Epi-Curious: A Tale of Love, Hate, and Culinary Adventure

by taconinja

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Romance, Adventure
Length: 12675

The two worst cooks in Ponyville team up to master the culinary arts... assuming everyone survives their efforts!

When Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle decide they aren't contributing enough to the weekly picnic their friends have, they take matters into their own hooves for better or worse.

Watch as two hapless cooks brave the dark frontier known only as The Kitchen!

Wonder at their ability to craft semi-edible dishes!

Be amazed as this somehow sprawls into a grand adventure spanning Equestria... and beyond!

Published 2012-12-30 14:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-31 19:46:55 UTC

Amuse Bouche

Twilight Sparkle sighed content and full after another successful picnic with her friends. Celestia’s sun was warm, the sky was clear and blue, and everything had been perfect: the conversation, the laughter, the food--especially the food. Fluttershy had led off with an exquisite fresh salad highlighted by a sharp vinaigrette dressing followed by Spike and Rarity teaming up for some exotic dishes. Spike had baked a spicy pasta dish inspired by a draconic recipe he had seen while perusing a shipment of cookbooks Twilight was processing into the library. He had switched out the gemstone crust, to the eternal thanks of Twilight’s teeth, for a crispy oat crust. Rarity collaborated with the young dragon, pairing Spike’s dish with a tagine featuring roasted tomatoes and carrots Rarity had once encountered during her travels in Gryphon country. Finishing off the meal were Applejack’s flaky, buttery apple fritters and Pinkie Pie’s sinfully rich chocolate croissants. The overall effect of the meal and the warm summer’s day was drowsy bliss for Twilight.

Of course, Twilight mused, not everyone seemed to have the same feeling of satisfaction. Rainbow Dash was still rummaging through the baskets while everyone else lounged.

“Rainbow,” Twilight spoke up interrupting the pegasus’ search. “What are you looking for?” She smiled gently through half-lidded eyes. Naps were underrated, she thought. The only one of their party used to taking regular naps was ironically the one who seemed least interested in doing so at the moment.

Rainbow Dash lifted her head from an empty basket and sighed blowing the bangs of her multicolored mane out of her eyes. “I’m still hungry. I mean the food was great and all, but I’m an athlete. I gotta eat to keep up my energy!”

Applejack chuckled. “Izzat why you’re always nappin’ in my apple trees?”

“Yup!” Rainbow answered. “See, Twilight? Somepony at least understands that I’ve gotta eat enough or I won’t be able to keep up with my training. How do you think I get get as awesome as I am?

It was Twilight’s turn to chuckle along with the rest of the girls and Spike. “Sure, Rainbow.” She didn’t want to argue. The day was too perfect. She closed her eyes drifting on the edge of sleep.

Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash took that as a dismissal and she bristled. “I would think an egghead like you would know with all the books and stuff. Calories? Metabolism?”

Twilight had always brushed off the “egghead” comment as Rainbow Dash being Rainbow Dash, but it did grate a bit, and she felt more than a bit annoyed that Rainbow was marring an otherwise perfect afternoon in such a petty fashion. Sleepiness receded as annoyance rose. She opened her eyes and leveled a flat stare at the blue pegasus.

“Well,” Twilight began. “You could always cook a dish to contribute to the picnic yourself if you’re so concerned about the amount of food.”

That comment brought a loud snort from Fluttershy of all ponies who immediately looked as if she would bolt in terror. “I-I’m sorry. I just mean...” and she dropped to an inaudible whisper.

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “What’s that, Shy? I always like comments from the peanut gallery.”

Rarity reached out a hoof to rub Fluttershy’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Dear,” she said. “I’m sure Rainbow Dash is simply a bit cranky from hunger.”

Now it was Rarity’s turn to receive Rainbow’s glare and one-word response. “Cranky.”

“Yeah,” Applejack agreed. “I remember when Apple Bloom was a tiny filly. She was a terror if her bottle was just a few minutes late.”

Now Rainbow Dash was moving past cranky on the emotional spectrum into actual anger. “Do you guys think I’m a toddler or something?” Twilight could sense this might turn ugly soon if someone didn’t defuse the situation.

Before she could think of a diplomatic way to accomplish this, Pinkie spoke up. “No one thinks you’re a silly filly, Dashie!”

“Fluttershy does,” Rainbow responded.

“No, I don’t!” Fluttershy exclaimed quietly, which would have seemed odd from any other pony, but Twilight was long familiar with the barely perceptible levels of audio difference in which the yellow pegasus operated. For her, this was almost shouting. “I just... have you ever cooked anything?”

This stumped Rainbow Dash. “Well, I once cooked a can of corn. Once. A few years ago.”

Applejack smiled. “Sugarcube, heating up canned corn ain’t cooking. It’s already cooked.”

“Um,” Rainbow Dash paused. “It is?”
Everypony nodded.

“Oh.” Rainbow Dash’s eyes were downcast.

Pinkie popped up beside her and put a leg over Rainbow’s shoulder. “Don’t be a Grumpy Dashie! Seeing you enjoy my food is all I need!” She ruffled Rainbow’s mane and then fell on the ground giggling.

Rainbow made a perfunctory effort to put her mane back into order, but quickly gave up. Rarity frowned and Twilight could see another doomed makeover attempt on the horizon.

“Well,” Rainbow began. “Maybe I will cook something then for the next picnic then!”

“Ha!” slipped out before Twilight could stop herself. The other ponies and Spike were maintaining carefully neutral expressions.

Rainbow Dash turned; her eyes narrowing. “Ha?”

Fortunately, Twilight Sparkle was one of the smartest and quick-thinking ponies in Equestria. “No, I didn’t say ‘Ha!’ I said ‘Ah ha!’”

Everypony--Rainbow Dash included--blinked at her in confusion.

“Whu?” queried Rainbow.

“I think your idea is brilliant! And awesome! Awesomely brilliant in fact!” Twilight laid it on thick, biding time until she could figure out why it was a brilliant idea.

Rainbow Dash however took the praise in stride. “Of course it’s awesome! Because I’m awesome and my ideas are naturally awesome!”

The other ponies seemed dubious but that mattered little really to Twilight as long as no one asked...

“Why do you reckon it’s awesome, Twilight?” Applejack asked.

“Of course Applejack would ask,” thought Twilight. Aloud, she stated, “Because... uh... well... this is a bit embarrassing...” She was drawing a complete blank.

“Wait a minute!” exclaimed Spike. “You aren’t thinking of cooking for the picnic as well are you?”

Twilight reminded herself to hug her Number One Assistant later for once again giving her an out. “Yes! Precisely! It’ll be even more special if we all contribute! I can even write a friendship report out of it!” It would also give her an opportunity to initiate a side project she had been pondering for the past week or two.

This was when she noticed that Spike was now rolling on the ground laughing.

“And what is so funny, Mister?” she asked the baby dragon. By this point, Pinkie Pie had joined Spike on the ground rolling and giggling. Twilight ground her teeth. “Well?”

Spike rubbed tears from his eyes although he didn’t have the courtesy to stand up to address her. “Twilight, you managed to burn a daisy salad the last time you tried to make something for yourself.”

This was true despite not actually needing or using a stove. She still wasn’t sure how she had managed that. Also, it was beside the point. She would simply find a recipe and follow it to the letter. Simple. Twilight steadfastly refused to recall that every cooking attempt she had ever made had involved simply following a recipe to the letter.

Spike sat up and continued. “Don’t worry, Twilight. I’ll help you out with the cooking.”

“Hey!” Rainbow called out. “Nopony is helping me! Why does Twilight get help?”

Twilight would have preferred the assistance, but she also had to keep her secondary objective in mind, which demanded Spike not help her. “I agree,” she stated simply. Twilight had worried for a while now that Spike wasn’t getting enough socialization with ponies his own age. “I should do this on my own.”

Spike looked doubtful but Twilight pressed on. “Rarity?”

At that Spike perked up visibly. “You mean I get to visit Rarity while you cook?” Twilight was certain he was visibly vibrating in anticipation.

“Well I would always love a visit from my Spikey-Wikey,” Rarity offered generously.

