Genius in Canterlot

by AspergerGoodness

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Comedy
Length: 11110

Derpy Hooves moves out to Canterlot, to find out that everypony there adores her.

After Derpy Hooves accidentally causes a disaster in some important party at the Ponyville Hall (luckily not killing anyone), she eventually gets kicked out, and decides to move to Canterlot. There, she discovers that not only everypony loves her and accepts her for who she is, but they also pretty much ADORE her… but what to do about her friends in Ponyville?

Based on "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Genius in France" song, 12th track in his Poodle Hat album. I recommend you check out his work sometime, he's got some pretty good stuff besides "White and Nerdy", "Perform This Way" and polka medleys.

Haters and possible murderers are welcome and treated with unsincere respect.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-29 14:13:04 UTC

Ain't You Just Special?

  Pinkie Pie hopped along the path to Derpy Hooves's house. It was a beautiful morning so far, with no clouds in sight and all the birds were singing a catchy little tune. Pinkie said hello to everypony in sight, and they were all really happy as well. Why? Princess Celestia is coming to town for a little visit, to see how things are going. Pinkie took care of the party, as always, and was handing out invitations to everyone.

  Derpy's house wasn't as clean as you'd expect a normal house to be, but hey... at least you could still walk in. Pinkie knocked at the door, to be greeted by the cross-eyed mare.

  "Hey there, Derpy!", said Pinkie Pie. "Are you busy today?"

  "Hah, not at all!", said Derpy, sounding clumsy as usual. "Why?"

  "Well, here's your invitation to Celestia's welcome party!"

  As soon as Pinkie took out her invitation, Derpy grabbed it with all of her excitement.

  "Thank you, Pinkie!", said Derpy, happier than ever. "I've never been invited to that before!"

  "Well, Twilight said I shouldn't invite you.", said Pinkie Pie. "She thinks you're too clumsy, and will ruin the party as soon as you find a chance."

  "Did she really say that? Just because I have a mental problem, doesn't mean I'm going to ruin everything."

  "I know. I'm sure it's going to be really fun if you go!"

  "Well, I should get myself ready. See you at the party!"

  "See ya!"

  As Derpy closed the door, her smile instantly doubled its size, as she started hopping around her house, joyful as a foal in a candy factory (or Pinkie Pie... whatever you find easier to imagine). She did a little dance before realizing she didn't have a thing to wear. It was a special party, after all. It can't be a special party if you're not dressed as such, right? Suddenly, she had an idea, and went out of her house, jumping of joy.

  Derpy knocked at Rarity's door, tapping her hooves on the floor. The door opened to reveal Sweetie Belle at the other side.

  "Umm...", said Derpy. "... normally, Rarity's the one who opens the door."

  "Oh, hi, Derpy.", said Sweetie Belle. "My sister's kind of busy, so she couldn't answer the door. She told me to ask what you wanted."

  "Well... I'd like to order a dress for tomorrow's welcome party."

  "Why didn't you say so?", said Rarity, coming out of nowhere, with her red glasses on. "Come in, dear. I've got the perfect choice for you!"

  Rarity then started showing lots and lots of dresses, to see which one was Derpy's favorite.

  "I like that one.", said Derpy, pointing to a lone dress in the corner of the room. It was light blue and had a few holes in it.

  "... oh. That one?", said Rarity, in a nervous tone. "Are you sure? There are so many of them, why would you bother using that one?"

  "It looks pretty. I like pretty."

  Derpy made a cute little smile as she said that.

  "Okay... let me fix those holes in it, then."

  "No problem."

  "Here's your new dress...", said Rarity, as she showed the light-blue dress to her customer. It was the simplest thing she had ever done.

  "Wow!", said Derpy, in an amazed tone. "Such a shiny color! Let me try it!"

  "Sure..."

  Derpy skipped to the changing room. Two minutes later, she came out, with her light-blue dress on. Rarity felt forced to admit - she looked amazing in it, somehow. Or maybe it was the other way around.

  "Do I look pretty?", asked Derpy, with the most innocent smile ever conceived by anypony.

  "Well... you see...", said Rarity, not knowing what to tell her.

  "... yeah!", interrupted Sweetie Belle.

  "Oh, thank you!", said Derpy, skipping out of Rarity's house.

  "Why does she need a dress anyway?"

  "I forgot to ask.", said Rarity. "But Pinkie told me she was going to invite her for Celestia's welcome party. Quite a mistake, if you ask me."

  Derpy skipped around Ponyville, not having much to do besides derping around, showing off her dress to the townsfolk. She managed to get some good comments about it, saying thank-you to each one of them. She felt like the prettiest pony around town, as she found Twilight in the park, reading a book called... who cares, really? Anyway, Derpy decided to sit by Twilight's side, after some walking around.

  "Hey, Twilight!", said Derpy. "What book are you reading?"

  "Hi, Derpy.", said Twilight, putting the book down. "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream."

  "What are you talking about? You've got a mouth right there."

  "It's the name of the book. I don't usually read this kind of stuff, but I got curious enough to give it a try. Anyway, what's that dress for?"

  "Oh, you noticed? It's for Princess Celestia's welcome party tomorrow!"

  "... shouldn't you use it tomorrow then? Rather than right now?"

  "I guess you're right..."

  "I tried to convince Pinkie Pie to not invite you at first, but she wouldn't listen to me. The dress looks good on you, though."

  "Why wouldn't you want me there? I thought we were friends, or something."

  "Well... you see, it's complicated. Just be glad that you were invited."

  "Is it because I'm too... y'know, disastrous?"

  "You're not disastrous... I think. Just... try not to do anything to make it go wrong, okay? It's Princess Celestia that we're talking about."

  "Alright, alright... well, I gotta go. See you at the party!"

  "One more thing..."

  "What?"

  "You don't have to use a dress for the party... so you're going to get lots of attention there."

  "... if it's so special, why don't we usually wear dresses for it?"

  "I don't know..."

  "At least I can still wear it, right?"

  "Sure."

  "Okay. See ya!"

  "See ya."

  Derpy skipped along the path back to her house. She couldn't wait for the party tomorrow. It was going to be great. Of course, it was Celestia's party, so it was going to be one of those formal events. It was okay, though. Derpy liked formal events... even though she had never been to one in her life. The word "formal" sounded nice, though. A "formal event". Derpy liked the sound of it. Formal event... formal event... formalevent! A new word!

  Derpy came back to her original thoughts. The formal event. Yeah. It was going to be great.

Beautiful Disaster

  Derpy woke up the next morning, on her humble, small-sized bed. She'd usually get up at 8 o' clock, but the formality of Princess Celestia's welcome party was enough to get her out of bed two hours earlier. Derpy wondered why she didn't get any blankets when she got to sleep yesterday night. It was a pretty cold night, after all. One does not simply go to bed on a cold night without any blankets. She then realized she was still wearing the dress she got from Rarity.

  "Neat!", commented Derpy. "It's pretty and comfy at the same time!"

  Derpy jumped out of her house, pulling a few badly-planned stunts in the turquoise sky.

  "Wake up, everybody! It's a beautiful Summer day!", yelled Derpy, with joy in her voice.

  "We're in the middle of Winter.", said Pinkie Pie, who was taking a nice walk around town. "Oh, I forgot to say hi. Hi, Derpy!"

  "Hey, Pinkie. Rarity made the perfect dress for me! Do you like it?"

  "It looks perfect on you!... or maybe it's the other way around, I don't know... but you still look perfect in it!"

  "Hee-hee, thanks... hey, I forgot to ask you--"

  "When's the welcome party?"

