Tales of a Griffon.

“So what do you guys have to eat in this place?” I asked.

Gilda and I were headed towards the mess hall.I needed sustenance. After the race we just finished, I was really hungry…and irritated. Why? Well if you remember, Gilda cheated and pulled me away my victory right out of my grasp.  I’ll get her one day. That, I promise.

“Well, we have slop or some type of mystery meat. I hope you’re hungry!” she replied.

“Sounds delicious!” I said sarcastically, “And who cooks these enticing meals.”

“I don’t know him, but he says he is a world renowned chef.”

We pushed open the doors and entered a cafeteria.  It was completely dark. No signs of life could be found except for a lit lantern behind the serving station.  We began to walk towards the counter, but were deterred by a somewhat familiar voice.

“Go away! The mess hall is closed. I don’t even know why you would want to eat this disgusting excuse for food.”

I just turned around to leave, but Gilda insisted we go confront the chef. I shook my head no. She wouldn’t accept that for an answer. She grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged me to the counter. There, she knocked, repeatedly. A griffon talon reached over the counter and shut off the lantern.

“I said we’re closed. Go away!” The voice repeated.

“Not until you give us some food!” Gilda proclaimed.

“No! You go away or I’ll make you go away!”

“Bring it on, chef. I’m not afraid!”

The feud was escalating rapidly. I should have done something to stop it, yet I was too busy trying to figure out whose voice that belonged to. It was on the tip of my tongue.  I just needed to think harder.

“Nor am I afraid of you, little girl!” A talon rose onto the counter. In its grasp was a particularly sharp butcher’s knife.

Gilda instantly saw the knife. She smiled and grabbed the closes glass bottle, smashed it on a table, and then stood up on her hind legs. “You just want to make my day, don’t you, chef?!”

I closed my eyes to think. The name wouldn't come to me. Then, in the heat of their moment, the it came to me! Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the chef had climbed over the counter. Gilda and the chef were already were already taken swings at each other. The chef swung down the butcher’s knife; He was aiming for Gilda’s side. She easily dodged the attack, then lunged forward trying to stab the chef with her broken bottle.  I’m guessing griffons are always eager to get in a fight.  Nevertheless, I should probably stop this battle before someone gets hurt.

“Guys...stop… STAHP!” I bellowed as I ran in between the two fighters.   Their weapons were mere centimeters away from my torso, “Gilda…meet Gustave le Grand. Gustave…this is Gilda. And I’m Puff.”

Gilda shrugged her shoulders. She dropped her weapon which shattered, and then she flew into the kitchen. There was a loud commotion as she looked for something to eat. Gustave, on the other hand, grabbed my face. He looked me in the eyes with an uncertain expression plastered on his face.

“You mean to tell me that there is someone in the dreadful place that actually knows who I am?!” He asked.  He was overwhelmed with different emotions that he almost cried. I didn’t really know what was going to happen next…well until he hugged me.

“Yeah…” I returned the hug. “How did you end up in this place?”

“Le General ordered me to cook here. I refused, though. Then, out of nowhere, he sent soldiers to come abduct me from a cooking competition! I was just about to win first place.”

I didn’t really know how to respond to his story. Luckily, Gilda saved the day by commanding Gustave to cook something. He immediately responded by throwing the knife at Gilda. It barely missed her head, but it managed to cut off some feathers.

“What’s the big Idea?! You coulda killed me!” raged Gilda.

“Pshh. Could of? Gustave never misses. I simply chose to miss. I didn’t want your blood all over my clean kitchen.” Gustave said nonchalantly, “and even if I wanted to cook for you, all I have is fake chicken. “

“Yuck!” Gilda said intrigued by the meat, “…fake stuff.”

“We haven’t received a shipment of real chicken in a while.”  Gustave responded heading towards the kitchen, “So I’ve had to make use of the fake chicken.”

“It’ll never be as good as the real stuff.”

“So griffons do eat meat” I whispered to myself. Perhaps, too loud.

