The Adventures of Trixie if Her Father Was a Badass Alien

by totallynotabrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Fluttershy, Flim and Flam, Trixie, Comedy, Adventure, Iron Will, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 47446

After some irresponsible age spells, radiation exposure, and adoption, Trixie is...changed. Rated M for machine gun.

After being exposed to radiation and misfiring age spells, Trixie was forced to relive her foalhood in the care of a mysterious, possibly insane, stallion who claims to be from another planet. Now that he's gone, Trixie will have to make her own way using the skills he taught her and a few pieces of otherworldly technology.

This story is rated M for machine gun.

Published 2013-02-23 05:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-17 21:48:51 UTC

Chapter 1

A side story to the Dreams Series
The Adventures of Trixie if Her Father Was a Badass Alien

The sky began to darken towards evening. Still faintly visible was the fiery exhaust of the rocket that had launched from Ponyville a short while earlier. Trixie lay on her back on a grassy hill outside town staring forlornly at the fading trail in the atmosphere. Aboard the rocket was the only pony she could truly count on.

The blue unicorn mare looked troubled as she lay on top of her purple cape. A gentle breeze ruffled her pointed hat and silvery mane, but did nothing to lift her spirits. Things had not gone well for Trixie since the first time she’d visited Ponyville. She had fled after the Ursa Minor incident to patch up her pride and plot revenge. Her attention had turned to the strange stallion living as Twilight Sparkle’s roommate, an orange earth pony who called himself Valiant. He was not interested in the librarian romantically, and in fact interested in little besides creating outlandish devices and searching for something called alcohol.

Trixie got up from her place on the hill, heading towards the Ponyville library which was currently empty after the New Princess fiasco that had occurred recently. Valiant had been called on to solve some of the problems related to that, mostly because they had been largely his fault. Alicorns and aliens did not mix well.

Valiant was not a pony who handled conflict very well, in fact he was a pony in shape only. Had Trixie known more about him, she would never have crossed his path. As it was, she had been looking for something to give her an edge over Twilight, and had stolen from Valiant something called a nuclear weapon.

The experience had been one of the most horrible events of her life. Unaware of proper handling procedures, Trixie had been exposed to huge amounts of radiation that altered her body grotesquely and left her mind barely intact and thirsting for revenge. She wandered Equestria, becoming a criminal and social outcast.

Everything had come to a head during a climactic battle in Ponyville. The Alicorn Amulet Trixie had obtained to enhance her power had increased her repertoire of spells, but she was still a freak of nature. During the fight, an age-changing spell had been reflected straight back in Trixie’s face, reverting her back to unblemished foalhood.

The blue unicorn came down off the hill and walked through town. She opened the library door and stepped inside, looking around and thinking about her future. It certainly looked better now than it had. The age spell wore off over the course of a few weeks, but in that period of growing Trixie had become an entirely different pony. Gone were her old ways, even the harmless magic show pranks. Old habits had changed, and her life had taken a completely different turn.

As a helpless filly, assistance had come to Trixie from an unlikely source. Valiant, the pony she’d antagonized and wouldn’t have minded murdering, had been overcome with something he called “a case of the feels.” He had, in every sense of the word, adopted her. Trixie remembered her biological parents, but they…well, she’d gone on the road as a traveling magician for a reason.

Valiant cared for Trixie, and convinced Twilight to tutor her in magic. A few weeks hadn’t been nearly enough to cover a whole education, but Trixie’s memories had survived intact and she was able to build off what she already knew.

Her overall power was stronger than before, something that was eventually connected to residual radiation. That discovery had nearly put an unshakable dark cloud over everything. Would Trixie’s body go back to being disfigured as she grew? Was her condition unsafe for the ponies around her?

A local zebra chemist named Zecora had come through with special medicine that helped. As long as Trixie kept taking the drug and was careful with her magic output, she should be fine.

Through it all, Valiant had remained a loving parent. It was odd, as he claimed to have never loved anything in Equestria before. Trixie had not asked much about the world he had come from.

Standing in the library, Trixie sighed. She’d matured and re-earned her cutie mark, physically reverting back to the mare she had been, maybe missing a year or two. In fact, age-wise she was really more of a contemporary of Valiant. The feeling of family she’d gotten from him, however, was something she honestly didn’t remember ever experiencing before. Strange that somepony who wasn’t really a pony could be more connected to her than any other.

Valiant wasn’t from the planet. Exactly how he had gotten to Equestria was a bit of a sensitive and complicated subject, one that not even he understood well. One thing he was knowledgeable about though was advanced technology, even if Equestria had no need for rockets or projectile weapons. Valiant seemed to be driven to be considered cool, even if only by himself. That was why he’d taken off on a flight to space.

Trixie collected a few possessions. She’d lived with Twilight and Valiant in the library, and now that both of them had just left Ponyville for different reasons, there was no reason for her to hang around. She had already decided to take to the road, much like the traveling magician act she’d once known. This would not be a tour for a flashy show, however. Trixie was not yet sure what she wanted to do with her new lease on life. Cutie marks might designate talent, but purpose was something else entirely.

There had once been a time in her life when Trixie didn’t trust wheels. Learning to skateboard had broken her of that habit. The board had been put on semi-permanent loan to her when Valiant had left. He had also taught her how to use one of the products of a recent engineering spree. It was a weapon called an M60 machine gun. Trixie did not know who Rambo was, but apparently he had used something similar.

It was a ridiculous weapon, really. It could fire a hundred-round belt of ammunition in about ten seconds. The cartridges had to be custom made from lead, copper, brass, and gunpowder. That was a lot of work, but it would kill just about anything.

Truthfully, with a weight of twenty three pounds, it was more versatile to use it as a club. Trixie was not sure whether it was the power of the atom or more study that had given a boost to her magic, but she was glad to have it. Actually firing the machine gun required effort.

She slung the weapon on her back and reached for a pair of sunglasses. They were fairly stylish and had belonged to Valiant. Settling them on her face, Trixie took one last look around. She had a supply of anti-rad medicine, some bits, and the things on her back. Not the best way to prepare for a trip, but if there was one thing her adopted father had taught her, it was to be creative.

Trixie stepped onto the skateboard and rolled towards the door. Outside the library, Ponyville awaited. She glanced around the small town for a moment before turning to the west and heading towards the setting sun with no particular destination in mind. Whatever happened next was up to the whim of chance.

Chapter 2

The tavern was quiet and dark, a good place to rest from the sunny afternoon or perhaps an ideal brooding spot. The customers’ reasons for visiting the establishment seemed to be split about evenly.

A blue unicorn mare with a silver mane sat in a booth far from the door. Her back was to the wall, and her pointed purple hat was pulled low. The matching cape she wore had been folded around her body, concealing her cutie mark and mostly disguising the enormous firearm crammed into the booth with her.

The machine gun did not raise any eyebrows, mostly because the other ponies did not know what it was. That was fine. Trixie didn’t want any unnecessary scrutiny.

A part of her still wanted to be the star of the show. Her crazy adopted father hadn’t seen anything wrong with it, as long as she did it in the most badass way possible. It had taken Trixie a while to figure out the meaning of that word, as with much of Valiant’s vocabulary.

She sipped her beverage quietly and did her best to stay invisible. That was a little difficult with her outfit, but Trixie recognized the value of clothing. Better to have it and not need it than the other way around.

That was a common theme with Valiant. He did a lot that he didn’t need to. Mostly for entertainment because he was bored, but there was also evidence of pre-planned preparedness. Trixie had learned a lot about him from Twilight during the time she was training in magic with the librarian, particularly that Valiant unfortunately had flaws. Still, she was able to look past them to see the better qualities. There were a lot of practical things he did.

Things like paranoia. Trixie had unfortunately made quite a few enemies during her radiation/rage fueled rampage across Equestria. Valiant too had plenty of ponies after him. Lying low and being watchful was the best way to stay out of trouble.

The door opened and a pair of unicorn stallions came in. They wore matching hats and vests. In fact, they appeared to be nearly identical. Trixie shifted slightly. Based on what she had heard, these would be the Flim Flam Brothers.

She pulled out a few small capsules fashioned from the raw medicine Zecora made. These pills kept further radiological mutation at bay. As long as Trixie took them and didn’t throw around too much magic, she would be fine.

There was no hard limit line for usage, however. Trixie’s body had been substantially altered, to the point that her magic was actually based on radiation. That was one reason she had left Ponyville-to protect everypony else.

She took a pill with her drink, finishing the glass. Leaving enough enough bits to cover it on the table, Trixie mounted her skateboard and rolled out the front door.

The wheels on the board had no trouble with smooth surfaces and only experienced roughness on the most uneven cobblestones. Dirt was another matter, making the skateboard troublesome to use effectively. Trixie often found herself walking.

The small city of Whinnypeg was to Equestria’s north. It had taken a reasonably long trip to get there. Trixie didn’t mind. She had nothing better to do. The oil stock Valiant had left her provided a steady income. She could have spent more, but didn’t want to appear irresponsible if he came back. When he came back, she reminded herself.

Trixie glanced sideways at a large contraption that sat outside the tavern. Fancily-painted letters indicated that it was a Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. The Flim Flam Brothers came out and saw her looking at the machine.

The stallions walked over to Trixie wearing broad grins. As they reached her, the two of them broke into song.

Howdy hi, howdy ho,

We’re going to give you a show.

I’m Flim, he’s Flam, and we’d really like to know…

Have you ever seen our show?

The two broke into an associated dance and kept singing.

Our show is composed of our favorite mix.

A lot to choose from, our favorite picks!

I’m Flam, he’s Flim, and we’ve got our tricks!

Have you ever seen our di-

Trixie cut them off. “Are you trying to have sex with me?”

Their rhythm broken, the two stallions deflated somewhat. “Er, yeah, that was sort of the idea,” admitted Flim.

“You aren’t supposed to say it!” chastised Flam. He turned back to Trixie. “How did you know?”

“I used to work in show biz myself.” The mare cleared her throat and put on a fancy lit. “Perhaps you’ve heard of the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“Dear Celestia, run!” screamed Flim in terror. His brother was right behind him. They fled down the street, forgetting about their machine.

“Well that was weird,” murmured Trixie to herself. She knew her reputation had spread somewhat during her little radiological scorned-mare-with-mutant-superpowers period, but hadn’t realized that common showponies had heard of her.

Another realization came to her. She wasn't sure she could ever have sex again, at least not without seriously harming her partner. While Valiant might not be enthusiastic about himself in a relationship with a pony, Trixe was fairly sure he would not do more than mildy terrorize any stallion she brought home.

Trixie kicked her skateboard the other direction, deciding that maybe she would head out of town. A cloaked pony stepped into her path before she reached city limits, however.

Dragging her hoof to stop, Trixie stared at the newcomer. The unicorn mare was grey in color, but with a tangle of multicolored mane that looked like ten kinds of cotton candy in a blender. Her cloak was pink and decorated with orange starbursts, not a complementary color scheme to its wearer.

Trixie opened her mouth to ask the fashion-impaired pony why she was standing in the middle of the road, but the grey mare cut her off. “Did I just hear you called the Great and Powerful Trixie? I’ve been waiting to meet you. I heard you were some sort of freakshow for a while, but you look rather ordinary to me.”

Her tone was not one of pleasant conversation. Sensing oncoming conflict, Trixie shifted her gun slightly and said, “Just Trixie.”

“Regardless, I challenge you to a magic duel! If I win, then I claim all your showmare territory and fanbase.”

“I don’t think you really understand how the life of a traveling magician works. Anyway, I don’t do that anymore. Go bother somepony else.” Trixie turned her skateboard to go around the persistent pony but was blocked again.

This time, the mare came so close there was nothing but Trixie’s sunglasses separating the two of them. “You and me. Magic duel.”

“The last time I was in a magic duel, all of Ponyville was held hostage and nearly destroyed by combat robots,” said Trixie, diplomatically taking a step backwards. “If you were nearly powerful enough to match that, I would have heard of you.”

“I’m an up-and-comer,” said the grey mare. “You’d better know my name. Starburst. Memorize it.”

“Uh huh.” Trixie thought for a moment. “If I agree to a magic duel and forfeit, will you leave me alone?”

“Never!” Starburst’s horn glowed and small sparks of magic began to build as she generated a complex spell. Trixie, though powerful in her own right, was no Twilight Sparkle and couldn’t tell what the spell would do just by sensing it.

“Prepare to be amazed!” announced Starburst as she got closer to release. She had begun to pant and closed her eyes in concentration, approaching climax. Her horn was charged and full to bursting with a load of magic just waiting to be expelled. To avoid any further sex-related puns, Trixie whacked her in the face with the M60’s considerable bulk. Starburst dropped to the ground, out cold.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Amateur.”

She rolled the skateboard away and out of town. Her travel the rest of the day went well, and Trixie made camp on a grassy embankment beside the river near Fort Horse. Her style of camping saved money and kept her out of cities. She was still worried about anything harmful that might happen to innocent ponies if she spent too long around them.

During her performance days, Trixie lived in a wagon. While primitive, it wasn’t quite as bad as sleeping under her cloak with nothing but a gun, a skateboard, some pills, and a supply of bits to her name. Still, it felt liberating, and breaking the mindset that she had to stay near civilization freed Trixie to travel wherever she wished.

A wagon train rolled through in the morning, waking Trixie. She had gotten a decent sleep so the interruption was not irritating. She trotted beside one of the wagons, asking the driver where the convoy was going.

“Just down the road to Fort Horse,” he replied. “We have a problem, though. Somepony messed up the shipment and all we’re carrying is apples. We need applesauce!”

Trixie thought for a moment. “I might be able to help you.”

She slung the M60 off her back and checked the feed tray and ammunition. The other wagon drivers pulled up and curiously watched her work over the strange device.

“Stand back and cover your ears,” advised Trixie. She lifted the cover on the first wagon, spotting the pile of apples it contained. After careful mental calculations to determine the best angle for the machine gun barrel, she pulled the trigger.

The hammer of bullets firing was blocked by a hearing-protection spell Trixie had cast. She carefully kept the spent brass casings from falling into the wagons, which were quickly filling up with applesauce rather than apples.

As the end of the ammunition belt ran through the M60, the firing stopped. All the fruit had been satisfactorily converted into paste. Trixie stowed the empty casings, knowing she would have to reload them.

The wagon ponies were happy. They offered Trixie all the all-natural, fresh-made applesauce she could eat. It made for a healthy if slightly bland breakfast.

“What does that thing use to make applesauce?” asked one of the ponies.

Trixie smiled. “Seven-six-two millimeter, full metal jacket.”

She bid them goodbye and headed toward Fort Horse. Surely there had to be somewhere in town she could find supplies to create fresh cartridges. Tracer bullets were more difficult to manufacture than regular ones. Trixie had a spare ammo belt, but that was only one hundred more rounds.

Fort Horse was a little dry and dusty. The river that could have provided water to green things up was set in a canyon that prevented the moisture from spreading very far. The town wasn’t a desert, however. Its location in the southwest was ideal for a trading post for the surrounding area.

The wind ruffled Trixie’s cape a little as she rolled down the street. She found various shops selling copper sheeting, lead, and gunpowder. Party cannons were not common, but the powder to fire them had to come from somewhere. Trixie understood that the stuff was also used for blasting in mining operations.

Far down the street, Trixie spotted a flash of pink. She lowered her sunglasses, staring at the unattractively-attired Starburst. The other unicorn’s appearance could have been coincidence, but Trixie was doubtful. She turned and strode into a back alley to conceal herself from view before making her way out of town.

In the bluffs overlooking the canyon, Trixie sat and built a small fire from scattered flammables she was able to find. While she might have been able to forge bullets with magic alone, heat made the process much easier, softening the materials.

Trixie formed the slugs of lead, wrapping them in bright copper jackets. Along with a carefully measured amount of gunpowder, she inserted them into the brass casings. It took a little work to get the primers refurbished, carefully ensuring that they would ignite the powder when struck.

Satisfied with her work, Trixie put the new cartridges into a belt and packed it up for when she needed it. She mounted her skateboard and toured close to the edge of the canyon, looking at the river far below. Her thoughts touched on the Flim Flam Brothers and their frightened reaction, but mostly she was concerned with Starburst. The grey mare had seemed like a pushover, but it was not a good idea to pass judgment based on appearance alone.

Trixie’s thoughts shifted again as she studied the walls of the canyon. I bet I could get a sick grind off those rocks.

Chapter 3

The hot dusty air of the desert felt heavy on Trixie’s face as she slogged through loose sand on her way to the railroad tracks. At first, leaving Fort Horse to the west seemed like a good idea. She had no idea what Starburst was doing in town and had decided not to find out.

The desert was not a pleasant place. Out here, there was nothing to grow and few ponies living in the area who wanted their weather delivered. No pegasi ventured into the heat and cloudless skies.

Trixie took a sip of water. She’d applied a basic rain repellent spell to the inside of her hat and was using it to carry water. As it turned out, the canyon walls were great for vert skateboarding, and she’d ended up carving a path quite a ways down the gorge. When she finally ran out of speed, the river at the bottom of the canyon provided an inviting place to get a drink and prepare for the next leg of her trip.

According to a railway system map, there should be a flag stop along the tracks somewhere. It was used for merchants and the meager number of locals that lived in the desert. It was not a real station, but had facilities for refueling the steam locomotives, including a water tank. If Trixie’s calculations were correct, she should be able to make the journey without trouble.

The loose sand had long ago rendered the skateboard useless and she slung it on her back with the M60. Trixie continued to plod along, careful not to spill the water she carried. The constant—though small—amount of magic she used was beginning to worry her slightly. For a while, Trixie traded off by carrying the inverted hat in her mouth.

She’d taken her medication earlier in the day and was thinking perhaps that another pill might be a good idea. Zecora hadn’t said if the dosage should be proportional to the amount of radioactive magic used, but Trixie was sure that more wouldn’t hurt her. It would cut into her dwindling supply, however.

Trixie had just about convinced herself to pop a pill, when she spotted something shiny in the distance. It was difficult to make out, but was on her intended path, so she kept walking forward. A few minutes passed. It looked like some sort of vehicle.

With a start, Trixie realized that it was the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. She couldn’t fathom what in the world it was doing out here. After checking her machine gun, Trixie cautiously advanced.

The Flim Flam Brothers were resting in the shade of their machine, looking disheveled and anxious. They both glanced up when Trixie came into view. Her appearance instantly changed their mood.

The two stallions got up energetically and launched into a song that was marred by their dry, scratchy throats.

I’m Flim, he’s Flam and we’re two of a kind.

I’ve got the looks, he’s got the mind.

Could you help us out, we’re in a bit of a bind.

We’ll reward you with our efforts combined.

“What exactly would that reward be?” asked Trixie. As the two stallions grinned, she added, “And don’t say sex!”

The Brothers looked crestfallen. “We…um,” struggled Flim, his voice dry and rough.

“Uh…” added Flam, rather unhelpfully, swallowing hard in an attempt to cure his parched throat.

Trixie looked back and forth between the two of them. “Nevermind. What seems to be the trouble with your machine?”

“We have a bit of a fuel problem,” explained Flim.

“There seems be a certain quality it’s lacking,” added his brother. “Or rather, it’s the quality of being lacking in general.”

“You’re out?” asked Trixie after a moment to translate in her head.

“Well, more like we’ve simply left our supply in the last town,” explained Flam.

“Along with our monetary finances,” amended Flim.

“You’re too poor to afford it,” said Trixie flatly.

“We…er…” They hung their heads. “Yes.”

Trixie was not one for charity. In her previous life as a showmare, she had never really possessed anything she could give away. In addition, giving the Brothers money out here in the middle of the desert wouldn’t do them any good.

However, Trixie doubted even Valiant would just leave them out here to die. She sighed in resignation. “Come on. I’m headed to the next train station.”

Trixie swore the two of them almost burst into another song, but couldn’t summon their voices. She begrudgingly gave them some water. Her hat was empty before she managed to get it back.

Flim smacked his lips. “That sure hit the spot.”

“Indubitably,” replied Flam.

Trixie placed the soggy hat back on her head. She was rather cross for not getting a drink before the water disappeared, but pleased to have a nice damp hat to combat the desert heat.

The two stallions recoiled at the sight of her wearing the hat. “Trixie! What are you doing here?”

For her part, Trixie wasn’t sure if they were suffering from hallucinations that prevented them from recognizing her without the hat, or if the Flim Flam Brothers were just rather stupid. She rolled her eyes. “Clearly, I’m saving your lives.”

The Brothers glanced at each other in confusion.

“No evil magic?” asked Flam.

“No hostage taking?” inquired Flim.

“No freaky mutant tomfoolery?”

“No mare-on-mare action?”

They looked rather hopeful at that last one. Trixie gave the Brothers an impatient look. “No.”

She turned and kept walking towards the railroad. After a moment, Flim and Flam followed along.

“So, ah…” began Flim.

“You aren’t really what we expected,” finished Flam.

“Good.” Trixie kept walking. By some small miracle, the Brothers remained silent for the next few hours. The three of them eventually reached the small junction where a water tank and coaling chute were positioned. A few ponies were already there, waiting on the train.

The three new arrivals helped themselves to a drink and settled in to wait for the next train. Flim and Flam kept glancing at Trixie, but were apparently still too intimidated to speak.

Trixie mulled over the problem of Starburst for a while. Long-running grudges had kind of been Valiant’s thing, not hers. While she wasn’t nearly as murder-prone as he, Trixie made the decision that if she saw Starburst a third time, then it might be wise to start working on a plan to take the grey unicorn out of the picture.

While the Flim Flam Brothers had been slow to recognize her, Trixie wondered if they knew other ponies in the show community. Getting their attention, she asked.

“Although salesponies and magicians typically don’t interact, I do believe we’ve heard of Starburst,” commented Flam.

“Word does get around,” agreed Flim.

“Terrible presentation.”

“Horrible choice of colors.”

So they had actually met her, thought Trixie. “What else do you know about Starburst?”

“She’s kind of pushy,” recalled Flim.

“And not just in bed, added Flam.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Do you know any reason why she would want to challenge me to a magic duel?”

The two stallions traded glances. “Aren’t you the pony who Princess Luna sent to low planetary orbit after collaborating with the Crystal King and burning down parts of Ponyville, but you came back and attempted revenge by holding the entire town hostage, kicking out Twilight Sparkle, and engaging in robot combat?”

That was a surprisingly specific accusation, but it was also true. Trixie nodded.

The Flim Flam Brothers glanced at each other again. “Then we have no idea why Starburst would have a death wish about trying to fight you.”

Trixie had noticed that it didn’t really matter which one of them was speaking and had mostly stopped bothering to remember who was who.

They all sat there for a while longer before the train appeared. During that time, the Brothers put on a demonstration for everypony at the station to promote a miracle product called Snake Oil. While most of their claims for its use were bogus, Trixie discovered that it was actually an effective lubricant and bought some to oil her gun and skateboard wheel bearings. By the time the locomotive came to a stop the two stallions had collected enough money to pay for tickets.

As the train departed, Trixie got a seat as far from them as she could and drifted off to sleep as the passenger car rocked gently on the rails. Hours later, she woke up as the train began to slow down for arrival Mustangeles, a city in southern Gallopfornia.

Trixie had never been to the city before, but knew enough about it. There was such a mix of ponies living there that none of them would look twice at her purple hat and cape. She had decided to spend a day in Mustangeles before heading north for San Bransisco. The hills in the northern city would be excellent for speed skating.

Outside the train station, Trixie mounted her board and kicked off. The sidewalk was crowded, but she was able to keep up with pony-powered traffic in the street.

Down at the end of the block, the line of vehicles came to a stop at a red light. Trixie paused to have a look around. There was a billboard a little further down the street which she gave a cursory glance and suddenly snapped back to. It was a picture of Starburst. A line of text read Have you seen this pony?

Chapter 4

It did not take Trixie very long to locate a flyer with Starburst’s face on it. She pulled it down from the fence where it was stapled and took it to the local police station.

The cop sitting at the front desk gave Trixie a curious look when she came in. Trixie supposed that her appearance was rather unusual, but was glad the officer didn’t recognize her—in a good or bad way.

“I’d like to know more about this pony,” said Trixie, putting the flyer down on the cop’s desk.

“Where do you want me to begin?” he asked.

“It would help if I knew what she’s done,” answered Trixie. “Is she just a runaway from home, or some kind of criminal?”

The cop picked up the paper and studied it. “Oh, I guess this doesn’t really say. I don’t know anything about the case, so let me go get Detective Gene.”

Trixie sat down in one of the waiting room chairs. Several minutes passed, and a unicorn in a suit jacket came out. Based on his chromosome cutie mark, Trixie knew who she was talking to.

“I understand you’re looking for Starburst,” said Gene. He looked Trixie up and down, as if studying her was more interesting than talking to her. She hid her annoyance behind her sunglasses.

“I just want to know the circumstances under which she’s being sought,” Trixie told him. “I met her a few days ago, and I wanted to know if she had done something unlawful or was just a lost foal far from home.”

“Well, I’d like to tell you, but I myself don’t know.” Gene looked contemplative. “Her case is a bit of a funny thing. The report’s been passed around to so many police departments that nopony is really sure where it originated. Based on how the flyer doesn’t say why she’s wanted, maybe she’s just a runaway. Or maybe the document’s been copied so many times that the fine print is gone.” Gene shrugged.

“So what should I do if I meet her again?” asked Trixie.

“I advise you talk to the nearest police officer.” Gene smiled. “We’ll figure things out. As a government institution, if we’ve done anything related to Starburst before, there will be a paperwork trail. It might take a while to find it, but I’m sure it exists.”

This must be why Valiant was always going on about computerized records and the mysterious “inter-net.” Trixie said goodbye and left the building.

Turning to go down the street on her skateboard, Trixie glanced back through the window to see Detective Gene standing over the chair she had used, a curious expression on his face.

Trixie kept rolling. Mustangeles was a large, diverse city, and there were plenty of things to see. She wished she had a camera, but then remembered that there was nopony to show the pictures to.

Traveling alone was not really a choice, but a given. Not only didn’t Trixie have any friends from before her little meltdown—her figurative and literal meltdown—but since recuperating and changing her life, she was still too radioactive for anypony to be around for an extended period. Speaking of that, Trixie paused to take her medication.

There were not many pills left. Trixie realized she would either have to find an alchemist soon or go back to the Everfree Forest to see Zecora.

Returning to the Ponyville area was not really what Trixie wanted to do. The residents were more tolerant after seeing her around for a while, but none of them were really friendly. Maybe the Elements of Harmony would be glad for her visit, but they all had jobs and careers and could not take much time to spend with her.

Trixie frowned, thinking about the Elements. What had happened to Twilight Sparkle? After the strange events that transpired before Valiant left for the moon, Twilight had briefly been alicornized before using Valiant’s handgun to shoot somepony in the face. Trixie hadn’t seen Twilight after that and the library stood empty.

Well, it was a mystery that could wait until later. Trixie headed to a post office to find a directory, searching for an alchemist. She located a couple of probable businesses and set off to find them. The first turned out to be a native Saddle Arabian pony named al-Chemist. The next business had recently closed. The third was decorated so brightly that Trixie thought it might be a lightbulb store rather than a place for serious potions and medicines.

She walked in hesitantly. A brightly-decorated zebra was behind the counter. That was a good sign, at least. Trixie pulled out the written recipe Zecora used.

The zebra studied it and nodded. “Ya mon, we get you fixed up real nice. Sit down and take a load off.”

