RvB: Friendship... Sucks.

by Alphadud

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance
Length: 81520

A Red vs Blue fiction, what else?

The Red team and Blue team get some new help, but when a failed teleport sends the new guys, along with Tucker from Blue team and Donut from Red team to a different reality things don’t exactly end well for them. Or do does it?

Side note: This is not exactly a serious project.
This is some what based off season 4 - 5.
Rated T for Teen, Cause you know. Bad language.

Published 2013-01-01 06:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-07 20:59:49 UTC

Teleporters ... Suck

Chatper 1: Teleporters .... Suck

It was another hot day in the Blood Gulch Canyon and both teams had each recently received a new member (Not Donut and Caboose mind you). Let us check in on the Red team first, shall we?

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Red Base)

Sarge, Simmons, and Grif had decided to take the Warthog, or The Puma as Grif keeps calling it, out for a spin to do some, what Sarge called, ‘reconnaissance’. Meanwhile they had left their new teammate at the base with Donut.

“....So you came from where?” Donut asked the new guy.

She was a Flame red Spartan with a new looking set Recon armor. The new guy just grunted in frustration at her new teammate and began to walk off until she remember that she was ‘ordered’ to keep watch. With a defeated sigh she stood her ground and just continued to stare over the plain, boring grass and dirt that was Blood Gulch.

“I already told you...I was a tactic planner and reconnaissance expert. I was everywhere.” She said trying her best not to punch Donut off the building with the magnum she was issued. She had her SMGs clipped to the thighs of her armor, a Plasma Rifle on her back, and quite a few grenades attached to her waist, although she’d prefer not to dent or waste her weapons on a simpleton like Donut.

“Oh yeah......Do you like donut?” He said looking to the spartan again.

“Yes. I like donuts.” She said looking over the hills.

“No I meant me.” Donut replied. The spartan looked to donut before going back to his view of the gulch. “So is that a yes?...I am taking it as a yes.”

‘One day....One day I am going to blow these guys up with a 20 kilo megaton bomb.’ The flame red spartan thought.

“Whats your name again?” Donut asked.

“If I tell you will you shut up!?” She responded angrly looking at Donut through is blank visor.

“...Fine. Yes I will.” Donut replied.

“Like I have told you from day one and every other minutes since then....My name is Roger.” She said looking back over the hills. “Now shut up. And leave me in peace.”

“Alright fine.....Okay this is the last question. How did you get that armor? I mean the color not the style. ‘Cause I asked for a different colored armor and they gave me this lightish red armor.”

Roger just looked to Donut before chuckling. “That’s pink, Donut. And I got this because I was assigned here. My original armor was green, but I rather like this color more.”

“IT’S NOT PINK!! IT’S LIGHTISH RED!” Donut yelled with annoyance clear in his voice.

“Sure...Whatever you say pinkie.”

What Roger failed to notice was that whilst she was talking to Donut, Tucker and Rino were.... Or well Tucker, was sneaking up on them. Rino was just trying to catch up.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Blue base)

(5 minutes before)

“Mr.Assault guy.” Caboose yet again said for like the 100th time. Rino sighed in annoyance.

“WHAT?” Rino growled out as he was busy trying to clean his Needler rifle, which he called “The Impaler”

“Where did you get that?” Caboose said as he pointed towards The Impaler. “It looks funny.”

“This?” Rino asked as he slowly stroked with a cleaning rag. “This I got from a dead alien.”

“Oooh! How did you get it? Did he give it to you? or Did you get it as a gift? Or maybe you... Stole it! You know its not nice to-”

“Would you shut up?” Rino said as he was getting annoyed. “I just took it from him after I stuck a knife in his throat...”

“That works too!” Church yelled from on top of the base.

As Rino was getting more and more annoyed since he could not clean his weapon in peace, he decided to put the cleaning supplies away into a small compartment on his desk. Picking up his weapon, he placed it on his back’s maglock turned around.

“Hey! Forgot to ask, how did you get that armor? You aren’t some freelancer are you? Those people are mean to me.” Caboose said a bit scared.

“Yeah that is a good question Caboose. ” Church said as he looked down the skylight hole to where they were.

“Should’t you keep watch?” Rino asked as he looked up a bit.

“What? It’s not like the reds are going to attack anyways, they have that orange guy, Grif on their team.” Church said back. ‘Fair enough’

“I got this armor aft-”

“THE REDS HAVE A NEW CHICK ON THEIR TEAM!” Tucker yelled with happiness in his voice.

“What?” Both Church and Rino said in unison.

“Is she pretty?” Caboose asked.

“She’s pretty hot man! I’m going over there to ask her out!” Tucker said as he jumped of the base and sprinted away from the other guys.

“What the fuck? Tucker you idiot! RINO GO AFTER HIM!” Church yelled.

“What?! Why me?!” Rino yelled back.

“Do you want to stay here all alone with Caboose?” Church asked “Wait! Forget I said anything!”

“No! I’LL GET HIM BACK IN A JIFFY!” Rino said as he picked up a magnum off the desk and some spare clips plus his trusty Carbon reinforced Combat knife and sprinted out of the base and after Tucker.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Church yelled angrly.

Rino was now in a full blown sprint after Tucker who seemingly had crossed in a few moments just to ask a chick out... As Rino got closer to Tucker they were at the ramp of the red base. Trying to sneak up on them.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Red base)

(Current time)

“Roger! I already said it was lightish red!!” Donut yelled in frustration.

“Yeah yeah....Hey do you hear something?” Roger said turning around to look at the ramps only to see nothing. “Guess not.”

“See! I told you it was a girl look at that body man!” Tucker whispered as he was crouched down.

“WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT!?” Roger said turning around and pointing the gun at the ramp.

“Look what the fuck you did you dumbass!” Rino hissed to Tucker

“Hey not my fault she has sensitive hearing!” he hissed right back at Rino.

“I said who. The fuck. Said that! Get out or I swear to god I will blow you all to hell!!” Roger said pulling out grenade and priming it. “You got three seconds!....3!....2!....”

“MOVE YOU PRICK!” Rino yelled as he shoved Tucker up the ramp

“What the hell man!” Tucker yelled as he got shoved up the ramp in to plain view.

“...Who the hell are you and why were you staring at me....” Roger said putting the pin back into the grenade and pointing her gun at Tucker.

“Hey baby, no need to be so aggressive. We already had one of those here before and trust me, she did not get any of this.” Tucker said as he gestured himself.

Roger just lowered her gun and calmly walked over. “She didn’t huh?...Well I guess she didn’t get to do this...”

She walked right up to Tucker and with grace and calm commanding her steps....She kicked him in the balls and threw him down the ramp. “And they said this armor protects everything.”

“Ouch... Right in the nutter....” Rino muttered as he was looking down the ramp. You could faintly hear Tucker moan and whimper in pain.

“You want to make any remarks on me?” Roger asked as she placed a hand on her hip and glared at Rino through her visor.

“Yeah.... You have to put on some make up.” Rino said coldly. “You look like a fiddlestick.”

“I look like a violin’s bow?” She asked tilting her head.

“Huh? I was meaning you look like a scarecrow that’s named fiddlestick.” Rino replied to Roger.

“That’s all you got? Okay then. Now please take your creep friend and leave.” Roger said walking back to her post before stopping. “Wait.....Your blue!”
She spun around and pulled out her SMGs before pointing them at Rino. Who now was pointing a magnum at Donuts head.

“Oh don’t try anything. I’ve got your pink friend here at point blank range. Do anything and he gets it.” Rino said glaring right at Roger as she spun around.

“Humph. Alright you want to play it that way?” She gently put her guns back onto their places on her legs before walking over to the ramp. pulling out a plasma grenade, pushing down on the ignite function then she turned to Rino. “Kill him, I kill the creep.”

“Oh! That would be terrific!” Rino yelled in happiness. Roger just tilted her head at this, Rino then sighed in defeat “But I can’t just let my teammate die now can I?” he said to himself.

She shook her head and walked down the ramp before grabbing the groaning Blue and dragging him up. “Now take your friend here and leave before I blow us all up.”

She then got a magnum to the faceplate with a signed fuck you on it. And it was all from Rino who had thrown his magnum right at her face and hit spot on. “FUCK!!” she yelled out dropping Tucker and throwing the grenade in a random direction.

“Aha! I have you now!” Donut said as he delivered a right hook towards Rino, but when it connected it wasn’t Rino who was in pain. Something did break though.

“OW OW OW! That hurts!” Donut yelled as he grabbed his hand and fell to his knees.

Rino just stood there looking at Donut. A bit confused of what just happened. Roger had regained her senses and was staring at Donut as well. Then she looked to Rino and just sighed.

“Why do I feel like you and me are the only ones here with any sort of training?” She said while picking up Tucker and walking over to the teleporter.

“Because this Canyon is filled with idiots.” Rino replied as he looked towards Roger who was dragging Tucker towards the teleporter.

“What are you doing with Tucker?” Rino said as he raised a eyebrow behind his helmet.

“I am gonna teleport him somewhere else and be rid of him.” She said pressing a few buttons on the side of the large machine. Electrical sparks came out of the instrument board after a few presses, she assumed that the teleporter was broken, but it looked active. “Well goodbye creepy blue guy I never want to see again.”

Then she threw the Blue spartan into the teleport before it flashed, turning....Rainbow colored?

What she failed to notice was that Rino had picked up his magnum that were on the floor and walked over to Donut who had passed out of pain he gotten from his, possibly, broken hand. and picked him up by the collar and holding him up in the air.

“Well... Off you go!” Rino said as he threw Donut through the teleporter and scaring Roger a bit.

“Aww damn it. Why’d you go and do that?” Roger said sounding more disappointed than concerned.

“Well you see, you thre- Wait a second....” Rino said before reaching back to try and grab something that wasn’t there on his back. You could almost see the rage behind his visor.

“No way.... That fucker! I’M GOING TO FUCK HIM UP!” Rino roared as he ran straight through the teleporter. Roger just stood there for a moment before sighing and looking at the teleporter.

“Stay here and see if I get a reward for getting rid of two blues.....Or try and save Donut.” Roger said trying to weigh her options. “They did say if I failed this task I would have to do something to ‘make up for it’. Fuck that I’m going.”

She took a few steps back before bolting through the teleporter. After a sudden flash the device went back to the same sickly green color it was before.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Canterlot gardens)

(Afternoon)

Twilight and her friends were walking through the gardens trying to find a good spot to put their picnic down. Princess Celestia had decided to reward them for all their efforts by giving them a couple weeks in Canterlot to relax and enjoy themselves.

“Twilight when are we gonna get there?” Rainbow Dash whined as she lazily drifted in front of the group.

“Oh hush up Rainbow. We’ll get there when we get there!” Applejack said while she carried a basket on her back.

They walked around for a few more minutes before stopping in a clear area with a few trees that provided shade. All agreeing on the place, they began to set everything up and started to enjoy themselves until.....

“FUUUCK! MY ARM!” somepony yelled. All being startled by the sudden noise, they looked to each other before running to the sound of the voice. They run through the brush and began to panic when they didn’t find the pony in question. A sudden white flash through a part of the thicket caused them to sprint over to find the owner of the sudden yell.

“What the fuck is this? Its not enough that I get hit in the balls, but now I can’t feel my body!” The strange aqua colored and armored pony yelled as he was sprawled out on the grass.

The small group of mares looked at each other and then back to the pony. His entire body was covered in a strange metal and fabric while his eyes where covered by a golden piece of reflective glass.

“Hello? Are you okay?” Twilight asked taking a step forward. Before she could take another step there was another flash of light and another pony fell on top of the other two covered in the same armor only his was colored pink. And there was some strange object that fell with him.

“Ow! What the hell Donut! Watch were you are landing!” The aqua one yelled. “Hey.... I can feel my limbs again!”

The pink pony groaned and rolled off of the aqua one before whimpering. “I can’t feel my hand.” he said.

“That’s because you don’t have a- What the... Since when were you a horse Donut?” The aqua one asked as he looked at the pink one who was named Donut.

“Um.... I didn’t... Did I?” ‘Donut’ said looking raising and looking at his hoof. “Holy crap I am a horse..... HOLY CRAP I AM A HORSE!!!”

“Calm down! I’m sure its not all that bad I mean loo-” The aqua one said as he streched out one hoof to point at some thing but stopped as he laid his visor on his hoof. “What. The Fuck?”

“Holy crap your a horse too, Tucker!!!” Donut said to ‘Tucker’.

“Holy shit I’m a horse!” Tucker said as he jumped a bit, he got even more surprised when he felt two unknown appendages stretch out from his side

“HOLY CRAP YOUR A BIRD HORSE!!” Donut said pointing a hoof at Tucker again.

The small group of mares looked to each other, silently debating whether to help the crazed, armored ponies out. With a few shrugs, Twilight walked over and spoke up.

“Um... Are you two alright?” She asked walking up to them. They both were silent and looked at her in unison, causing her to feel uncomfortable because of the emotionless helmets they wore.

“D-Did that j-just speak?” Donut said has he pointed a hoof at Twilight.

“That is a she Donut.” Tucker replied. Donut just looked at Tucker who responded “Donut It’s me. Don’t you think I can’t see guy from girl?”

“You mistook me for a girl.” Donut quietly said trying to sit up. He somewhat succeeded by rolling onto his stomach, but was still struggling to use his fore hooves to push himself up. “I think my hand is broken.”

“I think its called hoof now...” Tucker said as he brought up his own fore hoof in front of his visor.

Twilight was about to say something else until another voice was heard. Only this one was angrier. MUCH angrier.

“PINK GUY! YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD!” It yelled. Donut shot up without even thinking and began to, Strangely, run away, not even caring about his hoof anymore.

“OH SHIT!! I DON’T LIKE PAIN!!” He said as he ran through the brush. Before anyone could say something a large bipedal creature wearing the different style of armor and a different color which one would describe as Deep sea blue, burst out of the brush and ran past them without even looking.

“Uh! New guy! Your gun is here!” Tucker yelled at the bipedal creature who skidded to a halt and turned around. It menancingly walked up to Tucker and grabbed him by the collar before bringing him up to his visor.

“WHERE?” It spoke out in a deep rage filled voice. All the girls slightly whimpered and took a few steps back while Fluttershy had passed out.

“Just over there! Christ calm the fuck down!” Tucker said as he pointed a hoof to a strange looking purple stick with pink spikes poking out the top. He then got dropped by the creature who walked over and picked up it slowly and inspecting it.

“I swear to god, If that pink fucker put so much as a-” it began.

“You should really be nicer.” Another voice said as another one of the creatures walked into view. This one was about the same height, but it’s armor was different and slightly slimmer. It was also a bright Flame red color. It was also holding Donut like he was a puppy. “By the way....Why are our teammates ponies?”

“Oh It’s you... I thought you were back at Red base.... Wait did you say ponies?” The creature said standing up and looking to it’s red counter part.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Can’t you see that Tucker is a hu-” he began as he pointed and looked to Tucker whom was inspecting the large wings on his back. Then something unexpected happened.

The Blue creature started laughing, in fact he laughed so much that he collapsed and rolled around on the grass.

“What’s so damn funny?” Tucker asked the creature.

“The fact-” he snorted out between a laugh “-that you are a miniature horse! With wings!”

“I think they are adorable.” The red one said patting Donut’s armored head..

“I know you could not resist the Tucker, baby.” Tucker said as he looked at the Red bipedal one.

“I said I liked Donut. Not you, ya creep.” The red one said. You could almost feel the glare the she was giving from behind the visor.

“YAY! She likes me!” Donut announced happily and then looked at Tucker.. “Damn...I forgot I can’t stick my tongue out in a mask.”

“I never said I was a girl...” The red one said.

“What!? B-but...” Donut sputtered out.

“My name is Roger isn’t it?” ‘Roger’ said.

“Yeah and my name is ‘Mclovin’.” Tucker said being sarcastic.

“Are you saying I’m a lying?” Roger said looking to Tucker.

“You can’t trust a Red.” The bipedal blue said as he now had calmed himself and was standing.

“Yeah whatever Rino said.” Tucker said as he nodded his head.

“Well then you all can go to hell.” Roger said to the Blue pony and creature.

The situation was starting to get out of hand and Rainbow Dash was becoming impatient, so she decided to take action. She flew out so all both the ponies and creatures could see her and yelled.

“Alright what the buck is going on here!?”

“Rainbow darling! Language!” Rairty said stepping out as well.

The bipedal blue or ‘Rino’ as he was called by Tucker was leaning against a tree while the red one or ‘Roger’ was still holding Donut in her/his arms.

“So are you a girl?” Donut finally said as he looked up at Roger.

“....Yes. I am.” Roger finally said. Donut did a small hoof pump while Tucker yelled out.

“I fucking knew it!”

“What.... The fuck?....” Rino said in disbelieve.

“Yeah..... Do you think a man could have an ass this good and still pull it off in 3 inch steel plating?” Roger said shrugging.

“You.... You.... You...” Rino kept repeating.

“What? Does the big, strong Blue have a crush on little miss Red?” Roger said. Even though her face was covered you knew she had a massve shit-eating grin on her face.

Rino then pulled out a strange L shaped object from his thigh and pointed it towards Roger.

“There is no way you are a fucking girl.” Rino said still in disbelieve

“Oh put that gun down. I think I would know if I was a girl or not. Besides why is that so hard to believe?” Roger said.

“Yeah! I can’t see her face and I believe she is a girl.” Donut said as he shifted a little in Roger’s grip.

“There... Is... No way... A girl beat me... In combat.” Rino stated

“Oh, really? Does that make you less of a man?” Roger said taking a step forward.

“No fucking way, I’ll beat you up right fucking now if I have too.” Rino said as he took a step forward way from the tree he was leaning on.

“Oh, come now. You wouldn’t hit a woman would you?” Roger asked innocently as she gently put Donut down and took a few more steps closer.

“You are really fucking getting on my nerves here...” Rino said as he walked forward and was standing directly in front of Roger.

“I am? Well then... I guess I shouldn’t do this..” She gently placed a hand on hand on his that was holding the gun and lowered it while taking one more step to get right in his face.”...Should I?”

“Do what?” Rino asked with venom dripping of every word.

“This...” Then she wrapped her arms around him and gently giving him a tight hug.

“W-Wha?” Rino asked as he dropped the L shaped object to the ground

“Aw... I give you a compliment and I get kicked in the nuts, he points a gun at your head and you give him a hug? That’s bullshit.” Tucker said throwing a hoof in their direction.

“Firstly you are a creep. Secondly you are not as handsome as this guy.” Roger said not breaking the hug.

“W-Wha? I... Uh... Uh..” Rino started.

“What cat got your tongue?” Roger asked Rino innocently. Rino the gently pushed her off and picked up his gun, he then walked back to his tree and slumped against it all whilst being suprisingly quiet. “I think I broke him.”

Tucker took a look at his teammate and walked over to him or well... crawling in his case since he could not figure out how a four legged creature walked. When he got to Rino he gave him a light tap on the waist a few times.

No response.

He tried hitting him harder.

Again... No response.

“Yeah, you broke him. He usually punches me when I start poking him when he’s sleeping.” Tucker said a bit afraid.

Twilight just walked over to Donut and tapped him on the shoulder. “Um excuse me. But what is going on?”

Donut turned to Twilight and tilited his head. “Well... You since Spartans can’t take off their armor as often as they want they can’t do any type of intimate actions like kissing. So a hug is like the a kiss for us.”

“Donut, I’m not sure if you are really dumb at the moment.... Or if you forgot to read your armor manual.” Tucker said as he pressed a few buttons on his neck. There was a hissing noise and steam that blew out of the neck plates then he gave the helmet a light tug. It slipped right off to show a grinning aqua colored pony with black eyes and a black short mane. “See. You can still remove the armor.”

“B-but sarge said if I ever removed my armor it would blow up!” Donut said confused. Roger now crouched in front of Donut and said.

“You do know that Sarge is just screwing with you right?” Roger said. “Here. let me show you.”

She placed her hands on his helmet before pressing a few buttons and giving his helmet a slight tug before the same hissing and steam came out. Then ever so slowly removed his helmet.

“See? No explosion.” Roger said standing up so everyone could see Donut.

He was a Pink stallion who had a short hazel brown mane and light brown eyes which were confused.

“B-But.... That means Sarge lied to me...” Donut said with tears building up in his eyes. Roger knealt down again and picked up the pony like he was a child and hugged him.

“Ah it’s not that bad. They lied to me too.” Roger said soothingly.

“This is so fucking unfair. First Rino now Donut?” Tucker muttered as he shook his head dissapointed and sad.

“Well, like I said you are a fucking creep.” Roger said as she apparently had heard what Tucker muttered about, but right as Tucker was going to answer Roger they heard a faint snore coming from a tree.

All three of them looked to see that Rino who slumped against the tree had now fallen asleep and was lightly snoring.

“Well.... That explains why he wasn’t moving.”

Twilight and the others had heard enough and just wanted to figure out what was going on. Twilight took the pleasure of asking the same question everyone of them were thinking.

“Excuse me, but can somepony please explain what is going on!?” She somewhat yelled.

Author's Note

Oh, a skyrocket in word count.... yay!
Dont expect it to change again... Word count might varie from 2k to 7k
Min probably will be 2k just so you know.

Royalty and Questions .... That suck (edited a bit)

Chapter 2: Royalty and Questions .... That suck

Everyone, Pony and human, looked to Twilight as she finished yelling at them. Twilight was panting slightly because of her little outburst, but quickly regain her composure. Even Rino, who had fallen asleep, awoke as Twilight yelled.

Roger looked to Twilight and then to the small group behind the purple pony. Then looking back to Twilight she finally remembered a very important question that probably should have been asked in the first place.

“Where are we?” Roger said taking a quick look around.

“It doesn’t look like we are in Blood Gulch that’s for sure.” Rino spoke up.

“Noooo Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Tucker said. Donut on the other hand... Erm hoof, had found one of the few joys of being a pony. His tail.

“Get back here you!!” Donut said as he spun in a circle in a attempt to catch it.

“Donut.... What the hell are you doing?” Tucker asked as he tilted his head and giving a questionable look towards Donut.

“I am trying to catch this furry thing attached to my ass!!” Donut said in frustration as he glared at the twitching appendage. He leaped at it again before running in more circles.

“Unless you are a complete dumb ass.... Which I really think you are right now... That thing, like you said, is attached to you’re ass.” Rino said as he relaxed against the tree he had slumped against. He put his hand behind his helmet and let out a happy sigh. “This place at least has some shade compared to Blood Gulch.”

“Yeah... It’s much better than that hell hole of a canyon.” Roger agreed.

“I just don’t see what’s so fascinating about your tail, Donut.” Tucker said as he looked at his own. “It’s just a tail.”

“You got one too!” Dount said as he pointed a hoof at Tucker’s ass. Which happened to have a tail on it.

“Yes. We are ponies. Ponies have tails, Donut. You should know this.” Tucker said slowly. As he switched his gaze from his own tail to Donut.

By now Twilight was getting angry from being ignored and was beginning to fume in frustration. She took slow, calm deep breaths. Then as she began to say something before she was quickly interrupted again.

“Yeah.... You don’t see me crawling on four legs now do you?” Rino said as he looked at Tucker. You could almost see that he was grining behind his helmet.

“Hey! Shut up! It’s hard to stand and run on four legs! Especially if you were a bipedal human for about ooooh I don’t know.... You’re whole life?” Tucker said to Rino as he tried to walk away from him, but ended up crawling forward. “God damn it, why is this so hard?”

“Wait Tucker! I have an idea! Come over here and I think I can help us walk properly.” Donut said standing up without falling down. Before Donut could take a step towards Tucker he let out a yelp of pain and fell to the ground. “Oh yeah. I broke my ha-... Hoof.”

“How did you break your hoof!?” Roger said in confusion.

“Probably because he has such a weak skeleton. He broke it by putting enough pressure on it.” Rino said with a small chuckle.

“Noooooo shit.” Roger said with so much sarcasm that it was dripping off and forming small puddles under it. “I meant how he broke it. Not how his skeleton sucks.”

“I have a great skeleton! I just don’t drink a lot of milk.” Donut said sitting up with his right hoof held up, so he would not hurt it more. “Also I think it was when I tried to punch Rino, was it? Yeah.... When I punched him.”

“Ah..... Well you have to give him points for trying to at least fight back.” Roger said as she looked to Rino.

“He barely made me feel anything, his punch felt like someone just tapped me on the armor.” Rino said back

“Still.... He at least tried.” Roger argued.

Twilight was already used to being interrupted, but being ignored was something that she did not easily handle. She cleared her thoat and yelled again.

“WILL SOMEPONY PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION!?”

Tucker jumped at Twilight’s little outburst and Donut got scared and hid behind Roger’s legs.

“Holy shit lady, calm down!” Tucker said as he held a hoof against one of his ringing ears. “Damn these things are sensitive.”

“I’ll calm down when I know what is going on!” Twilight yelled again. This was the point that Fluttershy had regain consciousness and had walked up to Twilight.

“U-um..T-twilight. I think t-that you sh-shouldn’t be yelling at them. They might get angry.” Fluttershy said barley over a whisper into her friend’s ear.

There were some faint music coming form somewhere and since Tucker had no better thing to do he tried moving his ears a bit and found out that he could direct them in different directions. He pointed one ear to the right and heard the music come from there, so when he looked there he saw that Rino still was slumped and leaning against the tree with the hands behind his helmet, but now he apparently was so bored that he had decided to listen to music.

Roger glared at Tucker who just pointed his hoof at Rino as innocently as he could, which was pretty damn easy to pull off with his new body. Roger walked over to Rino and tapped on his visor with one of her fingers.

“Helloooo, paging Mr. assault guy, Mr. assault guy are you there?” Roger said as she was tapping on his visor.

Rino just waved a hand dismissively as he kept chilling under his tree. Roger shook her head and placed a hand on the ‘chin’ of her helmet as she thought. She got a evil idea and walked around to the side of Rino before saying.

“Oh ho, your not gonna ignore me that easy.” She then took it upon herself to sit into his lap and throw her arms around Rino neck before giving him another light hug.

“What the fuck Rino!?” Tucker yelled out in jealousy.

“H-huh? W-why are you sitting on my lap?” Rino asked. You could almost feel the embarrassment irradiating off from Rino.

“Oh nothing. Just making sure you can’t ignore me.” Roger said tapping a finger against his visor again.

“This is still so fucking unfair!” Tucker yelled as he looked at Rino and Roger. “How come Rino gets all the chicks?!”

“Because he is not a self proclaimed ladies’ man that has no good looks.” Roger said with a matter o’ fact tone.

“You know what fuck you bitch! I don’t need you!!” Tucker yelled as he furiously hit the ground with his hoof. “OW FUCK MY HOOF.”

“That apparently can’t punch something without hurting himself.” Roger added. “Also have you guys not noticed that we aren’t alone?”

She pointed to Twilight and her friends before returning to hugging Rino.

Rino however turned off his armors speakers and yelled inside his helmet “WHY DOES ALL THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!” before turning the speakers on again.

“What was that?” Roger asked Rino. “It doesn’t matter. We probably should find out where we are and what the local flora and fauna is like.”

“Eh... Y-yeah sounds great.” Rino said awkwardly looking away from the woman who was sitting in his lap.

“Well what are we waiting for? Come on big guy!” Roger said getting off and holding out a hand to Rino. Who reluctantly accepted the help.

Now that he was on his feet again, he started to walk over to Twilight, but before he got there Roger slipped her hand in to Rino’s. He looked at her hand for a while before asking

“What are you doing?” A bit confused.

“You looked lonely.” She stated plainly. “So I thought I might give you some company...”

“You do realise that we are on different teams?” Rino stated looking up from her hand and in to her visor.

“So?” She asked without really caring about what he was implying.

Rino just sighed in defeat and said “Come on, lets just find out where we are already.”

“Yes. Let’s.” Roger said happily.

They walked up to Twilight and her friends before standing completely still. Since they were Spartans they were slightly taller than the average human, but that didn’t change the fact that Twilight and her friends were only about 4 and half feet tall. Twilight was already slightly angry from being ignored, so she forgot about the creatures towering height and walked up to them.

“Would you please answer my questions now!?” Twilight asked frustrated.

“OH MY GOD! WOULD YOU STOP TALKING SO LOUD?!” Tucker yelled from a few feet away. “Better fucking put on my helmet again.”

Rino just looked at Tucker as he put his helmet back on his head.... Albeit with much difficulty. Rino felt like laughing his ass off right there at his friends difficulty of doing a simple task as putting a helmet back on. Right before he was gonna laugh at Tucker, Roger pulled him closer to her and said.

“I would save your laughter for later. If you know what I mean.” Roger said with a weird tone before gently letting him go. She looked to Twilight and smiled behind her visor. “Alright Strange purple unicorn., we will answer your question. But in return we some of our answered as well. Deal?”

Rino just looked at Roger in confusion and saw that Tucker finally had gotten his helmet on and was wa-... eh... Crawling over.

“How the fuck do you walk?!” Tucker said as he was crawling towards Rino.

“Hey don’t ask me! I’m a human!” Rino said back with a huge grin behind his helmet.

Roger let out a small whistle before saying. “Donut! Here boy! Come here!”

Donut happily obliged and was going to walk over, but remembered that his right hoof was broken. So instead of walking, he limped over and leaned against Roger’s leg when he got to her.

“Having a broken hoof sucks.” Donut said whimpering as he looked at his hoof.

“How the fuck are you walking!?” Tucker yelled at Donut. “This is really fucking infuriating! Maybe I should get Rino to carry me.”

“I’m not carrying you.” Rino said coldy and giving Tucker a glare. “Besides if its so hard-”

“Bow chicka bow wow.”

“You don’t know how much I want to shoot you right now.” Rino said again.

“Please. Please shoot him.” Roger said almost pleading.

Rino’s hand left hand hovered over his magnum before dropping

“I can’t kill him unless he hurts me first....” Rino said dissapointed.

“Right that stupid code they taught us in training camp. Oh well. Maybe we should stop ignoring the unicorn. She looks pretty pissed.” Roger said pointing to Twilight and then clinging a bit to Rino.

“Yes that would be nice.” Twilight said as her eye twitched a bit. “I have an idea that will help us all out. Why don’t we take you to the Princess and you can get your questions and my questions answered there.”

“That seems reasonable. What do you think Rino?” Roger said squeezing his arm to get his attention.

“H-huh? Did ya say something?” Rino said looking at Roger.

“I said does that seem like a good idea? It would help us out.” Roger stated.

“U-uh.... S-sure?” Rino said before looking back at Tucker who kept falling back down as he tried to stand up properly. Rino gave out a small chuckle before looking at Twilight.

“Mind explaining how you stand to this guy?” Rino said as he pointed at Tucker “He’s too simple minded to figure it out himself”

“Fuck you Rino!” Tucker said a bit angry.

“I have a better idea.” Twilight said. Her horn glowed for a moment until Tucker flew by Rino coverwd in a purple glow and hovered next to Twilight.

“What.... The fuck?” Rino said as he looked at Tucker, he then looked at Roger “Am I seeing things here?”

“No, that little purple unicorn definitely has telekinesis.” Roger stated. She let go of Rino and picked up Donut before looking back to Rino. “So he won’t slow us down.”

Rino just nodded at this and then looked back at Twilight.

“Sooo you guys ready to go now?” She asked. Rino nodded again.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Canterlot palace)

(Throne room)

Celestia was sitting on her throne, with her reading glasses on and was reading a newspaper when a guard came running in with a slightly scared expression.

“Your highness! Your highness!!” The guard panted as he stopped in front of the Princess. “Y-you student has...” The guard panted some more. “...Brought two strange creatures...” He panted even more, causing Celestia to have a few dirty thoughts, but she quickly shook them off. “...Into the palace.”

“Yes yes... That’s nice my little pony, you can return to your guard duty now.” Celestia said without taking her eyes off the newspaper.

“Wait.... She did what?” She said as she lowered the newspaper a bit to a look at the guard.

“She...Brought.....” He collapsed onto the ground and just settled for pulling out a scroll. “She.... wrote this...”

Celestia took the scroll with her magic and hovered it over to her then she opened it and read it out loud. The guard took a moment to shakily sit up and pant some more.

“Dear Princess Celestia.... Bla bla bla... Two creatures... Bla bla bla... Uh... Two crazy ponies...” Celestia was really not in the mood for business today, so she skimmed through the scroll. She just wanted to read her newspaper and see what was going on around the world, but noooo. Her personal student who just gotten a few weeks off had to find some mystical creatures....

Celestia sighed loudly and said to the guard

“Send them here. I want to see these creatures with my own eyes.”

The guard nodded and ran out the door again. As he left she heard him mutter. “I can’t believe I’m a messenger, it sucks.”

Celestia took this small time to take one last look at the newspaper before tucking it away. Then she sat there bored out of her mind.... until she heard hoofsteps and arguing. She quickly regained her composure and sat up a bit straighter than before as she had subconsciously slumped a bit.

“All I am saying is that if you thought I was a girl how did you know that Roger wasn’t a boy?” Donut said as the doors where opened to reveal the odd group of creatures and ponies. “Seriously! Her armor is a manly color!”

“Look. You can obviously see that her armor is a bit slimmer than Rino’s armor.” Tucker said.

“Yeah, but you didn’t take that into account when you saw me!” Donut yelled at Tucker, who was still being carried by Twilight’s magic.

“Yeah, but that’s because I was not thinking straight.” Tucker said back defensively putting extra emphasis on straight.

“What ever. Now I know why Roger doesn’t like you.” Donut said crossing his forelegs and huffing.

“Would you two shut up for a few seconds?” Rino said as he looked at the both. “Im pretty sure that you could notice that her breastplate is a bit more... Formed than mine.”

“Oh ho! So you were looking!” Roger said looking to Rino while holding Donut in her arms.

“Eh.... Tucker told me over the radio.” Rino said defensively.

“Yeah... Sure. Knew that you couldn’t resist me.” Roger said swaying her hips a bit at Rino.

“Dude, what have you done?” Tucker asked as he was extremely jealous.

“I have no fucking idea! I threw a magnum at her face and now look where its going!” Rino said extremely flustered.

“Just face it Tucker. Rino is just better with the ladies.” Roger said while Donut nodded in agreement.

You could hear a faint “WHY ME?!” Muffled by Rino’s helmet. Tucker and Roger assumed that he shut off the speakers in his suit and screamed in it.

“What was that?” Celestia asked.

Rino, Tucker, Roger and Donut all looked at the alicorn who was sitting at her throne.

“Wait... She have wings...” Tucker started.

“And a …. horn?” Rino asked himself.

“SHE’S A HORNED BIRD HORSE!” Donut yelled out and pointed at Celestia as he squirmed around in Roger’s grip?

Everyone looked at Donut like he was crazy. “Actually I think it’s a pegacorn....Or a unissus. Or just a horned pegasus.” Roger said looking off in thought.

“How about.... All in the one corn?” Rino said as he was holding his hands in the air

“That is just ridiculous.” Roger said looking to Rino. This is when Twilight decided to intervene.

“Actually her race is called a Alicorn. A combination of all three pony races.” Twilight said in a matter o’ fact tone.

“See! Even the purple unicorn pony agrees with me!” Rino said proudly.

“She said Alicorn. Not ‘All in the one corn’.” Roger said smirking behind her helmet.

Celestia was slightly confused as to what was going on, but nothing that she hadn’t dealt with before.

“Tucker she did say ‘All in the one corn’ right?” Rino said as he looked at Tucker.

“Yeah.... I’m pretty sure she did.” Tucker said a bit hesitant.

“You’re all morons. And Tucker? You’re spineless.” Roger said glaring at Tucker through her visor.

“So that means you agree with us? Good!” Rino said. He then pointed at Celestia and said “You are here forth known as ‘All in the one corn’!”

Then all that was heard that six hooves connected with faces and one hand connecting with a visor.

Tucker just sighed and looked at Rino who was looking triumphant

“You are one big moron sometimes you know that?” Tucker said.

“Thank you! For once something me and you can agree on!” Roger said. Then she took a few steps forward and addressed Celestia. “Hello. I am assuming you are the Princess that your student has told us about non-stop for like the past ten minutes.”

“Oh... She has?” Celestia asked.

“Yes and to be rather honest it was quite annoying, although informative. I am Corporal Spartan #349 code name Roger. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Roger said letting one hand leave donut hanging while she saluted.

Tucker shut of his suit’s speakers and turned on the short range radio and connected himself to Rino.

“Duuude, You two are real soldiers?” Tucker asked over the radio

“Yeah... Why are you asking? I thought you guys were soldiers too.” Rino said after a short while because he had to disable his suits speakers.

“Because last time I checked I was classified as a simulation trooper.” Tucker said a bit surprised.

“So wait... You are telling me.... That.... Son of a bitch.” Rino said with anger in his voice but he calmed him self afterwards.

“The pleasure is all mine Corporal.” Celestia bowed a bit towards Roger just to be formal.

“Oh please I am a soldier. Enough with the formalities. They make me sick.” Roger said as she lowered her hand and supported Donut again, who was on the verge of falling asleep. Roger turned to Rino and yelled. “Hey Rino! Get your arse over here and introduce yourself!”

It took a two minutes before Rino responded “Ehh no?”

“Too damn bad. Get your ass over here before I stick you with a plasma grenade.” Roger threatened.

“Fine...” Rino said as he walked up “Oh but know this... Roger I out rank you.”

“Don’t care. We aren’t in Blood Gulch anymore.” Roger said. You could almost feel the shit eating grin she was wearing behind her visor.

“I swear to god, sometimes you are really coming on to me.” Rino said quietly. Then he went at attention and saluted the princess. ”Assault Lieutenant #665 code name Rino! At your service ma’am!” Rino yelled out.

“Wait your a lieutenant? How the fuck did that happen?” Roger said looking to Rino.

“When you spend most of your time out in the field on the front lines, rank tends to increase quite often.” Rino said.

“Oh and sneaking into covenant battle ships and slitting the throat of the commanding officer doesn’t? That is bullshit right there.” Roger said huffing. Then a guard decided to but in.

“Watch your language around the Princess creature!” He said walking over to them. Roger slowly turned to the guard and just glared. He back down a little bit before lowering his head and whimpering.

“Yeah you better back off bitch.” Roger said before turning back to the Princess.

Celestia stared at the spectacle that just happened and turned to Roger. “May I ask what that was?” She said sounding more curious than angry.

“It’s called domination. It’s were people, and ponies apparently, know not when to fuck with you.” Roger responded sounding a bit more happy than she should have. She then got a playful push from Rino.

“Know your place Corporal” Rino said with a grin hidden behind his mask

“Oh shut up.” Roger retorted with a giggle.

“OH GET A ROOM!” Tucker yelled from behind them.

Roger looked to Rino and shurgged. “Should we?” ‘This should fluster him a bit.’ Roger thought.

“Wh-What the...” Rino could not finish what he was saying so he just shut his mouth and kept looking forward.

“Is that a Ye-?” Roger asked.

“Uh....” Rino said.

“Come on just say the last letter.” Roger said with a playful voice.

“What is going on between you too?” Celestia asked even more curious.

“Oh nothing. Just a simple exchange of ideas.” Roger said happily. “Oh we keep getting off topic. Donut your up!” She said nudging the sleepy pony in her arms.

“W-wha? What did I miss?” Donut said as he tried to rub his eyes through his visor.

“You need to introduce yourself Donut. Your in the presence of royalty.” Roger said pointing to Celestia.

“I am?” Donut looked at Celestia and smiled. “Wow.... She’s pretty. I like the golden things she is wearing. Maybe I should decorate the base with those things when we get back.”

“I told you he’s fucking gay.” Tucker said shaking his head.

“I am not gay!” Donut yelled.

“I think he is metrosexual.” Roger said turning to Tucker.

“That would explain a few of things.” Tucker said.

“So it’s agreed he is metro?” Roger said to Rino and Tucker.

“Negative.” Both of them said at the same time.

“Too bad. Now can we ask you a few questions Princess?” Roger said turning to Celestia.

Twilight and her friends had somehow silently moved past everyone and next to the princess, but remained quiet while they were talking. ‘At least we are going to get some answers.’ Twilight thought.

Just as Roger was going to ask the Princess a question she looked to Rino who was slowly bobbing his head. ‘Again with the music...’ Roger thought.

She smacked the back of Rino’s head and made the ‘Stop the music’ gesture and Rino of course waved his hand dismissively for the second time of the day. She shook her head, Set donut down, and grabbed him by the neck before pressing a few buttons on his helmet and pulling it off.

“WAKE UP!” Roger yelled as she pulled his helmet off and revealing Rino’s face. Which had a scar beginning from just above the left eyebrow and going down to his chin bone. His left eye had been replaced with a cybernetic one cause of a incident in the field. It glowed soft red, he had short black hair and a brown right eye.

“So that’s how you look.” Roger said holding his helmet in her left hand while the right hand was on her hip.

He slowly looked toward Roger and the cybernetic eye changed form glowing softly red to blaring it. ‘It must change color depending on the emotion.’ Roger thought.

Rino exhaled deeply before the cybernetic eye changed color to frost blue.

“May I have my helmet back?” Rino asked calmly.

“That depends. Are you going to listen to music again for do I have to crush it? Your not the only one with Cybernectics.” Roger said as she set the helmet down and grabbed her right arm. She twisted it in the wrong direction and pulled it off. “Can’t use explosives that well with out a tool kit and well...”

She put the arm back on and a few tools popped out of the fingers. “I always have one with me.”

She did not notice that Rino had picked up his helmet and had a cleaning rag in his hands and slowly stroking his helmet with it..

“I think your a bit too military. You need to lighten up.” Roger said as the tools retracted back into her fingers and turned back to Celestia. “May we begin with our questions now?”

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

After about 20 minutes of continuous back and forth questions just about everything had been answered. Where they were, where they are from, how they got here, ETC.

“So are we all cleared up on everything?” Roger said as she was sitting down scratching Donut behind the ears. He had taken off his helmet because it ‘smelt bad’ and fell asleep from boredom.

“I believe so!” Twilight said happily as she looked over the mountain of notes she had collected.

“Good. Now there is one last question I need to ask.” Roger said looking to Celestia. “Do you have a place we can stay for the night?”

Rino who had nothing else to do during the whole ‘question time’ had started training. Currently he was at thousand push-ups before going in to a thousand sit-ups

“Show off.” Tucker muttered as he was laying down on the ground next to Rino

“940.... 941.... 942...” Rino was muttering to himself. Roger had tried to avert her gaze from Rino but constantly found her gaze going back to the training soldier.

“Anyway. May we have a place to rest for the night?” Roger said looking to Celestia.

“One thousand.” Rino said before standing up and flexing his arms a bit. He had attracted the attention of Twilight and her friends as well as some of the female guards in ther room.

Rino looked around the room and notice the increase of female ponies and how they were all staring at his arms.

“What are you all looking at me for?” Rino asked confused. He had just taken off his arm plates so his arms were showing.

Tucker just faced-hoof and glared at Rino. “You have to be fucking kidding me.”

Rino just looked at his comically sprawled out friend on the marble floor. “Actually I trained in Blood Gulch a few hours ago and I didn’t see anyone staring then.”

“You really are a moron.” Tucker muttered.

Rino just shrugged and started taking off his breastplate... But before he got halfway through Roger came up to him and said.

“Let’s save it for the bedroom okay?” She chuckled and nudged her head towards the ponies watching. The one that was staring the most was Rainbow Dash, who’s wings where at full extent now.

“What... The fuck?” Rino whispered as he saw Rainbow Dash drool a bit. ‘This place is way too creepy.... I can’t believe I’m saying this...’

“I can’t believe I’m saying this... But here is the moment when I miss the peace and quiet of Blood Gulch.” Rino said.

“I don’t know I kinda like it here.” Roger said going back over to Donut and sitting back down. “By the way Princess? You still haven’t answered my question.”

Celestia had taken out the newspaper and started reading it. Again.

“H-huh?” Celestia said as she lowered the newspaper away from her face. “Oh I thought you guys had left.”

“Nice to know you care.” Roger said with sarcasm dripping from her words. “Now may we have a few rooms to sleep in? Just for tonight.”

“You can share rooms with Twilight and the others.” Celestia said as she waved a dismissive hoof.

“Alright then...” Roger said getting up and picked up Donut as she stood up “Uh I forgot to say... Donut needs some help he has a broken hoof.”

Celestia then pointed at a random female guard who was staring at Rino, the pony had a huge red cross on her side.

“Oh.... That’s convenient.” Roger said lowering Donut do the pony could work on him. After about 10 minutes she had set his hoof in a cast and put a sling around him.

“Okay.... Twilight you want to show us the way?” Roger said picking up Donut again. She quickly turned to Rino and said. “You’re gonna have to carry Tucker by the way.”

Rino looked at Tucker and then at Roger and then at Tucker again before he crouched down and took a firm grip on Tuckers fore-hoof.... You thought was going to say the D word huh? You dirty minded fool.

Anyhow, he took a grip on his fore hoof and lifted him till he met his visor with his.

“You owe me fifty dollars.” Rino said.

“What?!”

“Yep. No argue, that or you stay here and sleep on the floor. Your choice.” Rino said as he looked at Tucker.

“Fine.” Tucker said in defeat and got flung over Rino’s shoulder “What the fuck! I cant see anything from here!”

“Live with it.” Rino replied.

Roger chuckled at Tucker’s misfortune and began to walk down the hall. “Are you guys coming or what?”

"Bow chicka bow wow."

Rino sighed and shook his head before looking at Twilight and the others and gestured them to go on. They snapped out of their sleepy eyed stares and nodded before walking ahead of Rino and Roger.

Rino now walked out of the throne room with the others and were now headed for the guest rooms. ‘This night is going to be interesting...’

Author's Note

Well.... I did my best, there might be some errors here and there. Feel free to point them out.

Otherwise I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Relaxing... Sucks badly. (1/2)

Chapter 3 : Relaxing... Sucks badly. (1/2)

As the Spartans and the group of ponies walked down the hallways, they couldn’t help, but admire the art work and structure.... Well one of them anyway.

“Wow these paintings are amazing!” Donut said as he looked at the art work on the wall. Roger looked down to the pony in her arms and shook her head.

“When did you wake up?” She said before looking ahead again.

“Just a minute or two ago.” He said looking up at Roger.

Roger just looked down and smiled behind her visor. “You know your a lot more tolerable now that you’re a adorable pony.” Roger said looking back up.

She looked at a few pictures before looking over her shoulder and saw that Rino and Tucker were both bobbing their heads a bit.

“God damn it. Now he has Tucker doing it.” Roger said frustrated. “I may not be as ‘military’ as that guy, but I know damn well you don’t listen to music in a foreign environment.”

Tucker, who now was on top of Rino’s helmet instead of his shoulder said

“Hey don’t blame the music baby, this guy has actually got a great taste in music.”

“Oh shut up Tucker.” Roger said looking forward.

“At least we can agree that Sympathy for the Devil by Guns ‘n’ Roses are good.” Rino said.

“I like Rise against!” Donut said waving at Tucker.

“Oh shut up, everyone knows you hate Metal.” Tucker hissed.

“Yeah....” Donut said lowering his head.

“Hey Rino, wasn’t Sympathy for the Devil done by the Rolling stones?” Tucker asked a bit curious.

“Yes, but the Guns ‘n’ Roses are much better.”

“Eh, can’t complain that much. I’ve never heard them anyhow.” Tucker said as he kept listing to Rino’s music.

Roger was getting frustrated and just decided to be a hypocrite and block them out with some music of her own. Pressing a few buttons on her helmet, she turned on a her music and turned up the volume. As the song Imma try it out by Skrillex came on she gently bobbed her head to the beat.

She was interrupted by Donut tapping on her helmet. She sighed and turned her music down before looking at him. “Yes, Donut?”

“What are you doing?” He asked with curious eyes.

“I am listening to dubstep.” She said before turning the volume up again. They followed Twilight down the halls for about 5 minutes until finally reaching a set of rooms.

“Okay everypony. We are going to have to share rooms because there aren’t enough .” Twilight said while everyone watched her. She failed to notice that the Human Spartans weren’t really paying much attention, due to the music in their helmets.

You could faintly hear a “Hearts on fire” coming from the helmet of Rino. Then you saw Tucker who was clinging to Rino’s helmet bobbing his head. Roger was just gently nodding her head while Donut was actually listening to Twilight.

“Wait so who are we sharing with?” Donut asked. Then almost everyone of the girls said the exact same thing.

“I’m sharing with Rino!”

Roger flinched and pulled out her SMG at the sudden noise and accidentally put a few new holes in the ceiling, although with the silencer all that was heard was a few ticks and some dust falling.

Donut, Tucker, and Rino all just stared at Roger as she turned off her music and turned to Rino. “That’s why you don’t listen to music. Something bad happens.” Roger calmly stated.

Rino just looked up and and said.

“That was a waste of ammo.” With a huge grin behind his helmet.

“Oh shut up swiss cheese.” Roger retorted.

“Hey, Rino... Is this who I think it is?” Tucker asked with curiosity.

“Yes, Its Freddie Mercury and yes I’m listening to ‘Another one bites the dust’.” Rino answered to Tuckers question

“Also weak comeback there Roger.... You dissapoint me.” Rino said slowly shaking his head with disappointment and the fact that Tucker was clinging to his helmet.

“One of these days..... I’m going to kill everyone....” Roger growled clutching a grenade on her belt. Then she walked over to a random door and opened it. “By the way I am taking this room and I guess Donut is my bunk mate.”

Donut smiled and stuck his tongue out at Tucker before Roger walked into the room with him. Then there was a knock on the door to the guest room which apparently had several guest rooms inside of it and Rino was standing inside the first guest room.

Anyhow, Rino noticed that someone knocked on the door because he had lowered the music volume in his helmet so he turned around and walked over, then opened the door, and there was a lone unicorn guard standing there and he was carrying some thing very familiar with his magic.

“Mr. Donut forgot his helmet.” The guard said.

“Oh.... Thank you.” Rino said as he took the helmet in with his hands then closed the door.

“What the fuck am I going to do with this?” He said looking at the pink helmet in his hands.

“Uh, maybe give it to Donut?” Tucker suggested.

Rino just shrugged and was going to walk to Roger’s and Donut’s room but as he turned around he met the eyes of Rainbow Dash.

“The fuck.” He said taking a step back. “Why are you so close?”

“Just admiring the view.” Rainbow said smiling.

“Ooookay.... that’s slightly creepy.” Rino said

“Not only slightly, this is like ‘Mega’ creepy.” Tucker added.

“It’s creepy that I find your mindset to keep fit is admirable?”

“Rainbow? When did you start using big words?” Twilight snickered.

“Shut up Twi!” Rainbow yelled.

