Informative Information (Author's Words)
Prologue: The Things We Keep To Ourselves...
"Dear diary...
Today, Twilight said there was going to be a newcomer to our town in order to achieve a "Task". She did not went into the details, but as far as she said, it was to do with his dad. Also, according to the princess, he was a little... Sad. So everypony went there to give him the biggest welcome we had! And of course, Iwas invited to this party!..."
Cycling through the pages, Remix was mumbling to himself, reading the note while slowly heading through the dark cave with his friend Inferno. After some time, his mumbling finally reached to his friend's ears. He turned back to him, pointing the torch towards his friend to see what he was actually doing.
"Is that... A diary you reading?"
"Yeah."
"I never knew your favorite color was pink mate." Said Inferno, according to the color of the book.
Not even turning back to his friend on his replies, Remix was answering quick. He was just walking down, holding the book with his magic, and reading it slowly on the progress, squinting his eyes as Inferno kept the torch towards him.
"It's not." He made a quick answer again, pushing his hoof further away to rest his eyes.
Those kinds of answers were never Inferno's style. He frowned.
"Then whose diary is this?"
"It's Pinkie's diary Inferno."
But rather, Remix just wanted to read it. His friend was interrupting him. His slight frown on his reply made Inferno notice it.
"Oh, that pink mare... Who ki-"
"YES. That one. Could you kindly shut up?"
After a short silence, as a result of his friend's anger obviously, Inferno felt the fire on the torch he was holding was dying. He stopped for a couple seconds to light it back up. Along with his friend.
"Hey, you say it like that but... Don't say you didn't hurt her!"
Rubbing it harder to the ground, he finally made Remix stop reading by his last sentence. Frowning slightly this time on his reply, he answered.
"Inferno. Comparing the two losses, is a wound bigger than a life?"
Inferno dropped himself to the ground, his speed was not enough to light it back up, and the whole area was getting darker and darker as his torch died. He tried to reply back through his work.
"Nah. But, you are a stallion. And I thought you were always a gentleman. I surely do expect it from myself as you can see what I did to Applesack but, you? Seriously?"
His friend's moments were rather relaxed when Remix thought about what they actually went through... He was, calm... Just trying to rub the stick to the ground fast enough to make it light back up.
"Applejack."
"Huh?"
"Her name, it's Applejack."
"Sack, Jack, same thing mate."
The torch finally broke into two pieces on his last rub. It's pieces made the place echo for couple seconds as they hit the ground, making the two realize that they weren't even halfway through the place. Now the only source of light was his friend's magic, since Remix's horn was... A little out of shape, it was not even illuminating two inch farther. Only enough to notice that there were two silhouettes in the dark cave...
Now he wasn't able to read the diary either. He groaned.
'Oh Remix I know a shortcut to that place! We'll be there before you know it!' Remember something, Inferno?"
Making his tone sarcastic, he repeated his friend's words.
"Well, I may be wrong sometimes right?"
Rolling his eyes, he forced himself to cast a light spell. The blue light of his horn grew bigger and bigger, enough to see at least each other.
"W-Well... I think that's it for my power."
Still forcing himself through clenching his teeth, he ordered his friend angrily.
"Well! What are you waiting for Inferno? L-Light another torch up!"
"Yeah, yeah! I forgot, sorry."
His friend did as Remix ordered, finally having a new source of light, he let all of his strength go and fell to the ground. Making his friend turn back.
"We can rest a lil' if you want to mate." His friend asked, he knew it was his horn.
"N-Nah... Just, help me get back up please."
Helping his friend stay on his hooves back up, they started to move through the seemingly endless cave again. 'I should warm the mood up a little...' Inferno thought, and started to talk.
"Ya know, I love fire. I'm just familiar with it naturally. Strange, eh?"
"I know. You told me that on your seventh age."
"Did I?"
"Almost every day."
Picking up the diary back again, he started to read it. Inferno knew it was his time to shut up a little. His friend was surely frowning.
But, as usual, he got overwhelmed to his thoughts again, he was bored.
"Remix?"
"Yeah? I'm reading as you can see."
"Bloody hell Remix, I always wondered, what the heck were you up to on those two years you went missing?"
"Two years missing? What?"
