Wow. My first big gig! It’s pretty sweet, I guess. Somepony less cool than me would totally be freaking out over this, but hey, even Dash tries to copy my style; I must be doing something right. So I’m playing it cool backstage right now, just in sight of my turntables. They’re playing a few tracks to warm the crowd up, some pretty heavy beats, but nothing compared to what I’ve got in store. I messed around inside the cabs, got my old pal Pinks to sort out the amp system, so I’ve got a little surprise for my ponies in the front; in the nosebleed section. Man, I can’t wait!
Oh man, that’s my cue! I’m heading on stage. This is it. The batters are in the box and Vinyl’s up to pitch.
“DJ PON-3’S UP IN THIS BITCH!”
Most of them cheer, they’re already a bit tipsy and they’d cheer for anypony saying anything from a stage right now. Nopony here knows my name, not yet anyway. It’ll be a different story after tonight, DJ Pon-3 will be a household name across Equestria. There’ll be ponies knocking down my door for an audience with awesome. But, I guess I’ll have to spin my first track before any of that happens. It’s a mix of something I cooked up a while back; hip-hop elements but with a ton of bass, bit of sampling, and a whole heap of bad-flank beats, just how it should be, and just the way I like it.
Yeah, fame is coming my way, no doubt about it. I mean, it’s been a long time in getting here but it’ll all be worth it once it arrives. I’ll be honest; this life hasn’t turned out exactly like I’d planned. By now, I should have had my own place to crash instead of renting out some dive on a weekly basis. Some money to my name wouldn’t go amiss either, like fifty grand or so, enough for that apartment of my own plus some new mixing kit. I could even get a few wild nights out after all that. I don’t ask for much, as money isn’t everything, but it sure is something.
Instead I’ve just got my name and these decks. Well, I guess I have two names now, kinda tough to keep them both in check sometimes. DJ Pon-3’s in the spotlight right now, but it’s Vinyl that writes all the rhythms, books all the gigs, sorts out all the boring stuff really; she is the sensible one. Well, she’s more sensible at least. I guess it’s always handy having that little bit of control. I mean, only a few gigs ago some stallion comes up to me at the bar and shows me some of his powder, lays a line out right there on the bar and says it’ll keep me raving into all hours and whatever. I got so tempted just to give it a go. Why not, y’know? And, I would have done if I hadn’t have stopped myself and thought, ‘would I rather be that mare snorting lines in the toilets on a night out, or that mare going crazy in the front row, having a sweet time with just the music and a few drinks?’ It was a pretty obvious answer in the end… I blew his line over the bar in a cloud of white! The look on his face was brilliant!
Of course, looking back at it, that probably wasn’t the smartest thing I could have done. I don’t know how much that shit costs exactly, but I know it isn’t cheap. Things could have gotten aggressive. I guess I’m luckier than I realise. Oh man, if you could see these ponies right now! A few have moved away, that’s cool. I guess not everypony can handle the bass force, but the ones that have stayed close look like they’ve been through a hurricane, and I’m just getting started! It’s time for a perfect merge into some drum ‘n’ bass. It’s a little less heavy, there’s not as much going on in the track but the BPM is off the scale, so everypony in the front row will love it. I know because I love it, and if I love it, it’s awesome, just like the ponies in the front row.
I guess this music is my life. I mean; it’s in everything I do. I remember ages ago, and I’m talking years here, I met my first marefriend in the front row of somepony else’s gig. I was mixing a bit back then, no original tracks of my own or anything, just messing about with other stuff out in the club scene, and we used to put those tracks on when we were in the bedroom. She was a bit of a wild one but we were both fresh out of our parents’ homes, out into the not-so-wide world of Ponyville, so we didn’t know what we were doing. The music would keep playing long after we’d fallen asleep, exhausted, and it’d be the first thing we woke up to.