“Anyway... How much can you bench?” she said in lower volumed voice.

“720 pounds.” Rino replied a little spooked

Instead of answering Rainbow just dropped to the floor with her mouth agape and wings at full attention.

“S-S-Seven..... H-H-H-Hundred.... T-” She fell backward mumbling incoherently before she could finish anything. She was also twitching a little bit while on the floor.

“Right.... Tucker what just happened?” Rino said as he stepped over Rainbow Dash.

“You made a girl from a different species faint dude.... You suck.” Tucker said with a little venom in his voice.

“Well, not my intention... But whatever works.” Rino said as he was walking to Roger’s door. As he walked away he heard a country accent ask.

“Wha’ happened teh Rainbow?”

Rino just shrugged and looked at Roger’s door room. Right before he got to the door he felt some sort of invisible force stop him. He stood there waiting a few seconds before looking down to see a pink pony with the biggest smile ever.... Of all time.

“HI!” she said as she bounced up to his visor level. Rino just blinked and shook his head once completely forgetting that Tucker was still clinging to his helmet.

“Woah! Woah! Dude! Stop with the shaking!” Tucker Said as he clung on for dear life.

Then a small muffled explosion came from Roger’s room. “DAMN IT DONUT! I TOLD YOU TO NOT TOUCH MY GRENADE BELT!!”

Rino sighed and looked down to find that the pink pony wans’t there any more. Right as Rino was going to turn the handle of the door he felt some weird weight on his left shoulder.

“What the fuck? How and when did you get up here?” Tucker asked the pink pony.

“How? I jumped, duuuh.” the pink pony said as Rino turned his head left. “So why do you wear that stuff all that time?” She said tapping Tucker’s helmet.

“Wear what stuff?” Both Rino and Tucker asked in unison.

“This stuff!” The one one said pulling off a metal plate off of Rino’s shoulder. “Why do you wear this all this time!”

“What?” Rino was utterly confused. He had never... I mean like never in his whole life had answer why he was wearing armor in the first place.

“Well?” The pink pony said suddenly wearing Donut’s helmet and still holding Rino’s shoulder plate.

“Christ.... uh...” Rino began

“Why we wear the armor? Because it looks awesome and its soft too... on the inside.” Tucker said before adding “Bow chicka bow wow.”

“Did you just ‘bow chicka bow wow’ yourself?” Rino asked.

“Yes... Yes. I. Did.” Tucker said smugly. Rino just shook his head and took his armor plate out of the pink ones hooves and put it back where it belonged. He then looked at her and saw she still was wearing Donut’s helmet. He blinked once and was going to grab it, but as he blinked she somehow had gotten off the helmet and he had it in his hands again.

He looked at the helmet then at the pony, then at the helmet again. He just shrugged and placed a hand on the handle again.

“Wait what’s your name again?” Rino asked before opening the door.

“I’m Pinkie Pie! Nice to meetcha!” She said as she hugged his head and Tucker.

“YES FINALLY SOME ACTION!” Tucker yelled out in happiness.

“I don’t think getting hugged is a form of action.” Roger said as she walked up to Rino. She had removed the armor from her left arm and her breastplate as well, revealing a simple black sleeveless shirt.

Both Rino and Tucker did not expect this and got their gaze locked at her breast level. Roger just shook her head and smacked Rino across his head with her right, robotic arm.

“Eyes to the visor dumbasses.” She said putting a hand on her hip.

“Ouch...” Tucker said. “That must have hurt.”

Roger walked up and flicked Tucker’s ear with her right hand. “OW!! Don’t do that! These things are really fucking sensitive.” Tucker whined.

“Eh... Donut’s helmet.” Rino said as he held out Donut’s helmet and said “He forgot it in the throne room I think.”

“Hey my helmet!” Donut said as he bounded over and rammed into Rino’s legs. “Ow.... Do I have to really wear this blindfold?”

“Yes. Be thankful I am at least letting you stay in the same room.” Roger said looking down at Donut, who was currently blindfolded.

Rino sighed, and turned around. “I bet she wanted to bunk with you...” Tucker said from on top of his helmet.

“Can still hear you dipwad.” Roger said. Helping Donut off the ground.

Rino just sighed louder and walked into the room opposite of Roger’s.

“Finally some peace and quiet.” Rino muttered as he walked in to the room.

“What was that?” Tucker asked. “Thought you said something.”

“Aaaaand it’s gone.” Rino said painfully. He pried Tucker of his helmet and threw him down on the couch that were in the room and again sighed then he closed the door that he came through.

“Hey! We got a balcony!” Tucker said as he looked out the balcony door.

Then they heard something get slammed against their door before a groan was heard.

“What the hell?” Rino said as he opened the door. He saw Roger holding one of the royal guards by his chest plate with her robot arm and you could almost feel the anger coming off her.

And for the forth time in a row Rino sighed. “Whats going on here?” he asked.

“THIS FUCKER GRABBED MY ASS.” Roger said tightening her grip and crumpling the guards armor. The guard whimpered a little at the sound of his armor bending.

Rino just turned and faced the wall before repeatedly smashed his head against it. “Why...Did …I …Have …To ...Get …Tele...Ported ....HERE?!” He asked himself.

He then took a step back and looked at the giant crack that was formed in the wall.
Now for the fifth and final time, he sighed.

“Alright here, let me handle him then.” Rino said as he stepped out of his room.

Roger glared at the pony cowering and shaking in her grip and growled before throwing him into Rino’s arms and stomping back into her room. “If he does it again. I am going to stick him with a grenade and throw him out the window.” She calmly, as she could, said and slammed her door.
Rino just lifted him to meet his visor and said “Don’t do it again.” Then gave him a punch to the stomach and threw him out the main door. As Rino was done with that he turned around and prepared to walk back but saw that a chess board was out.

“Hmmm.” He hummed to himself as he was thinking. He walked over to the fridge to see if anything was there and surprise surprise he found a beer. How it had gotten there he had no idea, but he took it any ways, he then picked up the chess board and walked back to his room.

As Rino entered he saw that Tucker was sprawled out on the floor. “How the fuck did I get here?” he asked himself.

“How should I know? I was planing on training then drink this beer.” Rino said as put down the beer and the chess board on the table before he started to take of his arms’ armor.

“Wait they got beer?” Tucker asked “Can you get some more so we can get hammered?”

“I’m pretty sure that they only had one but I can check after my training.” Rino awnsered.

“Wait... You already did one thousand push ups... And sit ups. What are you going to do now? Stand on your hands and push yourself up?” Tucker asked

Rino just looked at Tucker and nodded before going back to taking off his breast plate, once he was done with that. He removed his helmet and placed it on the table before starting up some music, he then proceeded to stand up on two hands. Before slowly lowering himself then push himself back up.

As he continued to work out someone knocked on the door again.

“Rino is busy! Go away!” Tucker yelled over the music. Instead the door opened and Roger walked in before crossing her arms and just shaking her head.

“Really Rino? Hand stand push ups?”

“Hey, I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Bow chicka bow wow.” Tucker interrupted.

“I swear to god Tucker. Anyway I was just wondering... Do you know if they have any weights here?” Roger said curiously.

“How should I-” Rino huffed a bit “-Know if they have that? Just use Tucker or something.”

Roger looked to Tucker before shaking her head. “No thanks. I’ll use Donut. At least he won’t be sleazy about this.... Actually... I have a better idea.” Roger said walking out of the room with a unsettling skip in her step.

“What the hell? What’s she up too?” Tucker asked from his position on the floor.

“I have no-” Again with the huffing you know ‘cause hes working out.”-Idea.”

Before anyone else could say another word there was a small scream from the hallway.

“The fuck?” Tucker said as Rino did not give much of a fuck and continued working out.

They soon heard Twilight yell from the other side of the door. “ROGER PUT THAT GUARD DOWN!!”

“What the fuck?” Rino said quickly before doing another push up.

“NO YOU CAN’T KEEP DOING THAT!!.... NO!!.... JUST PUT HIM DOWN!!”

‘What is she planing?’ Rino thought to him self.

There was a loud ‘THUMP’ followed by some clanking before Roger opened up their door again. “I found a nice substitute for weights by the way.” She said and then left back to her room.

“Well that was unexpected...” Tucker said as he looked at the door, which was left opened. “Uh Rino... Stop working out please?”

“Why?” Rino asked as he did another push up.

“Because that creepy horse is staring again....” Tucker said as he pointed a hoof at Rainbow Dash, who was drooling at the sight of Rino.

“What?” Rino said as he looked towards Rainbow Dash and when he saw her, his eyes widened.

“Helloooo again. I see your working out again.” She said smiling again.

“Uh yeeeah? Whats it to you.” Rino said as he stopped doing his push ups.

“Just wondering if I could watch.” Rainbow said more as a statement than a question before walking in and sitting down on the couch.

“Uh... Maybe?” Rino said unsure of himself. But continued anyways. A good 30 minutes later Rino was done with his work out and walked over to the table.

“Hey… Rainbow dash was it?” Rino asked.

“Yeah....” Rainbow said without really paying any attention.

“Where can I find a towel?” Rino asked with out checking the bathroom first. Tucker just face-hoofed at this and pointed at the bathroom.

“In there you idiot.” Tucker said shaking his head a bit.

“Oh... Right.” Rino said a little bit embarrased, but quickly shook it off and walked to get a towel to wipe away the sweat. As he entered the bathroom he checked around and saw that the towels were next to the shower so he thought ‘Eh to heck with it I’m going to shower.’

He stepped inside of the shower not caring about removing his leg armor and turned on the shower and stood there with hot water running down his neck. It felt so good that he had to say.

“Sweet Jesus! This feels good.”

He stood in the shower for at least five more minutes before someone decided to sneak up on him.

“Fancy seeing you in here.” A certain rainbow maned pegasus said.

“What?” Rino said as he turned in the shower. As he turned he saw a Rainbow in the doorway with a rather disturbing smile. “Uh... What are you doing?”

“You said I could watch. So I am.” She said with smug tone.

“BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!” Tucker yelled from the bedroom.

“Wow, invasion of privacy right here.” Rino said, “Mind leaving me alone in the shower?”

“No, I’d prefer to stay.” Rainbow responded. She bit her lip although I’m not really sure why.

Rino who thought he was done sighing for the day, all of a sudden had the huge urge to sigh and kick Rainbow in the face. He was close to doing it, but resisted. But he was very close.

He rubbed his temples before turning to back to the shower’s wall leaned against it. He let out a small yawn before looking over his shoulder, and surely Rainbow was still standing there with her wings erect.

Yeah Rino could not fight the urge to sigh, so he sighed. While Rino was sighing, Rainbow had walked over and hopped into the shower with him. The first reaction Rino had was to yell “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” and have a huge horrified expression on his face.

Rainbow winced and splayed her ears a little at his yelling and said. “Calm down big guy!”

“What are you doing?” Rino asked in disbelieve that she would actually do something this bold.

“Helping you wash off. What else?” She said with a smug grin.

“That smug grin of yours is giving me the fucking creeps... Not to mention that you are in the same fucking shower as me and invading my privacy....” Rino said.

“This is a privacy invasion for your kind?” Rainbow asked tilting her head in curiosity. .

“So what? You share showers with strangers?” Rino asked. “That seems fucking weird to me.”

“Pfft of course not, but we aren’t strangers are we?” Rainbow said taking a step forward.

“I barely know you... And I strangely have the biggest urge to kick you right now.” Rino said.

“Oh really? Well I think I may be able to fix that.” Rainbow said taking another step forward.

“Oh come on!? How does Rino get all the chicks!? FROM A DIFFERENT SPECIES TOO!!” Tucker yelled from the bedroom room.

“Yeah fuck this.” Rino said as he quickly turned off the shower and walked past Rainbow dash. “This fucking place is more fucked up than Caboose when he talks to plants.”

“Aw where you going?” Rainbow slightly whined.

“To drink my beer and hopefully not... Punch you in the face...” Rino said a bit annoyed. He walked out with the damp Rainbow following him and right as he stepped out of the bathroom someone walked in.

“Hey guys to you think I co-” Roger began as she walked in and stopped at the sight of Rainbow and Rino stepping out of the bathroom. “Well..... I can see Rino is getting more friendly with the inhabitants.” Rino’s eye twitched before he yelled.

“SHE IS NOT MY FUCKING FRIEND!”

“Riiiight. Well I was coming in here to ask for a towel as my bathroom strangely has none.” Roger said. “Buuuut I can take a shower another time. Enjoy your time with your ‘Friend’.” Then something sparked in Rino’s brain, you could literally see the light bulb go out next to his head.

Since he was standing in the doorway between the toilet and the door out he quickly grabbed Rainbow Dash and ran to the door before pulling Roger in and throwing Rainbow Dash out and locking the door. He then raised his arms in the air and felt victorious, he walked over and picked up his beer and took off the bottlecap and said

“VICTORY BEER!” Then chugged half the bottle. Roger just looked at Rino through her visor and shook her head.

“May I ask what that was all about?” Roger said facepalming at Rino’s reaction.

“Creepy staring, creepy grining, creepy tone of talking, invasion of privacy, more staring?” Rino said a little bit more calm.

“Tucker? Is it just me or can he not tell when someone is flirting with him? Or in this case trying to flirt.” Roger asked the limp pony on the floor.

“Well he is a moron...” Tucker said before thinking a little. “Or he just prefers his women non-pony.” He added with a smug grin.

“Or he is gay.” Roger said smiling behind her helmet. “Would explain a few things.”

What Roger forgot to check was that Rino was standing there and staring at her breasts before reaching out and squeezing one while saying “Honk, Honk.”

Roger stood still for a moment before calmly taking his hand off her chest and letting it drop. “I let the guard live..... And now I am doing this.”

She calmly walked up to Rino before punching his face as hard as she could with her right arm and sending him into a wall. Then walking over to him, pulled him from the wall and broke the door down with his body.

With a unseen frown she stepped over the body of Rino and opened up her door making sure to hit his head with the corner before walking. “Do that again and I will kill you. Slowly.”

And then she slammed the door.

Rino just laid there thinking ‘What? Just happened?’

Tucker came crawling and said.

“Man she reminds me of someone called Tex.”

Then roger came out again and picked Tucker up by the collar of his Armor and threw him down the hall. “THAT’S FOR BEING A CREEP!!” she yelled before walking back into her room.

Rino just sat up and looking around. ‘Again.... What? Just happened?’

On the other side of door he could he Donut talking. “Um... Roger what’s going on? I still can’t see remember?”

“I kicked Rino’s ass for touching my boobs and threw Tucker down the hall way for being a creep.”

“Awww...And I missed all that?” Donut whined.

“Donut... Your the only one so far that hasn’t pissed me off...” Roger warned.

“Shutting up.” Donut said.

Author's Note

Ah yes.... This will be my first chapter that's split in two...
I hope you don't hate me for it...
Anyhow... I'm still not that very sure if i made a mistake or not, feel free to point them out. Otherwise I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
P.S : First one to figure the movie reference I made get to say one line that I will implement in the next chapter.

Relaxing… .Sucks badly. (2/2)

Chapter 3: Relaxing… .Sucks badly. (2/2)

Rino was sitting in the hallway trying to figure out what had just unfolded.

‘Okay.... list time....
1) I grab Roger’s boob and Honk, honk’d it ....
2) She kicked my ass.....
3) She randomly picked Tucker up and threw him like a football down the hall......
4) She actually got Donut to shut himself up.’ He thought as he sat on the ground.

Rino just sat there looking confused and his cybernetic eye was glowing orange. He looked around and then stood up as he stood up he looked even more confused. He was going to get Tucker, but then we have Rainbow Dash... Who I’m pretty sure would stalk Rino if she got the chance.

So he looked at his door to his room which was on the floor.... He picked it up and leaned it against the wall before walking inside his room and changing in to casual clothes... Which he somehow had brought with him. (The suit’s compartments are rather large actually.)

Once he was done changing into his slacks and a white t-shirt which had a text on it. It read out
“BLUE RULES!” with big blue letters. Rino walked down the hall which Roger had thrown Tucker into.

After a few moments of walking, he saw that a aqua colored pony was sitting with his back leaned against the wall.

“I think she broke my everything, except my head and face surprisingly.” Tucker said quietly.

“Well.... I know one other part that did not break.” Rino said with a grin.

“Wait what?” Tucker said looking at Rino with a confused expression.

“Never mind.” Rino said as he shook his head, he then took Tucker by the collar of his armor and started dragging him back to the guest rooms.

“Ow.... Ow.... My everything ow.” Tucker whined.

“Bah, You will get used to it.” Rino said as he scoffed.

Tucker then looked around and felt something detach from his leg.

“Hey Rino stop!” Tucker said.

“Huh?” Rino said as he stopped and dropped Tucker.

“Ow....” Tucker muttered as he crawled back a bit before exclaiming “Oh sweet! I got my sword with me!” he jabbed a hoof at it before remembering “Ah fuck... How am I supposed to hold it?”

Tucker nudged the sword’s handle before it randomly stuck to the button of his hoof. “Ah! What the fuck!?” Tucker yelled as the sword activated and shot out.

“What the fuck? Where did you get that?” Rino asked a he looked curiously at the sword.

“Eh... Long story.” Tucker said as he waved the sword around a bit and accidentally slicing into a wall. “Uh... Whoops?” Tucker said sheepishly.

“That was there when we got here.” Rino said as he picked up Tucker again. “Wasn’t it?”

“Uh... Yeah.” Tucker said as he deactivated his sword somehow and stuck it back on his leg. “Okay that is kinda freaky... But whatever. It works.”

Rino remained silent as he dragged Tucker back to their guest room after a few short moments they came back to it and the door, had some how been fixed.

“Alright we are here.” Rino said as he opened the door and walked in with Tucker. He then put him down on the couch and went out in to the hall again. He quietly walked down the hall for reasons unknown before reaching the fridge, where he committed the sacred art of fridge raiding.

After a few minutes of rummaging around, he had actually found around ten beers. He had taken all of them and walked back to Tucker and his room. When he got back he stepped through the door with style and said.

“Time to get hammered.” with a huge smirk.

“Hell yeah!” Tucker said throwing a hoof in the air.

He then put down all the beers on the coffee table before unfolding the chessboard on it too.

“Hey hand me a beer!” Tucker said from his seat on the couch. Rino just took a beer and gave it to him, and he some how held it with one hoof.

Rino just shook his head and opened a beer of his own before setting up the chess pieces.

“Why are you setting up a chessboard with pieces?” Tucker asked.

“So we can play.” Rino deadpanned.

“And you expect me to able to play?” Tucker said tilting his head at Rino before taking a chug of his beer.
“If its for ten grand, then yes. I’m pretty sure you would play then” Rino said with a grin.

“Yeah, n- Wait did you say ten grand?” Tucker asked Rino who just nodded “Hell yeah I’m game.”

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Thirty minutes later)

Roger was still in her room attempting to cool off from Rino’s little ‘joke’. She had finished taking off the rest of her armor, revealing a simple set of jeans and s sleeveless black shirt. After she had gotten her armor off and set somewhere safe, she had taken Donut’s blindfold off and threatened to beat him if her stared or tried anything.

“Finally I can see...” Donut said rubbing his eyes and looking to Roger. She had taken off her helmet finally showing her face.

She was a brunet with a set a ash grey eyes. Her hair was about shoulder length and was completely loose.

“Donut what did I say about staring?” Roger warned.

“B-But... You look so pretty.” Donut said whimpering slightly.

“Well thank you!... But seriously, stop staring.” Roger said before walking back to her armor. She stopped and knelt down before grabbing her grenade belt and picking it up. Carefully pulling one a grenade off, she made sure not to pull the pin and inspected it before going to her helmet and playing the song Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold.

At the drums kicked it Roger tossed the grenade in the air before smacking it back up on it’s decent with the side of her foot. Donut flinched involuntarily as the grenade came back down.

“What are you doing!? That’s dangerous!!” Donut said scooting back a little.

“Not if the pin isn’t removed! Besides I have nothing else to hacky-sack. I left my little bean bag back at Red base.” Roger said she kicked the grenade back into the air. After a few more minutes of continuous girly shrieks from Donut when ever the grenade would hit the ground when she messed up and the constant interrupting from Donut when ever she would try again, Roger finally stopped and put the grenade back on her belt before slumping into a chair next to the door.

“Thank you for stopping that.” Donut said as he placed a hoof over his heart which was attempting to pound it’s way out of his chest. Roger just sighed and used her left hand to gently rub the side of her head.

“I swear this place is going to kill me with boredom.” Roger said.

“Oh don’t be like that! I am sure there is something you can do!” Donut said trying to calm himself down and attempting to cheer up Roger. Roger just shook her head, before getting up and turning off her music in her helmet.

“Like what?” Roger said walking back to her chair. Donut smiled and raised his non-broken hoof.

“You could.... Talk to those ponies outside and see if there is something to do.” Donut said. Roger shook her head.

“No thanks. The only thing I think there is to do around here is either train or.... Well nothing else.” Roger said sighing a little bit.

“Well I don’t know about you but...” Then Donut realized something. He looked down and then back up. “... Hey Roger? Could you possibly help me get this armor off?”

Roger stared at Donut for a moment before saying. “On a few conditions. One: If you make any sort of move on me, I am throwing you out that window. Two: If you bitch too much I am going to beat tucker with your body. Three: When I finish helping you don’t come crying to put it back on in half an hour. Got it?”

Donut nodded before Roger got up and walked over to him. She sat on the bed and turned Donut to face her. “Alright let’s se-... Donut... You’re staring again.” Roger deadpanned.

Then before she could do anything else she heard a yell from outside her room.

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” Tucker yelled from somewhere.

“And now I have to go see what dumbass one and dumbass two have gotten themselves into...” Roger shook her head and got up again, much to Donut’s displeasure.

“But this armor smells! And is itchy now!” He whined. Roger just chuckled and said ‘Deal with it’ before going over and knocking on Rino’s door.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! There is no way you can do that!” Rino yelled

“HELL YES I CAN DO IT! Because I just did!” Tucker yelled back. “Wait, did someone knock on the door?”

“I don’t know.... If someone knocked.... The door is open.... Oh and if its Rainbow, STAY THE FUCK AWAY PLEASE.” Rino said.

Roger snickered at Rino’s words and opened the door. She walked in and saw something that was rather strange, considering what she knew about the Blues. Tucker and Rino were just playing chess. ‘Chess.... That is what they are yelling about?’ Roger though then she saw the beer bottles that were standing on the table.

“What the hell are you guys doing and where did you get beer?” Roger asked.

“Well, We are playing chess and drinking beer.” Rino said as he held up a open bottle. “Cheers.”

“No shit, did you forget that your helmet is blaring music too?” Tucker said as he looked at Rino.

Tucker had taken off his helmet to drink with Rino.

“Are you guys drunk?” Roger said pointing to the two babbling Blues. “Cause I am not going to be responsible for you two when your asses are kicked out of here for doing something stupid.”

“I’ll just blame it on you.” Rino said before taking a chug of his beer.

“That’s smart... Why didn’t I think of blaming everything on Donut?” Tucker asked himself before somehow grabbing his beer bottle and taking a chug all with one hoof.

“Yeah, I am just going to ignore the fact that Tucker is somehow breaking the laws of physics by doing that and tell you two... That if I end up getting pulled from a warm bed in the middle of the night because of something you have done.... I am going to make Rino eat Tucker. Alive.” Roger threatened. “You don’t want that do you?”

“Bow chicka bow woooo- wait. That’s gay. In loads too...”

“Bow chicka bow wow.” Roger said smirking before turning to leave.

“Hey fuck you bitch! That’s my line.”

“Shes probably still pissed off that I grabbed her boob.” Rino said. “But hey not my fault it looked like it wanted to get honk’d.”

Roger held up her hand and flipped off the two before walking over and flipping the chess board. “How’s that for a ‘fuck you’?”

“What the hell! I had ten grand on this game!” Tucker said.

“Well now it’s a draw.” Roger said smirking at Tucker. “Now I am leaving before I get dragged into something that will inevitably end bad.”

“Psst, hey Tucker. Grab her ass.” Rino whispered to Tucker.

“Are you trying to get me killed?” Tucker whispered back. Instead of getting a answer Rino grabbed Tucker’s fore-hoof and Steered it in the direction of Rogers ass who had turned to leave. After a few short milliseconds it connected, Rino quickly let go of Tucker’s hoof and retracted his hand.

Roger stopped dead in her tracks before slowly turning to see what Tucker was doing. “Tucker?....”

Tucker just looked at Rino then at Roger. “What the fuck man.”

“I am going to kill you.” Roger finished before whipping around and grabbing Tucker by the collar of his armor and lobbing him through the door of their guest room like he was a baseball. Then she turned to Rino. “By the way. I heard everything. Your getting hurt too.”

Rino just sat there with a huge grin on his face. “That’s the second time you broke down our door. Keep this up and we will get thrown out.”

“Worth it.” Roger said before grinning sadistically. She grabbed Rino’s shirt and threw him at Tucker.

Somehow, Rino still held his beer bottle up straight. Not a single drop of beer had been spilled.

“That was close.” Rino said as he stood up.

Roger walked over and smacked the beer out of his hand before punching Rino through her guest room’s door and scaring the unholy crap out of Donut. Then turning to Tucker she grabbed him by the ear and dragged him down the hall, waving as she past the ponies she met earlier.

“Owowowowowowow! Not the ears!!” Tucker whined.

“Shut up.” Roger said before lifting him, but before she could do anything she felt her self get spun around to meet the eyes of Rino. Then she felt something connect with her stomach, she lost all the air she had in her lungs for a moment before falling down to her knees and dropping Tucker.

“You broke my fucking beer and it was still half full.” Rino growled.

“You made Tucker grab my ass. I’d say were even.” Roger said before using her robotic arm and smashing he fist into his right leg and giving him one hell of a charlie horse. “Now at least.”

Rino just stared at Roger for a while before saying. “I never noticed that you had taken off your helmet.”

“Really? I was literally looking at you for 5 minutes until Tucker was too weak to resist you.” Roger said finally getting up holding a hand over her stomach. “You pack one hell of a punch by the way.”

“You were? I can’t seem to remember that time...” Rino said.

“That is because you're drunk Rino. You're drunk.” Roger said patting the side of his face with her right hand. “Please throw Tucker out the door while I walk this off.”

“Eh... Noooo, You know. You look really pretty when the room is spining.” Rino said.

“Well thanks... Would be more flattering if you weren’t shit-faced. The charlie horse will kick in when you begin to move.” Roger said walking away.

“I’m pretty sure that it’s the head trauma...” Rino said as he grabbed his head he held his hand there for a few second before feeling some warm liquid against his hand.

“Oh great, I’m bleeding. Bah it’s only a flesh wound.” Rino said before picking up Tucker.

“Do you need some bandages?” Roger said looking over her shoulder. “I am sure that nurse pony is somewhere nearby.”

“Uh, sure... Hmm I wonder.... How many grenades do you got left Roger?” Rino asked.

Roger smiled a large smile. “Many Rino. Many. More than I bothered to count.” She said as she stood up a bit straighter and coughed. “Why do you ask?”

Rino just looked up at the ceiling, before looking at Roger again. “I was planning on going on a fishing trip at late midnight.... I saw a pond in a park not far from here.... It was filled with fish.”

“Don’t you think that is a bad idea? I mean those might be ‘royal’ fish.” Roger said walking back to her door which had been somehow fixed.

“Bah! If they have fish, its ment to be fished! And besides, can’t you follow? I’d like some company. Aside from Tucker.... And all the other ponies.” Rino said abit awkwardly.

“Oooh. Do I hear admiration coming from the great Rino? I am honored!” Roger said with a dramatic tone before opening up her door to see a cowering Donut under the bed. “Maybe Rino. Maybe. Stop being drunk and then ask me.”

With that final word she walked into her room and gently closed her door. Walking over she pulled Donut out of his hiding spot which he promptly grabbed her waist shaking like a leaf.

“G-g-ga-a-int m-man b-b-broke t-the d-door down.” Donut stuttered. Roger looked down at Donut before prying him off and putting him on the bed and laying down herself.

“I am going to sleep Donut. Try anything and I will make giant man come back.” Roger said before yawning. Donut just curled up and laid next to Roger before passing out from stress.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Five minutes prior to Midnight)

It had been almost two hours after Tucker and Rino had gotten their chessboard flipped and had nothing else to do. So Tucker decided to take a drunken nap.

Now Rino had no one to talk to, nor drink with and most of the booze that he had in his system were to low for him to get a proper buzz on. He currently was sitting on the couch, and looking at the table.

“What to do? What to do?” Rino asked him self quietly. He then looked to his left and saw that Tucker was sprawled out on the bed with his armor on. He sighed and stood up, he then looked at the balcony. He walked up to it and opened the door quietly. He was immediately met with the cold night air when he stepped out on the balcony.

He looked up in the sky and saw that the stars were out and there was a full moon. He then looked out toward the glimmering city of Canterlot. Of course he had no idea what the city was called since he had listened to music instead of listening to the ponies and Roger ramble on.

He sighed and leaned at the hand rail. He was so damn bored that he could actually think about jumping over the rail to see if he could fly, but he decided against it since he left the last untouched beer in the room. He walked inside and saw that Tucker was now on the floor instead of the bed.

“What?” Rino asked himself out loud before shaking his head and walking over to the table, picking up the beer. He then sighed and shrugged before quietly walking over to his door and opening it. He quietly stepped out and closed the door.

He looked at Roger’s room door and walked over to it. He looked at the handle before thinking.

‘Should I? I’m not sure I mean... This might look like I’m trying to get her laid or something... Christ what the fuck am I thinking?’ He grabbed the handle but didn’t turn it. ‘Ah to hell with it.’

He turned the handle, opened the door and realized. ‘Shit... I forgot to knock...’

“Hello?... Who is there?” Roger asked sitting up in her bed.

“Uh... Me.” Rino said quietly.

“Oh... What do you want?” Roger said laying back down.

“I was wondering... Uh.” Rino said awkwardly before coughing a bit. “I can’t sleep and I was wondering if you um... wanted to take a walk with me?” He said before awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“What?” Roger said sitting up and looking to Rino. “Why is your eye pink?”

“H-Huh it is?” Rino said embarrassed. “Damn it... I’ll just leave now.”

“Nah it’s alright. I’ll come with... Just let me get up.” Roger said stretching before standing up and walking over to her armor and grabbed her grenade belt. “Always be prepared right? Okay let’s go.”

She walked over and gently pushed Rino out the door and gently closed it. “So... Where to big guy?”

“Uh... this way.” Rino said as he turned and walked to the main door, before quietly opening it and looking out. He looked left and right before stepping out. “Come on.” he said quietly motioning Roger to follow him.

She followed him out the door and just sighed. “I don’t think we have to be very quiet. You know why?”

“Uh no?” Rino asked.

Roger just smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder before they both began to disappear from view. “That’s why. Active camo rules.” Roger said smiling. “Now lead the way.”

Rino turned and was going to walk away but Roger grabbed his hand before that.

“This again?” Rino asked.

“Hey it’s easier. Besides I’d rather not get caught by those guards. I am not exactly on speaking terms with them.” Roger said snickering.

Rino just shrugged and smiled a bit before quietly, even though Roger said that they could be louder. Running down the hallway. After weaving through a maze of hallways they found themselves at main room. You know the room you enter in?

Anyhow as they got there Roger asked Rino something.

“How did you know where this room were?” she asked a bit curious

“A man has got to know the way to freedom. Its in his instincts.” Rino said dramatically.

“Or we could just do this...” Roger said pulling Rino over to a nearby window. Then she began to pick up a little speed and jumped through the window with Rino in tow. “GERONIMO!!”

They both crashed through the window and rolled on the ground before standing up.

“Well.... That works too.” Rino said as he tilted his head with a huge grin on his face. “This way.” Rino said as he motioned Roger to follow him for the second time.

“I am holding your hand... You don’t need to continually give me hand gestures.” Roger deadpanned before grinning.

Rino’s eye switched from being blue to pink before quickly switching back. He then led her through the court yard which happened to have a lot of weird statues in it. Roger pointed to one in particular and whispered.

“Hey look at that mix and matched one!” She pointed over to the discord statue.

“Hmm? What...” Rino gave out a quiet chuckle before asking “What do you think it is?”

“Well there is a plate on the base of the statue.” Roger said poiting to it. “Come on! Let’s go see what he is!”

“Sure.” Rino said as the walked over to it. They read the plate which were on the statue.

“Hmmm.” Roger hummed. “Lord of chaos huh? Welp, what better offering than one of these?”

Roger carefully took a grenade off her belt and put it on the pedestal Discord was frozen on. “Good on ya, mate.” Roger said before smiling.

Rino looked at the beer in his left hand and was thinking how it was not broken before looking up and saw Roger looking at him curiously.

“What are you doing?” Roger asked.

“H-Huh?” Rino said as he hid the bottle behind his back. “I’m just thinking of how pre-” he coughed a bit. “How pretty you are in the moonlight.” He said awkwardly

“Oh really?” Roger said nudging him a bit. “Are you sure that’s not the booze talking?”

“Y-yeah... I’m pretty sure...” Rino said looking away from her because the awkwardness were killing him.

“Well thanks then. Your not that bad to look at either.” Roger said smiling.

Rino grinned and started walking toward the main gate dragging Roger with him. Roger just went along with it, although she could of sworn she heard that statue snicker as she was dragged off.

When they got to the main gate Roger asked

“How were you planning on getting through this? Blowing it up?” She said looking at the huge steel gate. Rino just shook his head and pointed to a lever that had a sign above it that read out ‘Open gate’

“Well that’s convenient. And kinda stupid.” Roger said thinking over why they would just have a lever to open some massive gates.

“Eh... What ever works for them, works for them.” Rino said as he flashed a toothy grin before trying to make Roger let go of his hand. “Uh mind letting me go quickly?”

“Hmm? Oh sure sure.” Roger said letting go and Rino’s camo faded him back into sight while Roger was still invisible.

Rino quietly walked over to the lever before looking around and pulling it. It took a few seconds before the gate started moving. All of a sudden it started screeching.

“Ow... They really need to oil the hinges.” Rino said as he held a hand up to his ear. Roger just smiled and walked through the gate. Then she whispered.

“You might want to hurry through.... I hear a pegasus coming.”

Rino’s eyes widened at Rogers words before he ran through the gates and passed Roger.

“Hey Rino! Get back here!” Roger said running over and tackling him. As they both landed on the ground the active camo cloaked them both as the pegasus landed a few feet away.

“What made this impudent noise? Whom disturbed our nightly flight of our night sky?” Rino and Roger heard someone say. Roger leaned down and whispered.

“Don’t. Make. A. Sound.”

Rino just laid there on the ground with Roger on top of him.

“BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!” Tucker yelled from the guest room. Roger flinched causing the camo to blink for a second before whisper yelling.

“Does that little creep have a sixth sense or something!?”

“Uh... Maybe?” Rino whispered his thoughts were though disoriented but one thought kept coming back ‘The sexual tension is killing me!... Wait no... BAD BRAIN. BAD!’

“Humph! I guess the ruffiains left.” The pegasus said before the sound of wings flapping was heard. After the sound receeded into the night air, Roger got up and helped pick Rino up.

“What was up with that pony’s speech?” Roger asked dusting herself off.

“Must be some sort of... Noble?” Rino guessed. “Or she just have some problems speaking.”

Roger just shrugged before turning off her camo so Rino could see her evil grin. “Now when can we blow stuff up?”

Rino grinned and said.“Soon enough.”

As he turned and walked towards where he saw the pond... Or lake... Now he can’t remember.

“You forgot was it was didn’t you?” Roger said sighing.

“Eh.... No.” Rino said with a unconvincing tone.

“Riiiight.... It’s over there by the way.” Roger said pointing to the pond a few yards away.

“Right I knew that... Just got a bit turned around that’s all.” Rino said as he turned around and walked the way Roger pointed. They walked for about a minute until the pond was in clear view. The funny part was it was on the border for being a small lake.

“Welp.” Roger clapped her hands together and pulled off a grenade before tossing it over to Rino and smiling. “Your up.”

“Wait... I’ve got to ask.” Rino said as he catched the grenade. “What’s up with you and holding my hand? I mean we still are on different teams, just a few hours ago you were trying to kill me.”

Roger thought about it for a second before pulling her own grenade off her belt. “Well.... I guess when we aren’t in situations were we are trying to murder each other, I just kind of forget about the bad things and focus on the good.” She pulled the pin of the grenade and tossed it into the water. “Fire in the hole.”

Then the grenade went off and fish, well bits of fish, rained from the sky while Roger cackled like a maniac.

“Well.... That was deep... By the way you suck on throwing.” Rino said as he pulled the pin and pitched the grenade as a baseball. When it struck the water surface it skipped not once, but twice before landing in the water and sinking a bit then it went off.

Roger once again laughed like a crazy person and then pulled off another grenade. “You think that was throwing? I will show you throwing!”

“Oh! But I’m using this.” Rino said as he flexed his right arm. “And you use cybernetics a bit unfair if you ask me.”

“Who needs a robot arm?” Roger smirked. She pulled the pin and tossed it into her left arm and threw it causing it to skip rapidly across the water before hit the middle of the pond/small lake and exploding. “I had lots of practice while I was getting this replacement.” She smirked and patted her robotic arm.

Rino nodded before picking up a stone with his right arm then saying “Gimmie a grenade.”

Roger looked at him curiously and putting another grenade in his hand. “What are you up to?”

Rino stood there weighing the rock and the grenade before handing back the grenade. “Watch this. See that building over there on the other side.” Rino said as he pointed at a building. Roger nodded. “Now check this.”

Rino backed up a bit before pitching the rock like a baseball. It wizzed by Roger almost like a bullet before a few seconds later embedded it self in the wall of the building.

“Nice.... Very nice.” Roger said clapping. “But I think I have one better.”

Roger pulled off a frag grenade before pulling out another grenade, only this one was blue. Roger tossed Rino the frag grenade before saying. “Toss this in the air. Not to high or else the grenade will go off too soon.”

Rino just nodded and threw it Just a few centimeters above his head and backing up a bit. Roger deadpanned and looked at him before picking up the grenade. “Smart ass. Higher than that. And pull the pin please.” then she handed over the grenade again.

Rino just smirked and nodded. He then pulled the pin and threw it a few yards in the air before backing up. Roger nodded a ‘thank you’ before pressing a button on the blue grenade and lobbing it directly at the other grenade. The blue grenade had a fizzing blue glow around it and met near the frag grenade before going off causing something close to a firework to happen.

Roger yelled out loudly and jumped in that air, fist pumping the enter time. “Yes! It worked! It worked!! Yesyesyes!” Roger said giddily

“Explosive enthusiastic much?” Rino asked

“More then you’ll ever know hot stuff. Now what else is there to do?” Roger asked.

“Well... We could buy some beer or something.... Or we could blow up a fountian....” Rino said as he was thinking “I did not plan this far ahead...”

“Well we can’t buy anything because we don’t have any bits.... And I am pretty sure Celestia would get pissed if we blew up her fountain. It’s bad enough we are killing her fish.” Roger said.

Rino stood there in though before saying. “We could steal...” with a big grin on his face.

“With what disguises?” Roger deadpanned.

“Walk in, Camo, sneak out.” Rino explained.

Roger put a hand on her chin in thought and then sighed. “Fine. But if we get caught, I am punching you in the crotch. With my robot arm.” Roger threatened.

“Ahh! There is the old Red hostility!” Rino said with opened arms.

“And there is the old Blue stupidity.” Roger said grinning. Rino then chuckled and looked around and saw a store open not far away for where they were standing.

“Let’s go get some snacks.” Rino said

“Hope they have something close to Doritos.” Roger said following him. “Wait... Let me get the camo in place.”

Roger pressed a few buttons on her arm and the Camo activated before she waled next to Rino and grabbed his hand again. “Alright lets go.”

“Okay....” Rino said as they walked towards the store and when they got close they saw that the store name was Seven eleven.... Except it was Twenty-four instead of eleven.

“Huh, who would have thought that they had a Seven eleven here.... or Twenty-four Seven.” Rino said.

“Damned pony variations. Shall we go now? I am hungry.” Roger said.

“Sure, let’s rob these suckers blind!” Rino said with a toothy grin.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Thirty minutes later)

Both Rino and Roger were walking back happily to the castle. Both of them had managed to steal what they wanted.

“Can’t believe they actually had booze there.” Rino said happily

“Or something close to Doritos! And Twinkies!” Roger said happily opening a bag that held all their ‘procured’ food items. “Wait.... Should we have gotten something for Donut and Tucker?”

“I already did.” Rino said as he picked up a Toy for Donut. “I’m sure he will love this.”

“Considering him.... Yeah. He will go nuts.” Roger chuckled. “What about Tucker? Dear god don’t tell me you grab him a play boy or something like that.”

“Uh.... Don’t look in the bag?” Rino said as he looked down at the bag. Roger just shook her head and patted Rino on the back.

“At least you were thinking of him.... I guess.” Roger said hesitantly.

“Don’t think I forgot you.” Rino said as he pulled a flower bouquet from behind his back and held it in front of her. The flowers were red roses.

“Awww. You flatter me good sir! Keep this up and I just might think you like me Rino.” Roger said as she took the flowers.

Rino just let out a chuckle and said “Oh... B-but I do like you.” with some hesitation

“Oh really?” Roger said grinning at his nervousness. “Like how much?”

“Uh... Extremely much? I-I mean, we might be on different teams but that dosen’t keep me from liking you...” he said a bit more quiet.

“Okay may I take this moment to say that reminds me of a old earth play.... Oh what was it.” Roger stopped in her tracks. “Romeo and Juliet! That was it! Same thing happened in that story and it ended well!” Roger smiled at Rino before frowning. “Wait... No they died.”

“Don’t we all in the end?” Rino asked himself before holding up a hand in the air. “To die or not to die? That’s the question.”

“Cliche!” Roger said in a singsong voice and nudging Rino.

“Heh, well we should get a move on before we get spotted.” Rino said what they failed to notice was that they were back at the castle entrance... No not the main gate, but where you enter the castle.

“Yeah yeah.... Um.... How do we get back in?” Roger said looking at the large window that they had crashed through. “Or do we use the back door?”

“Back door maybe? It might be closer to our guest rooms... Wait they are still like a few levels up... Nevermind.” Rino said.

“Hmm.... If I had my armor I would do a grenade jump, but....” Roger said as she watched Rino walk up to the door and grab the handle. “Do you really expect the door to be un-”

She got interrupted by Rino opening the door. “Huh, will you look at that... It’s unlocked.” he said with surprise in his voice.

Roger just facepalmed. “These ponies are WAY to trusting.”

She ran up to Rino and walked in with him before closing the door. “Now what? We have no idea where are rooms are.”

“Wait... I thought you listened to where they where?” Rino asked.

“I did.... From the throne room. This is the front door.” Roger explained. “Get me to the throne room then yes, I can get us back.”

“Oh, alright this way.” Rino said as he ran of in a direction. “Are you coming?”

“Bow chicka bow wow!” Echoed through the halls as Rino finished speaking.

“Right.... Yes I am.” Roger said running over to Rino. “Now let’s get going before a guard finds us.”

“Right.” Rino said as ran ahead of Roger. After a few minutes they reached the throne room.

“Alright.... You lead the way from here” Rino said as he motioned her to go on.

“Okay. Come on!” Roger said. She quietly ran down the hall and after a few turns they arrived at the guest room. “See? I told you I could find it.”

“I know you could...” Rino said before giving her a light hug. “Now I will grab the booze and put it in the fridge and you can stash your snacks some where.”

“Like my armor’s compartments?” Roger said. “And when did you get all touchy-feely?”

Rino just shrugged and opened the door quietly and peeked inside to find no one awake. “Alright the coast is clear.” he whispered before quietly going inside. Roger nodded and followed in. They walked down the halls and finally got back to their rooms.

“Alright night Rino...” Roger said winking at Rino before walking into her room and closing the door silently.

“Night...” Rino said as he quietly entered his and Tuckers room before realizing.

“Wait she still has my booze.”

Author's Note

Alright, Pinkies imagination Is now pre-reading for me. From this chapter.

I've made sure that I have little to no grammar mistakes. But, if you find them do feel free to send them. I hope you enjoyed tha chapter.
P.S: I dun goofed on the Movie referance thingy in the last chapter, I really ment the episode. But oh well... I was spoofing "Bow chicka honk honk" from Junior in episode 94 from RvB.

Another split.... Sucks so bad. (1/2)

Chapter 5: Another split.... Sucks so bad. (1/2)

Now that both Twilight and the others (including Princess Luna) had gotten their questions answered. They were thinking of the next move they could make, like to throw them in jail or banish them... Or maybe study throw them in jail and study their weaponry and technology.... Or something like that.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

“So what should we do now?” Twilight asked as she tilted her head a little to the left.

“I say we banish them!” Luna exclamied as she pointed a hoof at Rino’s and Tucker’s door.

At this point Rainbow Dash thought it was a good idea to intervene.

“No! Don’t do that! They have not done any thing bad!” Rainbow said as she flew in between Luna and Twilight.

“Since when does blowing up a lake filled with fish and robbing a store not count as bad?” Twilight asked as she raised a eyebrow.

“U-Uh....” Rainbow spurted out as she went in to thinking mode for a few seconds. “Since now?”

“That makes no sense!” Twilight yelled before putting a hoof in front of her mouth. She nervously looked at both Roger’s and Rino’s rooms before swallowing and giggling nervously.

“That was c-” Was all that she managed to say before Rino burst out of his room. Completely ignoring the fact that the door was locked to keep him inside.

“Alright, who the fuck said that?” He said with a growl.

Everypony in the room pointed at Twilight, who just pointed at Rainbow Dash. Rino ignored everyone and looked at Tucker.

“Get the fuck back in side, I want to sleep... After a beer.” Rino groggily said as he walked out of his room and started half stumbling walking towards the fridge down the hall. When he got to the fridge he opened it and rummaged around in it. After a few short seconds he realized a vital thing.

“Shit, Roger still have all the booze.” He said to himself before shutting the fridge. He stumbled back to where Roger had her room. He stood at the door for a few second before looking back and saw that Luna, Twilight and all of the others still sat there and bated a eye brow at Rino, except for rainbow who was staring for a different reason. He promptly flipped off all of them before trying to open the door.

He soon found out that it was locked but did not give a fuck, in fact he rammed the door twice before it was flung opened with him landing next Roger on the bed.

“Okay Tucker if that’s you, you're not gonna have jugular vain.” Roger said sitting up and looking to her left. “Rino? Why are you on my bed? And laying on top of Donut?”

Rino just moved one of his legs and pushed donut down on the floor. Then he moved his head to his right.

“You actually got my beer and all that crap.... But now I’m too tierd to give a fuck.” Rino said as he moved his head back so he had his face buried in the pillow.

“Well fine, but put Donut back on the bed. If he wakes up on the floor we are never gonna hear the end of it.” Roger said just laying back down. “Huh.... A blue in bed with a Red. Never thought that would happen.”

Rino then sprawled out and some how managed to hug Roger.

“Did you say pick up Donut?” Rino said very groggily.

“Yes... And why are you hugging me?” Roger said more curious than uncomfortable. “But seriously pick Donut up. I don’t want to deal with a pissed off pink pony.... Spartan... Guy.”

“Fukkin teddy bears, so soft... I love’em” Rino said as he was half sleeping.

“Rino, I am not a teddy bear and your still.. Oh forget it I’ll get him.” Roger said groggily as she began to sit up.

“Bleeh!” Rino said when Roger sat up. He let her go and kept sprawling out on her bed.

“Shit... I was here for the booze but I’m sleeping here instead. None of that Tucker snor-” Rino said before he fell asleep.

“Right....” Roger said while shaking her head. She walked over and picked Donut up before walking back to the bed and putting him next to Rino, who promptly grabbed him and mumbled something about a metallic teddy bear. “Now... To sleep.”

Roger then looked out of the door and saw that the ponies still were there... And Tucker was back in his bed sleeping. You could faintly hear him mumble something about “That’s my kid.” Roger just shook her head, and grabbed the handle before nodding to the ponies.

“G’night.” She said before slamming the door shut and walking back to the bed and just flopping face down onto the bed. A few moments later she felt something grab a hold of her again.

“Freakin soft things.... Why can’t I resist them....” Rino spoke in his sleep.

“Rino.... Oh forget it.” Roger said just laying back down. “I swear if he gets morning wood I am going to throw him out the window with a plasma grenade attached to him.”

Roger shifted a bit in Rino’s grip before laying her head aback down on the pillows. She looked at Rino a few seconds before thinking. ‘I wonder...... Should I?.... He is asleep.... Ah to hell with it why not.’

She sat up a bit before moving her face a bit closer to his before planting her soft lips lips on his. At that moment, Rainbow Dash came bursting through the door. At first she was angry but then she had a look of disbelief on her face.

“....... WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?” Rainbow Dash yelled out as she saw what Roger and Rino were doing.

“What does it look like spectrum head?” Roger said looking up at her and smirking.

“It... Ge-.. Yo-.. GAAAAH!!!” Rainbow said before flying out the door.

Roger just sat there with confusion plastered all over her face, after a few short seconds she went back to normal and took of her sleeveless shirt and her pants, leaving her in her bra and panties, which happened to be blood red.

“Why are these room so freaking hot?” Roger said throwing the clothes to the side before laying back down.

“BOW CHIKA BOW WOW!” Tucker yelled in his sleep. Roger just groaned before looking to her left.

‘Why is Rino, so hot?’ She thought before looking at him and biting her lip and slowly falling asleep.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Meanwhile back at Blood Gulch)

Church was standing on top of Blue base looking over the landscape with his rifle as he tried to spot where they were going to come out.

“Where the hell did they go?” He asked as he looked over the hills through his sniper scope.

“Who went where?” Caboose asked Church while looking at him. “I think Rino is in love with that purple thing of his.”

“What? That weapon that is a alien thingy, Tucker’s sword?” Church said looking at Caboose before looking back through the scope.

“No. That big purple thing of his. He carries it on his back and strokes it with a cloth.” Caboose said looking over the hills towards red base. “Do you think that Tucker and Rino will come back?” Caboose gave out a small gasp. “Do you think they got..... Captured?”

“Don’t be stupid, there is no way that they could have been captured..... Or could they have been?” Church said as he lowered his sniper and looked at Caboose.

“I bet they were captured by a dragon.... That is the only way Rino could be captured because he is so tough.” Caboose said looking to Church.

“Don’t be fuckin’ absurd! There is no fucking way the Reds could have a dragon.” Church said as he looked at Caboose with a glare through his visor.

“You never know Church. You never know.” Caboose said looking up into the sky.

