Road to Nowhere

“WELCOME TO CANTERLOT!” yelled Pinkie, her face breaking into a huge grin.
Rainbow and I gaped at her. What was Pinkie doing in Canterlot?
“Pinkie, what are you doing here?!” Rainbow Dash asked, a confused look on her face.
Pinkie shot her signature party cannon in her face, causing in explosion in my ears. “WELL, I’m here to see if anypony is new to Canterlot so I can welcome them! Also, I heard you have a friend over; who is he? Is he friendly?”
Before she could ask more questions, Rainbow shoved her hoof over her mouth and responded. “Why don't you ask him yourself?”

Pinkie looked at me with a big smile and gave me a tight hug that almost killed me. “HEY THERE! What’s your name!” I wish I could answer you, but your hug is killing me!
She then noticed I couldn't breathe, letting go. “Sorry about that. Anyway, what kind of species are you? A kind of dragon? Or are a kind a pony that stands on two legs and
has these weird things on your hand?” She then blew her hoof like a balloon and popped a few fingers. But before I could answer her, Rainbow interrupted.

“First, Pinkie, he’s a human! His name’s Josh, second I’m taking him to Princess Celestia so she can ask him questions. Can you bring the rest of the gang?”
Pinkie smiled and gleefully replied, “Okie dokie, Dashie! Nice meeting you, Josh! OH, and I’m gonna have to throw you a welcome party! I’m gonna invite everypony in TOWN!”
Rainbow just stared at her with a blank face and responded, with a roll of her rose-colored eyes, “Sure, Pinkie… whatever you say...”

As we left, I stared at Rainbow and commented, “She seemed harmless.”
She turned to me and replied, “Sorry about that. Pinkie can be...random at times.” I looked at her with an eyebrow raised even more, and she added with a giggle, “Okay; A LOT of times!”
I just laughed and agreed with her comment. “Ha ha, no figure.”

As we came across the castle, my chest was filled with butterflies. I wondered: would the Princess like me? Or find me a threat? Rainbow noticed me all sweating a bit and casually bumped her hoof against my shoulder. “Dude, chill! She’s a nice princess! Of course she’ll like you!”
Thanks, Dash; maybe I can see that while she banishes me to the moon! “So, uhh... Rainbow Dash?” I asked in a nervous voice
“Dash is just fine, dude. What is it?” She looked at me with a look of prurient determination.

I just looked at the ground. “Dash...you don’t find me a threat, do you?”
She flew up to my face. “Are you kidding? You couldn’t hurt us if you wanted to! Besides, you seem cool to me!”
I couldn't help but grin, a bright light lightening my heart as I replied. “Thanks, Dash, I needed that! It’s just...do you find me a bit...ODD?”
She looked over my complexion and put a hoof to her chin in deep thought. “Well...you do look a little...weird…but I don't really care.” The light intensified. Maybe everything was going to be okay.

When we opened the elegant door, I heard a huge gulp noise coming from my throat. Then I saw her… Princess Celestia! My knees knocked against each other, desperate for each other’s support. When her eyes reached me, her eyes narrowed. “COME HERE, HUMAN!”
I felt a jolt of shock; she knew I was a human already! I guess that the ponies told her anyway. When I came closer, she whispered, in a smooth voice, “What brings you here… human?”

“Um... I kinda had an accident and I just got here. That’s all I know..?” She gave me a confused look but then understood as I went. I didn't have time for a lot of questions and answers right then; it would be WAY easier if... Just then, I had a thought; if I asked the Princess to do it, I’d save the discomfort of an interrogation session and the Princess’ suspicion.

“Um… Princess? If it’s possible...can you use your magic to read my mind? So you know everything about me?” She gave me a stern look, as if she were deciding whether to do so. I tried to face her, but it was pretty hard. Then she gave me a small smile. “Will do, human. But be warned, this spell MIGHT leave you dizzy.”

I agreed to her knowledge with a nod and prepared myself for the spell. Her horn glowed in a golden aura that matched the color of the sun. At first it was ticklish… but then my teeth clenched together as the vertigo came. Emotions of all sorts ran through me.

