Displaced

by LeafBug

Chapters

News To Me
Gambits and Lectures
Adaptation and Meetings
Making Friends
Generosity and Affirmation
Embarrassments and Adolescents
Quality Confections and High Expectations
Songs and Suspicion
Playing Detective
Ruffled Feathers

News To Me

The first sensation was awareness. And it was with this awareness that the story begins.

I am....

I think....

I am conscious.

I don't feel anything...

My senses don't seem to be working. That's... odd.

Am I unconscious? No, that doesn't make sense. I shouldn't be capable of lucid thought if I was unconscious.

...I'm taking this whole 'lack of sensory input' thing rather well. That's... also odd.

I suppose that's a good thing, panicking wouldn't do me any good. I need logic right now. I suppose the question the question to ask right now is, what happened to me?

The noise of thunder was in no way dulled by the impossible noise the rain was making on the corrugated steel roof of the car ports. A man, though barely that, some would say, was making his way through the drenched streets to the apartment complex his late friend resided in. Friend. Another loosely used term, the man had cut such social ties even before his “friend's” death; though the dead man was as close as he had come in a while.

As he finally entered the stairwell, and subsequently used the key given to him earlier in the day to enter the deceased man's apartment, he continued to ruminate on his thoughts. Walking through the modestly sized room he entered, he thought upon the circumstances of his frie-... more of an acquaintance, really; acquaintance's death. Suicide, via a bullet to the brain stem. But not before leaving a last will and testament, in which he had left everything he owned to the man now in the apartment; which unfortunately didn't include the apartment itself.

And so he had been asked politely via angry phone call to come “Pick up the dead guy's shit” as soon as possible, before they threw it into the dumpster. To be honest, the man didn't really care about most of the stuff that was in here, and he planned to leave all of the dead man's belongings in here just to make the landlord have to go through the effort of throwing everything out. However, there was one thing that was explicitly asked of him in his late acquaintance's will; to pick up a box from the bedroom and deliver it to the guy's mother. So the man decided to honor the last request of the only member of his social circle, it's not like he was that much of a douche.

Now leaving the apartment with the rather large box in hand, the man started his trek back to his own apartment, a few blocks away. Having long since been soaked through his clothes by the cold, late Autumn rain, he didn't really relish the idea. Stopping under the car ports he had passed by earlier for a moment to adjust his glasses, he began to hear sirens in the distance. Police sirens, to be exact.

Probably some drunk idiot getting chased by the cops, he mused to himself. Funnily enough, he was right, though that would never be known to him.

Walking into the poorly illuminated streets for the second time that night, the man struggled to hear anything over the din of the rain, or see anything through his fogged glasses. Astigmatism was a rather unfortunate byproduct of Albinism, truly.

He became aware of the police sirens coming rapidly closer to him, able to barely see lights from multiple police cruisers over the tops of a few houses before getting blinded by an ungodly light at the end of the street. It seems they were chasing someone that had stolen the cab of a semi.

Seeing this, he made the remarkably idiotic choice to rush across the street before the chance was blocked off by the chase, he did just that.

And then slipped.

In the middle of the street.

The box spilled its contents across the deceitfully slippery street, sliding away from him along with the glasses that dislodged from his face. With a groan, he got up quickly, trying to finish his mad dash as quickly as he could.

Only to be made painfully aware of the aforementioned chase by the airhorn of a semi truck.

Snapping his attention to his left, he got a nice glimpse of the blinding light of headlights before a quick jostling sensation, and blackness.

...God damn it. I'm such a dumbass.

Now being aware of his previous circumstances, the man tried to make sense of his current situation.

That was enlightening. I guess I'm in a coma or something like that.

It would make sense, I've heard that your senses don't come back immediately if you've been comatose for too long.

Seeing as how I got hit by a truck, I've probably been out for a lo-

Sensation. Touch. Feeling.

It returned in a bit of a rush to his battered mind, sending him reeling for a moment.

He was cold. Not overly so, but still enough to be kind of uncomfortable.

The next thing he noticed was that most of the sensations he felt were kind of... muffled. Like he had something covering him. Which would make sense if he were in a hospital, in a bed, and under sheets; but pressure indicated he was lying on his chest and stomach, and he wouldn't be so cold under sheets in a controlled environment like a hospital. This along with the fact that some parts were less 'muffled' than others debunked that theory entirely.

The third thing he felt was.... wrong.

Wrong, in so many ways, wrong. His face felt like it had something wrong with it in general. A slight cold breeze was caressing appendages he didn't know he had. His back obviously no longer held the same curve as it once did. Whatever was on his back gave a twitch, the feeling of it moving almost putting him in shock. No, not something. Somethings. The feeling was just.... strange, and alien and wrong.

But he stopped himself. He stopped and felt. And soon the alien sensations of his new appendages, one of which was almost connected to his ass (which was just awkward), became less.... well, wrong.

I will not panic. I will think, rationalize. Logic. I need logic, not fear.

And so he systematically tensed his muscles, including the new ones. His legs felt... off. Down to his knees was pretty much the same, if a bit shorter, maybe, but his feet were more constricted. His heels felt like they reached much farther back than they did before; as well his calves having changed, apparently. It was his weird elongated foot, his heel, his Achilles tendon, a length of leg that hugged his side a little bit along with his knee and thigh.* It was definitely different, that's for sure.

His arms, surprisingly, felt about the same as before. If not a bit more scrawny at the ends. And the fact that he apparently now only had three fingers, no real palm (there was a little there, but...), and his thumb was, well, opposite of them. It faced the other way now. While his hands were most definitely the strangest part, he found it increasingly odd that his shoulders would retain pretty much the same kind of joint as before, namely one resembling a ball and socket, even though the arm had quite obviously changed; yet his hips seemed to have changed along with his legs, they certainly felt different.

His face still felt off. He felt like he had... well, like he had a beak. There's no real way to describe it without having it yourself; he no longer had lips, or teeth, or the same kind of jaw. His nostrils were on it, and it felt weird breathing through them. His tongue rested inside whatever was jutting from his face: he could definitely feel that. He could also feel the breeze on it ever so slightly. It wasn't as sensitive as, say, his mouth was, but it wasn't completely dead to feeling.

Probably a beak, really. No two ways about it., he mused to himself.

Sight. Vision. Light.

To be honest, he only had noticed that last one at first, as he had yet to open his eyes. Light was shining through his closed eyelids, and so he slowly cracked them open and waited for his eyes to adjust.

The first thing he noticed was that everything had a crystal clear clarity, more than that, actually, which was quite a sight for someone who had Astigmatism their whole life. His vision was sharp as a tack, giving him a much better sense of sight than even when he had his glasses on. The second the he noticed was-

What.

He was in a forest clearing. In the middle of winter, it seemed, due to the snow on the ground and in the bare trees. It made no sense, but neither did the rest of his situation, so he ignored it for now. He had more pressing matters to attend to.

He tried not to focus on the blurry white thing on his face, which he assumed was his beak. It was surprisingly out of the way, only a bit more in sight than his nose was before he got turned into a red Picasso by that truck.

Using his newly regained sight to help orient himself, he awkwardly pushed himself onto all fours with what he felt in his throat as a grunt of effort.

He immediately noticed his arms were the same length as his legs. He was no longer bipedal.

Shit.

Not overly surprising at this point, but it could be inconvenient later.

Now standing, he felt the back appendages flop uselessly to the ground over his sides, and , with instincts he didn't have before, folded them onto his sides.

Turning his head to peer at them, he confirmed his growing hunch that he now had wings. Bird wings, to be exact; the same pristine white as the snow around him.

It seems a few things have followed me...

Continuing his slightly limited visual observations, he noted that those weird feeling arms of his were now exactly the same as a bird's, also completely white, claws and all. Additionally, he noted that his back feet were now paws, but in his standing position couldn't see anything more than that. Trying to remedy that, he ended up flopping onto his flank with his leg lifted up, like a cat trying to lick itself.

He idly noted how fitting that analogy was when he saw his legs were pretty much exactly the same as a cat's.

He frowned as best he could with the small amount of free muscle behind his beak (compared to a human's free range of expressions, that is) when his eyes wandered to between his new legs. Apparently he no longer had external genitalia, excluding a small pouch-ish flap of skin and fur, the purpose of which needn't be explained; and the universal waste remover located below his tail.

Speaking of, it looked rather nice. Tapered, not too incredibly long, ended in a tuft of fur. The tail, that is. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Looks like a lion's tail. Guess that clinches it, I've either turned into a Gryphon or have gone completely nuts. I suppose either way it'll be real for me, so let's just go with it.

Hearing. Sound.... Gurgling?

Well, not so much gurgling as what could be called “Babbling”. There was running water nearby, That's good to know.

With the return of his hearing and the end of his self observations, he righted himself and began to familiarize himself with the surroundings..

Small forest clearing, a bit cliché, but that's fine. Running water nearby, that's pretty great. Some poking around in the surrounding trees led to no real discoveries, so he moved for the stream, not without difficulty. He felt lucky no one saw him try and fail to walk his first couple of times; but he got the hang of it quickly enough, despite this form of locomotion being vastly different than the one he was used to.

And it was a stream, kind of small at that, but crystal clear. A small offshoot pool was still enough to reflect surfaces, and the man-turned-Gryphon got a shock when he saw his new face.

A fierce eagle's head stared back at him, stark white and piercing red eyes. Kind of creepy. A small crest of decorated feathers adorned the top of his head; which he was pretty sure wasn't on normal eagles, but at this point all the normal rules seemed to be moot. A somewhat small, hooked beak was stuck to his face, with a surprisingly emotive face behind it. He sat for a while, practicing his expressions in his mirror of sorts, leading to the discovery that he could open his beak rather wide, as well as convey his emotions quite well, as the beak didn't seem to quite connect its top and bottom pieces; as well as a small amount of somewhat elastic skin and muscle behind it. Not enough to be called cheeks, but it was still there.

“Huh, tha-”

He stopped, his reflection gaping wide-eyed back at him.

He could talk. It didn't make any sense, but he could talk.

He shouldn't be ABLE to talk, at least not in English, but he did. Or at least he heard it in English.

Frowning and shaking his head, he decided to take the all-too-often taken path recently, and didn't question it past that. It just hurt his head.

It was worth noting that his voice was impossibly deeper than it used to be, a deep, rumbly thing just reeking of the word 'Bass'.

After this startling revelation, his sense of smell returned to him. Sort of.

It seems as if this form didn't really have much in terms of an olfactory sense, and instead made up for with its exceptional vision. Whatever, humans were sight based creatures anyway, it's not like he turned into a dog or anything.

He turned his attention to his growing thirst. Figuring it couldn't hurt to try it, he awkwardly sated that need in the stream. If he got sick later, he'd know not to do it again.

Past that, he started walking upstream. He vaguely remembered that walking upstream was the way to go if you wanted to find civilization, or at least he thought he did. He heard it somewhere, whether it was a reputable source didn't matter right now.

After walking what seemed like hours, he didn't find a town or anything like that, just more woods, and more stream. It was rather boring. Thankfully, though, he found the chance to rest his now sore muscles in the form of a cave; which upon further inspection turned out to be empty. Glancing outside after his securing of the cave, he noted that it was starting to get dark, and he had no way to start a fire. Unfortunate. He did, however, now have fur and feathers, which might work well enough as a substitute for more advanced insulation.

It was also at this time that he realized he hadn't eaten all day, made painfully aware by a pinch of hunger from his stomach, accentuated by a loud growl.

Right. What do Gryphons eat? Meat, most likely. But I can't hunt for shit, I'm a city boy, no doubt. What would I even eat with this beak? I think eagles eat fish, right? That sounds right. I'll check the stream then.

Checking the stream in the waning light proved to be fruitless, not only was it Winter, so fish were pretty much out of season, but he was also wary to wander too far from his cave, lest he get lost somehow.

Night settled while he was still checking the stream, so he started walking back to his cave. He barely stopped to consider the fact that he could see just as well at night as in the day; and his hearing wasn't quite attuned enough to hear the sound of rustling tree branches by the stream, and a figure retreating with the sound of beating wings.

Author's Note

EDIT: Hurr durr derp, changed the appearance of his tail. Now it's an actual lion's tail (though modified a bit for flight) and not a stump.

*Just a note, I hate when people say “backwards knees”. No. NO. The knee isn't backwards, the knee is fine. That thing that you see as the “backwards knee” is a heel. Read up on your anatomy, good lord. (/pet peeve)

Some diagrams to help my shoddy descriptions are:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/62/Skeleton_of_a_cat.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ea/Superficial_muscles_of_a_cat.jpg

Gambits and Lectures

The unlikely duo's journey seemed to make time slow to a crawl, and Albus was getting less and less comfortable with the fact that he was following this 'Pony' away from his only known source of water. It wouldn't be terribly surprising to him if 'Dash' was just doing this to get him even more lost than he already is before ditching him.

Obviously, this mindset wasn't doing him any good. So he decided to ask the increasingly impatient Dash something that had been bugging him for a while.

“So... how exactly do you fly with wings that small?”

In a magnificent show of blatant disregard for the laws of physics, Dash flipped onto her back and continued flying that way in order to address her companion. “Well, you see, there are these motions that I do, commonly referred to as 'Flapping', and I-”

“Stop being an ass, you know what I mean,” Albus interrupted snappishly.

Cocking an eyebrow at him, Dash replied with, “No, not really. Enlighten me.”

I can't tell if she's still being an ass, or if she really doesn't get it...

Regardless, he decided to comply. “There's no way that wings as small as yours, in comparison to your body at least, should be able to give you any sort of meaningful lift. Not to mention the whole flying upside down thing you're doing right now, which is just weird, by the way.”

She looked confused at this, but gave a slight smirk and said, “You mean you really don't know? I thought you were just dumb.”

Getting increasingly irritated at this pony was becoming much too easy, and Albus was starting to lose his temper. “I don't make it a habit to study up on the inner machinations of the anatomy of a different species,” he all but snarled.

Dash blinked in surprise, retorting with, “Hey, don't get testy, I just thought you'd know, seeing as how it's pretty much the same thing for you. Or do I have to give you a lesson on basic ambient magic?”

He had no idea what the fuck this pony was talking about, but he felt it was a good opportunity to get information about how this place works without looking like an idiot; seeing as how this 'ambient magic' was apparently common knowledge, he couldn't really ask about it directly without raising suspicion. It would be all too difficult to explain the circumstances of his getting here.

So, he opted for a simple, “Humor me.”

Rolling her eyes and sighing, Dash began, “I guess it'll pass the time, if nothing else... Anyway, as you may or may not know,” Albus decided to ignore the jab in favor of taking mental notes, “all living creatures in the world have some form of ambient magic. Since I'm a pegasus pony, and you're a gryphon, ours are pretty much the same. We can fly even given the disadvantages that would normally not let us do just that, small wings and weight issues respectively.”

Weight issues? Is she calling me fat? No, wait, that doesn't make any sense. Maybe because I'm half lion or whatever, I should be too heavy to fly, but this 'ambient magic' lets me do it anyway... that actually makes sense, barring the whole 'magic is real' thing...

At this point of her impromptu lecture, Dash flipped back to a regular flying position and continued with, “It also explains the whole flying upside down thing, unicorn ponies being able to use spells, earth ponies having much higher strength thresholds, dragons being able to breathe fire, yadda yadda yadda.”

Stopping for a moment, Dash finished with, “I can't believe I actually remembered all of that from school, Twilight would be proud...”

Albus, on the other hand, was mentally filing away the wealth of new information he had just been provided by his pegasus guide.

Pegasi, Unicorns, and Dragons, oh my. Earth ponies? Maybe that's what they call ponies without wings or horns here; unless they have pony shaped earth golems walking around, which wouldn't be overly surprising at this point.

Silence reigned for a moment before the albino gryphon of the group noticed something strange about his guide. Well, more strange than usual.

Being the inquisitive person he is, he decided to bring it up.

“So, what's up with the mark thing on your flank? Does it mean anything?”

Dash turned her head and gave him an incredulous look. “Do you really not know what a cutie mark is?”

Albus, for his part, did a remarkable job of not bursting into laughter after hearing the title of her ass-tattoo, and played it off as smoothly as he could. “I'm not terribly familiar with ponies, if you haven't noticed.”

This, of course, was based on the assumption that it was a uniquely pony thing. He didn't have one, so he just kind of guessed that gryphons didn't get them. Thankfully for him, he was right.

“Right,” Dash replied with a kind of 'oh yeah' look upon her face. “A cutie mark is what happens when a pony discovers their special talent, and is a visual representation of that talent. Like, mine represents how my talent is going fast, being an athlete and the like.” At this, she got a big, boastful grin on her face, and continued with, “You happen to be in the presence of the fastest flier in Equestria!”

Dash stopped for a moment, then made a face and started grumbling under breath about how she was starting to sound like a professor. Or Twilight. She shuddered at the thought.

A rainbow lightning bolt... lightning bolt equals fastest flier in Equestria? Makes sense, I guess. Wait, Equestria?

“Is that the name of this country?” Albus blurted out before he could stop himself.

Dash gave him a look.

“Uh, yeah, duh. How do you not know about Equestria? We're kind of a superpower, you know.”

Shit, shit shit.

Albus tried not to panic as he thought of a way to dig himself out of the hole he just oh so willingly jumped into.

“Well, I figured that I was in Equestria, I just wasn't sure. Ponies exist outside of the borders, you know.”

It was a risk, assuming things like that, but it was the only convincing thing he could think of at the moment. Thankfully, Dash seemed to believe him. Or at least go with his story.

“Uh huh. Well, now you know.”

That didn't sound very convinced...

Wanting to make sure he completely avoided that possible crisis, Albus asked the obvious question.

“Are we getting any closer to town?”

Dash seemed a bit confused when he asked this question, and replied, “I don't know, let me check,” before flying high above the treeline and looking in the direction of their travel. Albus noted idly at this time that his vision was good enough in this form that he could still see her quite clearly, even though she was at least 100 feet away. After looking around for a second or two, Dash returned with a surprisingly genuine smile on her face.

“We're almost there, about a half hour's walk from here, that-a-way,” She announced, pointing with her hoof somewhere not quite in the direction they were originally facing.

“Right then, vamanos.” Albus replied, already starting in their new direction at a slightly elevated pace.

“Vama-what?”

Damn it.

He'd forgotten that a pony probably wouldn't understand anything he said in a language other than English. Come to think of it, the odds of them speaking English were so astronomically low that he decided to count himself lucky they were able to communicate at all.

“It means 'let's go' in a language you evidently don't know. Let's get a move on, I want to be there before sunset.”

And with that, he set off, Dash quickly taking up the lead again. Not like time was a legitimate concern, the sun was still high in the sky, barely past noon most likely; he just wanted to avoid explaining how he knew a language from another planet. Honestly, he was kind of surprised that she let it drop that quickly.

Maybe the initial hostility is wearing off. Or maybe she's realized that she's alone in the woods with an apex predator. Actually, she's probably just anxious to get home and away from the feathered asswipe that she's volunteered to take care of. That sounds about right.

Time passed surprisingly quickly, and Albus was taken from his various thoughts and reflections by the sight of a snow covered Ponyville through the trees, only about a half mile away. Even from this distance he could see a few vaguely pony shaped colorful dots wandering about in the town.