Church just kept glaring at Caboose before going back to trying to see if Rino and Tucker were coming back out of the teleporter. That’s when someone shouted from the ground

“Is anyone home?!” A unknown voice.

“Yes!... We are home! Wait.. Unless your a red. Then we are not home.” Caboose yelled back.

“So that means you are here. Alright I’m coming up!” The voice said as he walked around the side of the base and climbed up the ramp. Church looked to the ramp and saw that a Grey with yellow stripes, walked up the ramp.

Church lowered his sniper and turned to face him whilst Caboose on the other hand kept facing forward.

“Hello person!” Caboose said before giving a small wave.

“Uh.... Hi.” The Grey one said. “My name is Agent Washington from Command, I was sent here to get the Soldiers Rino and Roger back. Command sent them to the wrong locations...”

“Oh, Rino is over at the Red base trying to get Tucker and not let him get hurt by the girl.” Caboose said. “Also he says that she is really pretty.”

“Yeah.... But they have not come back yet... I have no idea where they are.” Church said as he looked at Washington.

“I think they got kidnapped by a dragon.” Caboose stated.

“What?” Agent Washington asked.

“They were captured by a dragon! A big, flying, angry dragon that the reds used mind control on!” Caboose exclaimed.

“Caboose shut the fuck up.” Church said. “Anyway, Rino and the the other guys went throught the teleporter and uh.... Never came out again.”

“You said they were having a tea party and then left.” Caboose said. “And then you said I have no concept ‘sarcnisim’.”

“It’s pronounced sarcasm Caboose and you’re a dumb ass.... Wait what do you mean they were sent to the wrong place?” Church asked with a eyebrow raised behind his helmet.

“Yeah, they were supposed to go elsewhere.... Command got their reports and saw that someone had changed for them to go here... Without them knowing.” Wash explained.

“So they were miss.... Placed?” Caboose said almost questioningly.

“Yes.... Yes they were.” Wash said nodding slowly.

“I KNEW IT!” Caboose yelled out.

Church just groaned and said “Come on I’ll take you to the red base. I am going to warn you they aren’t that fucking smart.... ‘Cept for that new guy.”

“Sure, lead the way.” Wash said.

Church walked down the ramps and began to take them to the Red base. After a few minutes of walking and somehow not being spotted by the Reds in their jeep, they finally arrived at the Red base and walked up the ramps. They finally just stopped in front of the teleporter while Caboose kept looking in the sky for a dragon.

“So yeah, this is the teleporter.... I have no idea whats wrong with it.” Church said as he gestured the teleporter.

“This? It dosn’t look like it’s broken or anything... It just glows green...” Wash said as he watched the teleporter.

“Hey Blues! What the fuck are you doing here?” Grif said as he walked up the other ramp.

“None of your damn buisness!” Church said as he turned towards Grif.

“Well it’s our base! That makes it our buisness!” Grif said as he walked over.

“Fuck you! Its our buisness! So that means you can shove it!” Church said as he glared at Grif.

“Yeah well.... Caboose why are you guys overhere?” Grif said quickly while turning to Caboose..

“Oh we are over here because we are looking for Rino and Tucker and that new guy on your team.” Caboose replied.

“What the hell Caboose! You idiot!” Church said whilst looking over his shoulder.

“Oh... They were here? I mean I haven’t seen them, although I do know that Roger is on gaurd duty.” Grif said turned around to look at where Roger was supposed to be. “Speaking of which, where is she? It’s not like she ever disobeys orders.”

“Huh.... I never thought about that.” Church said looking at Grif. “Actually wait! I saw her run through the portal. A while ago.... Like a shit long time ago.” Church said holding a hand to his chin.

“What? She ran through the portal? Why?” Grif asked as he looked at the glowing machine.

“She probably did it because Rino threw Donut through it....” Church said looking at the portal. “What’s it to you? I thought you hated Donut.”

“I do, but she was the only chick here! Speaking of chicks..... Wheres Tucker?” Grif Asked looking past Church and the others.

“Wait, so she really was a chick?” Church asked confused. Currently, Wash was completely lost staring at the green portal.

“Yeah she was. Didn’t you notice how more feminine she looked? Like Donut, but more so. Dude, she even walked more feminine, unlike that other girl Tex.” Grif explained.

“Shit, I never thought about that.... But wasn’t her name Roger? What she trying to hide the fact that she was born a girl?”

“Maybe. Or she just didn’t want all the dudes staring at her ass when she wasn’t looking.” Grif said. “Hey where’s Tucker? I thought he would be all over this place when he learned about a girl being on our team.”

“He was all over the place, but now I have no idea where he is... He disappeared just like that. Good riddance I say.” Church said whilst shrugging

“HE WAS KIDNAPPED BY A DRAGON! I KNOW IT!” Caboose yelled panicking a bit.

They all looked at the teleporter before realizing a thing.

“Didn’t this break once? And stopped working eversince?” Church asked.

“Oh yeah..... Oh shit.” Grif said looking at the teleporter. It gave a sudden flash and changed to the colors of the rainbow for a split second before going back to sickly green.

“Get Simmons” Church said a bit afraid.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Back at Canterlot, Equestria.)

It was morning, birds chirping, that dim fog that appears during the morning and just plainly the sun was just rising. But this day was going to start off badly for a certian, Blue soldier this was going to be a bad day.

He was slowly, waking up and he was holding a woman in only her bra and panties.... and he somehow was only in his boxers.

“Uh... Why am I holding something soft and cozy?” Rino said through a groan. He looked down to his right and saw that Roger had cuddled up against him. He saw that she was wearing only her underwear.... And all of a sudden his face, felt like a Volcano.

Suddenly, Roger started to stir. “Mmmhm... Oh good morning Rino.” Roger said.

“U-Uh..... Why are you in your u-underwear?” Rino splurted out before looking away a bit.

“Oh it got hot in the night so I took them off.” Roger said stretching a bit. “Why? Do you like what you see?”

“S-Stop streching out.” Rino said looking away more with a lots of embarrassment all over his face. “It makes your stuff more visible.”

“I thought that was all the guys wanted to see! My stuff.” She said wiggling at him a bit with a evil smile.

“B-but now you are... Just lying here.... C-close to me... H-Half naked.” He said nervously. “I-I Uh like you and all but... This might be a bit far...”

“Still worried about the whole ‘On different sides’ thing?” Roger said leaning toward him. “But there is one thing you neglected to notice.”

Rino swallowed nervously before trying to scoot back a bit, but ended up scooting in to the wall. “W-What would that be?” He said with a nervous smile.

Roger just smiled even larger and slid up to be face to face with him. “You’re red.” She gently bopped him on the nose with a finger. “And so is your eye.”

“W-What are you t-talking about? …. I-I’m fairly sure I’m blue.” He almost whispered before sinking back down to the pillows.

Roger just chuckled quietly and reach over to her nightstand and picked up her helmet before showing him his face. “You’re red.” She said as she showed him his reflection in her visor.

Sure enough, his eye were pink, which happen to be a shade of red. And his cheeks were red too.

“U-Uh... M-Maybe?” He said glancing at her... Which was a mistake because his gaze went downwards across her body.

“Enjoying the view, Blue?” She rhymed as she leaned down with grinning a toothy grin.

Rino was silent for a few seconds before saying “Yes... I-I mean no!” he said quietly after shaking his head a bit.

“I thought so.” She said moving a bit till she was sitting on top of him smiling down at him. “Do you like the view even more now?”

“BOW CHIKA BO- SON OF A BITCH.... Why am I moving around so much?!” Tucker yelled as he had fallen off the bed. Roger let out a laugh at his misfortune and looked back at Rino. Who probably had a morning wood by now.

Roger of course felt this since well.... both their nether regions were close to each other. She slipped her hands into his and put them above his head effectively pinning him down on the bed.
“U-Uh... Can you let me go?” Rino asked very nervously.

“Maaaaybe.” She said playfully and leaning towards him. “Depends on how you react to this.” she whispered with a sultry voice, before closing her eyes and the gap between there faces and planting her lips on Rino’s.

Rino, of course, was completely dazed. He his eyes just widened as he had no clue of what to do. After a short while she then broke the kiss and then looked into his eyes.... albeit her eyes were half-lidded, you know bedroom eyes.

“So. Did ya like it?” Roger said smiling.

Every cell in Rino’s body told him to not nod.... But his pheromones were all haywire and said, I quote ‘FUCK YOU BODY!’ Which caused him to nod. Very eagerly for that matter.

“Thought so.” Her eyes shifted before she frowned slightly. She leaned down again and whispered. “You might want to go take a cold shower. Heard armor chafes when your like this.”

“Oh.... Ha, ha.” Rino sarcastically said as he looked away a bit, just to get his head turned back to meet Roger’s ash gray eyes... And got a kiss stolen.

Again, Rino was not prepared. Although he did notice that Donut was stirring. “How can the metro one be the blocker?” Roger muttered after she had broken the kiss, before hesitantly getting off Rino. “Right so go take a cold shower and I will undress Donut.”

“H-Huh?” Rino said extremely confused.

“Well how do you expect him to get wet if he is in his armor?” Roger said getting up.

“BOW CHICKA BO- GAAAAY!” Tucker yelled from his room. “Wait... How did I know it was gay?” Tucker asked himself.

Rino rolled of the bed and faceplanted on the floor comedicly. “Son of a bitch.” he grumbled. Before getting up, he looked down and saw that he only was in his boxers. Which caused him to raise a eyebrow. “How did I lose all of my clothes?” he asked Roger.

“You were itchy.” Roger said innocently as she helped Donut slip of his leg armor. “They are in that chair.” Roger said as she pointed towards a chair.

Rino just looked over the chair she pointed too before walking over picking them up and walking into her bathroom and almost forgetting to lock the door.

“What’s with him?” Donut said yawning. You could hear the shower getting turned on from their side of the room.

“He had a close encounter.” Roger replied happily. “Oh yeah, Donut? I need you to go help Tucker after I get the rest of your armor off okay?”

He lazily nodded and yawned again as Roger took the chest plate off his armor. Roger bit her lip and looked at the locked bathroom door before letting out a happy sigh. She then helped him take of the fore-leg armor. As she put the last piece of armor back onto the bed she noticed, much like herself and Rino, that Donut was wearing civies under his armor. The sight was actually quite funny. He was wearing a baggy white T-shirt and, for some strange reason, now baggy jogging shorts.

She pushed him out of the room before saying “Now go help Tucker. I’ve got some buisness with Rino.”

Donut, of course, just nodded before trott-... Limping over to Tucker’s and Rino’s room... and a soon to be Tucker’s and Donut’s room. Roger closed the door to her room before locking the door and sneaking over to the lock. She bit her lip and giggled like a little school girl, before slowly picking the lock.

“Sneaking in to the captian’s bathroom... Risky... But the prize..” She said as she bit her lip before getting the door unlocked.

She slowly opened up and saw that Rino was facing the Shower wall taking a hot shower, making condensation cover up most of his nether regions. She carefully opened the door and walked in, before closing the door.... carefully and locking it.

As she turned toward the shower she was all ready in the process of removing her bra, which came off rather quickly before moving on to her panties which also came off quite quickly... She leaned against the frame against of the shower before whistling and saying.

“Hey big guy.” with a sultry voice.
(A/N: LOL NOPE NO CLOP HERE.)

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Back to Blood Gulch)

“Simmons! Have you fixed it yet?” Grif said as he looked to said Red.

“If you want to do this then go right ahead!” Simmons said as he looked at the wire’s

“No thanks. Seeing you freak out is pretty fun to watch.” Girf said smirking through his visor before turning to Church. “So why were they over here in the first place Church?”

“Tucker, saw that Roger was a chick, and probably came over here to molest her or something.” Church said.

“So you’re saying that he came over here to try and pick up Roger?” Grif comfirmed.

“Basicly.... Fucking dumbass Tucker.” Church muttered under his breath.

“Yeah..... Simmons are you done now?” Grif said turning to simmons.

“No!” Simmons said before punching the instrument board. “Ow fuck!”

The instrument board sparked a few times before the portal turned Rainbow colored. Simmons looked at it before bating a eye brow. “Looks like I fixed it...”

“You punched it.” Grif said.

“You were getting on my nerves, so I punched this instead” Simmons said as he gestured to the instrument board.

“Alright then..... What now?” Grif said looking to portal.

“We walk through it and fetch them?” Wash said looking at Church and Simmons. “Well what are you waiting for? Go.” He commanded.

“What do you mean ‘Go’?” Grif said looking at Washington. “We aren’t going through something that randomly turned rainbow colored after Simmons smacked it!”

“I hate to agree with him, but he does have a point.” Church said.

“Fine I’ll go... But you two just signed yourselves onto my team. Now let’s move before it changes back.” Washington said grabbing both of their armors’ collars and dragging them towards the portal.

“Wait. No!!” They both said as they tried to get away from Washington’s grip.

“Geez you have a strong grip.” Grif said as his feet scraped the ground.

“Yes I do, now through the portal you go!” Washington said throwing Grif through.

“Oh you assh-” He began as he vanished through the portal.

“And you too!” Wash said throwing Church next.

“Oh god da-” Church tried to say before he went into the portal as well. Soon after he went threw Washington pulled out his rifle and ran straight at the portal and jumped through. With the final sound of the teleporter working it’s scientific magic, the portal flashed and changed back to it’s normal shade of green.

“Well that’s different.” Simmons said looking at the teleporter, before realizing he was stuck there with Caboose and Sarge. “Fuck! I should have gone!”

“Where did Church go?” Caboose said looking to Simmons.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Back in Canterlot)

“That was satisfying.” Roger said with a happy sigh as she walked out of the bathroom with only towel covering up her body. Rino was just a few seconds after her, slightly shaken from what just happened. But he of course was actually properly dressed. He had his black t-shirt on him and his slacks.

“U-uh.... Yeah....” Rino said as he exited the bathroom, shaking slightly.

“What’s the matter? First time or something?” Roger said walking over to her armor and clothes.

“First time gettin’ raped in the bathroom.” Rino said as he sat down in the sofa.

“Oh please. If it was rape you would have a broken neck right now.” Roger said looking around and gathering her clothing. “And besides! It can’t be rape since you enjoyed it.”

“Since when did I say I enjoyed it?” Rino said looking at Roger.

Roger looked over and began to count on her metallic fingers. “One you didn’t stop me when you had plenty of chances. Two if you did want to stop me you could have easily over powered me. Three no one would ever let me do that to them unless they wanted it.... Need I go on?” Roger said with a smile.

“Fine....” Rino said with a sigh before leaning back a bit in the sofa before asking “So, what now?”

Roger looked off for a second before walking over to the bathroom and grabbing her undergarments. “There you are... Well. I guess the simplest way would be to either A) keep this secret and just go with the flow. Or B) we tell everyone our feelings and let the dice fall where they may.”

She said walking back over to her clothes.

“You know I hate skirting around things.” Rino said as he put a hand behind his head.

“Yeah ya do....” Roger said smirking. “So just go ahead and tell everyone?”

“I don’t know....” Rino said as he entered thinking mode.

Roger just walked over and sat by him, somehow already having her undergarments on, and sat by him. “You know planning is my forte right?” Roger said poking him in the ribs.

“What?” Rino said looking around to where Roger used to stand. “The fuck? Where did she go?”

“Right here robo eye.” Roger said slipping her pants on. “I am trained to sneak around things and avoid them I am going to disappear every now and again.”

“Huh, I, myself, am trained to just basicly charge, have worked so... Far.” Rino said looking at Roger. “Well, mostly so far....”

Roger just snickered before walking over and slipping her sleeveless shirt on. “Want to help get my armor on? I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen. Then again that might just be me.” Roger said picking up her armor’s boots.

Rino just sighed and stood up, “No... I have a bad feeling too, probably going to go over and put on my armor too.”

He walked over till he stood in front of Roger and was slightly taller than her, he looked down into her eyes before getting lost somehow. He was brought out by a sudden ‘clinking’ as Roger was snapping her robot hand at him.

“You okay? You got lost there for a second.” Roger said smiling and put her boots on. “Hand me my armor pants will ya?”

“U-uh sure.” Rino said as he grabbed the pants and handed them to her.

“Thank you.” She places the armor on and locks it into place before standing and testing them. “Alright good. Now my chestplate.”

“You have beautiful eyes...” Rino said before shaking his head. “What did I just say?”

“Something very sweet. Now go on! Get! I can finish getting dress on my own.” Roger said putting her chestplate on and locking it into place. Rino gave Roger a light hug before turning to leave, but he felt something grab his hand.

“What no goodbye kiss for your new girlfriend?” Roger said playfully while holding onto Rino’s hand.

“U-Uh... Sure.” Rino said as he turned around and faced her.

“Well? I’m waiting.” Roger said smiling at him.

Rino just smiled a little before leaning in and planting his lips on hers. Which was surprising for Rino since hes been all brain fucked during the last 4k words... Anyhow, he broke the kiss after a while and was going to walk out the door, but Roger said something.

“That’s better. Later big guy! Oh and tell Donut that he is switching roomates.” Roger said gleefully while she slipped the last of her armor onto her flesh and bone arm.

“Ooookay...” Rino said a bit hesitant before walking out and over to his room before spining on his heels and opening the door and peeking through. “Mind putting the booze in the fridge after you are done?”

Roger nodded before looking for her helmet. Rino closed the door again and went over to now to be Donut and Tucker’s room, he started to put on his armour when he noticed that Tucker was standing up.

“Hey, you can actually stand for once.” Rino said as he put on his chestplate.

“Hell yes! Now.... How the fuck do I walk forward?” Tucker asked himself before trying to take a step forward and ending up face planting on the floor. “Son of a bitch that hurt.”

Rino chuckled at Tuckers misfortune before asking

“When did you learn to stand up?” he asked as he raised a eyebrow before putting on his helmet.

“Donut taught it to me.... After I asked nicely.” Tucker said quietly. Rino just looked over to the sofa and saw Donut sitting there waving his left hoof at Rino with a smile on his face.

“Donut you are sharing rooms with Tucker apparently, Roger want’s to switch you over.” Rino said shrugging before walking over to pick up “The Impaler.”

“Aw what?” Donut said getting a slightly sad face. “Fine, but one of you is going to have to carry my armor over. Can’t with out my arms... Or upright position.”

Rino sighed before noticing a un-opened beer bottle. That looked suspiciously out of place, he went over to pick it up, but Tucker spoke up before he had the chance.
“I would not drink that if I were you, that Rainbow chick came in with it.... No telling what she might have done with it.” Tucker said looking at Rino. “By the way... What do you mean Roger wants to change roommates?”

“She got bored of Donut. She thought he was annoying so she went with me instead, since I’m the only one who knows how to shut my trap here.” Rino said as he picked up “The Impaler” and putting it on his magnetic lock on his back.

“What? Fucking unfair, so you get to share a room with a chick and I get stuck with a gay guy? Fucki-” Tucker said before getting interrupted by Donut

“I AM NOT GAY!” Donut yelled out.

“-ng great.” Tucker finished with a sigh. “Well it’s not like your gonna sleep with her. Right?”

Rino tensed up a bit before relaxing again. “Sleep with a red? No way.... Actually, We might have to share bed.... But still, does not count.”

“Still freakin’ unfair.” Tucker muttered. Rino sighed and picked up the chess board with pieces before folding it and walking over to the door.

“I’m grabbing this for later.” Rino said as he exited through the door. He then walked over to His new room and opened the door to find Roger halfway under the bed still looking for her helmet.

“What are you doing?” Rino asked as he walked through the door and closed it behind himself.

“Looking for my helmet. By the way I have been meaning to ask you...” She crawled out and stood up. “... What’s with that skittle head pony? I saw her looking through the door cracks after you left.”

Rino shuddered before saying. “She’s somewhat of a stalker I guess...”

“Ah.... Have you seen my helmet at all?” Roger said looking around.

“Under that desk there.” Rino said as he pointed towards a desk. But before she could walk over and grab her helmet, a guard burst through the door.

“I swear to god, these door’s were ment to be broken.” Rino muttered before turning around to face him.

“Something has come up! We need you two in the throne room immediately!” The guard yelled.

Rino and Roger just looked at each other before shrugging and following the pony to the throne room.

Author's Note

Damn.... That took longer than expected for me to get this chapter out.... And I'm also leaving a cliffhanger (but not a bad one.)
Oh and by the way, only ship I probably will do is between my OC's..... I'm not really sure how I can ship the other's... But we will see, anyhow now that my school have started again I will not able to update during the week, so you will have to wait for a new chapter every Sunday - Saturday.

Now with that said, Enjoy the chapter! and as always, if you spot any errors. Feel free to point them out and I'll fix them

Till next time, The Alpha.

Another split.... Sucks so bad. (2/2)

Chapter 5: Another split.... Sucks so bad. (2/2)

As Rino were standing there looking at Roger with a raised eyebrow behind his helmet, he noticed both that she had a fine looking ass and that she were frantically looking for her helmet.

“Still have not found you’re helmet?” Rino asked yawning a bit.

“Nope! Which is really starting to piss me off!” Roger said growling a bit at the end. “I swear, I am just going to set fire to this room and find my helmet in the ashes.”

“Have you looked on the right side of the bed? Under the covers?” Rino asked leaning against the wall. Roger just stared off for a moment before walking over to the right side of the bed and lifting the covers.

“FUCK.” She yelled out as she angrily grabbed her helmet and put it on.

“Well.... That was different.” Rino said yawning again. “What’s the time anyways?”

“Um...” Roger finished fastening her helmet and looked at the corner of the helmet as it’s HUD came on. “9:30. Why?”

“Shit.... That’s way to fuckin’ early for me...” Rino said as he stopped leaning against the wall. “I usually wake up around 12.... Or 3:30....”

“Oh quit your bitchin’ and come on.” Roger said puling out one of her SMGs. “We got something to take care of remember?”

“Oh yeah.... That’s why we are in this armor....” Rino said with a sigh. He walked over to the Guard and looked down at him, he almost fell asleep right there. Were it not for Roger who tapped him on the visor.

“Stay awake big guy. I don’t want to have to tell Sarge I found a K.I.A. Blue alright?” Roger said somewhat supporting the Blue spartan.

“Holy fuck, it’s so damn early... Let’s just get this over with...” Rino said leaning against Roger a bit who had some problems supporting Rino.

“Oi! I am not you’re bed! Your teddy bear maybe, but not you’re bed.” Roger said giving his armored arm a slug before turning to the guard. “Let’s get a move on before this guy turns me into a pancake.”

The guard just nodded and motioned them to follow him as he rushed out of the room and set off for the Throne room. After a few minutes of running around in the halls and dodging servants. They finally arrived at the throne room, where a new voice was yelling and he sounded a bit pissed.

“What the fuck is this?!” He yelled from inside the throne room.

“Hey Rino.... I have a riddle for you.” Roger said as she put her hand against the door. “Who is light blue and sucks with a sniper?”

“That would be.... Church.” Rino said as he looked at Roger “Why?”

“Well.... I have a certain feeling you should just stand still for a moment.” Roger said opening the door. As the door swung open several shots went past Roger’s head and whizzed by Rino. “Told ya.”

“Son of a bitch!” Church yelled from his position behind the throne.

“Hey Church! I see you haven’t stopped sucking!” Roger said walking into the throne room and holstering her SMG.

“Shut it bitch!” Church snapped at her. “Why is there horses everywhere?”

“Well first, nice to see you too, secondly... You’re kinda in a different plane of existence.” Roger said placing her robot hand on her hip. Rino walked into the room yawning loudly, he almost walked into wall before realizing that he should go back to sleep.

“I should sleep again.” Rino said tiredly.

“You can sleep after Church explains why he is here. And why we shouldn’t let the royal guards throw him in the dungeon for assualt.... Meger assault with a deadly weapon.” Roger said walking over to Church and taking his rifle away.

“Hey give that back!” Church said as he leaned over and tried to take his rifle back, but it was like when a bully had taken your doll or whatever thing you had. She just held it above her head making it harder for Church to get it back.

“I will give it back when you tell me how and why you are here.” Roger said like a teacher would to her student. What she didn’t notice was that Rino quietly... Somewhat quietly, walked up behind her and firstly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close. “Um Rino? What are you doing?”

Rino then reached up and grabbed the sniper and saying “Yoink!” he then ran over to a balcony and opened the door. He put the sniper on the guard rail and looked through the scope before zooming in over the landscape.

“Hey, look there is a village to the East!” Rino said much less tired. Roger just walked up behind him and looked over in the same direction.

“Really? Here let me see.” Roger said taking the Rifle from Rino and looking. “Huh... Your right. Wait..... Rino?”

“Yeees?” Rino asked as he looked over the landscape again.

“Do we know any spartans that wear grey armor with yellow stripes?” Roger said as she saw a spartan lying on the grass about half a mile away from the village.

“May I have my fucking sniper rifle back?!” Church yelled from inside

“Nope!” Roger yelled back.

“Not sure if I know anyone with grey armor... Much less with yellow stripes...” Rino said as he leaned against the hand railing... Or hoof railing, I have no clue!

“Hey blue boy! How about you?” Roger asked as she continue to look at the spartan through the scope.

“Oh yeah, that’s... Agent Washington I believe he was supposed to pick you guys up from Blood Gulch.” Church said before walking over. “Why you asking... New Red chick... Or guy.?”

“Well... For one, I am a girl. And Two: There is a grey spartan with yellow stripes passed out near that village.” Roger said slightly annoyed. “Oh and call me a guy again. And I will do what I did to Tucker to you, Blue boy.”

“Tucker is here? Son of a bitch, just when I finally thought that I was rid of him... He comes back to haunt me.” Church said with a annoyed sigh.

“Well if it makes you feel any better. Tucker is a pony. A clusmy one at that.” Roger said snickering. “Also Rino. You might want to put your legs to use and go get one of the princesses.”

“Why me?” Rino asked as he looked at Roger. “Why not Smarty Mc wee wee over there.”

“Who?” Roger said looking at Rino.

“Church.” Rino said with a sigh.

“Oh. Well one: He has no idea where he is, Two: He is rather incompetent and Three: One of us has to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid or scare anymore ponies with his horrible aim.” Roger said smirking behind her visor.

“Too late.” Rino said as he looked back and saw that Church was flailing his arms and running after a terrified guard pony.

Roger just sighed and put the rifle in Rino’s hands. “Hold this.” Then she ran over and tackled Church before picking him up like he was wounded and walking out the door and taking a right disappearing around the corner. “I am taking him back to the rooms! Tell the Princesses to meet us there!”

“Fucking shit... Just because I’m together with you doesn’t mean you can boss me around.” Rino grumbled under his breath and straight in to the radio.

“Mic is still on!” Roger said through her helmet’s radio microphone. “And it’s not like you had a plan.”

Rino just sighed in annoyance before turning away from her and looking over the land scape. “I’m just going to turn on my megaphone... Wait, what is ass in their language?”

“Um... Donkey?” A guard next to him said.

“Donkey?” Rino said bating a eyebrow behind his visor “I thought it would be flank.”

“No... That’s flank.” The guard pony said.

“Okay.... Well...” Rino said before turning his megaphone on and turning back over the landscape. “PRINCESS CELESTIA HAS A FAT FLANK!”

A few seconds later a furious looking Celestia came in to the throne room. “Who said that?” She said as steam blew out of her nostrils.

Rino just pointed at the guard which looked nervous as fuck. A few seconds later Celestia was up in his face.

“I’ll talk with you later.” She said before teleporting him somewhere.

Then Roger came onto the radio. “Why the fuck did you yell something like that? It’s not that big! Well... For a pony.”

“Quiet! She’s like right in front of me!” Rino said growling quietly.

“Oh.... Did I forget to mention that these ponies have very good hearing?” Roger said rather nervously through the radio.

“Yes... Yes you did.” Rino said before facing Celestia. “Alright would you be so kind and teleport us to the guest rooms? And you follow?” He asked a bit nervously.

“Sure. But first.. What did your friend say over your hearing device?” Celestia said taking a step closer.

Rino rolled his eyes before saying “Look what you’ve done Roggie.” with a childish voice.

“Ain’t my fault you’re a big mouth." A faint 'BOW CHIKA BOW WOW!' was heard in the background "SHUT UP TUCKER!” Roger yelled over the mic.

“Ow my ears...” Rino said as he tried to reach his ear with his right hand but ended up touching his helmet. “Anyhow she just said something about a flank, not sure who’s.”

“Oh? And what did she say?” Celestia said taking another step closer.

“Uh....” Rino said tilting his head a bit, he hummed for a few minutes before a light snore was heard from him. Celestia rolled her eyes and smacked the side of his head with her hoof.

“Hmm- Wha...?” Rino asked as he was awoken.

“You were going to tell me what your friend said.” Celestia said calmly.

“Oh. I can’t remember, you will have to ask her yourself.” Rino said before yawing and streching a bit.

“Uh huh.” Celestia said before sighing and gesturing Rino over. “Alright I will. Now come.. Yo-”

“BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!” Tucker somehow managed to yell all the way from the guest rooms. Then a “OW!” Was heard shortly after.

“You said we needed to go somewhere?” Celestia asked slightly confused, but did not show it.

“Yeah... The guest room please.” Rino said as he went over to Celestia.

“Oh! Such manners! I can tell why Roger fell for you.” Celestia said with a wink and charged up her horn.

“How...” Was all that Rino managed to say before they were teleported to the guest rooms. As they stood in the middle of the room he saw that the door flung opened to reveal Roger and Church.

“Hey Roggie!” Rino said as he waved casually before walking towards their room.

“Where you going?” Roger asked as she saw Rino walk by.

“Sleep.” He replied before opening their room door. He then looked at his left hand which held on to the sniper rifle. “Oh right.... Hey Church, catch!”

Rino then threw the sniper at Church who was all confused and ended up getting the sniper in his face “Fuck!”

“Ha.” Roger said before walking over to Celestia. “Alright Princess. I asked Rino to bring you here so I could inform you of not one, but two new Spartans in your land. One is here and the other is outside of a small village to the east.”

“Oh? And what is this second ‘Spartan’ doing?” Celestia asked becoming protective

“Actually, there might be three if we are not counting me.... Also I’m not sure if you can count this guy as a spartan, I’m pretty sure he’s a living garbage dump.” Church said before going over and sitting on a couch with his sniper.

“Who are you talking about?” Roger said turning to Church.

“Who else, but your favorite orange slob?” He said looking bored..

“Grif is here? Grif? Grif came to a alternate dimension?” Roger said almost not believing him.

“Well, you know that Grey guy? Washington?” Church asked. Roger nodded. “Right, well he threw us through the teleporter... Before rushing through himself I guess, anyhow I’m going to kill him when I find him.”

“Well alright. Who is this guy anyway? Like is he a Sargent? Captain? What?” Roger said crossing her arms.

“Agent from Command...” Church said before leaning back in the couch and yawning a bit. Roger’s whole body became stiff at the sentence but relaxed as Church look back. Rino burst through the door of their room and asked.

“Did someone say ‘Agent from Command’?” He said with a serious tone. Roger just pointed to Church. While Celestia just remained confused.

“Don’t say it again, I’ll rip your spine out and wear it as a thropy.” Rino said with a dead serious voice. Before looking at Roger. “Come to bed, it’s to early for this.”

Roger just sighs and nodded. “Fine. Be there in a minute.”

“Man where did that come fro- Wait did he say... Are you to sleeping with each other?” Church asked in disbelief. Roger just pulled out her SMG and pointed it at Church.

“Got a problem with that?” She said with venom in her voice.

He pointed his Sniper at her before saying “No way I’m missing at point blank...”

Roger just sighed and grabbed the barrel of the rifle before yanking it away. “Snipers aren’t meant for close range numb nuts.” Roger said.

“God damn it.” Church muttered before laying down in the couch. “And no, I don’t got a problem with it... Might be jealous yes, but I don’t have a problem with it.”

“Jealous?” Roger said snickering.

“You are good looking, what can I say.” Church said tierdly.

“Oh man. I can’t wait for my old squad to hear about this. Two of the opposing side fell for me!” Roger said snickering and walking towards the room. “Oh and Celly? You might want to go get that Spartan before he wakes up. Those agents aren’t to keen on unfamiliar environments.”

“Hey! I said you look good, It does not mean I like you.” Church yelled before a certain aqua pony came crawling out.

“Church?” Tucker asked.

“Is that Tuck-” Church said as he sat up and looked at Tucker who was trying to stand up.

“What... The fuck?” Church said before bursting into laughter.

“Fuck you too man!” Tucker said pointing a hoof at Church. Roger just chuckled at Church and walked over to Tucker.

“Oh! And Tucker? I have been meaning to tell you this.” Roger said kneeling down to Tucker.

“What? You finally want some?” Tucker said smirking. Roger just chuckled and patted him on the head.

“Nope. I just wanted to say...” She leaned in and whispered into Tucker’s ear. “.. Rino got some.”

Then she leaned back up and walked to her room before opening it up and walking inside. Then the door opened up and a Sniper rifle was thrown out before closing again.

“What?! That’s so fucking unfair!” Tucker said over Church’s laughter. After a short while Church calmed down and walked over to his Sniper rifle and picking it up.

“You look like fucking weird.” Church said before walking over to... ‘His’ Couch as he had marked it, with a ‘Church was here.’

“Yeah well you try becoming a pony and we will see who’s laughing!” Tucker yelled. Before Rino came bursting out again, this time with a bag in his hand.

“God, how hard can it be to just fucking put the booze in the fridge?” Rino muttered under his breath. Roger also came out flipping through a magazine before tossing it over to Tucker.

“That’s yours by the way!” She yelled before walking back into the room.

As Rino was opening and stacking stuff inside the fridge, he started glowing a soft green. Same was for Tucker, who just had figured out how to take his first steps as a pony.

Rino just finished up putting all the booze inside fridge before he really started to glow green, the same went for Tucker.

“Holy shit! Did you see that? I just managed to take a st-” He said before a huge green flash blinded them and when the light died down there was a new Deep sea blue pony in the room and a human with Aqua armor on.

“YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Tucker yelled angrily. His voice was accompanied by a very,very ,VERY angry roar from a certain red’s room.

“WHO THE FUCK DID THIS!?” Roger bellowed before she skidded out of the room and slammed into the wall.

Rino just grunted before trying to get up but was to tired. “I have no idea...” he said before again trying to get up. Roger just flailed about for a moment before sighing and simply rolling onto her stomach. She gingerly tried to push up but only got to stand. As she took a step she fell right on her face.

“FUCK.” She yelled out. Somehow Rino had managed to get up on his back hooves and walked like a bipedal. Everyone in the room, including the mane six who had burst through their rooms to look what had happened, was staring in disbelief.

“Okay... Now that’s bullshit.” Roger said standing up again. “How did you even get up like that?”

“Uh... How?” Rino said shrugging. Tucker gestured at him.

“Like that.” He said as he pointed at his back hooves. “It makes no sense.”

“Yeah like the time you had a grub.” Church said looking at Rino and some of the other ponies in the room.

“Hey don’t talk bad about junior!” Tucker said turning around violently and glaring at Church. “He might be a alien, but he’s still my kid.”

“Can we forget about Tucker’s mutant man child and figure this out!?” Roger yelled out angrily. She shakily took a step forward and sighed with relief as she didn’t fall down. She took a few more steps before walking next to Rino. “Tucker? How did you now learn to walk? That was easy.”

“Shut up bitch.” Tucker growled.

“Dude...” Roger said as two large feathered appendages flared off her back. “... You just fucked up.”

She flapped the two wings and propelled herself into Tuckers stomach before beginning to beat him senseless with her hooves. “I like hooves! It’s like always wearing brass knuckles!” She said continuing to beat Tucker.

“Ow fuck!” Tucker yelled out before jumping back a bit and drawing out his energy sword. “Come at me, bitch.”

Roger just deadpanned and pulled a grenade a off her belt with her robotic hoof. He clicked a button and the small blue orb flared to life and she gently tossed it and stuck it to his chest. “Boosh beyotch.” Roger said.

Right before that thing exploded, some thing blue got in the way of Roger’s visor before she felt something impact with her head making her dizzy. A few seconds later something fuzzing blue few through a balcony and a land annoyed sigh was heard.

“That was a dick move Rino.” Roger said rubbing where Rino hit her. “Why did you have to do that?”

Rino just looked at Roger before punching Tucker in the kneecap. “HOLY FUCK THAT HURTS!” Tucker screamed before collapsing clutching his knee.

“Oh and you.” Rino pointed a hoof at Roger. “I’m tired, and I don’t want to deal with this shit.”

“So you punched me so you could save the one causing the trouble?” Roger said as her vision came back and she shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense.”

Rino just looked at Roger before gesturing Tucker who was Down on the floor still clutching his knee. “Seems like he will have trouble walking still.”

“Well... I am taking one of those beers. My head is pounding.” Roger said walking over to the fridge and pull out a beer somehow with her hoof. “I don’t care or want to know.”

Then she walked over to Rino and nudged him with her flank and nodded to the room. “Well? What are you waiting for? A invitation?” She said hopping on her three hooves over to the room.

Rino just sighed at looked at the Mane six and Church before nodding. He then quickly walked over to the fridge and taking out a Applejack-daniels. He shrugged before walking over to his room and closing the door and letting out a loud sigh.

“Okay I will say it...” Celestia started. “WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?”

Church just remained quiet before looking at Tucker. “Ha ha! He’s hurt.” He said pointing at him.

“Well that was different...” Pinkie said. Everyone just looked to her and blinked. “What? I can’t say when something was out of the norm?”

Church just sat there watching all of the ponies and Tucker who was groaning on the floor. He thought about mercy killing him but decided against it.

“So.... What happens now?” Twilight asked.

“Well.... Ah Guess.... Ah have no clue.” Applejack deadpanned.

“U-Uh... I-I have no idea either.” Fluttershy almost whispered.

“Well I have one thing to ask!” Rainbow said hovering over the group. “Who’s the new guy? Is he part of Rino’s group?”

“Yeah... Who is that strange fella?” Pinkie asked as she popped up next to Church, who almost got scared shitless thanks to her.

“What the fuck? How did you do that?” Church asked shaking his head and staggering back a bit.

“That’s Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. Don’t question it and you will save yourself one heck of a headache.” Twilight said sighing.

“Wait, so essentially this pink one is like Caboose?” Church said pointing to where Pinkie used to stand, but now was sitting on the counter in the kitchen.

“Caboose is the strange blue one who talks to... What were they? Tanks! That’s it. Right?” Twilight asked.

“Shit... Time to just ignore her... For the most part.” Church said looking at the kitchen before sitting down on the couch again. He basically sunk in to the couch and was close to falling asleep, when he noticed something by his side which woke him up.

“Hold on now!” Applejack said slightly shaking him. “Ya still haven’t introduced yerself blueboy.”

Church groaned in annoyance before saying. “The name is Church, don’t wear it out.”

He then tried to take a nap again, but as fate has it. It just loves to torture him.

“Nice to meet you ‘Church’!” Rainbow said almost crashing onto the couch next to him. “I’m Rainbow Dash! Fastest pegasus alive!”

Church just nodded and tried to go back to napping when, A certain pink pony decided to speak up.

“What you mean me?” Pinkie asked as she looked up in the ‘ceiling’ … And yes, I mean you Pinkie, now get to work!

“Geez you are such a slave driver.” Pinkie muttered before bouncing over towards Church. I’m not a...

“Is she always like this?” Church asked. Yes, yes she is Church.

“Did you hear that?” Church said looking around but was stopped by a pink pony who had a huge grin on her face.

“Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie!” She said before bouncing over to the couch and sitting down in it.

“Calm down Pinkie. Don’t make our guest more confused than he already is. You are a ‘he’ correct?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, but this place makes me question my masculinity.” Church said before looking around. “What do you want with me?”

“Oh darling. How can you act like such a boar? And that armor! It’s horribly dreadful!” Rarity said looking over Church. “You certainly can’t pull it off.”

“I’m not a boar and I like my armor just fine and I can’t take it off. I had to repaint myself.” Church said shrugging a bit.

“What do y’all mean ya can’t take it off? Those others took theirs off just fine!” Applejack said poking him with her hoof which caused a small metal clang to be heard.

“I’m a robot, oh and a ghost.” Church said looking at Applejack. “That’s why I can’t do it.”

“Your..... A ghost.” Twilight deadpanned. “Robot I believe after seeing those other two. But ghost? Not possible.”

Church looked at Twilight before saying. “You want me to prove it?”

“Actually yes. I would.” She said taking a step forward.

Church stood up from the couch and took a step forward before breathing out a bit. “I’m not sure why I’m still trying to breathe... I mean I’m a freaking robot.” He said before his robot body just spasmed a few short seconds before falling to the ground.

Where his body fell were a standing white transparent spartan holding a sniper rifle.

“This good enough for you?” Church asked stretching a bit. Before Twilight could answer, Roger had run out with her SMG, Again, and helmet off before pointing her SMG and all around yelling.

“WHO DIED!?”

“I’m alive bitch.” Church said mock waving at her. “And you can’t hurt me either.”

Roger just glared at Church before smiling. “Yeah I guess I can’t. But I can do this.” She turned and put several holes in the left leg of the lifeless robot on the ground. “Enjoy the lead, ghost fuck.”

She just smiled more and trotted back to her room yelling to Rino. “Hey Rino! Did you know that Church is just a ghost in a robot?”

Rino came skidding out of the room and could not stop until he tripped over Tucker. “Hijo de puta.” he said in spanish. Which roughly means motherfucker. He then got up and looked at Church.

“That’s... Fuckin’ cool!” He said with a huge grin on his face before he could walk over and inspect him more Roger grabbed him and started dragging him towards their room.

“Oh no. You wanted to sleep and that’s what we are doing.” Roger said making sure her mechanical hoof had a tight grip on him.

“B-But! Roggie! He’s a ghost!” Rino whined.

“And your a four hundred pound tank of a pony and I am a pegasus. What else is new?” Roger said as she continued to drag him.

“That you are going to bang him.” Tucker said as he had gotten up and limped toward Church and the others.

“Okay Rino... If I can kill Tucker you can look at Church all you want.” Roger said stopping in her tracks.

Church just snickered before walking over to Rino and crouching down. “Who is this guy?”

“It’s me! Rino!” Rino said a bit more excited than he usually was.

“Rino? … But you are a human not a horse.” Church said tilting his head.

“Pony actually.” Roger said turning around and fluffing her wings a bit.

“The hell? You have wings?” Church said noticing the wings, and getting a glare from Roger for checking her out.

“Visor to the eyes blueboy. This guy is the only one who gets to undress me with his eyes.” Roger said pointing to Rino, Who was amazed that his hoof went through the stomach of Church.

Church just shook his head before walking over to his robot body and inspecting the damage.

“Come back here! I’m not done with trying to poke my hoof through you!” Rino said as he squirmed around in Roger’s grip.

“You are such a child.” Roger said. “Okay go try to poke Church some more while I take the bullets out of his robot’s leg.”

Roger let go of Rino who just sat there for a few second before jumping at Roger and hugged her.

“No.” He said snuggling up against her.

“Oh now you want to love me?” Roger said jokingly.

“I always loved you.” Rino whispered so the others could not hear.

“Well that is always nice to know.” She whispered back before wiggling out of his grip. “Now go on and let your child out while I go fix Church’s body up. Been itching to tinker with something for a while now.”

“Okay.” Rino said sitting up, he gave Roger a quick peck on the cheek before standing up on his two hind legs and running over to Church.

“Oh and Rino?” Roger said walking over. “I would recommend you learn to walk on four hooves.”

Rino blinked a few times before looking at her with a questioning look. “Why?”

Roger just rolled her eyes and walked over before tapping a private area on his armor. “You not always gonna have this on are ya?”

As if on que Rino blushed furiosly before standing on four legs and nodding. “Y-Yeah... That’s true, b-but it goes much faster on two legs!” He complained.

“Bow chicka bow wow.” Roger said smirking.

“Hey! What did I tell you about that?” Tucker said from the couch, he was sitting next to Rainbow Dash, who was undressing Rino with her eyes. Roger gave Rainbow a milisecond of a glare before seeing a certain magazine on the floor. She just grinned evilly and picked it up.

“Oh shut up ‘PlayColt’.” She said tossing the magazine into his lap.

Tucker hummed for a few seconds before shrugging and opening it and reading it. “There are a lot of ponies in here...” He said a bit hesitant to continue.

“Tucker.... Is that hesitation of the females I am seeing?” Roger said grinning even more. “I thought you were a ladies’ man.”

“Except I’m not sure if this is hot or not....” Tucker said turning a page then showing Roger. Roger just looked at it before shrugging.

“I don’t swing that way, but I’d hit it.” She said plainly. Tucker just looked at her and the picture before nodding his head in agreement.

Rino though was totally ignoring everything and trying to touch Church, who was growing annoyed with Rino.

“Hey Roger, tell your boyfriend to stop this.” Church said gesturing Rino who was standing inside of Church. Roger just sighed and shook her head.

“Hey Tucker? Want to see how a lady gets a man?” Roger asked Tucker honestly.

“Hmm?” Tucker hummed as he looked up from his magazine. Roger just smirked and turned to Rino.

“Hey Rino! Want to see me make out with another girl?” Roger said smiling.

Rino’s eyes snapped directly towards Roger before nodding furiously. “Yes please!”

Roger just laughed and smiled even more. “I promise I will later, but for now stop annoying Church.” Roger said turning back to Tucker. “And that good sir, is how a woman gets a man.”

“Darling, that was repulsive! Not to mention brutish!” Rarity said.

“Is that a invite to the make session hot stuff?” Roger said smirking towards Rarity.

“U-Uh.” Rarity said blushing furiously before passing out.

“She was totally considering it too.” Roger said smirking. “See Tucker? I can make even the ladies pass out.”

“Yeah but you have to try. Rino does it sub-consciously, I mean look at you and him, he barely did anything.” Tucker said as he gestured Rino who let out a disappointed sigh whilst looking at Church, who was still inspecting the damage.

“Who said I was trying?” Roger said going over to Church’s body.

“Well, It certainly looked like you tried.” Tucker said as he looked back down in his magazine.

“Says the man who tried to pick me up with one liners and self complements.” Roger said lifting Church’s robot’s leg and looking at the damage.

Tucker just sighed and continued to read, as he did that Rainbow sneaked around Roger and up on Rino, before smiling devilishly and grabbing his shoulder.

“Let me show you my bedroom Rino.” she said in a sultry voice.

Rino had no time to protest before he was dragged away, he just hoped that Roger noticed before it was too late.

“Okay Church.... I think I see the problem in your robot’s leg.” She said looking to Church and not noticing Rino was gone.

“Alright what’s the problem?” Church asked looking up from his body and towards Roger.

“Well other than the fact that it has seven round of .45 ACP in it, two wires have been disconnected.” Roger said going back to the leg and holding up her metal hoof. A small tube popped out before a small flame flickered to life at the tip. “Here I will show you.”

“Alright... Hey Rin-... Where did Rino go?” Church said as he was looking around the room for him. Roger retracted the small welder and looked around as well.

“Hey..... Where did he go?” She said looking around until she saw some very noticeable skid makes on the ground. “Um... Those weren’t there before.”

“Now that you mention it.... Where is Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked from the couch.

“That little bitch!” Roger yelled out before growling and taking off towards the rooms. Church of course just walked through one of the walls. Before muttering.

“Damn, I’ll never get used to walking through walls, now where the fuck is Rino?” Church said as he walked through a empty room. He saw one of the doors fly off to reveal a VERY pissed off Roger.

“First I am going to break her wings... Then I am going to-” She was muttering as she exited the room.

“Jesus Christ, shes like Tex... But Overly protective instead of Overly aggressive...” Church said as he walked through a wall again. After a few minutes of walking through walls he found the room where Rino was kept. He was tied to the bed with Rainbow standing on the side.

“And now I am going to show you why they call me the ‘fasest pegasus alive’.” She said in a sultry tone as she slowly trotted over. She climbed up on the bed and got on top of him.

“B-But... I-I...” Rino said before Rainbow hushed him by forcefully giving him a kiss.

“Poor bastard.” Church whispered to himself before the door flew off it’s hinges with explosive force. In the light of the door way, Roger stood looking.... Well ever seen a dragon pissed off before? That times 1229485963.999999 repeating of course... Yeah. Angry.

“Who... The fuck. Do you think you are?” Roger said with venom spilling from her voice and walking in. Rainbow just broke the kiss and looked over her shoulder with a mocking grin before saying,

“The fastest pegasus alive.” she said with a sultry voice.

“Yeah..” Roger said cracking her neck. “... But if you think your gonna out run a pissed of Spartan. Your so very wrong.”

Before anything else could be said Roger lunged and tackled Rainbow off of Rino before picking her up and throwing her through the wall which led to to hall way. “FUCK YOU BITCH.” She said through the hole in the wall. “He’s mine!”

Rainbow just sat up looking at the wall. “Why did that feel like a cloud?”

Roger just blinked before walking over and pushing part of the wall off and watching it dissipate. “That answer your question?” Roger deadpanned before socking Rainbow in the snout with her normal hoof.

“Ow! Why did you do that for?” Rainbow said with teary eyes as she rubbed her snout. “That hurt.”

“He is mine. Try and take him. And I will crush you. Got it?” Roger said getting in her face and poking her chest a few times.

“Just wait till he’s alone in the streets.” Rainbow said with a small grin.

“Just wait till I come out of thin air and throw you through a REAL wall.” Roger said clicking a button on her belt and letting her active camo take effect. The hole in the wall was closed and fixed same for the door. Roger just walked in to the room and slammed the door shut.

Rino looked up from the bed and towards the door. “Hey, Roggie! Mind letting me loose?” He asked hopefully. Instead of answering she merely crawled on top of him and turned off her camo, fading back into existance.

“Now why would I do that?” She said in a sultry voice.

Rino laughed nervously before getting kissed by Roger, what both of them did not know was that Church was standing there with his maw agape.... or well if he had one. He slowly backed out of the room before running back to his couch and sitting down on the floor next to it.

Tucker looked up from his magazine and saw Church, he looked at him before nodding approvingly. “Good for him.” he muttered before continuing to read.

Rainbow hovered into the room rubbing her bruised nose before sitting on her haunches and slumping next to Fluttershy. “Stupid Roger and her getting to Rino first. And her stupid colt hooves.”

“Don’t worry Rainbow, you will get another chance later.” Fluttershy said with a soothing voice.

As they talked to each other Church just sat there waiting until Roger would be done playing with her bo-.... Colt toy. Which would take at least two hours since she also had to... Off herself.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Half a mile from Ponyville)

A certain Grey spartan was was slowly waking up to birds who were chirping away the day. The slow but gentle wind. The flies who are annoying as fuck when they get to you. Anyhow now that he was slowly waking up he noticed that he no longer were in Blood Gulch.

