The Ponypocolipse

by radiation_pony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Original Character, Random, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4169

We all know the world didn’t end in 2012. But what if something did happen, something that would change the world forever… something involving ponies.

We all know the world didn’t end in 2012. But what if something did happen, something that would change the world forever… something involving ponies.
the equestrian year is 1012 and the stars are aligned so that the princesses can visit a civilization they haven't seen in over four and a half thousand years

Published 2013-01-01 06:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-12 05:55:18 UTC

Chapter 1: The Return Of The Ponies

Earth: 1/12/2012_

“Yes the world is supposedly coming to an end. Yes people are rioting. Yes people are walking with signs saying repent. Do I believe that the Mayans had predicted the end of the world? Of course not! What sort of science geek would I be if I ran around screaming like a chicken with its head cut off just because of a centuries old calendar came to an end?” I ask my camera for my video diary

Earth: 6/12/2012_

“The riots are intensifying. Apparently over in Europe police are trying to stop flagellants from killing themselves. And in North Africa the governments are using tear gas on protesters. Here in America schools are closing because of shootings, it’s not too uncommon to hear a firearm late at night. Oh and guess what, physicists have found a pattern in the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, which may allow humans to one day develop teleportation.”

Equestria: 6/12/1012_

“Sister are thou sure of this?” Luna asked her older sister as they watched Twilight read a book about arcane spells “it tis dangerous on the other side and we do not know if she could control it. The stars are hard to use, we should know”

“Yes Lulu I am confident in her abilities if anypony could create the portal she can. In six days we will take her to our old castle. With the power of the stars at their strongest and the lay lines to control them she should be able to create the portal”

Equestria: 12/12/1012_

The princesses had gathered the Elements of Harmony to go to the castle of the royal pony sisters where the lay lines would be able to hold the stars’ power for Twilight to harness and create a portal to earth. As the seven ponies (Celestia having flown ahead) walked through the Everfree forest they talked about humanity

“Oh I'm so excited!” Twilight exclaimed as the expedition walked through the Everfree forest “meeting a civilization that we haven’t seen in over four thousand six hundred years”

“Only you Twilight could get so excited over a group of primitive apes” Rarity complained

“Don’t be mean Rarity. They could have advanced a lot in the 7.485.596.M4 years since we last visited them, they could have built big rockets to let them send robots to other planets” Pinkie retorted. And when she said the years since their last visit, instead of sound, numbers appeared next to her and floated by her side until she started saying words agen

“Did the element of laughter just speak the written form of numerals?” Luna asked as she looked at the bouncing pink mare

“Ah think she just did but that’s jus pinkie be’n pinkie” Applejack said completely unphased by what had just happened

“Pinkie you should know just as well as the next pony that there’s no such thing as robots and no rocket could go to another planet, there’s no way it could carry enough powder to go thousands of miles into space” Twilight corrected having no clue of how wrong she was.

“When you said those numbers what the hay did you mean? Time isn’t written like that” Rainbow Dash asked

Pinkie takes a deep breath before replying “it’s how the Imperium of Man writes time in the forty first millennium the seven means that the ability for error of ten years, the next three digits are the year fractions which divides the year into a thousand pieces. Then comes the year itself the first three signify the century the decade and the unit and the number after the em is how many thousands of years it is. The decimal points separate the different parts”

“So according to this ‘Imperium of Man’ the date here is five point nine hundred and fifty five point twelve em one?” Princess Celestia asks, startling all the ponies (save Princess Luna) who had walked to the castle’s gate without noticing

“Ah, nopie dopie lopie the first number is the accuracy so a one through five is how many links the event is from the empire’s center so this should be a one although since we aren’t in the Imperium it could be written as a nine” Pinkie corrected

“Oh, princess! I don’t know how we got here so fast” Twilight stated as she ran up to her mentor before asking are we ready to begin the spell?”

Celestia looks up at the sky as her horn starts to glow lowering the sun the last bit over the horizon “Luna has called for a lunar eclipse so all the stars should be at their most powerful.” Celestia looks at the cyan pegasus “Now Rainbow Dash could you keep the clouds away?”

