Chapter 1: Dat Talking Cat
Discord was floating upside down in his mind, he had his arms crossed as he pouted over his defeat; the boredom had long got to him by now. His mind was its own separate dimension and the part he was in right now was like M.C. Escher’s Relativity except the stairs were made of pumpkin pudding and the plants were made of stucco. The featureless pony golems tried to no avail to climb the oozing stairs.
“Here I am stuck in stone…alone…again. I knew I should have been crueler to those annoying order order four horseshoe ponies, maybe even ki...” Discord stopped himself mid thought with a shake of his head.
“No, I don’t hurt ponies.” He reminded himself.
“Not that it matters anyway. You can’t change the past, well I can but that’s beside the point.”
"Well, I guess I should make something sentient to talk to so I'm not stuck in here talking to myself like an idiot, again. Oh it seems I've already started, wonderful. Maybe I should just get a black curly mustache and a white fluffy cat to complete this cliché villain image… Actually now that I think about it that is not a bad idea, I would look simply smashing with a mustache. Well I’d look smashing in anything; I bet that I could even make black jump suits look good."
Just then a white fluffy cat with a curly black mustache wearing a black jump suit with various utility belts strapped to it and a jet pack came flying through a door beneath Discord into the room he was in and out one of the open doors, closely followed by Mare Do Well on a magically produced blue flying disk.
"Not quite what I meant, but it is oh so deliciously chaotic."
Discord then heard Mare Do Well yell from the room she and the cat flew into in a high pitched female voice that reminded him of a certain rock loving quadruped marshmallow. "You can stop right there Opalevicious! Your crime spree is over, I've got you cornered."
He heard a deep female almost male sounding raspy voice respond to the hero pony in an obvious mocked dramatic tone. "Cornered, trapped, and treed, yes this unsatisfactory outcome of my plans at your hooves is almost certainly a cause for me to be melancholy, doleful, and gloomy.”
"Are you mocking me?"
"How canny, clever, and cunning of you my archnemesis, you deserve a treat. However you would do well to mark my next words with the utmost seriousness that they deserve. Today is the day that the cats will come to rule, rein, and reign over you insufferable and intolerable hoofed quadrupeds, and there is nothing you can do to stop me."
"What is your plan, and for that matter where have you sent us? This place is as chaotic as Strife and as random as her sister Dissension, only much less...violent than they were."
"All in due time my annoying analytical antagonist."
At this point Discord was seriously confused as to what was going on, and he did not like to be confused he preferred to be the one doing the confusing. He snapped his fingers and teleported himself into the room they were in. The room was a basketball court complete with bleachers and upside down hoops. In the middle of the court was a large glass aquarium filled with cheese. Why cheese you ask, because only salt water fish can breathe chocolate, duh. "Who are you two and how did you get in my mind?"
"C-C-Concord? But...but you're dead."
"What did you just call me?!" Discord yelled enraged at the name she called him. "My name is Discord spirit of chaos and disharmony; I am immortal and the most handsome being in the multiverse. You would do well not to forget it." He snapped his fingers and caused her hat to turn into water and get her soaking wet.
"My hat! This is the absolute. Worst. Possible. Thing! Why did you do that Concord?" She asked while she took off her mask with her magic and wring it out. She kept her dripping wet face and head hidden in a veil of glowing blue magic. "Now I have to make another one when I get back home."
"For the last time my name is Discord not Concord! Now then I was kind enough to tell you who I am now you two tell me who you are." Discord then looked around the room and scratched his head. "Hey were did that talking cat go?"
"Oh no! If I mess up one more time they'll demote me. If they demote me no pony will take my disguise shop seriously if the only disguises I've made are worn by rejects like me." She said in a very worried tone before she started to cry, the magical veil over her face started to slowly fade away.
Discord was very annoyed at this point, he hated seeing ponies cry and he hated not knowing something. "Stop crying right now!" He yelled to command her. She continued to cry, now intensified because Discord yelled at her.
The Draconequus groaned and pulled at his ears both out of frustration and trying to muffle the sound that was her whining. "If I help you to trap him will you stop that insistent weeping and tell me who you are?!" He screamed over her loud crying.
She perked up almost immediately; her once dimming blue veil returned to full power and almost blinded Discord. "Watch where you are shining that thing." Discord said as he covered his eyes with his paw to prevent the painful light from harming his eyes.
