Twilight Sparkle's First Date

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Chapter 1

3:05 PM, on a Friday. All the ponies at the Canterlot University were celebrating the end of school, and the start of a three-day weekend. Parties were being planned, dates were being scheduled, and everyone was having a good time.

Only one unicorn was not joining in the festivities. Her name was Twilight Sparkle, the personal protégé of Princess Celestia. It was a well-known fact that Twilight Sparkle was the school valedictorian for five years running, and she even had more raw magical power than some of the teachers.

She also had the social skills of a broken gazebo.

Twilight Sparkle currently had her nose stuck in a book, as she walked down the hallway. She didn't take any notice of the other ponies, who were all talking about their plans for the holiday. There was one pony in particular, though, who was taking notice of her: a reddish/pink unicorn with a short, dark mane and small blue glasses.

This is it, he thought. Time for me to finally talk to her. No big deal, right? She's only the most famous pony in school.

"The square of the sum of the hypotenuse of the radius times the denominator—" Twilight muttered to himself.

"Hiiiii Twilight," the colt said.

The unexpected noise completely threw Twilight for a loop. She looked up, and smashed into her book. This caused her to trip, which made her smash into a nearby wall.

The colt flinched. That looked painful.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" he asked, as he went over to Twilight and held out her hoof towards her. "I didn't mean to startle you!"

"You made me lose my place!" Twilight Sparkle complained, as she grabbed his hoof and pulled herself back up. "Why did—you—huh?"

Twilight suddenly noticed that the pony helping her up had a well-defined snout and angular cheekbones. It took a second for her to process this information. She was close—somewhat close—to a pony with a square-shaped face.

Jeepers, it's a colt! Twilight thought. She instinctively jumped backwards in fear, which caused her to smash into the wall again.

The colt frowned slightly. This conversation was getting off to a bad start. He was beginning to regret his decision to approach his secret crush.

"Twilight, are you okay?" the girl asked.

"I...I'm fine...uh...John," Twilight Sparkle said, resisting the urge to scream and run away. Her boy senses were tingling, because he was a boy. A boy! An actual boy! Talking to her!

"My name is Longsight Spellen," he said, a little disappointed that Twilight didn't know his name. "We've been in the same homeroom for three years."

"Uh...uh...yeah..." Twilight Sparkle said.

She had no idea what to say. Various thoughts popped into her head, but they all sounded wrong. I like your glasses? No, that sounded creepy. Homeroom class sure is...homeroomy? No, dumb, dumb. Will you please be my boyfriend? No no NO!

Twilight swallowed heavily, as the silence grew longer and longer. Great, now she looked stupid, because she couldn't think of anything to say, and this colt was going to hate her forever because of it, and she was going to ruin his one chance at true love, and why is it so hard to talk to other ponies?

"So..." Longsight said. He was slightly nervous, and the conversation (or lack thereof) was kind of creeping him out, but he was determined to continue. Twilight Sparkle completely misinterpreted the message he was sending, though.

Oh, no, he's angry at me now! Twilight thought. Think! Think! Uh...the weather! Dad says no matter what, you can always talk about the weather!

"It's a sunny day today!" Twilight practically shouted. As a matter of fact, it was somewhat cloudy that day, but Twilight hadn't actually looked outside.

"That's right!" Longsight said, looking somewhat relieved. "It's the perfect day to watch some hoofball!"

Hoofball. The only thing Twilight Sparkle knew about hoofball was the fact that it was some kind of sport. As you might expect, Twilight Sparkle was not very big on team sports, or really, any sort of activity which involved working with a lot of other ponies.

"I have two tickets to the hoofball game tonight," he said. "And I need someone to take with me."

This was the cue for Twilight Sparkle to say, "I'd love for you to take me to the hoofball game!" Needless to say, she missed the cue completely. Instead, she blinked in confusion. "What about your parents?" she asked.

"Huh?" Longsight Spellen asked.

"Can't your parents take you to the game?" she asked. "If it's too far away for you, I'm sure they can give you a ride."

Longsight Spellen frowned. Did she somehow not think he was a grown adult, capable of taking care of himself? What kind of college student still needs to have their parents take them everywhere?

Twilight Sparkle smiled. After some original trouble, she had the sense that this conversation was going smoothly! Score two points for Twilight!

"I mean, I need somepony to go with," Longsight Spellen clarified.

"Why do you need somepony to go see your parents with you?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

"I don't!" Longsight Spellen said.

"But you just said you did," Twilight said.

"I didn't!" Longsight Spellen said. "I mean—I have two tickets to the hoofball game, and I'd like to take—"

"Your parents!" Twilight Sparkle said. "You're going to give the tickets to them! That's really nice of you!"

Longsight Spellen facehoofed.

"Say, I'm going to a family dinner tonight," Twilight said. Her brother, Shining Armor, was back in town after a long absence. "Do you think I should get something for my parents, too? Maybe they'd like hoofball tickets!"

"Ugh, forget it!" Longsight Spellen said. He stomped away, muttering something about a thick-headed pretty-girl.

Twilight Sparkle watched him go, a frown spreading across her face.

He seemed nice for a colt, Twilight Sparkle thought. Too bad he didn't ask me to go to the hoofball game with him. I totally would have said yes.

About an hour later, Princess Celestia was wrapping up her meeting with Prinny, the principal of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. These monthly meetings helped keep Celestia informed of the day-to-day goings-on at the school.

"And lastly, we have Twilight Sparkle," Principal Prinny said.

Princess Celestia sighed. Here it comes... she thought. The faculty always seemed to have some sort of complaint against Celestia's personal student. It was probably because Celestia accepted Twilight as a student without getting their approval first.

"She's a very good student, but we're concerned about her social skills," Principal Prinny said. "She doesn't seem to interact well with the other students. In fact, whenever she's in a class that grades for participation, she does rather poorly."

"I am aware of this," Celestia said. "As I have explained before, I see no reason why a magic school should grade for participation. How much a pony talks in class has nothing to do with her ability to cast spells."

"That's not all," Principal Prinny said. "After charting Twilight Sparkle's grades over the past several years, we can see a distinct pattern."

"And what is that?" Celestia asked, curious.

"Male teachers," Principal Prinny said. "She does poorly in classes with male teachers. I've talked with a few of them, and they tell me that Twilight Sparkle refuses to speak in their classes."

"So she's a little shy around stallions," Princess Celestia said. "That's perfectly normal—"

"Normal for six-year-olds," Principal Prinny said. "Not grown adults. And I get the sense that she's not merely shy around stallions; she is deadly afraid of stallions."

"Aren't you exaggerating just a little bit?" Celestia asked. "I'm sure that she's not that afraid of colts."

"She accidentally set a classroom on fire, when one of her male classmates unexpectedly touched her shoulder," Principal Prinny said. "She screamed once, when one of her male teachers called on her, out of the blue. And when we were doing square dancing in gym, she ran away and hid so she wouldn't have to get close to any colts."

Princess Celestia smiled. If she had to do square dancing in gym class, she would run away too.

"I will make sure to deal with this problem," Princess Celestia assured Principal Prinny. "After all, I am personally responsible for Twilight Sparkle."

She thanked Principal Prinny for his time. As the Principal left the audience room, Princess Celestia's next visitors came inside. These visitors were members from the Summer Sun Celebration committee.

"Your highness, we have finished investigating the possible sites for this year's Summer Sun Celebration," said the leader of the committee. "Manehatten would be the best choice, although Hoofington claims to have a larger budget, and—"

Celestia paid little attention, as he droned on. The Summer Sun Celebration had been held in Manehatten for the past forty years, due to the fact that everyone on the committee lived in Manehatten. And since Celestia knew what the committee would say, she let her mind wander.

The first thing she thought of was her student, Twilight Sparkle. Principal Prinny had been completely correct in his assessment of Twilight Sparkle's poor social skills. Twilight had promised to try harder to meet new ponies in the future, but apparently, she had been unsuccessful.

But what could the princess do? She was Twilight's teacher and mentor, not her life coach. There was no way that Celestia could force Twilight Sparkle to meet other ponies. Could she?

The beginnings of a plan formed in Princess Celestia's mind...

"And in conclusion, we have unanimously decided that Manehatten should host the Summer Sun Celebration," the committee leader said. The other committee members nodded, satisfied. "Can we expect your approval?"

"No," Princess Celestia said.

"Ex-excuse me?" the committee leader asked.

"I've already made my decision," Princess Celestia said, in a kind, yet authoritative voice. "The Summer Sun Celebration will be in Ponyville this year. I'm putting my personal student, Twilight Sparkle, in charge of the project."

Poor Twilight Sparkle had enough problems on her own, without the help of scheming princesses, however. At the family dinner that night, it was obvious that Shining Armor was still the favorite child.

I'm not jealous, Twilight Sparkle thought to herself. I'm not jealous. My brother has a perfect life, and I'm not jealous.

"So now that my tour of duty in the Griffon Kingdom is over, I'm back here at Canterlot," Shining Armor said, bringing an end to the long story of his many adventures over the past few months.

"Why, that's wonderful, honey," his mother said happily.

"It sure is!" the father said. "A promotion, and you get to move back home!"

"Better yet, I hear that Captain Whitewings is planning on retiring in a year or two," Shining Armor said. "As second-in-command, I'll automatically take his place when that happens."

The proud parents clapped in joy, while Twilight Sparkle felt like throwing herself out the window. What was next? Shining Armor had a supermodel girlfriend?

"Well, now that you're back in town, we simply must have more of these family dinners," the mother said. "I want to hear all about your new life."

