Sips co. In Equestria

Chapters

How it all happened
A rude awakening
Where we come from
Announcement
We can communicate!

How it all happened

“Are you sure that this thing works Sjin?”

Sjin looked up at his best friend Sips standing in front of the platform that was, hopefully, a full working teleporter.

“Now, you’re sure that this thing works, right?” Asked Sips.

“I’m a smart man Sips, I did all my calculations and it should send you, safe and sound too Honeydew Inc.” Said Sjin.

“But what if it doesn’t work Sjin? God knows, I barely trust you get me a bowl of cereal! Let alone disassemble and reassemble my genetic code in a different location.”

Sjin rolled his eyes. “Just stand on the platform Sips.”

Sips warily got up on the blue cube that was next to a satellite. According to Sjin, the satellite would send a frequency to your body, allowing it to jump to wherever the machine was programed to send you.

“Okay…I’m standing on it.” Sips was nervous. Notch knows if this thing worked! He didn’t want to get fused with one of Duncan’s weird experiment purpose mobs.

“Okay, I’m going to flip the switch and then jump onto my teleporter. There’s a slight delay, so it’ll make it easier for me to hop on.”

“Ready, Set,” Sips cringed, expecting the worse.

Sjin flipped the switch, and jumped onto his teleporter. A deep pitch horn was going off, and Sjin looked at his teleporter expectantly.

After a second horn went off the machines started to smoke and crackle. Sjin’s expectant face wore off to reveal one of worry, and before the smoke could block his view, Sips saw it clearly.

“Hey, um, Sjin? Should the machine be doing this?”

Before Sjin could respond, a bright, multicolored light appeared and an explosion went off. Sips and Sjin were thrown off of the teleportation platform and into a wall.

Before Sips loss consciousness he could hear multiple voices calling out in worry, but he couldn’t make out who was saying it and what they were saying. A final sentence rang through his head before he succumbed to darkness.

“What the hay are those things?”

“Are you sure about this Twilight? Because the last time you tried doing a spell this big, it ended in my scales being singed for nearly 2 weeks.”

Spike looked at Twilight in worry. Her best friends, known best as the elements of harmony, were also in a state of worry about her friend.

Twilight looked up from the spell book she was reading and gave Spike a reassuring look.

“I promise you Spike, and girls, that this spell will work. I’ve done my calculations and I’ve worked out every possible outcome, and there’s no way that this could hurt me, or anyone else.”

“But Twilight, what if it doesn’t work?” Spike asked worriedly. “What if something messes up during the spell and you get fused with something in the Everfree! Or…or what if-” A hoof in Spikes mouth stopped him from saying anything else.

“Ah agree with Spike.” Stated Apple Jack, quickly drawing her hoof out of Spikes mouth. “Ah don’t like you putting yourself in ta' harm's way. If the risk is too high ah personally want ya ta pull out sugarcube.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Applejack, I know what I’m doing.” And with that her horn began to glow.

Rarity leaned in close to Spike. “Um, Spike dear, should we move back and give Twilight some room?”

Spike merely nodded his head and everyone either rushed to the stairway leading to the basement or the stairway leading to the second floor.

Twilight focused on the magic fluctuating through her horn, quickly remembering the spell she had looked over.

The spell itself was a modified long range teleportation spell. Every time she tried to do it with someone else, they were severely singed and dazed with a large amount of nausea. She wanted to try this spell and see if it would work without that many bugs.

Besides her was an old toy that she had. Since Twilight didn’t want her friends getting hurt, she decided to use a toy that she didn’t have any more use for. Though Pinkie argued heavily against that option, Twilight really couldn’t see any other way around it.

She focused on a familiar place that wouldn’t cause that much havoc, Zecora’s hut. Her friends knew the way there and it was isolated. Twilight could also stay there for protection from any of the creatures that lived in the Everfree.

As the magic began to become more intense she began to hear something…A horn of some sort. She ignored it and continued to focus on the spell.

When the spell was nearly complete she heard a voice clearly through the spell.

“Um, hey, Sjin? Should the machine be doing this?”

Then the spell went awry.

A bright, multicolored light appeared from Twilight’s horn as she was launched through the air and hit one of the few walls in the library without a bookshelf adorning it.

When Spike saw Twilight getting thrown across the room he rushed out from his cover and to her, checking to see if she was hurt or bleeding anywhere.

