A Friendly Visitby Haybales22ChaptersA Simple Visit They Said...The Meet and GreetNot the Whole TruthWake up CallDeereOver-Exaggeration by RarityAll Apologies1 Year Later:Awkward Much?A Simple Visit They Said...Haybales walked along the dirt path pulling her wooden cart behind her. The rectangular lumps within which gave her her name were becoming increasingly heavy as the heat of the day wore on. "Why wasn't I born a unicorn?" she thought to herself, "Then i could just magic the feed to Ponyville." But alas, she was a pegasus, and a beautiful one as well, with her pink coat, which was perfectly groomed earlier but was now caked with dirt and dust, her blonde mane and tail, her large blue eyes and thick lashes, her pink wings, tucked at her sides as she pulled the cart behind her, and of course her cutie mark. The three alfalfa blossoms upon her flank. One blue, one purple and one pink, with green stems. As she walked along in the hot sun, she thought about her cutie mark. It had been quite a while since she earned it, almost 10 years! At age 8, just a young filly, she had brought in the farm's largest crop of alfalfa, ever! She stopped for a drink from the water pouch she carried, checked her map to make sure she was going the right way, and carried on. She was slightly concerned about getting lost. She hadn't been in Ponyville in a while. Usually her brother, Deere, made deliveries, but Fluttershy distinctly asked for her this time. She wasn't going to argue, she'd wanted to go to Ponyville for quite some time. She needed to buy a few things, and kept her bits safely stored under a mound of straw to keep it safe. She trotted for about a half hour before coming to a sign proclaiming, "Welcome to Ponyville: Home of the Elements of Harmony and the Best Young Flyer Champion 2010". Seemed like a nice enough town. She walked in the direction the sign pointed and eventually wound up in the middle of the town. She looked at the clock on town hall. "12:38... Damnit!" She galloped to the cafe named 'the Tea Garden', un-hitched her cart and stepped inside. She was breathing heavily, and was very extremely dirty. a voice cried out, "OH DEAREST ME!" in a British accent, and a white coated purple maned unicorn fled the scene with a disapproving glance. She looked to the ground sheepishly, which is a good trick for a pony, and then looked up, scanning the room for a certain pink maned pegasi. "Fluttershy!" she called, upon seeing her meek cousin. "Haybales..." she heard, in what could only be described as intense excitement for Fluttershy. They embraced briefly before sitting down to cold tea and biscuits. Haybales dug into the biscuits hungrily, as she hadn't eaten since 6 am that morning. "I'm so sorry they're cold, cousin," whispered Fluttershy, "its just that you were, you know, late..." Haybales looked to her cousin and wiped the crumbs from her chin. "So sorry 'Shy, I came as quick as i could." " Oh, its ok, its no trouble, I'm sorry I doubted you Haybales." The pegasus smiled and tousled the younger's hair. "No Fluttershy, its my fault." They finished their meager lunch and left the cafe. After Fluttershy insisted on pulling the cart, seeing as how she'd already traveled across Equestria already, they were off. Rarity stormed into the carousel boutique. She was completely disgusted by the way some ponies could act. Come into a civilized, sanitary place of business and germ it up with dust and dirt and sweat. The nerve. She trotted up the stairs to take a relaxing bath. Maybe that could help her forget about the dirty pegasus... Haybales and Fluttershy rounded the last corner before the cottage, and started to unload the hay, straw oats and of course, alfalfa, the ranch's main export. fluttershy threw the bag of bits into Haybales's suitcase and put it in the house, before returning to the cart and making their way to Sweet Apple Acres, the site of the next delivery. Somepony named 'Applebloom' ordered some straw bales for "unconventional reasons", whatever that meant. They pulled up to the farm, and Fluttershy started going on about her friends, one of which lived here. Haybales went off in search of this Applebloom pony, or anypony at all really. She found an elderly green mare sitting in a rocking chair near the house, peeling apples. "Excuse me ma'am," the mare looked up, "but do you know of anyone named Applebloom who lives or works here?" The mare just pointed towards the barn, where a series of small explosions sounded. The pony walked towards the barn door, unsure of what would be found inside... She opened the doors to find a group of fillies working on small engines, and a large red stallion instructing him. She walked towards the stallion, thinking he was the one the order had come for. "Excuse me?" she questioned, and was met by half-closed eyes of the most sparkling green she had ever seen. she was suddenly at a loss for words. the sleepy eyes opened to fully awake and stared at her. "Yup?", the stallion responded. "Umm... Are you," she checked her list, "Applebloom?" The stallion chuckled. "Oh celestia what was i thinking!", she thought, "Applebloom is a FILLIE'S name!" "Nope." answered the stallion. "I'm Big Mac.", he nodded towards a yellow filly underneath the only running engine. "She's Applebloom." After commencing with the delivery of the straw bales, which turned out to be for archery practice, and hearing a cheer as she walked away, "Cutie Mark Crusaders, ARCHERS!!!", she thought about the stallion as she and Fluttershy walked to the farm house. Fluttershy's friend, Applejack, who happened to be Big Macintosh and Applebloom's sister, invited them to stay for dinner. Haybales was self-concious, but that all went out the window at the discovery that she wasn't the grubbiest pony at the table. The three fillies were covered in grease, dirt and motor oil.the only parts of them that were clean were their front hooves, their mouthes, and strangly their flanks. She dug into the delicious dinner of apple soup, apple bread and for dessert, apple crisp, all washed down with, you guessed it, grape juice. "Wait, what?", asked Haybales increduously. Big Mac chuckled. "One gets tired of apples after eating nothing but apples for their entire lives." he explained quietly. Fluttershy's friend, the orange mare, looked at him in something between shock and wonder. "Mac, you never speak in full sentences! Whatsa matter with ya?", she asked, somewhat rudely. Mac looked annoyed. "Well sister, sometimes one wishes to use proper grammar when in the company of a beautiful mare." He looked to Haybales, who blushed, which is difficult to do when you're pink to begin with. They laughed together and ate of the apple meal, and drank grape juice. Rarity left the house after a few hours of dressing up and primping herself. Although she was a pony of high society, she did have responsibilities, such as picking up her sister from Applejack's place. She certainly wasn't looking forward to the half-mile walk, but it was a sacrifice she would have to make. Oh well. She set out, and immediately started thinking about all the stallions who could substitute for a wealthy prince, provided that Prince Blueblood remained spoken for by some stallion in Canterlot. She complained out loud. " What stallion would want another stallion, when he could have the lovely Rarity Belle?", and immediately crashed into a sweaty, smelly, dirty ball of wings and pink and yellow fur. "EEEEEEEK!!!!" she shrieked, right into the things delicate ears. "OOOOOOOOOW!!!" the thing exclaimed. A silent yell came from Fluttershy, who thought some sort of monster was attacking her beloved cousin. Rarity untangled herself from the pony and greeted fluttershy. She was dimly aware that this was the same pony who had burst into the cafe that afternoon. With a haughty sniff, she bid Fluttershy farewell, and continued on her way, not questioning the smell of apples and grapes on them. Author's Note My first fan-fic. Don't laugh! Featuring my OC and some other ponies. This story will also feature some mares acting seriously bitchy. Who would've thought ponies could be bitches? The Meet and GreetHaybales woke up with a dry mouth, dirty hair and a sore stomach. After jumping in the tub to wash her fur, she made a breakfast of pancakes and haybacon for Fluttershy and herself. Fluttershy had already began to plan the whole day's activities, and was very excited for Haybales to meet all of her friends. She started to talk about them. "Theres Applejack, you met her last night, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbowdash, she won Equestria's Best Young Flyer Competition, and Pinkie Pie, oh, here she is now!" At this point, Pinkie Pie decided to make an entrance by popping out of a hole in the ground, as is natural for Pinkie Pie. "Oh hello there! *gasp* Are you new to Ponyville? You must be because I know everypony in Ponyville and I've never seen you before! Do you know Fluttershy? You two look similar! *GASP* ARE YOU TWO SISTERS?!?!? Fluttershy, you never told me you had a sister! Either way, I'm going to throw a party for you! A 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! And a 'Congratulations on having a Sister' party for Fluttershy! oh dear, is there enough time for two parties? If I hurry there is! Good bye!!!!" And with that the bouncing pink pony disapeared before Haybales could tell her her name or even make any motion to greet her. She looked to Fluttershy and then immediately started rolling on the ground laughing, getting her cleaned coat dirty again. After the laughing fit was over, they continued their walk. 