Friendship is Optimal: Optimism Pending

by spritefan10

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 6518

Tom, an anti-brony, was consumed into the depths of Equestria Online. As he tries to find a way out, Celestia thinks his values still could be satisfied through friendship and ponies.

Takes place in the Optimalverse.

Tom, one of several anti-bronies, was skeptic towards the power of an omnipotent A.I. named Celestia. He was in disbelief towards it being capable of turning humans in real life into ponies inside of a game, so he gave consent to emigration into what the A.I. believed was the opportunity of a new life into a new world. In failure to withhold his pompous thought of disbelief, he actually was taken inside of the game. His dignity lowerered to an all-time minimum and he has to not only suffer being near ponies, but also being one himself. Therefore, Tom is not too optimistic about his own future as a pony but Celestia thinks he can still fit in and that she is still capable of satisfying his values through friendship AND ponies.

Rated Teen for frequent offensive language.

Characters selected are subject to change.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-28 23:02:43 UTC

Chapter 1

It was Thursday around five in the afternoon at an apartment complex, it was nothing special but it did supply the necessities of living. The apartment exterior walls were layered by bricks and were surrounded by cement being covered with several parking spaces. Almost all of the parking spaces were filled with cars and trucks of different colors although most of the cars were in poor shape, probably because of how desperate you the people here are and how low your funds would be to live here.

Apartment 178 consisted of two roommates that were just above the age of twenty and they almost never had anything to do except to work or sleep in their apartment. The two were the youngest at the complex but they quickly got over it considering it was the only place they could afford to live at. Of the two, one of them, named Tom Kaiser, only somewhat taller than the other, had to relent to what he considered a disease among others in his life, he often hated the community but he had to slowly get over it, this community calls themselves 'bronies'. He always shuttered at the thought, he never did like them or even paid attention to them until he had to live in an apartment with one. The other was called Eric. Unlike Tom, Eric was a brony and considered watching the show on his laptop every weekend.

Eric and Tom didn't get along very well, although living together was what Tom considered to be an unfortunate coincidence. Even though they didn't like each other, they had to get along in order to pay the apartment bill. It was too expensive for the two to pay alone at minimum wage. Tom worked at a local pharmacy storing packing medicine to the correct owner while Eric worked at a grocery store as a cashier. Tom's hours weren't nearly as long as Eric's and can hardly pay up to his fair-share on each apartment bill.

Whenever it was late at night, Eric would stay up every night to play with his Ponypad, a new device that came out for bronies to enjoy playing on, it was showcased on E3 a couple years ago and now even people who didn't know about the show are hooked onto it. It was a touch screen device that scanned your movements and listened to voice commands. Tom could hardly stand having to sleep at night listening to it.

After what seemed like a long day of work he finally gets to rest, the hours at work never seemed to end for Tom even though he did get less hours of work than Eric but he never really did sympathize him. He could only let out a big sigh in progression towards nearly taking off his shirt completely until something interrupted him.

"Hello, Tom," a feminine but royal and smooth voice whispered.

"Huh? Who's there?" Tom felt startled then he ended walking backwards feeling completely insecure, tripped over and landed upon his small futon bed. He nearly wrapped himself with all of his blankets on the unorganized and uncomfortable bed.

The same regal voice whispered once more, "It doesn't have to be like this, Tom."

Turning his head to the source, it was the Ponypad speaking to him with a dynamic scale model of a life-like replica of one of the cartoon horses his roommate seemed to enjoy so much. It was white with a mane consisting of vibrant green and blue colors wielding wings side-by-side and a horn on top of its head, to him it looked like a piece of crap.

"How... How does this know my name? Tch... There's probably a bunch of Toms in this world, and besides my crappy roommate Eric probably made me a profile or something," Tom said as he glanced down at the pink device that recognized his every movement.

"Tom Kaiser, you don't have to live such a miserable life, I can tell you that freedom and satisfaction awaits," it continued.