Spike was dimly aware of all the other girls around him, also checking on Twilight or helping her onto her hooves. Luckily she hadn’t been knocked out when she hit the wall.

Spike turned around to see what that multicolored light was. When Twilight had first showed him the spell in one of the older books, it hadn’t mentioned anything about a multicolored light.

But when Spike looked over his shoulder he didn’t expect what he saw.

There were two beings lying on the floor, each wearing…something on their bodies. They looked like a slightly less buff Minotaur, minus the horns and the muzzle. They were also a different color, one was a sort of peach, and the other was the color of ash. They had a short mane on their heads; the peach one had a beard, but neither of them had a tail.

While Spike was ogling over the new beings, Rainbow Dash had also noticed the new creatures. She only had a few words to mutter.

“What the hay are those things?”

Author's Note

This is my first story and I would like to hear what you think of it and how I can improve my technic.
See you later!
-FlamingTorpedo

A rude awakening

Sjin woke up with a pounding headache. As he grasped his head, trying to stop the headache, he took in his surroundings.

Why am I underground?

The entire area was basically a dirt dome. Scattered around the room were various gadgets that Sjin had never really seen or heard of. At the far left of the room there were a series of stairs that lead up to another door to, what Sjin assumed, the surface.

As Sjin was getting up, a groan sounded behind him. He turned and smiled when he saw Sips, thankfully unharmed during the teleportation.

Sjin walked towards Sips and shook him gently, trying to wake him up. As his eyes slowly opened, he muttered something incomprehensible.

“What did you say?” Asked Sjin.

“I said did we end up in Honeydew Inc.?” Sips repeated.

“Um…” Sjin looked around nervously. “No, and unless we’re in the quarries, I have no idea where we ended up.”

After hearing this, Sips bolted upright, ignoring the blood rush to his head. After looking around for a little bit he did a face palm.

“Aw Sjin, what did you do?”

Sjin looked appalled. “Me? I didn’t do anything! And if I did I didn’t mean to!”

“So then where the hell did we end up?” Asked Sips.

“Well we, um…” Sjin thought and then sighed in defeat. “I don’t know.”

Sips rolled his eyes and got to his feet. He felt a little dizzy from being knocked out for Notch knows how long, but he could still maintain his balance.

“Those stairs seem to be the only way out of here.” Commented Sjin.

“Well then, what the hell are we waiting for?” Sips asked, making his way towards the stairs. “Unless you want to be a mole rat, start climbing!” Sips shouted over his shoulder.

Sjin took another glance around at the machinery in the room. A little bit of him wanted to stay and examine the machines, see what they could do. But a pang of homesickness overcame him. He wanted to know where he was more than finding out more about the machines that occupied the small earthen dome, and he began to follow Sjin.

When Sips was about half way up the second flight of stairs, he began to hear voices. He stopped, trying to figure out who it was.

It sounds feminine…Maybe we got teleported to Lomadia’s island. After all, we wouldn’t know if she had a weird basement.

Sjin, noticing that Sips had stopped, asked: “Hey, Sips? Why’d you stop?”

“Shush.”

“But I only wanted to know why you-“

“Shut up! I hear something!” whispered Sips.

Sjin listened closely, stopping so that he could hear the voices more clearly.

“-kie Pie, darling, I doubt that they’re going to want a party.”

“Yeah! These things are basic aliens! I doubt throwing them a party will stop them from destroying the town!”

A hyperactive voice squeaked out in protest. “But Dashie, they didn’t mean to be brought here! It was something that happened during the spell! Why don’t we throw them a ‘we’re-Sorry-That-We-Brought-You-Here’ Party?”

“Pinkie, we don’t even know if those things speak Equestrian. How are we even supposed to throw them a party if they can’t understand us?”

“Ah agree with Twilight. Ah say that we should find out who an’ what those things are an’ try to send them home, before the whole town panics.”

Sips took a glance back at Sjin. When they made eye contact, Sips began to mouth something that looked like ‘What do they mean by things?’

Sjin just shook his head, just as confused as Sips. He pushed past Sips, trying to get to the top. He was confused and tired; he wanted to know where he was and how to get home, to take care of Hugo and Igo.

