The Crossover that Should Never Have Occured, (But Did Anyway)
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Tales of Friendship: Harmony is Deception
The Crossover that Should Never Have Occured, (But Did Anyway)
Disclaimers: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro. The “Tales of” series is owned by Namco-Bandai. We own nothing. Not even socks.
A Midnight Legends Press Production
Tales of Friendship: Harmony is Deception
Written by: Starwind Dood & Your Antagonist (VegaKS03)
With many apologies from: Starwind Dood
Apologizes for nothing: Your Antagonist (VegaKS03)
The Crossover that Never Should Have Been, (But was anyway.)
Those who would stand against injustice and villainy no matter what form it may take. Those who can rise to the call of duty no matter what the reason, regardless of their motivation. Though they may differ from time and space, from means and methods, they all revel and share the glory and prestige found in that title granted to those with more courage than the average citizen. Those we call: Heroes.
Twilight Sparkle woke up groggily in a three foot deep crater, disoriented and confused as to how she’d arrived in such a place. Rising unsteadily to her hooves she first checked to ensure she was wearing her tactical vest before crawling out of the protrusion, and surveyed her environment only to find she was in some kind of clearing that was littered with several other craters akin to the one she’d just crawled out of. She raced to the nearest crater to find an unconscious Pinkie Pie lying facedown in the dirt.
Twilight descended into the hole to wake Pinkie Pie, but as she moved closer she realized there was something odd about Pinkie’s attire: she wore a suit jacket that resembled the one she wore when she was delivering singing telegrams, but with bits and pieces of armor and a giant pinwheel slung across her back. Thinking nothing of it, Twilight casually trotted over and began nudging Pinkie with a foreleg. “Pinkie, get up, we need to get back to the mission site ASAP. I need you to help me wake the others.”
"Twi... light?" Pinkie Pie spoke slowly as she rose to her hooves. "Gee, did you get the number of that last attack? I could go for some apple gels right now.” Fully awake now, Pinkie Pie took in the Twilight standing before her. "Say, Twilight, is that a new costume! Ooh, what's the title for it? Did we all get one!?" Pinkie Pie stared off into space, examining some unseen menu nopony else could see. "Hey! I still only have 'Bandit'! What gives?"
“Apple gels? Titles? You’re making less sense than you usually do, Pinkie. Anyhow come on, we need to find the others and establish our grid position so we can navigate our way back to Canterlot, the Crosshearts have to be stopped.” Twilight stated as she began crawling out of the hole.”
"Uhhhh... what? Twilight, why are you talking so weird? Crossheart? I thought we were fighting Nightmare Moon." Pinkie Pie followed Twilight out of the crater, taking in the desolate wasteland around them. "Huh, what happened to the world map?"
Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes simultaneously as she began trotting towards another of the holes. “Pinkie, we gave the map to Rarity, and speak of the devil, there she is.” Twilight descended into the crater that presently held Rarity who was clad in a tactical vest with her cutie mark of three diamonds embroidered on the back, and began nudging her awake.
“Mmm...just five more minutes...” Twilight nudged Rarity again and the fashionista came to slowly. “Mmm...Twilight? Where are we? And Pinkie Pie, what in Celestia’s name are you wearing? It’s so garish! Here I thought these vests were horribly designed...”
"Huh?" Pinkie Pie gawked, for once being on the receiving end of confusion as she tried to make sense of what Rarity asked her. "I always wear this, it's you girls who got the cool new title costumes! Is it part of a side-quest?"
“Side quest?” Rarity turned to Twilight. “What is she talking about?” to which Twilight only shrugged. Rarity took a step out of the hole “Is there anypony around here who makes even the slightest bit of sense?”
"She means that we're doing something out of the way of saving Equestria," Fluttershy answered, suddenly appearing behind Rarity.
Startled and taken off-guard,Rarity jumped backwards and established the telekinetic connection to the sewing needles in one of her vest pockets, simultaneously withdrawing and aiming them at the newly arisen Fluttershy who responded with a quick wave of her sleeved hooves, completely knocking away the needles with only a quick gleam of steel.
"O-Oh, I'm sorry, Rarity. I-I didn't mean to... I mean..." Fluttershy retreated further into the holds of her robe, almost disappearing completely within it. "P-Please... don't be mad."
Rarity blinked in disbelief, attempting to piece together what just transpired before responding “Oh it’s quite alright dear, you just took me by surprise is all... were you always wearing that robe?”
"What?" Fluttershy responded, as confused as Pinkie Pie. "Yes?" She took a closer look at the vest Rarity wore and became even more confused. "Uhm, did we all get new costumes?"
Applejack’s voice resounded from behind the four ponies who all stood gawking at each other “Ah’ve been listenin’ to ya’ll squabble for the past three minutes now, and Ah don’t know nothin’ about no costumes or sidequests, but Ah do know that savin’ equestria is top priority.We best be gettin’ back to the mission, before them no good Crosshearts cause anymore damage to Canterlot!”
