DISCLAIMER:
The following is a non-profit, fan-based, piece of WRITTEN FICTION
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to HASBRO STUDIOS, DHX MEDIA, THE HUB NETWORK, and LAUREN FAUST
Please support the official release
NOTE: Considering the recent news concerning the details surrounding the Season 3 Finale, let’s just assume this story is set before the events of the finale.
Chapter Four

“Derpy!” Twilight cried out in surprise upon seeing the grey Pegasus’ grand entrance; “How did THIS happen?!”

Derpy Hooves pulled her head from out of the newly made hole in the door, opened the door itself, and walked inside closing the door behind her.

“Sorry Twilight. I saw Big Macintosh come outside and I figured it was my turn since I’m next in line. But I must have tripped on a rock or something and… well, you just saw what happened.” Derpy explained sheepishly.

Twilight Sparkle sighed and she put a hoof to her face.

Derpy Hooves was Ponyville’s resident mail mare. As how her mishap with the door has shown, the grey Pegasus was often a bit clumsy and had a tendency to break things when those moments do happen. Rainbow Dash could testify to that way back when they were getting ready for Applejack’s going-away ceremony for her at the time upcoming rodeo.
But the student of Princess Celestia also knew that Derpy was still a polite and often funny pony; and more importantly: she was also a good mother to her daughter, Dinky.

But wait a minute…

What now?

“Derpy, I didn’t know you were single.” Twilight said.

Derpy tilted her head to the side curiously, “What makes you say that?”

It’s just that,” Twilight explained, “…well, you and Dinky spend a lot of your time with Doctor Whooves. So I just assumed that…”

Derpy shook her head. “Oh no. The Doctor and I aren’t together. Sure he’s a great friend, and he helps me out at my house. You know: Dishes, laundry, keeping an eye on Dinky…”

“Ah, I see-” Twilight started.

“…and every now and then he takes us through journeys in time and space! All thanks to the TARDIS!”

Twilight could only stare at Derpy, who smiled innocently.

Well, can’t say I saw that coming.

For once I totally agree with you.

Derpy continued, “But no, we’re not TOGETHER together. You get what I’m saying?”

“I suppose I do.” Twilight answered. “Let’s get started shall we?”

Derpy nodded as Twilight retrieved her notepad and wrote down what she already knew about the mail mare as she did with Big Macintosh.

NAME: Derpy Hooves

GENDER: Female

OCCUPATION: Postal Worker

Looking towards the Pegasus mare, Twilight began her questioning.

“First question. Have you ever dated anypony before?”

Derpy thought about it for a moment, and then answered, “Well… back in Cloudsdale High, I went to the Annual Prom with this other stallion. It started off good, but then I accidentally sneezed while we were taking the Prom photo together. It startled him and he wound up tripping over a balloon and landed onto the snack table. The punch bowl got launched into the air and it landed on the Prom Queen.”

Twilight blinked; “Wow. That must have been embarrassing to you.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Derpy responded, “She deserved it! She always picked on me and anypony she felt was lower than her; me because of my eyes. My date and I both left the place laughing. We later went to an ice cream shop and met up with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. I think Fluttershy was too shy to stay there and Rainbow left to be with her. As for me and my date, we both agreed that a romantic relationship just wasn’t going to work out.”

We’ve GOTTA go to wherever she parties.

Shut up. I wanna hear this.

Twilight marked down “Once had a prom date” on the notepad before turning back towards Derpy.

“Okay then. Next question: Do you have any particular hobbies that you enjoy?”

Derpy replied eagerly, “I’ve got several. Whenever I’m not working or traveling through time and space with the Doctor, I like to spend time with my Little Muffin.”

Twilight knew right away that she wasn’t talking about her favorite food. “What do you and Dinky like to do with each other?”

“Coloring in her coloring books, board games, helping me cook. I love her more than anything in the world.”

Twilight couldn’t hide the smile from her face (nor did she try to) as she wrote in her notepad some more.

The lavender unicorn said, “That’s very caring of you. Final question: Despite what happened at the Prom, do you think you’d ever date anypony ever again?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Derpy responded, “I mean, sure it would be nice to find a pony to go out with; but between my work delivering mail, traveling with the Doctor, and raising Dinky…”

Twilight nodded, “It’s okay, there’s no right or wrong answer.” She wrote in her notepad again before setting it down. “Well, I think that will do it. Thanks for your time Derpy.”

“Anytime Twilight.” Derpy replied while shaking her hoof. And with that, she turned around and exited the library.

After certain that she was gone, Twilight called out; “Well, Rarity? Thoughts?”

“Well… her clumsiness aside, she is polite enough. And Miss Hooves certainly has a pleasant sense of humor. But honestly, I’m not sure if she’s dating material. It’s not that I don’t think we’d make fantastic partners, it’s just that I don’t want to risk taking her time way from her job as a mail mare; and more importantly, from her daughter. So I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass on Derpy Hooves.” Rarity summarized.

Boo-yah! That’s one potential escort down for the count!