The accent was strange, but at least Trixie didn’t have to muddle through the rhymes like if she was dealing with Zecora.

Approximately half an hour later, the zebra came out of the back room with a steaming tray of chocolate brownies. Trixie took off her sunglasses so her surprise and dissatisfaction would be apparent. “This is not what I asked for.”

The zebra re-read the list. “Oops. Well, I promise ya dat all dem ingredients are right, at least.”

Trixie did not have perfect faith that it was true, but consented to at least try a brownie. To her astonishment, they were very tasty. “These are great! What’s your secret?”

“All kinda customers come in here lookin’ for somethin’ ta make bad medicine taste good.” The zebra waved a hoof. “I got pretty good at dat.”

Trixie had a sudden thought. “Is there anything else in here besides my medicine?”

“What ya be talkin’ about?” asked the zebra innocently. Perhaps too innocently, Trixie thought. Still, she needed her medication, and she hadn’t felt any ill effects yet. After getting the rest of the brownies bagged up, Trixie paid and left the store.

Outside, the sun was beginning to go down. Trixie decided that since she was splurging a little on the special brownies, a hotel room wasn’t out of the question. After booking one night’s stay, she sat down to clean her M60. Several days’ worth of being on the road might have marginally affected it somehow.

There was a knock at the door. With the gun disassembled, Trixie readied the switchblade she had borrowed from Valiant. Her jaw was not as large as his, and she was unable to carry it concealed in her mouth. Too bad. She could have easily irradiated any saliva-borne germs.

Trixie’s standard method of opening doors was to position her chosen weapon behind the door as she stood to the side. This set up for a surprise attack if one was needed. This time, it was Detective Gene who had come calling. “Trixie? May I have a word?”

“What is it, Detective?”

“When you were at the station earlier today, you left a tail hair behind. I hope you don’t mind, but I analyzed the DNA. I kind of like to do that sometimes; it is my special talent. I’ve always been worried about the ‘if you don’t use it, you lose it’ theory, and my regular cop work doesn’t really do it for me in the genetics field. I’m not with CSI, you see, and-”

Trixie coughed. “I’m sorry, what was this about?”

“Oh, um…” Gene shifted nervously. “After looking at your, ah, unusual genetics, I’m kind of interested to know how you aren’t dead.”

“It’s a long story, but it’s getting late tonight. Maybe I’ll tell you next time I’m in Mustangeles.”

“Er, okay. Thanks.” Gene nodded and walked away. Trixie closed the door. Great. Now the local police knew about her abnormality and had DNA evidence on file. Something about that struck her as an abuse of the law, and maybe she would hire a lawyer. That would really make things complicated. Trixie wished Valiant was there for governmental regulation advice.

Going to her window, Trixie looked down at the street below. The nighttime lighting made everything reasonably visible. To her surprise, Trixie saw Starburst walking down the street.

The grey, horribly-attired mare stopped to haggle with a merchant that was open late. Fruit, it looked like. As Trixie watched, Starburst hit the vendor and ran away with an apple.

Well, if she wasn’t a delinquent before, she was now. The law would want to punish Starburst, but if the past was any indication, they would have tough luck catching her. That could be where Trixie came in. She smiled slightly. The Great and Powerful Trixie - Bounty Hunter.

Chapter 5

Trixie stood at the top of a tall hill, chewing on a special brownie. It had been baked days before, but was still very tasty. She hadn’t detected any ill effects from them so far, and hoped that would continue.

It was unknown what might happen if she stopped taking her medication. Valiant had theorized that she might “hulk out” and return to her previous mutated form. That sounded rather unpleasant was plenty of motivation for Trixie to keep taking her meds.

From the hilltop, the city stretched out below Trixie. She’d arrived in what she thought was San Bransisco, but a local had informed her that the name was recently changed to San Franciscolt. It made more sense, Trixie had to agree. The second name sounded good.

What really sounded good was bombing down the hill as fast as her skateboard would go. Trixie finished her brownie and pushed off. The pavement was smooth, and her speed increased quickly.

The M60 made a fine balance mass, helping to keep Trixie upright as she rocketed down the hill. She edged sideways to bypass traffic, whizzing by several carriages.

Ahead, a cart rolled out into the street. Trixie’s eyes widened, knowing she wouldn’t be able to swerve around it. She coiled her legs and jumped, the skateboard passing under the cart as she went over the top.

Landing on the other side, Trixie glanced back as the skateboard continued to roll. Two surprised looking stallions stared after her.

She continued down the hill towards the seashore, rolling up a tall ramp that helped the dock workers load ships with cargo. With a little magic manipulation, Trixie bled off speed, trading it for stored energy. She then used that along with the downslope of the ramp to propel herself back up the hill at a decent clip.

Trixie dragged a hoof and came to a stop next to the Flim Flam Brothers. They still looked somewhat shaken at having nearly been run over.

“Fancy seeing you here,” commented Flim.

“Indeed,” agreed Flam.

“Why exactly did you block up the road?” asked Trixie.

“Well you see, the center of the street is the best place to get noticed,” explained Flam.

“And,” added Flim, “If you keep the public entertained, they won’t raise a fuss about violated traffic codes.”

Trixie sighed, suspecting that she would regret asking, but… “What are you selling?”

The brothers grinned and whipped a tarp off their cart to expose a machine. Small lights blinked and dials glowed with some unknown readout.

Let us introduce to you today

Let us show you a new way

I’m Flim, he’s Flam, and we’d like to say

We can keep your earthquakes at bay!

Their signature dance began in earnest.

Near to far, even San Franciscolt Bay

You can keep pesky earthquakes away

We accept bits, if you’d like to pay

Or even a nice roll in the hay!

“You really need to come up with new melodies and rhyme structures,” said Trixie flatly.

“You try composing a new ditty in every town you go,” huffed Flim.

“To say nothing of your sex addiction,” added Trixie.

“Come on, we’re on the road a lot!” complained Flam.

“And an earthquake preventer?” questioned Trixie.

The two brothers gestured to the tremor-free town around them. “It’s working, isn’t it?”

“Goodbye.” Trixie shook her head and rolled down the hill again. It secretly amused her each time she met the two showponies, as they seemed to be such lovable doofuses. Lovable as in cute, not sexy. Trixie rolled her eyes. Unlike Valiant, she had no hangups about being in relationships with ponies, but between her lifestyle and medical condition, it was pretty much not an option.

After searching out some fine rails to grind, Trixie went downtown to look for something to do. There were other streets to ride, even some with curves. Surely there was something interesting about the city.

Trixie thought about Starburst. As far as coincidences went, it was not unlikely that they would meet again. Far stranger things had happened.

As if she had been tempting fate, the very unicorn in her thoughts appeared. Trixie came to a halt, staring curiously at Starburst. Her head was turned away, but there was something unusual about her.

Starburst swung her gaze around and spotted Trixie. “Aha! I suspected I would find you here.”

She came trotting over. Trixie asked, “What’s with the face tattoo?”

“Ah, that,” said Starburst, touching the black tribal lines that decorated one cheek below her eye. “I got it to remind myself of the humiliating wound you inflicted upon me the last time we encountered each other. The scar was so terrible, and had to be covered up.”

Trixie remembered hitting her with the butt of the M60. She squinted at Starburst’s face. “I don’t see any scar. Also, I didn’t think it was that hard.”

“The bruise, then.” Starburst glared at her.

“And…you decided to cover up a bruise with a tattoo, thereby attracting even more attention to your so-called humiliation?” Trixie took her sunglasses off so Starburst could get the full effect of her what an idiot expression.

“I have poor impulse control, okay? So are we going to duel or what?” Starburst sneered defiantly.

Trixie put her sunglasses back on. “Tell you what. Let’s go to the police station and talk with them about cordoning off a secure area for us to battle where nopony else will get hurt.”

Starburst rubbed her chin. “Yes, I like that idea.”

Trixie smirked as the other mare turned to walk ahead. This was too easy.

The closest station was only a few blocks away. Trixie figured that it wouldn’t be difficult to go inside, explain who Starburst was, and get her arrested.

That plan went out the window, however, when a slight tremor went through the ground. Trixie stopped, making sure it wasn’t just an uneven strip of pavement. The quake, the earthquake, persisted.

Starburst had noticed it too. “Was that you?”

“No.” Trixie glanced up at the tall stone building nearby. It was several floors tall and had a pointed spire that rose even higher. She began to cross the street.

“Where are you going?” snapped Starburst. “Come back here!”

Trixie opened her mouth to reply, but a sudden increase in the shaking surprised her and shook the earth enough that she almost lost her balance. It also shook all the way up the towering stone building, which separated the cupola on top and sent it crashing down.

Starburst jerked sideways, being missed by the falling debris by mere inches. A small piece of stone dinked her on the back near her tail, the light impact surprising her. She jolted away, sprinting down the street.

Trixie kicked off after her, but the rest of the tower came falling down, blocking the street with chunks of building material. Several more seconds passed, and then the earthquake ceased.

Starburst had gotten away. Trixie growled in frustration, turning around to head in the other direction. She wasn’t sure which was more likely; if the Flim Flam Brothers were the victims of a hilarious irony, or if their machine had worked the exact opposite of what was intended. Either way, she was going to pay them another visit.

Chapter 6

The city was not quite destroyed, but rubble was everywhere. Trixie carefully picked her way down the streets and up the hills, searching for the Flim Flam Brothers. Everything in the city had come to a grinding halt, and there was no utility service, transportation, or businesses open.

She did eventually spot the brothers as they searched through the remains of a cart that had been smashed by falling debris. Drawing nearer, Trixie said, “That was a terrible earthquake preventer.”

“Is it our fault that we never had good testing data to determine its true effectiveness?” responded Flim.

“Earthquakes don’t come along every day, you know,” added Flam.

“And anyway, we lost as much as anypony else in this city,” muttered Flim.

Trixie looked at the smashed cart, realizing it wasn’t the one she’d seen the brothers with earlier. “That doesn’t look like your stuff. Are you stealing?”

“No, just looting,” Flam assured her.

Trixie rolled her eyes and walked away. The damaged buildings looked depressing. She knew it would be nice of her to stay and help clean up, but her dwindling supply of medicinal brownies wouldn’t let her take the time. It would require a long while to get over the hills and into Neighvada before she could even think about getting to a train station. Besides, many evacuees probably had the same thought and the trains would be nearly impossible to get a ticket for.

Instead, Trixie found her way down to the docks and begged her way aboard a freighter bound for Seaddle. It was not very far away, just up the coast. From there, it should be easy to get back to Ponyville.

The sailors seemed curious about the cloaked, skateboard-riding mare in their midst. Trixie had agreed to handle lights and signals, which her showy magic skills should be good at. She also had taken the position of security expert.

The captain scratched his head. “I don’t know how secure things are. I mean, we’re not even leaving Equestria’s territorial waters for this trip.”

That was true, Trixie had to admit. Also, hiring some random pony to be in charge of the ship’s defense seemed like a great way to actually increase the likelihood of getting robbed with an inside job. While she wasn’t interested in money, a group of naïve ponies like that might be fun to troll.

The first day of the cruise was peaceful, as they left the earthquake-damaged city of San Franciscolt behind. With the clear blue skies and perfect visibility, Trixie’s jobs of signaling and security were very easy.

She decided that she rather liked sailing. Trixie decided that she would have to ask her father about the globe-trotting adventure he’d had a while back aboard a ship. She’d heard a few details, but never got the whole picture. As she understood it, the trip had been incredibly dangerous, but also beneficial to Equestrian science, and almost beneficial to international diplomacy. Perhaps Valiant wasn’t best suited to that second category.

The sun set, and Trixie continued to keep watch. While she thought them unintelligent, she didn’t trust the sailors to keep themselves out of trouble. They just seemed like that kind of ponies.

In the later hours of the night, a ship without visible running lights approached, making a beeline for the freighter. Trixie watched it with some concern, not wanting to believe it might be pirates. Such a thing was basically unheard of in the peaceful waters of the Equestrian coast. Was it a coincidence if they were attacked while she was aboard? No matter. If it came down to it, Trixie would have to fight. She had the most capable weapon on the whole vessel.

Stepping to the rail, Trixie fired a flare of magic that soared high into the air. If it was simple laziness on the part of the other ship, they would certainly notice the signal and turn away now. That didn’t happen, however. Trixie gritted her teeth in frustration. Adding a little magic to amplify her outdoor voice, she called across the water, “Hey, you’re getting a little close to our ship, aren’t you? It would be a real shame if we had to kill you all because we thought you were pirates.”

A faint voice called back. “But we are pirates! Surrender your booty.”

Trixie facehoofed. She sighed and unfolded the bipod on the M60. Crouching low, she poked the barrel of the machine gun out between the deck railing and aimed at the approaching other ship.

The weapon rattled in her grip as she pulled the trigger, scattering brass shell casings across the deck. With short bursts of fire, she began to chip away at the thick mast of the pirate ship. Trixie could see splinters flying everywhere and the ponies on deck running for cover. After about fifty shots, the mast came tumbling down. The ship wouldn’t be going anywhere.

Trixie poured the rest of the ammo in the belt into the hull near the waterline and reloaded, firing the next hundred rounds into the same place. Water began to pour in, and the pirate ship was clearly going down. The shore was not too far away, but difficult to make out during the night. When the sun came up, the pirates should at least know which direction to swim.

The M60’s barrel steamed with heat as Trixie set it aside to cool. She had expended all the ammunition she carried, but the portable weapon had sunk a whole ship, so it was a modest tradeoff.

“That was some mighty fine work,” said the captain, approaching.

“Thank you.” Trixie smiled. It was nice to be appreciated.

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to eat your brain now.”

Trixie stared at him. “What.” It wasn’t a question, more of a flat statement of incredulity.

The pony shrugged. “Yeah, I kind of forgot to tell you that we’re a cult; all of us crewing this ship. I mean, why else would we just take aboard a random stranger? Anyway, by consuming what makes you so awesome, we can be awesome too.”

“I don’t think awesomeness works that way,” said Trixie, taking a step backwards. She made a mental note to ask Valiant about it later, but perhaps Rainbow Dash’s opinion might work in the meantime for a partial answer.

Trixie wondered what Rainbow was up to lately. Hadn’t that one stallion knocked her up? Heh, Rainbow as a mother. That would be funny, but also kind of irresponsible.

Shaking her head, Trixie got back on track. She noticed a few of the other crew members gathering around, including the pony who was supposed to be steering the ship. They were forming a semicircle, pinning her against the deck railing.

“Well, if that’s not how awesomeness works, then how does it actually?” asked the captain, drawing a rather large knife. All around, standing here and there on the deck, the other sailors pulled out blades of their own.

Trixie popped open her switchblade. “Come here and I’ll show you.”

Her skateboard and the still-hot but out-of-ammo M60 were nearby but with the close quarters, Trixie anticipated this was probably going to be a straight up knife fight. She turned out to be correct.

Author's Note

Rainbow Dash gets knocked up - coming soon.

Chapter 7

The Cult of Awesome slowly closed in around Trixie. Despite the dark night, it was easy to see that each adversary pony brandished some kind of knife. They were slowly encircling her.

Trixie picked up the M60. The ship’s captain looked thoughtful. “You’re out of firepower. I mean, if you had any left, you would have used it on us already, right?”

That was true, but the machine gun still had some use. With a sticky charm, Trixie bonded her switchblade to the end of the barrel, forming a makeshift bayonet. She completed the spell just in time for the first attacker to try his luck.

The long arc of the slash was easier to accomplish with the whole gun for her magic to hold onto, and the extra weight helped with force. The blade cut the attacker pretty badly. He yelped and stumbled backwards.

Trixie whipped her weapon in the other direction to counter another pony coming from her other side. This was just a straight thrust, and Trixie tried to line it up with the shoulder joint of the leg that was holding the knife. Stabbed, this pony also retreated from battle.

Then the whole cult decided that maybe an overwhelming attack would work better. As the entire group rushed forwards, Trixie slammed her knife blade into the deck, standing the machine gun up like a post. Leaping to the top of the buttstock, she then jumped higher towards the sail rigging and caught a rope with her teeth. Swinging towards the rear of the ship, Trixie was able to kick one pony in the face with a back hoof.

Her momentum carried Trixie over the mass of cultists and up to the steering deck at the back of the ship. She knew where the shoreline was supposed to be, even if it was hidden by the darkness of night. Swinging the wheel around, Trixie pointed the ship in that direction. The quicker she could get back on land, the better.

The cultists began to pour up the staircases that lead to where the wheel was positioned. Trixie ran further back and swung over the stern railing of the ship, improving her hoof grip with a bit of magic. She crashed through the windows of the deck below. It turned out to be the captain’s cabin, and Trixie seized a large book of charts. Opening the door, she saw that the deck was abandoned—momentarily. She would have company soon.

Heading out the door with the book floating in front of her, Trixie tried to figure out her next course of action. Everything was decided for her as the group chasing her opened the overhead hatches and began to drop down. Trixie whacked the first few in their faces with the book. She sprinted for the other end of the deck, aiming for the ladder at the other end. A pony dropped down it just as she got there, and Trixie knocked him out of her way with a bolt of magic.

She arrived back on the main deck about where the fight had began. Trixie turned to where her skateboard and stuck gun were waiting for her. She started to tug on the M60 to get the attached blade out of the wood deck, but an attacker was running in her direction. Carefully timing her attack, Trixie stomped on the tail of her skateboard and the nose whipped up and cracked the pony under the chin.

Exerting a large amount of magic, Trixie yanked the machine gun from where it was stuck, brandishing it menacingly at the rest of the cultists who had not yet been wounded. They had all stopped dead, perhaps reconsidering their attack.

“Too awesome for you?” Trixie taunted.

“Who-who are you?” the captain stammered.

If the Flim Flam Brothers had reacted badly to learning her name, perhaps Trixie could use it to her advantage her. She smirked. “Me? Why, none other than the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“Uh, yeah, that’s kind of what I thought.” The captain did not seem to be looking at Trixie’s face. A sneaking, horrible suspicion came over Trixie, and she glanced over her shoulder.

She had eight legs, the extras sprouting from her body grotesquely. This was the twisted form Trixie had taken when initially mutated. The air around her practically glowed with radioactive magic.

Managing to hide her trepidation, Trixie swung her gaze back to the crowd in front of her. “Pick up your wounded and then lock yourselves in the brig.”

“Right away, ma’am!” The captain barked orders and the whole group of cultists sped below decks to throw themselves in jail.

When they had cleared the deck, Trixie opened her package of special brownies. This was a situation that required her to eat two—not only for the medicinal aspect, but as comfort food.

Her changed body reminded Trixie too much of the pony she’d once been. While it was true that she had improved, some of the things that had happened were hard to forget. Her freakish appearance was a hard reminder.

There was no way to tell if taking her medicine now, after the fact, would help. Trixie carefully folded her legs and lay down on deck. There was a faint hint of sunrise on the horizon and she watched as it grew, revealing the coastline only a few miles distant.

Trixie’s life had never been easy. She was long estranged from her parents; and her brother, while caring, had been in continuous trouble with the law. And then he’d disappeared completely. It was hard to admit, but Trixie thought that she might never see him again and she would never know why.

Her traveling magic show had worked for a while, but Ponyville turned out to be her undoing. Everything she thought was bad in her life had only gotten worse, not to mention her own fall into maliciousness. The crime, spitefulness, and finally intense radiation had twisted her into something inequine. It was something of a miracle that things had worked out the way they had. Trixie had been given a chance to start over.

The sun continued to warm the horizon. Hesitantly, Trixie checked herself. Only four legs remained. This was an intense reminder of the chance she had been given. She vowed not to waste it. She sighed with relief, rolling onto her back to look at the fading stars.

As the sun continued to rise, the whole sky brightened and the stars disappeared. The ship sailed into the shallow coastal waters and nudged into the sand, a gust of wind sticking it solidly aground.

Carrying her belongings, Trixie departed. A few curious ponies had turned up to look at the ship. She told them about the crazy cultists aboard and advised somepony to fetch the police.

Then, Trixie mounted her skateboard and rode away.

Author's Note

Reminder - eight-legged Trixie

More information about Trixie's brother in The Night Shift

Chapter 8

The sun was setting low in the west when Trixie rolled into Las Pegasus. The fading daylight was at her back, casting long shadows on the road ahead. Trixie pulled her hat low to shield her eyes from the glare.

The bright lights and big city was a welcome change from being on the road. Trixie’s intended destination had been Seaddle, but the adventure with a crazy cult had put a damper on that. At least Las Pegasus had a train station. Trixie was thinking about returning to Ponyville. Not only was her supply of medication running low, but she had begun to wonder if traveling was really her favorite thing to do. She’d spent enough time on the road as a showpony.

The M60 had not yet had its ammunition replenished, but Trixie decided that she could do that in the morning. She headed for a hotel, intent on getting a good night’s rest.

There were dozens of street performers plying their trades. Las Pegasus was all about show, after all. Trixie had visited before, but decided that there was too much competition to hang around. Not difficult competition, of course; even as her current level-headed and wiser self she was still confident that her skills were better.

A familiar voice caused Trixie to kickflip her skateboard into an alley and out of sight. She peeped out around the corner, spotting Starburst down the street. A small crowd had gathered around the grey unicorn, although Trixie wasn’t sure if she was entertaining them or they were gawking at her terrible cape.

Said cape fluttered in the wind, and Trixie caught sight of a tattoo on Starburst’s back. Trixie frowned. Wasn’t that where a piece of debris from the San Franciscolt earthquake hit her? The idea that Starburst was getting herself inked every time she suffered an injury attributed to Trixie was pretty amusing. Trixie resolved to hit her harder next time.

Turning to go in the opposite direction, Trixie made for the hotel. It was very troubling how Starburst kept showing up in the same places that Trixie visited, but until she actually had to face the annoying mare, Trixie decided that she would just let the issue rest.

The hotel was located next to an alchemist shop, and there were a few smelters in the area. Trixie was able to get all her bullet-making supplies of gunpowder, lead, and copper before checking in for the night. The hotel frowned on open fires in a rented room, so Trixie would have to wait for the next day and some open air before reloading her bullets.

Speaking of, the rocking of the Cult of Awesome ship had swept some of her brass casings over the side and into the sea. Given time and material, Trixie might be able to make new ones, but the best way would be to return home to Ponyville to use the tools and dies stored there.

Wait, ‘home’? Trixie had been on the road most of her life. Despite only staying in Ponyville after being taken in by Valiant, it was strange how she had come to think of the place that way.

Instead of going down that path of thought, Trixie focused on her crafting supplies. She’d managed to salvage about half the casings, just enough for one hundred-round belt. Setting that aside, she climbed into bed.

Trixie reminded herself of a few things before drifting off to sleep. One, do not let herself cross paths with Starburst in the morning. Two, do not let herself cross paths with Starburst in the morning.

Things were rather pleasant as the morning sunlight awakened Trixie. She had a nice breakfast in the hotel lobby and carefully checked the street before exiting the building. She was contemplating whether to head off into the desert to forge some ammunition or just get on the train. Ultimately, she made the choice for bullets.

Even in the early morning, the temperature was already starting to warm up. Most of the event centers in Las Pegasus were in the cooler indoors. Trixie saw some sort of seminar setting up at an outdoor arena near the edge of town. Ponies were gathering around, seeming to be excited despite the heat. Curious, Trixie stopped to have a look.

A musclebound blue minotaur strutted out onto the stage. He bellowed, “Do you have confidence issues?”

Some of the crowd answered in the affirmative.

The minotaur went on. “Do you wish for things to be better?”

Again, cries of yes were heard.

“I, Iron Will, know how you can be happy when life gets you down!” The minotaur whipped out a package of chocolate sandwich cookies with vanilla icing. “For the low price of four bits per pack, this will be your new favorite snack!”

The cookies did look tasty, Trixie thought. She watched as Iron Will smashed the package as easily as he could clap his powerful hands. Small bits of cookie flew everywhere. The crowd happily gobbled whatever landed near them.

“When your life is kooky, have a nice fresh cookie!” Iron will began trading packages of the confections for money. His goat assistants helped out, selling cookies to more clamoring ponies.

One stallion at the edge of the crowd looked hesitant. Iron Will eyed him. “Want some cookies?”

The pony looked conflicted. “Well, I’m on a diet, so maybe—”

“Maybes are for babies!” roared Iron will, hurling a package of cookies at the stallion’s face.

While some cookies would be nice, Trixie decided that she had better things to do. Also, the special brownies she had were still reasonably tasty. Trixie was just turning away when a female voice shouted, “Iron Will! I challenge you to a duel!”

Trixie’s eyes snapped back to the stage. Starburst was facing down Iron Will, a fierce expression on her face.

The minotaur looked confused. “Uh, can Iron Will get back to you on that? This week’s schedule is kind of full; that’s no bull.” He chuckled.

“This can’t wait!” insisted Starburst. “If I win, I claim all your show territory and fanbase!” It was the same stipulation that Starburst had attempted to use on Trixie, she realized.

“Uh, this was actually Iron Will’s last cookie seminar,” said the minotaur, scratching his head. “Good business, but Iron Will is more suited to self-help than sales.”

“I’m not going to let you off easy!” Starburst stepped forward and began to prepare a spell.

Trixie closed her eyes and heaved a deep sigh. She then rolled forward through the crowd. “Hey Starburst.”

The grey mare turned her head, looking at Trixie in surprise. “You! Do you know what I’ve gone through to track you down?”

She swept her cape back, revealing a tattoo slightly above the base of her tail. It was something Valiant would call a tramp stamp. The design did not at all complement her face tattoo. “And this! You will rue the day you caused me to get another tattoo, Trixie!”

“Wait, Trixie?” broke in Iron Will.

Trixie nodded, and then pointed to Starburst. “Yeah, this idiot has been following me around with the idea that if she defeats me in a duel she’ll get all my prestige and audience.”

Iron Will snorted. “Amateur. How could an intangible concept like that be won or lost in a simple contest? You can’t declare an idea as a prize. Only deal in physical things you can touch; other stuff, not so much.”

“I know, right?” agreed Trixie. She and the minotaur stared at Starburst with contempt. Trixie wondered for a moment if Starburst had also made the same challenge of a duel to the Flim Flam Brothers.

Starburst sneered and began to walk forward. “I can see you think nothing of my methods. But who will be laughing when the all the show biz in Equestria belongs to me?”

She punctuated her monologue with an attempt at a sinister laugh. “Now let’s battle!”

Iron Will crossed his arms. “No means no.”

“Not to me!” retorted Starburst. “I demand satisfaction!”

Shrugging, Iron will backhanded her across the face so hard that the grey unicorn went flying off the stage. The minotaur paused, thoughtfully putting his fist to his chin. “Wait, as the issuer of the duel, maybe she was the one who was supposed to do the slapping .”

“I don’t think it matters now,” Trixie assured him. She pulled out her money bag. “Four bits, right?”

Author's Note

Iron Will has been added to the story character tags.

Chapter 10

As stated by the last line of the previous chapter, Stabby Hooves was not happy. Trixie had come to the Appleloosa prison to give her testimony of the train robbery and saw his state of unhappiness for herself. Still, she did not care too much. He was criminal scum, after all.

That description sounded a bit harsh in her mind, and Trixie made a mental note to come up with better descriptors for ponies she disliked. After all, she had supposedly put pettiness behind her. She was arguably even more Great and Powerful than before, but also quite a bit more humble and sane.

