The Tale Of Bronism

by LunarLover

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Human, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 2664

A historical look at our Fandom

When Lyra Heartstrings steals an ancient book from the Canterlot Library,(Which was completely uncalled for) she finds herself reading on a mystical sub race of humans named Bronies, delving into the culture and history of such a cult she finds dark secrets that she never would expect to learn from a race she once admired.

A historical look at our great Fandom as well as the current problems and issues the Fandom is currently facing.

Really it's just me ranting

Note: It has some Bon Bon as well, and anyone with a bundle of facts that would like to share with me will be thanked in the story (I have seen Ballad of the Brony)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-23 21:06:36 UTC

The Book

Ah crap

Cursed Lyra Heartstrings as she rushed through the dark maze of books as quickly as her hooves could carry her, any second the alarm would be raised and a swarm of guards would be there to stop her escape, cursing her luck she sprinted faster than ever away towards the exit. Already she could feel cold sweat on her neck as the sound of hoof steps began to echo around the quiet library, every second she wasted meant a higher chance of failure. She dug her hooves into the ground to make a quick right turn and carried on at full speed.

I will not fail She chanted to herself silently as a mantra to ignore the burning in her thighs, she had systematically planned out her route as well as the perfect time to strike, many days of stakeouts and careful planning had boggled down to this one moment, and she wasn't about to let it go.

Almost there She braced herself against the upcoming light that was freedom, pulling her hood further down her face as  if to stop any passerbys from catching a glimpse of her face as she charged towards the welcoming light.

Then a single mind shattering word caused her polished plan to crumble into dust.

"Stop!" Lyra stopped inches away from the snout of a single guard pony whose shadow loomed over her last exit.

"Argh bubbles" She swore to herself as the guard stared her down intently. She had forgotten that there was always a shift change in the afternoon, lowering her head in failure she felt powerless against his soul piercing gaze and waited for her final judgement to be handed to her.

"You dropped something back there." The guard pony levitated her hankerchief back into Lyra's bag before directing her back outside while thanking her for visiting the Canterlot Library, Lyra breathed a sigh of relief and headed for the city square to meet her accomplice.

"I got the stuff." That single line that caused Bon Bon to spew out the very famous Canterlot rose tea in surprise when a hooded pony crept up behind her and placed a large brown paper wrapped parcel in front of her.

"I..I don't know wha...what you mean...I only do it o...once a month I swe-" She stopped her stammering confession upon realizing it was her roommate under the hood.

"Lyra! What do you think you are doing scaring ponies like that?" Bon Bon fumed angrily as she wiped up her spilt tea and smiled apologetically to nearby onlookers for her Unicorn friends behavior. Lyra simply darted her eyes left and right before slipping the mysterious package back into her jacket.

"Are you done playing spy? People are looking." Chastised Bon Bon as she waved her hand to order another pot of tea. Lyra simply sat down and ordered a cheesecake completely breaking out of her stealth character.

"Nevermind you, I got it." She squealed silently trying to suppress her increasing excitement.

"Uh huh." Bon Bon raised an eyebrow at her friends overzealous behavior, she hadn't been this excited before except for the time when she saw Pinkie Pie grow fingers, It was an impossible story to believe but luckily her excitement died down before ponies could put her in a mental institute.

"What is 'it' exactly?" Questioned Bon Bon as she sipped the remnants of her previous pot of tea, she had hoped to come to Canterlot with her roommate to try some of the rich tea and sweets as well as sell her own wares, however seeing as Lyra has put herself in another crazy escapade might mean that they may have to leave before someone grabbed a pitchfork.

"It's what I had been planning for the last month." Explained Lyra as she munched into her recently arrived cake.

"But I was the one who suggested that we go to Canterlot last week?" Said Bon Bon.

"That's what I wanted you to think." Lyra said coolly as she casually munched on her cheesecake whilst revealing to her friend how powerful of a puppet master she was. Bon Bon rolled what she was hearing through her ears to try and make sense of it but decided to give it up, trying to understand Lyra or why she insisted on practicing to walk on two legs was a mystery. She sighed and waited for her friend to finish eating so she could try and understand what she was about to walk into.

"Alright so how about we finish up here and then head back to the apartment to check out what is this thing you're so interested in then." Said Bon bon as she reached down to touch the package only for a levitating spoon to rap her sharply on the hooves.

"Only I can hold it." Came the answer to Lyra's sudden attack. She levitated the book into her satchel and carried on eating silently, Bon bon nursed her hoof and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

Well I guess I will have to wait then.

