Fish out of water OR Who says ya can't love a sun rising goddess

It was the break of dawn, and I decided to prepare myself for the training that was gong to be needed. It was around eight in the morning the guards, elements, and the princesses all gathered in the fields near the forest I was first in. "Welcome everyone to day one of our one and a half week training boot camp, for the next ten days we will train you all to the point were you will be able to stop one of the most powerful creatures on this world"! Rarity then replied "Sooooooo your going to make us into a bunch of ruffians like you. " "Well if this "ruffian" can help you all survive the uprising of a robot that destroys cities within a few minutes, than I'm the only one to help you".

Meanwhile somewhere near the training camp

"Alright men, thanks to Skid-mark we can finally find Joe, and wreck metal up so much he'll look like a soup can" a penguin in a generic army helmet said to his platoon of a blind platypus, a buff crocodile, a mentally insane chameleon, an eager road runner, and a fast thinking cheetah with hot-blooded glasses. "YEAH, and we'll bust anyone who tries to stop us." the croc said. "We must be peaceful, as my old master said "Violence must only be used as a last resort.". Hopefully we won't have to use violence".

A few hours of painful training

"The element of surprise is one of the most needed traits in order to be able to get a hit on ol' tin can, now I want one of you to GWAAAHHH"! What I didn't know was that Pinkie was already practicing on surprises before I even came here. "Surprise Mr. fish thing, for being the first to get you I declare a tickle fight." "Bwahahaha PLEASE STOP PRIVATE PINKIE, I'M EXTREMELY TICKLISH"! "GXD, LODWH IER JQW!" "Quick follow Kook, he knows where Joe is". My platoon ran as my laughing grew more and more, and then they hid behind some bushes to not put themselves in threat. "Quick Razor try to get a look around." "Gotcha sir, wait a second...... Oh dear god they're torturing the poor fool". They all gasped knowing I could possibly be in danger. "What are we gonna do Beak?" "You your head Slash." they then used Slash as a living battering ram. "BUT THE SLASHER DOESN'T WANT TO USE HIS HEAD!!!!!" "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH"!

Right as pinkie stopped tickling me the platoon just came bursting through the thicket and became an instant dog pile. "Hey Slash, Beak, Razor, Kook, Skid, Samuply what are you guys.." "Watch yourself number 2"! At that point he pinned me down to the ground while wielding his scatter gun. "We're here to save ya Joe." "Looks like it's time to kick @$$ and chew gum Razor!" "And it looks like were all out of Gum Slash.". At this point Samuply was hissing towards Luna while slapping his tail. "Thou shall not growl at the princess of the night disabled creature!" he then wrapped her up in some rope. "Grab Joe, and lets get out of here"! At that point Skid-mark picked me up like a football and tried to run toward the forest. "HALT YOU VANDALS!!!" Celestia then said right as we were at the front of the woods. They all stopped both scared out of there non-existing pants, and mind. "Sir, permission to wet myself like a little girl?" "Granted Slash".