"Crosshearts?" A blue armored pegasus fell out of the sky, landing in a cloud of dust that shrouded the area for a moment. "Hey girls! What's this about crossheart?" Rainbow Dash took a good look at Twilight, Rarity and Applejack. "Okay, I better have gotten a kick-flank costume too! Between you and me, Cloud Kingdom armor isn't the most comfortable thing in the world."
SKIT: What?
Twilight: W-what? Huh? What is this?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, it's a skit, duh?
Rarity: A...skit? Darling, are you sure you haven’t bumped your head?
Pinkie Pie: Positive! You know. We talk about stuff that doesn't really advance the plot but gives us more character interaction we might not have gotten otherwise while subtly hinting at possible plot elements. We do it all the time!
Applejack: Uhhh.. right... Pink, y’all haven’t been takin’ yer pills regularly have you? Last thing we need is for the voices to come back.
Pinkie Pie: What? I don't take any pills, and that was just because of Nightmare Moon.
Twilight: Nightmare moon? We dealt with her two years ago... Something isn’t right here...
Pinkie Pie: What? No, we're fighting her now by gathering the elements of harmony. Oh! We better get back to the plot!
Twilight: What-
SKIT: End
Applejack tried to comprehend what had just occurred. Had that conversation just happened? She decided to ignore it.
“Cloud Kingdom? I think you mean Cloudsdale, Rainbow. You must’ve hit your head pretty hard from that crash to not be able to remember the name of your own hometown,” Twilight said while giving Rainbow dash a once-over. “And where did you three get those strange outfits?”
“I don’t know, but this has to be the best mirror I’ve ever used! Twilight, where did I get such cool clothes? Did you put these on me?”
Twilight turned to respond to Pinkie’s outburst “Pinkie what are you talking abou—” Twilight was struck speechless at the sight before her: There were two Pinkie Pies. One was wearing the standard Equestrian Investigation Bureau tactical vest, and the other was adorned in some strange armor bits. Twilight watched in confusion as the two began moving left in right in synchronization with each other, and both held up a foreleg and shook it at the other. They leaned in a squinted at each other before the vest wearing Pinkie Pie sneezed on and startled the Pinkie Pie sporting a massive pinwheel.
"Wha! It's an ambush encounter! We're being attacked! Formation disturbed! Changed tactics! Using a magic lens!" The pinwheel-supporting Pinkie Pie threw a tiny eye-piece at the vest-wearing Pinkie Pie. "The enemy is... Pinkie Pie! You're... you're... A REPLICA! Gee, I didn't know we were doing that plotline."
“Brain, am I a replica? No? Okay then... YOU’RE THE REPLICA!” Pinkie Pie snorted and crouched into a defensive stance, pawing the ground aggressively.
"I'll make those words your last, REPLICAAAAAAAA!" the armored Pinkie Pie yelled back.
"Just what in tarnations is going on here!" a country-laden voice yelled out. Just over the crater stood another Applejack, dressed in a cowpony jacket and skirt. "Bandit... and bandit... Twilight, please tell me this is some crazy spell of yours."
“AJ? But you’re over here,” Twilight whipped her head frantically back and forth from one Applejack to the other. Both of the Pinkie Pies turned their heads and yelled “REPLICAAAAA”
Agent Applejack spoke up. “Ah’ll give you an explanation for this Twi’: She’s an impostor!” Applejack pointed an accusing hoof at the cowpony Applejack.
"Me, an impostor! Nu-uh! You," cowpony Applejack pointed an offending hoof at the vest-wearing Applejack. "You're the impostor!"
Rarity stepped between the two fuming Applejacks, before speaking, “Ladies, I’m certain there’s a perfectly good explanation for this and we just need to be sensible about thi—What on earth is she wearing?” Rarity’s attention fell upon another Rarity who trotted up clad in a magenta cloak. “REPLICAAAAA” The two Pinkie Pies shouted in unison before facing each other again.
"Shut up" Rainbow Dash shouted. "Seriously, once was enough."
"What am I wearing? Darling, take a look at yourself!" A set of mirrors floated up from behind the cloak-wearing Rarity, positioning themselves around the vest wearing Rarity. "Really, black is so last season. And a vest? Really? You have something to say about my custom made Caballun cloak, and you're wearing a vest. I mean, if you're going to imitate me, at least try."
Agent Rarity scoffed at such an insult before returning fire. “Imitate you? Ha, I wouldn’t be caught dead in those rags, you poor deluded copycat. I suppose that your poor fashion sense would have to make you my evil unstylish counter part now wouldn’t it? I mean that shade of eyeshadow doesn’t even go with that color of lipstick.” The vest wearing Rarity smirked.
"Oh ho, ho," the cloak wearing Rarity laughed, putting on a spiteful smile as she glared at the other Rarity. "Like you should be the one to give out fashion advice with your tacky fabric and no sense for color coordination, but I guess that's what makes you my unfabulous counterpart. Those shoes? Really? So last decade!"
