THE SCOTSMAN AND THE FASHIONISTA 2
by GeodesicDragon
ORIGINAL VERSION
While Equestrian citizens may not wear clothes all the time, they still have need of them for formal occasions. And when they do, they visit one of Equestria's many fashion outlets. And with so many of these places now accepting human clients, there are a wide variety of styles to choose from. If you want a good item of clothing, excellent customer service and a decent price, then look at the list of recommended places on pages fourteen to seventeen.
However, if you want to be judged and abused, then might I suggest paying a visit to the Carousel Boutique in Ponyville? Miss Rarity will be all too happy to oblige, especially if you have the gall to make a joke in her presence. I found her ego insufferable, her stereotypical views disgusting, and her attitude towards her fellow tailors amazing. I spent only twenty minutes inside her shop, but that was more than enough time for me to realise that she sees herself as the best tailor in Equestria, simply because a few ponies in Canterlot are wearing her designs.
She then made personal comments about my appearance and ordered me to leave her store — a command I was all to happy to obey. I was sent to the Carousel Boutique on the advice of two of Rarity's friends, who shall remain anonymous. How they can be friends with such an uptight, mare is beyond me.
So, in conclusion: avoid the Carousel Boutique at all costs, and spend your money at Perfect Stitches, which is a few doors down the street. I went there the next day and got excellent service and a good suit at an even better price.
As an added bonus (for me at least), Thread Spool — the mare who runs Perfect Stitches — had a very good sense of humour, and she seemed understanding of the fact that my own sense of humour can be a bit risqué at times. If you are reading this, Miss Rarity (and I'm pretty sure you are), then might I suggest that you take a few lessons from Thread Spool, and clean up your act?
It has to be said that out of all the Equestrian citizens I have met since the link between our worlds opened, Miss Rarity certainly lives up to her name. Because while everypony else was kind and accommodating, she was the exact opposite. A single hostile entity in a town filled with kindness. And if that's not a rarity, then I don't know what is.
***
Jock sat back in his chair and chuckled as he put the magazine down on his desk. The ceiling fan spun idly as the dull light streaming through the windows cast dim shadows on the walls. The human stood up, stretching himself with a contented sigh amid several popping noises.
"Aye, that's a damn fine article, even if I do say so masel'." he muttered, as he powered down his computer. "It's jist a pity that uptight mare wasnae as polite as I wis led tae believe."
A knock at the door caught Jock's attention. It opened slightly and a woman poked her head through.
"Mister Wallace?" she said. "You have a visitor."
Jock looked at her blankly.
"Are ye sure, Sandra?" he asked. "Cuz I'm jist aboot tae head hame fer the nicht. Tell them tae come back the morrow."
"She says its important," Sandra replied, "and that she has something she needs to give you."
Jock sighed.
"Aye, a'right." he groaned. "I'll gie her whit she wants. Go ahead and send her in, please."
Sandra nodded and removed her head from the door, speaking to someone Jock assumed was his mystery visitor.
"Here she is, Mister Wallace." Sandra said. "Do you need me for anything else?"
"Naw Sandra," Jock replied with a wave of his hand, "awa' ye go hame. Spend time wi' yer kids, an' I'll see ye in the mornin'."
"Very well, Mister Wallace." she replied with a smile. "I shall see you tomorrow. Have a nice evening."
Jock returned the smile and waited patiently for his visitor to appear as the sound of hoofsteps slowly became audible. Jock raised an eyebrow as he contemplated which one of Equestria's citizens would come all this way just to see him.
The answer came in the form of a white unicorn mare with a purple mane and tail, and three diamonds on her flank. Jock stifled a laugh as he realised who it was. The pony smiled wryly at him and trotted into the room, closing the door behind her.
"Miss Rarity." Jock said. "I hiv tae say that I wisnae expectin' tae see ye again so soon. I tak' it ye're here because ye've read mah wee article?"
Rarity nodded.
"That is indeed why I am here, Jock." she replied. "I just thought I would come by to congratulate you on what you wrote. I must say that it was..." She suddenly reared up and planted both forehooves on the desk with a resounding thump. Jock flinched at the sudden show of aggression as Rarity continued speaking, each word dripping with venom. "... the most despicable thing I have ever read in my entire life!"
"Oh aye?" Jock replied, refusing to be intimidated. "Well I think ye'll find that a'thing I wrote wis the truth. So there's nothing ye can dae aboot it, cuz I dinnae tell lees! Now get yer hooves aff mah desk and calm doon before I call security!"