Trixie frowned at that idea. It seemed almost unhumble to have thoughts about herself like that. Still, the fact that she recognized the edge of humility was comforting. She didn’t used to.

When beckoned to come forward, Trixie gave her statement to the sheriff’s clerk. The testimony would be taken down for Stabby Hooves’ trial. With a name like that, Trixie wondered if he was related to Derpy, back in Ponyville.

Her job done, Trixie left the Appleloosa sheriff’s office and stood in the dusty street for a moment. The town was slowly being rebuilt after the buffalo had overrun it. Trixie remembered that Applejack’s cousin Braeburn had lived in the town and been severely injured in the massacre.

The buildings were being repaired and the displaced residents had started to return. Trixie was not aware of any treaty that had been reached to get the buffalo to leave. Maybe there wasn’t one, or maybe something else had happened.

That was a mystery for another time. Trixie took the opportunity to build a fire and finally reload some of her ammunition.

It was rather peaceful, sitting next to her campfire. The weather ponies didn’t usually get out to this part of the desert, but the natural weather was being fortunately cooperative. After casting and jacketing some bullets, and loading them into the casings with powder, Trixie had finished her loadout. Sliding the finished cartridges back in their belt, she secured the M60 on its strap around her shoulder and headed for the station. The next train would be coming in a short while.

After spending just a short time waiting at the station, the train pulled in and Trixie boarded. It did not take her long to deduce that she would be sharing it with Flim and Flam, a situation that none of the three of them were quite pleased with.

“I’ll buy a little more of that oil,” Trixie told them, her supply of the lubrication she had used on the machine gun running low, “but take the rest of your things somewhere else.”

Flim and Flam agreed and moved away from her. The last Trixie heard, they were trying to sell something to help a mare sleep.

Hey there pony, whatcha gonna do?

The train’s so noisy, too loud for you.

I’m Flim, he’s Flam; we’ve got something new.

A product to quiet that cacophonous spew!

To use it, here’s what you have to do:

Stick the plug in your ear; how is up to you.

Our payment plan is bits; shiny and new.

Or we can hit you with our studly spew!

Their songs were getting progressively worse and more sexually desperate, Trixie noted. Then again, maybe bad music would actually help the sales of earplugs.

The train departed the Appleloosa station. There were a couple of stops to go, but Trixie’s ticket was for Ponyville. She’d only been gone for a couple of weeks, but it would be nice to see the place again. Despite being on the road for long periods as a magician, it was a comforting feeling to have a place to return to.

Of course, Valiant wouldn’t be there. Trixie probably would have heard about his arrival back in Equestria or seen the fiery trail of rocket in the sky as it returned. She wondered how long he planned to spend in outer space.

Trixie leaned back and pulled her hat down. The Flim Flam Brothers went into the next car and the gentle rocking of the train on the rails soon lulled Trixie to sleep.

Author's Note

I apologize for the short, late chapter. It'll be better next week, I promise.

Chapter 11

The morning train huffed its way into the Ponyville station and sat steaming quietly while the passengers departed. Trixie did a rail grind down the exit stairway to the station platform and paused, looking around. In the few weeks since she’d left, it didn’t look like Ponyville had changed much.

Pushing off again, Trixie rolled down the street towards the library. The tree building was shuttered and dark. Peeping through the window, Trixie discovered that it was also suspiciously uncluttered. Apparently nopony had been inside for a while.

Trixie reached out to the lock on the door with a bit of magic, trying to decide which method she should use to pick it. A small low-powered charm had been placed on the deadbolt, however, and it sprang open in recognition of her magical signature. Twilight must have anticipated Trixie would arrive.

Going through the door, Trixie took a look around. There was a thin layer of dust in the still library, although without anypony being there to stir it periodically, the dust was lighter than it could have been.

This building was where Trixie had spent a few months growing up again after being hit with the age spell. She had lived with Valiant as a father and Twilight as a roommate. While the library seemed to be dark and empty, it was still the closest thing Trixie had to a home. She set down her things. It was good to be back.

She checked the kitchen. The refrigerator was unplugged and it was empty anyway. Trixie looked for other food and found none. It seemed that Twilight and Spike had moved out.

Trixie shook off her cape and hat, leaving the library with just her skateboard. The weather was pleasant enough, and ponies here knew her.

She spotted Rainbow Dash coming down the street. The usually-speedy pegasus looked lightly bloated. Trixie remembered that she was pregnant. Guinness, an immigrant from Earth like Valiant, had knocked her up. Trixie thought that the conception had only happened a few weeks before, but Rainbow looked further along than that.

Shrugging it off, Trixie stopped to speak with Rainbow. “I just got back to town. Where are Twilight and Spike?”

Rainbow did not regard her with a particularly friendly expression. Granted, there were a few decent reasons for that, but Trixie knew it was mostly because Rainbow was a bitch.

“They moved back to Canterlot,” said Rainbow. “Princess Celestia wanted Twilight to undergo Princess Training.”

Trixie frowned. “Wait, didn’t Twilight’s wings disappear after she killed one of the creators of this universe? I knew she wasn’t happy about the prospect that she would have to leave her friends here in Ponyville.”

Rainbow shrugged. “I try not to think too much about how this whole world might be just a figment of an imagination somewhere.”

To be fair, neither did Trixie. She was aware that several ponies with immense powers had shown up to corroborate Valiant’s story about being from another universe. Based on their story, Equestria had started out as an idea of a virtual reality world and gotten out of control until all the residents actually had minds of their own. While it was somewhat humbling to realize that she didn’t used to be real, Trixie also was slightly proud to have overthrown her creators.

Continuing on, Trixie met Pinkie and Fluttershy on the street. The two of them were in lip lock, with Pinkie passionately taking the lead. Fluttershy looked bored, with just a touch of embarrassment. Trixie was proud of her, as this was a vast improvement on Fluttershy’s old tolerance of public displays of affection. Glancing around, apparently all of Ponyville had, too. None of the residents paid the two mares much mind.

Trixie rolled by behind Pinkie’s back and traded waves with Fluttershy. Pinkie did not appear to notice. Oh well, she would find out eventually that Trixie was back and then there would be a party.

The coffee shop was closer than the grocery store, and Trixie had the urge to hang out with a few ponies she was familiar with. She could stock up on food on the way back to the library.

Opening the door, Trixie was greeted with a few townsponies enjoying the morning with a cup of joe or some snacks. The small stage was occupied with a few band instruments instead of the usual live-reading poets. Some music would definitely be an improvement over amateur poetry, Trixie thought. The band was currently taking a break, however.

She saw Guinness, a lanky blue pegasus, sitting at a table with a rough-looking griffon. The two of them were talking about something. Trixie walked over, hoping Guinness might have heard from her father.

The stallion looked up as she approached. “Hey Trixie, long time no see.” He introduced her to the griffon, who was named Squibles. Trixie thought he resembled a pirate.

“He is my business partner,” Guinness explained. “We are opening an authentic Irish pub right here in Ponyville. Of course, Squibles doesn’t really know what that means, but I’ve got plenty of experience for the both of us.”

“I don’t know what Irish means either,” said Trixie.

Guinness nodded. “Yes, I suppose not. Valiant only drinks tequila.”

Trixie thought for a moment. “What does Rainbow think? How is this going to affect your foal?”

“Well, I have to do something for money.” Guinness shrugged. “I prefer beer to hard liquor, and that shouldn’t be too hard to brew. Squibles was going to handle the meat for non-ponies, and I am working on a variety of products that imitate the same taste but for vegetarians.”

Trixie nodded. “It sounds like you have a good plan.”

“One thing,” Guinness lamented. “I was looking for a house band. That is why I came here today to scope out local talent.”

He gestured to the stage, which was still unoccupied. Trixie thought for a moment. “Maybe I can help.”

She walked over to the stage at sat down at the drum set. The crowd in the coffee shop noticed and started to pay attention. Trixie brushed her mane back with a hoof and flashed a grin. With her magic, the drumsticks jumped to life.

The resulting eight-minute drum solo had every pony within earshot transfixed. Trixie had been in the school band when she attended Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, but hadn’t liked it much because the percussion section was well in the back and kept her out of view. That didn’t mean she never tried to get noticed, however.

The audience broke into applause as Trixie stepped off the stage after her performance. A brief thought about how good she could have played with eight legs flashed through her mind, but she suppressed it with a smile. The band pony who owned the drum set looked as if he’d just been gelded and his band mates were studiously ignoring him.

Guinness looked happily stunned, but his mood did not last. Checking the clock on the wall, he announced that he had to go but invited Trixie to walk with him. Trixie preferred to roll on her skateboard, but the long-legged Guinness kept up a brisk pace anyway.

“If you want, I can easily see you in the tavern band,” Guinness told her.

“I thought it was a pub?”

He shrugged. “Whatever. My mind’s been somewhere else lately. Hang on, I have to buy something.”

Guinness ducked into a jewelry shop. Trixie waited patiently outside, looking in through the windows to see Guinness being offered a few rings by the jeweler. He selected one and paid for it, emerging from the shop with a grin on his face.

It looked like a wedding horn ring to Trixie, but Rainbow wasn’t a unicorn. Pegasi had different courting rituals, but how could Guinness – a pegasus – not know that? She decided the ring must be for something else.

“I’ll be going off to the hospital now,” said Guinness. “I was going to meet Rainbow for her first ultrasound.”

Trixie nodded to him. “Have a good time.”

As Guinness left, Trixie considered her own love life. Or rather, the fact that she didn’t have one. Since the radiation, she had been afraid get too close to anypony. Well, even before that, only a few ponies could stand her attitude enough to get close to her. In contrast, Valiant was strictly celibate because he wasn’t technically a pony, however that didn’t seem to stop Guinness.

Trixie looked up as three fillies in a bipedal robot came down the street. From the cockpit, Apple Bloom called, “Hey Trixie! We need your help!”

“What do you need?” she responded.

“Uh, well, it’s about show biz,” said Sweetie Belle as the robot came to a stop.

“And we were trying to get cutie marks for that,” added Scootaloo.

“I know you’ve tried quite a few things like that before,” said Trixie.

The Crusaders nodded in unison. Apple Bloom explained, “But there’s a problem.”

“We can’t try anything new now because there’s this unicorn that just showed up in town and says that all the show biz belongs to her,” complained Sweetie.

“She says her name is Starburst or something.” Scootaloo shrugged.

Trixie stepped onto her board. “Come with me, girls. Maybe you can get cutie marks for watching beatdowns.”

The fillies cheered.

Chapter 12

The news that Starburst was in town did not sit well with Trixie. The Crusaders wanted her to join them in the town square, but she paused at the library to take the last dose of her medicine. Trixie would have to see Zecora soon to get more.

Looking around the library, she considered the things that she owned and ultimately decided not to take any of them. Starburst did not seem to be that big of a threat despite her persistence. In addition, Trixie decided that bringing a machine gun to a crowded city square was probably not safe.

Fortified with anti-radiation drugs and unarmed except for her own magic, Trixie might not have been as prepared as possible. Maybe being in Ponyville made her overconfident. Trixie shook her head. As long as she recognized the problems she was about to face and if Starburst was as nuts as before, everything would be fine.

Going with the Crusaders to the square, Trixie found Starburst positioned in front of the town hall. It looked as if she was trying to sell cookies, but most potential customers were turned away by her harsh attitude and failure to grasp basic necessities of showmareship. It was more about technique than brute force. Of course a screwup amateur like Starburst wouldn’t know that.

That didn’t appear to phase the grey mare, however. The pink and orange cloak she wore must have contributed to a lot of extra warmth, as her multicolored mane was slicked with sweat while she enthusiastically screamed at local ponies to buy cookies. There was now a tattoo on the other side of her face where Iron Will had slapped her. It did not match the one that she had gotten previously.

Starburst heard the robot the three fillies piloted and swung her eyes in that direction, her gaze landing on Trixie first. “Aha! I knew you’d show up!”

“I live here,” Trixie deadpanned. “What’s your excuse?”

Starburst started to answer but Trixie interrupted her. “And don’t start off with this idea of claiming show biz territory. I told you that you could have it because I’m out of the game now, so you’re either crazy or after something else.”

“Well,” Starburst sniffed. “Somepony got up on the wrong side of the haystack this morning.”

Trixie took a step forward. “You’ve been following me all around the country and possibly perpetrated several crimes just because you wanted something from me that all you had to do was take. If that sounds complicated, it’s because it is. You made it that way.”

“Well, we can still end this here and now.” Starburst took a little bit wider stance. “Let’s have a magic duel.”

Most of the townsponies screamed and ran. Starburst looked around, confused. Trixie set her jaw with irritation. The last thing she needed was to tarnish the image she had rebuilt after the age spells. Still, if it would get Starburst to leave her alone.

The two mares faced each other across the empty town square. The wind begin to blow, scattering a few tumbleweeds across their path. Trixie wondered why the Crusaders were working with those, especially so near where a magic battle was about to take place, but dismissed it as unimportant.

Starburst’s horn began to glow. Trixie began to charge her magic as well. She wasn’t yet sure how she would handle the situation. Just blowing Starburst away would be satisfying, but Trixie wasn’t sure that would be best for everypony. The town janitor might not like cleaning up bits of pony from the street. Alternately, Trixie could lose the duel on purpose and send Starburst on her way. Hopefully that would work, too.

“One more thing!” called Starburst. “After I win, you are going to tell me where I can find the—”

CRASH! A large flaming cylinder of metal fell into the street between them. The paint on the exterior was beginning to burn away, but Trixie saw familiar markings. This booster rocket property of Valiantco® Industries.

It was a piece of the rocket Valiant had taken off in. Trixie was so surprised that several seconds passed before she realized that Starburst was nowhere to be seen. The other mare must have been scared away by a large piece of space junk slamming down in the street.

Trixie shrugged. Well, if her disappearance put off the whole magic duel thing for a few more days, that was fine. Actually, the mere mention of “magic duel” had effectively cleared the street so nopony was crushed by the old booster. Casting a bubble around the debris to block air, Trixie smothered the flames. Slowly, the residents of Ponyville began to reemerge from wherever they had hidden.

Guinness appeared, staring with wonder at the partial rocket. “Whoa, is this part of Valiant’s spacecraft? I can’t think of anything else in Equestria it could be.”

Trixie confirmed his question with a nod. “As far as I understand orbital mechanics, this must have been in space for a while before falling back through the atmosphere. Earth, where this was designed, has different gravity and planet structure due to the fact that the sun and moon actually have to move on their own. That’s why this thing didn’t burn up completely on reentry.”

Guinness shrugged as if he mostly but not completely understood. Then he frowned. “Wait, didn’t Valiant leave a couple of weeks ago? How long did he plan to be gone? Did he take that many supplies?”

Trixie had considered such an idea before, but refused to think about it in terms like that. She shrugged and turned back to the booster, intending to get it out of the street. It was still warm and even empty of fuel it was quite heavy, but she managed to lift it with magic and carry it slowly back to the yard beside the library.

While she walked, Trixie considered Starburst’s words. Had the supposedly up-and-coming showmare wanted something else? The crash of the rocket reentry had cut off her sentence. Well, whatever it was, Trixie resigned herself that Starburst would eventually find her again. Hopefully in a nice quiet place outside Ponyville. When Trixie was in a bad mood. And fully armed.

At least all the cookies Starburst had been trying to sell were left behind.

Chapter 13

Trixie lounged in the library, checking over a few books and munching on cookies. It was nice to relax back at home after being on the road. Her little trip had not been very calm at all.

Still, not even Starburst was around at the moment, so that was something. Trixie yawned and checked the time. It was the early afternoon, and now might be a good time to visit Zecora and stock up on medicine.

She went out the door and got onto her skateboard. She saw a few ponies about. Most of them shied away from her because of residual bad memories from the two times Trixie had almost gotten Ponyville destroyed. Some merely didn’t want to get run over by the skateboard. Only a few knew about her radiological issues, and not even all of them understood the implications.

Despite all that, nopony screamed and ran. Ponyville was not perfect but was still perhaps the nicest, most accepting town in all of Equestria. Trixie felt lucky to live there.

She encountered Rarity on her way down the street. Trixie stopped to chat a bit. Rarity pulled a long cloak out of her saddlebags and wrapped it around herself. They cloth looked very heavy, and Trixie suspected that it might be lined with lead. She took a few steps backwards to give Rarity some space.

The other mare’s expression softened at the gesture. She may have known that being around Trixie posed a health risk, but that didn’t stop her from being sociable. “Good afternoon, Trixie.”

“Hi Rarity. I was just on my way to Zecora’s.”

Rarity nodded. Her eyes shifted away from Trixie’s face. At first, it appeared that she might be sizing up her rump, but Trixie realized that Rarity was merely taking her measurements visually. It was something that Rarity just did.

Not that Trixie would have minded being sized up. She did not prefer mares, but as solitude because of her condition wore on, she had become a bit less picky.

“You know, dear, I was thinking,” Rarity began. “What if I were to get you some sort of shielding garment?”

Trixie blinked. “Shielding from what?”

“Why, it just seems more efficient to keep the nasty radiation contained under lead lining rather than having everypony else wear protected cloaks.”

That did make sense. Hmm. Maybe a lead cloak would also offer some armor-like qualities. Trixie smiled. “That would be great, thank you. I would pay you.”

Rarity waved a hoof. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I would be doing it as a public service. No offense to you, of course.”

Trixie nodded. She couldn’t help that her body was basically a health hazard.

Rarity’s eyes looked around before going back to Trixie. “While I’m here, can I tell you a secret?”

“I suppose.” Trixie’s ears pricked forward.

“I also want to limit the number of lead cloaks because of supply and demand. The fewer ponies who have them, the more ponies will want them. If I only make the one cloak for you, I’ll be swamped in business. I must admit, it’s a rather evil plan, but as the Element of Generosity, I don’t see why I can’t also inspire other ponies to be generous. With their wallets.”

Trixie blinked. “Okay…why are you telling me this?”

Rarity looked taken aback. “What…you don’t keep secrets like your father?”

“He did what?”

Rarity shook her head. “Good thing I’m not the Element of Honesty. Okay, let me tell you what he was up to. Valiant was secret keeper for a number of ponies in town. While I never claimed to understand his psychotic morals or motivations, he always refused to break a promise. If you told him something in confidence, you could count on him never to reveal it.”

Trixie thought about it. Yes, she did remember something like that. And Rarity was right—Valiant was not a perfect, or even good, pony, but he refused to break ironclad promises. There was something admirable about that, even if she wasn’t sure what it was.

“What secret did he keep for you, Rarity?” Trixie asked.

The white mare grumbled. “Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter now. Back when I first became a vampire, he was the first to know. I got better, but apparently Valiant still hasn’t told, not even you.”

Trixie shrugged. “Well, I did know I little bit about that. Twilight told me, as she was sort of the coordinator for the local vampire population. I know Valiant was one for a little while, just like you. Was there anypony else?”

Rarity nodded. “Cheerilee. Valiant accidentally turned her but then for some reason couldn’t reverse it.”

That was a shocker. Trixie had noticed something strange about the local schoolteacher, but assumed it was just because she disliked Valiant. As it turned out, that was correct, but not the root of the problem.

Trixie bid Rarity goodbye and rolled away. It was slightly difficult to keep her mind on the road with so much new information.

She approached Sweet Apple Acres. Trixie had tried to avoid the farm ever since Granny Smith had died of supercancer. It may or may not have been the radiation from Trixie that caused such a disease to manifest.

Big Macintosh was standing near the fence when Trixie came by. Mac looked at her a little more intently than usual, which for the stoic stallion may as well have been a shout. Trixie stopped. “Hello, Big Macintosh.”

Mac nodded in greeting. “You keepin’ secrets now that Valiant’s gone?”

“You make it sound like he isn’t coming back,” Trixie huffed.

Shrugging, the red stallion spoke again. “Well, if that’s true, then I guess I need a new pony to tell my secret. I’m a werewolf, Trixie.”

Trixie threw up her hooves. “Did you have to tell somepony that? Have to tell me? Now I’ll be compelled to remember that juicy bit of information but never tell. I could have been happier not knowing!”

Mac looked slightly disappointed but said nothing. That slight look was still akin to a major-league case of puppy dog eyes and Trixie sighed. “All right, fine.”

She left before she could get in any deeper. Also, it kept her from contemplating the information too much. Vampires, werewolves, what next? This trip back home to Ponyville was becoming more stressful all the time. She had no idea that Valiant’s apparent disappearance would leave such a large gap in the lives of Ponyville residents. Trixie might have to leave town again before any other ponies tried to get her in confidence for their secrets.

“Trixie, so nice of you to come,” said Zecora when Trixie arrived at her hut. “I must tell you a secret. I have a sore on my bum.”

Trixie gave her a look. Zecora chuckled nervously. “Of course, it matters not to you. Here, try this medicine. It’s something new.”

The zebra gave her some pills. They looked similar to the ones Trixie had been taking. She examined the capsules. “What’s new about them?”

“It’s experimental and new. I have only a vague idea of what it will do.”

“But it will stop me from turning into a monster as long as I keep taking them?” Trixie asked.

Zecora nodded. “Of course it will. That is the main function of each little pill.”

“But what are the side effects?” That seemed like an important thing to know.

“If we are lucky in this medicine I have produced, then each pill should cause your emitted radiation to be reduced.”

“Really? This is fantastic news!” Trixie automatically moved forward to hug Zecora.

“I do hope it works. That’s what I was trying to do, you see.” Zecora smiled awkwardly. “But could you please step away from me?”

“Oh, sorry.” Trixie retreated. “I guess I should start taking these pills first.”

“Here, take this plant and place it by your bed.” Zecora showed her a small plant in a pot. “You will know you are cured if after a week of exposure the plant isn’t dead.”

Trixie nodded. “I’ll do that. Thanks a lot, Zecora.”

It seemed only right to give the zebra some money for her trouble. Trixie rolled away and out of the Everfree Forest feeling good. Her mood was tempered slightly by the sight of the Flim Flam Brothers coming up the road, but it had been a while since they had come to Ponyville. It looked like they had learned from the cider incident and were merely sticking to selling small items this time. Trixie wondered how long they would be staying.

Author's Note

I hate writing dialogue for Zecora.

Chapter 14

The Flim Flam Brothers spotted Trixie and nodded to her in greeting. She fell in place beside them and the three traveled together back to Ponyville, Trixie doing slow kicks on her skateboard.

They went on in silence for a while. The brothers pulled their cart and seemed to be contemplating something. Knowing them, Trixie thought, it was probably the best way to either scam the townsponies out of money or the best way to sleep with some mares.

Trixie carried the small potted plant Zecora had given her. Even clutched close to her body the little plant didn’t seem to be affected. Trixie hoped that her background body radiation actually would decrease. Zecora was really good at her medicinal mixtures.

“You know something about interdimensional travel, right?” asked one of the brothers.

“Hmm?” Trixie looked up. “Yes, I suppose so.”

She suddenly had an uneasy feeling. Nothing good could come from the Flim Flam Brothers inquiring about that particular subject.

“Well you see, it’s like this,” began Flim.

“We were recently contacted by a few ponies who had a special offer for us,” added Flam.

“They called themselves the Shim Sham Sisters.”

“Rather clever, if you ask me.”

“Indeed.”

Trixie nodded patiently. “And this relates to other dimensions how?”

“That’s where they claimed to be from.”

Reviewing what she knew about interdimensional travel and the strange, magical rock that had caused Valiant to be transported to Equestria in the first place, Trixie decided that they were probably dealing with another, alternate version of this universe. The suspiciously-named Shim Sham Sisters were a big indicator of this.

The two salesponies looked at Trixie expectantly, awaiting her opinion. She sighed. “This explanation is going to be complicated and strange, but those mares you were talking to were probably actually you, just with an alternate gender and from a different world. While you might be able to pass communication through the multiverse, it’s difficult to arrange an actual meeting due to the law of redundancy and displacement from one world to another.”

“I’m sorry, what?” asked Flam.

“My thoughts exactly,” echoed Flim.

“Two of the same pony can’t be in the same plane of existence at the same time. If you travel to their world, while you’re there you become them so you can’t actually meet them.”

The two brothers nodded. “It’s probably for the best, although I wonder, Flim.”

“What’s that, Flam?”

“Would having sex with yourself be incest or masturbation?”

“You’re twins,” Trixie put in. “Does that change anything?”

Both of them made faces and chorused, “But we’re straight!”

Flim thought for a moment. “However, if we were both girls...”

“...that would change the hotness of it considerably,” finished Flam. He and his brother both grinned. Trixie rolled her eyes and did not reply.

The three of them entered Ponyville. The two brothers started to set up their cart for sales. Trixie went to put away her potted plant. She thought about the magic rock, wondering where it had gone. It had been in Twilight’s possession but now she was no longer in Ponyville.

Trixie went back outside. The Flim Flam Brothers seemed to have finished setting up their cart and were beginning to draw some attention from the town. They opened a box and pulled out a bundle of electronics that were wrapped around an ugly chunk of basalt.

Trixie’s eyes widened. It was the rock. She started walking forward and had almost reached the brothers when a flash of light enveloped the three of them.

Trixie blinked, looking around. Most of the town looked the same. Standing in front of her were two unicorn mares. They both looked rather surprised.

“Well, er, I think I understand what you were saying earlier,” one of them said to Trixie. “This is not our universe anymore.”

“You might be right,” Trixie replied, only mildly surprised to hear words coming out that were in a deeper tone of voice than normal.

“We might as well make the best of it,” observed the other mare.

A thought came to Trixie. She -or rather, he- grinned. This wasn’t their universe, so regardless of the effectiveness of the radiation drugs there would be no guilt about temporarily exposing somepony else. “Would you two like to come back to my place?”

Source

Chapter 15

The sex was a great stress reliever. Trixie honestly couldn’t remember how long it had been for her, and with the big deal the Flim Flam Brothers (sisters?) made about it, the gap for them had probably been quite a while, too. The added discovery of an alternate perspective added to the novelty.

Trixie relaxed in bed, feeling more content than she - well, he - had in ages. This was turning into a rather interesting vacation. Still, he knew he would have to return at some point. Trixie did not want to be a guy forever. The other two had fallen into a quiet sleep, wearing smiles on their faces.

The library’s front door opened. Trixie heard the sound of hooves on the stairs coming up to the bedroom. There was no way to tell who it was, and nowhere to hide if it turned out to be somepony Trixie didn’t want to see. Well, most of presentation was about attitude. He put on his best brazen show smile and waited.

The mare that appeared at the top of the stairs was orange with an untidy black mane. She stopped short, surprised to see the three ponies in bed. “Trixie, why did you bring them here?”

Trixie could only stare. “Dad? Er, I mean, mom?”

Valiant paused for a moment. After what looked like several mental calculations, she facehoofed. “Oh dear Lord, you’re from the other universe, aren’t you?”

“Yes, actually,” Trixie replied. “But why are you here? I thought you were still on the moon.”

“The moon?” Valiant shook her head. “What did that idiot alternate version of myself do this time?”

“He built something called a Saturn V and took off,” Trixie replied. “He hasn’t come back yet.”

Valiant considered that for a moment before gesturing for Trixie to get out of bed. “Come with me.”

Trixie got out of bed without disturbing Flim or Flam. She followed Valiant down the stairs and out the front door. It was early evening and the sun was on its way down. The two of them stood quietly and watched.

The sun slipped below the horizon and the moon rose on the opposite side of the planet. Trixie squinted at it. Written in visible letters on the lunar surface was the message Valiant rules.