  "Yeah."

  "We still got five hours... why did you wake up so early anyway?"

  "Heheh... I'm usually not invited to such a formal event like Princess Celestia's welcoming party. I'm starting to feel so important, now that I'm finally being recognized as a true citizen of Ponyville!"

  "... you know, I'm the one who took care of the whole party. It was me who decided to invite you."

  "Really?... thank you so much. I'm glad to see that somepony likes me for who I am. I can't say I'm the brightest crayon in the box."

  "No problem at all! In fact, that's exactly why I think you're so funny and... likeable."

  "Heh... so what do we do now?"

  "I know! We could be the very very very first ones to arrive at the party! Then we can greet every single pony that arrives after us!"

  "Nice idea."

  Pinkie unlocked the door, and skipped into the building while Derpy slowly walked in, with awe-filled reverence toward the wonderful decorations that infested the place.

  "You really put a lot of work into this...", commented Derpy, admiring the table tops and subtle yet attractive banners around the main one.

  "Yeah... Rarity and Twilight helped me out.", said Pinkie Pie, looking at her work results with a proud smile.

  "Nice."

  Pinkie remained silent for what felt like five minutes, admiring her and her friends' beautiful works. She then snapped out of it, and she turned to her side to see Derpy standing completely still. Her confused eyes were wider than usual. All of that along with the cutest smile, with the innocence of a small little foal.

  "... you know...", said Pinkie, trying to break the silence, but still with a quiet tone. "... we don't usually go for this level of perfect and beautiful. However, this isn't just anypony's party. This is Princess Celestia's party. We know how special she is, especially Twilight. I bet she's going to be proud of us."

  Derpy decided to just move her head up and down, as if agreeing to what Pinkie said.

  "Hello?", said a young boy's voice. "Anypony home?"

  "Oop!", said Pinkie Pie, snapping back to her party self. "Hello, Spike! Hello, Twilight!"

  "What are you doing here so early?", asked Twilight, coming in along with Spike.

  "Derpy got out of bed too early, so we decided to be the very very very first ones to arrive!"

  "... she seems to be in some kind of trance.", said Spike. Derpy was still sitting in place, with the same expression as before. Same wide eyes, same innocent smile.

  "That's really common along the ones with her syndrome.", said Twilight. "I'll need a bucket of water."

  "One bucket of water incoming!", said Spike, before getting his way blocked by Pinkie Pie's hoof.

  "Gee, guys, no need to use extreme methods.", said Pinkie, shaking Derpy's shoulder for a few seconds.

  "Huh?", said Derpy, snapping back into reality. "Oh... oh, hey, Twilight. How are you?"

  "Good.", said Twilight. "Try not to go into those trances too often. It really creeps ponies out."

  "Oop!", said Pinkie at the sight of new guests. "Hello, Applejack, Rarity!"

  "Howdy.", said Applejack.

  "Hello.", said Rarity. "It seems you're enjoying your new dress, Derpy."

  "Oh yeah.", said Derpy, nodding joyfully. "It's really pretty, and comfy as well!"

  "Glad I could help."

  "What time is it again?", asked Spike.

  "Would you look at that?", said Pinkie Pie, looking at the clock hanging on the wall. "It's almost time for the party to start!"

  "Twilight, this party is quite delightful, as last year's.", said Princess Celestia, as she drank another cup of tea. "However, I'm spotting a rather cheerful character that you didn't introduce me to yet."

  "Oh, you mean Derpy Hooves?", said Twilight. "Yeah, I don't think you've seen her before."

  Derpy was playing with a dustball on the corner, like a small child.

  "She looks rather... different... unusual, I'd say."

  "Well, she does have a mental problem which seems to affect her intelligence."

  "I see... she seems really happy, though."

  "Princess Celestia!", said the Mayor, coming to the Princess's other side. "I just want to say, I'm thrilled by your visit here!"

  "No problem. It seems to me that things are going really well too. Congratulations on that."

  "It's not easy, I'll tell you..."

  While they talked, Derpy was still busy playing with that dustball. She eventually bumped into Pinkie Pie, who wasn't doing anything too relevant, either.

  "Oh, hey, Derpy.", said Pinkie Pie. "Great party, isn't it?"

  "Yeah?", said Derpy, still playing with her dustball. "I didn't notice much of it."

  "Twilight is afraid that you might cause some nasty trouble, but look at you. You wouldn't hurt a single fly, would you?"

  "I guess not."

  "Hey! Let's play a game of dustball!"

  "Cool! Okay, let's see... what are the rules?"

  "We'll make up the rules as we play. It's kinda like Calvinball."

  "Okay."

  Derpy and Pinkie started playing with the dustball, running around the building like two little kids. It was a really cute sight, actually.

  "While not that intelligent...", said Princess Celestia. "... she still seems to be highly sociable."

  "Well, it's Pinkie Pie.", said Twilight. "She wants to be friends with everypony."

  "Yes, but I can still see something beyond her crossed eyes. She looks like a nice friend to have... what does she do for a living?"

  "She's had a lot of jobs, actually. Her longest one was mail delivery."

  "Interesting... does she face a lot of prejudice? One with a syndrome like that usually faces a lot of it."

  "Sometimes... not a big deal."

  "It's always a big deal."

  "Heh, well, you know what I mean."

  "This is fun!", said Derpy, as she played with the dustball, along with Pinkie Pie.

  "Derpy, you should watch your step.", said Pinkie Pie. "There's not too much space in the place we're in now."

  Derpy didn't hear her. They just kept playing with the dustball... until Derpy bumped into something. She had bumped into it with a rather significant force. That something felt wooden-like, and was imagined to be just part of the decoration. Derpy tried to focus her sight on it, before Pinkie Pie jumped at her, bringing her to the floor. Next thing they knew, there was a loud noise, and dust could be seen everywhere.

  "... what was that?", asked Derpy, before the dust had settled down to reveal the scene of a complete disaster. A few wooden columns were brought down, and everypony looked scared as heck.

  "Nopony's hurt!", warned Fluttershy after a few seconds of silence.

  "Good.", said the Mayor, looking frustrated. "Now, who's responsible for this atrocity?"

  Derpy, oblivious as usual, raised her hoof in shame.

  "I see.", said the Mayor. "Ditzy Doo, I sentence you to one week in house arrest!"

  "Okay...", whispered Derpy in a shameful tone.

  "It's not that bad.", whispered Pinkie Pie, in kind of a sadder tone.

  "Well, now.", said Princess Celestia, after thinking about the situation. "I'm afraid this will have to be done."

  "What are you talking about?", said Twilight.

  "Ditzy Doo, I am going to have to banish you from the fair city of Ponyville."

  This shocked a few ponies, especially the Mane 6 and Derpy herself. The other ones were looking kind of frustrated, or even angry at the gray-coated mare.

  "WHAT?!", exclaimed Derpy. "But... but... but why?!"

  "Princess Celestia...", said Twilight.

  "I know what I'm doing, Twilight.", said the Princess. "This has to be done, for the safety of the population."

  Derpy was slowly tearing up, before she flew away as fast as she could, crying her child's heart out.

  "No!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "Don't listen to her! Come back!"

  "See?", said Rarity. "That's why we shouldn't have invited her. Something like this was bound to happen."

  "Princess, why would you do that?", asked Twilight in awe.

  "Trust me, Twilight.", said the Princess. "You will see where I'm going with this."