Rarity snarled and did as she was asked, falling to her haunches. She continued to glare at Jock, who glared back. The silence in the air was palpable. Eventually, Jock sighed and leaned back in his chair, drumming his fingers idly on the desk.
"Let me get this straight." he said. "Ye've come a' this way jist tae tell me that ye didnae like mah article?"
"And demand that you print a retraction." Rarity hissed. "My business has been badly affected by your article. My takings are down, several of my clients have dismissed me as their designer, and my suppliers have cut me off. In short, you have ruined me."
"Oh no ye dinnae, lass." Jock snapped. "Dinnae you go blamin' me fur your bad attitude. It's no' mah fault ye couldnae take a joke and lost yer temper like that. An' as I said, I only wrote the truth... which basically means ye're no' gettin' yer redaction."
"B-but you've ruined me! Surely you weren't expecting everypony to take your review so seriously? If I can't recover my good name, I'll be broke and homeless by the end of the month! Please, you must have some sense of compassion in that heart of yours!"
Jock leaned forward and looked into Rarity's eyes.
"... not mah problem." he said gruffly. "Now, unless there wis somethin' else ye wanted, I'm awa' hame fur the night."
He stood up and walked over to the light switch, putting a hand on it. Rarity did not move from her position on the floor. Jock sighed and moved back, standing in front of the unicorn with his arms folded and his eyebrows raised.
"I've no' got time fur this." he said gruffly. "Are ye goin' or no'?"
It was then that he noticed that Rarity was crying. The tears ran down her cheeks and made a small silvery pool on the floor. Her shoulders heaved and she sniffled intensively.
Jock's expression softened and he knelt down in front of the distressed fashionista, laying a hand on her shoulder, which Rarity pushed away. She slowly raised her head until she was looking him in the face, her eyes puffy and red from the crying.
"At the end of this month," she said quietly, "I will be evicted from my home. Now while I am sure my friends would be more than happy to let me stay with them, I fear that our parents will want Sweetie Belle to move back to Manehatten with them. She will be torn away from her friends and neighbours and forced to start a new life in a city she barely knows."
Jock sat down on the floor, his back against his desk. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
"I tak' it that ye care fur this wee sister o' yours?" he asked, getting a nod from Rarity in return. "I ken how ye feel. I felt the same aboot mah wee brither. I wis always lookin' oot fer him, makin' sure he didnae get intae trouble."
"I'm sure you had your disagreements, though?" Rarity replied. "Celestia knows that Sweetie Belle and I have had our fair share of arguments. But she is my little sister, and I do care for her."
Jock nodded.
"Aye, mah brither and I always used tae fecht." he said. "That's whit siblings dae. They drive ye batty. But we always patched up oor differences in the end. And I still continued tae watch oot for him, no matter what happened."
"Where are you going with this?" Rarity said.
"Eh?... oh, aye. Well, lookin' efter mah brither like that made him a very successful man in later life. In fact, he's the wan who started this here magazine. But he had tae tak' early retirement due tae ill health, and he gied ownership o' the whole operation tae me."
"Really?" Rarity checked. "He gave you all of this? That was very noble of him."
"Aye." Jock said. "Ye see, I tried startin' mah ain company, sellin' computers. But it fell through and I ended up on the streets, wi' nothin' tae mah name. So mah brither says to me, 'Jock, since ye helped me oot, I'm gonnae dae the same fur you'. And that was that. He retired and I wis CEO. And I've taken good care o' his business, jist like he wouldae wanted me tae."
"Wanted?" Rarity said, her eyes widening. "You're speaking in the past tense, does that mean that—"
"— he died?" Jock finished. "Aye. Last year fae cancer. Not a day goes by where I dinnae think aboot him."
He put his hand on Rarity's shoulder again and looked her in the eye. She made no attempt to resist.
"If mah article means that your wee sister ends up bein' uprooted fae her friends an' family, then that is somethin' I cannae be held responsible for. So, since she clearly means so much tae ye, I'll write another article... one that'll set a'thing right."
Rarity's eyes widened further as a smile came to her lips. Without warning or thought, she reached up and wrapped her forehooves around Jock's waist in a tight hug.
"Thank you." she whispered. "My little sister means the world to me. It is good that you are willing to do this for a filly you've never even met."
Jock patted Rarity on the back.