“Actually,” Twilight interrupted. “I was hoping that I could arrange a playdate for Spike with Sweetie Bell? And perhaps Apple Bloom, AJ?” She thought that Spike’s crush on Rarity was cute, but it decidedly didn’t solve the issue.

Rarity and Applejack both smiled. “Of course, Darling!” Rarity declared. “It will be a wonderful thing for them to play together!”

Spike was unconvinced however. “Hey! I don’t need a playdate or whatever! That’s for babies.”

Twilight stated the obvious. “You are a baby dragon, Spike.”

He opened his mouth to reply but couldn’t seem to find a path to assault the logic.

Twilight smiled and nodded. “Well that’s settled then.”

A quiet “Um” came from Fluttershy.

“Yes, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked.

“Well,” the yellow pegasus began but stopped.

“Go on, Dear,” Rarity gently prodded with a smile. “Is there a problem with Spike having a playdate with the fillies?”

“Oh no!” Fluttershy shook her head vigorously. “That will be adorable! It’s just...” she trailed off again.

The ponies waited patiently. With Fluttershy, there wasn’t any other way.

She gulped and finished her sentence. “Rainbow Dash, you don’t have a kitchen to cook in.”

Even Pinkie thought this was incredulous. “You don't even have an oven to reheat your leftovers, Dashie?”

Rainbow Dash intervened. “No, Shy means I don’t have a kitchen at all.”

“Where in tarnation do you store your food then, Rainbow?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie didn’t wait on Rainbow to respond. She looked as if she had been told that parties had been canceled indefinitely. “Yeah! Where do you keep the cakes?”

“I don’t, Pinkie,” Rainbow replied.

“Your muffins?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head.

“Your assorted pastries?”

Another head shake.

“Your candy?”

Another head shake.

“Croissants?”

Rainbow Dash just stared at her.

“Popovers?”

No response.

“Cherries Jubilee?”

No response.

“Honeyed oats?”

No response.

Pinkie lay down on her side. “I feel dizzy.”

“I don’t keep any food at the house, Pinkie. I’m hardly ever there anyway and I don’t really eat candy or cakes unless I’m with you guys. Rest of the time, I eat out, so no kitchen necessary.”

Pinkie lay there staring into the distance in shock. Twilight thought she had seen this described in a book once as "The Thousand League Stare" usually occurring after pronounced, prolonged trauma.

“Anyway,” Rainbow continued. “Will somepony let me use their kitchen?”

Another “Um” issued from Fluttershy causing Rainbow Dash to sigh again in frustration. “What is it now, Shy?” she asked.

“I mean--just--do you remember Flight Camp?”

Rainbow gave her a flat stare. “What happens at Flight Camp stays at Flight Camp.”

Fluttershy nodded and seemed to try to will herself to sink into the ground.

“Now just wait a second,” Applejack interjected. “If you want to use one of our kitchens, I think we got cause to ask what happened at Flight Camp.”

Rarity nodded in agreement as did Twilight. Fluttershy looked ready to bolt. Pinkie just continued to lay on her side staring into the distance and muttering “No candy” over and over.

Spike walked over to Pinkie Pie and stroked her mane. “Rainbow, I think you broke Pinkie Pie.”

Rainbow ignored Spike and seemed resigned. “Well at Flight Camp, everypony does a week in the galleys.”

“Oh,” Rarity perked up. “Why didn’t you just say so, Darling? You do have some experience in a kitchen.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow stated before a small squeak from Fluttershy stopped her. “Alright, Shy. I have a couple of days of experience.”

Twilight asked, “Why not the full week?”

“I sort of burned down the kitchen.” Another squeak from Fluttershy. “Twice,” Rainbow said through gritted teeth.

The other ponies suddenly didn’t seem eager to loan out kitchen time to Rainbow Dash. Spike broke the silence. “Well,” he stated. “The library kitchen is enchanted against kitchen fires because the library is a tree and--” he stopped and looked to Twilight.

She took over. “And because I set the library on fire trying to prepare some honeyed oats.”

Applejack cocked her head. “Uh, sugarcube, you don’t cook those.”

It was Twilight’s turn to respond through gritted teeth. “I’m aware of that, Applejack.”

“Then how?” Applejack began to ask.

“I... am still trying to determine how I did that, Applejack.” Twilight wondered if her teeth would be ground to nubs before the picnic finished.

“So Twilight would you mind sharing the library kitchen then?” Rainbow asked.

“Sure,” Twilight responded just wanting to end the humiliation. “One condition, Rainbow. Will you stop with ‘egghead’ stuff? I don't really like it very much.”

Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight Sparkle very seriously. “I’m sorry,” she stated sincerely. “That was totally uncool of me.” She then came up and hugged Twilight and whispered to her, “I mean it. I’m really sorry.”

Twilight squeezed Rainbow and then broke the hug smiling. “It’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then for cooking practice?”

“Twilight? Rainbow?” Applejack interrupted again as she loaded the near catatonic Pinkie onto her back. “How about y’all use the practice time to get dishes ready for the Summer Picnic Party before we end summer and roll in autumn?” She looked at Pinkie a bit worriedly as the mention of a party did nothing to break her spell.

That was a great idea in Twilight’s opinion, but Rainbow bristled at the idea she would take that long to master cooking.

“If we’re going to have to do this for a whole month,” Rainbow stated in a tone brooking no argument. “Then we’ll cook the whole meal for the six of us plus Spike and the Crusaders.”

“The whole meal?” Twilight asked in shock.

“Sure!” Rainbow replied with a grin. “You’re the smartest pony anywhere and I’m Rainbow Dash!”

Twilight wasn’t sure how that last part was a qualification but decided not to press the issue feeling she might dig an even deeper hole for herself. The party broke up with smiles and waves. As Twilight and Spike walked home, she spent the time assuring him that the kitchen and library would stay intact and patiently listening to his grumbles about having playdates.

Half-Baked

“I am Twilight Sparkle—bearer of the Element of Magic, personal student of Princess Celestia, and co-savior of Equestria several times over. I will not be defeated by dinner rolls!”

Rainbow Dash sighed watching the ever-increasingly frazzled unicorn try to will her dinner rolls into a more edible state by staring at them and shouting. She was fairly certain that the rolls remained at the relative hardness of stone and not of bread. If she didn’t handle this carefully, Twilight might end up resorting to the Want-It-Need-It spell just to get people to eat them—if chewing those things was even possible. Why did she always end up being the pony to pull her friends back from the edge of madness? At least it always felt that way.

Twilight’s eye was beginning to get that tell-tale twitch, prompting Rainbow into action. She had never been much for thinking about what to do. She would rather just do. So she did.

“Twilight?”

No response.

“Twilight, I think the rolls are a lost cause.”

Twilight turned her head to face Rainbow. She seemed on the border between rage and tears.

“I...” she began. “This... Why didn’t it work? Why? I did everything precisely as instructed! By the recipe! The official recipe! I used the exact proportions of ingredients! The oven is the correct temperature! We timed it to the second! We even used the picture on the recipe to prove our rolls look the same! Why do you even need to prove that anyway?!?! What purpose does that serve?”

Rainbow shrugged. Better this than tears. She had no idea how to handle tears. She made a noncommittal grunt and said, “Dunno. Chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.”

“But it’s the Official Recipe! To be accurate, it’s The Can’t Fail Dinner Roll Recipe! How can it fail?”

Maybe, Rainbow thought to herself, she should just let Twilight burn herself out.

The lavender unicorn continued to vent. “What good is a ‘Can’t Fail’ recipe if it fails?!?! It’s published! It’s supposed to have been tested!”

Rainbow heard a “hic” sound emanate from deep within Twilight’s throat interrupting the unicorn’s tirade. Oh no, not that. Years of experience told Rainbow Dash that “hic” sound meant tears were on the way. Rainbow felt a creeping paralysis begin at her hooves and quickly work its way through her whole body.

“Maybe it’s me!” Hic. “Maybe I’m just a great big failure!” Hic. “What’s wrong with me?” Hic. “Why can’t I get something as simple as dinner rolls correct?” Hic. Hic. Hic. Hic.

And there came the tears. Twilight crumpled to the floor. Rainbow decided to give some sort of comforting gesture a shot. She approached her friend and patted her on the shoulder. “There, there,” she said between pats. “Um.” Yeah, that was about all she had. “C’mon, Twilight. Stop crying.”

