Spike's Crazy Date

by Afro Pony

Chapters

Deejay's Aren't My Type
Bar Fights and What Not
It's Hard Out There For a Dragon
Flashbacks and Future Follies
There's Got to be a Morning After...
Wrapping It Up
Epilogue

Deejay's Aren't My Type

“SPIKE, WAKE UP!” yelled Twilight. She used her magic to pull the sheets of her lowly assistant.

Spike groaned and curled into the fetal position, “Leave me alone Twi, I’m grieving.”

Twilight placed a comforting hoof on Spike’s shoulder, “Listen, I know you’re still upset about Rari-”

“SHE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED!” yelled Spike.

“Uh...Okay, ‘she who shall not be named’, but it’s been 5 months. GET OVER IT!”

Spike uncurled and looked at Twilight, “I can’t just get over it, she wasted years of my life! All those hours digging for diamonds, all those supplies I carried for her, all those times I endured when she couldn’t take the hint!”. He sat on the edge of his bed sulking.

Twilight looked at him with annoyed but understanding eyes, “Well, in her defense, you never actually told her that you liked her.”

Spike frowned at her, “Twilight, for last year’s Hearts and Hooves Day I had Pinkie make a 10 hoof tall cake with her face on it. If she couldn’t take the hint, she didn’t want to.” By now the Drake had curled back in his bed.

Twilight dropped the understanding part from her eyes, “That is still no reason for you to sleep all day like a bum. I’m way behind on my studies and would appreciate your help. So get up!” She levitated Spike off his bed and down the stairs. When she let him go, he could hardly stand on his own.

“Fine.” he said. “What are we studying today anyway?”

Twilight consulted her daily studies book. “Let’s see, Monday, Tuesday, here we go Wednesday. It says here ‘to study the effects of love and heartbreak’.” Twilight looked over to her scaly assistant to see smoke rising from his snout.

“Are you serious right now?” he asked with arms crossed. Twilight gave a fake smile.

“Listen Spike, this schedule was planned way far in advance. There was no way to have known its effect today.”. Spike flagged her, unconvinced.

“If you need me, I’ll have my face buried in tub of ice cream.” he said blankly. He turned to go upstairs when a nyan pegasus walked into the library.

“Hey Rainbow Dash, here to rent another Daring do book?” asked Twilight.

“You know it!” said Rainbow, she looked around. “Hey, where’s Spike?”.

Twilight rolled her eyes, “Upstairs sulking,” she said.

Rainbow thought for a moment, “Oh, is he still mad about Rarity?” she asked.

“SHE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED!” yelled Spike from upstairs.

Twilight rolled her eyes again, “Yes, and now he’s a shell of his former self.”

Rainbow flew upstairs to see the dragon (as he told Twilight) enjoying a tub of ice cream. She tried to hold in a laugh but failed miserably. “AHAHAHAHA!” she cried.

Spike stared daggers at her, “Yeah, whatever.” said Spike, blushing slightly.

Rainbow finally stopped laughing, “Oh, I’m sorry Spike.” she said in between gasps. “But don’t you think you should try to move on?”.

Spike sighed, putting the ice cream down. “I have tried, remember that crossed eyed Pegasus that used to deliver the mail?”

“You mean Derpy Hooves?” asked Rainbow.

“Yeah, I took her out on a date one time.” Spike said grimly.

“How was it?”

Spike sighed again, “Let’s just say I don’t know what went wrong. How is she anyway?”

Rainbow shrugged, “The last time I heard about her she was marrying some doctor.”

Spike groaned, “If she could find love, how come I can’t?” he asked.

“You just need to apply yourself. Have you tried going to some clubs?”

Spike gave her a funny look, “Could you picture me trying to pick up mares in a club?” he asked.

Rainbow Dash managed to hold in a giggle, “I guess you’re right.” she said. Suddenly as if a light bulb went off in her head, Rainbow jumped up in the air, hovering with her wings.

“Spike that’s just it! I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of this sooner!” she exclaimed.

“Though of what?” asked Spike

“One of my mare friends just got out of a relationship! You could totally date her!” she answered.

Spike just stared at her for a second, “Uh...no.” he said plainly.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?!” yelled Twilight coming up the stairs.

“I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” he said.

Twilight all most resisted slapping Spike, all most.

“Oww, what was that for?” he asked, rubbing his now red cheek.

“So let me get this straight. You sulk over Rarity day and night, but when somepony gives you a chance to get over it, YOU TURN IT DOWN?!”

Spike nodded, “Yeah, pretty much.” he said. He started to reach back for his ice cream.

“Oh no you don’t!” yelled Twilight, levitating the tub away. “Listen Spike, I didn’t want to have to do this, but you left me no choice. Since you’re not fulfilling your duties as my assistant, you have two options.” Spike looked at her, scared that he wouldn’t like either.

“One, you can try to get over Rarity by going on this date. Or, you can leave.” Twilight’s words lingered in the air. Spike gasped at her revelation.

“Don’t you think kicking me out is just a little extreme?” he asked.

“It’s not like I want to, but you’re not pulling your weight. I can’t provide for the both of us. So, what is it going to be?”

Spike thought for a moment, although he hated both decisions, going on a date was better than homelessness. He sighed, “Fine, I’ll go on the stupid date.” he said. Rainbow Dash was the first to cheer.

“Good for you Spike, I’m sure you’ll like her.” she said.

“Yeah,yeah.” said Spike, still unconvinced. “Who is this mare anyway?”.

Rainbow smiled, “Believe it or not, she’s one of Equestria’s fastest rising deejays. Her name is Vinyl Scratch, although she is also known as DJ-PON3.”

“A deejay?” asked Spike, “I don’t know...”

“Don’t worry, you’ll like her.” said Rainbow. “Just make sure you don’t act dorky, I’ll put in a good word for you.”

Spike nodded but was still unsure, this could go multiple ways, most of them ended badly.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Tonight’s the night.” said Spike to himself as he checked his look in the mirror.

Just over a week ago, Rainbow Dash had set him up on a date with one of her friends. It was the big night, and his time to impress.

“Don’t worry.” said Twilight, handing Spike a comb. “I’m sure there is nothing to worry about.”

There was a knock on the door, Twilight opened it to see Rainbow Dash. The Pegasus walked in looking for Spike. She found him standing awkwardly looking at the mirror.

“Uh...Spike, what do you have on?” she asked.

Spike looked himself up and down, “What’s wrong?” he asked. He was wearing a fitting tuxedo with a red bowtie.

“Maybe the word ‘deejay’ didn’t register properly. You can’t show up in a tux, you’ll scare her off. Lucky for you, I planned for this.” She pulled out some clothes from her saddlebag and threw them at him.

Spike tried them on, they fit, but were definitely not his style. “Do I really have to wear these?” he groaned.

“Yes, if you want to impress her.” she said. “Now hop on my back, I’ll fly you to where you’re meeting her.”

Spike sighed and hopped on Rainbow’s back, “See you Twi.” he said as Rainbow walked out.

Twilight smiled, “Don’t do anything too crazy!” she yelled as they flew off into the night.

______________________________________________________________________

It was a great summer night. Just the right temperature, clear skies, but yet Spike could not relax as he flew through the air on Dash’s back. After a short flight, they arrived to a district of Ponyville Spike didn’t recognize. The place was full of clubs and other places you hoped your mother didn’t know you went to. After a short walk, they arrived at some mediocre looking restaurant.

“This is the place.” said Rainbow Dash. “She should just be inside.”

Spike gulped, “I don’t know if-” was all he was able to say before realizing Rainbow Dash was flying away.

“WAIT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE!” he yelled.

“You’ll know when you see her!” Rainbow called, not slowing down at all.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Spike took a deep breath before working up the nerve to walk into the restaurant. There weren’t many ponies in there, but he saw a free booth on the other side of the restaurant. He slowly made his way over there when a familiar voice called his name.

“HEY! SPIKE! BEHIND YOU!”

Spike turned around to see everyone's’ favorite party pony. “Pinkie Pie? What are you doing here with-” Pinkie’s date took the dragon by surprise. “BRAEBURN!” he asked.

“Well howdy do Spike!” said the southern earth pony. “What brings ya ‘round these parts?”

Spike still stood in disbelief , “I-I, what are you doing here?

Pinkie leaped on top of the table, “Well it’s a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG story, but I’ll try to say everything! Well since the bison really liked the apple sweets, the cakes and I go to Appleloosa each year to make stuff for them. Well, one year me and Braeburn started talking and realized we had a lot in common! So every Summer he moves in with me and we hang out. This year he told me that ‘he wanted to be more than just friends’ and I said ‘what do you mean’ and he said ‘I like you’ and I said-” Braeburn put his hoof up to Pinkie’s mouth.

“Basically, we’re going out!” he said. Pinkie went back to her seat and kissed him on his cheek, making him blush.

“YEP!” she said happily.

Spike realized that if his jaw was any further dropped, he would have to go to the hospital.

‘Pinkie and Braeburn?’ he thought. The more he pondered about it, the more it made sense.

“SO, why are you here Spike?” asked Pinkie, snapping the dragon out of his daze.

“Oh, I actually am on a date too.” he said with a hint of pride.

“Well good for you partner!” said Braeburn. “Maybe we could double date sometime!”

Spike nodded in agreement, although he knew that would never happen. “Hey, I’d love to stay here and chat, but..”

“Oh sure Spike, don’t let us keep you.” said Pinkie, waving him along. After one final goodbye, Spike resumed trying to find his date.

The restaurant was bigger then Spike had previously thought, there were plenty of seats. Most of them were either empty, or was being used by a couple. Finally Spike saw a booth with only one user. She was a unicorn, bright blue hair, with a very pale whitish yellow coat. The only things she was wearing were a pair of goggles, and a pair of headphones. She had her back towards Spike, and looked to have been drinking something.

Spike slowly made his way to in front of the mare, not sure on how to get her attention. Eventually she stopped drinking and looked up at him. Spike took on a slight smile.

“Who the hay are you?” she asked.

Spike’s smile quickly disappeared, he felt his heart beat faster. There was an awkward silence before Spike answered her.

“Uhh...I’m your date?” he asked confused. The mare laughed before taking off her goggles, she revealed two beautiful reddish brown eyes.

Spike’s jaw dropped, without her goggles she looked beautiful. Her eyes were a perfect accessory to her coat and mane. Spike began to blush.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. Dashie didn’t tell me you were a dragon.” she said.

Spike thought it was amazing that her voice was even more tomboyish than his colorful friend.

“Oh...that’s okay, my name’s Spike by the way.” he said extending his hand.

The mare took it with both hooves and shook violently, “The name is Vinyl Scratch, but in the clubs I’m DJ-PON3.” When she finally released him from the death lock, the dragon’s hand was limp.

“Nice to meet you.” he said, holding in the pain.

_____________________________________________________________________________

The odd pair sat across from each other in silence. Vinyl had just finished up her 3rd serving of hay fries, while Spike was busy trying to think of a conversation starter. Vinyl had just finished up the last of her food when she looked at Spike.

“Just to let you know, just because it’s a date, doesn’t mean I’m automatically going to sleep with you.” she said.

Spike could literally feel the butterflies already in his stomach start a riot.

“I-I-I w-wasn't going t-to assume t-that.” he managed to stammer. He could feel the redness in his cheeks.

Vinyl laughed, “Oh man! I was just messing with you. But you should see the look on your face right now!”. This only made Spike blush harder.

“Oh.” he said shyly. “I would think a colt wouldn’t assume that.”

Vinyl finally stopped laughing, “Yeah, but you’d be surprised by some of my Ex’s. Like this one guy was some huge bodybuilder or something, every time he was happy he’d yell ‘YEAH!’ and for a Pegasus, his wings were REALLY small.”

Spike laughed a little, “Yeah, that is pretty bad.” he said.

Vinyl giggled, “So what about you? Did you ever have a bad ex?”

Spike’s smile left, “I couldn’t really call her an ex, technically we never dated.” he said.

Vinyl leaned forward in anticipation, “So, tell me about her.” she said impatiently.

“Well, I knew her for 5 years.” he said. “I always had a crush on her, but never got a chance to tell her my true feelings. She was a fashion designer, I would go out of my way to help her. One day, a prince from Saddle Arabia went to one of her fashion shows. He liked her designs so much, he gave her a job as his personal wardrobe manager. She went to go live in his palace, promising that she come back. But just recently, we got a postcard saying that they were engaged. It broke my heart, but at the same time I knew that I only had myself to blame.”

