A Ponyville Picnic

by Triple Word Score

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Diamond Dogs, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia
Length: 2838

Just an ordinary get-together among friends. What could go wrong?

After a day of hard work, Twilight and her friends get together for a picnic. What could possibly go wrong?

Published 2012-12-27 00:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-27 00:50:02 UTC

This

It was a gorgeous autumn day in Ponyville. The sky was completely clear of any clouds, the sun made it just warm enough to be comfortable outside, and the leaves had all been picked up from the annual Running of the Leaves.

For a certain lavender unicorn, this was the last important item on her late early-afternoon checklist, allowing her to move on to the early mid-afternoon checklist.

Twilight Sparkle allowed herself a moment to grumble about not having Spike around for most of the day, as she would have appreciated his help. However, Rarity wanted to borrow the young dragon for one last gem gathering session before the ground froze and became too hard to dig into. Given that it was the last day before the pegasi would let the clouds move in and the temperature drop for winter to officially begin, the local librarian understood the need to prioritize. It helped that her assistant wasn't exactly complaining about spending more time with his not-so-secret secret crush. She checked off the first item from her list.

Despite all the work that needed to be done, overseeing the town's pre-winter tasks turned out to be much easier than salvaging the nearly botched wrap-up from her first winter in Ponyville. It seemed like everypony already knew what they had to do, and they wasted no time in getting it done. All Twilight had to do was check off everything on the list and compile a report for Mayor Mare to review.

The ponies of Ponyville made a point of finishing their pre-winter preparations early enough to enjoy the last afternoon of pleasant weather outdoors. Pinkie Pie had arranged to have a picnic near Fluttershy's cottage for her closest friends after they all finished their own work. This, however, was not the next item on the checklist. Twilight quickly set off to take care of items two and three, create and deliver her report.

Meanwhile...

Spot glanced over to Lucky, who was the leader of their group, “Boss, you sure about this? What if pony has too many friends?”

“Worry about that when it becomes problem,” replied the lead diamond dog, not taking his eyes off the unicorn and dragon they had been following. “Runty hear pony say 'little picnic', can't be too many ponies if picnic is little. Nothing can go wrong.”

Despite his misgivings on their complicated plan, Spot couldn't bring himself to argue with that logic.

Indeed, Lucky had lived up to his name just the week before. He and his pack of diamond dogs had no place to stay for the winter when they stumbled across an abandoned mine full of gems just waiting to be harvested. Judging by various tools and implements strewn about the caverns, it appeared to have been abandoned in a hurry. Buster even found a small amount of gems in a storage room. Unfortunately, it was nowhere near enough to sustain the four of them for an entire winter, which meant a lot of digging for gems, which meant a lot of work.

It was Buster's idea to kidnap some ponies to do all the digging and hauling for them, and the other three agreed because it would get them out of doing work. The bad news was that the nearby town had too many ponies around to grab a few and make a clean escape. The unthinkable prospect of doing work loomed ever closer for the canine quartet.

Once again, Lucky thought his name was more than just that when Spot came down that morning to report a white horn pony and a dragon digging up gems right over their heads. Immediately, Runty was sent up to spy on the two. Because of his small size, he could remain hidden while watching, listening, and following his unsuspecting marks while they filled up an entire cart with delicious gems.

Their plan was hatched as soon as Runty delivered his initial report. Follow the pony and her dragon to their picnic, kidnap them and their friends, and get them to dig up enough gems for the winter. It was absolutely foolproof. However, doubts were setting in as they waited for their targets to drop off their haul and head to the picnic.

All told, the day had gone off without a hitch. With all her responsibilities taken care of, Twilight Sparkle could finally relax and enjoy the rest of the afternoon with her best friends. Rainbow Dash had recently returned with the pegasus team that led the local birds south. Fluttershy was finished tucking in all the hibernating animals and making sure their dens were well insulated from the cold. Applejack and her family finished the inventory of their winter storage cellars. Twilight had checked on all this herself during her appointed rounds earlier in the day. Pinkie Pie, not having any special winter preparations at Sugar Cube Corner, spent the day baking all kinds of goodies for their picnic. Last, but not least, Rarity had gathered more than enough gems with Spike's help to use in her fashion designs for the season.

Spike was in his own world of bliss, enjoying a few gems given to him as a reward from the unicorn of his dreams.

At last, patience had finally paid off for the diamond dogs. Runty successfully tracked the gem-finding pony and her dragon companion to their picnic. While there were slightly more ponies than anticipated, Lucky decided that six ponies were still manageable. The ponies were gathered on a small hill near the edge of the Everfree Forest.