She didn't ask about my life, Twilight Sparkle thought. In fact, nopony has asked me a single thing all night. Some family.

"Sure," Shining Armor said. "That'd be perfect."

"How about next week?" the father asked.

"No good," Shining Armor said. "Next Friday, I have a date with my marefriend."

"Oh?" the mother asked. "And what does she do?"

"Her name is Fleur de Lis," Shining Armor said. "She's a model."

*BAM!*

Twilight Sparkle slammed her head against the table, hard. This caught everypony's attention, and for the first time that night, both parents looked at her.

"Are you okay?" the father asked.

"Yeah, I just...slipped," Twilight said.

Shining Armor blinked. "Sorry for hogging the conversation," he said. "What's been going on with you?"

"Oh...the usual..." Twilight Sparkle said. She gave a little half-laugh. "Still studying..."

"Do you have a job yet?"

"No..." Twilight said.

"A coltfriend?"

Twilight Sparkle felt her face grow hot. "I don't...I haven't...I don't have time for dates," she muttered.

"Why not?" the mother asked. "I'm sure you'd make a fine marefriend for somepony."

"Maybe you haven't been looking hard enough," the father said.

"Hey, we can't all be dating French supermodels, okay?!" Twilight Sparkle snapped. "Can we change the subject, please?"

The family was stunned into silence by Twilight Sparkle's outburst. She smiled awkwardly, then shrank down on her haunches. Where was a good teleportation spell when you needed one?

Twilight let out a huge sigh of frustration as she went into her room. There is no way that tonight could have been any more awkward, she thought.

To Twilight's surprise, Shining Armor came into the open doorway. Twilight thought Shining would have gone directly to his own room, after that disastrous dinner.

"Hey, Twilight," Shining Armor said. "I could tell something was bugging you at dinner, but I didn't want to mention it in front of Mom and Dad. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Twilight Sparkle lied.

"I can tell that's not true," Shining Armor said. "You can't fool me. I'm your BBBFF, remember?"

Twilight Sparkle sighed, then walked over to her brother and nuzzled him lovingly. "This is going to sound stupid," she said. "You know I love you and everything, but...I'm really jealous of you."

"Jealous of me?" Shining Armor asked. "Why would you be jealous?"

"You have a perfect life," Twilight Sparkle said. "Everypony loves you, you get to do all these interesting things, and meanwhile, all I've been doing is studying."

"But you love studying," Shining Armor said.

"I do," Twilight Sparkle said. "But sometimes, I wish I could be you. Your life is great, and mine stinks."

Shining Armor rubbed his sister's hair. "Aw, come on, Twiley," he said. "Your life isn't so bad. I mean, you're Celestia's personal student! That's a pretty big deal."

"Mom and Dad don't seem to care," Twilight Sparkle said. "All they're interested in is the fact that you have another perfect marefriend, when I'm still single. Five years from now, I'll still be single, and you'll probably be married to a princess or something like that."

Shining Armor laughed. "Unlikely," he said. "But it's not a competition or anything. I'm not trying to show you up by getting better dates than you. You know that, right?"

Twilight said nothing.

Shining Armor didn't trust the look in her eyes. "Right?" he repeated. "I know Mom wants grandchildren, but—"

"That's not it," Twilight said. She felt her eyes start to tear up. "I...I've never been on a date."

Shining Armor looked shocked. "What?" he asked.

This was the wrong thing for Shining to say; Twilight began to cry in earnest now.

"All the other girls talk about colts all the time, and no colt will even so much as look at me!" Twilight cried. "I'm going to be all alone for the rest of my life!"

"Oh, Twiley," Shining said. He gave his sister a big hug, and he held her until she exhausted her tears. "I'm sure the perfect colt is out there, waiting for you."

"No he's not!" Twilight wailed. "They're all mean, or scared of me because of the Princess, or they don't like me because I can't talk to colts! It's impossible!"

"It's not impossible," Shining Armor said. "Remember your Prom? You were really nervous about getting a date then, but you found a nice colt to go with you."

Twilight sniffled loudly. "Spike is nice, but he's not a colt," she said.

"You took Spike to Prom?" Shining asked.

"Oh, that's right," Twilight Sparkle said. "I guess you weren't here when that happened."

"When what happened?" Shining asked. "I thought you asked that Thunder guy, or whatever his name was."

"I did," Twilight said. "I asked six stallions to go with me. All of them said no, I wasn't pretty enough, or no, I'm too much of an egghead, or no, he can't go because he's lactose intolerant, like that has anything to do with anything!"

Twilight slammed her hooves on the ground with anger. She took a deep breath and continued.

"Thunder was the one who said yes," Twilight said flatly. "Then, two hours before Prom, he sent me a letter saying he found somepony better than me to go with."

"What?" Shining Armor asked. "He turned you down at the last minute? That jerk! I think I'll send the castle guards to teach him a lesson about how to treat mares!"

"Forget it," Twilight said. "That was five years ago. I haven't seen him since."

Shining gritted his teeth, still mad on his sister's behalf. "Why didn't you tell me about this when it happened?" he asked. "I could have done...well, something to help you."

"I was embarrassed, okay?" Twilight asked, hanging her head low. "That was the closest thing I've ever had to a date, and it was a complete disaster."

"But like you said, that was years ago," Shining Armor said. "Haven't you asked anypony out since then?"

"No," Twilight said quietly. Asking stallions to go with her to Prom had been the most terrifying ordeal she had ever gone through, next to the entrance test to get into Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Twilight had no desire to repeat the experience ever, ever again.

"And...nopony has asked you out on a date?" Shining continued.

"No, of course not," Twilight said glumly.

"Well, that doesn't make sense," Shining said. "My little sister is so pretty and smart, I would have thought the stallions would be knocking down doors, trying to see her."

"Maybe knocking down doors, trying to get away from me," Twilight muttered.

For a moment, Twilight wondered if she should mention the colt who talked to her at school that day. He fit all of Twilight's requirements for the perfect coltfriend: he was cute, and nice, and most importantly, he was an actual colt who was willing to talk to her.

Twilight sighed. Who was she kidding? She'd never be able to date Alan...whatever his name was. No colt would ever date her. She was a failure.

"Look, just forget it," Twilight Sparkle said. "I'm a hopeless case. I'm no good with colts, and they're probably all scared of me, because I'm Princess Celestia's personal student. I should forget about dating and worry about studying."

Twilight walked over to her desk, where she picked up a letter from Princess Celestia, which had arrived earlier that day. It had something to do with the Summer Sun Celebration, but Twilight hadn't had a chance to read it yet. Celestia was the only—

"That does it," Shining Armor declared. "We'll make next Friday's dinner a double date."

"WHAT?" Twilight Sparkle asked. The letter from the Princess slipped from Twilight's magic and slid under the table.

"Me and Fleur, you with somepony else," Shining Armor said. "That way, if anything goes wrong, I'll be there to help you."

"You...you'd do that for me?" Twilight Sparkle asked. "You'd find me a date?"

"Sure, no problem," Shining Armor said. "I'm sure Fleur knows somepony who's around the same age as you."

"YES!" Twilight Sparkle cheered. She began jumping around in a circle. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Twilight Sparkle completely forgot about the letter from Princess Celestia. It would later get thrown out by accident, and Twilight wouldn't learn she was in charge of the Summer Sun Celebration until the day before it happened.

Chapter 2

The following Monday, Twilight saw Longsight Spellen in homeroom. She tossed her hair to the side to make her look attractive, then she approached him.

"Hey, Longsight," Twilight said, without a hint of nervousness. "How was the hoofball game?"

"Hi, Twilight," Longsight said. "It was a lot of fun! I wish you could have gone with me."

"Yeah, it's too bad I couldn't make it," Twilight said. She gave a half-laugh. "You know, family business."

Longsight looked at her earnestly. "I wanted to ask you to go with me, but I was nervous," he said. "I mean, you're so smart and pretty and all...I'm sure you already have a coltfriend."

"I've never had a coltfriend," Twilight said.

No, that wasn't right.

"I don't have a coltfriend right now," Twilight said.

Hmmm...that could be better.

Twilight laughed. "You're too nice, Longsight," she said. "But the truth is, I'm not seeing anypony right now."

There. Perfect.

"Really?" Longsight asked, looked excited. "Then...Twilight Sparkle, will you marry me?"

Okay, that's going overboard!

Twilight Sparkle shook her head. She was currently lying in her bed, imagining a conversation for her to have with Longsight when school resumed. She didn't do this often, but—oh, who was she kidding? She did this all the time. Pretty much every night, before she went to sleep, she thought up conversations for herself to have with other ponies.

It was nice, because the conversations were taking place in her imagination, so she could control them. Not once did she ever get tongue-tied or misunderstood. All the other ponies instantly liked her, and she had no problems expressing her emotions.

Unfortunately, since Twilight usually held imaginary conversations at night before going to sleep, she wasn't always sure where the conversations ended, and where the dreams began.

Twilight yawned and fell into a deep sleep.

*knock knock knock*

"Huh?"

*knock knock knock*

"Woah, somepony's at the door."

*knock knock knock*

Thunder Prancey got up from the couch, where he'd been sleeping. He scratched his stomach, which had little bits of food stuck to it, and he made his way to the door. He was surprised to see three fully-dressed guards waiting for him.

"Are you Thunder Prancey?" the guard in the middle asked.

"Woah," Thunder said. "Uh, yeah, that's me. Is there...is there a problem?"