Her words had the opposite effect as the tears flowed even faster, and now she couldn’t even understand what Twilight was trying to say between the hiccups and the crying. Jeez, they were just dinner rolls.

“How about we take a break and relax a few minutes?” She tried to guide Twilight to the main room of the library and the sofa. Rainbow ended up half-carrying and half-dragging the unicorn. Finally getting them to a seated position, Twilight collapsed on her and cranked up the water works even more. Rainbow wasn’t sure how anypony could cry that much. Surely a body couldn’t hold that much water. She wanted to comfort the pony, but this was mystifying. Twilight hugged her tighter and continued to cry. Rainbow settled on holding her friend and making soothing noises hoping that was the right thing to do.

After a few minutes, the tears lessened and Twilight’s sobs eased up, too. She looked at Rainbow and smiled. “Thanks, Rainbow. You’re a great friend.”

Rainbow smiled back. “I didn’t do anything,” she said honestly.

Twilight sat up and rubbed at her eyes wiping away tears. “You let me get that out of my system. Thank you, Rainbow.”

The pegasus usually lapped up praise like this eagerly, but this was a bit too mushy for her. “No prob.” She hesitated, but worry overrode her fear of getting all touchy-feely. “Uh, Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t mean this as any kind of insult or something, but usually you’re made of like sterner stuff.” That was a term she had seen in a Daring Do book. She was pleased with herself at finding a use for it, although she wished it hadn’t been because she was worried about her friend.

Twilight frowned while she worked out her response. At least she wasn’t crying. That was progress.

“Well to be honest, Rainbow, this is something I’ve been dabbling in for quite a few years. It... never works. At all.”

“Years?” This surprised Rainbow as she hadn’t ever thought of Twilight as somepony who cared for something so domestic.

“It started out as an assignment from Princess Celestia.”

Of course it had. Rainbow should have known.

“When I was a filly... I had been Celestia’s student for two years... a little colt gave me a cupcake for Hearts and Hooves day. He was the son of a palace guard. I didn’t really have friends then and I wasn’t sure how to react, so I asked the princess. She suggested I make him something in return. Looking back, I don’t think she necessarily meant I needed to bake him anything, but that’s how I interpreted it then. Needless to say, the dinner rolls are a greatly improved attempt over the cake."

Yikes. If that was an improvement, Rainbow thought, she was amazed somepony hadn’t been poisoned.

“I’m glad that the princess decided to check on my progress before I could give him the cake. I think he would have been lucky to have only ended up in the hospital.”

“Wow... really?” was Rainbow’s only response. She’d thought she’d been exaggerating to herself with the whole poisoning thing.

“Yes. Turns out that just because laundry detergent smells really nice, it doesn’t mean it’s a good ingredient for a cake.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence took over. Rainbow wasn’t sure if she disliked the tears or the silence more. She said the first thing to pop into her mind. “So what happened with the colt?”

Evidently that had been the wrong thing to say because Twilight visibly blanched.

Rainbow tried to recover. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked. He must have turned out to be a jerk or something.” She felt an intense flash of anger which perhaps she would have questioned if she weren’t so concerned about Twilight. “Figures. You try to be nice and he throws it in your face!” She could feel herself getting worked up quickly. “It wasn’t like you were trying to kill him or something! You just wanted to be nice! Grah! I can’t stand ponies like that!”

Twilight seemed a bit shocked. “Uh... Rainbow?”

“What?!?!” she practically shouted in return. Okay, she thought, maybe more of an actual shout.

“Are you okay?”

“I think I’m just hungry.” She got up and walked towards the kitchen. Spike had made a great lunch for them before leaving insisting that they would have better results not cooking while hungry, but lately her appetite had been weird. “Got any carrots or apples or anything?”

“Sure,” Twilight answered. “I just... I don’t know how to say this...” Twilight drifted off into a very Fluttershy-like silence.

Rainbow turned around and stopped. “What is it?” she asked a bit concerned.

“I don’t think it’s fair for me to let you think it was the colt’s fault.”

“Oh? That? Don’t worry. I’m just a bit cranky.”

“Still, it doesn’t feel right. It wasn’t his fault. It was mine, or to be accurate, I don’t think it was anypony’s fault. We weren’t exactly compatible.”

“Okay.” Rainbow sensed Twilight might want to say more, but she was confused. “I mean you were a little filly. Nopony knows who they’re compatible with then.”

Twilight closed her eyes. “Yeah.”

“What is it, Twilight?”

Twilight just stood there with her eyes closed.

“Twilight? What’s wrong.”

“Itdidn’tworkbecauseweweren’tcompatiblebecauseIdon’tlikecolts,” the unicorn blurted out.

“Wait what?”

“I don’t like colts. That way. I mean... I...” she stopped speaking and stood there trembling.

Oh. Oh. “Well. Okay. Should I have picked up on that sooner?” Rainbow almost facehooved herself. That was a stupid response.

Twilight giggled and looked embarrassed. “I don’t think so. I sort of avoid any and all romantic discussions.”

Rainbow considered. Come to think of it that was right. Twilight was always quiet when the idea of romance or sex came up. “Well,” she said. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s not that uncommon.”

“Really?” Twilight didn’t seem convinced.

“Yeah. I mean it’s not like I’ve never looked at a nice piece of filly-flank and thought about—”

Twilight shouted, “Rainbow!” She looked completely scandalized.

“Heh. Sorry. I’m used to being around a bunch of weather jockeys. It’s different in a locker room you know?"

Twilight nodded. She was blushing, which Rainbow found adorable.

The pegasus decided to push her luck. “But I’m picky about mares. I like ’em, but I’m usually more into stallions to be honest. There’s just something about a big, strong stallion taking you into his hooves, shoving you against a wall, and—”

“RAINBOW DASH!!!” Twilight shouted, turning a brilliant shade of scarlet.

Rainbow burst out laughing. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist!” She shook her head and turned back toward the kitchen.

Twilight joined her and after a few moments of rummaging around in the pantry, Rainbow was happily munching on some carrots.

Twilight had a puzzled look on her face. “Rainbow?”

“Yeah?” she said between bites.

“Thanks.”

“For what?” Rainbow asked puzzled.

“For not making a big deal about it. I mean I’ve never even told my parents or Shiny.”

“Huh. Have you ever told anypony?”

Twilight nodded. “The princess.”

“She was cool with it, right?”

“She was,” Twilight responded with a smile.

“What’d she say? If you don’t mind me asking. If you do, consider it unasked.”

“She told me that she loved me and that all ponies love in their own special way. She said what matters is finding your special somepony and being happy.”

The cyan pegasus nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“I liked that she was so happy for me to have figured out my feelings and to confide in her, but I think I prefer how you just took in in stride." After a short pause, Twilight scrunched her nose in thought and asked, "So... have you ever had a special somepony?”

Rainbow had finished her carrot and moved on to eating an apple. “A couple I thought might be. Turned out not so much, though. Doesn’t matter. Maybe someday I’ll find somepony that can keep up with The Dash.” She flashed a smile and took a bite of apple.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “The Dash? Seriously?”

Rainbow winked at her and grinned. “An awesome nickname for an awesome pony.”

Twilight had to laugh at that. “Okay, you’re definitely an awesome—no, scratch that—you’re the most awesome pony I’ve ever known.”

The pegasus preened at the compliment. “Yo, Twi," she began before being interrupted by the unicorn.

“Twi?” Now both eyebrows were raised.

“You’re an awesome pony. You deserve an awesome nickname, too.”

Twilight blushed slightly. “Thank you. You were saying?”

Rainbow tilted her head trying to recall. After a second, she grinned again. “Oh, yeah! How about we ruin some more dinner rolls?”

“Sure! Although maybe we want to get them right this time?”

Rainbow shrugged. “We will eventually. Sometimes you don’t start out awesome at something, and you have to work at it.”

Twilight started gathering more ingredients while Rainbow wiped the counter clean and dusted it evenly with flour, getting little white streaks in her brightly-colored mane and fetlocks as she worked.

After everything was ready, they began going through the recipe again. Twilight frowned with concentration as she measured out the exact amounts of flour, water, shortening and yeast.