Spike felt a small tear roll down his cheek, he quickly wiped it away, hoping that Vinyl didn’t see it. He waited for her to respond but she said nothing. She was just staring at him.

Spike looked around nervously, ‘she probably thinks I’m wimpy’ he thought. “Uh..sorry I didn’t mean t-” was all he could get out before Vinyl pulled him in for a kiss.

In a moment, Spike’s emotions went from shock, to happiness, back to shock. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but time seemed to move slower.

Finally breaking apart, Spike just looked down to the table. His cheeks were as red as Big Macintosh, and he panted like a dog. Vinyl giggled, making Spike look up.

“If you’re done fawning over me, get ready to go.” she said. “It’s time to have some real fun.”

Bar Fights and What Not

First impressions were always important to Spike. Although he hated to admit it, he judged someone the first time he met them. But as he was being pulled through the streets of Ponyville’s red light district, he had trouble formulating an idea of his date.So far, the events of this afternoon didn’t go at all as he had expected it to go.He was emmbarrased multiple times, and his date’s personallity matched that of a colt’s instead of a mare. However, Spike found himself enjoying the wild ride.

They passed a couple of pubs, all full of young ponies enjoying their youth. Spike saw a clothing store that resembled the bad outfit he had on. The two went off the main city walk, and deeper into the bowels of Ponyville.

“So, where are we going again?” he asked. He was on his deejay friend’s back.They were going through parts of town Spike didn’t even knew existed.

“It’s a surprise!” she said. “You don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Spike gulped, something told him this ‘surprise’ was going to feel more like a punishment.

They finally stopped outside a large black building. The entrance to the place had a line that stretched all the way down the street. A huge stallion worked the entrance, letting only the best looking mares in.

“Welcome to THE RAMBUNCTIOUS UNICORN!” yelled Vinyl. “Equestria’s number one nightclub, and my latest gig.”

Spike had actually been to the club before, it was where he went for Big Macintosh’s bachelor party. It was a complete disaster.

_____________________________________________________________________

“WOO! Let’s Party!” yelled Shining Armor, running into the club.

It was a week before Big Mac’s big day. Spike, Carmel, and Shining Armor (who somehow managed to negotiate Cadance into letting him go to a nightclub) , had all gathered to send the colt into the married life.

Big Macintosh had already told Spike to keep an eye out for Shining Armor.

“Make sure he doesn’t do anythang he goin’ to regret.” said the shy Earth Pony.

However, it looked like that was going to be easier said than done.Within a minute of stepping in the club, Shining Armor had already ordered shots for everyone.

“TO BIG MAC AND FLUTTERSHY, MAY THEY HAVE A LONG AND HAPPY MARRIAGE!” he yelled. They all toasted and drunk the hard cider.

“UGH! It’s so bitter.” complained Spike . To this Shining Armor only started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” asked Spike

“Oh, nothing much.” said Armor. “I just added a little bit of ‘oomph’ to it , you know, to give it a little kick.”

Caramel turned pale, “YOU ADDED WHAT?” he yelled. Shining Armor only laughed harder.

“Don’t worry about it, just enjoy the ride and have fun.” said Shining Armor.

The usually calm Big Mac, instead took on a nasty scowl. “What did you add?” he asked sternly. Shining Armor’s smug look faded away.

“Oh you know...just a little Pixie Flakes.” he said softly. Spike was the second to turn pale.

“PIXIE FLAKES! That stuff is really powerful!” yelled the dragon. “Why in the name of Celestia did you do that!?”

Shining Armor gave a sad look, “I mean...I didn’t have a bachelor party when I got married! I just wanted us to have fun!” he yelled.

“SO YOU DRUG US!?” screamed Carmel. “YOU’RE THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD, YOU’RE THE RESPONSIBLE ONE!”

Shining Armor’s smile came back.

“And it should be kicking in right...about...now!”

On cue, Spike began to feel VERY light headed. The room started started to spin, the colors of the club began to blur. Dots danced across the Drake’s face , everything went black.

Spike awoke dazed in a chair. As far as he realized he was still in the club. He tried to stand but staggered, eventually sitting back in the chair. The loud music pounded his head, everything was blurry.

“Guys? Where are you?” he asked.

He looked over to the dance floor, the sight was one to remember.

Carmel was in the middle of a group of ‘flamboyant’ stallions. He danced wildly while his partners laughed and blew kisses. If Spike wasn’t so delirious, he would have been rolling on the floor laughing.

The dragon slowly (and sloppily) made his way towards the dance floor to help his friend. Finally reaching him when the other stallions began throwing bits in the air.

“Carmel, what the hay are you doing?” asked Spike sleepily.

“HEY SPIKE!” said the drunken pony. “Where’ve ya been?”

Spike ignored the question and tried to remain focused.

“Where’s Big Macintosh and Shining Armor?” asked Spike. The orange pony laughed.

“I dunno where Shining Armor is, but Big Mac said something about karaoke.” said Carmel

Spike took an annoyed sigh, “Stay here!” demanded Spike. One of the stallions Carmel was dancing with laughed.

“Don't worry, we’ll take EXTRA care of him.” he said.

Spike slowly made his way to the other side of the club, he was pretty alert by now.

On the other side of the club was the stage and bar, Spike heard someone over the microphone.

“And now, for our amatuer karaoke contest, Big Macintosh!” there was a light cheer as the huge colt lumered for the microphone.

“This is a song dedicated to my Ex. marefriend. ‘CHEERILEE IS SWEET AND KIND, SHE’S THE BEST TEACHER WE COULD HOPE FOR! THE PERFECT STALLION YOU AND I MUST FIND, ONE THAT MAKES HER, HEART SOOAARR!’” his voice sounded even more awkward when he sung.

Spike made his way onto the stage, pulling the lumbering Big Mac off.

“HEY! I was singin!” he said in his southern accent. Spike shook him to get his attention.

“BIG MAC! WHERE IS SHINING ARMOR?!” he asked.

Big Mac laughed, “He’s right behind ya!” he said. Spike turned around, it was not a pretty sight.

Shining Armor was sitting on a lounge couch, making out with a ‘less than preferable’ mare.

If Spike had any hair, he would’ve pulled it out. He ran over to the drunken unicorn.

“Shining Armor! Dude, you’re MARRIED!” he said. Shining Armor’s partner was the first to react.

“YOU’RE MARRIED!?” she asked in a deep raspy voice. “HOW DARE YOU?”. She delivered a powerful slap, sending Shining hurtling towards the floor.

“Come on Shining, we have to get out of here.” Spike led the unicorn and the huge colt, to a vacant area of the bar.

“Now all we need is Carmel.” Spike returned to the dance floor to see Carmel still partying with his new friends.

“Carmel, party’s over. LET’S GO!” he said.

Spike grabbed the colt’s mane, and started to pull him towards the others.

Suddenly a familiar voice called out.

“And where do you think YOU’RE going?” it asked.

Spike turned around to see two male unicorns. One with an over the top handlebar mustache, the other wearing a striped top hat.

“THE FLIM FLAM BROTHERS!??” yelled Spike in surprise.

“That’s right!” yelled Flim, obviously drunk. Flam just growled in response.

“You Ponyville scum ruined us! Everywhere we went, we were ridiculed for being bested by you Sweet Apple chumps!” yelled Flim.

Spike took a very long and irritated sigh,”Listen guys, I’m really sorry bu-”

“YOU AMATEURS GOT WHAT YOU HAD COMING!” interrupted Carmel.

The brothers anger rose, “We had to sell the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, just to survive!” yelled Flim.

“Hey Flim.” said Flam

“Yes Flam?” said Flim

“I have an Idea.”

“What is it?”

“LETS KICK THEIR ASSES!” yelled Flam.

“Great plan!” agreed Flim. He used his levitation powers to fling Spike against the wall.

Carmel jumped on Flam’s back in an act of rage. Flam effortlessly shook him off, the earth pony crashed to the floor.

“Nopony touches him like that!” yelled one of the colts Carmel was dancing with. Followed by a few other dancers, the ‘girly’ mob tackled Flam.

Flim charged for Spike, who was still dazed from being thrown against the wall.The unicorn was intercepted by a large red colt.

“I don’t think so!” yelled Big Mac, knocking the unicorn away from the dragon.

Flim got off the ground, he levitated bottles from the bar, and began to throw them at the pair. Spike managed to get out of the way, Big Mac wasn’t so lucky. One bottle hit the stallion right across the eyes.

Flim charged for Spike again. The dragon managed to evade, he delivered a swift punch straight to the unicorn’s face. Big Mac shook off his bottle injury, pinning Flim down, he unleashed a flurry of punches.

By now, the club was in anarchy.Spike and his friend’s conflict ignited an already ticking time bomb. Everywhere the dragon looked, there was a fight.

Shining Armor ran over to Spike and Big Mac. “Guys we need to get out of here! The guards will show up any minute! I can’t get caught!” He levitated Spike on his back. Big Mac stopped fighting Flim.

“What about Carmel?” asked the red stallion.

Shining Armor looked over at Carmel. Him and his ‘frilly followers’ were still beating the hay out of Flam.

“LEAVE HIM!” yelled Shining, running for the back door.

“We can’t just leave him!” protested Spike. Some guards were now storming into the club.

“There’s no time!” yelled Shining, now out the door. Big Mac followed, the three didn’t stop running until they were far away from the scene.

_____________________________________________________________________

All in all, that night really ruined the club experience for Spike. Caramel was arrested, fortunately he only got community service. Unfortunately, he suffered another beating from his marefriend Sassaflash. Spike, Shining Armor, and Big Mac, all took a vow of secrecy. Nopony was to know about that night. Carmel however, wasn’t so happy that his friends abandoned him.

“Hey! Are you even listening?” asked Vinyl, waving a hoof in front of the day dreaming dragon. Spike snapped back into reality.

“Oh sorry...”said Spike. “Just thinking about something.”

Vinyl smiled “Well if it isn’t about me, stop. Now come on, it is almost my shift.”

The unicorn drug him inside the club. It looked around the same as Spike had remembered it, ignoring the seemingly extra security. Vinyl made her way to the deejay’s booth. It was an elaborate set up, turntables and monitors as far as the eye could see. Vinyl took her position in the main chair, she grabbed a microphone.

“ALRIGHT EVERYPONY, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!” she yelled. There were many cheers from the crowd. She smiled, “WELL LET’S GET THE PARTY STARTED!”

The unicorn started to blast a series of electrical bass beats. This was followed by a series of percussion beats, they were played at a rapid frequency. Spike couldn’t believe his ears, the mash up of the sounds seemed to control his body. He could feel the music go through him. A huge smile went across his face, ‘whatever this is, it’s great’ he thought.

Vinyl worked the turntables for a little while, before seemingly put the music on autoplay. She stepped down, seeming pretty satisfied with her work. Spike ran up to her excitedly.

“Vinyl, what was that!?” he asked happily.

Vinyl smiled, “That, my dear child, was Dubtrot. The best genre of music in the world!”

Spike nodded in agreement, “You were amazing!” he said. A slight blush swept his face.

“Yes yes, I know. Now come on! Let’s party!” she said. The deejay ran over to bar. “Two shots of the strongest stuff you have.” she said to the bartender.

“Comin’ right up!” he said. He grabbed a bottle from the rack and poured some into the little glass. Vinyl handed one to Spike.

“Bottoms up!” she said. Without hesitation, she drunk the cider down. Spike wasn’t so fast.

“Uhh...Vinyl, I don’t really think I could handle it.” he said sheepishly. Vinyl flagged him.

“Don’t worry, I know you can handle it.” she said confidently. Spike sighed, he brought his head back as he took the shots. It tasted more bitter than the last time.

“See?” said Vinyl Scratch. “It wasn’t so bad. BARTENDER, MORE SHOTS!”

Spike gulped, ‘more shots?’ he thought. It was going to be a long night.

_____________________________________________________________________

“So, how exactly would the ‘wubs’ clean the dishes?” asked Spike.

“Good question, the sound itself would blast the grime right off of them!” responded Vinyl.

The two had been talking for the last couple of hours. Somehow the topic turned to kitchen accessories.

“Are you sure that’s possible?” Spike asked. Vinyl shrugged, followed by an awkward silence.