After the spell was over, the princess had a frown on her face, probably knowing about my dad’s death…and mine, I guessed. She then looked at me with remorse and said, “I...didn't know about your sad past... and I’m very sorry of the great loss that brought you here.”

What Celestia had just said put me in a bad mood again. What she said reminded me of my dad… “Josh?” I noticed she said my name, but I assumed that the spell worked, so it was no surprise.
“Josh... At first, I thought you were a strange creature who might hurt us when Twilight Sparkle and her friends described you to me in her letter, but now I see that you are harmless enough to ALL of us and we can accept you...as a friend.” After what I heard, giddiness that I wasn't a threat ran through my veins. Then again, I never really was a threat.

“It’s official then! We will settle you up with my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. She can study humans, such as you, should this happen again.” I bounced up. I was going to meet Twilight for the very first time!
Twilight came in as I fell to the floor. She was carrying a couple papers with her, and a blank book. She looked excited as well. “Princess Celestia, I came here in time! I’m not late am I?!”

Her violet eyes reached her student. “No, Twilight, you're here just in time. I want you to meet our special, new friend.”
Twilight looked at me with her jaw down and wide eyes digesting the details of something she never saw before... a human, a new species to study, she trotted towards me. “Oh my gosh, I've never seen anything like it! What’s your name?”
I smiled and replied, “The name’s Josh!”

I shook her hoof and she replied my greeting. “Charmed! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and i’m GLAD to meet a new friend... and study unknown species! Like, what do you humans do for a living? What do you eat? Are you male or female?”
Before she could ask me more questions, I put my hands over her mouth and replied; “I’ll answer your questions when we get to your place. I’m male.”

She took out her blank book, which I now saw was entitled The Human Species. With her magic gripping a quill, she wrote down the last question I answered.
“Male! Alright, that's what I need to know for now!” Twilight exclaimed with a giddy smile.
Princess Celestia smiled warmly down on us and replied, “It sounds like you two will get along just fine.” She then focused on Twilight and replied, “Josh needs a place to stay. So, I’d like to assign him to live in the library with you.” Twilight bounced up and down with happiness.

“Yes! Yes, Oh my gosh! YESSSSS! This gonna be so FUN and interesting; thank you soo much, Princess!”
Twilight looked up at her mentor. “You're very welcome, my faithful student.” she then turned towards me. I admit, I was a bit nervous about what she was about to say.
“Josh, I’m giving you a challenge to see if you’re sociable with other ponies in Ponyville… can you take on the challenge?
I was immediately determined. “CAN DO!”

She then excused us, and we left.

As me and Twilight walked out of the castle, I noticed a purple hot air balloon at the train station. Excitement at riding it made me bubble! The last time I was in one of those it was with...my dad. As we hopped aboard the balloon took off.
As we were floating in the sky, Twilight asked me a question. “So, Josh, I think I heard that you had a sad past. What’s up with that?”
I wasn't in any mood to talk about it. But all I had to say to her was this “I...don’t wanna talk about it right now…”
Twilight must’ve known what pain I was going through and responded, “Josh…if you ever wanna talk about it... I’m here for ya.”

When I heard those words, I knew I had somepony to count on, but sadness still poured over me. I smiled to Twilight, deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt, and said, “Thanks, Twi!” Just then, I realized I gave her a nickname, which was a bit of a shocker, in my opinion.
“What was that?!” asked Twilight in shock.
I was a bit nervous and dodged, “What was what?”
Twilight push a hoof on my chest and asserted, “That name you gave me!”
I might as well come clean and answer her...”Okay, I just called you Twi because It kinda...fits you!”

She couldn't help but smile as she giggled, “Don’t worry, Josh, I don't mind being called that!” She then hugged me to make her forgiveness clear. I was a bit uncomfortable, but she made me in a MUCH better mood now!
While she broke up the hug, I felt a little awkward... While I stared at the clouds, I was thinking of a Song that always cheered me up a bit; from a movie I used to watch with
my dad when I was a kid.