Movin' Out

  Pinkie Pie walked over to Derpy's house in the next morning, feeling sorry for what had happened yesterday. It wasn't Derpy's fault... it was, actually, but she didn't mean to do it. She'd never expect Princess Celestia to just kick her out of town like that. She wasn't like that at all. Where was the kind-hearted alicorn that everypony respected and loved? Why would she do such a thing to such an innocent, defenseless creature? It didn't matter now.

  Arriving at Derpy's house, Pinkie Pie knocked on the door. It took around thirty seconds for the door to finally open. Derpy was at the other side, wearing the same blue dress from two days ago. Her eyes were reddish, as if she had been crying recently.

  "Oh...", said Derpy, in a gloomy tone. "... hi there, Pinkie Pie. Come in."

  Pinkie Pie wiped her hooves before going inside, to see one of the cleanest places she had ever seen.

  "How did this place get so squeaky-clean?", asked Pinkie Pie, rather impressed.

  "Well...", said Derpy. "... this house is on sale, so I thought I'd set it up for whoever's willing to buy it... can you help me pack up?"

  "About that... Derpy, I beg you, please don't move away! You're one of my very very very best friends, you can't just go like that! If you're moving away, then I'll move away as well."

  "But you have friends around here. Lots and lots of friends. A stupid pony like me only has one friend, and that would be you."

  "You're not stupid. Although you're not very smart... and you tend to be a little clumsy sometimes."

  "YOU'RE NOT HELPING."

  "Sorry, I'm really sorry. What I'm trying to say is, you're still one of the wisest ponies I know. You may not look like one, but I think you're a true genius."

  "I really appreciate your help, Pinkie, but fate can't be changed. They're Princess Celestia's orders, and I can't disobey them. Now, would you help me pack up?"

  "... okay."

  Derpy and Pinkie went to her bedroom, to find an empty bed with only a pillow on top of it.

  "... I guess I don't have anything to bring along.", said Derpy, with an unsincere chuckle.

  "Does that mean you're... moving out already?", asked Pinkie Pie.

  "Well... yeah. I guess this is goodbye for now."

  Pinkie let a few tears flow across her cheeks, as the two sad ponies went outside.

  "Let's hope you make some more friends in another town.", said Pinkie, with an unsincere smile.

  "Yeah...", sighed Derpy. "... it's been a great time with you and the other guys. I hope we can meet again sometime."

  Derpy started walking to the road, before Pinkie stopped her by walking in front of her.

  "Pinkie, I should be going now.", said Derpy, with a frustrated tone.

  "Before you go...", said Pinkie. "... I'd like to give you something... as a goodbye gift."

  "... what is it?"

  Pinkie Pie leaned over to give Derpy the warmest, friendliest, sincerest hug she had ever gotten. Derpy started to tear up as well, and hugged her friend too. It was a really sad moment, but the friendship contained in it helped make it bearable. They hugged for what felt like forever, until Pinkie finally decided to let go. Her face was soaking wet, just like Derpy's face. They both smiled as they realized how much of a friendship they had. They were, like, best friends forever, or something.

  "See if you can move to a better place.", said Pinkie Pie, sincerity contained in her smile.

  "A magical, far away place.", joked Derpy.

  "Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer."

  "And the towels are oh-so-fluffy!"

  "Haha, okay. I think you should go then."

  "Bye, Pinkie. It was nice knowing you."

  Pinkie waved at her cross-eyed friend, who hovered towards the road leading out of Ponyville, still with her blue dress on.

  "Don't forget to write!", said Pinkie Pie, feeling a bit happier about all this.

  "I won't!", said Derpy, feeling the same thing.

  Pinkie stared at her for a while, as she hovered into the horizon. It was a pretty sight, somehow.

  In the early night, Derpy sat down on a park bench, after she had traveled all day, with no place to go. The sky was still dark blue, and the road was pretty much empty. The scenery was just some random park in the middle of the road leading to Canterlot. Derpy started to cry silently, afraid of all the worst things that could happen at that moment. None of that would have happened if Pinkie hadn't invited her for that stupid party. It wasn't Pinkie's fault, though. They were great friends after all, so you'd expect something like an invitation to happen sooner or later.

  After quite some deep thinking (relatively speaking), Derpy noticed a humble-looking earth pony standing next to her with a box of chocolates on his lap. He looked friendly enough to start a conversation with.

  "... hello.", said Derpy, trying to sound friendly.

  "Oh.", said the humble earth pony. "Hello there, pretty lady."

  "My name is Ditzy Doo... but most ponies call me Derpy Hooves."

  "Name's Petherick. Most o' my companions call me Ol' Pete, for convenience's sake, and I tend to like that name better as well. So just call me Pete."

  "Okay, Pete. What are you doing around here?"

  "Y'know... headin' off to the big city, t'see if I'll get a decent job around there. How 'bout you?"

  "I'm going to Canterlot. I used to live in Ponyville."

  "Home of the Mane 6? That sounds like a good place to stay at with those heroes around!"

  "Yeah... they're great friends. In fact, I think they are the best friends you could ever have. Especially the pink one. It's a laugh a minute with her."

  "I don't get it. Why are you leaving, when you've had so much?"

  "I ruined Princess Celestia's welcome party, and she kicked me out. Now I'm here, talking to you about it."

  "Gee, that's not something Princess Celestia would do... I'm sorry for you."

  "Now I'm going to Canterlot to see if I can have a better time trying to socialize."

  "Good luck to you. Want some chocolates?"

  "Don't mind if I do!"

  Derpy took around five chocolates from Pete's box, and started chowing them down.

  "You know, I think I understand you more than you think I do.", said Pete. "No offense, but you look like the kind of person with Dittzer's syndrome. Am I right here?"

  "... yeah."

  "I have a friend that has the same condition as you. He's a wonky old fellow, and he was bullied everyday when he was in high school. I've heard he got a negative number on his SATs. He isn't good-looking, and he's kind of disgusting as well. But there is one thing that he can do better than anypony else."

  "What is it?"

  "That dude can dance."

  "Whoa."

  "And I mean dance."

  "Whoa, ho ho."

  "He looks like a total jerk. But when he walks in the door, all the ladies scream. You should see his moves, I don't know how such a boring guy like him can dance so well. And, after all those years of friendship, he has taught me a valuable lesson: it doesn't matter how dumb you are... or how clumsy you are... or how utterly stupid, retarded and ugly you are. Everypony, and I mean every stinkin' pony, has got a unique feature deep inside their souls that shows how special they are. It doesn't have to be unique, actually. It only matters, though, if it makes you truly special, and significant among all the other ponies in the room. In other words: we can all find our true qualities if we put our differences behind us... and that's all I have to say about that."

  Derpy didn't say anything for a few minutes. She was too busy crying from what she had just heard.

  "Everything okay?", asked Pete.

  "... yeah. Thanks, Pete. I'll always have a bit of hope left in my heart, as long as I know that there are ponies like you and Pinkie Pie around this world."

  "Always tryin' to help, it's what I look forward to be. You're welcome."

  "I gotta go now. You have motivated me to go forward and only stop when I reach my destination!"

  "Haha, okay! Bye, and say hello to whatever friends you get that happen to know me."

  "I will!"

  Derpy got up and flew across the road to Canterlot, stopping at nothing to reach her destination.

I Miss You Much

  It was a beautiful morning. Twilight was taking a casual walk around town, while the sky was light blue and the birds were singing like usual. Something felt different, though. It felt like something was missing in that whole scenario. Something that made the whole scenery a tad more pleasant to look at. "Oh well.", she thought.

  "Hey there, Twilight.", said Pinkie Pie, coming out of nowhere... but still in a sad tone. "Something missing here, huh?"