Using the tree line for concealment, the four canines moved closer in order to get a better look at their targets. They confirmed Runty's scouting report of two plain ponies, two wing ponies, two horn ponies, and a small dragon. Of the six ponies, the two plain ponies were playing some sort of game, one purple horn pony was reading a book, the white horn pony they had been following was talking to a yellow wing pony, and the dragon and blue wing pony appeared to be sleeping. With so many of them distracted, it was perfect for a sneak attack.

Lucky turned to address his pack. “Okay, here is plan. We sneak up on ponies as quiet as we can. Buster, you is biggest, so you grab yellow wing pony and use her to get attention of others. Spot, Runty, you be ready to deal with any pony that try funny business. I will do talking to make ponies obey.”

The other three nodded in agreement, and the four of them set their plan into motion.

Pinkie had truly outdone herself once again. This picnic would be remembered for years to come as the standard which all other picnics would strive for. The baked goods could only be described as mouthful of pure delight, not to mention the rest of the spread. Too bad the pink party pony wouldn't tell Twilight the recipes. They were considered top-secret and a matter of national security.

The six ponies and dragon were reveling in the afterglow of a successful get-together. Pinkie was teaching Applejack a new card game. Rarity was discussing a new fashion line with Fluttershy, trying to convince the shy pegasus to model for her by promising not to involve photographers or cameras in any way. Rainbow Dash and Spike had accomplished their goal of eating way too much and passing out in food-induced comas. Twilight Sparkle, ever the scholar, had her nose buried in her newest book, Incredible Insights into Illusory Incantations.

They never saw the diamond dogs coming.

There was a barely audible “Eeep!”

It was followed by a much more audible “Unhand her you ruffians!”

Roused from their individual activities, all eyes were drawn to a large, burly canine holding a very terrified Fluttershy in one paw, a very sharp knife in the other, and wearing a very unfriendly expression on his face.

“Give us one good reason we shouldn't flatten you right now,” growled Rainbow Dash, who was now wide awake and ready to charge her friend's attacker along with Applejack.

“Because Buster is very clumsy diamond dog. If he has to fight ponies, he might slip and hurt ponies' little friend,” came a new voice as three more of them approached. The two smaller dogs drew weapons of their own, and the third, who appeared to be the leader, continued to talk. “We no want such pretty pony getting hurt, would we?”

“P-p-p-please don't hurt me,” whimpered the animal caretaker, tears forming around her eyes.

Twilight was absolutely livid at this point, her horn glowing intensely, ready to unleash the wrath of Celestia on the four canines. This only prompted the one called 'Buster' to move his knife closer to his captive's throat, causing the lavender mage to back down. “What do you want?” she asked through gritted teeth with her eyes narrowed dangerously.

The lead diamond dog kept a level expression the whole time. “First, you give us all of your gems. Then, you dig up more.”

This time, the other unicorn cried out, “But I spent all day gathering those!”

“No, you not going to pony town to get help. You belong to us now. We want those gems,” replied the leader, gesturing at something behind the group of ponies and dragon.

Understandably, this caused some confusion amongst the ponies. In unison, they all turned to look behind them, and sure enough, there was a sizable wooden box with its lid open, showing that it was indeed full of countless sparkling gemstones.

Rather than wait for a response, the four dogs immediately took advantage of the ponies' confusion and converged on the box, not caring whose it was or how it got there. Buster, in his clumsy eagerness, even dropped his hostage in the process, and she wasted no time in rushing toward the relative safety of her friends.

It is unclear exactly what happened next. It is believed there were four diamond dogs involved, but they were never seen or heard from again. As such, they could not be reached for comment.

There were also six ponies and a young dragon present. However, one of the ponies had her eyes firmly shut the whole time, and the others utterly refuse to speak of the events that took place.

What is known is that shortly afterward, the mysterious box sprouted dozens of tiny legs and began to advance on the six mares and their draconic companion.

“RUUUUUUNNNN!!!!” Twilight was the first to react. Panic, having overridden rational thinking, directed the unicorn not to Fluttershy's cottage, which was closest, but to the library, where she felt safest. The others followed soon after out of simple herd instinct.

Applejack at least had the presence of mind to pick up Spike before bolting off to catch up with her friends. In return, the librarian's assistant kept watch to the rear of the group, confirming that they were still being chased by a wooden trunk with legs.

At soon as everypony had cleared the library entrance, the door slammed shut, and every single lock was engaged to bar entrance to their pursuer. Further, the librarian conjured up every single barrier, ward, and shield spell she knew in order to bolster the library's defenses. Nothing short of the Princesses would be able to penetrate her defenses.