"On our school times, you went missing on the second year. And never came back until we were fourth grade."
His words made Remix's expression turn into shy. Slowly losing the frown on his eyes, his white cheeks became slightly red. Rising his head up from the diary, the first thing he saw was his friend's curious eyes, checking him.
"So, I just wanna ask Inferno, where the heck that came up to your head right now?"
"I'm bored. Mate."
"It's a strange thing... I don't even wanna talk about it." Saying his words, he slowly raised the diary back up.
"Ah come on! It's boring to just... Walk down!"
"You may feel good but I'm not doing so well you see... My right eye is not usable anymore... And, not to mention my wounds left out from that event."
Inferno somewhat offended to his friend after he mentioned his eye. He thought that his friend was trying to be sarcastic. He frowned and replied back quickly.
"It's you who wanted all this as Twilight said, mate."
He was readying himself up for a fight, heck, he was always ready for one, but he noticed his friend never tried to mean anything like that when he heard him again. He was sighing and groaning.
"I know... It'll worth it still."
He sighed too, it was surely a big loss for his friend. He was supposed to back him up, rather he was angry at him. He quickly changed the subject back again to those two years as an apologize.
"So, anything else you wanna talk on? Just, tell me what was the subject! Your mom and dad said you were fine. But they said you did not wanted them to tell it to anypony else. I was included. I thought you left me because of that event, y'know?"
"But I told you I'll never leave you." Remix slowly smiled as he replied. They were best friends but, Inferno always awaited the day where that he was going to leave him over some reason...
"Eh, I had nothing else to hold onto. So I just believed that."
"The subject was... Ugh, let's just say it was to do with me practicing my musical skills."
Remix was not moving along as Inferno thought, he did not wanted to talk about it for sure.
"Well thennn... Tell me something."
"Like what?" He rolled his eyes on his words.
"What did you do when you actually left your house?"
"Eh, what again?"
"You were invited to the castle by the princesses. Something to do with your musical stuff."
"Oh, they said they wanted a musician, so they were inviting me to show off my skills."
"Since you never came back again, you were accepted eh?"
"I was the best among others. Yeah."
"So, what did you actually do there?"
"Sang songs. Played stuff... Mixed things up." He was slowly grinning on his words this time, that expression was rare for his friend to do, which made Inferno even more curious.
"Describe it for Celestia's sake dude! You are making me curious! Don't talk like a mystery!"
Rolling his eyes, Remix decided it was easier to tell him what he wanted to do rather.
"Look, let me finish this diary, then, it's on. OK?"
His friend reacted back by rolling his eyes in frustration, but he knew Remix was not a pony that should be forced into something he did not wanted to do...
"Fiiineee. I'll be right behind ya, awaiting to die in boringness."
Finally having the silence he requested, Remix continued on the diary.
"... I have made everything prepared for him already! His house, his stuff, cakes, decorations and all! As far as I heard, he was a musician, a pony that is said to be able to play more than one instrument at once... Who knows, maybe I'm going to find myself a good partner to sing songs! Even better, maybe he's the special one for me!... I know that's not a high chance but, it's still nice to think that I may finally find somepony to fall in love with."
He turned the page, every page meant a new day on the diary.
"Dear diary...
Last day, we met him! His name was Remix! And guess what, we are neighborhoods with him! He looks soooo much like our DJ, only the eyes. Since I never saw our DJ's eyes... And, as I thought, he loves music, he agreed when I asked him! He has a cute, slight shy expression on his face. Similar to Fluttershy, he is just... So cute! And, he had a harmonica tied up on his neck. When I asked Rarity, she said it was not the latest fashion but, I guess it was to do with his interests... Anyway, he is white on the fur, and his mane is blue, as I said, he was similar to the DJ... His eyes are red, and the only thing that makes him any different from our DJ is that he is an earth pony, oh also, he is a stallion, of course!"
Remix sighed. His memories refreshen as he continued. Nopony knew he was an unicorn until they slept over a night with him. His horn was surely too small, he liked to keep it hidden on his flat, spiky on the end and around mane. He actually liked to pretend that he was an earth pony. It was an embarrassment for him somehow.
"Dear diary...