  "Where did you come from?", asked Twilight, before realizing that her friend needed help. "... what's wrong?"

  "Nothing that I can't handle... by myself."

  "Come on, that's not the Pinkie Pie I know. Maybe I can help you."

  "... you know how every morning, the sky would turn light blue, the birds would sing their song, and a certain blonde pegasus would fly around like a young child? AHEM... that is, before Celestia kicked her out, of course."

  "... Pinkie, do I smell some miss-you blues around here?"

  "More like greys... but yeah."

  "Pinkie, I want you to know that I'm feeling the same thing as you. We all are... not as much as you, but still. I don't know why Princess Celestia would do such a cruel thing to such an innocent pony like Derpy Hooves."

  "Yeah... it sucks, really."

  Pinkie kicked a nearby rock on the ground, demonstrating unhappiness.

  "Pinkie, I'm rather impressed by how much you support Derpy.", said Twilight, with an analyzing look. "Sure, you're friends with everypony and all... but you seem to be much closer to her than the others. Almost to the point of... loving her."

  "Haha, nay. It's just a really strong friendship, that's all."

  "What do you like about her? Just curious."

  "Oh, you know... she's always smiling, she's funny, wise, childish, creative, talented, and so beautiful--"

  "Gotcha."

  "Haha, darn it... okay, I may like her a little more than usual... but that's it."

  "I talked about it with Rainbow Dash before, and she had the same answer. Come on, don't be shy."

  "... fine. You're right. But let's not talk about that right now."

  "You know... I think we should try to get her back, since we all miss her that much."

  "Yeah, but how are we going to do that?"

  "Isn't it obvious? We'll go after her, tell her we miss her and she gets back."

  "What about Princess Celestia? She'll be really mad at you, and maybe she'll punish you good."

  "We'll just prove her wrong. I don't want to do this, but I demand a good reason for her to do such cruelty."

  "Twilight, are you saying you're going to break Celestia's rule and then fight her wits, just so we can be happy again?"

  "In a word... yes."

  Pinkie Pie hugged Twilight with all of her pride.

  "Thank you!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

  "Just one will do just fine.", joked Twilight.

  "Do I hear that you're bringing Derpy back?", asked Rarity, who was conveniently walking by.

  "Yeah!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "May I come along? I feel sorry for what happened at the party, and I feel like that blue dress I made for her symbolizes our friendship."

  "You can come along.", said Twilight. "Now, Pinkie, where did Derpy go?"

  "When I last saw her, she went on that road over there."

  "The road to Canterlot?", asked Rarity. "What is she going to do there?"

  "After what happened two days ago...", said Twilight. "... she'd figure that every single town that isn't Ponyville would be a better place."

  "Let's save Derpy!", said Pinkie Pie. "On to Canterlot!"

  "Wake up.", said a familiar voice to Derpy, who had fallen asleep on a different park bench.

  "Huh...", mumbled Derpy. "... wha... what? Where am I?"

  The voice turned out to come from Petherick himself. The sun was already up in the sky an hour ago.

  "You just fell asleep ten minutes after our conversation!", said Pete, while laughing innocently, like an old guy. "Weren't you going to Canterlot or some similar place?"

  "Oh. Right! I'm off to Canterlot!"

  "Heheheh... good luck!"

  Another hour later, Derpy arrived at Canterlot, having never been so tired before. There was a sign at the city gates that said "Welcome to Canterlot. Population: 27,000."

  As she wandered along the confusing pathing, she could spot a few sneaky-lookers here and there. She then sighed, reminding herself that she looked way different than the others.

  After a few information requests here and there, Derpy sat on another park bench, trying to figure out where to start things up. She sure wasn't used to moving out to a whole new town like that. At least she could get back to the start, to try and not bring chaos to some formal event again. Of course, that would mean no more playing around like a foal. Also, no more flying freely through the skies, since she didn't know if the Canterlot folks would approve of that. No more acting stupid just to have fun. It would look like she's trying to get attention, and that's not something she would want them to think of her. Derpy sighed, as the nightmare of a serious life was about to start, and it wasn't going to end any sooner.

  "Everything okay?", asked a gentlecolt's voice. Derpy looked up to see a gentle-looking stallion (Fancypants) staring weird at her. There was a whitish-pink unicorn next to him (Fleur-de-Lis).

  "Yeah...", sighed Derpy. "... actually, no. I'm new here, you know, and I don't have any place to go. Could you help me find a home?"

  "Aww...", said Fleur-de-Lis. "... such a poor little homeless mare. We'll help you find a home, if you tell us your name."

  "I'm Ditzy Doo... but my old friends would call me Derpy Hooves, because of these crossed eyes."

  "Poor thing..."

  "Come with us.", said Fancypants. "We'll show you the modernest city of Canterlot."

Play Us a Song, You're the Cross-Eyed Mare

  Derpy, along with Fancypants and Fleur-de-Lis, toured around town for around two hours. Canterlot was a beautiful place, but it somehow lacked cheer. It didn't matter much, since she would live a serious life from now on.

  "And that's pretty much the whole city of Canterlot for you.", said Fancypants, as the tour came to an end. "Now, we're off to buy you a house. Any special requests?"

  "I'm hungry.", said Derpy, in an innocent tone.

  "That's not what I meant... but if you're feeling hungry, I know a really good restaurant we can go."

  The restaurant was modeled after an ancient culture, so it looked pretty fancy. Derpy gulped at the sight of such a serious and cultured cityfolk. Everypony was completely silent, and the only sounds that could be heard were those of table utensils and classical music.

  The trio sat on a table for three, close to the band performers. A couple seconds later, menus were handed for two of them. Fleur-de-Lis decided to let Derpy take it first.

  "So...", said Fleur-de-Lis. "... what are you hungry for, Derpy?"

  "There are lots of good options here.", said Fancypants. "Would you like some onion soup, or maybe some steak au poivre?"

  "Gesundheit.", said Derpy, managing to get a chuckle from the gentle stallion.

  "It's the name of the dish. Do you want that, or do you want something else?"

  "French fries."

  "... just that? Do you want anything along with it?"

  "Maybe some onion soup, and a chocolate chip muffin."

  "Okay..."

  "Maybe she's not used to our culture yet.", said Fleur-de-Lis.

  After a few minutes (their food hadn't arrived yet), Derpy felt a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't the restaurant, or her two new Canterlot friends. Something didn't feel right... at least to her.

  "Is something wrong?", asked Fleur-de-Lis. "You seem uncomfortable."

  "I don't know...", said Derpy. "... something here doesn't feel too good."

  "Maybe some music will make you feel better.", said Fancypants. "There's a jukebox over there, just pick the song you want."

  "Jukebox, eh?"

  Derpy went over to the jukebox thingy on the corner, and started digging through all the songs available. Most of them were classical tunes, but she eventually found a few good songs, even a few polkas. However, Derpy felt like making a good first impression, so she had quite a hard time deciding which song to pick... until she found the perfect song. She then played that song and went back to her table, with an innocent smile.

  "What kind of music do you like?", asked Fancypants.

  "Just wait.", said Derpy, keeping her smile.

Pee Wee Hunt - 12th Street Rag

  The song ended at the same time as the food had arrived. While the fancy couple started eating, Derpy looked at the other tables, who were looking back at her with a somehow-approving look. She waved at them, only to get waved back at. She then giggled quietly as she started to eat as well.