Gilda just stared at me questionably. Gustave ignored my comment and poked the package with his talon. Continuous stabs by his sharp talon ripped the protective covering. His talon carved into the fake meat causing “blood” to cover his talon. All three of us took a deep breath, and then gagged.

“So what do we do with it?” Gilda inquired.

“…We cook it!” Gustave answered, “I can’t let hungry soldiers starve.”

He picked up the packaged, completely took out the meat, put it in a pan, and started to gather seasonings.  He turned on the oven, then shooed us out the kitchen.

“What are you making?” I asked whiling looking over my shoulder.

“Wait. I’ll tell you when I’m finished.” He responded

Some time passed and everyone remained silent. It was an awkward silence. but then my phone vibrated. I checked to see that I had received a text. I walked out the kitchen into a secluded area, so I could read it.

It read: I see you are doing well. Be patient and wait. Save this contact information into your device, so that you may reach me at any future time. ~ Princess Celestia

Finally, something was happening. I’ll be patient. I just don’t want anything bad to happen before it starts. I started heading back to the kitchen. I saved Celestia’s contact information which was really weird. It wasn’t number digits, but some strange symbols.  I saved her symbols under the name “Celestia”, but when I finished typing it, the word “Princess” appeared before her name. I just shrugged and saved.

“Puff, are you ready?” Gilda asked

“For?”

“For Placements…” She looked in my eyes ,and knew I didn’t know what she was talking about, “The tests we take to see what assignments we get for this stupid war…”

I honestly didn’t know what was happening anymore. I just stood there with this cheesy ,unknowing look on my beak. Gilda started to rub her eyes and took deep breaths. Maybe, I was agitating her.

“Do you even know what’s happening tomorrow?”

“Nope…”

“Is this really your first day here…”

Gilda went on to explain the situation to me. Apparently, there will be a series of tests (hunting, hand-to-hand combat, weapons, etc) which we will be judged and then put into different parts of the military. These griffons are getting serious about this war stuff…ugh. Diving in my thoughts, I jumped onto a counter, and sat with my back straight. It was normal to me, but weird to Gilda.

“Seriously, how do you sit like that?” Gilda asked.

“Like what?”

“Like that!”

I looked down at myself and realized that I was basically being the griffon version of Lyra. I immediately jumped from the counter.  I walked over to the other side of the room, and tried to ignore the question. I know it wasn’t natural for a griffon, but that’s how I usually sat as a human.  It was basically a habit. I ignored the question for some time, yet I could feel her eyes look at my back.

“The food is done! “guffawed Gustave. Thank Celestia he said that..

“Okay! Let’s eat!” I rushed passed Gilda, “Erm…so what do you call them?!”

What Gustave cooked looked nothing more than baked chicken. I honestly thought it would be something more…eh…culinary. . Even if they weren’t real, it smelled intoxicating. I couldn’t help but drool a bit. Gustave left and returned with bread and cheese. My first meal in Equestria…will be some backed chicken. Oh well, right? Could be worse…or better.  Gustave handed Gilda and I two pieces.  We picked them up and bit into them. The flavor was…decent. What? Were you expecting me to say they were amazing or teeming with flavor? Well, no. I could definitely taste that it was fake, but food was food. I kept eating. By looks of it, Gustave and Gilda didn’t mind the taste.

We finished eating, and even helped clean the kitchen. Much easier with claws. With all the food devoured and kitchen cleaned, we sat in the comfort of each others presence. It was still very awkward, but at least I met some people I can trust.  I could have stayed there, but of course luck wasn’t on my side.

“I heard something in the mess hall.” We all heard a voice say and footsteps grow louder.

“I heard it, too.” Replied somebody.

All three of looked at each other, unsure of what to do. The footsteps came closer. I was frozen still and useless, Gilda kept her unworried expression, and Gustave, probably the most useful of the group, ran to a window and opened it. “Hurry and exit from here. There’s a path behind the place that leads to the dormitories. Stay on it, and you’ll be safe.”