'Fluttershy," inquired Haybales, "You said you had five friends, you've mentioned four. whos the fifth?" Fluttershy cocked her head and looked at haybales. "I thought you already knew Rarity. We met her last night, remember?" Haybales thought back to the night previous and remmbered crashing into a pony on the way back from the apple farm. "Well, maybe we should go apologize for bumping into her the other night." Rarity woke up fashionably late to hear a loud knocking on her front door. "We are currently closed!" she yelled from her bed. More knocking ensues. " I said that we are closed!" she yelled again, this time with a hint of annoyance in her voice. *knock knock knock* Rarity ran down the stairs, ripped open the door and screamed, "WHAT!?!?!?" She then saw Fluttershy standing there, preparing to knock. Rarity apologized profusely before recognizing the pink pegasus standing behind her. "Oh. And you brought your," *cue look of disdain* "Friend..." Fluttershy introduced the mares and smiled, thinking she had made a set of new friends. They decided to look at all the dresses while they were there and while Rarity got ready to accept guests. Haybales looked at a few dresses, but didnt find anything to her tastes. "Doesn't she make anything good?" A rather loud throat clearing came from the top of the staircase, indicating that Rarity had heard her comment. She obviously chose to ignore her, and only acknowledged her when Fluttershy made them shake hooves. They left shortly after and went to Cloudsdale to visit this "Rainbow Dash" pony, apparently Fluttershy's best friend. They walked most of the way there and did as little flying as they could, because Haybales knew about Fluttershy's bad flying. so then they met Rainbow Dash and learnt how to make rainbows. Fluttershy had heard this speech hundreds of times, and so had Haybales, but 'Shy never seemed to get tired of hearing it. And after a long day in Cloudsdale, they returned home to the cottage. And immediately recieved a full on party cannon to the face. Pinkie Pie had turned the cabin into an absolute war zone. There were streamers, balloons, confetti and ponies all over the cabin. It looked as if all of Ponyville turned up for this party. "Pinkie has really outdone herself this time", whispered Fluttershy. Haybales couldnt hear over the dubtrot the DJ was playing, and was scanning the crowd for familliar faces. The pair walked through the foyer into the den, where they saw two banners hanging from the ceiling. "Welcome to Ponyville ________", read Haybales. she laughed, remembering how they had met the crazy pony. "Congrats on Finding Your Long Lost Sister" murmured Fluttershy. She giggled and politely stepped aside as a gang of stallions walked over to read the banners. Haybales decided to get some punch or sometinhg from the kitchen, while Fluttershy hid in an upstairs closet. Haybales walked among the dancing ponies in search of a certain big red stallion. 'He has to be here,' she thought. 'This Pinkie Pie pony invited the whole town, why exclude one pony?' She finally saw him, and started walking calmly towards him. He was drinking cider with a group of stallions, she could almost smell the cider- "HOW DO YOU LIKE THE PARTY?!?! FUN HUH? HUH? HUH!?!?" A certain pink party pony popped up in front of her and scared the Be-Luna out of her. "Pinkie! What the hay is-" "BUT DO YOU LIKE THE PARTY!?!?!?" demanded Pinkie. "Umm ya its great, I guess." Pinkie's afro immediately deflated with the sound of air being let out of a balloon. "You dont like it..." she sighed. "No no no!!!" Haybales gasped quickly, "I love it, its just i dont know that much about parties. You're the expert here! " Pinkies mane puffed up with an audible pop and she bounced away happily. Haybales blew into her forelock and looked back at Big Mac, who was talking to that Rarity filly. "I need more punch for this." groaned Haybales, and returned to the kitchen in search of some sort of pony equivalent of booze. Author's Note Be-Luna: Pony version of Be-jesus Not the Whole TruthFluttershy woke up in a closet, which happened more often than you would think it would. She attempted to open the door, but found that there was somepony blocking the door. By the sound of the snores, they were defineatly asleep, or passed out drunk. Probably both. She settled in for a long wait in a closet... Haybales woke up warm, in the soft embrace of a large stallion, which didnt happen as often as you would think it would. She had no intentions of moving, wanting the caress to never end, but knew it would at some point be necessary. From what she could see, the cottage was utterly destroyed, or at least the den was. Red solo cups, glasses, napkins, garbage, and ponies lay strewn across the floor; crushed, broken, ripped, dirty and passed out. By the way Mac was snoring, he was gonna be out for a while. she looked at the many bottles and disposable cups beside him, some of which had "Big M" written across the side so they didnt get the cups mixed up. She could smell the cider on his breath, sweet, sour and musky. She snuggled in closer for another nap. Rarity had seen the two farm ponies fall asleep on the couch and her plan gained motion. She had went home earlier than others, wanting not to be drowsy for the execution of this master scheme. For a high-class pony she could really hold her liquor. She smiled, knowing that the only other pony who could drink as much as her had not gone to the party that evening. She bathed, brushed, dressed and styled, and when ready, set out at a brisk walk. Her destination: Sweet Apple Acres. "HE DID WHAT?!?!?!?" screamed the orange mare in an outrage. "I'm telling you Applejack, he slept with that cousin of Fluttershy's. The one with that little cart of animal feed. Ande he invited her to that dubtrot concert in Los Pegasus." explained Rarity in that innocent tattle tail voice she has. Appkejack was appalled "He knew damn well those tickets were for Applebloom and her friends!" Rarity smiled knowingly, "Well, you do know how stallions think, with their 'little head'" Applejack pounded her fist into her hoof in rage. I'm gonna get that stallion, and show him what for! Wake up CallBig Macintosh was beingroughly shaken from a lovelydream. He was in the back of a carriage with Miss Haybales. They reached in for a kiss- "GET UP YA LAZY BASTARD!" And a hoof slapped him across the face. He woke with a start, then jumped again to find who woke him. "Applejack," he whispered, not wanting to wake his sleeping friend, "what the hay are you doing here?!?" Haybales snuggled in deeper, and turned a little at the sound. "Ah would ask ya the same thing Brother!" Applejack was obviously pissed, and did her best to show it. She walked outside, motioning for Big Mac to follow her. Mac detached himself from the pink pegasus and walked outside, leaving her on the loveseat. As soon as he closed the door- "WHAT THE HAY IS WRONG WITH YA?!?!? GOING AROUND WITH EVERY PRETTY MARE YA SEE, IS THAT IT?!?!? HUH?!?!?" Mac backed against the wall of the cottage, confused, disoriented, and with a raging headache. What the hay was she talink about? He tried to think of an answer to her question, and he came up with the perfect answer: "Nope." he stated simply. The orange mare stared at him for a