“Say Rainbow?”

“Yeah, Twi?”

“You seem okay with not succeeding on the first try.”

“Yeah.”

“Yesterday, you didn’t seem so okay with maybe not being good at this.”

She shrugged at the unicorn. “I got a rep. Can’t keep a rep when you’re acting all unconfident. But it’s just you and me, and I trust you. So I don’t mind you seeing me work at this. We’re partners. We got each other’s six.”

“Six?”

“Flight term. It means your rear. Like a clock. Straight ahead is twelve. You see?”

Twilight got it. “Ah! Okay.”

“There is one thing I want to say though, just to clear stuff up.”

The lavender unicorn gave her a trusting smile while starting to knead the sticky dough. “Sure!”

“The ‘egghead’ thing wasn’t an insult.”

Twilight paused her kneading. “I didn’t think you were trying to insult me. I assumed you were only teasing, but I thought honesty was for the best. Sometimes I’m sensitive to being teased.”

“That’s fair,” Rainbow replied. “I should have thought to ask.”

“Rainbow,” Twilight said with a worried frown. “I don’t want you having to second guess yourself around me.”

“Nah! I should just be careful with teasing. Not everypony is cool with it like Applejack and Pinkie.”

They both concentrated on their culinary task for the next few minutes. As Twilight kneaded, the dough grew less sticky and springier against her hooves. Rainbow checked the picture in the book to prove they were same like the recipe said and nodded: it looked just right. Satisfied, Rainbow spoke up.

“Actually, ‘egghead’ was a compliment.”

This surprised the unicorn. “Really?”

Rainbow nodded. “Yeah. I mean when it started about the books, I was being all defensive and... a bit mean. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Dash.” Quickly, Twilight continued. “You don’t mind me calling you ‘Dash,’ do you? I mean it would sound weird to refer to you as ‘The Dash’ so I thought maybe just ‘Dash’ would—”

Rainbow silenced her nervous friend with a hoof on her mouth. “It’s cool, Twi.” She took her hoof away and Twilight smiled again. Rainbow smiled back and finished explaining. “Anyway, when it started yeah I was being dumb. But when I read the Daring Do book and saw how awesome it was, I thought to myself that there’s something to being an egghead and it’s really cool. Not everypony’s an awesome flier like me. You’re an awesome smart pony and you do smart pony stuff, so yeah. You’re an egghead but it’s your thing and it’s what makes you awesome.”

Twilight hugged Rainbow again. “That’s quite possibly the best compliment I’ve ever had! Thank you!”

“No prob, Twi. So you think these rolls will turn out okay?”

“Probably not, but that’s cool.” The unicorn winked at her pegasus friend. “Doesn’t matter. We’ll keep at it until we get it right.”

Sugar Shock

“Okay,” Twilight began after settling down with a stack of recipe books on the sofa. Spike had just left for his play date, and she and Rainbow were beginning Day Two of their cooking experiments. “Now that we know thanks to Spike that ‘proofing’ dough means something other than what we originally thought, I think it’s safe to say that we can move on to another project. Especially as the last batch of rolls turned out rather well if I do say so myself.”

Rainbow Dash nodded while munching on one of the rolls. “It’s gotta be cool, though. I mean the rolls are good, but c’mon. They’re rolls. We need something that makes ponies stop and stare!” She was grinning and hovered several inches off the sofa due to excitement.

Twilight was dubious that mastering dinner rolls precluded the necessity to continue with a more basic program, but the deal she and Rainbow had worked out was that they would alternate choosing projects. As yesterday’s subject was Twilight’s decision, today would be Rainbow Dash’s. “But there aren’t any other ponies here, Dash, so why not just focus on mastering basics before we move to something spectacular?”

Immediately, the pegasus looked crestfallen. Her wings drooped, and she drifted back to her seat. Twilight was surprised to see her friend look as if she might cry. Rainbow Dash never cried.

“I dunno, Twi,” the pony said quietly. “I just wanna do something neat.”

The cyan pegasus was being so unlike the usual Rainbow that Twilight didn’t have an immediate response. She put a comforting hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder and with as much reassuring cheer she could muster said, “Sure thing! Why not be ambitious? It’s still early in the process, so if it doesn’t work out, we’ll just scale it back, right?”

Rainbow surprised her with a strong hug. “Yeah! That’s the spirit!” She immediately dived into the cookbooks looking for something appropriately awesome.

This didn’t ease Twilight’s worry, though. Something had been off with Dash for several weeks at least. Perhaps Twilight had been too preoccupied with her studies, or simply not observant enough, but she was becoming increasingly worried; however, she was also highly aware that Dash could be especially prickly when confronted of late. Twilight reasoned she would need to be as careful and as subtle as possible discussing whatever was going on with the pegasus, assuming Rainbow even realized she was acting out of sorts. It was the least she could do, she felt, as Rainbow had been so wonderful yesterday when Twilight had opened up to her.

Twilight watched Rainbow flipping through the pages of the books and discarding them almost as quickly. She had no idea what the pegasus would settle on, but she found herself eager to see. She smiled thinking about how enthusiastic and trusting Rainbow Dash was. Twilight truly admired her. Dash had now settled on a book and was turning the pages at a much slower rate. It was interesting watching her read. Twilight handled books so differently, with a delicate deference, but Rainbow’s eagerness was pleasing to her. She felt a bit of an emotional twinge at that moment while sitting on the sofa watching Rainbow. She was worried for Dash, but was also truly enjoying this time. Before she could dwell on it further, Rainbow Dash flew into the air triumphantly.

“Got it!” the pegasus cried holding the cookbook above her head and doing a midair pirouette. She zoomed down and sat beside Twilight. The unicorn could feel the heat of excitement from Rainbow Dash’s body now that she was close. She smiled again as this was the usual Rainbow Dash she knew and loved.

“What is it?” Twilight asked.

“Bananas Celestia!” Rainbow answered with a wide grin handing the cookbook to the lavender unicorn.

Twilight took the book offered from Dash and skimmed the recipe. Dessert named in honor of the sun princess... bananas... ice cream... caramel sauce... flambé tableside to the delight of your guests... Flambé? Alarm bells went off in Twilight’s head. “Um, Rainbow?” She asked with hesitation.

The pegasus narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, Twi?”

“You do realize we have to flambé the dish?”

Rainbow tilted her head. “That means ‘set it on fire,’ right? It’s not a trick word like ‘proof’ is it?”

Twilight nodded as her hope dwindled that Rainbow simply didn’t fully comprehend the inherent dangers of purposefully lighting food on fire inside a house made out of a living tree.

“Yeah!” Rainbow responded throwing a leg around Twilight’s shoulders and leading her in the direction of the kitchen. Perhaps the cyan pegasus’ enthusiasm was infectious as the unicorn didn’t seem to mind so much setting a fire in her own home containing several hundred beloved books as Rainbow walked with her squeezing her shoulder in a most reassuring manner. “You’ll see! Everypony will look at our awesome dessert and go ‘Whoa! That’s like the coolest dessert of all time!’ We’ll be the hit of the picnic!”

“Okay, Dash! Let’s do this!”

The enthusiasm was short-lived. They had decided to forego making the ice cream from scratch this time as Twilight argued that would make this two projects, deciding instead to use Spike’s ice cream reserves along with bananas from the pantry. That left only the sauce to make. Looking over the recipe, it seemed fairly straightforward, but this proved not to be the case. The first attempt ended with the caramel sauce far too runny. Then it was so thick that after a few stirs, the spoon wouldn’t move, nor could it be removed. The third attempt ended with a multitude of small sugar lumps stuck to the bottom of the pan.

Twilight could almost feel the palpable waves of frustration emanating from the pegasus. “Dash, why don’t we take a break for a second and give this another try in a few minutes?” she asked hoping to head off a meltdown.

Dash stared grimly at the several failed caramel sauce attempts littering the kitchen. She nodded and wordlessly stomped out of the kitchen. Twilight quickly joined her.

“Are you okay, Dash?” the unicorn asked once her friend had settled on the couch with her front hooves crossed and a grumpy expression fixed on her face.

Rainbow sighed loudly. “Yeah. Just annoyed. I like stuff working the first time.”