"Oh sorry." She said before she slipped back on her now damp mask, and cancelled her veil spell. "You really mean it you'll help me?"
"Yes." He said while he rubbed his eyes. "But first, who are you?"
"I'm Mare Do Well." She said in a way as if Discord should automatically know what that entails.
"Now I know everything about you, gee thanks." Discord said sarcastically. "Anyway why and how are you in my mind?"
"You know only what everypony else knows about me, secret identity you know.” She said with a huff. “And only Opalevicious can answer your question. The only reason I am here is because of her."
"So everypony knows about that shop you own?” Discord raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.
"Umm no, that was a rookie slip up." She said as she looked down and hoofed the disk she was on out of embarrassment.
Discord let out a hearty laugh. “You know you’re alright, for a pony. Stop calling me Concord and I might actually leave you alone the next time I’m out.”
“Next time you are out?”
“You’ve never heard of me till now have you?”
“No I haven’t. You don’t know who Concord is, do you?”
“It is a travesty of monolithic proportions that you have not heard of me and my perfect face, and no I haven’t heard of this Concord and why should I care with a name like Concord?”
“Why should you care?! He is the most important being in history; he sacrificed himself to save the world from the chaos sisters. In doing so his powers were inadvertently released all around the world, and because of that ponies developed special powers. You look exactly like he did which is why I thought you where him.”
Discord scratched his head and his right eye twitched. “Chaos sisters? Special Powers?” He thought to himself ‘She must be from a different universe.’ A plan formed in his head to travel to the universe she was from and spread chaos and disharmony, he had to suppress an evil smile.
“Ugh don’t you know anything? The chaos sisters were alicorns who wanted to use their power over chaos to destroy the world because everypony regarded them as freaks and ostracized them from society.”
When she mentioned how they were ostracized Discord zoned out, and completely forgot about his plan. He had a somber expression on his face as if he was remembering something from his past. The light that was coming from seemingly nowhere started to dim and the colors in the room started turning gray.
“Are you ok?” She asked with her head cocked to the side.
“Yes I am fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine, and why would you care?” He snapped.
“You just seamed really sad for a moment there. I care because…well I don’t know why I wouldn’t care.”
“Well I wasn’t, I’m a god why would I be sad now let’s find that cat and get it to send you out of my mind. It’s rather uncomfortable having two other beings in my mind. Do you have any ideas why she is here in the first place?”
"I don't know what she wants from your mind Con…err...Discord. Whatever it is, she will most likely leave me here when she gets it."
"I can't have that.”
“Then come on let’s get going, time is of the essence.” At that they both flew out of the room to begin searching for Opalevicious.
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Elsewhere in Discord’s mind.
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Opalevicious placed a small round metal object into the dark chocolate walls of the hallway that she was in. It had a large green screen on the front of it and sticking out of the top of it were three metal prongs with electricity cracking between them.
Once it was in place she tapped the screen with her paw. It lit up and an electronic female voice said, “Power transfer node four of four activated. Please state power level to use on the target now.”
“Ten thousand.”
“Warning using a power above nine thousand will kill mortal targets and neutralize any power transferred from the target. Do you wish to still use this power level?”
“Si. Sim. Sea.”
“Power transfer nodes one through four set at power level ten thousand.”
“Activate stealth mode.”
“Power transfer nodes one through four are now in stealth mode.” The nodes that were located on the walls, the ceiling, and the floor turned invisible.
The less than reputable cat rubbed her front paws together with a malign smile on her face. “How perfect, immaculate, and consummate.” She took off using her silver twin ion engine jetpack while cackling like a mad hyena.
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Back with Mare Do Well and Discord.
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Mare Do Well opened a door and leaned in it to look, she immediately regretted this decision. She was attacked by around fifty white winged snapping turtles with mouse traps for heads, as they rushed out of the room they were in. The constant snapping of their mouse trap heads drowned out her screams of pain.
When the turtles finally dispersed she lay on the ground shaking. There were multiple holes in her suit where her white coat could be seen.
Discord leaned out form the room she just opened and look down at her. “Yeah you gotta watch out for those things they are everywhere in here. Nasty little buggers aren’t they?”