Dash replies with a smirk “even in the Everfree I can clear the sky in ten, seconds, flat!” before flying up to clear the sky like she said she would

Celestia looks back at Twilight and continues “I’ve looked at the lay lines and their more intact than I believed so we don’t need to repair them. All we’re waiting for is for Luna to finish playing with the sky”

A minute later Luna landed next to the group and says to Celestia “sister we have finished arranging the stars, we are ready to begin”

“as beautiful as ever lulu” Celestia praised before walking into the heart of the castle, gesturing for the others to follow her.

The group walks into the room that they had stopped Nightmare Moon only this time a large circle had been chalked onto the ground. Celestia says to Luna you’re right it very well could be dangerous so that why I'm bringing my two best guardsponies” with a flash of light two white ponies in gold armor appeared, one with wings the other a unicorn. “may I introduce Shining Armor and Commander Barricade.”

“Shining! Twilight yells as she runs up to the unicorn guard. “I missed you so much BBBFF”

“I missed you too Twilie” he responds as he wraps her in a hug.

Standing in the corner of the room Fluttershy looks at the pegasus mare before asking a single word “Mom?”

Everypony in the room stops what they’re doing and stares at the two ponies

“Mom it is you!” Fluttershy almost shouts as she gallops to the armored pegasus who smiles and braces for the impact.

Shining Armor tries to shout a warning “Fluttershy stop, you’ll hurt yourself” but the yellow mare continues galloping towards her mother who was in her Equestria famous defensive stance.

Everypony looks away as Fluttershy impacts her mother a moment later the ponies look back to see Barricade on her back and Fluttershy triumphantly standing over her.

The captain of the royal guard manages to studier “Barricade?”

She replies as she pushes Fluttershy off herself “yes I know, I’ve halted grifonian battle chariots in their tracks but I can’t stop my own daughter.” She looks at Fluttershy “it’s good to see you too”

Princess Luna is the first to come to her senses “now that this reunion is over can we continue with the spell?”

“Everypony stand inside the circle, Twilight you know what to do. Luna and I will help you” Celestia instructs. The elements of harmony and the two guards run to the edge and stand there as Twilight walked to the center.

“Twilight, one last time which spells are you supposed to use?” Celestia quizzes

“Starswirl the Bearded’s Dimensional Alteration spell, the Heartstrings human detection spell, a mass long range teleportation spell, and a shape shifting spell to keep us from startling the humans” Twilight recites receiving a nod from the solar Princess.

Twilight’s horn starts to glow and the chalk line burst into spectral fire. At six points equidistant from one another on the edge of the circle lines shot out to meet one another as well as racing toward the center where Twilight’s standing. As the six lines touch her hooves she gasps and her eyes glow white then she says “Luna, I'm ready”

The Princess of the night nods and her horn glows as she guides the power of the stars. She walks forward and touches horns with Twilight transferring the power to the purple unicorn which immediately raises into the air her hooves still burning with ethereal fire. Her friends, the guards, and the princesses start to burn with the same fire. A moment later starting at the tip of her horn a sphere of dark blue energy appears, and with the help of Twilight and the two alicorns, it starts to expand.

The purple mare starts to sweat and the glow of her horn starts to fluctuate. She gasps and stutters “I, I can’t hold it.” a second later the sphere explodes.

Earth: 12/12/2012_

“Ha! see the world didn’t end. all those people that sold everything because they thought the world was going to end, joke’s on them!”

“I'm wondering could you… why are you talking to that box?” a rather girly voice asks

I look behind me, I don’t have any sisters. I'm shocked at what I see: a light blue unicorn with a brown mane. Unicorns are mythological creatures, aren’t they?