Twilight was puzzled. “You were so patient with me yesterday when I was ready to give up. Has something changed?” She was scared that maybe Rainbow Dash didn’t want to cook with her any longer. Had she been too emotional yesterday? Had she managed to mess things up without even realizing?

“Nah,” Rainbow answered. For a second, Twilight was confused wondering if Dash had been able to read her mind and had responded to her unasked questions. She quickly realized that Dash was saying that nothing had changed. The pegasus continued, “I’ve always been better helping others get through stuff than I’ve been at not getting it right myself. My flight school instructors always told me I was way too hard on myself, but you know, Twilight? You don’t get awesome by settling.”

“Sure, but we’ve only been trying to do this for a little under an hour.”

The pegasus shrugged. “You’re right. Want to give it another try?” She jumped up and began making her way to the kitchen.

Twilight let out a sigh. She supposed this was as much break as she could manage. Hopefully, Dash would be a little more forgiving if the next attempt didn’t work.

“Hey, Twi?” Rainbow called from the kitchen.

Twilight stood and made her way there as well. “Yes, Dash?”

“Got any more apples? I’m hungry again. Feeling a bit jittery, too.”

“Sure,” Twilight responded. As she entered the kitchen, she found Rainbow had already started heating the sugar mixture.

Rainbow immediately went into the pantry once Twilight arrived to get some fruit while Twilight began carefully stirring the sugar as it was starting to liquefy at the edges. She glanced at the counter to make sure the butter was ready to create the sauce and was pleased to see Rainbow had set it out in preparation.

Twilight realized that she was witnessing another instance of Dash’s odd recent appetite. She decided it was time to see if she could get to the bottom of the mystery. “I don’t mean to pry and tell me to mind my own business if you want—” She stopped unsure of how to proceed.

“Spit it out, Twilight,” Dash responded as she came out of the pantry eating an apple.

“Well, your mood has been a bit up and down lately, and you’re really hungry, at least when I’ve been around.”

Rainbow chewed and talked at the same time. “So?”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit odd?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Dunno. I don’t think about stuff. I just do stuff.”

Twilight gave a laugh. “If I didn’t know better, I might think you’re pregnant.”

Rainbow stopped chewing. Twilight was alarmed at how unnaturally pale the pegasus instantly became.

Twilight took Rainbow’s hoof in hers. “Are you okay? You’re as pale as a ghost.”

The pegasus didn’t answer.

“Rainbow? You aren’t... are you?” Twilight’s eyes were as wide as saucers. It had been an offhoof joke. Surely, Dash couldn’t be pregnant.

Rainbow only shrugged in answer.

“You might be?” Twilight squeaked out.

“Uh.”

“Well ,when was the last time you were—” The unicorn stopped, unsure of how to proceed. She fidgeted about while waiting on Rainbow to respond.

“Had sex, or had my time of the month?”

It was Twilight’s turn to go pale. “Either?” she asked hoping that her friend at least kept a basic schedule of her periods.

“A few weeks.”

“Which one?”

“Both I think.”

“You think?” The unicorn responded in shock. It wasn’t that she judged Rainbow’s seemingly very active dating life, but that not having every part of every single day organized and scheduled and entered into multiple lists with redundancies to catch irregularities and the occasional error was inconceivable to her.

“I don’t really keep track, you know?”

“Of either one?” Just contemplating a life lived without mapping out every detail of a pony’s day overwhelmed Twilight to the point of existential crisis.

Rainbow just shrugged again.

“And I thought worrying about a flambé setting the house on fire would be the highlight of my day,” Twilight quipped, trying to hide her nerves. “Should you go to the doctor?”

“I dunno. What would you do?”

“Me? I think we established yesterday this wasn’t really ever going to be an issue I would have to deal with.”

Rainbow nodded, not looking comforted. “Well, how about what would a pony do in general?”

“I suppose you go to the doctor and get tested.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to go right now?”

“No.”

“Later?”

“Maybe.”

“When?”

“Maybe when I can breathe again, Twi. I hadn’t thought about this before you asked.”

Twilight nodded. “That’s a plan. Plans are good. I like plans. I’m happy to be a part of the planning process if you want. How about we go over the basics?” Despite how much she wanted to be strong for Rainbow, the unicorn could feel panic fraying the edges of her thoughts. She desperately hoped the pegasus would be willing to formulate some sort of plan; otherwise, chaos. That’s what life without plans ended up being. Chaos.

It was Rainbow’s turn to nod.

“Okay,” began the unicorn. “When was the last time you had... relations?” Good, she thought. One step at a time.

“Uh. A couple weeks ago, maybe?”

“Maybe?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. Precisely how a pony might not remember such an event escaped the unicorn.

“I was a bit drunk, but I think we... um... sealed the deal.”

“Oh.”

“By ’a bit drunk’ I mean I could barely remember my own name.”

Twilight could feel her anger rising.

It must have shown because Rainbow asked, “What? Are you mad at me? I mean it’s not like I do this all the time or anything."

“I’m not mad at you. I don’t think intimacy with other ponies is wrong on any level, but you were drunk. That means he took advantage of you.”

The pegasus snorted. “I was way better off than him. I had to carry him half the way to his apartment.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Um, do I know the father? I mean the potential father?” Twilight recovered quickly. She felt vaguely nauseous. She had no idea why the idea of Rainbow carrying somepony’s foal would cause her to feel this way, but frankly that was a matter for another time. What was important was making her friend feel secure and supported and loved.

“Er... I don’t think so. It was in Cloudsdale. Breeze something or something Breeze. I didn’t really catch his name. Maybe it was Wind instead of Breeze. Dunno.”

“What?” Twilight asked. Her voice came out as a high squeak. She coughed, trying to sound a little less like Pinkie Pie. “I take it you didn’t use any protection?” At least she sounded normal now.

“No, we did... but... “

“But?”

“Like I said, we were both plastered, but yeah we sorta used protection.”

“I’m confused.”

“Well, he made a hat out of it.”

“A what now?”

“A hat. Like a balloon animal hat... out of the... you know...”

Twilight stared at Dash slack jawed.

Rainbow shrugged again. “It was funny at the time, and he was hot, so we just sort of went with it. It was fun.”

“I need to sit down.”

“Me, too.”

They both walked wordlessly back to the sofa. For a few peaceful yet painful minutes, they sat quietly recovering.

Twilight broke the silence. “You should go to the doctor.” Firmness was the answer. Rainbow was frightened, so she needed a firm hoof to guide her. Twilight was very willing to be that hoof for the pegasus.

“I should.”

“Will you?”

Rainbow didn’t have the energy to pretend. “I don’t know.”

“Would you like me to go with you?” She had no idea if she wanted Dash to say yes or no.

“Would you?” Rainbow answered with a hopeful look at Twilight.

Twilight gripped the pegasus in a strong hug. She felt Dash let out a deep breath.

“Of course. Why not go now? Just get it over with?”

Rainbow whispered, “Okay. Sure we shouldn’t try and get the caramel right first?”

Twilight chuckled and gave her one last squeeze before releasing the pegasus. That was when she and Rainbow simultaneously realized that the caramel was still cooking on the stove. The black smoke billowing out of the kitchen indicated that wasn’t going so well. Both the unicorn and the pegasus sprinted toward the smoke hoping to at least prevent a complete disaster. Twilight opened a window and Rainbow removed the smoking pan from the heat and ran cold water over it. The smoke worsened at first, but Twilight used her magic to blow the smoke out the window. They were left with a blackened lump welded to the pan.

“Let’s put this on hold for now, and make that doctor’s visit,” Twilight declared.

* * *

The trip to the doctor’s office was pleasant. The sun was bright and warm, and if Twilight Sparkle tried hard enough, she could just feel like this was a nice stroll with a friend on any sunny summer day, not her taking her friend to visit a doctor to find out if she was having somepony else’s foal.

Arriving at the doctor’s office, Twilight sensed that Rainbow was ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. She put a hoof on her friend’s shoulder and smiled. “You know if you aren’t ready for this, we can put it off for a little while?” She wanted Dash to go to the doctor, but she wasn’t willing to completely panic her friend when a day might not matter in the grand scheme of things.