Times were pretty good I guess, but it didn’t last. We were both a bit full of ourselves back then. Both of us wanted to be wearing the pants in the relationship, figuratively speaking, and we had a huge falling out over it. We parted ways, hating one another, and we never spoke again. She found somepony willing to let her wear the pants, literally this time, and I found Octavia so I guess I should thank that bitch for getting out of my life, that plus I wrote some really cool stuff after that breakup. We see each other around Ponyville now and then, she’s with her new marefriend, and I’m with mine, we make eye contact, glare for a bit, then trot on. It’s kinda awkward because she was friends with Tavi before we got together and they still like to see each other. I could probably drag myself to one of these couples things if I had to but it’s hard work talking to Bon Bon, her new marefriend. I mean, she’s nice enough but we don’t really have anything to talk about y’know?
Whew, it’s getting heated up here. The stallion behind the bar said I could just give him a signal when I fancied a drink and it’d be on the house, so if I can just wave about at him a bit maybe he’ll notice… yes! He’s on his way. Better focus back on the decks, I think the treble needs a boost round about here, and if I think the treble needs boosting, the treble needs boosting.
Aaaaand here he comes with… a bottle of beer. Ugh. Does he not know who I am? Or, well, who I’m going to be? When I make it big, all the clubs will know that when DJ Pon-3 signals for a drink she’ll take her whiskey straight, no chaser. Still, I guess I should be thankful; a free drink is a free drink, after all. Besides, can’t be looking anything short of incredible for these crazy ponies in the front row, which means looking happy while drinking this cheap piss they have in these bottles.
Time to merge to track three, baby! Now, that’s cheered me up! It’s the heaviest, most awesomest, radicalest clusterfuck of bass anypony’s ever had grace their ears. I should know, I wrote it. Just need to lower the BPM a little, bring the treble down, start the fade, and bass up to eleven. Perfect.
There are a few more ponies moving away from the front, but the ones left are the elite, just like me. They’re pushing and shoving to get closer to my awesome bass, a couple even have nosebleeds, yes! I knew it would work, they’re loving it! Sweating, bloodied, drinks all down them, I love these freaks in the front row!
Man, if only Tavi were here, then it’d be a perfect night. It’s not really her scene, though. I mean, she came to a couple of my smaller gigs, but a place this big is the last place she’d want to come to when every air particle is vibrating from my epic noise. Have I mentioned I love this stuff? Because I LOVE this stuff. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to treat my marefriend, though. Sure, she’s into some things that aren’t quite as awesome as I am, but they’re still pretty cool, I guess. She likes some of that romantic stuff like walks on the beach and dressing up to go out places, which is fine. I’ll go along with all that to spend time with her but I think we need a compromise. Maybe we could go for a dinner date at one of those real posh Canterlot restaurants, where they don’t let you in without clothes, then out to a club where we’d rip off our posh dresses, jump around in the front row covered in sweat and drinks and… oh man, it’s warm in here. I guess the night doesn’t have to end once I’m finished here, maybe she can still be involved to make it a perfect night, if you know what I mean.
Well here comes the big finish to my set, everything’s turned up to the max. I’ll even put a little reverb on to really make it fill the place. And here, we, go… BOOM. “THANK YOU, PONYVILLE!”
Yes! They’re all cheering and stomping the ground. I totally nailed it! Next stop: fame and fortune. I should get my own club soon! Actually I remember Pinks saying something about the Apple family having a spare barn she sometimes used for parties; I should look into that. However, there are more pressing issues at hoof right now. Gotta pick up my pay on my way out. I’d normally stop for a drink or three while they’re on the house but there’s something better than free drinks waiting for me back at my crummy apartment. I might have to wake her up first, though. Counting it out in a hurry in the manager’s office, they’ve given me one hundred and fifty Equestrian bits. I could blow that all on one night out, but I guess I don’t really do this for the money. I don’t really do it for the applause either. I do it for the front row; The Nosebleed Section.