  Twilight, Pinkie and Rarity were walking down the road to Canterlot. They had started their journey two hours ago, and both unicorns were feeling tired from all that walking. Pinkie Pie was as determined as ever. It wasn't because of Derpy. She would stop at nothing to save any of her friends. The trio stopped at a park bench, similar to the one in the Derpy & Petherick scene.

  "Why didn't we just use a carriage?", asked Rarity. "It would be a much faster travel."

  "Well, we shouldn't let anypony know that we're doing this.", said Twilight.

  "Besides, we get to talk about more stuff!", said Pinkie Pie.

  "Yeah, let's talk about... what?"

  "Could you imagine how unfitting it would be to see Derpy in Canterlot?", said Rarity. "I mean, such a prejudiced pony wouldn't have a good impression at all."

  "Who knows?", said Pinkie. "Maybe she's better off there."

  Twilight sighed, remaining silent for very few minutes.

  "... you know...", said Twilight. "... every time I'm feeling down, or when it feels like I shouldn't even get out of bed, just seeing her fly around, without a care in the world, makes me feel better about the day. Makes me wish I could get under her skin for just one day."

  "Why would you want to get under one's skin?", asked Pinkie Pie, with a confused look. "That's just plain gross."

  "She didn't mean it literally.", said Rarity. "And I've got to agree with her. What also makes me happy is that I'm the one who gave her her first piece of clothing. The poor thing never gets invited to formal parties like Celestia's welcome party... and when she does, she gets kicked out of town."

  "Yeah.", said Twilight. "Why would Princess Celestia do something like that? As far as I know her..."

  "You see?", said Pinkie Pie. "Everypony loves Derpy somehow."

  "You do a little more."

  "Haha, anyway... I don't get why everypony keeps prejudicing her like they did at the party. We didn't win anything by kicking her out. She just wanted to have a good time. Did you see the way she played with that dustball? She didn't mean to wreck the whole place."

  "Twilight, what did you mean by 'do a little more'?", asked Rarity.

  "We'll explain everything on the way.", said Twilight. "I think we're ready to continue."

  "Let's find Derpy!", said Pinkie Pie, jumping out of the bench and skipping along the road, while the two unicorns followed behind.

  "Derpy, this is your new house.", said Fancypants, as Derpy opened the door to her brand new home. It was a tad bigger than her old house, and it looked far fancier as well.

  "Nice.", commented Derpy.

  "It belonged to our old neighbor, Smartypants.", said Fleur-de-Lis. "He moved out to Manehattan due to one of his usual wit battles with Fancypants, and he left this property of his at a fairly low price."

  "I'm glad he moved out.", said Fancypants, holding a grudge against his neighbor.

  "Well, thanks, guys.", said Derpy. "I think I'm gonna lay down for a while."

  "By the way, there's going to be a party at this French-cultured restaurant down the block. Can we invite you?"

  "... a formal event?"

  "If that's what you call it..."

  "... sure..."

  "Is anything wrong?", asked Fleur-de-Lis. "You seem a little worried."

  "Nothing... nothing. I suppose it would help me practice my socializing skills, or something."

  The couple let out a few chuckles and giggles, thinking it was some kind of joke.

  "Okay, we'll get you by 8:00.", said Fancypants, as both unicorns went out the door.

  "Oh, brother...", sighed Derpy, as she laid down on her bed and fell asleep.

Rivals

  Derpy woke up on her bed at 7:30 p.m. It was a really comfortable bed, so she just laid there, wide awake, for a good ten minutes. All the while, she kept thinking about how the party would turn out. What if she got distracted by a stupid dustball again and ended up destroying the whole city? She was already lucky enough to get help from the unicorn couple. Lucky? That was a freakin' miracle! That would never happen again, that's for sure. So dustballs were out of the question. She probably wouldn't find one anyway. She would have to talk to folks, about what? Maybe she'd talk about the weather. Or maybe quantum physics. Or the origin of the universe. What kind of thing do Canterlot folks usually talk about? Economy? Politics? Nuclear annihilation? French cuisine? It didn't matter, actually. She'd just go with the flow and see the results.

  Derpy turned her attention to herself. She hadn't showered in three days, and she was still wearing the same blue dress she got from Rarity. It was time to clean up.

  Derpy went out of the shower, feeling fresh as a... fresh mint? Anyway, she decided to use the blue dress again. It looked clean enough to be used for another three days.

  As Derpy combed her hair with her hoof in front of the bathroom mirror, there was a gentle knock on the door. She opened it to see Fancypants at the other side.

  "Oh, hello.", greeted Derpy.

  "Hi.", said Fancypants. "Looks like you're ready... looking good as well."

  "Heh, thanks... where's your woman?"

  Fancypants blushed slightly. Really slightly.

  "Ahem... she's not ready yet. Just five more minutes, she says."

  "I have been wondering... what do you Canterlot folks usually talk about? I need some advice on how to socialize in a brand new part of the world."

  "Haha... we talk about a lot of stuff. Just go with the flow and give your own ideas, and you'll end up with lots of friends."

  "Sounds easy."

  "It is easy."

  Suddenly, Fleur-de-Lis showed up behind him, and shook his shoulder to catch his attention.

  "Oh, looks like we're good to go.", said Fancypants. "You're looking lovely as usual, Fleur."

  "Thank you.", said Fleur-de-Lis, as Derpy giggled silently.

  Back in Ponyville, Spike ran around town, asking everypony for information, but not getting anything in return.

  "What's so important, Spike?", asked Rainbow Dash, swooping down to find out what was going on.

  "Twilight is gone!", said a desperate baby dragon named Spike.

  "What?!"

  "On the first day, I figured that she was at some sleepover or whatever. On the second day, I figured that she could've been killed by some crazy maniac, and I started biting my claws in worry. And now, I figure that she could have been kidnapped!"

  "Or maybe she was abducted by aliens!"

  "Yeah, she's got quite a lot of scientific stuff inside her head."

  "Funny thing is, I haven't seen Pinkie Pie in quite a while either. Or Rarity."

  "RARITY'S GONE TOO?! Oh, the humanity! THE HUMANITY!... or should I say equinity?"

  "We should search around. I'll get Fluttershy and Applejack to help."

  Rainbow Dash flew to the Sweet Apple Acres, as Spike continued to bite his claws in worry.

  "We're here!", cheered Twilight, as the trio had arrived in the wealthy city of Canterlot.

  "Now where's Derpy?", asked Pinkie Pie, as Twilight sighed at the reminder of the fact that they didn't know where Derpy was or could be.

  "We'll have to figure that out tomorrow.", said Rarity. "It's already night time. We should stay at a hotel."

  "Well, okay then.", said Twilight.

  Derpy and the unicorn couple sat on a table next to the entrance to the restaurant. Fancypants said hello to a couple friends of his, while Fleur-de-Lis greeted another couple of friends of hers. Derpy just kept herself quiet on her chair. It wasn't long until Fancypants decided to introduce her to his Canterlot friends.

  "Folks, I'd like you to meet Derpy Hooves.", said Fancypants, as he took Derpy to his side. "She moved out of Ponyville, after quite a disaster happened at Princess Celestia's welcoming party."

  "... it's true.", said Derpy, nodding awkwardly.

  "Would you mind telling us what happened there?"

  "Um... I guess."

  "Okay, don't talk about it if you don't want to."

  "Pleased to meet you, Derpy.", said one of Fancy's friends, shaking her hoof.

  "Same here.", said another friend.

  "She's quite a figure, eh?", said another one. Derpy giggled as she blushed.

  "Excuse her shyness.", said Fancypants. "She needs time to fit in. Care for a drink?"