When he was fully awaken he sat up and looked around, he saw that there was a village about half a mile from his position and thought it might be a good idea to ask if they have seen Rino and, or Roger, not to mention his two missing teammates that he brought with him.

Boy, he have no idea what trouble he’s in. Or what Rino was currently dealing with.

Author's Note

Yay! New chapter! I've done some of my homework and figured out how to squeeze in a few hours of work before school too.
I got to bed around 21:00 and sleep till 04:00 in the morning and wake up then I work for three hours and create new CHAPTERS OF LOVE!

That aside, Hope you enjoyed the chapter and as always, if you spot a error. Feel free to PM me or say them in the comments and I shall fix them.

Till next time, The Alpha

A Unexpected turn.... Sucks extremely bad. (Extra long)

Chapter 6: A Unexpected turn.... Sucks extremely bad.

WARNING: This chapter contains Mature, Feels, and Loads of swearing. If this is not your forte, then don't read it.

Wash was starting to walk towards the village in a rather slow pace because he was looking around. He saw that the colors of everything was extremely... Colorful. He also noticed how lively this place was compared to all other places. Like sidewinder, or Blood Gulch.

He kept walking and inspecting the surroundings before taking a deep sigh, and said to himself.

“Too bad I wont, stay here forever. This place seems nice” He said looking up at the sky as he was walking. As he was walking, he could have sworn he heard someone yelling in the distance. He looked off to see a large castle like structure in the distance. “Huh..... That’s something you don’t see to often.”

He thought of something quickly before trying it. He looked down and turned on his radio before speaking into it.

“This is Agent Washington. Can anyone hear me?” He said looking at the dirt road before kicking a small pebble causing it to hit a ant effectively crushing it.

“HEY EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! I AM ON THE PHO-. RADIO!” Roger yelled.

“Ow, my poor ears.” Wash muttered as he held a hand on his right side of the helmet.

Then Roger said with a MUCH gentler voice. “Hello?” She said almost sounding normal.

“Ah! Hello! This is Age-... You know what I’ve repeated myself way to much during these nearest two days. Just call me Wash.” He said sounding a bit annoyed.

“Okay Wash.... You wouldn’t happen to be a Spartan in grey armor with yellow stripes would ya?” Roger said.

“Yes, that would happen to be me. Why you asking?” he replied curiously.

“Tell me if you see this!” Roger said before a large tuft of dirt blew up next to him. “Did you see that!?”

Wash jumped a little before looking at it. “What the hell was that?”

“That was me showing Church how to shoot a rifle.” In the back ground some one was yelling. “Oh shut up Church everyone knows you suck! Anyway... Names Roger!”

“Okay.... Pleasure to meet you, but enough of that, where are you located?” He asked getting a bit more serious.

He heard a few whispers in the background. “You might want to shield your eyes.” She said.

“Huh? What do you mean shield my eyes? I have a polarized visor.”

“Well.... Let’s just say our means of arrival will be a bit... Flashy.” Roger said before getting off the radio. As she got off, there was a slight almost faint hum coming from behind him.

“What the...?” He said turning around. As he faced the area the humming was coming from, a sudden blinding light was flashed before..... Nothing was there.

Roger called in and said. “Well that backfired.... Just um... Look to the sky.”

He then turned around and saw that some thing red was flying up above the castle looking thing.

“You’ve got to be kidding... You’re all the way over there?” He said with little amusement.

“Yuppers!... Oh... No you can’t use my helmet. Because your head’s too big that’s why!..... Fine!” Roger said sounding annoyed. “Okay so... Do you see a small town or village near you?”

“It’s less than half a mile click away. I could make there in ten minutes if I walk fast.” Wash said as he kept looking at the castle looking city thing. “May I ask why the teleporter was broken in the first place?”

“I don’t know... I was tinkering with it like I do with my arm, then it flashed rainbow and now we are here! Not that bad... Except for the.... Side effects.”

Wash raised a eyebrow behind his mask before asking. “So you deliberetly tinkered with prototype teleporting technology.... And there is side effects?”

“Yeah, there are. Like the side effect of having no head from annoying me.” Roger said and just to prove a point a round went past Wash’s head. “Got’s it?”

“You have one bad aim, you missed my head by two point seventy-three centimeters.” Wash said unimpressed.

“Who said I that was me shooting?.... Take a guess at who fired.” Roger said.

“Your boyfriend.” Wash said with a smirk behind his mask.

“.....” Roger was silent before saying. “I hope you know I am wielding a anti-tank rifle that is currently pointed at your crotch. And no. It wasn’t my boyfriend. He is trying to put his hand through Church again.”

“What did you say? … And you actually have a boyfriend? I thought you were a guy.” Wash said a bit amused.

“Dude..... I am seriously gonna change your gender if you don’t shut up.” Roger said sound even more annoyed.

Wash just motioned with his hand to move the conversation along. “Alright... So have you seen the local inhabitants?” Roger said as the sound of a rifle zooming out was heard.

“No, not yet. I woke up a while ago.” He said before starting to walk slowly towards the village.

“Well then. I strongly advise you either put your gun on safety or take a few meds to numb the shock your about to get.” Roger said almost sounding... Happy.

“Oookay...” Wash said a bit creeped out. “... I swear you are having sex right now.” he said before picking up his pace.

“You would like that wouldn’t you?” Roger said suggestively. “The sound of me moaning into the mic.”

Wash just facepalmed before shaking his head lightly. “No, preferably not. In our civil conversation, please keep the moaning to the bed room.” He said with a sigh.

“That ain’t possible dude.” Roger said. “They tend to go all over the place.”

“Slut.” Wash said.

“Man whore.” Roger said back.

“Bitch.” Wash responded

“Cunt mouth.” Roger said back.

“Slut whore.” Wash said as a comback

“Man bitch.” Roger responded casually.

Wash hummed before stopping quickly. “Bet that you only use that so called ‘boyfriend’ of yours because of his looks.”

“Bet you fondle your rifle at night because it’s the only thing that sees any action.” Roger retorted.

“Better than dying on the front lines.” Wash said back.

“Eh. Only sometimes.” Roger said. “So... You gonna continue walking or do I need to cause a uproar in the town.”

“You still stalking me with that scope? You dirty, dirty girl.” Wash said with much amusement.

“Oh you know you love it.” Roger said.

Wash just chuckled before continuing to walk towards the village which looked a bit closed than it used to.

“Oh I should probably warn you about the locals.” Roger began. “They are lovely! Just smile and they should be very friendly!”

“Smile? What are you? Something with X-ray vision?” Wash said looking at the castle city thingy, before tapping his helmet twice.

“Then why don’t you take it off? These guys aren’t exactly... Violent. Just skiddish.” Roger replied.

“No, I’m not taking of my helmet in possible hostile enviorment.”

“Huh?.... No he hasn’t... Will you stop! Rino damn it! You’re such a child!!.... Fine. Rino says hi.” Roger said into her mic.

“Oh, so your both there? Good to know... And tell him Hi back.” Wash said.

“Oh yeah! And he says he is gonna cave in your helmet when he sees you.” Roger quickly added.

“You sure that’s not you speaking?” Wash asked.

“Naw. You sound like a nice guy. Don’t look to bad either...... Okay now he says your gonna get your legs broken.” Roger said.

“Eh, doesn’t sound that bad.” Wash said shrugging before walking again.

“He said that wasn’t that bad.... NO I am not saying that! Jesus your cruel. Yeah. Just keep walking.” Roger replied.

(A/N: A little bit of mature stuff beyond this point)

But back at Canterlot Rino.... Had some other ideas. He slowly sneaked up on Roger who was naked... Meaning she only was in her coat except the helmet on her head. So he slowly ran his left fore-hoof up her inner right leg.

“R-RINO!... Not right now!” Roger said over the mic. Rino of course just grinned at her before moving his hoof up to her nether regions and slowly massaging it.

“R-Rino! God damn it! S-Stop! I am doing something important right now!” Roger said using one of her back hoofs to shakily push him away. This wiped the grin of his face for a few seconds before he got another bright idea.

He quickly made his way back there but instead of using his hoof... He used his snout. This caused Roger to go wide eyed in surprise.

“Son of a bitch!” Roger yelled out. She quickly used her tail to swipe Rino’s face away. “Damn it Rino! I said stop! I need to get Wash over here!”

Rino just lost his smile and sat on Rogers left side. “You never let me have fun.” he muttered under his breath.

Roger just sighed and looked to him. “Later alright? I promise.” Roger said with a smile which was hidden behind her helmet.. “Hell go and choose a mare. You’ll get that make session you wanted.”

(A/N: And here it stops.)

Now back to Wash!

“What was that?” Wash asked from his position.

“Oh nothing. Just a small relationship quarrel. Nothing too bad.” Roger said through her mic and the sound of something skidding out the door was heard.

“What a odd pair....” Wash mused to himself.

“Mic is still on hot stuff.” Roger said snickering.

“Well... Whoops.” Wash said.

“Ah it’s alright. I think I know the perfect girl for you.” Roger said. “Her name is donut.”

“Hmm... I’m not really intrested in a relationship right now.” Wash said with a little less cheery voice.

“Hmm. Too bad. She is looking for someone like you. Strong, commanding, has a nice ass.” Roger said. “You got a few more yards to go.”

“I know you like what you see, but girl you better calm down. You already got one guy to please, unless your a polygamist.” Wash said with a chuckle.

“Mmmmmmaaaaybe.” Roger said in a sing-song tone.

Wash’s chuckle then erupted to a laugh, in fact he laughed so hard that Roger started giggling at him.

“So who is the lucky other one?” He said after calming down some what.

“Maybe you if you don’t stop flirting.” Roger said.

“Me? Flirt? What are you smoking?” Wash asked a bit surprised before walking towards the village.

“Oh come on. Even Rino noticed it. And that is saying something.” Roger responded.

Wash just rolled his eyes before saying. “You are acting more like a little sister right now.”

“Oh so that’s what you’re into? Maybe I should reconsider.” Roger said snickering.

Wash chuckled before shaking his head. “You have one weird brain, but sure. Whatever you say.”

“You want to see weird? Try seeing your boyfriend tied to a bed with another girl and then throw said girl into a wall made of clouds.... Strange to say the least.” Roger responded.

“Meow.” Wash said pretending to stratch the air in front of him.

“Oh you’d like to see a cat fight wouldn’t you?” Roger teased.

“Probably would be fun... But it will probably end up with one of them crying, then its all taken up in the court.” Wash said a bit saddend

“Nah. Usually it ends with making out and booze. Believe me, I know.” Roger said sounding a little weird.

“Heh, that’s nice to know... Oh coming up on the village now.” Wash said.

“Alright... Just be sure to..... Rino what are you talking about?.... What do you mean she is just gone!?” Roger said sounding a bit panicky. “Um Wash? Tell me. Is there something BRIGHT pink anywhere around you?”

Wash looked around and saw nothing. “No... Nope nothing bright pink.” he said shrugging a bit.

“Okay.... I would slowly begin to step away from the town. Or just be as sneaky as possible going in.” Roger replied.

“Uh, I think that can be arranged.” he said bringing up hand to his face to clean up the visor. But as he did that he noticed that he was slightly glowing green.

“Wow... Dude you alright... You look... Green.” Roger said.

“The hell?” He said rotating his hand a bit.

“Ooooh.... Yeah this is the side effect. Just stay relaxed and it won’t hurt.... Too much.” Roger said sounding sorry for what was going on.

“Well... What ever it is... It can’t be that bad right? … Right?” He said as he put down his hand again and saw some thing look at him from the town. It looked like a miniature horse. “What the fuck?”

“10... 9... 8...” Roger began to count. “7... 6... Oh fuck it. Incoming shitstorm!”

As she said that into the radio Wash ran of taking cover behind a hill. He noticed that he glowed extremely more green before a bright green flash happened. After the light died down he tried to sit up but noticed that his arms were missing something... Namely his hands.

“This... What’s this?” he asked himself.

Roger hissed though the mic and whispered something. Then went back to a normal voice. “Okay we are coming to get you big guy. Hold on!”

He lifted one of his handless arms to his forehead and felt something stick out. “What the hell? Did my forehead decide to get a boner all of a sudden?” He hissed before trying to stand up. But ended up faceplanting.

He looked back and saw that his back legs were changed too, and that he had a tail... Which made him look like a miniature horse.

“Okay.... This, is the worst day. Ever.... Of all time.” He muttered to himself.

“Okay Wash we are coming for you! Just um... Sit tight!” Roger said before a loud humming was heard over the speakers.

“Yeah, I can barely move here anyways...” Wash said before he spotted something Orange. “Is that other guy.... Grif?”

“Wash! Is that you! Oh thank go-.... Wait your not wash.” Grif said as he shakily walked over.

“What the hell, It is me you idiot!” Wash hissed at Grif.

“Hmmm. I don’t entirely believe you.” Grif said as the sound of a giant firecracker going off echoed for a moment.

“Wha-” “Aw fuck!” Both Wash and Grif said at the same time.

“What the hell did you do?” Wash said as looked away from Grif. whom was getting blamed.

“Nothing! I think.... I am a pony god damn it!” Grif shouted before laying down and huffing.

“What?”

“Look. At. Me.” Grif said pointing a hoof at himself.

“New’s flash, I’m a pony too jackass.” Wash said annoyed.

“Yooouuurr not a pony. You have a horn.” Grif said getting up and walking over before tapping Wash’s horn. “See?”

Wash though felt like someone was violating him... Somehow via the fore head. “Watch it! Shit this thing is sensitive...” Wash said as he scooted a little bit away from Grif.

“Yeah.... So are these.” Grif said as two large wings spread from his back. “I scratched my back on a tree and I melted..... It felt great.”

Before anyone could say anything they heard a very angry voice bellow out. “FUCKING SHIT FACE MCGEE.”

“I’m guessing that was Roger on your team?” Wash said looking at the living garbage dump called Grif.

“Maybe... I need to hear more.” Grif said as one of his armored ears titled towards the town.

“Fetish much?” Wash asked Grif.

“Look who’s talking boner head boy.” Grif said.

“Why the fuck are your wings erect?” Wash said looking at his wings for a second.

“HEY QUIT STARING AT MY ERECTION!” Grif yelled at Wash.

“Oh god! So you really have a weird fetish!” Wash yelled in disgusted and tried to backpedal, but could not feel any of his limbs.

“Should I leave you two alone... Or can I watch how this plays out?” Roger said as she was laying a few feet away.

“That guy must have some weird fetish about you.” Wash said pointing a hoof in Grif’s general direction.

“Naw... He is too lazy to form a fetish.” Roger said standing up and walking over to Washington. “So you are Wash I take it?”

“Yeah, that’s me.... I’m guessing that you are.... Roger?” He said after thinking a bit.

She took a hoof and tapped his armored snout. “Bingo.”

“Uh, mind helping me some? I can’t feel my limbs.” Wash said painfully.

“That depeneds.” She took a hoof and punched his front fore-leg. “Did you feel that?”

“Is that a dent in my armor?” He said trying to see if his armor got dented where Roger punched.

“Yeah probably. Okay. Up you go!” She said using he metallic arm to lift Wash up and onto her back. “Comfy?”

“Ehh, If riding a girl count’s as comfy then I’ll be damned.” Wash said with amusement in his voice.

Roger just shifted a bit before her wings spread out. “Better? Or worse?”

Wash looked at the wings for a short while before realizing that she could fly. “Wait... You are a uh, Pegasus right?”

“I believe so. Why?” Roger said walking over to Grif.

“Aren’t your wings sensitive like...” Wash said as he poked a hoof at the base of the wing. “...Here?”

Roger’s wings stiffened and shot up, one of which hit Grif in the face, and she sat down letting Wash fall off. Then she turned around and brought his visor to hers. “Do that again... And I will break your horn off.” She hissed.

"Son of a bitch that hurt." Grif said as he climbed back to his hooves.

Wash instinctively moved his hoof up to his horn... Before he was realizing what he was doing and put his arm down again. “At least Grif got a wing to the face.” he said sheepishly.

Roger’s glare, even though it couldn’t be seen, continued till she flapped her wings a few times and brought them back to her sides. “Yes. Now if I pick you up again. Are you gonna do that?”

“Only if you want me to.” Wash replied with a small yawn. Roger just put a small dent in his chest plate before picking him up again.

“Watch it hot stuff. Or Rino might just get jealous.” Roger said pointing to said pony who was walking over the hill. Weirdly enough on his two back hooves.

“What’s up with his way of walking?” Wash asked.

“Yeah I know.... Kinda hard not to stare when he takes his armor off.” Roger said turning back to Grif. “Grif hold still so I can fix your wings.”

Roger moved his wings back into place, much to Grif’s displeasure. “Easy! These things are sensitive!”

“Shut up. Hey Rino!” Roger said putting his other wing into place and waving at Rino.

Rino gave a grunt in response then a yawn. “I’m bored.” was all that he managed to say.

“Hey Rino. Dare you to touch Wash’s horn.” Roger said shaking her back to jiggle Wash a bit.

“What!? Why would he do that?” Wash said with displesure.

“Because I dared/asked him too.” Roger said Turning to Rino. “Pwease?”

“What do I get?” Rino asked looking at Roggie.

“I’ll let you have your fun when we get back to the castle.” Roger said.

Before anything else could be said Rino ran over to Wash and touched his horn. And since Wash horn was extremely sensitive... He felt violated.

“Ugh... Why would you do this?” Wash asked with a shudder.

“Because fun.” Rino said after letting go of Wash horn.

“Thank you Rino!” Roger said, attempting, to nuzzle Rino with her helmet on.

Rino on the other hand was completely unarmored and was running around on his back hooves... freely, with other mares around. He quickly hugged Roger before running off somewhere.

“Hey Wash. Look.” Roger said pointing to the running Rino.

“That look’s.... Terrifyingly weird... But funny at the same time.” Wash said with a small chuckle.

“Eh... You get used to it. Okay mister weird boner. Ready to meet the ruler of this land?” Roger said walking over the hill.

“Weird boner? The hell is up with the names today?” Wash complained. “Wait... Did you say ruler of this land?”

“Maaaaaaaaybe?” Roger said almost questioningly.

“Sensitive wing lady.” Wash said “Answer my question.”

“Nah. I think I will leaving ya hanging.” Roger said as they neared a small group of ponies.

Wash adjusted himself so he was lying across her back instead basicly over it. So now his head was on top of hers. “You feel soft-ish.... Makes me want to fall asleep.”

“You should feel my mane without this helmet on.” Roger said smirking behind her helmet.

“Guessing it feels like a cloud?” He said with a small smirk of his own.

“Close, but no. Clouds are much softer.” Roger answered. “Also I would not dose off. The purple one is very punctual.”

“Oh god, I hate briefings.... They are so long and bo-” Wash said before he yawned loudly. “... Boring.”

Rino then came runing with a broom in his forehoofs swinging it wildly before screaming “Die you stupid fly!”

“Rino! Stop swinging that thing around and put some pants on!” Roger yelled at him.

“No.” he said in with a childish voice, before swinging the broom one last time. “Hey I got that little fucker!”

“Rino! Put some pants on or next time Rainbow comes after you I won’t save you!” Roger yelled stomping her real hoof.

“Wow... Good comeback.” Wash whispered to her. “Bet that both of you are extremely inmature.”

“I don’t wanna!” Rino said sitting down with his front hooves crossed.

“Rino! Look at me!” Roger said. “Riiiiiino.”

Rino slowly looked at Roger before tilting his head. “Do you want this?” Roger said turning so he could see her rump.

“Maybe....” He said slowly. “Okay, I do want some.”

“Then you will put some pants on.” Roger said nodding her head quickly.

“Awww.... But I feel free without pants!” Rino whined.

“Do you want this?” Roger said again.

“Fine.” Rino said as he got on four hooves and awkwardly walked away. After a short time he came back with pants on. “This feels weird...”

“And why did you feel everything else off?” Roger said continuing to walk.

“I wanted to feel free!” he whined “Not stuck in some armor for the rest of the day.”

“Tell you what. You carry this guy. And you can stay with out the armor, but you have to keep the pants on.” Roger said shaking Wash a bit.

Rino pouted before saying “Why can’t you carry him.

“Because he gave me a wing boner.” Roger stated looking to Rino.

“Wha?” He said surprised. And somewhat saddened.

“Yup. And I thought you would like to have a nice little talk to him about it.” Roger said grinning evilly behind her mask.

“No, no. Its fine. I’ll keep the pants on.” Rino said with a defeated sigh. “This Wash guy seems nice anyways. Don’t you agree?”

Roger looked to Wash before shaking her head. “Nah. I think I’ll take you over this guy any day. He is nice and all, but I don’t think he would quite... match up.”

“I know what you are referring to!” Wash said tierdly.

“Oh do you now? Well I wouldn’t say it because that.” Roger said pointing to a certain tall Alicorn.

“Who’s that?” Wash asked tilting his head somewhat.

“Oh no one special. Just the ruler of this place and the mover of the sun.” Roger said plainly. “Celestia meet Washington. Washington meet Celestia.”

“Mmmh yes.” Both of them mused at the same time. Since Wash was busy trying to sleep and Celestia was still, trying to read the news paper. Roger just lightly smacked Wash’s horn and took Celestia’s paper away.

“You get this back when you do your job.” Roger said to Celestia while tucking Celestia’s paper under her wing.

Wash had gotten off Rogers back and was rolling on the ground and groaning with pain. “That hurt...”

“Oh don’t be a bitch.” Roger said walking over to Rino and sitting down. “I think that went well.”

What she did not notice was that Rino actually was drawing something and was so engrossed that when she said that his left hoof accidentaly connected with the base of her left wing.

“MOTHER FUCK!” Roger yelled out falling to her side and whimpering. “That hurt.... So much.”

There was a loud groan from Wash “Now you know how it feels.”

“I tapped you. He punched me. Big difference.” Roger said groaning.

“Sorry!” Rino said sitting next to Roger looking a bit confused.

“Still! This thing is really sensitive.” Wash said.

“I will break that thing off and eat it in front you you!” Roger said slightly getting up before laying back down.

“Nasty! That’s really nasty!” Wash said Trying to get up himself all whilst Celestia looked amused.

“I’m really sorry Roggie!” Rino said a bit panicked that he had destoryed a nerve or something on his mate.

“I think...” Roger stands up and shows her wing sticking in a wrong way. “... That is not good.”

She just sighed and pushed Rino over with her bent wing under it. After he falls on it she pulls and a loud ‘POP’ is heard. “SON OF A BITCH.” She yelled as her wing relocates.

“All of a sudden I feel empathy for you.” Wash said. Getting a nod from Grif.

“Your both sooooooo nice.” Roger said as she removed her wing from under Rino. “Thank you for being a large fellow Rino.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Rino asked with concern in his voice.

“Yes...” She flaps her fixed wing and winces. “For the most part anyway.”

“I’m sorry... It’s just that you startled me...” Rino said in a hushed tone and was looking away from Roger. Roger just hugged him and sighed.

“Yeah I know. Carry me to make up for it?” Roger said using a cute voice as she could not do the puppy eyes wit her helmet on.

“Yes.” He said nodding with a small smile. Roger just took her helmet off and kissed him.

“Thank you!” She said happily. Rino just laughed quietly and saw that Roger had a few small stray tears.

“No problem.” Rino said as he used one hoof to wipe them away. Roger just smiled and leaned against him. Wash pain in the horn had disappeared and he noticed Rino and Roger just sitting there looking happy, he looked to his right and saw Celestia. He raised a eyebrow behind his visor before thinking.

‘What a odd pair.’ he thought with a sigh.

‘I know right?’ He heard another thought invade his mind.

‘The hell? Who was that?’

‘Who else but the pony to your right.’ Celestia spoke to him via telepathy.

‘Oh great... Get out of my mind, this is my sanctuary... Or well what remains of it anyway...’

‘Oh pshaw. Wow.... You were thinking dirty things about Roger.’ Celestia said looking around.

‘Erhm... My mind, my business! Besides, can’t deny she’s a good looker.’ he thought.

‘... And there goes the mental pictures.’ Celestia said as the images floated by. Wash closed his eyes behind his visor and when he opened them again he was in a giant black room with images floating around.

“What do you want?” He asked the white alicorn who was standing watching some images.

“Just making sure you’re not gonna hurt anypony. And if you do, I guess I can just have Roger hurt your horn. That seems to work pretty well for immobilizing you.” Celestia said looking around some more.

“Try hitting yourself on the horn then, see how much you like it.” He said with a tiny bit of venom in his voice.

“I had my horn burned by a laser. You ain’t got nuthin’ on me.” Celestia said glaring at Wash. Wash just looked at Celestia with disbelief.

“Right...” He said looking around seeing all his memories floating around in a mess. “Mind getting out before you discover anything that will mentally scar you for life?”

“Ever seen a pony completely drained of love or cotton candy clouds raining chocolate milk? I think I will be fine.” Celestia said.

Wash ignored her weird statements as he saw one particular memory he did not want to see... And it was floating this way. He looked back at Celestia.

“Would you please get out?” Wash said raising a eyebrow.

“Hmmm. Might as well.” Celestia said smirking. “Although I think you should see a therapist. You’re pretty messed up in here.”

“Yeah well I need to get Rino and Roger back to where they belong or else I might loose my job. And then my Mental Insurance goes away.”

“Why would they go back? Aren’t they happy here?” Celestia said giving him a questioning look.

“Sorry orders are orders. Can’t do anything about it.” Wash said looking at her.

“I can.” Celesita said simply.

“Well I’m not going to le-” He said before remembering that something was floating this way... but it was all to late for the memory got triggered, it was the memory of him getting implanted with that damned faulty A.I which caused him severe pain just watching the memory again. Not only that, but Celestia experienced this pain too. Whilst Wash just grunted Celestia nearly screamed out in agony of the sheer pain she was experiencing.

While they where doing their thing, Roger was trying to figure out where they had left Tucker.

“Rino? Where’s Tucker?“ Roger asked.

“He’s somewhere.... Probably reading his PlayColt...” Rino responded.

“Speaking of which.... Did you notice how that thing was like a phone book of porn? I mean did you see the thickness of that magazine?”

“Why do I need a magazine when I got you?” Rino said hugging Roger. “Oh and yes... That was shit ton of porn for one magazine.”

“I am surprised there isn’t a shortage of lotion.” Roger said looking off in the distance. This caused Rino to chuckle for a few seconds before looking at Roger.

Roger noticed this and looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. “What’s so funny?”

In stead of giving a proper awnser Rino pressed his lips against hers and pulling her in to a passionate kiss. After at least two minutes of kissing, they both had to take some breath.

“I love you.” Rino whispered.

“Love you too.” Roger answered back.

All of a sudden they heard a pained scream coming from behind them... Effectively ruining the moment. They whipped around and saw that Celestia was on the ground clutching her head with her front hooves.

“What’s up with her?” Roger said sighing. Rino just looked at Wash who was on the ground doing the same except rolling around.

“Something fishy is going on...” Rino said pointing a hoof at Wash.

Inside Wash head, they were reliving small moments of The Alpha’s torture. Which caused huge amounts of pain to course through their bodies.

“I told you to get out!” Wash scremed in his head.

“Then let’s leave!” Celestia yelled as they both were covered in a flash of light.

When Wash opened his eyes again, he saw that he was on the ground on his back with Rino looking down at him.

“You okay there?” He asked extending a hoof for Wash who gratiouscly accepted.

“Thanks.” Wash barely managed to say above a whisper.

“You want some meds?” Roger said holding out two small pills. “They are painkillers.”

He picked them up with his hoof and opened up his helmet somewhat and lifted it so only his mouth were shown. He then threw the pills in his mouth had swallowed them before asking.

“Got anything to drink?” He asked a little louder.

“Here.” Roger pulled out a small flask “It’s booze. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. It’s going to dampen the pain somewhat...” he said stretching out his hoof the grab the flask but felt dizzy instead. So he stumbled forward a bit before stabilizing. “Ugh..”

“Woah there big guy.” Roger said helping him stay up by standing against him as he stumbled..

“I should probably lay down or something.” Wash whispered before his knees buckled and he lost consciousness.

“Yeeeeah... Rino. You want to put this guy on my back again?” Roger said looking to Rino.

“Sure... I wonder what happened...” Rino said as he got up on his two back hooves and picked up Washington, and carefully placed him on Roger’s back. Roger just grunted a bit as her wing wasn’t completely fixed, but sighed as she just adjusted it a bit.

“Okay shall we adjourn back to the castle?” Roger said smiling.

“How?” Rino asked as he pointed a hoof at Celestia who was not looking so good.

“Hmmm.... Maybe like this.” Roger said as she turned the mega phone on and turned to the castle. “LUNA SUCKS AS A PRANKSTER!!!”

Before anyone could say anything, Luna appeared behind them looking very, very, VERY pissed off. She stomped over to Roger, who was just snickering slightly, and glared at her.

“Did thou say that we ‘Suck as a prankster’?” She said with venom in her voice.

“Maybe. Can you take us back to the castle?” Roger asked. Luna just snorted with anger and got into Roger’s face.

“Why would we do that after what thou said!?” She yelled. Roger just tapped her chin and thought. She smiled as she got her answer and said.

“Because you just got pranked.” Roger said plainly. Luna looked as if she was about to kill someone until her angry demeanor began to slowly slip away. Her face of pure rage began to twitch before she just burst into laughter.

“Alright, alright. we know when we have been taken for a loop. Very good job. Now gather around and we will.... “Then Luna saw Celestia. “Why is my sister on the ground twitching and drooling?”

“Uh... Well... She.... Did something.” Rino said looking at her.

“Oh... Well alright! Gather up your friends and we shall be off!” Luna said smiling.

“Tuuucker! Tuuuuuckeeeer! I’ve come back to- Wait.... Shit wrong person. Sorry.” Church said as he appared next to them.

“Church.... What are you doing?” Roger deadpanned.

“I’m here to look at your ass... No I’m here to annoy Tucker.” Church deadpanned back.

“I believe both of those excuses.” Roger said with a smile. “Even as a pony I still get the looks.”

“What the hell is up with that guy?” Church said as he pointed at Wash.

“Something that required boozes and meds to get rid off.” Roger said looking to Wash.

“Well... You’re going back to the Castle right?” Church said with a sigh

“Yeees. Why?” Roger asked.

“God damn it...” Church muttered before starting to fade out “I’m going to get Tucker and the others back here. I’ll see you in a few.”

“Kay... Bye!” Roger gave him a mock wave before sighing. “He... Is annoying sometimes.”

“I HEARD THAT!” Church yelled from some where.

“LICK MY FLANK!” Roger yelled back.

“Asswipe.” Church muttered before completely vanishing.

“Lifeless heap.” Roger said slightly growling. “Hey is Grif asleep? Or is he awake and confused like normal?”

“He’s..... Asleep. On the grass over there...” Rino said as he pointed to Grif who was laying on the grass sleeping.

“Well drag him over here and throw him on top of Wash I guess.” Roger said sighing.

“Drag who?” Rino said holding a hoof against his chin looking confused.

Roger just rubbed her real hoof against her temple and pointed to Grif. “Him. Drag him over and put him on top of Wash.” She said sounding tired.

“Oh sorry...” Rino said before walking over and grabbing Grif and procceding to drag him towards Roger.

“Just put him on top of Wash.” Roger said bracing herself for the extra weight.

“Okay... That sounded wrong.” Rino said a little bit disgusted.

“Your dirty mind bro.” Roger said smirking. “Oh damn it... Where did I put my helmet?”

“It’s ov-” Rino muttered before he flung Grif over his shoulder and on top of Wash “- over there.” He pointed his hoof in a direction and sure enough the helmet was on a table. Roger just grunted at the sudden heaviness, but simply shrugged a bit.

“Wou-.... Why is there a table out here?” Roger said looking over to it.

“Tuuuucker.... What the hell is a table doing there?” Church asked Tucker who was walking with him.

“How the hell should I know? I’m not a table god or something.” He responded with a scowl.

“Oh stop bickering or I swear I will crush Tucker with Grif.” Roger said glaring at both of them.

“That would be awesome, can you do it now?” Church asked hoping that she would.

“Hmmm. Get me my helmet and put it on me then sure, why not?” Roger said shrugging. Tucker of course just looked up from his magazine before looking at Rogers helmet. “Tucker.... Don’t you dare.”

Tucker quickly ran over and put down his magazine on the table before grabbing the helmet.
“What are you going to do now?” Church asked him with a amused tone.

“I don’t know? Throw it?” Tucker asked himself.

“Tucker you throw my helmet, I will make you lick the royal guards’ asses clean.” Roger said taking a step towards Tucker.

“Watch the sick guys.” Church said before slowly starting to vanish again. “Oh yeah I need to get Rari- something, Flutterbitch, Twi-smartass, Rapebow dash and overly obsessed with apples-jack.... Not to mention, some what of a sugar addicted pink blur... Pinkie pie.”

“You go do that... Wait. Church? Can you posses Tucker to make him give me my helmet? I will hurt him if you do~!” Roger said the last part with a sing-song voice.

“Not sure if I want to enter Tucker’s mind.... I have literary no idea what I will find in there...”

“He has been looking at a porn magazine for the past thirty minutes.... What do you think you will find?” Roger deadpanned.

Church took a deep breath before rushing towards Tucker, it almost looked like he impacted with Tucker. Except that Church vanished. After a few short seconds Tucker spasmed and walked towards Roger with her helmet in his hands. He gave it to Roger before spasming again and falling down unconscious, After a few seconds Church reappeared above Tucker’s body

“I’m never... Ever going back in there again.” Church muttered.

“So much porn?” Roger asked as she used one hoof to put her helmet back on.

“I had to delete at least 50 gigabytes of it just to fit in.” Church stated.

“I thought you were a ghost. What do you mean delete?” Roger asked adjusting her helmet.

“The mind can be measured in both memories and megabytes.... I prefer megabytes, it’s more logical.” Church said.

“Since when did you start using logic? Considering how many times you mess up it would seem you almost never follow logic.” Roger said.

“Since you weren’t a bitch.” Church said as a bad comeback.

“So you never used logic?” Roger said smirking behind her visor.

“You was born a bitch?” Church said with genuine surprise. “Damn, that reminds me of another girl I know.”

“Yes. Yes I was. When I was born I broke the doctor’s neck.” Roger said sounding almost... Happy about that.

“Oh I want to see that.” Church said as he walked toward Roger.

“Oh no. Unless you want to see a lot of dicks and gore you will stay away from me.” Roger said backing up a little

“Have anything to hide?” Church said amused as he took a few more steps. “Seems to me that you have a lot of things to hide.”

“Yes I do. And they are private. So stay away jack off.” Roger said letting Grif and Wash fall off her back as she took a few more steps back. What she did not expect was that Church just vanished. “Oh... God damn it.”

“Boo motherfucker.” Church whispered from her right side. Before vanishing again.

“Oh you want to play that game? You’re not the only one who can turn invisible.” Roger said as she slowly began to fade away as well. “Bye!”

Right before she turned completely invisible she felt like something entered her mind.
‘Shit, You got lots of junk in here.’ a voice said.

“Hey get out of my head!!” Roger yelled to no one in particular.

‘No need to yell christ, I’m right here.’ The voice again said. ‘You were not joking about the gore... But apparently about the dicks.’

“You try finding some help on a all girl team.” Roger said.

‘Tucker would love this place...’

“You get out now or I will conjure up all the gore and painfull memories I have.” Roger threatened.

‘The hell is this? Your childhood memory segment is like barricaded off.’

“Yeah... Some things are best left untouched. Get the hint?” Roger said growling a bit.

‘No, I never do. I tried at least one hundred times to change the future, except that i fucked up at lest two hundred times.’ the voice said before some shuffling was heard from inside her head. ‘I never got any hint at all.’

“If you go into those memories.... I am going to rig your robot body trap you in it and throw it in the ocean.” Roger threatened again.

‘I’m pretty sure that thing has a bomb in it any ways, Or something like that.... I’m not sure.’ the voice said over some more shuffling before something that snapped.

‘I’m pretty sure that was like that when I found it. Otherwise Tucker did it.’

“JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” Roger bellowed.

“You okay there?” Rino asked a bit concerned. Roger just forced herself not to yell again and gently said.

“Fine... Thank you.”

‘Expert liar, I like it.’ The voice said as something again snapped. ‘The heck was that?’

“You know what... Stay away from my childhood, and you can look anywhere you want.” Roger said. “And yes. I am a good liar. Helps when you get captured.”

‘.... Is that what I think it is?’ There was something metal that hit the floor. ‘What the fuck? You were close to getting raped once?’

“.....”

‘Well... I’m never entering your mind again..... After getting another peak at your memories.’

“Told you not to look in the childhood folder.” Roger joked with a choked up voice.

‘Sorry, I never really think about the thing I before I actually do them...’

“I am gonna replace all your body’s fingers with dildos now. Hope you’re happy.” Roger said walking back over to Wash and Grif.

‘Well... Guess I deser-’ The voice stopped ‘Gold... Seriously? You found gold once?’

Roger just let out a small sniff. “Yep. How do you think I got my arm?”

‘Oh that explains it.... Not bad though.’

“Can you leave now? I’d like to be alone.” Roger said.

‘But your head seems cozy, I might take a nap here.’ The voice said before she felt like something exiting her head. "I mean seriously, that place was real cozy...”

“Your still a dick.” Roger said with venom in her voice.

“Saw the memories you have of Rino.” Church whispered. “You should cherish them while you still have the chance.”

Roger just snorted and attempted to punch him, but failed. You know... Whole ghost thing. “Oh shut up. I know that already. Now please just leave me alone.” Roger said pulling Wash back onto her back.

“Alright, I will be back in five minutes or so.... Going to fetch Twi-Smartass first.” Church said before walking of in the distance.

“Why? We are going home.” Roger said as she positoned Wash on her back do he wouldn’t fall off.

“Back to that hell hole of a canyon? Not yet we aren’t.” Church said almost smirking behind his ghostly helmet.

“I meant the castle ghost boy.” Roger said as she walked over to Grif.

“Yes, but those weird six ponies actually can be some good company sometimes... Compared to Tucker.... Who is still unconscious.”

“What about me?” Roger said pouting behind her mask. Church just let out a loud laugh before completely vanishing. “Wow... Invades my mind and leaves without giving me a answer... How rude.”

Roger sighed as she tried to pick up Grif, but only got him halfway up before he fall off again. “God damn it... Rino I need your help over here!” Roger said sounding a bit cold.

Rino of course had been having fun poking at Tucker over and over. He was quietly snickering to himself whilst poking Tucker.

“RINO!” Roger bellowed sounding a bit angry. Rino jumped a bit before folding back his ears and walking over looking at the ground.

“Yes?” he said quietly.

“Please help me here , so we can go home and I can forget about this whole thing...” Roger said sounding a bit harsh.

“Okay...” He replied quietly before picking up Grif and puting him on Rogers back on top of Wash. He picked up Tucker and put him next to Celestia, who was sleeping. He then sat down.

“Okay Luna. Get us out of here.” Roger said sounding monotone now.

“HAAAAAANG ON!” Church came running with six mares after him... One who seem to have a ghost buster pack on it’s back. God damn Pinkie Pie... Where did she get that?

“I have managed to piss of every one of them!” Church yelled happily before adding “Feel free to teleport every one as I get close.”

“Go on Luna.” Roger said. Luna simply nodded and her horn glowed before a bright flash and the sound of a thousand firecrackers going off at once was heard. They appeared in the throne room where Roger promptly dumped the cargo on her back and began to walk towards the guest rooms. The mane six skidded in to a wall and all got slammed into it... And Church was nowhere to be seen.

“Hey Church? You want a safe haven? Just use my head.” Roger said while walking out. “Didn’t seem to mind before.”

No response came.

“Church?” Roger asked looking back. Church of course was standing In Ponyville still. Looking around for Roger and the others. He then realized a very important thing he forgot to tell everyone.

“Ghost’s can’t teleport....” Church said to himself before roaring “SON OF A BIIIIIIIITCH!”

Back at Canterlot there was a faint sound of someone roaring some thing.

“Did some one just scream ‘Son of a bitch’?” Rino asked looking around. Roger just shrugged and walked out sighing.

Church of course ran with all of his powers towards Canterlot... He soon discovered that he in fact moves ten times quicker if hes vanished than when he appears as a transparent spartan.

“HOLY SHIT THIS GOES FAST!” He yelled as he could not stop before slamming into the base of the mountain. He then proceeded to run up the path that was close by and less than a minute later he was at Canterlot castle gates. He quickly ran into the Castle and was now calming down to a walk, that’s when he saw Roger looking a bit sad and walking alone in the corridor.

He shook his head and walked up next to her before becoming transparent. “You are such a loner, you know that?”

“Say the ghost that was attacked by six angry girls.” Roger said glumly. Church chuckled at that.

“I had to do something.” He said shrugging a bit. “Instead of explaining I just did what I could to piss them off.”

“Sounds like how you went through sniper training.” Roger retorted. “Just piss people off and not do anything productive.”

“I take it you were in the same class as me?” Church said with a snicker.

“Naw, I just saw the records and security footage. They used it as a ‘What NOT to do’ video.” Roger said thinking back.

“That’s really nice of command, I must be famous all over boot camp by now.” Church said whistling a bit.

“Your the meme ‘Look at this.. BOOM. GOD DAMN IT!’ on the internet” Roger stated.

“Oh yay.” Church muttered. “Well, if that is all I guess I can leave you alone unless you want me in your head again.”

“I am just going to go sleep. Go ahead and ‘get cozy’ if you want.” Roger said as she opened up the guest room before walking in and opening another door to her room.

“Well in this form I can’t sleep unless I invade someones head... So um, excuse me.” Church said before putting a hand on Roger’s head and somehow vanishing straight in to her.

‘I never really get used to invading peoples minds...’ Church muttered from inside Rogers head.

“The feeling is mutual.” Roger said taking her helmet off and walking over to the bed.

‘Just so you know... The instant you close your eyes, you are going to enter your own little world... Which.... Well... It works both ways let’s just leave it at that.’

Roger just shook her head and flopped onto the bed before covering up and sighing. “Whatever... I just want to forget this stupid morning already.” Roger said as she closed her eyes. She opened them again and saw she was on a tropical beach. You could hear the wave of water slowly going up against the sand, the gentle wind sweeping in from the ocean and some seagulls here and there.

“This.... This place is my mind?” Roger said looking around.

“Your sub-conscious.” Church said from her left, he was sitting down in the sand leaning his back against a tree. “Pretty nice if you ask me.”

“To be honest I was expecting something more..... Gorey.” Roger said trotting over and sitting next to Church. All of a sudden a limb fell from the sky and landed in front of Roger.

“Does that help?” Church asked a bit surprised that something would appear.

“To be honest... Not really. I like the each being normal so...” Roger just brushed a pile of sand over the limb and sighed. “Church... Be honest how much did you see?”

“Well...” Church said before starting to think. “Not a whole lot... One or two memories tops I would guess.”

“I meant the memories of me as a kid.” Roger said glaring at Church. “Not the Rino memories.”

“I was talking about your normal memories, but they were a bit to odd for my tastes.”

“Yeah... Rape isn’t exactly a great topic.” Roger muttered.

“No, it is not... How old were you?” Church asked.

“Fourteen.” Roger stated. Church cringed. “Don’t worry though.... That was also the day I learned of my affinity of fire and explosions.”

Church sighed and asked. “Want to talk about it?”

“Do I really have a choice?” Roger asked.

“Well you could eject me from your sub-conscious and stick me some where else I can’t escape till you wake up.” Church said looking at her. “But I take it you want to talk.”

Roger just sighed. “Okay I am not going to go into detail, but here is what happened... Mostly. I was walking with my mother through the mall like we would every Saturday looking for something that might be fun to do with dad when he came home, Dad was a marine and he was coming home that day, anyhow. We stopped at this one store with a whole bunch of ‘Welcome home’ stuff.”

Roger let in a shaky breath before continuing. “Mom said to go look around, so I did. I looked for about twenty minuted before I found this one great little thing that I knew my dad would love. It was a simple golden combat knife with the etchings ‘I love you!’ in it. Surprisingly it wasn’t that much so... I picked it up and went to find my mom.” She stopped for a moment.

“Come here.” Church said holding out his arms. Roger just scooted closer to him and hugged him while a few tears fell from her eyes.

“Anyway... I went to find her and... I saw this man being mean to her... So I ran to help, but... there was this other guy with him... He grabbed me and well.... You can probably guess what he wanted.” Roger said slightly burying her face into Church’s armor.

“Yeah, but it’s okay now... Don’t you worry about it. You’re just fine.” Church said with a hushed voice.

Roger just nodded before continuing. “Anyway... As he was about to... You know. I saw a bottle of cleaner that a janitor must have left laying around. You know one of those aerosol cans. I sprayed him in the eyes and while he was blinded.... I took out this small lighter my dad gave me before he left... It um, looked like this.”

A small golden lighter with a red heart was shown in her hoof as she held it out. “Anyway.... As he got back up from the disinfectant spray to the eyes... I held out the lighter and lite it. And well.... I set that fucker on fire... I can still remember everything about that....” Roger said as the image of a man screaming and running around on fire was seen before it suddenly stopped. “Did the same to the other guy.... But... He… He.” Roger just stopped and sobbed.

“Schh. It’s okay, let it all out.” Church cooed. In the one of a million chance that he actually could be nice, this was the time.

“He fucking killed her!” She suddenly yelled. Church just hugged tighter, but not so tight that she could not breathe.

“We’ve all suffered loss. But it hasn’t stopped us from moving on.” Church said with a little shaky voice.

“I joined the army four years later... And well that is the end.” Roger finished with a choked up sob. “Now... N-now you know why I am a bitch.”

“I don’t blame you, not everyone in life gets a great start to life.” Church said with a gentle voice. “Not even me.” he quietly added.

“He heh...” Roger just chuckled and sighed. “Want to know how I got my arm?” She said smiling.

“Sure.” he said with a smile behind his helmet, you could practically see it.

“Well.... I got it a few months before I came here....” She began so tell, during that Church snapped his fingers and started up some music. It was Everything will be alright. - Joshua Radin.

'For what its worth... I'm sorry.' Church thought for himself before smiling.

If you actually want to listen to the song, here it is. in a link for you.
Everything is going to be alright.

Author's Note

Well, extra long chapter! With some minor Feels, minor Mature stuff and a shit ton of swearing...

I kinda got carried away with working... So people, don't expect me to post another 9k chapter in a long time, I'm pretty sure that I need to stop working for a while since I'm feeling sick. But I'll see what I can do. Also, I've pre-ordered Dead space 3 which is pretty awesome.... Another thing is I have biology test the same day as Dead space 3 is released... So its kinda a bittersweet day.

With that out of the way, as always, feel free to point out any error I've made. And either PM them, or post them in the comments below.

Until next time,
The Alpha.

Not really sure what I can name this.... I suck at names. (1/2)

Chapter 7: Not really sure what I can name this.... I suck at names. (1/2)

Whilst, Church and Roger were talking about memories inside her skull, Rino, Tucker, Wash, whom still is unconscious and Grif were all doing their separate things. Let’s follow Rino around for today eh?

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

As Rino stalked around another corner in this seemingly endless maze of corridors of a castle, he was thinking of what he would do next. He was contemplating if he should explore more of the castle, or take a walk. Of course he hadn’t seen Roger in a long time, in fact last time he saw her was during the morning and that was eight hours ago. Currently it was sometime around evening.

“What to do... What to do.” Rino muttered as he walked down the corridor trying to think of something to do. He slowly approached the guest room which, for some reason was almost empty except Roger who was sleeping in her and Rino’s room.

“Hmm...” He mused as he opened the door to the guest room. Then walked inside closing the door gently, he walked over to the table and sat down there. He looked around for a moment before again going back to figuring out what to do.

“Bored.” he muttered to himself before taking a glance at the fridge, where all the booze where. He got down from his seat and walked over to it, he opened it and looked through what they had, but for the moment he did not give a crap so he just grabbed a beer before walking over to the counter on his two back hooves, he then opened a random cabinet before searching through it and finding a spare saddle bag.

“What the hell is this?” Rino mused to himself as he saw a odd looking back pack. “Looks like a back pack combined with a saddle.”

He looked at it for another while before putting it on, he the put down the beer inside the bag along with some potato chips and a few cookies and also a pony comic. Which looked to have aliens in them, but not the sort Rino greeted with a knife to the throat... No this were the ones who ran around with laser pistols that said pew! Instead of a loud noise and next thing you knew was death.

He looked around and saw that he left the fridge open, which usually is a bad idea. “Tsk, tsk, tsk.” He mused for himself as he walked over and closed it, he then proceeded to walk back to his and Roger’s room. He gently opened up the door before peaking inside, sure enough Roger was sleeping. He gently opened the door before sneaking inside and tip-hoofing his way over to his helmet which laid on the table in the middle of the room. When he got to the table he put his bag on it before climbing on top of the couch and was going to take a nap.

As he laid down, he noticed Roger slightly shifting from side to side in her sleep accompanied by a few small whimpers. He thought about going over there and asking what was wrong, but something told him that he was better off leaving her alone. He gave the clock on the wall a quick glance it said six fifteen. He took a pillow and laid it behind his head before looking up in the roof.

“Well, I feel lonely.” Rino muttered before closing his eyes quickly telling himself that he was just going to rest his eyes a few minutes. After what felt like a few minutes again he opened his eyes and noticed that the room was missing most of its natural lighting. He looked at the wall mounted clock albeit with much strain on his eyes, he accessed his zoom and night vision on his cybernetic eye and checked the clock again.

Now it said nine thirty. “So much for a few minutes of napping” Rino muttred as he sat up looking around the room, he noticed that Roger was no longer in bed and that the room was closed. He carefully got of the couch and put on his back saddle pack thingy, before grabbing his helmet and putting it on. He tip-hoofed his way to the door before gently opening it and peeking outside. He noticed that this place too was empty, Except Church who was sitting next to his lifeless robot body. Rino did not really care about that and quietly made his way out of his room and out the guest room, before closing the door gently.

As he walked away from the guest room he heard Tucker speak with someone.

“Look all I’m telling you is that you should at least give it a read before you judge it!” Tucker said from somewhere.

“There is no way I’m touching that!” Someone said disgusted. Rino did not pay much attention to the conversation as he walked down the hallway.

“Bow chicka bow wow!” Tucker yelled again from somewhere. Rino just groaned and kept walking for a good thirty minutes, thanks to him getting lost a few times. He finally had made his way to the main entrance, as he opened the door and walked outside he saw that the sky was filled with stars, the moon shining and some small clouds.

“Well... That looks nice.” Rino said quietly before starting up his HUD and tagging objects of interest. He first turned around and tagged the main entrance, which now glowed a soft green for him, he then walked around the courtyard till he found the stature Discord, he looked at it for a few seconds before tagging it naming the tag ‘Weird statue.’