The vest wearing Rarity’s eye twitched involuntarily as she stared down her counter part. “Oh... IT! IS! ON!” She roared as she charged at her doppleganger only to be halted by the wings of a vest wearing Rainbow Dash; her Rainbow Dash. “Captain Rainbow Dash Ma’am, I—”
“At ease, Rarity. We don’t know what these carbon copies can do yet,and attacking head on could be a fatal error, no matter how slow the competition looks,” she spat at the armored Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash the knight's eye twitched. "Say, think you can repeat that?"
“I said my protege, Scootaloo, could probably beat you, and she can’t eve—”
"TENBAKEN!" knight Rainbow Dash drew her sword and swung it along the ground, releasing a blue shockwave that rocketed at the other Rainbow Dash.
Captain Rainbow Dash took the full brunt of that attack and was knocked skidding along the ground. She coughed as she stood up and brushed the dirt from her mane. “Really? Cheapshots? If that’s how you want to play, then fine by me!” she flapped her wings twice and, with the third, she shot straight up in to the air initiating a loop-de-loop to pick up terminal velocity before skimming the ground and crashing hoof first into the other Rainbow Dash. “Didn’t even need to use my pistol.”
The armor wearing Rainbow Dash took the full force of the blow, flying a few feet back and landing with a hard thud on the ground. With a scowl, she picked herself up and addressed the other Rainbow Dash. "That was just to make up for my 'cheap shot'. Now I'm going to straight up kick your flank!" She drew her sword and took off like a rocket into the sky, eclipsing herself over the sun and letting the natural glare caused by her armor blindside her opponent as she came diving down for another attack. "Kuuha Zesshougeki!" She crashed into the blinded Rainbow Dash and phased behind her, charging again with a second attack. "So who's fast now!"
“Oh, you’re quick, but ever so slow in the head,” the vest wearing Rainbow Dash dropped a small ball on the ground behind her and covered her ears as a loud bang and a flash of light erupted from the orb, blinding her doppleganger and causing her to crash along into the ground. “Agent Pie! Agent Rarity! Agent Applejack! We’re taking these chumps to the bricks, hold nothing back!”
“Got it boss!” Agent Pinkie Pie shouted, while reaching into her vest for a small black rubber handle that she placed in her mouth. Whipping her head to the side, it extended by a foot and a half into a metal baton. With a bite of the rubber portion, sparks were released from the metallic portion, and the vested Pinkie Pie grinned at her rival.
“Understood, Rainbow Dash!” Agent Rarity withdrew another pincushion and lifted all of the needles out of it with her telekinesis while aiming the swarm at her counterpart.
“Y’all don’t need to tell me twice!” Agent Applejack stomped the ground with a forehoof and face her replica.
“Wait everypony, there’s got to be another way besides resorting to violence!” Twilight cried to her friends.
"Everypony! What's going on! Why are we fighting!" Another Twilight, clad in a starry cloak with a spear slung across her back cried out. "Just why... are... you all fighting... yourselves?" The cloaked Twilight asked, looking around at all the extras. "So... is this a plot twist?"
"Twilight!" The armor clad Rainbow Dash called to her. "You're just in time to pound on these-"
"REPLICAAAA-"
"I SAID SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!" Rainbow Dash interrupted the Pinkie Pies.
"Oh... great..." The cloaked Twilight sighed, looking at her own double. "So... we're fighting?"
“Well, I’d prefer to talk this out but,” the vested Twilight’s horn glowed purple establishing the telekinetic connection to her dagger, “after observing the behavior demonstrated by your partners, I don’t think I have any alternatives.” With out another word she levitated the dagger from its sheathe, and whipped it at her doppleganger in an arc.
The cloak wearing Twilight sighed. "Yeah, I bet that's the case." Her spear floated defensively in front of her.
"So.... uhhhh...." the robed Fluttershy tried to greet the sudden arrival of another Fluttershy. "Well... uhhh... yeah.... hi...."
“umm... hello... nice to meet you?” The vest adorned Fluttershy whimpered from behind her mane.
"Y-yeah," the other Fluttershy squeaked. "Nice... to meet you..."
“So... do you wanna.... umm... fight? You know, if you want... I’m sorry...”
"W-well... I... don't think I do... I think... please..."
“That’s all right...”
"Oh for Cloud's sake," the knight Rainbow Dash sighed, turning to her double. "Think you can help me out with those two..."
“Ha! Asking for the enemy’s assistance in the heat of battle? I like your style, weaker me,” Agent Rainbow Dash drew a long black gauntlet, slipped it over her right foreleg, and tensed her foreleg in the direction of the quivering Fluttershys, and with a flash of light followed by a resounding “Bang!” thatenveloped the air as a singular bullet from the hoof-pistol flew towards the Fluttershys.
"Wha!" the robed Fluttershy yelped as she took into the air and swung one of her hidden sickles at her double. "I'm, I'm sorry!"
Agent Fluttershy weaved through the attack, her normally timid expression replaced by bloodshot eyes that expressed madness and bloodlust, as she drew a syringe from her vest and thrust it at the robed Fluttershy.
Instinctively, the druid Fluttershy withdrew another of her sickles, parrying the attack before spinning her body and unleashing her last two sickles with her hind legs. "Aching Chains!" she cried out as the chains came to life and tried to coil themselves around the other Fluttershy. "W-wait! I'm sorry!"