  "Don't mind if I do.", said one of his friends.

  "I'd like one too.", said Derpy, as she took a glass of wine.

  "Well, well, well.", said an irritating voice from the crowd of rich ponies. Fancypants' expression suddenly changed to one of desperation and rivalry. "Lookie what we have here."

  "Smartypants...", said Fancypants, grinding his teeth.

  "It indeed is I, fair mortal.", said Smartypants, revealing himself to be a Fancypants lookalike, but with reddish colors and much wider eyebrows. "Miss me yet?"

  "I would never miss a pile of filth like you! Haven't you gone to Manehattan two weeks ago?"

  "I have decided to pay a fair visit to my friends at Canterlot. I didn't expect to see you around here."

  "That doesn't make sense.", said Derpy. "He's one of the most important ponies around Canterlot. You should expect to see him in a party like this."

  "Shut up!"

  "Don't tell her to shut up!", said Fancypants. "You shut up!"

  "No, you shut up!"

  "You!"

  "YOU!"

  "Gentlecolts.", said Fleur-de-Lis, putting them in different sides. "Let's not start another wit battle over here when we've got a new companion in town."

  "I'm sorry, honey...", said Fancypants.

  "Like you should be."

  "... but I can NOT let THIS idiot win this time!"

  "Here we go again..."

  "WHO'S an idiot?", said Smartypants. "You idiot!"

  "I know you are, but what am I?", said Fancypants.

  "Guys.", said Derpy.

  "I'm rubber, you're glue!", said Smartypants. "Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you!"

  "I think it is the other way around.", said Fancypants.

  "Guys...", said Derpy.

  "That's it!", said Smarty. "I challenge you to a duel!"

  "GUYS!"

  "WHAT IS IT?!", said both lifelong rivals.

  "Why the heck are you fighting for?!"

  The rivals remained silent for a few minutes, along with the rest of the crowd, whose attention was entirely turned to them. After five minutes, Smartypants cleared his throat.

  "... I can't quite remember.", said Smartypants.

  "Let me tell you the whole story.", said Fancypants.

  "There's a story behind this?", commented Fleur-de-Lis.

  "There was this time, at high school...", started Fancypants. "... it was Valentine's Day... and I was about to ask her out."

  "Who?", asked Fleur-de-Lis.

  "You."

  "Oh..."

  "Anyway... I was about to ask her out, after a three-month crush. But then, just as I was about to speak, this... this... this bastard showed up."

  "Watch your mouth!", said Smartypants.

  "And then he asked her out, in the most shameless way possible. And she said yes!"

  "I did?", said Fleur-de-Lis.

  "Yes. It was a long time ago, I don't think you remember that. Well, anyway, as I was saying... you wouldn't imagine how angry I was at that moment. And then I swore to myself that we would be mortal enemies as long as we lived."

  "Hold on!", said Smartypants. "I think I recall what happened there."

  "Ahem... okay. Tell the rest of the story."

  "Well..."

  "... we did go out, me and Fleur. The thing is, I did that for revenge."

  "Revenge for what?", asked Fancypants.

  "Don't you remember? I wanted revenge for what YOU did to me the year before! You stole Maroon Moon from me!"

  "Who was that?", asked Fleur-de-Lis, looking upset.

  "Maroon Moon. The most beautiful filly I had ever seen. She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and maroon-colored mane. I've had a crush on her since kindergarten. And then you showed up, and you had LUNCH with her! LUNCH! It wasn't dinner, or brunch, or breakfast. It was lunch! It was enough for me to want revenge on you for all my life!"

  "Wait a second...", said Fancypants. "... I know who you're talking about."

  "As you should!"

  "I thought I was the only one...", said Fleur-de-Lis.

  "And you are.", said Fancy.

  "I don't get it..."

  "I never dated Maroon Moon."

  "How DARE you say that!", said Smartypants.

  "She was needing help in her studies, so I offered to help, since you were too busy taking care of your own business. We had lunch together, but we never dated."

  Smartypants didn't have words for what he had just heard.

  "Now, from what I understand...", said Derpy. "... you guys have no reason to fight. Fleur's all yours now, Fancy. As for you, Smarty, your misjudging skills are what started everything."

  Smartypants remained silent.

  "I'd suggest you two to stop arguing about such an irrelevant anecdote. You're ruining the party for the rest of us."

  "She's right.", said Fancypants.

  "This won't get us nowhere.", said Smartypants.

  "So, shall we both give up?"

  "... yeah."

  Suddenly, the whole crowd of ponies cheered as the neighbors' lifelong rivalry reached an end.

  "Nopony in Canterlot has ever managed to stop those two!", said one of the ponies in the crowd.

  "Derpy, you just managed to make those two stop fighting.", said Fleur-de-Lis, in a happy tone. "Nopony has managed to put them apart so easily!"

  "I think we've got a genius among us, folks!", said one of Fancypants's friends.

  "Oh, it's nothing...", said Derpy, as she took a sip of her drink.

The Three Sides of the Coin (wait, what?)

  The party went on, now that Fancypants and Smartypants' rivalry had ended, thanks to Derpy's wise thoughts. Derpy was thrilled by all the friends she was making all the time. Unlike in Ponyville, nopony seemed to care about her easily-distracted mind and her childlike manners. You could say she was a genius in Canterlot... heh.

  "So, Derpy...", said one of Fancypants's friends, who was already drunk as hell. "... tell us about your life... or something."

  "Don't mind him.", said Fancypants to Derpy. "He always gets wasted at parties like these..."

  "Well...", said Derpy, already at her third glass of wine. "... there isn't much to say about me, actually. I didn't have many friends back in Ponyville, so I don't have many life stories."

  "Aw.", said the drunk guy. "Just... just tell us whatever comes up in your mind."

  "Okay, I think I remember a nice little story."

  "There was this time where I was walking to the kitchen to bake some muffins...", said Derpy. "... and then I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension. Next thing I knew, I was being abducted by some aliens from space who kinda looked like Ralph Fiennes."

  "Ralph Fiennes? Really?", asked another one of Fancy's friends.

  "It wasn't him, but it looked an awful lot like him. Anyway, I don't know what they did after that, but then they took some Polaroids, and they said I was a darn good sport. As a way of saying thank you, they allowed me to use their time machine to travel back to any point in history that I would want to go."

  "And what did you do then?", asked Fancypants, chuckling a little.

  "I traveled back to last Thursday night, so I could pay my phone bill on time. That's pretty much it."

  "... nice story.", said the drunk guy. "... say, are you single?"

  "Oh, sorry. I'm not that kind of mare, you know."

  The party had ended, after two more hours of talking and laughing at Derpy's jokes. Derpy was just a little drunk from all the wine she had been drinking, but it was only just enough to make her a little dizzier than usual. Fancypants and Fleur-de-Lis escorted her back home, since she still wasn't used to Canterlot's confused pathing. It was almost midnight, so they all felt really tired and just wanted to sleep.

  "So, Derpy...", said Fancypants, in a calmer tone than usual. "... did you enjoy the party?"

  "It's not like Pinkie's parties, that's for sure.", said Derpy, feeling a bit of three-day nostalgia. "But it was still kinda good."

  "Now that our friends aren't here...", said Fleur-de-Lis. "... could you tell us exactly why you moved to Canterlot? If that's okay with you, of course."

  "It's fine. It was basically like this..."

  Derpy told the whole story to the unicorn couple, not altering it the slightest, from Pinkie's invitation to Petherick's wise words..

  "... and then I followed Pete's advice and went to Canterlot.", said Derpy, as the trio had arrived at their neighborhood.