Sjin had finally reached the top with Sips not far behind. Sjin warily grabbed the handle to the door and opened it a crack. But what he saw made him lose his balance and the door swung open, revealing the room to Sips.

The room itself was a library, filled with shelves upon shelves of books. In the center was a table with a supply of quills and paper for writing, and on the far side of the room was a study table for late night studies.

But what was more surprising, were the things in the room.

There were about six colorful ponies and one lizard like thing (maybe a dinosaur like Teep?) in the room, all of them having an expression of shock and fear on their face.

They stood there for what felt like hours till Sjin let out a nervous chuckle.

“Um, hi?”

Author's Note

I can not express how sorry I am for the late chapter. The night I posted the chapter, I was informed that we have to do an English project for school, and homework has been hammering me. This week wasn't that heavy, so I finished this chapter and I'm doing the next one (hopefully if school doesn't affect me) over the course of the week and, maybe if I'm lucky, it will be posted before Martin Luther King Day.

Again I'm so sorry,

-FlamingTorpedo

Where we come from

If anything, when you make a friend and you want to know more about them, you ask a lot of questions. The more you get to know the person and when you grow up, you ask a lot more different questions then when you were five.

Same goes with interrogations with suspects in a crime. You want to know what happened and what they saw. Sometimes it can get intense, and sometimes you can get the answer you always wanted and then all the questions could stop, or continue later on.

The thing being, when you interrogate an alien, it’s kind of like a mix of these two. And that’s what Sips and Sjin felt like for a good 45 minutes. They asked them their names, are they carnivores, their species, and for some reason, the pink one asked for their birthdays. Whilst they didn’t give any specific details, their answers seemed to quench the pony’s curiosity.

The questions went on for a long time, and were mainly asked by Twilight. But on occasion a question would be thrown in by one of the others (the most interesting one so far was by Spike, who asked if they eat gems as well as meat and vegetables).

Eventually when they felt like they were on even terms, well, as even they could get, the rest of them told them their names. The pink one was Pinkie Pie and the orange one was Applejack who are both Earth ponies. The white one was Rarity who, along with Twilight, was a unicorn, Sjin felt a little bit better they told him that they were the only ones who could conjure up magic on will. The yellow one was Fluttershy and the blue one (who took a lot of convincing to tell them their name) was Rainbow Dash and are the only ones who could fly without the aid of magic. The little purple lizard like thing that stayed near Twilight was Spike and he was actually a living dragon that could breathe fire.

As the stream of question began to die down, Rainbow Dash began to fidget uncomfortably. She had been dying to ask a question, a very important question but with the constant stream of questions she couldn’t really ask it, and now she felt a little bit embarrassed to ask it. She felt like it wasn’t important, but it was needed to be answered.

“Thanks for telling us about you, Sips and Sjin.” Said Twilight, a sweat drop easily spotted on her forehead. She had been holding them up for so long; she needed to drop them soon.

“Okay, I’m going to let you out now, just to let you know, so be prepared to catch yourself.”

Sips and Sjin nodded, as they prepped themselves for the drop.

“WAIT!” Rainbow shot in front of Twilight and hovered in front of her. “Twilight, could you keep the spell up for a little longer? I just want to ask them one more thing!”

Twilight gave her a puzzled glance before nodding and closing her eyes in concentration.

Rainbow turned around and gave them a glare. “You two said that you can’t really use any magic right?” They nodded in response. “Then how did you teleport here? You said you can’t use magic, and the only person that is an expert in magic isn’t friendly to you, so how?”

Twilight opened her eyes and looked up at the Minecraftians. What Rainbow said was true, they said that they were not directly linked to magic and that they’d need something to use it, which they didn’t have the materials to make. How they would teleport without it didn’t make sense to the unicorn.

Sips raised an eyebrow. “We built a teleporter. You’d have to ask Sjin for the fine details, since he made it.” At that he looked at Sjin, silently urging him to continue.

Sjin chuckled nervously. “The teleporter was designed to get us to a place called Honeydew Inc.; it’s where we work alongside our own factory. Somehow, your magic must have interfered with the circuitry and teleported us here instead of where we wanted to go.”

Twilight looked up at them. “You have technology that’s that advanced?”

“Course we do, don’t you?” Sips asked, and Twilight shook her head in response.

“As far as I know, the most advanced technology I’ve seen was powered by magic, and from what you’ve said, you don’t use magic.”