Agent Fluttershy avoided the first of the chains by going airborne, but the second sickle caught her side, causing her to fall towards the ground. She recovered quickly and dodged as another chain crashed into the spot where she once lay. “You wanna play!?” Fluttershy spread her wings wide, and revealed that there were several syringes tucked into her feathers. “Then we’ll play!” She flapped her wings in her opponents direction and the syringes flew in a scattering pattern that covered the air.
"Oh no," the robed Fluttershy whispered as she rewound her sickles back to her. Seeing the first wave of syringes coming, she swiped them away with her weapon, and followed up by spinning in the air, letting her weapon fly off in every direction, becoming a cyclone of chains and edges. "Ouroborus!" she cried out, deflecting any syringe that got too close. "I'm sorry, please, I'm sorry!"
“Yeah, way to go Fluttershy! Not you Fluttershy, but the other Fluttershy!” the vest wearing Pinkie Pie shouted as she ducked a Pinwheel swing from her opponent. “Isn’t that thing you know, heavy? You should put it down and surrender, at least that’s what Jed is suggesting! Well... that and you chewing a cactus...”
"You have no idea how heavy this thing is," that coated Pinkie Pie sighed as she placed her Pinwheel on her back. "But have you seen the attack score on this thing!? I'm one hit killing most random encounters! Besides, If I just lose I'll start back from my last save point."
“Save points, huh? And they say I’m crazy... well, they’re right!” The agent Pinkie Pie withdrew from her vest a green ball with a ring protruding from the top. She placed the ring in her mouth, and after pulling the ball away, she tossed the orb at the coated Pinkie Pie. “It’s been a blast knowing you, but I’d guess you’re going out with a bang and a whimper!"
Bandit Pinkie Pie saw the orb coming, her eyes gleaming and smiling wide. "Sorry, Fakey Pie, but this is my ball game!" Drawing her pinwheel again, the coated Pinkie Pie swung it like a bat, sending the orb right back from whenst it came. "Hope you don't strike out!" she cried out as she dropped her trusty party cannon on the floor and stomped on it, firing a salvo of confetti, glitter, and firepowder at her double.
Agent Pinkie felt her tail Twitch and dodged the grenade by hopping to the side, and rolled under the party cannon blast. “Oh come on, that’s a foul play." She re-brandished her stun baton with her mouth, and charged at the coated Pinkie Pie swinging the baton as she bit down on the handle releasing the electric current.
"Playing with lightning, are we." Bandit Pinkie Pie activated the joy-buzzer in her right fore-hoof, letting off a quick bolt of electricity. "What a shocking surprise."
The baton made contact with the coated Pinkie Pie, who endured through enough of the shock to punch the vest-wearing Pinkie Pie in the snout, and the resulting shockwave sent both flying away from each other and impacting hard on the ground, unconscious.
“Pinkie Pie!” called the Agent Rarity as she made the mistake of taking her eyes off of her opponent.
"Eternal light, ever true and undefiled, grant this wanton sinner before me the majesty of thy judgment," the robed Rarity chanted as her mirrors gave off a powerful light. "Ray!" Her mirrors fired off numerous beams of light, nearly coating the entire field before her with no chance of escape.
“Was all of that chatter really necessa—Waaah!” Rarity cried as a bolt of light caught her off guard leaving a giant dust cloud in its wake. As the smoke began to clear, the silhouette of the vested Rarity was still visible. The robed Rarity opened her mouth for another chant but a voice from as well as a prickling sensation on the base of her neck from behind ceased her actions “You know, you certainly do talk a lot darling, you may want to consider shortening that up a bit, hmm?” She gloated as her illusion faded into the dust, in which it was cast in.
"Oh, now there's a thought," priestess Rarity chuckled. "Blah blah blah Ground Dasher!" the earth under the vested Rarity shook violently as rocks flew into the air, violently assaulting the her. "Blah blah blah Eruption! Blah blah blah Icicle Vault! Blah blah blah Blizzard!" Magma, icicles, and a snowstorm all collided on the vested Rarity, assaulting her from every direction with magic. "Is that short enough?"
As the smoke cleared, the glow of a faint purple bubble became visible, and Agent Twilight stood defensively over the vested Rarity with a fierce look in her eyes. “Rarity, are you alright?”
“Thanks to you I am, Twilight.”
“Good, then we’ll take her together, two on one isn’t my style but it’s probably our best shot.”
"And here I thought I would get to personally humiliate my impostor, but I guess she needed to fall back on another unicorn for help," priestess Rarity scoffed. "You wouldn't go far where I come from."
“Complaining, how ugly of you, if you keep it up you’ll only get deeper wrinkles, dear” Rarity spat back as she prepared to charge at her counter-part. A volley of needles at the ready.
"Complaining? Oh, darling, I'm not even mad." Two of the priestess Rarity’s mirrors positioned themselves in front of her, beginning to glow again. "Light Rain!" The two mirrors let off a series of small bullets of light, completely showering anything in front of her.