It made me wish things were different for me... the clouds were putting me to sleep... I closed my eyes for a few seconds. When I opened them up, I saw Rainbow Dash, staring at me up close, and, to be honest, it scared the living hell outta me!
“Hey, dude! How did it go?” asked Dash in a curious voice.
Before I can answer, Twilight cut in and answered for me. “Just wonderful! And, best of all, he’s staying with me!” At the end, her voice had a hint of pride.

Dash chuckled. “Well, Josh, have fun with a BUNCH of questions when you get to ponyville!” Her voice had a teasing note.
I was really nervous, growing more and more as we got closer to Ponyville. Seeking assurance, I asked Twilight, “So, uhh, how is everyone going to know this?”

Twilight looked at me with a bit of confusion and echoed, “Everyone? Don't you mean everypony?”
GREAT! I forgot; now I have to say everypony!
“But, to answer your question, Josh, I've already sent a letter to the mayor and told her to gather everypony in town to greet you, and you have to answer questions in return.”
QUESTIONS?! Man, is this going to be fun...

When we arrived in Ponyville moments later, there was a large crowd near us, accompanied by a sea of bulging, multicolored eyes. I couldn't blame them: a creature they'd never seen before in their LIVES was strolling in. When we walked towards the stage, Dash turned to me with a smirk on her face. “Good luck, Josh... Break a leg! HAHA!”
I gulped and was quite shaky; you could say I had stage fright, but it was painfully clear that it was time to MAN UP!

Twilight noticed me shaking 'a little' and assured, “Don’t worry, Josh, you'll do just fine!”

I smiled and replied, “Thanks, Twi! I needed that!” When I had my moment, I saw the mayor in all her respect: a tannish color with her gray (albeit dyed) mane. She was confidently speaking to everypony at the microphone.
“Welcome, everypony! Today is a special day for all of us, as we have a new visitor from a strange world!”
Everypony in the audience cheered, although for a limited time. To be honest, I was suprised they would even do that. I was expecting them to be scared at LEAST, even if just a little mystified. Put on the other han-hoof, I was glad that I wasn't a threat.

“And now... HERE he is... The HUMAN!!!" I slowly walked out on stage, accompanied by an ovation. I gave the mayor a handshake; she had been really cool about it. She smiled at me and said, “It’s been an honor meeting you here today...” I finished her sentence and replied “Mr. Josh, but just clal me Josh!” She smiled and spoke up to everypony again. “EVERYPONY, listen up! This here is Josh, and he will be taking your questions!”

Oh God...Why me?!

I moved myself closer to the microphone, and saw that everypony was staring at me. There was not one accusing face in the audience; only surprise and a few muttering ponies.
“So, uhh, hi, everypony. The name’s Josh, and... If you have any questions, raise your hands... I mean hooves!”
Please, don't ask that many questions!
...Then, half the audience raised their hoof!

damn?!

I turned to Twilight and I saw her getting her book ready for note taking, her horn glowing in its normal purple aura to hold her pencil in place. I noticed Pinkie jumping up and down, raising her hoof, from the last row. “PICK ME! PICK ME! PICK ME!”
“YES; you! In the back!”
“Do you humans like parties?!”
A flash of guilt reared its ugly head in. Oh great! Now I'm thinking about Jake!

I then answered her with a simple yes; no need to tell them about that. She bounced up and down with happiness, and something told me she was gonna throw me a welcome party later, which made my mood soar.
“Anypony else?” Again, half of them raised their hooves.
“OK, umm, you there in the middle! With the black and pink mane!” I pointed to who I recognized as Bon-Bon.
“WHY DO YOU WEAR CLOTHES?” she called.

Great, now you have to explain to her why humans wear clothes for a REASON?!
“Ummm, because humans don’t have umm fur like you do! We wear them for warmth...and, most of all...to hide our... private parts!” The last part was choked out, and I could tell.

Some of them were confused, but it only took them a few seconds to realize the meaning on it. Bon-Bon was blushing madly while couple mares around her were giggling. And, to be honest, I was blushing too; embarrassing!
“OK, anypony else?” Only a few raised their hooves. Good. That last question must've chased them off. I then noticed Lyra raising her hoof, I then pointed at her. “OK, you there with the green fur in the middle!”
“THANKS! What do you humans eat?”