moment then groaned and flung her hooves to the sky. "Rarity told me that you were sleepin' with this cousin of Fluttershy's, and ya gave away the tickets to that show we were takin' the girls to. What the hay were ya thinkin', Mac?" She cocked her head, waiting for some kind of answer. The big red farm pony sighed and told her everything, as well as he could remember. "Well, Rarity told ya the truth, sorta. We fell asleep on the couch during the party, nothing more, but we were talking about dubtrot before that. You did say that you didnt wanna go, and that i could take a friend if i wanted in your place, so I told her about the concert, and said she was welcome to tag along." Applejack face-hooffed and shook her head. "By a friend, I meant another stallion. Like Nuts, or Bolts. One of your stallion friends. Not your filly-friend." She looked him up or down. He did look like he was tired, and if they had "slept together", they wouldnt have done it on the couch. She decided he was telling the truth, for now, but made a mental note to talk to Rarity about this. they walked home together, Applejack not letting Mac say goodbye to his "filly-friend. Haybales woke up alone in the den. By "alone", she meant alone on the loveseat. The floor was still covered in drunken, sleeping ponies, and Big Mac was nowhere to be found. She searched the entire cottage before deciding he must have left. She went back to her room, which she had locked before hoof, and with a crick in her neck and a serious case of bed-mane, she lay on the bed. Thinking about Big Mac and the dubtrot concert, she drifted off to sleep. Fluttershy woke to the sound of opening and closing doors. she did her best to call out, but had to be quiet so as not to desturb the ponies in the room. "Hello?" she whispered softly, "Can anypony hear me?" They evidently couldnt, so she settled back into her pile of sweaters and boots, and prepared for a long wait. DeereDeere walked along the path. Sweating, tired, and with stiff cramped wings, he pulled the cart behind him. It wasnt a heavy cart, sure it had a years worth of straw loaded onto it, but magic is a powerful thing. A lightening spell had made the bales of straw as light as clouds. There was more feed that was to be delivered to various farms and restaurants, but he had already teleported all of it to his cousin's home. He levitated his hat off his head to fan himself, then immediately realized his mistake and jammed it back onto his head. He looked around to see if anypony saw him. The path was empty, but he ran anyways. The brown stallion had a secret, and he didnt want anypony to know. You see, Deere is and was the only naturally born alicorn male in existance. A wing potion given to male unicorns will turn them into a hideous monster, like discord. A horn potion given to male pegasi will strip them of their wings. Nopony in equestria, save his parents, doctor, sister and Princess Celestia, know about his horn. He was born in Cloudsdale, but his parents not wanting to give up their son to be a prince, ran to Appaloosa. Both his parents being pegasi, nopony could explain this peculiar miracle, and nopony really wanted to. All his parents cared about was their son being healthy, happy and growing up to be a good farmer. So he grew his mane long and curly, but it wasnt enough to hide it. So he wore a large cowboy hat in order to hide the offending horn. Although he was technically a prince and a god, he didnt want to claim his throne or his "godliness" . His parents had told Celestia, and she agreed to let him live his life as he chose. She also had said he was the God of the Farm and Growing. His cutie mark was 3 stalks of grain. One wheat, one oat, and one canola, similar to his sister's 3 blossoms of alfalfa. He usually wore coveralls to hide this mark. He continued his journey, and at long last came to Ponyville. Not knowing the exact location of Fluttershy's home, so he decided to ask for directions. He stopped at the nearest building he could see; a large shop which was designed to look like a merry-go-round. He unhitched, then walked inside to see if the proprietor knew of Fluttershy. He opened the door, and was met with a massive blast of airconditioning. He heard somepony trotting down the steps, and held onto his hat, which was trying to escape in the breeze. "Hello there, darling," he heard a British accent say, "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! I am Rarity." A white and purple-maned pony stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of this grubby, dusty and sweaty pony. Her look was of disgust for a fleeting second, then she put on a forced smile for him. "And what can i help you with, Darling?" You could hear the fake politeness in her tone. "I-" But Deere was cut off at his hat making a desperate escape in the wind! He tried to grab it, but it was too quick. The cowboy hat was then caught by the breeze of the air conditioner, and was ripped off of his head. He covered his head with one hoof and ran after his hat. The hat was captured in a blue glow and flew over to him. "Move your hoof darling," said Rarity. Deere had no choice but to move his hoof and hope she didnt see either his horn or his wings. "Well," gasped Rarity, "If you are a unicorn, couldnt you have caught the hat yourself? Wait a minute... " She walked around him, AND DISCOVERED WINGS!!!! "You... Youre a..." Deere prepared for the bows and hoof kissing and praise and all hail prince deere shit. "YOU'RE A PRINCE!!!" Rarity exclaimed. "SHHHH!" Deere hushed, "I'm on uh..." he racked his brain for an excuse. "Royal business! ya I'm on royal business. Going undercover. So you cant tell anypony that I'm an alicorn, ok?" Rarity looked amazed, "Oh of course Prince- I mean... ummm...." she realized she didnt know his name. "The names Deere, John Deere." he'd always wanted to say that! Stole the quote from an old Hay Blond movie, his favorite secret agent pony. "Oh of course, Prince Deere. Oh." she realized her snafu. "Just Deere please?" he tried to get her to understand the concept. "Of course, Deere." gasped Rarity. She batted her lashes and puffed her chest out. Oh celestia, he thought, Not the "adoring fan who has a crush on me." Author's Note Deere is based on my brother, Austin, who is a large fan of the John Deere tractor company, and we own a large number of their tractors and equipment. I am most certainly not going to write a clopfic about any of my characters, and if i was, it would not be about my BROTHER's OC of all ponies. *shudder* Over-Exaggeration by RarityDeere rolled his eyes, "Can we go yet?" he called up the stairs. "In a second Darling?" Rarity called back. A plot formed in Deere's mind. "It's not nice to keep a prince waiting!" He heard a frantic scrambling and saw Rarity almost fall down the stairs, waering just a skirt and with mascara smears under her eyes. She straightened herself. "I did say just a second, didn't I?" Deere contained a smile, badly. He honestly couldnt remember why he had asked Rarity to take him on a tour of Ponyville. Then, they were off. Rarity did not stop talking the entire time. Going on and on about her friends, and about the rumour that somepony named Haybales was sleeping with somepony else named Big Mac. "Wait wait wait, did you say Haybales?" Deere had stopped dead in his tracks. Rarity flipped her mane, pleased that her rumour was gaining motion, "Yes Darling. Somepony named Haybales has been sleeping with Big Macintosh." She smiled. "And where does this "Big Mac" live exactly?" Deere bristled with rage. "Just down the road Darling, At Sweet Apple Acres. Hes my friend Applejack's brother. Speaking of Applejack..." She was cut off as Deere galloped down the road, determined to give somepony a piece of his mind. Big Mac looked up from apple-bucking to see a strange brown pony galloping up the road, straight for him. "Can I help ya-" but his sentence was cut off by a carefully aimed hoof to the stomach. He fell to the ground, but was immediately surrounded by a green glow and flung high into the air. He was falling, and about to hit the ground, but was caught by the same green glow and hurled into trees and against the ground. "That was for sleeping with my sister!" yelled the pony *slam* "That was for being a scumbag!" *slam* "AND THAT WAS FOR SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER!!!!!!" "WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON!?!?!?" screamed