Second Chances

Second Chances
By Hero541
Chapter 22: I’m Not Sure

Over the course of the next few weeks, Josh and Vinyl were never apart for long. If one was around anywhere in Ponyville, the other was never far behind. Both were happier than they could possibly imagine. Octavia always welcomed Josh warmly now whenever he came to the house to see Vinyl, always seeing what their plans were for the day.

“Well, I’ve been saving up some money for awhile, and I’ve gotten us a pair of tickets to go to Canterlot today.” he said one day when the gray mare asked.

“That sounds lovely!” she said as Vinyl descended the stairs, “It’s been a long time since you’ve been to Canterlot hasn’t it Vinyl?”

“We’re going to Canterlot today?!” asked the unicorn excitedly.

“Yup. I’ve got two lovely little tickets here for you and I to head over there for the day. Sound fun?”

Vinyl answered him by leaping into his arms and planting little kisses all around his face. Josh laughed at his marefriend’s exuberance. In no time, they were both on the train headed to the capital city of Equestria, chatting idly in their train car.

“What’re we gonna do in Canterlot?” asked Vinyl, peering out the window as the countryside sped by.

“I was thinking we could spend a little time in the market. From there, we can get some lunch, then head over and see the castle for a bit.”

“How’re we gonna get access to the castle?” asked Vinyl, looking skeptically at Josh, “Don’t you have to have an appointment just to look at the front gate?”

“Twilight sent a letter to the princess saying we’d be in Canterlot today, and she offered to clear us to spend some time there for awhile.” said Josh, smiling at his confused marefriend.

“You collaborated with Twilight for this?”

“Well, I may have mentioned it in passing once…”

“How long have you been planning this?”

“Just a little while.”

Josh smiled at Vinyl, who got up and walked over to snuggle up to her coltfriend.

“Thank you for this, baby.” she said, wrapping her forelegs around his chest and squeezing him tightly, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Vinyl.” he said, kissing the top of her head as she relaxed against his chest.

*****

The day had been absolutely perfect so far. Josh and Vinyl realized how quickly word can spread in Equestria once they stepped into the market square. Ponies all around began recognizing them, talking about the show they’d done a few weeks ago and asking for autographs. Josh, who was used to that kind of attention, simply smiled and signed whatever they asked. Vinyl, however, was shaking so much from excitement that she couldn’t really focus her magic that well, and messed up a few of the autographs, to which the recipient would squeal in delight nonetheless.

After their walk through the market, they’d gone to a nice lunch at a small café near the castle. Vinyl kept on talking about how she couldn’t believe that she’d actually gotten to sign autographs for ponies, and began asking Josh for advice about how to do it perfectly. He just smiled at her and talked a little about some of his past experiences with fans. The unicorn listened intently to her coltfriend talk about some of the times he’d signed for people. Josh, for good reason, chose to omit the stories in which he’d signed a girl’s chest.

Now, they were walking thorough the Canterlot Castle Sculpture Garden, taking in the beautiful sight of the sculptures.

“Ooh.” said Vinyl, running over to inspect a sculpture of a pony playing a violin, “This one looks just like Tavi!”

“Yeah, it kinda does.” noted Josh, a little off put by the uncanny likeness to the gray mare.

“Look at this one!”

Josh turned to see Vinyl staring up at a tall statue of what looked like a snake with the head of a pony and a body formed from almost every other kind of animal. It had a look on its face of absolute fear. Josh stared at the statue, unable to look away from the strange figure. He never saw Vinyl run off to see the other sculptures.

“This thing sure is weird.” he said out loud.

“That’s not very nice. I never said anything about you.”

Josh jumped a little, looking around for the source of the voice.

“Over here, pretty boy. Look at the statue.”

Josh looked back to the statue in front of him. It was indeed a single, solid statue. Yet somehow, there seemed to be something weird about it…

“There you go.” said the voice once more, “You’ve found the right one. Congratulations.”

“Who’re you?” asked Josh, staring up at the tall creature, “Or better yet, what are you?”

“I’m the one and only Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony.” said the voice, “And you must be Josh Daniels. Or should I call you Xploshun?”

“How do you know my name?”

“You’d be surprised what I know about you, Josh. I know what you did before you came here, all the lies you’ve told, all the hearts you’ve broken. You’ve spread an awful lot of chaos in your own world, haven’t you? You’re a man after my own heart.”

“H-how can you know all that?” asked Josh, stammering a little as he felt his heart sink.

“I always watch your world, Josh. It does me good to see a little chaos going on from time to time. Warms the soul.”

“What do you want, Discord?”

“Just to help you out a little.”

Josh waited for Discord to continue, but the creature never did.

“What can you possibly help me with?” he asked, glaring at the statue.

“I can help you return to your old life. To your own world, where you’re banging a different girl every night and waking up in the morning with a hangover that would kill a lesser man.”

Josh said nothing to that. Memories of his past flashed through his mind at Discord’s words. He quickly suppressed them.

“I don’t do that anymore.”

“Why? Because you’ve found the love of your life? It’s disgusting. You’re not even the same species as her.” said Discord.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Josh retorted, thinking about his marefriend, “I don’t look at her as a pony. I look at her as the one thing in my life that means most to me.”