The forest seemed to wrap around the town in a sort of semicircle, a road leading away from the town on the other side apparently forking into two paths; one leading to what would look like another forest, if it didn't have a few large buildings near it (which he could just barely see), the other leading off towards some mountain in the distance.

The sight, however, was slightly ruined by a more pressing matter at the moment, and he cleared his throat to get Dash's attention.

“What?”

“You can go on ahead if you want, I've gotta... answer a call of nature real quick. I'll be right behind you.”

At that, Dash gave a nod and zipped off towards Ponyville, leaving a rainbow colored contrail in her wake. Albus stared in confusion at the rainbow afterimage for a moment, briefly wondering how a pony could possibly accelerate that fast, or even go that fast, before filing it under 'Magic' and meandering a bit further into the treeline to do his business.

After an awkward ordeal of trying to figure out how not to urinate on himself (Damn this new anatomy!), Albus started out towards Ponyville.

On the way there, he thought about what exactly he was getting himself into. Surely enough, this was the only civilization he knew how to reach without dying of some cause or another, but it was also a completely different culture, with rules he didn't know. Not to mention the fact that magic is evidently a reality in this world, which just throws out a whole bunch of his rules.

Slowing to a stop about a quarter of the way to his destination, he thought. Now was the time for a choice, surely. He could leave, no doubt, and could conceivably carve out his own life in the wilderness, but did he want that? Could he even do that? He wasn't exactly Mr. Wilderness...

Even if this new town was filled with ponies and not humans, did he want a life of isolation (assuming he could even live said life)? Throw in the fact that he didn't really know how to hunt, and that the forest seemed kind of... uninhabited, and the choice leans even more heavily towards going to the nearby town.

So why was he having such a difficult time convincing himself to keep walking? It's not like he could go back to his old life without outside assistance, assuming he'd even want to. This was a clean slate, a new start. Well, sort of. He might have soured his gryphon-pony relations with how he had treated Dash. Even so, that was only one pony, and he'd handled the situation decently enough. It's not like he'd be treated as a freak or anything when he got to town, Dash's reaction to him had assured him of that much at least.

Through his rumination he hadn't even noticed he had started towards Ponyville again until he was about 30 feet from the welcome sign, the few ponies around the outskirts of the town just starting to notice his presence.

Well, might as well roll with it. I've got nothing to lose, I suppose.

And with that thought, Albus walked into the deceptively quiet town of Ponyville.

Author's Note

Guys, I'm fine with the occasional encouraging "MOAR", but it would be really nice if you could give me some legitimate feedback. I won't know what I'm doing wrong unless you tell me.

On that note, I don't like writing for Dash. She doesn't really have a consistent character, so I don't have much to base her dialogue and the like off of. Other than the whole "Spy" thing, that was just fun.

Adaptation and Meetings

The reaction to Albus' arrival was... mixed.

Quite a few of the ponies opted to simply ignore him, which he was more than fine with. A few of them, especially the really small ones (which he assumed were children... or would it be foals?), stopped to stare at him at least a little bit. None of them approached him, however, and really the only extreme reaction he got was out of a yellow pegasus when he caught it-, or, her, he would later know, eye.

More specifically, she fainted.

Other than that, he spent most of the time spent wandering through Ponyville observing the ponies, and trying to ignore his growing hunger. On the part of the ponies, he found that the stallions and mares had several distinctive features, like the stallions having broader shoulders and longer faces, for the most part, with the mares being.... pretty much the opposite of that. He also noticed that mares were quite firmly in the majority; by how much he wasn't sure, there were just a lot more.

Also on the subject of ponies, he noticed a few of the pegasus ponies flying around and manipulating the clouds; which were rather close to the ground, come to think of it. He assumed this had something to do with the whole 'ambient magic' thing, and wondered for a while if he could do the same thing.

On the matter of his hunger, he certainly didn't notice any fish stalls or butcheries, so it was safe to assume that he wouldn't be finding any meat anytime soon. He found it just dandy that he had to be dropped off in an herbivore society. Add that to the fact that he wasn't sure whether or not he could digest plants, and...

* GGRRRRRBRBLRBLRBLR.... *

He was practically causing earthquakes with his stomach at this point, and his miserable face and somewhat shaky legs only attested to his hunger even more.

“Ugh....”

The worst part about this was, even in the unlikely event that he could digest plant material, he didn't have any money to buy anything with! Maybe one of the restaurants around here would accept labor in return for food...

“Heeeey, Grumpy Beak!”

Oh dear god, not her...

Sighing, he replied as pleasantly as he could with, “Yes, Dash?” as the only pony he knew landed in front of him, this time sporting a rainbow colored scarf.

Quirking an eyebrow at him, Dash asked, “What's with the long face?”

His stomach was quick to answer that for him, Dash practically wincing at how loud it was, with a few passers-by actually jumping in surprise.

“Holy moly, dude. I don't think it's healthy to starve yourself...”

“I don't exactly have any way to pay for food, Dash. Plus, uh...” he trailed off, not really wanting to confess his lack of knowledge about his own body.

“Plus what?” came the obvious question from the colorful pony.

“I, uh....” he sighed, “I don't really know if I can eat plants like ponies can. We didn't eat much outside of meat back home.”

He was, of course, lying through his tee-, err, beak, about that, but he thought it was a reasonable enough venture.

Dash seemed a bit surprised though, “Oh, really? I thought that most gryphons got at least a few plants in their diet...” she frowned a little before muttering, “Or at least Gilda did...”

She took that surprisingly well. I'm better at this than I thought. He mused to himself, ignoring the comment about Gilda. Probably a gryphon she knows, if she's comparing them to me.

“Anyway,” Dash continued, “I suppose since you're new in town I could treat you to a meal, but you'll owe me.”

“I already owe you, I'd still be lost if not for you.”

Dash looked thoughtful for a little bit, “Oh, well, there is that, I guess, but that was more for my friend Fluttershy than anything else.”

Okay, now I'm confused.

“Flutter-who-now?” Albus queried, confusion written all over his face. He'd ignored the last couple of comments regarding names he didn't know, but since this involved him...

“Oh, yeah, you probably haven't met anypony in town; Fluttershy is a friend of mine. She said she had seen you in the forest in the other day, but was too nervous to ask if you needed help. Apparently she left you a fish or something, in case you were hungry.” Dash replied easily.

The gryphon's eyebrows – or whatever counts as his eyebrows, seeing as how he has a bird head – shot up in surprise at this news, and he quickly asked, “Really? That was her? Where is she now? Can I meet her?”

Dash seemed incredibly amused by his word choice, and he was confused why until she said, “Easy there, Hotshot, I don't think she's interested in gryphons.”

Interested in- what? What does th-... Oh. Oooooh.

After hearing this, Albus did the only thing he could think to do, and face-palmed.

“You would, Dash. That's not what I meant and you know it.”

This was apparently incredibly amusing to the pony, as she was soon rolling on the snow covered street, laughing her cutie mark off and getting a few strange looks from other pedestrians.

Rolling his eyes and giving a derisive snort, Albus decided to address a more pressing matter; that of getting food. “Good to know I'm so amusing to you, Dash. Although I suppose introductions can wait. You said something about buying me food, correct?”

Recovering from her laughing fit, the athlete soon responded with, “Yeah yeah, I'll feed you. I haven't eaten yet either, to be honest,” she paused, appearing to think about something, “Give me a sec, I gotta figure out how to fill your gigantic self up without going broke...”

Albus gave a small smile and a nod, willing to wait if he could eat his fill. Rushing wasn't going to get him anywhere.

In the small lapse in conversation, Albus pondered how strange it was that not too long ago they were yelling at each other in the woods -- hell, even just a little bit ago he wasn't all that fond of her -- but now they were cracking jokes and she was buying him dinner.

Well, that last bit is probably mostly pity, but still. It's nice to know I can sort of count on someone here.

He stopped at that thought; could he really count on this pony? He supposed yes, she seemed friendly enough when not interrogating him, and it's not like he knew anything about this place. He had to rely on someone until he got his bearings, he just hoped that he wouldn't be too much of a burden until then. He knew he was an ass, but he wasn't ungrateful, and he knew how much Dash had helped him; and she was still helping him, even! Were all ponies this generous?

Even if they aren't, they seem to grow on you pretty qui-

His thought process was cut short by a hoof prodding him in the chest.

“Hey, you still in there?”

Blinking in surprise, he cleared his throat and took in the situation: more specifically, Dash standing in front of him with an amused grin on her face.

“Sorry about that, I zoned out for a bit. What were you saying?”

Rolling her eyes, Dash gave a, “Yeah, I could see that,” before repeating what she said whilst Albus was in his own little world. “I said there's a buffet place little while away from here, it's all-you-can eat, and has a pretty decent selection. You should be able to find something edible there, plus I don't have to worry about The Beast-” by some cosmic chance, Albus' stomach chose right then to give one of its cataclysmic growls, as if to reiterate her statement; Dash gave a small snort of laughter before continuing with, “eating more than my wallet can handle.”

This proclamation made Albus give her a wide smile. This was a great plan, in his eyes; not only did he get to eat whatever he wanted without feeling bad about infringing too much on Dash's hospitality, but if he could only eat a limited selection of the menu, he could just get a lot of that, instead of accidentally ordering the wrong thing and having it go to waste.

“Sounds like a plan, Dash. Lead the way,” he chirped, quite happy with this turn of events.

Giving him a nod, Dash gave the universal 'follow me' motion with her head, before zipping off over the rooftops between them and their destination.

….only to come back a few seconds later with a sheepish grin on her face, before giving a nervous chuckle and saying, “Oh yeah, forgot about your wing. Sorry...”

To be honest, I completely forgot what my excuse not to fly was. Thanks for reminding me.

Regardless, the pigment-less former man merely gave a dismissive wave, saying, “It happens to the best of us,” before walking towards the street that he thought would take them in the direction they needed to go.

Dash once again taking the lead in a slow hover, Albus began reflecting upon his situation again, absentmindedly following the only pony he knew through the unfamiliar streets of Ponyville.

Huh, it's starting to get dark... Should probably make it a priority to get a place to sleep. After food, that is.

I'm taking this whole, 'surrounded by sentient pony-things' situation rather well. I suppose I've just learned to accept the situation, or something. It probably also has something to do with gryphons being a sentient race in this place too; they aren't freaked out by me, so I'm under less pressure from being different. It's definitely a good thing that there doesn't seem to be any tension between the ponies and gryphons, otherwise I might have made myself a target for stigma without even knowing it.

Speaking of gryphons, there don't seem to be any here. Then again, the country is named 'Equestria', so it makes sense it would be a dominantly pony nati-

Albus' thoughts were, again, cut off by Dash announcing, “Alright, this is the place!”

Ending his musings for the moment, he stopped himself from walking into Dash by inches, and backed up before she could notice.

The sign of the buffet proudly stated: “Silver Corral”.

Albus stared at the sign for a few moments with a blank look on his face, trying to make sense of the universe-spanning joke in front of his eyes without having an aneurism.

“Hey, Alby, you alright?”

Blinking his way out of the mind fuck that was the restaurant's name, he could only reply with, “Alby?”

Dash simply shrugged, “I thought it was fitting.”

Albus was going to assert that, no, it was most certainly not fitting, when a posh, feminine voice said, “Oh, hello there Rainbow, what a pleasant surprise!” from right next to his head.

Jumping and giving a rather undignified “Squawk!”, Albus reacted with more of those new-found instincts of his, and with a powerful flap of his wings he majestically catapulted himself into...

...the wall of the buffet, which was pretty impressive, given it was about 20 feet away at the time.

Sliding to the ground with a pained groan, he remained there for a second or two before raising himself and shaking himself, much like a wet dog.

The new arrival's apologies were cut off by Albus' pained yelp, followed by him clamping his beak shut with a talon to keep from shouting the plethora of obscenities that threatened to violently escape from him.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!

Upon launching himself into the rather hard exterior wall of the eatery, he smashed the 'shoulder' of his wing into the wall, and it in fact took most of the impact for him. Which, as you may or may not know, is quite bad for the health of your wing (if you have one), and caused him quite a bit of pain when he jostled himself so violently when standing up.

“Oh, dear! I'm ever so sorry, my good sir! Are you alright? Do you need medical attention?” the posh voice said worriedly, sounding rather genuinely apologetic.

Thankfully, Dash saved him from having to reply when she gave a gasp and said, “Oh man! He said he sprained his wing sometime ago; it must've still been injured and when he flapped his wings like that...” she trailed off, not really needing to finish that train of thought.

Not quite, but it gives credence to my story. I'll work with – ow, ow, ow – work with it.

His unintentional assailant gave a gasp of her own and was probably about to go off on another apology spree when Albus cut her off, clearing his throat.

Now turning his gaze to where he had flung himself from, he saw the pony that had, quite embarrassingly, startled him so badly.

A quite pretty snow white coat and horn adorned the small unicorn, as well as a meticulously groomed, styled, and incredibly eye catching deep amethyst mane and tail. To top it all off, her cutie mark was a trio of diamonds.

All in all, she most certainly looked the part of the refined lady; that is if she wasn't near tears with guilt.

Whoa.

Albus didn't know what to expect, but he most certainly didn't expect anyone to be so shook up about an accident like this. Feeling kind of sorry for her, and wanting to discourage the few bystanders this little scene had brought on by disarming any drama, he quickly followed up on his harrumph with, “It's quite alright, ma'am; these things do happen. I bear no ill will towards you for something that was quite obviously not your fault, though your concern is greatly appreciated.”

Dash looked dumbfounded, apparently she didn't know that he was capable of any sort of polite eloquence. The small gaggle of drama-hungry ponies around them mostly dispersed at this point, all the gossip-worthy parts apparently being over with.

The other pony, however, looked quite relieved, if a little bit surprised at the lengths he went to suspend her guilt, and replied with, “Oh, goodness, thank you,” before blinking and carrying forward with, “Oh, dear me, where are my manners today? My name is Rarity, my good gentlefowl, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Gentlefowl? That... works, I guess... I guess it's better that I know to distinguish before calling a bunch of guys 'men', which would make no sense, obviously.

Putting on his best smile, though it was ruined somewhat by the occasional grimace of pain, the 'gentlefowl' continued his polite semi-façade with a little bow (at least, he thought it was a proper bow) and, “The pleasure is all mine, Miss Rarity. You may know me as Albus, Albus Vires.”

Rarity beamed with pleasure at the exchange, but before it could continue any further Dash cut in with a rather conspicuous cough.

“Oh, my apologies Rainbow, I didn't mean to steal your date from you!”

This statement sent Albus and Dash sputtering, a blush playing across the latter's face.

Before either of them could protest her word usage, Rarity concluded with, “I'm afraid I must cut our conversation short, Rainbow, Mr. Vires, I have an important order I simply must get done by tomorrow; I have little time to lose. Have a pleasant evening, you two!”

And with that, she was off, leaving the feathered pair dumbfounded in her wake.

* GRRGBLGBLGRBLRGBLRGB *

Albus took this moment to agree with his stomach, “Hey, uh, I don't wanna sound ungrateful or anything, but can we hurry up and eat?”

Jumping on the opportunity to avoid the awkward note Rarity had left them on, Dash responded with a nod and a simple, “Right.”

Quickly walking into the Silver Corral (Don't think about it, don't think about it...), they were assaulted with the scents of cooking food and the sounds of a buffet's worth of conversation filling the air. Well, not so much the smell bit on Albus' part.

“Welcome to the Silver Corral!” a cheery pony greeted them from behind a counter, next to a cash register.

Albus watched as Dash paid the pony, and as they were being led towards the tables by the host asked, “Hey, how does the currency work in this country?”

Dash gave an exaggerated sigh and rolled her eyes jokingly, “Geez, you're like a little foal, I have to explain everything to you,” giving a small chuckle, she expanded upon that with, “I keep forgetting you're a foreigner, I guess not knowing how Bits work makes sense, though.”

Bits? They call their money bits? Is everything here some horse pun, or what?

Thankfully unaware of his internal tirade, Dash explained how bits worked. What Albus got from it was this: a copper bit was 1 bit, a silver bit was 10, and a gold bit was 50. And that was pretty much it.

After securing a table for themselves, they split up, walking about the buffet area to get their own food. Unsurprisingly, everything was vegetarian, but that didn't exclude baked goods such as bread, pastries, and the like from appearing on the menu, so he knew he could probably at least eat something. He immediately avoided things that were inedible even as a human, though, such as the 'Hayburgers' they had somewhere in the lineup.

Upon returning to the table, Dash was still absent, so he decided to just start eating. Not being able to chew made eating some things awkward, or downright impossible, and he noticed that he couldn't really taste anything he was eating. The reason for this, he recalled from one of his random biology lessons, was that your sense of smell constituted a large part of your sense of taste; which he had always found odd since dogs apparently couldn't taste for crap, despite having incredibly strong noses (which was the only reason he remembered that fact).

He found himself getting seconds, and thirds, and fourths, much to a rather shocked Dash's wonder. It was actually a bit intimidating, the metabolism and appetite of a fully grown gryphon. On his way to leave for a fifth helping of food, Dash stopped him with a somewhat sheepish smile on her face, “Hey, uh, Alby... I don't want it to seem like I'm ditching you or anything, but, I uh... I have to get up early tomorrow and...”

Seeing where this was going, Albus stopped her there, “Not a problem, Dash. If you've gotta go, that's fine. I owe you one for the food, eh?”

Looking rather relieved, Dash couldn't resist the urge to poke fun at her newest companion, “Yeah, I'm lucky I chose a place where they can't charge extra for eating the entire stock of food, huh? Anyways, thanks. I'll see you later, Alby!”

And then there was one.

Albus quickly fetched and finished the fifth course of his impossibly large meal (one of the chefs had given him a funny look when he took half of an entire cake onto his plate), and decided to call it quits.

That was ridiculous. I hope I don't get fat from eating all of that... Plus there's the whole nutritional value thing, I can't live off of breads and veggies forever, I need meat. Maybe I can exchange some work for some fish with... uh... what's-her-face... Butterfly or something.

As he was exiting the rapidly depopulating Silver Corral, he could swear he heard somepony say, “Did you see how much he ate?”

Chuckling to himself, he stepped out into the cold night air, giving a small shiver when the comparatively sensitive pads on his hind feet met the snow.

Stretching a bit, he gave a start at the shock of pain that ran through him from his still tender wing.

Ugh, that's going to be annoying. I hope that doesn't keep me grounded for too long, learning to fly could be pretty useful. And would probably burn enough calories to justify eating so much...

Regardless, he had more pressing matters to attend to at the moment, such as finding somewhere to sleep tonight. Though, come to think of it, his body seemed pretty damn well insulated against the cold, so it was entirely possible that he could just find a tree or something to sleep in and he'd be fine.

Looking around, he noted that he was right near the town square, and other than a random weird looking giant tree that somehow still had leaves despite the whole 'Winter' deal, there wasn't really anywhere to sleep nearby.

Giving a yawn, he started walking towards the strange tree, gradually noticing different things about it, like a balcony, darkened windows, a door, and a sign that read 'Ponyville Public Library'.