  "That is a really touching story...", said Fancypants, letting one tear out. "Isn't it, honey?"

  "Indeed.", said Fleur-de-Lis, letting a few more tears out. "Really... touching."

  "So, we're here. Good night, Derpy."

  "Nightie-night.", said Derpy.

  "Thanks for what you did at the party.", said Fleur-de-Lis. "That was really heroic of you."

  "It was nothing."

  "Heh, sure. Good night."

  "You too."

  In the next morning, Twilight woke up at the hotel that she and her other two friends were sleeping at (it was a 3-pony bed, with Rarity, Pinkie and her, in that order). It was 8:00, so she preferred to stay on her bed until the others woke up. As she wondered about Princess Celestia's unlikeable act, Pinkie Pie touched her shoulder from behind, to catch her attention.

  "What is it?", whispered Twilight, not surprised about Pinkie waking up so early.

  "Where do you think we should search first?", whispered Pinkie Pie, having already woken up two hours ago.

  "I don't know... we'll decide on that when Rarity wakes up."

  "Oh, okay then... hey, what did you dream about?"

  "Nothing too relevant... what about you?"

  "I've had this weird dream where I was going shopping, and then suddenly I was floating in mid-air."

  "That's it?"

  "No, wait. And then my teeth fell off, for some reason, and everybody kept staring at me. And then I saw donuts and hot-dogs flying everywhere!"

  "Um... that's kinda--"

  "Wait, I remember more! And then, in another dream I had, I was being followed by a bunch of spider-monkeys. When they caught up to me, they gave me some velcro and French fries. And then, suddenly, I was at the bowling alley, when I fell in a random hole and ended up stuck in a closet with Derpy by my side... and that's all I remember."

  "I think I have seen something like that in a Meaning Of Dreams book I've read before. It would basically mean that you might find the love of your life soon enough. Coincidence?"

  "Haha, might be."

  "Would you two be quiet?", said Rarity, having been forced to wake up due to their conversation.

  "Oh, Rarity, you're awake!", said Twilight. "I guess I can get up now."

  "I'm going back to sleep, you know."

  "I like to wait until everypony wakes up so I can get out of bed. It's just more comfortable this way."

  "What if one of the roommates sleeps all day?", asked Pinkie Pie. "You'd be pretty much trapped on your bed!"

  "If they don't wake up until noon, I just consider them as exceptions to the rule."

  "Alright, alright, I'll get up.", said Rarity, tired of that useless chatter.

  After breakfast, the trio went out of the hotel at 10:00. The day wasn't that sunny, but it was still warm, with a few clouds in the sky. A certain blue-coated pegasus could be seen flying through the sky, with an orange pony on top of it. By its side was another pegasus with a yellow coat and a pink mane, with a baby dragon on top.

  "So...", said Twilight. "... where do we start?"

  "Should we ask for information?", asked Pinkie Pie.

  "No need.", said Rarity. "I know somepony that can help us. Follow me."

  Rainbow Dash landed in the middle of a plaza in Canterlot, with Applejack on top of her. Applejack landed on the floor as soon as she could, much to Rainbow's relief. Fluttershy landed by their side, with Spike on her back. They were not that far from Twilight's team.

  "What have you been eating, AJ?", joked Rainbow Dash, as her back hurt a little from all the weight she's been carrying at once. "I'm lucky to have survived here."

  "Very funny, Rainbow.", said a sarcastic Applejack.

  "Okay.", said Spike. "According to my incredibly precise calculations, Twilight and the others are somewhere in this town."

  "How are we going to find them?", asked Fluttershy.

  "We'll have to ask around. Follow me, everypony."

  Rainbow Dash's team rushed to the west, on their quest to find Twilight and the others. Immediately after they left, Twilight's team arrived from the east at the same spot.

  "Funny...", said Pinkie Pie. "... I could've sworn I saw Rainbow Dash here, with our other friends."

  "Maybe you need something to drink.", said Rarity. "Why would they come to a town like this one?"

  "I suppose you're right..."

Gathering Up

  While both teams kept searching for their respective targets, Derpy was taking a casual walk with Fleur-de-Lis, to admire the beautiful architecture of the city of Canterlot. It was almost noon, so the sun was high up in the sky. There were still a few clouds in the sky, though. Not too many of them, but still a considerable amount.

  "This town is really pretty.", said Derpy, admiring every single piece of art she could look at.

  "I couldn't agree more.", said Fleur-de-Lis. "Ponyville looks nice too."

  "Yeah... maybe even nicer, now that I'm not there."

  Fleur-de-Lis thought about what Derpy had said for a few minutes as they walked. She never was a fan of that kind of thought.

  "Mind if we sit on that bench over there?", suggested Fleur. Derpy shook her head to both sides.

  "You tired or something?", asked Derpy, as both of them sat on a bench in the park.

  "I want to talk to you about something."

  "... go ahead. I'm all ears."

  "Did you have friends back in Ponyville?"

  "Very few, I guess. Pinkie Pie was my only true friend, though."

  "Do you miss her?"

  "Just a bit."

  "Is it a small bit or a significantly-sized bit?"

  "Why are you asking me this?"

  "Well... I realize you're feeling much happier here in Canterlot. I mean, you're surely getting much more popular since yesterday's party, and everypony around here is looking at you much more positively... but I'm starting to think that you're lacking a true friend by your side... like that Pinkie Pie you keep talking about."

  "Well, yeah... but I suppose I can live here just fine. Besides, I'm not that charismatic."

  "Hey, Derpy.", said a random colt walking by.

  "Hey."

  "Okay, Derpy.", said Fleur-de-Lis. "I see your point. But I know that, deep inside, you do miss your friend a bit. A significantly-sized bit."

  "... but I don't know if they even want me there anymore."

  "Are you joking? A few months ago, Fancypants almost set fire to a whole building because of one of his fights with Smartypants. That's why Smarty moved out, actually."

  "Yeah, but I actually managed to destroy the building I was in."

  "That is not my point. You see, everypony makes mistakes once in a while. Whether they are significant or not, it makes no sense to not accept them and just move on. What Princess Celestia did to you was actually a really harsh punishment. You did not intend to destroy that building, therefore you do not deserve to be treated like such a threat to ponykind. If Celestia hasn't changed since I last saw her, you should talk to her about it. I'm sure she'll understand you and let you go back to your hometown."

  "But... wouldn't the Ponyville folks still be mad at me?"

  "Excuse my wording right now, but if they can't accept you for who you are, just buck them. Alright? As long as you have somepony by your side that knows how you see stuff and what you do and don't like, you can be happy with them, while the others keep thinking false stuff about you. It's better to be thought a fool than to be a fool, after all. And I think you're a really wise pony, by the way you ended that horrible arguing."

  "You're right... but won't you guys miss me if I go back?"

  "Kind of. But as long as we know you're happy, it'll be easy to deal with. Besides, you can visit us anytime you want. You're always welcome here."

  "You're right. I'll go back, and I'm gonna meet my friends, and go back to my old life!"

  "That's the spirit. We should tell Fancypants first. Let's go."

  Rarity rang the bell to Fancypants's house, after the trio had arrived. Fancypants got the door ten seconds later.

  "Oh, hello there, Rarity.", said Fancypants. "What brings you girls here?"

  "We are looking for somepony.", said Twilight.

  "And who might that be?"

  "She's a blonde, gray-coated pegasus wearing a blue dress."

  "You mean Derpy Hooves?"

  "Exactly!", said Pinkie Pie. "Have you seen her?"