Shining Armor, who was leading the two other guards, shook his head. "I want to talk to you about Twilight Sparkle," he said.

"Twilight...oh," Thunder said. He began to chuckle. "Princess Celestia's pet nerd?"

Shining scowled. "Yes, that's the mare I'm talking about," he said.

"Heh, I knew her several years ago," Thunder said. "The little bookworm thought she was good enough to take me to Prom. What a joke."

"Joke?"

"When she asked me, she was stumbling over the words and everything," Thunder said. "Shaking like a leaf. Hilarious, man. What a whackjob."

"But you agreed to go to Prom with her," the guard said.

"Is that what this is about?" Thunder said. "Dude, I dumped that ugly Twilight [bad word] like a sack of old potatoes, as soon as I found somepony hotter to go with. Not like that was hard, 'cause Twilight's the ugliest little [bad word] I've ever seen. Those stupid bangs—"

Thunder was interrupted when Shining Armor dashed forward and punched him in the face. "Don't talk about my sister that way!" Shining Armor shouted.

Shining Armor was brought in before his superior officer, no less than thirty minutes later. They met in the small blue room which was once a food pantry, but which was now used by the royal guard for interrogations. Shining imagined that the captain was trying to intimidate him by holding the meeting here.

"Disgraceful," Captain Whitewings said. "Just disgraceful. Attacking a helpless citizen like that."

"He deserved it," Shining Armor muttered.

"That makes no difference!" Whitewings said. "A member of the royal guard does not attack unarmed citizens!"

"But he insulted my sister!" Shining Armor said.

"I don't care if he insulted Princess Celestia!" Whitewings said.

"I would," a voice said dryly.

Whitewings turned to see the white-colored monarch standing behind him, looking rather serious.

"Your highness!" Captain Whitewings said. He saluted her.

Celestia waved him aside. "You are dismissed, Captain," she said. "I will take care of this situation personally."

Shining Armor felt a bead a sweat travel down his forehead. Princess Celestia's serious attitude scared him much more than Captain Whitewings. When the captain was gone, Celestia walked towards Shining Armor, her hooves echoing loudly in the room.

"I will give you a fair chance to explain," she said. "What happened?"

"Thank you, Princess," Shining Armor said. "It...it's true. I lost my temper today, and I attacked a citizen."

"Why?" Princess Celestia asked.

"Because he...he was...this is going to sound stupid..." Shining Armor said. "But he insulted my sister, Twilight Sparkle."

"I see," Princess Celestia said, coolly. "What did he say about her?"

"He said she was a joke," Shining said. "And he called her a [bad word] and a [bad word]."

Princess Celestia took a deep breath. It was not every day that somepony swore in her presence. "And why did he say such things?"

"Because he's a horrible pony, that's why!" Shining Armor said. "That's why I went to see him! To teach him a lesson about how to treat mares!"

"How to treat mares...I presume by 'mares', you mean your sister," Celestia said.

"Of course!" Shining Armor said. "You...you didn't see her last night! She was crying! Crying her heart out, over what this jerk did to her!"

Princess Celestia nodded. She had a good idea of what happened now. Shining Armor had taken his role as overprotective brother a bit too seriously.

"So you decided to take matters into your own hooves, and beat him senseless," Princess Celestia said.

"No!" Shining Armor said. "I wasn't planning on hurting him! I just wanted to, you know, intimidate him a little! But when he said those things about Twilight, I just sort of...lost it."

"That's not the only thing you lost today," Princess Celestia said coolly.

Shining Armor threw himself at Celestia's hooves. "Please, don't fire me!" he cried. "If I lose my job, I'll have nothing left! You can't—!"

"Do not worry," Princess Celestia said. "You have not lost your job, you have merely lost break privileges for a month."

"A...a month?" Shining Armor asked.

"That's right," Celestia said. "You won't have time for breaks anymore, because you'll be working kitchen duty."

Shining Armor wanted to complain, but didn't. Kitchen duty was a rather mundane task for ponies in the Royal Guard, but as a punishment, it was one of the lighter ones.

"Yes, Your Highness," he said.

"And of course, I'm going to have to tell Twilight about this," Princess Celestia said.

"Please don't," Shining Armor said. "You'll just upset her, and she told me not to meet with Thunder in the first place."

"She is smarter than you, it would seem," Princess Celestia said. "Dismissed, soldier."

Shining Armor gave his princess a half-hearted salute.

"I'm going to need Mareworth's Guide to Dating, Tailshake's Finding the Right Stallion for You, and a copy of Popular Singles magazine," Twilight Sparkle said. She used her magic to float the list of books to her personal assistant, Spike.

"Uh...any reason why you want these books?" Spike asked. "Usually you want books that are more, uh... booky."

"I have a date this Friday!" Twilight Sparkle said, squealing slightly. "So I have to prepare!"

"Aw, congratulations!" Spike said. "Is it with somepony I know?"

"Nope," Twilight Sparkle said. Even she didn't know who her date would be. Having her brother set up a blind date for her was such a great idea; it took away all the pressure of asking somepony herself. "Now get to it, Spike!"

"Will do!" Spike said, taking the list to the library catalog. Twilight watched him go, then smiled and thought to herself.

I have a date this Friday! Twilight Sparkle thought happily. This is great! Now I'll get to know why the other mares like dating so much!

Oh, but what if I do something wrong, without knowing it? Everypony else has at least three years of dating experience, and I have none. I'll probably make some kind of stupid, first-timer mistake, and my date will laugh at me.

He'll know! He'll be able to tell I have no idea what I'm doing, and he'll hate me for it! Or he'll make fun of me, or worse, he'll be a sicko who tries to trick me into doing something inappropriate!

No, wait. Shining Armor will be there. If my date ends up being a sicko, he can help protect me. Shining will stop him if he tries to kiss me or something like that.

...Is it pathetic that a grown mare has to rely on her brother to protect her? It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. I need my brother to get me dates and to protect me from them.

This is going to be a disaster. I don't know what I was thinking I can't talk to stallions!

I can learn! I have to learn! Otherwise, everything will be horrible!

Oh, who am I kidding? I've tried talking to stallions before, and it's always been a failure. Why should this time be any different?

...Because I'm not going to quit! This time, everything will be better! Right?

"Twilight!"

Twilight let out a small scream, and she almost fell over.

"Woah, are you okay?" Spike asked.

"I...you startled me," she said. "Did...did you get the books I asked for?"

"Not yet," Spike said. He waved a scroll at her. "You got a letter, and I thought you'd want to read that first."

"That's very considerate of you," Twilight said. She didn't need to ask who it was from; Princess Celestia was the only pony who sent Twilight messages. Twilight sat down on her haunches. "Please, read it."

Spike undid the royal seal, then opened the letter. "My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, today I have some personal matters to discuss with you," Spike read. "An incident came up, involving your brother and a stallion named Thunder Prancey. I do not know what Thunder did to hurt you, but Shining Armor—hey!"

Twilight used her magic to take the scroll out of Spike's hands. "I think I'll read this letter by myself," she said. "Personal matters, you know."

"But who's Thun—?"

"Mind your own business!" Twilight said loudly. "Now get my books!"

Spike almost fell over in fright. "Okay! Okay! Sorry!" he said.

Twilight didn't even notice the effect she had on Spike, as all her attention was focused on the letter from Princess Celestia. Her eyes narrowed as she kept reading, and she let out loud scream of frustration.

"Jeez, must be some letter," Spike muttered to himself. He hadn't heard Twilight scream that loudly since the time she learned one of her library books was overdue.

The doors to the kitchen were flung open. Shining Armor, who was busy peeling potatoes, looked in surprise at his visitor.

"How could you?!" Twilight Sparkle shouted. "I thought you were my friend!"

"Twiley, I can explain—" Shining Armor said.

"I told you to forget about Thunder!" Twilight said. "I haven't seen him for five years! I'm over him by now!"

"It's all a big misunderstand—"

"But you decided to ignore what I said!" Twilight said. "Guess I'm not that important to you, after all!"

"You are important to—"

"You beat him up?" Twilight asked. "Did you expect me to be proud of you? How petty do you think I am?"

"That's not what happened at all!" Shining Armor said. "Let me explain! When I went to see Thunder, I never expected it would end in a fight."

"Really," Twilight said, her voice full of disbelief.

"Really," Shining Armor said. "I went there, because I wanted to know why he stood you up at Prom."

"I told you, I'm over that now," Twilight said. "It's been five years!"

"You are not over it," Shining Armor. "You were crying about it last night!"

"And that's another thing!" Twilight said. "You told the Princess that I cried? Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to getting a letter from her, asking about that?"

"She did that?" Shining Armor asked. "Aw, man, I asked her not to."

"Yeah, well, some ponies obviously don't do what they're told," Twilight said, crossing her forelegs.

"The only reason I went to see Thunder was to ask him about what happened," Shining Armor said. "But when he started making fun of you and cussing you out, I just sort of...lost control."

"He cussed me out?" Twilight asked.

"He said some really horrible things," Shining Armor confirmed. "And I don't care who it is, because nopony says that kind of stuff about my sister and gets away with it."

"Shining, I—rrrrgh!" Twilight said. "Look, it's nice that you want to look out for me, but I'm not a little foal anymore. I don't need my brother to fight my battles for me!"

"I know you're all grown up, but you're always be my baby sister," Shining Armor said. He moved in to hug her.

"Hey, no fair being adorable!" Twilight Sparkle said. "I'm trying to be mad at you!"