He then walked over to where he got back his rifle a few days ago. As he weaved through a few bushes and trees a bit way from the castle, but still in its courtyard. He finally found the opening where he had found Tucker, He looked around before finding his tree he slumped against when he first came here. He tagged the tree as ‘Chillax tree.’

He walked over to it and put a hoof against it. When he did he had a small flash back of a spartan holding a pony in her arms.

“You should really be nicer.”

“Maybe I should...” Rino muttered to himself before leaning against the tree for a few seconds before slumping against it looking at the night sky. He sat there for a few seconds just watching the sky and ever so often his motion tracker. After a few minutes he started up a song called ‘Rameses B - Moonlight.’

As the song slowly started up he could see the stars glitter even more than they used to, as the song then slowly started picking up he felt more relaxed, some might even say chilled down and as the song hit 2:46 lyrics got in.

“We go about our daily lives understanding almost nothing of the world.
We give little thought of the machinery that generates the sunlight and﻿ makes life possible.
To the gravity that glues us to the earth that would otherwise send us spinning off into space.
Or to the atoms that which we are made... and on who's stability we fundamentally depend.
Few of us spend much time wondering why nature is the way it is.
Where the cosmos came from.
Whether it was always there.
If time will one day flow backward.
Or whether there are ultimate limits to what humans can know.
What is the smallest piece of matter.
Why we﻿ remember the past and not the future.
And why there is a universe.”

Rino thought about what the guy said for a minute before trying to shake it off, but the song repeated it self.

“And why there is a universe.” This caused Rino to think for a moment, until he saw not only two shooting stars, but also a meteor shower. Fortunately for him, it was in high orbit causing the meteors to burn up when the reached the lower orbit, but still it was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He sighed deeply before thinking.

“What am I doing with my life?” He though shaking his head. What he failed to notice was that his motion tracker had picked up someone moving his way.

“Was I that much of a bitch you had to hide from me?” Roger said walking over smiling. Rino a bit startled from her speaking looked over at her, before smiling behind his helmet.

“I would never hide from you... Unless you are on you’re period.” Rino said looking at her.

“Oh har har.” Roger said waking over and sitting next to him. “Your soooooo funny.”

Rino gave out a small chuckle before looking back at the night sky. “I know right... So what brings you out here?”

“Just wanted to... You know... Say sorry for being a bitch earlier.” Roger said pushing a bit of dirt with her hoof.

Rino looked down at the ground before taking off his helmet. He looked at Roger before saying,

“Then you will have to forgive me for being.... Insensitive.” Rino said looking back down at the ground and sighing deeply.

“When were you insensitive? You have been nice this whole time!” Roger said nudging him.

“Me? Nice?” Rino said before he had a small flashback to when he was on the frontlines.

Rino just sat there looking forward quietly, this caused Roger to get worried.

“Hey! Rino!... You okay big guy?” Roger said putting a hoof on his shoulder. Rino shook his head as he was snapped out of his daze

“Uh, yeah... I’m fine.” Rino lied through a smile.

“You sure big guy?” Roger said smirking. “Because I can tell when someone is lying.”

Rino swallowed before looking up at he night sky. “Hm... Have you ever felt guilt?” Rino asked a bit curious.

Roger just looked away and nodded. “Yeah... All the time.”

“Have you ever had someone to call best friend?” Rino asked yet again.

“Yes... Once. She was part of my squad and then got transferred.” Roger said simply.

“Do you know if she still is alive?” Rino asked once more still looking up at the nightsky.

“Last I heard was she went to the front lines... But no... And I don’t think she is.” Roger said sighing a bit.

Rino sighed a bit before looking down, “I suppose this can wait actually. I rather just enjoy the night.” he said with a rather uncharacteristically sad voice.

“Alright...” Roger said leaning onto Rino’s shoulder. “Oh... And just so you know. We all got battle scars. Some may not be visible, but hell they are there.”

Rino was just quiet before looking at the ground for a few seconds he then leaned back and looked at the sky. “It’s beautiful... Don’t you agree?” Rino said professionally dodging the subject.

“Yeah... Luna does great work huh?” Roger said looking up as well. Rino just looked at Roger before nuzzling into her. Roger did the same before sighing. “Oh! I am just going to say this now... Church isn’t that bad. Kinda of nice once he ‘gets in your head’.” Rino just looked up with his cybernetic eye as his face was buried in Roger’s chest.

“What?” he asked although a bit muffled.

“He is just comforting.... Sometimes... Rarely.. Okay it’s a one in a millionth chance. But still he is nice once he is not being a dick.” Roger said resting her head on Rino’s

Rino just hugged Roger before muttering, “I don’t want to lose you... I don’t want to lose anyone.”

“Oh come on now!” Roger said hugging Rino, or well best she could anyway. “You’re not gonna lose me! Unless we somehow go back and change ourselves back, but to be honest... I am not sure if I want to go back. Yeah it’s fun blowing aliens up, but this place is pretty nice.”

What Roger could not see was that Rino had a few stray tears from his right eye. Since well, his cybernetic one does not have any tear ducts. Rino just kept nuzzling Roger as he was feeling a but out of character. Roger took one hoof and gently began to pet Rino’s mane.

Then she began to hum a small tune. After a few seconds she began to sing.

“I hurt myself today.
To see if I still feel.
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real.
The needle tears a hole.
The old familiar sting.
Try to kill it all away.
But I remember everything.” She gently hummed after that and slowly began to rock Rino back and forth before picking up again.

“What have I become,
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know goes away.
In the end.
And you could have it all.
My empire of dirt.
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt.”

She hummed again as she stopped and looked to Rino. “Feel any better?” She asked.

“A little bit...” Rino said as he hugged Roger tighter.

“Okay... Come on. Want to go inside?” Roger cooed.

“Ye-.... Yeah.” Rino said letting Roger go and sitting up straight. Roger simply smiled and stooded up before offering a hoof to Rino. Whom accepted gladly, he then got pulled to his feet and stumbled against Roger, who just giggled.

“I told you to walk on four legs.” Roger said. Rino just let ouf a huff before kissing Roger quickly.

“And I’m wondering why you don’t stop being beautiful.” Rino said smiling

“Sorry, it came with this wonderful personality of mine.” Roger said with a mock posh accent.

Rino let out a weak ha before coughing some. “You okay? I think you might have stayed out here too long.” Rino tried to awnser but it all came out as more coughs. He then wrote on the ground in some loose dirt ‘It must be a cold.’

“Oh goody. Now I get to dress up in a nurse outfit and tease you until you get better!” Roger said smiling. Of course Rino just went a head and kissed her before letting out a weak ha afterwards. He then got some sort of idea and looked for something.

“Oh what are you doing now?” Roger said as she watched him look around. He then patted something on his flank before opening a back that were there, he rummaged around in it before pulling out a bag of cookies and giving it to Roger. He then pulled out a beer, and was going to twist the cap off, before looking at Roger with a questioning glance.

“You uh... Want me to take it off?” Roger asked. He shook his head and wrote in the dirt ‘Want to share?’ “Oooh... Sure why not?”

Rino proceeded to twist the cap off before taking a swig of it, he almost immediately got his voice back. “Ahh... My throat was dry.” Rino said as he handed over the bottle to Roger.

“Thanks.” She took a swig from it before saying. “You know you probably just got me sick right?”

“More cuddling for us.” Rino joked with a smile looking Roger and getting lost in her eyes. Roger just smiled and gave him a quick kiss before taking another drink of the beer and hoofing it back.

Rino grabbed the beer and took a drink of it before saying, “It’s odd, back in out dimension or whatever, the beer tasted like crap.... Here it tastes like honey with.... Love?” Rino said raising a eyebrow.

“Are you trying to be romantic?” Roger said giving him a toothy grin.

Rino quietly laughed before saying “Maybe.” With a small smile. “Why?”

“I think you may need a bit work.” Roger said before kissing him. “But it’s sweet nonetheless.”

Rino took another swig of the beer before holding it out to Roger. “Want the last swig?” Rino said looking at her.

“No thanks. I got this if I get thirsty remember?” Roger said pulling a flask out of seemingly nowhere.

“I-... I actually forgot about that.” Rino said as he drank the last of the beer before setting down the bottle. “We should come here tomorrow, if we are not sick that is.” Rino said with a smile.

“Totally.” Roger agreed while putting the flask away. Then she looked up before sighing and standing up. “If you know what’s good for your personal space... Don’t look up.”

Rino just looked at Roger before trying to resist the urge to look up, but miserably failed at it. When he looked up he saw a rainbow colored tail hanging over the edge of the cloud. He just sighes and shudders a bit before Roger walks up next to him and nuzzles his side.

“Want me to go up there and get rid of her?” Roger said doing a ‘cute’ face. Rino just nuzzled back before nodding with a smile.

“Yes please.”

“Okay!” She walks away from Rino before spreading her wings and jumping as her wings flap giving her a hell of a boost upwards. She lands on the cloud with Rainbow peeking over the edge before she just shakes her head and raises her Robotic hoof. It separates into three finger like appendages before Roger grabs Rainbow’s tail and picks her up.

“Woah! Hey!” Raibow said as she saw Roger. “Oh... Hehehe.. Nice night?”

Roger just deadpans before grinning evilly. Then without waiting for Rainbow to say anything else she begins to spin her in a circle before letting go and watching as she went through a random window of the castle. Then she went to the edge of the cloud and yelled to Rino.

“How many points was that!?” Rino stood at thought for a few seconds before yelling

“Judging by the distance and the power, I would say ten-point-five out of twelve!”

Roger just pouted before saying. “Phooey. So close.”

“Don’t be sad! Come down here!” Rino said standing up on his back hooves waving at Roger. Roger just smirked before jumping off and diving at him before opening her wings and wrapping him in a ‘wing-hug’ as she tackled him.

“Quick enough for ya?” Roger said with sly tone. Rino just nuzzled her before giving her a heartwarming smile.

“I love you.” he said after giving her a kiss.

“I love you too.” Roger said before getting up. “Now come on... One of us is going to get more sick as it is if we don’t get inside.”
“Alright! Alright! I’m coming!”

“BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!” Tucker yelled from guest room, turning around in his sleep.

“.... Can I kill him? Please?” Roger said giving him the ‘cute’ face again. Rino looked at Roger before saying.

“Ye-...” He said shaking his head. “Why are you so cute?” Rino complained.

“Because I can give you the big dog eyes and... “She walked ahead and shook her flank a bit. “And I also got this as a secret weapon.”

Rino got his eyes stuck on her flank for a few seconds. “That’s so unfair.” Rino complained as he walked up to her.

“I know!” She said happily. “At least I didn’t flash you. I wouldn’t want to have to explain to the guards why you are flopping all over the place... If you get what I mean.”

“Ha... Ha..” Rino said sarcastically before walking past Roger, he walked towards the main entrance before forgetting to pick up his helmet. “Oh yeah.” He said as he turned around and fetched it before walking back.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

After a short while both Roger and Rino found themselves walking down the moon lit hallway of the castle. Rino of course, was clingy.... A lot more than before, this caused Roger to raise a eyebrow.

“What’s up with you today? You’re all... Huggy.” Roger said smirking a bit. Rino just nuzzled in to her neck a bit.

“I just realized how much I love you.” Rino said as he had effectively snuggled himself into Roger. Roger just wrapped a wing around his back before a newpaper fell out.

“Oh yeah.... Eh she’ll find it later.” Roger said as they continued to walk. Then Roger noticed something very peculiar. “Rino? You’re taller than me... Why am I the one being snuggled?”

Rino pulled his head back and looked at Roger. “You... You are smaller than me? … Ha.” he said with little amusement.

“Okay be that way!” Roger said mock pouting and pulling her wings away. “No more wing hugs for you.”

This caused Rino to fake pout too. “B-But... They were so nice.” he said doing puppy eyes.... Or well as best as he could as he actually have one cybernetic eye. Roger just humphed and pointed her nose up.

“Not going to work Rino. That’s my trick.” Roger said smugly. This caused Rino to tackle hug her and tickle her some. “Oh! Stoph! That’s ch-cheating!!”

Rino just ignored her pleads and kept tickling her. “I didn’t know that you were this ticklish.” Rino said with a evil grin.

“S-stoph!!” Roger yelled out laughing. “Rino I am warning you!”

“Or else what?” Rino said as he momentarily stopped tickling her.

Roger just panted a moment before looking at him. “One... Your evil.” Rino just held up a hoof to his mouth and faked hurt with a small gasp. “And two... You’re forgetting who has the feathers here.”

Rino just tilted his head before remembering that she was a pegasus. He looked at her before he saw her devilish grin. “Oh... Crap.”

“Yeah... Big time. You get five seconds.” Roger said getting up slowly. “Ooooone. Twooooooo.”

Rino just sprang up like a spring and ran down the corridor.”THREEFOURFIVE HERE I COME BITCH!” Roger yelled as she got up and rocketed after Rino.

“Shit...” Rino said a she glanced over his shoulder and saw that Roger was getting closer. “Shitshitshitshitshit!”

Roger just began to close in on him before getting right up to his face and yelling. “HEEEEEEEEERES ROGGIE!”

Rino of course stopped and tried to turn around and run away, but was held in place by something. Roger had planted her self on his back and was now holding him about one foot off the ground. “Hey Rino? What’s 400 pounds and is about to wet it’s self?” Rino just looked in confusion at Roger or well tried, since she was on his back it was pretty hard to look at her.

“No?” He asked in confusion. Roger just let her wings stiffened and let them drop before brushing them against his ribs and whispering.

“You...” Roger, even though Rino couldn’t see, was wearing quite the evil grin. Before Rino could say anything, Roger began to mercilessly tickle his ribs and sides with the tips of her feathers.

“T-This is so unfair!” Rino managed to say in between laughs. His laughs roared through the hallways since he could not restrain himself to laugh quietly. Roger simply nodded while she continued her feathered assaults.

“Finally give up?” Roger asked stopping but keeping her feathers on his sides just in case. Rino was now laying on the ground with Roger on his back, breathing like it was no tomorrow. He gave away a simple but furious nod, to show that he had finally given up.

“That’s what I thought.” Roger said getting off Rino. “Now... Are we going to go without anymore interruptions or do I need to tickle some more?” Rino just rolled over on his back and pulled down Roger on top of him. He then proceeded to kiss and nuzzle her. After a few seconds they broke the kiss and Roger sighed.

“What am I going to do with you?” Roger said smiling and sounding mock tired. Rino just smiled back before hugging Roger and giving her a kiss on the neck quickly.

“Oh I’d say you would want to keep me.” Rino said looking her straight in the eyes. Roger just looked right back before randomly chuckling. Before long she began to laugh like she was crazy, even lost enough breath that her legs gave out and she landed on top of Rino.

“Did I say something wrong?” Rino asked as he faked hurt. Roger just laughed for a few more seconds before she was finally able to breath. She was still chucking, but at lest she could talk and breath.

“I-it’s just... It’s just that if you told me that I was going to be here!” Roger said rather loudly gesturing to the palace and the world outside. “I would have shot you and laughed like a maniac before blowing something up!”

Rino just tilted his head and looked at Roger with a amused smile before gently guiding her off him and getting up before walking away.

“Hey! Where you goin’?” Roger asked as she got up still slightly chuckling. Rino just looked quickly over his shoulder before sticking out his tongue at Roger like a child and started to trotted down the hall. With one weird grin on his face too. Roger simply tilted her head before jogging after him.

Right as she got up next to him he just stopped causing her to skid right past him. “Heheh.” He quietly laughed for himself before sitting down and smiling at Roger who was sprawled out on the floor.

“Rino..... I have said it once and I will say it again... You’re a child.” Roger said huffing a bit before getting back onto her hooves.

“You know you love it.” Rino said with a wink before walking up next to her and accidentally bumping his flank into hers. Roger stumbles a bit before giving him a two second glare that just turned into a smile.

“When did you become so playful?” Roger said nudging him with her nose. Rino just brought up one hoof to her face and gently pressed her nose.

“Boop!” He said as he then brought it to his own chin. He thought about it for a while, before answering. “I’ve know you a short while.... But you are my girlfriend, so I guess I’m just enjoying myself.”

Roger looked off for a moment before getting a grin that Rino had seen many times before. Her evil grin.

“What are you planing?” Rino said looking at her with a tilted head. Roger just looked straight at him with that still evil grin of hers and just kept like that for a few minutes. “Hello? Ear- Blo-... Um... This planet to Roger! Is a Roger there?”

Before Rino could do anything else, Roger grabbed him by the face and kissed him for a good minute before letting go and saying. “TAG!”

Then bolted down the hall leaving a small trail of dust. Rino just sat there, dumbfounded, before realizing what just happened. He quickly sprang to his two back hooves and ran on them, surprisingly faster than he was if he tried to run on all fours. He came up on a cross road before looking left and right for Roger.

“Oh Roggie! Where are yooou?” Rino said with a grin on his face. Roger how ever was watching from a different angle and with a little help from her little inviso-device. She just quietly lowered herself, so was directly behind him, before tapping him on the shoulder.

Rino quickly spun around and grabbed.... “Empty air?” he said as he was confused, he looked around again he was certain that he was holding something but he could not put his hoof down on what. Roger how ever just smirked and bumped his nose with hers before saying.

“Peek-a-boo!” And kissing him again. Rino was dumbfounded for a few seconds before kissing back, he then hugged her before whispering a thing in her ear.

“Tag, you are it” He whispered before blasting off in a random direction. Roger just plopped onto the ground with a ‘oof’ before turning her active camo off. She just sighed and looked at all the halls. She hummed for a second before tilting one of her ears at the halls.

“Nuthin’....” She turned her head towards another hall. “Nothing...” She turned her head to the final hall and heard the faintest clicking of hooves on tile. “Gotcha!”

She giddily flared her wings before rocketing towards the noise.

Wash was just enjoying a late midnight walk, since he had been out cold for most of the day, he first had to get comfy with his body as he woke up... But that passed rather quickly, then he was all alone in the infirmary. He looked around before he had sneaked out and took a walk in the corridors, which seemed endlessly long. As he was walking down this corridor all alone he passed some guards that just nodded at him before continuing on their patrol.

Wash let out a somewhat sad sigh, mainly cause he felt alone. Which sucks tremendously. After a short while he heard some flapping of wings, and something that was approaching his position quite quickly. Thank god for motion trackers. “What the he-”

Before he could continue his sentence, something soft and heavy smashed into his side, latching onto him, and sending them both tumbling down the halls. “HA GOT YA!.... Wait Rino why are you wearing Wash’s armor? More importantly why did you strip him?” The pony said.

“That’s because I’m Wash? No one has striped any one of armor.” Wash from his lying position on the ground not far from Roger.

“Oh.... Wait aren’t you supposed to be in the medical area?” Roger said getting up and trotting over.

“Uh... No, I’m fine.” Wash said as he was trying to get up but a headache was stopping him. Roger just sighed and lowered her head to him. She noticed Wash’s curious... Well visor and sighed again.

“Grab my neck and I will help you up.” Roger deadpanned. Wash looked at her before sighing in defeat.

“Fine.” He muttered as he put a hoof around her neck. Roger giggled at his reaction and lifted him up back onto his hooves..

“I didn’t break anything did I? Other than your pride?” Roger said giggling again. Wash just sighed again and shook his head.

“Damn it.” he muttered under his breath. He then looked at Roger who was looking rather... Playful... “What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?” Roger said smiling and nudging his mask with her nose.. Wash sighed again before saying.

“You are much more playful than I remember.” Wash stated.

“Oh that... Me and Rino are playing tag!” Roger replied smiling wide. “Want to join in?”

“Tag? Really?” Wash said with a raised eyebrow behind his visor. “Why are you playing such childish games?”

“Well.... Because.” Roger said lifting her hoof. “TAG!” She suddenly bopped wash on his mask’s nose and ran down the hall smiling.

Wash just stared at her... Not at her flank you cloppers, he was staring at her. He stared for a few second before saying.

“Oh..... It is on!” Wash said as he bolted down down the hallway after Roger. Roger ran down the halls as she saw Wash skid around the corner after her.

“You won’t catch me slowpoke!” Roger taunted as she lifted into the air with her wings and sped up a bit.

“Cheating! That’s so much cheating!” Wash said as he ran after her.

“Nooooo... This is cheating!” Roger said as she sped around a corner. Wash followed, but as he turned the corner she was just gone and his motion tracker could not pick her up.

He stood there looking before seeing some flickering air move around. “I’ve got you now!” Wash said as he ran towards it. Roger just lowered the settings on her Active Camo so that she was a very faded Roger running around still smiling like a crazy person. She would have gotten away, but.... She crashed into the other pony playing, sending them both down the hall a bit.

“Oh hey Rino!” Roger said as she look down at Rino. “Wash is it by the way.”

Rino just looked at Roger who was smilingh sheepishly. He raised a eyebrow before seeing a Grey pony come running down the hall. Rino quickly grabbed the sides of Roger and held her down. “Hey Wash! Over here!” he yelled to Wash who just ran quicker.

“Hey! What are you doing!?” Roger said as she flailed a bit.

“Just holding you down....” Rino said with a evil smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You traitor!” Roger said flailing even more now. “When I get away from you!”

Before she could say more she felt Rino let go and scramble away, then she felt a hoof connect with her side before running away. “TAG! You are it!” Wash yelled as he turned a corner with Rino.

“RINO YOU TRAITOROUS BASTARD!” Roger yelled before launching herself down the halls again after the grey armored pony and his partner in crime. “GET OVER HERE!!”

“High five Wash!” Rino said as they had hidden in a supply closet for a moment to catch their breath, they saw that Roger sped past the closet and held their breath a while before high fiving each other.... Or well High hoofing.

“That was close.... We should split up....” Wash silently said to Rino who just nodded in response. Before they could leave they saw a set of hooves’ shadow under the door.

“Shit...” both Rino and Wash said extremely quietly. Before the hooves left they heard Roger humming a certain tune.

“Twinkle twinkle little star... How I wonder what you are?” Roger said taking a step closer and putting a hoof against the door. “Up above the world so high.”

She tapped her hoof against the door before getting back onto all fours and walking away. “Like a diamond in the sky.... Twinkle twinkle little s-”

Her voice stopped after the sound of hooves walking away was heard. Both Rino’s and Wash’s hearts was beating so fast they could have sworn that you could hear it through the door. Rino carefully opened the door and peeked out and saw that no one was there, he gave a quick nod to Wash before saying.

“Next time we meet... We meet as enemies.” He said before quietly chuckling with Wash. Then they heard Roger’s humming again. “Move!” he hissed as they split up and ran different directions.

Roger trotted down the halls still humming that old, old, old nursery rhyme and was watching every detail of the hallway. Roger just sighed in frustration. “Okay... Let’s go.. THIS WAY!”

She continued to run down the hall for a few minutes muttering curses every time she came up empty. She searched around until she saw a certain ghostly figure walking around. He apparently was scaring of guards, and laughing to himself. Roger, in her moment of childishism, ran up to him and smiled widely before saying.

“HEY CHURCH!” She yelled with her tail wagging sporadically. Church jumped a bit before looking at Roger with a raised eyebrow.

“Hi... Roger...” He said a bit confused why she was so happy.

“Want to help me play Tag!?” She asked smiling even wider. Church stared at her in confusion.

“Isn’t tag a one man game?” Church asked crouching down to get to her eye level. Roger just sat on her rump and shook her head.

“Nope! It’s a multi-person game! As many players as you want!” Roger said still smiling and tail wagging.

“Uh...” Church hummed as he looked around. “Ah, what the hell? I have nothing better to do.”

“Yay!” Roger said jumping up and down. Then she stopped before placing a hoof on her chin. “Wait a minute.... How are you going to play? You have no body.”

“I’ll just plant myself inside your head and when you need some one found near you, I can reappear a bit smaller and run around looking for them.” Church explained.

Roger just stared at him for a second before chuckling. “No offense... But that has to be the smartest thing you have ever said.” Roger said giggling.

“I have not been doing anything productive the whole day so my bra-.... Hea-.... Whatever you want to call it, is at full capacity.” Church said before looking at her wagging tail. “You are really happy aren’t you?”

“I haven’t had this much fun in years!” Roger said as she bounced in place for a moment. “Now come on my little sprite! Let’s go! Hop in my head already!”

“You got it.” Church said as he put a hand on her head and seemingly got sucked in to her since his body just disappeared from the bottom and top till it reached his fingers.

‘I’m in.’’ Church said from inside her head.

“Well what are you waiting for? Do your little mini you thing! I want to see this!” Roger said as she began to trot down the halls. All of a sudden there was a small blue light emitting from the right side of her face. It was close to the face, but not directly on top. As she looked to the right she saw a small spartan walking next to her face in the air.

“Okay... Now you have officially gone up on my Bad ass chart, Church.” Roger said picking her pace up a bit. Church just chuckled and ran next to her before motioning her to stop, he looked at a wall before running straight at it and through it. After a few seconds he came out again.

“Wash is hiding in there.” Church said pointing at the wall. Roger looked at it then pulled a grenade out. “Woah. Really?” Church said with a small chuckle.

“Oh fine...” Roger said pouting and putting the grenade away. “Hmmm.... Well. Time to be a ghost!” Then she remembered Church. “Oh... Um.. Imitation ghost!” She gave him a nervous chuckle.

Church just shook his head and disappeared, he then said something from inside her head.

‘You are lucky I didn’t take that offensively.’

“Sorry.” Roger said before actiavating her Camo and running down the halls. She turned the corner and saw the door to the room Wash was in. “Church... Scare or give him some type of warning?”

‘I’d love to see him wet himself, I need a good laugh.... Oh and don’t give him a warning.... He seems on edge already, lucky he didn’t spot me.’ Church said from inside her head.

Roger snickered and quietly, but quickly, opened and entered the room. She looked around for a moment until she saw a blond tail under the bed. Grinning evilly, she slowly began to step up up him. Then slowly she reached down and gently grabbed Wash’s tail in her teeth. ‘Church... One snide remark and I am ejecting you.’

‘.... You know how bad this looks?’ Church said shuddering.

‘Yes. And if you say anything I will give you a picture of Rino’s private area.’

‘I’d rather not see that. Shutting up.’ Church said before he became completely quiet.

Roger just smiled before roughly pulling Wash out and screaming. “YOU’RE IT BITCH!!!”

This of course nearly made Wash shit himself.He first of all screamed more or less like a girl for a few seconds before, he pretended to get a heart attack and since Roger didn’t know any better, she actually thought she had given him one...

“Well..... Did I over do it?” Roger said scratching her head. She walked over and poked his hoof. “Wash?” Then she poked his hoof again. “Wash?.....” Then she just began to poke him repeatedly.

“Wash? Wash? Wash? Wash? Wash? Wash? Wash?” Roger kept saying as she poked Washington. Church just appeared at Wash’s side before Roger started to panic. “Oh I really killed him didn’t I? OH RINO IS GONNA BE MAD!”

“Cal-” Church tried to say before Roger bursted out again with a small paniced rant.

“HowamIgonnaexplainthisIallweweredoingisplayingtagandthenIbegantosneakuponhim andthenIgrabbedhistailan-” Roger ranted.
Church put his hand on Wash armor and picked up that his heart was still beating. “Look hes st-” He tried to say before Wash sprung to life and tagged Roger back before running out of the room. “HAHA YOU ARE IT!”

“That........ Genius” Roger said slumping a bit. Church looked at Roger for a bit before thinking.

“How about we even the game a bit? Let’s go wake up Tucker.” Church said looking at her.

“You know as well as I do that he isn’t gonna get up... How do y-......” She slowly looked to Church before glaring. “No... No way.”

“Oh come on! It will be fun!” Church said.

“I am not getting groped by that creep!” Roger said shuddering.

“Look, just get me into his room and I’ll wake him up.... With a major head ache.” Church said.

“No then he will just be grumpy and make more smartass remarks.... Wait.. I think I have found a happy medium!” Roger said hopping up. “But I am still not going to like it. Come on! Let’s go!”

“Okay...” Church said as he vanished again. ‘So where are we going?’

“To Tucker... But I am going to give him the teasing of his life!” Roger said grinning evilly as she ran down the halls. Before she heard something getting pressed from inside her head.

‘Recording is on and.... Oh hey Roger, I didn’t know that you were standing there.’ Church tried to miss lead her with some nonsense.

“Church.... Dirty pictures of Rino.” Roger threatened as they neared the guest room. Church just sighed and pressed a few other buttons. ‘Fine.’

Roger walked in and headed to the room with Tucker in it and gently opened the door. She trotted in and saw Donut in his armor again only sleeping on the couch instead of the bed, which Tucker had practically claimed the bed. Roger just walked over and gently nudged his hand.

“O~h Tuuuuucker!” Roger gently said in her best sultry voice. ‘Okay, this is going to go bad really fast...’

“Ugh... What? Go away Donut.” Tucker said as he was trying to sleep.

“Oh... Is that what I get for finally coming to the right guy?” Roger said playfully again nudging his hand. Tucker’s hand went up to Roger’s face for a few second before Tucker stirred a bit.

“Roger... What brings a fine lady like you to my bed?” Tucker said with a suggestive tone.

‘Church? your in my head right? Try and lower my aggression so I DON’T kill him kay?’ Roger thought.

‘I’ll do what I can, no promises!’ Church responded in her head.

“Well... I couldn’t find Rino... So I went with the next best thing.” Roger said talking a few steps back to try and lure him out.

‘Jesus! Keep the guilt feelings in check Roger!’ Church said in her thoughts. ‘They are all over the place!’

‘You try and say that to your next g-... Nevermind. Low blow... So sorry.’ Roger thought.

Church was just quiet for a few seconds before saying something to her. ‘Might want to focus... I’m pretty sure that he’s just about to-’ Church said before Roger felt some thing press against her lips. Roger’s eyes widened before she pushed Tucker off and walked to the door slowly.

These were her current thoughts.
‘I am gonna kill him.... He is going to die.... And It will be by my hooves.’
And
‘OHGODOHGODITTASTEDLIKELIKESWEATANDBEEROHGODOHGOD’

‘And that’s why you don’t get en engrossed in your thoughts’ Church said a bit grossed out. ‘At least I feel some sympathy... I also felt how it was to get kissed by Tucker a few seconds ago.’

before Roger got to the door she felt something grab her by the stomach and pull her back. “Where are you going, baby?” Tucker asked quietly draging her back.

‘To get away from you in hopes I don’t murder you.’ Roger thought as she fidgeted a bit. “Just to get.... Um... Ready?” Roger said almost questioningly. Of course a few seconds later she was lifted up on to the bed. She felt a hand run after the length of her spine.

“Who needs to get ready when the love doctor is right here?” Tucker asked with a suggestive voice. She felt that the hands were moving closer and closer to her rump and Church of course was scrambling around in her head trying to calm her down.

‘I’m going to kill him Church.’ Roger thought hastily. As she moved away a bit.

‘No need to jump to conclusions!’ Church said back. ‘Let’s just run away! It seems most logical.’

‘I claim all the rights to hit his groin if he tries to stop me.’ Roger stated as she looked to the exit. Roger slowly moved away from Tucker’s hands before moving to the edge of the bed. ‘You know.... Tucker is out of his armor completely.’ Church whispered as again she felt hands pick her up.

‘THINKING FAST.’ Roger thought before putting a hoof on Tucker’s shoulder. “Hey Tuck wait!” Roger said.

“What is it?” Tucker asked. Roger just silently gulped and shuddered.

‘Church you tell this to anyone... And I am going to make sure to program your body to do the splits with every step.’ “It’s just... I... Want to be on top.” Roger forced out. Church was quiet a while before starting to laugh, probably so loud that you could hear it from outside her skull.

‘That.... That! It was gold! I managed to record it too!’ Church laughed at Roger. Roger stared off before thinking of a very intimate thing.

‘Suck on that blue boy.’ Roger thought as she called the dirty images to mind. ‘And delete that stupid recording!!’ She then heard lots of gaging noises coming from Church. ‘Gonna get rid of that recording or do I need to show something even worse?’

‘It was a joke! Oh go-!’ Church said covering his eyes.

‘Going to be good now?’ Roger thought as she felt herself get put down by Tucker.

‘Yes Ma’am.’

‘Good Church. Want the memory of a beer to help with those memories?’ Roger teased. Church just tapped the floor twice. ‘Focus that guy is close to doing something again.’ Church said being all serious.

‘Church you area witness, if anything gets put in front of my face I am biting it off.’

‘Oh like you mean like his c-’

‘You want to see that huh?’ Roger thought as she hopped off the bed and bolted for the door. You could almost hear the words ‘NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE’ as she ran away and out the door.

‘That was like two seconds.... from the bed to the door, you work out or something?’ Church asked from inside her head.

‘Have you seen my ass? Of course I work out!’ Roger thought as she was jogging towards the door to the hall.
‘Dat a-’ Church began.

‘Church.... I already showed what Rino has. Want me to show you what he does with it?’ Roger threatened again as she practically ripped the door off and ran out.

‘Why not go wake up the girls..... Do something and make them all chase you before tagging one of them.’

‘But Church. That would en.... Oh yes.’ Roger’s face adorned the most evil grin she has ever done. “I am going to get my revenge on both of them.” Roger said turning back towards the room.

‘What you thought I suggested that you had sex with them? Not that I mind of course’ Church said with a amused voice.

‘Oh no. But a certain pony and a certain person are going to be able to do so!’ Roger thought as she walked back in and went straight to a room with a rainbow colored lighting bolt emblem on it. Then slowly she opened the door and walked into Rainbow Dash’s room before going to her bed and smiling evilly.

‘What are you planing?’ Church said as he tilted his head, in her head. Roger just grinned evilly before gently grabbing Rainbow and putting her on her back. Then she walked over to Tucker’s room. Opening his door quietly, she walked in and ran to the bed before putting Rainbow next to Tucker and bolting out. She quickly left the room and shut the door as quickly, but quietly, as she could.

“Now to wake the others up.” Roger said smirking. Church appeared by her side before asking.

“And how are you planing that?”

“Simple.” Roger said shrugging. She walked over to a door and pulled out a small grenade. “Smoke’em out!” She grinned before pulling the pin and tossing one smoke grenade in each room.

“Clever girl.” Church said as he just vanished.

“Thank you!” Roger said before hearing clattering from each door. “Time to run! Wings don’t fail me now!”

‘Alright... What are you planing?’ Church asked.

“Running like a maniac until I find Rino.” Roger said plainly before bolting over to the door.

‘Sounds like a plan.’

“Look... If your girlfriend was getting chased by six different women wouldn’t you come running?” Roger said as she opened the door.

‘Uh... Hard question.’ Church said.

“BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!” Tucker yelled from his room.

‘How the fuck?’ Church asked himself.

“I stopped listening after b.” Roger said as she ran out of the room followed by five angry mares. Excluding Rainbow Dash who was stuck in the arms of Tucker.

Author's Note

Okay 8k? Really? I need to notice where the fuck I should end things. Oh and yes... This is from my blog post.

"In a few weeks, my eldest uncle is going to have his funeral.
It's on the 10th of January, which sucks tremendously since I can neither go to pay my respects, cause of exams. Nor can I write that day, since my dad is going to the funeral.... So I'm probably going to have to stay with a friend over Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'd probably go home on Monday."

So yeah, That aside... I'm grumpy, tired, annoyed and thirsty. And getting me some sleep. I'm not going to release anything during whole next week due to tests. So all of those who don't like it can go shove it, not in the mood for super apologetic things right now.

And as always, feel free to post any error you have found in the comments below.

With my emotions being all over the place, I say till next time.
The Alpha

Not really sure what I can name this.... I suck at names. (2/2)

Chapter 7: Not really sure what I can name this.... I suck at names. (2/2)

Roger was running as fast as she could down the halls as she was being chased by five angry mares. Roger took a brief moment to look behind her to see the angered faces of the mane six minus one. She let out a chuckle before opening her wings and giving herself a small boost.

“Church! I think I might have to pull out my fail safe!” Roger said as she rounded a corner.

‘Huh?’ Church mused from her head.

“I may or may not have to play the pitiful act to Rino to get me out of this.” Roger said narrowly dodging a guard. “You know, quiet sniffles, teary eyes, and the sweet voice.”

‘Need help?’ Church asked looking at passing memories.

“Uuum... Yeah. Get a sad song or something.” Roger said as she jumped over a maid. “I will start to call for Rino alright?”

‘Uhh.... Where is the sad deparment?’ Church asked in her head.

“Try looking for Music/ Sad.” Roger said sarcastically. “You said the mind was like a computer or something... Just go off of that!”

‘Okay... I guess I’ll try...’ Church said hesiantly.

“Alright and I will call for Rino.” Roger said as she took a deep breath and yelled out. “RINO!! HELP!!”

‘Does this work?’ Church said as he started up some random sad music from inside Rogers head. Ever so slowly tears began to come to Roger’s eyes.

“Yeah that is working just fine! Now to get Rino. Where ever he is.” Roger said before calling out to Rino again.

‘If you say so.... Why is there a memory of prom here?’ Church asked.

“I was still a girl before the army.” Roger said sounding annoyed.

‘No you were a bi-... Oh right you are trying to fake sad. So it’s best for me not to make you pissed.’ Church said sounding amused.

“Good move fairy boy.” Roger said before calling Rino’s name again. “Augh where is he?”

‘Probably sleeping’ Church said going around in Rogers head before finding something funny. ‘Oh hello awkward section’

“Church I still have at least four hundred dirty memories if you want to see them. “Roger said slightly snarling. “God damn it. RINO!!! HELP!!” At the same time a door opening was heard inside Rogers head.

Rino looked around the corner. “Who the hell keeps shouting my name?”

Roger simply tackled Rino before getting off him and going behind him to try and make herself as small as possible and slightly whimpering. ‘Am I doing good so far?’ She thought to Church.

‘H-... How... are you possibly keeping in character... I’ve never seen a bitch like you manage to stay in character this long before bursting out and killing some one.... Pardon my french.’ Church asked in disbelief.

‘Ever gotten captured by a elite and needed the quickest way to confuse one? This is how. Be pitiful as possible and it will think twice about killing you on sight.’ Roger responded. ‘And what kind of crazy chicks did you go out with?’

‘You are one of the most confusing girls of fucking history... Oh and I dated a chick called Alison.’ Church said not caring much.

‘Huh... Must of been a riot at parties.’ Roger thought. Then she whimpered a bit more as the of girls got closer to her and Rino.

“Whats up with you?” Rino asked a bit confused before hugging Roger. Roger just pointed a shaky hoof at the mane five and whimpered a bit more.

“I was just playing a j-joke and they got r-really mad at m-me.” Roger said getting more teary eyed.

“Who in their right mind would get mad at you?” Rino asked shaking his head. Roger just whimpered even more and buried her face into Rino’s chest.

“What kind of joke did you do?” Rino asked slowly stroking Roger’s mane.

“A-all I did was do a small smoke grenade! I used to do it to my Sargent all the time and he would just laugh it off!” Roger said almost bursting into tears. ‘I think I am doing pretty well. Aren’t I?’

‘This is freaky.... And somehow awkward.’ Church said feeling awkward.

‘How is it freaky?’ Roger thought.

‘This is not like you... Just sayin’.’ Church stated.

‘Is it like a big murdering machine like Rino to be comforting opponent from a different team?’ Roger said.

‘....’ Church remained quiet.

‘Yeah. That’s what I thought. Hehehe... Puns.’ Roger thought.

‘You suck’ Church said as he opened another door. ‘God damn this place confuses me.’

‘Shhhh... Rino is saying something.’ Roger said.

“This.... This is not like you.” Rino said narrowing his eyes. “I’m pretty sure you would just beat them all up.”

“B-but...” Roger said looking up at Rino with puppy dog eyes. “B-but they got mad at me for a silly little joke! And I can’t beat up ponies! Not unless they are guards or Tucker....”

Rino just remained quiet before letting out a little laugh, he then kissed Roger passionately.

‘Ewww.... Although it does feel nice. Still gross though.’ Church said from inside Rogers head.

‘And you say that I am strange.’ Roger thought.

‘Shut up, a kiss is always nice, just had to see it from your prespective to see that it was a bit..... gross I guess...’ Church said more like a question than a comeback.

‘You have to admit thought. Kinda surprising for a guy who is always killing to be good at this.’ Roger thought to Church.

‘Yeah... Can’t say much about that.’

‘Oh go back to my mind’s couch. Or where ever you have been staying.’ Roger thought as the kiss ended.

“I’LL PROTECT YOU MY LOVE!” Rino dramaticly said.

‘Lol Wut?’ Roger thought as she tried to surpress a giggle.

‘What the fuck?’ Church said before laughing out loud.

‘Are we going to mock him about this later?’ Roger said as she laughed inside her head with Church.

‘Oh god yes!’ Church almost yelled with glee.

“....” Roger remained quiet in a effort to not burst into laughter while the mane 6 minus one walked up to Rino and Roger, whom was hiding behind Rino.

‘Hey Church guess what?’

‘I won a million dollars? And I can finally get away from blo-... oh wait that's already done except the winning of a million dollars.’

‘Nope. TWURLURGHT SPURKLE!!!’ Roger shouted in her head.

Church just remained quiet for a few seconds before laughing hard and loud. ‘Best name I’ve heard for that smart ass bitch.’ he managed to get out between laughs.

“Rino have you seen Roger?” Twilight said looking around. ‘How does she not see m-... Oh right. Rino is a 400 hundred pony.’

“No, why?” Rino said and asked at the same time.

“Well. She thought it would be funny to fill our rooms with smoke while we slept!” Twilight said sounding rather angry.

Rino laughed at that and increased his hold around Roger. “That sounds actually quite funny.”

“How is that funny!?” Twilight said confused. “That is very dangerous!”

“But danger is fun!” Rino said looking over his shoulder with a evil grin.

‘Something is a miss, be on your guard.’ Church said in a medieval kind of way.

‘Why?... You think Rino is planning something?’ Roger thought.

‘He might be... by the look on his face I’d say hes planning something.’ Church said.

‘He has... Well I know that look. You might want to leave later.’ Roger thought.

‘Well that was too much info. Better say to tucker so he can join you tw-’ Church said before he got cut off.

‘Church finish that sentence I will make you stay and watch.’ Roger threatened.

‘-o.... Shit.’ Church finished before he could stop himself.

‘You dun fuggered up boy.’ Roger said.

‘I dun goofed.’ Church muttered to himself. ‘Well I’ll just take my leave anytime soon.’

“How is danger fun!? The only pony that would agree with you is Rainbow! Where is rainbow anyway?” Twilight said looking around.

“I put her with Tucker!” Roger whispered to Rino.

“How danger is fun? Well..... That depends.” Rino said. “It might be cliff jumping dangerous, or flying dangerous either way... Done right, danger can be fun!”

“That..... Is a good point actually.” Twilight said a bit dumbfounded. “That doesn’t excuse why she did that! I don’t think she even had a reason!!”

This caused Rino to raise a eyebrow, since he had no clue what Roger did it for. He slowly turned towards Roger before glaring a bit.

“I was just trying to get them to join our game!” Roger defended still giving him the teary puppy dog eyes.

“Ta- … You sneaky-” Rino said loosening his girp a bit.

“Sneaky what?” Roger whispered playfully, but still giving him the sad act.

Rino then let go of Roger and stood up. “Shes right here.” Rino said, pointing at her.

“Blast! Foiled again!” Roger said almost immediately perking up. Then she kissed Rino before smiling and saying. “Toodles!” And bolting down the hall.

“Oh you!” Rino yelled before running after her, with twilight and the others who were confused as fuck.

“What... What just happened?” Twilight asked looking to the other girls. Then Roger came back and tapped Twilight on the nose.

“Tag! You’re it!” Roger said before bolting back down the hallway. Of course Rino did the same, in fact, where he was standing was a dust pony... Formed from all the dust that was on the ground. Twilight stared off for a moment till her childhood made her do one thing that went against everything she knew.

“Oh... YOU TWO ARE SO GOING TO GET IT!” She yelled out smiling and running after Rino and Roger.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Morning: 7:00)

After a long night of night of running, pranking, teamworking. They all called it a night because it was getting early.... But two love birds had some fun before sleeping... In a very intimate manner, then we had a mentally scared ghost afterwards. And also, somehow Rainbow forgave Tucker. I have absolutely, positively, no idea how she found it in herself to forgive him, but she did.

Now slowly, Rino was stirring a bit, with a pounding headache. He brought his free hoof up to his head and groaned. This caused him to accidentaly wake up Roger who was snuggled in to his chest.

“Mm Stop yelling.” Roger said waving a metal hoof in the air. “I’m trying to-” she let out a small adorable yawn. “-sleep.”

Rino just chuckled before trying to sleep again but his head would not allow him. “Ugh, god damn it my head is killing me.”

“There is aspirin in the bathroom.” Roger mumbled into his chest. Rino then tried to move but Roger was pretty much holding him in place.

“Uh... Roggie move please.” Rino said quietly

“Mmm nooooo....” Roger said. “Your too soft for that.”

“Oh come on...” Rino said more quietly.

“No!” Roger said childishly.

“Come ooon.” Rino pleaded.

“Noooo! My Rino.” Roger said holding on tighter now. Rino then proceeded to try to wiggle out of her grip.

He groaned a bit. “Oh damn.... my head.” he said

“If I let you go and get aspirin will you come back really fast?” Roger said looking at him with sleeply eyes. Rino just nodded and sleepily kissed Roger. She smiled and released him from her grip and let him get up. Rino then just rolled of the bed and crashed down at the floor face first.

“God damn it.” he mumbled.

“Stop yelling.” Roger mumbled from the bed. Rino then got up and sleepily walked over to the bathroom. When he got into the bathroom he looked around and saw a pill bottle, he walked over and inspected it before he saw the label. “Aspirin.”

He unscrewed the cap and took out two pills. one too much, but he didn’t really care. He just put the lid back on filled up a glass of water before grabbing the two pills, throwing them in his mouth and drinking them down with water. He swallowed the last of the water and put the glass down, he then stumbled back to the bed and climbed on top of it.

He walked over to Roger’s side and crawled in under the covers. Roger simply grabbed him again, but sadly she forgot that one of her arms was metal so when Rino left.... It might have gotten a bit cold.

“Ahh! Cold!” Rino quietly yelled.... Somehow. Roger just mumbled a sorry before Her metal arm warmed up a bit.

“Better?” Roger sleepily mumbled out. Rino just nuzzled Roger affectionately before trying to sleep with his throbbing headache that would disappeared in thirty minutes.

“I love you.” He groggily said.

“MM love you too.” Roger said as she nuzzled into his chest a bit more and sighed as she got comfy. Rino just snuggled into her before slowly drifting asleep.

But what they did not know was that... Somewhere out there, Wash was still hiding. ‘Wonder if the game is over?.. No they are just trying to trick me! Oh I will show them!’

Author's Note

Yay! New chapter! Oh wait a minute! Its only 2K?! What blasphemy is this?!

So yeah, I had little ideas how to make this longer, so I'm going to base the next chapter on I guess a villain or something, I don't know... We will see with the time, oh and yes, soon my Swedish final's are. So I really need to stop working on my stories for a while and get back on track with study, but of course, if I do that I disappoint you guys and I don't want that... So its a hard choice. Not to mention my Uncle's funeral which I'll hopefully be attending to.

Oh and yeah, I might do a Q/A Thingy later, I'll live stream my answers and such. It could be any question, any question at all... Except rasistical ones and stupid ones like, "Do you fap three times a day." Tell me if you would like this.

Anyhow, that out of the way. Feel free to point out any errors I made and post them in the comments below or PM them.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Till next time!
The Alpha.

Best chapter ever.... Of all time (New name anyone?)

Chapter 8; Best chapter ever.... Of all time (New name anyone?)

WARNING: This chapter contains brief sexual themes. Nothing super serious, just some small things.(Buh da tish)
DO NOT take this chapter too seriously, no matter what anyone says.

Also. Rated R. For RANDOM AS FUCK.

Everyone was happily sleeping in their beds with smiles and happy dreams. While poor Wash was still being paranoid in his closet of hiding.

‘I can’t believe no one has found me yet!’ He thought. While he was being his crazy self, everyone was starting to wake up and go to the dinning hall to enjoy their breakfast. They all greeted each other the traditional mumble of ‘good morning’ or ‘hello’ as they walked down the halls with hands and hooves rubbing the sleep out of their eyes, and their manes frazzled crazily.

Or at least I think they were frazzled, it’s been a while since last I had contact with a girl, don’t blame me! It was her fault, not mine!

CALM DOWN!... Onward with the story.

They entered the dinning hall where Celestia was at the end of the table eating her breakfast elegantly, while drawing in great detail... With crayons on a piece of parchment. Meaning just randomly scribbling all over the page with no idea or picture to physically be seen.

There was at least 120 scrolls of random furious scribblings, on the side of her seat and a even larger pile of crumpled up scrolls sitting in or around the mountain of trash that had encompassed the trash can. Celestia sighed as she took the scroll and crumpled it up before throwing it at the mountain of trash.

“Why is this so hard!?” She yelled out in frustration at the box of colors and parchments, before opening it up and grabbing a new parchment with some new crayons.

“I BUCKING LOVE COLORING!” She yelled out as she started furiously scribbling on the parchment. She was in fact scribbling so furiously, colored smoke was seen rising from the crayon.

Everyone, including the guards and staff, just stared at her for a moment till Celestia looked up from her parchment and saw everyone staring at her. “What? Can’t a ruler have a little fun with out everyone staring?” She asked as the guards and staff went back to work with a shrug.

“Welp she is at it again.” The guard next to the group mumbled.

“You don’t say Jim....” The guard next to him mumbled.

“Ten bits she has one of us go look for more crayons?” He asked his partner.

“Deal.”

“Guards! I need more crayons!... And markers!” Celestia yelled in dismay as she looked at her stub of a crayon. “Oh and some more ink and parchments!”

“Ahh crap.”

“Ten bits rookie. Better learn the ropes fast or you will be losing a lot of bits.” Jim said to his friend smirking. His friend, who was named Bill just sighed and handed him ten bits before walking away to find more crayons. Some markers, ink and parchments. “Sucker. Never take a bet on something like this.” He said chortling.

“Get me some chicken!” Celestia bellowed out. “Wait a minute....”

In a flash of a second a butler was standing next to Celestia holding up a silver plate with a cover, when he lifted it, there was Scootaloo.

“Ha! I get it... Wait where did he get that filly?” Jim said to himself. By now everyone was just looking at each other before hesitantly going over to the table to begin breakfast, making sure to leave at least a three to four seat distance between them and Celestia. As everyone sat down, a certain grey spartan with yellow stripes walked through the doors into sight before he raised a hoof and turned on his megaphone in his helmet before saying.