Spike’s eyes wandered.

“So, what are your dreams in life?” he asked randomly.

Vinyl looked at the dragon with a puzzled expression, “Well, THAT came out of nowhere.” she said.

Spike blushing made Vinyl giggle. “Well if you must know, what I’m doing now is my dream. Making music, having fun, and partying hard!” The deejay hoof pumped the air.

Spike smiled, but wasn’t entirely satisfied with the question. “Well surely that wasn’t your dream when you were a filly?” he asked.

Vinyl lifted the goggles from her face, once again showing her beautiful eyes. “Well, I guess that wasn’t always my dream.” she said.

There was a weird tone in her voice, sadness? Spike wasn’t sure.

“So what was your original dream?” asked the dragon. Vinyl didn’t answer, she just stared into space, like she was in a trance.

“Vinyl? Are you okay?” asked Spike. Vinyl seemed to snap back into reality.

“W-What? Oh...sorry Spike, just thinking about the past.” she said. She gave a nervous chuckle that told Spike not to talk about the topic again.

The drake smiled, “Don’t worry about it.” he said. Vinyl looked up, she wore a mischievous grin.

“Hey Spike, you wanna dance?” she asked.

Spike gulped, “Uh...d-dance? I don’t know Vin-”. Was all he was able to say before he found himself pulled to the center of the dance floor.

“Come on Spike! Shake those scales!” yelled Vinyl. The unicorn started to sway with the music.

Spike just stood there, awkwardly looking around him. ‘What am I going to do?’ he thought. The dragon never danced, especially not with a mare.

“Uh, Vinyl? I don’t know what to do!” yelled Spike franticly.

“There’s nothing to know, just feel the music going through your body!” she shouted.

Spike remembered when Vinyl had first started to play music. He closed his eyes, letting the sounds wash over his mind. He felt his body move, shifting in time with the beats. His movements became more noticeable, faster, more precise.

“That’s it!” yelled Vinyl in approvement.

The drake had tuned her out. He focused his mind on his movements. Unknown to the dragon, a couple of ponies had stopped dancing, and began to observe the grooving dragon.

“Woah!” said one onlooker.

“That lizard has some moves!” said another.

By the time Spike had stopped dancing, there were many ponies gathered around him. The dragon blushed, unaware of his talents. Vinyl pushed through the crowd.

“SPIKE! That was amazing!” she shouted. She embraced him in a hug.

Spike’s blush deepened, her fur was warm and welcoming. He managed to resist caressing it with his snout.

“I g-glad you like it.” he said softly.

Vinyl’s eyes glistened, “Like it? I LOVED it!” she yelled.

“WELL I DIDN’T!” yelled a random voice from the crowd. Spike turned around to see a young unicorn. The colt was decked out in loosely fitted suit and tie, shades hid his eyes.

“What are you doing here Neon?!” asked Vinyl angrily.

The blue coated pony laughed, “Oh, what’s wrong Vinyl? Shocked to be in the presence of a real colt?” he asked.

Spike pulled Vinyl’s head towards his face, “Who is he?” he whispered.

“That’s Neon Lights, my jerk of an ex colt friend.” she said.

Spike’s jaw dropped, “You dated him!?” asked Spike, louder than he had wanted.

Neon laughed, “Who’s the dragon? Looks like somepony lost their kid!” he said. There were a few laughs from the crowd. Spike felt his cheeks heat.

“Hey! I don’t app-”

“He’s my NEW coltfriend!” interrupted Vinyl.

‘Wait, did she just say coltfriend?’

“He looks like a light weight.” teased Neon.

“I’m no lightweight!” argued Spike.

Neon took on a sly smirk, “Prove it.”

There was a short silence, only broken by an occasional ‘Ooh’,

“He doesn’t need to prove any-” started Vinyl.

“No” said Spike, it was his turn to do the interrupting.

He walked towards the unicorn, until his face was inches away from his.

“Bring it.”

It's Hard Out There For a Dragon

“Spike! Would you be a dear and hand me that box?” asked Rarity.

“Oh! Sure!” said Spike excitedly.

It was the day before Rarity’s voyage to Saddle Arabia. Her scaly admirer had the privilege of helping her pack.

“Ah! Picture it Spike, the culture, the people, it’s almost too much to bear!” squealed Rarity.

Spike managed not to roll his eyes, “Yeah...it’s SOMETHING all right.” he lied.

“Personal wardrobe manager! It’s an opportunity of a lifetime!” Rarity twirled around her shop like a ballerina.

Spike admired her, everything she did was graceful. It was the reason he had fallen for her in the first place. She was so elegant, so precise. So...perfect.

“Yeah...can’t wait for you to tell us how it was when you COME BACK.” he said, followed by a

nervous chuckle. Rarity stopped twirling, she looked at the dragon with concerned eyes.

“Are you okay Spike?” she asked.

The dragon’s conscience rambled his mind, ‘TELL HER, THIS COULD BE YOUR LAST CHANCE!’ it said.

“I...you can’t leave.” he said.

Rarity walked towards him, “What do you mean?” she asked.

Spike clenched his fist, he couldn’t just let her go. “Well, I’m gonna miss you.”he said.

Rarity’s bottom lip stuck out, in an almost mocking way. “Don’t worry, you’ll always be my Spikey Wikey.” she said.

Spike died a little inside, he hated that name. It was a pet name, a name somepony would use when talking down to someone. Was that what he was to Rarity? A pet? The annoying little brother of one of her friends?

“Is that all?” he asked. Rarity looked at him in surprise.

“I don’t understand.” said Rarity.

Spike looked back up, “Am I nothing more to you than you ‘Spikey Wikey’?” he asked.

Rarity paused, “No, you’re not. You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

‘...best friends I’ve ever had’ Spike was Rarity’s friend, and nothing more.

“Okay,” said Spike holding back tears. “I just wanted to make sure.”

Rarity’s smile came back, “That’s good! Now, there are just a couple of more things to pack.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

“You know you don’t have to do this.” said Vinyl. The deejay never thought that SHE would be the voice of reason.

Spike turned towards her, a small smirk on her face. “I know.” he said.

A huge crowd had gathered just outside THE RAMBUNCTIOUS UNICORN. In the center of the crowd, a unicorn and a dragon prepared to square off.

Despite Spike’s cocky attitude, the dragon was VERY nervous about this. Counting his brawl with the Flim Flam Brothers, he had only been in three fights. He won all of them, however he always had his friends to back him up. This was different, one on one, no interferences. Spike was on his own.

Neon Lights paced back and forth on the other side of the crowd, seemingly impatient.

“Come on! You scared or something!?” the unicorn asked.

Spike took a long sigh, it was now or never. He stepped towards the center of the ‘ring’, fists balled. Neon did the same, they stopped close enough to see the color in their eyes.

Neon laughed, “I’m going to enjoy this.” he said.

Spike remained silent, making sure to never look away from his opponent. Breaking eye contact was a sign of weakness, and Spike needed to be in a dominant position. He couldn’t lose, Vinyl’s honor was on the line.

‘He’s my NEW coltfriend!’, the words rung in the dragon’s head. He had something to prove. Something worth fighting for.

The crowd began to count down,

“TEN!” Spike’s heart was racing. “NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE!” There was no turning back now. “FOUR! THREE! TWO! Worry began overtake Spike, what if he lost? “ONE! This was it.

“FIGHT!” yelled the crowd.

Neon’s horn began to glow, a bright blast shot towards the drake. Spike didn’t have time to react, the blast was a direct hit.

“AH!” Spike yelled, clutching his chest. He shook it off, trying to remain focused. As a dragon, his rough scales deflected most of the pain.

Neon rushed forward, horn pointed down like a spear. Spike dodged at the last second, nearly being impaled.

With his back towards Spike, one of Neon’s hind legs decked the dragon on the jaw. He fell down, sprawled on his back. Neon circled the downed dragon, beaming with arrogance.

“Down all ready?” he asked. He started to stomp on the dragon’s tail. Spike bellowed in pain.

He was very disoriented, black dots danced across his eyes. The surprise uppercut took away any of the little focus he had.

Using his magic, Neon threw Spike to the other side of the crowd. The dragon ragdolled, rolling onto his stomach. He tried to regain his balance, but landed on his rear end instead. Neon charged again, this time hitting his target with the side of his horn. The hit took out Spike’s right leg, he clawed at the ground trying to ignore the pain.

Neon again levitated Spike, this time high into the air. The drake squirmed, trying to break free of the unicorn’s telekinesis. Spike suddenly smashed into the ground face first. He rolled on his back, his snout now bloody and bruised. The ringing in his ears added to the pain in his head. His body was in so much agony, every part of it was sore.

“That’s enough Neon!” yelled Vinyl. She managed to push through the crowd and galloped towards Spike.

Neon laughed, “Well that was easier than I thought! He didn’t even get a single hit in!”

Vinyl waved a hoof in front of Spike’s half dead eyes. The dragon merely groaned in response. Laid out on his back, Spike could barely make out the stars in the sky. Taking a deep breathing, he rose to his feet. He staggered, eventually holding onto Vinyl for support. His swollen left eye made him look like a raccoon.

However, it wasn’t the physical pain that hurt Spike. He had lost Vinyl’s honor, and most likely her respect. It was over in a flash, all of his mental preparation went down the drain in a instant. He was a pushover, harmless to anyone important.

“You feel good about yourself?!” yelled Vinyl at Neon Lights. “You’re so tough!”

Neon rolled his eyes, “Whatever, maybe next time you won’t date losers like this guy.”

“NEON! WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING!?” yelled a voice. A older unicorn colt pushed his way towards Neon. His silver mane and wrinkly skin wore an essence of class. He had an expensive looking shirt on with a light leather overcoat. Even from the far distance, Spike could strongly smell his cheap cologne.

When Neon saw the colt, all traces of coolness left. Instead, a look of fear took him. The kind of look of fear you get when your mother heard you curse underneath your breath. As the older colt walked closer, Neon’s breathing was heavier. If he wasn’t such a jerk, Spike would’ve felt sorry for him.

“M-M-Mister Soprano! I-er...what are you doing here?” stammered Neon. The older colt’s frown deepened.

“WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” yelled Mr. Soprano.

Neon tried to answer back, but all that came up was a high squeaking sound. By now, the large crowd was completely silent. Everypony was observing the scene.

“YOU HAVE EXACTLY 10 SECONDS TO GET BACK TO THE DEN!” yelled Mr. Soprano. His brown coat was red with anger.

Neon said nothing, but scampered away with his tail in between his legs. The older colt soon followed, leaving the crowd of onlookers alone.

There was a long silence, “Now what?” yelled somepony from the crowd. The bartender stepped towards a sill injured Spike.

“Well, normally the pony who won the fight would celebrate. But since you’re the only one still here, I guess you won?” he asked unsurely.

“Works for me!” yelled somepony else. The crowd erupted in cheer. Hoisting Vinyl and Spike in the air, they started back for the club.

“So...what should we do now?” asked Vinyl. It was time to get some of his honor back.

“Shots!” yelled Spike.

______________________________________________________________________________

It was 3AM when ‘THE RAMBUNCTIOUS UNICORN’ finally closed. A sleepy Vinyl and Spike were the last ones to leave the club. The two stumbled around outside before finally retiring to a bench on the side of the street. The cool night air made it impossible to get comfortable.

Spike’s body was still sore, but he looked much better than he did right after the fight. He wanted nothing more than to dive in his bed for some much needed sleep. Twilight was probably worried, figuring he was supposed to be back home by midnight.

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry.” said Spike. Vinyl turned her head towards him.

“Sorry? For what?” she asked.

Spike put a look of shame on his face, “I talked a big game and got my butt kicked by Neon. I totally lost your honor.”

Vinyl flagged him, “Are you kidding? You’re the only pon-er, dragon, to stand up for me like that! It was more than I could ever ask for.” She wrapped an arm around him, pulling him into a hug.

Spike smiled, “Thanks Vinyl.” he said hugging back.

Vinyl smiled, “Say, how did you manage to pay for all those drinks you ordered after the fight?” she asked.

A devilish grin went over the dragon’s face, “I may have stolen Neon’s credit card that may have had an unlimited spending limit.” he said.

Vinyl started to laugh, “Nice one!” she looked around. “Hey, you wanna go back to my place?”