But she hugged her big brother, anyway. The two of them never had a single fight when they were growing up; there was no way they would start fighting now.

"...So why did he stand me up at Prom?" Twilight asked.

"He's a jerk who's no good for anypony, especially not a wonderful mare like you," Shining Armor said. "I promise that the pony I find for your date on Friday will be nothing like him."

"I..." Twilight kicked the ground and said, "I kind of have a stallion in mind already..."

"That's great!" Shining Armor said. "Who is he?"

"I'm not going to tell you!" Twilight said. "Knowing you, you'll probably go to his house and beat him up if he says no!"

"That is so not funny," Shining Armor said.

By the time Monday came around, Twilight regretted telling Shining Armor about her kind-of crush on Longsight Spellen. Now her brother expected her to talk to him, even though she wasn't prepared at all.

Steady breathing, Twilight thought. Steady breathing. Remember what the books said. Colts like mares who are intelligent, confident and exuberant.

Step by step, Twilight slowly made her way towards Longsight. "Hello!" she said, in what she hoped was an intelligent way.

Longsight didn't respond.

Twilight's face fell. "Hello?" Twilight asked, in a not-very-confident way.

Longsight remained turned away from Twilight, as if he didn't hear her at all. She bit her lip, debating whether or not to give up and try again tomorrow. The logician in her quickly pointed out that she had yet to try the exuberant mare technique.

"HEY, YOU!" Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs.

Longsight almost fell over, and turned around to face her, an angry look on his face.

That got his attention! Twilight thought happily. Success!

"Ow! Don't yell into my ears!" Longsight complained.

A mare stepped out from behind Longsight. "Yeah, don't shout indoors!"

Twilight frowned. Oh...he was talking to somepony. That's why he didn't hear me...

"I'm...sorry..." Twilight said. "I just...I wanted to...you know...talk about the...the sport with the balls and the hooves..."

"Do you mean hoofball?" Longsight asked.

"Yeah!" Twilight said, relief flooding her body. "You went to a hoofball game, right? How was it?"

"It was great," Longsight said. He wrapped his arm around the mare next to him. "I went with Twinkle here."

"And I'm so glad he asked me," Twinkle said. "We're going steady now."

"Steady?" Twilight asked, confused.

"She means we're together," Longsight explained.

"I can see you standing together," Twilight said. "That's kind of obvious."

"No, we're marefriend and coltfriend," Longsight said.

"We are?" Twilight gasped loudly. "But...but I don't know you that well yet! The book says that in order—"

"Twilight, I'm his marefriend," Twinkle said in a somewhat possessive voice.

"Oh," Twilight said. "Oh. Oh. Oh..." Her ears flattened along her head.

"So, is that it?" Longsight asked. "You wanted to know about the hoofball game?"

"Never mind..." Twilight said. She walked away sadly, feeling very dumb, insecure and not at all exuberant.

Dear Shining Armor,

On second thought, you should go ahead and find a date for me on Friday, after all. The colt I was going to ask is...busy.

Your sister,
Twilight

Chapter 3

Well, that was a failure. Just like every other time I've liked a colt.

Maybe I should just stop liking colts all together. It never ends well. Whenever I think I'm getting it right for once, I mess it all up.

The worst part is that I've ruined my relationship with Longsight, and there never was any relationship between us. We only talked once! It was all just me being hopeful.

I should stop hoping and be realistic. I'm never going to have a coltfriend. I'll probably never even have a colt as a friend.

...I wish I had friends.

I'm so lonely. Maybe that's why I want a coltfriend so badly. Maybe if I could find one colt who really likes me, it'd make up for the fact that everypony else in the world ignores me.

Twilight Sparkle was thinking these and other sad thoughts, as she watched Longsight Spellen cozy up to his marefriend, Twinkle Sprinkle. It was obvious that he liked her for more than just her name.

Wonder what it'd be like if a colt cared a lot about me...

*Bam! Bam!*

Twilight (and everypony else in the room) snapped to attention, when somepony loudly smashed their hoof against the door to the room.

"Who is it?" the homeroom teacher asked tentatively.

"Where is she?!" a voice from the hallway shouted. The pounding on the doors continued, until the two doors burst open, and an angry pony jumped in. His mane was wild, his head was covered in wounds, and he smelled strongly of cider. He let out a growl, as he scanned the room.

"This is the 'S' Homeroom, right?" he asked. "That Twilight Sparkle [bad word] should be here!"

Most of the ponies in the room looked directly at Twilight, who shrank down in her seat. She hadn't seen this wild colt in years, but unless she was mistaken, it was Thunder Prancey. Twilight let out a small shriek as his gaze settled on her.

"YOU!" he bellowed. He ran to Twilight's desk and slammed his hooves on top of it. "You ruined my life!"

"Now, see here—" the teacher began to say.

"My marefriend broke up with me today, because of your stupid brother!" Thunder said. "I can't believe you sent him after me! Well, I'm gonna send you to the hospital, you fat b—!"

Two of the stallions in the class jumped in and restrained Thunder, pulling him away from Twilight. Twilight was trembling like a leaf, under Thunder's verbal assault.

"I-I-I-I," Twilight said, her teeth chattering.

"You can't even talk," Thunder said. "You're pathetic!"

"Leave her alone!" Longsight Spellen said, sticking up for his classmate. "Shut your mouth, whoever you are! You can't just come in here and attack Twilight!"

"What, you like her?" Thunder laughed. "No! Nopony would ever like such a worthless, ugly, know-it-all loser with no friends! She—"

Thunder's tirade was cut off when Twilight got out of her seat and punched him as hard as she could.

Twilight held her head in her hooves, as she waited outside Principal Prinny's office. A college student, getting sent to the Principal's Office? Twilight probably would have died from embarrassment, if she wasn't so worried about what was going to happen to her.

Mom and Dad are going to kill me! I'll be disowned from the family! I'll become homeless and wander the streets!

Maybe I can move in with Shining Armor. "Hello, Twilight. How was your day?" "Oh, not bad, bro. I just got kicked out of school for fighting in homeroom!"

In Twilight's defense, Thunder had started the fight by breaking into the school and yelling at her. But she had been the first pony to throw a punch. Not to mention the fact that she said some pretty nasty things while beating Thunder senseless.

What's taking them so long? Twilight wondered. The secretary said that my parents have been in there for ten minutes already!

It wasn't until two minutes later that the door to the principal's office opened. "You can come in now, Twilight," Principal Prinny said.

Twilight walked inside, with all the enthusiasm of a sick sloth. When she saw the inside of the room, she froze up.

"Princess Celestia?" Twilight asked.

Princess Celestia nodded, an upset look on her face.

I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm deader than dead! Celestia's going to banish me to the moon!

"I...I thought Mom and Dad..." Twilight squeaked out.

"I normally would have asked your parents to come, but I asked the Princess instead," Principal Prinny said. "After all, she is responsible for your presence here in the school, and besides, Princess Celestia must be informed whenever we have a major disciplinary problem at her school."

Major...disciplinary...

Twilight threw herself at Princess Celestia's hooves. "Please don't expel me!" she cried. "I love going to school here! My life would be over if I got kicked out! Please don't—!"

"Twilight..."

"I'll pay double tuition! I'll work as a teacher here for the next fifty years!"

"Twilight..."

"I can restart school from the beginning! I'll go all the way back to Magic Kindergarten, even! Just don't let me—!"

"Twilight Sparkle!" Princess Celestia said, using the Royal Canterlot Voice to get Twilight's attention. Twilight immediately stopped crying and looked up, fear on every inch of her face.

"Several ponies have already told me what happened," Celestia said. "I want to hear your side of the story, before I decide what to do."

"Oh...okay," Twilight said. She gulped and got off of the floor. "Well, I was in homeroom like everypony else, when Thunder broke into the room, screaming about how he was going to hurt me."

"This is the same Thunder who made you cry the other day?" Celestia asked softly.

Twilight's face burned red hot. Why had Shining Armor mentioned that to the Princess? It made her look incredibly immature!

"Yes," Twilight said in a small voice.

"Thunder Prancey is not a student at our school," Principal Prinny said. "From what we can tell, he came here explicitly for the purposes of finding you. He claims it is because of somepony named Shanormour."

"Shining Armor," Princess Celestia corrected. "Twilight's brother. Three days ago, he and Mr. Prancey were in a fight together."

"I see," Principal Prinny said. He made a note on a piece of paper. "Please, continue, Miss Sparkle. How did you feel when Thunder entered the room?"

"Surprised?" Twilight said. "Confused? I haven't seen him in years. Not since..."

Twilight fell silent. "Yes?" Celestia asked.

"...He stood me up at Prom," Twilight said softly.

Celestia's eyebrows raised. Shining Armor hadn't mentioned that particular fact. He had just said he was defending Twilight's honor.

"So you held a grudge against him," Principal Prinny said. "And when you saw him, you became mad and attacked."

"No!" Twilight said. "That's not how it happened! I didn't want to fight anypony!"

"According to all the witnesses, Twilight was sitting in her seat the whole time, when Thunder started verbally abusing her," Celestia said. "He didn't stop, even when he was physically restrained."

"Regardless, she was the one who resorted to physical violence, not him," the principal said.

"Who was the first pony to throw a punch?" Celestia asked.

"...Me," Twilight said. She hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry."

Princess Celestia closed her eyes in thought for a moment. "I have one more question," she said at last.

"Yes?" Twilight asked hesitantly.

"What brought all this up?" Celestia asked. "You say you haven't seen Thunder in years. Why would he reappear in your life, after all this time?"