The orange mare grinned. “Princess Luna lost a bet to me and has to leave that writing up for a year.”

Trixie frowned. “So you didn’t write that yourself? You never went to space?”

“No. Why would I?”

“So you never built a rocket?”

“No.”

Trixie thought about that, trying to connect the dots and figure out the connection. Her father’s space vehicle had been constructed as a side effect of the battle with a pair of ponies called the Black Twins. He had been a little loopy at the time, but apparently the rocket worked fine. She’d watched it blast off after all. So if the female Valiant from this universe had never built the rocket... “What happened to the Black Twins?”

Valiant stared at her with a neutral expression. “I murdered them in their sleep.”

“Oh.” The complete lack of emotion in the response gave Trixie the creeps. Not only wasn’t this pony even slightly sorry or sensitive about the subject, but she wasn’t even boasting about overcoming an adversary. She just said it as simply as if it were a piece of ancient history. Trixie suddenly liked this universe a lot less.

That raised other questions, however. Knowing her father, stallion-Valiant would not have passed up the chance to deface the moon. Since that hadn’t happened, Trixie had to assume he had never landed there.

“Are you familiar with the Saturn V?” Trixie asked.

Valiant nodded. “Yeah, it’s the rocket NASA built for moon missions.”

“How much did it carry in the way of provisions?”

“They carried three people. I think the longest mission lasted twelve or thirteen days.”

Trixie didn’t know how people’s intake of food, water, and oxygen compared to ponies, but even with a simple straight-up comparison, it seemed that Valiant had between thirty six and thirty nine days available. Maybe a little more if he substituted scientific equipment for more supplies. So, Valiant could probably stay in space somewhere between one month and two months. One month had already passed.

Trixie didn’t want to ask the next question, but felt that she had to. “How reliable was the design of the rocket?”

“Generally pretty reliable.” Valiant shrugged. “Of course, it carried six million pounds of liquid rocket fuel, so if it exploded it would be the equivalent a two kiloton nuclear weapon.”

That was actually reassuring. Nopony had observed such an explosion. That still left the question of time, however. Even with generous estimates, Valiant had to be near the end of his supplies. Trixie nodded, knowing there was nothing she could do. “Thank you. I think I’ll be going home, now.”

Valiant the mare nodded. “Good.”

Her tone rubbed Trixie the wrong way. Trixie had to admit that her father was not a nice pony, but this alternate version of Valiant was just simply condescending. And clearly even more sociopathic. To be fair, Ponyville looked like it hadn’t been as molested by evil in this universe, so maybe her methods were effective. That didn’t excuse her complete bitchiness, though.

Trixie started to turn, but stopped. “Do you treat your own son like this?”

“Does it matter? You aren’t him. And I’m not your father.”

“Regardless of who my father is, he’s still a version of you. I’m just disappointed.”

Valiant shrugged. “Not my problem. Go cry to your dad - oh wait, he’s probably dead.”

After spending most of her life in her own universe as a female, Trixie had no qualms about hitting a mare.

Author's Note

Yes, late chapter. Sorry. I'll have something better next week.

Chapter 16

“Wake up. We’re going home.”

The two mares in the bed blinked and yawned, rousing themselves more slowly than Trixie would have liked. He had come back inside the library after his row with the female version of Valiant.

“So soon?” asked one of the ponies. Since mares did not grow mustaches, Trixie couldn’t tell whether it was Flim or Flam.

“Maybe go another round first?” suggested the other one with an impish smile. “I now believe your title of ‘The Great and Powerful’ more than ever before.”

Trixie had to admit that it was tempting, but shook his head. “I just want to get out of this universe.”

Grumbling, the two mares got out of bed. Trixie paused, looking around the room. “Where did you leave the device?”

“What, that ugly rock covered in electronics?” asked one of the mares.

“Yes.”

“I think it’s still out in our vendor cart,” said the other.

Trixie had the sudden sinking feeling that the two of them had just landed the three of them in deep trouble. However, after going outside to the cart they found the teleportation device undisturbed.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Trixie picked it up and prepared to take the three of them back to their own universe. Coming down the street just then, however, was a grey unicorn stallion with a multicolored mane and a starred cape.

“Is that the crazy pony who was after everypony in show business?” asked either Flim or Flam.

“Looks like it,” confirmed the other. “The name was Starburst, wasn’t it?”

Trixie weighed her options. If they went back now, they might encounter female Starburst from their own universe. If by some chance male Starburst here wasn’t so unbalanced maybe they could figure out what was going on.

“Uh, hello Trixie,” said Starburst nervously. He had stopped a few steps away. Trixie noticed that he didn’t bear the tattoos of his female counterpart.

“What do you want?” Trixie asked.

Starburst winced at the sound of Trixie’s voice, but then paused, looking mildly surprised. Had he expected to be yelled at? Did guy-Trixie from this universe have that kind of reputation? Another reason to want to go home quickly.

“Well, um, I...” Starburst began. “I wanted to know if you, um...that is, I...”

Trixie waited patiently. Starburst stumbled over a few more words before blurting, “I really like you!”

Trixie’s eyebrows went up. “Well then.”

“I just had to tell you. I couldn’t...” Starburst ducked his head. “I don’t think this was a good idea. I should go.”

“Hey wait,” Trixie called him back. Starburst paused, looking over his shoulder hopefully.

“This is going to sound strange,” said Trixie. “I’m not actually from this universe. I know that I probably look just like the Trixie you know, but I’m not actually him.”

“W-wow,” Starburst blew out a breath. “Thank Celestia. I don’t know how the real Trixie would have reacted to that. I’m so thankful it’s you instead. I would really regret this otherwise.”

Trixie took slight offense to the idea that he might not actually be the real Trixie, but let it slide. He put on a smile. “In the spirit of no regrets, are you up for a no-strings-attached roll in the hay?”

“Whaaaaat?” chorused Flim and Flam. Starburst grinned, looking only slightly disappointed that he wasn’t getting the Trixie he actually wanted.

The two mares managed to get their surprise under control. They glanced at each other and turned back to Trixie. “So, um, room for two more?”

“What do you think I am, an orgy slut?” chuckled Trixie. He paused for a moment. “You know, you could always go screw yourselves.”

A while passed before the four of them met back up at the vendor cart. Trixie, Starburst, Flim, and Flam all seemed to be in good spirits. Starburst bid the others a cheerful goodbye and they activated the device, disappearing in a flash of light.

Back in Ponyville - the normal one - the three dimensional travelers stood for a moment in silence, reflecting on the brief trip they had just taken.

“So, did everypony have fun?” asked Trixie.

The Flim Flam Brothers both nodded, but looked somewhat troubled.

“It was an enlightening experience,” allowed Flim.

“And also a terribly mortifying one,” added Flam.

“I move that we never talk about this again.”

“Seconded.”

“Motion carries,” Trixie acknowledged. “Officially, this never happened.”

That seemed to please the brothers and they left with their cart. Trixie looked at the device, deciding what to do with it so no more trouble would be caused. It would probably be safest in the care of the Princesses. Going to Canterlot would also let Trixie check up on Twilight and see if she was ever coming back to the library.

With that plan in mind, she booked a train ticket for the next day and went inside to have a nap. Trixie hadn’t gotten much sleep in the other universe.

Chapter 17

Trixie got up in the midmorning and had a light and tasty breakfast. The train to Canterlot she had tickets for would be departing soon. She took her medication and began packing up a few things to take along.

Remembering the plant that Zecora had given her, Trixie checked it, happy to find that it looked healthy. Apparently the new pills were working well to keep the radiation under control.

Trixie put on her purple cloak and hat, picking up her machine gun and getting onto her skateboard. The morning was pleasant, and she made it to the train station with plenty of time to spare.

The passenger train pulled up to the platform and Trixie boarded with the rest of the ticket-holding ponies. She found a nice window seat to sit in and closed her eyes, savoring the warm sunshine. Everything about the morning so far indicated that it would be a good day.

Drifting off to sleep, Trixie spent the trip in quiet slumber, awakening only when the train pulled into Canterlot. After a good yawn and stretch she disembarked and headed towards the castle.

Being located further up the mountain than the rest of the city, the castle was not pleasant to skateboard uphill towards. Trixie noted with satisfaction, however, that when it came time to leave she would have gravity on her side.

She eventually reached the front gates and spent several minutes trying to get the guards to let her through. “The Great and Powerful Trixie” had a bit of a reputation even in Canterlot. It eventually took a discussion with a few senior Royal Guard members to get her approved and into a meeting with the Princesses.

Celestia looked pleased to see Trixie, probably because her visit took the Princess away from her regularly scheduled government duties. Luna was attentive, looking rather tired since it was the middle of the day but interested to see what Trixie wanted.

Trixie bowed to the two of them as formality dictated. Valiant had never bothered, but then he didn’t respect the Princesses, or at least not as rulers.

Since he’d explained his ideology to Trixie, she had come to regard the diarchs a bit differently, however. Celestia had a streak of subversion in her, which was often used for playful pranks but there was also an undercurrent of something more secretive. Luna was largely innocent of that, probably less jaded because of spending so much time alone on the moon. She kept secrets too, but generally they were not centered on her.

“Princesses, I’d like to place this in your care.” Trixie showed them the dimension-hopping rock. The two alicorns traded a glance, both knowing what Trixie had brought to them.

“I think that would probably be a wise idea,” Celestia decided.

Luna nodded in agreement. “Honestly, we probably should have locked this thing away sooner.”

“Valiant will probably want it back when he returns,” Trixie commented. “I don’t know yet if he will continue to live in Equestria or go home. The creators of this world seemed to want him out, but he has been successful in ignoring them so far.”

The creators, a group largely composed of Valiant’s exes, had inadvertently sparked a virtual reality located in the collective unconscious of the universe into an actual world. Once the inhabitants, like ponies, had gained their own sapience, there had been no going back. It was a little strange to think that Equestria really wasn’t very old at all and their history and the legacy of the alicorns was all manufactured, but most ponies just preferred not to think about it. That, and the Princesses had worked to quash as much knowledge of it as possible. While Valiant wouldn’t agree, Trixie appreciated how royalty got things done.

“We’ll have this placed in the royal vault,” said Celestia.

Trixie nodded. “Thank you.”

“How long has Valiant been away?” asked Luna. Her tone sounded slightly concerned.

Trixie knew instantly where the conversation was going to go, and steered away from it. “Long enough.” She paused and changed the subject. “While I’m here, what can you tell me about Twilight? I was wondering if she was going to come back to the Ponyville library.”

Celestia and Luna traded glances.

“I haven’t seen her in a few weeks,” said Luna.

“It isn’t like her to just disappear, or at least not without leaving a triplicate checklist of forwarding addresses.” While Trixie was not one of her closest associates, she did feel some friendship towards Twilight for the time they had spent together while Trixie recovered from her age spell induced second childhood. It seemed right to at least ask about Twilight.

Celestia shrugged, seemingly unconcerned and putting a close to the matter. Trixie said goodbye to the Princesses and turned to go.

The spiral stairs down from the meeting room through the center of the castle ran all the way to the basement. Trixie hopped the railing and rode it all the way to the bottom, accidentally missing her dismount point at the first floor.

It was possibly the most sicknasty rail grind in all of Equestria, yet there was nopony waiting to congratulate her. Trixie turned towards the stairs to go back up but stopped, noticing a nearby door with a strange green glow coming from beneath it.

This part of the castle was not used much. Back in the old days it might have been dungeons. Trixie propelled her skateboard forward to the door, pulling it open to see what was inside.

There were machines and other pieces of equipment arranged around the room. A few lights blinked. In the center of the space was a tall glass tank filled with some sort of liquid. Wires and pipes trailed inside it, some of them connected to the still shape of a purple unicorn.

A few long seconds passed. Trixie pushed off and rolled backwards out of the room.

Chapter 18

Trixie closed the laboratory door and stood there for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do. The door hadn’t been locked and the room was positioned next to the stairs. It wasn’t super high security.

However, the Princesses had indicated that whatever happened to Twilight in the past few weeks was something they either knew nothing about or claimed not to.

After pondering for a little while longer, Trixie decided to confront them. At the least, they would be happy that Twilight had been located. Or, they might be displeased that some sort of secret project had been discovered. Either way, Trixie had nothing better to do that afternoon.

She trudged up the stairs and returned to the meeting room. The two Princesses had cleared out, but Trixie found a royal page to track them down. Both alicorns returned to the room shortly, showing a mixture of curiosity and annoyance.

“Twilight’s inside some sort of wicked science project gone wrong down in the dungeon.”

Both Princesses looked surprised. “Goodness, what’s she doing down there?” Luna asked. Celestia said nothing, but shades of suspicion began to creep across her face.

“Why don’t we go take a look?” suggested Trixie. She led the Princesses out of the room, walking down the stairs instead of riding so that they could keep up.

The three of them entered the room in the dungeon. Trixie carefully judged the reaction of both Princesses. They each looked somewhat taken aback.

“Goodness gracious,” murmured Luna.

Celestia said nothing, a shocked look still on her face. The expression slowly began to migrate towards understanding. “Twilight said she was working on something…”

“What could it possibly be?” asked Trixie.

Celestia looked like she wanted to reply, but either wasn’t confident in her answer or was afraid of something. Ignoring her sister’s hesitation, Luna said, “Well, why don’t we ask her?”

“I wonder how we could get her out of there,” Trixie mused, staring at the tank where Twilight was currently submerged.

“You’re more knowledgeable about these technological things,” said Celestia, speaking up.

Trixie nodded at her encouragement and moved forward, scanning a workbench filled with small pieces of equipment and copious notes in what she recognized as Twilight’s distinctive style. She was unable to determine what the equipment was for, but did find a schematic for its shutdown procedure.

With a little tinkering, Trixie was able to start a pump that began to empty the tank of liquid. With telekinesis, Trixie and the two Princesses got Twilight out and removed the various wires and tubes from her body. After a few tentative pokes to wake her, Twilight’s eyes slid open.

She looked around for a moment, appearing slightly disoriented and confused. “What’s the date?”

Celestia told her. “Hmm,” Twilight mused. “Well, that could have gone better, but if you got me out then there’s probably something important going on.”

Her eyes widened. “Is there something important going on? Do you need me to join up with the Elements of Harmony and save Equestria again?”

“No, nothing like that,” Celestia assured her. “We were just worried about you. We didn’t know where you had gone.”

An embarrassed flush crept over Twilight’s face. “I, uh, guess I was so caught up in my work that I forgot to tell anypony.”

“What were you doing?” Luna asked.

Twilight sat up, rubbing the back of her head. She muttered, “It was an immortality experiment.”

“But…I thought you didn’t want to be an alicorn?” Celestia asked.

“I don’t, or at least not right now! That’s a lot of responsibility and I don’t think I’m ready yet. Not only would I be doing Equestria a disservice as a sub-par leader, but there’s so much I still have to do with my life. Above all, I don’t think I could just leave my friends like that. After seeing how quickly and easily things could change, I realized that I had been taking them for granted. Just…please give me a while longer, Princess.”

Celestia nodded. “I hadn’t considered things that way. Although, you are a natural leader. I’m sure you would be fine in that regard. I can see this is mostly about your fellow Elements of Harmony.”

Twilight looked conflicted. “They’re more than that, obviously. They’re my friends. And after that incident with the visitors from Valiant’s world, the creators, I realized that I was taking too many things like that for granted. Actually, after meeting Valiant I realized I was taking too many things for granted, period.”

“I can’t blame you,” said Trixie.

Celestia considered everything Twilight had said. “How about I help you with both issues? Luna, Cadance, and I are holding a Princess Summit in the Crystal Empire soon. This will help ease you into a role as a Princess in the future. I’ll also invite all your friends so you can enjoy each other’s company.”

Twilight brightened. “That sounds great.”

Trixie was invited to go along, mostly because she was standing there and because Twilight asked nicely. The two of them did make good study buddies. Twilight had the knowledge and Trixie had ways to keep her friend from freaking out about the small things.

As they boarded the train for the Crystal Empire, Trixie asked, “So what was the immortality thing for?”

Twilight frowned. “Well, I suppose it has a lot of uses. The experiment I was doing was just temporary stasis, to study the effects. Getting some sort of spell or potion to let a pony go about their life without ageing forever will take quite a bit more research. The stasis experiment was effectively just doing research just to know what kind of research I’ll need to begin researching my ultimate goal.”

“But look at the bright side,” Trixie pointed out. “That’s only three levels deep.”

The train arrived in the Chrystal Empire soon enough. The other Elements of Harmony would arrive from Ponyville not much later.

After the attack involving Post Haste the angry artificial alicorn, the Empire had some rebuilding to do. There were bedrooms available, however, and Trixie and Twilight dropped their things off. Trixie wrapped her M60 in her cloak and left her skateboard. She went with Twilight to meet the Princesses.

The meeting was actually kind of boring and Trixie suspected that Twilight thought so, too. They were spared more of the same by the arrival of the other Element Bearers. There was a rather nice party and dinner and then everypony went off to get some sleep. As an unexpected guest, Trixie got put up in an awkward bed crammed into a small room next to a mirror.

Twilight offered for her to sleep in the same bed. “I mean, I’m not a Princess yet, so there’s no wings to get in the way.” She laughed nervously. “I don’t even know how uncomfortable I would be trying to sleep with them anyway.”

“It’s okay,” Trixie declined. “But thank you for the offer.”

Trixie settled in to bed. Despite being a second choice, it was still royal quality and she was asleep in minutes. However, hours later, the sound of the door to the room being roughly opened brought her awake. A mare in a cloak looked up sharply, as if not expecting to see Trixie there. She was an orange unicorn with red and yellow stripes in her mane. She was also carrying the Element of Magic in her saddlebag.

Based on the intruder’s surprise, Trixie decided that she was probably an unwelcome guest. Also, she was probably a thief.

Both of them fired a bolt of magic at the same time, the spells meeting head on and negating. The other pony leaped sideways, towards the mirror.

“Twilight, get in here right now!” Trixie shouted. She lined up for another spell, but to her surprise the other pony stepped through the surface of the mirror and disappeared.

Trixie was still gaping in astonishment when Twilight showed up, panting. “What is it, Trixie?”

“Somepony just stole your crown.”

“What? Oh Trixie, I’m not a Princess yet. I don’t even have a figurative crown. Why, I…” Twilight trailed off, her eyes indicating that she was remembering what her bedroom looked like before leaving and the fact that the Element of Magic wasn’t there. “Oh buck, that crown!”

“Since when do you swear?” asked Trixie.

“Since the Element of Magic goes missing!”

By this time, everypony in the castle was awake and crowding into the room. Trixie explained who and what she had seen. Princess Celestia put on a grim face. “That must be Sunset Shimmer, a former student of mine. This magic mirror is a portal to another dimension and she escaped through it.”

“What are we going to do?” asked Twilight.

“You need to go through the mirror and figure out how to get it back,” replied Cadance. “Without the Element of Magic, the others are useless. Be careful, however. You only have three days to get it back or the portal will close.”

“I’ll go with her,” said Trixie. “I do know something about portals.” Truthfully, she felt a little guilty about letting Sunset Shimmer escape.

“The mirror only allows one pony to go through at a time,” said Celestia.

“It only allows one Princess through at a time,” said Luna. “Perhaps two other ponies would be feasible.”

With that, preparation took only a matter of minutes. Twilight packed a saddlebag of emergency equipment. Trixie picked up her bundled machine gun.

Spike looked worried, but when he saw that Trixie was going along, and loaded for bear at that, he appeared satisfied.

Twilight and Trixie stepped through the mirror, each of them tumbling out onto the ground in the bright sunshine. After a moment to get oriented, both of them sat up.

“Huh, we’re people,” commented Trixie.

“Strangely colored ones, but you’re right,” agreed Twilight. “You know, I never thought I would thank Valiant for anything, but I’m glad that I already know how to walk on two legs.”

Trixie nodded, accepting the complement on her father’s behalf. You could learn a lot by going to strange dimensions. She reviewed what she remembered about people in her head. No magic, bipedal, fingers, clothing taboo.

The two of them got up. They had appeared next to a statue of a horse. A building was nearby, with Canterlot High School written over the door.

Also nearby were a crowd of people. One that looked suspiciously like Sunset Shimmer was among them, apparently searching for something. Frustration was clear on her face.

Trixie pointed her out. She and Twilight started to move as Sunset departed the group, stalking away in anger. She headed around the side of the building. Following her, Twilight and Trixie found themselves alone with their adversary.

Sunset turned. “Who are you? New kids at school?”

“Something like that,” Twilight agreed, not knowing what else to say.

“Hmm.” Sunset put on a smile that had a layer of friendliness only on the surface like a coat of paint. She stopped after walking closer. “I’m Sunset Shimmer, crowned Princess of the Fall Formal multiple times.”

“This is Starburst,” said Trixie, pointing at Twilight. It was unfortunately the first name that came to mind.

“And this is, ah, Valiantia,” said Twilight, hastily. She gave Trixie an I’m sorry look.

Sunset’s eyes went to the bundle Trixie carried that was wrapped in a purple cape. “What’s that?”

“Just my little friend.” In the next breath, Trixie hit Sunset in the face with the butt of her machine gun. The pony-turned-girl hit the ground, out cold.

Trixie grabbed Sunset by the hair and lifted her head away from the ground in preparation to drag her. “Okay, let’s take her back through the mirror.”

“But wait, where’s the Element of Magic?” asked Twilight.

“Oh. Right.” Trixie grinned sheepishly and let go of Sunset, the unconscious girl’s face hitting the ground. “Yes, we should probably find that first.”

Chapter 19

Where to start looking for Twilight’s tiara was a problem. It seemed obvious that if Sunset Shimmer had lost it, then there was no use in asking her where to find the crown. Besides, she was unconscious with a rapidly spreading bruise on her face.

“Did you have to knock her out?” complained Twilight as she and Trixie dragged their comatose capturee through the school. The polished tile floor helped slide her limp body along, but Trixie had to admit that the weight was starting to become a problem, especially with the heavy machine gun still slung on her back.

The weapon was wrapped up in her cape again. There was no way of telling if the inhabitants of this world would know what it was and how they would react to it being in a school. They seemed humanish, but the pony-like skin and hair colors made it obviously not Valiant’s version of Earth.

There wasn’t magic here, either. Trixie and Twilight had both tried spells to make dragging Sunset easier. On top of that, the heavy M60’s carrying strap was digging into Trixie’s shoulder. At the very least, the Princesses of Equestria could have sent Trixie’s skateboard through the mirror with her so she and Twilight could roll Sunset along.

“So where do we start looking for the Element of Magic?” Twilight asked.

“It wasn’t outside.” Trixie shrugged.

“Well, hopefully a convenient bit of luck comes along to help us out,” Twilight joked.

Trixie did not laugh. Twilight was not very good at jokes. Also, deus ex machina was boring.

Students began to come into the building. Classes would begin soon. Trixie looked around. “I think everypon - er, everyone will be suspicious if they see us with Sunset. Worse, they might think we’re friends.”

“Let’s just leave her at the nurse’s office,” suggested Twilight. The two of them found a door with a red cross on it. Below was the name Nurse Redheart.

“Strange,” Twilight observed. “I would say that this is a coincidence, but we are in a parallel universe. There’s no telling who we might run into.”

They opened the door and went inside. The nurse turned out to be a pale woman with pink hair, a close match for the pony of the same name.

“She might have a concussion,” Trixie said, indicating Sunset.

Nurse Redheart got up from her desk with frown. “Shame. I was hoping it was someone I’d actually enjoy treating. Oh well, let’s get her on a bed. Hippocratic Oath and all.”

“What’s going on?” asked another woman, sticking her head in. From her appearance, Trixie immediately knew that it must be Princess Celestia, or whatever her equivalent here was. Judging by the look on Twilight’s face, the same thought must have occurred to her.

“Sunset Shimmer is hurt, and these two girls brought her here,” Nurse Redheart explained.

Celestia came in and put out her hand. “You must be new students. I’m Principal Celestia.”

Trixie and Twilight each shook her hand in turn, introducing themselves. Celestia gestured for them to follow. “Step into my office. You’ll need to do some new student paperwork.”

The three of them went next door to the principal’s office. Twilight stopped short as she stepped in. Her tiara rested on the shelf behind Celestia’s desk.

“That’s mine!” Twilight blurted. “I’m so glad you found it.”

Celestia frowned. “A splendid crown like that must be worth quite a lot. I’m sorry, but unless you can prove that it belongs to you, I can’t just let you have it. And don’t think that I’m keeping it for myself. I’ve already decided that it will be the prize for Princess of the Fall Formal.”

“But…but…” Twilight sputtered.

“Just a minute,” Trixie said to Celestia. “I need to talk to her.” She pushed Twilight out the door.

Twilight sighed and leaned against the wall. “We’re so close! I can’t think of anything that would help. I knew I should have taken Rarity’s suggestion and had it engraved with my name.”

“We could…take it from her by force,” Trixie offered.

“It’s pretty clear that Valiant’s been rubbing off on you if things like that are what you’re coming up with for solutions.” Twilight glanced away and heaved a sigh. “And it’s pretty clear that he’s been rubbing off on me if I didn’t immediately reject the idea.”

“Maybe this isn’t a good time to talk about it, but you seem to be different after the alicorn drama,” Trixie observed.

Twilight considered that for a moment and then nodded. “You’re right; it’s not a good time.”

That wasn’t what Trixie expected her to say, but she dutifully followed Twilight back into the office to finish their new student paperwork. It took a few minutes to get it all filled out, using their real names so that "Starburst" and "Valiantia" that they had told Sunset wouldn't get them in trouble when she woke up. Celestia collected their forms when they were finished and told them where to find their first class. Twilight bid her goodbye and took one last look at the golden crown before leaving the office.

Trixie walked beside Twilight out into the hallway. “So what’s the plan?”

“I’m going to win the title of Princess of the Fall Formal, get the Element of Magic back, and then we go home.”

“It’s your first day at a new school, you don’t know anyone, and very soon you need to be voted the most popular girl in school. If this doesn’t work out, Equestria will never have a complete set of Elements of Harmony again. This is a challenge with high stakes, to say the least.”

Twilight groaned. “Don’t remind me. That makes it sound so much more difficult. I’m going to need all the help I can get.”

A sudden idea came to Trixie and she grinned and bumped Twilight’s arm. “I’ll get you some help. Great and Powerful help.”

Chapter 20

The plan had taken two days to set up, two long days of Twilight and Trixie preparing things and sleeping at night in a secret place in the school with only peanut butter crackers that Trixie had found for sustenance, but everything was finally ready. The Fall Formal was that night, and the plan to get Twilight elected Princess was beginning.

The lights in the auditorium were dim. The schedule for the whole school had been changed to include a special performance.

There were only two people in the whole building who were aware of exactly why. The rest were either under a complex web of crossed stories and deceit that would take days to unravel, had no need to know, or simply didn’t care.

Twilight and Trixie stood backstage surreptitiously peering through a gap in the curtains. The two of them were kitted out in whatever the drama department had for costumes. The point was to make an impact, and they were certainly going to do just that.

Twilight pulled back from the curtain and glanced at Trixie. She kept her voice below the murmur of the crowd. “Looks like you really know how to organize these things.”

Trixie waved a hand. “Please. Tripping up administrations in order to put the largest crowd in the right place at the most advantageous time is easier than you think. The real challenge is what we’re about to do next.”

