“Haha, yes!” The Doctor bounded around the TARDIS console, swaying slightly with the shaking ship. If he didn’t execute this particular maneuver absolutely perfectly, his beloved ship might just be torn to pieces. He quickly brushed his hair out of his eyes as he paused a moment and stared at the monitor. “C’mon, old girl!” The ship rattled again as he ran to a squiggly sort of lever and started shifting it downward as he worked at the keyboard with his free hand. Almost there… the TARDIS was tearing through the time vortex, just the right trajectory to finally get to-
In an instant the monitor went dark, the lights blinked out, even the whoosh of the time rotor broke off. Gas masks on cords fell from the ceiling. The Doctor ran his hands through his hair in shock and confusion. This shouldn’t have happened; the trip would either have worked or torn the ship apart. Nothing should have made his TARDIS stop. Last time this had happened, the TARDIS had strayed into a parallel universe. “That can’t be right. That time was a quirk, it was all Mickey’s fault…” He slowly turned around toward the door, wondering what he would find outside.
“WAIT.”
The Doctor froze. The voice was so deep that it rumbled through the console room, almost as much a feeling as a sound. He briefly wondered if humans would be able to hear it, then shook his head. Something more important was going on.
“THE LAST OF THE TIME LORDS, THE ONCOMING STORM. THE LONELY GOD, AS THEY SAY.”
The Time Lord was taken aback, but hid it well. “Who are you? How do you know who I am?” he challenged, putting on his usual casual bravado. What being could possibly be powerful enough to stop my TARDIS?
“THAT IS IRRELEVANT,” the voice boomed ominously.
“All right then, what have you done to my TARDIS?” A dangerous edge crept into the Doctor’s voice. “If you’ve harmed her in any way, I can promise that you will regret it.”
“I HAVE NOT DAMAGED YOUR MACHINE. I HAVE MERELY STOPPED IT. I WILL RESTORE IT, IF YOU COOPERATE.”
“You know, I’m not really in the habit of cooperating with big booming voices from nowhere. Well, except for that one simulation arcade on Phoxell IV, now that’s a brilliant game… But surely you could have the decency to threaten me to my face.” He leaned casually on the console, the usual mask of self-assurance and a bit of arrogance on his face, but his voice betrayed his barely-controlled anger.
“I AM NOT OF THIS DIMENSION. IF I WERE TO MANIFEST MY FORM HERE, THE IMPLOSION WOULD ELIMINATE THREE-QUARTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. IF YOU DO NOT COOPERATE, THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE DIRE.”
“Yeah, yeah, you destroy my TARDIS and probably kill me as well. But why, what for?”
“I DID NOT MEAN FOR YOU,” the voice rebuked. “THIS AND EVERY OTHER UNIVERSE IS IN GRAVE DANGER.”
The Doctor was surprised. “Really? How’s that?”
“THE FIXED POINT AT LAKE SILENCIO WAS NEARLY BROKEN. ALL OF HISTORY HAPPENED AT ONCE. TIME WAS DYING. YOU STOPPED IT, BUT THE EFFECTS WERE NOT COMPLETELY ERASED. ECHOES OF THAT WHICH NEVER HAPPENED HAVE RIPPLED ACROSS ALL OF TIME AND SPACE… INCLUDING THE TIME WAR.”
He felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. “The Time War is time locked. Nothing can affect it.” The bravado was completely gone now, replaced by shock and, perhaps, a touch of fear.
“DALEK CAAN PASSED THROUGH THE TIME LOCK, EVEN BEFORE THAT DAY. NOW, AFTER THE EVENTS THAT NEVER WERE, THE TIME LOCK IS DISINTEGRATING.”
“Disintegrating? That’s impossible! I executed the time lock myself. I protected it from temporal anomalies.” Dread rose inside of him. If the Time War is set loose on the universe again, the consequences will be unimaginable…
“NO ONE HAS EVER TRIED TO REWRITE A FIXED POINT. YOU KNOW WHY; YOUR WIFE DID NOT. THE TIME LOCK IS DISINTEGRATING, AND UNLESS YOU INTERVENE, THE RESULTS WILL BE DISASTROUS FOR THIS UNIVERSE AND ALL OTHERS.”
