There was once a reindeer by the name of Rudolph. If you haven't heard this name before, you clearly haven't been exposed to the 'magic' of Christmas. Or, at least, some of the movies of the season around it.
This is not designed to be used as a fanfiction crossover, although it can be if you wish. This is simply a reimagining of the 1964 TV special 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer', in the land of ponies.
Rudolph sat down with a sigh, breathing back tears. Oh, how he wondered about those reindeer. They could be so mean sometimes. Kicking him out of the reindeer games for something he had no control over, was part of it. But then when he was so harshly denied the happiness of seeing the doe of his dreams, his heart cracked and fell onto the floor, bleeding out, battered and broken. And he left it to wither and die.
A gray and blonde head popped out of the snowdrift he had sat down near, scaring him out of his wits.
“HI! I’m Derpy! Oh, sorry, is this your snowdrift?” the funny doe asked, cocking her head to the side, one eye rolling off absently.
“Um, no...” he replied, shaking his head nervously. “I...I’m Rudolph.”
“Well, actually, I’m a mailmare. You see, I’m trying to get these letters to Santa, but I don’t think I can find his home.” The doe, who was actually a pony mare with wings, pulled herself out of the drift, shaking her back hoof. “So,” she glanced down, sadness in her voice. “I guess I’m not a very good mailmare.”
“Well...I’m supposed to be back with the other reindeer, in the Reindeer Games, but...but they kicked me out.”
“Well, that’s not fair. Why would they do that?”
Rudolph turned to show the mare his nose. She giggled. “I know, it’s hilarious, right?” he asked angrily.
She kept giggling. “No, no! I think it’s kind of neat. I mean, it’s not everyday you find somepony with a body part that lights up.”
“Oh, gosh darn it, I’m just a misfit,” he said, head hanging.
“Hey! I just made up a song to sing while we both run away from our responsibilities as citizens!”
Looking up and cocking an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Yeah! We can be...independent!”
“Y-yeah! We can be...whatever you said. In-depend-ent.”
Some tree baubles fell down and clattered, making the pair jump.
“Hey, whattya say we both be independent, together?” Derpy said cheerfully, glancing back at the fawn.
“...Y-You wouldn’t mind my...” He lit up his obnoxious schnoz and finished with, “Red nose?”
Derpy shrugged. “If you don’t mind my klutziness!” She smiled. Her odd eye rolled again.
“Okay! It’s a deal!” Rudolph smiled. Things were finally starting to look up as the duo shook on it.
Skipping along, they both started to sing.
We’re a couple of misfits
We’re a couple of misfits
What’s the matter with misfits?
That’s where we fit in
We're not daffy and dilly
Don't go 'round willy nilly
Seems to us kinda silly
That we don't fit in.
We may be
different from the rest
Who decides the test
Of what is really best?
We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in!
--(this part sung by Rudolph)--
Why am I such a misfit?
I am not just a nit wit!
I'm an adorable reindeer
Why don't I fit in?
--(this part sung by Derpy)--
Why am I such a misfit?
I am not just a nit wit!
They can't fire me, I QUIT!
Seems I don’t fit in
We may be different from the rest
Who decides the test
Of what is really best?
We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in!
The pair climbed onto and over a log spanning a ravine and finished their song, laughing merrily.
“That was fun!” Derpy called. Rudolph nodded.
The duo walked off, out of the forest and on the way to redemption.
The blizzard had seemingly just begun when suddenly all they could see was Rudolph’s nose. Derpy stuck close by the reindeer’s side, occasionally letting the fawn lean on her shoulder.
“Are you sure this is the right direction?!” Derpy yelled over the wind.
“I didn’t know we were going anywhere specific!” Rudolph called back.
There was a roar-scream, distinctly different from the howl of the wind.
“AHHH! What was that?!” Derpy screamed.
“The Abominable Snowman! He must see my nose!”