Applejack upon seeing this strange unicorn, no pegasus, no ALICORN flinging her brother about like a small toy. "I-I-I...." Rarity burst into tears, "Oh Applejack, its all my fault!" Rarity ran off in tears, fleeing the scene with a destination set in her mind: She had to find Haybales and make this right. Haybales was shaken awake from a lovely dream, by a unicorn she didnt really want to see. "Oh, its you Rarity. What do you want now?" Her answer was a combonation of sobs, names and "Oh Celestia I'm sorry"s. "Deere is here? Well, that was quick." She didnt expect her brother to be here so soon, he said he was going to walk instead of teleport like he usually did. "Wait, Whats happening?!?!" She flew out of her bed and shot out the door faster than a Wonderbolt. She flew faster than she had ever flown and saw the scene herself. Deere, whipping Big Mac, who was clearly unconcious and in pain, back and forth, Granny Smith and Applejack crying on the ground. She bolted straight for Deere and tackled him, knocking him over and plowing him into the ground, and otherwise breaking his concentration. Big Mac fell to the ground and Haybales began to pummel her brother. "That was for beating my colt-friend!" she screamed, *SMASH* "That was for interfearing with my life!*SMASH* AND THAT WAS FOR BEATING MY COLT-FRIEND!" and with one final smashe, Deere was out cold. Author's Note Almost done, gotta shut down, new version tmr. SUSPENSE!!! Basicly Deere beats the celestia-loving shit outta big mac. All Apologies*beep...beep...beep...* Big Mac woke up in a bright white room. He found he could only open his left eye, so he did so. His right eye was too swollen Suddenly, a large white and pink face hovered in front of him. "Doctor!" it exclaimed, "Hes awake!" A brown, be-spectacled face came into his view. "Mac," it said, shining a light into his eye, "Can you hear us?" Big Mac rolled his head to the side as he slipped out of conciousness... Deere woke up with a headache, and jumped when he saw two familiar ponies by his bedside. "Mum? Dad? What are you doing here?" "I should ask ya the same thing son." Said the green and brown pegasus that was his father. Rocksolid was a foreboding stallion who didnt take orders from anypony. His wife on the other hand, the white and brown pegasus by the name of Tabbycat, was a meek but difficult to please pony. She was usually shy, but provoked, she was more dangerous than a dragon. Turns out that that last hoof to the face had given Deere a concussion. "Wheres Haybales?" he asked. "Your sister is with her colt-friend, I'm sure you two neeed no introducing." Rock scowled. "Cant just beat a pony half to death because of a misunderstanding." "What?" asked Deere. His parents told him the whole story. "He may never walk again," the Doctor explained. Granny Smith burst into a fresh set of tears. The Doctor looked shocked, "May, I said MAY, its still not a sure thing, but even after months of rigorous physiotherapy, he will always be in pain when he walks. And no more applebucking either." The three Apples cried, Applejack, Granny and Applebloom. Deere burst into the room and was met by burning glares. "I'm so sorry!" he blurted, "It was all a misunderstanding! i swear!" He explained to the Apple Family, Haybales and Rarity, who was there for some reason. They all looked to Rarity. "Ummm... You know," Rarity tried to think of an excuse, "Sweetie Belle really shouldnt be left alone for so long, BYE!" And with that, she disapeared in a puff of baby blue smoke. Deere agreed to pay all expenses, and to work on the farm until Mac was fully healed, and if that never happened, if he never made a full recovery, he would work for the remainder of Big Mac's life, and if he were to die, for the remainder of the existance of Sweet Apple Acres. Being an alicorn and being Immortal, this was a promise he could keep. Author's Note I named the story after the song by Nirvana, b/c it was playing when i was writing. Rocksolid and Tabbycat are based off my parents, might as well, since Haybales is based off me and Deere is my brother. 1 Year Later:"I dont think its going to fit!" said Haybales. It isnt easy squeezing into a tight dress when you're ten months pregnant. (Note: Horses have a gestation period of 11 months, same as llamas, as opposed to the human's 9 months and the elephants 2 years! [real fact]) I was a beautiful dress, and she didnt want to rip it. it did have a skirt that was belted at her wings, so you could only see part of her stomach. "How am I expected to walk down the aisle when I can barely walk at all?" She really couldnt believe it at all. All that had happened. A week after Mac had taken his beating, he woke up and asked her to marry him! She'd had to organize the whole wedding herself, Mac being in physiotherapy, but she did it, with the help of her new friends. So they planned on living happily ever after, just like every other pony couple, ever. Macintosh was supported by Caramel and Braeburn at the top of the alter, His sister and Fluttershy standing across from him, Princess Celestia about to start the ceremony. He heard the music that signaled his bride to be, and saw the golden clad pink pony walk down the aisle as regally as could be managed with an unborn foal inside of her. He smiled, Their unborn foal. The ceremony progressed, and he really couldnt pay attention as Celestia spoke. All he could do is stare at Haybales and not cry. He didnt even hear Celestia read the vows, "Huh?" he said when he heard his name, which encited laughter from the crowd. He blushed as best as he could, its not easy being dark red. Celestia chuckled, "Do you agree to take this mare as your wife, to care for her foals and for her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'til death do you part?" Big Mac forgot his line, "Eeyup." The crowd laughed again. He blushed again. It was finally over, he leaned over to kiss his bride, and the church was filled with stomps, clapping and cheering. Author's Note Thank you everypony for reading, and look out for my next story, Equestria: A Not-So-Brief History, which describes the story of Celestia, Luna, Discord and Sombra. Ponies can also follow my tumblr feed, @ haybales22.tumblr.com Awkward Much?Haybales found what she was looking for in a cooler brought by somepony. She grabbed an apple cider and sat on the loveseat in the den. She closed her eyes and tried to count the "Wubs" in the current song that was playing. She was counting under her breath and was dimly aware of another pony sitting down next to her. She heard an intake of breath and held up her hoof to that general direction without looking. "Shh. Counting wubs. 129, 130, 131.." and so on until the song was over. The pony beside her remained seated beside her, either very patient, had a very urgent need to talk to her or was very drunk. "957 wubs." she proclaimed, and turned to see Big Mac grinning at her, barely containing a laugh. They went in hysterics for about 15 minutes before they calmed down enough to speak, fueled by a mix of social awkwardness and alcohal. Big Mac cleared his throat and suppressed another giggle, and then turned to Haybales and looked her in the eye. " You wouldnt by any chance like to count the 'wubs' with me on Saturday?" She looked at him quizzically. He held up two slips of paper with "DJ PON3" written on them. " I have these tickets to a live concert for Saturday in Las Pegasus and Applejack hates dubtrot, so I was wondering if you wanted to go. With me." He seemed very nervous, and she could almost see a blush on his crimson cheeks. "Of course I'll go, Mac!" she exclaimed. They organized for transport. They would meet at the club, which was called "the Marequee". They fell asleep on the loveseat amid laughing ponies and utter chaos. Rarity saw the entire thing from the stool near the counter where Berry Punch was mixing drinks. She ordered a maretini and some cherries, and watched the "happy couple" laugh and joke. She saw Big Mac waving tickets around. she saw that they were for a "DJ PON3" concert, and immediately lost interest. Dubtrot wasn't real music in her eyes. She listened to mostly classical music and the occasional hit single. She sipped her drink and stared as the two ponies embracedd and fell asleep together. A plot was brewing in her fancy little head, and it was not a plot for making friends... Author's Note Yes, ponies have alchohal. deal with it. Maretini was an intentional pun.