“I WON BITCHES!” Then promptly falling face first on the tile and passing out. Celestia was beginning to freak out over not having any parchment, so she looked around for something to quickly get her fix of scribbling on and saw a grey lump on the floor.

Smiling widely, she picked up the poor grey pony and began to randomly scribbled the stubs of color all over the armor the pony was layered in, not missing his visor or any other piece of armor.

Bill just walked into the room with some parchments, ink, markers, and crayons. Jim just stopped him before whispering. “Bet you another ten bits she kisses you for bringing her that stuff.” He said.

“Deeeal?” Bill said hesitantly and questioningly. Looking confused as fuck, he then walked out into the room and towards Celestia, when he got up to her he cleared his throat and said. “Your majesty, here is the supplies you requested.” Bill said holding the bag of supplies in front of him.

“Oh thank you so much, my little pony!!” Celestia yelled out throwing wash into the mountain of crumpled parchments and grabbing the guard before kissing him for a good thirty seconds before going back to her coloring with her fresh and brand new supplies.

“TEN BITS!” Jim yelled from his post. Bill just turned around and walked out like he did not give a single fuck, except his raging boner said otherwise.

“Oh god dude! Put that thing away!” Jim said looking away in disgust.

“And not a single buck was given this day.” Bill said as walked towards the nearest bathroom. Jim just shook his head in disgust before yelling.

“STILL OWE ME TEN BITS!” He then looked from Bill to the area of the dining hall he was still posted at. As he looked he saw that everyone was staring at him. He simply looked to everypony before smiling and saying. “I smell a promotion in the air.”

“Okay... A eyeful of pony junk and drawing obsessed sun goddess. How is are your mornings going?” A certain pink spartan said looking to everyone. Also, that butler who had Scootaloo on a plate, was still just standing there, with a confused looking Scootaloo on a plate.

“May I go home now?” Scootaloo asked.

“No you may not, not until Celestia says otherwise.” The butler said. Then Bill came back, now with a smile and no more things un-need to be seen.

“That was fast.” Jim said as Bill took his post next to him. “Still owe me ten bits.”

“Awww shit.” Bill muttered as he pulled out his wallet and took out ten bits. “Damn you and your stupid bets.”

“Bet you five bits you will accept another bet.” Jim said smiling.

“Deal! --- Wait what?”

“Five bits.” Jim said smiling even wider.

“Ah... Son of a...:” Bill muttered as he took out five more bits. “Damn, now I don’t have money for lunch.”

“Your damn fault that you gamble.” Jim said tucking the bits away. Meanwhile a large deep sea blue pony and a smaller flame red Pegasus were walking towards the dinning hall, and for some reason both of their manes were much more frazzled and disorderly than the others.

“Stupid white walls. Stupid sun. Stupid pillars.” Roger was muttering as they walked through the dinning hall doors.

“Bet you a day of night shifts that, that pony is having a bad morning.” Jim said to Bill as they walked past.

“Dea-! WAAAAAAIT A MINUTE! I’m not falling for that again.”

“Two days of night shifts?” Jim said looking to him.

“No.” Bill said shaking his head.

“Three days?” JIm asked.

“Nooope!” Bill said shaking his head again.

“A full week?” Jim said smiling.

“DEAL!... Wait, oh buck my life.”

“Too late!” Jim said smiling as Roger walked by them.

“Stupid guards making stupid bets about my stupid bad morning and my stupid pounding headache.” Roger complained as she walked by them with Rino.

“Told you, you should have taken a painkiller.” Rino said.

“If you weren’t body rest, I would punch you.” Roger said rubbing her head.

“Welp have fun on night duty for the rest of the week.” Jim said smiling at Bill.

“Oh goddess damn you and your stupid bets.” Bill said facehoofing.

“Bet you nothing that you won’t take this bet.” Jim said smiling to him.

Bill just looked at him before trying to register what he said, before slowly nodding looking at Jim suspiciously.

“Alright you win!” Jim said smiling.

“I do?” Bill asked looking confused.

“Yup! Here is your prize!” Jim held out his empty hoof. “A crap load of complete and pure one hundred guaranteed genuine!... Nothing!”

Bill just facehoofed and looked around, he found a bucket that was empty and picked it up. “See this bucket?” Bill asked.

“Yup. And how it’s as empty as your wallet?” Jim said still smiling.

“It’s filled with the bucks I give, but why look! IT’S EMPTY.”

“Great! You can sell it so you have something to bet with!” Jim said smiling and looking straight ahead.

“What is wrong with you two?” Roger asked as she turned to look at the two guards. As if they had trained for this, as she looked at them, they were stoic and as still as stone. “Da fuq?”

Rino just looked at them before doing funny faces and grimaces at them. They just remained still and didn’t even notice them. Sighing Rino and Roger began to walk away, unfortunately for the guards, Roger might have swayed her hips just a bit more than she should have. Bill was having a hard time controlling both himself and his other part... Mainly his second near raging boner. Jim was also having a bit of trouble controlling where his eyes were pointing.

“Dat flank.” Bill muttered what they both were thinking. Roger’s ears twitch for a moment till she slowly turned her slightly unnerving glare towards both of the guards, to which Jim simply pointed to Bill before turning to him and saying.

“Bet you a free drink you’re about to get your flank kicked from here to the moon.” Jim said.

“I’d say, we both are about to be that.” Bill said, slowly backing away. Roger simply leaned off of Rino before turning and slowly beginning to walk towards both Bill and Jim.

“Bill.... If we survive this. I am buying us both lunch.” Jim said slowly walking backwards away from Roger.

“Yeah... Let’s say thaaaat.” Bill whimpered they both were getting backed into a corner by Roger whom was glaring and grinding her teeth angrily.

“Shitshitshitshitshitshit!!” Jim panicked out as Roger neared them until they were both pressed against each other in the corner.

“Welp, we are bucked.” Bill said quietly.

“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!” Roger yelled as she lunged at them only to get stopped by Rino grabbing her tail mid leap with his teeth. As she was stopped in her leap, she hit the ground and began to crawl rabidly at the two terrified guards huddled in the corner. “Let me kill them! I want to eat their wings off and force grenades down their throats!”

Jim looked at his wings before going even paler than his snow white coat could. “B-but I like my wings.” He muttered in fear.

“And I will break the horn off the other one and shove it up his a-!!” Roger began to rant before being interrupted by Rino. Bill was just staring wide eyed at the mare in front of him with a gaping mouth and a looked of utter fear on his face. Pretty much a ‘Oh my god I am gonna get fucked up before getting killed.’ face

“Ssssh.” Rino shushed as he put a hoof on her mouth, making her rant become more or less aggressive mumbling. Yes, her very aggressive mumbling.

“MPmmph mpmmpmpmmph!!” Roger was trying to shout out still giving the guards the most terrifying glare of their life. But she did get out thing out. “And I will crush their genitals with my robot arm- mpmmmpmmpmpmmpp!!!”

Rino just cringed at her choice of words before continuing to drag her towards the table, he then mumbled something that no one could hear because he was too busy dragging Roger. Roger simply continued to claw madly at the two guards, still aggressively mumbling.

After a short while, Rino reached a seat and basically threw Roger onto it... Which led to her wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. While that was going on, Bill and Jim simply unstuck themselves from their spot in the corner and slowly made their way to the door before bolting out like bats out of hell.

“Well...” Rino said looking at Roger, who still was looking a bit seductive. “Would you just eat some breakfast? Or else you are going to get very grumpy.”

Roger just frowned and pouted a bit. “I am already grumpy.” She said.

“Well then....” Rino said sighing, before looking to the table that was filled with crap to eat. “Why not eat something? … That’s not my face?”

“Because at least your face lasts.” Roger said smirking before doing a full on pout, complete with puppy dog eyes. “And I can’t eat bacon anymore....” Rino tried to say anything but, since her puppy dog face... Pretty much left him stunned. “BACON WAS SOOO DELICOUS!” Roger yelled out before smashing her face into the table and leaving a imprint.

“Well that’s certainly different.” Twilight said from her seat.

“Yeah no kidding.” Pinkie said tilting her head a bit. Roger looked at the imprint before just laying her face down and mumbling.

“This is actually pretty comfy.”

“What the....” Celestia looked at Roger before shrugging and continuing to furiously scribble down random things on a parchment, last parchment had a flower that looked like it was drawn by a five year old... And somehow this one had more or less a work of art on it, she just crumpled it and threw it at the pile.

Roger looked up before seeing Celestia. “Hey Rino look! Colors!” She said pointing.

Rino’s head just snapped towards where she was pointing. “OH MY GOD! YOU ARE COLORING! LET ME JOIN!”

“Wut?” Roger said tilting her head at a perfect 90 degree angle. Rino just looked at her with a goofy smile before grabbing her body and twisted her body in the same angle, so now she was lying down. “Uuuuum... Wait a minute. Church are you still in my head?”

‘Go away, I’m tierd. Leave me alone, not to mention the mental scars I have.’

‘VENGANCE IS MINE!!!’ Roger bellowed inside her head.

‘Do you have to scream at this hour?’ Church asked quietly.

‘Yes... Now sleep.’ Roger said gently before looking for Rino again. “I have to find away to NOT space out when I talk to you Church.”

“Ugh why won’t you leave me to sleeep?” Church complained as he exited her head. “I’m going back to the room.”

“You still can’t sleep! You are a robot-slash-ghost!” She yelled.

“Does it look like I care?” Church asked walking away. Then they both heard two familair voices.

“Hey look! I found a leg of metal with holes in it!” Bill yelled from the otherside of the door. “And it’s blue!”

Church just slowly turned around and looked at Roger. “You wouldn’t have happened to dismantle my body and hidden the parts all over the castle would you?”

“No no no no no.... Pshyeah!” Roger said before bursting into laughter and falling out of her chair.

Church just shook his head and walked back to her and sat down in the chair next to her.... Somehow.

“Hey what is this? Looks like a armored worm.... And why is it blue?” Jim said from the other side of the door.

“Hey! He found a finger!” Roger said sitting back into her chair. You could literally see the steam rising of Church as his anger grew, out of no where he picked up a sniper and shot a imaginary bullet at Jim, which caused it to pass through his skull, except it did no damage seeing how it was a ghost bullet.

“Hey I acutally hi-... FUCK.” Church muttered.

“Did somepony throw a feather at me? I find that offensive!” Jim said sounding posh. “Eh... Who cares... I wonder if I can pawn this armored worm thing?”

Church just shook his head and looked at Roger, who was eating the face of Rino.... Who was somehow also coloring...

“Now that is what I call multitasking.” Jim said as he looked in through the door.

Of course, all of the girl’s except Celestia, was staring at Roger and Rino... Also Church did not stare, he just glanced quickly before shaking it off and going back to sitting on his chair... slash throne majestically.

“Hey Bill! I dare you to go and break up that make-out session over there.” Jim whispered to Bill making sure that he didn’t see Roger in the mix. He nudged him trying to encourage him. “Come on! Do it!”

“Sounds like a great fucking idea.” A unknown voice said from behind them. Both Jim and Bill gave a small girlish scream before spinning to see Tucker behind them. “Sup?”

“Uh... Nothing, you strange, tall, aqua thing.” Jim said raising a eyebrow. “And shut up!”

“I thought you were guards... Not... Gamblers.” Tucker said lookig at them.

“I’m not a gambler. Bill is though.” Jim said smugly smiling and chuckling a bit.

Tucker just chuckled with him before looking at him. “You kind of remind me of me.”
Ego boost.

Jim simply smiled before looking to Bill who was glaring at him. “What? I just provide the bets. You don’t have to take them.”

“Oh like the time you won twenty bits for touching someone’s flank?” Bill said looking at Jim.

“Hey! It costed half of that to fix my armor you cheeky dickwaffle!” Jim said scowling at him.

“Serves you right, I love how you got scolded by one of the girls in our regiment afterwards.”

“Pfft. At least they can talk to me with out me turning into a volcano!” Jim said back smiling.

“Erm, I was drunk thank you.” Bill said.

“Like the first day at camp?” Jim said.

“Like you furiously fapped and got caught by the commander.”

“Best part was she was in heat, bitch!”

“Oh guess that’s why shes pregnant.”

“Wait... What?.... SHIT.... Well I at least got the bits to support the kid.” Jim said smugly looking to Bill.

“I’m gonna stop taking the bets now.” Bill said crossing his fore-hooves and sitting down.

“Bet you five bits that you will not truly understand my words and somehow end up taking this bet even though you said you weren’t.” Jim said.

“Eh..... No?” Bill just looked a Jim in confusion.

“You suuuuure? It’s five bits.” Jim said.

“What did you say any how?”

“I just said that it was a bet of five bits.” Jim said shrugging.

“And what was the bet now again?” Bill said looking at him.

“That I could confuse you long enough. By the way... Five bits.” Jim said.

“I did not accept! Go to Tartarus, ye bastard.”

“Oh yes you did! Right aqua guy?” Jim said looking to Tucker.

“Oh yeah... Totally.” Tucker said shrugging, before walking past them and into the dinning hall.

“See? Now you owe me five bits! Fool!” Jim said smiling smugly. “Oh and I will give you one chance to win back enough for lunch today. Want to hear it?”

Bill just choughed and said. “I distincly remember someone promising to buy lunch today... His name is Jim..... Or Jimath-”

“Yes! Yes!... Do you want your bits or not?” Jim said hushing him.

“Sure hoof them back.”

“Hey you have to earn them back! They are rightfuly mine. So you want the bet or not?”

“Jimatho-”

“I swear to Celestia, I will feed you to that Red pegasus.” Jim said glaring.

“Oh I wouldn’t mind her eating me.” Bill said wiggling his eyes suggestively.

“WHO SAID THAT!?” Roger said breaking away from Rino for a moment and looking around.

Bill just pointed at Jim, and scooted away from him. Roger growled... No like legit growled, befroe pointing to her eyes and then to Jim and mouthing ‘Watching you.’. Jim simply gulped in response and glared at Bill.

“I am so going to kill you.” Jim said to Bill.

“Oh say that to Emerald Charmer who you seem to have the hots for.”

“Oh shut up. Or do I have to tell shadow streak about those photos?” Jim said.

“What photos?” Bill asked innocently. Jim simply deadpanned before walking over and whispering to him before he turned redder than Roger’s coat.

“Yeah. Those photos.” Jim said.

“I hate being on night shifts....” Bill complained quietly unable to gaze at Jim.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought. Now come on... Now time for your bet. I bet you half your bits back, if you go break up that make out fest.” Jim said pointing to Rino.

“Buck it.. DEAL AND LEEEEEEEROOOOY!” Bill yelled out before running in and basicly stopping next to Rino and Roger who looked at him with confusion. “I request that you two stop making out or I have to royally stop you by force.”

Roger simply glared at him before she lifted her metal arm and show Bil as it separated into the three finger like appendages again and grabbing him by the neck, not hard, but a good enough grip that Bill couldn’t squirm away She pulled him over and glared at him with her soul piercing glare.

“M-Ma’am, p-please put me d-down.” Bill stuttered out. Roger simply continued to glare at him before looking to Rino.

“Can I maim him?” She asked in her cute voice with her puppy eyes.

“N-Now that’s just ch-cheating.” Bill stuttered out.

“Poor Bill... Should have stopped gambling.” Jim mumbled before snickering.

Rino just looked at Bill before poking him once. “Teehee... Poke.” Rino said before looking at Roger again. “Eat your breakfast.” he said pointing at the plate in front of her.

“B-but! Maiming the guard!” Roger said pointing her free hoof at Bill and pouting.

“Breakfast first maiming later.” Rino said pushing the plate closer to Roger, seeing how she had pushed it away.

“But I don’t want to! I want to maim the guard!” Roger whined shaking Bill back and forth for a second.

“Nooo, you must eat your breakfast to grow up and become all healthy and strong.” Rino said sounding somewhat like a father.

“Like I already am?” Roger asked.

“Well.... Yeah, but still eat breakfast, or no more kissing, hugging, rutting, clinging... Or any other affection for today.” Rino said. Roger gawked for a moment before looking to the guard and back to Rino. Then to the guard. Then right back to Rino.

“Can I at least throw him?” Roger asked.

“Oh, feel free.... Not through the windows or a pillar thought.... NOR A WALL.”

“Awwww... Do doors count?” Roger asked.

“Yeah the seem to magicly repair themselves.

“YEAH!!” Roger said before standing on her hindlegs and throwing Bill like a baseball towards the dinning hall doors.

“Oh sheeeeeeit!” Was heard from Bill as he flew towards the door. “Wait that reminds me... I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!”

“You don’t have wings!” Jim said ruining his mojo.

“Shut up you fool!” Bill yelled out before crashing through the doors. Jim simply winced before going to the doors and looking through the hole in the door.

“Well.... Good news is you get half your bits back!.... Bad news?.. You have a broken.... Everything, cept your horn.” Jim said.

“Thank goddess... My horn.”

“Wait is that a crack?” Jim said pointing.

“Don’t SAY THAT, also get your dirty hoof away from my horn.” Bill said

“Wait wait... Just a hair.” Jim said.

“Stop having your hoof so close to my horn, you know how... Well... Yeah... You know.”

“Yeah yeah... Hey did you hear about that big blue pony grabbing that grey metal guys horn? He held onto it for like... a full minute.” Jim said crawling through the hole and going to help up Bill.

“Eww, why are you telling me this?” Bill said disgusted.

“Because that guy is 400 hundred pounds and is taller than both of us. Just thought I would warn you.” Jim said shrugging. “And that fact that you are practically broken now is another reason to be worried.” He finished letting out a nervous laugh.

“I’m feeling sleepy, get me to the med bay.” Bill said groggily.

“Okay one moment. HALP!! HALP!! IS ANYONE THERE!?” Jim yelled out running around frantically trying to find someone to help him.

“Just bucking carry me you jackflank.” Bill said raising a hoof.

“HALP HALP! PLEASE HE IS INJURED! HALP HALP!” Jim said running in a circle. “HALP HALP!!!!”

Twilight walked out of hte dinning hall with her mane somehow fixed and a ‘dafuq?’ face on. “What is going on out here?”

Jim simply ran over and picked up Twilight, somehow, and yelled out. “HALP HALP! HE IS INJURED!! HALP!”

Twilight just stared for a moment before slowly and unsurely. “Oookay?”

Now back to the others!

Roger lifted her head from her food before looking around. “Why do I hear cries for help?... And even more curious... Why do I not care?”

Close to where Roger were sitting, there was furious scribbling... Times two, in fact there was so much of it that a cloud of colored smoke was hovering around the place, raining down colored rain on random things.

“Well... That’s new.” Roger said as a drop of rainbow water landed on her nose. She simply licked it off before smiling. “MMM! Spicy!”

“Does it taste like chocolate?” Pinkie asked.

“Hmmm.” Roger said tapping her chin. “Eh... Kinda. Only spicy. Like hot sauce.”

“Aww...” Pinkie said sadly going back to sitting properly, and eating... a cake as breakfast.

“Hmmm. Wonder if... Naw, I would just get fat.” Roger said sighing before eating her food.

“Oh you already are fat.” Rino said looking up from his parchment quickly. Roger just gawked before looking to her belly.

“I’m not fat!... Am I?” Roger said slightly whimpering.

“Oh you will be in a few months I guess, I mean the way you handle me in bed...” Rino said. Roger simply looked up for a moment before slowly turning to Rino, you could almost hear stone grinding as she did so.

“What?” She said with a unreadable tone.

“You know the time you forced me down... And practicly made me uh...” Rino said looking around seeing a lot of blushing mares in the dinning room. “Yeah that...”

“Sooo... Pretty much you are saying that I am-” Roger began.

“Maybe, No way to know for sure.” Rino said with a stonic face.

“OH FUCK ALL KINDS OF DUCK!” Roger yelled out before slamming her face against the table again. Leaving yet another imprint. Rino just burst out laughing at Roger’s reaction. “What’s so funny!?”

“I’m just messing with you!” Rino said clucthing his sides. Roger’s eys just twitched for a moment before she got up.

“That was low blow... Even for you.” Roger said glaring.

“Although I was serious about the whole forcing me down and everything.” Rino said going back to serios for a few second and then bursting out laughing.

“Yea. I know. I did it.” Roger said before stomping away. “You’re a jerk!”

“You love it!” Rino said through laughs.

“I will throw a chair at you!” Roger threatened.

“Oh don’t be like that! I’m sorry alright!”

“Nope!” Roger said before stomping over to the door and pointing a hoof at Rino. “NO ASS FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!”

“Awwww.” Rino said sadly before no longer furiously scribbling, but sadly and slowly scribbling away. Roger just huffed before opening the door and walking out.

“DAT ASS!” Rino yelled as he looked at her ass. Roger poked her head in before glaring and belllowing out.

“NO!” And slamming the door, breaking the handle off. “Oh fuck all kinds of duck.”

“Well then... I finished my food long time ago.... Time to find a pissed mare and apologize.” Rino said getting of the chair and picking up the parchment.... and a crayon. “I’m not leaving this.”

“Hey! That’s mine!” Celestia whined.

“No!” Rino said running away.

“Hey!.. Aw..” Celesita said giving a small sad sniff. “My crayon.”

Then Luna walked into see her sister, along with tons of confused guards and hired help and oddly enough a bulter with a orange chicken on a platter. “Um... Sister why are you crying?” Luna said.

“THAT MEAN PONY TOOK MY CRAYON!” Celestia yelled out before covering her eyes with her gold-shoed hooves and bawling. Luna simply sighed and walked over before gently patting Celestia on the back before she grabbed her and hugged her still crying.

“Ugh... Looks like tis going to be one of those days.” Luna mumbled as Celesita cried for her lost coloring tool.

“I HEARD IT CRY OUT FOR HELP AS HE RAN OFF WITH IT!!” Celestia yelled out before sobbing more.

“Calm down. It was only one crayon. You have like a hundred more.” Luna said patting her back.

“BUT THAT WAS MY FAVORITE COLOR!” She said through sobs

“Oh come on dear sister-” Luna tried to reason.

“NO!” Celesita pushed herself off of Luna before falling to the ground and rolling around like a foal. “I WANT HIM BACK! HE WAS MY FAVORITE! I MADE SO MANY AMAZING DRAWINGS WITH HIM!”

Luna simply facehoofed as Celestia wailed like a foal and rolled on the ground. “TIA! Stop! You are a total foal!” Luna demaned.

“BUT I WANT HIM BAAAAACK!” Celestia whined.

“Tia, do you want your other colors taken!?” Luna threatened.

“NO!! STOP IT LUNA!” Celestia yelled out.

“THEN STOP WHINNING AND GO TAKE IT BACK!” Luna bellowed out in her royal canterlot voice.

“BUT HE’S SO FAAAAST!!” Celestia whined.

“Tia. You have wings AND magic. I think you can take him on.” Luna said sighing.

“BUT ALL MY OTHER CRAYONS....”

“TIA!.... Just go.” Luna said pointing to the door. “NOW.”

Celestia just sprang up and rushed through the door, before peeking in and narrowing her eyes. “There is 399 Crayons in here... If I find one missing... Then my faust help you all.”

“Yeah yeah.” Luna said waving he hoof at her sister before sitting down and grabbing a cup of coffee. “CAN SOME ONE PLEASE GET ME A ASPIRIN!... And get rid of that chicken!”

“Hey! I’m not a chicken!” Scootaloo said.

“Yes yes whatever you say strange orange and purple chicken.” Luna said waving her hoof again before a bulter pony hoofed her two pills and she gulped them down along with her coffee. “Stupid Tia and her crayons.”

“Um... I’m Pinkie Pie... AND WHAT THE BUCK JUST HAPPENED!?” Pinkie yelled out.

“Pinkie! Language dear!… And yes, what did just happend?”

“You know that something is wrong when Pinkie says something like that.” Rainbow said from her seat.

“Y-yeah....” Fluttershy quietly added.

“Eeyup.” AJ said mimicking her brother.

“Yep.” Wash said from the mountain of crumpled up scrolls and whatnot. He also had aquired a soda, with a funny straw.... from where you ask? NOOOO WHERE, well no where that I know off.

“Wash why are you covered in drawings and scribblings?” Donut asked.

“Um....” Wash said looking around and seeing the mountain, he noticed that the funny straw was poking up through the paper and same for his head. “I don’t know...”

“I HAVE RETURNED!!!” Celesita bellowed out breaking down the dinning hall’s doors. She had somehow gotten quite a few battle scars and was dressed in mangled chainmail with a broken sword and crayon in her magic grip. “But... Not with out it’s losses”

She slowly held up her broken crayon and dropped the sword before falling to her knees and bellowing to the sky. “Deep sea blue WHY!?!?!”

“I can see why Rino would keep it....” Tucker said before sitting down next to Wash and leaning on the mountain of trash.

“Sister... Just think of it like this. Now you have two!” Luna said trying to cheer Tia up.

“NOOOOOO! IT WAS WHOLE BEFORE! I NEVER WILL BE AGAIN!”

“Ugh.... Sometimes I wished I stayed on the moon.” Luna said rubbing her head. “At least Nightmare Moon didn’t scream about crayons.”

“I can send you back there if you want... I think they have a crayon store up there.” Celestia said.

“Oh god back to your coloring.” Luna said.

“Okay!” Celestia said with a cheery voice and a happy smile, before walking over and sitting down at the end of the table.

“Wait sister... Isn’t it time for day court?” Luna asked looking to Tia.

“Day court? Nooo.... What are you talking about Luna? Are you drunk again?”

“UGh... I see where this is going. GUARDS! Get the rope!” Luna said facehoofing.

“Uh-oh.... I don’t want to play bondage.... It not fun.”

“OH shut up.” Luna hissed at her. “Now go do your duties or I will hide your crayons!”

Celestia got up from her chair before throwing herself to her knees. “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” She screamed dramaticly.

“Then go to Day Court. NOW.” Luna said demanding.

“THERE IS NO ONE WHO LIKES THE DAY COURT.” Celestia whined.

Luna just deadpanned before, without moving her head looked directly... At.. Us? “You like messing with me don’t you?” She asked.

Well that’s certianly different..... Usually it’s Pinkie who does this.

Hi! *Waves* I like your night! Also yes. This is very fun.

“Right.... Please stop.” Luna asked.

And what would make you think that I would stop?

“I will sick Roger on both of you.”

You know.... She in my bed would be awesome.
Hey!.... Wait a minute.... Wouldn’t she kill us?

Oh shut up, We are the... Well I am the Author, you are my editor.

AND I AM THE HELPER! AND THE EDITOR!.... Wait a minute.... Um. Shit. Should I put this changeling back?

Fuck do I care, getting sidetracked. Just put it in the Trash compactor for now...

But she is so fluffly!!! *Snuggles changeling.*

“Um.... Let’s just continue on with this before he gets anymore weird shall we?” Luna said before looking back to Tia. Who was still screaming.

Pinkie just looked at us too. “Why did she get all my glory?”

Seriously, side tracking! THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS!

I LIKE LUNA! THAT’S WHY! Pinkie is cool to though.

YES. YES.

Everyone just ignored Pinkie but looked strangely at Luna.
Psst. nice save.

OKAY FUCK THIS, ENDING CHAPTER HERE.

Well then. PARTY TIME! *Grabs Luna and runs*

Party time meaning rape. Okay.

THIS WAS PLANNED! *random door closes.*

Planned rape..... That's a new one for me...

*Random rock thrown* Whoops! Stupid closet.

“Well this is extremely different....” Pinkie said looking confused.

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" Church asked, looking at Pinkie.

Author's Note

Yay! New chapter! Finally! Also, my editor decided to help me with the forth wall segments, which I will happily thank him for, so thank you for that Mr.Editor.

Also... This took longer than expected, sorry about that. But as life has it I've have been busy with a lot of school stuff, like re-testes, biology, Swedish exams and such. I'm really sorry but I would rather put school work first instead of doing the story, hence why I only update on weekends, but really I would update quicker if I had the chance.

Oh and its the funerary of 14th today... So that means Valentines day! Yay! Happy day and such... I'm forever alone.... Have some Lyra.

She's not doing anything inappropriate btw, she just have her fore-leg between her thighs.

Now with that out of the way, feel free to point out any errors you find and I will fix them.
Till next time,
The Alpha.
P.S This is a Valentines gift to all of you! Thank you all for reading.

AND THANK'S TO RAINBOWBOB FOR INSPIRING ME TO START WRITING!

Having a thought really long .... What? Sucks.

Chapter 9; Having a thought really long .... What? Sucks.

Rino was happily strolling down the hallway and looking through the windows, and noticing... That it was noon.

“Hm... Time flies.” Rino mused as he kept happily strolling through the hallway, he kept walking happy as ever, until he heard someone grumbling... Or sobbing, whatever. He froze in the hallway for a few seconds before blindly storming into the nearest room and sitting down in a recliner.

“Hmmmm.” Rino mused, before looking around and seeing three confused guards. “Fine day don’t you say, chaps?”

“Yes?” One of them replied.

“Well that’s good to hear, now excuse me as I take my leave.” Rino said as he got up and left before continuing his happy stroll.

“Wait, what was I supposed to do again?” Rino asked himself, as he held up a hoof to his chin. He was thinking about what he was doing before he noticed a cloud that was looking like a giant eagle, which made him think of eagles... And how great chicken tastes. He kept sitting there for a few minutes before his mind went blank.

“Uuuuuh....” He mused as he practically drooled a bit. “What was I thinking about again?” He asked himself as he looked out the window. “Oh right... Chicken.”

“Hey! I’m not a Chicken!” Someone called out from the end of the hall.

“Oh well... Maybe not....” Rino said as he got up and turned around... Surprise surprise Roger was standing there glaring a bit.

“Well hello there... Gonna say I am fat again?” Roger said still glaring.

“Huh?” Rino said looking over her. “Wait who said that?”

“Down here numbnuts.” Roger said tapping his chin.

“Oh? Oh! Oooh!” Rino said looking down and noticing Roger. “There you are.... I’ve been... Looking for you?” Rino said almost questionably as he tilted his head.

“Still not getting any ass.” Roger said plainly.

“Yeah well I don’t really care.” Rino said, “I just.... Hmm... What was supposed to do again?”

“I found you drooling in the hallway... For like thirty minutes... How am I supposed to know?” Roger said shrugging and still glaring a bit.

“I was out here for more than a hour thinking about chicken?” Rino asked tilting his head.

“Yeeeees?” Roger said almost questioningly.

Rino looked at Roger before grabbing her and hugging her tightly and saying. “I wuv you.”

“Still mad at you.” Roger said plainly.

“Don’t care... Still wuv you.” Rino said snuggling into her.

“And it’s still strange that I am smaller than you and your the one that snuggles me.” Roger said hugging back a bit.

“Well you are cute... and fluffy!” Rino said as he kept snuggling into her. “And you smell like coconuts for some reason.”

“It’s called a shower and shampoo.” Roger said.

“Hey! I did that once!” Rino said looking down at her face. “You know that you are my world right?”

“I am?” Roger said looking up at Rino. Whom just nuzzled her before giving her a quick peck on the lips.

“Yes.” he said with a big smile.

“When did you get all luvy dovey?” Roger said smiling just a bit.

“Since I started wuving you.” Rino said still smiling.

“That works I guess.” Roger said smiling a bit wider. “Still mad at you.”

“Awww....” Rino whined as he let her go and scooted back a bit. “So how can I help you today my fine lady?”

“Hmmmm.” Roger said tapping her chin. “I like snuggling.”

“Well come here then!” Rino said opening his arms.

“Tackle snuggling!” Roger yelled out before full on tackling Rino to the ground and holding onto him. Rino just laughed some before snuggling into her again.

“Still strange that you are the one that snuggles into me.” Roger said.

“Oh come on, snuggle some too!” Rino whined a bit. “I don’t want to be the one doing all the snuggling.”

“What’s the magic word?” Roger said in a singsong voice.

“Pretty please?” Rino said looking up at her. Roger simply smiled and snuggled into Rino’s coat.

“Happy now?” She asked sighing as she got comfortable.

“Yes...” He said as he hugged her and held her like a teddy bear before he let out a sigh of content.

“Okay... I’m not mad anymore.” Roger said replicating Rino’s action.

“So what now? A kiss to make it all better?” Rino asked as he looked up at her again. Roger simply let out a small, light snore in response. “Oh... That works.”

Just as he said that two guards walked by giving only a moments glance before trotting off a little quicker than normal. As they left Rino could hear them say. “Well... That’s something you don’t see everyday.” One of them said.

“Nope certainly not...” The other one said. “In fact, thats the first one I’ve seen in a good while.”

“Wait what about the other day when we visited the hoofcamp?” The first one asked.

“Ah... Well that does not count... They were in bed.” the second one said. Then they turned the hall and Rino’s hearing failed to pick up their conversation.

Rino just laid there and looked around... “Huh, well this... This awkward.”

Roger just mumbled something and gently swatted at Rino. “Stoph... Talking... Sleeping.” She mumbled.

“Awww.” Rino mused silently as he looked around before his vision grew dark and he was slowly falling asleep. “Nyeeeh....” he mused silently before falling into a small snore.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(12 hours later)

Rino awoke up to himself snuggling into Roger’s coat... Again.

“Well that’s different..... Probably...” Rino mumbled before looking at Roger who was sleeping happily with a smile on her face. Rino though... Had a morning wood.... Or steel if you prefer.

“Stupid Walrus... Zzzz... I kill you with this giant foam finger.” Roger mumbled in her sleep.

“Wat?” Rino asked himself.

“DIE PENGUIN!!!” Roger yelled out before sleep smacking Rino in the face with a pillow. “Got you... You-” She let out a adorable yawn. “-You stupid.... Pink polar bear.”

“... Wat?” Rino asked himself again, since they were apparently was back in their room again. Roger just leaned over and kissed Rino before mumbling.

“I saved Princess Peach from Bowser and Sonic.”

Rinos eyes just narrowed before saying again. “Wat?”

“ISAAC NOOOOOOOO!” Roger yelled sitting up real quickly and panting heavily. She then looked to Rino before cuddling against him and mumbling. “Don’t let them let Elucid out... He stalks you when you blink.” Before she let out another adorable yawn and fell right back asleep.

If one of you get that reference, I will love you forever.

Rino was still very confused, but his groin was screaming at him to masturbate or maybe, just maybe place himself on top of Roger and do a “Unwanted entry.”

“Commander Shepard Why you do dis?” Roger muttered in her sleep. “Master Chief isn’t a chef.”

“The posistion shes laying in.... It’s so tempting...” Rino muttered to himself, looking away. “Wat do?”

Roger simply got up for a second and yawned before taking all the blankets and simply cocooning herself in their warmth.

“What the fu...?” Rino muttered out before getting extremely cold. “Holy fuck this is cold!”

“Mmmmm... Warm.” Roger murmured as she was all balled up.

“You are taunting me.” Rino said pointing a hoof at her.

“Mmm warmth....” Roger mumbled again before somehow pulling all the pillows around her as well, effectively making a cave like structure made of pillows.

“What the hell?” Rino muttered before looking at the pillow cave thingy. “Okay....?”

He got up and crawled over to it before looking inside. “Huh, cozy.”

“Mmm... Teddy bear.” Roger mumbled before she grabbed and pulled Rino over to her and wrapped them both in the blankets. “Mmm warm.”

“...” Rino remained silent before realizing something. “Shit, I still have my morning steel... Wat do now?”

This was the moment Roger yawned again before getting up and walking out before a bathroom door was closed. A minute or two later she came back still yawning and crawled back into the pillow cave and curled up. Which kinda Rino effectively had taken over... Just kinda.

“Oh hai.” Rino muttered as he was curled up, still somehow, not gotten rid of his morning steel.

“Yea yea I killed the hobo so wat?” Roger mumbled.

“Lay down on your back please.” Rino said nicely. “Or... Or … Uh uh... Um yeah...”

“You have morning steel don’t you?” Roger asked not waking up.

“Is is that obvious?” He asked back.

“Well that and the Rainbow one is staring again.” Roger said pointing to the door.

“Huh?” Rino said looking at where Roger was pointing. “Wat, naffin is there.”

“Just wait a minute.” Roger said pointing still.

“No...” Rino said crawling closer to Roger.

“What’s the magic word?” Roger asked.

“Please?” Rino said kinda with puppy eyes.

“Those are mine. Take them off.” Roger said before rolling over. “There you go...”

“Thank you...” Rino said nicely, before crawling on top of her and... You get the idea. And over in the ceiling’s corner there was a flash of rainbow before the door quickly opened and closed.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(One relief later)

Both, Rino and Roger were panting heavily. “Stupid... Moring steel.” Rino muttered.

“Stupid eroctic dreams of video game characters.” Roger said.

“Icameinsideofyou.” Rino said very quickly, almost too quickly. Roger slowly turned and looked to Rino, too tired to glare.

“You... Did... What?” Roger asked slowly.

“I uh.... I um... I yeaaah.... I urugh. Yes.” Rino muttered out looking at Roger, before looking away again.

“That explains that sudden warmth.” Roger said looking up. “Oh and I am going to kill you when I stop being tired.”

“You didn’t say anything! You were just lying there!” Rino said throwing up his hooves in the air.

“And who had the morning wood huh?!” Roger said.

“Morning wood? I say its steel.” Rino said.

“No. Right now it’s wood until further notice.” Roger stated.

“Aww... But you never said anything about.... Uh... You um yeah...” Rino said nervously.

“I thought that was a common rule we had!” Roger said angrily.

“Hey, morning sex has a lot of rules, but um... eh, yeah..” Rino said looking at the ceiling.

“You... Forgot.” Roger said facehoofing.

“Okayokay... I forgot to pull out, I’m sorry.. Geez.” Rino said with slight hint of frustration.

“You’re not the one who is gonna get pregnant you know.” Roger said grumbling a bit.

“Oh right.... Does that mean you will get fat?” Rino asked tilting his head a bit.

“Rino... That is strike three... You get one more because I was having eroctic videogame dreams.”

“That might explain why you screamed out ‘Garrus’ in the middle of everything was kinda confusing.”

“Shut up.... You’re not gonna have something the size of a watermelon go out of you.” Roger.

“That because you were talking about Watermelon the next second!” Rino said throwing his hooves in the air.

“I am going through a tough time right now! Shut up!” Roger yelled at Rino. “Also... I am hungry.”

“Well, I would say I have something for you... but you are not in the mood so, call room service.”

“Yes... So shut up.” Roger said before getting up and then simply laying back down. “No nevermind... I haz a sad nao.”

“What the....” Rino said before something clicked in his mind. “Wait..... You are on your period right?”

“What made you think YOU STUPID JERK FACE!” Roger yelled angrily getting right in Rino’s face.

“Yeah, on her period... I’m gonna be a dad in nine... Eleven... A year?” Rino said.

“I don’t know!” Roger yelled out suddenly bawling into a pillow.

“Well this is awkward... If I go close, she will hit me, if I walk away, she probably will cry to death.... Hard choice here.”

“IMMA KILL TUCKER!” Roger suddenly yelled before running and simply breaking through the doors, leaving a pony shape in the doorway.

“Well.... That’s.... Neat.” Rino said getting up and walking over to the door, he poked his head through the hole and looked around. He saw Twilight sitting there scared to death and holding a scroll in her magic.

“....R-R-R-Rino-o-o... What was th-that?” Twilight shakily asked.

“My girlfriend.” Rino said with a huge smile.

“What is wrong with her?” Twilight asked calming down.
“What’s a pony version of a period?” Rino asked quickly.

“A what? A punctuation?” Twilight said.

“A mare’s time of the month?” Rino said looking at her.

“Ooooh you mean heat.” Twilight said smiling.

“Yeah... On that, and I may or may not have done something that um... Shes probably pregnant.” Rino said bluntly.

“That would explain why she yelled she is going to go make Wash throw a baby shower.” Twilight said scratching her head. “I am assuming she is not very happy about that.”

“No... Morning sex gone wrong.” Rino said while Twilight blushed profusely and look away.

“Wh-what?” Twilight asked while her face was lit up like a volcano.

“You heard me... Morning. Sex. Gone. Wrong.” Rino said slowly.

“Sooooo... She is going off to kill Tucker and get Wash to throw a party for that?” Twilight said still blushing but now looking at Rino.

“Eh.... Think so? She’s acting really strangely.” Rino said as he took careful steps out of the room.

“TUCKER IMMA KILL YOUUUUUUU!!!!” Roger shouted from somewhere in the castle.

“Well... There she goes again...” Rino said facehoofing. Then Roger came back a few minutes later grumbling something incoherent, but you could faintly hear the words ‘Paint can’ and ‘Rusty spoon’ in her mumbles.

“Paint with a rusty spoon?” Rino randomly asked. Roger grabbed Rino’s face and pulled him close before saying softly.

“Noooooooooooo....” Then letting go and walking back into the room.

“Well that’s different...” Rino muttered out, before looking around.

“... Do I want to know?” Twilight asked.

“I told you! Morning sex gone wrong! Also everyone else, you are sitting here alone.” Rino said looking around again.

“Probably sleeping. It’s like ten in the morning right now.” Twilight said shrugging before picking her scroll back up.

“Huh.... Well.... Wonder what Church and Tucker are up too..” Rino mused to himself.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Out in the garden... Somewhere in ze castle)

“That is one fuckin’ ugly statue.” Church said pointing to the stonified Discord inc front of him.

“Yeah no kidding.” Tucker agreed.

They both stood there silently before Church looked at Tuckers sword.

“Hey wanna slice it in two?” Church said pointing at his sword.

“.... Oh fuck off.” A random voice said.

“Wait, who said that?” Church asked looking around.

“Me?” The voice asked again.

“This is officially getting creepy.” Tucker said before taking a few steps back.

“Oh that’s no fun!” The voice said again.

“Yeah fuck this.” Church said quickly before walking quickly towards the gates of the castle.

“Hey! We are not supposed to go outside the gates....” Tucker said looking at Church.

“What are you a pussy?” Church said looking at Tucker.

“Well no... You’re a ghost. You can go anywhere.” Tucker said plainly.

“Hey hey! I can’t fly god damn it.” Church said.

“OH boo whoo!.... You can walk through walls and posses people... But you want to fly.” Tucker said.

“I yeah I want to fly.” Church muttered. “Because then I wouldn’t have to put up with you guys... So I’m just leaving through those gates. Oh and not to mention... You still have that badass sword.”

“But I can’t walk through walls.” Tucker argued.

“You can slice shit in two with that sword.” Church deadpanned.

“Oh right.” Tucker said walking over to Church.

“Let’s just get the fuck away from this place.” Church said continuing his walk towards the gate.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

“Why fuck did we go out in the street?” Church muttered looking around a corner, and seeing a patrol of guards.

“Well one...... YOU. ARE. A. MAAAAAAASSIVE. DUUUMB. AAAAASSSSS.” Tucker said slowly.

“We just got fucking discovered thanks to you.” Church hissed before sprinting down the alley.

“Hey! Wait up!” Tucker yelled running after Church. “I DON’T WANNA DIE A VERY SOFT, HOOFED DEATH!!”

“Well FUCK YOU TOO THEN!” Church said turning a corner out into the open street he ran to the middle and skidded to the halt. “Oh.... Fuck.”

“WHAT’S ALL THE FU-uuuuuuuuuuuuuck... About.” Tucker said slowing down to meet Church.

“Eh.... Shit.” Church muttered as he looked around and saw lot’s of ponies that were staring at them.

“..... Welp... Back to the castle?” Tucker said jerking a thumb behind himself.

“Since the castle is over there, and the road over there is crowded with random civilian ponies.... I guess they are civilized or something.... Anyhow I say we go that way.” Church said pointing the opposite direction of the castle.

“But I have this!” Tucker said pulling out a frag grenade.

“Where did you get that?” Church asked as he looked at the granade.

“Roger’s belt.” Tucker said plainly.

“Tucker Imma kill youuuuuuuu!!” Was heard in the distance.

“If you want to go to jail then... Sure use that...” Church said looking to the alley and seeing more guards and then looked forward to see some more guards.

“Aw... Didn’t think of that.... Also don’t know if this is a flash bang or a real one.” Tucker said poking the grenade.

“I... I’m just going to... RUN AWAY!” Church yelled out before bolting down the street. Tucker just looked at Church then the guards before following suit.

“Wait for meeeee!!” Tucker yelled out.

“Well fucking hurry up then!” Church yelled back before bumping into a pony, and sending it flying back a bit. “Uh sorry about that! … Sucker.”

“Shit!” Tucker said jumping over the pony and continuing to follow church. “Wait why are we running from a guard patrol again?”

“Because we stole a lot of shit and probably smashed something that costed, probably well over ten grand.” Church said, as he kept running.

“Son of a bitch Church! You don’t even need twinkies! How do you get me to do this stupid shit!?” Tucker yelled.

“We got to something when Caboose is away! … And twinkies TASTE GREAT!” Church yelled back, before turning a corner and almost smashing into a table. “Shit!”

“You can’t even eat them!” Tucker yelled following Church. “AND CABOOSE IS THE STUPID ONE! I’M A LOVER NOT A STEALER!!”

“Well, say that to the guards!” Church said as he ran into a building.

“Oh fuck you.” Tucker said plainly before jumping over a pony Church had pushed over and running into the building with him. Church slammed the door shut before looking around and quickly walking up the stairs.

“Well... I hope they don’t find us.” Church muttered.

“Yeah... ‘Oh hey! Have you two seen any brightly colored bipedal creatures run by holding bags of stolen goods?’.” Tucker simply changes voices and dismissively waves a hand. “ ‘NAAAAAAAAW Of course not!’.”

“Yeah yeah whatever, Just hope for your sake that they don’t start banging on that door, because I noticed that the escape plan is a two story drop.” Church said looking out the window stealthily.

“What about yo- nevermind... Ghost. Right.” Tucker said facepalming.

“Well... The coast seems clear, let’s eat these...” Church said taking out the twinkies.

“You are a ghost-bot. YOU. CAN’T. EAT.” Tucker said slowly.

“Yeah I don’t give a fuck, Imma smash ‘em into my visor or somethi-...” Church began before aloud banging was heard.

“YOO WHOO! AH KNOW Y’ALL ARE IN THAR!” Applejack yelled through the broken doorway.

“Well... That went fast.” Church said looking at Tucker. “Probably because you smell.”

“Oh how can you even smell? You’re a robot.” Tucker said looking to church with a confused expression.

“I was guessing... but Okay... If you say so... You dumbass.” Church muttered before leaning against a table there.

“Oh shut up metal head.” Tucker said before they heard hooves walking down the hallway towards them. “Ah shit.”

“Well, fuck … Goddamn it.” Church muttered out before looking out the window quickly... He walk over to the door and locked it before turning to the window. “Alright...”

He quickly sprinted and jumped through window as he heard a loud crash behind him and saw Applejack. He then flipped her off. Mid air, before faceplanting on to the road.

“Ouch.” Church muttered as he was laying on the road.

“How did you even feel that?” Tucker yelled from the window.

“This body stimulates pain... Or something, all I know is... That hurt....” Church muttered loudly as he heard a loud ‘thump’ behind him. Tucker had jumped down to the ground with Church before he fell to the ground.

“Oooooow!... Fuck!” Tucker yelled before clutching his ankle. “Stupid suit! You’re supposed to protect me!”

“Well the armor does nothing!” Church said getting slowly up but was pushed back down by something. “What the fuck?”

“Sup?” Rainbow Dash said from Church’s backside.

“Get of me you stupid..” Church said angrily.

“Oh save it. You have nothing going for you right now.” Rainbow said.

“Ha.” Tucker said before limping/running towards the castle. “Yeah fuck this.”

Then a lasso out of literally nowhere came and latched onto Tucker before dragging him over to Church.

“Well so much for you escaping.” Church said still trying to get up, but was held down by Rainbow.

“Nope.” Rainbow said with a smug grin.

“Just get off me!” Church said waving a hand at her.

“Nah.” Rainbow said simply while looking at one of her hooves.

“Oh right to the bondage, not even gonna buy me dinner first?” Tucker said smugly with a grin behind his visor.

“Oh hush up you stallionwhore.” Applejack said glaring at Tucker.

“Oh, she even talks dirty.”

“Yeh want teh lose yah stallionhood?” Applejack asked.

“Well... All of a sudden I don’t feel like talking anymore.”

“Good.” Applejack said.

Church was lying there and looked at his hand, before noticing that it was softly glowing green. He realized last time something glowed softly green was when he had gotten out of the teleporter and when Rino, Roger, Tucker, Donut, Wash, and Grif... Turned to ponies or human again.

“Oh fuck.” Church complained.

“All kinds of duck?” Tucker asked.

“Well that works.” Church said before the glowing intensified, as it did that Church just closed his eyes and sighed angrily. “GOD FUCKING DA-...” He was cut of by a bright green flash. When the bright light died down, Church was somehow lying on his back with a mare on top of him.

“Ugh my head...” Church muttered.

“Well that’s odd.” Rainbow said tilting her head.

“What odd?” Church muttered as he closed his eyes.

“Oh nothing... Just this.” Rainbow said tapping Church’s new horn.

“The fuck? That hurt! Somehow.”

“Well sorry! At least I didn’t do this!” She said swing both hooves at the horn like she was about to smash it in her hooves.

“Nonononoo! Wait a minute.... I can feel pain... My body feels stiff..” Church began before he got interrupted.

“Bow chika bow wow.” Rainbow said before Tucker.

“Hey that’s my line!” Tucker complained.

“And you groped me in my sleep!” Rainbow said back.

“Hey not my fault you were all snuggling with me.” Tucker said wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yeah snuggling! Not groping!” Rainbow said.

“Oh please you know you want me.” Tucker said.

“Oh please yourself!.... Like literally. I would rather do this guy that you.” Rainbow said pointing to Church.

“I AM ALIVE!!!” Church yelled up and springing up and standing on two hooves and waving in the air dramaticly. “Wait... That means, I’m no longer a ghost?” He questioned himself.

“Wait you were a ghost?” Rainbow said still on his chest.

“Wait are you clinging to my chest?”

“Maybe.” Rainbow said smiling. “How come if you are a metal pony you have such soft fur?”

“I’m made of meta-...” Church began.

“Bow Chicka bow wow.“ Tucker interrupted.

“No?” Rainbow said before looking to church and tapping him on the head. “Nope. You’re not metal.”

“I wonder if I’m still a ghost or not...” Church said to himself before falling and landing on his back. “Son of a bitch that hurt.”

“Ha.” Rainbow said smiling still on his chest.

“Why are you on my chest?” Church asked.

“Holding you down.” Rainbow said shrugging.

“You are doing a terrible job of it.” Church said.

“Oh yeah? Try and get up?” Rainbow challenged.