We wasted no time. Both Gilda and I flew through the window. She ,more expertly than I. I turned back, and patted Gustave on his shoulder, “Thankyou. For the food and the escape route…but maybe you should stick to pastries.” He simply smiled before harshly shoving me out the window.  After I recovered, Both Gilda and I ran for our dormitories. Flying would probably raise alarm. Or rather we couldn’t from our wings since they hurting from flying..

We arrived safely to our rooms, and, luckily, the doors weren’t lock.  Stealthily, as much as I could, we snuck into our room. The same one as before. Fortunately, for me, my bed wasn’t taken by any of the other griffons that now filled the room, but my pillow was missing. It was hard anyway. Not much of a loss. I climbed into the not-so-welcoming bed, and Gilda climbed into the next to mine. Next thing I knew, I felt something soft hit my face. “Take my pillow, dweeb,” she whispered, “It’s too soft for me. Besides, you’ll need something to comfort you tonight before your beak gets smashed in.”

“Thanks for the confidence boost.” I put the pillow under my head  and closed my eyes, “Goodnight.”

My words were met with a slight grumble, and a snore. I was the last pers-…griffon awake.  Probably a sign I should sleep too. I got comfortable in bed and slept. One final thought before I drifted off to bed…the pillow was too soft.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke in the same room as before,where I met Luna. So, I suppose I was in a dream. This time, I didn’t have ropes around my arms. I was just there. Deciding on the best route, I waited for Luna. It didn’t take he long to appear, but she did look annoyed.

“Long night?” I asked.

“You couldn’t fathom it,” She answered as she landed, “Now; I have to deal with you. “

“My friends say I’m good company.”

The princess only sighed as she conjured a chalk board. Yes, a chalk board. I haven’t seen one of those in ages. Hastily, I ran to the board and laid in front of it. Luna was too preoccupied with drawing to notice. When she finished and saw me, she could only rub the side of her head.

“We can’t believe we’re using you as a scout. Anyway, there will be only four tests tomorrow: Hunting, fighting, weapons, and teamwork.”

“Okay…”

“Chances are, you’ll fail all of them, and will be sent away.”

“Wow…thanks for the ego boost…” It seemed like no one believed in me. Was I really that much of an underdog.

“Look at the odds. These griffons have been training for months, and then there is you. I would wager you can't throw a decent punch.”

“You know, you’re not helping the situation...”

She pointed to the black board, and smiled. “That’s why we’re going to cheat.”

I honestly didn’t expect Luna to say those words. I believed Celestia would cheat before Luna, but hey…I’m new here. Before my eyes, the blackboard changed and started to show thick woods filled with woodland creatures all running with endless energy. Right then, I knew I wouldn't catch any of them without help.

“For the hunting segment, you’ll be put in a remote forest. Your job will be to catch something as quickly as you can. Time is the factor, not what you catch, but don’t catch something stupid like a mouse. Since, you’re pretty useless as a griffon, and as anything else, we placed a bush with berries that puts anything to sleep within seconds.”  The chalk board then showed the position of the bush in the forest.”

“So a green bush with blue berries.” I said.

“So you can learn. Don’t be stupid and eat them yourself, okay? Catch at least three creatures to win. Now, the weapons. That’s tricky. Im pretty you never touched one in your life.”

“No…”

“Of course…There will be cross bows, bow & arrows, swords, daggers, and pole arms. All you will do is show how well you can use the weapon against a dummy, but since you never touched one of these before, they'll be enchanted. All you have to do is move along with them. Make it believable. You’ll learn how to use them for real, later. ”

“Okay, but...”

“No, you will not be perfect. You’ll get passing score, but not perfect. We don’t want them to think you’re a progeny, right? The other two tests you’re on your own. Fighting and teamwork come natural. Good luck.”

“But…” I didn’t get finish my statement before she put me back to sleep. Damn it, Luna and her blasted sleep spell. When, I see that blasted unicorn, I’ll get revenge. I’ll thank her for one thing, though. I had the best night of sleep of my life. I had to thank her. It prepared me for the next day of tests.