“You’re telling me.” He rubbed his eyes, suddenly feeling every day of his thousand and some years weighing down on him. Nobody knows better than I do that reality would not survive much longer… The Doctor sighed to himself. Still, this voice, whatever it was, didn’t need to threaten the TARDIS to get his attention on something this important. “You could have just asked, you know. Like everyone else does. No need to endanger my ship.”
The voice ignored this comment. “I AM SENDING YOU TO AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION. I WILL ASSIMILATE YOU AND YOUR SHIPAS NEEDED; HOWEVER, YOUR USE OF YOUR MACHINE WILL BE LIMITED BY REMOVAL FROM THIS UNIVERSE. I CAN KEEP IT CONNECTED, BUT NOT FULLY. FORTUNATELY, YOU WILL NOT NEED MUCH. EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO PREVENT THIS CRISIS WILL BE WHERE I SEND YOU. YOU MUST FIND IT, AND SOON. EVERY HOUR DELAY IS ANOTHER CRACK IN THE TIME LOCK.”
“Why can’t you do this yourself? I’m nobody’s errand boy.” The irritation was plain in the Time Lord’s voice. A request for help was one thing, but orders? He dropped into a nearby seat, sulking. This is too much like the Time Lords back in the old days, sending me about when they didn’t want to get their hands dirty... “And anyway, what exactly are you asking me to do? You’ve been pretty vague on the details.”
“YOUR TIME IS RUNNING OUT, TIME LORD.”
The Doctor held up his hands in surrender and got back to his feet. “Oh, all right, I’ll go. Not that you’ve given me much choice.”
As suddenly as it had stopped, the TARDIS came back to life. The rotor started up, a few extra creaks and groans in distaste at having to leave its home universe. The Doctor stumbled and grabbed the nearest railing; this was gonna be a bumpy ride.
Chapter 1: The Mysterious Stallion
Derpy Hooves trotted up to her daughter’s school just as the bell rang for dismissal, foals flooding out the door in all directions. She had just finished up her final delivery for the day and decided to walk home with her daughter, Dinky. The tiny unicorn spotted her mother quickly and trotted happily toward her.
“Hiya Mom!” Dinky threw her hooves around Derpy’s neck.
“Hey Squirt, how was school?” The grey pegasus smiled and hugged her back.
“Well, it was Snails’ turn for Family Appreciation Day, so he brought his Uncle Hammer who talked about building stuff… Apple Bloom’s Granny Smith was way better.” Dinky paused and thought for a moment, looking curiously at her mom. “What are you gonna do when it’s my turn, Mom?”
Derpy chuckled as they started down the road home. “Oh, I’ll think of something. What do you want for dinner?” The easy conversation continued as they walked homeward down the dirt road.
Dinky was telling her mother about a flying trick Featherweight had shown off during recess when an unfamiliar noise cut her off.
“Shh, do you hear that?” Derpy asked. She could just barely hear a strange whooshing sound. It was coming from nearby. She looked around, but saw nothing. What on earth could be making that noise?
“Stay right there, Dinky!” Derpy unfurled her wings and took to the air, circling the area for a better view. The strange “vworp, vworp” noise was clearer now. Much to her surprise, she caught sight of a strangely transparent blue box, which looked as though it was fading in and out of existence just a few feet away from her daughter. The whoosh got louder, and she swooped down and landed for a better look. “Police Public Call Box…”
“Mommy, w-what is it?” Derpy dove and picked up the filly. Dinky squeaked and flailed her tiny hooves in protest, but her mother ignored her displeasure and set her down behind some nearby shrubs.
“I don’t know, Dinky. Just stay back.” The pegasus took off again, circling the mysterious object that inexplicably wasn’t quite there. The box was getting more solid by the second, the noise getting louder, and finally with a slight clunk came into definite, unmistakable reality. Derpy landed in front of the door and cautiously approached it, reaching out one hoof to knock.
WHAM!