A Simple Visit They Said...Haybales walked along the dirt path pulling her wooden cart behind her. The rectangular lumps within which gave her her name were becoming increasingly heavy as the heat of the day wore on. "Why wasn't I born a unicorn?" she thought to herself, "Then i could just magic the feed to Ponyville." But alas, she was a pegasus, and a beautiful one as well, with her pink coat, which was perfectly groomed earlier but was now caked with dirt and dust, her blonde mane and tail, her large blue eyes and thick lashes, her pink wings, tucked at her sides as she pulled the cart behind her, and of course her cutie mark. The three alfalfa blossoms upon her flank. One blue, one purple and one pink, with green stems. As she walked along in the hot sun, she thought about her cutie mark. It had been quite a while since she earned it, almost 10 years! At age 8, just a young filly, she had brought in the farm's largest crop of alfalfa, ever! She stopped for a drink from the water pouch she carried, checked her map to make sure she was going the right way, and carried on. She was slightly concerned about getting lost. She hadn't been in Ponyville in a while. Usually her brother, Deere, made deliveries, but Fluttershy distinctly asked for her this time. She wasn't going to argue, she'd wanted to go to Ponyville for quite some time. She needed to buy a few things, and kept her bits safely stored under a mound of straw to keep it safe. She trotted for about a half hour before coming to a sign proclaiming, "Welcome to Ponyville: Home of the Elements of Harmony and the Best Young Flyer Champion 2010". Seemed like a nice enough town. She walked in the direction the sign pointed and eventually wound up in the middle of the town. She looked at the clock on town hall. "12:38... Damnit!" She galloped to the cafe named 'the Tea Garden', un-hitched her cart and stepped inside. She was breathing heavily, and was very extremely dirty. a voice cried out, "OH DEAREST ME!" in a British accent, and a white coated purple maned unicorn fled the scene with a disapproving glance. She looked to the ground sheepishly, which is a good trick for a pony, and then looked up, scanning the room for a certain pink maned pegasi. "Fluttershy!" she called, upon seeing her meek cousin. "Haybales..." she heard, in what could only be described as intense excitement for Fluttershy. They embraced briefly before sitting down to cold tea and biscuits. Haybales dug into the biscuits hungrily, as she hadn't eaten since 6 am that morning. "I'm so sorry they're cold, cousin," whispered Fluttershy, "its just that you were, you know, late..." Haybales looked to her cousin and wiped the crumbs from her chin. "So sorry 'Shy, I came as quick as i could." " Oh, its ok, its no trouble, I'm sorry I doubted you Haybales." The pegasus smiled and tousled the younger's hair. "No Fluttershy, its my fault." They finished their meager lunch and left the cafe. After Fluttershy insisted on pulling the cart, seeing as how she'd already traveled across Equestria already, they were off. Rarity stormed into the carousel boutique. She was completely disgusted by the way some ponies could act. Come into a civilized, sanitary place of business and germ it up with dust and dirt and sweat. The nerve. She trotted up the stairs to take a relaxing bath. Maybe that could help her forget about the dirty pegasus... Haybales and Fluttershy rounded the last corner before the cottage, and started to unload the hay, straw oats and of course, alfalfa, the ranch's main export. fluttershy threw the bag of bits into Haybales's suitcase and put it in the house, before returning to the cart and making their way to Sweet Apple Acres, the site of the next delivery. Somepony named 'Applebloom' ordered some straw bales for "unconventional reasons", whatever that meant. They pulled up to the farm, and Fluttershy started going on about her friends, one of which lived here. Haybales went off in search of this Applebloom pony, or anypony at all really. She found an elderly green mare sitting in a rocking chair near the house, peeling apples. "Excuse me ma'am," the mare looked up, "but do you know of anyone named Applebloom who lives or works here?" The mare just pointed towards the barn, where a series of small explosions sounded. The pony walked towards the barn door, unsure of what would be found inside... She opened the doors to find a group of fillies working on small engines, and a large red stallion instructing him. She walked towards the stallion, thinking he was the one the order had come for. "Excuse me?" she questioned, and was met by half-closed eyes of the most sparkling green she had ever seen. she was suddenly at a loss for words. the sleepy eyes opened to fully awake and stared at her. "Yup?", the stallion responded. "Umm... Are you," she checked her list, "Applebloom?" The stallion chuckled. "Oh celestia what was i thinking!", she thought, "Applebloom is a FILLIE'S name!" "Nope." answered the stallion. "I'm Big Mac.", he nodded towards a yellow filly underneath the only running engine. "She's Applebloom." After commencing with the delivery of the straw bales, which turned out to be for archery practice, and hearing a cheer as she walked away, "Cutie Mark Crusaders, ARCHERS!!!", she thought about the stallion as she and Fluttershy walked to the farm house. Fluttershy's friend, Applejack, who happened to be Big Macintosh and Applebloom's sister, invited them to stay for dinner. Haybales was self-concious, but that all went out the window at the discovery that she wasn't the grubbiest pony at the table. The three fillies were covered in grease, dirt and motor oil.the only parts of them that were clean were their front hooves, their mouthes, and strangly their flanks. She dug into the delicious dinner of apple soup, apple bread and for dessert, apple crisp, all washed down with, you guessed it, grape juice. "Wait, what?", asked Haybales increduously. Big Mac chuckled. "One gets tired of apples after eating nothing but apples for their entire lives." he explained quietly. Fluttershy's friend, the orange mare, looked at him in something between shock and wonder. "Mac, you never speak in full sentences! Whatsa matter with ya?", she asked, somewhat rudely. Mac looked annoyed. "Well sister, sometimes one wishes to use proper grammar when in the company of a beautiful mare." He looked to Haybales, who blushed, which is difficult to do when you're pink to begin with. They laughed together and ate of the apple meal, and drank grape juice. Rarity left the house after a few hours of dressing up and primping herself. Although she was a pony of high society, she did have responsibilities, such as picking up her sister from Applejack's place. She certainly wasn't looking forward to the half-mile walk, but it was a sacrifice she would have to make. Oh well. She set out, and immediately started thinking about all the stallions who could substitute for a wealthy prince, provided that Prince Blueblood remained spoken for by some stallion in Canterlot. She complained out loud. " What stallion would want another stallion, when he could have the lovely Rarity Belle?", and immediately crashed into a sweaty, smelly, dirty ball of wings and pink and yellow fur. "EEEEEEEK!!!!" she shrieked, right into the things delicate ears. "OOOOOOOOOW!!!" the thing exclaimed. A silent yell came from Fluttershy, who thought some sort of monster was attacking her beloved cousin. Rarity untangled herself from the pony and greeted fluttershy. She was dimly aware that this was the same pony who had burst into the cafe that afternoon. With a haughty sniff, she bid Fluttershy farewell, and continued on her way, not questioning the smell of apples and grapes on them. Author's Note My first fan-fic. Don't laugh! Featuring my OC and some other ponies. This story will also feature some mares acting seriously bitchy. Who would've thought ponies could be bitches?