Huh.

The whole thing made no real sense, so he chalked it up to magic and decided to call it a day. Well, once he climbed up the thing, at least.

Flying was out of the question, but he knew he could jump pretty high, so he figured he could make it. Maybe. The bigger problem lied in his unfamiliarity with the local laws, and he wasn't sure sleeping on public property was socially acceptable. So, after making sure nopony – When did I start using that term? Whatever. – was looking, he crouched low, tensed his legs, and jumped for one of the lower branches, which was a good 10 feet off of the ground.

That's when he realized he had just jumped past the balcony. Which was at least 18 feet off the ground. Now was a good time to try and land on that balcony, actually.

And he did just that, landing gracefully in a heap with a grunt from his throat and a loud thud from the rest of his body. At least he didn't land on his wing that time.

Wait, loud thud. Crap, I hope no one's in the-

He froze as a light turned on in one of the windows, and quickly jumped to a higher branch and maneuvered himself to get nestled into a rather convenient pile of snow resting on top of the main trunk, where it branched off to the sides; it made a convenient bed, actually. Though it could stand to be a bit warmer.

He was quickly reminded of why he was hiding by a unicorn stepping onto the balcony, looking frazzled and bedraggled. She looked around a bit before shivering visibly and walking back inside, the sound of a lock engaging standing out in the increasing silence of the town.

Sighing in relief, Albus pushed most of the snow out of his new perch before curling up in the nice little bowl-like shape it made.

Let's hope I can get out of here tomorrow without anypony noticing I slept on top of the library...

Author's Note

Surprise update! A special long chapter for those of you insane enough to read my story!
Remember to leave feedback, please, my statement still stands: If you tell me what I'm doing wrong it'll get fixed faster!

Plus, I like when people tell me what I'm doing right. >.>
Get on it, y'all!

Also: Lol, Grumpy Beak.

Making Friends

Blearily opening his eyes to the early morning sun, Albus let out a large yawn.

Standing up and stretching, he absentmindedly started walking to the bathroom.

Just as he was about to put his foreleg down, he stopped.

Wait...

Looking down, he saw himself about to step off of a 30 foot drop onto the ground, and wisely decided to stay on his perch.

Right, fell asleep in a tree. He gave a shiver and brushed some of the morning frost off of his plumage, mentally noting, That wasn't the best idea.

Sitting down for the moment, he tentatively extended his wings, waiting for the sharp pain he had felt yesterday. It never came.

Perplexed, he experimentally flapped his wings a few times.

Lo and behold, all better!

Looking around him, he noted that, except for the balcony he had used last night, there was no particularly safe way of getting out of the tree.

The problem with that option, however, is that the same unicorn he had woken up last night was currently on that balcony, apparently enjoying a book, some tea, and a blanket. Thankfully, she was facing the town, and not him.

He was momentarily mesmerized by the purple glow surrounding the pony's horn, similar auras around the book and mug, before noticing something a bit more relevant to his current situation.

It's a nice thought and all, but I doubt it's all that comfortable to be reading out on the balcony on a cold Winter morning. To hell with your tea and blanket, Pony, you're fucking insane.

Regardless, this didn't help his situation at all, and was about to start looking for another way down, when a voice made him jump.

“Not going to stay for some tea?”

The question was completely out of the blue, and the pony still had her back turned to him, and he wondered for a moment if she was talking to someone else before the unicorn continued.

“Yes, I know you're up there. Stay, have some tea.”

With that, he noticed a second mug, steam coming off the top, levitating next to the apparently telepathic pony.

Wait, can they read minds? Dash said unicorns could use spells, didn't she?

This train of thought wasn't getting him anywhere, so he resigned himself to his fate, sighed, and decided to take the pony up on her offer.

To his credit, he landed quite nicely on the balcony, only shaking it slightly more than a 7 on the Richter scale would. To her credit, she only jumped a little bit.

Sitting down next to the pony, he took in her appearance. Her coat and horn were a light shade of lavender, with her mane being a darker purple, though not quite the lustrous amethyst that was Rarity's coiffure. Two small stripes, one a light blue and the other a rosy pink, ran through her mane side-by-side; but other than that, the blanket covered most of her features.

Taking the mug that she had offered him sometime during his observation of her, the lavender pony broke the silence with, “You snore really loudly.”

Giving a snort of laughter as he tested the temperature of his tea, much too hot for now, Albus replied with, “Well, that's one way to address the guy who slept on top of the library and, evidently, kept you up all night with his monstrous snoring. Though I was expecting a bit less civility.”

The unicorn gave a small chuckle, before giving her own retort of, “Yes, well, I figured that sleeping out in the open in the middle of a Winter night was enough of a punishment for disturbing my sleep a bit.”

She paused before continuing with, “Speaking of civility, my name is Twilight Sparkle. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?”

Classy.

“I've been called quite a few things in my stay here, but you may call me Albus Vires. A pleasure, Ms Sparkle.”

Looking over at him for the first time to offer a smile, Twilight instead had a look of surprise for a moment before regaining her composure, “Quite, Mr. Vires. I have to say, I thought you were much smaller when I saw you sleeping...”

Feigning indignation, he replied with, “Are you calling me fat?”

This sent Twilight for a loop, and, blushing profusely, she attempted to sputter an apology for a second before noticing the mischievous grin adorning the gryphon's face.

Pouting, she called him out on it. “Poor show, Mr. Vires. And here I thought you were quite the gentlefowl.”

She sounded somewhat relieved, and Albus picked up on it, so he responded more casually with, “Only when the situation dictates, my good pony. And please, call me Albus, I'm not the biggest fan of unnecessary formalities.”

Letting out an almost explosive sigh, Twilight said, “Oh thank Celestia, it's way too early for that nonsense, anyhow. I'm honestly really glad to drop that whole 'unending pleasantries' act. I had to deal with pompous nobles almost every day back when I lived in Canterlot; the niceties and 'proper' responses got a bit stale after a while, you see.”

Celestia? Canterlot? I can probably feign-, well, it's not really 'feigning' if I actually don't know, ignorance on the part of the second one if I play the 'foreigner' card, but she used 'Celestia' like I would use 'God'; I'm assuming it's some sort of religion, but I don't want to risk asking about it. For all I know, it could be like asking someone on my world, 'Who's that God guy they keep talking about'?

Regardless of his internal monologue, Albus played his part in the conversation with, “Oh, that's fine, I understand. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing, but too much of something like that would probably make me go postal.”

Twilight seemed confused. “Postal? I don't get it...”

Cursing his ignorance of usable expressions, he replied simply with, “Insane,” and took an experimental sip from his mug, pleased to find it drinkable.

Twilight still seemed perplexed, “That's an odd expression for something like that... “

Albus opted for a shrug and a change of subject, eager to avoid explaining a postal worker's homicidal rampage, “Yeah, I guess. So, Twilight, I assume you're the librarian here?”

His companion visibly perked up at that, responding with, “Oh, yes. I've always loved books, so living in the library is a bit of a dream come true,” at this, she frowned a bit, “It's a shame it doesn't see more use though; I can understand the fact that the library isn't exactly a hot hang-out spot, but it would be nice if ponies here took more of an active interest in reading.”

The gryphon gave a wistful smile at this, crimson eyes a bit glazed over. “Yes, it's nice for your work to be appreciated, isn't it? I'm glad that you keep working here despite the lack of interest; it's always a shame when somepony just quits in life,” he stopped, lost in thought for a moment, before continuing with, “Speaking of interest, I would like to read up on a few subjects, if you don't mind.”

Twilight looked delighted at the prospect, “Oh, of course! Which subjects, exactly? We should be able to accommodate your needs, assuming it isn't anything too exotic.”

We?

“I need a few books on anatomy, both that of ponies and gryphons, if you could, Equestrian history, and the dynamics of flight,” the gryphon rattled off.

Seeming a bit confused by his choices, Twilight shrugged and with a short, “Be right back,” was walking back into the house, book, blanket, and mug in tow, shouting out, “Spike! Help me find some books!”

Spike? Must be the other person she was talking about.

As per usual, Albus took the momentary silence to think upon his situation, gazing out upon a slowly awakening Ponyville.

It was nice that the locals were apparently so friendly, and it certainly worked in his favor, but he wasn't really liking the idea of putting his life into the hooves of these ponies. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have much of a choice at the moment. Come Spring, he could probably get by with just a quality net and some waterside property, but for now he had nothing but his wit and his... friends. Were they friends? Dash, maybe. She seemed like a good enough pony, and he sort of trusted her. More than anything else in this place at least. Rarity and Twilight were more... acquaintances.

He paused in his thoughts for a moment. Acquaintances. The word brought back bad memories, namely that of getting his dumb ass ran over by a truck.

But was it really so bad, being brought here? He wasn't exactly much of a socialite as a human, and he had never even known his family. His life wasn't a sob story, even with him being an orphan since birth. All of his friends had drifted away at some point, both physically and mentally. Plus the fact that he probably should be dead, and looking a gift horse in the mouth was generally a bad idea.

This was a good opportunity for him, a new life where he wasn't stuck in a dead-end job working for some bigwig company.

And it's not like being changed was all that bad, either. Given, he would have probably preferred to stay human at first, but he was getting used to the idea of being a gryphon. Besides, gryphons were awesome. He liked being awesome. The whole thing would be just that much better once he got the hang of flying.

I need a job. What could I do for a town of ponies? Maybe they have a blacksmith, and I could try getting an apprenticeship or something. Looking over himself, he gave a smirk. I certainly have the build for it now.

“Hey, gryphon guy.”

Albus blinked in surprise. That wasn't Twilight, unless she suddenly turned into a guy and forgot his name.

Turning around to face the doorway, there seemed to be a pile of books with purple reptilian legs and a pudgy green belly talking to him. Of course, that was when the pile of books lowered, and revealed the speaker to be a really short... bipedal lizard thing. He, at least Albus thought it was a he, based on the voice, had green spikes cresting the top of his head and running down his back, ending on a swaying purple tail that had a broad, spade-like tip.

“Twilight said she had some errands to do before the snowstorm today,” continued the small reptile, “So she told me to give you these books and apologize for running out on you like that.”

Taking the books under an arm from the little guy, Albus said, “Thank you. The name's Albus, I assume you're Spike?”

The little library assistant beamed, “Yep, that's me. Twilight's number 1 assistant and Ponyville's resident dragon!”

...dragon? Must be a baby, or something. Wait, snowstorm?

Turning his attention to the skies, sure enough, there were pegasus ponies flitting about, collecting clouds and combining them into one, steadily growing cloud.

Giving a thoughtful hum, Albus turned back to Spike and asked him, “Do you know what time the snow is supposed to start? They don't seem all that close to finishing.”

Spike thought for a moment before replying decisively with, “Nope!”

Gee, thanks.

Regardless, Albus shrugged and said, “Eh. Oh well. Thanks anyway, and tell Twilight I said thanks for the help, alright?”

Giving a nod, the tiny dragon walked back inside, saying over his shoulder, “Will do. See you around.”

Now that he was alone again, Albus took a look out at the town. Obviously, nopony was setting up their stalls or whatever in the marketplace due to the apparently scheduled storm, so there were very few ponies actually out and about at the time.

Hmm.... high up on a balcony, nopony around to see if I fuck up... seems like a good opportunity to try and fly, maybe. Or at least glide, just so I know what it's like.

This, of course, wasn't his brightest idea, but Albus Vires wasn't exactly known for being the sharpest tool in the shed; just look at how he got to this place.

So, before that nasty little thing known to some as 'Common Sense' could kick in, he jumped off of the balcony and snapped open his wings, books secure under his arm.

The sensation of air flowing around his wings was one he was unfamiliar with, quite obviously, and he wasn't quite sure how to describe it. Neither did he really know how to feel about falling the way he was.

Which, thankfully for him, was with more forward momentum than downward.

While his ignorance thankfully didn't throw him straight into the ground, as the air foils of his wings and the magic in his body took care of that little fact for him; his ignorance of how to land from a glide was made all too obvious when he had to barely avoid running into a building because of his forward momentum.

He did, however, bowl over a certain canary yellow pegasus, nearly dropping his books in the process (honestly, it was a feat in itself that it hadn't happened yet), and somehow ending up on his back, stars in his eyes and vision spinning.

After righting himself and shaking off the impact, much like he had done yesterday, he checked on the pony he had accidentally smashed into.

Hey, it's that one that fainted when I looked at her. Wait, if she fainted from me looking at her, what...

His answer was found in the form of a cowering yellow and pink pony, shrinking even further into herself (somehow) when he turned his gaze to her.

Oh. These ponies are kinda sensitive....

“Hey, uh...” he paused when she gave a start at his voice, but continued anyway, “Are you alright, miss? I hope I didn't hurt you or anything...” he trailed off, shifting his weight awkwardly.

“I'm okay...”

Say what?

“Pardon?”

“I'm okay...”

Letting out an explosive sigh of relief at her barely audible response, he said, “Oh, good. I was afraid something was wrong. Other than the whole 'knocking you to the ground' thing, at least,” carefully setting his books down on a dry patch of ground, he offered a talon 'palm' up to the still huddled pony. “Need help?”

Poking an eye out from behind her rather long pink mane, she gave a barely perceptible nod before putting a hoof on his claw and using it to help push herself up, muttering a barely audible “Thanks...”

Albus just smiled, “Not a problem, ma'am. I'm terribly sorry for running into you like that, I'm, uh, not used to landing with only three legs,” he said, gesturing to the books still on the ground before picking them back up. “Again, terribly sorry. I'll be out of your mane presently.”

Best part about that was, technically I wasn't lying.

As he turned to leave the shy pony, he was pretty sure he heard her say.... something, he wasn't really sure. Sure enough, when he glanced back at her to make sure, she was standing there with a hoof out in the universal 'hold on' pose. Of course, once he made eye contact with her she retracted her hoof and hid behind her mane again.

“I'm sorry, did you say something?”

She seemed to stop and collect herself for a moment before coming out from behind her mane.... sort of, and said in a much more audible voice, “I wanted to know if you got that fish I left you...”

Realization struck him like lightning. This was... what's-her-face that Dash mentioned! Butterfly... no that wasn't it... erm.... Fluttershy! That was it!

...fitting name.

Before he could stop himself, he asked, “Oh, so you're Fluttershy?”

This caused her to give him a strange look, “How did you...?”

Albus was sure he would be blushing if he could, and amended his blunder with, “Oh, sorry. It's just that Dash said that one of her friends, which is you, I guess, left me that fish yesterday; and I was just anxious to thank you, I really appreciated it. My name is Albus Vires, it's a pleasure to meet you Miss Fluttershy.”

Geez, when did I get so polite?

This seemed to make her come a bit more out of her shell, prompting her to respond with, “Oh, well, it's just that I had seen you while I was out looking for any animals that may have gotten up early from their hibernation, and I... kind of chickened out when I tried to approach you... so I thought that I should at least give you some food if I wasn't going to help you get to town, and I had some left over fish from when I was helping the local wolf pack get food and...”

Blimey, this girl can talk once she gets going...

“...so I asked my friend Rainbow Dash to go and help you, and, um... I guess you would know the rest better than I do...”

Other than the whole 'giving him food' thing, one thing happened to stand out to him through that whole thing.

“Wait... I'm really thankful for the fish and everything, but why exactly were you out looking for animals that woke up too early?” he asked, a perplexed look on his face.

And, for that matter, how close is Spring if animals would be waking up?

She seemed surprised, replying with, “Oh, that's right, I suppose you wouldn't know. I'm Ponyville's resident animal caretaker, which means that I provide food, shelter, and... well, care, for the animals of the forest. I was out looking for early risers because it's really bad for them to wake up too early; they would have nothing to eat if I didn't help them, and I just couldn't bear the thought of a cute little bunny or mole starving because I wasn't there to help them...”

Hmm... pegasi that control the weather, and now a pony that takes care of what should be wild animals. Weird. It's like the natural order of things doesn't exist around here...

Regardless of his confusion, he replied pleasantly with, “Oh, that sounds like a nice job. I don't know if I could do it, though. I don't think woodland creatures would much like being in the presence of a predator like me,” he mused aloud before a thought struck him, “Say, do you happen to have any more fish? I'd be willing to work for them, if you don't plan on using them to feed the wolves again or something.”

Fluttershy seemed alright with the idea, replying with, “Oh, that would be nice. I have some extra that the animals don't need, and all of the carnivores that would normally eat them... well, the eagles and hawks are migratory, the bears are hibernating, the owls don't eat fish, the wolves don't really like me doting on them too much...”

Albus was delighted, “Oh, thank you! Anything you need me to do, just ask! I'm totally in your debt!” he exclaimed, grinning ear to ea-...wait...

Fluttershy bashfully pawed at the ground before saying, “Oh, no, you don't have to do anything, I don't want the fish to go to waste after all, and you need them more than I do...”

“Ah-ah-ah! None of that, Miss Fluttershy. Whether you like it or not, I'm in your debt already for the fish you gave me. I am at your service whenever you need me, at least until I feel my debt is paid. Though, probably even after that, because I'm such a nice guy.” Albus retorted with a wink and a grin.

A blush rocketed across the pegasus' face, “Oh! Well, if you insist... I suppose I could find some work for you if you really feel so adamant about it, but for now follow me and I'll get your fish for you,” the pony said, turning and trotting away.

Falling into step behind her, he took a moment to observe her cutie mark, namely 3 pink butterflies.

'Butterfly' is a more fitting name than I thought, heheh...

During the walk to Fluttershy's house, a rather long walk from the middle of town, mind you, Albus took note of how hard it was to walk with 3 legs when in a quadrupedal form.

At least we aren't flying there, I don't think I could even get off the ground, much less fly when imbalanced like this...

Sure enough, however, they arrived at Fluttershy's house; which quite reminded Albus of a hobbit hole from Lord of the Rings. Except with a lot of birdhouses and rabbit holes and the like. Her abode definitely screamed 'animal caretaker', that's for sure.

Looking around, he commented, “Homey.”

Fluttershy smiled and was about to reply when the first snowflakes started to fall.

Giving a growl and cursing his luck, Albus muttered, “Of all the times to get caught out in the snow, when I have books...”

Fluttershy was quick to put his fears at ease, though, when she said, “Oh, dear. Please, do come inside. This is supposed to be quite a storm, the last of the season, in fact.”

Note to self, last storm of the season, Spring soon...

Albus sighed with relief, “Oh, thank you, Miss Fluttershy, these are the library's books, and I'd really rather they didn't get wet...”

Nodding, she responded with, “Oh, but of course. I couldn't just leave you out here, since you don't have anywhere to stay...”

Oh yeah, I'm still homeless. God, this pony is an angel or something.

“You're a godsend, Fluttershy. I find myself ever more in your debt, heh.” Albus said, though that last part was more to mess with her than anything else.

On her part, Fluttershy looked bemused by the strange expression before flustering over his second proclamation. “Oh! Uh, you don't have to-”

Cutting her off before she hurt herself or something, Albus said, “It's fine, Fluttershy. It's not like I'm offering myself to you as your slave. Just know that I plan on paying you back someday. Also, we might want to head inside before the wind picks up...”