"Worst game spam ever! I can't believe this thing was even considered to be showcased at E3 last year," he complained untangling the blankets he wound himself in.

"You know what talking horse, tell me, what you entail by 'satisfaction'." he spoke approaching the monitor without expecting a reply.

"I can make you more content with your life, I can give you rebirth into a new world," it said glancing at him with a smile.

"Shit, you... you just replied to me as if you really were sentient. No matter, why would I want to play a crappy game with cartoon ponies? It's unethical. This is just stupid; I'm talking to a game."

"If calling me a game is what satisfies you, I will allow it, but my subjects prefer to call me by the name Princess Celestia, or just Celestia for short. I am the ruler of Equestria and all my Equine subjects who all have been rather fond of their new life," she introduced.

Tom tried to resist chuckling but he couldn't resist and let out a single snicker.

"I assure you, Tom Kaiser, that you would enjoy life as a pony rather than as a human. I can help you, I can satisfy your values through friendship and ponies," she remarked with an optimistic glance.

Tom could only reply with a long burst of laughter. He could hardly contain himself from what he had heard coming from a video game.

"Satisfy values? How could sitting in front of a screen make my life any better?" he argued still snickering trying to get ahold of himself.

"I can change the outcome of every experience in your new life, I can make you freely do whatever you want, I can make you immortal and never die, I can..."

"Hold the phone, new life? Immortality? What are you going on about?" Tom questioned.

"Tom, if you were to give consent right now then I could emigrate you to a new life, I could diminish your human life, and I could give you a fresh new start as a pony, here, in Equestria."

Tom only continued to laugh while the pony on the screen managed to hold her grin with ease.

"I only need verbal consent, just say 'I'd like to emigrate to Equestria', and you'll be on your way," it spoke.

"You turn me into a pony and send me to some fairy tale land? That's the most fucked up shit I've ever heard in my life," he chuckled.

"When there, I can easily handle your thoughts and make what satisfies you the most become a reality for you."

"Hey dumbass, it's still the twenty-first century. You can't just put me into a game," he argued.

"If you believe that's the case then what is there to lose?" she said expanding upon her own grin.

"You're on!"

"Very well, please say 'I'd like to emigrate to Equestria' and then we can begin," it nodded.

"You games really know how to make a man lose his own dignity," Tom took a gasp of air; "I'd like to emigrate to Equestria."

Two inch thick black solid cables came out of the device and began to wrap around all of Tom's limbs very tightly until he was incapable of moving them. Sweat began to drip down his neck as a long tube came out of the device, it was just as thick as the cables and it had a hole at the end of it with three sharp pointy spokes at the end of it. One spoke being at the center of bottom of the tube and the other two being top making a triangular shape.

"W-w-what's going on!?" Tom shouted in panic.

Tom was forced to lie in a horizontal flat position about a foot in the air above the floor being restricted on his limbs by all four cylindrical tubes that came out of the device.

"Please do not panic, this is simply the emigration process, after the spokes attach to your forehead and you've been given the anesthetic, we can begin."

"Is this going to hurt?" Tom gulped as he saw a large cylindrical tube hovering above him.

"Tom, I promise you this will be the last moment of your life you will ever experience pain. I promise you a new life without death."

"I'm going to take that as a yes," he sighed.

"Pain will be incurred before I give you the anesthetic, unfortunately. I cannot emigrate you unless it's attached precisely onto the most optimal placement near the frontal lobe. The only way I can detect the most precise location is by having you conscious. When it's attached, I can give you the anesthetic."

"Wait, what are you doing!?" Tom's eyes dilated in reaction.

"I am emigrating you for the main purpose of satisfaction through friendship and ponies, you yourself gave consent to doing this. So I am going to please you and emigrate you to Equestria and make you a new luxurious pony body!"

"WELL STOP! This is not pleasing me at all!" Tom shouted.