Rainbow shook her head. “Nah, it’s always better to just jump headfirst into things. That way you don’t spook yourself before you get going.”

Twilight didn’t think that was a universal premise, but decided now wasn’t the time for debating semantic logic.

Twilight opened the door, and they entered. In short order, Dash was checked in, and the two friends waited in silence until Dash’s name was called. Twilight briefly wondered if she should offer to go in with her, but Rainbow didn’t ask and was through the door with the nurse before the unicorn could work up the nerve. She settled on flipping through a vapid gossip magazine while she waited.

When Dash returned, the clock indicated only half an hour had passed, but it seemed like hours to Twilight. She cleared her throat and spoke to the obviously nervous pegasus. “So how long before the test results come in?”

Rainbow sat down beside her and answered quietly which bothered Twilight more than it should have. “She said to give her a few minutes. You unicorns and your magic,” Dash tried to joke before drifting into silence.

Twilight nodded and realized that Dash had taken her hoof and was squeezing it. She gave her best smile to the pegasus and settled down to wait.

A few more minutes passed before the door opened and the nurse poked her head out. “Rainbow Dash? If you’ll follow me.”

Dash didn’t move a muscle.

The nurse gave her a reassuring smile and asked, “Do you need a moment?”

Still no movement.

Twilight asked, “Would you like me to come with you?”

Rainbow gulped and nodded. Together the two friends walked to the nurse and were led to an empty examination room. The nurse told them the doctor would be along shortly and shut the door behind her as she left. They waited wordlessly. Twilight wanted to be reassuring. She wanted to do for Rainbow Dash what the pegasus had done for her the day prior, but she couldn’t find words at this particular moment. She wished she could be as good a friend as Rainbow. She settled for continuing to hold Dash’s hoof as a gesture of solidarity.

The doctor arrived with a chart in tow. “Thanks for waiting, Ms. Dash,” she said as she took the remaining seat in the room. She turned to Twilight asking, “Good afternoon, I’m Doctor Cart.”

Twilight shook her hoof and gave her name in return.

The doctor turned back to Rainbow. “I won’t keep you in suspense, but we need to discuss some important matters.”

Twilight gripped her friend’s hoof as she felt Rainbow tense up.

“To start, I need to let you know that you are not pregnant.”

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. But then why did the doctor need to discuss something important?

Dash had also relaxed. “Jeez, Doc. You had me going! I thought you were serious for a moment!”

The doctor coughed gently and looked at the pegasus with a kind but stern expression. “I apologize, Ms. Dash. I didn’t intend to give the wrong impression, but I am being serious. You aren’t pregnant; however, our tests did find an anomaly. I put the secondary blood sample through the test as well to confirm, which is why there was a longer-than-usual delay.” She paused to look at the chart before resuming. “I’m afraid I have to let you know that you have Type II Pegasus Diabetes.”

Twilight wasn’t familiar with that, but she knew it had to be bad because Rainbow was trembling.

Dash shook her head as if to deny the diagnosis, or just erase it completely. “No. Oh, no. No.” She closed her eyes and kept repeating “No.”

The doctor tried to talk to her. “I can see you’re familiar with the condition. I realize most pegasi have a lot of assumptions about this diagnosis and how it can impact your life. What I would like to do—”

She was interrupted by Rainbow jumping to her hooves. “The Wonderbolts,” she said in a shocked murmur, before quickly shouldering past the doctor and bolting out the door before either the doctor or Twilight could move.

“What?” Twilight asked confused. She looked at the doctor. “What’s going on?” The unicorn was torn by wanting to learn more about what her friend faced and wanting to chase after her.

The doctor looked at Twilight kindly. “It’s not a disease that affects unicorns or earth ponies. Pegasi are prone to it, but it’s still uncommon. Her body doesn’t process insulin correctly, and it can have a great impact on her physically. It also explains the mood swings she indicated as part of her symptoms as fluctuating blood sugar levels can easily cause fluctuations in mood.”

“But the Wonderbolts?” Twilight was still confused.

The doctor looked down at the ground, frowning. “Your friend is the local weather mare that wants to join the Wonderbolts, yes?” She looked back up at Twilight who could sense the pity behind her eyes.

Twilight nodded.

The doctor continued. “I’ve heard of her. She’s something of a celebrity around here since she comes into the hospital with crash-related injuries from time to time.” She paused briefly. “This particular condition makes extended athletic competition problematic. It’s quite possible that she won’t be allowed into the Wonderbolts. There used to be a great deal of prejudice in the pegasus community against ponies who have diabetes because rather unfortunately they were seen as disabled for not being able to contribute to traditional pegasus vocations, but it’s gotten much better for the most part as treatments have progressed and as ponies have learned to better accept others’ differences.”

Twilight didn’t know how to respond. She could only stare out the door through which Dash had fled.

She felt a hoof on her shoulder now. “Will you take the information packet to her? Also, please encourage her to make another appointment. I need to get her started on a treatment plan as soon as possible. Untreated this can be quite dangerous.”

The lavender unicorn nodded. She numbly took the packet and left, but Dash was nowhere to be seen.

Delicacy

Rainbow knocked on the library door. She knew she shouldn’t have flown off like that yesterday. It wasn’t fair to Twilight, but she had just felt so trapped in that tiny examination room with its stupid walls and stupid ceiling. Instinct had taken over when she heard the diagnosis. She felt really dumb. She should have recognized the signs and knew what was going on instead of thinking she was just sick or something. But she hadn’t because she never took the time to take a second and just think. She really disliked that about herself. She wished she was more like Twilight and for the thousandth time or so wondered why she couldn’t be. No pony had answered the library door. Maybe Twilight wasn’t home. Rainbow hoped she hadn’t stayed out all night or something crazy looking for her. She felt even worse thinking about that. She knocked again just in case.

The door opened and she was face to face with Twilight for the first time since yesterday, and she realized two things. First, she had to come clean... about everything. Second, she had no idea how to even start. The only word she could think of to describe how she felt was humiliation—complete and utter humiliation. She owed Twilight honesty, though.

“Rainbow?” The lavender unicorn said quietly. “I—” She began after a short pause but stopped again.

“Hey, Twi.” The pegasus tried to summon a smile but couldn’t muster one. “The doctor wanted me to thank you for getting me to come back.”

“You went back?”

“Yeah. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I hadn’t seen you because I’m a big coward.” Might as well start with the truth.

Twilight paused considering Rainbow’s words. Finally, she stepped to the side without a word letting the pegasus come inside.

“Thanks,” Rainbow said.

Twilight shut the door and asked Rainbow to have a seat. “Why are you here?” she asked once the pegasus was settled.

“It’s time for our cooking stuff.” She berated herself instantly inside her own head. That wasn’t what she intended to say. She intended to say she was sorry and ask for a chance to explain herself. She felt ashamed that she couldn’t find the courage to do it because she had never seen herself as somepony lacking courage.

Twilight blinked at her. “Really? We’re just going to... I have no idea how... You ran away from me!” She sat on the sofa but did so positioned as far away from the pegasus as possible.

It was time for the pegasus to pony up and get it over with. Rainbow knew that Twilight was probably going to be even madder after she confessed, but she didn’t want to prolong the pain. Like she had told Twi the day before, you just jump in headfirst to avoid psyching yourself out.

“I got something to say before we do anything or you say anything else, okay?” Rainbow began. It was phrased as a question, but it was really more a statement. She didn’t give Twilight a chance to do more than nod before launching into it. “I lied. I shouldn’t have, but I did.” After that, all her prepared words fled her brain, so she was stuck. She sat there tongue frozen. She dared to glance at Twilight.

The unicorn raised an eyebrow at her. “About what, Rainbow?”

“Um... stuff.” She was trying to figure out how to say it, but Twilight needed to give her time.

The unicorn didn’t pick up on Rainbow’s silent plea. “You ran away from me, and I’m very upset about that, and now you come in here and tell me you’ve been lying to me but won’t say about what?”

Rainbow could feel the fury in Twilight’s words. “I’ll say. I’m trying.”

Twilight’s mouth was set in an angry line. She tapped her hoof waiting.

“I was embarrassed, okay?”

“So you ran away?”

“No, before that.”