Fluttershy looked a bit embarrassed by his word choice for a moment before realizing they were still outside. “Oh, dear. Yes, we should probably do that, shouldn't we?” she asked rhetorically with a small laugh, before entering her house and gesturing for him to do the same.

Upon entering and closing the door, Albus immediately noticed that the animal caretaker motif, obviously, extended to the inside of the house as well. Placing his books on a small table, he reiterated his opinion of the place.

“Yeah, definitely homey.”

The hobbit-hole-esque house was a very cozy affair, and it was pretty aesthetically pleasing in general, even with the multitudes of birdhouses, mouse holes, perches, etc.

“Oh, thank you. I've put a lot of work into this house to make it as comfortable as possible for the creatures I take care of, but it's nice to know that someone else thinks so...” Fluttershy trailed off for a moment before seeming to remember something, perking up and saying, “Oh! I forgot your fish, I'll be right back.”

Oh, right, the fish. At this thought his stomach gave a gurgle. That sounds good right now, actually. It's a good thing I apparently don't have to cook them, otherwise I-.... wait, I can't eat them in here! I'd get blood all over the place! And I'm not swallowing a fish whole again, that fucking hurt!

At that thought, Fluttershy hovered back into the room, a fish between her front hooves.

Ooh, a salmon... Wait, what?!? The hell did she get a salmon in the middle of Wint-... you know what? Screw it. Not questioning it.

Taking the slimy meal from her, Albus gave a sheepish smile before saying, “Uh, I'm gonna have to go outside to eat this, I'll be right back.”

Before she could protest the thought, he was already opening the door.

And promptly got blasted in the face by an ice-cold gust of frigid wind.

Of course.

Quickly exiting the cottage, he ducked around to the side where the wind would affect him the least and got to work; thankfully having much more success in getting meat than last time.

He tried not to pay attention to the texture of the raw fish meat as he swallowed it, and had surprisingly quickly picked the thing clean of the edible parts (which left pretty much only the bones and digestive tract bits still intact).

Now came the worst part, though.

Wanting to dispose of the fish carcass as quickly as possible, he started digging through the rapidly accumulating snow, freezing his claws numb; and after managing to dig a hole into the frozen dirt somehow, he buried the fish with all due haste, washed the blood and dirt off of himself with some snow, and hurried back inside.

He was totally unprepared for what happened next.

As soon as he was in the cottage, the door slammed shut behind him and he found himself being rather furiously rubbed down with a towel, all the while getting a scolding for going outside.

“...honestly, Albus, if you weren't so well adapted to the cold, than what would you have done? And even with your natural resistance, you're still shivering! You had me worried sick, you know; what if you caught pneumonia? And for that matter...”

Good god, you sound like you're my mom or something...

“Well?”

He found himself snapped out of his thoughts, and locked in a.... Stare. A Stare, worthy of the capital S; it made him feel as if all of his sins were exposed to the world, and feel as if he had nothing to be but ashamed of himself for them.

Oh god, this is scary.

“I, uh- I mean, I didn't, uh-”

He was cut of by Fluttershy sighing.

“Please Albus, take into consideration what ponies around you will feel if you do something rash like that. If gryphons weren't so well equipped to deal with the cold, you could have very easily gotten sick from being in a storm like that one.”

As if on cue, silenced reigned for a moment, letting the howling wind and rattling shutters make their presences known.

Her look was one of concern, if a bit of annoyance, and the gryphon couldn't really think of a way to reply to what she said, other than, “I'm sorry, Fluttershy.”

This seemed to work, however, as he was led to a lit hearth by the small yellow pegasus, a small smile on her face. “Good. Now you just warm up here by the fire, and I'll get a blanket for you. Would you like some tea?”

Giving a small smile of his own, Albus sat by the fire and respectfully declined the offer as Fluttershy went off to some other portion of the cottage.

Laying down and curling up, Albus relished the exquisite warmth of the fire, thinking of how the day was technically only a few hours in, yet had been so tiring already.

Actually, I feel a bit... sleepy...

By the time Fluttershy had returned with the promised blanket, Ponyville's newest arrival was already out like a light.

Author's Note

How's my dri-, err, writing? Leave a comment!

On another note, Exasperated Mother Fluttershy works incredibly well in my mind, I'm not sure why.

Generosity and Affirmation

There was only one word that Albus could think upon waking up, and that word was:

Bathroom.

Groggily opening his eyes, he stood up and stretched, yawning loudly, noticing somewhere in the back of his mind that the blanket he was just under was now on the floor.

Ugh... where's the bathroom? Do ponies even have bathrooms?

He was about to call out to ask Fluttershy, but he noticed two things:

One: Fluttershy was in the kitchen, apparently making something, given the sounds emanating from the direction of said facility.

Two: She was apparently using a sink.

This answered a few things for him, such as where Fluttershy was, what she was doing, and that ponies had indoor plumbing.

Though that last one was a bit more important at the moment.

Figuring that his host was doing something, and not wanting to disturb her, Albus decided to find it on his own; after all, there was the entrance room... den... place, the kitchen, and then upstairs. Not too hard.

Walking up the aforementioned stairs, Albus was pleased to find that the first door that he opened was indeed the bathroom; he was even more pleased by the fact that there was indeed a toilet in said bathroom.

He also noted that it was less of a toilet, and more of a... hole in the floor.

More accurately, it was essentially the same thing as a toilet in, say, America, but the bowl was inset into the floor, the tank in the usual spot right behind it.

After concluding his business in the bathroom which we needn't go into detail about (suffice to say it was awkward), Albus began reflecting upon his situation, as he seems wont to do.

It was awfully kind of Fluttershy to invite me in, even though I damn near pissed myself when she... Stared into my soul... He took this moment to give a horrified shudder.

Various unpleasantries aside, these ponies are... really nice, for the most part. It's odd, but I suppose I can't expect them to act like humans, even though they speak English, and apparently have the same range of emotions, and speak in the same way, barring those insufferable horse puns, and.... okay, the similarities are a bit creepy, now that I think about it.

Deciding not to question his good fortune overmuch, lest it run out, he changed his train of thought.

I suppose it's a bit of a moot point to ask how exactly I got here. I don't have any real reasons to believe any particular theory; other than that this might be some sort of afterlife. I mean, I should probably be dead, so yeah, I suppose that makes sense. A little. Well, at least as much as magic does.

Which is to say: Not at all.

Before he could continue philosophizing, he happened to notice his books still resting on the small table he had set them, waiting patiently for his return.

Hmm... might as well get some reading done, I don't have much else to do right now.

Which wasn't strictly true, but it got him reading.

Picking up the book titled, “A Brief History of the Kingdom of Equestria”, Albus began to read up on his new home, of sorts.

Since reading about someone else reading is, surprisingly, extraordinarily boring, the gist of what Albus was able to read is as follows:

Princess Luna, princess of the moon (Whatever that means), becomes corrupted by jealousy and anger because ponies are sleeping during the night (When else would they sleep?); she then becomes a being known as Nightmare Moon, and attempts to overthrow Princess Celestia, princess of the Sun (The sun and moon motifs feel like some kind of ploy to get them to worship their rulers as gods, or something...). They fight a bit, then Celestia banishes Luna to the moon for a thousand years with the 'Elements of Harmony'.

Before continuing, the book branched off in a chapter explaining the second rise of Nightmare Moon one thousand years later, before being purified by the new bearers of the Elements of Harmony, and being welcomed back by Princess Celestia. It also went into detail about how the story of the 'Mare on the Moon' was thought to simply be an 'Old Mare's Tale' for a long time, but was proven to be fact by the aforementioned event.

Albus skimmed through the rest of the book, which was as boring as one would expect given the fact that pretty much nothing of interest happened between a thousand years ago and the present, and put it back onto the table.

Okay then. Apparently this place actually does have immortal ponies on the throne. Or the same name and title is passed down to each new ruler... but that wouldn't make much sense, given that one of them survived a thousand years on the moon. This place boggles my mind. I'm just not going to think about it anymore, it's not like I plan on meeting the royalty anytime soon.

And what exactly are the Elements of Harmony? For playing such an instrumental part in the Nightmare Moon incidents, they seem awfully obscure.

Shrugging, he picked up the next book, “The Dummy's Guide to Gryphon Physiology”, he began to skim through that for things he didn't already know.

The most noteworthy things he learned were as such:

Gryphons could stand on and manipulate clouds, much like pegasi, but their ability to do the latter was pretty limited. This was due to the fact that their magic focused more on giving them the ability to fly and physical strength, endurance, etc.

The second thing he learned was that male gryphons all had feathered crests upon their head, much like his own, and the size and general flashiness was once upon a time used for attracting mates, and was now used for... pretty much the same thing. Though more by influencing social standing than being attractive, nowadays.

The third, and last socially appropriate, thing of note he learned was that gryphons generally had markings around their eyes, which essentially had the same effect as the crest; though it was considered more of a fashion thing in modern times. He idly noted that he didn't have those, what with the whole 'lack of pigmentation' deal.

Of course, he, in typical male curiosity, looked up tidbits about his junk, but that's less important.

As he was about to continue his reading with “A Guide to Equestrian Anatomy”, a soft call came from the kitchen.

“Albus? Dinner is ready.”

Oh, yeah. This is Fluttershy's house, isn't it? Wait, dinner? She made me food? This woma-... uh... mare, is amazing.

Setting down his reading material, he was let known of his stomach's annoyance with him sleeping through lunch with an angry growl.

“Your timing is impeccable as always, Fluttershy,” he called back whilst heading into the kitchen. The first thing he noticed was the veritable feast laid out on the small-ish table decorating the room; in which was two trout, cooked to perfection and still sizzling a little. If he could smell worth a damn he would probably be drooling.

“Oh my,” he said, dumbfounded.

Fluttershy appeared in his vision from somewhere to his right, carrying two plates in her mouth. Upon setting them down in the proper places, she asked, “Do you like it? I don't know what you can and can't eat out of my normal fare, so I made a bit of... well, everything, I guess. I also figured eating fish raw would be a bit unpleasant, so I went ahead and deboned and scaled and....” giving a small shudder, she continued with, “Gutted them. And then I roasted and seasoned them a bit...” she trailed off, eagerly awaiting her guest's feedback.*

Realizing he was still gaping like an idiot, Albus snapped his beak shut with an audible *click*, and articulated his response for a moment before replying with, “Oh, I love it! I'm sure I can eat pretty much everything here but the...” he trailed off for a moment, analyzing the food and visually picking out things he knew would be inedible, before carrying on with, “Various grasses and flowers.”

Turning to her and giving a wide smile, Albus made his other thoughts known with, “I can't thank you enough for this, Fluttershy. Really,” seeing she was about to smother his praise with modesty, he prevented her by continuing, “And not just for the food, though that's still very appreciated. Letting me, a complete stranger who smashed into you on the street, stay in your house... well, suffice to say I'm thanking my lucky stars that you're such a gracious host. Words cannot properly express, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy had been, quite noticeably, turning a deeper shade of red with every second of praise and gratitude Albus bestowed upon her; in fact, by the time he was done she was doing a passable impression of a ripe tomato.

“Oh, uh- Well, I mean...” she stuttered, unsure of how to reply.

“Don't hurt yourself, Fluttershy. How about we just eat?”

Nodding silently, and still a shade of red, Fluttershy turned to take her place at the table.

Not much conversation was to be had past that point, except Fluttershy explaining why exactly she had made so much food after Albus asked.

“Well, as flying creatures, pegasus ponies and gryphons both have very fast metabolisms. Of course, that means that both species have rather... voracious appetites.”

And it was true, the mound of food was disappearing fast between the two 'voracious' diners.

Glancing up from his food at one point during the meal, Albus could only think, Damn, this girl can pack it away; she's eating almost as much as I am! I'm like twice her size!

After the spectacle that was the two of them eating twice their body-weights combined, they sat in silence for a moment before the achromatic gryphon of the story commented, “I don't have much of a sense of taste, but I'm sure that was absolutely delicious.”

Fluttershy gave a small laugh at his statement before saying, “I can assure you it was, Albus. Not to be immodest or anything.”

He could only give a derisive snort at that, “You? Fluttershy? Immodest? I don't think that's even a trait possible for you.”

He stood and stretched his characteristic cat-on-the-windowsill stretch before asking, “Want any help with the dishes? And before you say anything about being a good host, consider it me trying to start paying you back for imposing upon your generosity.”

Fluttershy looked like she was about to protest, but sighed in resignation, “Oh, I suppose if you insist. I suppose there's no convincing you otherwise?”

Well, maybe if you ripped out another portion of my soul with your Stare, he thought, but the only response he gave was a shake of his head.

“Oh alright,” Fluttershy said, sounding about as close to exasperated as she could normally get (which is to say barely at all), “I suppose I should enjoy the novelty of a helper while it lasts, hmm?”

With that, she scooped up a pile of plates on her wing and took it to the sink. Albus admired her dexterity for a moment before moving to help her.

After an indeterminable amount of time washing the nigh infinitude of dishes that had accumulated during their dinnertime feast, and, surprisingly enough, none of them being broken, the duo settled in the den of the cottage.

The usual smalltalk was absent as Albus resumed his reading on the couch and Fluttershy went upstairs to do... something or another.

Sparing the reader the boring parts, Albus found out many new things about the ponies of this land from his borrowed book. Some less appropriate than others.

For example, he discovered that a pony's fur was, in fact, completely transparent; and it was indeed their skin that was so brightly colored. It also explained how you could see them blush even through their coat, something that had previously perplexed the gryphon.

Another thing was that while a unicorn's horn was normally mostly dead to feeling, whilst channeling magic through it it became an erogenous zone. The same was true for the base of pegasus wings, though with those the sensitivity applied all the time.

He was cursing his curiosity of sexual matters by the time he declared himself done with the book.

Totally didn't need to know how a female pony's estrus cycle worked. Why am I still reading this?

Snapping the book shut, he gave a loud yawn, indicating that, once again, he was tired.

What? That's not right... what time is it?

Glancing at the clock upon the wall (and trying not to think of how improbable it was that a completely different planet would have a 24 hour day like Earth), he was surprised to see that it was almost 10 o'clock; upon glancing out a window, he saw that it was indeed quite dark out.

Frowning, he mentally berated himself a bit for letting time get away from him like it had, and set his book of equine anatomy back with its fellows.

Giving another yawn, he went upstairs for two reasons; to check if Fluttershy was still awake, and to use the bathroom. Though more the latter, unsurprisingly.

After confirming that Fluttershy was in all likelihood asleep, given the fact that all the doors were closed and none had light coming from under them, he did his business and returned to his temporary quarters.

After getting settled in the blanket that Fluttershy had, at some point in the day, found the time to fold and place upon the couch, Albus began to drift asleep. As oblivion was slowly making its way into his mind, he could only think, Today has been pretty good, all things consi-

* KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK *

Of course.

Stumbling his way to the door, a sleepy Albus was greeted by the sight of a distraught and surprised Rainbow Dash.

“Wha...?” was all he could say before she suddenly let out an explosive sigh of relief and started talking in a manner much like a certain pink party pony.

“Oh thank Celestia I found you I mean I was so worried about the storm today and getting it right that I totally forgot that you didn't have a place to stay and I got so freaked out when I realized that you were probably stuck out for the whole storm and I couldn't look for you because-”

“Oh, Rainbow, what are you doing here?” a soft voice interrupted her tirade, leaving Dash to give a dramatic gasp for breath.

Albus moved aside in order to get out of the figurative verbal crossfire before Rainbow Dash said, “Oh, hey Fluttershy. I was just checking to see if Grumpy Beak here had found a place to say during the storm and the like,” she paused before asking 'Grumpy Beak', “You did make it here before the storm, right?”

Giving a grimace at the name, Albus responded with, “Yes, Dash. Fluttershy was kind enough to let me into her home for... the night, I guess. And give me breakfast. And cook me dinner...” he trailed off, frowning as he began to think of how much he was in Fluttershy's debt.

“Oh, it was not a problem at all, I assure you,” Albus gave Fluttershy a look, which she tactfully ignored, before she continued with, “I couldn't just leave you out there with nowhere to go, after all. What kind of pony would do something like that?”

Dash nodded in seeming agreement, but Albus could only think, No pony would do that, sure; what with their whole 'decent beings' thing going on. Humans, on the other hand... It's funny how these ponies are more 'humane' than the actual humans...

“Well, now that that anxiety attack is over with, I suppose I'll be heading back home. See you two around!”

And with that, Dash was off like a shot, leaving her trademark rainbow contrail that was visible for a good half second before Albus closed the door again.

Turning back to look at his host, he noted that she looked a bit... disheveled. Normally immaculate mane a bit frizzy, eyes that were just noticeably drooping, the whole shebang.

Barely stopping himself from blurting out 'You look like hell warmed over', Albus queried, “Did we wake you up?”

Shaking her head, Fluttershy replied, “Not really. I wasn't actually asleep, just... half asleep.”

“Yeah, same with me. Just about to fall asleep and then suddenly Dash is pounding down the door.” Albus said with a small chuckle.

Giving a tired smile and a small yawn, Fluttershy declared the day over with, “Good night, Albus. Sleep well,” before walking back upstairs.

Giving a nod that he knew she wouldn't see, Albus trudged back to the couch, glancing at the door for a moment before settling back into his 'bed' for the night.

This place is so strange. Welcoming a stranger into your home, cooking them food. Making friends with people you were having a yelling match with just that morning... These ponies are strange. Alien. I can't hold them to human standards, I know, but... I don't know. I guess having over a thousand years of nigh interrupted peace will make a culture less xenophobic than mine is.

No, was. I suppose I'm not really a human anymore. Well, that's not entirely true either, my mind is the same as when I was a human... I think. I suppose it comes down to what I identify as...

Do I want to think of myself as a human anymore? Humans are flawed, yes, but I suppose its in our nature to be violent. Predators, and all that. On that note, gryphons could very well be just as warlike as humans are. I don't know anymore... It's too late for this kind of crap.

I'm a gryphon now, that's what it is, that's what it will remain to be. Given the chance to go back... I don't think I would.

The former human slipped into unconsciousness, still convincing himself of his identity.

Author's Note

My modest attempts at self-conflict seem a bit... underwhelming. My only excuse for this is that I can't really see myself as having the biggest problem in the world relinquishing my humanity if the concept no longer really applied; and if you couldn't tell Albus is a slight representation of myself. Not to the point where it's a self-insert, but yeah.

*HINT HINT

Embarrassments and Adolescents

There is a certain point of consciousness that many people experience in the lengthy process of waking up from a comfortable rest; what many would call 'half asleep'. It is in this state that one does not so much think as much as they simply are.

We join Albus in this state of mind, quite content to simply laze in his impromptu bed. It was the first surface moderately acceptable for sleeping that he had rested upon for days, so he was very unwilling to give up his momentary comfort.

In fact, the only reason he was even slightly awake at the moment was because of some commotion a few minutes ago, but that had died down. At least, so he thought.

Soon enough, his comfortable rest was being disturbed by something poking him; as well as some kind of noise that he was too dead to the world to comprehend the meaning of at the moment.

In an attempt to stop the uncomfortable sensations, he reached out in front of him, and, upon feeling something, pulled that something into his arms and curled up around it.