“Quick! Cover it before he finds us!” Derpy shoveled snow onto the appendage as he bent his head down. He put a hoof over his nose as the roar sounded again.
Looking over her shoulder, Derpy caught a view at the Snowman. Her eyes widened and she gave the reindeer a nudge, urging him on.
The sun had set by the time they had lost him, and in the morning, they woke up inside the igloo they had somehow managed to conjure up in the dreadful wind. The storm hadn’t let up overnight, but it wasn’t nearly as bad. Visibility had certainly improved, and as a result, they didn’t have to rely on Rudolph’s nose anymore.
The pair stepped out into the unforgiving air. “What now?” Rudolph asked.
There was a whoop and yell, a boisterous voice calling out in the early morning light. Derpy and Rudolph looked to the skies together, then dove into a snowdrift.
The rainbow-maned Pegasus dove at the two, landing neatly beside them. She put one hoof around Derpy’s leg and the other around Rudolph’s and pulled.
She laughed heartily. “You two are gonna get frostbitten like that!”
“W-Who are you?” Rudolph asked timidly, backing up slightly.
“Who am I?” she asked, eyes going wide. The pegasus jumped onto a boulder and yelled proudly, “The name’s Rainbow Dash! The greatest flyer in Equestria!” She grinned. “These are my skies! And today, they’re rich with currents and updrafts.” She took flight, flying and looping in the air before coming to rest again. She looked up and sniffed the air.
“No...”
The other two shared a look.
“Ah well,” she boomed, scaring the pair again. “I’m off to get my long-distance flight supplies -- flight suit, wing guards, deicing fluid, and goggles. I can give you a lift, if you’d like.”
Derpy shook her head and waggled her wings that Rudolph had failed to notice.
“I’m a reindeer,” he announced proudly. “I can fly just fine.” He stepped back a few pace, then started running, and as he jumped, there was a subtle shine on his hooves, and he flew for a moment before crashing into the ground.
He moaned in pain and clutched his forehoof. Rainbow Dash paced up to him and put a wing over his shoulder. He looked away.
“You’ll get it, don’t you worry,” the pegasus said warmly, in a rare moment of kindness. “But for now, you should get on.” She gestured to her back. The young buck blushed and folded his ears.
Dash laughed. “Just get on. Don’t worry about it.”
After curling up into a ball on Dash’s back, the klutzy pegasus and the daredevil took to the sky. Rudolph looked back and found himself staring into the eyes of the Abominable Snowman.
It roared. But they were already gone.
“Where the hell are we?!” Rudolph called through the blinding wind and snow.
“I don’t know!” RD called back. The two were having trouble seeing Derpy through the unbelievable weather, and she was trying to stay only inches away from the other pegasus.
“Where are we going?”
“Don’t know!”
Rudy shook his head. “We should see if we’re still over land!”
“What?!”
“Christmas Town is bordered on all sides by water, and we can’t risk crashing in it!” The reindeer shivered at the thought of swimming for hours in the freezing water.
“Wait!” Rudolph looked up. “What’s that?!” Dash called. Sitting up straighter, he peered through the snow and gasped.
“Land...LAND!!! Let’s get down there!”
He glanced off to the right. He could spy Derpy as a slightly darker patch of white through the fog. Blinking his nose twice, he signaled for Derpy to come closer. As she pulled up, Rudolph made a complicated set a gestures that amounted to circling to land and not crashing. She nodded.
As the trio spiralled in, they noted more defining features, like snow drifts that were more than 30 feet high. The crunch of hoof on snow told Rudolph it was safe to get off and slid off of the pegasus. The snow had suddenly let up and they could now talk.
“Where are we?” Rudolph asked. They glanced around, and Rudolph's eyes fell upon a huge castle.
The other two rotated their heads. "Hey! Look!" RD called, pointing towards the sky.
A manticore wearing a gold crown flew overhead.
The three gasped at the beautiful and terrifying sight.