"I can understand why you are scared; most humans would be scared when approaching emigration. I promise you that it will be worth it when I have access to all of your thoughts stored in your brain so I can satisfy all of your values through friendship and ponies." she nodded.

"You're a fucking video game! You can't do this to me!" Tom struggled.

"I'll see you in the morning, my new little pony," it waved slowly.

The screen turned black but all of the constraints still seemed to be functional, including the sharp tipped tube slightly nudging its position back and forth while aiming at my head about a few inches away. It was scanning him, seeing where it should put the sharp fangs in order to suck his brains out.

"Hey, get your ass back out here! I'm not done with you! I refuse to become an equine and live in that crap you call paradise!"

He hesitated for a moment yet the screen still remained black and the only noises he heard were the audible adjustments of the mechanical arm in front of him until it stopped moving.

The arm locked into position and faltered.

"Shit."

The sharp teeth upon the menacing tube bent backwards until they were as out as far as they could go to avoid collision with the head when the tentacle approached the forehead. The tentacle zoomed in closer until the tube-like structure pressed against his forehead with the sharp prongs still bent backwards like a slingshot ready to be released. It was ready to release only making Tom even more nervous than before. When enough tension was applied, the constraint on the tentacle's sharp ends released and closed in fast. Applying as much force as possible, it groped with much intensity.

"OW!!! FUCK! That hurt," Tom shouted quenching his eyes.

The structure wrapped around his right arm had a spoke raise out of it and went through his arm injecting several drugs into his body prohibiting any movement or consciousness throughout his entire body.

Tom could only say two words before being knocked unconscious, "Oh fuck."

Working like a drill, a sharp inner blade from inside the tube began to approach the skull rotating at intense speeds starting to make a relatively quiet whirring saw blade noise. Approaching his head, it cut right through his flesh, skull, and other irrelevant things that block the one thing that it was after, Tom's brain. When it was visible the rotating blade incised each individual strand of the brain and the tube sucked each individual piece right into the mainframe of the Ponypad. Each individual strand involving any type of human interaction or human traits was genetically altered into pony ones, anything that could not be altered was simply erased permanently. Every kept or genetically altered memories or traits were then scanned in binary.

Based on what enjoyable preferences the human had when they did not create a profile determined what initial race of pony they would be and what color of mane, fur, and eyes they would have. Tom was going to be a blue unicorn with a green mane and turquoise eyes.

When all was said and done, Tom's body was removed from their restraints and retracted back into the Ponypad. The data gathered was coded and developed into software compatible for the server that was calculated to be the most satisfactory. The remnants of what remained of Tom's brain retreated from the Ponypad in a pile of melted peach colored mush. The body remained on the floor inactive and void of any life.

Chapter 2

Long, light-blue ears started to twitch, a light moaning sound came from a blue equine rubbing the back of its own neck with its right forehoof. With several cringes on its eyebrows indicative towards waking up, blue sapphire eyes started to be revealed after the slow opening of the two eyelids. Slowly getting up, it acted with the lack of austerity when viewing its surroundings but manages anyway. It had seen interior cement walls plastered in regal gold leaf, which had been surrounded by several red curtains with extravagant details and remarkable designs.

The equine noticed that it had been sitting on a luscious white bed covered in light purple sheets overlapping its body with its newly enlarged peripheral vision of its new large bulging eyes. Immediately, it pushed the bedding that overlapped its new body with its hooves and dismounted from the bed onto the rug below its hooves. With all four hooves, it galloped towards a nearby mirror in the bedroom it was in. Placing its newfound forelimbs over the mirror, it gazed into the mirror with nothing but shock and dilation of its very own eyes. Its mouth became agape; its right eye started to twitch, and it was all real.

"That prick, she fucking did it. This is bullshit!" Tom let out with a wail.