Twilight nodded, her mouth quirking in nervousness. “I think the hardest part is up to me.”

“You’re the one that needs to be in front of the people.” Trixie nodded. “Just remember, actions speak louder than words.”

They moved to their positions. Trixie had tracked down this universe’s version of Snips and Snails and gotten them to function as stage hands. Twilight had reminded her to only give them simple, foolproof tasks.

As the proper time arrived, the two boys hoisted the curtain, revealing the stage setup. A large glittering sign overhead bore the message Twilight Sparkle for Princess. Twilight herself was decked out in an edgier version of the school’s normal wear. Based on Valiant’s comments on human culture, Trixie had recommended that Twilight shorten the skirt and lower the neckline. Also, make it out of leather. The fact that Twilight agreed said something about either her commitment to being voted Princess of the Fall Formal, or her lack of memory of where leather came from.

The guitar in Twilight’s grasp was a bright red Flying V. She didn’t know how to really play it, but apparently had read a book on chords at one point in her life and remembered a few. Rock careers had been built on less.

Trixie sat among a drum kit behind Twilight. They hadn’t had much time to rehearse together, but hopefully this wouldn’t require so much coordination. Trixie hit the beat and Twilight ripped her first chord.

There was a limit to a song’s complexity if there were only two instruments involved. The main focus was on the lyrics, however. The microphone in front of Twilight magnified her already ear-piercing shriek.

I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I’m here to say

I’m the new kid, and we’re doing things my way

Intelligent, well-read, and witty

And the baddest bitch in the whole damn city

Teachers say I’m just not normal

Vote for me at the Fall Formal

And then Twilight leaped into the air, using her weight on the downswing to better smash the guitar across the stage. That was the cue for Snips and Snails to set off the fireworks. They popped and sparkled on the stage as Trixie finished off with a drum finale.

The little performance had broken so many – so many – school rules, and the students loved it. Twilight and Trixie were dragged away to Principal Celestia’s office to explain themselves. They had planned on that and had prepared a defense.

“We were never informed that Canterlot High does not allow new arrivals to formally introduce themselves to the student body,” Twilight said in her best lawyer voice. “In many cultures, bravado and show are part of social interaction.”

Celestia’s expression showed that she clearly saw through their ruse, but was not in a position to do much about it. As new students, Twilight and Trixie had no history of infractions and a case could not be made for more severe punishment than the minimum. They knew that; Twilight had carefully pored over the school regulations.

“Ordinarily I would only be able to issue a punishment of a few days’ in-school suspension in my office.” Celestia glanced pointedly at the crown sitting on the shelf behind her desk. “However, I think that this is a situation that study hall is better suited to handle.”

She sent Twilight and Trixie to study hall. Their plan had been put into motion. Now they just needed to see it through. The stunt had been carefully timed for maximum impact before the Fall Formal that evening. Too early in the day and maybe the rumor mill would turn against them. Too late, and the student body might be still in shock and unable to vote like they should.

“Something just occurred to me,” said Trixie as the two of them sat bored in study hall. “Where are we supposed to get dresses for an event like the Fall Formal?”

Twilight frowned in thought. “I guess we need to find this universe’s version of Rarity.”

The two of them glanced around. Conveniently, a girl with pale skin and wavy indigo hair had looked up when the name Rarity was spoken.

“Yeah, you,” said Trixie, waving her over.

Rarity approached and sat down. “I saw your performance earlier. I don’t know where you got that costume, Ms. Twilight Sparkle, but other than making an impact it certainly wasn’t very elegant. I don’t think you could have even spelled ‘subtle’ using any of the letters in the manufacturer’s tag. Why—”

Trixie cut her off. “Then please help us to dress nicely at the Fall Formal.”

“Well, I suppose I can do that. Meet me after lunch.” Rarity walked away.

Trixie glanced around, spotting facsimiles of Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie all sitting around the room. None of them were close to each other, and all were looking disfavorably on Twilight and Trixie for associating with Rarity. Then they all appeared to realize that they shared a common feeling and looked away in disgust. Trixie filed that away for later. For some reason, the Elements of Harmony here at this school weren’t – the Elements, that is.

The rest of study hall passed slowly. Trixie and Twilight discussed a little about what had happened since Valiant had left the planet. Trixie told of her travels and Twilight talked about her tedious laboratory trials. It was nice to catch up.

At lunch, the two of them ate quietly. They were both slightly concerned about the human diet, but the taste and texture of the cafeteria food made it irrelevant whether it was meat or not. After eating, they recieved a pair of beautiful dresses from Rarity, true to her word.

They were just figuring out the combination to their lockers in order to store the garments until the event when the other four girls who looked like their friends came walking up. Each was keeping her distance from the others, but it was clear that they’d put whatever differences they had aside in order to confront Twilight and Trixie.

Applejack was the first to speak. “So what do you two think you’re doin’ here?”

“Changing the status quo?” Rainbow Dash interjected accusatorily. Everyone, including Twilight and Trixie, gave her a look.

“What?” said Rainbow. “I read. Sometimes.”

“While they may be new, that’s no reason they can’t be successful and get Twilight voted as Princess of the Fall Formal,” said Rarity. “Thanks to me, they certainly look good enough.”

“But it’s clear you did a rush job,” Fluttershy said quietly. “The stitching was off.”

Rarity gasped in offense. Applejack and Rainbow grinned at her consternation, but quickly quit it when they realized they shared a common amusement. Rarity turned her anger on them. Fluttershy quickly ducked out of the way, not willing to stick up for her supposed friends.

Seeing a way to possibly derail, if not defuse, the situation, Twilight quickly asked, “And what do you have to say, Pinkie?”

“I’m still trying to figure out why you guys are from a different dimension,” Pinkie replied with a shrug. That brought the conversation to a screeching halt.

“What now?” asked Applejack in her skeptical tone. The others expressed similar levels of disbelief.

“Another reason I’m working on immortality,” Twilight muttered to Trixie. “Maybe then I can have enough time to finally learn how Pinkie does that.”

Twilight cleared her throat and started explaining. It took a few minutes to get the whole story out and also to make it believable. Experienced with both illusions and unraveling them, Trixie had to help get the point across. They managed to convince the group of what Sunset Shimmer was up to.

“Well, that’s, ah, quite a tale,” said Applejack, taking a step backwards and raising her hands. “Good luck gettin’ it sorted out.”

“It does sound like something you would be best qualified to handle,” said Rarity, also trying to disengage from the conversation.

Rainbow crossed her arms. “Well, I’d like to help, but I can’t stand any of these numbskulls.”

Everyone glared at her. Rainbow glanced around. “What? You all said worse things in those texts.”

“I keep telling you, I never said anything bad about you or anyone!” Fluttershy pouted.

“Same here,” Applejack deadpanned.

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t stoop to such a level,” put in Rarity.

“And do you really think that I would be so silly as to send nasty incriminating electronic evidence from my own phone?” added Pinkie.

“I have no idea what you’re all talking about, but can you at least come together to help us oust Sunset as incumbent Princess of the Fall Formal?” Trixie asked.

The five reluctantly agreed. Twilight gave them a plan for the event. They should each convince the friends in their own cliques to vote for Twilight. Also, if possible, find some way to make Sunset look bad.

Plans set, the others departed. Twilight and Trixie lingered a moment longer. “So do you think this will work?” Trixie asked.

A male student stopped by, opening a nearby locker. He looked up and smiled. Twilight ignored him, answering Trixie’s question. “If everything goes according to plan.”

Trixie nodded. “Let’s hope.”

The boy turned, coming a few steps closer. “Hi, I’m Flash Sentry. I saw your performance earlier.”

“That’s nice,” said Twilight diplomatically.

“I’m still not sure who I’m going to vote for at the Fall Formal.” Flash frowned. “I’m not sure I like my girls so strong and confident as you.”

“How well do you respond to threats?” asked Trixie, reaching a hand into her locker.

Flash considered it. “Well, pretty good I guess. My mom says I’m easy to control.”

Trixie yanked her M60 out of the locker and slammed the stock into Flash’s groin so hard that he fell back and slid a few feet across the floor.

“Vote for Twilight Sparkle or there’s more where that came from.” Flash did not reply except to breathe in small gasps and weep. Trixie headed back to study hall with Twilight.

The rest of the day passed quickly and it was soon time for the Fall Formal. Trixie and Twilight got dressed up and headed for the gym. Just in case of trouble, Trixie packed along her machine gun.

Things were still in the setting up stage, although most of the crowd had arrived. Trixie was just about to ask Twilight when the voting would begin when Principal Celestia carried in the golden tiara that would be the prize.

She gave Twilight and Trixie a look and then placed the crown in a glass case to be safe. A few members of the crowd gathered around, oohing and ahing.

Sunset Shimmer appeared. She glared at Twilight from across the room before shifting to Trixie. Almost unconsciously, she touched her face where a large bandage had been placed.

There was the crash of breaking glass. Snips and Snails fled from the crown display with the Element of Magic clutched between them. They headed for the door.

Trixie’s eyes went wide and she started forward. Before she reached them, the two boys ran out of the school. Just then, five girls appeared as planned, intercepting the two thieves.

Applejack and Rainbow did most of the holding and face-into-dirt smashing. Pinkie giggled at the victory and seized the crown. Fluttershy checked to make sure the captives were not permanently injured. Rarity saw that it was all done as properly as a high school dance fight could be.

Trixie walked up, kneeling down to face Snips and Snails. “I thought you agreed to help us.”

“Well uh, sorta,” muttered Snails.

“Sunset said that she was more Great and Powerful than you!” squealed Snips.

Trixie’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Is that so?”

She stood up and turned to face Sunset as she came out of the school. Twilight accepted the crown from Pinkie. A crowd began to form behind Sunset, eager to see a fight.

Sunset glanced behind her, seeing the group and getting an idea to turn them to her favor. She stalked forward, pointing a finger at Twilight. “Look at that. Probably trying to steal the crown!”

“It’s mine,” Twilight growled. She stepped forward angrily. She may have been a little more aggressive and ruthless lately, but she was still fairly naieve in the ways of the world. In her own rage, Trixie was slow in reaching out a hand to stop Sunset from coming any closer, and was too late. Sunset grabbed the crown from Twilight’s hands and jammed it on her own head.

There was a sparkle of light as Sunset was transformed into some sort of dragon/demon/ugly flying thing. She shrieked in fiendish pleasure and soared into the air. Bolts of magic struck at the assembled crowd of students, turning them into mindless minions. Trixie saw Flash among them. Huh, he actually is easy to control.

“Ha!” Sunset roared with evil laughter. “I don’t want to rule this pathetic little high school; I want Equestria! And with my own little teenage army behind me, I am going to get it!”

Trixie rolled her eyes and unwrapped her machine gun. “I guess a high volume of lead on target has to save the day again.”

Sunset had no idea what an M60 was, but prudently decided that it was a threat. With an aura of magic, she yanked it out of Trixie’s grasp.

Trixie stumbled forward, aghast as losing hold of her only tool for both defense and offense. Sunset cackled and tossed the machine gun from hand to hand. “And what’s this? Some sort of last ditch magic artifact?”

“Uh, yeah,” Trixie said. “And whatever you do, don’t point it at me!”

“Oh, why is that?” Sunset held up the M60, placing her finger on the trigger and training it in Trixie’s direction.

A rock conked Sunset on the hand. The jolt didn’t injure her, but she reflexively pulled the trigger. The weapon started firing and Sunset didn’t have the presence of mind to let go of it. Trixie dodged out of the way as tracer bullets lit up the night sky and the recoil drove the barrel of the machine gun upwards. The foregrip smacked Sunset between the eyes and knocked her out cold.

Trixie picked herself up and nodded thanks to Twilight who had thrown the rock. Walking over to where the restored human form of Sunset lay, Trixie retrieved her M60 and gave the unconscious body of Sunset a haughty glare. “Trigger discipline, bitch.”

“Well, that’s that,” Twilight murmured as she picked up her crown again. “Let’s go home.”

“Why don’t we take her back?” suggested Trixie. “At the very least, we can stop her from ruining this world any more.”

“I suppose,” Twilight nodded. They each grabbed a handful of Sunset’s hair and began to drag her back towards the portal.

Author's Note

Here is a picture of machine gun human Trixie

Chapter 22

Trixie stared at the massive ship's bow, a frown on her face. There was something about the name Titanic, something Valiant had said, perhaps. She couldn't quite remember what it was, however, and so moved forward up the boarding ramp with a shrug.

The ship was lavishly furnished. It had a modern iron hull and steam engines. This was to be its first cruise, carrying passengers across the ocean.

Trixie found her way to the cabin assigned to the first-class ticket she had gotten from the Flim Flam Brothers. She wondered how those two could have gotten it in the first place, suspecting something suspicious at work, but decided that it wasn't important. She had her mind set on a nice relaxing cruise and didn't want to worry about the details.

Valiant had traveled extensively aboard a research ship with the Elements of Harmony. While Trixie wasn't planning to see quite as much of the world as that, she was eager to get out and do some exploring. Her first destination beckoned.

Quite a few ponies had booked passage for the trip, and the ship seemed to be full to capacity. Trixie wandered the decks as preparations were made to get going. Everypony seemed to be in a good mood. Truthfully, the little vacation across the sea had lifted Trixie's spirits as well. After the incident with the mirror portal in the Crystal Empire, there had been a lot on her mind.

Perhaps Twilight could do with some cheering up, too. The ticket Trixie had was for a cabin that could accommodate two. She could have invited along a companion and now regretted not asking Twilight. She probably needed a break as much as anypony. That is, if Twilight would have agreed to go.

Trixie had noticed a definite chance in Twilight's attitude since the outbreak of alicornism incident. She had been more serious, less smiling, almost a little angry or depressed. It was confirmed there was something big on her friend's mind when Twilight was found in that weird science lab in the dungeons. She was troubled by something, anypony could see that.

Putting that aside for a moment, Trixie heard the chugging of the steam engines pick up and the ship's deck hands cast away the mooring lines. A great cheer rose up from the passengers and the assembled crowd on the wharf as the great ship Titanic pulled away.

Trixie enjoyed the sea air for a few minutes longer before heading back to her cabin. She'd brought the essentials with her: hat, cape, M60, switchblade, drugs, and money. Traveling light across Equestria's west had taught her a few lessons about effective packing for a trip.

Speaking of drugs, Trixie paused to pop a pill. Zecora had certainly done her a great favor by making the anti-radiation medication in convenient capsule form. Trixie felt better, was less a danger to anypony, and remained unfreaky.

At lunchtime, Trixie strolled out of her cabin to partake in the ship's excellent food. Supposedly, no expense had been spared on hiring chefs. She was just entering the dining room when the sounds of a scuffle reached her. Two porters were struggling with a passenger near the entrance to the kitchen.

"Of course I don't have seating arrangements!" a female voice shouted. "I could only get a third-class ticket after all!"

"Third-class passengers are not allowed in this dining room," the crew ponies sternly informed her, dragging the mare towards the door. Apparently, she had snuck in through the kitchen.

Trixie caught sight of the third-class pony and had to agree that she really was a tramp. The grey unicorn's multicolored mane was untidy and her ugly orange and pink cape didn't help. Plus, her name was Starburst.

Ducking into the crowd of curious onlookers, Trixie put herself out of sight. As long as she kept to first-class-only places, she should be able to stay away from Starburst, but clearly she would still have to be careful of more intrusions like this.

And how did Starburst know Trixie would be aboard? The ticket she'd won from the Flim Flam Brothers had only been obtained in a card game the night before. Had they told her?

Trixie brooded her way through lunch and then went to find the telegraph office. Through the use of radio technology, the ship was somehow able to communicate with the shore, or at least with other ships that could transmit the message the rest of the way. She asked the telegraph operator to send a strongly worded message to the Flim Flam Brothers.

With the transit time involved, the time to get the message down at the shore receiving station, and the time to track down the brothers, it could be quite a while before a response came. Trixie went back to her cabin to brood some more.

It was beginning to look like the only way to get rid of Starburst was to kill her. While Trixie wasn't exactly justified with deadly force, Starburst had caused enough trouble to incur at least some punishment. Plus, when Valiant came back he would probably be proud of her for dealing with things so decisively.

Close quarters fighting inside the ship was not a good idea with the weighty machine gun. Plus, a knife would be much more subtle and less likely that anypony would notice. Also, it would be several more days until the ship reached shore. Trixie hadn't noticed that much entertainment aboard.

Decision made, Trixie picked up her hat and cape, concealing her father's switchblade. She headed for the third-class spaces.

Chapter 23

The ocean liner, Titanic, while brand spanking new, wasn’t fancy and clean everywhere aboard. The lower Trixie went into the depths of the hull, the plainer, darker, and dirtier it got.

She walked along quickly, her cape billowing out behind her. The faster pace might have made Trixie seem a little reckless, but she was covering more of the dim passageways in a shorter amount of time. The quicker she found Starburst, the better.

It was a little bit of a reverse of Trixie’s earlier way of thinking. While she might have the whole cruise to track down the other mare, it still seemed prudent to get her task done sooner rather than later. Trixie did not want Starburst to be the one finding her.

The ponies to be found on the lower decks were all a little poorer than those above. They had less fancy attire, less clothing in general, and the cutie marks were more mundane. Trixie in her purple hat and cape stuck out a little. Maybe that would help lure Starburst to her.

There was ample time to think about Starburst now. Trixie decided that it was probably best to search her memory for any clues that might help. She reviewed what she knew about the struggling showmare, hoping that something might stick out. As it was, only more unanswered questions presented themselves.

Back in Ponyville, when the two of them had been close to actually having a magic duel only to be interrupted by a booster from Valiant’s rocket crashing down, Starburst had mentioned that she was looking for something. Trixie wasn’t sure if it was an object or, like the showbusiness, something more intangible. Either way, she seemed to think Trixie knew where it was. There was also the mystery of why male Starburst in the other universe wasn’t crazy, instead just being merely gay.

Trixie continued deeper into the ship, walking by the coal storage bunker and feeling the warmth of the boilers that fed on the fuel. It was louder down here, and the fires that kept up steam pressure burned brightly.

Glancing to the side, Trixie paused in surprise. She thought she recognized one of the engine room ponies. She walked closer. Sure enough, it was Fluttershy.

The yellow pegasus was smudged with grease and coal dust, and there was a sailor cap perched on her head. She picked up a scoop of coal with a shovel and put it in the boiler, catching sight of Trixie as she turned.

Fluttershy smiled. “Oh, hi Trixie. What are you doing here?”

“I’m sailing across the ocean to see the other side. Meanwhile, I’m trying to track down that mare named Starburst so I can give her what she has coming.” Trixie arched an eyebrow. “And what are you doing here, Fluttershy?”

“Well, everypony knows that I’m good with animals, but like a lot of ponies I have a few secondary talents, too. One of them is sewing. Applejack says I have a freaky knowledge of it.” Fluttershy paused to gesture at the boiler. “As it turns out, I’m also pretty good at shoveling coal. Once, when we were riding a train to Canterlot for the National Dessert Competition, I thought about going up to the engine to help out the engineers when I needed an alibi for something I did.”

Trixie couldn’t imagine what Fluttershy could have possibly done to warrant an alibi, but was impressed by her friend’s hidden talents anyway.

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you to that,” said Trixie. “We should hang out later, though."

"I'd like that." Fluttershy nodded and smiled.

Trixie turned to go, but stopped. "Oh, one more thing, have you seen Starburst?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, but I hope you find her.”

“Thanks, so do I.” Trixie left the boiler room.

It was unfortunate that the short conversation had slightly distracted Trixie. She wasn’t prepared with a first strike when she ran into Starburst on the next deck.

Starburst was her usual self, which is to say unattractively attired and messily tattooed. Trixie threw back her cape, pulling out the switchblade and flicking it open. Starburst fell into a defensive stance, her eyes on the blade. Her look was more of interest than tactical caution, however. For some reason, that put Trixie on edge.

“Why are you here?” Trixie asked. Starburst didn’t have to reply, but it would be nice to have at least one nagging question resolved.

“I go wherever I want,” replied Starburst, still watching the switchblade. “Happily, I keep meeting up with you.”

There was no way to tell if she was lying, but her story sounded like merely coincidence that kept bringing the two of them together. Trixie didn’t want to believe that, but stranger things had happened. All the more reason to kill her.

“I’ll tell you what,” said Starburst, still not looking Trixie in the eye. “I want to make a trade. You give me that knife, and I’ll do my best to stay out of your way. I’ll even give up on the idea of dueling you out of your showbiz swag.”

It was a tempting offer, Trixie had to admit. She might feel a little bad about giving away something that belonged to Valiant. He might be angry if he - when he came back. More importantly, however, why was Starburst so interested in the switchblade? It wasn’t a super decorated fancy weapon. Valiant had made it himself, although Trixie wasn’t aware of exactly when and how. It was quite durable as evidenced by Valiant’s various shenanigans with it, including falling from the sky to cut King Sombra in half lengthwise. Other than that, Trixie was unaware of anything that made the switchblade special, or why Starburst wanted it. And that worried her.

“I have a counter offer,” Trixie proposed. “Come closer.”

Author's Note

So, I drew a picture of Trixie with her gun in Equestria Girls form. This has been retroactively added to the relevant chapter.

Chapter 24

Trixie faced off with Starburst in the belly of the ocean liner. The two mares circled each other slowly. Trixie held out the switchblade borrowed from her father, mindful that if she wasn’t careful Starburst might snatch it away.

The grey mare with the multicolored mane and ugly cape did not seem to be armed. She also did not seem to mind that fact, and that worried Trixie. Why was Starburst suddenly so intense, and, well, careful? Her gaze remained fixed on Trixie’s blade, but her interest seemed to be more academic than anything pertaining to not being stabbed by it.

Trixie carefully adjusted her magic, floating the switchblade subtly away from herself. She was going to have to time her ruse carefully to avoid Starburst catching on. Positioning herself carefully, Trixie jerked the knife back and drove her forehoof forward, catching Starburst on the side of her face, over one of her tattoos.

Starburst stumbled and Trixie reversed her position, whipping her back legs towards her opponent. One of her hooves hit the other side of Starburst’s face.

Taking advantage of Starburst’s off-balance stumble, Trixie lept forward and knocked the other mare to the deck, pinning her.

There was a brief struggle, but Trixie had the top. Her wrestling effectiveness might have been much enhanced by having eight legs, but Trixie shrugged that idea off. She pushed Starburst’s horn back, the tip touching the metal deck. It was a trick Valiant had taught her, grounding a unicorn’s power.

While a pony like Twilight would have figured a way around it, rerouting energy or simply using more power than could be grounded, the maneuver was enough to keep Starburst at bay.

Trixie brought the switchblade close to Starburst’s throat. A strike to the back of the neck through the spinal cord would be the quickest, cleanest way to kill her. Rather than figuring out how to easily get Starburst on her back, however, Trixie swept her own cape out of the way to avoid getting blood on it and prepared to deal the final slice.

“Just give me the knife and I’ll never bother you again,” Starburst croaked from under Trixie’s hooves.

Against her better judgment, Trixie paused. “What is so special about this knife?”

“It is not of this planet.”

Trixie frowned. She knew she was getting distracted, but was nonetheless intrigued. “What do you mean? My father made this himself, out of scrap metal.”

Starburst shook her head as much as she could. “No. There’s only one thing that calls to me quite like that. It has to be meteorite iron.”

“I don’t believe this,” Trixie shook her head. “My dad never mentioned it before.”

Starburst quirked an eyebrow. While her face still showed pain and slight suffocation, her point got across. “Where did he find this supposed scrap iron?”

Trixie hesitated, dredging up an old memory. “At the bottom of a crater in the ground.”

“There you go.” Starburst wiggled slightly, trying to gain a small bit of comfort in her uncomfortable position.

“And why do you know about meteors?” Trixie prodded.

“It’s kind of my job. Does Starburst ring a bell? I do lots of things in space. This is my first time dirtside, though.”

Trixie blinked. “Wait…you’re from outer space?”

“That’s right. What’s your father’s name, by the way? He may have been the one who I learned the directions to this planet from.”

Pausing for a long moment, Trixie finally gave the name. “Valiant.”

Starburst nodded. “Oh yes, him.”

A few seconds passed. Starburst was not forthcoming, so Trixie demanded, “What about him?”

“Well, I kicked him out an airlock and that was the last I saw of him.” Starburst shrugged. “I rigged a nearby star to explode at about the same time. The blast radius was so large I had to leave quickly.”

Trixie was frozen for a fraction of a second, but then she sprang into furious action. She slammed Starburst’s head against the deck, cracking the other unicorn’s horn violently on the steel. The tip broke off, drops of blood appearing, and Starburst screamed in pain. Striking her again, Starburst fell unconscious.

Breathing hard through gritted teeth, Trixie got off Starburst, stripping the ugly cloak from her and tying it around her neck. She unceremoniously dragged the limp mare through the ship, up ladders and along decks. Her head lolled around and hit everything along the way. Several minutes later, Trixie arrived on the main deck.

The night sky was clear tonight with lots of stars, but Trixie did not stop to admire them. Walking over to the railing, she heaved Starburst overboard.

The full-body immersion of cold salt water seemed to wake her up. Starburst sputtered and coughed, having evidentially swallowed some water.

Trixie yanked her back onto the deck and kicked Starburst in the face before she could recover. She bent down. “Tell me that my dad is all right.”

“Well-” Starburst paused to nearly cough out a lung. “It was a really big star explosion.”

“He’s survived blasts before.”

Starburst managed to look up. “Have you ever seen a star explode? Even when they aren’t going all supernova, every star out there is many times larger than this planet. Hotter and more nuclear, too.”

“I’ll show you nuclear, bitch!” Yanking her by the cape around her neck, Trixie dropped Starburst in the water again. The salt only added to the apparent agony from her cracked, bleeding horn.

Trixie began reaching deep within herself, to a place she didn’t like thinking about. There was a reserve of very distinctive magic that she had not ever wanted to use since becoming reformed. Oh, but it was going to get used now.

Pulling Starburst up the side of the ship again, Trixie pointed her horn at the drenched mare. Her magic flashed green, different than its usual color. Due to Cherenkov Radiation, it theoretically should have been blue, but this was magic radiation after all. Trixie began to focus it, preparing to unleash as much power as she could muster directly at Starburst.

And that was when Trixie became aware of so many other ship passengers watching her little performance in shock. She glanced backwards and her heart jolted as she realized that her legs had doubled. Trixie had lost control, and her original objective of killing Starburst quietly had long since gone out the window.

She put Starburst down on the deck, where the battered mare lay, her only movements to cough up more seawater. Trixie glanced around, spotting security ponies on their way. “Uh, thank you all for attending Madam Trixie’s Incredible Improv Magic Show! Refunds are available in the ship’s ticket office. Have a good evening and thank you for attending.”

Trixie backed up until her extended hindquarters bumped into a bulkhead. Then she trotted as fast as she could for her cabin.

Chapter 25

Trixie slid awake, staring glumly through her cabin’s porthole. It was early morning and the sun was rising. The ship was less than a day from arriving at its destination.

Since beating Starburst bloody the night before, Trixie hadn’t left her bed. She wanted to go find the ship’s security office and con her way into getting enough time to finish Starburst off, but couldn’t summon the energy.

Upon returning to her cabin, Trixie had taken her pills. She’d wanted to brood for a while, but that was hard to do if she wouldn’t fit on the bed. The eight legs had to go.

