The Secret Origins of Spike the Dragon
Spike tossed and turned in his little bed. Although he now understood his role in life as a baby dragon growing up as a pony, another problem whirled around in his mind.
"Twilight...are you still awake?"
"Yes, Spike," Twilight had not been facing him, as she had her eyes closed at the time and was trying to go to sleep. She opened her eyes as she spoke. "What is it?"
"I was thinking about the day you hatched my egg, and I was wondering...are you my mommy?"
"What?" Twilight turned over in her bed.
"Depending on how you look at it, you could actually be my biological mother instead of just like my foster mom or something."
Twilight hopped out of her bed and turned on a light.
"Why is this on your mind?" she asked as she searched her bookshelves.
"I saw 'Dragon Quest' recently," Spike answered.
Twilight groaned and found a book, bringing it to her pedastal with her magic. She opened it up and began to read it.
"What are you doing?" Spike asked, getting out of his bed and climbing down the stairs.
"I'm reading about pony and dragon physiology," Twilight replied. "And performing comparative research so I can answer your stupid question and get back to bed. I was seconds away from drifting off when you woke me, you little runt."
"Ok-ay," Spike said. "That might explain the sarcasm and the crankiness."
"I need my beauty sleep."
"That's what Rarity claimed when I snuck out last week and knocked on her door."
"Rarity is not the only beautiful pony in Equestria," Twilight mumbled darkly.
A moment of silence.
"You finished yet?"
Twilight groaned and shut her book.
"Screw this!" she exclaimed, throwing it across the room with her magic. "We can discuss this issue without research. I guess I could be your biological mother, because if a pony gives birth to an offspring, she becomes the mother. In dragon physiology, the mother dragon is the female dragon who lays the eggs. The father is the male dragon who comes, fertilizes them, and allows the dragon to be born. In the meantime, we can harvest the eggs and scramble them for breakfast. Just like chickens. I didn't lay your egg - obviously - but I hatched it. So I'm your father. Your female father - your mother."
"So you are my mom?"
"I'm not finished. In pony physiology, your mother is the pony who gave birth to you. So, speaking from that context, there's no way I could be your mother because I did not give birth to you under the regard of laying your egg. But I did hatch it. If that is enough to deem my motherhood, then I guess I am technically your mom."
"Eh, I wouldn't agree with that."
"But then we return to the fertilization part. If I were a stallion and hatched your egg, I would be your father and whomever laid your egg would be your mother. Do you consider the hatching of your egg to be your birth?"
"I guess. Because I technically wasn't born yet in the egg, right?"
"Right. So...I guess the only real explanation is this, Spike: you have two moms."
"That makes me sound like I have homosexual parents."
"If it makes you feel any better, I've never met your dragon mother. And probably never will. Now, I'm going to bed. I suggest you do the same before I get even crankier and beat you with a stick."
"Yes, ma'am- I mean, Mom."
Twilight got into bed. "Don't call me that. Ever again."
Spike crawled into his little bed. "Well, what should I call you then?"
"Twilight is fine. I may be your mom, but that doesn't mean you have to treat me like it."
"Oh, really? Huh, never mind then."
Words cannot describe the disgust on Twilight's face that moment.
"Just go the hell to sleep," she said, turning over and closing her eyes.
Spike did so as well. He tried to sleep for a few moments, but then had the urge to get out of bed again. Twilight noticed him stirring.
"What are you doing up? I'm trying to get some sleep!"
"Oh, don't worry about me, Twilight. Since you're one of my moms and my other mom was a dragon, I have grown curious about meeting her as well. What was she like? What did she look like? What kind of dragon was she? Did she like to breathe fire? Is she even alive and well? I have so many questions about her!"
Spike exited the Library as he began his search for his other mother. Twilight, unable to sleep, began to shamelessly beat herself in the face with her pillow.
"Why sleep when we can just stay up forever?" she asked. "And you know what - that's what I'll do - I'll just stay up forever!"
3 Months Later...
Spike returned to the Library.
"Hey, Twilight, I'm back! It turns out my dragon mother was a hardass. So...if it's cool, I'll just stay here."
"Welcome home, Spike," Twilight's eyes were humongous, her pupils shrunken in her eyeballs. Her mane was disheveled, and she looked like she hadn't taken a bath in months. "Welcome home! Ha-hah! Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHAH!"
Spike cringed. "On second thought...I'll go find another foster mom."