Suddenly the doors flew open and a brown blur tumbled out, knocking Derpy head over hindquarters off the road and landing on top of her. It shook its head, clearly disoriented. As Derpy managed to focus on what had knocked her over, she realized it was a stallion. He looked around and then down, making eye contact with Derpy. In a flash he was up on his hooves.
“Terribly sorry about that! Not entirely sure what happened there. The TARDIS has never thrown me out with quite such force before. Though she’s pushed me on occasion.” He cleared his throat awkwardly.
Derpy didn’t recognize this pony, which was strange. She knew nearly everypony around here. Is that a Trottingham accent? He must not be from around here. She giggled. “It’s ok! I crash into other ponies all the time!” At this, the strange stallion looked taken aback.
“Ponies?” He looked down at himself, seemingly shocked at his appearance. “Blimey, hooves…” He sat down and inspected them more closely. “Ok, so no more fingers. This’ll be a tricky one. Four legs, though. Legs are good.” He ran the hooves through his slightly spiky mane. “Still got hair, ok. Wait!” He leapt up and spun around. “I’ve got a tail! I’ve never had a tail before! What do you do with a tail? Aaand of course, couldn’t have been ginger even as a pony… Wait, what’s that? Since when do ponies have pictures on their bums?” He twisted in ways that Derpy thought looked painful, trying to get a good look at his flank. Dinky, who had come out from her hiding place, trotted over and peered at the new pony from behind her mother.
Dinky and Derpy looked on, bemused. It was almost as if this stallion had never seen himself before. Dinky piped up, trying to help him. “Mister, that’s your cutie mark! It’s an hourglass. What does that mean?”
The brown stallion stared at her. “Cutie mark? What sort of name is that?” Noting the puzzled looks on both ponies’ faces, he cleared his throat awkwardly, turned back to his own flank and shrugged. “Oh well. I guess you never know what you’re gonna get. And this wasn’t even a regeneration! Now,” he said, tapping a hoof against his chin, “where am I?”
“You’re about half a mile outside of Ponyville. Where were you trying to be?” Derpy was puzzled. Not that this was abnormal for her, mind, but this stallion was… strange.
“Well, quite honestly, not a clue. I was… well, sent here.” For some reason, this seemed to annoy him. “Bit unusual for me, but with the whole universe at stake, I mean, I couldn’t exactly refuse. Anyway, Ponyville, you said? Where’s that?” the mysterious pony asked cheerfully.
Derpy considered this peculiar stranger. Clearly he had no idea where he was or where he was going. Celestia, he barely seemed to know who he was. She knew what that was like.
“Why it’s the nicest little town in Equestria! I’ll show you around and introduce you to everypony!”
Dinky grinned and bounced a little, delighted by this adventure. “Yeah, Mom knows the town like the back of her hoof! We can introduce you to Pinkie Pie and Carrot Top and Lyra and…”
“Whoa, kiddo, you’ve got homework to do! We’re pretty close to the house. Dinky, we’ll drop you off at home. You stay there with your sister and start your homework, and I’ll show this nice stallion around town, okay?”
The tiny unicorn plopped down on the ground in disappointment. “But Moooommm!”
Derpy laughed and nuzzled her pouting daughter affectionately. “Sorry, kiddo, you’ve got to get your homework done! I’ll be home soon, I promise. You need to let Amethyst Star know where I’m going.”
“Awwww!” Dinky groaned.
The stallion chuckled. “Don’t worry, Dinky, I’m sure your mum’ll take good care of me. She’ll be back before you know it!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“And this is Sugarcube Corner!” Derpy proudly pointed toward the bakery. “The Cakes are in charge, and Pinkie Pie works there too. She’s the friendliest pony you could ever meet! She’ll be really excited to meet you!”
Amused, the Doctor followed her toward the colorful building. It looked like an ice cream cone on top of a gingerbread house, with candles on top and a remarkable amount of pink. Icing-like trim edged the brown roof, and a sign with a cupcake on it labeled the place Sugarcube Corner, as Derpy had said. He chuckled to himself as they entered.