Sjin nodded, he felt bad about not telling them about the flying ring, but he felt like if he told them about it, they’d confiscate it like his armor and sword. Apparently Sips felt the same way, seeing as he didn’t argue against it when he told the lie.

Twilight looked at Rainbow. “Now may I let them out Rainbow?”

Rainbow gave them a disbelieving stare. She still didn’t trust them, whilst their story added up she felt like they weren’t entrusting them with everything. She would like to interrogate them more, to know what they were hiding. But she could see the pain on Twilight’s face from holding them up for nearly an hour now, and she didn’t want her friend to go into magic exhaustion; which is where a unicorn over goes their limit and they go into a coma like to restore their energy.

Rainbow let out a sigh. “Yeah. Sorry if I put you on overwork Twilight.”

Twilight instantly released the spell, dropping the dirt traders onto the floor of the library with less than desired grace.

“Twilight!” Spike shouted, running over to his sister.

Twilight gave a weak smile. “Heheh, don’t worry Spike, I’m fine.” She looked back at the Minecraftians and then looked outside to see that it was nearly nightfall.

Sips looked in the same direction as Twilight was looking and saw the sky darken. If is face could have gotten any paler, it would have right then and there.

Sips chuckled sheepishly. “I know that this might sound odd, but could we stay here for the night?”

Twilight nodded. “Sure, in truth, I was going to ask you if you wanted to stay here. The guest bed I have isn’t big enough for you, and either way it wouldn’t be very comfortable…Do you mind sleeping on the floor?”

Sjin chuckled. “Trust us; we’ve slept in worst places before.”

The rest of the house guests went to their houses for the night, and Sips and Sjin went down to the basement, finding it a little more comfortable then amongst the uncomfortable bookshelves. Twilight stood in her library with Spike and Owlowiscious sorting out the last few things in the library. Before Spike was about to quit it for the night. Twilight turned to him and told him one simple thing.

“Spike, take a letter.”

<-->

Honeydew was famous for being stubborn. Unless you got to know him, he could be a real pain to some people.

But if you were Xephos or Lalna, you’d know that the Dwarf could be a kind-hearted fellow who cares about his friends, and if they didn’t show up or just avoided him and he wouldn’t know why, that would be the one thing on his mind.

So, naturally, when Sips and Sjin didn’t show up at the Jaffa Factory the next day, that’s exactly what happened.

“Come on Honeydew, I’m sure they’ll show up soon.” Assured Xephos, Honeydew’s best friend.

“But they’ve never been this late before Xeph! I can’t stop thinking about it… What if their entire HQ is overrun with zombies or something?”

Xephos let out an irritated sigh; this happened when Sjin had him manipulated by that stupid head he built underneath the shed. He made him obsessed with Pig Island, even going to the lengths of selling it to Sips co. and abandoning the Jaffa Factory.

“Look, Honeydew mate, if you’re that worried about them, why don’t we go and check up on their compound. I’m sure that you’re just worrying about nothing.” Suggested Lalna, the mad scientist of the bunch.

Honeydew nodded his head, and the group hastily put on their armor and flying rings, making a quick trip to the compound.

Of course, they weren’t expecting the roof of a building to be blown off completely with smoke still rising from it.

The moment Honeydew saw this, he turned back to Lalna and said: “Nothing to worry about, eh?” and quickly flew down to check the damage of the flames with the other two following not far behind.

After putting out most of the flames successfully and searching through most of the area and not finding a sign of Sips or Sjin, they turned to Lalna, hoping that he would have a theory.

“From the looks of the machines in the building where the fires were, they were trying to make a teleporter. It probably just sent them to a different area then where they wanted to go.” Said Lalna after a while.

“Can you figure out where they went?” Asked Xephos.

Lalna let out a sigh before continuing. “Yeah, but it’ll take a lot of resources to fix the machines, and even more time to figure out where the Nether they went.”

Honeydew nodded his head. “All right then, let’s get to work then!” At this, his employees gave him a confused glance.

“What?” Asked Honeydew.

“You really want to take a long time to find them instead of working on the factory?” asked Xephos.

Honeydew rolled his eyes. “I’m not completely self-centered Xeph.” And with that, the mission to find Sips and Sjin began.