Now Spike was young compared to dragons, but he was not ignorant. He knew exactly what ‘going back to my place’ meant. Spike looked away, trying to hide his red cheeks.

“Uh..okay.” he said.

______________________________________________________________________________

Turns out, Vinyl didn’t live too far from the Library. Her house was big, sporting 3 floors and a nice balcony. Spike marvelled at the fact that a deejay could afford such a house.

Vinyl opened the door and stepped inside. The warmth of the house practically pulled Spike inside. The living room was heavily decorated, posters, turntables, and other malicious looking items. One thing however Spike was shocked to see.

“I didn’t know you played the cello!” said Spike. Vinyl looked at the instrument in the corner of the room. The instrument was obviously well kept and maintained. It looked out of place in the deejay’s home.

“That’s not mine.” said Vinyl plainly. Spike wanted to ask who’s it was, but the tone that Vinyl answered suggested otherwise. It was the second time she had used that voice, a sad regretful one.

“I’ll be back, you should clean yourself up. The bathroom is the second door on the left upstairs.” said Vinyl. She disappeared into the kitchen.

Spike sighed, this date wasn’t at all what he had expected. Vinyl was nice but wasn’t necessarily what Spike had in mind. He hated to call her a bad influence, but he had gotten into a fight and drunk way more alcohol he had in one night then he had his entire life. And now he was at a mare’s house, preparing to do Celestia knows what! On the other hand, this was the most fun he ever had in his life! This wasn’t the type of lifestyle he would like to have long term, but it was fun now!

“Wait, where did Vinyl say the bathroom was? Second door on the right?

He walked up the spiral staircase to the brightly lit hallway. He opened the door on the right and entered the dark room. He felt for a light switch, FLIP.

The light revealed not a bathroom, but a bedroom. Before Spike could react, a voice startled him.

“Who are you? Why are you in my room?”

The mare on his left looked at him intently. Spike stared back, unsure as to how to react.

“I said who are you? Get out!” the mare threw a pillow at Spike, hitting him point blank on his forehead. He stumbled back before tripping and falling on the floor. Vinyl rushed upstairs.

“Spike! Are you okay?” asked Vinyl. She caught the eyes of Spike’s assailant.

There was a long pause.

After rubbing his already sore head, Spike stood back up, really seeing the mare for the first time. She was an Earth Pony. Her grey coat and long black mane were practically illuminating with elegance. She reminded Spike of Rarity, so refined in her appearance.

“What did I tell you about random guys going into my room?” yelled the mare.

Vinyl frowned, “What did you tell me? You’re not my mother!” she yelled.

“You’re right! If I were your mother, you wouldn’t bring home a different colt everynight!” yelled the mare.

Really? Every night?

“You’re just jealous that colts actually like me!” yelled Vinyl. The other mare rolled her eyes.

“Please! I could get more colts than you with one hoof tied behind my back!” she yelled.

Seeing as how this was going nowhere fast, Spike slowly backed away and back down the stairs. Whatever was between these two had nothing to do with him. He found the sofa in the living room, and sat there awkwardly. After a few more minutes of bickering, Spike heard a door slam. Vinyl walked back down stairs, her face full of tears.

“Are you okay Vinyl?” asked Spike concerned. Vinyl wiped away her tears and gave him an obvious fake smile.

“Oh, yeah. Don’t worry about it.” she said.

“Who was that anyway?” asked Spike. Vinyl looked away before turning back to answer Spike.

“Uh, that’s my roommate Octavia.” she said. “She constantly tells me what to do.”

Spike nodded, “How come you two live together if you don’t get along? Can’t one of you just move out?” he asked.

Vinyl plopped down on the couch next to Spike, “Well...it isn’t that easy. We both helped pay for the house.” she said.

“Oh, so you guys knew each other before moving in together?” asked Spike.

Vinyl nodded, “Yeah, we were roommates and college and we’ve been dating until around 2 mon-”

“What?” asked Spike.

“Hmm?” said Vinyl confused.

“What did you just say?”

“I said we dated until around 2 months ago.”

“You dated?”

“Yeah, until around 2 months ago.” said Vinyl, still unsure as to what the misunderstanding was.

“You dated?”

“Yes....”

“But...she’s a mare.”

“Yeah...”

“And you’re a mare...” argued Spike.

Vinyl giggled, “I’ve noticed!” she joked. Spike’s face was not a joke, his face was as pale as a ghost.

“Wait, you’re gay!?” asked Spike, shocked with the information he was receiving.

Vinyl paused for a moment, thinking about the question. “I wouldn’t say that.” she said. “I’m attracted to stallions too.”

Spike felt his brain shut off. How was he supposed to react to this? He didn’t have a problem with gay ponies (after all, everypony was pretty sure Rainbow Dash was one), but he was on a DATE with one.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Vinyl got off the couch, “Who could that be?”she thought out loud.

The moment she opened the door, a blast of magic hit her. She fell back unconscious on the floor. Spike jumped towards her, only to be hit by another blast. Immediately, the dragon lost control of his body.

“Make sure there is nopony else in here.” said a familiar voice. Everything went black.

Flashbacks and Future Follies

“You know what’s the worst part about this?” asked Octavia. “I deserve it.”

“Oh shut up!” yelled an annoyed Vinyl. “Nopony wants to hear your ranting.”

“No, this is what I get for involving myself with a bad crowd.” continued the Earth Pony.

“Bad crowd? The bad crowd are those snobbish Canterlot Ponies you want to be so much!” argued the deejay. “They do nothing but talk down to others.”

“Well excuse me for wanting to have a little bit of class in my life! Just because I’m not wild like you doesn’t make me a snob!” fired back Octavia.

“No, what makes you a snob is that nothing is ever good enough for you! Remember when I replaced your old cello with a new one? You didn’t even appreciate that!” yelled Vinyl.

Octavia rolled her eyes, “First of all, that cello was not old. It was an antique that was passed down for generations, a priceless artifact to my family! Second, the “cello” you got me was a bass! Besides, it was in a horrible condition.

“It’s the thought that counts!” replied Vinyl, refusing to accept fault.

“Hey guys...” interrupted Spike. “...I know you’re angry with each other, but maybe we should focus on GETTING THE BUCK OUT OF HERE!?”

The three had awoken to a cramped room with the only source of light being a small bulb hanging from the ceiling. There were no windows, only a large locked metal door. No one had any idea where they were. Hope seemed futile and tensions were high.

Spike continued to pace around the cell. The dragon although usually easygoing, couldn’t help but feel stressed. He tried to stay sane, but the two mares who had been arguing since they woke up were not helping his concentration.

“I swear Vinyl, I knew one day your reckless lifestyle would get me killed!” yelled Octavia. She sat opposite of the cell, hooves crossed in anger.

Vinyl rolled her eyes, “Whatever! At least I knew how to have fun!” she argued.

“Please! Playing that silly music of yours is anything BUT fun. A trained monkey could do it!” she yelled.

“Oh, but playing that music from one thousand years ago is?” asked Vinyl “Not even the dead enjoy it!”

“Guys please stop arguing.” pleaded the dragon. “We have to find a way to get help.”

The two mares said nothing, but stared each other down in anger. Spike slumped against the metal door, “There has to be a way out...” he said unsurely.

Vinyl walked over to him, and pulled him in for a hug. “You’ve done all you can Spike, we just have to hope for the best.”

“Hope? We don’t need hope, we need results!” yelled Octavia. Spike pulled away from Vinyl, studying the classy mare. These two dated? he thought to himself, they’re so...different.

Vinyl’s scowl returned, “At least he’s doing something!” she yelled. “You’re just sitting there complaining!”

“What do you want me to do then Vinyl? You’re the unicorn, teleport us!” said Octavia.

“You already know I can’t do teleportation!” fired back Vinyl. “Why even bring it up?”

Octavia ignored the question and instead brought her attention to Spike, the dragon felt uneasy under her disapproving eyes.

“And what about you? Can’t you melt the door with your fire breath or something?” she asked.

Spike avoided her gaze, “Well...I’m still a young dragon. I haven’t really practiced breathing fire.”

Octavia sighed, “Good job Vinyl, you bring the only dragon who can’t breathe fire! What a catch.” she said sarcastically.

“Buck off!” answered Vinyl angrily. She turned her back towards Octavia and pouted like a foal.

Spike sighed, “Guys, we have to work together if we’re going to get out of here.” he said. The two mares ignored him and started to stare each other down in anger. It’s like talking to a wall! he thought. He stood up with his arms up in defeat.

“Forget it! I guess we’ll just die in here!” he shouted, at his wit’s end.

Octavia rolled her eyes, “No need to be a filly about it.” she said rudely. Spike flagged her, not appreciating her unflattering comparison.

“I’m the filly? You just argued for two hours straight but I’m the filly!?” he asked angrily.

Octavia scowled, “Don’t talk to me like that!” she yelled.

Vinyl took off her goggles, again revealing her eyes. “He can you talk to you any way he wants to!” she yelled.

“SHUT UP!” yelled Spike, a small flame shooting out his nose. Both mares went silent at his outburst. The drake’s breathing was heavy and his fists were balled in anger.

“Are we really going to just argue until whoever took us comes? If you two hate each other, that's fine. But don't let some feud get in the way of survival!" he yelled.

Vinyl stuck her nose in the air, “We don’t hate each other...” she said, not facing Spike.

Calming down, the dragon face palmed. “Okay, you don’t hate each other, that still doesn’t solve the problem at hand.” he said.

The three sat in silence, contemplating their next move.

___________________________________________________________________________

Vinyl rushed through the front doors happily. After much planning and months of saving, she finally had a home. It was her and the mare of her dreams, together forever.

Octavia was at first skeptical, knowing Vinyl, she thought the deejay would get money from a loan shark to pay for the house. She was relieved to see that Vinyl took this seriously, seeing how she was a ‘go with the flow’ kind of mare.

The house had more space than they needed. A simple one bedroom would have done them fine. But Vinyl didn’t settle for just enough, she was always hungry. She always wanted more, and didn’t stop until she had the very best.

With Octavia’s recitals and Vinyl’s deejay gigs, they had a solid income. Being the responsible one, the cellist saved her extra cash for a rainy day. Vinyl’s money went straight to her Rock & Roll life.

Many would think that having a dignified marefriend like Octavia would calm the deejay down, many were wrong. Octavia instead acted as the spark that ignited an even more extreme Vinyl.

Once in a blue moon, Octavia would let Vinyl drag her to one of her gigs. Even then, the she never enjoyed it. She wasn't much of a drinker and the loud music hurt her ears. Not forgetting the bright flashing lights that almost sent her into a seizure.

For a while, Octavia hid her discomfort with Vinyl's partying. She hated Vinyl stumbling home 3 in the morning, drunk and irritable from partying all night. She hated having to worry about somepony taking advantage of Vinyl in her drunken state. But most of all, she hated the fact that Vinyl saw nothing wrong with her lifestyle.

Trying to convince Vinyl to calm down was pointless. Partying was in fact her special talent, despite it being a destructive one. Telling Vinyl to go against her cutie mark was like telling a Pegasus not to fly.

One particular night broke Octavia's patience.

It was a Friday night in Equestria. The Summer was always a busy time for deejays and Vinyl was no exception, she was working double shifts and running on pure adrenaline. Octavia had begged Vinyl not to go out that night, but the unicorn persisted.

Octavia had just slipped in bed after a particularly tiring day of rehearsal with the Equestria Sympathy Orchestra. It was just after midnight and she closed her eyes to drift off to Dreamland.

RING, RING

She opened her eyes and glanced towards the phone at her bed stand. With a grumble, she lifted herself up and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she said, obviously irritated.

"Yes, are you Octavia?" said an unfamiliar Colt's voice.

Octavia hesitated before answering, "Er, yes. Can I ask who's calling?".

"This is Shield Lancer with the Ponyville Guard, do you know a Ms....Vinyl Scratch?” he asked.

Octavia’s heart skipped a beat, “Yes! Is she okay!?” she asked panicky.

“Ms. Scratch was arrested for Public Drunkenness just after Midnight, this was her emergency contact number.”

“Public Drunkenness!? Is she alright?” asked Octavia.

“Quite ma’am, she’s resting in her cell.” said Lancer.

Octavia breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank Celestia.” she said.

“Can I ask your relation to Ms. Scratch, Octavia?” asked the guardsman.

