The Nightmare Before Hearth's Warming Eve

"Alright, so what's first on our big list of doom, Spike?" Twilight said, turning towards him as the group near town center began to disperse.

"Uhh... you have the list, Twi," Spike said, lifting an eyebrow.

"Oh uh... heh, right," Twilight chuckled nervously to herself, levitating a small parchment out of her travelling bag, bringing it before her face, and reading it over. "Right... says here we need to find a ghoul named Rainbow Death. Apparently, she's the newest grim reaper."

Spike's eyes widened in delight. "Oooo, far out! We get to meet the new Death?" He then quirked an eyebrow. "What happened to the old one, though?"

A beat.

"Oh uh... he died," Twilight said bluntly.

Spike blinked. "Oh."

"Yep."

"Wow... I didn't know Death could do that..." He then gave a chuckle. "I totally want to see his hedge-stone now, though. 'Here Lies Death.' Thanks, captain obvious!"

"Yuh huh," Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "But yeah... the ghoul who was singing was named Rainbow... where did she ge to off to-"

A voice then called from behind her, Twilight quickly turning to meet a certain grinning, black-eyed figure.

"Heyo! Someghoul need somethin' from me?"

"Er, yeah," Twilight smiled, waving. "Hi, I'm Twilight Soulshard, and this is Spike."

"Hey there," Spike said, smiling. "It's an honor to meet you."

Rainbow squinted slightly upon seeing him, quirking her head. "Hey... I know you. Aren't you the bone dragon who charges the portal to the other side every year?"

"At your service," he winked.

"Heh, then the feeling's mutual," Rainbow smiled.

"Anyway," Twilight butted in. "Are you the same Rainbow who happens to be the new grim reaper?"

Rainbow smirked slightly, chuckling. "What gave it away? Was it the scythe?" A cocky grin then overtook her smirk. "Or am I that famous already?"

Twilight cleared her throat. "Well uh..."

"We didn't really know there was a new grim reaper until like five seconds ago," Spike said bluntly.

"SPIKE!" Twilight hissed.

Spike sulked his head slightly. "Hey! Sorry... I'm just saying..."

Rainbow gave a tremendous frown. "Oh, what the heck!? I break all the soul reaping records and there isn't any recognition?!"

"Soul reaping records?" Twilight said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah!" Rainbow beamed, before giving an evil chuckle. "I'm officially the fastest reaper on record! I can get souls out of the ole' body and to the golden gates faster than you can say 'oh crap! Why did my pulse just stop?!' I'm glad, too. I mean who wants to stick around in their bodies too long after they die!? Pfffft... boring!"

"That's why... ya gotta go fast?" Spike asked.

Rainbow's grin returned. "Darned straight. Let me spell it out for ya!"

She then took a deep breath, still grinning, before singing:

"Gotta go fast!

Gotta go fast!

Gotta go faster faster faster-faster-faster!

Reaping at the speed of sound!

Send those bodies in the ground!

Got yourself a decapitation?

It's time for eternal relaxation!

Without any hesitation,

You'll be glad if you're in for cremation!

Don't blink!

Don't think!

Just go go go go-gogogogogogo-"

"OK!" Twilight shouted, taking a deep breath afterward as Rainbow paused, a goofy smile on her face. "I'm happy for you! And for the souls you reap... But uh... have you been advised on what the grim reaper's job is on Nightmare Night?"

"Huh? Other than scaring?" Rainbow asked, quirking her head, her smile still on her face.

Twilight shook her head. "During Nightmare Night, it has been statistically proven in the official Big Book of Deaths and Morbidity that heart attacks increase nearly fifty-five percent. That... could be sort of a problem. Therefore, it's the grim reaper's job to revive people if they suffer any ghoul-related ailment."

Rainbow's eyes widened. "What?! Are you serious?! That's just- that's just unnatural! Ugh, it sounds like something some sort of necromancer would call for-"

Twilight narrowed her eyes. "I am a necromancer."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "And that explains it." She then turned to Spike. "Let me guess, she brought you back from the dead, didn't she?"

"Actually, no," Spike said, shaking his head. "Unless she's a time traveler. I'm about two thousand years old, not even counting my time as a regular dragon. Getty up, younglins'."

Death's jaw dropped. "Woah... and you don't look a day past decomposition!"

"Heh, thanks," Spike chirped, smiling brightly.

Twilight then raised a suspicious eyebrow. "So yeah... you are going to carry out the-"

"Yeah, I'll carry out this stupid task," Rainbow growled, glancing away from her with her arms folded. "They didn't say anything about this in the academy... bah! Friggin' bullcrap."

"Right... I'll just... leave you to ponder that," Twilight said slowly, trotting away from her, as Rainbow continued to rant.

