CMR

by Mushi

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Mayor Mare
Length: 2826

Things got really weird when a huge lot of poison jokes fell on Ponyville

Things got really weird when a huge lot of poison jokes fell on Ponyville

Published 2011-09-04 23:01:23 UTC
Last updated 2011-09-17 01:13:20 UTC

1

The cutie mark revolution

That Day had started as a normal Day in Ponyville, nopony would expect what was about to happen. Now, it was night, a dark night. Ponyville was covered by numerous blue flowers. Poison jokes, to be exact. A lot of ponies using protective clothes were working as fast as they could to get rid of these infernal flowers before the morning arrives.
A pony, the principal of the mail department of Equestria, was talking to one of the working ponies.

“I don’t know why in the hay somepony would ask us to deliver this huge lot of poison jokes!”

“Yes, but you should have called us before sending it do the delivery!”

'I’m sorry! They didn’t even tell me before sending it. And they sent DERPY HOOVES to this job! Can you believe it? Who would be that crazy??”

“Derpy Hooves? That weird mare?”

“Yes, and the stallion who sent her is fired”

“Very well!”

They worked the whole night and they destroyed those flowers by incinerating them. That was all they could do, unfortunately. The next day was about be the weirdest day of the ponyvillians’ lives.
It was morning! The sun was shining, but everypony was asleep. Twilight was having a good dream about she marrying a book, a handsome book, with hard cover and over 9000 pages, and all of her friends were there. It was a good dream, but it was interrupted by a scream. Twilight woke up upset, ready to scold that noisy pony, but when she opened her window, she saw the most unbelievable of her life: I giant Flower was carrying Lily through Ponyville, it was Lily’s cutie mark! A giant lily with stickman’s legs and arms. It was holding one of Lily’s hind legs.

“The horror! The horror!” She was really scared this time but, wouldn’t you be scared?

“Oh… my… gosh…” That was the only thing Twilight could say, before she ran towards the mirror to check her cutie mark. It wasn’t there.

Desperate, she started to call spike to send a letter to Princess Celestia. No answers. With a very bad feeling she went downstairs.
There, holding spike and covering his mouth with a stickman hand, was her cutie mark. She got completely horrified and tried to hit it with a magic missile.

“You better not to do it. Or else, something reeeaaally bad might happen to your little friend…”
To be continued…

3

Well. If you’re still reading it, I think I can assume that you like this fic, so, maybe you will be happy to know that this chapter will be bigger! Yes, I will try to slow down a bit and keep the nosenseness. I hope you like it. Now, to the chapter!

“Are all of your citizens here?” It asked to the mayor in the cage.

“Yes… they are” She answered scared.

“So, let’s get it started!”

...

The Mayor cutie mark stood up and started talking.
“Cutie marks! We are her today to start something, something that will be remembered forever! Today we will start the cutie mark’s revolution!” It was gesticulating vigorously.

All the cutie marks were shouting “CMR! CMR!” and punching the air. No need to say that all the ponies were scared. Well, truth to be told, not all of them wasn’t scared; Pokey pierce was hypnotized by Pinkie Pie’s cutie mark, so he wasn’t even paying attention to the situation, and Pinkie was liking to be held by the tail by her cutie mark.

Twilight and Rainbow Dash were next to each other, and both of them were trying to find their friends, but Twilight, that is smarter than rainbow dash, had a better idea. She poked dash’s flank with the horn. Rainbow was going to scold her, but Twilight made a “shhh” sign and pointed to the ground, Dash understood and looked. The purple unicorn was using her magic to write a plan on the ground. The cutie marks weren’t paying any attention since they were watching the inspiring speech of the Mayor Cutie Mark.

Meanwhile, Spike was trying to send letters to the princess, he didn’t know about the poison jokes incident in the last night, so he didn’t understand why in the hay the letters weren’t burning.

“C’mom, fire, do your magic!” he said.

The dragon was desperate, running around of himself to make his brain work. Hes was so desperate he was sweating and eating his claws.

“Ah ha!” he had an idea.

He stretched one of his arms burned it. Ok, it wasn’t a good idea, but it WAS an idea, so he tried it. He was afraid, but he felt no pain. Now, the fire of that poor little dragon was nothing but a cold light.

“Why is this happening? What is going on? I got to do something!” Spike said as he ran towards the bookcases. Maybe one of those numerous books had the answer.

Back to the town square, the Mayor Cutie Mark was specking.

“… since early times, ponies had enslaved us! They use us to show their personalities and don’t even ask us if we want to do it! You, evil ponies, should use yourselves to show the world who you are! And what if we, cutie marks tape you to our flanks, huh? Would you like it?!