Twilight had a look of pure confusion. “I don’t understand.”

Rainbow sighed. “When you asked if I was pregnant or something, I hadn’t thought of it because I don’t know what I did that night exactly. I had like two ciders, and somehow I end up wobbling around like I had two barrels of cider. How could I get drunk on two ciders? That’s not even possible.”

Twilight quickly responded. “Yes, it is possible due to your medical condition. Alcohol can play havoc with a pony who hasn’t been taking care of herself properly and is diabetic. It might have been hypoglycemic shock, or it could have been less to do with any alcohol and much more about your general state. There are a number of factors to consider.”

Rainbow blinked in astonishment. She hadn’t considered that. And how had Twilight known that? She looked closely at the unicorn for the first time since Twilight had opened the door. The unicorn looked tired, and she looked like she had been crying. Glancing around the sofa, Rainbow noticed several medical volumes lying open. “Did you stay up all night or something reading about this?”

“Yes.” Twilight’s response was curt and cold. “I couldn’t find you, so I thought I should at least arm myself with as much information as possible when or if you ever turned up again. All the doctor gave me was a pamphlet. A pamphlet, Rainbow Dash! How is a pony supposed to fully understand a potentially life-threatening disease with a pamphlet?”

Rainbow reached out to comfort Twilight, but the unicorn pulled back defensively. Rainbow dropped her hoof to her side. “I know how it works, Twilight. I watched my granny die from this.”

That seemed to give the unicorn pause. She gulped and looked at her friend worriedly.

Rainbow took the opportunity to continue. “I know that earth ponies and unicorns don’t get this and not a lot of pegasi get it either, but it sorta runs in my family. Not a lot of us but a few.” She took a deep breath. “I should have thought of it when I started feeling moody and when I felt like I was going to pass out after half a cider.”

“Half a cider? I thought you said two ciders?”

“I kept going because... because I don’t want to be weak,” Rainbow replied bitterly.

“That is so incredibly stupid.” Twilight was shaking she was so angry. It was no more than Rainbow deserved.

Rainbow totally got where Twilight’s anger came from and even agreed with it. She really did get it. She tapped into anger every day to get her through all the challenges in her life. Despite wanting to comfort Twilight and despite feeling guilty as sin, she couldn’t stop herself from responding to her friend’s anger with her own. After all, she was the one that wasn’t ever going to be a Wonderbolt now. “Yeah? No kidding, Twilight. I get it! I’m dumb. You’re smart. I lied, okay? I lied because I was embarrassed!” Rainbow was only barely aware that she was now crying.

Twilight sat there torn between anger and concern.

Rainbow didn’t care. “I don’t know if I slept with Cool Breeze, okay? Yes, I actually do remember his name. I remember him helping me out of the bar, and I remember him trying to figure out where I lived, but I couldn’t answer because I’m pretty sure by now you’re right and I was going into shock, alright? I remember eating some oranges when he finally took me to his place, and I remember waking up. I get I was lucky. That’s it! That’s all I got, okay? I don’t know if I slept with him because I panicked just like yesterday. I flew away as fast as I could and I haven’t looked back!”

Twilight blinked. “Have you considered that he might be concerned?”

That shocked Rainbow. “No. I hadn’t.”

“Have you considered he might have tried looking everywhere for you? Have you considered he asked everypony he knew if they had seen you but he didn’t want to say you had just been diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening disease without okaying it with you first, so everypony probably thought he was crazy?!?!”

What? Rainbow was very confused.

Twilight continued at a scream. “Did you ever think maybe he was worried and confused because maybe he figured out after spending that time alone with you that maybe he has feelings for you and it’s really confusing and probably inappropriate and part of him is terrified that he’s going to screw up our friendship and part of him wants to say to Tartarus with it and throw himself at you because I think you’re fun and beautiful and kind and caring and—” Twilight’s eyes went wide and she clamped her mouth shut.

Rainbow sat there staring at her friend. She was not a pony known for understatement, or she might have responded by saying that this was unexpected. Stupidly, all she could muster was a strangled “Whu?”

Twilight was shaking again. “Get. Out.”

For the first time in a long while, the pegasus saw a clear path. Maybe it was the insulin kicking in. “Okay,” she said.

Twilight’s eye twitched, but Rainbow didn’t give her time to continue.

“I’m going to go outside and sit beside the door. I’m not running away from you. You’re my friend. I didn’t know you feel the way you feel, but I’m not running away. I’ll sit there for a minute or an hour or a week until you come outside and tell me you want to talk or never want to see me again, okay?”

Twilight gave a jerk of her head, which Rainbow took as a nod of agreement. She got up, wiped the tears from her own eyes, walked outside closing the door and sat down beside it. She settled in to wait as long as she needed.

***

After a little more than an hour, Rainbow began doubting the wisdom of her plan. It had seemed like a great idea. She would show Twilight how much she valued her friendship, and that she could be relied upon. What she hadn’t counted on was how much she hated sitting in one place with nothing to do for any length of time. Occasionally, a passerby would look at her curiously ramping up her edginess, but she played it off with a casual wave and nod. The secret was to always play it cool.

Of course that brought up the problem of how to play it cool when one of your best friends had just accidentally confessed a crush. Part of her wished that Twilight had confessed a crush on Applejack or Rarity or any other pony alive. Part of her preened at the thought that yet another pony had fallen for The Dash’s charms which admittedly was inevitable after spending time alone with her. Part of her was flat-out terrified because Twilight Sparkle was amazingly smart, stupidly talented, and had the whole Hot, Shy Librarian look going for her. If anypony was out of her league with the exception of the royal sisters, it was Twilight Sparkle.

Dash’s eyes widened and her stomach lurched at that last thought. Could she feel something for Twilight, or was it just a random hormone surge because the unicorn was attracted to her? This is too much. First, I’m diagnosed with a stupid disease that ends my chance at being a Wonderbolt before I even get to try, and now at the single worst possible time I need to be gentle and considerate and careful? I’m The Rainbow Dash. Do any of those words apply to me? Like ever? Rainbow was considering hitting her head against the library until she knocked herself unconscious when fate or Celestia or some other divine, merciful power took pity on her. The door opened, and Twilight stood there being all vulnerable and sad. She couldn’t look the pegasus in the eye and stared at her own feet. Rainbow hated seeing her friend so upset, but instinctively she knew that she had to let the unicorn take the lead on this.

Quietly, Twilight asked, “Would you like to come back in? We should discuss this.” She emphasized her last sentence by waving a hoof in the air.

“Yeah, Sure,” Rainbow responded with an equally low voice. She got to her hooves and followed her friend inside as Twilight closed the door behind them with her magic.

Twilight stopped in front of the sofa and Rainbow stopped as well trying to give her any space she might need without appearing as if she were avoiding her friend. Not for the first time in her life, the pegasus thought about how frustrating and difficult this friendship gig was. She watched Twilight nervously glance back and forth between her own hooves and Rainbow. For her part, Rainbow struggled against feeling overwhelmed by discomfort and concentrated on staying still and most definitely not flying away as far and as fast as possible to get away from these feelings of vulnerability. She was the element of loyalty. She would not do that to Twilight again.

“So,” Twilight began obviously searching for words. “Can I make you an omelet?”

Rainbow nodded before realizing that Twilight was looking anywhere except at her. “Yeah,” she said recovering. “That would be great.”

Twilight tried to give a smile and failed. “I’ve been practicing. I—I hope you don’t mind.” Her voice trembled.

“Of course not!” Rainbow exclaimed louder than she meant to do. That was all she intended to say, but feelings of panic took hold and she quickly went on although in a more normal tone. “I think it’s really cool that you take this so seriously. I... I really appreciate that, you know? I mean it, Twi. I really do.” Oh sweet Celestia above, she thought to herself, I’m gonna ramble like a foal hopped up on too many sweets. She couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I’m more of a ‘throw yourself at it and hope for the best’ type, but I think your way of planning things out is good, too. I don’t think I let you know that like I should have.” She could not shut up. Why can I not shut up? Was her mouth disconnected from her brain? She was starting to wonder if she even had a brain. “If this stuff is going to work out I mean, it won’t be because of me. It’ll be because of you. You’re smart and honestly you’ve been better at the loyalty stuff lately than I have, too. What I’m trying to say is... um... um... I’m going to practice more too. The cooking. You know? Yeah. That’s it.” She needed to ask Pinkie Pie how she managed to stay even slightly coherent when she rambled because this was humiliating. “If you want me to practice that is. Maybe you don’t even want to do this stuff anymore.”