"Next thing you know they won't let me sing 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Death' when I escort souls! Like death is a bad thing... hmph."

At that, Spike caught up to Twilight.

"Haha, I like her," he smiled, fluttering by her side. "She seems pretty... feisty."

"Yeah... feisty is one word for it," Twilight groaned, before pulling back out her list. "Alright, we're supposed to find someghoul named Applemoon next... apparently, she's primarch of the biggest werewolf family here."

Spike raised a curious eyebrow, a large throng of voices singing something nearby, as Twilight continued to ponder.

"Hmmmm... now where could we find them?" she said, scratching her head.

Spike chuckled slightly, prodding her, before pointing in a particular direction. "Open your ears, Twi."

Twilight lowered her eyebrows, before glancing towards a large pack of were-ponies who were moving merily through town, singing:

Aaahoo!

Werewolves a'thunder!

Aaahoo!

Werewolves a'thunder!

Aaahoo!

Ya hear him howlin' around your kitchen door,

Ya better not let them in,

Little old lady got bit late last night!

Werewolves a'thunder again!"

"Perfect!" Twilight chirped, scurrying over to them and standing in front of the same ghoul with the cowgirl hat she had seen from earlier. The group of werewolves halted in their treks, their yellow eyes gazing upon her with a mix of mistrust and curiosity.

"Er, hi," Twilight said sheepishly. "I'm looking for a ghoul named Applemoon. Do any of you know her-"

"Howdy, pardner. That'd be me," the one in the cowgirl hat spoke up, smiling merrily. "What can I help ya with?"

"Oh, uh- I'm Twilight Soulshard. I've been sent by Nightmare Moon to uh... help prepare for Nightmare Night. I was wondering if I could have a word with you for a second."

"Mmmm... I dunno," Applemoon said, yawning, and glancing towards a particularly foggy night sky. "With that fog n' everything, I'm feelin' mighty tired without the moon on me. Could it wait until the lighter evenin'?"

"Well... I was hoping to get er' done now," Twilight said, smiling brightly at her choice of words.

The group of werewolves glared at her.

"Oh uh..." Twilight said, gulping. "I mean... lasso it in now!"

The glare continued.

"Not even a necromancer could revive this dead situation," Spike muttered to himself.

☼☼☼

Somewhere else in Edeathstria, Bloodfang made a drum and cymbal crash on his drumset.

"Hahahaha! I'll be here all eternal night," Nightmare Moon grinned, standing beside him. "So, what's the deal with zeppelin food?"

☼☼☼

Back in Terrorsville, Twilight winced as twenty yellow, glowing eyes pierced her. "Oh shoot..."

"Easy there, y'all," Applemoon said, glancing at them with a bemused expression. "She's just new in town n' tryin' to fit in." She then turned back to Twilight. "That right, sourcube?"

Twilight quickly nodded. "Y-Yeah, very new. In fact, I come from Necropolis," she stated.

"Mph... big shot city slicker comin' to call the shots, huh?" a particularly large werewolf said, scowling. "I heard ya talkin' to the lil bone dragon earlier. We don't need no leader, ya hear? We're good on our own!"

"Keep it cool, Big Mac," Applemoon chuckled, before turning back to Twi. "But is it true? Were you sent to lead us?"

Twilight blinked. "W-Well... I'm under the princess' orders. You see-"

The group of werewolves gave a terrific cackle.

"This little thing's gonna be callin' the shots?! Hahaha! Next thing ya know a vampire might actually win an arm wrestling competition with one of us!"

"Yeah! Like Big Mac said, we don't need a leader! Why don't ya head back to yur big fancy city and leave the scarin' to us!"

Spike narrowed his eyes. "Hey, come on! It's not like she's being smug about it! Give her a chance!"

"Er, yeah..." Applemoon said, turning back to Twilight. "Listen, sourcube... my family's just tired..." She then leaned close to her, whispering, "N' you know grouchy lycan can be when they're tired... why don't we put this meetin' off til later, alright?"

At that, Applemoon nodded to her family before leading them away towards a massive, rotten apple farm on the far side of town.

"Wait!" Twilight called, her horn beginning to glow a bright purple. "You said some moon light would energize you, right?"

"That n' a good whiskey, maybe," Applemoon said, turning back towards her and nodding.

Twilight's eyes narrowed. "Then let there be light!" she roared, a massive sheet of purple shooting out of her horn and piercing the fog above, making a massive hole for the moon's light to peak through.

The group of werewolves seemed to be awe-struck, their eyes widening, before slow, relaxed smiles began spreading over their faces.

"Hehe, well I'll be. Looks like our town's got a regular magician," Applemoon smiled, basking in the light of the moon. She then nodded towards Twilight. "Alright then, I'll hear ya out. Watcha got to say to me?"