The sound of curtains swishing and windows being slammed shut only helped to fuel Bon Bon's desire to know what was in the package, Lyra had blind folded her and refused to take it off until she was ready, feeling the urge to rip off the blindfold and steal the book had started to wander through her mind, Bon Bon began to wonder if the book was cursed.

"We must secure our location or they will find me." Hissed Lyra from some corner of the room as Bon Bon heard her mint green roommate shuffling about the room dragging tables and chairs, Bon Bon rolled her eyes from under the blindfold and began to focus her attention on meditating, using her non-existent abilities to see with her ear she tried to pint point where Lyra had gone.

I can't hear any more shuffling, is she done? Bon Bon twitched her ear left and right like a rabbit trying to pick up the faintest sounds around her.

"We must not be found." came Lyra's deafening voice inches from her ear

"YYAHHHH!"  Bon Bon leaped several feet into the air like a cat that was shot with a tazer, Lyra took note of her friend's ability to leap to large heights in the back of her mind before continuing to the book.

"Really Bonny you can't scream that loud or our cover will be blown."

Bon Bon ripped off the blindfold in shock and rage, realizing the apartment had drastically changed around her she felt her head go woozy before grabbing on to Lyra by the shoulders.

"What...Have...You..Done... to this APARTMENT!" Bon Bon shrieked, Lyra simply shrugged and slapped Bon Bon across the face.

"This no time for lollygagging soldier, any minute they will bust down that door and take us both into the dungeon and I plan to find the secrets of this book before that happened."

Bon Bon was still recovering from the slap and the shock from discovering all the furniture being moved to barricade the windows and doors, the only thing left in place was two chairs, one table with an ominous lamp hanging over it swaying from side to side, the rest of the lights had been ripped out leaving this sole light bulb the only source of light for Bon Bon to witness the destruction of a very expensive suite.

"Oh dear Celestia, why did I ever agree to let this maniac bunk with me..." Moaned Bon Bon as Lyra darted around the room lighting candles and adding more barricades to the windows and doors.

"Octavia told me it was a bad idea, but no, I had to be the good samaritan and take her into my apartment..." She carried on as Lyra placed the parcel in front of both of them before donning a pair of reading glasses.

"Shall we begin my apprentice?" Lyra said in a dark deep voice, Bon Bon simply raised an eyebrow before sighing.

"Well why not, it's not like I can leave now that you stacked the fridge and the couch up against the door." Plopping down beside her roommate she peered at the strange parcel with increasing interest.

"So what exactly is this anyway?"

"Wait and see my friend, for this." Lyra waved her hoof dramatically over the parcel. "Is the answer to the world beyond."

Not acknowledging Bon Bon's eye rolling Lyra unwrapped the parcel with her magic before blowing off the dust from it's front.

"This is it?"  Bon Bon stared at what lay before her.

"Yup"

"This...is...a book..." Bon Bon breathed in and out slowly while Lyra simply nodded in silent agreement.

"You destroyed our suite as well as wasted my money coming to Canterlot...For a book."

"Well when you put it like that...Yeah more or less." Lyra quickly opened the book allowing the old book to relieve itself of the dust captured in it from the last few decades of loneliness.

"Shall we begin?"

Bon Bon shook her head and rubbed her temples in frustration. "Oh why not, the last thing we need you to be exposed to is more humans, I mean rea-."

Lyra ignored her friend's lecture and flipped the page to the first chapter with her magic.

"Chapter one, in the beginning there was man..." Lyra began as Bon Bon realized the long day that lay before her.

Bon Bon awoke with a start, realizing the room was as dark as it was before they started due to Lyra boarding up the windows, she squinted at the clock to catch the time.

"9:30...Dear Celestia, Lyra how long was I asle-" Bon Bon turned to her side only to realize her green friend was missing.

"Lyra?" Bon Bon called into the darkness of the kitchen, Lyra and the book were both missing, the candles had long burned out until a single one was left.

"Lyra? You there?" She called out once again hoping for a response, nothing, the silence was thick in the air, mixed with the darkness, Bon Bon felt a heavy feeling in her heart.

"Now's not the time for jokes Lyra, come out" She called as fear began to grip her soul, realizing the candle was going out, she quickly searched around for a lighter to get more candles lighted up in the room.

"Gurhhh"

Bon Bon froze, she had definitely heard that sound, a guttural inpony(inhuman) sound from the darkness, quickly struggling for lights she scampered around in the growing darkness in search for a match.