I think I'm in some feelings for him... It feels strange when I'm near him, or spending my time with him. Like all of my Pinkie Senses go crazy! So I'll ask my parents about what they think of him when I have the chance! It's funny and embarrassing to tell these even to you diary, but it makes me happy to do! Oh, I have to cut short today. It's DJ's birthday tonight, and I'll try to get to know of our new friend! I'm off to prepare the cakes!"
Some of the pages had little drawings on empty places of them, like hearts or balloons, things Pinkie liked. He turned the page again.
"Dear diary...
He got himself into trouble last night. He had an argument with our DJ... I never thought these two were going to argue on the first meeting but, the important thing is that I must be near him anytime I can. I must stand up for him anywhere I can. I just feel that I must... Oh also, they'll have a showdown with the DJ. Two days later. I must help him! Oh I also never knew they weren't relatives with her. She is just... Too similar to him. But of course, even if that gets me out of their scene, I'll try my chance on him!"
Keeping on turning the pages, Remix was reading the events through Pinkie's eyes. And, oddly, it was not creeping him out, unlike how she always acted near him. She always creeped him out with her strange reactions...
"Dear diary...
Today, Rarity's little sister seemed like she was... Scared. I was not able to find out why but, she was surely scared... Anyway, Rarity's outfit he did for Remix really looked well on him, he was even more cute with it! He said it was fine too. He was going to show himself with that outfit on the showdown. He was much more than cute actually, he was super duperly nice! He just shows himself too modestly... Like he is nothing. This makes him even more cute through my eyes! You must be wondering diary, why did I started to tell you about him all of a sudden, and stopped my whole daily talk, I just can't stop thinking about him actually, what did he do today, did he ever imagined me, you name it. Also he was one of the few that were able to keep theirselves cool on their first meetings with me! He is not that random as me but, he has so much things in common with me diary!"
'I kept my cool on our first meeting? I actually cried loudly for some space. She hugged me enough to faint me...' He thought as he kept on reading the diary, she was surely random...
"...Today I also learned that he was able to "Remix" songs. His talent was to remix songs, but he was not able to create his own songs... He also had the talent to use almost every instrument. He said he was able to use six to five instruments on his will simultaneously. But, he was not able to sing if he was using instruments. And it was not possible for him to do it the other way around, either... He said it took him two years to learn and somewhat master all of the instruments... But he said he was not the best in any of instruments, he was... Umm... Something like an "Equal Synergy" of them as far as he told me. But I'm pretty sure he can beat one of the musicians with his eyes closed any day. He just has to believe! Also, according to him, he was so strange that even on his school days nopony ever wanted to be with him. Not to mention he was the type nopony ever took that seriously, the musician type. But these all were on his mind, he is a cute little puzzle!"
Remix's head was now all tangled up. Pinkie never wanted any harm according to the diary but, she did the worst she could in the end...
"Dear diary...
He tied up with the DJ on the showdown! He thanked us all for helping him on the way also! It was soooo fun to help him win it... Eh, tie it! It was also so nice to hear him thanking to me! I think he is feeling the same as I do to him... My parents are also agreed on that I'm going to have a nice life if I was thinking about choosing him! The life is so nice and full of surprises diary! Like me!"
"Dear diary...
Right now, he is paying me a visit! Can you believe it? He and Sweetie Belle are inside my house for a breakfast! Somehow all of my other friends came to me for a visit on the same day but, it is still a visit Alright! I have to head down now, I hope he'll get to know me soon too! I already sent my mom and dad out to spend my time with him!..."
Remix closed his eyes and smiled slightly, mumbled again.
"Heh, I knew they were going away for that purpose."
Finishing his words, he continued. The page was not over yet.
"...The breakfast... It did not went as I planned diary... Everypony found the same darn day to visit me for a breakfast I guess, DJ and her friend Octavia were here too... I watched as they two talked... Remix and DJ. First, I tried to join in but, it was like what the whole group wanted... They just did not let me even introduce myself to him... He knew my name already but, I just... Wanted to talk to him a little, make him known of me, rather, I just Watched them first talk slightly, then the whole talk turned into asking each other's interests, stuff and all... The DJ was, so similar to him, which also fastened up their actual meeting. Their anger, like washed away in a sudden... In the end, it was obvious they both liked each other... It was just... So sad for me to watch those... I think I broke something... To my left diary, where my heart is... Oh wait, the door is knocking... I, I must keep my mane like usual, I can see it's Remix... He must not see me sad."