“Oh...yes. I’m Vinyl's partner.” she answered. There was some shuffling on the other end.

“Okay, and are you aware that this is Vinyl’s fourth arrest this month?” asked the colt.

Octavia bit her bottom lip, “Yes.” she lied.

“Well, that kind of track record can be dangerous. Had this been a more serious crime, she could’ve served some time.” he said.

“Yes, I’m sure Vinyl knows the consequences of her actions.” Octavia lied again. “I’ll do everything in my power to make sure this never happens again.”

“I would hope so. But now we should focus on Vinyl’s bail.” said Lancer.

“B-Bail?” asked Octavia.

“Yes, currently the bail is set for 18,000 bits.”

“18,000 BITS!?” she yelled, making sure she heard correctly. “How much time do I have to pay?” she asked.

“Well...that’s just the problem.” answered Lancer. “You see, we aren’t allowed to keep prisoners in the holding cell over the weekends. You have until sunrise to pick up Ms. Scratch or she’ll be sent over to the county jail.”

Octavia sighed, “I...I understand....” she said, her voices laced with annoyance. “I’ll be there shortly.”

She calmly hung up the phone up.

______________________________________________________________________________

By the time Octavia had reached the Guard Station, she realized sleep wasn’t going to be an option. The station was 8 miles away and mostly uphill. As if to make sure Octavia would be miserable, the Weather Patrol had scheduled an early rainstorm, that the cellist was sure would turn into a tropical storm on her way back.

Equipped with only a saddlebag filled to the brim with bits, the Earth Pony finally reached the station tired from her unappreciated walk.

As she walked in, she was greeted by an obviously bored receptionist.

“Umm...can I help you Ms.?” asked the cherry red Pegasus.

Octavia tried to catch her breath before answering, “Yes..*huff*...I’m picking up someone.”

The Pegasus unfolded her arms, “Name?”

Octavia took a step forward, “Vinyl Scratch.” she answered.

The receptionist's hand traced the lines of the log, “Let’s see...Ah, Vinyl Scratch. Arrested for Public Drunkenness, Cell No.8.” She cleared her throat as she closed the book, “Her bail is set for 18,000 bits.” she said pushing a tray towards Octavia.

Octavia emptied her saddlebag into the tray, cringing at every CLINK.

The Pegasus quickly counted the small fortune, “Okay, looks like everything is here.” she said with a smile. “Just sign some papers and she’ll be all yours.”

“Thanks...” Octavia grumbled through clenched teeth. She signed the papers and took a seat on a nearby waiting area bench.

After a while a young colt made his way towards her, “Right this way Ma’am.” he said escorting her through a small passageway and down a dim hallway.

The two passed small cells, most empty, some housing shady looking characters. The colt abruptly stopped, “CELL No. 8, OPEN!” he yelled. The cell door slowly creaked open revealing a very pathetic looking VInyl.

The unconscious unicorn was propped against the other end of the cell, snoring extremely obnoxiously. Her electric blue mane was disheveled, making it look like an angry bright blue porcupine. Even from Octavia’s far distance, the reeking smell of alcohol infected her nostrils like a plague.

The guard stepped into the cell, “Ms Scratch?” he said in a singsong tone. “It’s time to gooo!”

Vinyl shuttered before raising her head and yawning, she turned towards the interruption of her sleep. “Tavi!” she said in a drunken slur. “Whaddya do’in here?”

Octavia rolled her eyes, “Come on Vinyl, let’s go home.”

______________________________________________________________________________

As a soaked Octavia walked through the front door of her home, it took every ounce of her strength to not pass out on the spot. On their way back, the rain had only increased like she had predicted. To make matters worse, Vinyl kept stumbling and forced Octavia to carry her on the Earth Pony’s back for the last 2 miles.

Vinyl stumbled into the home, falling onto the couch face down. “Uhh, I think I had to much to drink tonite.”

The understatement was enough to set Octavia off.

“OH, you think you had too many drinks?” she asked sarcastically. “How did you possibly get to that conclusion?”

“Cut me some slack, I’ll be paying for it tomorrow with the mean hangover.” she grumbled.

“Cut you some slack? Vinyl you were arrested!” Octavia argued. “It cost me 18,000 bits just to bail you out!”

Vinyl sat up on the couch and removed her goggles. Her normally beautiful eyes were bloodshot and dry. “I make more than 18,00 bits a night, I’ll pay ya back.”

“That’s not the point!” yelled Octavia, moving closer to her estranged marefriend. “You’re an...ALCOHOLIC!” the words felt like acid on her tongue.

Vinyl rolled her eyes, “Babe I-”

“No! Don’t ‘babe’ me! You have a problem Vinyl, the sooner you realize that, the sooner I can help you overcome it.”

“I don’t have a problem! Neon dared me to drink some rival deejay under the table, and I obliged.” reasoned the unicorn.

“Why am I not surprised Neon had something to do with this?” asked Octavia. “I don’t like you spending time with one of your Ex’s.”

“Don’t tell me you're jealous?” asked Vinyl. “Me and Neon stopped dating years ago.”

“I’m not jealous!” lied Octavia. “But it is obvious he’s a bad influence on you.”

“I can take care of my self Octavia, I don’t need any role models.” argued Vinyl, she made her way towards the kitchen but was blocked by Octavia.

“The four arrests this month say otherwise! Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, blocking the tears trying to escape.

“Because I knew you’d freak out like you are now!” yelled the deejay.

“When are you gonna start taking responsibility for your actions?” asked Octavia becoming flustered. “What if the Orchestra finds out about this? I may be looked at as uncouth!”

“Oh! So this is what it’s really about, you’re ashamed of me!” responded Vinyl.

Octavia gave her a look of distress, obviously hurt from her accusations. “How could you say that? I’ve never been ashamed of you!” she yelled, ignoring the lone tear falling down her cheek.

“You want to change me into some little preppy snob like you!” Vinyl yelled, immediately regretting it.

Octavia held her hoof to her mouth in shock, tears freely flowing down her face.

Vinyl tried to give her a comforting hoof but was cast aside. “Octavia, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean t-”

“No Vinyl.” interrupted Octavia. “You made it clear your true feelings. I was wrong to try and change you, continue partying, see if I clear.” she looked the deejay in the eyes. “But I can’t watch you kill yourself like this, so do it alone.”

Without waiting for a response, Octavia rushed past Vinyl and up the stairs.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Spike never felt as helpless as he did now. Being friends with some of the most powerful mares in Equestria would make anyone feel useless, but even then, Spike made an effort to help.

However as time passed and tension grew, Spike felt a deepening level of failure. His date had turned into a disaster on multiple levels.

“I’m hungry...” complained Vinyl, growing more and more impatient.

“We’re all hungry, stop bellyaching.” answered an annoyed Octavia.

“Who do ya think ponynapped us?” asked Spike, breaking his silence.

“I’m not sure, do any of you have any enemies?” asked the cellist.

“Well...it could be Gilda, but that’s unlikely.” thought Spike aloud. “Then there’s the Flim Flam Brothers, they probably want revenge from this bar fight we were in. Hmm...the Changeling Queen could be invading, or maybe Discord got loose again!”

“So pretty much anypony then?” asked the frustrated Earth Pony. Spike gave her a sheepish grin. Octavia sighed, “What about you Vinyl?”

“Huh?” asked the distracted unicorn. “Yeah, I owe tons of ponies money.” she said certainly.

Octavia face hoofed at her cell mates’ possible adversaries.

Vinyl suddenly turned her attention on Spike, “Have you really fought against all those ponies?” she asked.

Spike blushed at the unnecessary flattery, “Well, my friends did most of the fighting. But...I did help save the Crystal Empire by myself!”

“You’d think a hero like yourself would never be single.” interrupted Octavia.

Spike didn’t know rather to take the statement as an insult or compliment, so he just went with the latter.

“Well, for a long time I’ve been interested in one mare...” he began, memories of his childhood haunting him. “...but it wasn’t meant to be.” he quickly added.

“Was that the one you were talking about before?” asked Vinyl. “I think her name was....Ranmady?”

“Rarity.” Spike corrected. “And yes, she’s the one.”

“What happened?” asked Octavia.

“The poor guy never got to tell her how he felt. She’s married to some Saddle Arabian Prince.” answered Vinyl.

“No.”

“Huh?” asked Octavia.

“No...that was a lie.” revealed Spike.

“What do you mean?” asked Vinyl.

“...I did tell her.”

______________________________________________________________________________

‘TELL HER, THIS COULD BE YOUR LAST CHANCE!’ it said.

“I...you can’t leave.” he said.

Rarity walked towards him, “What do you mean?” she asked.

Spike clenched his fist, he couldn’t just let her go. “Well, I’m gonna miss you.”he said.

Rarity’s bottom lip stuck out, in an almost mocking way. “Don’t worry, you’ll always be my

Spikey Wikey.” she said.

“Is that all?” he asked. Rarity looked at him in surprise.

“I don’t understand.” said Rarity.

Spike looked back up, “Am I nothing more to you than you ‘Spikey Wikey’?” he asked.

Rarity paused, “No, you’re not. You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

‘...best friends I’ve ever had’ Spike was Rarity’s friend, and nothing more.

“Okay,” said Spike holding back tears. “I just wanted to make sure.”

Rarity’s smile came back, “That’s good! Now, there are just a couple of more things to pack.”

“.....”

“If we hurry now, we’ll even have some time to grab a bite to eat.”

“.......”

“Where would you like to go Spike?”

“......”

“Spike?”

“...why?”

“Excuse me?”

“WHY HAVE YOU TORTURED ME FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS!?” yelled Spike.

Rarity turned to face the drake, “Spike, what are you talking about?” she asked.

“Rarity...I love you. I always have loved you. My love for you was so strong, that I focused every second of my free time in your Boutique, just so I could spend time with you. It was your love that turned me back to normal, when I was on a greed fueled rampage around the city. I would sacrifice my well being just to see you smile. I’d pay any fortune just to hear you laugh. And I would walk into the hells of Tartarus if it meant making you happy. It would make me the happiest dragon to ever live if we were together. So I’m begging you, don’t go to Saddle Arabia. Please...don’t leave me alone.”

The room’s silence was deafening. Spike’s confession had unleashed tons of emotional frustration.

Rarity’s face was unreadable. For the first time, Spike saw her completely emotionless. Soon however, Rarity’s look changed. She instead took on a predatory look. A look a manticore gave its prey right before his teeth pierced its neck.

“You must be joking.”

There's Got to be a Morning After...

Spike felt as though the whole world had stopped. His ears had heard Rarity’s response perfectly, but his mind couldn’t process it. Surely she didn’t say what he thought she said, that was just unfathomable. There was no way she would’ve said that. Not Rarity, the Element of Generosity.

But as Spike’s face tilted up to meet Rarity’s, the dragons worst fears were confirmed.

“Excuse me?” he managed to choke out through his disbelief. “What part of this seems like a joke to you?” he asked.

Rarity cleared her throat before answering, “Spike...listen to yourself. You couldn’t possibly think you had a chance with me.”

The tip of the blade pierced through the drake’s scales. Impact zone right below his right pectoral muscle.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done, and you’ll make some mare very happy one day.”

The cold steel tastes warm blood as the blade pushes another inch in Spike’s chest, growing closer to its target.

“I don’t want to be with ‘some mare’, I love you!” he argued. “How can you be so cruel?”

“A big reason I kept asking you to help me around the boutique, was because I enjoyed your company. I’m not cruel!” argued back the unicorn.

“I-d-d” stuttered Spike, he took a deep breath before he continued. “How long have you known?” he asked.

“It was kind of obvious Spike, you weren’t very discreet.” answered Rarity, returning to pack her things.

“So you just led me on, when you knew you’d never be with me?” asked Spike, feeling his tears start to return.

Rarity sighed, seemingly annoyed with the whole conversation. “Spike, please try to understand where I’m coming from. I never meant to hurt you and if I did, I’m truly sorry.”

The apology fell on deaf ears, “So what were you trying to do? Get free help from one of your friend’s lackey?!” he asked angrily.

“Spike, please calm down!” pleaded Rarity “I still want to be friends with you.”

The words sent the knife into his heart. His love was gone, and instead replaced with rage.

“Friends?! I have enough friends Rarity, I don’t need anymore friends!” he yelled, pacing back in forth. “Why won’t you love me? Why aren’t I good enough for you?”

