The sword of the...ponies?

Attempted murder
(or: how to kill your brother)

It was a beautiful morning and Spike was enjoying his morning walk. Not that he liked walking all that much, but ever since Twilight had put him on a diet he frequented his secret gem stash every morning. He was just walking past the everefree forest (but still at a safe distance) when he suddenly heard a strange noise coming from the trees.

“Als ik je te pakken krijg”

“maar, ik deed niks”

It sounded like voices, but spike couldn’t make out what they were saying. Suddenly two figures burst from between the trees. First Spike thought they were running from something, but then he noticed that they were actually chasing each other, all the while yelling to each other.

“I told you I didn’t do it!!!” the first one yelled.

“I’ll kill you, I swear on the queens crown jewels I will kill you!!!” The second screamed back.

“You’re looking at this the wrong way, see it as an opportunity to learn about another species.” The first one replied. “Besides, it isn’t my fault we’re like this. It was that psionic field. Just give me some time to study it. And that horn really suits you.”

“You better quickly learn to fly with those wings of yours because when I catch you I’m going to stick this horn up your…”
Spike looked on as the two strange yelling ponies ran off in the direction of ponyville. He shook his head and continued his walk.

“The strange ponies you see these days.”

Rainbow Dash lay on a cloud, taking a nap. Her after breakfast-nap, the nap that came before her pre-lunch nap. She was just dreaming of…well…maybe…I don’t know, what does a Pegasus with rainbow colored hair dream about? Let’s just say it was a nice dream. When she was rudely awakened by the racket that came from below. she stuck her head over the side of the cloud to yell something at the idiot that had disturbed her nap.

And then she saw them. A black Pegasus,( and with ‘a black pegasus’ I mean completely black, black fur, black hooves, black mane, black tail. The only exception was the fur on his face which was white.) with a panicked expression on his face, running around all the while flapping pathetically with his wings and occasionally coming a few inch of the ground. He was being chased by a unicorn with dark blue fur and a yellow mane and tail, who kept yelling obesities at the Pegasus.
Although it was amusing to look at, especially with Pegasus’s ludicrous attempts at flight, she decided to literally ‘cut the chase’ so she could get back to the more important business of her nap.

She took off from the cloud and landed right in front of the fleeing Pegasus, who came to an abrupt halt after which his pursuer ran head first against him making him jump three feet in the air with a painful yelp as the unicorns horn poked in his flank.

Rainbow Dash, who wanted to have this over with as soon as possible, Had no doubt prepared a speech over responsible behavior so that the entire situation could be solved quickly.

“WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU TWO DOING!?”

Or not.

The unicorn, who was slightly taken aback by the turn of events, whispered to his companion who was still rubbing his sore flank.

“Jasper, have I just imagined it, or did that creature really say something to us?”

“ It was more screaming than saying, but I guess she did. She must be one of the intelligent life forms our scans detected.”
“well this one doesn’t look very intelligent, I mean look at her hair.”

“It looks like she glued a rainbow to her head, big deal. Instead of admiring the local fauna you should help me find a way to explain we’re humans.”

“Well, technically, I don’t think we are human anymore.”

“Yes I know that, but I mean we should find a way to tell her that in reality we aren’t members of her species, but humans.”
“I’m not even sure we are still human. In reality, that is”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, since that last genetic enhancement of yours I don’t know if we can still be classified as human beings.”
“The basics of biology state that as long as two individuals can mate in natural circumstances and can produce fertile offspring, they are of the same species.”

“What good is that to us, I didn’t get any offspring after the genetic enhancement. I didn’t even have sexual intercourse after it. Come to think of it, I’ve never had sexual intercourse.”

“…”

“What!? Like you’ve had so much sex.”

“Not really, but sometimes a new specimen is in need of a ‘thorough’ inspection.”

“I didn’t know you used human test-subjects”

“Who said anything about human.”

“… you disgust me.”

“It’s not that bad, Tarkan females can be very ‘gentle’ and morrigi are not much to look at from a human point of view but they are very flexible.”

“Doesn’t make it sound less disgusting.”

“Oh, and on a side note. I actually do use human test-subjects.”

“Why are we even discussing this, this isn’t going to help us!”

“You’re right, I suggest we ask for her name.”

“Who’s name?”

“That of the strangely colored creature standing over there, or did you forget about her.”

“I actually did, this conversation is going on for such a long time that even the readers probably forgot she was there.”

“The who forgot what now?”

“Nothing!”

They both turned their heads back to Rainbow Dash, who stood there with her mouth open, not really understanding what they were talking about; She quickly closed it when she heard the Pegasus clear his throat in a very obvious way.
“Ahem….Now that I have your attention, would you be so kind as to share your name with us?”

Rainbow Dash, who was still a little confused by the recent change of events, quickly regained her composure and glared at the two strange ponies.

“Shouldn’t you be the ones to tell me your names first.” She practically growled. “You are the ones to run around, screaming like idiots and disturbing my…work.”

“yes, but you are the one who so rudely interrupted our…jovial discussion.”

“Jovial? It looked like he was trying to kill you.”

“Just a little dispute between siblings, nothing big.”

“So…you two are brothers.” She asked a little surprised.

“Yes, my name is Jasper and my brother’s name is Casper. We are twins, identical twins to be exact.”

Dash raised an eye brow “you don’t look very identical. You look more like two weirdoes to me.”

Casper, who was getting a bit annoyed by the attitude of the Pegasus, stepped in front of his brother and glared at the Pegasus.

“Yeah, well you look like a rainbow barfed in your hair and you tried to clean it with your tail! Now would you please tell us your name so we can move on.”

Although she didn’t like to be insulted, she too would like to continue with her business.

“My name is Dash, Rainbow Dash.”

Immediately after she said that, Casper made a painful sounding noise after which he toppled over. Dash look at him, shocked, and then turned to Jasper to see a large grin plastered on his face.

Jasper looked at his brother and shook his head. “Oh my, it looks like he has choked on his laugh.”