Twilight took a deep breath, smiling warmly. "Thank you. So yeah, first thing is, how many of your kin do you think are going to be going through the gates this year..."

☼☼☼

"Alright! That went smoothly," Twilight beamed to Spike a good half-an-hour later, who nodded back. "Now, we just need to find a ghoul named Pinkie Slice."

"Pinkie... Slice," Spike said, smirking. "I'm liking the sound of her name."

"Ooooo, ya do?!" a voice chirped from behind Twilight, her immediately twirling about to face the fedora wearing, completely furless, burnt ghoul from earlier. "Hehehe... oh yes," she cackled. "New meat..."

At that, she pivoted about, before galloping away, insane laughter following in her wake.

Spike and Twilight sweat-dropped. "Well... that was awkward," the former said.

"I suddenly feel very unsafe," Twilight said, before smiling brightly. "IT'S SO WICKED!"

"Hehe, and this is why I love ghouls," Spike smirked. "Well uh... I guess she'll catch up with us later, who's after her?"

"Probably the leaders of the vampires, hmmm?" yet another voice called from nearby... though this one was significantly less playful and twenty times as cold as Pinkie's.

It came from a strange looking black wolf, him dressed in a black minister's robes, with a blue snowflake-like cross hanging from his neck. On his head was a large padre's hat, two blue, glowing eyes shining beneath it. For some reason, Twilight felt a surge of coldness overtake her as he drew near.

Twilight quirked an eyebrow his way, before giving a somewhat awkward, though friendly smile. "Uh... actually, you're right. How did you-"

"Just a lucky guess, darlin'," he said in a similar, though thicker accent to Applemoon. "Games of chance are my thing, ya see."  He then took a step closer, a curious smile crossing his lips as his eyes pierced through her. "And you... are Twilight Soulshard. How's my luck holdin' out?"

"Uh... so far so good," Twilight said nervously. "Do I know you?"

"Fraid' not," he said, frowning. "Though a lot of things cross my path as I travel."

"Travels..." Twilight mused. "Are you part of the Church of the Damned? A travelling priest?"

A wicked, toothy grin crossed the wolf's face. "You could say that..." He then began stroking a large sash of fur hanging' off his chin that might as well have been a beard. "I am here to... help the wicked souls of this town if I can. Keep the fear of god in them so they don't get any bad ideas during Nightmare Night."

Twilight nodded slowly, lowering an incredulous eyebrow. "Right... I see."

"Hehe, maybe I should be a bit more formal," he smiled, before taking another step towards Twilight and whipping an old, rusty guitar out of nowhere. Somehow, the broken looking strings on it could be heard decently as he began playing a few, wicked chords. Finally, a moment later, he started to sing in a rancid, though somehow soothing voice:

"Please allow me to introduce myself...

I'm a man... of very sharp taste.

I've been around for a long, long year.

Kept many a soul from the flame.

I was round when the lady of light,

Clashed horn with the lover of night.

Made damned sure that they all felt,

The cold of a winter's bite.

Pleased to meet you,

Can you guess my name?"

"Mmmmm.... Tenderpaws," Spike said, scratching his chin. "Wait! No! Make that Cuddlewolf!"

The wolf smirked. "Hehehe... I like a dragon with a sense of humor. Gotta keep it up in that long, sleepy existence of yours right?"

"Y-Yeah," Spike said, lifting an eyebrow.

"Still what's puzzling you is the,

Nature of my game, am I right?

Stuck around in Stalliongrad,

When the bodies burned and stank,

Cus there the ponies call me General,

Someone's gotta keep em in rank.

I shot blanks,

At the founders' flanks,

As the blizzards raged,

And they winced in shame.

Pleased to meet you,

Can you guess my name?

Still what's puzzling you is the,

Nature of my game."

"Err.... yeah," Twilight said, backing away from him... slowly. "I think... we'll be going now." She then turned to Spike and hissed, "Quick, before he starts singing again!"

She then began galloping away, Spike quickly catching up to her.

"Hey, easy there, Twilight! It's probably just a getup! I mean, a crazy priest? That's pretty scary! I was about to guess his name was 'Gregori'!"

"Yeah, either that, or he's actually insane!" Twilight growled.

"Nightmare Moon's insane," Spike pointed out.

"Insane in a bad way, like 'slash slash murder murder' insane!"

"Oooooooh," Spike said. "Yeah, let's go talk with the ghoul who sucks blood instead. Flutterfright, right? I wonder how she'll be..."

"Probably a menacing, bossy type given our luck," Twilight grumbled.

As they galloped away, the priest shook his head and repacked his guitar.

"Hehe... gotta love a ghoul with spirit! Too bad it's a worthless quality here... Pleased to meet you Soulshard, hope you guessed my name."