Rarity shuffled, “Spike...please-”

“Tell me!” yelled the drake. “You owe me that much...”

Rarity levitated a chair for her to sit in. She sighed, “Spike, I’m planning on becoming an International Fashion designer, what would society think if I were dating a...dragon?”

The way she paused before saying dragon, it was like she was talking about a pile of dung.

“Society?” Spike repeated. “Buck Society!”

Rarity gasped, “Spike! Such language shouldn’t be used in the presence of a lady!” she scolded.

“There are a couple of words I’m thinking of to describe you, ‘lady’ isn’t one of them!” he responded quickly.

Rarity gasped again, before scowling. “Spike...maybe it’s time for you to leave.” she said.

Spike stared into her eyes, Why? he thought. Why would you do this to me? He quickly made his way out of the boutique, slamming the door behind him.

____________________________________________________________________________

Spike quickly wiped the lone tear making its way down his cheek. He returned his attention to the two mares, still marveling from his story.

“Wow...” began Vinyl. “That was horrible.”

Spike gave a sad chuckle, “Yeah...But, it wasn’t meant to be.” he responded.

“Still! She had no right to use you that way!” protested a teary eyed Octavia. “The nerve of some ponies...”

Spike took a seat on the floor, “Don’t worry about it.” he said. “For now we should focus on getting out of here.”

Octavia sighed at the reminder of their predicament. “Anyone have any ideas?” she asked.

The answering silence was unsettling.

“AAH! I can’t take it anymore!” yelled Vinyl. She took a full sprint towards the door in an attempt to tackle it. It failed miserably.

“Ow!” complained the unicorn, rubbing her now sore side. Spike managed to suppress a giggle.

“I wish Twilight was here.” he said. “She always knows what to do." The dragon’s eye twitched at a sudden realization, “Oh man, I was supposed to be home by midnight! She’s probably freaking out!” he yelled.

Octavia sighed, “I’m sure getting foal napped will be a legitimate excuse.” she assured. Spike’s expression told her that he wasn’t convinced. “We’re doomed, aren’t we?” she asked, face hoofing.

Spike stared blankly at the ground, he couldn’t think of a single way out of their situation.

“What time do you think it is?” asked Vinyl, interrupting his thoughts.

Spike shrugged, “I’m not sure how long we were unconscious.” he said. “For all we know it could be morning all ready.”

“You think anyone will notice that we’re gone?” asked Vinyl.

______________________________________________________________________________

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

Rainbow Dash opened one eye, flinching at the sound of every THUMP at the door.

She glanced at the clock on her nightstand, It’s 5 in the morning! Somepony better be dying! she thought as she climbed out of bed.

The Pegasus lazily glided down the steps and towards the door of her cottage, still being abused with frantic hooves.

She opened the door to be greeted by an obviously flustered Twilight. The unicorn’s hair was unkempt and her eyes were red from staying up all night. The mare had knocked on the door so fast she was having a tough time trying to catch her breath.

“Rainbow! Spike isn’t home yet, I think he may have been foal napped!” she yelled in between pants.

Rainbow Dash face hoofed, “Seriously? You woke me up for that!?” asked the Pegasus angrily. “I thought it as something important.”

“This is important!” debated the unicorn. “Something could have happened to him! He might be rotting in a cell as we speak!”

Rainbow Dash sighed, “He wasn’t foal napped.” answered the Pegasus calmly.

Twilight gave her a unconvinced look, “How do you know?” she asked.

“Listen Twilight, Spike probably just got lucky.” suggested Rainbow.

“How is getting foal napped lucky?” asked Twilight.

“Nooo, he got lucky” she repeated, giving her friend a playful punch. “Ya know, he scored?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, earning another face hoof from her cyan friend.

“Spike is getting some, ya know?” asked the Pegasus. “Cleaning the gutters? Solving the puzzle? Trojan Horsing?”

There was a pause.

“Is this slang?” asked Twilight. “I’m not familiar with much slang.”

Rainbow’s eye twitched, “Oh for the love of-HE’S RUTTING!” she yelled. “SPIKE IS HAVING SEX!”

Twilight’s eyes widened, her cheeks blushed violently. “B-B-But, he’s only a baby dragon!” she squealed.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but Spike has grown a lot over the years Twi. He’s an adult by pony standards.” responded Rainbow in an attempt to calm her friend down.

Twilight sighed, “Are you sure you’re right?” she asked. “I have a really bad feeling he’s in trouble.”

“No need to worry Twilight, Vinyl is infamous for taking it all the way on the first date. That’s why I set Spike up with her.” insured the Pegasus.

Twilight scowled, “What do you mean?” she asked through clenched teeth.

Rainbow gulped, “Err...I figured a good screwing would get Spike’s mind off of Rarity...” she answered sheepishly.

“SO YOU SET HIM UP WITH SOME RANDOM FLOOZY!?” yelled the lavender mare.

Rainbow took a step back into her house, “Heh...it sounded like a good idea at the time.” she answered sheepishly. Twilight advanced towards her with a glowing horn.

The Pegasus's screams could be heard throughout Ponyville.

______________________________________________________________________________

“I’m thinking of.....something loud!”

“Is it Dubtrot?” guessed Spike.

“Aww, how did you know?” asked Vinyl. “Okay fine, I’m thinking of something.....awesome!”

“Is it Dubtrot?” asked Octavia, getting annoyed by the second.

“Dang! Alright, I’m thinking of something...epic!” said Vinyl.

“Dubtrot?” guessed Spike again.

“Wow! You guys are good at this!” exclaimed Vinyl.

“Maybe you should think of something else besides STINKIN’ DUBTROT!” yelled Octavia angrily.

Vinyl frowned, “Fine! I’m thinking of something annoying!” she replied, looking directly at the cellist.

“Oh yeah?” asked Octavia, taking a step towards the deejay. “Well I’m thinking of something obnoxious!”

It was Vinyl’s turn to take a step forward, “Well I’m thinking of something snobby!” she yelled, inching closer.

Spike watched from the sidelines, rolling his eyes at every insult. It’s like a broken record with these two! he thought. If we don’t get out of here soon, my head’s gonna explode from frustration!

“SO,” yelled Spike, interrupting the quarreling mares. “How did you two meet anyhow? Doesn’t seem like you’d be the best of friends.”

Octavia sighed, “We met in college, actually.” she explained, before sticking her tongue out at Vinyl.

“College?” asked Spike, “I didn’t know Ponyville had a college.”

“It doesn’t...” responded Vinyl. “We both went to the University of Manehattan.” The unicorn smiled, “Those university days were the best.” she said, longing for the nostalgia.

Octavia also smiled, before frowning towards Vinyl. “Yeah, it was back when you actually cared about our relationship!” she bellowed.

Spike rubbed his temple, “Yeah about that, why exactly did you two break up?” he asked.

Vinyl shoved a hoof towards Octavia, “Ms. Control Freak over here tried to make my life as boring as her’s!” she yelled.

Octavia scowled, “Maybe if Vinyl wasn’t so uncivilized, our relationship would have worked.” she said. “She had a between me and partying, it’s obvious what she chose.” Spike heard her voice break towards the end of her sentence.

“A choice? You were asking me to go against my Cutie Mark! What was I supposed to do?” asked Vinyl, inching closer to Octavia. Spike heard her voice breaking as well, it pained him to see the two mares sad.

The dragon stood up, Time for all of those stupid psychology books Twilight made me read to pay of. he thought. “Maybe you two really just misunderstood each other.” he suggested.

Octavia raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, Vinyl thinks that you wanted to change her into something she’s not. Is that true?” asked the dragon.

“Celestia no!” replied the cellist. “Although she’s rough around the edges, her personality is what makes her special.” she said, smiling towards Vinyl. The unicorn turned away, blushing at Octavia’s smile.

Spike smiled as well, relieved to see the little progress he was making. This therapist stuff was easier than he thought. “And Vinyl, Octavia believes you care more about partying than you do about her. Is that true?” he asked.

“No way dude!” responded Vinyl. “Octavia is important to me, even more important than Dubtrot....and that means a lot!” she yelled. It was Octavia’s turn to blush.

Spike sat back down and looked toward the cell ceiling. He sighed, “You guys were lucky enough to find true love.” he said staring off into space. “Believe me when I tell you that I know what it’s like to feel under appreciated.”

“But you helped save the world a bunch of times!” pointed out Vinyl. “You’re insanely appreciated.”

Spike sighed, “Yeah, but.... It just feels like....I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.” he said. “It’s like, if my life was a T.V. show, I’d be a talking dog or some other bad cliché. I’m not really important in the long run.” The dragon looked towards the two mares, “Make sure you don’t lose what is important to you.”

Octavia took Vinyl’s hoof into her own. “He’s right Vinyl, I apologize for trying to change you.” she said.

“No...It’s my fault.” admitted the unicorn. “I went a little too far with my partying...” she said, removing her goggles yet again. The water gathering in her eye combined with the angle of the light, made her burgundy eyes sparkle. As well as making Octavia’s heart melt.

The two shared a hug.

Spike gently banged his head against the wall.So much for the date I guess.... he thought. Despite his bad luck with the mares, he was happy the two mares were reunited. Vinyl noticed Spike by himself,

“You get over here too.” she said, levitating Spike over for a group hug.

KRATCH!

The sound of metal against metal interrupted their embrace. The large metal door slowly started to open.

______________________________________________________________________________

Rainbow Dash angrily trudged through the cold air towards the Ponyville Guard Station. Her flank was still sore from her purple unicorn friend’s reprimanding.

“Geez Twilight, you didn’t need to attack me!” she said.

Twilight trotted next to her, rolling her eyes at her friend’s complaining. “For the tenth time Dash, I’m sorry.” she said. “It is your fault for putting Spike in danger, ya know.”

“Hey, I was trying to help him out.” she stumbled on a rock. “Dang it! Why is the station so far away?”

“I don’t know mayb- Hey! Is that my brother?”

Rainbow Dash and Twilight looked towards the Guard Station, sure enough, Shining Armor stood there giving orders to other troops. The captain caught a glimpse of his sister.

“Twiley?” he asked in confusion. The unicorn ran up to him and gave a quick hug.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

Shining Armor removed his helm, “My troops and I are helping the Ponyville Guard with a bust.” he said.

“A bust?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Who are they trying to catch?”

“His name is Luigi Soprano,” explained Shining. “He’s an important head in the Unicorn Mafia.”

“The Unicorn Mafia?” asked Twilight. “What’s he doing in Ponyville?”

Shining Armor sighed, “He was nearly caught at a drug raid in Manehattan, he fled to Ponyville to escape capture.”

“I still don’t understand, why would he come to Ponyville?” asked Twilight.

“Well, this was honestly one of the last places we would look for the guy.” said Shining. “In fact, the only reason we found out he was here, was because of a tip from a marefriend of one of his lackeys.” Shining put a hoof to his face in thought, “You may know her actually, I think her name was....Vinyl Scratch?”

Both Rainbow and Twilights’ faces went deathly pale.

“Vinyl Scratch?” asked Rainbow Dash. “As in, the deejay?”

“Yeah that’s her,” said Shining. He noticed their shocked expressions, “What’s wrong?”

“Rainbow Dash!” yelled a now flustered Twilight. “You set Spike up with a mob member’s ex marefriend!?” she asked.

“I swear I didn’t know!” yelled Rainbow Dash.

“Wait a second,” interrupted Shining. “Spike’s on a date with this mare?” he asked.

“Yes!” yelled Twilight. “He left with her last night and I have no idea where he is!”

Just then, a guardspony walked up to Shining.

“Sir!” he said with a salute. “We have orders to move out in exactly 30 seconds, sir!”

Shining cursed under his breath, “I’m really sorry Twiley, I wish I could help but I’m head of this operation.” He sighed, “I promise to send some troops to the library after we’re done,” he kissed her on the forehead. “Be safe and stay indoors.”

Shining turned towards his soldiers, “PREPARE TO MOVE OUT!" he yelled, trotting away from Twilight.

The purple mare gave a defeated sigh, Rainbow Dash clicked her teeth in annoyance.

"What now?" asked the Pegasus. Twilight thought for a moment.

"We're going to have to save Spike by ourselves," she said. "And I have a plan!"