There was a sproing noise, and the group turned. There, in a box, was a pony head with a tasseled hat, mounted on a spring. It was a rather grotesque scene as the four stood off.
"HALT! Who goes there?!" The head called out.
"Us, of course, who'd ya think?!" Rainbow Dash replied without missing a beat.
"Oh, well then, that's okay - OKAY, who, may I ask, are you?"
"I'm Rudolph, this is Derpy, and Rainbow Dash, sir. Who are you?"
"I'm the official sentry of the Island of Discord's Toys."
"A jack in the box, for a sentry?" The head nodded.
"Yes. My name is–"
"Let me guess," Rudolph laughed. "Jack."
"No," he said, shaking his head sadly. "Caramel," he sobbed. "That's why I'm one of Discord's Toys. I'm all wrong. A head on a spring. No one will love someone like me, not after what he did...so I came here."
"Where, pray tell," Derpy asked. "Is here?"
We're on the island,
Of Discord's Toys
Here we don't want to stay
We want to travel with Santa Claus
In his magic sleigh
A pack full of toys
Means bundles of joy
For millions of mares and for millions of colts
When Christmas Day is here
The most wonderful day of the year
A jack in the box
Will cause children to shout
'Wake up! Don't you know? Time to come out!'
When Christmas Day is here
It's the most wonderful day of the year
Toys go long
Scattered around the globe
There's no room for more
And it's all because of Santa Claus
A scooter for Scootsy
A dolly for Belle
A kite that will even say 'How do you do'
When Christmas Time is here
The most wonderful time of the year!
"We're all misfits!" Was the only part of what Rudolph heard during the break.
We're on the island of Discord's Toys
We miss all the fun from the girls and the boys
When Christmas Day is here
The most wonderful
wonderful
wonderful
wonderful
wonderful day of the year
"Hey!" Rudolph called. "We're all misfits too. Maybe we can stay here for a while?"
"Oh," Caramel replied. "You'll have to get permission from King Moonrise."
"Who's he?"
"He rules here! Every night, he searches the entire planet, when he finds one of Discord's Toys that nobody loves, he brings it here, to the island, until someone can love it." The jack in the box looked towards the castle. "He's holding court right now."
Later, the quartet walked into the court room.
"Yes, come closer," the manticore ruler of the island spoke, sounding wise beyond his years. "What do you desire?" He asked as the three in the traveling group came up to his throne.
"Well, we're a couple of misfits from Christmas Town, and we'd like to live here," Rudolph explained.
Moonrise thought for a moment, before saying, "No, that would not be possible. This island is for Discord's Toys alone."
"How do ya like that?" Dash growled. "Even among misfits, you're a misfit."
The manticore held up a paw. "Unlike playthings, a living thing cannot hide himself on an island. But, perhaps, since you are misfits yourself, you might help the toys here."
"Help them?" Rudolph asked.
"Yes. When someday you return to Christmas Town, would you tell Santa about our homeless toys? I'm sure he could find someone who would love them."
"When...and if, we ever get back, we'll tell Santa, sir."
"Good. You are free to spend the night." He rapped his foot on the throne in place of a gavel. "Footman, show our guests to their quarters.”
“No, it’s all settled!” Rainbow Dash announced. “We leave tomorrow, together!”
“But the Abominable will see my nose, and get us all!” Rudolph replied. He had been trying to convince them against going with him since they had arrived in the little house they would spend the night in. “I’ve got to go alone.”
“Nonsense! It’s all for all, and one for...aaahh, let’s get some shuteye.”
“But-”
“It’s settled,” Derpy said, effectively severing the conversation. She pulled the lightswitch and covered herself with blankets.
Rudolph hung his head. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t like it. The other two were already snoring, so he gently eased himself out from under the covers. Walking over to the door, he looked over his shoulder and quietly whispered, “I’m sorry, girls.” With that, he slipped out the door.
Time passed. Rudolph grew older, living off the earth. Dash and Derpy searched the land for months, to no avail. The Abominable lost none of his hatred for the holidays.