Twilight for her part seemed a bit stunned and only blinked.

After a couple moments of silence, Rainbow continued because as she saw it anything at all was better than silence. “I don’t mean that you aren’t dedicated, and I’m not calling you a quitter. I didn’t mean that! I mean it’s just that I’m not sure I’m worth all the junk, and I get that it’s hard and I get that I’ve been really weird and I’m sorry.” Maybe Fluttershy had the right idea moving away from everypony and hiding out. Even dealing with that rabbit of hers had to be better than acting like a stuttering fool.

Thankfully, Twilight interrupted the babbling pegasus. “Rainbow!”

At her name, the pegasus finally managed to turn off the spigot. She shifted uncomfortably waiting for judgement.

Twilight sighed. “Let me just cook you an omelet, please? Have you set up a schedule for your meds and your meals?”

Rainbow shook her head. “I came straight here after going to the doc.”

“Oh.”

“I know I don’t really deserve it, but would you help me with a schedule? I look at charts and my eyes cross.”

“I can do that, Rainbow. Let’s eat first, though.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Do you think I should just do it myself? I mean learn to do the scheduling?”

Twilight hesitated. The lavender unicorn scrunched her nose a bit, which Rainbow recognized as Twilight considering how to word something diplomatically. It was a skill she wished she could figure out for herself. “Yes,” Twilight finally responded. “You should learn, but I don’t think just trying to do it on your own when your health is at stake is the best way to go about it.”

“You mean you don’t mind helping me?”

Rainbow’s heart lurched at the sad look that overcame Twilight. “I’ll help. I’m not sure how much I can help, though. I feel... raw.”

Rainbow nodded, and they went into the kitchen. Rainbow sat at the counter while Twilight cracked the eggs into the skillet. She must have been practicing a lot in the past few days because she would had been hopeless even at this stage when they first started. Or maybe she wasn’t overthinking this because she had other worries. The pegasus sighed. Those worries of course were caused by a certain weather pony who had screwed things up.

Twilight added mushrooms and cheese and some mild peppers and folded the omelet as she slid it onto the plate. The omelet fold wasn’t right, but Rainbow certainly wasn’t going to complain. It smelled great, too. She waited until Twilight had prepared herself a dish as well. Both ate, and Rainbow at least was thankful to have something to do besides figure out how to go forward. That couldn’t last though. There was only so long you could work on eating an omelet before it became a cold mess or you were finished.

Still, Rainbow wasn’t going to be the first one to speak, and she was glad when Twilight did instead. “I want to keep working on this experiment, Dash.” The cyan pegasus’ heart leapt at her friend’s words. Maybe everything wasn’t a big crash and burn. “It’s difficult and unpredictable, but I think it’s definitely worth the effort. I simply need to learn to manage my expectations.”

She couldn’t figure out if Twilight was talking about her or the cooking. Maybe both she thought. “Sometimes,” Rainbow responded. “Difficult stuff is worth it—like cooking. It’s definitely worth it, you know? I mean sure it’s a pain in the flank most of the time and it gets all screwy the more you try to figure it out, but in the end maybe it’s just one of those things where—” she paused trying to figure out how to say it. “It’s one of those things where you sort of have to get accustomed to how weird it can be before you get the hang of when it’s going to work and when you have to tell it to just shut up because it just acts all unpredictable and wild.” What am I even saying?

Twilight obviously was wondering the same thing as she only squinted at the now sweating pegasus.

“I mean even if you only end up liking to cook casually... um... wait. No. I mean... What do I mean?” Great, Rainbow thought to herself. I’m back to babbling. “Maybe if it’s too hard to be like an expert chef or something or it’s just not worth the effort, then it’s still cool to maybe just like cooking instead of having to love cooking to want to have anything to with it.”

Twilight was still squinting at her. The only difference was now her head was tilted at an angle as if she were staring at some inscrutable puzzle. “Inscrutable” was another word she had picked up from the Daring Do novels. It was strange, she remarked to herself, how she latched onto something insignificant like a vocabulary word when she was going down in flames.

“Right?” Dash asked feebly. It was time to bail out, or at least bail Twilight out before the Rainbow Crash Express met its inevitable, wordy doom. “I should go.” She realized that might look like she was running away again. “I’m not bailing on you. I just think—”

Her friend put a hoof to Rainbow’s mouth to silence her. “We still need to fix your schedule.”

Rainbow nodded, and Twilight took her hoof away before continuing. “Rainbow, I will admit that cooking is rather unpredictable, but I think I’m perhaps starting to anticipate there will be surprises. I don’t know to be quite honest how things will work themselves out, but so far I think cooking is worth a chance at the very least.” She looked down, and Rainbow could see her cheeks color slightly. “I think I still may love to cook, but you might be right I suppose. I might decide that I only like cooking. I think I need time to figure that out.”

The pegasus felt like a weight was lifted from her. She was mostly sure they weren’t actually talking about being in a kitchen, but she had done enough thinking for one day from her point of view. It was better to just take it as it was and figure it out later if she was even capable of that. “Yeah, I think your plan is what’s best.”

Twilight gave her the first warm smile of the encounter. It was more than Rainbow felt she deserved. Then the unicorn floated over a quill and some parchment and began putting together a schedule for her making sure to take into account the documentation the doctor had given Rainbow. The only problem for Rainbow was that Twilight kept putting practice flying into the schedule when there wasn’t a point anymore. Finally, she couldn’t take it.

“Twi,” she said interrupting the unicorn’s pleasant chatter as she moved sections of the pegasus’ day around. “I don’t need to keep practicing tricks. It’s... there isn’t a point, you know?” The words were hard and Rainbow Dash fought back the stupid tears that threatened to take the last of her dignity away.

Twilight facehooved herself. “Oh,no! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry, Rainbow. I was upset and it just slipped my mind. The doctor spoke to me about the Wonderbolts, and how pegasus society has had problematic views on ponies with your condition.”

Rainbow looked away. “Yeah, it isn’t something to be proud of I know.”

“No, Dash, you misunderstand. I think it’s completely unfair and backwards to treat ponies that way, so I started researching last night to build a case for an appeal.”

“An appeal? For me?”

Twilight nodded fully in lecture mode now. “Yes, but it’s unnecessary. The Wonderbolts dropped the policy almost half a decade ago. It wasn’t widely publicized I assume due to it being ridiculously ignorant. There’s even been a Wonderbolt who has the disease. I believe her name is Cloud Dancer. Does that sound familiar?” she asked.

Rainbow knew every Wonderbolt who had flown in the past few decades. She nodded. “Yeah. I remember her! She was really cool and could create multiple, small localized wind funnels that shaped the clouds on the fly into sculptures while maintaining her speed. I think she retired two years ago. She was really cool, though.”

That was when what Twilight was saying actually dawned on her. “You mean... You mean I have a chance?”

The unicorn smiled and nodded. “Yes, but it won’t be easy. You’ll have to prove you have your condition under complete control. The article I read had a statement from the Wonderbolts saying flyer safety is paramount.”

Rainbow leapt into the air and did a small loop before settling again. “OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!!” she shouted. “I’m going to be a Wonderbolt!” She swooped Twilight into her hooves and flew around the kitchen and out into the main part of the library. “You are so the coolest unicorn ever!” She deposited the blushing unicorn onto the couch. She knew she shouldn’t be so touchy-feely with Twilight because of the romance stuff, but she was just too excited. She had to fly! “Twi, you are the best! I gotta go practice! You mind if I go practice?”

Twilight grinned and waved her on. That was all Rainbow needed as she zoomed out the door and into the sky. Glancing back, she saw her still smiling friend standing in the doorway watching her sail into the clouds. Twilight really was the best, she thought, and the pegasus was going to take the cooking stuff and her friend’s feelings seriously. That was for tomorrow, though. Today she had to fly. Life was awesome she decided even if some stupid disease was trying to ground her.