Tucker just walked over, that right he can walk in pony form now. And picked up the bag of stolen goods. “I’m just gonna give ya the twinkies.” He said before picking out the twinkies, and throwing them to Church.

They landed a bit away from him, and he was desperately trying to grab it. “Eh, almost... Ehhh.” His hoof was a inch away from reaching the box.

“Whoops.” Rainbow said as her wings flared and knocked the box away even further. “Silly me.”

“Oh you....” Church said glaring at her.

“Oh you love it.” Rainbow said before using one of her wings to bring the box back to it’s original place away from Church.

“Oh now you are taunting me.” Church said trying to get up.

“Yea.” Rainbow said forcing him back down and still smiling. “Still not getting up by the way.”

Church just glared at Rainbow before going back to his quest for the golden morsels that are twinkies. “Almost.... Got’em.”

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Later)

(At the castle)

A cobalt blue stallion, with a short, spiky black with blue tinted tips and a tail that was the same also had a rough beard, walked into the room... And he had a sky blue, rainbow maned Pegasus on his back. Snuggling into the back of head.

“Why are you so sooooooft!?” Rainbow asked as she snuggled into his mane more.

“For like the tenth time! I don’t know!” Church said annoyed.

“Awwwwww that’s so cute!” Roger said smiling at Church and Rainbow.

“Oh fuck off bitch...” Church hissed.

“Oh I love you too!” Roger yelled before picking up Church and hugging him, with Rainbow falling off.

“Ah! Let me down damn it!” Church said, before noticing. “Wait you are human again.”

“I am? Sorry I haven’t noticed... Mood swings.” Roger said plainly.

“Eh...... Right....” Church said slowly and carefully.

“Why are you so soft?” Roger asked petting his mane.

“I’m not soft! I’m hard god damn it!”

“Bow chika bow wow.” Tucker, Rainbow, and Roger said at the same time.

“Eh.... Uh.... EGAAHHASG!” Church screamed out as he was slowly having a mental breakdown.

“Oh calm down!” Roger said before gently scratching Church behind his ears.

The effect was instant, he was slowly melting and starting to kick with one of his hindlegs. “Oh god that feels so goddamn gooooood.” Church said as all of his troubles melted away from being scratched behind the ear.

“Wow.... That was unexpected.” Roger said before stopping.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Meanwhile back at Blood Gulch)

“Oh my god..... CHURCH IS GETTING SCRATCHED BEHIND HIS EAR!” Caboose suddenly screamed out.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?... And how do you even know that?” Simmons asked.

“I’m his best friend, do you wanna know how I and Church becomes best friends?” Caboose asked.

“No. No. No. No stories! I have had enough of those!” Simmons yelled out.

“It all started, on a sunny a day in...” Caboose started.

“OH GODDAMN IT!”

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Back to Equestria)

Church was sitting on the couch next to Roger and had Rainbow snuggling up against his side.

“Cooome ooon!” Church whined. “It felt so good! Cooome on!”

“No! I am not doing it again!” Roger said looking at Church.

“Come oooon! I know you want too! Just one more time! Please?!” Church whined out clinging to her side.

“When did you become so needy?!” Roger asked slightly annoyed.

“Since you scratched me behind the ear!” Church said doing puppy eyes. Roger just looked at Church before sighing.

“I liked you better when you were an asshole.” Roger said shaking her head.

“Oh I can still be that.... But, I want my ears scratched nooow!” Church whined.

“You’re like a child!” Roger yelled.

“Oh consider me your second then.” Church said smiling evilly.

“.... Now you don’t get any ear scratches.... EVER.” Roger said looking away.

“...” Church just remained silent before climbing on top her lap and looking her straight in the eyes. “Scratch.”

“No.” Roger said back before pushing him down so he was sitting. He just quickly got back up and looked at her with a little water in his eyes.

“Please?”

“Gonna have to try harder than that. I have killed things that have had tears in their eyes.” Roger said deadpanning.

Then he pulled out the heavy artillery, he used puppy eyes and tears at the same time, and directed them at roger.

“Oh you bitch.” Roger said trying to look away.

“Pweeease?” Church begged. ‘This is utterly humiliating for me, but holy fuck getting scratched behind the ears is like having ten orgasms at once!’

“.. Fine! God enough of the face!” Roger said finally pushing him back down, laying him across her lap, and gently beginning to scratch his ears. “Happy now?”

“Ooooh, god yes....” Church said as his hind leg kicked and he wagged his tail. Roger just shook her head and looked at her Robot arm for moment before she switched hands from a warm hand to a suddenly cold hand.

“Woah!... Woah! That’s cold!” Church said shuddering a bit.

“Just hold on!” Roger said firmly before her robotic hand warmed up to the point of near boiling but not hot enough to burn or singe anything. “Better?”

Church could not find any words to say anything but instead just drooled and gurgled to himself.

“Wow..... That had quite the effect.” Roger said looking to Church. She continued to scratching his ears for a few minutes before finally stopping and sighing. “There... I’m done.”

Church, just quickly snapped out of it and said. “Thank you!” before going back to gurgling and drooling.

“Oh what’s so great about it!?” Tucker asked slightly frustrated that he still didn’t get any attention from the mares or girl.

“He’s still soft...” Rainbow said and looked up and saw Twilight. “Hey Twi! Come here!”

“Yes Rainbow?” She asked looking at her scroll.

“Would just come here!” Rainbow said impatiently.

“Ugh fine!” She said rolling up her scroll and walking over. “Yeeesss?”

“This guy is so soft it feels like touching a cloud..... But better.”

“Oh nothing is that soft.” Twilight said lifting a hoof and putting it against Church’s side. “........ Holy beard of Celesita’s mother..... That is soft.”

No seriously.... This guy’s coat... I mean. Wow.

Reverse effects for the win?

Hell yeah.

“Okay seriously, Church... How is getting scratched behind the ears so great?” Tucker asked walking over.

“It’s like an orgasm... Except …. Ten time or hundred times better!” Church said snapping out of his trance.

“Oh now that’s bullshit.” Tucker said pointing a hoof at Church.

“Hey Rarity! Come here quickly!” Twilight yelled, soon after Rarity came walking out of her room.

“What is it, darling?” She asked.

“NYYEEEEEEH!!” Twilight squealed rubbing Church’s stomach.

“Is it really that soft?” Rarity asked walking over and gently touching Church’s stomach. “By the beard of the mother of Celestia’s mother....... That is REALLY soft.”

“I don’t understand... I used to be metal!” Church whined as he laying down on his side in Roger’s lap. “Stop it!.... It feel good, but stoooop goddamn it! I feel so violated!”

“Hey Rainbow grab his horn.” Roger said. Rainbow thought about it for a minute before shrugging.

“Okay!” And simply dragging her hoof along Church’s horn suddenly. And the the effect was instant, he had literally had an orgasm right there, aka horngasm and it was quite powerful too, I mean it was so powerful that the table flipped, the windows shattered, Tucker got thrown and stuck in the wall. In fact it was so powerful that a giant blue shockwave was echoing through the sky and left a permanent mark of his magic. And Church was simply laying there panting heavily.

ROger looked to Church then to Tucker before saying. “Dude.... Not did you get upstaged.... YOu got owned.... By a horngasm.”

“Oh... God.....” Church said trying to crawl away. “No... no!... More pleasure! Please!”

Roger just burst into laughter and picked up Church before standing up. “Alright alright... That was funny as hell though.”

Then she walked down the hallway of the rooms until she stumbled upon Wash. “Hey who’s that?” He asked and surprisingly he was human again.

“Wow... Your human again.” Roger said before shaking her head. “Anyway... This is Church.... And feel his fur! It’s fucking soft!”

“Oh it can’t be that soft.” Wash said before reaching forward and gently rubbing Church’s belly. “Oh..... My.... God.... That is the softest fur.... Ever.... OF.... ALL.... TIME.”

“No! Nooo more!” Church whined. “Tooo much... Pleasure!”

“Oh you love it.” Roger said looking down at him.

“Just... Gimmie... A Kiss then! OrgoawayIdontknowanymore!” Church cried out.

“Oh hush up.” Roger said ever so gently scratching his ears again.

“No! Nooo! Noooo! Oh god it feels so good.” Church said sobbing a bit.

“..... Should we be worried?” Roger asked Wash, who was still rubbing Church’s stomach.

“I just want to go to beeed!” Church sobbed out.

“Oh okay.... Now shoo! Shoo you!” Roger said slapping Wash’s mask with her normal hand. Wash just quickly scurried away, like some sort of stray animal. “That.... Was creepy. Better Church?”

Church was quietly sobbing but trying to control himself. “So… Much... Pleasure! I wanna sleep.”

“Shuuush. Shush Church. Roggie with take care of everything.” Roger said gently patting Church on the back and letting her motherly instincts take over for a moment. Church just nuzzled into her neck before sighing and trying to control his sobbings. Roger simply took him over to the guest rooms before opening them up and walking to her room.

With a quiet, somehow, kick of the door, it was opened and she brought Church over to the bed. “Alright I am just gonna put you down now alright?” Roger said starting to lower Church onto the bed.

Church reluctantly let go of Roger, she was kinda like a bit of his mother right now, and since apparently turned into a pony causes you to revert back to your childish instincts for either a day or forever (In Rino’s case.) Or just occasionally. She lifted the covers up before setting Church down on the bed.

“There you go Church.” Roger said smiling down at Church before thinking. ‘Where the fuck did this come from? Oh well. Figure it out later.’

“Snugglie snugglie.” Church muttered as he snuggled into the pillow. Roger just shook her head and walked to the door. She smiled as she saw Church snuggling into the pillows before she turned off the lights and closed the door as she walked out.

“B-but! I want Roggie! Or mommy, either one works!” Church yelled out. Roger just stopped and sighed before opening the door again and looked inside.

“Yes, Church?” She said softly.

“Huggies?” Church asked looking at Roger with his arms in the air for hugs. ROger just shook her head and walked over before sitting on the edge of the bed and putting her arms, both mechanical and organic around Church.

“May I ask why you wanted a hug?” Roger asked.

“I feel lonely otherwise.” Church said a little bit sad. Roger just sighed before hugging Church a bit tighter.

“I know that feeling Church. I know that feeling.” Roger said. Church just hugged back tighter before a small snore was heard. Roger just shook her head before letting go and standing back up, unfortunately..... Church’s grip was pretty damn good and he hung from Roger’s neck like a necklace. “Well then.... What do I do now?”

Roger just stood there for a moment before shrugging and laying on the bed with Church next to her, still gripping her midsection and snoring. “Might as well take a nap.” Roger said yawning.

All of a sudden, the bathroom slowly opened and someone came out of the bathroom. There was the distinct sound of paws hitting the ground, and it was getting closer to the bed. Something sniffed the air and said.

“You smell like waffles.”

“Rino? What are you talking about?” Roger asked

“You smell like waffles.” Rino repeated himself.

“And pray tell how you know that?” Roger asked looking into the darkness. “And for the love of god just turn on the light if you’re not gonna lay down.”

“Eh... Not sure if....” Rino said reluctantly.

“Oh what is it? Did you get a dog or something?.... Because I am smelling wet dog.” Roger said sniffing the air for a second.

“Well... Uh...” Rino mused still standing still, he scratched his head for a few seconds before walking over to the couch and sitting down.

“Oh why are you over there?” Roger asked looking up. “Is it because I am snuggling with pony Church?”

“He smells, like...” There was some loud sniffing. ”Twinkies for some reason.”

“Oh he ate like 20 of them earlier. So are you gonna come over here or just continue to sit in the dark like a stalker?” Roger asked.

Rino just put up his legs on the table in front of him and leaned back and putting his hand behind his head. “I’m comfy here...”

“Rino just get over here.” Roger said too tired to really argue at this point.

“You are bossy all of a sudden...” Rino said sounding a bit more gruff than usual.

“I’m tired. And having something soft pressing against me. So yes. I am a bit tired. Plus chaning back to human takes a rather large toll of energy from me.” Roger said leaning back onto the bed.

“I can’t see with my left eye.... Yet I guess, it must be off or something.” Rino said still sitting there, not moving. Roger just groaned before beginning to pry Church off of her waist.

“Come. On. GET. OFF!” Roger angrily muttered at Church as she pried his arms off. “There finally.”

Rino was humming a tune, and was leaned back in the dark, just chilling in the middle of night. Roger just grumbled a bit as she replaced a pillow in Church’s arms before getting out of the bed and going over to the wall and searching for the light.

“Wha’cha doing?” Rino asked casually.

“Looking for the light. What else?” Roger said as she patted the walls.

“Finding the door maybe?” Rino asked.

“Whhhyyyyy?” Roger asked as she continued to look for the switch.

“To get out?....” Rino said.

“And why would I do that?” Roger asked as she continued to search.

“I dunno, beer?” Rino said.

“I stocked the mini-fridge in case you haven’t noticed.” Roger said as she neared the switch, hopefully.

“Oh, you have?” Rino said looking at the mini fridge under the table. He opened it and took out a beer. “Oh you have!”

“Yea-... Fuck this, Imma using my flashlight.” Roger said as a small box lifted from her arm and shined a very bright light. “That’s better.”

“Woah! All of a sudden it’s very fucking bright here.” Rino said squinting his eyes.

“Yeah... I turned on my flashlight. Like I said I would.” Roger said before shining it around. “AH HA! There’s the lightswitch.”

“Huh... I thought it was next to the door...” Rino said.

“It is.” Roger said walking over to the door.

“So you could have looked for the door.” Rino deadpanned.

“Yes, but... I didn’t want to.” Roger said smiling in the darkness before grabbing the switch and turning the lights on. “There we go!”

“GAAH! MY EYES!” Rino almost yelled out.

“Oh, don’t be such a big bab-” Roger said before turning around. “EHHEY hey.... Woah.”

“What?” Rino growled out as he covered his eyes.

“... Well... You are a very big dog.... With. Arms. And hands.” Roger said looking over Rino and letting the flashlight retract into her arm. “And bipedal.”

“Well... Yes? Is there a problem with that?” Rino said as he removed his hand to reveal Deep sea blue eyes, well, one at least.

“Considering we were both ponies for a long time.... Naw. This isn’t that big of a deal. Kinda grown used to seeing stuff like this now.” Roger said gesturing to both Rino and Church.

“Well the sense of smell I have...” There was some sniffing. “The hell, why do I smell excitement on you?” Rino said looking at Roger.

“Well it’s kinda... That.” Roger said pointing to a private area of Rino’s.

“Oh.... Well.... Still I kinda smell some on you. Weirdly enough.” Rino said looking at her.

“This is gonna end up in sex isn’t it?” Roger deadpanned.

“Oh hell yes.” Rino said sarcastically. “Let’s see how long I last.”

Roger just shook her head before a idea popped into her head. “Hmmm... Hey Rino. Do you think your leg would kick if I scratched your ears?”

“Huh?” Rino just said tierdly and looking at her. “Why do you want to know that?”

Roger justy shrugged before walking over and sitting next to him. “Eh. Just your a dog... Man... thing. So I thought that you might have the same traits as a dog.”

“Eh... I dunno, I’m just tired.” Rino said shrugging a little.

“Then hold still a moment.” Roger said before she reached up and gently scratched behind Rino’s, now furry and pointed, ears.

Slowly but surely, his right leg started to kick as he leaned in to the scratch. “This feels ungodly good!” Rino said as he almost started drooling. Then Roger simply stopped and smirked.

“I was right!” She said happily.

“Heeey! Why did’cha stop?” Rino whined before looking at her and leaning back again.

“Well because of what happened to Church.” Roger said.
“And that was?” Rino asked with a eyebrow raised.

“Too much pleasure.” Roger said giving Rino her best grim and dark voice she could muster, which was pretty easy for a soldier.

“I wonder how I would.... Hm.... I wonder how I would.... Huuuuh.....” Rino said as he looked off in the distance, although it looked like he looked at a wall.

“Hey lassy there is no well over there.” Roger said snapping her fingers in front of Rino. Rino shook his head as he was ‘snapped’ out of it and looked at Roger, he then looked at her boob before grabbing it and honking it again.

“Teehee.” Rino said as he kept squeezing.

“Well fine then. No more ear scratches for you.” Roger said.

“I have these.” Rino said as he gave both of them a firm squeeze. Roger just shook her head and took his paw-hands off before sighing.

“Then no more of anything.” Roger said smiling.

“What! But the beer!” Rino said despaired.”

“No beer either.” Roger said.

“NOO!!!!” Rino yelled out getting to his knees.

“Oh don’t be so melodramatic.”

“ANYTHING BUT THE BEER!” Rino begged as he grabbed on to Rogers leg. Roger jsut shook her head and gently flicked his ear.

“Oh hush up.” She said.

“Holy fuck! These things are sensitive!” Rino said folding his ear, more awkwardly his face was more or less buried close to Rogers crotch.

“Well stop being so dramtically then!” Roger said snickering at Rino’s discomfort. “You act like my dog back home if he could’ve talked.”

“You had a dog?” Rino said looking up.

“Well yeah. Where else would I learn the ‘ear-flick’ trick?” Roger said shrugging.
“I learned it from a doctor named Cox.” Rino said.

“Huh... Oh well then. Oh get off the floor!” Roger said looking down at Rino.

“So you count as the floor now? Then don’t mind me undressing you.” Rino said as he grabbed a hold off her pants and started pulling on them.

“Nooooooo.” Roger said pushing him away with her robot arm. “Not right now.”

The pushing just made Rino fall back while holding her pants, causing them to slip off faster. “Oh bugger. Stupid spandex.” Roger muttered. “Why do superheros wear them?”

“I dunno.... Hey, didn’t know you had pink panties!” Rino said looking at her panties.

“Oh shut up. I couldn’t find any others. All my black ones disappeared. Besides they aren’t mine.” Roger said shrugging.

“Soo... who’s are they?” Rino said.

“Well.... Earlier.” Roger said.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(In Celestia’s chambers)

(Earlier)

“Why do I feel as if something is missing from my room?” She asked herself as she looked around. “I know! It’s the newspaper!... Now where did I leave it?”

Then she walked over to her door and saw Luna walking down the halls. “Hey Luna!” She yelled out.

“Yeah?!” Luna yelled back.

“Where’s the newspaper!?” Celestia asked.

“I don’t know! Maybe you sat on it!” Luna answered.

“You that last time!” Celesita whined.

“And you sent me to the moon for it!” Luna yelled angrily

“Alright, really! Where is the news paper?!” Celestia yelled back.

“I DON’T BUCKING KNOW ALRIGHT!?!?” Luna yelled. “JUST GO BUY A NEW ONE!!”

“But I can’t!” Celestia whined. Then Luna appeared in front of Celestia.

“WHY!?” Luna bellowed at her sister.

“Because I don’t have any money!” Celestia whined. Luna blinked.

“What?.. Dear mother tell me you didn’t spend the government funds on a cake factory again.” Luna yelled facehoofing.

“No... I.... I haven’t gotten my allowance in.... Oh I don’t know... A few thousand years maybe?” Celestia yelled back.

“Celestia... You are a princess. You don’t get a allowance.” Luna yelled dragging her hoof down her face in frustration.

“Does that mean I can take it all from the government funding?” Celestia yelled back.

“NO!!” Luna bellowed. “JUST!... Just go to your royal bank account. And take it from there.”

“But its all empty....” Celestia yelled.

“....... You spent it on cake, crayons, parchment, and hookers didn’t you.” Luna deadpanned.

“No, Not hooker.... Never hooker.... Although... “ Celestia mused.

“Expensive prostitutes?” Luna asked. “The pimps themselves?”

“I was more thinking....... Giant whales.” Celestia yelled.

“Wha... Ho... WHERE WOULD YOU EVEN PUT THEM!?!” Luna bellowed.

“Look at the floor!” Celestia yelled back.

“WH-” Luna looked down and seeing a massive aquarium put in Celestia’s floor. With giant whales in it. “Yeeeee...... How did I miss this?.. Not only that... How did you find the whales?”

“I bought like ten of them!” Celestia yelled back with a huge smile on her face. THen the doors to Celestia’s room were flung off ther hinges to reveal a very angry and very sleepy looking Roger.

“Will both of you kindly... SHUT THE FUCK U-... Why are there whales in the floor?” Roger asked looking down.

“I bought like ten of them!” Celestia repeated herself.

“Huh..... So. Two things.” Roger said walking over to Celestia’s drawers and stealing a pair of undergarments. “One: I borrowing these.”

“Have you seen my newspaper?” Celestia asked. “Also can you feed the whales?”

“How would I feed the whales? Don’t they eat like... krill?” Roger asked.

“I don’t know... I just throw black undergarments in there and they seem to eat those...” Celestia said.

“.... So that’s where my panties have been going.” Roger mused. “Also you owe me like.... ten pairs of black panties. Even more pressing use fish. They eat those.”

“Why not the colors of the rainbow?” Celestia asked.

“Because they are not unicorn whales.” Roger said walking into Celestia’s bathroom and a emerging a few minutes later. “Alright. And you answered my second thing so I will be off. And please dear god stop yelling.”

“But, my whales like it when I yell.” Celestia said.

“How can you tell?” Roger asked as she walked to the door.

“They have huge puppy eyes.”

“... Celestia... That means they don’t like it.” Roger said putting emphasis on ‘don’t’.

“Oh by the way! I fixed new new panties... But they will be here in like three days...” Celestia said.

“Thanks.” Roger said walking to the door.

“I also got your bra size!” Celestia said with a smile.

“That.... is... so creepy.” Roger said looking at Celestia.

“Luna sniffed one of your panties!” Celestia said throwing a hoof around Luna.

“I DID NOT! You made me do it!” Luna said blushing.

“Oh please you did on your own accord!” Celestia said with a huge smile.

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!” Roger bellowed at them nearly matching their Canterlot voices. “Now... I have just one thing to ask.”

“Okay? I like crayons.” Celestia said.

“Very nice. Anyway... Do either of yo-” Roger began.

“Do you like salad cake?” Celestia said quickly.

“Huh? I like carrot cake?” Roger said.

“Do dogs kick their leg when scratched behind the ear?” Celestia asked quickly.

“Yes.” Roger answered. “Now will you let me finish.

“No?” Celestia asked. “Luna wants to say how big a fan she is.” Celestia said.

“Of what?” Roger asked looking at Luna.

“Uuuuuh... I like explosions. A-and fire.” Luna said looking away and blushing.

“More like your panties.” Celestia said.

“Oh shut you fool.” Roger said to Celestia. “Also... ANyone want to snuggle? I’m tired and bored.”

“Nah Its okay, I got a missing newspaper to find.” Celestia said with determination in her voice.

“Aw... How about you?” Roger said looking to Luna.

“... Sure?” Luna said unsure. “Actually I have to go attend night cou-”

“Too bad! We snuggle.” Roger said Picking Luna up. “Oh and the newspaper is in the hallway next to the dining hall.” Then walking off with a confused Luna in her arms.

“Oh... Right o! I’m off to find it then.” Celestia said walking after them before taking a left.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

“And that is what happened.” Roger said shrugging, somehow sitting on the couch with Rino now. What she failed to notice was that Rino had somehow managed to take of her panties, and was holding them.

“They are stretchy.” Rino said stretching them.

“AH! How did you get them off!?” Roger said covering herself.

“You were so busy storytelling to notice...” Rino said, sniffing them.

“Well give’em back!” Roger yelled.

“They smell weird.” Rino said wryly.

“That is because they aren't mine.” Roger said bluntly before trying to snatch her stolen panties. Rino oddly enough just steered his arm right, causing her to swipe at empty air. “Oh come on! Now you are actually doing something?”

“Uh... What did I do?” Rino said tiredly.

“Oh just give them back!” Roger said still covering herself. “It’s cold!”

“Oh right.... You don’t wear a bra...” Rino said before slowly backing away.

“OH SHUT UP!” Roger yelled before almost whining. “Just give’em back! It’s freezing here!”

“Eh... They are not yours.... I might just rip them ‘cause why not.”

“Oh for fucks sake.” Roger said facepalming. “Rino don’t do that! I need those damned things!”

“You didn’t say that when you were naked in the bed.” Rino said smirking, somehow, smugly.

Roger just remained quiet before shaking her head. “Nope. Just nope.” Then getting up and walking towards the doors. “No shame.”

Now was the time Church who had remained quiet with a small smile on his face looked at Roger and said. “Bitch, please.... I can see the blush from here.”

“Ooooh... Now you are dead.” Roger said turning around. “Imma throw you to a bunch of schoolkids and let them feel how soft your fur is.”

“Oh dear Jesus, Not that! Anything but that.” Church said backing away a bit before falling off the bed. “Son of a bitch.”

“But first.... My pants.” Roger said walking over and picking up her pants before trying to put them on.

Then some asshole named Rino came and swiped them from her before going ape shit all over the place and somehow, end up standing on the bed, whilst Church was on the couch.

“GOD DAMN IT RINO! I JUST WANT MY FUCKING PANTS!” ROger yelled out in borderline rage.

“Nope! can’t do princess.” Rino said with a smug smile.

“Oh just fuck it all to hell.” Roger said glumly and sitting down hugging her legs.

“The hell?” Both Church and Rino said at the same time. Roger just sat there before she let out a small sob, trying not to let Rino or Church hear. Unfortunetly for her, both Church and Rino have very sensitive hearing, you know dog... and a pony....

Church just sat there awkwardly, just looking away tying to be invisible. “I fucking hate these situations...” he muttered, Rino just walked over and kneeled down next to her... But not before dropping the pants and panties on the bed.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s with you all of a sudden?” Rino asked with a very comforting voice, somehow. Roger just pushed him away a bit.

“Oh, go away. You’re mean.” Roger said before turning away and hugging her legs again. You could literally hear both Church, and Rino's jaws just snapping off of their hinges and literally having a rocket blast off.

Rino regained his composure before just hugging from behind. “I’m not mean, I’m just teasing with you.... You forgot to say please!”

“You’re still mean.” Roger said shrugging off his hug and not looking at him.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that.” Rino said, before hugging her again.

“No go away. You’re mean.” Roger said trying to scoot away from Rino.

“No.” Rino said stubbornly.

“You’re still mean.” Roger said holding her verbal ground.

“... But... But I love you! Why would I be mean towards you?” Rino asked.

“You’re still mean.” Roger repeated still not looking at Rino.

Rino just sighed, before releasing her and standing up, he then walked over to the bed and threw himself over it.

“Well this is awkward...” Church said, looking around the room.

“You’re mean too.” Roger said.

“The fuck have I done?” Church asked in disbelief.

“You’re both mean.” Roger said not looking at either of them.

“Just come to bed?” Rino said.

“No, you’re mean.” Roger said.

“Okay.... Be that way, Church come here.” Rino said.

“What? I can’t have this couch? Its like ungodly soft.” Church said.

“Shut up, apparently Roggie wants the Chur- Couch. The Couch okay.”

“This is cold.” Roger complained to herself. Then she got before walking over and grabbing her pants, can’t be cold anymore can she?, before putting them on and snuggling against Rino.

“Soo... Change of mind?” Rino said as he looked at Roger.

“What?” Roger asked before she snuggled into Rino’s chest. “Mmm snuggle snuggle. Imma snuggle you to death.”

“Oh? All of a sudden you are very affectionate....”

“Mm snuggle snuggle. Imma snuggle Church too.” Roger said before getting up and grabbing Church.

“What?” Church said looking at Roger before looking at the Couch. “Wait! I was all comfy and shit!”

Then Roger hopped onto the bed and laid Church next to her before snuggling against Rino and holding Church with one arm while she does it. “Mmmm. Snuggle snuggle.” Roger said snuggling into his fur. “Snuggling is fun.”

While Church was snuggling back because he was tired. “Ehhhhgeee... eh.... Mommy.” He muttered.

“Wait what?” Rino said wide-eyed. “What the hell? Did Roger adopt you?”

“Yes.” They both said at the same time.

“Okay this is the time I say, for real break u-....” Rino tried to say before he was interuppted.

“Kissy.” Roger said as she kissed him. “Kissy kissy.”

Rino just... Was stunned, just didn’t know how to act, so he just returned the kiss.

“Yay. Kissy kissy.” Roger said happily before pulling both Church and Rino closer and giving a small yet adorable yawn. “God I am tired all of a sudden.”

“Well..... Let’s sleep maybe?” Rino suggested. Then two small snores were heard from his side as Roger had cuddled up against Church while Church was snuggled into Her side.

“Oh well.” Rino said getting up and walking over to a chair before putting on clothes and walking to the door, then out of the room.

“Time to go to Chillax tree!... Wherever that is.” And then, he walked around the castle for a while trying to find his Chillax tree.

Author's Note

Aright! Finally! A freaking chapter.... Took me long enough.

My editor says Hi to you all, at least he says it over the skype call I had with him... Oh and why the chapter have been delayed? This is why.

Too much solo cue with Darius does that, that and shit ton of hours on Dragon age. I mean come on, the game is fucking enchanting... Same for Far Cry three.... And Minecraft.... You know, I've been playing shit ton of games.. And been lazy as fuck when it came down to writing this chapter all in all.... Another thing is that I seem to be running out of ideas, so next chapter will possibly be a small time skip... To where they are in Ponyville.

Also I want to thank Chillax brony for letting me use his name in my story, and I want to thank RainbowBob, Pinkies imagination, and Beta Master (or Masta Beta.) for helping me with the name.

Anyhow, with that out of the way.
If you spot any errors, feel free to hit me up on PM... Or Punch me... either way... You can also comment down below.

Till next time,
The Alpha

This chapter don't have any name.... Which sucks.

Chapter 10;This chapter don't have any name.... Which sucks.

About a week and a half had gone by since the incident of ‘Morning-sex-gone-wrong’ and now everyone was sitting at the dining table eating their breakfast. Unfortunately for everyone, a mishap caused them all to be turned back to ponies again.

Now, the mane six the other guys aka Reds and Blues were sitting at the dinner table at Canterlot eating breakfast, all whilst quietly chatting with each other and then Twilight remembered something.

“Weren’t we supposed to be in Ponyville by now?” She asked with a look of confusion on her face.

“Nnnope.” Roger said quickly.

“Well..... Might be high time that we go back?” Twilight said, looking at the other girls.

“That’s a definite yes! I completely forgot about mah farm!” Applejack said sitting up in her seat.

“No yelling.” Roger groaned out.

“I fucking forgot my booze.” Church said as he was looking around his seat for any filled beer cans. “All of them are empty, god damn it.”

“Ha.” Roger said.

“Oh shut up.” Church said, looking back up at the table.

“I will scratch you behind the ears.” Roger said.

“Oh boo-hoo.” Church said slightly annoyed.

“Oh you cried and you know it.” Roger said going back to her breakfast.

“Yeah yeah.” Church muttered as he looked at Tucker, who was a complete slob when he was eating, Church just slapped him behind the head. “Mind your manners.”

“The fuck? Why you do that?” Tucker asked rubbing his head. “You didn’t do that when we were at Blood Gulch. There we ate like it was our last day!”

“Tell me about it.” Rino said quietly.
“This isn’t Blood Gulch is it?” Church asked, looking around.

“Nope! And thank god.” Roger said.

“Whatever.” Tucker and Church said at the same time, before Rape-.... Rainbow Dash decided to speak up.

“I really need to get back to my work.... I’m behind on like what? Everything.” She said looking a bit distressed. “So much paperwork.”

“Y-yeah I need to get back to my animals as well.” Fluttershy squeaked out.

“I have dresses to make!” Rarity said, looking somewhat horrified. “I haven’t fulfilled any of my orders yet!”

“I have so many parties to throw!” Pinkie protested. “Even though this place is nice and all that, I would like to go back home.”

“So much complaining.” Roger said then Roger noticed something. “Where the fuck is Grif?”

“Well... Last I saw him, he was s-...” Donut began, before a loud yawn was heard from the entrance.

“You called?” Grif said, before walking over and taking a seat next to Tucker.

“Oh... Well nevermind then.” Roger said shrugging.

“Dude, fucking shower more often.” Tucker said disgusted trying to scoot away from Grif. “Oh wait, what am I saying? Your Grif, the walking human dumpster.”

“Fuck you too Tucker.” Grif said at Tucker, before looking around at the table, which had a lot of different food on it. “Would someone pass the milk and cereal?”

“No, I am eating it.” Roger said.

“Yeah, but there is more of it, and besides you aren’t even eating it currently.... Just staring at it.” Grif said.

“Still no.” Roger said. “Too tired.”

“God damn it.” Grif muttered as he leaned back into his chair.

“Just get it yourself!” Roger said a bit annoyed.

Rino just reached over and took both the milk, and cereal and passed it to Applejack who then passed it to Rainbow Dash, who passed it on to Twilight who gave it to Tucker, who then gave it to Grif.

“Aw... My cereal.” Roger said.

“You weren’t eating it.” Rino said, chewing on a sandwich.

“It’s the principle of the matter!” Roger said.

“So should we all go to Ponyville today?” Twilight asked, as she was eating a salad, she looked to all of the others.

“Sure, why not! Then maybe we can all grow wings and fly into space!” Roger said grumpily.

“No need to be so sarcastic.” Rainbow Dash said, looking at Roger.

“No need to be a rapist, Rapebow Dash.” Roger hissed. Everyone just quieted up, specifically the guys.

“...Low blow dude.” Rainbow said looking down at her plate.

“You started it.” Roger said simply.

“I started it?” Rainbow said starting to get angry.

“Yeah! If you hadn’t started to try and go after Rino every five minutes maybe I wouldn’t have to have asked for locks on our door!” Roger yelled out.

“Well, maybe if Rino wasn't exactly my type and wasn't perfect in every way I would be more interested in Tucker so fuck you too.” Rainbow said angrily. Everyone went quiet, including Roger, while Tucker had a shit-eating grin on his face.

“....Wow.” Was all Roger could say, mostly stupefied. Rino and Church were sitting there looking awkwardly away, whilst Donut just sat there quietly saying “Rawr.”

“Don’t like where this conversation is going.” Rino whispered to Church, who just nodded.

“Oooh bitch you are starting to tread on thin ice.” Roger growled out.

“Tucker isn’t worth shit anyway, so if Rino was too change and not be perfect I would go for Church,and Tucker would be the last pony I would go for honestly.” Rainbow said narrowing her eyes and grinding her teeth in anger.

“BITCH DO YOU WANT ME TO WRING YOUR NECK!?” Roger said standing up and slamming her hooves against the table.

“Bring it you lankey slut!” Rainbow said shooting up out of her seat.

“OH I AM GOING TO RIP YOU IN HALF!” Roger said as she leapt from her from seat at Rainbow.

“Bring it on you ass!” Rainbow said as she darted for Roger. Rino shot up from his seat and grabbed Roger before she could go after Rainbow and Twilight grounded Rainbow with her magic.

“Gah! Let me kill her!” Roger shouted as she struggled in Rino’s grip. “I’ll break her wings!”

“No, that won’t do....” Rino said as he was holding her back. “That won’t do at all.”

“Right! Everyone, let’s all go get packed shall we?” Twilight said with a fake smile and trying to keep Rainbow from moving.

“Don’t mind if I do!” Church said shooting up from his seat and running out of the room. Everyone else soon followed leaving Rino to drag a raging Roger away and a Twilight to keep a fuming Rainbow Dash under control.

“I’ll kill her! Roast her like a turkey and eat her alive!” Roger shouted as Rino dragged her out of the room.

“I will use your armour to spear your insides and become a carnivore just to eat your heart!!” Rainbow bellowed out.

“Right..... This just got officially freaky.” Tucker said walking after them.

“I’ll pluck your feathers and use them as quills to write a letter to your mum while using your blood as ink!!” Roger shouted back just as the doors closed.

“This is going to be fun...” Twilight said face hoofing and sighing.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

Soon everyone was standing outside on the platform with Roger on the right and Rainbow on the left with everyone else in between them so that they could not be at each other’s throats. Only glare at each other.

“I am going to poison your food you feathery bitch.” Roger said as she glared at Rainbow Dash.

“I will put poison joke in your next meal and see if you change into a stallion.” Rainbow said angrily towards Roger.
“Okay, could someone calm them the fuck down?” Church asked as he was fidgeting around uncomfortably.

“I could try!” Donut said. “I took a class on helping relationship problems once!”

“Oh dear god no.” Church said even more distressed. “Not you, of all the people. NOT YOU.”

“Aww...” Donut said said. “Would you rather have Tucker help?”

“From the look of it..... He looks very uncomfortable too.” Church said as he pointed a hoof in Tucker’s direction. Tucker unfortunately got to stand next to Rainbow Dash, and was fidgeting around nervously hoping that she wouldn’t take out all her anger on him. In a small fit of anger, Rainbow punched Tucker in the chest causing him to have a small coughing fit.

“Ow... You bitch.” Tucker coughed out.

“Bad move, here have a cone to protect you.” Grif said quietly before sliding over a road cone, before he scooted away. Tucker just picked up the cone and said.

“Protect me cone!” That caused Rainbow to take the cone and slam it down onto his muzzle and get it stuck there.

“Shut up okay?! I hate your stupid face.” Rainbow said while giving Tucker the evil eye.

“That’s at least one thing we can agree on.” Roger growled out.

“Can’t that fucking train get here?” Church asked looking towards the distance.

“Yeah, so I can throw Rapebow into it.” Roger growled out.

“Shut up and give Rino a blow job like the woman you are.” Church said angrily whilst looking at Roger.

“I will rip your dick off and feed it to Tucker.” Roger growled out at Church.

“You don’t fucking scare me bitch.” Church just growled back, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re alive now. I can rip you apart and let you die.” Roger said.

“I’m still a fucking ghost, and I know what your weakness is.” Church said before a loud whistle was heard in the distance. “Fucking finally.”

“I call window seat!” Roger said as she ran into the train as it arrived.

“I call my own damn.... CAR!” Church said annoyed.

“You can’t have that.” Twilight said walking up to Church.

“Why?” Church asked looking at Twilight.

“We don’t have enough space for that.” She said walking by him and into the train.

“Fuck.” Church muttered angrily as he walked into the train after twilight, with the rest of the company, he sat down alone away from the others, close to a window, cause he hates the commotion. The other guys noticed this and left Church alone since otherwise they might have to endure his wrath.

Rainbow noticed him and looked from her friends to Church before getting up and sitting next to him. “Hey.” She said smiling, the train then started moving again.

“Mmh...” Church mused out taking a quick glance at her.

“Soooo.... What’s up?” She asked.

“I’m tired, thats what.... Its like still, what? six or eight in the morning.” Church said yawning a bit.

“Cool cool.... So uh... Sorry about me and Roger.” Rainbow said hanging her head.

“It’s fine really, I have to stand out with that shit all day basically.” Church said with a small smile before adding. “On that note, are you calm now? I would rather not sit here just to get yelled at again.”

“Yeah I am... As long as that RED BITCH DOESN’T COME AROUND HERE!” Rainbow said as she slammed the table with her hooves.

Church just winced from the tone, before looking at Rainbow. “Calm down alright, how long is this train ride anyhow?”

“Well considering... I guess about ten to twelve hours.” Rainbow said sighing.

“Really? Mother fu-.....” Church said tiredly, before looking at Rainbow, who seemed to be more relaxed around Church. “So.... What's up with you and your.... Whatever you want to call it. You seem more relaxed around me.”

“I dunno.. You just seem to be so relaxed about everything and just let it happen most of the time.” Rainbow said shrugging.

“Thats because most of the time, some asshole is trying to kill me.” Church said looking out the window, yawning a bit.

“Oh well that sucks...” Rainbow said with a expression of sympathy.

“Eh, I can’t really complain... I mean, sure everyone tries to kill each other, but at least we have some awesome adventures in the process.” Church said shrugging.

“I guess that makes up for it!” Rainbow said laughing.

“Maybe, for all I care, Tucker can go die.” Church said.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Rainbow asked.

“Oh I don’t know.... MAYBE BECAUSE TUCKER IS A ASSHOLE!” Church yelled out.

“Fuck you too dude!” Tucker yelled back.

“See thats what I’m talking about.” Church said to Rainbow, who was surprisingly letting out a girly giggle.

“I think it’s actually kinda funny.” Rainbow said snickering.

“Eh.... Whatever works for you.” Church said looking back at her.

“Well think about it! You guys fight and beat each other up all the time! Yet your not gonna let one of yourselves die unless it’s an accident or something. It’s like a funky form of friendship!” Rainbow said smiling.

“Just to clarify.... I died once, it was horrible.” Church said, shrugging.

“Well yeah, but was it on purpose?” Rainbow asked.

“Caboose is a team killing fu-..... Actually wait.....” Church began as he put a hoof to his chin.

“What? Wait on what?” Rainbow asked.

“.... Nevermind.... Just remembered something.... And this might sound weird, but I killed myself.” Church said looking back outside.
“Soooo... Suicide?” Rainbow asked tilting her head.

“Well, if you want to get technical about it..... But its really fucking confusing and all that shit.” Church said shrugging.

“Okay?...” Rainbow began before hugging Church.

“Uh..... What did I do now?” Church asked reluctantly.

“You just looked... like... you needed... A... Hug.” Rainbow said slowly blushing as she was still hugging. “And you’re really soft.”

“Riiiiight..... And that explains it....” Church said shaking his head. “Shouldn’t you be hanging out with... Ya know.... Uh.... What’s theirs names?”

“Who? Twilight and company?” Rainbow said.

“Yeah, those.....” Church said waving a dismissive hoof.

“Weeeell, I wooouuuld.... But they aren’t soft like you are.” Rainbow said nuzzling into Church’s side. Church just groaned before leaning against the wall and looking outside the window. Seeing the trees and the terrain pass, calmed Church mind somewhat. Although Rainbow kept snuggling into his fur and mane.

“Really? Can’t you snuggle with one of your friends instead? I would really like to be alone here.” Church groaned out.

“B-but!.. They aren’t soft!” Rainbow whined out from inside Church’s mane.

“Well.....” Church began before he yawned loudly. “Oh man, it’s too early for this shit.”

“What snuggling?” Rainbow asked as she buried her face deeper into his mane. “It’s never too early for snuggling.”

Church just rolled his eyes before he got an Idea, he shrugged Rainbow off and got up. “Heeeeeey!” Rainbow whined. “Where are you goin’? I’m not done snuggling your fur.”

“To sleep.” Church said through a yawn as he walked down the car and into the next one, which happened to be a sleeper car. “Thats convenient.”

Church looked around for a few seconds before, realizing all of the rooms are empty. So he just picked a room and opened the door, entered the room and closed the door behind him, before walking over and flopping down on the bed rolling around and covering himself with the sheets. He let out a content sigh, and muttered out. “I fucking love sleep.”

After a few minutes, the door to the Church’s sleeper car opened up for a second before closing quietly. Then there was some shuffling before the covers to his bed were lifted and somepony crawled in and pressed against him and letting out a small sigh.

“Uh.... Unless you didn’t notice, but this bed and room is taken.” Church said, now somewhat awake.

“I know.” A familiar rainbow maned pegasus said.

“Wha....” Church said before thinking quickly. “Why does your voice sound so familiar?”

“I don’t know.” The pegasus said still snuggling into his fur. Church just lifted the covers to see a rainbow maned pegasus look up at him. “Sup?”

“Oh.... You again.” Church said tiredly.

“Yup.” Rainbow said snuggling into his chest.

“Can’t you see I’m trying to sleep here?” Church said as he groaned.

“Yup.” Rainbow replied. Church just groaned again. “Is it really that bad?”

Church just remained quiet for a few seconds before blinking tiredly. “That’s what I thought.” Rainbow said smiling and snuggling into his chest a bit more. Church just groaned and dropped the cover and laid down his head to rest.

“I don’t even care any more.... I’m too tired for this shit.” Church groaned out before trying to sleep.

“Yup.”

Meanwhile back at the LEGION OF DO-... I mean... The other train car.

“Sooooo... What are planing to do what again?” Tucker asked Grif.

“I am planning to stall Sarge with questions and random requests and make time by doing so.” Grif said.

“Huh.... You know, I never really thought about that before.” Tucker said, before nodding slowly. “You are really smart sometimes, but seriously you are lazy as fuck.”

“Yeah I know. I’m taking a nap.” Grif said as his face hit the table and he soon let out a snore.

“Alright.... Guess I’m gonna do the same.” Tucker said as he leaned back in his seat.

“What about me?” Donut asked.

“Converse with Wash.” Tucker said yawning.

“But he is always mean to meeeee!” Donut whined out. He looked to Wash and pouted.

“I don’t like you.” Wash said quickly. “At all.”

“See!?” Donut said still pouting. Tucker just waved a dismissive hoof, before closing his eyes. On the other side of the car, the girls were trying to convince Roger not to kill Rainbow Dash.

“I don’t see your reason why you would perform such an evil deed on Rainbow Dash.” Twilight said and quickly shielding her face afterwards in fear that Roger would hit her. Roger took a deep breath before sighing and saying.

“Well let’s count off the reasons shall we?” She said as she separated her metal hoof again into the three metallic digits. “One: She’s a bitch. Two: She tried to sleep with Rino right we got together. And finally three: She is a bitch. Those are my reasons.”

“But.... Darling, you already said..... Bitch, twice.” Rarity said cringing at the word bitch. Roger just stared at Rarity before she grabbed the table with her metallic hand/hoof and crushed the corner off.

“Not. In. The. MOOD.” Roger said as her eye twitched slightly. Rino just loudly yawned and leaned against the wall.

“Rrrrrraaaagh.” He muttered out as he was slowly falling asleep.

“Yea yea the loo is down the hall.” Roger said waving the normal hoof down the hallway.

“Mmmh..... Thank ya....” Rino muttered as he got up and walked away.

“Hhhhoooooow-” Twilight began before Roger cut her off.

“I have slept with him enough times to know what his grumbles mean when he wakes up.” Roger said leaning back in her seat and letting go of the broken part of table clutched in her metal hoof/Hand.

“You are mean! You shouldn’t be mean towards other ponies! Its bad to be a meanie.” Pinkie said, albeit very tiredly since it was also too early for her somehow.

“Well what if they are mean to me? Hmm?” Roger said crossing her hooves.

“Then... You just smile? Uh... You tell them not to be bean!” Pinkie said again, very tired.

“Don’t you mean mean?” Roger asked.

“Beeean!” Pinkie said, falling asleep.

“... Right.” Roger said. “How long has the pink one been up?”

“Weeell... ‘Bout ah week. Why?” Applejack said.

“That explains it.” Roger said nodding in confirmation.

“U-Uh.... Could you not kill Rainbow... If um thats okay by you.” Fluttershy said very quietly.

“.... Maybe.” Roger said tapping her chin. “But only because you asked nicely.”

Now was the time that Rino came stumbling back, yawning loudly. “Hmm, I’m hungry.”

“But you ate like.... Ten sandwiches at breakfast.” Roger said looking to Rino.

“Shhhhhh, nobody knows.... And I’m still hungry.” Rino said sitting down next to Roger.

“Riiiiight.... Food car is down the opposite hallway of the bathroom.”

“To far.... Oh wait, hmm... Hey gimme your money bag.” Rino said tiredly.

“I don’t have any money. I steal all the food I want.” Roger said shrugging.

“Oh right... So go steal me some food then... Woman.” Rino said sinking into his seat.

“What?” Roger asked staring at Rino.

“You are a woman, go fetch me my food.” Rino said, through a yawn. Roger just tapped him on the shoulder and slapped him when he turned to look at her.

“No. Do it yourself bitch.” Roger said going back to her seat and crossing her arms again.

“You are grumpy.” Rino muttered as he leaned back and closed his eyes.

“Oh shut up!” Roger said grumpily. “You’re stupid!”

“Now that’s mature.” Rino said without looking at Roger.

“You’re mature!” Roger retorted.

“Well at least I’m not acting like a six year old....” Rino muttered.

“You’re a six year old!” Roger said poking his side. Rino just sighed heavily, before muttering out.

“The next ten months are going to be a hell.” After that he turned to Roger. “What.”

“You’re fun to poke.” Roger said as she poked his side again.

“Dear lord......” Rino grumbled.

“What?” Roger asked as she looked up at Rino, still poking his side. “You’re like marshmallow. All squishy and stuff.”

Rino just groaned and turned away from Roger. “Uh would you stop that?”

“B-but! You are so pokeable!” Roger said hugging him from behind and beginning to poke him on the stomach. “Poke poke poke poke.”

“Ugh, but I’m trying to sleep.” Rino said tiredly, leaning into Rogers hug.

“Then sleep while I poke you.” Roger said as she poked his belly a bit more.

“Oh darn it, why don’t y’all get a room for that?” Applejack chuckled.

“Huh, that reminds me..... Isn’t there a Sleeper car?” Rino asked perking up a bit.

“I think they are all taken.” Roger said snuggling into Rino’s mane and still poking him. “Poke poke poke poke.”

“No... No! Let me go.” Rino said trying to get loose.

“Nooooo!” Roger said clutching Rino tighter and holding him down. “You’re staying here so I can snuggle you... And maybe poke you some more.”

“Oh god damn it.” Rino groaned out.

“But the snuggling makes it worth it... Right?” Roger asked as she nuzzled his mane a bit more.
Rino just let out a sigh, before saying. “Almost.... If it weren’t for the infernal poking.”

“Poke.” Roger said as she poked his belly once more. “Okay now I am done. Snuggle snuggle snuggle.”

“Mmmh...” Rino muttered out as he fell asleep.

“Why is she like this?” Applejack asked Twilight.

“Mood swings.” Rarity whispered over to Applejack.

“How do you know?” Applejack asked.

“She is pregnant.” Twilight said. “At least I am guessing. I don’t actually know. Weirdly enough.”

“Huh...” Applejack said as she looked to the Roger snuggling Rino.

As time flied when our her-.... I mean protagani-..... This story is currently missing a antagonist. Dunno why, but I’m working on it. Anyhow a hour or so later, Church was stirring.

“Oh man... Feels like I have a hangover...” Church groaned out. “I regret drinking before boarding this train.”

“Staph... I’m sleeping.” Rainbow said as she nuzzled Church’s cheek, dangerously close to his face. She is literally touching his face.

“Oh god... What have I done... Please don’t tell me I have gone and banged skittles in my drunken haze.” Church said almost panicking.

“Nah, I just snuggled you while you slept. And I slept as well.” Rainbow said. “Plus you don’t look half bad after waking up with a hangover.”

Church just looked at Rainbow with a stoic face before saying. “We aren’t a couple alright.”

“Awww...” Rainbow said looking very disheartened for a few seconds before regaining her composure. “But all I did was compliment you!”

“Riiiiight..... Get off me would you, get your own bed.”

“...No.” Rainbow said a she laid back down and resumed snuggling Church. “You’re soft.”

“So you decided to pin me down to the bed?” Church asked. “Seem logical.”