She reflected silently on how her life had come to this. Turning into a freak if she got angry, tried to use too much magic, or forgot to take her medication was a constant threat looming over her head. On top of that, Trixie couldn’t seem to control it. She knew exactly the consequences, but had still crossed the line on more than one occasion.

The piece of news Starburst had delivered didn’t help. According to her, Valiant was dead, blown up by an exploding star. That was after he was kicked out of his spacecraft into the cold vacuum of space. Trixie didn’t want to believe it. Starburst seemed confident in her words, however. And it would explain why Valiant wasn’t yet home.

Trixie frowned. Then again, Starburst could very well be a liar. In fact, other than her saying so, there was no evidence that she had actually met Valiant. Also, there were a few key details she had never mentioned. Particularly the fact that Valiant had traveled to space with Rexy, a Tyrannosaurus skeleton that Discord had brought to life. With no need to breathe, and especially no need to eat, it had seemed like the ideal companion to take into space. A T-Rex was something Trixie was sure Starburst would have mentioned if she had actually encountered it.

Her sprits lifted somewhat, Trixie got up and stretched. Checking the clock, she saw that it was an acceptable time for breakfast.

She frowned, thinking about what ponies might do if they recognized her. Not only had she attacked another pony, but she’d appeared to be some kind of monster. Trixie shook her head. No, it was dark and it was precisely her modified appearance that would prevent her from being recognized. This morning, she was just another pony.

The fact that she had to worry about such things almost pulled Trixie back into her funk, but she put it off and left her cabin. Breakfast was set up in the dining room. When she got a moment during her meal, Trixie asked a waiter when the ship would be arriving.

“Very soon,” he replied. “Are you traveling on business or pleasure?”

“Pleasure,” Trixie replied.

“Hmm. Well, good luck with that in Germaneigh,” the waiter told her. He moved away to serve other passengers.

Trixie finished breakfast and went to pack her bags. The ship was soon coming alongside the pier and she clustered with the other departing passengers. The ship tied off, and they all went down the gangway.

Germaneigh didn’t look a whole lot different than Equestria. Probably because it was still technically an outlying territory. A weird one to be sure, but still ruled over with an iron hoof by Celestia. Trixie shook her head. Thinking about Valiant early in the morning had got her thinking politics.

With no particular destination in mind, Trixie set off. She hadn’t brought her skateboard, hearing that the quaint villages in this part of the world had cobblestones that might make riding difficult.

Trixie walked down the street for a few minutes. She was looking around at what the city had to offer when a pale blue stallion, an even lighter shade than Trixie herself, stopped her.

He introduced himself, speaking with a thick but understandable Germane accent. “Hello, Ms. Trixie. I am called Berg. I hope you will come with me, please.”

“What’s this about?” Trixie asked. She’d gotten off the ship only minutes before. Somehow, this pony knew she was there.

“My boss has something to show you,” Berg explained.

Trixie cocked an eyebrow. “Okay.”

Berg turned and began to walk. Trixie followed him. They traveled a few blocks before coming to a fairly nondescript building set among a row of others. Berg opened the door and let Trixie in.

The inside had a few small pieces of high-tech stuff lying around on tables and work benches. There appeared to be a few rooms in the back that Trixie couldn’t see.

There were some hoofsteps, and a stallion stepped into the room. Trixie gasped in surprise. It was Detective Gene, of the Mustangeles police department.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. The last time Trixie had seem him, she’d asked Gene a few questions regarding the Have you seen this pony? billboards with Starburst’s face on them. That had been a few weeks ago.

“Well, I told you that I analyzed some of your DNA,” Gene said. “I talked with a few ponies I know in the genetics field and we all agree that you’re something of an anomaly.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Trixie growled.

“Well, I managed to find one scientist who was willing to look a little deeper.” Gene gestured to the back rooms. “He’s here, and I think you should meet him. He wants to help you.”

While getting help sounded like a prudent idea, Trixie was instantly suspicious. “This all seems a little too convenient.”

Gene rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it. The whole process to get that cruise ticket to you was ridiculously complicated. This is why a lot of ponies think that Doctor Octopi is crazy.”

“Doctor Octopi?” Trixie repeated.

“Doctor Octopi,” confirmed Berg.

“Doctor Octopi,” announced an unseen voice from the back rooms. “’Tis I, Doctor Octopi.”

Oh boy, here we go, thought Trixie.

Chapter 26

Trixie stood with Detective Gene and the stallion named Berg. They watched as Doctor Octopi made his entrance. He was old, and the crazy came off him in waves.

Skeptically, Trixie asked, “Why did you want me here?”

“‘My dear, I can correct your condition.’ The doctor nodded and smiled, a little wider than necessary.”

Trixie frowned. “Why are you narrating yourself in third person?”

“Doctor Octopi’s eyebrows went up. He said, ‘whatever do you mean?’”

Gene and Berg shook their heads. Trixie turned for the door. “Yeah, I’m going to leave now.”

“Doctor Octopi raised a hoof and called after her. ‘But aren’t you interested in what I can do for you? I can fix your genetics!’ Trixie stopped and turned, clearly interested to hear more.”

“Stop that!” Trixie ordered. “You can talk about yourself all you want, but leave me out of it!”

“The doctor nodded. ‘Have it your way. So, how about it?’”

The lure to perhaps do something to reverse what radiation exposure had done to Trixie’s body was great. She reluctantly realized that she couldn’t just walk away, not until making a more informed decision. “Fine.”

Berg escorted Trixie into the back room. There were all sorts of fancy equipment components and everything looked suitably menacing. Trixie figured that it was all to do with the doctor’s mad scientist vibe. She wondered if the medical equipment manufacturers had a couple of options in form factor - Hospital Issue, or Asylum Special.

“So what are you going to do?” Trixie asked.

“‘Picture it this way,’ Doctor Octopi explained, entering the room. ‘Would you miss just one cell from your body?’”

Trixie thought about it. “I suppose not.”

“‘Well, there you go. We’ll rebuild you one cell at a time.’ The doctor finished with a flourish of his hoof.”

“One cell at a time,” Trixie repeated. “How long will that take?”

“The doctor shrugged. ‘Years, I expect.’”

That was not the answer Trixie was looking for. Was staying here in this creepy laboratory for so long worth it to alleviate her condition? Much as she hated to admit it, maybe her situation wasn’t that bad. Careful regulation could keep her out of trouble, and it didn’t really take that much to turn her back if she lost control. Besides, who wanted to hang out with a creepy Germane scientist?

“I’m not sure I want to do this,” Trixie decided.

“Doctor Octopi frowned, trying to think of a way to convince her. ‘I would make sure you have the best care.’”

Trixie shook her head. “No, I’m sorry.”

“Well, this certainly put a kink in the doctor’s plans. He tapped his hoof to his chin in thought. ‘What if I offered to pay you?’”

“I’ve got plenty of money already,” Trixie replied. “And you’d have to pay me multiple fortunes to stay here for years.”

“Sweat began to bead Doctor Octopi’s forehead. He couldn’t let this potential specimen slip away! It was time to throw professional morals out the window – not that he’d had any to begin with – and do whatever was necessary to keep Trixie in the lab. He sauntered casually towards the lever on the wall that automatically locked the doors, making small talk to keep his target distracted. ‘So, how about that local sports team?’”

Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “Are you an idiot? You realize I can hear everything you just said, right?”

Trixie swung her gaze to Gene. “You’re a cop, right? He just admitted to planning to hold me against my will.”

Gene shrugged. “We’re a long way from Mustangeles and my authority.”

“Well, then I guess you won’t mind anything I do to him,” Trixie replied.

“Trixie’s words indicated that she may have found him out! Doctor Octopi leaped for the door locking mechanism only to be intercepted by Trixie. She began to severely beat him.”

The first blow from the M60’s stock hit Octopi in the shoulder and knocked him off his hooves. He struggled to get up, but Trixie swung the weapon again, catching him under the chin and sending him flying backwards. This time, he turned away and speedily cleared the area.

“And then Doctor Octopi ran away like a little bitch,” Trixie muttered. She turned around, only to see Berg’s hoof on the lever for the door locks.

“It is a classic technique,” he said with his distinctive Germane accent. “Distract the beast with expendable resources and lure it into a trap.”

He pulled the lever and the room was sealed off with heavy iron grates that descended from the ceiling. Gene started in surprise, clearly wishing he had done something earlier, despite not being in his jurisdiction.

Trixie glared at Berg. “So you’re the mastermind behind this? Then who was Octopi?”

Berg waved a hoof. “The old codger who owns this place. He is getting too old for science, but I am prepared to take his place.”

Berg smiled and moved towards Trixie. “And I will do much science with you.”

Trixie gritted her teeth. “Oh really? What makes you think that I’ll let you?”

“Please, with flaws such as yours? A beast like you could never hope to stand against a pure pony like myself.”

“Well, that sounds kind of racist,” observed Gene.

Ignoring him, Trixie focused her anger and continued the conversation with Berg. “If I’m a beast then clearly you’re an idiot. Ever been to a zoo? There’s a reason ponies don’t lock themselves up together with the exhibits.”

Her first bolt of magic slammed Berg back against the iron grate behind him, the very one he had brought down with the pull of the lever. Trixie started forward, closing the distance between them.

Berg’s eyes had gone wide in the painful realization of his folly that you don’t trap yourself with and then insult an unbalanced mare with radioactive magic and a thing for getting even.

Trixie’s aura flashed green, firing magic in an arc around Berg, slamming into the iron and cutting a hole around him a little bit wider than his body. The hot energy made the metal glow and the next force push Trixie put on Berg shoved his body and the cutout right through the grate.

The pieces of iron that had been severed clattered to the floor. Berg got up shakily and backed away from Trixie. “What are you doing? This is uncivilized!”

“Looking down on somepony because she has a few extra legs is uncivilized,” Trixie snarled. She advanced through the hole in the grate.

“At least I’m not some foul monster,” Berg stuttered, continuing to back away. He got the front door of the building open. “And when I get the chance, I vow that I will kill you and dissect you. Not even for science, just for my own pleasures.”

Well, that certainly made it easier to justify killing him first. Trixie hit him with more magic than she had ever before released in one go. There was a flash of light and Berg went flying through the air in a path that was aimed roughly towards the seaport, a few dozen blocks away.

Trixie could see the ocean liner she’d arrived on, the Titanic docked there. Berg slammed into the hull and went right on through. The ship began to list, taking on water. Shortly, it sank.

Breathing hard, Trixie collected herself. She had hulked out again, but was beginning to realize that it was less of a change than she made it out to be. A few of her miracle drugs and she would be fine. It felt strange to justify it that way, but if she had any hope of ever feeling okay in her own skin, she had to start somewhere.

Gene stepped up beside Trixie, looking warily at her. “So this is what I kept hearing about. I didn’t know you were so powerful.”

Trixie sighed. “Yes, this is the real me. I can usually hide it.”

Gene did not comment on that, and Trixie was thankful. He looked out towards where the ship used to be. “Jeeze, you killed him so hard that he sank the Titanic.”

Trixie slipped on her sunglasses. “You might say that I…iced Berg.”

Chapter 27

Trixie and Detective Gene stood watching from a distance as the salvage ponies raised the sunken ship. Having just pulled into port, nopony had been aboard. Trixie felt a little bad about sinking it, but nopony had to know it was her. Like Gene had said, he was out of his jurisdiction and would not report it. Berg, whose fault this whole mess arguably was, could take most of the blame.

No nutcase ever leaves the world without leaving a hole, if only a small one. With Berg dead, Trixie took a moment to think about him.

A moment passed. Finished thinking about him, she turned to Detective Gene. “Well, I should probably be going.”

“Wait, you aren’t broken up about this? It’s my understanding that this is kind of a sensitive topic with you.”

“I’m doing what I can to get over it.” Trixie tossed her head, indicating her extended hindquarters. She began hunting in her luggage for the antiradiation pills.

“And you aren’t too broken up about killing somepony?”

“Berg got what was coming to him, the prejudiced idiot.” Trixie found her drugs and took a dose. She felt herself shrinking back to four legs.

Gene frowned as he considered Trixie’s opinions. “Now, I’m just a cop with a talent for genetic testing, but I also dabble in psychology. It troubles me that you aren’t showing much emotional reaction to this.”

Trixie gave him a flat stare. “Should I? Do you want me to break down bawling over a bad guy down?”

“Well, I would at least expect you to feel a few qualms about it.” Gene shrugged.

“Berg didn’t.” Trixie turned away. “And even a lowly monster like me needn’t feel sorry for him.”

“Come on, you’re just…uh, different.”

Trixie gave Gene a raised eyebrow, but did not comment on his seeming lack of conviction. Gene tried again. “Look, I just think it’s not healthy.”

“You’re a cop, not a doctor,” Trixie reminded him. She packed up her things and headed for the door.

“Wait, where are you going?” he called.

Trixie hadn’t yet decided that, and just shrugged. She left the building.

The ship certainly wouldn’t be ready to take her home for quite a while. Maybe Trixie could book passage on another one. She might have to travel a little ways to get there, though. The city did not have a large network of docking stations. It really was not a pressing issue; she wasn’t in a hurry.

Walking down the street, Trixie tried to decide what else she could do while in Germaneigh. Nothing came to mind, and for that she was almost sad. Surely the whole country couldn’t be discriminatory mad scientists?

Glancing up, Trixie spotted an airship making its way towards the landing facility at the edge of the city. That sounded like a viable means of transportation, so she headed in that direction.

The facility was fairly new, as airship travel hadn’t been discovered until only recently and most ponies still couldn’t afford it. Trixie walked into the ticket office and perused the map of routes the company flew to, trying to decide on a destination.

The places were quite varied, and some of them were very remote. Going to far corners of Equestria sounded nice. But which one? And where to start? Trixie closed her eyes and pointed to a spot at random. It turned out to be Scoltland.

That really wasn’t very far from Germaneigh, but that was fine. They would likely have passenger liners there and Trixie could go home if she decided that she didn’t like airships.

After buying her ticket, Trixie waited a few minutes for the rest of the passengers to arrive. When it was time to board, they all went outside with an attendant.

The airship was long and shaped a bit like a cucumber. It had a pointier nose and fins on the back, though. A few propellers connected to steam engines were the source of motion. The big airship hovered just a few feet off the ground, waiting for the passengers.

Trixie paused and cocked her head in thought as she read the lettering on the nose. “What the heck is a Hindenburg?”

Chapter 28

Trixie watched as the airship crew prepared for travel. Cargo and luggage were loaded aboard and the steam engines were warmed up.

“I was meaning to ask,” Trixie said, stopping a mechanic as he went by. “This airship clearly isn’t a balloon - it doesn’t rely on hot air for lift. How does it fly?”

“Hydrogen,” the pony answered.

Trixie frowned. “Isn’t that highly flammable?”

“Well, yes, but we’ve never had an accident before.”

Trixie was suddenly not convinced that she wanted to ride this airship.

There was a commotion near the ticket gate. Trixie turned her head and froze at the sight of Starburst shoving her way through the line.

The grey mare looked worse for wear, the tip of her horn missing where Trixie had broken it. Starburst was still battered from their fight aboard the ship, but had gamely tracked down Trixie once again.

Trixie’s mind flashed to the switchblade she carried. The steel had been forged from meteor iron. Was that how Starburst kept finding her?

Starburst’s story about being from outer space and having the ability to detonate stars had not been confirmed, but she was so persistent – and crazy – that Trixie was having a hard time ignoring the fact that her opponent might not be a normal pony.

The crowd of passengers for the airship cleared away indignantly as Starburst shoved her way into line, heading for Trixie. She stopped a short distance away, a sneer working its way onto her face.

Trixie leveled her M60 at Starburst before the other mare could speak. “You don’t take a hint, do you? I thought that after almost killing you on the ship, you might stay away from me.”

“I’m not going to give up that easily,” Starburst retorted. “I want that knife.”

As she spoke, Trixie thought she saw something unusual in Starburst’s mouth. “What part of you did you get tattooed this time?”

“Hmm? Oh, after you tried to drown me and I swallowed all that water, I marked the inside of my mouth, throat, and lungs,” Starburst replied.

What a freak. At least Trixie couldn’t help the oddity of her body – Starburst was doing this to herself on purpose. “I’m beginning to think that you really are an alien, just because no native Equestrian could be so stupid.”

Starburst ruffled her ugly cape. “Enough of this. Fight me.”

Trixie looked around. “Ladies and gentlecolts, you might want to step back.”

When she turned her head to face her opponent, Starburst was already flying in her direction. Trixie tried to react, but only managed to stop herself from being badly hurt as the two of them rolled together towards the airship.

Trixie came up and struck a glancing blow off Starburst’s shoulder. The other mare grunted but kept coming. Her horn was lit up, the broken tip spitting off sparks. Trixie was still worried what she could do with it, even injured.

Trying to open up enough room to bring the M60 to bear, Trixie traded a few more blows with Starburst and backpedaled a little. The switchblade would have been better for close quarters, but with the knowledge that Starburst wanted it, Trixie was reluctant to use the weapon.

The glow from Starburst’s horn increased and she fired a bolt of magic at Trixie. Ducking it, Trixie let the burst go over her shoulder.

An instant later, there was a flash of orange light. Trixie’s back was to the explosion, but the look on Starburst’s face suggested that Big Trouble had been created.

An instant after that, the pressure wave hit. Trixie spread out her cape and surfed the expanding bubble of force, tilting her head to take a horrified look at the place where the airship had been. The fireball of hydrogen was enormous, and Trixie redirected the edges of her cape to take advantage of the hot updraft while casting a shielding spell to keep herself from being cooked.

Rapidly rising into the sky and swinging back to stay in the thermal currants, Trixie’s eyes popped wide open as Starburst came flying out of the heart of the blast, her cape tattered and singed, but her body unharmed.

“No explosion can kill me!” Starburst called, her voice dopplering as she went soaring past Trixie. “Not even an exploding star! Compared to that, this is nothing!”

She kept flying upwards, becoming a tiny speck high in the sky above Trixie.

Trixie paused, looking down at the fire and up at her hated rival. She suddenly realized that after emerging from the fire, Starburst hadn’t had her tattoos and her horn had regrown!

Starburst could be beaten and would be injured. However, fire had made her whole again. Trixie wasn’t sure if that was because it healed her or because it had blown away her body completely and she’d regenerated. Either way, it meant that Starburst effectively couldn’t be killed by normal means.

That put a whole new twist on things. Trixie had so far held back on actually killing Starburst, but the fact that she might not be able to struck her with alarm.

Glancing up, Trixie saw that Starburst had reached the apogee of her flight and had started back down. Shifting to make better use of the continuing updrafts that the raging fire produced, Trixie began to prepare herself.

She felt the magic coursing through her body and her horn felt hot with power. Trixie was going to take the most powerful shot at Starburst that she was able, and hoped that it would be enough. It would have to be.

Starburst tumbled towards the ground. Trixie tracked her as she fell, her vision tinged with green from the radioactive magic pent up in her body. As Starburst fell back through Trixie’s airspace, the mutated unicorn fired a blast of magic more powerful than anything else she had produced in her life – even more than she had hit Berg with. This was different than attacking the scientist. She’d been angry at Berg. Trixie was scared of Starburst.

The release of so much power struck Starburst squarely and transferred so much force that the mare was launched sideways despite the fact that she’d been falling at terminal velocity. She was clouted with so much energy that she whizzed away at incredible speed, blasting off far into the distance and vanishing with a sparkle of light.

Trixie had put so much effort into attacking Starburst that she hadn’t saved enough power for her own stability. With every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and the force of throwing Starburst into the distance also acted on Trixie. She went flying away, far over the horizon.

Author's Note

Y'all were just waiting for the Hindenburg to explode, so I made it happen in the first half, so you wouldn't be in so much anticipation and could concentrate on the story I was trying to tell with the rest of the chapter.

Also, who wants to check out my new story Dead-Eye Darling? It's about Rarity being a badass and hanging out with cowboys.

Chapter 29

As Trixie fell through the atmosphere, it became pretty clear that she was going to hit the ground very hard. This was troubling, but she was having a hard time concentrating. Nearly exhausted from outputting so much magic, there wasn’t much she would be able to do anyway.

She hoped that Starburst was dead. It would best for everypony, really. However, after being practically rejuvenated by the hydrogen explosion, Starburst might not go down so easily. Trixie had given it her best shot, and that might not have been enough.

Which is not to say her best shot wasn’t terrifyingly powerful. Trixie had surprised herself by how much raw magic she’d been able to draw from within herself. After all, it took a lot of energy to send both herself and Starburst flying so far and fast.

Trixie twisted in midair, surprised to see the ocean she'd been flying over giving way to green land. Had she really soared all the way from Germaneigh to…wherever she was now?

Her extended body trailed behind her. Trixie thought that maybe if she spread her eight legs and used her cape as a parachute she might lose enough airspeed that landing would only hurt a lot, instead of incredibly much.

Just as she was getting into position, a spot of yellow showed itself from the ground. Trixie saw it rising up to meet her, realizing it was a pegasus – Fluttershy.

While the timid yellow mare was not very fast, she was able to put herself on an interception course with Trixie, colliding hard but managing to hang on while the airspeed dropped off, using a combination of her wings and Trixie’s cape for drag. The two of them descended to the ground, landing softly.

“Oh my, what happened to you, Trixie?” Fluttershy asked.

“Long story,” Trixie muttered. “But I’m so thankful you were here to catch me. What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Well, I was shoveling coal aboard that ship, but then it sank. I got offered another job here in Scoltland. When an airship departing from Germaneigh arrived, they would pick me up.”

Trixie tried to decide whether to tell Fluttershy that her new job might not be coming after all, or if that would require too much explanation, what with the incident involving Starburst complicating things. However, the question was answered for her when Trixie's head began to swim as exhaustion caught up with her. Trixie lay back, slowly losing consciousness.

While she was asleep, there was some jostling and moving around. Trixie didn’t care. She continued to rest.

It was more than a day later when Trixie opened her eyes. She appeared to be on a bed in a small hotel room. Her hat, cape, and weapons were stacked neatly nearby. Fluttershy’s saddlebags were also there.

Trixie sat up, feeling magically sore. It was not the same thing as physical pain, but it let her know that she’d overtaxed her magical ability, just like if she’d worked her muscles hard.

Happily, under Fluttershy’s care, she’d reverted to four legs. Fluttershy hadn’t even seemed very freaked out about it. Granted, as a caregiver, she was probably used to strange medical conditions. As the Element of Kindness, she was also responsible for rendering aid, no matter how freaky things might get.

Fluttershy came in as Trixie was getting out of bed. “Good to see you awake.”

Trixie nodded. “Thank you.”

Fluttershy came over and helped her up. “I just got a telegram for you. It’s from somepony named Starburst.”

Trixie snatched the piece of paper she held and read it. Like any telegram, it was written with economy in mind and was slightly hard to decipher.

Trixie,

Have not seen the last of me STOP Got to Equestria with push from you STOP Feeling fine, lots of your magic keeping me regenerated STOP Bet you wonder how I knew where to find you STOP Hello-my name is Starburst-space and physics comes easy and calculating your trajectory was not difficult STOP Ha ha ha STOP Equestria will feel my wrath, right after I kill telegram writer and

The message abruptly terminated there.

“That doesn’t sound good,” Fluttershy observed.

“We need to get back home and end this.” Trixie quickly began gearing up. “Where are we? How do we get back across the ocean?

“Well, you flew kind of far inland,” Fluttershy replied. “It sounds like there won’t be any more airship flights, so we’ll need to take a train to the seaport.”

Trixie nodded. “Let’s go.”

They left the hotel and found the train station. Trixie was worried about what Starburst might do now that she seemed to be less an idiot and more an evil genius. They had to get back to Equestria and stop her.

She and Fluttershy waited for the train. A few minutes passed. Nothing happened. Trixie sighed in boredom. “So Fluttershy, why were you traveling around? Is it because of Pinkie?”

All of Ponyville knew Pinkie Pie loved Fluttershy and also knew that Fluttershy didn’t love Pinkie in return. Pinkie herself was the only one who remained blissfully unaware, and Fluttershy was too timid to say otherwise.

Fluttershy nodded in response to Trixie’s question. “After our wedding plans were repeatedly canceled due to unforeseen circumstances, we decided to take a little break. Pinkie was concerned that maybe fate was intervening on purpose.”

Trixie nodded. “I’m sorry if I’m dragging you back to that.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble.” Fluttershy looked away, a little pink in her cheeks. “While I might not appreciate Pinkie’s affection, I guess I’m flattered that somepony likes me.”

“Hold on, didn’t you used to be a model? I’m sure there are lots of ponies out there who would love to be with you.”

Fluttershy frowned. “But that would break Pinkie’s heart if I broke up with her.”

“Wait, you don’t love her yet you’re worried about breaking up? And if the plans had actually worked out you would have gotten married to a mare you don’t have the slightest attraction to?”

Fluttershy ducked her head. “We all have our problems.”

Trixie let out a breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

They went back to waiting on the train in silence. Trixie considered the conversation. It was true what Fluttershy had said. Trixie’s problem was that she was afraid of who she was.

Trixie had done very bad things before being reformed. She may have even been evil. For example, the entire town of Ponyville had been held hostage under the dome she’d created while wearing the Alicorn Amulet.

And putting things in perspective, that was a lot worse than occasionally turning into an eight-legged freak. Trixie sighed and sat back. Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.

Chapter 30

The train pulled into the station near the seaport, coming to a halt. The trip had taken longer than Trixie had expected, but here in Scoltland the towns were closer together and the engine couldn’t go full-tilt. It was a smaller locomotive than Equestrian style anyway. The boiler and pistons couldn’t produce as much power.

Trixie shook her head, pulling herself away from such thoughts. She was supposed to be on vacation here, not thinking about mechanics. Valiant had taught her well.

“We can find a ship here to take us home,” Fluttershy said. “I hope you have the money to pay for your ticket. I can lend you some because I usually get my passage by shoveling coal.”

“No, it’s fine,” Trixie said. “In fact, I could pay for your ticket. You wouldn’t have to work.”

“Well, I don’t know if-”

“It’s okay,” Trixie assured her. “Just because you’re good at it doesn’t mean you have to do it at every opportunity.”

Fluttershy thought for a moment. “Is that why you haven’t been as flashy lately? I don’t remember the last time you did any magic tricks.”

She had a point. Trixie nodded. “I suppose you have a point.”

Fluttershy smiled. “I’d love to see some, if that’s okay with you.”

Trixie thought for a moment. “You know, I think I can do better than that.”

When they found the ticket office at the seaport, Trixie made special arrangements with the company, booking herself as entertainment for the cruise. She would do one show per day in exchange for free meals for her and her assistant. It was not a super deal, but certainly not bad for just walking up and organizing something last minute.

“But who is your assistant?” Fluttershy asked as they made ready to board.

Trixie raised an eyebrow.

“Oh.” Fluttershy looked away. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Relax. I know what I’m doing. I'll take care of most of it.”

Fluttershy turned back, clearly still feeling some misgivings, but nodded. “Okay.”

Trixie smiled. “Let’s go find our cabin. We could use some practice before the show.”

The paddle steamer was not a grand ocean liner, but not a bad little vessel. Its compact size made it easy to find their way around. With a toot of its horn, the lines were cast off and the steamer got underway.

While putting on her old traveling show, Trixie did not usually need many props or anything besides her own magic, but that didn’t mean a little extra wouldn’t be nice. At least the steamer had an event stage.