Agent Twilight strained herself to construct and maintain a shield around the Agent Rarity before shouting, “Rarity, I’ll keep you covered just keep going and close the distance!”
“Got it, Twilight!” Agent Rarity galloped through the stream of light bullets before finally entering close-quarters distance. “Let’s see how well cope with hoof to hoof, you ruffian!” Rarity spun while thrusting out her hindlegs, and sent a volley of her needles at the robed Rarity.
"What? And chip a hoof!? Are you mad?" she asked as she brought her two other mirrors in front of her to block the attacks. "Prism Shot!" The two mirrors fired off a concentrated light bullet, barreling at the other Rarity while continuing the stream from her other two mirrors.
Agent Twilight’s shield inevitably broke under the pressure of the rays, and Rarity took the full brunt of the other two shots, that floored her where she stood.
“Rarity!” cried Agent Applejack who could only watch as her friend fell before her eyes. Guess Ah’d better finish this quickly.”
"I'm gonna ask nicely just this once. Let's not fight." The cowpony raised her forehooves into a defensive position. "I'm warning you, I've been kicked too many times by Granny Smith to afford losing to—"
“Ah reckon we can’t have a proper brawl if y’all are all the way over there blatherin’ about nothin’.” The vest clad Applejack withdrew a lasso from under her hat and whipped it around the neck of her counterpart, after it was secured, she tugged the rope with all of her strength, forcing her copy-cat over to her side.
"So that's how you want to play!" Using the force of the rope, galloped forward, raising onto her hindlegs and spreading out her forelegs to clothesline the other Applejack, sending her spiraling through the air. "And I don't take well to being bossed around!" As the other Applejack went flying, the cowpony leapt up, biting down on the other's tail and bringing her back down to earth with all the strength she could muster. "Landslide!" The other crashed into the ground, leaving a pony shaped indention on the floor. "That's one my brother taught me, fake."
Coughing and on her back, the agent Applejack spat blood and grinned, this was going to be fun. “You ain’t bad with yer stand-up fightin’, sugarcube.” The agent grabbed her rival’s hindlegs, and dragged her down to the dirt “But let’s see how your ground game stacks up!” Agent Applejack wormed her right foreleg around her impostors neck, while her double elbowed her in the side, she hooked her hindlegs around her doubles as well, squeezing and pulling her opponents neck. “Feel that sugarcube? That’s the blood flow in yer neck stoppin’, can’t tell ya how many times I’ve seen it.”
"Lightning!" the Knight Rainbow Dash cried out, unleashing a single bolt of lightning on the Applejacks from the sky.
“You’d attack your own ponies just to save them, huh? I like that about you weaker me, but unfortunately you just gave me your back!” Shouted Captain Rainbow Dash aiming her Hoof Pistol.
"Yeah, and you gave yours to the real Applejack!"
Cowpony Applejack felt the lightning hit her, and in that moment channeled it into her own energy. "Thunder Beast!" she cried out as she exploded with electrified energy, releasing a blast of lightning in the shape of a lion's head before slamming her hooves into the ground, creating another electrified explosion to throw off her double. "Here's the return, Dash!" She jumped, lassoing Agent Rainbow Dash and pulling her down to earth.
“You’re gonna regret that!” Captain Rainbow Dash spread her wings wide and flapped vigorously towards the ground, regaining her control over her momentum as she skimmed the ground. Angling her wings to achieve maximum lift, she began to ascend rapidly, with the other Applejack still holding on to the rope around Rainbow’s waist. “This looks high enough,” She turned her head to address the other Applejack “You might want to let go, or better yet hang on it’s your funeral!” Agent Rainbow Dash spotted her double flying at her with remarkable speed, and with a flap of her wings, she was off as well. You’re fast, but try this! Agent Rainbow Dash picked up astounding amounts of speed to the point where she materialized the mach cone faster than usual. Come on, come at me... Electricity began to rip through the cone as she neared her opponent who veered out of the way. She dodged me!
"What the hail!" the knight cursed. "Applejack! Hold on! Think, Dash, think!" She touched the insignia on the center of her chest plate and began to glow with green light. "Eat this! Cyclone!" The knight conjured a miniature tornado upon her double, completely buffeting her wings and throwing her out of the sky, Applejack was flung off in another direction. "Applejack!" she cried out as she raced to catch her.
Well, this works to my advantage too... Agent Rainbow Dash thought to herself as she fell through the sky. She rushed towards the ground materializing the mach cone again, but ceased the flapping of her wings allowing the cone to stretch. Just a little more and—
"No!" a purple unicorn cried out as she materialized in front of her. "You won't hurt my friends! Gravity Well!" Twilight the Mage conjured a field of intense gravity, pulling the other Rainbow Dash back to the ground.
“Fine! You want it? Here it is!” Using the increased downward momentum from the other Twilight’s spell, the mach-cone finally ripped and an explosion of multicolored light, sound, and pressure ripped through the air, sending Captain Rainbow Dash barreling into the cloaked Twilight. “How’s that!? Now if you’ll excuse me I have your friends to attend t—whoa!” A beam of light passed through the air in front of Rainbow Dash’s snout.