He remembered what he did, she was so sad... So, so sad... Even if it was for a little time, it was nice to keep her happy.
"...Maybe, my hopes weren't all dead diary... He just thanked me for letting them eat at my house and... He kissed me on my cheek! Maybe he tried to show me that he really had interest on me, regardless of what happened between him and DJ today! He said that I was his 'The best friend a pony can ever have'! Words are not enough to describe my happiness diary! I, I love you! I'm just so happy!"
Yes, it was his first time seeing Pinkie fly up to her room, even forgetting to close the door... She was so happy at that moment... He turned a couple pages. Some of them had only drawings on the whole page.
"Dear diary...
Twilight said that Remix wanted us to help him... He was not enough himself to help DJ ready up for her upcoming concert... It was making me feel strange seeing him near her... I actually did not wanted to go so... but, I had to keep well with him... So we headed to her house anyway. It surely was a mess! When Twilight gave us our jobs, mine was to help Remix prepare her songs! I started to walk along with Sweetie Belle and Remix while Twilight and others started to clean the house. I learned something else from him that day, he had to walk through his entire worktime in order to remix the songs... He is one cute, funny, super-duper stallion! I just like him more each time I learn about him! We both are so random and unique!"
He sighed, in his mind... She was too, too random. He wondered how nopony ever told Pinkie her randomness was scaring ponies away, maybe it was just him but, her randomness was so much that she scared him sometimes. But she refused to accept they were like that with DJ in the end... Where the real problem was.
"...Octavia... She just told us that... She saw DJ and Remix about to kiss on DJ's room... And, everypony around... Just, congratulated it... Like it was the thing they expected... I wasn't believing what I just heard... Like, she stabbed a knife to my heart in a sudden... I... I don't know what I can say... Nor I'm going to believe this... We are stuck in their house tonight, I must make him at least give me a chance!"
Sighing after completing the last word, he flipped the page again. But rather than expected, he was drawn to the page, with Pinkie.
'Looks like she had nothing important to write that day...' He thought. Continued onto the next page.
"Dear diary...
Nope, she was right... It's over diary. He loves her. I already had the things planned for him on hearts and hooves day, even if the day was three months later, but... Seeing him like that... Just broke me... It crushed my heart like a... More likely, it popped it like a balloon... We had to search for their missing chariot last day, they were missing for almost a day, after the concert, which of course they went together, without us, they went missing. I got so worried over him but, no. I should haven't. We found them late today. On the snow, kissing each other wildly. His wounds were not even enough for him to stop... And he turned back to us like nothing happened, just asked us didn't we ever saw two ponies falling in love... And kissed her again... And as usual, everypony congratulated them... I don't believe something like that just happened diary... He, he never loved me. Just because on that breakfast, they met each other... They, they loved each other on their first meet! I cannot believe it! I just can't! I'm telling these to you through my tears diary, you probably cannot see it but, I'm doing... I just wanted somepony to love, was that too much? I finally found it, then he got taken right in front of my eyes! Can you believe it? Nor I can! I, I must at least try my chance, just to learn his thoughts on me! I must not, not lose him!"
"Dear diary...