______________________________________________________________________________

Two huge unicorn stallions stood through the open door with angry eyes. Immediately, Vinyl rushed one an attempt to make an escape. Unfortunately, the stallion easily shrugged her attack off. The other stallion then started to levitate the trio up and out of the room.

"Hey! Put me down you ruffian!" yelled Octavia, trapped in the unicorn's aura.

Vinyl tried to levitate herself out, but the stallion's magic was way more powerful than her's. Spike squirmed with all his might, but he too wasn't able to escape the spell.

The three were carried up a flight of stairs and into a brightly lit room. The room was decorated in extremely gaudy decorations and furniture. Paintings of various landscapes lined the wall, and a huge crystal chandelier illuminated a yellowish glow that strained Spike's eyes. Towards the back of the room was a huge golden throne, dazzled with many fine diamonds and gems. The room was also filled with unicorn stallions who looked eerily similar to the two that had brought them up.

The unicorn stallion suddenly stopped his spell, dropping the three on their faces.

"Ow!" exclaimed Vinyl, rubbing her cheek. "You really could've gave us a warning!" she yelled.

The stallion remained silent, and instead levitated a large amount of rope towards them.

"Hey! What the heck are you doing?!" asked Spike as the stallion started to tie him up.

"Hey mister, watch where you put those ropes!" protested Octavia as she was bound.

After the three were properly restrained, they heard the sound of hoof steps behind them.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat brought in!" said a familiar voice behind them.

Neon Lights slowly walked into their view with a smug look on his face.

"Neon!" yelled Vinyl with venom in her voice. "Let us go you bastard!"

Neon scoffed, "What's wrong Vinyl? You used to like being tied up when we were together." he asked.

Various images of Vinyl and Neon in some weird BDSM getup flashed through Spike's brain.

"As inappropriate as that comment was," started Octavia. "Do you mind explaining why you foal napped us?" she asked.

Neon turned towards the Earth Pony, "You must be the mare Vinyl left me for." he said. "You can really do so much better than Vinyl, ya know?"

"Hey Captain Douche!" yelled Spike. "What the hay do you want from us?" he asked angrily.

Neon scowled, then delivered a ferocious punch to the drake's face.

"You know damn well what I want!" he yelled. "The credit card that you stole from me!"

"The credit card?" asked Spike, still reeling from the punch.

"Yes, the credit card!" Neon yelled back. "What did you do with it!?"

"Uhh....."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm gonna get laid! I'm gonna get laid! sung Spike inside his head. The dragon couldn't believe Vinyl had invited him back to her place. Snips and Snails always lied about their success with the mares, Spike couldn't wait to tell them that he had been actually been with one.

The growl of his belly interrupted his fantasies, I can't make sweet, sweet love to Vinyl on an empty stomach! he thought. He glanced around the dark streets of Ponyville for a place of nourishment. Aha! he cheered internally, spotting a 24 hour convenience store.

"I'll be right back Vinyl!" he yelled bolting into the store, not even waiting for the unicorn's response.

The store was incredibly small, and the only source of light was a flickering fluorescent bulb. Spike spotted an apple cart and picked 5 of the plumpest Red Deliciouses he could find. He walked to the cashier to find the worker fast asleep behind the counter.

The dragon cleared his throat, stirring the dark grey Earth Pony from his sleep. The stallion looked at Spike, "Can I help you?" he asked in an almost zombie like tone.

Spike rolled his eyes, "Just the apples," he said annoyed. The cashier looked at Spike's items,

"That'll be 6 bits, sir." he said dryly.

Spike reached into one of his scale pockets, his eyes widened at the realization that that it was empty. He checked the other pocket, it too was empty with the exception of the credit card he stole from Neon.

"Here," he said handing the stallion the card.

The cashier glanced at the card, "I'm sorry sir but cash only." he said plainly.

Spike sighed, "Look...Baritone," he began, reading the colt's name tag. "You can have the card if I can have the apples."

The stallion said nothing, but gave Spike a long unblinking stare.

"Hello?" asked Spike waving a hand in front of him. "Anypony home?"

"Uh...yeah, whatever." finally answered the stallion. He took the card and prepared to go back to sleep.

"O-kay," said Spike, walking out the door with his products.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You traded the credit card for some apples!" yelled Neon in disbelief.

"So that's were you got the apples!" exclaimed Vinyl. "I thought you stole them from a hobo or something."

If Octavia wasn't restrained, she would've face hoofed.

"You stupid dragon," yelled Neon, becoming flustered. "That was Mr. Soprano's credit card! If he finds out I'm the one who stole it, he'll-"

"Kill you?" asked a voice behind Neon.

The stallion from before stepped towards Neon with an angry glare. The smell of his cologne suffocated Spike, it was even stronger now that he was closer.

"M-M-Mr. S-Soprano!" stuttered Neon. "I-I can e-explain!" he squealed.

"No need Neon," said Mr. Soprano calmly. "I've heard quite enough."

"You're not mad?" asked Neon wearily.

They silver maned stallion smiled, "I'm not mad," he said.

Neon sighed in relief.

"I'M ABSOLUTELY LIVID! HOW DARE YOU STEAL FROM ME YOU LITTLE RUNT!? I'LL HAVE YOUR HIDE FOR THIS!" yelled Soprano. Spike watched in amazement how Neon shrunk under the stallion's wrath.

"Psst! Spike!" whispered Octavia. "While they're distracted, use your claw to cut out of these ropes!" she suggested.

Spike mentally slapped himself, why hadn't he thought of that?

The dragon unsheathed one of his claws and began to saw through the rope.

"I'll deal with you later!" yelled Mr. Soprano, finished with chewing out Neon. The young unicorn scurried to a corner of the room with his tale in between his legs.

Mr. Soprano turned towards the trio, "I'm sorry you had to see that." he apologized.

"It's okay," assured Vinyl. "That was hilarious!"

Octavia sighed at her mare friend's cheerful attitude. "If I may ask, who exactly are you?" questioned the mare.

"Oh, where are my manners?" asked Mr. Soprano. "The name's Luigi Soprano, assistant Don of the Unicorn Mafia." he answered.

"The Unicorn Mafia!?" asked Octavia. "Wait, where are we?"

"You are in the basement of our super secret hideout," said Mr. Soprano. "Personally, I'm sorry that Neon got you three all wrapped up in this situation."

For a mob boss, he isn't all that bad... thought Spike, still sawing through the rope.

"So...exactly what are you going to do with us?" asked the drake.

Mr. Soprano put a hoof to his chin in thought, "Well...I'm gonna turn the two mares into glue," he started.

Vinyl and Octavia's' jaws dropped.

"And for you....." he turned towards one of his unicorn mobsters. "How much do you think dragon scales are worth?" he asked him.

"I don't know sir, probably a lot." answered the lackey plainly.

Mr. Soprano turned towards Spike, "Yeah, I'm gonna sell your scales to the Black Market."

Spike gulped, "But...I-I need those scales." he quivered.

Mr. Soprano shrugged, "It's an unfair world kid," he said simply. "Hey Tony! Get these three outta here!" he yelled.

Another large unicorn stallion dragged the three towards another room. "NOOOOO!" cried the trio.

Suddenly a small explosion shook the room. A large amount of smoke filled the small palace, making everypony cough and wheeze in an attempt to get air.

"It's a sting!" yelled one of the Unicorn mobsters. Spike saw a large group of guardspony storming into the room, soon a massive brawl broke out between them and the mobsters.

Seeing as how everypony was distracted, Spike yanked on the half-way torn ropes, freeing himself. Out the corner of the dragon's eye, he saw Neon slip out of a guardspony's grip, and through a back door.

Spike scowled, There's no way I'm gonna let Neon escape! he thought. Summoning the last of his bravery (and shutting off his common sense), Spike jumped over a fighting mobster and after Neon.

"Spike wait!" called Vinyl. "What are you doing!" she asked.

Spike turned his head towards the deejay, making sure to not slow down. "I'm being a bad ass!" he cried over his shoulder.

The door led to a high platform, a acid like green liquid pit bubbled below. On the other side of the walkway was a door, that Neon was trying to open.

"Hey Neon!" yelled Spike. The sharp dressed Unicorn turned around,

"What do you want lizard?" he asked. "If you're here to capture me you're gonna have to kill me, 'cause I ain't goin' back to prison!" he cried.

"I'm here to finish this!" yelled Spike, I always wanted to say that!

Neon smiled, "What another ass whoopin'?" he asked smugly. "Fine, I'll give ya one!"

Wrapping It Up

"This was your genius plan?" asked Rainbow Dash angrily. "Because it's not a very good one!"

"At least I thought of one," criticized Twilight. "Now stop complaining and put your mustache on!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes, but put on the obviously fake prop mustache. "You know, for you being such an egghead, I would have guessed you would have thought of a better plan than 'follow my brother and his troops, dress up like mobsters, and rescue Spike from the evil floozy'!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

"Whatever! Now be quiet, somepony is coming."

The two mares were ducked behind a dumpster in the alleyway of the 'The Rat Din', Equestria's number one mafia themed family restaurant. A restaurant that was also apparently hosting real mobsters.

Twilight and Rainbow Dash were both dressed in trench coats and fedoras. Rainbow Dash sported a fake handlebar mustache, while Twilight rocked a greasy goatee. If someone had to describe the two, they would call them "facia brutte" (which is mafia talk for "sharp dressed gentlecolts").

A guard walked pass the dumpster, but didn't notice the two cross dressing mares.

The two rose from their hiding spot.

Twilight charged her horn, "Hang on to me Rainbow, we're going in!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Neon and Spike stared each other down from across the platform. The dragon's palms were moist from sweat, he had nothing to lose and everything to prove.

Neon observed the dragon with a smug grin, "You gonna make a move?" he asked. "I don't have all day to be kicking your ass!"

The mockery was enough to set Spike off. He charged towards Neon, to only be intercepted by a hoof punch.

"Ow!" yelped Spike, staggering back from the blow. Neon delivered another punch, this time to Spike's stomach. The hit was so hard, Spike was sent hurtling back over to the other side of the platform. He bit his lip to stop himself from puking bile.

Neon took a slow, cocky walk over towards the dragon. Spike was curled up on the floor, holding his gut.

"Wow, this is even easier than last time!" remarked Neon, growing closer towards Spike. He put his head downwards so that he was at eye level with the dragon. "Could it be that you actually got weaker since the last-"

KRATCH!

Spike clawed Neon's face as he was leaning in towards him. Neon staggered back, screaming in pain.

The dragon attempted to rush Neon, but the unicorn sent him flying with his magic. Spike again landed roughly on the other side of the platform, his right arm now throbbing in pain.

Neon recovered from the dragon's slashing, the left side of his face sporting 4 nasty scars. "You're going to pay for that!" he threatened through clenched teeth.

Spike rose from the floor, trying as best as he could to ignore his sore body. When he saw Neon's face, he cracked a smile.

"Hey Neon," called Spike. "You look just like Dos Face from the Batmare comics!"

"I'll kill you!" snarled Neon. He charged at Spike, horn pointed like a spear. Spike dodged to the left, crashing into the metal barrier of the platform. He felt the warmth of the green substance below, it was incredibly hot, even from the far distance Spike was from it. He shuddered at the thought of falling in.

Neon recovered from his failed attack, he threw a jab that hit Spike in the jaw. The dragon stumbled back onto the barrier, making it give off an unsettling creak.

Neon through another punch. Spike ducked under and countered with a punch of his own. Neon winced, but managed to throw another punch that hit Spike's side. The drake's breath was knocked out of him, he dropped to his knees as he started to hyperventilate.

FLIP!

Spike turned his head towards Neon, the stallion held a switchblade and had a sinister look on his face.

"You've been a pain in my ass for far to long." he said. He levitated Spike off the ground and facing him. "It's time I finished you for good!"

Neon jabbed the knife with full force into Spike's abdomen, only to be met with the resistance of a brick wall.

"W-What!?" shouted Neon, releasing his magic in shock.

Spike checked himself for injuries, before giving Neon a cheeky smile. "You forgot about one thing, Neon...." he started. Spike quickly grasped Neon's neck and pulled him in close, inches away from his face. He leaned towards Neon's ear, "I'm a bucking dragon." Spike lurched his head forward delivering a nasty headbutt to Neon. The unicorn held his face in pain.

Taking advantage of the his dropped guard, Spike tackled Neon and unleashed a flurry of punches.