“um why are you staring at me like that” the small horse, no pony

“well, it’s not everyday you see a unicorn in your house” understatement of the year

“I don’t know where you’re looking but when I was walking down the hall I almost ran into one, she ran away when I asked where I was; I think she’s your mom”

“my parents are not ponies!” I almost yell

“uh, ya, they are, simple genetics: if you’re a pony, your parents are ponies. So yes they’re ponies, and so are you I you haven’t noticed.” She says rolling her eyes

“I'm most definitely not a…” I raise my hand. Only to find that it’s now a hot, pink, hoof. I only have one thing left to say:

“oh, fuck”

Author's Note

happy new years everypony new story spent the past few days working on it. no i still don't have an editor

i don't know when i'll update next

Chapter 2: The Troops Arive

Chapter 2

12/12/2012_
The alicorn sisters and the mane six step out into an old ring of stone that had fallen into disrepair. The size of the stone showing the construction of the site was a monumental effort if what Celestia said about humans lacking magic was true.

“These stones would be hard for even me to lift” Twilight wondered aloud.

“Ello?” a green unicorn stepped out of hiding from behind a pillar.

Rainbow Dash flew up into the stallion’s face “how are you here? Are you a spy?”

“What? I was gathered here with me fellows, then there was a bright light and I found myself as this horse. I could ask the same for ye”

Celestia stated “we’re from another world and this is our natural form, as for you I believe you were too close to the event. I apologize for changing your body” other ponies steped out from the woods and from behind pillars “why are all of you here? I see no local civilization”

“Me and me fellows are of a dying religion. We were gathered here at Stonehenge because the ancient texts state that tonight the goddess of the stars and magic would appear, I presume that its one of ye?”

The white alicorn sighed “Humans always assume that we’re gods, and we’re not. But where are my manners, I am Celestia, also referred to by the Egyptians as Ra and according to my sister, the Greco-Roman Apollo. Back home I move the sun” She pointed her hoof at the dark blue alicorn “this is my sister Luna and in our world she raises the moon. And this is Twilight the one of which I believe the ancient texts of yours refer to.” She pointed at the ‘small’ purple alicorn. “Now could you take us to civilization?”

“We can, but I'm sure you can understand why I’d prefer to take you through the forests”

“That is fine with us. Lead the way” he nods and walked into the nearby forest walking somewhat clumsily given that he’s only been a pony for a few minutes.

A breeze pushed its way through the woods startling Rainbow Dash “what was that, a ghost?”

A brown earth pony with a red mane and wearing an eye patch said “neigh laddy, that was just the wind. It’s all over the place, we are towards the top of a hill” his cutie mark was a strange book with an explosive buried in the center

“The wind, you mean the stuff that’s in the Everfree? How do stop it from messing with the clouds?”

“I don’t know about no ever-free but ye say that like we control the weather.”

“Don’t you?”

“How can we, it’s not like its solid” a lime pegasus butted in. “name’s Tim”

“Actually pegasi can manipulate the weather and there are walk on cloud spells unicorns can perform” Twilight answered matter-of-factly.

“Did you just say spells laddy, as in magic?”

“Yes she did, back home in Equestria magic is a fundamental part of life and often taken for granted. I believe that Twilight’s spell may have given you similar abilities” Celestia explained “perhaps she could teach you sometime”

Soon they reach the edge of the forest where the group could see a small village with ponies walking about. Suddenly air raid sirens started blaring. “I would appear that it reached a nearby town” Luna stated

“Neigh, this town doesn't poses such fancy machinery, that’s coming from the next town over” the green unicorn pointed out. The fact that the town also has ponies eases the druids fears and the group starts walking towards the town

Celestia looked back to the town they are approaching and raised an eyebrow when she saw a familiar muffin loving pegasus but said nothing.

As they walk through the town they passed an elderly stallion that had managed to figure out how to use telekinetics and had simply turned the ability to lifting a cup of tea to his lips as he read the evening paper like the world hadn't changed a bit. When Luna saw an open area the half jumped, half flew onto a fountain statue and shouted using the royal Canterlot voice “WE ARE DIGNITARIES FROM ANOTHER WORLD AND WOULD WISH TO SPEAK TO YOUR WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL LEADERS”

A colt in black and white checkered clothes and wearing a funny hat and a combat baton for a cutie mark said “you yell that you’re an alien and then request to be taken to our leaders to disuse a crisis that you likely made, I think rule #1 with dealing with hostile aliens ‘don’t let them near your leaders or they’ll watt them or something’”