The Meet and GreetHaybales woke up with a dry mouth, dirty hair and a sore stomach. After jumping in the tub to wash her fur, she made a breakfast of pancakes and haybacon for Fluttershy and herself. Fluttershy had already began to plan the whole day's activities, and was very excited for Haybales to meet all of her friends. She started to talk about them. "Theres Applejack, you met her last night, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbowdash, she won Equestria's Best Young Flyer Competition, and Pinkie Pie, oh, here she is now!" At this point, Pinkie Pie decided to make an entrance by popping out of a hole in the ground, as is natural for Pinkie Pie. "Oh hello there! *gasp* Are you new to Ponyville? You must be because I know everypony in Ponyville and I've never seen you before! Do you know Fluttershy? You two look similar! *GASP* ARE YOU TWO SISTERS?!?!? Fluttershy, you never told me you had a sister! Either way, I'm going to throw a party for you! A 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! And a 'Congratulations on having a Sister' party for Fluttershy! oh dear, is there enough time for two parties? If I hurry there is! Good bye!!!!" And with that the bouncing pink pony disapeared before Haybales could tell her her name or even make any motion to greet her. She looked to Fluttershy and then immediately started rolling on the ground laughing, getting her cleaned coat dirty again. After the laughing fit was over, they continued their walk. 'Fluttershy," inquired Haybales, "You said you had five friends, you've mentioned four. whos the fifth?" Fluttershy cocked her head and looked at haybales. "I thought you already knew Rarity. We met her last night, remember?" Haybales thought back to the night previous and remmbered crashing into a pony on the way back from the apple farm. "Well, maybe we should go apologize for bumping into her the other night." Rarity woke up fashionably late to hear a loud knocking on her front door. "We are currently closed!" she yelled from her bed. More knocking ensues. " I said that we are closed!" she yelled again, this time with a hint of annoyance in her voice. *knock knock knock* Rarity ran down the stairs, ripped open the door and screamed, "WHAT!?!?!?" She then saw Fluttershy standing there, preparing to knock. Rarity apologized profusely before recognizing the pink pegasus standing behind her. "Oh. And you brought your," *cue look of disdain* "Friend..." Fluttershy introduced the mares and smiled, thinking she had made a set of new friends. They decided to look at all the dresses while they were there and while Rarity got ready to accept guests. Haybales looked at a few dresses, but didnt find anything to her tastes. "Doesn't she make anything good?" A rather loud throat clearing came from the top of the staircase, indicating that Rarity had heard her comment. She obviously chose to ignore her, and only acknowledged her when Fluttershy made them shake hooves. They left shortly after and went to Cloudsdale to visit this "Rainbow Dash" pony, apparently Fluttershy's best friend. They walked most of the way there and did as little flying as they could, because Haybales knew about Fluttershy's bad flying. so then they met Rainbow Dash and learnt how to make rainbows. Fluttershy had heard this speech hundreds of times, and so had Haybales, but 'Shy never seemed to get tired of hearing it. And after a long day in Cloudsdale, they returned home to the cottage. And immediately recieved a full on party cannon to the face. Pinkie Pie had turned the cabin into an absolute war zone. There were streamers, balloons, confetti and ponies all over the cabin. It looked as if all of Ponyville turned up for this party. "Pinkie has really outdone herself this time", whispered Fluttershy. Haybales couldnt hear over the dubtrot the DJ was playing, and was scanning the crowd for familliar faces. The pair walked through the foyer into the den, where they saw two banners hanging from the ceiling. "Welcome to Ponyville ________", read Haybales. she laughed, remembering how they had met the crazy pony. "Congrats on Finding Your Long Lost Sister" murmured Fluttershy. She giggled and politely stepped aside as a gang of stallions walked over to read the banners. Haybales decided to get some punch or sometinhg from the kitchen, while Fluttershy hid in an upstairs closet. Haybales walked among the dancing ponies in search of a certain big red stallion. 'He has to be here,' she thought. 'This Pinkie Pie pony invited the whole town, why exclude one pony?' She finally saw him, and started walking calmly towards him. He was drinking cider with a group of stallions, she could almost smell the cider- "HOW DO YOU LIKE THE PARTY?!?! FUN HUH? HUH? HUH!?!?" A certain pink party pony popped up in front of her and scared the Be-Luna out of her. "Pinkie! What the hay is-" "BUT DO YOU LIKE THE PARTY!?!?!?" demanded Pinkie. "Umm ya its great, I guess." Pinkie's afro immediately deflated with the sound of air being let out of a balloon. "You dont like it..." she sighed. "No no no!!!" Haybales gasped quickly, "I love it, its just i dont know that much about parties. You're the expert here! " Pinkies mane puffed up with an audible pop and she bounced away happily. Haybales blew into her forelock and looked back at Big Mac, who was talking to that Rarity filly. "I need more punch for this." groaned Haybales, and returned to the kitchen in search of some sort of pony equivalent of booze. Author's Note Be-Luna: Pony version of Be-jesus
Not the Whole TruthFluttershy woke up in a closet, which happened more often than you would think it would. She attempted to open the door, but found that there was somepony blocking the door. By the sound of the snores, they were defineatly asleep, or passed out drunk. Probably both. She settled in for a long wait in a closet... Haybales woke up warm, in the soft embrace of a large stallion, which didnt happen as often as you would think it would. She had no intentions of moving, wanting the caress to never end, but knew it would at some point be necessary. From what she could see, the cottage was utterly destroyed, or at least the den was. Red solo cups, glasses, napkins, garbage, and ponies lay strewn across the floor; crushed, broken, ripped, dirty and passed out. By the way Mac was snoring, he was gonna be out for a while. she looked at the many bottles and disposable cups beside him, some of which had "Big M" written across the side so they didnt get the cups mixed up. She could smell the cider on his breath, sweet, sour and musky. She snuggled in closer for another nap. Rarity had seen the two farm ponies fall asleep on the couch and her plan gained motion. She had went home earlier than others, wanting not to be drowsy for the execution of this master scheme. For a high-class pony she could really hold her liquor. She smiled, knowing that the only other pony who could drink as much as her had not gone to the party that evening. She bathed, brushed, dressed and styled, and when ready, set out at a brisk walk. Her destination: Sweet Apple Acres. "HE DID WHAT?!?!?!?" screamed the orange mare in an outrage. "I'm telling you Applejack, he slept with that cousin of Fluttershy's. The one with that little cart of animal feed. Ande he invited her to that dubtrot concert in Los Pegasus." explained Rarity in that innocent tattle tail voice she has. Appkejack was appalled "He knew damn well those tickets were for Applebloom and her friends!" Rarity smiled knowingly, "Well, you do know how stallions think, with their 'little head'" Applejack pounded her fist into her hoof in rage. I'm gonna get that stallion, and show him what for!