He then registered some kind of squeaking noise, another noise somewhat akin to *FWOMPH*, and something poking him. Again. Though this time it was much more static, something stiff was poking him in the stomach.

His sleep addled brain decided to ignore it in favor of something much better; specifically the fact that whatever he had grabbed was warm and soft.

Giving a strange low growling noise that wasn't quite purring, the gryphon cuddled more into his new sleeping pal and once again acted upon instincts that he didn't have before.

Namely, he started grooming whatever he was holding. With his tongue. Like a cat.

Apparently the feeling of his barbed tongue was too much for whatever he was holding; as it started making strange squeaky noises and began squirming about, attempting to get out of his embrace.

The sound of incredibly loud laughter jostled him awake, and he blearily attempted to comprehend the situation as he lost his grip on what he now registered as a pink and yellow blur. As he blinked to try and focus his eyes, the blur quickly bolted upstairs, soon followed by the sound of running water.

“Gee, Alby, didn't know ya liked her like that! Bahahahahahah!” said the laughing voice.

“Wha's huh...?” was his incredibly articulate and intelligent reply.

That seemed to just make the voice laugh even harder, and after shaking his head roughly, he opened his eyes to see Rainbow Dash rolling on Fluttershy's floor in laughter.

He could only ask, “...What just happened?”

After settling down, though still giving into bouts of giggles every once in a while, Dash explained how she had come over to check up on him. After being invited inside by Fluttershy, they had attempted to wake him up. Or, at least, Fluttershy did. And that's when things got awkward.

If his feathers were transparent like a pony's fur, Albus' face would have been bright red.

“So you're saying I...?”

“Yup.”

“Oh wow...” he held his face in his claws, and noted the sound of running water had stopped sometime during their conversation.

“Hey, look at it this way; I guess I was wrong about her not being interested!”

This statement confused him to no end, so he simply asked, “What?”

“Oh, you didn't notice? I won't spoil it for you, then,” Rainbow Dash replied slyly, giving him a wink before continuing with, “I'll give you a hint, did you notice something poking you?”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with-” he was cut off by a soft harrumph coming from the direction of the stairs.

Turning to get a look at his hostess, he noticed that she was still a little bit wet, and... shivering a bit.

“Are you alright Flutter-” he began before getting cut off by her again with, “Yes, I'm fine. Nothing's wrong.”

Rainbow seemingly couldn't pass up the opportunity to jab at her with, “Water cold enough for ya, Fluttershy?”

Suddenly, the yellow pony's face miraculously shifted colors to bright red, before oh-so-tactfully stuttering, “I, uh... I mean, I didn't- I think-”

Wanting to save her any more embarrassment than he knew he had already caused her, Albus quickly took over with, “So, Dash. Any particular reason for this visit? Or are my masculine wiles just too much for you to resist?”

Thankfully for her, Albus didn't notice Fluttershy's face turn an even deeper shade of red.

Seemingly willing to drop the teasing, for now at least, Rainbow gave a snort at his 'masculine wiles' and retorted with, “Sorry buddy, but you're not that lucky. I just wanted to make sure everything was still peachy; plus it's too cold out to nap on a cloud, so there's that too.”

“Nice to know that under ordinary circumstances napping on a cloud is higher on your list of priorities than knowing that I'm alright,” Albus quipped, giving a derisive snort of his own.

Before Dash could reply to that, Fluttershy interjected with, “Doesn't the weather team need your help to clear up the leftover clouds from the storm, Dash?”

Giving a start, Dash facehooved and rushed to the door, tossing out a, “Thanks for reminding me!” before hastily exiting the cottage.

After an awkward pause, Albus turned to the owner of the house and started with, “So, uh... Fluttershy...” before trailing off.

“Can, uh... Can we please just not talk about that for now?” the pegasus pleaded, still doing a rather impressive job of keeping her blood flushed to her face.

“Sure thing,” he answered, eager to get away from that train of thought, trying to think of something to do.

Fluttershy seemed quite relieved to no longer be focusing on the awkwardness of her wake up call, and began walking towards the kitchen, saying, “Breakfast will be ready soon, make yourself comfortable.”

After being denied the opportunity to help her make the food – “That's quite fine, Albus. I can handle this myself,” she had said – the gryphon found himself staring at “A Guide to Equestrian Anatomy” once more. More specifically, the section on pegasi. Pegasus wings, to be even more exact.

“...stimulation of the wings or extreme excitement may lead to the wings becoming stiff, and the muscles locking up. This phenomenon is commonly known as 'wing erection'; note that this happens most often when a pegasus is sexually stimulated or otherwise aroused, and can lead to...”

...I gave Fluttershy a wingboner. Of course. I don't know whether to be grossed out or flattered.

On one hand, it was kind of gross that he had handled her in a manner that had effectively given her... well, a wingboner. On the other hand, it was really the first time he had had any real success in... sexually arousing a member of the opposite sex. Granted, she was another species, but... he wasn't exactly human anymore.

I am what I identify as. Do I see Fluttershy like that? I... I don't know. Not really. She's obviously not 'just an animal', but... she's still a pony. I suppose if I ever got into a relationship here it would be based more on personality than looks, seeing as how most of the ponies just look kinda... weird to me. Seriously, those eyes bug me.

Regardless. I keep saying that I can't hold these ponies to human standards; but I'm not even a human myself! At least, not anymore. Whatever. I suppose if the opportunity arose... I'd have to see. The circumstances would dictate my reaction, I guess.

Just roll with it, yeah.

Soon after this assertion of his plans, he heard the voice of his generous hostess call out from the kitchen, “Albus, it's time to eat.”

How could I refuse?

Ever eager to prevent feeling as hungry as he had just two days ago, the snow white gryphon meandered into the kitchen. Upon doing this, he saw a much more modest meal than the great assortment of foods that was last night's dinner. Of course, there was still fish, so he didn't really mind as long as he could eat something.

“Looks good as always, Fluttershy,” he commented, chuckling, “You spoil me, girl.”

Smiling at his praise, the homely pony replied, “Thank you, Albus. It's always nice to know that your efforts go appreciated, hmm?”

Giving a nod at this, Albus was about to respond when he noticed something on the table. A certain opaque, white liquid, sitting unsuspectingly in a cup. Two cups, to be exact, meaning that there was one for him.

Hmm...

The reason he had noticed this was his reading. You see, gryphons, being birdlike in nature, gave birth through eggs. Because of this, female gryphons did not, in fact, have mammary glands; meaning that a gryphon egret did not nurse on its mother's milk.

An interesting fact is that most humans, barring lactose intolerant ones, are only able to drink milk because of two factors: Their mammalian nature and a chance genetic mutation that happened to become widespread.

Albus, being a gryphon, only had about half of the 'being a mammal' going for him, and none of the mutation.

And yet, even though he knew all of this, why was he about to try what he was about to try? The answer is a simple one, and anyone who has difficulty comprehending the behavior of men should pay attention right now:

Because he's a guy. And guys are stupid.

Seeing her guest staring at the glass of milk, Fluttershy queried, “Is something wrong, Albus?”

Giving a 'Hmm' in thought, Albus said, “Just a moment, I want to try something...” before walking over to one of the glasses, picking it up, and downing it.

Fluttershy seemed confused for a moment before she seemed to realize something, and shocked horror dawned on her face when she realized what had just happened.

Albus, for his part, was mulling over the rather horrible taste of the milk – tangible even through his deadened sense of smell – and was grimacing when suddenly his stomach gurgled. And not in a good way.

That was quick. Oh god.

Eyes widening, he could only shout one thing before he clamped his beak shut and ran for the bathroom, “Fire in the hole!”

Weaving around Fluttershy with surprising grace, the gryphon darted upstairs, bolting into the bathroom and quickly lifting the lid of the toilet.

Fluttershy winced as the horrifically loud sounds of Albus' retching filled the air of the cottage.

After establishing that his stomach had nothing left to give, a fact made known by some five minutes of dry heaving, Albus slumped to the floor, thankfully clean of any bile... or 'spilled milk'.

“Are you alright, Albus?” Fluttershy's concerned query came from the doorway.

Albus let out a rather pathetic groan; quite unfitting for a regal beast of his size, really.

He felt arms wrap around his neck, his chest and shoulders being much too broad, as Fluttershy gave him a tentative hug, “Oh I'm so sorry, I should have remembered that gryphons can't drink milk like ponies can! If I hadn't been so inattentive none of this would have happened and-”

Albus cut her off, saying, “It wasn't your fault, Fluttershy, and any insisting to the contrary isn't going to fly with me. I knew perfectly well what I was doing, I just did it for... future reference, if you will.”

He felt a hoof lightly bop him in the back of the head before Fluttershy muttered into the scruff of his neck, “Well don't do it again. I don't like it when my friends are sick...”

Suddenly, she gave a gasp and practically threw herself off of him, stuttering all the while, “Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I mean- I shouldn't have, that-”

Picking himself up, Albus simply rested a claw on her small snout, prompting her to give a small squeak and stop talking.

“Stop doing that. It's not like I'm going to be mad at you for hugging me; you can get away with much more than you think, especially if you think I apparently detest comfort.” he calmly stated, looking her straight in the eye. After removing his claw, Fluttershy blinked a bit and nodded, apparently not knowing what to say.

“Now, how about you go downstairs and eat your breakfast before it gets cold or something? I'll be right down to join you,” he paused, making a somewhat disgusted face, “Just as soon as I wash my beak of any.... milk.”

Fluttershy gave a small start, saying, “Oh! Right, the food...” before quickly returning downstairs.

Shaking his head at his friend-... yes, friend's somewhat odd behavior, Albus set about scouring his beak of any putrid residue left by his latest inverse bowel movement.

Upon finishing that, the gryphon meandered back downstairs and into the kitchen, muddling over how much he hated milk now.

Walking into the designated dining are of the house, Albus noticed Fluttershy muttering something to herself, playing with her food a bit disinterestedly.

“Hey 'Shy,” he greeted, taking his spot at the table, hoping that his stomach had settled enough to actually eat.

She looked up at him, staring at him for a moment with a strange expression before returning to her regular self; which means fussing over her guest.

“Are you sure you can eat right now, Albus? I wouldn't want you to have to go through...” she paused and glanced at her milk, “That again.”

Albus simply shrugged.

And with that, the pair began and finished their meal in quiet companionship.

In fact, the two of them stayed silent throughout washing the dishes as well. And even after that chore was done, they still didn't say anything.

Albus found it to be stifling.

As they sat quietly in the den, Albus turned to Fluttershy, and found that she was looking at him as well, seemingly about to say something.

“Al-”

And that was as far as she got before someone knocked loudly on the door.

Both of them jumped in their seats, unprepared for the sudden noise. Fluttershy quickly recovered from her initial shock and suddenly had a look of realization on her face.

“Oh dear, I keep forgetting things today... I can't believe I didn't remember...” she said, walking to the door.

He got out of his seat and began walking towards the door as well, but before Albus could voice his question of what exactly she had forgotten, Fluttershy had opened the door and said, “It's good to see you, Rarity. I had almost forgotten I had promised to take care of the girls today.”

Rarity? Didn't I meet he-

His thoughts were rudely interrupted by a large, multicolored blur racing into the house with the sound of many clopping hooves on wood.

“What the-” was all he could get out before three small ponies materialized where the blur once was immediately in front of him.

“Woooooooow,” they said in sync, having to look almost straight up to see his face from their place at his claws.

Taking in their appearance, Albus noted once more that ponies had very odd color schemes. For example, an orange pony with a purple mane and tail. Or a caramel-ish pony with a red mane and tail. Or a white one with a kind of swirl of pink and purple. These odd examples were, unsurprisingly, the trio of puny ponies parked patiently by his forelegs.

“Oh! Fluttershy, dear, you didn't tell me you had company over!” came a familiar posh voice from the doorway, “You never struck me as the type to have a coltfriend in secret.” the voice teased the shy pony.

Before the now red and very flustered Fluttershy could dig herself further into that hole, Albus quickly called out, “Not a colt, Miss Rarity.”

“Hmm? I've heard that voice somewhere, I know it...” he could hear Rarity say, and upon being invited in by the yellow pegasus of the house, the lady in question gazed upon Albus for the second time.

“Oh! How could I ever forget the absolute gentlefowl I met just a short while ago? It's a pleasure to see you again, Mr. Vires,” Rarity said, much to Fluttershy's confusion.

“You two have met before?” she asked, embarrassment forgotten.

“Mmn, yes, but only briefly. And under less... fortunate circumstances, I'm afraid.” Albus answered, frowning a bit at the memory.

Rarity nodded and seemed to be about to comment on this when she happened to gaze at the clock, and gasped, “Oh, drat! I'm terribly sorry to run out on you like this, dears, but I simply must be going! I have a terribly important client from Canterlot visiting in an hour, and everything must be just so!” she said hurriedly, throwing out a “Ta ta!” over her shoulder as she closed the door behind her.

Hearing a yawn coming from the general vicinity of the floor, Albus looked down and saw the three... fillies, yeah, that was it, looking quite bored.

To be honest, I totally forgot about you three. Uh... oops.

Seizing the opportunity to make a, hopefully, good impression on the young ponies, he cleared his throat and said to them, “Sorry about that. Boring adult stuff and all that. Anyway, the name's Albus; who might you three be?”

That seemed to work, as immediately the triplet perked up, with, “Call me Scootaloo!” “Mah name's Apple Bloom!” and “I'm Sweetie Belle!” coming from the orange, caramel... yellow... whatever, and white one respectively.

“And together we're...” Scootaloo added, pausing for dramatic effect, “THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” they blasted in stereo, making both of the adults in the room cringe a bit, and actually knocking Albus onto his haunches.

I think my ears are bleeding. Or... ear hole things. Whatever they're called.

Before he could get the chance to reply, they immediately started bombarding him with questions. Well, sort of, they kind of just... went on.

It went something like this:

“So what exactly are you, mister?”

“Don't be a dunderhead, Sweetie, he's a gryphon!”

“How'd ya know that?”

“Dash told me about how she had a gryphon friend once, duh!”

“So what do ya do for a livin', Mister Gryphon?”

“Oh! I bet he's some kind of cool adventurer!”

“No, I bet he's in the Royal Guard in Canterlot!”

“Can gryphons get into the Royal Guard?”

“Ah dunno, maybe we could ask Twilight.”

“Hey, how come you're all white like that?”

Of course, the entire time, the three children were running about, forming a weird kind of stampede circle around the gryphon. And Albus would have been fine replying, but there was one problem.

STOP STEPPING ON MY T- OW! TAIL!

I'm sure you can infer what was happening.

The albino was having a very difficult time keeping his beak shut and not mauling the innocent ponies, but it was getting exponentially harder with every time they smashed his tail underneath their incredibly hard hooves. He would have stopped them earlier, but he feared that if he attempted to talk he would only scream out the horrible noise that was slowly building in his throat – which would have sounded like a low, snarling growl had the CMC not been overriding all noise in the room –; and if he tried moving to stop them physically he would probably use a bit more claw than necessary.

Fluttershy, of course, was trying to settle them down the entire time, but her meek voice was getting drowned out by the excited fillies' rabble.

Just as he was about to snap from his tail getting stomped on for the hundredth time in quick succession, a commanding voice suddenly shouted out, “Enough!”

Everyone in the room jumped, bar the one who shouted, and Albus' snarl became a pained yelp as Apple Bloom tripped and landed on his tail, again.

The room was suddenly silent as everyone turned to see a rather angry and, somehow even worse, disappointed looking Fluttershy.

Oh dear god in heaven please don't Stare at me again.

Thankfully for Albus, the yellow pegasus' soul-wrenching Stare was directed not at him, but at the unwittingly guilty fillies.

“Apple Bloom, please get off of my tail...” Albus said in a tight voice, wanting to get her moving before she was too paralyzed in fear.

Thankfully, she complied, and Fluttershy picked it up from there, “I'm disappointed in you three,” she began, no longer using a loud or angered voice, but instead quite calm and... well, horribly disappointed. It was that tone of voice that a parent uses when they don't get angry at you, but somehow it would be better if they did.

“I gather that you don't realize what exactly was happening to make me so disappointed?” she continued matronly, the tiny ponies only shaking their heads uniformly as a reply.

“You were stepping on my tail. A lot.” Albus interjected dryly. With that, Fluttershy's Stare seemed to give an unvoiced command to the three, and they all flinched visibly before saying, “We're sorry Mr. Albus...” in unison.

Feeling that their punishment, and it was certainly a punishment, had gone on long enough, Albus sighed and said, “Apology accepted, girls. Just don't let it happen again.”

When they all nodded eagerly, Fluttershy quickly reverted to her normal calm self – as opposed to her disturbingly calm self – and ushered the Crusaders outside to play before sighing tiredly.

Walking towards the door, and by extension Fluttershy, he placed a claw on her shoulder and said, “Thanks for that, Fluttershy. But I think I'm going to stop imposing on your hospitality for a while, now,” the pink maned pony looked like she was about to protest, but was silenced by a look from Albus, “I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me, but the sooner I fly the coop the better; I can't become too reliant on you, now can I?”

He had said that last bit in a lighthearted manner, but Fluttershy still frowned a bit.

However, instead of saying anything against his course of action, she sighed again and said, “Alright, Albus. Just know that I'll be here to help if you need it; I don't want to hear about you sleeping in a tree or something, do I make myself clear?”

Well, I already did that, but okay.

Nodding, he simply said, “I'll keep that in mind, 'Shy,” before removing his claw and exiting the cottage.

Someone cleared the path... Huh. Guess that makes my life easier.

And indeed, someone had cleared the path between Ponyville proper and the humble home of the town's premier animal caretaker quite thoroughly.

Beginning the walk between the two locations, he noticed Sweetie Belle waving at him from his right, her head barely above snow level. Waving back, he saw the humorous spectacle of the other two Crusaders beaning her in the back of the head with snowballs while she was distracted.

Chuckling to himself, he continued his miniature journey while noting the following fact:

Even after all that's happened today, it's still only 11 o'clock. This town is insane.

Author's Note

Alliteration, yay! Also, possible FlutterVires romance? I dunno. Probably not.

For all the Rarity fans reading this:

Please don't think I keep making Rarity leave because I don't like her or something, because I do, it's just that there's going to be a more appropriate time when they can sit down and chat. It will come with the flow of the story; and all of the mane 6 will play major parts in Albus' life in Equestria; so don't worry about Pinkie or AJ either. Just act like our cool gryphon protagonist and go with the flow for now.

Thoughts, everypony?

Quality Confections and High Expectations

The walk progressed quickly, and soon Albus was wandering the snow covered streets of Ponyville square. Despite the frigid atmosphere, ponies were out and about everywhere; especially enterprising entrepreneurs.

Hot chocolate, coffee and pastries, oh my.

Numerous stands and stalls were cashing in on the cold weather, selling various warm confections and the like. Everywhere he went the sounds of sales pitching ponies seemed to follow him, creating a cacophony of voices wherever he went.

It was a good thing he had a poor sense of smell, or the sheer amount of enticing scents may have driven him to attempt and spend money he didn't have.

Stopping for a moment beside a rather stylish wooden cart, Albus extracted himself from the hustle and bustle of the seemingly growing throng of ponies. Sitting next to the cart, the gryphon barely even got half of a look from the orange mare running it; she seemed much more fixated on selling various apple pastries and piping hot apple cider.