Today, I watched... Watched, shed my tears inside myself as I did. He knocked my door, I was full of joy today without a reason, it was my usual moments actually. I opened it, and saw them two on my house. Smiling innocently, and my other friends were behind them, watching me. I asked them what was the big deal, they said that did I forgot, they were going to leave Ponyville together, they were going for a Equestria-Tour, to both give concerts around the whole Equestria, and to have a nice meeting of each other fully... I had to smile, through my tears and anger, I managed to keep my hair like usual of course, I did not even had a chance to say him that special word I kept to myself for a long time... To say him 'I like you' at least... I just... Watched as my love, not even having a single idea on how I felt to him, waved his hoof together with her, and headed far away, got out of the vision on the train they were in... I was speechless, like my inner part tried to break out of my mind to tell him what I wanted to, but my body was frozen shut on the moments. I just walked to the train station silently with them, my eyes which got small on the way. My mind was only focusing on not showing my pain to anypony else at that time. But he... He was different, he was filled with joy. He waved his hoof to me on the way as I said, through the window, and he asked me if everything was right. I prepared myself, took the biggest breath I had and readied myself up to yell to him that I never wanted him to go, and to say him I loved him... But, these all were happening on my barely-functionable mind. I realized I was still frozen shut, waving my hoof to nothing as my tears finally flooded up my eyes. The train was gone, he was gone, with a special somepony that wasn't me with him. I was only able to reply with a 'G-Goodbye', still waving my hoof to nothing while holding myself to not cry. Twilight finally broke my trance, the only thing I did after that was... Running to my house, locking the door up quickly regardless of the questions that were pointed to me, and shedding every single darn tear I kept to myself until today... I just hope that, he will not forget me..."
Remix actually, never thought about she might feel like that. On that day, he was just so happy. Only thinking that he finally achieved his dad's task... He flipped a page. Every page from now on, until the day they arrived back, had drawings of him and her, sometimes other ponies too. And, only some of them had actual writings on them.
"Dear diary...
I just can't sleep. My mind is not letting me sleep. It's asking me how could I not even tell him what I wanted... It's sad... Something inside myself is gone. Something I can't describe is not in it's place..."
"Dear diary...
Twilight lied to me, I counted the days! She said he will be back in a month, it's two months passed! He is not coming back! I want him HERE! I only want to tell him how I felt! I want nothing else! You know, I just hope he did not forgot about me... I bet he's having a great time with his... Special somepony."
Finally, after more random drawing included pages, he reached a serious page.
"Dear diary...
He is back! It passed three months but he is... Everypony made a big meeting to them as usual, and asked how it went out there. But, something was changed... He was... Not acting the same as he did to DJ when he first came here... I finally realized what was going, not to mention I heard him saying that... He brought a ring to her, and wanted this to be a secret to Sweetie Belle. I just don't get it, what is wrong to not like me? I wasn't feeling fine that day, I felt like how I felt in that moment where we watched them go in the train. I felt that cold, sad feeling inside myself one more time. I realized that, I awaited him for 3 months over nothing. I lost him."
"Dear diary...
You know, I said I lost him. I realized that he was scared of me somehow when I heard him telling those to Sweetie Belle. I know, listening to a neighborhood is not a right thing but, they always have a talk with her before they sleep... Tonight the talk was about me... When Sweetie asked did he ever felt like that to Pinkie, he just laughed and said her to sleep... She asked another question... Which I wanted to ask, too... 'Why? You met her before you met DJ. And she was so nice to you. Why?' He yawned, said that I was too crazy... Not to mention I fainted him on a couple of our meetings with my hug, were his last words. He broke me... He broke me really bad... I realized that, I was not acting like usual near him as I said, I was going all nuts near him... Enough to scare him off, as he mentioned. That was the wrong thing I did. But I was not able to help it! My body was not able to keep it together near him... I can't believe I dug my own grave... I can't believe it..."
"Dear diary...
I thought it was going to be a nice thing that we were neighborhoods at first... No, every single day I see both of them, which of course living together in Remix's house, walking out of it together, waking up with musical stuff, having fun, happy each day... I am able to hear their talk if I listen enough, every single darn day, she wakes him up with a kiss on his cheek, says him that the breakfast is ready. They both are happy... Every day I hear them talking... It makes my anger tick... Just remembering how I lost him right between my hooves... It is enough. Enough for me... I WILL make him know how I feel, and I'm pretty sure he'll choose me in the end... I know... What to do... To achieve this, to end my whole pain..."
The next page contained a picture... That one which Pinkie took. Remix asked Pinkie to take a picture of DJ and himself by DJ's great request... He never got what was the big deal with it, but DJ wanted it anyway. So he accepted... And Pinkie took the photo... It was the same photo, a copy of it glued to the diary. Himself and DJ on it, like the other copies, while her face was... Crossed with a big X mark... That day... Which caused the whole situation they were in right now... Was that one...
The rest had nothing else but random drawings of random things... With the strange same notes on all of them...