"Faimily means as much tae me as much as it does tae you." he explained. "I've already lost the siblin' I cared aboot the most. I dinnae want tae see the same happenin' tae you."
Rarity pulled back from Jock. Rearing onto her hind legs, she planted a small kiss firmly on his cheek, causing him to blush.
"Thank you, Jock." she said. "You really are a good man at heart."
"Dinnae you worry, Miss Rarity." Jock replied. "In the next issue of Fashion Scotland, ye'll get whit ye truly deserve."
Rarity smiled and got on all fours.
"I'm looking forward to it already." she said, as she trotted to the door and opened it with her magic. "Goodnight, Jock."
"Goodnight Miss Rarity," he replied with a wink, "say hello tae yer wee sister fur me."
Rarity nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. Her departing hoofsteps echoed around the empty corridor before fading into nothingness.
Jock sighed and got to his feet. As he opened the door, he looked back towards his computer on the desk.
"Aye." he muttered. "I'll gie her whit she deserves, a'right."
He turned off the light and closed the door, his own footsteps soon fading once again into a calm silence.
***
A redaction is not something that Fashion Scotland does lightly. As our readers are no doubt aware, all of our articles are written with honesty and passion, such as the recent one about the Carousel Boutique in Ponyville.
Miss Rarity came to my office the day after that article was published and asked me, rather curtly at first, to print an article taking back all that I had originally wrote.
We got talking, and Rarity told me about her little sister Sweetie Belle — who apparently faces being uprooted from their home in Ponyville and forced to start a new life in Manehatten, a town she 'barely knows', according to her sister.
While we were on the subject of family, I decided to tell Rarity about how I came to be the editor of this magazine after inheriting control of it from my brother Tam, who sadly passed away earlier this year from cancer. I then told her that I had, and would continue to, run things just how he would have were he still here.
Which includes not caving in to acts of emotional blackmail.
It is not the fault of this magazine that Rarity and her sister are facing eviction from the Boutique. If Rarity hadn't have acted towards me in the way she did, I would never have written that article, which in turn means that she wouldn't be in the dire situation she faces now.
No redaction will be printed, and that is final. This magazine will not be held responsible for the actions of others. It is Rarity's own stupid fault that she acted the way she did, and Fashion Scotland will not give in to her demands.
***
Rarity tore the magazine in half and threw it against the wall as Sweetie Belle watched nervously. Her left eye ticked and her mane and tail were dishevelled. Clenching her forehooves together, Rarity took a deep breath and looked towards the ceiling. She then bellowed as loudly as she could.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"
THE SCOTSMAN AND THE FASHIONISTA 2
by GeodesicDragon
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
While Equestrian citizens may not wear clothes all the time, they still have need of them for formal occasions. And when they do, they visit one of Equestria's many fashion outlets. And with so many of these places now accepting human clients, there are a wide variety of styles to choose from. If you want a good item of clothing, excellent customer service and a decent price, then look at the list of recommended places on pages fourteen to seventeen.
However, if you want to be judged and abused, then might I suggest paying a visit to the Carousel Boutique in Ponyville? Miss Rarity will be all too happy to oblige, especially if you have the gall to make a joke in her presence. I found her ego insufferable, her stereotypical views disgusting, and her attitude towards her fellow tailors amazing. I spent only twenty minutes inside her shop, but that was more than enough time for me to realise that she sees herself as the best tailor in Equestria, simply because a few ponies in Canterlot are wearing her designs.
She then made personal comments about my appearance and ordered me to leave her store — a command I was all to happy to obey. I was sent to the Carousel Boutique on the advice of two of Rarity's friends, who shall remain anonymous. How they can be friends with such an uptight, mare is beyond me.
So, in conclusion: avoid the Carousel Boutique at all costs, and spend your money at Perfect Stitches, which is a few doors down the street. I went there the next day and got excellent service and a good suit at an even better price.
As an added bonus (for me at least), Thread Spool — the mare who runs Perfect Stitches — had a very good sense of humour, and she seemed understanding of the fact that my own sense of humour can be a bit risqué at times. If you are reading this, Miss Rarity (and I'm pretty sure you are), then might I suggest that you take a few lessons from Thread Spool, and clean up your act?
It has to be said that out of all the Equestrian citizens I have met since the link between our worlds opened, Miss Rarity certainly lives up to her name. Because while everypony else was kind and accommodating, she was the exact opposite. A single hostile entity in a town filled with kindness. And if that's not a rarity, then I don't know what is.