And then it hit him. “It,” in this case, being Pinkie Pie. He suddenly found himself on the floor, being tackle-hugged by the bounciest, happiest, pinkest creature he had ever encountered.
“Oh wow, a new pony?! Hi there mister I-don’t-know-what-your-name-is-yet-but-I’m-sure-we’ll-be-best-friends! What do you think of Ponyville? Isn’t it the most super duper place EVER? Oooh I know, we need to throw a welcome party for you! I LOVE welcome parties! I love ALL parties, actually, but welcome parties are extra exciting because I get to meet new ponies!”
“Blimey, and I thought I could talk,” the slightly dazed Doctor muttered. He gently tried to disentangle himself from the bright pink pony and stand up. He realized, once again, that he simply had too many legs. “How do you lot get around with all these?” Suddenly aware of the unfamiliar body he had taken mostly for granted, he struggled to get his hooves back on the ground. Derpy grabbed him around the middle and pulled him up. “Oi. Thanks, Derpy.”
“Oh, no problem at all. I have the same problem sometimes.” The wacky-eyed pegasus grinned crookedly.
Raising an eyebrow, the Doctor turned back to Pinkie Pie and smiled goofily. “A party? Parties are great! When can we start?”
Pinkie frowned in thought for a moment, counted on… way more hooves than made sense, and answered, “I can have the park all ready for a full-blown super-duper fun-TASTIC kerbloozy of a welcome party in approximately three hours, seventeen minutes, and fifty-nine seconds!”
The Doctor wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or confused. He shrugged it off and replied, “Brilliant! Derpy, where’s the park?”
The grey mare giggled. “I’ll take you there when it’s time! Come on, we should go see if Rarity can get you dressed up for your party!”
“Ooh, great idea, Derpy!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “He needs to make a good impression on all the Ponyvillians! Wait, no, that sounds like Ponyvillains, and that’s not good because Ponyville ponies are the nicest ponies anywhere! Ponyvillites? Ponyvillers…?” Derpy and the Doctor left Pinkie to her party preparations. “Oh, and I’d better grab my party cannon. Wait till you see the cake!” she shouted as Derpy pulled the Doctor away.
The gray pegasus was practically dragging the bemused Doctor toward a tower-like building. “Wait, where are we going now?” he asked. Derpy turned to face him and grinned.
“The Carousel Boutique!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hi Rarity!” Derpy shouted gleefully as they burst through the door, startling a scream out of the extremely well-groomed white pony inside.
“Derpy, how many times?! I would appreciate at least a knock-” She caught sight of the brown stallion behind Derpy and stopped short. “Oh dear heavens, we must do something about that mane of yours. You’re an absolute mess!”
Derpy whispered in the Doctor’s ear, “Don’t take it personally. She thinks EVERYPONY’s a mess. But she’s the best fashion designer ever in all of Equestria!”
Rarity trotted over and pulled the Doctor to a bathroom in the back of the boutique. “Let’s see… Towels over here, soap over there, give yourself a quick scrub. My goodness, did Pinkie Pie tackle you into a mud puddle?”
The Doctor was surprised. “How – how did you know she tackled me?”
“Please, darling, Pinkie Pie tackles everypony. And throws welcome parties, and sends the ponies to me to be freshened up beforehand. Now go clean up, we haven’t got all day! I still need to pick you an outfit!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Doctor trotted from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his head. “All right then, what have you got for me to wear? I do love getting dressed up! You don’t happen to have a bow tie, do you?”
“A bow tie? Goodness, no! That would have been perfectly all right last month, but if you wore one now you would look terribly outdated. Just leave this to me!” With that, she started flinging various garments from a nearby wardrobe. “Let’s see, it’s a Pinkie Pie party, so nothing too fancy… Simple, but distinguished.” She pulled out a light blue collar and an elegantly patterned necktie. “This blue should set off your eyes nicely, don’t you think? And this tie is a brand new style from Armaneigh, just came in this morning.” She stepped back and surveyed the stallion critically. “I suppose it’s the best we can do with the time we have. Now let’s do something with that mane.”