Mare Do Well just glared daggers at him. She then sighed, tossed her front hooves up in the air, and said, “Well I was going to make a new hat anyway so I might as well make everything new.”
Discord chuckled at her display while munching on a peperoni pizza flavored light bulb he conjured out of thin air.
“Hey Discord can I ask you two questions?” Mare Do Well asked.
“Mmhmm.” Discord replied while he finished off the last of the light bulb.
“Why do you represent chaos and disharmony?”
“I would think it is obvious, I am made up of a bunch of animals mashed together in one.”
“Well that is why it seems wrong to me.”
“Elaborate for me please.” Discord was planning to destroy her misguided world view very slowly for the most enjoyment.
“Well with all those different parts working together in tandem toward a common goal, it would stand to reason that you symbolize harmony.”
Discord just floated there with his jaw agape not just because she had deeply offended him, she did, but because what she said actually fit. As it were Discord is the one whose world view was hurt, not Mare Do Well.
Mare Do Well just shrugged her shoulders. “I guess it is just a matter of different universes having different interpretations of things.” While they were searching earlier Discord had told her that he was from different universe than her.
“Yes it is. If you ever say I represent harmony again, well you remember what I did to your hat right?”
“Yes, and I shant be forgetting it anytime soon you uncouth drake.”
“I’ll do that do your entire wardrobe.”
She gasped, “You wouldn’t dare?”
“Oh but I would. I’d turn it all into foul smelling sea water.”
“You haven’t felt anything like the fury of a mare that loses her clothes. I will..”
Discord interrupted her by yelling, “Hey Rarity!”
“What!?” Soon after she realized her mistake. “I mean who is that? I haven’t heard that name until this particular point in time.”
He let out a loud laugh. “Nice try.”
“What gave me away?”
“Everything really, you need to work on staying in your Mare Do Well personality.” Discord snapped his fingers and transformed into a draconequus version of Simon Cowell. “Also your acting is horrid, horrendous, horrific, hideous, and other deprecating words that begin with H.” He snapped his fingers again and returned to normal.
“Ha ha ha.” She replied heavy with sarcasm.
“You should work on that fake laugh too. I give a 1 out of 10.”
She screamed and stomped her hooves in frustration. Discord just snickered.
There was suddenly a loud bang and when they turned they saw Opalevicious fly pass while making a very rude gesture with her paw.
“Why you little!” Discord shouted before he spread his wings and gave chase to the mustached cat bandito.
“Hold on wait uuuup!” Half shouted half whined Mare Do Well as she conjured and got on another blue disc, and followed Discord on it.
Discord and Opalevicious flew at speeds and took hair pin turns though the chocolate hallways that would make even a wonderbolt lose his lunch.
It took everything Mare Do Well had just to keep up. Discord noticed this after a few minutes into the chase and snapped his fingers causing Mare Do Well to be able to fly faster and keep up better. Mare Do Well tried to say thanks but due to the extreme wind caused by their dizzying speeds, not even she could hear what she said much less Discord.
Left. Right. Left. Right. All was a blur as they raced down the hallways. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say she was leading us somewhere.” thought Mare Do Well to herself.
They passed many strange rooms while they did this; one was a black empty space with naught but a single small toaster floating in it with a sticky note on it that read “I am brave.”. Another one was a room that had an actual sized replica of Equestria made of duplo blocks.
Mare Do Well came dangerously close to crashing into the wall more than a few times during this marathon of illogical mishaps, but Discord always kept her from doing worse than scraping against it for a few seconds.
After five more turns the hallway finally straightened out into a long stretch of dark chocolate. Opalevicious’s mouth turned into a nasty grin that would make even Sombra uncomfortable. She pressed a button on a very advanced watch located on her left paw. The engines in her jetpack went into overdrive and caused her to travel at just under the speed needed to break the color barrier. She left Discord and Mare Do Well in her blue ion fumes.
As she came up to where the power transfer nodes were located, she pressed the button again and turned off the overdrive. After slowing down enough she stopped and made a one hundred and eighty degree turn in midair and just started to float there while she waited for Discord to catch up.
She wouldn’t have to wait very long for Discord had put himself into overdrive as well. On his goat hoof and dragon claw he was wearing rocket skates, and he was using them to skate along the air at break neck speeds. Mare Do Well was attached to him by way of a yellow energy rope around his and her abdomens.