***
Jock sat back in his chair and chuckled as he put the magazine down on his desk. The ceiling fan spun idly as the dull light streaming through the windows cast dim shadows on the walls. The human stood up, stretching himself with a contented sigh amid several popping noises.
"Yes, that's a damn fine article, even if I do say so myself." he muttered, as he powered down his computer. "It's just a pity that uptight mare wasn't as polite as I was led to believe."
A knock at the door caught Jock's attention. It opened slightly and a woman poked her head through.
"Mister Wallace?" she said. "You have a visitor."
Jock looked at her blankly.
"Are you sure, Sandra?" he asked. "Because I'm just about to head home for the night. Tell them to come back tomorrow."
"She says its important," Sandra replied, "and that she has something she needs to give you."
Jock sighed.
"Yes, all right." he groaned. "I'll give her what she wants. Go ahead and send her in, please."
Sandra nodded and removed her head from the door, speaking to someone Jock assumed was his mystery visitor.
"Here she is, Mister Wallace." Sandra said. "Do you need me for anything else?"
"No Sandra," Jock replied with a wave of his hand, "you can go home. Spend time with your kids, and I'll see you in the morning."
"Very well, Mister Wallace." she replied with a smile. "I shall see you tomorrow. Have a nice evening."
Jock returned the smile and waited patiently for his visitor to appear as the sound of hoofsteps slowly became audible. Jock raised an eyebrow as he contemplated which one of Equestria's citizens would come all this way just to see him.
The answer came in the form of a white unicorn mare with a purple mane and tail, and three diamonds on her flank. Jock stifled a laugh as he realised who it was. The pony smiled wryly at him and trotted into the room, closing the door behind her.
"Miss Rarity." Jock said. "I have to say that I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon. I take it you're here because you've read my little article?"
Rarity nodded.
"That is indeed why I am here, Jock." she replied. "I just thought I would come by to congratulate you on what you wrote. I must say that it was..." She suddenly reared up and planted both forehooves on the desk with a resounding thump. Jock flinched at the sudden show of aggression as Rarity continued speaking, each word dripping with venom. "... the most despicable thing I have ever read in my entire life!"
"Oh really?" Jock replied, refusing to be intimidated. "Well I think you'll find that everything I wrote was the truth. So there's nothing you can do about it, because I don't tell lies! Now get your hooves off my desk and calm down before I call security!"
Rarity snarled and did as she was asked, falling to her haunches. She continued to glare at Jock, who glared back. The silence in the air was palpable. Eventually, Jock sighed and leaned back in his chair, drumming his fingers idly on the desk.
"Let me get this straight." he said. "You've come all this way just to tell me that you didn't like my article?"
"And demand that you print a retraction." Rarity hissed. "My business has been badly affected by your article. My takings are down, several of my clients have dismissed me as their designer, and my suppliers have cut me off. In short, you have ruined me."
"Oh no you don't, girl." Jock snapped. "Don't you go blaming me for your bad attitude. It's not my fault you couldn't take a joke and lost your temper like that. And as I said, I only wrote the truth... which basically means you're not getting your redaction."
"B-but you've ruined me! Surely you weren't expecting everypony to take your review so seriously? If I can't recover my good name, I'll be broke and homeless by the end of the month! Please, you must have some sense of compassion in that heart of yours!"
Jock leaned forward and looked into Rarity's eyes.
"... not my problem." he said gruffly. "Now, unless there was something else you wanted, I'm away home for the night."
He stood up and walked over to the light switch, putting a hand on it. Rarity did not move from her position on the floor. Jock sighed and moved back, standing in front of the unicorn with his arms folded and his eyebrows raised.
"I've not got time for this." he said gruffly. "Are you going or not?"
It was then that he noticed that Rarity was crying. The tears ran down her cheeks and made a small silvery pool on the floor. Her shoulders heaved and she sniffled intensively.
Jock's expression softened and he knelt down in front of the distressed fashionista, laying a hand on her shoulder, which Rarity pushed away. She slowly raised her head until she was looking him in the face, her eyes puffy and red from the crying.
"At the end of this month," she said quietly, "I will be evicted from my home. Now while I am sure my friends would be more than happy to let me stay with them, I fear that our parents will want Sweetie Belle to move back to Manehatten with them. She will be torn away from her friends and neighbours and forced to start a new life in a city she barely knows."