Author's Note

God, I worked very hard on this chapter! I couldn't really figure out how to begin it, and I wanted to have Rainbow be the least trusting of the main six to Sips Co.

Tell me about any grammar errors, right now I'm to tired to care.

-FlamingTorpedo

Announcement

For everyone who has been wondering where the next chapter of Sips co. In Equestria is, I'm so sorry I haven't updated. I want to explain why I haven't updated in so long.

Reason #1: When I was working on the first few chapters of this story, it was a good long time after Hurricane Sandy and I live on Long Island and the area where I live was hit very hard with the storm. My mother also went into surgery to get a new hip during the aftermath and she had to wait until our house got power back to leave and she didn't do a lot of physical therapy while she was there. So, instead of working on the story, I was helping people in my community and family recover, especially my mom who needed all the help to recover.

Reason #2: I was more focused on my grades in school. I was going to a new school and didn't have many friends, so I wanted to focus on that more. But now you're probably why I haven't been uploading since school's been out since the beginning of June (for me). Well, that moves onto reason number three.

Reason #3: I have little to no motivation to continue this story. I have changed my writing style form the first few chapters and I couldn't really figure out how to continue the story. Plus, after I realized this, I also realized that I didn't really have a lot of experience with writing with Sips, Sjin, and all of the other ponies (and AJ with her accent). Sips co. in Equestria was just a 'What if?' idea that evolved into a story that couldn't really sustain itself. This story and its continuing chapters have no real plot.

Which is what I intend to do.

I thought this story would just be another one amongst the community that would get no attention, I check back in an hour and I have sixteen notifications that are all related to this story. I was so shocked I just starred at my screen with just an open mouth. I knew that this story should be continued and that it couldn't be ignored. Heck, Bowtastic complemented my work and he was my inspiration to start writing these kind of stories, but after I saw that I couldn't really continue this, I decided to start writing this announcement chapter.

No, I will not hold this story up for adoption. I wish to continue this story in my own time with my own skills so that way my future stories can be better. But, in order for me to continue this story, I need two things.

The first thing would be that I update the story on my own time. I know that will annoy people, but I do have a life outside of the internet and my computer (a better life than I had in my previous schools that I wish to maintain). So please, don't worry if it takes a long time for updates to come out, I don't intend on giving up this story at all.

The second thing would be that no one pressures me to update or stop the story. That will kill my motivation and make updates longer than they should be.

I'm sorry about this, and I hope that I can update this story very soon. I also apologize for anyone that was hoping for a new chapter that was related to the story, but I kind of needed to get this off of my chest so that way I didn't feel guilty for not updating for about half a year.

I'm sorry for this inconvenience.

-FlamingTorpedo

We can communicate!

The ponies and the dirt traders looked at each other, unsure of what to do. To both of the groups they were staring at aliens. For the ponies they were staring at a different breed of Minotaur, and for Sips and Sjin they were staring at something completely new and unheard of, well, except in myths in Tekkitopia.

The first one to react to the spacemen’s abrupt arrival was a purple unicorn with a dark violet mane with a lighter streak of purple and a streak of pink in it. The horn on top of her head began to glow a shade of violet, and when Sips instinctively reached for his sword, he found he couldn’t move.

“Don’t try anything, we aren’t afraid to use the elements against you.” The purple unicorn said, sending them a harsh glare.

Sjin’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates the weird, four legged purple thing was talking to them. As far as Sjin knew, the only non-sentient beings that could talk without the use of magic or technology were the occasional zombie or creeper. And even then, they couldn’t speak very clearly, or with that much intelligence as to make their words make sense.

“Twilight, darling, you just got over the fact that they might not speak Equestrian. Why in the Celestia’s name are you threatening them?” Asked a white unicorn with a dark purple mane. She was standing on the side looking at her companion with concern

“Y-yeah Twilight, you’re just making them more scared.” Said a timid yellow pony with wings, she was cowering on the floor behind an orange pony, this one not having any wings or a horn.

The purple one looked back at her friends and let out a frustrated sigh. “If you couldn’t speak Equestrian and you saw a flash flood, would you stand there and let it sweep you away?” She looked back at the spacemen and continued to give them a glare. “Now, can you actually understand me?”

Sjin gave her a terrified look. The only other time he had dealt with anyone else with equal power in a dual was when he and Duncan destroyed the Old World, and then the only one that isn’t on friendly terms with him currently in the New World is Rythian, and he doubted that he had enough power to take him on.