“Activate, actuate, and trigger transfer sequence omega five.” Opalevicious commanded when she saw that they were close enough.
“Transfer sequence omega five activated, three seconds untill transfer.” The electric female voice said emotionlessly.
“Three.”
Discord grew ever closer, oblivious as to what this unholy neko was planning.
“Two.”
Discord began to grow suspicious as to why that cat was just floating there, but he just mentally shrugged it off as something he could easily deal with so he continued on at the same speed.
Just as Discord reached Opalevicious the electronic voice sounded. “One. Power transfer sequence initiating.”
“Wait what?” Was all that Discord and Mare Do Well could get out before electricity emanated from the nodes and wrapped around and bound them. They both let out screams of intense anguish that would rival the volume of a hydra with a tooth ache.
As the electricity whipped around and painfully licked them the smell of burnt hair quickly filled the air and caused Opalevicious to gag.
Through the intense pain Discord felt his power be forced to the top of his head and after a few seconds it felt like his head had a railroad spike constantly being driven through it. He tried to move his paw and talon but when he did so the pain to his body increased one hundred fold. The combination of pains proved too much for even Discord and he promptly passed out. Mare Do Well passed out long before this point. The last thing he heard before his body released him from the pain was the mad cackling of the sadistic feline before him.
About a minute after he passed out his goat horn started to glow a bright yellow. This was accompanied with the electricity shutting off and the female voice. “Power transfer completed. Extra power was transferred as well.”
She smiled at that. “Well now I don’t have to worry about her annoying shield of hers anymore.”
She reached into the largest of the utility pockets located on her waist and pulled out a small electric saw. She used this to cut off Discord’s glowing horn with the utmost care not to damage it above the point where it was glowing. Upon getting it off she pressed a button on the left side of her jetpack and caused a compartment to open that is large enough to fit the horn in and she put the horn in it and closed it.
“Now that that is done, finished, and through I must contact Beast Master.”
She pressed a green button on her watch and a very soft female voice emanated from it with a worried tone. “Have you gotten the horn?”
“Yes Beast Master Ma’am.”
The voice let out a long drawn out sigh. “Thank you. D will be sending the portal to you now; don’t forget that she wants them in our dimension as well.”
“Both of them? You mean I can’t leave, abandon, or desert Mare Do Well?!”
“No you cannot.”
She wasn't pleased at this at all but she knew better than to question the Beast Master when it came to D. “Yes of course ma’am.”
She pressed the green button again and ended the transmission, as she did that a purple and white swirling vortex appeared next to her. She pressed the third and last button on the watch causing it to emit a black aura around Discord and Mare Do Well. Opal lifted and tossed them unceremoniously through the portal using the black aura from the watch, before she went through herself.
Chapter 2: Story Arc One: The Beast Master's Major Disaster Part One
Opalevicious emerged from the purple and white vortex to the top of a forty story flat topped building, which was the tallest building in the middle of the brightly lit nighttime landscape that was the medium sized modern city of Omniville.
There were no visible stars in the almost orange colored sky due to the haze of smog above the city and the light pollution. The city itself was your average city except that it appeared as though Tim Burton had a small hand in designing it. The buildings where colored dark gray to black. Each of the tallest buildings had no less than four terrifying gargoyles, though most had more. Each gargoyle was in the shape of a twisted bestial chimera that bore a strong resemblance to Discord.
“Good to see you are in one piece.” said a heavily electronically augmented emotionless female voice from behind Opalevicious.
Opalevicious turned around to see the two pegasi that were behind her. One was a female yellow coated pegasus with a long pink mane and tail that whipped back and forth with the turbulence at this height and she had a cutie mark of three hornets on her flank.
The other was wearing a dark purple jump suit similar to Opal’s but instead of utility belts it had one black metal hoof attachment on each hoof, they reached about half way up her legs. The two on her forelegs had a large blank screen on them. She wore a dark purple metal mask with electronic red eye coverings that constantly streamed information to her about anything she looked at. The only part of her not covered was her blond mane and tail that flowed in the wind.
At their hooves were the unconscious bodies of Mare Do Well and Discord. The unconscious draconequus was laid on top of Mare Do Well in a less than couth manner. When Opal saw this she grimaced, Fluttershy just blushed and turned her head. D just sighed in annoyance and knocked Discord off with her left forehoof.