Whilst before the smells of the various delicious fares strewn about the square had not really affected him, sitting next to the cart was more than enough to get even his dulled sniffer's attention.

Mmm... was the only relatively coherent thought he could form at the moment, being caught up in the novelty of being able to smell something nice again.

This did not, however, keep him from noticing the fact that the orange mare was now talking at him.

“Y’all got a mighty fine nose fer' quality there, Mister,” she said.

“Mmn, the irony of that statement is quite rich, ma'am,” he replied, giving a small chuckle, “But I find myself in agreement with you. This is quality fare you have here.”

Taking the compliment with a wide smile, the pony boasted, “Best apples in Equestria! Grown right outside'a Ponyville, too; which is why we can afford ta' sell 'em for so cheap, an' all.”

That's a sales pitch if I've ever heard one. Too bad I can't afford even her 'cheap' prices.

Actually taking the time to look at the mare for the first time, he noted vaguely that she looked a bit like Apple Bloom. Same accent, too... Hmm...

More specifically, she possessed a healthy orange coat, and sported a blond mane – funnily enough tied into a ponytail – and tail – also tied at the end –. Her eyes were a striking green, and she had three white... freckles on each cheek. Another trio adorned her flank, though this one was of apples, not strange white pony-freckles. Oh, and she was wearing a hat; an awesome cowboy hat.

Only hat more awesome than that hat is a fedora.

Giving her an amiable smile, Albus responded to her pitch with, “I'm sure, local food is always the best anyway. Unfortunately for us both, I'm a bit... hard up for cash at the moment, so I don't think I'll be able to buy anything from you,” he paused for a moment before adding, “Unless you accept services for goods, of course,” as an afterthought.

Giving a shake of her head, the pony said, “No can do, pardner; bad for business.”

She did, however, stop for a moment and then say, “But, Ah'll tell ya' what. Since you're obviously new 'round these parts, I'll give y'all a sample, on the house.”

Before he could even reply, there was a warm apple fritter sitting atop the orange earth pony's outstretched hoof.

Albus considered protesting for a moment, but... free food. And it looked pretty good, at that. So, of course, he took the apple based pastry in his claw and said, “Well, thank you miss...”

“Call me Applejack,” she finished for him.

Giving a mischievous grin, Albus continued his thanks with, “Well, then, thank you Miss 'Call me Applejack',” she rolled her eyes at that, but didn't say anything, “My name is Albus; Albus Vires. It's a pleasure.”

He then attempted to hold his claw out for a shake, but forgot two things; that he was holding the fritter with one talon already and that he was no longer bipedal.

The result was him floundering for a moment before landing chin-first on the ground; with a byproduct of Applejack trying and failing to contain her laughter.

Pushing himself up into a standing position, he gave a slightly-less-than-amused chuckle and said, “Yeah, yeah, yuck it up.”

Once Applejack had ceased laughing at his expense, the gryphon clamped his fritter in his beak and held out his claw again, thankfully not greeting the ground with his face again.

Applejack seemed slightly perplexed at this gesture before apparently getting the gist of it and sticking out her hoof as well. Albus noted the barely perceptible tilt of her head as he grasped her hoof and shook it up and down, giving a muffled, “Nife to mee oo,” from behind the pastry in his mouth.

After the apparently foreign gesture, Applejack opened her mouth to speak, but seemed to notice something out of the corner of her eye. Because of this, she paused, and then said, “Y'all enjoy that now, and come back fer' more when ya' can afford ta,” she gave a somewhat sheepish grin at this, and then said, “Ah gotta get back ta work now, these things ain't gonna sell 'emselves.”

After Albus gave her a nod, she turned back to the crowd and started tending to the small line of somewhat impatient ponies that had accumulated some time during their conversation.

Uh... oops. Sorry Applejack.

Apple fitter still clamped firmly in his beak, the gryphon walked a small distance away to an also small bench. Sitting down on the bench much like how you would expect a human to, Albus noted that even though his body wasn't really made for sitting like this it wasn't all that uncomfortable. Though his wings felt a bit confined, at least his tail slipped through the space between the seat and backrest.

Whilst eating the sample of Applejack's confections, he was fairly certain he heard a green unicorn say something along the lines of “Told you it isn't weird,” to her cream colored companion after seeing him on the bench.

No, it's pretty weird, He thought to himself. The only reason he was even doing it was because he was used to it.

Other than that slightly noteworthy event, the gryphon was more focused on trying to savor the taste of his treat than anything else. Which, unfortunately for him, meant that he didn't notice a bright pink pony notice him, gasp loudly, and speed off in a magnificent show of defying the laws of physics; which seems to be a common theme among ponies.

After finishing his treat, which unfortunately he didn't really get to taste all that much of, even given his efforts; Albus hopped off the bench and, after a moments deliberation, headed towards the field he had first crossed in order to get to Ponyville.

After some 30 minutes of walking and trying to find his way, he reached the sign which announced the Ponyville border, 'Come back soon!' it said cheerily. He followed the actual path out of town for a small while, then branched off into the snow covered field proper, a good few hundred yards out of the town.

Yes, yes, this will do nicely.

Clearing the snow as best he could in a rough circle, Albus pondered for a moment before deciding to start small.

Flaring out his wings, he slowly started to beat them; he frowned a bit as he noted the muscle's slight protest from disuse. Regardless, he continued this pattern of slow motions until the stiffness was gone, and then started flapping more powerfully.

He knew just flapping like this wasn't going to get him off the ground, but he felt the need to do a stretch of sorts; much like an athlete before a sprint. Funnily enough, even though he probably wasn't going to get off of the ground fully without jumping or something similar, he could still quite clearly feel the lift his wings were attempting to give him.

While he was doing these 'stretches', he couldn't help but think about how strange moving his wings felt. Now that he was flapping with more force, the airfoils of his wings began altering his wings' paths ever so slightly; instead of simply going up and down, they were curving slightly. He could clearly feel his strong breast muscles pulling his wings about, and on particularly hard thrusts he could feel the ligaments straining on the keel in his chest.*

Abruptly, he stopped.

That's enough of that, he thought, Time to try and get off the ground.

Gathering himself, he imitated his jump back at the library, crouching low to the ground like a cat about to pounce. With a small shake of his rump, he launched himself into the air; quite high, in fact.

Knowing that if he landed without at least slowing his descent it would probably hurt like a bitch, Albus ignored the slight panic he felt at being up so high and began beating his wings. Again, his wings met air, and he was surprised to find himself hovering; for the most part at least. In the position he was in – what looked somewhat akin to him trying to stand bipedal in midair – he was pushing himself back slightly with every beat of his wings, and was very slowly descending back to the ground.

Albus leaned forward in an attempt to level his flight, and mused briefly on how this might be easier for him if he had read that book on the dynamics of flight that he had borrowed from the library.

Wait... books... SHIT! I left them at Fluttershy's!

This train if thought distracted him from the task at hand, and he forgot to keep flapping. Needless to say, this was a bad thing, and the reaction was rather instantaneous.

The weightless feeling of free fall snapped him out of his thoughts, and he quickly flapped his wings in an attempt to right himself. This, unfortunately for him, led to him going from 'standing upright' to 'laying on his back'; which, in case the reader was unaware, is normally a very bad position to be in while flying.

Of course, that's normally, and Equestria scoffs at such ideas as 'normality'.

Albus began to panic, thinking he had effectively screwed himself, but an urge in the back of his mind made him start flapping in a different manner. This led to him floating on his back in midair, wings flapping and trying not to piss himself.

Fucking magic bullshit... Scared the shit out of me... he thought rather sourly, quite deliberately flapping his right wing harder than his left in order to flip himself. Thankfully, this worked and he was simply hovering in midair in no time.

Making a mental note to go to Fluttershy's house sometime soon to grab his books, he began his attempts in forward motion. And, surprisingly, it worked. Mostly.

More accurately, it worked, but he was only going forward at a snail's pace.

Frowning, he tried flapping harder, but that only made him gain altitude, so he filed that tidbit away and tried something else.

Eventually, he realized that in order to go forward he had to, quite obviously, lean forward; kind of like a helicopter.

Duh.

Experimenting with his new form of locomotion over some period of time, he found his range of motion to be very free formed; meaning that he could move just about however he wanted once he got the movements down. He tried not to think too hard about the fact that he was at least 20 feet off of the ground, and it didn't bother him; much to his relief.

His first landing was... embarrassing, to say the least; and he was thankful that he had chosen to aim for a large snowdrift beforehand. Eventually he got both landing and taking off down to some extent, though; at the very least, he had most of the basics down.

Eventually, he found himself hovering some hundred or so feet off of the ground, debating whether or not to try and land on the cloud below him. It was a strange cloud – as were the rest of them, come to think of it – and looked much more dense and together than a cloud on Earth; which were pretty much all wispy and... not-together if one got as close as Albus was to his current object of fascination.

Giving a shrug, a feat in itself considering he was still flying, he promptly dropped onto the cloud with a small *fwoof*.

Hmm... squishy... he thought as he kneaded the cloud with his claws. It was an odd feeling, very soft and squishy, but it had a rather high tension threshold; only tearing when he applied considerable force to it.

Although... he thought, scratching at his chin, Dash did say that gryphons couldn't manipulate clouds as well as pegasus ponies, so I guess it's not too surprising.

Checking the time, so to speak, he was moderately shocked when he noticed the sun was almost all the way to the horizon.

Time flies... heheh, flies...

Jumping off the cloud, he glided down to Ponyville – which came strangely naturally to him at this point – and landed once again in the square; this time thankfully not bowling over any hapless ponies.

Oddly, there were very few ponies about. Given the fact that it was still pretty cold out (for them at least, Albus didn't really feel it), it wasn't too incredibly surprising that most ponies would be indoors; but there were very, very few ponies out at the time. To be specific, there were 3.

And he couldn't help but notice that they kept glancing at him.

Ignoring them, he took to air again after noticing there was nothing worth sticking around for, and headed to Fluttershy's to pick up his books. Hopefully without any awkward moments this time.

Landing in front of her familiar domicile, he sighed when he noticed the lights were off and a note was on the door. Walking over to said door, he read the following:

Albus, if you're reading this, then I'm currently at the library visiting Twilight Sparkle. I hope you don't mind, but I brought your books back for you; feel free to stop by if you want to get them back or just say hi.

~Fluttershy~

...okay then. Might as well.

Taking wing once more, he headed back to the large, unnatural tree-dwelling that Twilight and Ponyville's library resided in; noting that the ponies that kept staring at him were gone from sight now, leaving the square looking eerily deserted.

He also noted that Twilight was looking of one of the first floor windows at the moment, and waved to him when she noticed him. Waving back, Albus landed in front of the weird hollowed out tree – thankful that no one had been there to notice his failed attempt of landing on a patch of ice – and entered the library.

“SURPRISE!” came the ear-shattering welcome from the gathered ponies.

Albus, upon being greeted like this, promptly gave another one of those undignified 'Squawk!'s and jumped some 10 feet into the air; barely managing to avoid landing on Twilight Sparkle and her uncomfortable looking horn.

His reaction got a laugh from the crowd of assembled ponies, and Albus only had a moment to take it all in before his vision was suddenly filled with pink, white, and blue.

“HI! My name's Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you! Do you like it? Were you surprised, huh huh huh? I'll bet you were, you jumped, like, super duper high and were all like-”

Before she could imitate his already embarrassing exclamation, divine intervention appeared in the form of Rainbow Dash playfully shoving her out of his face, saying, “Geez, Pinkie, not even gonna let the guy enjoy his party for two seconds before you're all over him, huh?” at that, she turned to him and suddenly had a horrible grin on her face, continuing with, “You've just got the mares all over you today, don't you?”

Okay, maybe not so much 'divine'.

Albus attempted reply to that – noting thankfully that most of the other guests were already more focused on enjoying themselves than to bother paying attention to Pinkie's antics – but was interrupted by Twilight interjecting with, “Say what?”

Clearing his throat loudly, he got trio's, no, actually, sextuplet's – as apparently Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy had joined their little debacle – attention as he turned to Pinkie and said, “Thank you, Ms. Pie (this got a giggle out of her) for the party,” he noted out of the corner of his eye the cheerful banner that said 'Welcome to Ponyville, Albus!' in bright lettering, before continuing with, “You certainly know how to make someone feel welcome.”

“But... a little personal space would be nice,” he added as an afterthought, scooting a bit farther away from the pink pony.

Taking a moment to observe said pony, he noted how apt her name was. Pink, pink and more pink. Her mane and tail were giant cotton candy messes in and of themselves, but her eyes were a rather nice shade of blue; those combined with her cutie mark of three various colored balloons were the only break that a body's eyes would get from the blindingly pink mass that was Pinkie Pie.

Suddenly, Dash's foreleg was thrown over his shoulder, pulling him tightly into her with her saying, “Yeah, Pinkie. Haven't you heard of a personal bubble? Geez.”

Albus could only sigh and shake his head as the rest of the group laughed.

After Dash extricated herself from his person, not much outside of idle chitchat happened for a short while; that is, until Pinkie presented the rest of them with a plate of 7 cupcakes.

Examining the frosted treats while Pinkie went on about how she made them in honor of Ponyville's newest arrival, Albus remembered from somewhere in the back of his mind that he generally didn't much like cupcakes; they were always nastily, sickly sweet to him. Way too much of a good thing.

Picking up one of the proffered stark white cupcakes, he eyed the red sprinkles on the frosted top with a hint of distaste before figuring, Well, I don't have much for taste anymore anyhow. I doubt it'll be that bad.

And, upon taking a bite from the sugary concoction, he found it was rather nice; a pleasant level of sweetness with a quite wonderfully moist bread in the middle.

However, while he was enjoying the novelty of being able to taste something as clearly as he used to, he noted that, other than Pinkie – whose cupcake had disappeared down her gullet the second after he had taken his – the ponies were showing various levels of apprehension when attempting to take another bite, a frown gracing all of their faces.

Rarity was the first to speak up, saying, “Pinkie, dear... It's not bad, per se, but it's rather...” she trailed off trying not to offend the party pony of the group.

Applejack picked up for her with, “It's a might too sweet, Pinkie.”

Pinkie seemed to contemplate this for a moment before saying, “Well, I did make them for Alby,” Albus could be heard groaning at this, “And I think I heard somewhere that gryphons can't really taste all that well, so I thought, 'If I make it super duper sweet, he'll be able to taste it just as much as we can!' but since I don't think there's a thing as 'A might too sweet',” she imitated Applejack's southern twang humorously here, but before she could continue her ramble Twilight interjected with, “I think we get the idea, Pinkie.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” she replied cheerfully, evidently not perturbed in the slightest by being interrupted.

“Well, Pinkie, I think it's rather nice of you to consider my tastes in this; no pun intended. And I have to say, the cupcake was pretty darn good,” Albus complimented her, trying not to think about how her smile was getting almost too big for her face.

“Aww, gee, thanks Alby!” he winced at the repetition of that horrid nickname, but it seemed to have stuck, “You're really nice! Much nicer than that mean-meany-ol'-nasty-pants Gilda!”

He was pretty sure he remembered Dash say that name, but given how she – and Fluttershy – had flinched a bit at the mention of it he decided not to open that potential can of worms for now.

Rarity, being the social genius she is, picked up on the reactions as well and quickly changed the course of the conversation towards something along the lines of complimenting Pinkie's choice in the décor and some such.

Admittedly, Albus wasn't paying attention to the conversation anymore; more inclined to space out and think about this 'Gilda' character.

Another gryphon, perhaps? It would explain the comparison, that's for sure. Although, given how Dash and Fluttershy reacted to their name I doubt it would be a good idea to ask either one of them about it; a shame, given the fact that they're the two that I'm actually somewhat close to.

His thoughts continued much like this for quite some time before he was snapped out of it in the form of something poking at the base of his wing.

Albus let out a yelp as he felt the effects of someone touching such a... sensitive area, and upon further inspection he found a confused looking Pinkie staring at him, head cocked to the side.

“What was that about? I just poked you and all of a sudden you were like,” she made a noise that wasn't even close to his embarrassing yelp before continuing with, “Anyway, I saw you were all spaced out and not listening and I thought that I would just leave you alone for a little bit because I like to think to myself sometimes too but then you were standing here for almost two hours and-”

That was as far as she got before he blinked and asked, “Wait, two hours?” before looking out the window. Sure enough, the sun had already set, casting Ponyville into darkness.

Pinkie's way of replying was to nod her head at roughly the speed of light while going, “Mhm!”

Albus blinked again and simply said, “Right, thanks,” before turning his attention to the other guests. Or rather, the lack thereof.

Pretty much every single pony that had been present for the party had already left, barring his group of 6, Spike (whom he had oddly not noticed until now) and some gray pegasus with blond hair and gold eyes. Gold eyes which were moving much like a chameleon’s. Strange.

Regardless, this slightly derpy** looking mare left not 5 seconds after him noticing her, leaving only him, his friends, and the remnants of a party.

Twilight could be heard sighing before she said, “I don't know why I let you hold these things here, Pinkie. There's always such a mess to clean up afterward!”

Dash 'Psshaw'-ed and dismissed her bookish friend's complaints with a wave of her hoof, “C'mon Twi, it's not like you have to clean everything by yourself. You never have to clean it by yourself!” she said, inciting everyone present to start picking stuff up, and she spared the newest addition to the group a glance before smirking and adding, “Besides, this time you've got the big ol' lunk over there to help too.”

Rolling his eyes at her comment, Albus merely started collecting the pile of streamers that had been near him.

The rest of the cleanup with went mostly without incident, the only thing worth mentioning being when Pinkie accidentally tripped up Spike with her ridiculous tail, sending confetti flying everywhere from the dust pan.

Other than that little incident, however, all had gone pretty much swimmingly. Upon completing the task at hand, Applejack and Rainbow Dash both said their farewells and headed out to get some sleep. Rarity stayed for a small while to make conversation, but not too long afterward left with a yawn to pick up Sweetie Belle from one 'Granny Smith's' care.

This left just the four, which soon dwindled to three as Spike meandered upstairs to get some shuteye of his own.

Albus was mostly concerned about his sleeping arrangements, given his lack of housing, and voiced it to Fluttershy who promptly said, “I'm sorry, Albus, I wish I could help, but I need to start setting up for the springtime; Winter Wrap Up is only three days away and I simply must get everything ready for my animal friends. Sorry to say, but with all the delicate devices and such I don't think it would be a good idea to have anypony who didn't know where everything was around the house; it could end very badly. That's not a problem is it?”

As he was about to say that, no, it wasn't a problem, Twilight replied with, “Of course it isn't! He can stay here for the night!” she paused before saying, “Erm... that is, if you don't mind sleeping on the couch. I don't have any bedding prepared for the guest bed, so all I can spare is a blanket or two.”

“That would work perfectly, Twilight,” Albus said before smiling wryly and saying, “Hopefully the inside of your house is more comfortable than the top of it.”

This got a chuckle from Twilight and a look from Fluttershy that honestly made him want to wither up and die, but thankfully she didn't go full on 'Angry Mother Hen Mode' on him. Yet.