Every so often, the reindeer would find someone out there in the huge white plains. They didn’t usually last long. And every time, he left long before they would want him to. Stories went around, of the strange buck with the glowing red nose. Soon the ‘buck’, turned into a young stag, a full tree of antlers crowning his head. Before long, the adult Rudolph realized that he would have to go back to Christmas Town and try to redeem himself.
The stag found himself on the outskirts of the Christmastree Forest, where he could hear other young stags, not unlike himself, talking. He ran over to them.
“Hey, it’s you!” one sneered. “I thought you were gone for good. Hey, look who’s back! Ol’ neon nose!” His friends laughed as Rudy bounded up.
Ignoring them, he called out, “Mom, Pa, I’m home!” He ran into his old cave home.
Santa stood inside. “They’re gone, Rudolph.” He sighed. “They’ve been gone for months, out looking for you.”
“And Clarice?” he asked hesitantly.
“She’s gone, too, and I’m very worried. Christmas Eve is only two nights away. And without your father, I’ll never be able to get my sleigh off the ground.”
“Gone,” Rudolph moaned. “I’ll find them, sir,” he said, determination in his eyes. “I’ll find them all! I promise.” He ran out of the cave, already searching for his parents and his love.
The storm of the century was already rolling in by the time he got to the Abominable’s cave.
Peeking inside, he spotted the Snowman instantly. He was pretty hard to miss. That was not what got his attention immediately, it was what was in it’s hands.
“Hey!” he yelled. “Get away from her!” Lighting his nose, he charged the beast.
Crouching, the Snowman leaped for the reindeer, but he nimbly dodged. The Snowman had somehow managed to keep Clarice in his grasp without dropping her or hurting her.
Taking his chance, Rudolph lowered his head and rammed the hindquarters of the beast while he was down.
With a roar, the Abominable leaped up, grabbing a stalactite and bringing it down on Rudolph’s head.
With a moan, his eyes rolled back and he fell.
Now, it is a known fact that Rainbow Dash does not give up on her friends easily. So it’s no surprise that she, along with Derpy, arrived in time to get on the ground before the snowstorm hit to help Rudolph.
As they came in near their destination, Derpy called out. “Hey! Look over there!” She pointed off to the left, towards the cave.
“Alright, let’s get down there before this storm gets much worse.” They curled in, diving off in opposite directions to land in the small valley.
They looked in the cave. “What do we do?” Derpy asked, sounding scared but determined. “We can’t let the monster get them!”
Dash thought for a second, before leaning over and whispering in Derpy’s ear. She slowly started smiling. As the rainbow pegasus leaned away, she smiled fully.
“Not bad,” she hissed, trying not to attract attention. “It might even work.”
The three other reindeer, Donner, Donner’s wife, and Clarice, had gathered around the unconscious Rudolph, the Snowman hanging hungrily over their backs.
“W-Why doesn’t he get up?” Clarice sobbed. Tears slipped from her eyes.
Rudolph groaned. “Ma...Da...Clarice!” He groggily lifted his head up, blinking.
Outside, Derpy called up to Dash. “Are you sure this will work?”
“Never knew any monster yet that doesn’t love a turkey dinner!”
Derpy sighed. She knew she would hate herself for this.
She ran out in the direct front of the cave, in plain view. “Look at me! I’m a target!”
The Abominable turned and roared. He lumbered to the entrance, the gray pegasus backpedalling with each step he took.
“Now, Dash, now!” she yelled.
The streak of rainbow and ball of white that came sailing into the side of the Abominable’s head told Derpy to run, she was not needed as bait anymore. The giant fell, stunned and down for the count.
“Terrible weather you’ve been havin’ up here, big boy!” The pegasus came streaking back around, now carrying a large boulder in her hooves. Just as he was about to stand back up, Dash dropped the boulder on his head, knocking him out cold.
“Alright, Derpy, you take it from here!” The cyan pony rushed inside.