“And how many girls have you said that to before you’ve used them?”

“I’m not using Vinyl! I love her more than anything!”

“You’re using her as an excuse to stay in a world not meant for you! This place is one of love and harmony, and you, a cynical, lying, cheating, philandering human dare to think you’re worthy of living here, let alone finding somepony to love?!”

Josh was about to shout back at Discord, when a thought crossed his mind. This place was one of peace and love, and his past was the exact opposite of those virtues.

“What if your little marefriend found out the truth about your past? Would she continue to love you? Would she truly want to stick by your side once she learns what you’ve done on earth? There’s no way she could trust you not to do the same thing you’ve done to so many other girls, and break her heart chasing after another.”

Josh looked to the ground, his mind racing. How would Vinyl react if she learned what he’d done in his past? Would she really want to stay with someone who she has to worry might break her heart?

“What would you suggest I do then?” he finally said, looking back to Discord.

“Leave this world. Go back to your own and pick up from where you left off. Hell, go get wasted and get a good old-fashioned lap dance. That always eases the pain.”

“I can’t just leave everyone here." said Josh, images of his friends in Ponyville flashing through his mind, "Vinyl aside, there’s Rarity and Sweetie Belle and all the others. What do I do about them?”

“What difference does it make? How many other girls have you left crying and broken-hearted in a hotel room, wondering where they went wrong in the whole thing. If you truly love this mare, you’ll take my advice and leave before you add her to the list of those you’ve damaged.”

Josh was about to reply when he heard Vinyl calling to him.

“Think about what I’ve said here, Josh.” said Discord, “Arrivederci.”

Josh turned in time to see Vinyl walking up to him, a wide smile on her face.

“Try and keep up, slowpoke.” she joked.

“Sorry about that, babe. I just got distracted by this statue is all.”

“That’s okay. Come on! We’ve got a lot more of the gardens to see!”

Vinyl grabbed his hand in her magic, pulling him along excitedly. Josh followed along with her, but was unable to force Discord's words from his mind. As Vinyl pulled him along, all he could hear was Discord's pompous voice still echoing in his head.

*****

Later that night, Josh had a lot of trouble sleeping. Though he’d had a wonderful time in Canterlot with Vinyl today, he couldn’t shake Discord’s words from his head. Vinyl would still love me if I told her about my past, wouldn’t she? Memories of girls crying and yelling at him for using them flooded his mind. He knew in his heart of hearts that he could never do that to Vinyl, but would she know that?

He knew all too well the things he’d done wrong in his life, all the hearts he’d broken and people he’d stepped on. Vinyl had once been one of those, and he was determined not to let that happen ever again. However, he kept thinking about the last thing Discord had said:

“If you truly love this mare, you’ll take my advice and leave before you add her to the list of those you’ve damaged.”

Josh loved Vinyl more than anything in the whole of Equestria. Whenever he held her or kissed her, his heart soared. He’d never do anything to hurt her ever again. And yet, when he’d first met her, he’d done just that. True, Vinyl had forgiven him of that, but could she be forgiving once she learned that she was far from the first person he’d hurt?

His mind raced, battling with his love for Vinyl as well as his want to protect her from the truth of what he’d done before. After awhile, he got up to and snuck outside, wanting to take a walk. Maybe that would help clear his mind.

*****

The streets of Ponyville were peacefully quiet as Josh made his way through them. In his mind, he was battling with what to do. If he left, he would hurt Vinyl and every other pony a lot. However, if he stayed, he risked doing the same thing. What do I do? he thought, his mind racing with the thought of the repercussions of either choice Either way, I’m hurting someone.

For another few hours, he trudged through Ponyville, thinking about Vinyl and how much he loved the cream colored mare. In his mind, all he could think about was everypony rejecting him if they knew the truth of what he’d done before he came here. At the same time, he kept seeing their sad faces and crying eyes once he’d left. He was almost dreading how close he had become to everypony here in his time among them. But, he had become close to them, and he knew there was no way he could trade his friendships with everypony here for anything in the world.

Josh noticed Twilight's library nearby, and remembered back to the first time he'd even interacted with the lavender mare. Even then, he'd hurt somebody. Though he was still conflicted in his mind as to what to do, he began to realize what the right thing to do here was. It'd just be better this way he thought, sadness filling his heart as he picked up a pebble and tossed it at the window.

“Spike!” he called, hoping he didn’t wake up Twilight as well.

Miraculously, the baby dragon appeared at the window, rubbing his little eyes and looking down to Josh. He jumped down and made his way out to the balcony nearby.

“Josh? What’re you doing? It’s three in the morning…”

“Sorry Spike. I just… I need you to do something for me. Can you take two letters for me?”

“Sure. Who’re they for?”

“I need one for Vinyl first. I’ll tell you what to say with that one.”

“Okay. What about the other?”

Josh felt himself choke up as he spoke. It hurt him so much to have to say it. He didn't want to say it. The human closed his eyes, feeling tears starting to roll down his cheeks as he thought about what he was about to do.

“I… I need one f-for Princess Celestia. T-tell her that I’m.. ready to go home now.”