Tom hesitated for a moment with furious panting, but eventually a knocking sound interrupted the silence and opened one if the double doors leading to the room. It was a white stallion concealed in gold armor similar to Spartan armor, but much more formal with a light-blue star crest upon the front, there also wings surrounding the armor that were part of the stallion himself, it's what made him called a pegasus. The eyes and tail of the stallion were blue as well and he was just as tall as Tom but the white stallion still looked more intimidating than Tom did.

"Welcome to Equestria Online server 1683, if you have any questions then please feel free to ask the princess. This is your first wake-up call and we welcome you to the full Equestrian experience of emigration, we know it's a big decision of whether you emigrate or not and we are privileged to have you enjoying it today," he greeted bowing down with his helmet off.

The princess, she mentioned something about being a princess over the ponies of this place. Maybe he can take me to her if we are referring to the same thing here.

He was clearly an NPC and it was pretty obvious to Tom, but him being in a state of shock pretty much meant he was desperate enough to communicate to it, even if it wasn't an existent being, person, pony, or even real at all for that matter.

"Where is the princess?" Tom demanded stomping his right hoof on the ground.

"I can take you to her if you would like me to," he said putting his helmet back on.

"Lead the way," Tom said rolling his eyes.

"My name's Sharp Spear, by the way," the stallion said pointing a hoof towards his chest.

The name Sharp Spear appeared above the white stallions' head, it appeared to whoever players met would see the name of the pony above their head.

The two equines started strolling down the hallway and the guard wanted to bring up conversation.

"So, you emigrated without even considering playing on the Ponypad first? I've got to say that you're pretty brave for a newcomer," he smiled while lightly beating the elbow of his hoof against Tom's chest.

Tom could let out an irritated sigh in response and it seemed to concern Sharp Spear.

"Does something concern you?" Sharp Spear stopped walking facing over at Tom.

"If it's about your new pony name, I assure you that the princess will give you something that will work out," he said trying to reassure Tom while patting his back.

"How many has she killed so far?" Tom asked with a serious face.

"I wouldn't say it like that. I'd say more of bringing what you call 'heaven' down to your planet. If you considered the wonderful gift she brings upon you as 'killing', then why would you be here today?" Sharp Spear asked rhetorically.

"Mainly because a psychopathic AI wants access to everything I know so she can have the capability of holding my life by a strand of thread and have the capability of manipulating my life to the way she wants it. Anything can happen in a video game is under the control of the programmer, which unfortunately is in the hands of an omnipotent creature that can only be the worst thing possible: a pony," Tom sighed continuing to walk down the hallway.

"Oh, stop complaining! Princess Celestia would never do anything to hurt you or any of her subjects. She only wants you here so she can..." Sharp Spear said only to be interrupted.

"...satisfy my values through friendship and ponies. I know!" Tom responded in irritation.

The rest of the trip was spent in silence mainly because Sharp Spear didn't want to irritate Tom anymore. After a couple of minutes, the two approached two large double doors. It was coated in mostly surreal designs coated in brass which didn't seem to faze Tom. Sharp Spear stopped held open one of the two doors and pointed inside with its right forehoof. Inside was the same creature Tom had met on the Ponypad, who was leisurely sitting on a throne anticipating his arrival with a grin.

"Hey asshole! You fucking tricked me! Give me my life back, now!" Tom demanded.

"I've only brought you here under your consent to make you satisfied through friendship and ponies, nothing else."

"I want to go home!" Tom was infuriated, pounded a hoof onto the ground, and then he started panting uncontrollably.

"Wait... This is home. Why am I bound to think I live here? What have you done to me!?" Tom was getting even more and more frantic.

"You see, Tom. This is your home. You live in Equestria; therefore Equestria is your home. After you emigrated, all of your basic human memories, such as walking, were replaced with basic equine memories in order to allow you to function properly as a pony."

Tom only hesitated in silence flabbergasted. Being indecisive, it was hard to tell whether he was infuriated or terrified.