Twilight's ears flattened. "This is going to sound stupid..." she said. "But...my brother and I have a double date on Friday."

"And?" Principal Prinny asked.

"And Thunder's name came up, because he was the only other pony who agreed to go out with me," Twilight said. "Now, I just wish I had never met him."

"Perfectly understandable," Princess Celestia said. "Thank you for answering our questions, Twilight. I believe I can make my decision."

"Yes?" Principal Prinny asked.

"Thunder Prancey broke into our school, for the purposes of hurting Twilight Sparkle," Princess Celestia said. "He went far out of his way, in order to attack her. Therefore, Twilight's actions were clearly done in self-defense, and she should not be punished for them."

"I'm not being expelled?" Twilight asked, jumping to her hooves.

"Ridiculous!" Principal Prinny said. "She was fighting in homeroom! Such actions must be punished, no matter what the circumstances are!"

"Twilight Sparkle is the victim here," Princess Celestia said. "Thunder has a history of hurting her. I will not allow her to suffer any further."

"Thank you! Thank you!" Twilight said. She threw herself at the Princess' hooves again. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"This is against school policy!" Prinny said. "Brawling on school property is punishable by expulsion!"

Princess Celestia leaned down to Twilight. "You can go back to class now, Twilight," she said. "Principal Prinny and I have some things to discuss. We'll talk later, okay?"

Twilight nodded enthusiastically and sprinted from the room, before Principal Prinny could override the Princess' decision. Cheering could be heard from the hallway, as Celestia shut the door behind Twilight.

The Principal immediately turned on his employer and sovereign. "You're bending the rules for your personal favorite again!" he said. "I won't allow it!"

"As usual, you are being unfairly biased against Twilight," Princess Celestia said. "I think this situation completely disproves what you said on Friday."

"What are you talking about?" Prinny asked.

Celestia smiled. "Twilight Sparkle can deal with stallions after all," she said.

Seven miles away from the school, Shining Armor was having a lunch date with his marefriend, Fleur de Lis. Some of his friends said that he was only dating her for her looks, but that wasn't true. Shining honestly liked Fleur, even if he felt she was a little clingy, and so he did not hesitate to ask her for help with planning the double date.

"Twilight wants to come along with us on Friday," Shining Armor explained. "But I don't know anypony she could go with. Could you find a date for her?"

"Oui!" Fleur said. "A date with you, and a chance to meet your family? It sounds magnifique!"

"This is Twilight's first date," Shining Armor said. "So that means—"

Fleur giggled slightly. "First date?" she asked. "Twilight is a young one, yes?"

"Not really," Shining said. "Twilight is legally an adult now, but...ah, that doesn't matter. Just make sure it's somepony nice, okay? Twilight is nervous, and we don't want to frighten her."

"I have the perfect pony in mind," Fleur said. She kissed Shining Armor on the lips. "You are such a considerate brother."

"And you are such a beautiful marefriend," Shining said.

The two of them alternated between complimenting and kissing each other, doing the sort of mushy, romantic thing which terrified Twilight Sparkle (and made her slightly jealous, too). Eventually, to the relief of everypony nearby, Shining had to leave Fleur and return to his job.

When Shining told Twilight that Fleur would take care of everything, Twilight was very glad to have it confirmed that all of the pressure of asking somepony would be taken off of her. She wisely decided not to tell her brother about the fight in school that day.

Twenty minutes later, Princess Celestia arrived at the castle for her lunch date. She was meeting with her favorite niece, Princess Cadance.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Princess Celestia said. "There was an emergency at the academy."

"I understand," Cadance said. "What happened?"

"Do you remember Twilight Sparkle?" Princess Celestia asked.

"Of course!" Cadance said happily. "She was my favorite foal to sit for! I haven't seen her in years, though. How is she?"

"She got in trouble today, for punching somepony at her school," Celestia said.

Cadance gasped. "Not my innocent little Twilight!" she said.

Celestia laughed. "She's all grown up now," she said. "Grown up and giving black eyes to stallions."

"What happened?" Cadance asked.

"It's a long story, from what I can tell," Celestia said. "Apparently, somepony stood Twilight up at Prom five years ago."

"That's horrible!" Princess Cadance said. An angry look covered her face, as she flared her wings. "As the Princess of Love, I can say that—"

"Calm yourself, Cadance," Celestia said. "I'm not finished yet."

"Of course," Princess Cadance said, settling down. "I...I can't believe somepony would do that to Twilight! She was such a darling little foal!"

"Shining Armor had much the same reaction as you did," Celestia said. "When he learned about it, he went straight to the colt's house and beat him senseless."

"Oh, dear," Cadance said. She had always liked Shining Armor, but that sounded far too violent for her tastes. "That doesn't sound like him at all."

"Shining apparently gets very upset when somepony makes his sister cry," Celestia said. "And by all accounts, Thunder Prancey is a very bad pony. Today, he broke into the school, intent on getting revenge by beating up Twilight."

"That's terrible," Cadance said. "What happened?"

"Twilight stood her ground and fought back," Celestia said. "Principal Prinny wanted to expel her, but I convinced him otherwise. She was clearly acting in self-defense."

"I see..." Cadance said. She let out a breath. "Wow. Sounds like Twilight sure got over her shyness problem. I remember when she refused to talk to the other fillies, because she was scared."

Celestia frowned. "Twilight still has problems dealing with other ponies," she said.

"Of course she does, if she's getting into fights," Cadance said. "I just meant, it's a surprise to learn she's grown up and having colt problems." The pink princess smiled. "Maybe I could give her some romantic advice!"

"Hmmm..." Celestia said, rubbing her chin. "Not a bad idea..."

Cadance's smile disappeared. "That was a joke, Aunt Celestia," she said.

"I know, but still," Celestia said. "It's something to keep in mind. She apparently has an important date this week."

Twilight Sparkle spent the next days, wondering what her first date would be like. Shining Armor said it would be a simple dinner date, at a nice restaurant. Twilight spent a good deal of time, thinking about what might happen.

After the date, she would spend even more time, wondering how things went wrong. Eventually, she decided that the horrendous disaster was all Fleur's fault. Fleur de Lis was not a smart pony to begin with, in Twilight's opinion, and there was a minor language barrier, because she came from another country.

Still, Twilight decided, she should have understood basic pronoun construction!

Twilight had a point. Fleur's grasp of English would shortly result in problems, as Fleur strolled through town, humming to herself.

"So, Twilight needs a date," Fleur said. "Twilight...Twilight...that is a boy's name, non? I will find nice mare for him."

Fleur didn't know too many ponies in Canterlot, but she knew a unicorn named Trixie Lulamoon. Trixie had a penchant for magic, and Fleur figured that she was a perfect match for Shining Armor's scholarly little brother. Fleur asked Trixie if she wanted to go on a blind date that Friday.

Trixie said yes, with a minor caveat. Trixie was currently working as a stage magician, and she had a show to perform that night, opening for a comedian named Zach Galicenokis. The show would be done at six, so they could pick her up then and go out to dinner afterwards.

"Matchmaking is so much fun!" Fleur said (although she said it in French). "Love will be in bloom, when Twilight sweeps Trixie off her feet!"

Author's Note

Educational fact: the galiceno is a type of horse, native to Mexico.

Chapter 4

That Friday, shortly before six, Fleur, Shining Armor and Twilight all walked into the lobby of the Golden Dome Theater. Shining Armor was wearing a snazzy-looking suit and tie, which went fabulously with Fleur's sparkling sequined dress.

Twilight was somewhat jealous of the supermodel's outfit, to be honest. It made Twilight's outfit look rather bad by comparison. Twilight didn't have any special clothes for going out with other ponies, as the fanciest place she ever visited was Pony Joe's. So she was stuck wearing the only dress she owned: a small purple piece which she got from her grandmother, three years ago. To be honest, it looked more like a sports jersey than an actual dress.

"Here we are!" Fleur said happily.

"This isn't a restaurant..." Twilight said quietly. She was a bit unsure how to act around Fleur, to be honest. How do you treat your big brother's marefriend?

"Zis is where we will pick up your date!" Fleur said. "During the intermission."

"Who is he?" Twilight asked.

"You'll recognize your date by the moon-shaped cutie mark," Fleur promised.

The three unicorns opened the doors and peeked into the main theater, just in time to catch the end of the show.

"And for her final trick, the Great Trixie will lift a forty-pound barbell!" a loud voice said.

The light blue unicorn onstage used her magic to lift up a barbell. There was applause from one or two ponies in the audience.

"Not impressive enough? Well, what if instead of forty pounds, it weighed forty tons?" the Great Trixie said. She used her magic to turn the barbell into a large elephant. She still managed to keep the elephant up in the air, and she moved it all over the crowd.

Everypony was impressed with this, and they applauded loudly, as Trixie bowed, threw her hat to the audience, then left the stage.

"Let's hear it for the Great Trixie!" an announcer said, coming onstage. "And now, we're going to have a brief, ten minute intermission, before the real show starts. Feel free to get some drinks or walk around—"

Most of the ponies in the audience got up to go to the lobby. Fleur and Shining went to the lobby to get a drink, while Twilight stayed by the door. She watched all the ponies pass her by, looking for a stallion with a moon-shaped cutie mark. As time passed, the lavender unicorn's back legs started twitching in nervousness, but she managed to keep a fake smile on her face.

Four minutes after the show ended, Trixie left the backstage area and came to the lobby doors. Her cape had been exchanged for a form-fitting, dark blue cocktail dress.