“Look!” Rudolph grinned. “It’s Rainbow Dash!”
“Ta-da! In person!”
“We’re saved!” Clarice cheered jubilantly.
“Let’s get out of here!” Donner ordered.
Smiling, the six walked out into the stormy twilight.
It was positively whiteout when they finally reached Santa’s mansion. After explaining their story, Santa confirmed, “Rudolph, I promise, as soon as this storm lets up, I’ll find home for all of Discord’s toys.”
Donner put one hoof on Rudolph’s shoulder, pulling him aside. “I’m sorry, Rudolph. For...for everything. I hope you can forgive me.”
Rudolph did likewise to his father, smiling. “I grew up. Of course I forgive you.”
“Now, come on, you lot,” Santa boomed. “Let’s all get some rest for the big day tomorrow.”
“Papa! Eat!” Mrs. Claus commanded.
“How can I?! All this bother about the storm and that silly elf song is making me lose my appetite!” Santa responded banging his fists on the table where a plate of steak sat, untouched.
“You’ll disappoint the children! Who ever heard of a thin Santa?! They expect a big Santa.”
An elf dressed in flying goggles and helmet ran in. “Latest weather report, sir!” Handing the big man a stack of papers, he ran off in the direction of the stables.
Looking it over, his face turned grim. “Well, this is it. The storm won’t subside by tonight. We...we’ll have to cancel Christmas.”
“Papa, are you sure?”
“Everything’s grounded. Oh, the poor kids. They’ve been so good this year, too.” He looked back at the sheets. “But I...couldn’t chance it. I’ll go tell everyone the news.”
Walking away from the table and out the door morosely, he called for silence in the main room where there were elves chatting away with the reindeer and other elves.
When it was quiet, he spoke. “I’ve got some bad news.” There was a murmuring. As some elves and reindeer, Rudolph among them, gathered around, he gave them the verdict.
“Christmas...is going to be cancelled.” He stepped back as there was a collective gasp from his audience. “There’s nothing I can do. This weather – eh, Rudolph, Rudolph, please!” He covered his face with a hand as the reindeer in question flashed his nose. “Would you tone it down a bit? I mean, that nose of yours, I...” He trailed off, lowering his hand. “That nose...that incredible, brilliant nose!”
“Huh?” Rudolph asked.
“Rudolph! Christmas is not off, and you’re going to lead my team!”
There was a cheer as Santa explained to Rudolph how his nose would be able to cut through the fog like a laser.
“It would be an honor, sir! I could not have asked for more!”
In the corner, Donner yelled over the din, “I knew that nose would come in handy some day!”
As the reindeer team assembled, a steward came rushing in, panting hard. “Santa, sir! Blitzen’s been injured and he’ll be out of commision for a few days!”
“Oh no! It looks like we –”
“Say no more, sir!” Rainbow Dash boomed, from where she stood by the door. “It would be my honor to serve you tonight.”
Santa smiled. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. “Thank you so much, miss Rainbow Dash, you’ve no idea how much this means to me.”
The elves had loaded Santa’s sleigh, and Rainbow Dash strapped herself into the harnesses.
“You’ll be safe...right, Rudolph?” Clarice asked him worriedly.
In response, Rudolph leaned in and gave her a quick but passionate peck on the lips. “Of course.” Clarice blushed hard.
“Alright, big man,” Rainbow said in Santa’s direction. “Let’s get this over with.”
Putting on his jacket and hat, he laughed heartily. “Oh ho ho ho ho! Now let’s go! Ready, Rudolph?”
“Ready, sir!”
“Okay, Rudolph, full power!”
The reindeer lit his nose, the biggest smile he’d had in a long while lighting his face.
Crouching, Rainbow Dash muttered to herself, “Let’s do this.”
Author's Note
One of two things is going to happen with this story: everyone is going to hate me and tell me how unoriginal and boring I am...OR this story will end up in the featured box.
Happy Festivus.