"Gurghh"

There it was again She thought to herself as she struggled with her hooves with the box of matches.

"Oh dear Celestia, please protect me from whatev-"

"Hrghhh"

Bon Bon dropped the matches and headed for the door, finding strength from fear, she tossed aside the fridge and began to push away the couch to escape the monster in the darkness. She could hear it, scampering closer and closer, aiming for the kill.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit." She muttered in an unmarelike fashion as the couch refused to budge, the scampering got closer and closer.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shiiiiiii AHHHHHHHH!!" She screamed as she felt the creature tap her on the shoulder, spinning around she swung wildly hoping to land a shot.

"Woah woah woah Bon Bon calm down." Bon Bon peeled open her eyelids to see the monster only to find Lyra standing there with a cake in hoof.

"Lyra? Where were you? I called out and...and"

"Oh yeah." Lyra sheepishly scratched her head before munching on the cake. "I went to get cake.

"But...but...the noises, the growling... I heard it I swear." Bon Bon slumped onto the floor on the brink of wetting herself.

"Yeah, I got the cake because my stomach was rumbling, but anyway good news is I have something exciting to show you." Dragging Bon Bon across the floor, Lyra plopped her next to the book before leaving her for a second. A second later Bon Bon heard a flick before a bright light blinded her.

"Yeah that's better." Called out Lyra in the blinding light before sitting down beside her and the book.

"So anyway, I was reading when i came across this picture." Lyra motioned with her hoof to a single picture, Bon Bon looked over the picture, her eyes growing wider with each passing second.

"Lyra, aren't those..." She tapped the picture but the words couldn't come out.

"Yes those are ponies" Clarified Lyra, "To be exact, they are us."

Bon Bon felt a cold chill run up her spine, "Lyra, what are we doing in a book about humans?"

"That's the thing," Lyra began excitedly, "This book talks about a sub group of Humans, when collection of people who love or find pleasure in the same thing get together to form a group known as a fandom, much like a sewing or book club, but this 'fandom' is about us."

Bon Bon stayed silent allowing Lyra to continue. "This 'fandom' worships us, almost everyone is here, Twilight and her friends, The princesses, Ponyville, all of us, carefully documented in this book." Lyra explained while tapping on the picture that portrayed the elements of Harmony on the front, something that Lyra had seen only for a few seconds when the monster Discord came to Ponyville.

"Of course a few things here and there are wrong, apparently, you have changed voices a few times, but I believe that was due to that one time you took poison jo-"

Lyra turned to her friend only to realized she had stopped listening. "Bon Bon?"

Bon Bon was in a state of panic, the rush of information as well as the actual information started to scare her, whatever this book was, it documented everything, all sorts of information, as if a they were being watched all this time and yet never to be seen.

"Bon Bon?"

"We need to burn this book now!" Bon Bon shrieked as she lunged for the book attempting to burn the pages with the nearby candle.

Lyra instantly trapped Bon Bon with a force field and pushed her into the ground.

"No please!" Lyra increased her magic desperately trying to stop her roommate from destroying her only link to the world that she had dreamed about for her whole life.

"This book is a curse Lyra! It has information we aren't meant to know!" Screamed Bon Bon in frustration as Lyra tried harder and harder to restrain her friend.

"Please Bon Bon stop!" pleaded Lyra as her magic started to wane.

"Why? Why do you want to find out so badly. Why Lyra?"

"SO I WON'T BE CALLED A FREAK!"

Immediately Bon Bon stopped struggling, the magic restraint had stopped and Lyra was sobbing over the book, protecting it in case Bon Bon went back to burning it.

"You know how they talk about me, you know they already think I deserve to be in a hospital." Lyra wiped the tears from her eyes, Bon Bon simply sat in dead silence, her mouth slightly agape but no words coming out.

"This book is my only way, the only way that I now that I am not a freak, that my dreams are real and that for once I am right, and I thought of all people, you would understand." Lyra picked up the book and bolted, as fast as she could, hoping that her tears would dry as she ran.

"Lyra!" Bon Bon snapping to her senses before giving chase.

"Lyra?" She called as she ran towards the kitchen only to see the back door wide open.

"Lyra I'm..." She stared at the empty doorway, the night wind blowing through chilling the room and the only pony left inside.

"I'm sorry." She said to no pony as she quickly ran out the door into the darkness in search for her friend.

Oh Celestia, what have I done?