  "Why, of course! She's a real charmer. Are you friends with her?"

  "Yeah!"

  "Kinda.", said Twilight.

  "Hi, girls!", said Derpy, having just arrived at Fancy's house, along with Fleur-de-Lis.

  "Derpy!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie, hugging her friend as strongly as she could.

  "Derpy, we missed you!", said Twilight.

  "I can't believe you're wearing the same dress I gave you.", said Rarity, feeling a bit honored.

  "Oh, speaking of which...", said Fleur-de-Lis, going inside the house and then coming back with another dress.

  "So pretty!", said Derpy, seeing how beautiful the dress was.

  "It was mine when I was your age. Consider this a present from your Canterlot friends."

  Fleur-de-Lis used her magic to put the dress on Derpy's back. It was bright white, with a few shades of gray here and there.

  "Thanks!", said Derpy.

  "You're welcome.", said Fleur-de-Lis.

  "Derpy, I've been wanting to tell you...", said Pinkie Pie, hesitating for a little.

  "No need.", said Derpy. "I'm already going back to Ponyville."

  "You are?!", said Twilight and Rarity in unison.

  "Yay!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie, putting her slight frustration behind.

  "What's happening here?", asked Fancypants.

  "Derpy is going back to Ponyville.", said Fleur-de-Lis.

  "Aww, really? She barely managed to fit in, and she's going back?"

  "It's for my own good.", said Derpy.

  "... we'll miss you."

  "There they are!", said a really familiar voice.

  "Spike?", said Twilight, turning out to see Spike, along with Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Applejack, running towards them.

  "Thank goodness you're all alright!", said Spike, in a worrying/relieved tone. "I was worried about you!"

  "We're all fine,", said Pinkie Pie. "We were getting Derpy back to Ponyville."

  "But... I thought she wasn't allowed to go back.", said Rainbow Dash.

  "We'll talk to the Princess about it.", said Twilight. "She doesn't deserve to be kicked out of town like that."

  "Whatever you say...", said Spike, worried about the current situation.

  Derpy said goodbye to her good neighbors, as she, along with her friends, travelled back to Ponyville. Fancypants and Fleur-de-Lis watched as they walked through the Canterlot gates.

  Twilight didn't exactly know how to deal with Celestia's authority. She wasn't a rebellious pony at all, so going against the Princess's orders was already a big deal for her. Her friends seemed happy, though. Who knew what could happen, right? It didn't matter at the moment. And besides, she was on the right side, wasn't she? If somepony was wrong at that situation, that pony was Princess Celestia herself.

  Meanwhile, Derpy and Pinkie Pie were having a nice conversation about how awesome it would be if they had superpowers.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is not the ending, but if you feel like this story is getting a little rushed, feel free to talk about it in the comments section. I'll understand perfectly, for I have my own personal reasons for this to be happening now.

With that being said, stay tuned for the ending of this strange but fun story.

I Fought the Law... and I Won

  Having arrived in Ponyville, Derpy skipped along the remaining bit of road, leading the way among her other friends. Some ponies got quite surprised at Derpy's coming, and some others just didn't care. Twilight started to shrink in size, her fear of Celestia's authority increasing more and more. Pinkie Pie decided to skip along, while the others just kept walking/flying. Rarity was carrying Derpy's new white dress on her back, while analyzing it carefully.

  "Thank you guys so much!", said Derpy. "I kind of missed you too."

  "Hey, you're welcome!", said Pinkie Pie, skipping along her side. "It was Twilight's idea."

  "Thanks, Twilight!"

  "Huh?", said Twilight. "Oh, you're welcome... I did this because we missed you."

  "Hey, Derpy's back!", said Carrot Top, who was passing by. "Glad to have you back."

  "Oh hey, Carrot!", said Derpy. "I thought you wanted me to go away."

  "Nah, it's just an act of frustration. You're a nice pony... but won't Princess Celestia be mad at you?"

  "I'll handle this.", said Twilight. "Don't worry."

  "Okay then. See ya!"

  "See ya!", said Derpy. "Now, Twilight, what if you get expelled?"

  "This will not happen, alright? Now, let's go to the Town Hall."

  "No need.", said a really familiar voice.

  "Princess Celestia!", all ponies said in unison.

  "I see that you have disobeyed my order.", said Princess Celestia, as she came down from the sky.

  "... I'm sorry.", said Twilight.

  "Now, listen. I thought I had clearly said that Ditzy Doo was not allowed to live in this town anymore. And then, you (along with Rarity and Pinkie Pie) decided to go to Canterlot and bring her back, without seeking any permission."

  "I have nothing to do with this.", said Spike.

  "Alright, that's enough.", said Derpy.

  "Derpy?", said Twilight. "What are you doing?"

  "Princess Celestia, I would like to apologize for such a terrible accident back at your welcoming party."

  "I see we're going somewhere.", said Princess Celestia.

  "I did never intend to destroy that building. I was just having a good time, like everypony's supposed to at a party, in the first place."

  "I accept your apology."

  "So she can stay?", asked Pinkie Pie.

  "Before I answer that, I would like to ask: Twilight, this was your idea, right?"

  "... yes...", said Twilight, hanging her head down.

  "For what exact reason have you decided to do this?"

  "Well... when Derpy used to live here, she and Pinkie Pie were the bestest of friends. They did lots of things together. So, when Derpy had to move out, Pinkie was really sad, and so I decided to make her happy again by bringing Derpy back. I didn't seek for permission because you almost certainly wouldn't let us do this. Rarity joined in because she wanted to."

  "I see... so Ditzy Doo really makes a difference in your lives, after all."

  "... yes. Yes, she does."

  "It's just what I was wanting to hear. So, you do realize that it has no use to judge her for whatever bad points she has, don't you? Because by that conversation we had, she does get a lot of prejudice from other ponies, isn't that right?"

  "Yes.", said Derpy.

  "I hope you all have learned a valuable lesson here. My work here is done."

  "What do you mean?", asked Twilight.

  "Prejudice is never a good thing, and what better way to demonstrate that than by an overly-realistic situation? I wanted to introduce you to the unfortunately real world, and it looks like I did a really good job."

  The ponies remained silent for a while, figuring out what the Princess had just said.

  "... in other words, she can stay."

  Everypony in sight cheered loudly, while Pinkie Pie hugged her cross-eyed friend. It was a really happy moment for all of them.

  After everypony else had resumed their daily activities, Pinkie Pie and Derpy herself were the only ones left on that spot, and they were still hugging. The day also felt brighter than usual.

  "Derpy, there's something I want to tell you...", said Pinkie Pie, finally breaking the hug.

  "What is it?", asked Derpy.

  "You know... we've been friends for a long time now, and I'm wondering if we could--"

  "Eat together? Great idea! I didn't have lunch today, so I'm pretty hungry."

  "... you know what? I feel hungry too. I'll tell you later."

  "Tell me what later?"

  "You'll see."

  And so, all was well again, thanks to Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Princess Celestia herself, the Canterlot folks, the one and only Ditzy Doo... but most of all... the wise and incredibly-smart Petherick.

  "Hey, that's me they're talkin' about!"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you didn't mind the slightly-rushed ending. After all, this has been a great story, and somehow my highest-rated one so far. I hope you liked it as much as I did, and I'm sorry to say that a few ideas didn't make it to the actual story... but it's, hopefully, still an inspirational little fic, and I hope you guys aren't disappointed... and I REALLY hope you don't want to cut my arms and legs with a chainsaw.

Have a nice day... and I wish you luck.

~Love, AspergerGoodness