The Misadventures of Shorthoof

by Derpamena

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Sex
Length: 1834

Personal secretary of Celestia Shorthoof has always pleased Celestia, but Celestia knows something is bothering her. Meanwhile, Luna wants to try her new dream infiltration technique on Shorthoof. (This is my first fanfic. Constructive criticism)

My first fanfic!!!! Constructive criticism

Shorthoof has served Celestia as her personal secretary. When Celestia gives a break to all of her workers for Hearth's Warming Eve, Shorthoof is the only one who stays. Celestia knows something is bothering her little assistant and is determined to find out what it is. Meanwhile, Luna wants help Celestia with her new dream infiltration technique. She would do whatever it takes to find out what is bothering Shorthoof. On the other hand, Dovakhin, Celestia's royal alchemist, doesn't have a special somepony for Hearth's Warming Eve. Celestia hires him a new assistant, Shadow (Shorthoof's ex-coltfriend). One event leads to another. Will Celestia be able to solve Shorthoof's problem? Will Luna be able to determine the problem, and ask Dovakhin out? Will Dovakhin find a special somepony this year? And, finally, will Twilight be able to confess her love for her teacher?

Published 2012-12-27 01:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-27 01:40:02 UTC

Ch. 1

Christmas tree? Check.

Red lights? Check.

Green lights? Check.

Blue lights with little swirly thingies? Check.

Silver bells? Check.

As Shorthoof moved these decorations, the servants of the castle rushed in and grabbed whatever they could. Lights were flying everywhere, ornaments in the shapes of ponies were rolling down the ground, stockings were hanged upside down, the chaos was everywhere. The royal staff have decided to surprise their princess with their decorations; but Shorthoof couldn’t keep the staff under control.

“No no, wait, that has to be hung on that side of the... Gahhh! Looper! Not inside the fireplace!!! It goes over the fireplace- AAAhhhh! It’s gonna drop!!! Catch it! Catch it!!!!!”

Shorthoof rushed towards the falling 30 feet tree, only to be tripped by an ornament rolling across the floor. As her face hit the floor, her glasses jumped out along with her check list. The staff saw the tree about to crush the blind Shorthoof; the staff prepared to see her crushed. But, a golden aura surrounded the tree, and the tree stopped in midair.

“What in Equestria is going on here?”

Celestia stepped through the crowd of workers, and they all immediately bowed in front of her. Shorthoof stumbled on her hooves as she tried to find her glasses. Instead, she slipped on another ornament and fell face flat, again.

“Oh, your majesty, I’m truly sorry for this mess. I-I’ll make sure,” Shorthoof on the ground looking for her glasses, “to get thissssss!!” And she slipped on another ornament.

Celestia chuckled, “It’s alright, Shorthoof. You’re doing a wonderful job.”

Shorthoof finally found her glasses and sat on her rump. “R-really, your majesty?”

“Of course, my little pony.” And Celestia looked around her. “All of you have been doing a wonderful job keeping the castle clean. I say that from the bottom of my heart.”

The rest of the staff blushed in pride.

“Here, let me handle this.” Celestia, with her magic, lifted the 30 feet tree back to its proper place, levitated the ornaments back on the tree, pulled out the stockings from the fireplace and set them on top, and finally placed the banners on the arches of the windows. She did all of this with ease. The staff let out a groan of relief, now that the hard part was done.

Celestia called out, “Shorthoof.”

She replied, “Yes?”

“Look underneath.”

Shorthoof looked underneath her rump and found her clipboard. She blushed with embarrassment. “Ahh! Sorry your majesty! I’ll make sure this doesn’t-”

Celestia raised her hoof, “It’s alright, Shorthoof. It’s alright.” She directed her attention to the staff, “All of you have done a marvelous job this year. I appreciate that. You all deserve a break. Shorthoof, write this message down.”

Shorthoof brought out her quill, “To whom should I present this to, your majesty?”

“All of the staff. Let the message say this: All workers are exempt from duty for one week. Any objection to this will automatically make him or her to clean the stalls... with a toothbrush!”

The staff cheered and Shorthoof gasped, “Wah wah?? Your majesty, are you sure? Who’s going to clean your room, or who’s going to cook? Surely, you can’t. Its unacceptable! And one week is just-” Celestia raised her hoof once again. “I can take care of myself, Shorthoof. It’s alright.”

“B-but who’s going to arrange all your meetings? I mean, I do that, but who would”

“Shorthoof...”

“...and who would bring you the food”

“Shorthoof...”

“... I mean, I do all of that, but who’s going to-”

“Shorthoof!” Celestia said in her Canterlot voice.

Shorthoof immediately shrunk down to a ball along with the other staff.

“Please, all of you deserve this. It’s been a long time since any of you had a break. Please take this chance to visit your family and loved ones.”

But why, Shorthoof?! The voice passed inside her head, causing a sharp pain up her spine.

But Shadow--

No, Shorthoof! I can’t believe you would choose that job over me. I thought you were gonna come with me!

But, Shadow, this job can help me clear my debt. I need this for my family, please-

No! That’s it! We’re through!

“Shorthoof!” Celestia barked.

Shorthoof blinked a couple times, surprised by Celestia’s voice. She looked around her and noticed that the staff was already gone. It was only her and Celestia.

“Shorthoof, I don’t want to repeat myself, are you going or not?”

Shorthoof looked up and the voice came back, “We. Are. Through. Shorthoof?”

Celestia waved her hoof in front of her face. Shorthoof shook her head and said, “Oh, I’m sorry, your majesty.”

“Shorthoof, are you alright?”