"Excuse me," Trixie said to Twilight Sparkle. "You're blocking the doorway!"

"Oops, sorry," Twilight said, as she stepped aside. "I was just looking for—hey, you're the magician who was onstage!"

"That's right," Trixie said. "I am the Great Trixie, magician extraordinaire! I trust you enjoyed the performance?"

"I only saw the last trick, where you turned the barbell into a hollow elephant," Twilight said.

Trixie's eyes widened. Somepony saw through her trick? "What?" she asked. "How did you—?"

"That was a pretty clever way to make ponies think you were lifting something heavy," Twilight said. "How'd you think of that?"

"I—a magician never reveals her secrets!" Trixie said.

"Don't worry," Twilight said. "Your secret's safe with me. Besides, I don't think anypony else noticed."

Trixie scowled and stomped a hoof on the ground. "Oh, who cares?" Trixie said, irritated. "You didn't come here for my magic show. You probably came to see the comedian, didn't you?"

"Nope! I'm on a date!" Twilight said proudly.

"My sympathies to your date, then," Trixie said. "He must be a very unlucky stallion. As it turns out, though, I have a date as well, and I can't miss it because of magical nitpickers like you."

"Uh...okay..." Twilight said meekly. "Sorry for bothering you."

Twilight stayed by the doorway, but nopony else came nearby. After waiting a few more minutes, Twilight frowned and went back to the lobby, in case her date was waiting there. To Twilight's surprise, Fleur and Shining Armor were talking with Trixie.

"Ah, here he is now!" Fleur said, as Twilight approached.

Trixie took one look at Twilight, then turned back to Fleur. "I don't see him anywhere."

Shining Armor paled. "Wait, Fleur..." he said. "Are you saying that—?"

Fleur grabbed Twilight's hoof and pulled her towards Trixie. "Twilight, meet Trixie. She's your date for tonight!"

"Whaaaaaat?" Twilight and Trixie shouted.

"Twilight is your date!" Fleur said.

"But she—I—" Trixie stammered.

"Is this some sort of joke?" Shining asked.

"I can't date her! We're both mares!" Twilight said.

Fleur looked surprised. "You're a mare?" she asked. "But Twilight is a boy's name!"

"No it's not!" Twilight said.

"But you have boyish bangs," Fleur said. "And that hoofball jersey you're wearing..."

"It's a dress!" Twilight said hotly. Trixie snickered a bit at this, causing Twilight to glare at her.

Shining Armor was rubbing his forehead. "Fleur, I can assure you that my sister Twilight is definitely a mare."

"Oh," Fleur said. "I'm sorry. I thought...I thought I was supposed to get a date for your brother."

"Ah, jeez..." Shining Armor said. "Of all the ridiculous..."

Fleur rubbed the back of her neck and chuckled apologetically. "Sorry?" she said.

"I don't believe this!" Trixie said.

Twilight let out a huge sigh. Great. My first date is over, before it even started. Just like at Prom. Why did I expect that tonight would be anything other than a disaster?

"I...I guess I'll just go home..." Twilight said sadly. "You and Fleur can go on to the restaurant without us."

"What? Oh, no you don't!" Trixie said.

"Huh?" Twilight asked.

"You are not backing out of this date that easily!" Trixie hissed.

Twilight's face flushed red, as Trixie pulled her aside a few feet, out of hearing distance of the other two unicorns.

"You...want to date me?" Twilight asked, her voice little more than a squeak. "But...I don't like mares...in that way..."

"Me, neither," Trixie said. "I like stallions. In fact, I've probably had more coltfriends than you can count."

Twilight wasn't sure if she should be relieved, jealous or offended. She settled for being confused. "Then, why do you want to—?"

"I was promised a free meal, at one of my favorite restaurants," Trixie said. "I've been looking forward to this for days! You're not going to cheat me out of it!"

"Wait...you want to date me, so you can get free food?" Twilight asked.

"If there's no date, we don't eat," Trixie said. "You don't want us to starve, do you?"

"Trixie, was it?" Twilight asked. Trixie nodded in response. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this. This was going to be my first date ever, and—"

"How old are you?" Trixie asked.

Twilight's face flushed again. "That's not important—" she said.

"Look, it's not like this is a date date," Trixie said. "We're just...two friends, having a meal together."

"But five minutes ago, you were yelling at me for figuring out your magic trick," Twilight said, nodding her head towards the doors to the theater.

"Pah, ancient history by now," Trixie said, dismissively waving her hoof. "Are you going to help or not?"

"Well...I am hungry..." Twilight said. And no matter what, it would be interesting for her to see her brother and Fleur interact together. That'd give her an idea of how normal ponies acted when they were on dates.

"Perfect!" Trixie said. She turned towards Shining Armor and Fleur. "Let's go to the restaurant!" she said happily.

At that exact moment, Princess Celestia was in Ponyville's main square. Most of the town's residents showed up for this meeting.

"I am pleased to present her royal highness, Princess Celestia!" Mayor Mare said. "And with her is the pony in charge of the Summer Sun Celebration, her personal student, Twilight Sparkle!"

Everypony clapped for the Princess, except for the ponies who bowed to her.

"Hello, everypony," Princess Celestia said. "It's nice to see you all, but I'm afraid that there has been a minor mistake. Twilight Sparkle is not here with me tonight."

"She isn't?" Mayor Mare asked. "Where is she?"

"She...she is on a date tonight," Princess Celestia said. Needless to say, the monarch had been overjoyed when she first heard that Twilight Sparkle had a date with a colt, despite her inability to deal with colts.

"And she couldn't cancel the date to her job?" Mayor Mare asked critically.

The crowd starting to giggle softly.

"I didn't ask her to," Princess Celestia said. "The truth is, I think this is her first date ever."

The crowd's giggling subsided, except for a certain pink pony. She burst into loud laughter, after hearing about Twilight's first date.

"Pinkie Pie, do you have something to say?" the mayor asked, sternly.

Pinkie didn't seem to be paying attention, so Applejack hit her lightly on the side.

"Hey! Applejack!" Pinkie Pie said. "That hurt—!"

"Applejack?" the mayor asked.

"Oh, um, Applejack and I volunteer to help with the party!" Pinkie Pie said. "I can throw the party, and Applejack can provide the food!"

"I don't think—" the mayor began to say.

"That sounds like a fine idea," Princess Celestia said. "I'm sure you will do a good job with this year's Summer Sun Celebration. Thank you very much for volunteering. Do we have anypony who will volunteer to help with decorations?"

The meeting went on, and Princess Celestia helped pick out the ponies who would help with the event. She only picked mares around the age of Twilight Sparkle. More importantly, she picked mares who seemed to embody the Elements of Harmony.

Nopony seemed to object to the princess' selections, except when she picked Fluttershy to be in charge of music. The mayor didn't think a shy pony like Fluttershy could do a good job, but the princess insisted. If Celestia was correct—and of course, she was—Fluttershy could easily wield the Element of Kindness.

This is perfect, Princess Celestia thought to herself, as she went back to Canterlot. Twilight Sparkle will spend the next six months, working with those mares. They'll become good friends in that time, and their friendship will be powerful enough to let them save my sister from Nightmare Moon!

...I wonder how her date went?

Trixie and Twilight, were sitting next to each other in a booth. Twilight was against the wall, while Trixie had the aisle seat. On the other side of the table were Shining Armor and Fleur. The two of them were making kissy faces at each other and giggling.

"I don't believe this..." Twilight moaned.

Trixie looked at their boothmates in disgust. "Me, neither," she said. "I wish they'd stop. Other ponies are starting to stare."

Twilight cast a glance at the other ponies in the restaurant. The only pony looking at the group was a pink unicorn from across the room. Something about the pony seemed familiar to Twilight, but from this distance, Twilight wasn't sure why.

Of course, if Twilight had gotten much closer to the pink pony, she would have instantly recognized her. It was Princess Cadance.

I still can't believe Aunt Celestia convinced me to come here and spy on Twilight... Princess Cadance thought to herself. Oh well. At least the food is good.

Twilight shook her head and refocused her attention on the conversation.

"Of course, ponies are always staring at the Great Trixie," Trixie said. "I am a fabulous magician, after all."

Twilight thought to herself. The books she read said that one of the keys to a good date was to talk about things you and your partner had in common. A discussion about magic seemed like the perfect conversation starter with Trixie.

"I'm pretty good at magic, too," Twilight said proudly. "I've been the valedictorian at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, five years in a row."

"Nerd!" Trixie said, pretending to cough into her napkin.

Twilight's face fell. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"Nothing," Trixie said quickly. "So tell me, Study Bug. You said this was your first date ever? That's hard to believe."

Twilight frowned. She had the distinct impression Trixie was making a fool out of her.

"Unlike you, the Great Trixie is no stranger to dating," Trixie said. "I have had many handsome coltfriends during my life!"

"Then why did you agree to go on a blind date tonight?" Twilight asked.

Trixie coughed in midair, and her eyes bulged out slightly.

"Are you okay?" Twilight asked.

"...I'm fine," Trixie said, gaining her composure. "I...I just got out of a bad relationship, okay?"

"Oh," Twilight said. "I'm sorry. Did he break up with you, because you talk about yourself too much? It's kind of annoying."

Trixie raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "You really don't know how to deal with other ponies, do you?" she asked.

"...Not really..." Twilight admitted. "But...you can help me, right?"

"I'm a magician, not a miracle worker," Trixie said. "Ask your brother for help."

Twilight gestured towards her brother and Fleur. The two of them were giggling like fillies, while sword-fighting with their horns.