“I believe my sister means to inform your governments that it was an accident and that we come in peace”

Pinkie groaned “stop being so cliche”

“An accident, huh? So you turn everyone in Great Briton and for all I know, the whole world, into ponies?” constable questions threateningly

“I am afraid so” Twilight apologizes “Sorry”

“Could thou contact thou’s leader to inform them?” Luna asks

“Could you stop talking like a medieval queen” the constable retorts

“We are a princess and we have been away from society for a thousand years. Will thou send a message?” Luna not-so-kindly informs

“Fine I’ll inform London” he nodded to another pony who was sitting in a white car with lights on top; the pony fumbled with a black plastic cube on a curly chord.

Celestia thanked the officer who just rolled his eyes; and walked up to the mailmare Ditzy Hooves, as the grey pegasus walked down the street reading the addresses “miss, am I interrupting anything?”

“Oh, hi princess, no I not busy. But I fink I lost, I in Ponyville then I here, lost. I hope my muffins alright.” She added the last sentence with a frown.

“I'm sure your daughters are fine. Sparkler’s nearly all grown up, she can take care of dinky for a while” reassured Celestia. Ditzy merely nodded. Meanwhile Luna was having a similar conversation.

“Uh, Princess Luna. Where are we?” a mint green unicorn with a lyre cutie mark asked

“We are in the nation of Great Briton if thou must know”

“Great Briton, you mean the one on Homo with the humans?” the mint green unicorn squeed at the mention of her obsession’s existence

“The planet is called Earth but yes, the planet with the humans.”

“So where are they? The humans I mean.”

“they’re all around us, look for somepony you don’t know and they were likely a human”

“really”

“I'm afraid so”

Luna watched as Lyra got up and walked over to somepony to in all likelyhood ask them about humans. Before the lyricist could make a fool of herself the princess walked over to where Rainbow Dash was giving flight lessens to the pegasi portion of the population with varying levels of success; where she decided to wait for her sister to finish talking to Equestria’s most well-known, and clumsiest, mailmare. In the meantime she decided to listen in on Dash’s conversations.

“My tortoise can fly better then you” the chromatic mare wearing a, Luna had no idea where she got it; coach’s wisle yelled at a grounded colt

“Turtles don’t fly, bird brain” he retorted

“They do when you give them enchanted helicopter hats, now give me thirty laps” she gestured at some pegisi flying around the plaza. The colt started trotting about. Rainbow facehooved and turned to another pegasus.

“Sister” Luna turned to see her white coated sister approaching and opened her mouth to speak

“It is worse than I expected” both princesses stated simultaneously.

Rarity walked up “every time something new happens you two mares have been reacting worse and worse, soon you might rival me in dramatic effect” she warned.

“The spell doesn't just bring us to this world it merges the two dimensions in the affected area. The size of the area is a Tetration of the mana used to make it” Celestia explained.

“Think of it in tiers the first is Stonehenge then the space around it, after that is the town and beyond that, the world.” Her sister finished.

Rarity fell back onto a Prench sofa “this is THE WORST POSSIBAL THING!” she cried

Luna leaned towards Celestia “I hope that we’re not that bad”

“What will I do? How can I live without my buteic?” Rarity got up and grabbed Celestia’s face “my sister!” before falling back onto the sofa in a shower of tears.

“Sweetie Bell is most likely fine, it’s just a matter of finding her” the white alicorn attempted to comfort the dramatic mare.

The constable gallops up to the princesses “royal guards will be escorting you to the crown”

Author's Note

I want it to be known that i have nothing agenced druids and meant no offence but Stonehenge was the perfect place to put the portal after that one thing led to another . if I offended anyone I am sincerely sorry as am I for being late to post (Pinkie almost got my head for it)

So have yourselves a hopefully better writan chapter (an a little help on certain words that i may have broken spellcheck with)

Chapter 3: 'Merica

Meanwhile deep under the White House-

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M A LITTLE HORSE!” wheezed a orange pony with a blonde tribble on his head.