She pulled the towel from his head, ran a hoof through his thick mane, and sighed regretfully. “A hairstylist’s dream! If only we had the time to really dress you up!” Resigned, she pulled a tube of gel from a cupboard and squeezed a bit onto one hoof. “I suppose we’ll have to stick with the deliberately-tousled look. It’s all we have time for, really. Pinkie Pie is always in a hurry.” She wiped her hooves on a towel and led him to a full-length mirror. “Okay, take a look. What do you think?”
“Oooh, you look great!” Derpy clapped her hooves together in excitement. “Great job as always, Rarity!”
The Doctor inspected the unfamiliar stallion in the mirror. “Hmm… Reminds me of my last self,” he muttered. “Could be worse.” Rarity cringed as he ran a hoof through his carefully styled mane. “I could get used to this. Well done Rarity! And with… twenty minutes and fourteen seconds left to get to my party. Brilliant!”
“Oh, it was nothing. Do come by again someday, when you've got more time to work with. Then I’ll get you really looking fabulous! Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go prepare for the party myself!” With that, she trotted to the bathroom and shut the door.
“Come on, let’s get to the park! We don’t want to be late!” Derpy grabbed the Doctor’s foreleg and dragged him out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Doctor was glad he had so much practice in running, because keeping up with Derpy’s overexcited, ungraceful flight was surprisingly difficult. She insisted on half-dragging him all the way to the park, the stallion barely keeping on his feet.
“Blimey, Derpy, couldn’t we slow down just a bit? You’ll ruin all Rarity’s hard work if you drag me across all Ponyville!”
“Sorry, we’re already late! The party will have started by now without its guest of honor!”
“Well, no harm in arriving fashionably late, is there?”
“It’s a Pinkie Pie party! We don’t want to miss one bit!”
The Doctor resigned himself to the inevitable and decided to save his breath for running. When they finally reached the park, they found that the party was indeed already underway. The whole town was there, excited to meet this mysterious new pony. They speculated excitedly about what he would be like – or, indeed, what his name was. For the crowning decoration of the party was an enormous banner stretched between two trees: “WELCOME TO PONYVILLE, !” With only an empty space where his name should have been, rumors were already flying.
As the brown pony stumbled into the park with Derpy, Pinkie popped up right next to him and began talking at her usual speed.
“Oh good, you made it! I was worried you might have gotten lost or kidnapped by griffons or distracted by an ice cream sundae as big as the moon or summoned to Princess Celestia or-”
Derpy cut her off. “Yep, we made it! Rarity took forever dressing him up. What did we miss?”
Pinkie Pie beamed. “Nothing much yet! I only just brought out the punch bowl.” She turned to the Doctor. “I didn’t even notice until after you left that I was so excited to meet a new pony and plan a welcome party that I completely forgot to ask for your name! That’s why I left the banner blank. So what should I put up there?”
Derpy was astonished. “Oh wow, I didn’t even think to ask for your name either! That funny box of yours must have distracted me. What should I call you?”
The brown stallion grinned goofily. “I’m the Doctor.”
By now, the rest of the party guests had noticed that the guest of honor had finally arrived. They gathered in a big circle around the trio, whispering amongst themselves. The Doctor heard snippets of their conversations. “The Doctor?” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “That’s not a name!” “What kind of pony’s called the Doctor?”
Pinkie seemed to agree. Puzzled, she asked, “The Doctor? Doctor who?”
He laughed. “Oh, that never gets old,” he muttered to himself. He considered the question. Making up a name never seemed to work in front of a crowd. Ignoring the question just made them fear him. Oh, to heck with it, he thought to himself. I’m a pony. I just can’t resist. “I generally prefer to go by ‘Doctor,’ but I’m Doctor Hooves.” he began, barely restraining his laughter. “My name’s Doctor Hooves.”
Author's Note
I'd like to thank neutralmilk for his excellent editing, his encouragement, and his ideas. Without him, this story may never have been started, let alone had two sections done. Also, for his promotion of this story. If he sent you over, thanks for the visit! If not, you should check out his work.
