Thursday had finally arrived. Joe’s alarm clock blared and Joe leaned over, slamming his hand against the snooze button on his alarm clock, the digital numbers read 5:00. Joe rolled over and fell back to sleep but within five minutes the alarm clock was blaring again. Joe grumbled to himself and slammed his clock, this time though the alarm clock shattered. “Oh fuck… okay I’ll buy a new alarm clock after work” Joe muttered and rolled off his couch. His house was exceptionally clean but that was only because he was usually never around to make it messy.

He hadn’t slept on his bed in at least a month, since he preferred to lay on the couch in the living room and pass out watching late night TV. He moved his tongue around in his mouth and he had that awful morning feeling that made his mouth taste like he had drank out of a toilet. He grumbled to himself, grabbing the remote and pressing the power button as he walked into the kitchen to make himself breakfast. “Today’s weather is going to be stormy and rainy” the news anchor informed the viewers. “Okay, I’ll make sure to wear tropical clothes” Joe chuckled as he looked through his fridge for something to eat.

“God, I’d kill for some bacon” Joe muttered as he pulled out an apple and an orange. Ever since he’d arrived in Equestria it had become apparent that ponies didn’t eat meat and it was shunned to eat meat. So ever since he arrived he hadn’t gotten any meat, closest thing to meat was eggs, but sometimes you just really need some good old fashioned bacon for breakfast. Joe cut the apple into slices and peeled the orange as the news anchor went on about other random crap.

Joe ate the fruit but his stomach still wasn’t satisfied, he opened the fridge and pulled out some eggs and started one of the stove elements. Cracking one of the eggs into the pan he figured he might as well have some coffee for breakfast and grabbed the coffee can of espresso coffee and poured it into the coffee maker. He rubbed his eyes and groaned as he mumbled to himself.

He set the stove element to a low heat setting and went back to the living room and flopped down on the couch and switched it to the morning cartoons, they were relatively better than the ones back on earth but closely resembled his earth cartoons that he used to watch. A rabbit named Jack would run around while some bear named Smokey chased him around and tried to catch him.

Joe smiled to himself as he remembered when he was four years old and he watched The Bugs Bunny and Tweedy show with his dad, how Elmer Fud would always try and blast Bugs Bunny but would somehow his shots always missed or Bugs Bunny would create some stupid elaborate plan to foil Elmer’s plans.

Joe reached over and opened a secret compartment in the living room table. A small drawer slide out and there was a large trinket chest lying inside the compartment. Joe pulled out the trinket chest and blew off the dust that had accumulated on the chest. He flipped open the top to the small chest and looked at its contents. Inside was a beautiful Colt M1911 .45 caliber handgun with a beautiful reinforced chrome slide, on the slide of the gun there were many engravings and above the engravings there was an inscription that read ‘To Joseph love Dad’. A tear rolled down Joe’s eye and he sucked back a sniffle and put the gun back in the chest, hidding it back in the secret compartment of the table.

Joe smelt his eggs cooking and went back to the kitchen and served himself a plate of eggs and a cup of coffee.

* * *

Joe parked his car around back of the school like he always did and turned off the car. Like he had predicted, the news weather ponies were wrong and it was a fine day out but despite the warm weather Joe had dressed in: a jean jacket with a white t-shirt underneath, dark blue jeans and some heavy steel toed work boots. He grabbed a cowboy hat from the back seat of the car and placed it on his head and walked into the school.

Class was about to start but Joe walked casually down the halls and to his locker and spun the combination. He tried to open the lock but it didn’t budge, he gave it a few tugs but it was reluctant to open, Joe sighed and spun the combination again but once again it wouldn’t open. Joe became agitated as he spun the combination for a third time but still it wouldn’t open.

Joe started to become rather pissed, why the hell had he bought this lock for 5 bits if it didn’t even work. “You fucking son of… fucking cunt sucking whore… mother fucking cock sucking… FUCK” Joe swore and tried to pull the lock open but it wouldn’t budge, ‘Time to just rip this fucking lock off the locker’ Joe told himself but suddenly that mare that he had become good friends with recently stepped up beside him. “Hey Joe, need help with your lock?” Scootaloo asked. Joe nodded and stepped back as she spun the lock.

‘This mare seems to show up at the weirdest of times’ Joe thought to himself as she opened his locker. “Thanks kid, guess that’s three” Joe replied but then realized that they had busted him out of the hospital the other day. “Actually I guess that’s four” Joe informed her and she looked at him curiously, “Heck if it weren’t for you I’d probably still be stuck in the hospital… guess I’ll have to take you out to a really nice diner or something to make up for it” Joe replied casually and grabbed his things from his locker.

As he turned back to talk to her he realized she was zipping around the corner, “Uhm… goodbye then” Joe chuckled and closed his locker ‘I really need a new lock’ Joe thought to himself. Joe strolled down the hallways but suddenly Diamond Tiara and three large stallions stepped forward. “Just what do you think you’re doing with that goody two shoes?” Tiara scowled and Joe raised an eyebrow. “Who?” Joe asked curiously. “You damn well know who, don’t play stupid” Tiara scowled and Joe shrugged and began to walk past her but the three stallions stepped in his way.

“Excuse me gentlecolts but I must be getting to class now” Joe said in a British accent. The stallions kept a blunt face, trying to act tough. Joe sighed “Please move” Joe sighed politely but still they didn’t move. The stallions simply stood there, expressionless, like body guards or something. Tiara looked to Joe “Neat aren’t they, daddy hired some body guards for me to protect me on my way to and back from school, along with my everyday life at school. Don’t underestimate them they are extremely well trained and could break you in an instant” Tiara sneered and walked up beside Joe.

“So I’ll ask one more time, what are you doing with that stupid bitch” Tiara asked, in a bitchy tone. Joe sighed, irritated with Tiara’s behaviour, and looked to her “Well, not sure who you’re referring to, but if it’s my boss then you better step off now because she’s a good pony and I don’t like ponies talking down about Applejack just because she has a southern accent” Joe told her. “Not her I meant” Tiara began but Joe cut her off, “And another thing” Joe began and looked to the three body guards “Tell you’re fucking gimps to move it or I’ll break their fucking noses” Joe told her in a cold voice.

The body guards gulped and stepped out of his way, “Looks like they have two brain cells to rub together, you could learn a thing or two from them” Joe said as he walked past them and away from Tiara.

Joe chuckled to himself as he thought about Tiara’s stupid behaviour, those weren’t body guards they were just some seniors that she had probably whored herself out to so they would act like her body guards. Joe had seen them in the hallways before they had met Tiara. Joe entered the history class just as the bell rang and went to his back seat where Scootaloo was already sitting down.

“Good morning class, today I’m giving you the entire period to research your historical figure. If you have any questions please ask” Mr. Cotton told the class, resulting in many groans of boredom from other students. Scootaloo leaned over, “I was thinking…” Scootaloo began and Joe turned to her, “Go on” Joe replied and Scootaloo pulled out a book titled ‘Biography of Star Swirl the bearded’. “Want to do the history report on him?” Scootaloo asked and Joe just shrugged, “Whatever you want kid, I’ll just tag along for the ride” Joe replied.

Author's Note

So when I was writing this I kind of got the wierd feeling that Joe knew that she liked him but was being a dick, but I just wanted him to be oblivious so I wrote this chapter focusing more on his perspective so it just seemed like she was just acting strange,
and on a side note, thank you to all the readers that liked my book, it means alot that people actually like my stories, even if it is a terrible romance idea with sex involved, so I say big thanks to all you guys and gals out there thumbs up to all you readers who have put up with me