"This is for being a jerk! This is for treating Vinyl like crap! This is for being taller than me! This is for wearing sunglasses at night like an asshole!" Spike shouted, ending every sentence with a punch to the face. "And this is for kicking my ass!" Spike delivered his last punch with as much force as he could muster. Neon's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Spike looked at Neon in disbelief. "I...won?" he asked himself. "I...won. I won! I WON!" he cheered. The dragon got off of the unicorn, "Yes! I did it!" he cried.

Suddenly a purple bright light filled the room. Two weird looking ponies collapsed on top of another in the middle of the walkway.

"Ow!" cried one of the ponies. "Can you warn me next time you're gonna just teleport like that?!"

"I said, 'hang on to me'!" complained the other. "Where are we anyway?"

Spike recognized the two, "Twilight? Rainbow Dash? What are you two doing here?" he asked.

Twilight turned towards the dragon, "Spike!" she cried. She galloped over for a hug, "We're here to rescue you from that evil floozy Vinyl Scratch!"

Spike pulled away from the hug, "What're you talking about?" he asked, confused. "I wasn't foal napped by Vinyl."

"Hey Spike," suddenly called Rainbow Dash. "Who's that guy behind you?" she asked.

"What guy-" Spike was struck with a hard punch as he turned around.

Neon Lights (minus a broken pair of sunglasses and a busted nose) stood there with steam coming out of his nostrils. In a swift motion, he grabbed Twilight and put his switch blade over her throat.

"Listen here you damn lizard!" he shouted. "I'm going to walk out of here and you're going to leave me alone. Because if you don't, the mare's gonna get cut!" He backed towards the platform's barrier, "So what's it gonna be!?"

Spike rose to his feet, "Twilight! Teleport away!" he shouted.

Twilight continued to struggle with Neon, "I can't! He's blocking my magic with his magic!" she responded. Twilight's horn would glow, but only produce a little magic discharge.

"Anti-magic spell!" said Neon. "Mobster 101!"

Spike growled, he was powerless and he knew Neon knew it.

The unicorn laughed, "No wonder Rarity wouldn't go out with you!" he said. "You're nothing but a weakling!"

Spike's heart dropped down into his stomach, "How do you know about that?" he asked in disbelief.

Neon cracked a grin, "Oh, did I forget to mention that there were video cameras in your cell?" he asked. "We heard everything!"

Spike put his head down in shame, much to Neon's amusement.

"Oh man!" cried Neon with glee. "Me and the boys never laughed harder than when we heard your sob story. You really are pathetic!"

Spike took on a nasty scowl, "Shut up!" he yelled.

"Ya know, I find it hilarious that you got the two lesbos back together, but you left yourself alone!" Neon continued. "Poor little Spike, will you ever find true love?" he mocked.

Spike balled his fists in anger, he slowly started to grind his teeth together. "I said shut up!" he yelled.

Neon continued to laugh, "You are nothing but a worthless bastard!" he said. "Completely worthless!"

"Worthless?" Spike repeated. "I'm worthless?" he asked himself.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The soft taps of hooves against his door, was the only thing that stopped Spike's tears.

Twilight slowly opened the door and poked her head inside, "Spike?" she called. "Are you okay?"

The question would've set Spike off, but coming from Twilight only made him more depressed.

"Why would she reject me?" he asked. "After all I've done for her, how could she say no?"

Twilight took a seat on his bed, she sighed. "Spike...love is complicated." she began.

Spike turned towards her angrily, "Don't give me that crap, Twilight!" he yelled. "She certainly didn't..."

Twilight put a hoof on Spike's back, "Well then, what was the reason Rarity gave you?" she asked.

Spike smiled and emotionless smile, "It was because I was a dragon, Twilight." he said in disbelief. "It's because I'm not some prissy, rich, Canterlot unicorn stallion." He took a deep breath, "It's because I'm worthless."

Twilight slammed a hoof on the floor, making Spike jump. "You are not worthless Spike!" she shouted. "Just because Rarity is too stupid to realize what a great guy you are, doesn't make you any less of one."

Spike turned his head towards Twilight, "But what about-"

"Forget about Rarity!" interrupted Twilight. She sighed, "When you give up on yourself, that is when you've truly lost. It doesn't matter how many times you're knocked down, as long as you get back up, you've won!"

Spike smiled, "Since when did you become a motivational speaker?" he asked.

"I read a book." answered Twilight with a smile. She pulled Spike in for a hug.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Spike took a step towards Neon, "I. AM. NOT. WORTHLESS!" he shouted.

In an amazing display of agility, Spike executed a flying clothesline towards Neon. The force of the tackle pushed Neon away from Twilight, and over the rail of the platform.

Neon hung from his forelegs over the railing, a mere slip away from being consumed by the bubbling green liquid below. Spike landed on the railing stomach first, the fall putting him in a daze.

"Help me!" cried Neon, still dangling from the ledge. He attempted to climb upwards, but his hoofs weren't able to get a grip.

Spike shook of the pain of the fall, and lent a claw to Neon's aid.

"Neon!" he cried. "Grab my hand!"

Neon Lights looked up at the dragon. "I can't! I'm slipping!" he yelled.

"Just hold on!" yelled Twilight. She attempted to use her magic but Neon's spell was still effecting her.

Spike reached out his hand farther, he was mere inches away from Neon's hoof.

CRANK!

The railing made a loud unnerving sound.

"Uh...I think it's going to-" began Neon.

CRUNCH!

Suddenly, the railing collapsed from Neon's weight. The move made the stallion's grip slip, he fell into the green liquid below.

"AAAH!" Neon screamed as he was consumed by the substance. Upon his entry, the liquid started to bubble and hiss loudly. The room soon started to shake and pieces of the platform began to crumble away.

Rainbow Dash ran towards Twilight and Spike. "Uh...guys!" she said. "We have to get out of here, like now!"

Twilight began to charge her horn again, "Hold on to me guys!" she yelled. With a flash of light, the trio vanished from the room.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The next thing Spike knew, he was spread out on a hard ground.

"Whoa, back up! Give him some room!" shouted a familiar voice.

Spike groggily opened up one eye, "Shining Armor?" he asked. "Where am I?"

"Is he okay?" asked another voice.

Spike opened his other eye, "Vinyl?" he asked. The deejay flashed a bright smile before levitating the dragon to his feet.

"You're okay!" she said, pulling him in for a suffocatingly tight hug.

"V-Vinyl, I c-can't b-breathe!" he choked out. Vinyl ended the hug before delivering a strong slap to the drake's face.

"Ow!" cried Spike, rubbing his face. "What was that for?"

"That's for leaving me and Octavia tied up during a firefight!" she yelled. Her anger didn't last however as she found her face turning back into a smile.

Spike smiled as well, "Maybe a thank you is in order?" he suggested.

Vinyl took off her goggles, she leaned in and gave Spike a kiss on the nose. "Thanks." she said.

Spike's cheeks warmed as he blushed, "Heh heh, don't mention it." he said, a big 'dumb guy' smile on his face. "Uh, where are we?" he asked.

Vinyl facehoofed, "Oh yeah! Neon took us to some weird pizza joint, we're in the parking lot." She motioned over to a group of gaurdspony, "Octavia is over there filling out some paperwork."

"Oh..." Spike's eyes suddenly popped open. "Wait, where's Neon!? Has he been arrested?" he asked.

Vinyl sighed, "We don't know. Your Pegasus friend told me that he fell in some kind of acid pit, or something. The gaurdspony couldn't find him anywhere."

Spike cursed under his breath. "To think that he's going to get away with all this..."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." said Shining Armor. "That acid had strong amounts of Hayter Bleach bleach in it. If Neon is still alive, hes going to be bald for a very long time."

Spike smiled at the thought of a hairless Neon. "Hey Shining, where's Twilight?" he asked.

Shining pointed towards an ambulance carriage. "She's recovering over there." he explained. "Neon's spell took a lot out of her."

Spike started towards the carriage, a medic had just finished giving Twilight some magic stimulants.

"Spike!" she yelled. The unicorn lept from her seat and wrapped Spike in a hug.

"Glad to see you too!" said Spike, again being choked. He pulled away from Twilight's death grip.

"It's finally over." Spike said. "It's all over."

The dragon felt a hoof on his shoulder, he turned to see the two reunited mares. "Spike," Octavia began. "Vinyl and I couldn't thank you enough for all that you've done for us." she said.

Spike smiled, "Don't worry about it, I promise I won't hold any grudges." he joked.

Vinyl stepped forward, "Well, we've been thinking." She turned towards Octavia. "We'd appreciate if you'd do us a favor."

Spike's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh...sure!" he said. "What is it?"

Epilogue

"You know...I-I'm starting to have second thoughts about this." said Vinyl.

"You're chickening out now?" asked Spike. "But, you were so sure a couple of months ago."

"I know...it's just," the deejay sighed. "What if we do this, and nothing stays the same between us?"

Spike face palmed. "Vinyl, Octavia loves you! This is not the time to get cold feet."

The unicorn shuffled, "Okay! Okay, just...give me a second." She took a deep breath. Spike grabbed one of her forelegs, he put a claw on the doorknob.

"Ready?" he asked.

Vinyl smiled, "Ready."

Spike pushed the door open, meeting a room full of ponies. Everyone in town had showed up thanks to Pinkie's new advertisement company. Spike kind of felt sorry for Braeburn, he was going to have his hooves full with the pink Party Pony.

When Vinyl had first asked Spike to walk her down the aisle, the dragon didn't feel qualified. But after she explained that she wasn't close to her family, the dragon felt it was his obligation.

A pianist from Octavia's Orchestra started to play the traditional 'Here Comes the Bride' melody. The two made there way down the aisle to the waiting cellist.

"You know, I always pictured you as a Groom type." whispered Spike. "Turns out there's a princess inside you after all."

Vinyl turned beet red, "Don't think that just because it's my wedding day, I won't beat you up." she threatened.

Spike chuckled. Eventually they had reached the end of the walkway. Spike let go of Vinyl, officially giving her away to Octavia. The dragon then quickly made his way back to his seat.

The officiant made sure the mares were ready before he began. "Mares and Gentlecolts, we welcome you to the wedding of Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Melody. If anypony has any reason why these two shouldn't be married, speak now, or forever hold your peace."

There was a deafening silence, likely do to the fact that Vinyl was staring daggers at everyone.

The officiant gulped, "Uh...well, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you wife and....wife. You may kiss the bride!"

Octavia leaned her head in for a romantic kiss, only to meet aggression by Vinyl. The light smooch turned into a full blown lesbian make out session, that earned cheers from the stallions in the crowd and Twilight's hoof over Spike's eye.

After a full 5 MINUTES, Vinyl ended the kiss, leaving a love struck Octavia to fall on the floor.

The crowd filed out of the chapel, and went outside for the after party.

Vinyl caught up with Spike, "Hey! I...forgot to apologize to you."

The dragon looked confused, "Apologize for what?" he asked. "You had no idea that Neon would foalnap us."

Vinyl shook her head, "No, I'm sorry for ruining the date." she explained. "You got me and Tavi back together, and we totally forgot about you."

Spike sighed before smiling again, "Don't worry about it Vinyl." he said. "At least you found your special somepony. I just have to keep looking for mine."

Vinyl hugged the dragon, "Thanks dude, for everything." She suddenly levitated a microphone over to her.

"All right everypony! Hang on to your flanks, because the reception begins right now!" she yelled. "Pinkie, hit the button!"

In a booth over looking the wedding, Pinkie Pie slammed her hoof down on a bright red button. Suddenly, two giant speakers shook the earth as they arose from the ground.

The deejay smiled. "The base drops in 3....2..."

"Oh, no!" said Spike.

"...1"

Some same the wubs can still be heard to this day.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Last call for flight 369, from Saddle Arabia to Trottingham!" the flight receptionist announced.

A unicorn mare hurried towards the receptionist's desk.

"Are they still boarding?" she asked frantically.

The receptionist smiled, "Certainly, I just need to see your ticket."

The unicorn breathed a sigh or relief, she handed over her ticket.

The receptionist gave it a quick scan, "You're all set!" she said with a smile. "Enjoy your flight Ms.-" She read the name on the ticket. "Rarity."

The fashionista smiled, "Thank you very much." she said.

She walked towards her plane thinking about the future. If she was going to make things right before it was to late, she would have to work fast. But for now, she had a plane to catch.