“I know.” Rainbow said happily. Then she slid up and got dangerously close to his face again. “And since I have to pinned to a bed.”

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!!!

Shut up, ruining the god damned moment.

Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.

“No, no... Nononono, I like my personal space just fine, thank you.” Church said.

“Please?” Rainbow asked with pouty eyes.

“She did say please!” Roger shouted.

“I thought you hated her!” Tucker shouted afterwards.

“It’s sex! It’s different! I’ll help you get laid, but I’ll still hate you!” Roger shouted.

“I’ll pretend I never heard that.” Church muttered looking at Rainbow.

“I did say please.” Rainbow said looking at him with a pouty face. ‘Shes killing me.’

Church just looked around for a exit, but couldn’t find one, except of course..... The front door.... Which was another story, he just let out a sigh before looking into her eyes... Her pouting, puppy dog eyes.

“Fine..... Just fine. Stop with the Pouty face though.” Church muttered

“Yay!” Rainbow said happily before she kissed him deeply and quickly. Church was a bit reluctant at first but after a few seconds he came around and did what he had to do.

[Censored]

You thought we were gonna put a clop scene in.
Well too bad. You just got cock blocked.

Author's Note

Alrighty! I finally got a freaking new chapter out, and already started on the new one. Hooray! Sorry it took so damn long to get this out, but considering I have a Ranked team, and that I've been helping a friend to level up in Leauge of Legends, I've been really busy lately. Not to mention all the freaking tests at school.

Now not only that, I've also had my depression to worry about, but its not a big worry right now, since I got my shit under control. Oh and by the way, if you don't like the whole Church x Rapebow Dash, don't worry this is just a one time thing.

Now, you know the drill; See a error, please post it below in the comment section or Pm me.

Till next time.
-The Alpha

Still have no name... Which Sucks badly. (1/2)

RvB Chapter 11(1/2); Still have no name... Which Sucks badly.

Church woke up to a rainbow mane and something laying on his chest. He barely was able to keep his head up because the way he felt, I mean after being a robot for so long, he hadn’t had sex in a really long time. So having his release after that long a time, made him feel... Its hard to describe, but here in the manly way, try not to fap for two weeks then fap. IT FEELS AMAZING.

This fiction was rated teen, so go fuck yourselves if you think this is supposed to be mature.

He laid there with a small smile, because you know sex, and thought of how it wasn’t so bad to be laying in the bed with a woma- mare on top of him. He sighed happily before he rested his head back down on the pillow. The moment was perfect. Nothing could ruin i-

“CHURCH GOT LAID!?” Tucker shouted from the other side of the wall. “That is total bullshit!”

“Well... FUUUUCK YOU TUUUUUUCKER!” Rino yelled through a laugh.

“Ditto!” Roger shouted happily. “Congrats by the way, Church!”

“Well.... Thanks?” Church shouted back.

“Yes!... Snuggle snuggle...” Roger said.

“What the fuck? Stop that!” Rino said a bit annoyed.

“Hey, if I can’t poke your belly, then I get to nuzzle and snuggle you!” Roger huffed. Rino just sighed and looked at Roger.

“Good reasoning.” He said sarcastically.

“Yes, now get back over here so I can snuggle you to death.” Roger said opening her arms. Rino just crossed his arms and pouted.

“No.” He said stubbornly.

“Pwease?” Roger said giving her best puppy dog eyes.

“No.” He said stubbornly again, looking away to spare himself from the torment. He looked back to see Roger had a few small tears in her eyes and her bottom lip was slightly quivering. Rino just.... Just sat there with a giant.... stoic face.

“Now thats just cheating on a major level.” He muttered as he scooted over to her. Roger smiled happily and hugged him before snuggling him some more.

“Yay!” She said quietly as she nuzzled into his mane. “And it’s not cheating. You’re just weak willed when it comes to my incredibly OP puppy dog eyes.”

“Taunt is OP.” Rino muttered, before giving Roger a small kiss.

“Yay!” Roger said as she snuggled into Rino a bit more.

“Whatever.” Rino said as he hugged Roger, and back at Church’s room, Rainbow was stirring a bit.

“Oh man... Yeah, that.... Was tiresome.” Church said sighing and yawning a bit.

“Such the flatter.” Rainbow said snickering.

“Oh morning.” Church said looking at Rainbow.

“What no kiss?” She asked playfully. Church just rolled his eyes. “Oh come oooooon!”

“Fine fine, come here.” Church said looking at Rainbow Dash, then giving her a kiss. She smiled widely and laid back down on his chest before giving a content sigh.

“Your awesome.” She said happily.

“And tired too... And yes, you are awesome too.” Church said as he heard a small squee from under his chin. “Did you just....”

“Maybe...” Rainbow said quickly. “It’s a possibility.”

“Right, first time I heard a girl squee, and probably the last.” Church said as he heard one more from outside.

“YOUR MANE IS SO SOFT!” Roger shouted in glee as she squee’d.

“Right.” Church said as he cringed from the tone. “You are like really close, no need to shout.”

“BUT IT’S SOOOOOOOOOO SOFT!” Roger shouted back. Church just folded back his ears and groaned.

“Damn it woman, I’m trying to sleep here... Or well kinda sleep.” Church said.

“Sorry!” Roger whispered as she peeked her head through the door then closed the door and went back to snuggle Rino some more.

“Fucking shit... This coffee! Aaah!” Washington said as he walked past the room.

“HA!” Grif laughed.

“What?! It’s not my fault this shit is hot!” Wash yelled out.

“Like the sex I am not getting behind that door!” Tucker shouted.

“Ha... Ha... Ha... You're fucking stupid.” Wash said, walking past the guys.

“Oh go blow yourself.” Tucker said.

“WOULD EVERYONE JUST KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP?!” Church yelled out really annoyed.

Then all was quiet.

“Thank god.” Church muttered quietly.

“And that is why you are awesome.” Rainbow said snuggling into his chest a bit more. “You can get things done.... On more ways than one.”

“Heh... Guess I can.” Church said as he leaned back and sunk back into his bed.

“Why are you always so glum looking?” Rainbow asked as she got herself comfortable.

“... A lot of bad things have happen to me, not very much to look up to.” Church said grimly.

“Well, I will be here to help you have good times from now on, alright?” Rainbow said as she began to fall asleep on Church’s chest. Church just sighed softly and smiled a little.

“Whatever you say Skittles.” He said before nuzzling her slightly. She let out a happy sigh and opened her wings before wrapping them around the two of them, effectively making a large blanket of warmth. Church just wrapped his arms around her and after a few minutes they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Later)

The two new lovebirds along with everyone else who were asleep was awoken by a loud sharp whistle from the front of the train.

“Next stop! Ponyville! Get your belongings ready, because we aren’t stopping so you have to jump out as we spe-... Wait we are stopping, nevermind me!.” One of the conductor’s yelled.

“Oh man... are we already there?” Rino complained as he walked past Church and Rainbow’s room.

“Apparently...” Wash said as he was munching on something. “God damn this thing is awesome.”

“Snuggle attack!” Roger yelled as she pounced onto Rino’s back and began to snuggle into his mane again. “Snuggle snuggle.”

“God damn it... Just when I thought I was homefree.” Rino complained.

“Don’t complain... At least you get some action.” Tucker said sadly.

“Snuggling doesn’t count as action.” Roger said as she laid down on Rino’s back and stopped her snuggle attack.

“Need some help?” Wash said as he munched away, on a sandwich. “God damn this thing tastes great.”

“Eh... Better not help... Shes like... Cookie monster, she will just snuggle you to death too.” Rino said. Roger reached over and took a bite of Wash’s sandwich. Just because she could.

“Nom.” Roger mumbled as she chewed her food.

“Eh..... My sandwich suddenly is missing a huge piece....” Wash said sadly.

“Tasty.” Roger said happily as she swallowed her food then she put a hoof to her chin. “Where did you get that sandwich?”

“Huh?” Wash asked as he took another bite of his sandwich. “What do you mean? There was a food car down that hallway.”

“Oh really?” Roger said. “Hmmm... Rino could we go to the foo-”

“Nope.” Rino said sternly.

“Aaawww... Nom?” Roger said as she looked to Wash.

“No.” Wash said shielding his sandwich.

“Aww... I haz a sad nao.” Roger said laying her head onto of Rino’s. Then she looked over to Wash before she lifted herself and jumped onto Wash’s back. “YAH! Snuggle attack!”

“Woah!” Wash said almost losing balance. “Oh, that was unexpected.”

“Hey asshole! If I don’t get to sleep you don’t either!” Grif yelled as he banged on Church’s room door.

“FUCK YOU!” A feminine voice said.

“When did Church become feminine?” Grif asked to the group.

“I’m Rainbow ya jerk!” Rainbow shouted. Grif just gasped, which was kinda weird since well. He don’t really do anything.

“Do we suddenly have a flamboyant female Church on our hands?” Roger asked looking down at Wash.

“I have no idea, nor do I want one.” Grif said as he quickly walked away from the door, a few minutes later Church came out yawning.

“Oh man, I’m still fucking tired.” He muttered as he walked up to the group. Rainbow walked out too and stretched her wings and hooves out like she was a winged cat. When she finished she sighed happily and nuzzled Church.

“Woah... When did that happen?” Donut asked.

“Wha-...? Huh?” Church asked as he was really tired.

“Soo... You two a couple now?” Donut asked smiling and pointing between Church and Rainbow.

“What the fuck are you talking about Donut? Shut the fuck up.” Church said tiredly.

“I’m wondering that too.” Roger said from Wash’s back. “You two going steady now or something?”

“What’s it to you bit-” Rainbow began.

“Really? You want to do this? Right here and now?” Roger said annoyed. They glared at each other for a moment before Rainbow sighed.

“No not really...” She said.

“That’s what I thought. Now come on let’s go get some food!” Roger said happily.

“No, I’m not taking you back there.” Wash said.

“Aaawww... Come oooooon Wash!” Roger said bouncing on his back a little.

“Mmmmm.... No.” Wash said firmly.

“Pweeeease?” Roger pleaded.

“Nope, you can eat later.”

“But I am hungry nooooooow!” Roger said whining a little.

“Later, my sis-... What am I saying? You can eat later Roger.” Wash said, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“Did you just call me sis?” Roger asked.

“Mmmm.... No?” He questioned.

“... I think you did.” Roger said smiling evilly.

“Why do I feel a giant evil presence on my back all of a sudden?” Wash asked shuddering a bit.

“I dunno know...” Roger said in a sing song voice.

“Uh... You are planning something aren’t you?” Wash asked, and what was unknown to them, in the back of the group Rainbow and Church were having a make out fest.

“Maybe?” Roger said again in the same tone.

“What are you planning?” Wash asked trying to look at Roger.

“Noooothing.” She said innocently.

“Well.... Alright...” Wash said as he almost bumped into Twilight. “Oh... Sorry.”

“Onward, my metal pony! To victory!” Roger shouted standing straight up and kicking Wash in the sides. “Giddy up!”

This caused Wash to run out of the train, and he almost dropped his sandwich. “Oh what the hell?!”

“To the closest food shop my steed!” Roger shouted kicking his sides a little harder and latching onto his neck.

“What the fuuuu-..!” Was the only thing that was heard from Wash as he disappeared into the village. After a short while was all of the main six and the other guys on the platform.

“Soooo... What happens now?” Tucker asked.

“Well... What is there to do around here?” Donut asked.
“Well, there is the spa... If you are interested.” Rarity said, with an unsure smile. Donut let out a massive squee before he put a hoof to his forehead and fell backwards effectively fainting. Everyone simply blinked before Grif said.

“The wild Donut has fainted!”

Church just shrugged with Rino and the girls just looked at each other awkwardly, before Church walked over to Donut and started lightly to kick him. Since he didn’t wake up he looked at Rino, and waved him over. Whilst the girls made sure that they had every thing with them.

“Rino, pick this guy up.” Church said pointing to Donut.

“No.” Rino said stubbornly.

“Do it god damn it.” Church said getting a tiny bit annoyed.

“Why can’t you do it?” Rino asked Church.

“Because I’m not made out of four hundred pounds of muscle, now pick him up.” Church said.

“But I don’t want to catch his gaaay!” Rino whined.

“That’s not is not how it works you...... Fuck.” Church said narrowing his eyes. “Just pick him up alright?”

“Fine...” Rino said before picking up Donut and flinging him over his back. He then walk over to the girls which had all of their suitcases and other supplies they needed while they were in Canterlot visiting their foreign guests.

“You girls done?” Church asked, through a yawn.

“Yup, but we don’t know what happened to Wash or Roger.” Applejack said.

“Didn’t they run off somewhere?” Tucker asked.

“Oh dear god help me!” Wash yelled out from somewhere in town.

“Well that’s different.” Twilight said before adding. “Lets get going, I’m getting homesick.” She said starting to trot towards the library.

I’m just gonna.... Cut it right here....

Author's Note

I'm really sorry for cutting the chapter short, its only 2K words... But I'm having a small writers block and I can't seem to get rid off it. I'm probably going to have trouble thinking up the next chapter, so don't expect any new chapters and also, I hate school, but I like my pillow, it makes me more comfy when I do stuff. (Does not include fappin', because I don't want Jizz on Mr.Pillow.)

So yeah, I'm really sorry to cut things short and I hope you all have a good day.
And you know the drill, if you find a error, just post it below and or punch me in the face. (which ever works for you.)
And I shall fix it!

Till next time.
-The Alpha.

Reports

Prolouge : Reports.... Suck

Message from command to Red base: Heyo! Vic here! I am just calling to tell you that you are going to be receiving a new soldier to your squad. He is not a newbie so don’t worry about training him. He is a Chief Tactician, so whatever he says involving a plan, do it. He is from a special task force and is very good at what he does....Oh one last thing. Keep him away from anything explosive. I am also including a brief summary of what he is like!

(Description of new unit)

New Red guy is named:Roger.

Roger is a tactician that prefers to use elaborate ways to defeat his/her enemies and win through trickery. He/she was sent to red base in Blood gulch Outpost Alpha to help aid the Reds defeat the Blues. He/she is a very qualified scout so don’t forget that when he/she is making a plan. (P.S. He/she has a small affinity for fire and explosives.) (P.P.S. He/she is also slightly insane)

Catch phrase: Boosh.
Combat song: This is war by 30 seconds to mars.

(Gender = ~~Female~~ Male)
(Rank= Chief Tactician)
(Armor color= Fire red.)
(Prefered weapons= Grenades, Brute Plasma rifle, Dual Silenced SMGs)
(Armor= Recon)
(Can operate weapons: Assualt rifle, Magnum, DMR, Rocket launcher.)
(Speciality: Sneaking, Knife CQB, SMGs and Adaptive Camoflauge)

Personality: Likes blow things up and is rather reclusive. Won’t talk much unless it pertains to explosives or tactics. Doesn’t like Simmons because he/she hates kiss-asses. Will do simple reconnaissance just to pass the time. Loves to pull pranks on others with his/her ability to sneak around. Will go on rants occasionally about what his/her previous mission were and what he/she did in detail. Has random bursts of insanity.

(2 weeks later)

Summary of transfer from new Red unit:
“Hello this thing on?...Alright first question.”
….
“What do I think of my team?...I hate most of them. Sarge acts like he is always full of good ideas even though they are usually horrible. Simmons is a complete kiss ass and I quite honestly want to hurt him, but the little bitch would just run to the Sargent and complain. Grif and Donut are the only two of the group I can stand. Grif is just a lazy smart ass, but I can deal with him. Donut is just a big ball of energy that is relatively fun to be around. Although I can’t really talk to him or Grif with out getting a smart ass remark they are still better than those other two.”
….
“The area I am in? Well that is Something entirely different. There are so many vantage points that it’s crazy. This is a tactician’s dream! You can’t go five feet without seeing at least five different vantage points. It’s crazy!! Now if I could only get those assholes to actually listen to me.”
….
“What did I do before I came here....That is a big question. I commanded a strike team to take over bases, stop convoys, and intel. I have killed more covenant than you have probably seen.”
….
“The other team?.....They are all jack asses. Not just the blues. The reds too. They all are just idiots. I saw this dark blue guy run right up to a tank and start talking to it!! Like it was a fucking woman! Seriously...How long have these guys been here!?...I did see one guy that was remotely intimidating. He was covered in burn marks and scratches. Doesn’t matter though...I got my knife and grenades. I don’t need bullets to kill someone.”
….
“What do I do when I’m not taking orders?...BLOW STUFF UP. I have enough grenades to light up this gulch better than the 4th of july!! Or just sneak around and fuck with the others.”
….
“How am I adapting? That’s easy to answer. NOT. WELL. There is nothing here to do other than kick dust. I mean yeah we have a car, but I am restricted from it. So I spened my time blowing stuff up. Other than that I am still trying to get used to everyone. Oh and the beds here...SUCK. They are awful. I am just glad the inside of my armor is padded, so I just go out and sleep in a tree. I know I know ‘it’s dangerous!’, but I can cloak when I am completely still. So I won’t be spotted.”
….
“Any encounters with the blues? Ho yeah....We somehow ended up in a battle and it was a massacre on both sides. Remember that tough guy I told you about earlier? he knocked every one of my teammates right the fuck out. Luckily I fucked up the blues myself. These guys aren’t very combat trained....Anyway how it ended was I picked up this one blue’s sniper and turned around to pick off the last blue, but he apparently had the same idea. So we ended up in a draw with my rifle against his stomach and his shotgun against my head....it ended up with neither of us wanting to die so we did the next best thing. We backed away slowly. Tossed each other’s guns over. Gave the good game nod. And carefully walked away......Pretty good day if I do say so!”
….
End of the report.

Message from Command to Outpost 1-A : Blood gulch ; Hey! Blue guys! It’s Vic-o here, just dropping by to say in your newest supply shipment you are going to get a new guy! Oh and don’t worry about training him, he’s a Assault specialist... y’know those Aggressively Calm guys who storm the front lines? Good! Then I will skip the lecture that would take a hour or so just to explain how he works! Also I’m sending over a description of the new guy. Enjoy!

(Description of new guy)

New Blue guy is named:Rino...

Rino is more of a guy who deals with problems head on instead of skirting around them. He’s a so called Assault specialist, and a good tactical aid when it came down to it. He was sent to Outpost A-1: Blood gulch to aid in the defeat of Reds.. He’s also very calm and playful when you get to know him. Don’t get on his bad side though, he’s very aggressive in the field. (P.S This guy have a weird weapon with him, I suggest that you don’t touch it. He seems over protective of it.)
(P.P.S I’m pretty sure what this guy do for stress relief is to storm enemy forts or bases just so you know.)

Catch phrase: No pain, No gain.
Most listened song in combat: Self vs Self (feat. In Flames) - Pendulum.

(Gender = Male)
(Rank = Assault specialist)
(Armor color = Deep sea blue)
(Prefered weapon = Needler Rifle. Knife, Fists or Magnum.)
(Armor = O.D.S.T[Spartan version][Battle scared])
(Can operate weapons = Sniper rifle, Assault rifle, DMR, Shotgun. Flame thrower.)
(Speciality: Assault missions, Unarmed and CQB combat, Running.)

Personality: Have a knack for dealing with problems dead on. He rather charge in to a firefight than walk around it to reach his objective. He stops for nothing. And hes easy to bore, He loves to clean his Needler rifle which he took from a dead Elite that he killed. He has been in a lot of firefights and knows how to handle himself in one. He does not like Church, because he bosses him around. And he clearly does not have any experience commanding anything.
He likes to look around and chill when he gets the chance, he also likes to be annoying when he gets the chance, like to make smart ass remarks ever so often or something like that. He does not like to get shot at even though he have a lot of marks on his Armor to show that hes really been out there in the field. He’s also very hostile looking, but he is very friendly... But not to new people he meets.

(2 weeks later)

Summary of transfer from new blue guy:
"Alright.... Here goes.... Hope this thing is on."

“Well.... I hate it, why would you send me here? We are in a boxed-in-canyon, I mean why do we even have a base here? Its probably because they have a base over there. So if we were to pull out today, and they took over this base they would have two bases. In a boxed-in-canyon... Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Oh and my thought about my teammates?
Well let me make it simple and clear...”
….
“Private Church or the self proclaimed leader around here, is a major jackass. He have no idea what he is doing and tries to make me do things. For Christ sake at least the guy could train a bit with the sniper he always is caring around, I mean he can barely hit a stationary target. I’ve noticed that he can hit things, but its either out of pure luck or hes in danger. “
….
“Private Tucker, always cracking sex jokes, always talking about Chicks and booze and how he could pick up girls in the Red's car. And how he could score five hundred chicks with it. Makes me think hes all talk and no action. He wouldn't be that bad if he stopped talking about sex. He might be more tolerable if he just stopped being such a idiot and actually could fight worth crap.”
….
Private Caboose, I honestly don’t what you dumbasses in command were thinking when you recruited Caboose, I mean we had standards back in the day... Okay I’m not that old but still, this guy is almost like a retard. He talks to our tank for fuck’s sake! And that is almost everything he does, he seems to avoid me because of my appearance. That’s good because I’ve seen him stalk Church and Tucker almost everywhere they went unless they put him to work. Oh and I must add, that this guy is Inhumanely strong.... It must be God’s way of compensating...”
…
“The area I’m in? I already told you that.”
…
“What was I doing before I got transferred here?
Something less useless than walking around the base a hundred laps before leaning against the wall. I want to kill something now.”
…
“The other team?
Bunch of idiots of you ask me, I saw that there was a Maroon one that was kissing the ass of the commanding officer, I hate those types. Then we have the orange one. Always slacking off, taking naps away from the base... He’s leaving himself wide open to sneak attacks. We also have their Sarge, he's really something else. In fact he seems hell bent on killing the orange one... I have no idea why... But it’s less work for me..... Then have that weird pink guy, I think he’s gay or something.... I have no comments about that except that he seems to be a little more sensitive than the other guys.
….
But there is one fiery looking guy in Recon armor, He seems like he could put up a half decent fight... Before dying horribly by my hands, He seems like a rookie... His armor is shining in the sun. He can’t have much experience in the field but I should not judge a book by its cover.”
…
“What do I when I’m not taking orders? I train, I fix weaponry, I eat, I listen to music, I harass Church. I have this weird feeling that something bad is going to happen. I also ever so often scout the enemy base. And such. I also take care of my needler rifle.”
…
“How am I adapting? Well, this place sucks. Nothing to shoot at, or do for that matter. I have no idea what the others do for fun around here, and I sure as hell ain’t finding out either. Other than that, I’m pretty sure this place is like a normal base... Except that every one fights for the food, the beds feels like rocks and Everyone keeps trying to Inspect my armor when I’m sleeping, that’s just plain creepy if you ask me.”
….
“Any encounter with the Reds?
Yeah... Once. In the field, Caboose had led us on some weird chase and ended up attracting the reds. So the first thing I did was to knock out every one except this fiery guy who had the exact same idea. I saw him knock out Tucker so when I knocked out their Sarge, I quickly picked up his shotgun spun around just to find him doing the exact same, but with Church’s sniper. So there we were standing both with shit deadly weapons pointed at each other at point blank range. So what do we do? We call it a draw, by backing up slowly. Tossing the weapons we stole back to each other and giving a Well played/Good game nod to each other before walking way.... Didn’t think the Fiery guy could actually fight, that day was actually interesting.”
…
End of the report.

Trying to think of chapter names.... Sucks

Chapter 4: Trying to think of chapter names.... Sucks

As the Spartans, both Humans and Ponies, slept in their warm beds, a certain midnight blue Alicorn was investigating the sudden littering around the lake. Once she finished cleaning up the mess and dumping it into a nearby ‘trash can’ and then left off to go report her finding to her older sister.

Meanwhile there were a few Spartans about to wake up from a sudden knocking from a certain angry purple unicorn.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Several hours prior to event)

Twilight had just gotten up and was currently getting ready for the day much like the rest of her friends. She was too busy thinking about what was going on with the new visitors to notice that Rainbow had been calling her name for the past 20 minutes.

“Twilight.... Twilight.... Twilight.... TWILIGHT!!” Rainbow finally screamed. Snapping the purple unicorn out of her trance like state and glared at Rainbow dash.

“What was that for?” Twilight asked. Rainbow just face hoofed.

“You were standing there brushing your mane for like ten minutes. I kept saying your name, but I got no response. So I did the next best thing.” Rainbow said smirking. “What were you thinking about anyway?”

“I was thinking about our new visitors and their story... Something just doesn’t add up you know?” She asked Rainbow. When she looked to the mare with the spectrum mane, all she saw was a Pegasus lost in her own fantasy with a dreamy look in her eyes.

“Rainbow? Yoo hoo?” Twilight said as she waved a hoof in front of Rainbows face. Soon after she attempted to wake the daydreaming Pegasus, Applejack walked in and chuckled.

“That ain’t gonna do you no gud Twi.” Apple jack said walking up to her. “Ya see... The fastest Pegasus alive has a crush on a certain pony.”

This was enough to snap Rainbow out of her day dreaming. “I DO NOT!” Rainbow yelled while blushing like crazy. “I don’t got a crush on anypony.” She said after calming herself down a bit.

“Your right..... He ain’t even a pony.” Applejack said smirking. Twilight turned to Rainbow.

“You have a crush on one of the humans?!” Twilight almost shrieked. She quickly remembered that they were in the room next to Rino and Tucker before she hushed up a bit, but not before more of her friends came in.

“What is going on here? I had the most fabulous dream, before I was rudely awakened by somepony screaming.” Rarity said as she entered the room. She had a cosmetic makeup mask on right now and looked rather grumpy.

“Can you please keep it down?... I-If you want that is.” Fluttershy said also stepping into the room.

“Whats going on here anyways?” Pinkie said as she somehow came out from under the bed, how she got there still remains a mystery. “I was just dreaming of throwing the worlds greatest party with the greatest pony in the world there is! His name was Michael. J. Caboose!”

“What?” Everypony in the room asked.

“You know! That crazy Blue guy?” Pinkie said. “The one Roger was telling us all about?”

“Who?” Everypony asked again.

“Oh never mind.” Pinkie said before sliding under the bed and popping out next to Twilight. “So what was all the shrieking about?”

“I vaguely recall something about a crush... Oh please do tell!” Rarity said as she giggled like a school girl.

“Yeah! This sound interesting!” Pinkie said hopping out from behind Rarity.

“I’d like to know as well.... I-if that’s alright.” Fluttershy said shrinking back a bit.

“AUTHOR STOP TAKING CONTROL OF US!” Pinkie randomly yelled at the ceiling, but everypony just ignored her random outburst. “Darn author and his ability to change the conversation.” Pinkie just muttered quietly.

“Well, who is it darling? Who is the lucky stallion?” Rarity asked.

“Who has the crush anyways?” Pinkie asked as she somehow was hanging off the chandelier.

“Y-yeah... W-who have the crush anyway?” Fluttershy said somewhat hiding behind her hair.

“That would be Rainbow right ‘ere.” Applejack said giggling.

“I told you! I don’t have a crush on Ri-” Rainbow put a hoof over her mouth before she could continue.

“Ri? I don’t know anypony by that name....” Pinkie said scratching her head. “Maybe she meant Rin-”

Rainbow tackled Pinkie before she could say anymore. “I told you I don’t have a crush!”

“D-Don’t you mean Rin-” Futtershy tried to say.

“Don’t say it!” Rainbow yelled, scaring the poor Pegasus and making her shrink back until she was on the ground covering her eyes with her hooves.

“S-s-sorry...” Fluttershy whimpered out before receding a bit more into her mane.

“Oh for Luna’s sake, she has a crush on Rino!” Applejack finally said. Everyone went dead silent and stared at the rainbow maned pony still pinning Pinkie to the floor.

“Really?” Rarity said with a smug smile.

“M-maybe.” Rainbow said blushing and getting off Pinkie.

“That is really strange Rainbow.” Twilight said rubbing the side of her head. “They have only been here for nearly a day and you already developed a crush on one of them.”

“That reminds me! I have not thrown them a party yet!” Pinkie said gasping. “In fact! I’ve been more quiet than usual! I should talk more!” Pinkie quickly added... You know what, I’m not going to let her talk.

“You sure about that author?” Pinkie said looking up in the ceiling. Yes... I’m very sure.

Again everypony just ignored the weird things Pinkie Pie did.

“W-well... I-it’s not that bad.” Fluttershy said. “Th-they do seem friendly enough.”

“Has anyone seemed to notice how the doors keep breaking down?” Pinkie said.

All my attempts to not let her talk just got shattered...

“Not really.” Rainbow said.

“They seem to repair them selves...” Rarity said holding a hoof up to her chin.

“Yes the princess put those enchantments up after the changeling invasion. Makes it easier on the staff.” Twilight said.
“That makes sense...” Pinkie said as she poked a door to see if it was alive, when no one was looking the door moved. Pinkie of course just stood there tilting her head for a few second before turning back to the conversation.

“Yes, it does. Now back to the point in hand. Rainbow Dash why do you have a crush on Rino?” Twilight said turning to Rainbow.

“I-I don’t know.... He is really strong. And quiet.” Rainbow said. “And he is pretty awesome. I mean he is a soldier! How awesome is that?!”

“Not to mention he looks a little cute too.” Rarity added.

“I think he would make a great party animal!” Pinkie also added.

“Plus, did you see the artificial eye? That must have taken some intelligence and skill to implement it.” Twilight said tapping her chin with a hoof.

“He looks pretty darn sturdy too.” Applejack said.

“A-and he seems pretty gentle for such a big... Um human.”

Little did all of them know, that in fact. Rino was not that intelligent, gentle, nor party animal-ish. He was just your normal front-line soldier, who has stabbed more aliens than I bother to count. All he liked was to have some peace and quiet, but he never seems to get it and he also wants to shoot something. ‘Cause you know why not and it helps with the rage. Oh and his greeting to new aliens usually end with a knife to the throat.

Before the group of ponies could continue their little gossip fest a sudden knock on their door brought all their attention away from the conversation.

“Who would be calling at this hour?” Twilight said as she walked over to the door and opened it. As the door slowly opened up, she saw two royal night guards staring at her with their reptilian eyes.

“Message for Twilight Sparkle.” One said before handing her a scroll before both walked down the hall and out of sight. .

“That was.... Weird.” Twilight said walking back and looking at the scroll. She opened it up and read the scroll to herself before smiling. “Well girls it seems we are going to have to go help out one of the Princesses again.”

“What do you mean one? The message is from Princess Celestia isn’t it?” Rainbow said pointing to wax seal of a sun.

“Yes, but she wants us to go fill Princess Luna in on what is going on. It seems she missed everything and Princess Celestia doesn’t want her harming our guest when she meets them.” Twilight explained.

“Sounds nice... But it’s like just past midnight! And I need my beauty sleep!” Rarity whined.

“Well this is the only time Princess Luna is awake. She is the goddess of the night you know.” Twilight said going over to her bed to retrieve her notes from earlier. “Everyone get a cup of coffee. We might be a while.”

“Don’t give a cup of coffee to Pinkie... She’s hyper as it is.” Applejack said.

“Yeah... Why don’t we just eat some of her cupcakes? Those usually are enough to make a dragon hyper.” Rainbow said.

“They are?” Pinkie asked.

“With how much sugar and sweetness you pack into one, yeah... Seems like one could.” Rainbow said with a nod.

“Huh.... But I like sugar.” Pinkie said to herself as she bounced to her room and grabbed a plate that held six cupcakes. She placed it on her back and bounced back, before handing everypony one. “Well, dig in!”

Everypony began to munch down on their cupcakes while leaving to go grab what they need. After about 20 minutes of grabbing some supplies and another 30 waiting for Rarity to be done styling her mane, they were finally able to get going. Unfortunately, rainbow was right about the cupcakes and everyone was a little jittery from the sudden rush of energy.

“Okay... The princess should be in the throne room waiting for us.” Twilight said as she lead the group down the halls.

“Okie dokie lokie.” Pinkie said as she happily bounced down the hallway.

“Hey I have a question. Did anyone notice what that one red human did when she got startled?” Rainbow said flying above everyone.

“You mean that Roger gal right?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah! she pulled something off her leg and then it small this weird tick noise.” Rainbow said.

“Huh, I never noticed that...” Rarity said, Pinkie just nodded in agreement.

“Weird.... She never mentioned any type of equipment they had brought with them either.” Twilight said.

“Anypony notice that purple stick looking thingamajig that Rino walks around with?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah! Remember he was all protective of it when we first saw him!” Rainbow added on.

“There must be something special about it don’t it?” Rarity said.

“H-he did try to attack Donut because of it.” Fluttershy said finally speaking up.

“That settles it! We need to ask them after this!” Applejack said.

“Right!” Everypony said. Twilight’s ears twitched slightly.

“Did someone hear a explosion?” Twilight said looking to a window.

“What? No... I didn’t hear anything.” Rainbow said.

“N-neitehr did I.” Fluttershy responded.

“Heh heh... Guess it’s just me then.” Twilight said as they got to the throne room. “Alright everypony. Here we are!”

“Yay!” Pinkie said before freezing in the air.

“Pinkie get down. We are meeting the princess for Celestia’s sake!” Twilight said completely ignoring the fact that she broke physics.

“Aww.....” Pinkie said a bit sad before landing.

“You can break the laws of physics later.” Twilight said before opening the doors. She walked in to the large room and bowed as they reached the throne. Luna was sitting happily on the throne while smiling at the small group of friend. “We are here like you requested Princess Luna.”

“Hello dear Twilight Sparkle! We are glad to have thou here with us today!” Luna said before she pulled out a scroll and opened it. “This document says thou met up with a new species called.... hymen?”

“Um.. Well no princess. They are called Humans.” Twilight said smiling.

“Hoo muns?” Luna responded

“Humans.” Twilight corrected again.

“Hyrule?” Luna responded.

“Humans!” Twilight said a bit aggravated. Everypony else was snickering at the fact that Luna was just messing with poor Twilight.

“Hukins?” Luna said acting confused.

“Humans!!” Twilight said again getting annoyed beyond belief.

“Bread?” Luna said smiling a little bit

“HUMANS!!” Twilight finally yelled out panting a bit before Luna burst into laughter as well as the rest of her friends. She looked around before chuckling herself.

“We are sorry Twilight. We could not pass it up.” Luna said snickering. “But thou must admit. We had thee going.”

Twilight nodded before Luna burst into laughter again, but this time she accidentally fell off her throne. She just laughed at that too and caused the other to burst into laughter as well. When Luna finally calmed down she walked back up to her throne and sat again.

“Alright. We are calm.... We are ready now to hear about the humans.” Luna said before giving one last chuckle.

“Okay princess. We have quite a few notes-” Twilight began

“A FEW!?” Rainbow said. Twilight blushed and nervously chuckled.

“Okay... A lot, but anyway.” Twilight said as she began to review everything that she had taken on the humans. This took about a hour and a half before they had finally finished. Unfortunately, her rather long review was just boring enough that everyone else, except Luna and Twilight, had fallen asleep. Even pinkie passed out. “..... And that is all we found out.” Twilight summed up.

Luna had gotten a mug of coffee with the words ‘The moon rules, Celestia drools.’ on it and was currently wearing a set of sunglasses. “We see.”

“Although they did come in with a set of equipment we know nothing of. They didn’t explain what they were.” Twilight said going over her notes again. Luna just looked to Twilight before dropping her mug and standing up.

“MOTHER OF ME.” She said dramatically while taking off her sunglasses. “What have they brought into out world.”

“Um... Princess?” Twilight said a little confused. Luna just smiled and sat back down.

“We should probably ask them about their equipment then.” She said while using her magic to clean up the mess she made with her mug. Using a bit more magic she put the mug back together and put the coffee back in before sipping it again. “Huh... .Coffee taste better when it’s been magically reconstructed.” Luna said looking at her drink.

“That is.... Nevermind.” Twilgiht said rubbing her head. “Well that is all we have on the humans.”

“We see. Well we shall have to visit these strange creatures. Plus we still have to figure out what caused the fish to explode out of the lake.” Luna said looking out a window.

Twilight tilted her head for a second before bouncing in place. “I KNEW IT! I knew I heard something earlier!” She said happily.

“Well yes. We also heard something opening our gates...... Plus we had to clean up all the fish.” Luna said shuddering. Then she smirked and snickering “We did put it away in the right place.”

Meanwhile in the guestroom.
Tucker then turned in his sleep and muttered in to his pillow “Bow chicka bow wow.”

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Meanwhile in Blueblood’s chamber)

“Ugh.... Now I can finally get some sleep.” Blueblood said throwing his tie and suit-top off into the darkness. He walked over to his bed before throwing the covers off and hopping into his ‘prince sized’ bed. As he finally laid his head down, he heard something squish.

“What the...”

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Back in the throne room)

A few seconds after Luna spoke, a very feint, but present, scream was heard. “Yes.... It was put away.” Luna said with a rather disturbing smirk.

“Luna what.... Nevermind... I actually don’t want to know.” Twilight said rubbing her head. A sudden knocking at the throne room brought both Luna’s and Twilight’s attention to the doors. A guard stepped into the room and walked over the ponies sleeping in the middle of the room.

“Your highness. You have a pony requesting your audience.” The night guard said.

“Alright. Send him or she in.” Luna said righting her posture and using her magic to move the sleeping ponies to the side. After she righted everything, so she looked more ‘Royal’, the pony ran in looking rather distressed. He passed Twilight.

“Princess!” The pony yelled. “Somepony robbed me!”

“Did they now? Pray tell where do you work?” Luna said gently

“ At Twenty-four seven! They stole all these items.” The pony said as he pulled out a scroll that had a list on it with all the stolen items.

“Ah... Well what is this scroll you have taken out?” Luna said leaning a bit.

“All the items.” The pony repeated himself.

“Ah yes. Let us see.” Luna said levitating the scroll over to her. She unrolled the scroll nad began to browse it until one thing caught her eye. “They stole a PlayColt?”

“Uh... Yes, I had to search all the shelves and one copy was missing...” The pony said embarrassed. Another thing Luna noticed was that they had stolen extremely large amounts of booze.

“They stole.... ALL the liquor you sold?” Luna said a little flabbergasted.

“Uh.... Yes.... Somehow they did manage that...” The pony said looking down and poking the marble floor with a hoof.

“Pray tell.... Did you see anything? Like whom had done it?” Luna said looking over the scroll again.

“No.... The door just opened up and some things became blurry. Then it disappeared.”

“Very interesting. What did the shape look like?” Luna said lowering the scroll.

“Uh... Big Diamond dogs..... Except that one was slimmer than the other...” The pony said thinking back a bit. Twilight’s ears twitched slightly and she shook her head. ‘No... No it couldn’t be the humans.... Could it?’ Twilight thought.

“They also appeared to have stolen.... A toy.” Luna said deadpanning.
“Yes.... It makes little sense.... But a toy was actually missing.” The pony said looking a little confused.

“Well it appears we have either a unicorn and a few diamond dogs working together to steal.... Or you have some GHOOOOOOSTS.” Luna said dramatically.

“No, but seriously... You might have Ghosts, Diamond dogs and unicorns.... or The changelings are back.” Luna said shrugging. “We will dispatch a few guards to take positions around your store. Will that help?”

“Uh... Sure, I think so. Thank you Princess!” The pony said lighting up a little.

“Of course my little pony. If I may, go to a night club and forget your worries. Everypony deserves a rest.” Luna said happily.

“Okay, will do! Goodnight to you.” The pony said before bowing and trotting out.

Luna relaxed and sighed before using a hoof to rub her neck. “We hate having to sit like that for so long. It ‘tis a good thing not very many ponies visit night court. I can at least get some exercise. Our flank would get as larger as your sister’s if we sat here all night.” Luna mumbled.

“Princess..... I think I might know who stole all that from the store.” Twilight said standing up.

“Oh? Who?” Luna said getting off her throne and stretching a bit.

“I think it might have been the humans! They have equipment they hadn’t told us about, so they might have been able to do exactly what that pony explained!” Twilight said jumping in place for a moment. “I say we go have a word with them!”

Luna just sighed and nodded. “Okay... We shall go with thou. It’s not like anything is happening anyway.”

Twilight nodded and went to her friends before she woke them all up. “Okay everyone. Wake up. We need to go visit the humans.”

Rainbow Dash shot up from the pile and grinned somewhat disturbingly. “Well what are we waiting for!? Let’s go!!”

She sped off down the hall while Luna walked up to them. “We art assuming that she has a crush on one of the humans?”

“You can see it too?” Twilight said and Luna nodded.

~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~

(Guest rooms: Rino’s room.)

(few minutes prior to event)

Rino had just finished cleaning “The Impaler.” and was both grumpy and tired, not only because he had found out that Roger took all the booze, she also took all the other stuff. Like the snacks, the comics... The new cleaning rag...

“Fucking crap...” Rino muttered to himself quietly before standing up and walking over to his bed with “The Impaler” carried carefully towards the bed. He gently put it down and leaned it against the wall. He then stood up and looked over his shoulder, there he saw Tucker sprawled out on his own bed on the far side of the room. Rino flipped Tucker off before removing his shirt, and laying down on his bed and closing his eyes. A few minutes passed before he heard some knocking.

At first he just ignored it. But after a few more knocks it became more furious eventually Tucker stirred and said “Go the fuck away, I’m trying to sleep here.” Rino let quietly chuckle before trying himself to sleep. That’s when someone from the other side yelled.

“OPEN UP THEE SCOUNDREL!! THOU MUST PAY FOR THEE CRIMES.” Luna bellowed from the other side of the door.

“Holy shit lady! I said I’m trying to sleep here can’t you fucking hear?!” Tucker yelled back before sticking his head under his pillow.

“WHO THE FUCK IS YELLING AT THIS HOUR!?” Roger yelled from her room.

“HOW THE FUCK SHOULD WE KNOW?!” Rino yelled back. Before trying to sleep again.

“THEN FIND THE FUCK OUT OR I’M GONNA BLOW THIS FUCKING ROOM UP!!” Roger bellowed.

“DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK?!” Tucker yelled before trying to sleep again.

“TUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD I LET YOU LIVE ONCE, I WON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN!!” Roger yelled back.

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT GO BACK TO SLEEP ROGER!” Rino yelled as he rolled around on his bed.

“OH FUCK YOU TOO...” Roger said before a thump was heard.

“What the fuck? Did you hear that?” Rino asked Tucker.

“Uh yeah. I’m not deaf you dumbass.” Tucker said before, for the fifth time, trying to sleep. Then a door opening was heard.

“Who the fuck is yelling!?” Roger yelled.

“You are bitch!” Tucker retorted. Some movement was heard until Rino’s room door was flung open.

“Okay you little fuck come here.” Roger said walking over to Tucker.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE ROGER! GO THE FUCK BACK TO SLEEP ALREADY!” Rino yelled angrily.

“After Tucker’s dead.” Roger said grabbing Tucker’s collar.

“God damn it.” Rino said as sat up, groggily grabbed “The Impaler” and aimed at Roger “Alright unless you want a fucking spike through your shoulder put down Tucker, go back to your room, calm down and sleep.” Rino said calmly

Roger looked at Tucker then to Rino, conetmpleting whether it was worth it or not. “Fine.....” Roger said. “But he is sleeping on the floor.”

She dropped him onto the ground and walked back to her room. “Hello ponies. Hello taller pony.” Roger said as she walked into her room and closed it’s door.

Rino got up and walked to his door before looking at all of the ponies and he was still holding “The Impaler.” He gave them a nod before closing the door and locking it, he then went back to his bed gently set his weapon down and got back into the bed.

“Not the most likeable bunch are they?” Luna said before unlocking Rino’s door and opening it. “Rise, Rino... Or Roger. What ever thee’s name is. Thou are being charged with robbery and destruction of royal property.”

Rino not actually giving much of a fuck waved a dismissive hand in the air before trying to sleep again.

“Creature, If thou doesn’t rise we thee shall endure our wrath.” Luna said.

“Look lady, I don’t really give a crap about what Rino have done right now. But holy hell the clock is like three in the morning. Go away already!” Tucker said before covering himself with some sheets that he had pulled down from his bed.

“Thou asked for it...” Luna said while gaining a evil grin. She walked over to the bathroom before the faucet was turned on for a few seconds. It turned off before Tucker had a basket ball sized orb of ice cold water dropped on him.

“What the...” Tucker said as he looked up and saw that water was hovering above his head. “...Fuck?” his eyes shot open. The water fell and soaked the poor, weak limbed pony.

“HOLY FUCK THAT’S COLD!” Tucker some how yelled quietly. “Why are you doing this?!”

“We did say though would endure our wrath did we not?” Luna said.

“That was Rino you stupid bitch. Not me.” Tucker said annoyed. Luna’s smile dropped and she picked Tucker up with magic before bringing him to her face.

“Odd... Thou has guts.... Yet reeks of cowardliness.” Luna said looking over Tucker.

“Put me down! I’m fucking tired! I want to sleep!” Tucker said waving his hoofs in the air like he don’t care.

“We will put thee down.... But I think your red friend still has some unfinished business she needs done.” Luna said walking over to Roger’s room and slowly opening it’s door up. .

“She is not my friend!” Tucker said whilst pointing a hoof at Luna.

“Yes yes, but have fun!” Luna said before throwing Tucker onto Roger’s bed and closing the door.

“Who the fuck threw a pi-..... Tucker?” Roger said from the other side of the door. Then a rather odd pony shaped indent was formed in the wall. “YOU LITTLE CREEP!!”

“Oh yay.” Rino said tired before standing up. “Who threw tucker?”

“That was us. We are sorry, but he would not shut up. And he was insulting.” Luna said calmly before smiling. “I assume you are.... Rino? Correct?”

“No that’s the other blue guy.” Rino said sarcastically.

“Right. Well if thou would mind getting up, we just want to ask thou a few questions and then thou may go back to sleep.” Luna said.

“Jesus fuck, fine, I’ll do it.”

“Thank thee. First question: Where were you this evening?” Luna said while sitting down.

“Here. In this room, drinking with Tucker and playing chess.” Rino answered with a stonic face.

“Alright. Question two: Have you left the guestroom at all?” Luna said while pulling a mug of coffee out of seemingly nowhere.

“Yes, to get beer.” Rino said looking tierd.

“Okay and where did you get the beer?” Luna said sipping on her coffee.

“The fridge.” Rino deadpanned.

“Okay. Now may I ask a few things about your... Companions?” Luna asked.

Rino sighed. “Fine, just make it quick.”

“We will go at our own pace thank you very much. Now what about your friend Roger? Do you know what she was doing?” Luna took another drink from her mug.

“No fucking idea, I don’t want anything to do with the reds.”

“Okay then. What can you tell us about this equipment you all seem to have brought with you?” Luna asked walking over and siting on the couch.

“Nothing.” Rino said tiredly. “You done yet?” he said in a yawn.

“Not until you tell us what you brought with you. Such as that strange purple stick with the pink spike in it.” Luna said pointing to his gun.

“Alien artifact.” Rino said more tierd.

“And what does it do?” Luna asked.

“Looks badass.” Rino said looking at Luna.

“Thou is not cooperating.” Luna stated sounding tired as well. “If thee just tells us we won’t have to take it away.”

“You are not touching my fucking g- Alien artifact.” Rino said

“BOW CHICKA B- OW FUCK!” Tucker yelled from the other room.

“SHUT UP YOU LITTLE FUCK!” Roger yelled.

“Are they always like this?” Luna asked looking to Rino.

“Not that I know of... Except Tucker.” Rino said.

“Ah, the annoying disrespectful one.” Luna said rubbing the side of her head. “Alright we are just going to ask one more thing then we are out of thee’s mane.”

“Just get on with it.” Rino said annoyed

“Did thee rob a store and blow up our lake?” Luna said taking one last sip form her mug.

Rino yawned and laid down on the bed. “No.... But what if I did?”

“Then thou would have to simply just work off the bits thee would owe and thee would be on thine’s way.” Luna stated happily.

“Yeah, Didn’t do it. Bet one of the reds did it.” Rino said as he closed his eyes.

“Alright then... Oh and thou left thine’s PlayColt on the bed.” Luna said smirking and walking out of the room.

“That’s Tucker’s just leave it there. You probably don’t want to touch it.” Rino said as he yawned and rolled over on to his stomach.

“That.... Is rather disturbing.” Luna said closing the door and locking it from the outside. “Yes, don’t let him out. He most certainly has done the deed.”

“Alright.... Time to sleep....” Rino said as he rolled onto his back. “Wait... Fuck Tucker.... I’ve got to get him.” ‘Ah fuck it.’ Rino thought as he soon fell asleep.

Luna placed a few extra enchantments on the rooms, so nothing bad would happen.... Hopefully. Then she walked over to Roger’s room and knocked.

“Who the fuck is it that won’t let me sleep!?” Roger yelled. Luna just shook her head and opened the door before walking in and sitting on the couch that was next to the bed.

“Hello. We are Luna. Thou is Roger correct?” Luna said looking at the sleepy human .

“Yes.... What do you want?” Roger said as she sat up in her bed.

“Just a few questions before we leave thee alone to rest.” Luna stated calmly.

“Alright, but when you leave can you take that creep out with ya?” Roger said pointing to the pony imprinted in the wall. Luna nodded and Roger smiled. “Then shoot.”

“Hey fuck you bitch.” Tucker said.

“Me or the pony?” Roger asked.

“You.” Tucker said as he coughed a bit.

“Yeah. Take him away now before I kill him.” Roger said sounding more happy than anything. Luna’s horn glowed as she took Tucker out of the wall and placed him out side. “Thanks. Now please ask your questions so I may sleep.”

“Alright. Question one: Where were you this evening?” Luna asked

“Here.... Being bored.” Roger lamely said.

“Question two: Did you at anytime leave your guestroom?

“Yes. Several times.” Roger said stretching a bit

“Okay what did thou leave for?”

“To kick Tucker’s ass.” Roger answered.

“We see..... May we ask about your friends now?” Luna said leaning forward a bit.

“Yeah sure.” Roger said .

“What was your friend Rino doing?”

“The fuck should I know? I just saw them drunk and playing chess.” Roger said shrugging.

“Okay one final question and then thee may sleep.” Luna said. “Did thou rob a store and blow up the lake?”

“Lake yes.... Store no.” Roger said before lying back down. Luna blinked before shaking her head.

“Thank you for answering out questions. Have a nice sleep.” Luna said getting up and walking out before doing what she had done to Rino’s room. “We believe we may have some crazy visitors in our midst.”

Author's Note

Ah.... Here we are again.... Sooo, Caboose eh? You sure that's what you want?
Pinkies imagination Is helping me editing. So you can go thank him.
P.S Might still be errors here and there, feel free (as always) to point them out. Oh and also... Me and Pinkie have this awesome crossover idea that we might end up doing and no, I won't tell you the idea.

Anyways... Hoped you enjoyed the chapter.