Wake up CallBig Macintosh was beingroughly shaken from a lovelydream. He was in the back of a carriage with Miss Haybales. They reached in for a kiss- "GET UP YA LAZY BASTARD!" And a hoof slapped him across the face. He woke with a start, then jumped again to find who woke him. "Applejack," he whispered, not wanting to wake his sleeping friend, "what the hay are you doing here?!?" Haybales snuggled in deeper, and turned a little at the sound. "Ah would ask ya the same thing Brother!" Applejack was obviously pissed, and did her best to show it. She walked outside, motioning for Big Mac to follow her. Mac detached himself from the pink pegasus and walked outside, leaving her on the loveseat. As soon as he closed the door- "WHAT THE HAY IS WRONG WITH YA?!?!? GOING AROUND WITH EVERY PRETTY MARE YA SEE, IS THAT IT?!?!? HUH?!?!?" Mac backed against the wall of the cottage, confused, disoriented, and with a raging headache. What the hay was she talink about? He tried to think of an answer to her question, and he came up with the perfect answer: "Nope." he stated simply. The orange mare stared at him for a moment then groaned and flung her hooves to the sky. "Rarity told me that you were sleepin' with this cousin of Fluttershy's, and ya gave away the tickets to that show we were takin' the girls to. What the hay were ya thinkin', Mac?" She cocked her head, waiting for some kind of answer. The big red farm pony sighed and told her everything, as well as he could remember. "Well, Rarity told ya the truth, sorta. We fell asleep on the couch during the party, nothing more, but we were talking about dubtrot before that. You did say that you didnt wanna go, and that i could take a friend if i wanted in your place, so I told her about the concert, and said she was welcome to tag along." Applejack face-hooffed and shook her head. "By a friend, I meant another stallion. Like Nuts, or Bolts. One of your stallion friends. Not your filly-friend." She looked him up or down. He did look like he was tired, and if they had "slept together", they wouldnt have done it on the couch. She decided he was telling the truth, for now, but made a mental note to talk to Rarity about this. they walked home together, Applejack not letting Mac say goodbye to his "filly-friend. Haybales woke up alone in the den. By "alone", she meant alone on the loveseat. The floor was still covered in drunken, sleeping ponies, and Big Mac was nowhere to be found. She searched the entire cottage before deciding he must have left. She went back to her room, which she had locked before hoof, and with a crick in her neck and a serious case of bed-mane, she lay on the bed. Thinking about Big Mac and the dubtrot concert, she drifted off to sleep. Fluttershy woke to the sound of opening and closing doors. she did her best to call out, but had to be quiet so as not to desturb the ponies in the room. "Hello?" she whispered softly, "Can anypony hear me?" They evidently couldnt, so she settled back into her pile of sweaters and boots, and prepared for a long wait.
DeereDeere walked along the path. Sweating, tired, and with stiff cramped wings, he pulled the cart behind him. It wasnt a heavy cart, sure it had a years worth of straw loaded onto it, but magic is a powerful thing. A lightening spell had made the bales of straw as light as clouds. There was more feed that was to be delivered to various farms and restaurants, but he had already teleported all of it to his cousin's home. He levitated his hat off his head to fan himself, then immediately realized his mistake and jammed it back onto his head. He looked around to see if anypony saw him. The path was empty, but he ran anyways. The brown stallion had a secret, and he didnt want anypony to know. You see, Deere is and was the only naturally born alicorn male in existance. A wing potion given to male unicorns will turn them into a hideous monster, like discord. A horn potion given to male pegasi will strip them of their wings. Nopony in equestria, save his parents, doctor, sister and Princess Celestia, know about his horn. He was born in Cloudsdale, but his parents not wanting to give up their son to be a prince, ran to Appaloosa. Both his parents being pegasi, nopony could explain this peculiar miracle, and nopony really wanted to. All his parents cared about was their son being healthy, happy and growing up to be a good farmer. So he grew his mane long and curly, but it wasnt enough to hide it. So he wore a large cowboy hat in order to hide the offending horn. Although he was technically a prince and a god, he didnt want to claim his throne or his "godliness" . His parents had told Celestia, and she agreed to let him live his life as he chose. She also had said he was the God of the Farm and Growing. His cutie mark was 3 stalks of grain. One wheat, one oat, and one canola, similar to his sister's 3 blossoms of alfalfa. He usually wore coveralls to hide this mark. He continued his journey, and at long last came to Ponyville. Not knowing the exact location of Fluttershy's home, so he decided to ask for directions. He stopped at the nearest building he could see; a large shop which was designed to look like a merry-go-round. He unhitched, then walked inside to see if the proprietor knew of Fluttershy. He opened the door, and was met with a massive blast of airconditioning. He heard somepony trotting down the steps, and held onto his hat, which was trying to escape in the breeze. "Hello there, darling," he heard a British accent say, "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! I am Rarity." A white and purple-maned pony stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of this grubby, dusty and sweaty pony. Her look was of disgust for a fleeting second, then she put on a forced smile for him. "And what can i help you with, Darling?" You could hear the fake politeness in her tone. "I-" But Deere was cut off at his hat making a desperate escape in the wind! He tried to grab it, but it was too quick. The cowboy hat was then caught by the breeze of the air conditioner, and was ripped off of his head. He covered his head with one hoof and ran after his hat. The hat was captured in a blue glow and flew over to him. "Move your hoof darling," said Rarity. Deere had no choice but to move his hoof and hope she didnt see either his horn or his wings. "Well," gasped Rarity, "If you are a unicorn, couldnt you have caught the hat yourself? Wait a minute... " She walked around him, AND DISCOVERED WINGS!!!! "You... Youre a..." Deere prepared for the bows and hoof kissing and praise and all hail prince deere shit. "YOU'RE A PRINCE!!!" Rarity exclaimed. "SHHHH!" Deere hushed, "I'm on uh..." he racked his brain for an excuse. "Royal business! ya I'm on royal business. Going undercover. So you cant tell anypony that I'm an alicorn, ok?" Rarity looked amazed, "Oh of course Prince- I mean... ummm...." she realized she didnt know his name. "The names Deere, John Deere." he'd always wanted to say that! Stole the quote from an old Hay Blond movie, his favorite secret agent pony. "Oh of course, Prince Deere. Oh." she realized her snafu. "Just Deere please?" he tried to get her to understand the concept. "Of course, Deere." gasped Rarity. She batted her lashes and puffed her chest out. Oh celestia, he thought, Not the "adoring fan who has a crush on me." Author's Note Deere is based on my brother, Austin, who is a large fan of the John Deere tractor company, and we own a large number of their tractors and equipment. I am most certainly not going to write a clopfic about any of my characters, and if i was, it would not be about my BROTHER's OC of all ponies. *shudder*
Over-Exaggeration by RarityDeere rolled his eyes, "Can we go yet?" he called up the stairs. "In a second Darling?" Rarity called back. A plot formed in Deere's mind. "It's not nice to keep a prince waiting!" He heard a frantic scrambling and saw Rarity almost fall down the stairs, waering just a skirt and with mascara smears under her eyes. She straightened herself. "I did say just a second, didn't I?" Deere contained a smile, badly. He honestly couldnt remember why he had asked Rarity to take him on a tour of Ponyville. Then, they were off. Rarity did not stop talking the entire time. Going on and on about her friends, and about the rumour that somepony named Haybales was sleeping with somepony else named Big Mac. "Wait wait wait, did you say Haybales?" Deere had stopped dead in his tracks. Rarity flipped her mane, pleased that her rumour was gaining motion, "Yes Darling. Somepony named Haybales has been sleeping with Big Macintosh." She smiled. "And where does this "Big Mac" live exactly?" Deere bristled with rage. "Just down the road Darling, At Sweet Apple Acres. Hes my friend Applejack's brother. Speaking of Applejack..." She was cut off as Deere galloped down the road, determined to give somepony a piece of his mind. Big Mac looked up from apple-bucking to see a strange brown pony galloping up the road, straight for him. "Can I help ya-" but his sentence was cut off by a carefully aimed hoof to the stomach. He fell to the ground, but was immediately surrounded by a green glow and flung high into the air. He was falling, and about to hit the ground, but was caught by the same green glow and hurled into trees and against the ground. "That was for sleeping with my sister!" yelled the pony *slam* "That was for being a scumbag!" *slam* "AND THAT WAS FOR SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER!!!!!!" "WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON!?!?!?" screamed Applejack upon seeing this strange unicorn, no pegasus, no ALICORN flinging her brother about like a small toy. "I-I-I...." Rarity burst into tears, "Oh Applejack, its all my fault!" Rarity ran off in tears, fleeing the scene with a destination set in her mind: She had to find Haybales and make this right. Haybales was shaken awake from a lovely dream, by a unicorn she didnt really want to see. "Oh, its you Rarity. What do you want now?" Her answer was a combonation of sobs, names and "Oh Celestia I'm sorry"s. "Deere is here? Well, that was quick." She didnt expect her brother to be here so soon, he said he was going to walk instead of teleport like he usually did. "Wait, Whats happening?!?!" She flew out of her bed and shot out the door faster than a Wonderbolt. She flew faster than she had ever flown and saw the scene herself. Deere, whipping Big Mac, who was clearly unconcious and in pain, back and forth, Granny Smith and Applejack crying on the ground. She bolted straight for Deere and tackled him, knocking him over and plowing him into the ground, and otherwise breaking his concentration. Big Mac fell to the ground and Haybales began to pummel her brother. "That was for beating my colt-friend!" she screamed, *SMASH* "That was for interfearing with my life!*SMASH* AND THAT WAS FOR BEATING MY COLT-FRIEND!" and with one final smashe, Deere was out cold. Author's Note Almost done, gotta shut down, new version tmr. SUSPENSE!!! Basicly Deere beats the celestia-loving shit outta big mac.