"Twilight, please stop trying to imitate our more gung-ho party members it's unsightly for a unicorn," the priestess Rarity sighed, letting down on her offense at a crucial moment.
“I wouldn’t have done that if I were you,” called a voice behind the priestess as Agent Twilight whipped her knife at Rarity’s head, stopping the blade only nches from her eye. “Stand down or we’ll be forced to— “
“Nighty night chump!” Agent Rainbow Dash swung her hoof pistol at the head of Rarity’s doppleganger, only to be met by the scrutinizing gaze of Twilight. “What?”
“I was trying to end this peacefully!” Twilight cried.
Agent Rainbow Dash cocked a bemused eyebrow at the irony of that statement. “Peacefully... at knife point?”
The mage Twilight winked next to the Priestess Rarity, placing her spear in front of the knife. "And just what are the terms of this surrender?"
"Because this is getting us nowhere!"
Agent Twilight stepped to the side of her mage counterpart and began with one of her signature soap box lectures, “Look, there has to be a reasonable explanation and solution for what’s going on here, but we won’t figure it if we just kill each other for no reason! We should talk this out, don’t you agree?”
"Absolutely!" The mage Twilight joined her assassin counterpart on the soap-box of self-riotousness. "Fighting each other will only lead to death and hate. What we need to do right now is calm down, and talk this out."
"Dang it!" the knight cursed. "You're Twilight is like this too!?"
The Captain turned to her counterpart and responded, “Sadly, yes. Sigh... and I was just starting to enjoy that fight too...” She extended a hoof to the knight in sports-colt-ship “You’re not half-bad slower me.”
"You're not half-bad yourself, lamer me," the knight responded, resisting the urge to throw another lightning spell.
Agent Applejack trotted up to the group and addressed her doppleganger while rubbing her head “Land’s sake, y’all sure can throw a buck!” Applejack nodded to her double approvingly.
"How else do you handle bandits and chimeras on the farm? Or just plain remin' Big Macintosh not to get so big on himself with his fancy mathmatical talk. Speaking of which, I'm gonna need to try the hold on him next time," the cowpony Applejack replied, grinning at the thought of holding another victory over her big brother.
Agent Rarity sluggishly trotted up to the group, dragging her hooves as she went. “I’m glad everypony is getting along famously now, but who’s going to put a stop to that?” She pointed a hoof at the two Fluttershys who were still psychologically and physically locked in mortal combat.
"Not it!" the knight Rainbow Dash cried out.
“Nothin’ doin’, there’s no stoppin’ shy once she gets like that until she takes out her target.” Agent Applejack stated.
"Our 'Shy... well let's just say she doesn't take well to being touched... with sharp objects. They'll both eventually tire themselves out... right?" the cowpony Applejack asked.
Both Twilight’s sighed and spoke simultaneously “We’ll do it.” The pair turned and trotted off towards the battle.
"That was kind of creepy," the knight commented.
“Yeah... anyway, what happened to the Pinkies?” Captain Rainbow Dash inquired.
“...So then I said oatmeal, Are you crazy!?” shouted a voice from behind.
"What! She has to be crazy! I mean, oatmeal!? C'mon!”
The two Pinkie Pies giggled before realizing that everypony and their doubles were standing with eachother and socializing. “Awww, c’mon, and we even wrote a song about being friends with yourself!” Agent Pinkie Pie complained.
A grin formed on the lips of the Bandit Pinkie Pie as she turned to her twin “You wanna sing it anyways?”
Agent Pinkie Pie’s eyes lit up with joy as the idea played into her thought processes “Yes, Yes, YES!”
Both took deep breath and were prepared to vocalize the first lyrics of their jointly written song, when a cluster of storm clouds began to materialize from behind darkening the sky and setting the clouds on fire. The two Twilights returned with the pair of Fluttershys trapped in purple magic bubbles to keep them from going at each others throats again, and they cast their collective gazes towards the anomaly occurring before them. The storm clouds began to swirl into a slowly darkening void, and a massive eagle claw protruded from black hole, soon followed by a lion paw, and an irkingly familiar face to the EIB agents.
“Discord...” Twilight gasped in disbelief as the draconequus pulled the remaining portions of his amalgamated body through the void and landed before the twelve ponies.
“Awww, and here I was hoping the twelve of you would tear each other apart, no matter I’ll just end you myself, and pick another universe’s ponies to torment.”
"What the hay kind of chimera is that!?" Applejack cursed, gawking at Dischord's impressive and terrible visage.
“That’s no chimera, Applejack. That’s Discord, and if he’s here, then he might be the one behind all of this.” Agent Twilight explained.
"Holy moly that is the funniest chimera yet!" The bandit was rolling on her sides, laughing her tail off at how silly she found the spirit of chaos to look. "I mean, that beard, and the one tooth!"
"Pinkie Pie, darling," Rarity sighed, "please don't insult the twenty-foot tall chimera that just might decide to eat us."