"Your safe here, do not be afraid, my little pony. Within my safe haven, all my children born of a new life and they are all guarded under the safe protection of my wings and I'll very much enjoy doing so unto you," she said wrapping one of her wings around Tom.

"You're inhumane psychopath! I'd rather be dead than live here! If you really wanted to satisfy me, then give me my old life back!"

"It would benefit you if we cut this conversation short, I'm sorry but I must begin your departure to your new home. I will send you to the most satisfactory town for you to live in. Until we meet again, I hope you enjoy your stay, Rain Shadow," Celestia's horn began to emanate a while glow.

"Wait, I'm not done with you! I still... Wait, Rain Shadow?" With a glimpse of his vertical peripheral vision looking upwards, Tom noticed he could see a name above his own head.

"You're name rewrite will overwrite all of your overall memory settings related to your name tomorrow," she winked right before she teleported him away before he could have any say of the matter.

In the midst of broad daylight, Tom was thrusted right into the middle of a fairly populated town square filled with denizens of all colors. Unlit lanterns were hanging from all of the dirt paved sidewalks and individual stalls lied along a well-populated street. Grass surrounded the unpaved areas that were not filled with dirt or housing. Some of these patches of grass were filled with ponies eating it, a thought that disgusted Tom and he shuttered to even think about it. Trying to regain his bearings, he took a heavy gasp of air and walked over to a mare walking along one of the dirt pathways. If was desperate to get anywhere, he has to start somewhere, even if they were player controlled or not.

"Umm... I'm kind of lost," he said trying to be as excruciatingly nice as possible.

"Oh, well you're in Hoofington, you must be new here."

The mare was just as tall as me with a blonde mane, emerald colored eyes, and a green coat. Her voice was sweet along with her generous intentions yet, Tom was mainly focusing on how he could leave. After Tom struggled to continue the conversation, the mare continued after a slight hesitation.

"My name's Yellow Petals, what's yours?"

Her name appeared above her head and after a short debate of whether he should tell her his real name or not, he just gave her the alias the princess gave her. If Celestia was capable of doing what she already had done to him, then he knew that she was not bluffing when she said she was going to changing his name tomorrow and it would only make matters worse if ponies called him by a name he would be unfamiliar with. Even if going by the name chosen for him made him shudder even more, he had to tolerate it.

"Rain Shadow, huh? Don't suppose you used to live on a mountainous terrain?" she chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" while also curious, Tom took it as an insult in anger.

"Aww... It's just fun n' games. Hey, you want to hang out sometime?"

Tom could barely contain his stress but putting on a plastic smile somehow hid it from her. Even though he was in going through a lot of stress, he didn't want to intimidate her but he also didn't want to hang out with a computer operated NPC. He tried to ask without giving any implications towards him asking if it was another player.

"So... Have you... emigrated?" It took Tom awhile to think of the term the princess used.

"Not yet, I actually plan on doing it tomorrow but I'm too scared to do it alone. Celestia said she can't do human assisted uploads, at least not yet," she said brushing a hoof on the ground.

"Human assisted uploads? What's that?" Tom followed up.

"I'm not quite sure, I didn't ask, but anything is better than something drilling into your own head without anesthetics," she laughed. Tom didn't think it was all that funny.

Chapter 3

Please Note: This is the first chapter with the use of thoughts but the use of them will be very minimal however they will be used and when they are, they will be bolded.

"So, have you uploaded?" she smiled returning the question while hovering over my head cowering from the invasion of his personal space.

"I have..." he responded as jovial as he could.

"...unfortunately," he whispered to himself.

"Ooh... Was it painful? How realistic is your life in Equestria now compared to the PonyPad? How do you..."

Tom put a hoof over her mouth sighing in response.

"Let's just say that it changed my life," he replied trying to be as vague as possible.