“Calm down Mister President, all this screaming isn't good for your larynx” said one of his security guards

“I HAVE BIGGER, HUGE-ER PROBLEMS THAN YOUR MADE UP BODY PARTS” the orange trumpilufigus screamed “I CAN'T TURN THE NUCLEAR KEYS WITH THESES BIG, HUGE THUMBS”

“Um, Sir, those aren't thumbs, you don't have hands” chipped in a new guard

“YOU'RE FIRED!” Mr. President dismissed him before turning to a server tech “You need to replace these tiny, TINY, keys with a BIG, and I mean BIG button. That way I can BLOW THE ILLEGAL, LIBERAL, ISLAMIC, TERRORIST, IMMIGRANTS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET, and make sure to make the button red, big buttons are always red” as his anger at the situation rose a vein above the president's left eye bulged.

The technician was about to comment that he wasn't an engineer when the senior security guard stepped in, “Mister President, I suggest you take a moment and watch the news, afterword the CIA can report on their findings on this event”

“Yes that would be good” the Commander and Chief is led away to another room in the presidential bunker where channel 9 commercials can be heard blaring.

At the same time the sun rose over the rocky mountains and hundreds of celebrities and wannabes woke up to find millions of dollars in breast implants, plastic surgery and more exotic body modifications gone. As word reached NASDAQ, stocks in silicon and jellyfish venom plummeted.

Hospitals around the planet struggled to cope with the number of healthy patients as not only were ponies checking in to figure out what was wrong with them but whatever caused the transformation seemed to have a mild healing effect, not that the medical staff knew where to start with their now equine patients, well except for the new ones that appeared out of nowhere, like a nurse who insists her name is ‘Redheart’.

Back in the president's secure command bunker, chief of the CIA and founder of Wikileaks was informing the president about the new world order

“So the entire, Huge world now look like this?” the unconvinced president questioned

“Yes, although there are three variations: ones with a single horn which we dubbed Unicorns, ones with wings which we called Pegasi, and ones with neither, which we don't have a good name for yet, although the leader of North Korea Kim Il Sung claims to be a combination of all three, which he claims is a sign of godhood, we haven't found a pattern with this yet” the head of the CIA opens the next folder “In addition there appears to be a large influx of ‘ponies’”

“Ponies, are we under attack by little, tiny horses?”

“No they look the same as us but they are not local, that’s what they call themselves ‘ponies’ they can be distinguished by their strange names and that the unicorn ones seem to be capable of telekinesis while the pegasi ones can actually fly”

“We don't know who they are, they have funny names, THEIR REFUGEES! I knew we needed that travel ban.”

The chief of the CIA was about to respond when a faint pounding accompanied by even fainter signing, as they listened the singing got louder until they could hear the words, “Brothers of the mine rejoice, Sing sing sing with me, raise your pick and raise your voice, Swing swing swing with me…” at this point the whole bunker was shaking as cracks formed in the wall and a force of bearded diamond dogs with pickaxes broke though. The leader, which had a brilliant orange beard; Stepped forward.

“Shoddy workmanship, not even real rock, just gravel glued into clumps, c'mon lads still a bit to go to reach the surface, we need to meet the princesses”

The security guards drew their weapons while one questioned “What are you doing here? How did you get here? What are you?”

The creature responded “we’re just passing though, sorry about the mess” he tossed a small bag which spilled gold coins across the floor ”hope that pays for damages, and don't patch the tunnels before we come back or we will break through again. As for how we got here, we dug idiot. As for what we are, well we were dwarves digging holes…”

The other creatures started singing “I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole diggy diggy hole digging hole”

“...in search of Diamonds, Rubies, Gold, and more, when magic turned us into whatever we are, looks like the same happened to you, how are you humans doing, must be what? Centuries since we last met?” the leader shakes the dumbfounded president's hoof “Are you still building walls? Anyway we really must be on our way”

The ‘Dwarf’ lead his group to the far wall and they started to sing again “To dig and Dig makes us free come on brother dig with me, I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole diggy diggy hole…” in less than a minute they had dug a hole deep enough for all fifty plus to fit with ease

Afterwards the everyone in the War room went WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

Author's Note

I'M BACK!

and I'm gone again, ant nobody tell me what to do