“All right, Discord, chop chop, make with the chocolate filled cotton-candy clouds before we totally kick your flank!” Agent Pinkie demanded which caused Rainbow Dash to face hoof.
"What was that!" the bandit Pinkie Pie shot upwards. "Chocolate filled cotton-candy? I demand a director's cut! New dungeon with that in it! Neighco-Damdai, make it happen!"
Discord smiled at the only two ponies in this group who could appreciate his chaos, but then frowned as he realized he’d have to destroy them along with the others. Such a waste, but it must be done. “Why did you all have to go and make friends with each other, now I have to destroy you, and that’s no fun.” Discord rose his talons, snapping his paw as music began to play in the background.
SKIT: The Final Boss
Agent Rainbow Dash: What the? Huh? Why is everything so weird all of a sudden?
Bandit Pinkie Pie: We're doing a skit. Usually, pre-final boss skits involve us reflecting on our journey together to becoming friends, sharing a heart-warming moment that bonds us and gives us the strength we need to handle any fight!
Agent Applejack: Right... I don’t know what you mean by all that, but if means Ah get to kick-flank side-by-side with this good-lookin’ earth-pony to my right , then Ah’m all for it.
Cowpony Applejack: Aw sucks, sugar-cube. I'm mighty flattered, but I think you're doin' a better job keepin' up with appearances. I can barely afford shampoo now-a-days.
Knight Rainbow Dash: Creepy...
End Skit
Agent Twilight barked out orders to her team “Alright, agents, prepare to engage target!”
Five acknowledgements rang out with a collective “ROGER!” As the Agents stood on line with with Twilight staring down Discord who merely grinned as they began to gallop towards him.
"It's party time!" the bandit Pinkie Pie yelled out as she galloped in, head first. "Mama wants some EXP!" she jumped over Dischord, drawing her pinwheel and shooting downwards at him. "Crazy Destruction!"
"Are you mad!?" cowpony Applejack cried out as she closed in on Discord.
"Madly awesome!" knight Rainbow Dash replied as she threw her blade at the boss. "Meguru no Honoo!" The blade spun thew the air, igniting from the air friction and barreling at Discord.
Agent Rainbow Dash joined her double in the air. She shouted “Hope you don’t mind a little cover fire!” as she unleashed a volley of bullets that flew towards the Draconnequs.
Discord merely chuckled as he swatted the projectiles from the air, and halted Pinkie Pie’s assault with a magic barrier. “You’ll have to do better than that, my little ponies!” He chortled as he swatted the pinwheel wielding pony away.
Agent Twilight caught the Bandit with telekinesis, and nodded to her own Pinkie Pie signifying that it was time for her to join the fray.
“Come on, let’s go, other me!” Agent Pinkie Pie shouted withdrawing her two remaining high-explosive grenades, clearly enthused that she’d get to fight along side somepony just as unpredictable as herself.
"Sure thing, me!" the bandit shot upward, no worse for ware with a number of bottles of hot sauce between her teeth.
"Just try not to get knocked away," priestess Rarity sighed as her mirrors began to charge again. "My little pony, wilt thou forget thine own meagre body and attain the heights of destruction for which thou hast so long yearned?" she chanted.
“I think I can manage some assistance as well,” Agent Rarity’s horn began to glow as she materialized a small army of identical Pinkie Pie illusions to charge along side the originals.
"It's an army of mes! An ar-me!" the Pinkie Pies said in unison as the pink horde charged forward at Discord, a barrage of grenades, napalm hot-sauce, and cakes flying from every direction.
“My, aren’t you all clever? Not!” Discord held up another barrier that halted the explosive barrage, but began to crack under the pressure of the explosives. In response he whipped his broken barrier at the horde of Pinkie Pie, but only took out a few illusions.
“Rarity, do it now!” shouted the Bandit
"I think the spell is done. Judgement!" Rarity shouted as vortex of light materialized over Discord. The vortex opened, and a giant hoof of pure light, vaguely reminiscent of Celestia's, came crashing down on Discord, threatening to crush him into the dirt.
Discord winked out from the attack in the nick of time, but upon rematerializing he found himself in the path of druid Fluttershy's chain-sickles, enveloping his leg in a cocoon of steel.
“What the—”
“Take this you big dumb meany!” Agent Fluttershy flew upon Discord’s back and stuck two syringes full of green fluids into his neck. She’d managed to empty all of the vials contents into him before he finally grabbed her and backhanded the pegasus into the dirt, only to find she’d stuck another syringe into his talons.
“Why you little...” Discord unsteadily stomped his way over to the fallen Fluttershy, conjuring a flames in his talons as he approached. In his disorientation he attempted to aim the blast at the fallen mare but was taken off guard as something caught his neck and constricted his airway. He grabbed around his neck and found the cause of the choking was a lasso being held by Agent Applejack.
“Other Applejack, Do it now!”
Cowpony Applejack galloped at Discord, jumping high into the air and then forcing her trajectory straight down at where she assumed his heart was. "Autumn's Fall!" She fell, stomping straight down on his chest, possibly breaking something if Discord had anything to break, but stunning him momentarily.