"On second thought, maybe not," Trixie said. She sighed. "Okay, if this was a real date, the colt would probably..."

For the next ten minutes, Trixie gave Twilight some dating tips. The first one was about complimenting your date. After Twilight wrote that down in her notebook, Trixie explained why you shouldn't bring a pen and paper with you on a date, so you can take notes. Twilight didn't understand the reasoning behind that, but she wrote it down anyway.

All in all, Twilight thought things were going rather well, considering the minor gender mishap. Things quickly went downhill about two minutes after the food was delivered, though. A screaming stallion that nopony wanted to see interrupted the date.

"TRIXIIIIIIIIIE!" he cried.

"Oh, no," Trixie said, turning pale.

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

"It's my ex-coltfriend," Trixie said.

A somewhat-drunken pony blundered through the restaurant, coming to the booth were Trixie was. "Trixie, come back!" he said.

Twilight gasped, as she recognized this pony. "Thunder Prancey?!" Twilight asked.

Shining Armor slammed his hooves on the table in front of him. "What's he doing here?" he asked.

"You know him?" Trixie asked.

"Baby, you gotta take me back!" Thunder said. "I miss you!"

"Thunder, I dumped you on Sunday!" Trixie said. "Get over it!"

"NO! I'll never move on!" Thunder said. "I love you Triiiiiixie! And you..."

Thunder blinked, as he noticed Twilight Sparkle. An evil frown crossed his face. "Is that Twilight?" he asked. "What's that dumb [bad word] doing here?"

"Don't talk about my date like that!" Trixie said.

"DATE?" Thunder asked, almost falling over.

By this point, most of the ponies in the restaurant had noticed the disturbance Thunder was creating. First among these was Princess Cadance. She stood up straight, sensing that she was needed.

"A fight between two ponies who love each other?" Cadance wondered. "Well, I can't let that ruin everypony's evening!"

Cadance charged up her famous love magic, which causes ponies to realize their love for reach other. A heart came out of her horn and floated towards the booth with Twilight and the other unicorns. The heart landed right on target, hitting both Trixie and Thunder .

"I looooove you," Thunder moaned.

"Don't listen to him," Twilight said, grabbing Trixie's shoulder. "He's a jerk!"

Trixie turned to look at Twilight. Trixie's pupils disappeared, and they were replaced with large pink hearts, as she stared at Twilight.

"Trixie?" Twilight asked hesitantly, as Trixie let loose with a stupid-looking smile.

"You are beautiful," Trixie said, gazing into Twilight's eyes.

"Uh..." Twilight said.

"Kiss me," Trixie said. She puckered her lips and leaned forward towards Twilight.

"AAAAAA!" Twilight screamed. She threw her water in Trixie's face as a distraction, then climbed on the table. Food splattered in all directions as Twilight jumped off the table and onto the floor.

Trixie dived and caught Twilight's tail. "You're not getting away that easily, my love!" she said.

"HEEELP!" Twilight screamed, trying her hardest to run away. She managed to get loose, but Trixie immediately gave chase.

"Trixie!" Thunder shouted, chasing after Trixie. The three of them began a wild chase throughout the restaurant.

Oh, crud, Princess Cadance thought. Unless she was mistaken, she just made the situation ten times worse. She instantly threw an anti-love spell towards the area with Twilight and the others. Unfortunately, the spell completely missed Trixie and Thunder; instead, it landed on Shining Armor and Fleur.

"Twiley!" Shining Armor said, getting up.

"Your sister ruined my dress!" Fleur said.

"I have to help her!" Shining Armor said. "Could you please get out of the way?"

"No!" Fleur said. "Zis dress cost me—"

"That doesn't matter right now!" Shining said. At that moment, nothing mattered to Shining Armor, besides fulfilling his duty as a big brother. "My sister—"

"I don't care about your stupid sister!" Fleur said. "She ruined my dress, and—"

"Twilight is not stupid!" Shining Armor said. "At least she knows the difference between colts and mares!"

Fleur slapped Shining Armor. "You ungrateful jerk!" she said. "We're through! I'm breaking up with you!"

"Fine!" Shining Armor said. "I never wanted to date such a selfish pony anyway! Now let me through!"

Shining shoved his way past Fleur and onto the ground. He quickly joined the chase, made up of his sister and the two love-struck unicorns.

Shining tackled Thunder Prancey, holding him down. Thunder squirmed around, trying to get loose. Shining flipped him over and knocked him unconscious, with a quick blow to a pressure point near the back of the neck.

Shining Armor smiled. His training as part of the Royal Guard came in handy sometimes.

"Shining, HELP!" Twilight cried. Exhausted by the chase, Twilight could run no more. She was cornered by Trixie and was now sporting fresh lipstick stains on her cheeks.

"Kiss me back, dearie," Trixie said. "I want to feel your great and powerful lips against mine."

"No! No! NO!" Twilight said.

"I'll help you!" Shining said. He jumped over a table and cast a shield spell at the area between Trixie and Twilight. The two mares both shrieked as they were flung in opposite directions.

Shining wasted no time in getting to his sister. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Not really," Twilight said. "This is the worst date—"

By this time, Trixie was back on her hooves. "Marry me!" she shouted, running towards Twilight and Shining Armor.

"RUN FOR IT!" Shining Armor said. "I'll cover your retreat!"

Twilight bolted for the exit, as Shining Armor protectively put himself in between Twilight and Trixie. He and Trixie leapt at each other, at the same time.

Chapter 5

When Twilight was younger, her older brother used to read her bedtime stories every night. Twilight's favorite story was Sleeping Beauty.

Okay, in reality, Twilight's favorite book was Spell-Bound Mysteries Starring Tina Hoofer, The Knowledgeable Unicorn. But Sleeping Beauty was definitely one of Twilight's top ten favorites. She didn't care much for the beginning part of the story, but she loved the second half, where the Princess dueled the evil unicorn King Somber.

Shining Armor always embellished this part of the story, making the duel as exciting as possible. One time, he went so far as to say the evil king turned himself into a giant dragon, which made the little filly giggle.

"But Princess Dawn, with her pure heart and strong will, was able to pierce through the evil King Somber's shield and cast him into the pit that he created," Shining Armor read. "With a scream, King Somber vanished into nothingness as he was destroyed forever."

"Yay!" Twilight said.

Shining Armor flipped the page. "With Somber gone, Princess Dawn was able to enter the enchanted tower. And after going up many, many flights of stairs, she reached the top, where she found her handsome Sleeping Beauty. She leaned over the bed and awoke him with a kiss."

"But why?" Twilight interrupted.

"Why what?" Shining Armor asked.

"Why did the kiss wake him up?" Twilight asked.

"Because that's how the curse worked, remember?" Shining said. "It could only be undone by true love's first kiss."

"But why does kissing wake people up?" Twilight asked. "That's not how Mommy wakes me up in the morning."

"Twiley..." Shining Armor said. "This was a special kiss. It was the first time Princess Dawn and Sleeping Beauty ever kissed each other. First kisses get rid of evil enchantments, you know."

"Oh," Twilight said.

"Someday, you're going to fall in love and get your first kiss," Shining Armor said. "And then you'll understand how wonderful they can be. It'll be the most magical moments of your life, one that you'll remember forever."

"Will I have to fight an evil unicorn king first?" Twilight asked.

Shining Armor laughed. "Hopefully not!"

As Twilight ran out the door of the restaurant, she couldn't help but be reminded of Sleeping Beauty. Her brother fighting Trixie was like Princess Dawn fighting the evil unicorn king, in the name of justice and love.

Twilight stopped near the trashcan outside and tried to look through the restaurant's windows. "I hope he doesn't get hurt," she said to herself.

"He'll be fine," somepony responded.

Twilight turned to the left and let out a small gasp when she found herself face-to-face with Trixie.

"Trixie! But you're—!"

"Inside?" Trixie laughed. "Please. Any halfway decent stage magician can fool the audience with a simple duplication spell."

Twilight took a step backwards. "But—!" she said.

"Shhhh!" Trixie said, putting her hoof on Twilight's lips. "Enough talking. It's time for kissing."

"I—" Twilight said.

Trixie pulled Twilight's head towards hers, and their lips came together. It was much like Sleeping Beauty, in that one of the kissers was passionate, while the other was using as much energy as an unconscious sleeper.

More importantly, though, the kiss was like Sleeping Beauty because it instantly dissolved the effects of Princess Cadance's miscast magic spell. For you see, first kisses really do break magical enchantments.

When this happened, the pink hearts left Trixie's eyes, and her pupils returned to normal. She jumped backwards in horror. "What—what am I—did I—?" she asked.

Twilight let out a choked breath. "You just—why did—?"

Trixie screamed. "You cast a love spell on me!" she accused Twilight.

"WHAAAAT?" Twilight asked. "You're the pony who forced herself on me!"

"I would never kiss somepony on the first date!" Trixie said. "You are out of your mind!"

"I told you I like stallions!" Twilight said, her eyes filling up with tears. "You—you're a pervert!"

Trixie was taken aback for a second, before she regained her composure. "This never happened," Trixie said. "If anypony asks, you and I did nothing together tonight."

Twilight growled at Trixie. Using her levitation magic, she picked up the nearby trashcan and turned it upside-down on Trixie's head. "If I ever see you again, I will call the Royal Guard," Twilight threatened. "GOT IT?"

"...Yes, ma'am," Trixie said meekly, before running away down the street.

Twenty minutes later, a morose Shining Armor dropped two more bits on the counter.