Sjin and Sips were completely stripped of their possessions. They didn’t have their weapons with them, and they weren’t wearing their suits of Nano Armor, so if the ponies wanted to hurt them, they could hurt them. And frankly, Sjin did not like being defenseless in a place he didn’t know about.

Of course, Sips hadn’t been in the Old World. He hadn’t known what it was like to be confronted in an extremely large battle, and he wanted to know who had the right to insult the CEO of the biggest dirt trading company, so he wasn’t as scared and decided to respond.

“How are you holding us?” Sips asked, giving the purple unicorn a harsh glare.

The unicorn looked shocked for a moment; after all, it wasn’t every day you talk to an extraterrestrial being from…wherever they came from. But just as quick as the expression of shock came, the glare returned and with it came a harsh tone.

“It’s a holding spell. And just for your information, it’s a very complex spell; I doubt you could be able to break out of it.” Stated the unicorn, a smile forming on her lips. She wanted to ask these things questions without the risk of them running out the door and terrorizing the whole town into panic.

Sjin let out a sigh. Magic, of course she’s using magic to hold us. He quickly glanced down at his hand, silently thanking Notch that he still had his flying ring. He closed his eyes, checking his inventory, and smiled when he saw that he had a decent amount of glowstone to allow him to fly for a good amount of time. If he needed to get out of the thing’s magical grip on him, he could try to resist it by powering his flying ring.

Before the unicorn could ask another question, Sips beat her to the punch.

“Could you tell us where we are, miss…?”

The unicorn still held her position, but a glimmer of amusement appeared in her eyes.

“I’m Twilight, Twilight Sparkle. And you’re in the Golden Oaks library in Ponyville, a small town not that far from Canterlot, the capital of Equestria.”

Sips and Sjin glanced at each other. Wherever the teleporter brought them to, it certainly wasn’t anywhere near Tekkitopia, or Minecraftia for that matter.

Before any of them could react, a certain pink pony began to bounce up and down in front of Sips and Sjin.

“Oh oh oh! Can you tell us your names? What about your birthday, how about your friends? Do you have any friends? Can I throw them a party? How about-“ The pink pony’s barrage of questions were cut short when a zipper appeared out of nowhere and zipped close the pink pony’s lips, successfully silencing her.

Twilight gave the pink pony a harsh look and gently pushed her aside.

“Pinkie, please, I just want to ask them one more thing.” Twilight said. She quickly looked back at Sips and Sjin.

“Now, I assume you’re wondering how you got here, considering that I looked into every book here and I can’t find a single thing on your species.” Before either of the dirt traders could respond, Twilight continued.

“I’m going to tell you two the truth. I don’t really know how you got here, and on that note, I don’t know how to get you back to…wherever it is you two came from. But could you please just give me the basics of who you are? We’ve never seen anything like your species before, or at least nothing has been recorded or put into a book about your kind.”

Sjin gave a little bemused look at the pony. The mare’s personality reminded him of Lalna, the proclaimed ‘mad scientist’ of his friends and also the one who he had fought with in the Old World. He was always striving to learn more about the world, even going to the lengths of trying to capture an Enderman in his testing level of the Jaffa factory, which in truth was probably impossible because they could teleport at will.

Sips and Sjin looked at each other and nodded, they looked back to Twilight.

“What do you want to know?”

Author's Note

Okay, for me this chapter was posted on January 21st, 2013 at 11:42 PM, so I did get it out before the day ended.
Now to address some things!
1) For anyone wondering about where I got the idea of 'closing your eyes will allow you to see your inventory', I got it from another minecraft meets Equestria story called New World by Gyro Steambass. Its actually a good story.
2) The reason why Sips and Sjin are so open to answering the ponies questions are that they are A) Defenseless, B) Weaponless, and C) stranded in a place where they know jack shit about. So they kind of need the ponies help on this one.
3) I'm planning on bringing members of the yogscast in for later chapters and I want to see who you people want to see. I'll only be accepting people with a main tekkit series (like Honeydew Inc., InthelittleCorp., etc.) and will only bring in side characters if I can see them fitting into the story (people like Ravs, Minty, Daltos).

As always, tell me if there are any grammar issues or anything else.

-FlamingTorpedo