"He hates me now..."
"What did I do...?"
"Why?"
"What went wrong out there?"
"Was that me who did all these?"
"I just wanted him to notice me for... A single time, enough to... Give me a chance..."
The notes were firstly questioning, but they were getting dramatic to the end...
"I am a monster... Inferno is right..."
"I, I can't believe what I did..."
"I left the Ponyville without a music now..."
"I regret everything I ever did..."
"I lost him, and these are all my fault. I was his 'best friend a pony can ever have...'
"...But no, it was not enough... I wanted more. And I lost everything I had."
"I'm sorry..."
"I'm so sorry..."
He turned the final pages, oddly, one of them contained an actual thing.
"Dear diary...
Today we learned Remix was going to face something to fix what I caused. As far as I understood from princesses... He was going to do something like that... Also, I just can't get my hair back to it's normal shape for a week... I just can't... Nothing works... And Remix is not listening to me either. I want to talk to him, at least to hear my friend's voice for one more time... He is so angry at me... He just hates me, and it's my fault. I regret every single thing I did... Both to my best friend Dash and to DJ... No, her name was Vinyl, Vinyl Scratch, according to Remix's note. I believe this was her name, I trust him. But I feel that something inside me has died... Also... My friends are not the same, they became silent near me... And I know the reason. Fear. When I did this same thing to Dash, they were just like that... For a month. I just hope it won't be that much this time. And, also, we met again with Remix on Zecora's hut today. He proved my facts... He hates me even more than ever... He refused to even give me a sorry for my hoof... It's still not his fault, I understand. I wouldn't say a sorry to somepony who took my love... Regardless of what happened... I just hope that... He will be happy. I will be as long as he is. But his words were, 'I hope you are sad Pinkie, because this will be the thing that'll keep me happy.' He must be really happy now... And if it is my happiness to give, I'm accepting it... Just to make him happy..."
He felt that he was feeling strange, his heart, it was like that somepony smashed it... And those last words, finally made his tears fall down... Luckily enough, his friend paid no attention.
"...I'm sorry Remix. I'm sorry... I just wish that, you can see these. I just can't tell those to you... I was never able to... And of course, I love you. You still have your place on my heart... As I mentioned to you on that horrible event, 'Right where I prepared your place, my heart...' Heh, I love those creepy moments of mines, even I'm believing that somepony is going to read those that I'm talking to the reader right now... Basically, I'm so sorry... I am...
Now, we are just praying that Remix and Inferno will come back alive. Nopony was able to stop them. Neither the princesses, nor Vinyl's best friend... I wish I can say more things but, my wound is not letting me write well... Nor my head or my heart is... I have to stop... I'm so, so sorry... Please... Forgive me."
He closed his eyes, it was enough. Also, there were nothing else written... He never knew those, he never knew Pinkie saw things like that... He felt that he had to say a sorry for her, he reached the cotton on his friend's backpack, closing the diary.
"Whatcha need mate?"
Inferno turned back to his friend by the shaking he made while searching for the thing he wanted, he saw that his friend's eyes were all filled with tears. His friend was forcing himself to not cry actually.
"I have... I have to, I must say a sorry to Pinkie."
"Dontcha think, it's too late for that?" Following a laugh, he tried to make his friend remember what happened at Zecora's Hut.
"It is or not! I must make her happy before I die!"
Rolling his eyes, Inferno showed him the time. Licked his hoof and held it on the air.
"If my experiences tell me the truth mate, and of course they are. The wind is too slow. So, it's about midnight. After they wake up maybe?"
"Heck no! I gotta make her happy!"
He fastened up his pace on searching the backpack.
"Pal, pal, wait up. They are sleeping right now. How about you tell me what you did when you came here till' so?"
Remix stopped, it might not be pleasant to do this, yeah... After all those tears, he should've let Pinkie get a nice sleep at least... Slowly stopping his search, he stood back up from where he crawled.
"Well, it's pretty boring for you."
"Can't be bored than right now huh?"
"Ah, Inferno. You are always the same, aren't you?"
Taking his backpack up again and rubbing his spiky dark red mane, Inferno smiled.
"Sure am! Let's go."
He prepared himself to listen while they started to move forward the endless cave...