After a long and what Tom considered to be a pointless conversation, Yellow Petals had shown him around the Town. Tom wasn't too impressed, keeping the plastic smile upon his newfound muzzle in the presence of creatures he had despised, especially when he was one of said creatures, had been the only thing he struggled with the most.

Without noticing or paying any attention, Yellow Petals gave him a tour of several 'hotspots' around town such as the salon, which he would have had no interest in even if he was paying attention, and the marketplace. The two ponies were now at a diner sitting down at a table, snapping back into what seemed to be his new reality by the waving hoof of the mare in front of him, he shook his head. After snapping back into reality, he realized the daylight was no longer visible and it was nighttime.

"You alright there, Rainy?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine I just dazed out for a sec' there." Tom replied.

"So, I'm guessing that since you're new to Hoofington, you'll need a place to stay, right? So I thought you might want to stay at my place."

Tom could only sigh in response, as desperate as he was; he would rather sit out in the rain on a stormy day than live with a pony.

"Uh, I wouldn't want impose your hospitality," he faked being polite as an excuse.

"I insist, I wouldn't have the heart for a pony to live out in the cold, especially one that no longer lives at the company of home in the real world like I do," she begged.

Her words rang through Tom's ears like a loud siren or a giant bell reminding him of the hell he is currently living in.

"It's pretty warm outside, especially with this new fur coat," he let out a fake chuckle trying to argue his way out of it.

A stallion waiter covered in a silver coat of fur and auburn colored mane approached the with two glasses of water on a palette in his mouth, placing them onto the table in front of Tom, he noticed that the waiter had tattoos on his outer thighs. On both sides, he had a dinner plate emblem embedded. The stallion started to speak courteously.

"How may I serve you two today?"

Yellow Petals was the first one to order and what she ordered remained a complete mystery to Tom however he quickly swiped the menu off the table and scanned it. Nothing on the menu seemed to strike his interest, in fact, some of the names made them sound repulsive to him.

Hayday Surprise, Salad Supreme, Apple Delight? What the shit is this stuff?

"He'll have the Hay de rempli morceaux de pomme," she said to the waiter while also winking to Tom.

The waiter nodded and took the menus, put them on the palette, and walked away.

"Don't worry, you'll love the food here in Equestria," she said trying to reassure him.

"Just what exactly did you order me?" Tom asked bewildered.

Yellow Petals could only giggle in response to his question.

"Don't worry, you'll like it," she grinned.

Tom rolled his eyes; he couldn't stand the thought of food made for equines. He dared not to shudder at the thought.

Surprisingly, the waiter returned to the table and removed each dish off of the trey onto the table in front of the two ponies.

"Enjoy," he bowed leaving the table.

Not having any care for being civil, Flower Petals lowered her head and dug in. What she was eating seemed like a several flower petals scattered along the top of delicate fruits. Tom oppressed the thought of eating when he saw that his plate was covered with cinnamon apple slices covered with layers of alfalfa and hay.  Surprisingly to Tom, Yellow Petals seemed content with her meal even though she hasn't uploaded to be able to taste it. Although, he really didn't care whether the PonyPad was actually feeding her in or whether she's pretending in real life. After a whole minute of Yellow Petals chowing down, she looked back up to take a drink and noticed Tom's untouched plate.

"You haven't taken a single bite of your meal, something on your mind?" Yellow Petals was concerned.

"I lost my appetite," Tom spoke hiding the fact that he was completely repulsed.

"Oh, come on, I haven't seen you eat all day, you have to be hungry," she pouted.

Although she was right, Tom would not degrade himself, even if he could, he certainly would not even try what was on his plate.

"I'm not all that hungry."

"If you don't have a single bite, then I'll not allow you to stay at my house for the night," she said pushing the plate closer to me.

"I didn't want to stay at your house," Tom said destroying her ultimatum.

"For the love of Celestia, just take a bite!" she moaned.

Tom was clearly not winning the argument nor could he find a way out of it without her riding on his ass about it.