SHIT! If ponies found out that humans eat meat, it’s gonna cause a panic!
“To answer your question... humans eat... like you, I guess. Vegetables and fruit.”
As nervous as I that they weren't gonna buy it, they did. I noticed they was only one hoof left... and it was Rainbow Dash.
“YES, Dash, do you have a question?”
"Umm, yeah... how old are you?”

Why would she ask me that? I figured: it was important for them to know about the human life span. “Well, Dash, to tell you the truth, I’m 16 years old! I’m still in my teen years until the age 18, which is adult years! Most humans live to be around their 70’s or 80’s; depends on the person, really.”

I then notice that the audience had no questions. Thank God!
“Since this Q&A thing is over, can I ask you all a question?"
They looked at each other with concern of what I have to say to them. I then slowly moved closer to the microphone and asked, “Do you all think of me a foe or a... Friend?

“FRIEND!”
“FRIEND!!!”
“FRIEND!”
“I think he’s handsome...”

Half of them, myself included, turned to Lyra, whom was blushing to be as red as a raspberry, along with me. “Thank you ALL! And Lyra!” She was concerned that, I now realized, I'd let it loose that I knew her name! Oh crud!
“Hey... how'd you know my name?” She was looking at me as if I'd been stalking her!
“Umm, just a guess!” At first I thought she wasn't buying it, but then started to believe me.

Just then, Pinkie yelled out to the audience, “Welcome to Ponyville party, AT MY PLACE!” Then everypony cheered with their excitement; I felt the same, frankly.
“Thanks to you all for considering me as a friend!” I was trotting down the wooden boards before realizing: I almost forgot to say something!

“OH, and LYRA!” She looked up at me, her brown eyes wide. ”Thanks for the compliment... I think you're cute, too.” She then blushed like red berries and fainted.

Wow! who knew a simple compliment can make a mare all sappy?

When I got off the stage, I noticed Dash and Twilight giving me a weird look. Dash spoke up.
“Wow; you're here in Ponyville for, like, ten minutes and you're already hitting on mares!”
“WHAT?!, I am not into mares! It’s just a compliment!”
Dash just rolled her eyes and sarcastically replied, “Sure it was!”

Twilight then cut in and said, "The point is that Josh did very well with the others!”

I then smiled at her. “Thanks, Twi!”
Dash just laughed on the ground as Twilight said to Dash., with accusation in her voice, “What’s so funny?”
“That name he gave you! So, Josh is giving ponies nicknames already? HAHA!”
I couldn't help but smile that she thought Twi was a goofy name and playfully retorted, “Well, I call you Dash! That’s like a nickname!”

Dash stopped laughing and replied, “OH... well, can't argue with that.” After that, we headed over to Twilight’s house.
While walking there, I was concerned. When would Pinkie throw me that party? Would she? When we came across Twilight's house, I was surprised to see it in person. I then turned to Twilight and asked, seeking her common assurance, “So, uhhh, Twi, when will Pinkie throw me that party?”

“OH; tonight! Don’t worry; you don't have to wear anything fancy, just be yourself!” While we entered Twilight's house, it was like in the show... BOOKS! Dash punched me on the shoulder, and I saw her with a smirk.

"Gotta go,Josh! But I'll see ya at Sugarcube Corner!" She extended her hoof to me and I bumped my fisted hand against it. My first brohoof!
Twilight lead me to her guest bedroom, which I had no idea she even had!
"Here's the room you'll be staying in," Twilight said.
"Thanks, Twilight."
"No problem, Josh! Might wanna hit the showers before you go to the party though; you smell pretty bad!"

After a further analysis, I confirmed her theory: I did stink!
There was a door to a bathroom within my bedroom, which had a bed and a dresser inside, but nothing else but, well, books along the entrance wall.
As I trotted into the bathroom, I thought to myself. How would the party go? I had to be sure not to say any names. But one thing was for sure...

This was my new life!