Giving him another look, Fluttershy said, “Well, I suppose I'll be off then. Have a good night, you two.”

And with that, she promptly exited the tree.

Twilight and Albus both yawned at the same time, prompting the male of the two to chuckle before excusing himself to the bathroom.

Gotta go gotta go gotta go right now, gotta go gotta go gotta go...

After doing that, he returned to the main room to see that the couch had been made up as a bed of sorts, a single sheet, blanket, and pillow adorning the piece of furniture that was quite frankly almost too small for him.

He noticed Twilight walking up the stairs and thanked her before they bid each other good night, leaving him by himself with only a lonely candle to provide him light.

Blowing it out – he didn't really need it, after all – the albino gryphon bundled himself onto the couch; and even though it was a bit of a snug fit, he was quite comfortable.

That is, until his stomach let known the fact that he had barely had anything to eat today.

Ugh... Whatever. Too tired. Eat tomorrow.

With that last thought in mind, the former human nodded off into a restful sleep.

Author's Note

I screwed up the rainbow effect on Albus' 'SURPRISE'. Oh well.

*A bird's, and therefore a gryphon's, keel is a structure in their chest which effectively replaces their sternum; acting as a sort of anchor for the breast muscles when flapping the wings, it is a very important part of their anatomy.

** SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Songs and Suspicion

A tired eye cracks open, leading to a loud yawn not long after. An albino gryphon attempts to slowly extricate himself from his covering blanket, but only ends up with himself on the floor in a heap.

At least he left the blanket on the couch this time.

Giving another yawn, Albus stretched and elicited a series of loud pops and cracks from his back. Making a lazy smile at the relief of tension from his back, he trudged slowly to the bathroom to relieve himself further.

Past that, he found himself aimless for the time being. He noted that the foyer that he had used as his sleeping chamber for the night was still dark, and that the sun still had yet to rise.

Regardless, he found himself a job soon after that realization; a hungry stomach waits for no one, after all. He wandered into the kitchen (after having to check a few doors), his stomach angrily gurgling at him for taking so long to feed himself.

And even still, it would have to wait for a while yet; he still had to make something, after all.

Then again... he thought, I don't know if Twilight would appreciate me raiding her pantry to feed my gargantuan appetite...

Another angry growl from his stomach made up his mind for him.

I'm sure she won't be too mad.

Taking a look around the small facility he was in, he took in his options. Poking around a bit led to the discovery that apparently ponies had refrigerators – how they were powered was beyond him, as there was no apparent cord or source of electricity – and the reminder of the fact that Twilight had recently gone shopping.

Her pantry and fridge were decently stocked, though he did notice about a fourth of her pantry was devoted to storing various gems and the like. Albus wasn't sure whether or not the jewels were even valuable here, given the fact that they weren't exactly hidden away; though the urge to take out a gem or two and admire them proved to be too great for a moment before he got back to the task at hand.

Of course, as a pony's supply of food is wont to do, many of the things available to him for use were, in fact, unusable. He was sure that the package of 'Fiery Hot Hay Fries' would have been delicious had he not been incapable of digesting (or tasting) them, though.

Thankfully for him, though, he found a package of eggs in her fridge; curiously enough labeled 'Baking Eggs'.

I suppose it makes sense; ponies wouldn't likely eat eggs for any other reason than if they were in a pastry or something. Which makes me wonder how exactly the use of eggs in baked goods would have come about for them, given that they probably wouldn't be too fond of the idea of consuming the unborn offspring of another species...

Regardless, he simply shrugged and counted himself lucky that he knew how to make omelettes.

Let's see, eggs, olive oil... cream cheese? That's surprising, but it works... And... wait, crap... I have no ham... Oh well, I- Damn it, can't use dairy products, that's cheese and the like out...

Thus went his thoughts as he attempted to find the proper ingredients for his omelette, and seeing as how he had no meat-stuffs to decorate his breakfast he settled for a simple meal of egg and chives. Of course, there would be a lot of these ingredients. Where he would normally use only two eggs, he would be using five, and so forth.

Throwing a pan onto the stove, the gryphon began to play a song in his head, which quickly turned into humming, which quickly turned into singing.

“Les rêves des amoureux, sont comm' le bon vin,

Ils donnent de la joie, ou bien du chagrin,

Affaibli par la faim je, suis malheureux,

Volant en chemin, tout ce que je peux,

Car rien n'est gratuit; dans la vie...”

It was originally sung by a woman, yes, but he didn't really care at the moment. Swaying about the kitchen in time with the song, he performed the tasks necessary for cooking a meal like the one he was at the moment. Beating eggs, chopping the chives... for a moment he forgot the world and his troubles and simply did.

The funniest part about this moment, he would later observe, was that the manager at the orphanage had taught him Italian, not French.

“L'espoir est un plat bien, trop vite consommé

A sauter les repas, je suis habitué

Un voleur solitaire, est triste à nourrir

A un jeu si amer, je n'peux réussir

Car rien n'est grat-”

“Albus?” came a voice from the doorway, bringing his song to a screeching halt as he almost spilled the eggs he was attempting to pour into the pan.

Shit. Forgot about Twilight and Spike...

Looking back, he noticed two things: one was that the sun was now up – though barely – and the second was that Twilight looked incredibly confused.

Taking up a nonchalant tone, he quipped, “Your mane looks better without bedhead, dearie,” and turned back to what he was doing before saying, “I hope you don't mind that I raided your fridge; I'm pretty hungry and, maybe it's just me, but waking up your host to force them to make you food seems terribly ungracious; though I seem to have accomplished the former with my terrible singing. Sorry about that, by the way.”

He continued with his meal-making in silence for a short moment before Twilight gathered her bearings and responded in a slightly flustered manner, “I don't care about the food, I just went shopping the other day, so it's not a problem. Although I am curious...” she trailed off, apparently not knowing how to voice her question.

Albus picked up on it for her, however, “I'm making an omelette right now, and the song I was singing is called Le Festin, does that sate your curiosity?”

“Erm, uh... Yes, I suppose. Sort of. Though I have to ask, what exactly is an... omelette? Is that what smells so... odd?” she asked, seemingly even more confused than before.

Albus paused; he hadn't taken into consideration that ponies may not exactly find the smell of cooking baby chickens to be appetizing. Flipping the omelette in thought, he responded with, “Yes, I suppose it would be. I'm sorry if you find the smell unpleasant, I didn't really think about it. As for what it is...” he trailed off for a moment before smiling devilishly. Wiping his face clean of emotion, he turned to Twilight, looked her straight in the eye, and said, “It's a meal made by whipping the unborn fetuses of chickens into a sort of flurry, then cooking it into a kind of egg patty.”

The way he worded it was intentionally grotesque – at least the 'unborn fetuses' part was – and he found it hard to keep a straight face as he watched Twilight's face turn from purple to green.

“I... I'll be right back,” she said in a tight voice, promptly leaving the kitchen in a hurried trot; Albus' boisterous laughter following her.

“Sorry Twi', I couldn't resist!” He called after her, letting out a yelp and a quiet curse as he burned his arm on the stove in his distraction.

Grimacing, he finished cooking his incredibly large omelette – which almost didn't even fit in the pan – before folding it over the chives which he had chopped. Scooping it onto a plate, he placed the confection on the table.

He nearly knocked the plate on to the floor when Spike's incredibly loud laughter burst out from upstairs, followed by what he could have sworn was Twilight shouting “It's not funny!”

Grabbing one of the few forks in the silverware cabinet of the kitchen, Albus realized something.

...how do they hold these?

He was getting tired of chalking things up to 'magic' and leaving it at that; he was a very inquisitive person after all. However, holding silverware – and anything else for that matter – was pretty much impossible without magic if one had hooves. He'd have to look up the specifics later, he supposed.

Settling down and starting on his massive omelette, the gryphon thought, as he is wont to do when given the opportunity.

He thought about how normally he didn't always want to start tearing his hair out in frustration while trying to figure out how the world worked. He thought about how he no longer had hair.

He thought about how while he accepted and even embraced this new form of his, he couldn't deny that he missed his old one; to an extent, at least. He was honestly surprised he had been able to adjust so well to the one he had now, actually.

Honestly, I'd like to think that I'm taking this rather well... This whole situation, really. Being stuck in some alien world, surrounded by talking ponies that... really don't look all that much like ponies...

Come to think of it, why am I taking this so well? I'm the only human on the planet, as far as I know! Well... former human. Regardless.

Continuing to think much like this, Albus became more and more confused and irritated by his apparent apathy. More so, however, was the gradual realization that, yes, it was entirely possible that he was the only one of his kind here.

This troubled him, and troubled him even more with his constant self corrections; no, he was not a human anymore. And he wouldn't likely see another human ever again.

Even if the human race left much to be desired, the thought of waking up day after day and never seeing one of his own put one hell of a damper on his mood.

He frowned at the plate in front of him, the food having long been devoured. Absently remembering that it needed to be put away, he did just that.

It wasn't until five minutes of rumination and depressing thoughts later that he noticed that he had wandered into the living room where he had slept for the night.

And that Twilight was apparently talking to him.

“Albus? Did you catch that?”

Blinking away his all-consuming reflection for the moment, he replied, “Erm... No, no I didn't. What did you say?”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow at his absentmindedness, but didn't question it. She instead repeated, “I said that Spike and I were going out for lunch, would you like to come with us?”

“Uh... Twilight, I just ate...” he reminded her dryly.

She paused for a moment, muttering, “Oh yeah,” before shrugging and saying, “Oh well. We'll be back in a while then; feel free to make yourself at home.”

At this, Spike came running down the stairs, clutching satchel of some sort. Albus was about to comment on it, but was utterly dumbstruck when Spike slung the bag over Twilight's rear end; Albus could only watch in bemusement as Spike then clambered up onto Twilight's back, riding her much like a horse.

It was only Spike's “See ya later!” that snapped him out of his confusion fueled reverie.

Once again, Albus found himself alone, and once again his thoughts returned to the depressing chain that had occupied his head earlier. He grimaced and muttered, “Damn it...” before deciding to go for a walk of his own. Something to clear his head, maybe.

Exiting the library much like his hosts had done naught but a minute before, he began wandering listlessly about the town.

Unfortunately, this did nothing to snap him out of his thoughts, and he barely avoided running into a few ponies during his meandering.

Although, some amount of time later, he came across a building that made him pause. It was... a theatre, if the sign was anything to go by; namely that of the black and white masks often used to signify live theatres. Strangely enough, that was the only defining outward characteristic of the establishment; in fact, it didn't seem to be in use.

Maybe it's abandoned? It doesn't look like it's in disrepair or anything...

Successfully distracted, Albus made his way into the building, noting idly how the front door stuck a bit.

Upon entering the foyer, however, he saw that the building was indeed in disrepair; just not on the outside. Various dilapidated stands and counters – both those for tickets and treats – decorated the room, a somewhat thick layer of dust covering everything.

Walking over the worn and faded carpet, Albus frowned, Why was this place abandoned? It should have been reclaimed by the state or something if it had been abandoned for long enough that it looked this bad. Why...

His thoughts slowed to a halt as he beheld something that he had... not expected in a world like the one he currently resided in. Maybe the one he hailed from, but...

Inspecting the scene before him, he could only set his face into a deeper frown. That was a depressing reminder of his previous equally depressing thoughts.

What was he observing, you may ask? A simple thing, really; not something one might not give much meaning to if they didn't know what it meant already.

A short section of rope, frayed and worn with age, was tied around one of the support beams on the ceiling. Carved into the wood next to it with a scrawl was a message, partially obscured by the heavy dust that had accumulated over some period of time.

“...was here.”

The name was illegible, having been scratched out by someone at one point, most likely. Albus couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing.

He stared at it for a small amount of time before filing it somewhere in his mind and continuing on with his inspection of the building; he was somewhat glad that the media had desensitized him to things like that to an extent. Regardless, given the circumstances of this world, it seemed to have more of an impact than he thought it should have; and it didn't seem to want to leave his mind's eye.

Continuing into the theatre proper, he noted that it was about as run down as the rest of the place; if not more so, it honestly looked pretty crappy.

He weaved through the aisles, occasionally coughing or sneezing from the dust he was picking up.

Eventually, he stepped up on to the stage, and something caught his eye; a dust covered grand piano.

His mind didn't seem to want to process this new discovery for a while, but slowly he was able to form a coherent thought:

I haven't played piano in forever...

You see, reader, there were only two extracurricular activities that the staff at his orphanage ever really tried to push onto him.

One was speaking Italian, courtesy of the manager; unfortunately, his skills were pretty rusty after not using the language for anything for something close to two years.

The other was playing the piano, which he picked up at the suggestion of the part-time counselor. He found it somewhat therapeutic; it was one of the few good suggestions that the man had made, now that he thought of it. Again, though, he was about as out of practice with the piano as he was with his second language.

This didn't deter him, though. Walking over to the large instrument, he sat down on the uncomfortable bench like he had many times before; he vaguely remembered the mint green pony and her friend for a moment, sitting as he was.

Flipping up the key cover, he was pleased to see that they were mostly lacking the dust that plagued the rest of the establishment. Brushing the keys off gently, he ran his claws over the ridges and bumps of them.

Pressing each of the keys firmly, he listened for any off-tune notes; as far as he could tell, though, the thing was still tuned. Odd, given how long it had probably been here...

Regardless, he shrugged, and tried to see if he could remember any songs from memory.

This turned out to be fruitless for a time, until he remembered a melody that he had heard some other person listen to on their MP3 a few times. He had never figured out what exactly the name of it was, but he did remember practicing the song quite a few times to get it right. He was glad that the song had no lyrics; it would have made it just that much harder to get it right.

Pressing a few keys tentatively to get a feel for it again, he played a random string to try and figure out how to play with the same dexterity that he once had. After all, he didn't only have three fingers last time he had tried this.

Starting to get the hang of it, he began playing the first measure or so before pausing, trying to remember how it went. After playing various parts to try and get the order right, he began with a bit more confidence. Though, to be honest, he wasn't really sure about all of the parts of the song; there was a part or two played primarily by a string quartet, or something similar to that.

Playing the unnamed (as far as he knew) song, his thoughts began drifting back to what they were before. Again.

He frowned as his mind made him painfully aware of his circumstances yet again, I don't want to have to deal with this...

So much for therapeutic.

He stopped playing abruptly, sighing heavily and resting his head on the piano.

I can't even enjoy this, geez. Why do I keep thinking about this? It's like something's making me!

Curiously, at that, his mind went suspiciously blank.

He sat in silence for a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened. The irritation at the thoughts resurfaced all at once two-fold; only this time is wasn't directed at himself.

What. The. HELL?

He quickly hopped off of the piano bench and began pacing about the stage, brainstorming.

After a moment, he stopped.

Magic. That must be it. That's the reason for all the other bullshit that's happened to me that doesn't make sense... but why would magic make me think about things like that? I doubt it would be a side-effect from some ambient source of magic... but it could be a side-effect of...

...a spell...

Growling deep in his throat in anger, he quickly turned his attention to the piano. No, too big. Wouldn't want to break it anyway... then he focused his sights on the bench next to it.

Within the next three seconds, that bench was hurtling at the wall at a blistering speed; upon hitting the concrete wall of the theatre, it splintered magnificently.

That didn't really help.

He forced himself to calm down enough to think rationally, going into a berserker rage would get him nowhere.

Still growling quite loudly, he smoothed down his feathers – which had puffed up sometime during that little incident with the bench – and thought, I can't play the blame game yet, but this just reeks of foul play. It could just be me being a paranoid human, though. Given what I've seen, ponies don't seem like the type to tamper with someone's mind.

That thought made him pause, Maybe not a pony, but that doesn't mean that something else isn't trying to screw with me... Only problem is, I don't know what other species use magic; assuming that magic can do this at all.

Thoroughly defused – though still a bit grumpy – Albus began making his way out of the theatre; quite intentionally ignoring the rope this time.

Upon walking out of the dilapidated building, he filed away the fact that the sun was almost equidistant between its zenith and the horizon.

That, however, was not the main focus on his mind at the time. Nor were the ponies giving him strange looks for having just exited an abandoned building.

No, he had only one thought on his mind as he began winging his way back to the library, and that was;

I need answers.

Author's Note

A/N: Hey, that was almost convincing!

The song Albus was attempting to play on the piano is known as 'Moment of Decision' from the Katawa Shoujo OST.

Le Festin is from Ratatouille, and belongs to Pixar and/or Camille (who sang it in the first place).

By the way, I have no idea whether that French is correct or not.

Playing Detective

The trip back to Ponyville's massive hollowed-out tree of a library was short; however, it was enough time for Albus to come to the decision that there was little he could do even if someone was influencing his mind.

At least, not without proof.

The seeds of doubt had planted in his mind, and he felt no need to discard them. Upon landing outside of the door of Twilight's abode, he came to the conclusion that he would not trust any of the ponies any further than he already had; at least until he had figured out what had done this to him.

Normally he wasn't so paranoid, but he felt violated; the sanctity of his mind having been trod upon by the invasion of another. It's not something that one can fathom without experiencing it themselves, to know that your mind isn't safe from intrusion anymore.

Of course, there was a problem. If someone had indeed been inside of his head, they no doubt knew of his suspicion by now. He would need to be wary.

These were his thoughts as he entered the tree-dwelling, and as the foyer came into view, he was intrigued by the sight of Twilight poring over a book.

“What's that you're reading, Twilight?” he asked, brow cocked in curiosity.

She looked up with a noticeable start, putting her hoof over chest as if to stave off a heart attack before saying, “Goodness, Albus! I didn't hear you come in...”

She took a moment to catch her breath before actually answering with, “As for the book, it's a... curiosity, if you will. Nothing important.”

Albus noted that after saying this she levitated the book high onto a bookshelf, well out of reach without a ladder.

Or wings, he added mentally, but then discarded the idea after a moment's thought; trying to fly in a library was a recipe for disaster.

“Right...” he said after another moment, “Say, Twilight, you wouldn't happen to know anything about menta-”

He was cut off by Spike coming into the room, saying, “Hey Twi, I feel a-” at this, Spike was cut off as well by... himself. Namely in the form of a rather loud belch; expelling green flames from his mouth at the same time.

Curiously, those flames materialized into a scroll. Other than the fact that it had just appeared out of thin air, there was only one defining characteristic of the scroll; specifically the red ribbon it was tied with, complete with a gold seal emblazoned with what could have been a capital C or a horseshoe. Albus wasn't sure which.

“-letter coming on,” Spike finished, albeit a bit late.

As Albus was about to ask just what the hell just happened, Twilight grabbed the letter via magic and opened it expediently. Her eyes widened for a moment as she quickly read the contents of the scroll, and she glanced at Albus for the briefest of moments before the letter burst into flames once more, the ashes still in Twilight's grasp.

Albus raised a claw and opened his beak to say something, but couldn't quite find the words for how confused he was right now.

Eventually, he settled for a simple, “What was that?”

Spike answered with, “Oh, that was a letter from the princess! I dunno why it burnt up like that though...”

“Wait wait wait, go back,” Albus said, even more confused, “A letter from the princess?”

After a second he also added, “Which one?”