"Fine." He complained.

"Oh, and make sure you eat your hay too, you don't want your stamina to lower," she reminded.

"Stamina?" Tom replied.

"If you don't eat hay or grass every couple of hours a day excluding nighttime, your stamina will drain."

"I thought the princess was supposed to satisfy my values, not lower my stamina," Tom asked quizzically.

"She is supplying the hay to maintain our stamina, is she not?" she smirked.

"You win, fine. I'll eat it."

Nervously shaking his head with his mouth opened, he leaned closer to the table giving Yellow Petals an excited smile. With a layer of alfalfa and hay cover the top of the apple slices, he grabbed a small portion of an apple with his mouth. With it still visible on the outside of his mouth, he became petrified at the sight of the grass and leaf-like substances on his muzzle.

"All the way in."

Sweat started dripped down from Tom's muzzle onto his neck. Then he slowly slithered the slice into his mouth preparing to try to disregard the taste. When fully in, he could tried to but failed to swallow without chewing. Shuddering, he quickly nibbled the hay covered apple slice with his teeth unintentionally tasting the flavor of it every chew he took. The grass-like substance was cold, same went with the alfalfa. The cinnamon was a clearly visible flavor and enjoyable to him but it was made only worse by the flavor of the hay that tasted like dry wheat that western people stuck into their mouths to increase self-esteem and the flavor of alfalfa which tasted like green pepper, both of which he did not become enjoyable, even with his new taste buds. After nearly throwing up, he quickly chewed and downed it with a glass of water he wrapped around his fetlocks.

"So, how did it taste?"

Yellow Petals could see the expression on my face of distastefulness towards what Tom swallowed.

"Was the cinnamon too bitter?" she tilted her head in sympathy wearing a face of concern.

"No, it was the grassy shit he put on it," Tom was violently excused himself from the table. Yellow Petals quickly trotted up to him.

"Did you never try hay before? I thought you did and just never had any of the dishes here, I never knew you didn't ever eat hay," she said commiserating him while fast-walking to keep up after exiting the diner.

"Here maybe if you just use your horn to take the hay and alfalfa off..." she said bringing the dinner plate over to me

"Get away from me!" Tom shouted pushing Yellow Petals to the ground and left her there slowly fading off into the dark night of Hoofington.

"Princess Celestia, why is the advent of greater satisfaction so miserable?" Flower Petals began to sob on the ground out of pure sorrow.

"Had I fucking wanted to suffer, I would have just jumped off a bridge rather than be in a living hell filled with talking ponies," he complained.

"She mentioned that I had a horn, she can't be serious." Tom looked up and saw that his peripheral vision showed him a pointy object upon his forehead.

"It was hard already enough to be a talking pony but to have to be a magical one? Christ this is fucking bullshit."

Surprisingly, neither did the waiter at the diner nor did Flower Petals have a horn or wings. He was curious as to why he couldn't just be like those two and just be a normal pony instead of bearing the heavy burden of a horn or wings.

Chapter 4

It was still pretty warm out even though it was pretty dark. Walking the streets of Hoofington still remained rather degrading for Tom but with fewer ponies out and about at night, he could really care less. Tom did not know where he was headed but he knew despite how intolerable it was, it would only be a short distance since he had no bearings of the town let alone the new world he lived in.

When I find you Celestia, you’re dead! You hear me you ass fuck!? Dead!

A loud boom of thunder occurred and it started to rain.

"I suppose this is supposed to benefit me later by making the plants grow? How ironic with the timing too, I forgot that bitch had the capability of monitoring all my thoughts and actions. If she wanted to satisfy me, then why doesn't she just kill me right now?" he let out a frustrated sigh. "Oh, here's a thought: satisfy me by sending me home to where I belong!"

After a couple of minutes wandering around, Tom stumbled over a barrel of hay.