“Oh oh! I wanna try it!” Pinkie pie said. She’d be jumping as the usual if she wasn’t being held by her tail.

If cutie marks had faces, they would be poker faces now. After some time of an awkward silence, the Mayor said “Ok, does someone here got any duct tape??” Of course it wasn’t expecting an affirmative answer, but a random cutie mark raised its hand.

“I have a duct tape, sir!”

“What?! Why would you have a duct tape?”Questioned the mayor.

“I like tapes, sir!”

“Ok. So… give it to that cutie mark and help it to tape the pony.”

“Roger!”

The random cutie mark went there and helped Pinkie Pie’s cutie mark to tape her. They taped her upside down. She liked but pokey didn’t, that silly pink pony was blocking his sight of those three giant and beautiful balloons.

“Ok, any other interruption? No? Great! As I was saying, we are not your slaves, ponies, and we’re not going to accept this disrespectful treatment! Today we’re going to punish you!”

While all of the cutie marks were excited about the revolution, the idea of being punished by the cutie marks was scary to the ponies.

Twilight had finished explaining her plan and Rainbow Dash was in full agreement. Now, they only need to wait for the right moment.

At the other side of the tow square were Fluttershy, Rarity and their respective cutie marks. The two ponies were scared in different ways. Rarity was noisy and whining while Fluttershy tried to convince her butterflies to let them go. The ponies were hugging each other in an attempt to get less scared.

“Oh my gosh! Will you shut up?! You’re driving me crazy!”

In another side of the square was Applejack. She had tried to buck her apples several times, but the cutie marks were tougher than she could ever expect, so she gave up for a while, waiting for a chance to surprise the cutie mark.

Back to the stage, The Mayor Cutie mark was about to explain the punishment.

“But don’t worry too much, ponies. We are not bad guys. We could arrest you, hit you, or even kill you, but we won’t do it! We are better and unlike you, we don’t like to mistreat the others! So we only will send you to the exile! There you ….” But it was interrupted

“Nooooo!” Someone shouted.

There, after the crowd, were two cutie marks grabbing each other hands. Two hourglasses and its ponies Colgate and Doctor Whooves. Unlike the others, the cutie marks were not holding their ponies by their tails.

“Please dont do it! Ponies are not bad, Thank to these two ponies here, I found my real love!” One of the hourglasses said as she hugged its pair.

That was a weird kind of interruption and, of course everyone there stopped paying attention to the speech to look to the passionate cutie marks.
“Shut up, we will not let the ponies treat us like this ever again, and if you don’t wanna help us, get out of here!”

The crowd got exited. “Get out of here! Get out of here!” And in the mess, Twilight saw a chance. She poked Rainbow Dash and said “It’s now!”

Continue…

4

The crowd got exited. “Get out of here! Get out of here!” And in the mess, Twilight saw a chance. She poked Rainbow Dash and said “It’s now!”

...

All of the cutie marks were going towards the two hourglasses and the crowd had become a total mess. The hourglasses could escape and as a last act of compassion, they tried to block the way to their ponies.
“Run, you should be free! Run and find some help!”
Doctor Wooves and Colgate would not let their Cutie Marks and the ponies in that situation, they ignored the request and got in the mess to disturb the revolutionaries and help the ponies.

==

It was time to start Twilight’s plan, she aimed the arm of Rainbow Dash’ Cutie Mark and shot it a magic missile, in pain, the cutie mark dropped the pony.

“Have you gone mad?!” I shout furiously.

“I’m sorry! It was a magical sneeze, I couldn’t help it. Please forgive me!” Twilight faked some tears.

Amid the turmoil Rainbow Dash left her plushie near to the cutie mark’s leg and slipped out of the mess slowly to not draw the attention of the agitated Cutie Marks. Once she was out of the turmoil, she flew out as fast as she could. After scolding the purple pony, the blue Pegasus’ Cutie mark got the plushie from the ground. Cutie Marks don’t like ponies, so it didn’t noticed the between the plushie and the real pony.

==

The hourglasses had been captured, and their ponies, after causing some problems, had been captured as well. The order returned as the two traitors were handcuffed, but the plan had been put in action.

“I know you can do it, Rainbow, but please, make it in time!” Twilight thought.

==

Back to Pinkie Pie, she was enjoying the experience of being taped to her ballons and Pokey was still facing it. The pink pony was curious to know why the blue unicorn was facing her (she thought he was facing her)

“Hey! Do you wanna be taped to?” She asked with a friendly smile on her face. The balloon gave her a nudge.

“Heeey! That was so not cool!” She complained

“Not cool? I will tell you what is not cool! Having this KILLER taped to my “flank” is not cool! Now shut up you voice is annoying and I’m trying to pay attention to the mayor!” Pinkie Pie’s cutie mark shouted. She got sad, her mane ant tail started to get straight because of the scold.