Twilight the mage saw her opportunity to attack, winking in one flash at a time till she was directly in front of Discord. She enchanted her spear with fire, lunging forward with it. "Binary," she attacked, almost piercing the monsters hide, "Star!" she attacked again, her spear roaring in an inferno as a gargantuan fireball in the shape of a star emerged from the second blow and exploded into Discord.
"Hey, Other Dash," the knight called to her counterpart. "Try this!" She shot a bolt of electricity at the other's hoof pistol, charging it with electrical magic. "You better come up with an awesome attack name for this!"
“I’ve got something in mind...” Agent Rainbow Dash steadied herself in the air, aiming the pistol straight at Discord’s head. Line up the shot, breathe... and... FIRE! “MAGNUM OF OHM!” Rainbow Dash roared as the pistol over-charged itself and broke, but not before releasing a wave of lightning, that took the form of a dragon as it streamed towards the stunned Draconnecus.
Rainbow Dash the knight couldn't help but stifle a giggle. "I guess that gun wasn't very," she moved down her goggles, "resistant."
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!" the Pinkie Pie's yelled in unison.
Agent Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as she turned to the other Rainbow Dash, “Oh, shut up.” She turned her attention back towards the bolt of electricity hurtling towards Discord, and watched in anticipation as his body absorbed every volt of the shot.
Agent Twilight trotted over to the all but deceased Discord and looked down pitying the bastard as she charged her horn with magic. “Well Discord, I don’t know how you brought us here, and quite frankly I don’t care. Either you send us back to our respective worlds, or you’ll suffer a fate worse than death.”
The Draconnequs attempted to chuckle but only coughed and cringed due to the immense amount of pain he was in. “What’s... the worst you can do to me? Turn me to stone for another thousand years?Haha— “ he was cut off by another fit of coughing. “Don’t worry, we’ll stay in this dimension forever, you’ll probably die out long before I do, my dear Twilight.
“You’ve made your choice Discord...” Twilight touched levitated her dagger from its sheathe moving the blade to her horn which charged the knife with a green aura. Turning the blade on discord, she jammed it into his skull. There was only a sharp short pain before he felt the magic surging through his brain; it felt as though there was a whirlpool in his mind and all of his knowledge and memories were slowly being flushed out of his brain and being fed to the blade. All he could see was a vivid white light that was accompanied by the most awful ringing he'd ever heard in his life, and just as quickly as it began, there was nothingness.
“That’s, that,” Twilight pulled out a small green parchment from her vest and touched the blade to the paper, almost instantly it filled up with random amounts information, memories, and thoughts. After a few moments of sifting through Discord’s absolutely nonsensical thoughts and musings, she finally found the information she was looking for: a spell that could bridge the gaps between dimensions. “I don’t know if my magic is strong enough to cast this...”
Twilight the mage looked over the parchment, slowly beginning to comprehend the complexity of the spell. "Between us and our Rarity’s magic enhancing mirrors, we might be able to cast this spell. Rarity, some assistance."
"Fine, fine," the priestess sighed as she telekinetically moved her mirrors above the two Twilights and began to bathe them in a magical light.
"Magic enhancing mirrors. That's convenient," Agent Twilight remarked as she began to channel magic into her horn. "Alright, let's begin." The two Twilight's brought their horns together, letting the magic between them fuse into one large glyph that etched itself into the ground, growing larger and brighter. With one last spark, the two were blown apart, kicking up a huge cloud of dust.
"Twilight!" Everypony shouted at once.
"Did somepony say my name?" a third voice answered, identical to Twilight's, and as the dust cleared, a third Twilight appeared, along with a third Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. None of them wore anything. "What the?"
"REPLICAAAAAAAAA!" all three of the Pinkie Pie's cried at once, prompting a sigh from Agent Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash the knight.
"And just when I thought my clones couldn't get more unfashionable, this one doesn't even wear anything," agent Rarity scoffed.
The naked Rarity's face became red with anger. "Unfashionable?! Twilight, they are obviously evil and should be obliterated."
"Rarity, I don't think--"
"Evil! Just look at their tacky clothes!" the naked Rarity interrupted her. All three of the Rarities glared at each other. Of all the ponies, they were the only ones who could not get along with each other. "Use the elements of harmony!" the naked Rarity cried as her necklace began to glow.
"Wait," agent Applejack gawked, "this won't end well."
The naked ponies rose into the air, surrounded in an aura of magic that erupted with a violent rainbow that enveloped the five agents and five ragtag adventurers, turning them to stone. The naked ponies landed back on the ground, their sudden mission complete.
"Are you sure that was a good idea?" naked Twilight asked. "I hope we didn't do anything... unnecessary."
The naked ponies disappeared back into the dimensional rift, possibly returning to their own dimensions, leaving ten statues, and two confused Twilights.
"I... wasn't expecting that," Twilight the mage sighed. "So now what?"
"Scrabble?" Agent Twilight suggested with a smile.
"Yes!" Twilight the mage answered back, producing her own cheesy smile.
GAME OVER
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