Rainbow Dash and Flaky in: Dimension Jumping

Twilight Sparkle sat in her library, reading a book, as her friend Rainbow Dash walked in the door. She took off her saddlebags and set them on the end table by the door.

"You wanted to see me, Twilight?" asked Rainbow.

"Indeed I did. I made a new discovery, and, seeing your obsession with 'being awesome'..." Twilight began.

"Hey! It is not an obsession! It's a hobby," interrupted Rainbow angrily. Twilight rolled her eyes.

"... I think you'd enjoy this. Watch!" she said and cast forth a spell from her horn. A pink field of light appeared in front of the duo. A picture of an office in ruins was made fully visible inside it.

A woman who looked to be in her late twenties in a white and orange jumpsuit had a white gun that had an orange and a blue sack of liquid on the back of it. She fired it at a patch of white on the high up wall, producing a circular blue field of light on the wall. She fired the gun and another formed below her, but it was orange. Both fields opened to reveal a view out of one thru the other. She jumped thru the orange and ended up on a platform.

She re-fired the blue light field at a distant slope, and jumped off the platform into the orange light field and went flying at a certain room. The room contained broken televisions, moldy desks, rolling chairs, and a control panel with a bird's nest on it. Inside the bird's nest was a bird pecking a potato battery. The potato battery began to speak.

"Oh hi. You're - ow - good at murdering things, why don't you - ow - murder this bird for me? You put that idiot in my body, and he has control over the entire facility. Unless you are willing to saw your own head off, and stick it in the machine, I suggest we... ugh, work together. No tricks, this potato only creates 1.1 volts of energy, I literally don't have the energy to lie to you." it said in a robotic female voice. The woman shooed the bird and set the potato on her gun. Loud cranking noises could be heard, and a button sprang forth from the bird's nest. A loud cranking could be heard. "Oh, thanks. What did you... wwwooaahhhh... Does this dual portal gun have an electrical charge? Nevermind. It must have magnesium in it."

The light screen faded and returned with another image.

Three young boys stood in the middle of a cul-de-sac. One was short, with a flat head that had three strands of hair coming from it. He wore a yellow shirt with a magenta stripe horizontally cutting thru the middle.

Another was of medium height, wearing a black beanie that slightly resembled a sock. He had on a red t-shirt.

The last was the tallest, with outward wall eyes. He had on a red and white striped shirt with a green coat unzipped over it.

The one with a beanie spoke to the shortest. "Eddy, the children finally accept you, why try to scam them?"

"Clamp it, sockhead. I'm not scamming them. I'm going to earn money the old fashioned way," said the shortest, Eddy, apparently.

"You're going to get a job?" asked the one with the beanie, expectantly. Eddy shook his head.

"You're going to harvest the souls of the mortals and return them to the massive alien overlord?" asked the tallest. The other two boys shot him a glance. "It happened here, in Tales Of The Evil!" he said and pulled a comic book from his jacket. The beanie wearing one snatched it.

"Ed! I've told you about these comics! They rot your brain!"

"Aww... But Double D!" complained Ed. Double D made a zipper out of his mouth.

"Shut it, you two!" complained Eddy. "We... Are going to volunteer at the local animal shelter!"

"A, that's working, and B, volunteering doesn't pay," corrected Double D.

"B, they are, and A, we won't. I've done it before. You just sit around petting animals," said Eddy. The others looked skeptical, so he added: "They have chickens."

Ed popped up. "Chickens! I love chickens! Oh, please Double D, may we go?" he got down on his knees and made puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. But I'm doing actual work!" settled Double D.

The picture faded and went to a robot with blue eyes and a gray body was pounding his head next to a green alien with no ears, antennae, and red eyes sat in a room. A giant painting of a green monkey was mounted behind them. A television was displayed in front of them. A picture of an irate monkey came onscreen. The robot stopped pounding his head and paid attention to the screen.

"Ooh, it's the Angry Monkey Show!" he said and stared at the picture for a couple of minutes. The alien became impatient.

"How long does this go on?" he asked, irritated.

"Thirty minutes. Now shhhhhhhh," commanded the robot. A knock on the door came.

"Gir!" yelled the alien. Gir jumped up and saluted, eyes flashing red.

"Yes sir!" Gir said in a deeper voice.

"Door!" the alien commanded as he put in contacts to make his eyes look human and put on a wig. Gir put on a zip up green dog costume, with a sewn on mouth with a felt tongue sticking out.

A human boy was at the door, with a camera in his hand. He had on a pair of night vision goggles, and his zig-zag hair pulled back.

"Dib!" shouted the alien, recognizing his arch-nemesis. He pointed a finger at him.

"Zim!" shouted back Dib. "I'm going to find proof you're an alien!"

"There is no proof!" shouted Zim. He started a slapping match with Gib.

The picture faded out again, to reveal a man in a full red and black jumpsuit in a room with a blind old woman.

"What do you suppose I do today, Blind Al?" asked the man. Blind Al looked mildly shocked.

"You've never asked me that, Wade!" she replied. Wade struck a pose.

"I don't really give a shit! Hyaaa!" he yelled and did a karate kick. He walked out the front door of his apartment and his phone went off.