==

Once again at the stage, the mayor was talking about its plans.

“Now, as I was talking before the interruption…” It stopped and faced the hourglasses, which were near to the cage in which the Mayor Mare was, with a “killer look” on its “face”, and continued “We will only send you ponies to the exile and leave you there. In that place you will be able to keep your society. Don’t you see how king and evolved we are?” And it kept speaking.

==

Because of the mess, Rarity and Fluttershy had been separated, and now, the white one was trying to bargain.

“Oh dear I have lots of crystal and diamonds at my boutique, if you let go there and…”

“BE QUIET! I can’t take it anymore, shut up!” The cutie mark interrupted.

“B-but They are perfect for you, you can even marry them! I don’t care, you can have all of them!” She was going to continue. But she stopped when the cutie mark grabbed her mane.

“One more word…” It said menacingly.

==

Applejack was mad; she had lost the perfect chance to give apples a killer buck.

“Ah cant restart buckin’ now, ah ah to wait ‘till they are not so ready to the mess ah want to cause!”

==

Rainbow Dash had flown away about 30 minutes ago. Twilight was nervous. She tried to stop thinking about bad things. Looking around, she could see that there were other ponies plotting. Unicorns writing on the ground, pegasi using their wings to make signals , close friends using secrete languages. Of course the ponies wouldn’t accept it and, even partially agreeing with the cutie marks’ objectives, Twilight didn’t want to be exiled. Suddenly, the purple unicorn remembered spikes words, he said he’d let Princess Celestia know about the cutie marks, She trusted in spike and knew her number was assistant would never disappoint. But why would be Celestia taking so long?

The bad thoughts were filling her little head and in a desperate attempt stop thinking about bad things, the only thing she could do was pay attention to the mayor. Of course it wouldn’t help so much, but at least she would have something to fill her head. Since she was being held by her tail, she couldn’t see.

“Excuse me, cutie mark, but I can’t see the mayor from down here…”

“You, a pony, want to see the mayor speaking?”

“Yes… Now it’s clear to me that you are right, I want to listen to the voice of reason now…”

“Ok, I appreciate it, but I still don’t trust you.”

The cutie mark pulled her up and let her to seat I its “shouders”, but it was holding one of her hind legs. Now, twilight could see the stage.

“So… I’m thinking about sending you to that weird forest over there. You will live there. But I want to show you how kind we are, and that is why we will keep diplomatic relations, and they will be mediated by these diplomats right here.” It opened the red curtain on the stage. There, with a very happy look on their faces, were the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Continue...

2

The cutie mark revolution, chapter 2

“You better not to do it. Or else, something reeeaaally bad might happen to your little friend…”

...

Twilight wanted to do anything to help her friend and was thinking hard to figure out anyway to help him.

“We only want the ponies, if you come with me, I will leave your friend alone.” Te cutie mark said.
She accepted and got close to the cutie mark, it put spike on the floor and grabbed Twilight’s tail.

“Don’t worry Twilight! I will let the princess know, and she will help us!” He said as he ran away to look for his writing material.

The cutie mark got out of the house holding Twilight. Outside, the situation was scary, the streets were covered by the cutie marks holding its respective ponies. Twilight tried not to panic so she could think clearly when she heard a familiar voice.

“Twilight! What is going on?” It was Rainbow Dash, she was being held by her tail too.

Rainbow Dash was mad; she was holding a real sized plushie of herself and using it to hit her cutie mark as strong as possible.

“Rainbow, I don’t know… Rainbow, what are you doing with this plush?”

“Um… you know” Rainbow Dash blushed “I found it in my mail box today, I think it is Scootaloo’s job. There was a letter with it, but when I tried to pick up the letter, my cutie mark grabbed my tail! What in the hay is going on?!”

“Wait and you will see, pony!” Said Twilights cutie mark.

They were close to the town square and all of the cutie marks and their ponies were there, surrounding a stage whit a red curtain on it, it was probably hiding something. There, at the center of it, was the cutie mark of the mayor mare. Mayor Mare was locked in a cage on the stage.

Twilight was trying to find her other friends; maybe they could help her to find a way to fix that weird situation.

There was a lot of noise, all the ponies were talking and shouting and all of them wanted to know what was happening. Some of them even tried to ask it directly to the Mayor cutie mark, but it said nothing. It was there, sitting imposingly at the center of the stage for some minutes more.
“Are all of your citizens here?” It asked to the mayor in the cage.
“Yes… they are” She answered scared.
“So, let’s get it started!”

Continue…