Don’t say that! I think it was commendable on Rarity’s part. She took into account of Derpy’s casual lifestyle, and her daughter.

...You are such a kill-joy. You know that?

“Very well then,” Twilight said, “let’s bring in the next one.”

Twilight trotted over to the door and opened it. “Next pony please.”

Two mares stepped forward and Twilight recognized both of them. On the left was another one of her closest friends, Pinkie Pie. On the right was Bon Bon, local candy-maker, roommate, and close friend of Lyra Heartstrings.

Twilight gave the pink Earth Pony a puzzled look, “Pinkie? What brings you over here? I didn’t know you were single.”

Pinkie Pie wasted no time into going into one of her overly excited rants.

“Oh I sure am Twilight! But Bonnie and I aren’t looking for Special Someponies today, but Lyra’s birthday is coming up next week and you know how much I love parties but my favorite kind of parties are BIRTHDAY PARTIES! So while Bonnie was delivering some candy to Mr. and Mrs. Cake today she mentioned Lyra’s birthday and I had this super duper brilliant idea for a totally out of this world birthday party idea; I grabbed Bonnie and brought her here just right now so we could find some books on party ideas because I could use some inspiration to how a background pony could enjoy a party created by a main pony!”

Twilight tilted her head, “Wait, if you just got here, how did you know about the single pony survey. And for that matter, who said anything about Special Someponies?!”

Pinkie gave a simple answer; “I read the last three chapters.”

Twilight could only stare at her pink friend.

I’m at a loss for words right now.

I bet you are.

You mean to tell me that you’re not weirded out by any of this?

We’ve been friends with Pinkie Pie for YEARS. How is this a surprise to you?

Finally, the cream-coated pony stepped forward. “I think what Pinkie is trying to say is that Lyra’s birthday is next week and I’ve asked Pinkie to help me throw a party for her. But then we saw this line in front of the library. We assumed there was some kind of book sale going on.”

Twilight finally nodded in understanding; “Ah, I see now. So, how does Lyra’s upcoming birthday party involve coming here?”

“Well…” Bon Bon answered, “There’s nopony in Ponyville better at getting a party organized than Pinkie Pie; and she figured that there should be a dessert cookbook here.”

“That’s right!” Pinkie Pie added, “I wanna find a super special kind of cake for Lyra! But I gotta admit, between the super special cake and getting my Party Cannon loaded and ready, I’m gonna have my hooves full. But that hasn’t stopped me before!”

As Pinkie Pie spoke, Spike approached the group with a book in his claws.

“Could this help?” He asked as he gave the book over to the two Earth Ponies. The title read ‘Unique Cake Recipes for Eggheads.’

Pinkie Pie leapt into the air; “IT’S PERFECT! I just know that in here is a cake Lyra is going to love! First, she’ll look at it in absolute disbelief then she’ll eat some of it and the next thing anypony knows…SHE’LL BE OVER PRINCESS LUNA’S MOON!!!!” She cried out.

Bon Bon then cut in; “I meanwhile will be handling the invitations and RSVPs.” She turned towards Twilight and Spike, “You two are invited by the way. I’ve already sent invitations to your other friends too.”

“Sweet!” Spike replied excitedly.

Twilight spoke, “Well, I’ll have to see how my schedule works out; but I’m most definitely interested in going.”

“Great!” Bon Bon responded, “The party is next week over at the bowling alley at noon. Maybe if enough ponies come, we can even get a bowling tournament going!”

Spike couldn’t resist throwing in his two bits; “Well, I may be no professional bowler… but when I get my groove going, you guys had better watch out.”

Before anypony could say anything else, Pinkie Pie started pushing Bon Bon out the door. “Come on Bonnie! We’ve got a lot to get super- duper- allie- uper ready for!”

Bon Bon turned her head back to the lavender unicorn and baby dragon, “Uh… goodbye! Hope you two can make it!” With that being said, both Earth Ponies exited the library and closed the door.

Twilight called out, “Rarity? Did you catch that?”

“Yes I did. Pinkie Pie certainly has a way with… wooing the crowd.”

Spike asked the invisible white unicorn; “Say, you don’t think that Lyra’s birthday party at the bowling alley might be a good
location for one of your potential dates?”

Both the student and the assistant heard the dress maker mull over that possibility; “Well, bowling isn’t exactly my favorite interest… or any sport for that matter. But there’s nothing wrong with me and my date spectating and enjoying the rest of the party. So yes Spikey-Wikey; that sounds like a sound idea.”

Twilight decided to change the subject, “Alright then, let’s get back to business, shall we?” She trotted over to the door and opened it. “Next pony please!”

The pony to step forward was a stallion. But Twilight had to do a double take before asking the next candidate.

“Uh… I’m assuming you’re here for the survey?” Twilight asked uncertainly.

She got a response from the stallion in front of her.

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Oh…

Sweet…

Horseapples.

Author's Note

And there you have it folks! I told ya I'd come out of my writer's block!

Next Chapter will have the final interviews!