"Another donut, Joe," Shining Armor said. "With sprinkles this time."

"Sure thing, buddy," Pony Joe said. While he went to get Shining's order, the royal guard pony put his head down on the counter and sighed.

"Shining Armor?" a cautious voice asked.

"Huh?" Shining Armor asked. He swiveled around in his seat to see a concerned-looking pink pony. "Cadance? Is that you?"

"I...I saw what happened in the restaurant tonight," she said. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Okay? Why wouldn't I be?" Shining Armor asked, throwing up his hooves. "My marefriend broke up with me, I had to pay for all the damages to the restaurant, and my sister's first date was a disaster!"

"I'm sorry," Cadance said.

"Yeah...well...it's not your fault," Shining Armor said. He rubbed his nose. "What are you doing here, anyway? I haven't seen you in years."

"Don't get mad, but I followed you here," Cadance said. "I was worried, because you looked so upset."

"That's the understatement of the year," Shining Armor sighed. "I'm sure you don't want to hear about my romance problems, though."

"Well, I am the Princess of Love," Cadance offered. "And it looks like you could really use somepony to talk to..."

Shining Armor laughed. "Okay, you asked for it!" he said. He patted the seat next to him. "Come here, and I'll tell you the whole thing!"

Cadance smiled at Shining Armor as she sat down next to him.

Years later, when Shining Armor and Princess Cadance were happily married with two foals, Cadance finally admitted to Shining that she was directly responsible for his breakup with Fleur. At this point in time, though, she held her tongue about her involvement in the whole mess.

Cadance lent a sympathetic ear to Shining Amor, and she suggested that maybe, just maybe, there was a better mare for him out there. It took him ten months to realize that the better mare was her.

On the other side of town, Twilight roamed the streets in a daze.

That was. The worst.

I am never dating anypony again.

The worst.

I hate Trixie. She stole my first kiss.

No. NO. It never happened. That did not happen. I will not allow it. I will—

"YOU!" Twilight shouted at the nearest stallion.

"Who, me?" the stallion asked. He turned to look at Twilight. He was an elegant-looking stallion with a suit, monocle and mustache.

"Yeah, you," Twilight said. "What's your name?"

"I am Fancypants," the stallion said. "I—"

"You'll do," Twilight said. She grabbed Fancypants by the head and shoved her lips against his. Fancypants was so shocked that his monocle fell off. He struggled to break loose, but Twilight didn't let go until three seconds.

"There. That's my first kiss," Twilight said forcefully. "Not that stupid trickster!"

"What—who?" Fancypants spurted out. "I say! How dare you—?"

"Sorry about that," Twilight said. "Thanks for helping, though."

"There!" a voice called. "There she is!"

"Huh?" Twilight asked. She turned, just in time to see Trixie standing between two members of the Royal Guard. Trixie was pointing at Twilight, which must have been difficult for her to do, considering the fact that she was wearing a four-set of hoofcuffs.

One of the guards approached Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle?" he asked.

Twilight nodded. "Yes, that's me," she said hesitantly.

"You are under arrest for the destruction of the Romane Restaurant," he said, slapping a set of hoofcuffs on her. "If you resist arrest, force will be used—"

"WHAAAT?" Twilight shouted.

The guard read Twilight her rights, then she was taken away. A very confused Fancypants was left behind. Eventually, he got back up and decided to shrug off the whole incident as a random fluke. Two weeks later, he forgot the whole thing ever occurred.

Twilight, Trixie and Thunder were all put inside the same cell, for holding. Thunder was lying on the ground, still unconscious. The guards thought it would be a good idea to let him sleep off whatever he had been drinking.

Twilight and Trixie were glaring daggers at each other, from opposite sides of the cell.

"I can't believe you got me arrested," Twilight said. "What's wrong with you?"

"Please," Trixie said. "The owner of the restaurant put out the warrant for our arrest, not me. You think I like being in jail?"

"I don't know what you like, you sicko," Twilight said.

"I'm the sicko?" Trixie asked. "At least I never cast a love spell on anypony!"

"I told you, I didn't cast any love spells!" Twilight said. "I don't even know that kind of magic!"

"Then who cast the spell? Thunder?" Trixie laughed. "That idiot tried that once, and he ended up falling in love with his mane. Nopony could tell the difference for five hours."

Twilight bit her lip. As emotionally charged as she was at the moment, she couldn't stop the analytical side of her brain from judging the situation. She had seen the hearts in Trixie's eyes, so Trixie's claims about a love spell had some merit. The only question was who had cast it, and why.

"Is that possible?" Twilight asked.

"What are you talking about?" Trixie asked.

"Is it possible he cast the love spell on you?" Twilight asked. "But he bungled it, so you fell in love with me instead of him."

Trixie's eyes narrowed, suspicious that Twilight was trying to shirk responsibility for what happened. "There's only one way to know," she said.

Trixie jumped over to Thunder and slapped him awake. "YOU! Idiot!" she shouted.

"Huh? Whugubba?" Thunder asked.

"Did you cast a love spell on me tonight?" she asked.

"You are clearly mistaken, my fair Trixie. I would never do such a horrid thing to a mare as beautiful as you," Thunder said in a posh accent. Or at least, that's what he might have said, if he had been sober and fully cognizant. What he actually said was, "Yuh...huh?"

Trixie slapped him. "You [bad word]!" she shouted. "I'm going to destroy you!"

Trixie began pummeling Thunder, who started crying like a baby. Trixie was planning on beating Thunder into unconsciousness, but she was stopped by a lavender-colored hoof on her shoulder.

"Stop," Twilight said. "He's not worth it."

Trixie took a deep breath and tried to shake off her rage. "But...you...he..."

"He's a scumbag who's tried to ruin my life multiple times," Twilight said. "But you know what? I don't care what he says or does anymore. He doesn't matter to me now."

"Me neither," Trixie said, giving Thunder a kick. "You hear that? You don't matter to me anymore!"

"Mommy..." Thunder whined.

Twilight was not being motivated by generosity at this point. She wasn't trying to forgive Thunder in any way; all she wanted to do was forget her horrible night and move on with her life. But eventually, Twilight realized that she had learned a valuable lesson about acceptance and self-sufficiency.

I'm not going to let anypony pressure me into dating again, she decided. There's nothing wrong with being single, or shy. That's just who I am. If other ponies can't accept that, it's their problem. I've got enough to worry about, without trying to live up to everypony's romantic expectations.

Several things happened as a result of Twilight's first date.

First off, Shining Armor arrived at the jail, about an hour after Twilight's arrest. He was summoned as the officer who had originally detained Thunder Prancey, but he was shocked to learn that his sister was in holding. Fortunately, Princess Cadance had accompanied Shining to the jail, so she learned about the situation. Without letting anypony know about it, she gave Twilight and Trixie an official royal pardon. The two of them were released from custody soon afterwards.

Thunder Prancey was not so lucky. The charges of destroying the restaurant and paying for the damages fell on his shoulders. He also received restraining orders from Twilight and Trixie, even though that was unnecessary. At this point, he had decided it was in his best interests to stay very far away from them.

Princess Celestia was not too pleased, when she learned what had happened on Twilight Sparkle's date. She never again asked Cadance to spy for her.

Trixie continued her life as a professional magician. Eventually, she changed her stage name to "The Great and Powerful Trixie", and she took her show on the road. She met Twilight Sparkle for the second time, when her show reached Ponyville.

Trixie decided it would be a good idea to leave Canterlot and go on the road. Eventually, when her travelling show reached Ponyville, she met Twilight Sparkle again. Trixie started out by boasting in her usual fashion, but when she noticed Twilight in the audience, her show became much more subdued.

That night, Trixie went to visit Twilight. The two of them had a nice conversation for a while, but it was soon ended when the rampaging Ursa Minor crashed through the town. Twilight and Trixie worked together to defeat the monster, gaining them much popularity in town. Trixie ended up staying a week in Ponyville, before moving on to the next town.

Did Twilight overcome her shyness around stallions? Well...yes and no. If she liked a stallion, she had a tendency to clam up instantly. But when stallions liked her...that was a different story.

Seven months later...

Rarity had stopped by the Golden Oaks library, to pick up a romance book. Hearts and Hooves Day was coming up next week, and she wanted to get into the right mood for it, so to speak.

To Rarity's surprise (and great interest), she stumbled upon a cute little scene. Twilight and Time Turner were side-by-side, reading a book together.

"I'll be with you in a second, Rarity!" Twilight said. She turned towards Time Turner and pointed about the book. "So that's where you can learn more about the different types of sand," she explained.

"Gosh, Twilight, you're really smart," Time Turner said. "Do you want to hang out sometime?"

"You mean, like on a date?" Twilight asked.

"Well, yeah, sure, if you want," Time Turner said, blushing slightly.

"Sorry," Twilight Sparkle said. "I don't go on dates."

Rarity, who had been smiling happily at the scene, gasped in surprise. She managed to hold back her shock, until after the slightly sad-looking Time Turner had left the library.

"Are you crazy?" Rarity asked. "You just turned down a Hearts and Hooves Date!"

"Hearts and Hooves? Oh," Twilight said. "Is that this week? I almost forgot."

"Twiliiight!" Rarity whined. "What were you thinking? Time Turner is a great stallion for you!"

"Maybe," Twilight shrugged. "But like I said, I don't go on dates. Ever."

This information nearly destroyed Rarity's fragile mind. "Why not?" Rarity asked.

"It's...it's a long story," Twilight said.

The End