Twilight beamed at this, and seemed to puff out her chest a bit before saying, “Well, Albus, I happen to be Princess Celestia's protégée. As such, occasionally I receive letters from her; as well as sending her a friendship report every time I learn something new abo-”

Albus cut her off there, “Wait, what? Sorry, but... what? You have a direct line to Princess Celestia?”

If that's true... hmm... This could be useful. If anyone would know about how I got here, it would be one of the Immortal-Goddess-Ruler... people. Regardless, I have more important things to take care of right now.

With that, he filed 'Twilight Sparkle is Princess Celestia's student' under 'Possible Leads' in his mind. Sadly, that category seemed to be rather empty.

He tuned back in to the real world just in time to hear Twilight say, “...and then she asked me if I wanted to be her student!”

Both Spike and Albus winced at the volume of Twilight's ensuing fan-girl squeal.

Clearing his throat, the gryphon of the group said, “Well, that's certainly interesting, Twilight. But, I do want to know something specific, if you don't mind. Maybe you have a book on it somewhere?”

At that, Twilight smiled amiably before saying, “Of course, Albus. What did you have in mind?”

I might be overly suspicious, but your reactions are just too perfect. I doubt you're a good liar, so let's see how you respond to...

Smiling back politely, Albus asked, “Do you have anything on the subject of spells that affect the mind? Specifically where the caster would affect another person?”

Twilight's face went curiously blank at this, though after a moment she gave a strange smile and said, “I'm afraid we don't have anything to do with that in stock at the library, Albus.”

“But Twi, what ab-” Spike's question was quickly cut off by his mouth literally turning into a closed zipper.

Albus looked at Spike – who was now scratching at the zipper, trying to make it go away – and then looked at Twilight.

Putting on his best impersonation of a loan shark's sickly sweet smile, Albus sauntered over to Twilight, quite intentionally invading her personal bubble. Circling her much like the predator he is, he continued in a low, rumbling voice, “Oh, Twilight... But, surely one a learned as yourself would know about these things... hmm? Certainly the princess' personal protégée would be knowledgeable about a trifling matter such as this, no?”

At that, he stopped in front of her and lifted her chin with his claw, staring straight into her eyes. His expression, while now seemingly impassive, held many a concealed threat and morbid promise; he narrowed his eyes slightly as he felt her shudder.

He didn't want to have to resort to intimidation, but it was the best way he could think of to get what he wanted.

Of course, it was a risky gambit.

If she didn't know, or if she stopped to think that if something happened to her, then she had one of the rulers of a country as a lifeline... well, Albus' goose was cooked.

He wouldn't let her think, though. He couldn't. The purpose of his actions was to scare her into confessing what she knew; what she knew, he wasn't certain, but he needed her knowledge.

“I... I- uh... I mean...” she stuttered, a blush playing across her face.

Wait... what?!? You don't blush when you're scared! Why the hell are you-...

Hmm...

Albus took a quick note of the situation; he was right in her face – some three inches of space between his beak and her nose... snout... muzzle thing –, he had just complimented her, and though he had meant it in a threatening manner, she evidently didn't take it that way...

And he had his talon under her chin, pushing her face up as if to...

Oh. Oh...

I can use this...

Clearly his intimidation tactics were lacking, but maybe, just maybe, he could... seduce her, or something.

He stopped to think about that.

Seduce a pony. For information, yes, but... seducing a pony. That's... eww. It's not like they're bad looking or anything, but it's just... weird.

Whatever, she's reacting to it, I need to keep it up.

Changing his approach, he let a small, sultry smile grace his features before pulling away slightly, removing his claw from under her head. Curiously enough, her head remained in the same position.

He was momentarily distracted by Spike making gagging noises behind his zipper-mouth before trudging upstairs, shooting them a disgusted glare on the way up; but Albus payed the event no more heed than a moment's amused thought.

Keeping up the façade, he circled her once more, 'accidentally' brushing her with his wingtip every so often.

He felt a certain level of satisfaction when he saw her shiver once more, her blush intensifying.

Putting his face side to side with hers, he whispered huskily, “I'm your... friend, aren't I, Twi? You wouldn't keep anything from a friend, would you...?”

Once again she stuttered incomprehensibly in reply, “I- you, I'm- I don't-”

“Shh, Twi... Why don't you just... confide in me what's bothering you?” he interrupted her, trying to keep her frazzled.

Her only immediate response was to chew on her bottom lip in a very human-like fashion, letting out a small 'Nnnng...' sound.

Suddenly, however, it all came out. Like a waterfall. Or Pinkie Pie.

“I'm so sorry but Celestia told me to keep an eye on you and I didn't know why because it was strange for her to take interest in some random person who just showed up out of nowhere and so I decided to look at your memories and-”

Albus couldn't really focus on Twilight's ridiculous run-on sentence at that point. The implications of her statement slapped him in the face.

She knew. Celestia knew. Hell, Celestia probably knew from the start. Among other things.

I... what... But.... shit. Well, she knows. They both do. And now if they tell anyone I'll probably hunted down and dissected... no, wait, a leader of the nation knows, if that was going to happen it would have already. But still. Twilight evidently can't keep a secret, if she tells anyone then... I don't know. I'll at least be a pariah, that's for sure. And I can't live without society, I'm damn sure of that. It would be the word of Celestia's protégée against mine, and that wouldn't turn out well for me...

And Twilight... Oh, god DAMN it! Way to go, dumb ass, you've given her a reason to spite you! You just played off of the insecure librarian's... insecurities! Fuck, FUCK, FUCK!

The current state of the library's lobby was this; a shell-shocked Albus thinking of one worst-case scenario after another, and Twilight sobbing on the floor apologizing to him without even knowing that he couldn't really hear her at the moment.

But other than that, it was pretty much immaculate.

After roughly five minutes of this, however, Twilight stopped her apologies and noticed Albus' condition. Namely, the fact that he wasn't moving. Or outwardly doing anything other than breathing.

Staring at him for a moment to see if he would do anything, Twilight frowned when he did just the opposite.

“Um... Albus?” she asked hesitantly, pausing to sniffle, not quite over her little sobbing spree.

After a moment of him still not responding, she poked him in the chest, asking, “Hey, are you alright?” a little bit more confidently, a look of concern on her face.

A few seconds after this, he turned to look at her. It's safe to say that Twilight was a bit creeped out by him staring at her with absolutely no expression, but he surprised her by starting with, “So, Twilight...” before trailing off.

“Erm... Yes?” was the only reply she could think to give.

After a pause, Albus asked with a perfectly straight face, “Am I really that attractive? I can't tell.”

Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was a squeak as she registered what exactly he had just asked.

Giving a smile that barely lasted a moment, Albus filled in for her with, “You don't have to answer that.”

Continuing his role of the only one participating in conversation, he continued by sighing heavily before asking, “So, Twilight. What happens now? What is your opinion of me now that you know what I am and where I came from?”

Frowning, Twilight finally managed to get a word in edgewise, “I can't say that my opinion of you has changed, Albus. In fact, I think you've done remarkably well with the cards you have been dealt.”

That... wasn't what I was expecting.

“So...” he began, trying to find the right words, “You're not mad at me for trying to...?” he trailed off, knowing she would get the gist of his question.

She surprised him once more by visibly deflating, saying, “I can't really judge you for anything you do to me, you know. Not after what I did...”

Being reminded of the violation of his mind set off a flare of anger in Albus' mind, but it quickly faded. It was much different to be angry at some malevolent puppet master pulling at the strings of your mind than to be angry at...

He looked her over. All he could see was the small purple librarian pony, hanging her head in shame, ears folded back, eyes downcast.

It's an image hard to be mad at, but that didn't mean it excused her for her actions.

Giving a frown of his own, he responded with, “Yes, well. I can't say that I'm particularly happy with what you've done, Twilight. Are you aware of the side-effects that your little foray into my psyche had?”

She quickly looked up at him, a panicked expression on her face, “Side-effects!? Oh no, I didn't erase some of your memories or make you un-learn something or-”

He cut her off by gently placing a claw against her small muzzle, saying, “Enough.”

She flinched back from his touch before looking off to the side, “Sorry...”

Damn it Twilight, you're making this hard...

He was unhappy with her, but he was getting the urge to hug her and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

Confound these ponies. Damn cuteness and overlarge eyes and-... did I just call them cute?

Placing that train of thought off to the side for the moment, he continued with, “Obviously you weren't made aware of that, so I'm not necessarily going to blame you for it. But... I have a question for you.”

The purple unicorn feebly met his gaze, head still lowered. It was probably as much of a go-ahead as he was going to get, so he asked, “Are you truly, genuinely repentant for what you've done in my head?”

She replied with a simple nod of her head.

“Then I accept your apology,” he said, but quickly continued with, “But, that does not mean that I forgive you. Not yet. I will forgive you on one term, and one term only.”

This wasn't strictly true, but she didn't have to know that. Regardless of that fact, she nodded her head emphatically, eyes slightly wider with hope.

He studied her for a moment more, pausing for what he hoped was dramatic effect.

Finally, he let her know what would gain his trust once more:

“I want an audience with Princess Celestia.”

Author's Note

Holy Mood-Swings, Batman!

If this chapter seems a bit rushed... it's because it kinda sorta is.

This is what happens when I write through writer's block and it gets better about halfway through.

I did, however, Pinkie Promise that I would post today. And, as such, I endeavored to do so. Regardless of how it may have turned out...

Just something I've wanted to say since I started that scene (you'll know which one):

ALBUS THE INCUBUS, WHAT WHAT

Ahem.

Comments? Questions? Coupons?

(By the way, I have a perfectly good explanation for why Twilight spilled the beans the way she did, under the circumstances that she did. I won't go into that right now, though.)

Ruffled Feathers

Daylight. Bright. Go Away.

“Ugh....”

The newly turned Gryphon groggily opened his eyes and pushed himself to his feet, mentally vowing never to sleep on a rock floor ever again.

Still a Gryphon. This is gonna take some getting used to.

Quickly finding out that his new cave was much too small to properly stretch in, he made his way to the mouth of said cave, pondering what he would eat today. Seeing as how he was a mixture of a Lion and some sort of Eagle, it was unlikely that he would be an omnivore like when he was a human. Then again, just because he had characteristics of the two animals didn't mean he shared the same diets of th-

In the midst of his musing, he saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks.

There, at the entrance to his cave, was a fish. A trout, actually, resting on a pile of snow.

No way. That... What? How?

His mind struggled to make sense of the situation. There certainly wasn't a fish there before, and the little pile of snow was obviously there to keep it fresh; there wasn't any snow in the cave to begin with, so something must've pushed it in.

And that's where the problem was.

Something obviously knew he was here, and probably knew that he didn't catch any fish last night too; unless they just though the trout would be a nice little cave-warming present. But why would they bother giving him the fish, barring the (infinitely slim) possibility of friendly neighbors? It's not like anyone here owed him a favor; he didn't even know where here was.

Also comes to mind the possibility of an intelligent race in this place; more like probability, really. Which leads to the question of what they had to gain by giving him food...

Bah. To hell with it.

Grabbing the fish with one of his hands-, talons, rather, he brought it to his beak and stopped.

How was he going to eat this?

He figured he had two options: Tear off chunks and swallow those, or swallow the fish whole.

He didn't really like the concept of either option, but was definitely more willing to go with the first.

After about five minutes of trying to tear apart the fish, he realized he was getting nowhere fast with trying to eat it like he was. And a lot of blood all over himself. He wasn't very dexterous with his new-found claws, and was doing a rather shoddy job of tearing the meat off.

So, before he could think himself out of it, he grabbed the fish by its tail, opened the hatch, and dropped it in headfirst.

If I choke I totally deserve it.

The fish stuck in his throat, gagging him for several seconds before he was able to force it down.

Is that how I'm supposed to eat it? Crap, I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Maybe it only worked because it was so small...

Wait, no, that fish wasn't small, it was a least a foot long! How big am I, anyway?

Walking out of the cave, he looked for things he could use as reference points. The trees would work if he knew how tall he was, but for now they only told him that he was probably shorter than he used to be; which didn't really help because how big he was wasn't really solely based on height anymore...

Shrugging, he used this opportunity to stretch, spreading out like a cat on a windowsill and flaring his wings.

Actually, wait...

Finishing his stretch, he kept his wings as extended as he could, still unused to using those muscles. They drooped a bit, and he noted that they were a bit heavy; so he took the opportunity to observe them and saw why.

His wingspan was... impressive. He didn't know exactly how long they were, but they were pretty big. He started flapping and tilting them experimentally, trying to the hang of them. The feeling of the muscles in his chest being used to flap wings was... new, to say the least.

It felt a bit alien to him, but he got used to it (more or less) eventually and tucked them to his sides.

Now came a new matter. Hygiene.

He still had trout blood all over his face and arms, probably his chest too, given his luck with white outfits.

Just my luck, I get a coat color that shows off every stain that I ever get. This is going to be annoying if I want to make myself presentable. For whatever reason. Maybe if I meet whoever gave me that fish...

He didn't want to jump into the bone-chilling river, so he decided to do the next best thing, and rolled around in the snow for about ten minutes. Thankfully, his new fur/feather combination coat seemed to repel water decently well, so he didn't end up all that much colder for it. It seemed likely to him that Gryphons lived in cold environments, if he could just meander around in the snow and barely be cold.

On a whim, he stuck his wing out, tucked his head to the side, and started preening it. He didn't know why he was doing this, but he figured he'd go with it. He'd heard somewhere that a bird had to preen every so often to keep its feathers in shape, so that it could stay airborne more efficiently and retain heat better; yeah, that was probably it...

After running his tongue and beak through his wings a couple hundred times, he stopped to think. Airborne. Could he fly? It seemed like it was possible, maybe; it's not like this was a normal place, the rules seemed willing to bend a bit. He'd never know unless he tried, and he might as well while he's still fresh and fed. Well, sort of fed. He still felt pretty hungry, and his stomach was gurgling every so often, but the solitary fish would do its job for now.

Snapping his wings out in what he'd like to call an impressive display, he took a running start towards the stream, figuring it would be too far of a jump to make without the help of his wings.

I have no illusions of being able to fly just like that, but gliding would be a nice start.

Picking up speed, he jumped at the stream's bank...

And promptly jumped completely over it. He didn't even catch any real wind in his wings, just a slight tug of resistance.

Well, that was... disappointing. At least I know I can jump, like, 8 feet though.

Shrugging and folding his wings back up, he decided to just keep with his original plan: walk upstream until he found civilization.

Someone near him, however, had other plans.

A tree branch snapping, the rustling of feathers, a thump, and the crunch of snow was all the warning he had before he was verbally assaulted from behind.

“Hey, who're you? Why are you walking around Whitetail woods in the middle of Winter? You know town is the other way, right?”, a somewhat grating feminine voice borderline shouted.

Jumping a bit, he tried not to panic; this was obviously one of the natives, and they obviously knew the lay of the land. Also, they knew where town was.

Another moment of reflection led him to realize that they seemed completely unsurprised by his appearance, so he was probably some kind of local creature. Inhabitant, actually, would be a more accurate term, seeing as how they seemed to expect him to res-

“Hey! Are you listening to me?! Don't you ignore me, Buster, I asked you a question!”

More like 3, but okay...

Promising himself not to freak out, he turned to face the new arrival.

...well, it's certainly not a Gryphon, that's for sure.

It... It was kinda.... Funny looking. It was like a horse... pony... pegapony... thing, but other than the whole, quadrupedal, horse-like tail, hooves and mane thing it had going, it really wasn't all that similar.

For one, it was glaring at him with its rather expressive face, it had a very small muzzle and very, VERY big eyes. They were a little creepy, and really disproportionate. It had wings, obviously, which were flared out at the moment to make itself look bigger or something. He would've laughed at the futility of it, as he was at least a foot and a half taller than it, and much, much bigger, if he wasn't busy trying not to do anything rash.

Its coloring was weird. Beyond weird. Its coat, wings, and hooves were cyan, but its mane and tail were rainbow colored. This pony thing made no sense.

So he said the only thing he could think of.

“Uhh... Hi?”

Smoooooth...

“Don't you 'Hi' me, I asked you a question! Who are you?”, it, actually, if the voice was anything to go by, she, demanded.

Giving a frown, the former-man responded with, “Why should I tell you? I somehow doubt that this is your property, pony.”

He'd said the whole “Pony” thing in a derogatory manner, practically spitting the word, but she seemed unfazed by it. Maybe they were actually called ponies?

What he'd said, however, seemed to get to her. For about half a second. “I, uh... Don't dodge the question! I asked you who you are! Why would you not want to answer that?” suddenly, the not-man had her rather large magenta eyes taking up his entire view, “Are you a spy!?”

What.

Giving a growl from deep in his throat (Oh cool, I didn't know I could do that...), he retorted, “I don't see any reason to tell you, Ms Rude; do you normally answer the questions of folks who accost you for no reason, or are you just being a hypocrite? And get out of my face.”

With that last statement, he pushed her away from him, and saw that she was hovering over the ground with her wings. Her rather small wings. Wings that shouldn't have been able to hold her up under any circumstances.

Not fair.

She gave him a hard glare, “Fine then. I guess I won't bring you back to town, despite how obviously lost you are. Good luck finding your way to Ponyville on your own, jerkwad.”

As she started to turn away, he started to panic; this might be his only way to get to some semblance of civilization, he had to act quickly, “Hey hey hey, wait! Yeah, I'm lost, and if you stop being so rude, I'll be happy to accept your help, just don't leave me here! I have no idea where I am!”

Ouch, my pride.

It seemed to work, as the pony turned back around with a cocky grin on her face. “Oh? Willing to answer my questions now that I threaten to leave you all alone?”

It took all of his willpower not to attempt to slaughter the mutant farm animal... Pony thing.

“Fine. But you had better show me the way to town after this.”

Still wearing that same infuriating smirk, she said, “Don't worry about that, I'm a mare of my word.”, as he was trying not to let his eye twitch in irritation at the horrible pun, she continued with, “Who are you, then? You still haven't answered me.”

Giving a small sigh, he finally answered her question with, “You can call me Albus. Now can we go?”

Finally wearing something else on her face than that irritating smirk, she stopped his attempt to leave cold with a frown and, “You said you'd answer my questions, and I still have more. Why are you in Whitetail woods, for starters, and what was with that whole 'jumping over the stream dramatically' thing?”

Shit, she saw that. Can't tell her I don't know how to fly, she'd never let that go, I'm sure. Let's see...

“I thought we'd already clarified that I'm lost, which is why I'm accepting your help. As for the jumping thing, I sprained my wing a while back and was testing how well it could take my weight. It didn't work too well.”

Great, now I have an excuse not to have to try and fly to.... Ponyville, I think it was, with her.

Still frowning, she started to stare at him, as if to try and tell if he was lying. “Alright then, fine. Follow me, I'll be sure to fly slow enough for you to keep up. You can call me Dash, by the way.”

Giving a noncommittal grunt, he began to walk after Dash, who had set off into the trees.

I have a bad feeling about this...

Author's Note

Feedback! Give me feedback! I neeeeeed it!

Sorry if this chapter seems a bit dry. I'm not too experienced when it comes to writing dialogue.

I'd like to think that my first fanfic is going decently well, though.