Space Station 13: From bad to worse, to Equestria

by MarcusFirehaven

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Random, Human
Length: 648

Read the expanded one, too lazy for compact.

Space Station 13 is a horrible place to live. This is apparent with the fact that an uneventful day leaves at least 1/3 of the station habitable. The most recent event to come across this hellhole is that they just got sucked into a wormhole… meaning the station probably blew up somewhere and was propelled into it. Well, most of the ship didn't make it, but a few survivors made it! The downside is that a few survivors made it. The reason the ship blew up on a daily hourly basis is the mostly incompetent staff. Oh, and a space wizard was there, and he probably did it.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-26 19:16:32 UTC

Hello, SS13!

*_^Whatever space SS13 occupies^_*

Today was uneventful for Neill.

First, one of the Clowns decided to play in either the Virology or Science labs and made a zombie virus, but was quickly stopped since the honks gave him away, the Chaplain made a religion based on LSD, a Space Ninja killed the Chef before he could turn the Zombie Clown into burgers, aaaand BroBot spaced himself (launched himself into space). BroBot shall be missed, but the station wasn't in a chain of explosives yet, so it was still good. Then the Head of Security walked into the bar.

He was covered in blood, which was probably from a Clown, since there was a rubber nose attached to his shoe. He walked up to the bar and said "I really need a Manly Dorf."

Niell is the Barman. He was wearing his favorite hoodie (light gray, has a very dark gray Lambda within a circle... the Half-Life symbol thing), a pair of gloves that match the hoodie, black jeans, and his hiking boots (they were comfortable). He looks like Egoraptor (for reference, I have the characters all look like how Egoraptor draws himself for his Sequelitis series in my head). He has no first name, since a crazed Security rookie (read as Security rookie) hit him on the head too hard with a stunstick, and he forgot it, so everybody gave him the nickname "Young". Yes, that makes him Young Neill, and I made that reference on purpose.

The Security was Jason Micheal. He had a trenchcoat on, jeans, and some normal work shoes. he had short, black hair. He has a laser rifle on his back. He's nice, but on a daily average, he spends 5 minutes of his day sober, the rest is buzzed or sleeping, and the sober minutes are just walking to the bar.

"Okay, but next time you can actually ask for one." Young Neill told the Head of Security.

After the Manly Dorf was consumed, in ten seconds flat, no less, the AI announced "How's it goin' bros? A space wizard has appeared. And his last known location was Engineering, he may be trying to release the Singularity, or bang Head of Security's wife."

Jason then threw the glass at the speaker and yelled "HE WILL DIE!!" and ran out of the door to get to Engineering.

About three seconds later, a huge explosion was heard and the AI yelled "IT WAS TO BANG HIS WIFE! Oh, and the ship is entering a wormhole, hope you have a spacesuit on! I am now downloading myself into the Barman's PDA in an act of self preservation. Have fun!"

Immediately after, Neill heard "PewDiePie.exe AI downloaded" emit from his PDA. He then quickly retrieved the space suit from under the bar (modified for impact survival and kept there for when things went to hell) and put it on. The station lurched and he got launched over the bar and against the wall, the force knocking him out.

*_^Canterlot, Luna's bedroom^_*

Luna was bored. Nothing ever happens in her part of the castle, even the Changeling invasion seemed to avoid it! She was contemplating throwing a pie at her sister, who had left the door to her balcony open, giving Luna a perfect shot, when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. It looked like a falling star, but Luna, knowing a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *gasp* OOOOOOOOOOT about space, knew that it is not true, maybe a meteorite? She knows it would just burn up in the atmosphere, but decided to watch it, since a meteorite would be an excellent exhibit in a museum if it didn't burn up. She saw it crash in the desert, and marked on a map where it landed. She turned to see where it landed again, just to double check, and was highly surprised!

It exploded.