It was all for nothing. The trunk walked right through Twilight's best defenses as if they weren't even there, and then it smashed right through the front door, tearing it completely out of its frame while taking out a chunk of the surrounding wall as well. With her friends too afraid to go near the abominable thing, the Princess's protege unleashed a barrage of arcane bolts, trying desperately to stave off the inevitable doom of herself and her friends.

Once again, the unicorn's efforts had no effect. All she could do at this point was join her closest friends in huddling behind the sofa. Hugging and crying, they awaited their painful and terrible fate.

Minutes later, when their demise still hadn't come, Rainbow Dash braved a look over their makeshift furniture fortress. “It's just sitting there,” she noted.

Curiosity piqued, the others slowly rose to peer out of their shelter. Indeed, the box was just sitting there with its lid open as if waiting for somepony to approach.

“There's something inside,” said the cyan pegasus, who began to hover above the group only for Applejack to yank her back down.

“Ya saw what happened before, Dash. Ya can't go near that thing.”

“Maybe Twilight can grab it with her magic,” offered Pinkie Pie.

“I can't. I used too much magic trying to fight that thing off.”

All eyes shifted towards Rarity.

“Me!?!? But, what if it...”

“If that thing comes after you, it's gonna have to go through me first,” Spike interrupted, emboldened by the high stakes. “Just... promise you'll remember me,” he added weakly.

“Oh Spikey Wikey,” cooed the elegant unicorn while gently nuzzling the foolish young dragon. “I wouldn't dare forget about you. Alright, here goes.”

Steeling herself, the fashion designer tentatively reached out with her telekinesis to remove the items from the trunk. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when it didn't react, so she brought her prize back behind the sofa to get a closer look.

Even Pinkie was confused, “Hoof warmers? Why would we need hoof warmers? This isn't a hoof warmer emergency.”

However, these weren't just any hoof warmers. They were knitted hoof warmers perfectly color matched to each of the six ponies in the room. To top it all off, each one was emblazoned with the cutie mark of the pony it matched.

“I do believe I smell a slight hint of lavender,” observed Rarity.

“Sh-should we try them on?” By now, Fluttershy had been coaxed out of her cowering to marvel at this new development.

Disturbingly, the knitted garments fit their apparent owners perfectly. 'Too perfectly,' Twilight thought to herself. She also noted that despite being knitted from ordinary yarn and having no detectable enchantments, there was no itchy sensation from wearing them, and they seemed to be much warmer and more comfortable than they rightfully should have. Whoever made these must be some sort of diabolical genius.

That train of thought was interrupted by a grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane and crooked eyes crash-landing in the wreckage of the entryway exclaiming, “My luggage!!”

Seven jaws promptly hit the floor.

“Derpy?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“No, that's Ditzy Doo,” corrected Pinkie Pie, “Trust me, I know every pony in Ponyville.”

“Whatever. You're saying this thing is yours?”

“Yep,” was the enthusiastic reply. The clumsy pony even bounced slightly when she answered.

Twilight Sparkle was nearing a state of shock. “You mean to tell me that this trunk is yours? This trunk that saved us from being foalnapped by diamond dogs, chased us back here, broke through all my defenses, and demolished my front door is your luggage?!?!?!?”

“Uh huh,” Ditzy replied, just as enthusiastically as before.

The librarian could only sigh in exasperation. Physically, magically, and emotionally, she was spent. While she wanted to continue her tirade, she couldn't do anything more than collapse on the floor.

“Um... Sorry about your door.”

“Wha...” The exhausted unicorn managed before looking up, only to see the crazy-eyed pegasus mare riding toward the sunset on top of her luggage with a look of innocent happiness on her face.

Canterlot Palace, Royal Bedchambers:

Princess Celestia set down a pair of large needles and inspected her latest creation, satisfaction increasing as she examined the length of the scarf. Her skills were improving with the help of a certain book she found in the forbidden section of the Royal Library. Unfortunately, the name of the author of Advanced Knitting Techniques had been lost to antiquity.

Just then, Princess Luna entered the room.

“Sister, I am growing concerned about this hobby of yours. Your student is under enough stress as it is.”

“Says the mare who unloaded a moving wagon fifty feet above her.”

“It is not my fault that during my absence, ponies forgot all about the healing properties of anvils and pianos applied directly to the head. She was as good as new mere moments later.”

“Point taken.”

“In any case, I am here to remind you of your appointment this evening. It is time for the newest member of our guard to receive his welcome.”

Her face taking on a mischievous grin, Celestia replied, “I will be there momentarily.”

At that, the Princess of the Sun levitated her work over to a wooden trunk next to her dresser. The lid opened on its own to accept the latest addition to its contents. Made from magical sapient pearwood, this particular traveling trunk was a gift from a cherished friend so long ago.

However, now was not the time for reminiscing, not when there were rookie guards to mess with.