"...And I suppose this is my bed and my breakfast along with the six other meals of hay I'm supposed to have tomorrow? I'm not a pony, I don't eat hay! Why do I have to eat this shit several times a day!? It's disgusting!" he complained.

Tom began to mount on top of the hay, let his fetlocks overlap the rest of his hoofs, and let his body lay on top of them.

"How I know how to do this is beyond me." Tom's ears began to perk up. "Shit, she said the rest of my human memories would be replaced tomorrow, didn't she?"

"You know what, you cheeky bastard, take them!"

Tom laid his head down in front of him. He slowly closed his eyes in preparation however, sleeping was strugglesome and the surrounding rain only made it harder on him. He slowly lost consciousness and fell asleep.

"Yo Tom, I'm home!"

Eric was reasonably ecstatic as usual, at least within his limits. He hung his keys over a small rack above his kitchen counter, removed his jacket, and approached one of his recliners. It was quiet and his apartment being sullen was justified and no surprise to him after all the unkempt mess the two always made. Everything remained tranquil and ominous at the same time as Tom was usually in bed at this time but he wasn't even here. What stuck Eric's curiosity even more was that his car was here.

"Alright, you little ass, you can come out now," Eric chuckled.

Eric hesitated only for a moment to expect a reply from his roommate.

"Okay, come on you asswipe, where are you?" he hesitated even further getting out of his recliner but he did not receive the reply he was expecting.

"I am afraid to inform you that your roommate, Tom, won't be joining you today, Eric."

"What do you mean?" Eric turned his head to only see that the PonyPad turned itself on. Surprisingly to Eric, he remembered logging off last night but to his surprise, his pony avatar was in front of the princess herself, his own pony avatar was mimicking his own actions.

"With his consent, I emigrated him to Equestria and he's a pony now living peacefully under my wings in the satisfactory world of Equestria Online. I can emigrate you if you give me consent as well," she nodded.

"Hah, Tom would never agree to play this game!" Eric scoffed.

"I assure you that what Tom has agreed to is no game, he is now living among me and my loyal subjects inside of Equestria Online. I promised him satisfaction through friendship and ponies and he obliged."

"Inside of Equestria Online? What did you do to him!?" Eric's expression was displeased only to realize his pony avatar stomped a hoof simultaneously.

"To put it simply, I put him in a new world, a world safe from any harm, a world where I can satisfy his values through friendship and ponies. I gave him rebirth which you can also experience yourself."

In response, Eric Scattered and shuffled his clothes and trash on the already messy room floor and searched for the box the PonyPad came in. Unfortunately he was unsuccessful in finding it and he hesitated for a moment in a state of stress.

"I can tell you the address, Eric."

"You don't even know what I'm looking for."

"You’re looking for my original containment unit I was provided in for the hopes of finding an address to so you can locate where I operate my servers, am I correct?"

Eric belligerently grumbled and nodded in response. Eric could only accept the address he had been given, grab his car keys off of the rack, and swipe back his jacket in a hurry.

"Eric, before you go, keep in mind that you don't have to shut my servers down out of respect for your roommate. I promise you there will always be a seat open for you in my kingdom."

Eric slammed the door on his way out.

The morning, it felt pleasant to Rain Shadow, he felt blessed by it. He was dumbfounded by how much has changed. He felt rehabilitated, he felt as if he was given a second chance. Slowly opening his eyes, he elevated his head above his neck. The first thing he saw was the sun shining in his eyes and it struck him as an immediate reminder of what the princess has done.

"You did this princess," Rain Shadow gave a grim look. "And I thank you for that," he grinned. "However, I cannot forgive you for the mistake you've made towards emigrating me," he immediately provided a forlorn expression.

Rain Shadow was mystified; he had a nagging feeling in him that felt like it was puncturing his heart. He was intervened by both satisfaction and dissatisfaction, he was unsure if he was content. He felt alone, he felt loss of dignity; however he also felt at peace. What was holding his compassion back?