“Anyway, give me the horn.” said D to Opal.
Opel opened the compartment in her jet-pack pulled out Discord’s horn and tossed it toward D; it was no longer glowing at this point. D caught it with a black aura, similar to the one Opel used, emitted from the device on her right forehoof.
Opel shrugged and said, “I don’t know why you wanted that. With all the order magic that permeates, pervades, and imbues our world that thing is useless, ineffectual, and unavailing.”
“Naïve feline, chaos empowers chaos, and chaos can arise out of the unlikeliest of places.”
“There you have the horn now keep your end of the deal.” said Fluttershy in an angry and scared tone.
“But of course I’ll keep my end of the deal, Angel is unharmed as promised.”
D pointed her right hoof toward the other side of the roof. It and the area she pointed at started to glow dark purple. A purple and white portal opened up and an orange female pegasus filly walked out of it. She had a short purple mane and tail and a cutie mark that was a red swirl over the image of a brain. Her eyes were red as if she had just been crying. She was carrying a cage in her mouth that had a white rabbit in it.
“Release the rabbit Scootaloo.” said D as she looked her over. “And don’t worry Strife and Dissension will reward both of our loyalties and bring back the ones we lost.”
“Strife and Dissension?!” Opal and Fluttershy asked shocked.
“It would appear that I have slipped up. I’m sorry Beast Master but I must now alter our deal, we have too much at risk to let you stop us. Scootaloo you know what to do.”
Opal and Fluttershy looked at Scootaloo expectantly. Scootaloo nodded at D and placed the cage down on the roof. Her eyes started to swirl with colors similar to when Discord hypnotized the main six. By the time Opal and Fluttershy realized what was happening it was too late, they were under her control.
“Beast Master has some powerful mind blocks toward animals being harmed, which might undo what I did.” Said Scootaloo with a grimace, despite it being her power she didn’t like to control ponies’ minds, even if it was to get her parents back.
“That won’t be a problem Scootaloo. Did you forget my ability?” D asked as she walked up toward Fluttershy.
“No.” responded Scootaloo as she looked down, she knew what was coming.
D placed her left hoof on the yellow pegasus’ forehead and her hoof started to glow white. The aura spread out to cover Fluttershy’s entire body, and after a few seconds sunk into her skin and disappeared.
“How are those inhibitions now?” D asked not expecting a reply for she knew they were gone. “Listen carefully Fluttershy I want you to take care of any personal vendettas that you have preferably in cruel ways.”
Fluttershy simply nodded and did a backward flip to jump off the building and fly off toward the Everfree Forest.
D knew exactly who those vendettas belong too Gilda, Rainbow Dash, and others from her humiliating time at flight school. Unlike the one in Equestria, Concordria’s Rainbow either didn’t know about the bulling or didn’t care. This was one of the circumstances in her life that drove her to be a villain in this world instead of a hero. Rainbow Dash and Gilda or more commonly known as Typhoon were considered two of the greatest heroes of this world.
D then turned to Opalevicious. “I want you to take these two to the nearest hospital unharmed.” She motioned toward Discord and Mare Do Well.
Opalevicious used her watch’s black aura to pick them up and she flew off to a hospital with them in tow.
D used the power granted to her by the sisters to open another white and purple portal. “Come along Scootaloo you have school tomorrow, your parents would never forgive me if you missed a day because of this business.”
Scootaloo lowered her head to the ground and walked through the portal, she still sulked about having to use her powers to hypnotize Fluttershy and Opalevicious.
D looked out at the city before she muttered to herself. “Don’t worry momma will see you again soon and nothing even Concord himself can stop me.” She walked through the portal and it closed behind her.
About ten minutes after they left a dark gray pony with white hair who wore a beige professors sweater with green at the elbows over a white dress shirt and black tie and large black rimmed glasses on his snout, walked out on to the roof from the door to the roof, as he often did to think to himself. His cutie mark was of a circle with two lines through it intersecting at a perpendicular angle.
"Hello what do we have here?" He asked himself as he looked upon the now shivering Angel Bunny in the cage.
"Who would leave a poor defenselessness creature on top of a building? No matter come along little fella we'll get you warmed up and find out who left you here." He grabbed the cage's handle in his mouth and made his way back inside the building.