Coordinating with Fluttershy, they began to lay out a plan for the show while resting in their cabin. Trixie would be doing most of the work while Fluttershy would stand there and look cute. Both of them were okay with the arrangement.

“So how many days do we have before we get back to Equestria?” Fluttershy asked.

Trixie checked the tickets. “It says five.” She frowned. “It also says we’re not headed for the east coast.”

“Really? But I thought that’s what we got them booked for.” Fluttershy frowned.

“Yeah, I know.” Trixie inspected the tickets. “It says we’re actually going to Neigh Orleans.”

“But why would they do that?” Fluttershy wondered aloud. “Did somepony make a mistake?”

Trixie shrugged. “I suppose we could ask one of the crew members. Some of the passengers will probably be angry, but I don’t really mind. I’m not in a hurry to get home and I’ve never been to that part of Equestria.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I just hope we won’t regret this.”

Chapter 31

“Thank you! You’ve all been a wonderful audience!” Trixie took a bow as the crowd applauded. It was her last show aboard the steamer, and her performances had been a success each night.

With a nod to Fluttershy, the two of them left the stage. Despite her timid attitude, the yellow pegasus had been a helpful assistant, and Trixie was sure to let Fluttershy know how much she appreciated it.

Putting on the magic shows had been enjoyable for Trixie. It had been a while since she’d practiced her old staple, performance magic. She still had the knack, and delighted the audiences. Trixie was happy, both to see the same in the faces of the crowd, and also pleased to see that something about her old life was still constant – something from before her entire existence went off the rails.

As she and Fluttershy walked back to their shared cabin, Trixie thought about the vessel’s journey across the ocean. While she would have liked to have spent more time in Scoltland, getting back sounded nice, too. The only thing she had found on the other side of the sea was weirdos.

The steamer steamed on, towards the port of Neigh Orleans. An announcement went through the ship that they would arrive soon. It was nearing midnight, not at all their intended arrival time. Trixie frowned, thinking again that their destination was unusual. She and Fluttershy both agreed that they remembered booking tickets for elsewhere. A few other passengers aboard had noticed the discrepancy, although some had Neigh Orleans as their actual intended destination.

While Trixie didn’t particularly mind seeing Neigh Orleans for the first time, she was far from relaxed. Too many other things had gone wrong. She was trying to see if this was yet another facet of Starburst’s plan to get to her, or that of any number of other ponies who she had encountered.

There was no way of predicting the future, however. Trixie resolved to just take things as they came and be prepared.

When the ship pulled up to the dock, it was quite dark. The passengers disembarked quietly, some muttering about the undesired destination. Fluttershy stayed close to Trixie, casting worried glances around the dark docks.

“Where should we go?” Fluttershy asked.

Trixie shrugged. “I’m sure we can figure it out. We’ll have to hurry, though. With all these passengers arriving with us, the nearest hotels will probably fill up fast.”

The two of them set off, Trixie on her skateboard and Fluttershy managing to keep up overhead. At the end of the pier was a drab industrial complex and a group of darkened buildings.

“This doesn’t look like a passenger port,” Fluttershy pointed out. “I’ve seen plenty of those while shoveling coal for ocean liners.”

This didn't look good. Trixie moved a little slower, her senses sharpening. The other passengers had caught up to them, and they too looked suspicious of their surroundings. Good – that meant Trixie wasn’t being overly paranoid.

“Hey, what was that?” called somepony from the back of the crowd.

“Is someone there?” asked a mare near Trixie, staring into the darkness.

“I don’t like this,” muttered one stallion, speaking what was probably in the minds of most of the crowd.

Worrying reports kept coming in. “I thought I saw something!” “This feels wrong!” “I think we’re surrounded!”

Trixie herself had caught glimpses of movement from the shadows as the group of passengers moved through the industrial complex. Fluttershy tapped her on the shoulder.

“Can it wait?” Trixie asked. “I’m trying to concentrate.”

“Are there…are there fewer ponies with us than there were before?” Fluttershy whimpered.

Trixie spared a glance around her. Sure enough, the crowd had dwindled in size, yet she couldn’t remember actually seeing anypony leave. Hearing Fluttershy’s concern, other members of the group noticed their shrinking numbers.

So of course they decided to scream and run in all directions, thereby dispersing themselves even more. Trixie took a grip on Fluttershy so they wouldn’t be separated and dashed forward, trying to make it through the maze of buildings and into someplace more friendly.

She never saw the invisible wall of energy. Of course not, it was invisible. The point was, she didn’t see it, couldn’t avoid it, and hit it. Being a wall of pure energy, and set up with a specific purpose in mind, the barrier had a pronounced effect on Trixie, jolting her system and releasing a targeted burst of magic that threw her into a comatose state faster than a blow to the head.

Or, to put it another way, she never knew what hit her.

Trixie awoke in a dark place with the feeling that a significant amount of time had passed. There was a rumble of machinery from somewhere.

Attempting to move, Trixie found herself bound by metal shackles around her neck and legs that held her in a fixed position on her back. Around her were the iron bars of a cell. Everything looked very sturdy.

Trying to use magic had no effect. Trixie could feel something on her horn, apparently grounding any spells she tried. She struggled against her bindings, but they didn’t budge.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

Trixie turned her head and eyes as far as she could, spotting Fluttershy in a cell next to hers. The other mare looked frightened but otherwise unharmed.

Fluttershy came over and reached her hoof through the bars, just barely able to touch Trixie. “I was so worried. I didn’t know how long it would take you to wake up.”

“What happened?” Trixie asked.

“We were captured.” Fluttershy looked around worriedly. “I don’t know where we were taken or who these ponies are. They seemed very interested in you.”

Trixie let out a frustrated sigh and looked at the ceiling, which appeared to be made of metal. Now that she thought about it, the rumble she’d heard earlier sounded like steam engines. Where they on a ship?

“Do you know why they were interested in me?” Trixie asked.

“No.” Fluttershy thought. “It might have something to do with your condition.”

“Gah.” Trixie groaned and closed her eyes for a moment. Why couldn’t she just be left alone? Since Valiant had left, it had almost been a parade of things for her to deal with: Starburst, the Cult of Awesome, the alt-universe female version of Valiant, Twilight’s emotional issues regarding alicornhood, Sunset Shimmer, the crazy hateful scientist Berg, and now this.

While only about half of those situations had been caused by ponies directly interested in Trixie’s unique condition, that was still too many. She let out another frustrated sigh. Why her? Why couldn’t they just leave her alone?

Spotting the emotion on Trixie’s face, Fluttershy said, “What’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it?”

“I…yes.” Trixie was not used to spilling her feelings, but if there was anypony who would listen, it was Fluttershy. Trixie slowly talked through the events since Valiant had left. It took a lot of explaining, but they had plenty of time.

Trixie was practically in tears by the end. She held them back only for personal pride. A crybaby was not who Valiant had raised his daughter to be.

Valiant… He had flaws, loads of them, but he cared about Trixie. He was perhaps the only pony Trixie could count on unconditionally to be there for her. At least, when he was there. Trixie hadn’t seen him in…well, she didn’t know how long since he had gone to space. Trixie couldn’t spare the emotion to count the days.

Everything would have been different if Valiant was here. He would have protected Trixie. One way or another, he would have seen to it that no harm would have come to her. All the threats, all the psychos who had taken an interest in her because Trixie was different, they would have never laid a hoof on her. Valiant didn't do things halfway. If he was protecting Trixie, he would have resorted to everything up to and including murder to make sure she was okay.

A tear leaked out of Trixie’s eye. She missed him. And she couldn’t count on him this time.

Chapter 32

“What are we going to do?” Fluttershy asked quietly. She and Trixie were still locked in their respective cells. They had yet to see the ponies responsible for taking them captive.

There had occasionally been slight sways or rolls in the room, and Trixie surmised that it meant they were aboard a watercraft of some kind. The sound of steam engines continued.

“Are you sure you don’t have anything to pick the locks?” Trixie asked again.

Fluttershy shook her head. “No. I’m so sorry, Trixie.”

Trixie sighed. “I guess I can’t really fault you for that.”

“I wish our friends were here,” Fluttershy murmured. “I wish Valiant were here. If anypony would know how to get out of this, it would be him.”

“You seem to speak more highly of him than most ponies,” Trixie observed.

“Well, he wasn’t very nice, but he never singled me out. Usually he was only messed with Rainbow or Twilight.”

“Arguably the two that deserved it the most,” Trixie chuckled. She tried to find another subject. She’d already talked with Fluttershy about how much she missed her father.

“I guess if we can’t figure out how to sneak out, we’ll just have to try brute force,” Trixie said. It sounded very Valiant of her.

“What are you going to try?” asked Fluttershy.

Trixie considered the plan for a moment. “Longwave energy, so that the bars of the cells act as a Faraday cage. That will keep you safe from side effects, and help me keep everything focused.”

She sighed. “This isn’t going to be pretty, though. Even if it works, I’m probably going to transform again.”

Fluttershy reached through the bars to touch Trixie’s hoof comfortingly. “If it works, you shouldn’t feel ashamed. I’m still your friend either way.”

Trixie smiled. “Thank you. It means a lot.”

Fluttershy withdrew her hoof and Trixie closed her eyes, beginning to concentrate. She paused for a moment to take stock of her body. When re-growing up, Trixie had studied under Twilight. She’d learned a little more about the physiological side of magic, and how to get more out of her body. Feeling the metaphorical door that kept her wilder side locked away, Trixie took a deep breath and opened it up.

She felt her skin slide across the floor as her body lengthened, four more legs appearing. At the same time, there was a tickle of the inherent magic that accompanied the transformation.

Opening her eyes, Trixie glanced downward, seeing that only half her legs were now constrained by the four shackles. There was a thrum of magic in her body, focused, purposeful, and undeniably potent. She realized it was the first time she’d ever made the transformation completely on purpose.

Not pausing to reflect on it, Trixie began to funnel magic into her horn, although not yet projecting it. She felt the spell build inside her, almost seeming to take up space as she held it back. Then, with one targeted discharge, she let it go.

The bolt of magic overloaded the horn suppressor, going so far as to slag the metal. Trixie tossed it off before it could burn her and then got her free legs under her, slamming against her restraints forcefully, a second spell adding punch. The metal tore away, chunks of it scattering across the floor.

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said. “I don’t know exactly what I just saw, but that was very impressive.”

Trixie nodded, slightly winded, but still feeling good. “Let’s get out of here.”

It was easy to disengage the locks. Valiant had taught her how to deal with those, after all. As a unicorn, she could manage it even easier than he could.

After they were both free, Trixie led Fluttershy towards the door at the end of the room. Careful to keep her eight hooves quiet, Trixie crept up to the door and listened for activity on the other side.

“I’m tellin’ ya, I heard something in there!” a voice faintly argued.

Well, the speaker was right. Rather than wait for somepony to come investigate the sound of the breakout, however, Trixie aimed her horn at the thin door and blew it in with a puff of magic.

Two stallions were in the next room. The wore little buttons with the letters CB on them. Both jerked in surprise at the sight of Trixie breaking in. While they were busy being astonished, she had time for a quick glance around the room, spotting her things in a glass display case on the far wall. Why they would show off her hat, cape, weapons, and personal effects, Trixie had no idea.

“Who are you?” she demanded.

“We’re the Cult of Badass,” one of the stallions replied, gesturing to his button.

“And despite your freakiness and emotional issues, you are pretty badass,” supplied the other one. “We’ve been following your exploits for quite some time now. We're big fans.”

“So we’re going to eat your brain to become badass ourselves.”

Trixie frowned. “Are you in any way affiliated with the Cult of Awesome out on the west coast? Your business model is almost exactly the same.”

“Psh, as if.” One of the stallions waved a hoof dismissively.

“Here’s a tip,” said Trixie. “Badasses don’t say things like that. Membership buttons aren’t very badass, either.”

“Um, not to interrupt,” broke in Fluttershy, “but why did you take me, too?”

“It’s pretty badass how you handle bears and dragons and stuff,” answered one of the cultists.

“You were going to…eat my brain?” squeaked Fluttershy. Her lip quivered and her eyes started to well up with frightened tears.

Trixie sighed. “Well, now you idiots have gone and done it.”

Both of the stallions looked immensely guilty at making Fluttershy cry. Trixie rolled her eyes and sighed, deciding to spare them any further embarrassment. She yanked her M60 out of the display case in a shower of broken glass, soundly whacking both ponies on the backs of their heads as she brought the machine gun to her. They both fell unconscious.

Quickly gathering her things, Trixie led Fluttershy to the next door. It revealed a staircase and they went up.

The door at the top of the stairs led to the deck of a steamboat, cruising down a wide river. The scenery was pretty, and the sky was clear blue.

The decks of the steamboat were crowded with other ponies, most of them armed. They all wore little CB buttons.

Trixie glanced around. “Fluttershy, stay behind me. I’ll try not to get blood on you.”

Author's Note

Here's a hypothetical question. If Fluttershy were to play an instrument, which one would it be? Or is she really more of a singer?

Chapter 33

“Um, I don’t like this idea,” said Fluttershy as the Cult of Badass closed in around her and Trixie.

“It’s a little late now,” Trixie reminded her.

“But you can just teleport us away or something,” Fluttershy pleaded, pressing herself to Trixie’s side as the CB members closed in.

“I’ve actually never tried that,” Trixie admitted. “That’s really more of Twilight’s thing.”

Fluttershy turned to look at her. “But you’re powerful enough, right? Please try. I just don’t want anypony to get hurt if you can help it.”

Trixie took a look at every member of the cult that was on the boat, knowing that she would probably not have any trouble kicking their collective ass, but at the same time wanting to honor Fluttershy’s wishes.

“Stay close,” Trixie said. “I think I can pull this off, but I have no idea where we’ll end up.”

“Anywhere is better than here,” Fluttershy squeaked as the cultists began to grow more bold, possibly worried that their targets would escape.

“But we’re going to make a deal,” Trixie said as she began to charge her magic. “If they don’t get the hint and back off, then the next time we see them I’m going to kill at least a few.”

“I still don’t-”

Fluttershy’s words were cut off as Trixie cast the teleportation spell. There was a flash of magic and the two of them suddenly appeared in some sort of jazz club. Based on the appearance of the place and the speaking accents of the ponies present, Trixie decided that they had probably ended up in the nearby Neigh Orleans.

Fluttershy looked around, relieved. “This seems much nicer.”

Trixie had to agree. Somewhere along the way, she’d turned back to her regular four legged form, and the environment was certainly much more relaxed. It was a jazz club, after all.

A pony wearing a fedora came over. “Two entries for the jazz competition?”

“No thank you,” Trixie replied. “We were just leaving.”

“You can’t go,” he said. “This is the Cult of Jazz. Once you arrive you must enter the competition or we won’t let you leave.”

“Seriously?” Trixie stared at him with incredulity. She traded a glance with Fluttershy, whose eyes had gone wide.

Looking back to the jazz pony, Trixie asked, “So what happens if we refuse? Because if you’re going to try to eat our brains or something, I’ll kill everypony in the cult before you even know what hit you.”

“Whoa,” the jazz pony raised a hoof. “That’s not what we’re about at all. This is about jazz. It’s supposed to be relaxing and cool. Blues players aren’t about eating brains or holding ponies against their will or any of that silly mumbo jumbo. The Cult of Jazz is just the name of the club.”

“So we could just walk out and you wouldn’t try to stop us?” Trixie asked for confirmation.

“No, we wouldn’t. But we would be very sad.”

“Let’s enter the competition,” said Fluttershy instantly. “I don’t want them to be sad.”

Trixie hesitated, but what did they have to loose? She nodded.

“All right then,” said the jazz pony. “What do you play?”

Trixie and Fluttershy traded glances.

He chuckled. “First timers, huh? That’s okay, we can let you borrow some stuff. Will there be any other members of your band joining you?”

Just then, the door opened and Iron Will came in. He looked around and was immediately met by another member of the club who explained the rules.

“Uh…” said Iron Will, scratching the back of his head. “Iron Will doesn’t really have a band.”

“He’s with us,” chorused Trixie and Fluttershy.

“Hey there,” said Iron Will, his face brightening. “Iron Will didn’t expect to see you two here.”

“It’s a coincidence, considering that we weren’t expecting to be here,” Trixie said. “Did you have a seminar or something nearby?”

Iron Will nodded. “That's right. Iron Will wanted to take a little break and came here. So, about this jazz competition. What can each of us play?”

“I’m pretty decent at the drums if I do say so myself,” Trixie replied.

“Iron Will plays the trumpet a little.” He shrugged. “Got to use this giant lung capacity for something, right?”

They both turned to Fluttershy. She ducked her head meekly and murmured, “I can’t really play any instruments in a jazzy way.”

“We might be able to use you as a singer,” Trixie mused.

Iron Will nodded. “Good idea. If playing isn't your thing, you can always sing.”

“But I don’t know any jazz songs,” Fluttershy said.

“No problem, just sing scat and we’ll go from there,” Trixie replied.

Fluttershy nodded hesitantly. “I guess I can do that.”

While she would never admit it, Trixie thought that maybe the Flim Flam brothers would be a nice addition to the band. They could at least compose lyrics on the spot. Fortunately, this band would be a one time thing and if she could help it, she would never play music again. The whole cult aspect had really turned her off.

They took the stage, which was covered with instruments to use. Trixie settled herself behind the drum kit. One of the jazz ponies gave Iron Will a clean mouthpiece and he fitted it to a trumpet. Fluttershy went to the microphone.

There was nervous tension in the air. While nothing had been said about a certain level of performance to be able to leave the club, all of them did feel like doing their best – or at least not making fools of themselves.

Trixie tapped a beat - 1, 2, 3, 4 - and they began.

“Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo.”

Fluttershy’s lyrics were fitting with her mumbling speech, although the microphone made them audible to the rest of the jazz club. Back by Iron Will’s trumpet and Trixie’s drums, Fluttershy appeared to gain a little confidence and went through another few rounds of scatting.

“Shoo be doo, shoo be da, shoo be da da da, hapdeedoobydoowop, weebydeebydeewoo, shoo be doo be doo da day!”

It was, Trixie reflected, the first time she’d ever done a show jointly with other performers, not with just an assistant. While it wasn't her usual style, it didn't take anything away from true showmareship.

She smiled. It sounded good.

Chapter 34

The jazzing went off without a hitch. Trixie was not exactly sure if “jazzing” was a word, but it seemed fitting for playing jazz music. There was enthusiastic applause when she, Fluttershy, and Iron Will finished playing in their impromptu band.

One of the Cult of Jazz members approached them afterwards. “You’ve more than earned your freedom, but do you think you could stay a while and do another show? We’d all love to hear it.”

Trixie still did not like the connotation that they were being held against their will, whether that was just a joke or not. Still, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with a little more jazzing, and her two cohorts agreed.

So they jazzed for a while longer. The Cult even bought them complementary dinners and a supply of drinks to show their appreciation.

Even if the Cult of Jazz seemed to be so benign to be basically a cult in name only, Trixie did wonder what was with all the cults popping up recently. Somepony should do an inquisition or something.

After finishing another set, Fluttershy claimed that her voice was getting tired. Iron Will was more blue in the face than usual from blowing his trumpet.

“Iron Will’s hotel room came with two beds for some reason,” he said, shrugging. “You two could have a place to stay tonight if you were willing the share a bed.”

“Sounds good.” Trixie nodded.

Fluttershy agreed as well. “I’m okay with sharing a bed with you, Trixie. You surely aren’t as touchy-feely as Pinkie.”

Another cultist approached just then. “I know you three have already made some beautiful music here tonight, but I thought I would ask if you could stay a bit longer. You’re having fun, right?”

Trixie was getting a little tired, and she could see her friends were feeling the same. However, the jazz pony had asked so nicely and jazzing was rather enjoyable. The three of them agreed to keep playing.

More time passed. Trixie’s drumming was getting a little erratic after playing three shows in a row. Iron Will was now only blowing faint, halfhearted notes on his instrument. Fluttershy was hoarse, sounding almost like she’d picked up a debilitating illness.

It was now late at night. Trixie was ready to go, and the three of them were heading for the door when they were stopped again by a prospective jazzer. “Hey there, I know it’s not my place to ask any more of you, but by chance could you do another show? You sounded excellent. Please?”

“Oh, I…um, okay,” Fluttershy managed to communicate. She paused and coughed painfully.

“If you want,” Iron Will murmured listlessly.

“No, screw this,” Trixie declared.

Everypony, her bandmates, the jazzy cultists, and the rest of the performers and audience members suddenly went completely silent, staring at Trixie. She looked around, realizing the amount of attention focused in her direction. Like any true showmare, however, that was just fine with her.

Trixie hopped up on the stage and grabbed the microphone. “My dad once said to me, ‘never trust a cult.’ While the Cult of Jazz is one of the nicest cults I’ve encountered, that doesn’t make them harmless.”

She looked at the nearest, jazziest pony and said, “You give us the illusion of freedom, but that was never your intention, was it? You were just going to keep us here for as long as possible? Maybe until we died or assimilated?”

Jazzy gave her an unpleasant look. “Most don’t catch on so quickly, if at all.”

“Yeah, well thank my dad for that. I might run into a lot of cults on my own, but he’s the one who taught me how to deal with them.”

Trixie dropped the mic and got off the stage, heading for the door. “Come on Fluttershy, Iron Will.”

A group of cultist jazzers, jazzy cultists, and jazzists blocked their way. “Oh no, you see it won’t be so simple. We challenge you to a battle of the bands!”

“Um, maybe we should. It’s less violent than fighting,” whispered Fluttershy as well as she was able.

“And they are challenging us,” Iron Will pointed out. “It would be impolite to refuse.”

“Buck that,” Trixie growled as the jazzy ponies launched into a set of their own, their tightly spaced band blocking the door. Even as the jazz flew fast and thick, she started to charge her magic. If they wouldn’t make a hole to let Trixie and her friends out, she was going to create one. A very jazzy hole.

Even in the short time it took to ready her spell, the jazz was well and truly piled up thickly by the time Trixie was ready. She used a basic force spell to throw the jazzers aside and clear a path to the door. That didn’t stop them, however, and the music continued as Trixie ushered Fluttershy and Iron Will forward.

And that’s when the real jazzing started. A saxophone player on a hot solo jumped out, standing with his back to the door. Between the sax and the jazzing, he was probably confident that nopony would interrupt such a performance.

Deprived of a chance to kill cultists the last time around, and by this point completely pissed, Trixie picked up a drumstick from where she had left it on the stage and flung it like a rocket towards the saxy jazzist. Violently going through his instrument, his body, and the doors behind him, the kinetic force blew the doorway and parts of the wall out, the power nearly ripping the unfortunate musician apart, rendering one final toot on his horn.

With the doors destroyed, jazz went everywhere. Trixie, Fluttershy, and Iron Will surfed a wave of it out into the street, making it to the next block before losing sight and sound of so much jazzing.

Trixie wondered who was going to clean it all up.

Chapter 35

It was midmorning when Trixie awoke. She and Fluttershy occupied opposite sides of the same bed while Iron Will took up most of the other bed by himself. The hotel room was not far from the jazz club, but they had all been too tired to be kept awake by the sirens and sounds of emergency ponies responding to the environmental disaster of jazz spillage that had occurred there the night before.

Sitting up, Trixie yawned and stretched, glancing around the room. She and Fluttershy were headed back to Ponyville today, but there was no great hurry. Getting out of bed, Trixie gathered her things.

Iron Will and Fluttershy woke up shortly and the three of them made ready to leave. They settled the bill and exited the hotel. After finding a place for breakfast, they stood back out on the street.

“I think the train station is this way,” Trixie said.

“Iron Will will go with you. Iron Will needs to find a laundry shop to iron Iron Will’s ironing.”

“You should consider switching to first person,” Trixie told him. “I know it’s a good show shtick, but it gets a little tiring sometimes.”

Iron Will shrugged thoughtfully. “Maybe.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Maybes are for babies.”

Chuckling, Iron Will replied, “But when your name’s your game, it’s got to stay the same.”

There was a surprising lot of wisdom in the minotaur.

Trixie asked, “What have you got to iron, anyway?”

Iron Will indicated his tie. “Professionalism is very important in Iron Will's line of work.”

They entered the train station and looked at the departures board. Ponyville was a stop on the route of The City of Neigh Orleans, a daily train. It had a few luxury cars attached, which actually advertised free ironing.

“Well, there wasn’t anything keeping Iron Will here,” he speculated. “Maybe Iron Will could just come along with you.”

“Sure, sounds good,” agreed Trixie.

“Just hope nothing like last time we rode a train together happens,” Iron Will murmured.

“What happened?” asked Fluttershy.

“An encounter with crooks,” Trixie replied. “A stallion named Stabby Hooves and his gang attempted a robbery.”

“Oh, I think I’ve heard of him,” said Fluttershy. “Isn’t he a cousin of Derpy or something? I heard that he used to be a medical student but couldn’t handle the pressure. I think his real first name is actually Tender.”

“What ever happened to him?” Iron Will asked.

Trixie shrugged. “Still in Appleoosa's prison, probably.”

Of course, it’s always the little things that Chekov picks up on. Sometimes they’re more obvious than others. In this case, the mention by name of a character from much earlier is a surefire way to get them to appear. It’s practically like a summoning ritual, and dangerously close to breaking the fourth wall. Although really, why call it a fourth wall when sometimes you’re viewing the action through another perspective, like in a top-down video game would the equivalent be breaking the ceiling? And speaking of-

“No need to worry about him, then,” said Iron Will, interrupting and also probably tempting Fate into kicking off the conflict.

“But what would we do in the event of a train robbery?” Fluttershy asked, worried.

“Well, we’d kick ass,” said Trixie, her eyes narrowing behind her sunglasses.

“We'd do even better now that we’ve had some practice,” agreed Iron Will, cracking his knuckles.

Chekov slunk back into the shadows and vowed to get even later, when they least expected it.

The three of them boarded the train. Fluttershy thought about going up to the engine to help shovel coal, but decided that it might be nice to just hang out with friends. Trixie saw her considering it, though.

There was an interesting topic. A pony’s special talent was something they were best at, but what about secondary talents that they didn’t get a mark for? Twilight was good at organizing things. Pinkie was good at, um – Trixie frowned – being a lesbian, maybe? But more seriously, what about ponies with more than one secondary talent? Like Fluttershy, who could sew and shovel coal.

Trixie wondered for a moment about her own special talent and any possible secondary talents. She was quite skilled with show magic, but after going through the effects of the deaging spell, having to grow up again, and reearning her cutie mark, she wasn’t sure exactly where she stood. She glanced down at her hip thoughtfully.

The train began to move. It was an older model, not one converted by Valiant to be faster. Still thinking about cutie marks, Trixie considered him. Valiant seemed to have a talent for mechanical creation, although apparently he hadn’t had the same ability – or at least not the same resources – when still human.

Trixie let out a breath and looked out the window as the train gained speed to leave the city behind. The topic of cutie marks sounded like something Twilight would be more knowledgeable about. Besides, this wasn’t a good time to think about her father.

Trixie had noticed that those times had been growing more and more sparse lately. Just like Valiant himself, his influence seemed to be slipping away. Even the trains he had outfitted with new technology were breaking down with nopony who knew how to give them regular maintenance. Eventually, all traces that Valiant had ever existed would be gone.