All Apologies*beep...beep...beep...* Big Mac woke up in a bright white room. He found he could only open his left eye, so he did so. His right eye was too swollen Suddenly, a large white and pink face hovered in front of him. "Doctor!" it exclaimed, "Hes awake!" A brown, be-spectacled face came into his view. "Mac," it said, shining a light into his eye, "Can you hear us?" Big Mac rolled his head to the side as he slipped out of conciousness... Deere woke up with a headache, and jumped when he saw two familiar ponies by his bedside. "Mum? Dad? What are you doing here?" "I should ask ya the same thing son." Said the green and brown pegasus that was his father. Rocksolid was a foreboding stallion who didnt take orders from anypony. His wife on the other hand, the white and brown pegasus by the name of Tabbycat, was a meek but difficult to please pony. She was usually shy, but provoked, she was more dangerous than a dragon. Turns out that that last hoof to the face had given Deere a concussion. "Wheres Haybales?" he asked. "Your sister is with her colt-friend, I'm sure you two neeed no introducing." Rock scowled. "Cant just beat a pony half to death because of a misunderstanding." "What?" asked Deere. His parents told him the whole story. "He may never walk again," the Doctor explained. Granny Smith burst into a fresh set of tears. The Doctor looked shocked, "May, I said MAY, its still not a sure thing, but even after months of rigorous physiotherapy, he will always be in pain when he walks. And no more applebucking either." The three Apples cried, Applejack, Granny and Applebloom. Deere burst into the room and was met by burning glares. "I'm so sorry!" he blurted, "It was all a misunderstanding! i swear!" He explained to the Apple Family, Haybales and Rarity, who was there for some reason. They all looked to Rarity. "Ummm... You know," Rarity tried to think of an excuse, "Sweetie Belle really shouldnt be left alone for so long, BYE!" And with that, she disapeared in a puff of baby blue smoke. Deere agreed to pay all expenses, and to work on the farm until Mac was fully healed, and if that never happened, if he never made a full recovery, he would work for the remainder of Big Mac's life, and if he were to die, for the remainder of the existance of Sweet Apple Acres. Being an alicorn and being Immortal, this was a promise he could keep. Author's Note I named the story after the song by Nirvana, b/c it was playing when i was writing. Rocksolid and Tabbycat are based off my parents, might as well, since Haybales is based off me and Deere is my brother.
1 Year Later:"I dont think its going to fit!" said Haybales. It isnt easy squeezing into a tight dress when you're ten months pregnant. (Note: Horses have a gestation period of 11 months, same as llamas, as opposed to the human's 9 months and the elephants 2 years! [real fact]) I was a beautiful dress, and she didnt want to rip it. it did have a skirt that was belted at her wings, so you could only see part of her stomach. "How am I expected to walk down the aisle when I can barely walk at all?" She really couldnt believe it at all. All that had happened. A week after Mac had taken his beating, he woke up and asked her to marry him! She'd had to organize the whole wedding herself, Mac being in physiotherapy, but she did it, with the help of her new friends. So they planned on living happily ever after, just like every other pony couple, ever. Macintosh was supported by Caramel and Braeburn at the top of the alter, His sister and Fluttershy standing across from him, Princess Celestia about to start the ceremony. He heard the music that signaled his bride to be, and saw the golden clad pink pony walk down the aisle as regally as could be managed with an unborn foal inside of her. He smiled, Their unborn foal. The ceremony progressed, and he really couldnt pay attention as Celestia spoke. All he could do is stare at Haybales and not cry. He didnt even hear Celestia read the vows, "Huh?" he said when he heard his name, which encited laughter from the crowd. He blushed as best as he could, its not easy being dark red. Celestia chuckled, "Do you agree to take this mare as your wife, to care for her foals and for her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'til death do you part?" Big Mac forgot his line, "Eeyup." The crowd laughed again. He blushed again. It was finally over, he leaned over to kiss his bride, and the church was filled with stomps, clapping and cheering. Author's Note Thank you everypony for reading, and look out for my next story, Equestria: A Not-So-Brief History, which describes the story of Celestia, Luna, Discord and Sombra. Ponies can also follow my tumblr feed, @ haybales22.tumblr.com
Awkward Much?Haybales found what she was looking for in a cooler brought by somepony. She grabbed an apple cider and sat on the loveseat in the den. She closed her eyes and tried to count the "Wubs" in the current song that was playing. She was counting under her breath and was dimly aware of another pony sitting down next to her. She heard an intake of breath and held up her hoof to that general direction without looking. "Shh. Counting wubs. 129, 130, 131.." and so on until the song was over. The pony beside her remained seated beside her, either very patient, had a very urgent need to talk to her or was very drunk. "957 wubs." she proclaimed, and turned to see Big Mac grinning at her, barely containing a laugh. They went in hysterics for about 15 minutes before they calmed down enough to speak, fueled by a mix of social awkwardness and alcohal. Big Mac cleared his throat and suppressed another giggle, and then turned to Haybales and looked her in the eye. " You wouldnt by any chance like to count the 'wubs' with me on Saturday?" She looked at him quizzically. He held up two slips of paper with "DJ PON3" written on them. " I have these tickets to a live concert for Saturday in Las Pegasus and Applejack hates dubtrot, so I was wondering if you wanted to go. With me." He seemed very nervous, and she could almost see a blush on his crimson cheeks. "Of course I'll go, Mac!" she exclaimed. They organized for transport. They would meet at the club, which was called "the Marequee". They fell asleep on the loveseat amid laughing ponies and utter chaos. Rarity saw the entire thing from the stool near the counter where Berry Punch was mixing drinks. She ordered a maretini and some cherries, and watched the "happy couple" laugh and joke. She saw Big Mac waving tickets around. she saw that they were for a "DJ PON3" concert, and immediately lost interest. Dubtrot wasn't real music in her eyes. She listened to mostly classical music and the occasional hit single. She sipped her drink and stared as the two ponies embracedd and fell asleep together. A plot was brewing in her fancy little head, and it was not a plot for making friends... Author's Note Yes, ponies have alchohal. deal with it. Maretini was an intentional pun.