"Hello, this is Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth, excluding the X-Men Origins Wolverine movie, how may I help?" he said in a low voice. Reed Richards was the Caller I.D., Wade noticed. "Reedy! How're you doing?"

"Fine myself. Look, I was building a ray that would make an enemy have bad ideas, and suddenly a flash appeared and the gun was hot, so I sat down to read until it was time to pick up Sue from her martial arts class. I was wondering if you would watch Franklin and Valeria while I was gone?”

“What about H.E.R.B.I.E.?”

“Well, the one that’s supposed to baby sit is…”

“Missing?”

“Yeah.”

“Probably needed in another story arc. What about Benjy?”

“Off with She-Hulk, Ant Man, and Medusa.”

“Rawr. She-Hulk. The Future Foundation?”

“All children by this point.”

“Power Pack?”

“Alex is in the Future Foundation, Julie graduated from Avengers Academy, I think, she might be still taking classes, Katy is… well, I don’t know, and I don’t know about Jack. Friday’s in the shop, and Kofi is back on Kymellia, and that’s it.”

“Okay, I’ve worked with Katy and Friday, I have a vague understanding of Kofi… but who the hell are Alex and Julie?”

“Zero-G and Lightspeed.”

“Okay, got Lightspeed… but…”

“Powerpax?”

“Ah! Powerpax!”

“Yes. Now, will you do it?”

“Do I get paid?”

“By the hour.”

“Make it half an hour. I charge five dollars per it.”

“Fine.”

“Do I get to shoot things?”

“If you’re lucky. I have to go now. You get over here.”

“Haulin’ ass! El eight are."

"Did you just..." *beep*

"Shifty elastic band."

The picture wavered to show a blue anteater with glasses and a pen protector, a green squirrel that had a lazy eye and was covered in candy, a green bear wearing army gear, and a deer wearing mime clothes in a library.

"Now this one I find most peculiar." said Twilight.

"Peculiar?" asked Rainbow.

"Strange. If you have a weak stomach, you have been warned. But you have to watch."

The mime began to sharpen a pencil very squeakily. The army bear walked up to him, and pulled out a machete. The mime looked very scared, but the bear sharpened his pencil with it. Frustrated, the army bear plopped down behind a desk. The squirrel and the anteater crept towards the door, and pushed it open. Much to their dismay, it set off a fire alarm. The bear pupils shrank and bulging veins popped from his head. He grabbed two sharp pencils and jumped on the ceiling.

The anteater was running around frantically. Still attached to the ceiling, the bear shoved the pencils thru the back of his head, impaling his eyes. The bear began to laugh insanely.

The squirrel started for the door, but the bear knocked him out with a book. When the squirrel came to, his hand was in a pencil sharpener. The bear began to turn the handle, and the squirrel was ground up into meat and blood, leaving only a stray hand.

The bear walked up to the mime deer and took a piece of paper. He cut the deer’s eye with it, then began to cut him to pieces with more paper.

A nervous red porcupine with dandruff walked up to the desk with a book. The still insane bear stamped it with the squirrel’s leftover hand. The porcupine screamed and fainted.

Rainbow Dash threw up off to the side. Spike began to clean it up, accompanied with many rassum frassums.

“Sorry. But watch. No more violence for now!” promised Twilight.

“F-f-fine…” Rainbow decided and looked up. The characters stood in their positions, as if frozen, then regenerated and left. Now all that inhabited the library was an orange monkey that had on a robe with four red dots on his forehead and a panda with a baby. “Woah.”

“It would seem everypony here is… invincible. I watched this world for a while now. They die in various ways. Impossible ways. For instance, a pink chipmunk put on a wet sweater in the sunlight. The sun shrank it and popped her head off. Or a bear dad had his bear son stuck in a sink, so he pulled it out with his truck, taking the wall with him. The wall followed his truck down the street and splatted that red porcupine you saw a bit ago,” went on Twilight. Rainbow felt nauseous.

“Why are you telling me all this?” she asked. Twilight ignored her.

“They each have ironically cute names. That anteater was Sniffles. That squirrel was Nutty. There’s a yellow bunny named Cuddles, and that chipmunk I mentioned earlier is named Giggles. That porcupine’s name is Flaky, see, because of the dandruff. I know this because I can access all the information about each dimension.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” repeated Rainbow.

“You will be visiting these worlds.”

“What?! NO!”

“I was worried you would be too scared. All right. I’ll send myself.”

“No, no! I’m not s-scared…”

“Then you’ll do it?”

“Well… what if I die in the animal world?”

“You won’t. I will be sending you in a different way. You can interact with them, just not physically.”

“Alright… Alright…”

“In each dimension, you should collect two inhabitants.”

“Why?”

“I… can’t tell you now. Oh, take these!”

Twilight threw her three metal pieces with a meshed tips on each.

“What are they?”

“They are magically enchanted. You stick this end in your ear, and into this end. I can talk to you, you can talk to me. The other two are for the two inhabitants you pick up. You ready?”

“Yes.”

“Very well. You will be going to this world now,” Twilight pointed to the animal world. Rainbow gulped. “According to my readings, it is named Happy Tree Friends.”

“What was that about irony?”

(cue theme)