Not wanting to give out her thoughts, she lied, “Y-yes, of course, haha, it’s- everything’s alright.” She faked a smile.

Using her 1000 year knowledge and being the previous bearer of honesty, Celestia knew she was hiding something. “Well... do you have anywhere to go to this week?”

“...... Y-yes, I guess” Shorthoof said dejectedly.

Celestia trotted next to her and sat on the floor. She extended her wing and wrapped around her, “My little pony, what’s bothering you?”

“If... if it’s okay, I rather s-stay here” Shorthoof sniffled.

Celestia nudged closer, “Alright, you can stay... but only if you clean the stalls.”

Shorthoof jumped out and exclaimed, “What?!”

Celestia laughed and laughed saying, “Oh, Shorthoof, you’re fun to tease with. No, you may stay here if you want. I’m not a mean cruel dictator.”

Shorthoof smiled and looked at Celestia. “Thank you, your highness, I-I’ll make sure I cook for you.”

“No, no, you rest.” Celestia looked to her left then her right and whispered, “Between you and me, you are by far the most hardworking pony out of everypony.” Shorthoof blushed and gazed into Celestia’s eyes. Both stared at each other, and a force was pulling both of their faces near to each other.

*Rustle

Shorthoof looked up. “Ummm... did you hear that, your majesty?”

Celestia looked behind her and stared at the table with a flower vase. “I think you should leave, Shorthoof. Why, don’t you have a coltfriend? Somebody in the staff told me you had one.”

The nostalgic voice returned to Shorthoof’s head. Get out! I don’t want to see your Celestiadamned face again. Get the buck out!

Shorthoof shivered and said, “N-no, I-I... J-just,” Shorthoof choked, “Just leave me alone.”
And she ran off, sobbing and choking on the way.

“Shorthoof, wait!” Celestia wanted to run off and comfort her, but the inside of her told her not to. She didn’t know what caused her to cry. She knew Shorthoof for a long time; she considered her closer than Twilight. She sighed and looked down to the floor gloomily.

“I know you’re there, Lulu. Just come out.”

The table with the flower vase morphed into the shape of an alicorn. Luna grunted, “Hmph, we did not expect you to notice us. It seems Dovakhin was wrong.... again.”

Celestia looked to her sister. “The only problem is that a table with a flower is too noticeable.”

Luna grunted again and said, “Why sister, what did thou do this time?”

“I... I don’t know. Usually Shorthoof would tell me her feelings, but this time she just ran off. Did I say something that invoked her? Oh Lulu, walk with me.” Celestia stood and walked in the same direction Shorthoof ran.

Luna caught up with Celestia. It was rare for her older sister to ask her to walk with her. Usually, Shorthoof would escort her, babbling about the schedule.

“Dear sister, we wish to speak to you about something.”

“And that is?”

“Well, it’s more of a.... a suggestion.”

“Suggestion?”

Both stopped at a nearby window. “We believe the problem is that Shorthoof had a traumatic event. Whatever you said probably triggered a bad memory, thus causing her to, uh, how should I say it, cry.”

“And what would be your suggestion?”

“Sister, I know you’ll say no to this, but I was treated this way once when I was depressed. And it truly worked.”

Celestia looked outside and her eye caught two birds flying. They were both sparrows. The two birds looked like they were playing. Sighing, Celestia asked, “What is it you want to try out?” She knew her younger sister was like her pupil; both felt the need to test things.

“We would like to explore her dreams.” Luna backed away, preparing for her older sister’s lecture.

“You want to invade my most trusted servant’s privacy?! No Luna! I forbid you to do that!”

“But Tia-”

“No. You will not trespass into other ponies’ dreams.”

Luna stared at her sister. She was about to rebuttal, but Celestia raised her hoof. “Shorthoof is my most trusted pony. And don’t tell Twilight this, but I trust Shorthoof more than her.”

Luna sighed deeply and said, “Alright sister, I promise not to invade Shorthoof’s thoughts.” She bended her head down, trying to look sad. Then a large wing wrapped around her. “Thank you, Lulu. I know how much you want to try this out, but I don’t want to lose Shorthoof’s trust. Thank you for understanding. If it makes you feel better, you can try on Dovakhin. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind,” Celestia winked.

“Haha, you are right sister. Dovakhin would be the perfect guinea pig.”
Celestia looked outside the window and saw the two sparrows. What surprised her was that the two birds were fighting her. Celestia shivered, thinking it was an omen.

“Well, I must be going. I must attend a small meeting with Blueblood. The poor stallion needs help finding a particular mare he met long ago.”

“Yes, Tia. You should probably go.”

Luna and Celestia went opposite ways, until Celestia called out, “Luna!”

“Yes, sister?”

“Thank you for understanding. You are the best sister I can ask for.”

Luna’s cheeks grew bright red and she said, “We thank thee, sister, for consulting with us.”

And Celestia left her standing in the hallway. As soon as she was good distance away, Luna told herself, “Haha, O sister. Always foolish with words.” Dark smoke started to form around her. “We promised not to invade her thoughts.” Her body transmuted into a dark cloud. “But we didn’t promise that we wouldn’t invade her dreams.” She gave a playful sinister laugh. Oh the fun she would have.
The dark cloud creeped out the window and into the air.

Down the hallway there were two paths, both left and right. The left lead to another room in the castle while the right lead to the courtyard. Shorthoof hid on the left path next to a painting of Celestia. Shorthoof thought to herself, Should I tell, or should I not? Fearing the princess of the night would turn and find her, Shorthoof rushed to the next room. As she ran, the voice came back, haunting her: Get. The. Buck. Out!

Author's Note

My first fanfic. Constructive criticism necessary. Hope you enjoy!