Jock sat down on the floor, his back against his desk. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
"I take it that you care for this little sister of yours?" he asked, getting a nod from Rarity in return. "I know how you feel. I felt the same about my little brother. I was always looking out for him, making sure he didn't get into trouble."
"I'm sure you had your disagreements, though?" Rarity replied. "Celestia knows that Sweetie Belle and I have had our fair share of arguments. But she is my little sister, and I do care for her."
Jock nodded.
"Aye, mah brother and I always used to fight." he said. "That's what siblings do. They drive you mad. But we always patched up our differences in the end. And I still continued to watch out for him, no matter what happened."
"Where are you going with this?" Rarity said.
"Huh?... oh, yes. Well, looking after my brother like that made him a very successful man in later life. In fact, he's the one who started this very magazine. But he had to take early retirement due to ill health, and he gave ownership of the whole operation to me."
"Really?" Rarity checked. "He gave you all of this? That was very noble of him."
"Indeed." Jock said. "You see, I tried starting my own company, selling computers. But it fell through and I ended up on the streets, with nothing to my name. So my brother says to me, 'Jock, since you helped me out, I'm going to do the same for you'. And that was that. He retired and I was CEO. And I've taken good care of his business, just like he would have wanted me to."
"Wanted?" Rarity said, her eyes widening. "You're speaking in the past tense, does that mean that—"
"— he died?" Jock finished. "Yes. Last year from cancer. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him."
He put his hand on Rarity's shoulder again and looked her in the eye. She made no attempt to resist.
"If my article means that your little sister ends up being uprooted from her friends and family, then that is something I can't be held responsible for. So, since she clearly means so much to you, I'll write another article... one that'll set everything right."
Rarity's eyes widened further as a smile came to her lips. Without warning or thought, she reached up and wrapped her forehooves around Jock's waist in a tight hug.
"Thank you." she whispered. "My little sister means the world to me. It is good that you are willing to do this for a filly you've never even met."
Jock patted Rarity on the back.
"Family means as much to me as much as it does to you." he explained. "I've already lost the sibling I cared about the most. I don't want to see the same happening to you."
Rarity pulled back from Jock. Rearing onto her hind legs, she planted a small kiss firmly on his cheek, causing him to blush.
"Thank you, Jock." she said. "You really are a good man at heart."
"Don't you worry, Miss Rarity." Jock replied. "In the next issue of Fashion Scotland, you'll get what you truly deserve."
Rarity smiled and got on all fours.
"I'm looking forward to it already." she said, as she trotted to the door and opened it with her magic. "Goodnight, Jock."
"Goodnight Miss Rarity," he replied with a wink, "say hello to your little sister for me."
Rarity nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. Her departing hoofsteps echoed around the empty corridor before fading into nothingness.
Jock sighed and got to his feet. As he opened the door, he looked back towards his computer on the desk.
"Yeah." he muttered. "I'll give her what she deserves, all right."
He turned off the light and closed the door, his own footsteps soon fading once again into a calm silence.
***
A redaction is not something that Fashion Scotland does lightly. As our readers are no doubt aware, all of our articles are written with honesty and passion, such as the recent one about the Carousel Boutique in Ponyville.
Miss Rarity came to my office the day after that article was published and asked me, rather curtly at first, to print an article taking back all that I had originally wrote.
We got talking, and Rarity told me about her little sister Sweetie Belle — who apparently faces being uprooted from their home in Ponyville and forced to start a new life in Manehatten, a town she 'barely knows', according to her sister.
While we were on the subject of family, I decided to tell Rarity about how I came to be the editor of this magazine after inheriting control of it from my brother Tam, who sadly passed away earlier this year from cancer. I then told her that I had, and would continue to, run things just how he would have were he still here.
Which includes not caving in to acts of emotional blackmail.
It is not the fault of this magazine that Rarity and her sister are facing eviction from the Boutique. If Rarity hadn't have acted towards me in the way she did, I would never have written that article, which in turn means that she wouldn't be in the dire situation she faces now.
No redaction will be printed, and that is final. This magazine will not be held responsible for the actions of others. It is Rarity's own stupid fault that she acted the way she did, and Fashion Scotland will not give in to her demands.
***
Rarity tore the magazine in half and threw it against the wall as Sweetie Belle watched nervously. Her left eye ticked and her mane and tail were dishevelled. Clenching her forehooves together, Rarity took a deep breath and looked towards the ceiling. She then bellowed as loudly as she could.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"