Perhaps that was for the best. After the shakeup that everything in this universe was horribly out of whack, and Valiant had been the cause of most of it, getting things back in balance had been a priority for all involved. That was part of the reason Valiant boarded a space rocket. He wanted one last hurrah before leaving Equestria so it would go back to normal.

Trixie frowned. Was that the best possible outcome – that Equestria would simply forget him? There were no easy answers.

She gazed out the window and the train rolled on.

Chapter 36

As always, homecoming was pleasant for Trixie. She smiled as the train pulled into the Ponyville station.

Disembarking with her friends, they spent a few minutes talking before going their separate ways. Iron Will was headed for the hotel, where he would have a seminar. Fluttershy was going to check on her animals and perhaps avoid Pinkie.

Trixie headed for the library. She was slightly surprised to see smoke coming from the chimney and lights on inside.

Opening the door, Trixie saw that everything had been cleaned and was looking more like an operating library again. She closed the door and a voice called, “Just a minute!”

Spike appeared from around a stack of shelves. “Oh hey, Trixie. Good to see you again.”

Trixie gave him a hoof bump. “So are you and Twilight moving back here?”

Spike shrugged. “I’m not really sure, although Twilight sent me to Ponyville to get the place cleaned up. She’s been working with Sunset Shimmer back in Canterlot, and I think she wanted to try moving Sunset here to see if the small town atmosphere would help rehabilitate her.”

Trixie thought for a moment. She was initially not agreeable to the idea considering what Sunset had done, but then she remembered that a second chance in Ponyville was exactly how her own life had been turned around. “So after getting her calmed down from taking over Equestria, you’re giving Sunset a chance to start over?”

“I guess so. I don’t really know much about it.” Spike glanced around as if the two of them were not alone and lowered his voice. “Although, I’ve heard a few strange things about the program. Twilight doesn’t talk much about it, but I think they did some pretty serious stuff to Sunset to change her.”

“Hmm.” Trixie thought about that for a moment, but then shrugged. It wasn’t her problem, and Sunset probably deserved it before earning her second chance. “Anyway, is it okay if I continue to stay here?”

“Sure.” Spike grinned. “Rarity has been taking care of me until Twilight gets here. I’m sure that when Twilight hears that you’re with me, she’ll trust me to have a little more freedom.”

“I thought you liked Rarity?” Trixie asked.

Spike grinned wider. “Freedom with Rarity.”

Trixie didn’t judge.

As the day went on, Trixie unpacked and slowly reacclimated herself to the slow pace of life in a sleepy little town. After traveling so much, it was nice.

She went out to look for a place to have a late lunch. Touring the town leisurely, she spotted Guinness and his griffon buddy working on a building. Trixie remembered that they were opening some sort of pub.

As Trixie walked by, Rainbow Dash appeared, apparently to see Guinness. She looked quite pregnant, and as Trixie mentally calculated how far along she must be, the numbers didn’t add up. Oh well. That certainly was not her problem.

Trixie continued down the street, stopping by the coffee shop. They had a few pastries and sandwiches available for lunch. She watched the house band for a little while, glad that none of them were even attempting jazz.

A few ponies recognized her and urged Trixie to show off her skills at drumming, but she politely declined. Even for a mare like her, there was only so much showing off that could be done. After her extended trip, Trixie had experienced about enough of that.

After eating, she headed back towards the library. A small object flew over Trixie’s head and landed in the street in front of her, popping open to release a cloud of smoke.

Trixie stopped short and glanced around to see who had thrown the smoke bomb, however, a cackling laugh brought her attention back to front and center. Starburst appeared through the cloud, looking healthier and more menacing than Trixie remembered.

Taking a defensive stance, Trixie lowered her head and prepared to charge a spell if necessary. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to see you, Trixie.” Starburst ruffled her cape and her grin got a little wider. “You see, I’ve done some thinking and decided that I should be a little more direct. Your father’s meteor-iron knife is a great prize, but honestly after all the trouble you’ve caused me, I made the decision that I should just get rid of you once and for all. Then, I can have the knife and anything else in Equestria that I want. I’m challenging you to a duel.”

“Sure.” Trixie gritted her teeth. “I’d be happy to kill you. How do you want it – magic, bullets, or blades?”

“You know those things won’t harm me.” Starburst smirked. “Surely you’ve noticed that despite whatever punishment you threw at me, I’ve only come back stronger. I am not of this planet.”

A little of Trixie’s confidence faltered, but she didn’t let herself show it. What could she do to defeat Starburst? The Elements of Harmony seemed like a good bet. Trixie made a show of shrugging. “You might think you’re invulnerable, but you haven’t seen everything yet.”

“Oh, I haven’t?” Starburst actually sounded interested. “Well, stars and supernovas put on some of the best shows in the universe. I seriously doubt you can top that.”

Trixie forced herself to grin confidently. “Want to bet?”

“Oh, absolutely. But there’s no way you could ever put on a better spectacle than me. I mean, showing off is the source of my power after all.”

Oh really? Trixie attempted to keep the revelation off her face. It did explain why she had previously beatdown Starburst so easily, because she had always interrupted the crazed mare before she could show her stuff. Surviving the airship explosion was apparently because the blast had been so extreme: basically, a huge show.

“So all I have to do to defeat you is put on a better show?” Trixie asked for confirmation.

“It’s not like you will actually be able to,” Starburst scoffed. “Even if I give you a day to prepare there’s no way you could outdo me.”

“Be here tomorrow and we’ll see,” Trixie told her.

Starburst nodded in agreement. She grinned and vanished in a puff of smoke.

With no time to waste, Trixie sprinted for the library.

Author's Note

Remember six months ago when I posted this? Yep, the payoff is almost here.

Chapter 37

Forming a plan to defeat a seemingly indestructible adversary was never easy. Unfortunately, the burden of that fell on Trixie.

She burst into the library. “Spike!”

“Huh? What is it?” Spike asked, looking up from his library tasks.

“We’ve got a big problem. I need you to send a letter.”

“Sure.” Spike grabbed a quill and scroll. He looked up expectantly.

Trixie paused just long enough to collect her thoughts. “We need the Elements of Harmony here in Ponyville to defeat an evil mare called Starburst. Based on what I know about the threat, we’ll need to make the showdown as flashy and impressive as possible – literally a showdown.”

Spike looked a little confused, but took down the letter. “I think most of the Element Bearers are already here. We’ll just need to get Twilight back from Canterlot.”

Trixie nodded. “Do it. Tell her to study up on her magic tricks. I’ll go round up the rest of the Bearers.”

Spike sent the letter off with a puff of fire and Trixie grabbed her skateboard, heading out the door as fast as she could roll. She found Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner, easily convincing her to skip work and come along. Rarity was at the Carousel Boutique and joined the quest as soon as she heard about the problem. At Sweet Apple Acres Applejack formed up with the growing crew. Fluttershy was at her cottage and quickly dropped what she was doing.

Rainbow was in town, at Guinness’ pub. On the way there, Trixie and the mares following her ran across Iron Will, who was still in town.

He saw that they were intent on something. “What’s going on?”

“Remember Starburst?” Trixie quickly explained. “She’s actually an alien who is evil. I’m gathering the Elements of Harmony to fight her.”

Trixie paused, an idea coming to her. “Actually, I was hoping you might be able to help. The way Starburst fights is through showmareship. Maybe you could give the girls some pointers on how to be better at that.”

Iron Will shrugged. “A friend in need gets Iron Will’s help indeed.”

After grabbing Rainbow, the group of them met back at the library. Spike had gotten a reply to his letter and said that Twilight was on her way. With time to spare until she arrived, it seemed prudent to begin brainstorming a strategy.

Trixie explained what she knew about Starburst. She realized that it was an unusual situation for the Element Bearers, as they typically were thrown into conflicts on a whim and had to respond however they could think up on the spot.

In fact, Rainbow pointed that out quite clearly when she said, “We’ve never had to practice for anything before. Why are we so worried now?”

Trixie wanted to argue that they hadn’t fought Starburst before like she had, but realized how that might sound. More calmly than she felt, she explained, “I just think it would be prudent to be ready. You may not have gotten practice before, but if given the opportunity wouldn’t you like to have some?”

“I would love to be able to organize my schedule around this,” Rarity commented. “If I could plan on an easy victory, that would be grand.”

“I reckon that I agree,” added Applejack. “I got lots of work to get done.”

“Good, so we’re all ready to glitz up this fight,” Trixie summarized. “Let’s work on that.”

“Iron Will was thinking of perhaps a rock band,” the minotaur mused. “Or maybe hard ska.”

“Interesting,” Trixie said. “Okay, what can everypony play?”

Applejack raised a hoof. “I can play the banjo.”

“Screw your banjo,” Trixie cut her off. “Anything else? Any of you?”

“I think Guinness can play the bass, but he doesn’t have one around,” Rainbow said.

“We might be able to get it from somepony around town, along with a drum set for me, and a trumpet for Iron Will, but that’s barely a house band, much less a rock band.” Trixie sighed. “We still need a show of some kind. Okay, Plan B. What do you all know about the circus?”

“Did somepony say show?” called a two-part chorus of voices from down the street. The Flim Flam brothers came walking up.

It was clear that they weren’t on the best of terms with the Element Bearers, but they were in the show business. Trixie immediately seized the opportunity in front of her. “Hello you two. How would you like to join us in out-showing Starburst? She’s coming here tomorrow to challenge us.”

“What does that entail?” Flam asked.

Trixie gestured. “You two, Iron Will, and I will design a show that is sure to wow anypony. Also, the Elements of Harmony will be there.”

“We do kind of owe her some payback,” said Flim.

“But why the Elements?” asked Flam.

“For the spectacular magic rainbow they make, obviously,” replied Flim.

“Uh, that’s part of it, yeah,” Trixie said. “Well then, let’s get started.”

The practice did not go spectacularly, as trying to organize so many different show styles into one was insanely difficult. Trixie was still counting on the Elements, but wanted to be absolutely sure that something would work. Against an opponent that could apparently explode stars at will, it had better.

And so to that end, that afternoon in Ponyville, the world’s most desperate variety show was born.

Chapter 38

When Twilight stepped off the train in Ponyville that morning, Trixie was there to meet her. It was very important that they get their act together before Starburst appeared.

Iron Will could get the crowd pumped up. The Flim Flam Brothers, backed by Trixie on the drums, could provide a good opening act. The Elements of Harmony had the kind of star power crowds like to see.

Unfortunately, Trixie still didn’t know if that was going to be enough of a show to defeat Starburst. She was counting on Twilight to come up with either a strategy or enough power to be the deciding factor.

Twilight was studying a pile of books as she got off the train, which Trixie took to either be a good or bad sign. Either she had found plenty of material to read about Starbust’s kind of alien, or she hadn’t and was trying desperately to find some.

So engrossed in her reading was Twilight that she almost walked by Trixie before the magician cleared her throat.

“Oh, there you are, Trixie.” Twilight closed her book. Trixie noticed that the cover indicated that it was a psychology text.

Twilight turned. “Come along, Sunset. The library is this way.”

Sunset Shimmer, looking rather meek and humble followed Twilight off the train. Trixie raised an eyebrow. “I take it she’s been reformed?”

Twilight nodded. “I’m going to set her up as the new Ponyville librarian. She needs a job and a way to readjust to society.”

Sunset didn’t say a word, not making eye contact with anypony. She looked…not timid like Fluttershy, but broken. While she probably deserved whatever she got for trying to take over that school with an army of teenage zombies, Trixie couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable. She wanted to ask what had been done to Sunset, but this was not the time.

Changing the subject, Trixie said, “Are you ready to put this show together, Twilight?”

“I’ll be there,” Twilight told her.

Trixie paused. “You aren’t going to discuss strategy with me or practice or anything?”

“Life goes on,” Twilight said. “The way I see it, what will be will be.”

“Uh, no, you’re Twilight Sparkle; that isn’t how you see it,” Trixie protested. “What is with you? When did you get so caught up in fate and mortality?”

“Look, a lot of things have been going on in my life lately,” Twilight spat. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to the library.”

Sunset obediently followed her, hurrying like somepony who didn’t want to be whipped for dawdling. Trixie stood there and stared after them.

She shook herself after a moment and headed for the stage that had been hastily erected in the center of town. The Flim Flam Brothers were there, chuckling about the word “erected.”

They promised that they had a song ready to go and Trixie checked to see if the microphones were set up. She found Iron Will flexing in front of a mirror and muttering through his lines. He gave her a thumbs up as she passed by.

Trixie continued on to Rarity’s shop and went inside. The fashionista was putting the finishing touches on a large piece of purple fabric that was liberally covered in gemstone sequins.

“Hello Trixie, I’ve created what you asked for.” Rarity showed off the large-size cape.

“It looks great.” Trixie carefully inspected the garment. “I think this is exactly what I needed.”

She concentrated hard and felt her body lengthening. Changing into her eight-legged form had been gradually growing easier. Once her transformation was finished, the cape fit perfectly.

Trixie picked up her wizard hat which had been modified to accommodate more glitter. Rarity gave her a pair of glitzy sunglasses. “You certainly look outlandish.”

“It’s what I was going for.”

Rarity nodded. “I also went to the trouble of creating outfits for the occasion. I think the girls should look their best.”

She showed off six costumes that each sparkled like the diamond fragments that coated them. “Too over the top?”

“No, it’s fine. See you at the show.” Trixie left the shop. She walked back to the stage and sat down behind the drum set. Half a dozen pairs of drumsticks were already there. Of course she couldn’t play with that many at once. One pair was a backup just in case she broke some of the others.

The Flim Flam Brothers went through a few vocal warm up routines. Iron Will finished up his practice and positioned himself in front of the stage. The Elements of Harmony, outfitted in their Element jewelry, costumes, and a generous helping of makeup, took their places.

The townsponies saw the spectacle forming and actually came to see the show. This was probably not the best thing for their safety because of the very important duel about to occur, but perhaps the battle of the shows could be judged by audience reaction.

It was then that Starburst appeared at the end of the street and swaggered forward. Everypony (and minotaur) on stage narrowed their eyes as she approached. It. Was. On.

“Fillies and gentlecolts!” Iron Will roared, throwing his muscular arms skyward. “Today we have for you the most awesome show that has ever existed and it is one hundred ten percent free!”

A murmur ran through the crowd as if wondering how something could be more than one hundred percent free. Twilight answered the question by distributing bits from her Princess-paid stipend. The crowd cheered.

Iron Will began again. “Before today is over, you will have the time of your life! If you live here in this town, you’d better not be wearing a frown!”

“With free cupcakes!” Pinkie added, passing out said pastry to the crowd. They voiced their approval with shouts and hoof stomps.

“For those of you who are about to rock, to our performance, flock!”

It was admittedly a bit of an awkward rhyme, but Iron Will was drowned out by Trixie hitting the drums. She launched into a beat that nopony had ever heard before, as nopony had ever encountered an eight-legged drummer who also had magic.

Backed by the erotically dancing Elements of Harmony, the Flim Flam brothers had the motivation to sing what was undoubtedly the finest song of their lives.

Welcome back our friends to the show without end

To our pockets your money send

Come inside! Come inside!

There, with fine ass, is a mare with utmost class

But be careful as you sass

Move along! Move along!

Come inside, the show's about to start

Guaranteed to blow your head apart

Rest assured you'll get your cupcake's worth

The greatest show in sky, sea or earth.

You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.

You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll…ohhhh!

Twilight and Trixie launched flurry of magic fireworks backed by a disco light show from Rarity. Rainbow struggled to gain altitude with her pregnant belly but managed to spread a very nice rainbow over the stage from swiftly gathered clouds.

The crowd exploded into the most thunderous ovation that Trixie had ever heard in her years of performances. They whooped and hollered, applauding their little hearts out.

Starburst pushed through the cheering ponies, fighting her way to the front of the crowd. The look on her face was one that Trixie didn’t like.

“Not bad,” Starburst screamed over the crowd. “Not bad at all. I don’t really have a show that can top that. Guess I’ll just have to blow up the sun. Not only will that be the show to end all shows, but you’ll be dead.”

That suddenly quieted the crowd. Rainbow said, “Ha! You’re trying to blow up the sun? Princess Celestia will wipe the floor with you!”

There were a few seconds of silence. Everypony looked around, waiting for the Princess to show up.

“That isn’t how it works,” said Twilight. “She might be godlike, but she’s not omnipotent. Just because somepony made the threat doesn’t mean she heard it and can come correct them.”

“Well don’t just tell Starburst that!” Rarity exclaimed. “You could have fibbed a little and bought us time rather than just admitting that we can’t do anything to stop her!”

“What’s the point?” Twilight demanded. “She’s more powerful. If I’m going to die, I would like it to be efficiently.”

“Then why did you bother bringin’ that pony Sunset Shimmer here and making her the new librarian if you expected to lose this fight?” Applejack asked.

“It was on the off chance we didn’t lose,” Twilight replied. “It’s not like we can really change fate, so I wanted to be prepared for either eventuality.”

Trixie shook her head. “All of you quit your bitching. We’re not out of options yet. You still have the Elements.”

“Well, they’re not going to work with all this arguing going on,” said Pinkie. “If we’re going to die anyway, I have some things to take care of first.”

Pinkie grabbed Fluttershy and started making out.

Panic was threatening to take over Trixie’s mind. Was there anything that could be done? Could she at least convince her friends not to go down without a fight? And then, a final, desperate plan came to her.

“There’s one last thing,” Trixie said. “Twilight, you aren’t going to like this.”

Trixie reared up on her back legs and yanked Pinkie and Fluttershy apart. There was no time to be gentle with them or with the other Elements. She positioned Twilight in the center of a circle made of the other five.

“Sorry,” Trixie said as she forcefully held the others in place with her magic.

She began to recite a spell, one that she remembered quite clearly because of the trouble it had caused the last time it was used. While it was unethical to use on nonconsenting participants, irresponsible, and a little insane, there was no other choice.

From all of us together, together we're friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!

The Elements of Harmony lit up with light so bright that it was impossible to look at directly. From behind her sunglasses, Trixie saw the whole thing. In the center of the circle, Twilight was blasted with five beams of multicolored light, just as her own Element seemed to go almost supernova.

There was a blinding flash of light, and Twilight Sparkle was an alicorn.

Again.

As the magic dissipated, Twilight took a deep breath and looked out at the stunned crowd who had just witnessed the first public realicornification in history. This was the greatest show the world had ever seen, bar none.

Starburst gulped. “Uh, about that sun…”

Twilight lowered her horn and fired a blast of magic that hit Starburst squarely before she could say another word. There was a flash of light and nothing was left but a small pile of ash. For all Trixie had done in an attempt to kill Starburst, an alicorn’s power easily wiped her off the face of the planet.

Twilight’s lip twitched as she stared at the ash. “I’ll have to work on my efficiency. I meant to atomize her completely.”

Trixie stared openmouthed, still slightly in shock over what she had wrought. Surely with so much power Twilight could have instead reformed Starburst? In the gender swapped universe, Starburst’s equivalent seemed rather harmless. There was also the billboard Trixie had seen in Mustangeles that possibly painted Starburst as a runaway from home. Was it possible that the star-destroying alien was just inhabiting somepony’s body? There was still so much that could have been done, so many different outcomes, and Twilight had just erased that possibility by tossing aside Starburst as if her existence and possible reformed future was meaningless.

Twilight turned away. “I’m going to Canterlot.”

The other Element bearers stood for a few moments, but began to disperse, handling the aftermath of the show in their own ways.

Trixie stood there for a long while. She’d seen a lot of shit in her time, thereby becoming jaded and desensitized, but this…this was something she had a hard time processing.

She tried to ask herself what her father would do. He was the king of solving strange situations. He knew how to make her feel better about herself. But as Trixie stood there, no answer came to her.

And then it started to rain.

Author's Note

Credit where credit's due: Emerson, Lake, & Palmer - Karn Evil

Chapter 39

Sunset Shimmer was quiet and kept to herself. Since arriving back in Ponyville, Trixie had been staying at the library pretty much as a default. Despite her proximity to Sunset, the two of them hadn’t really interacted.

Sunset’s manner continued to give Trixie the creeps. She was not only meeker than Fluttershy, her attitude resembled a puppy who continuously had a boot ready to kick at any moment hanging over its rump.

While that was still preferable to Sunset as a demon trying to take over the world, it wasn’t much better. What had been done to her – what Twilight had done – was very disturbing.

Trixie got off the couch that morning and began to pack. It had been a few days since the showdown with Starburst, but things weren’t quite back to normal. Twilight was the problem.

Trixie’s plan was pretty simple. She was going to go to Canterlot to speak to Twilight. What she had to say wasn’t particularly pleasant, but it needed to be said. There was something very wrong, and not just Twilight’s alicornhood.

The possibility that Twilight would atomize Trixie in response was small, but the fact that it existed at all was a clue to how the situation stood.

Trixie frowned as she thought about it. While she didn’t know exactly where things had gone wrong, she felt that they had to be fixed. And the burden of that fell on her.

The train ride to Canterlot seemed long, but Trixie occupied herself with wording her argument. It was difficult because she had no idea where to begin. Other than the fact that Twilight needed help, Trixie still didn’t have a good feel for her overall problem. All she had to go on was what she had observed.

Getting off the train at her destination a few hours later, Trixie headed for the castle. Encountering guards, she asked to see the recently Princess’d Twilight and was given an audience.

Twilight wore her Element of Harmony tiara and a frown. There was a half-eaten plate of hay fries in front of her and a thick history book that she was listlessly turning the pages of. Trixie sat down across the small table from her.

“Why are you here?” Twilight asked.

“I’d like to talk.”

“About what?”

“About you.”

Twilight looked up from the book, waiting.

Trixie took a breath. “You have a serious problem with the way you value life.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Twilight sat up a little straighter, her lips frowning.

“Do you remember when I discovered you doing that immortality experiment in the castle dungeon?” Trixie asked.

“Got a problem with that? Is there something wrong with wanting to live longer? At any rate, I don’t have to worry about that now that I’m a Princess.”

Trixie shook her head. “No, I don’t think anypony has a problem with wanting to live longer, but in the same conversation you said you weren’t ready for the responsibility that Princesshood brings. You seemed very caught up in trying to control your life.”

Twilight sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly. “Yes, you’re right. I think I said it then, but after that incident with the visitors from Valiant’s world, the creators, I realized that I was taking too many things in my life for granted. Actually, after meeting Valiant I realized I was taking too many things for granted, period.

“But…it all got to be too much. It seemed like whoever I talked to told me not to burn myself out with things I couldn’t change. Plus, if our world is really controlled by a mysterious group of creators, then aren’t our lives just scripts?”

“But they aren’t,” Trixie reminded her. “We’ve gained our own consciousness. They told us that.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that we were artificially created and given direction,” Twilight reminded her. “That’s why I gave up. Nothing was worth trying to change.”

“But didn’t you used to be the one who was always trying to make the world a better place? You were always trying to solve problems and change things? If it wasn’t possible to change fate, then why did the creators make you with that attitude?

“You were made to be a petty traveling magician,” Twilight shot back.

“And wouldn’t you agree that I’ve got a better direction now?” Trixie asked. “I’ve got friends, I’ve got family, and I’ve probably done more to help Equestria in the past few months than you, an Element of Harmony.”

“What does Elementhood have to do with it?”

“It’s a responsibility. You have the power to help ponies.”

“Responsibility,” Twilight spat. “I didn’t exactly ask for the position. I didn’t ask to be a Princess. I didn’t ask to be the one that everypony runs to when there’s a problem.”

“A lot of times, you’re the only one who can solve a particular problem,” Trixie pointed out. “Remember the Ursa Minor, or a whole host of other things? You’re concerned that you can’t change your life, Twilight, but feats like you’ve performed prove that you have done great things and can do more in the future.”

“But only in reaction to crisis,” Twilight argued. “Never making things happen proactively.”

“Is that why you crushed Sunset Shimmer’s mind?” Trixie asked. “Because it was the only thing you could force her to do? Are you really that desperate for control?”

“You have no idea what I did to Sunset,” Twilight replied.

Trixie nodded. “And neither does she. I don’t know what you did to punish her for her crimes, but it’s like her mind has been wiped. She doesn’t even remember what she was being punished for. That’s a serious lack of discipline with mental manipulation.”

“She showed a terrible lack of discipline with common decency!” Twilight practically shouted. “Abusing magic like that!”

“And you’re better than her,” Trixie said, attempting to keep herself from matching Twilight’s tone. “You want some control over your life? Learn to discipline yourself. You could have held back on tearing Sunset’s mind apart. You didn’t have to completely destroy Starburst. You’ve got all this power, Twilight, even more so now that you’re an alicorn. If you want control, then make the effort to be responsible with it.”

Twilight’s mouth opened, but she shut it again without saying anything. She calmed herself, although Trixie could see her mind working. Calmly, Twilight said, “I understand what you’re saying, Trixie, but isn’t that a bit hypocritical? You pulled the Elements of Harmony together and activated the spell to turn me into a Princess without anypony’s consent. Valiant was practically the antithesis of control and restraint.”

Trixie froze, having not considered that line of thought. After a moment she managed, “Some things have to be done. As a Princess, you were the only one who could stop Starburst from destroying the sun. I’m sorry for thrusting that upon you, but isn’t it better than the alternative of everypony dying horribly?”

“Am I supposed to just nod and go along with the ‘greater good’ idea?” Twilight demanded. “Valiant sure didn’t.”

“And yet every time Equestria needed saving, he was right there,” Trixie reminded her.

“Probably because he caused it in the first place!” Twilight’s voice was rising again. “He was the one who wrested control from the creaters and was the catalyst for the turmoil Equestria has been in!”

“You’re exaggerating,” Trixie said coolly. “And instead of our current situation, would you rather be a mindless automaton in a fictional universe?”

“At least then we wouldn’t be in this situation and forced to deal with it! I just want things to go back to normal, when there were no catastrophes and everything had a natural order and process. I don’t want to worry about things. I don’t want to care.”

Trixie stared at her. “At least my dad wasn’t apathetic; he never rage quit on life.”

“You dare compare me to him?” This time, Twilight’s voice was at a full scream. “He, who has done this to me? To all of us?”

Her horn glowed, magic flashing to the surface, but Trixie’s hoof moved faster, whipping out the switchblade and throwing her hoof forward. The point of the knife stopped a fraction of an inch from Twilight’s throat.

The Princess paused, her head tipped back away from the weapon. She locked eyes with Trixie and there was a tense moment.

Trixie broke the silence. “Twilight, if I was acting like you – like I didn’t care – I would have just killed you right now. My methods might be extreme, but they serve a purpose. I care what happens and I’m not afraid to do what I think needs to be done, even if a few feelings get hurt along the way. It’s not a perfect solution, not everypony gets what they want, but it’s better than going through life passively and running away. I learned to be an adult and deal with the hand life dealt me however I could. And I swear, I will gank a Princess if you don’t pony up and do the same.”

Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He magic faded and Trixie lowered the knife. Twilight sighed and opened her eyes. “I guess…you’re right.”

She frowned. “I wish you could have come up with a better way to make your point than threatening me, though.”

Trixie ducked her head. “Sorry. Plans and subtlety are really more of your thing.”

Twilight nodded. “Regardless, I see the idea you were trying to get across to me. Maybe I was so far into my funk that I couldn’t see it myself. I’m sorry that I took such…extreme convincing.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re definitely your father’s daughter. He would be proud.”

Trixie boarded the train back to Ponyville that evening. She’d talked a little more with Twilight before leaving the castle. The conversation had shifted to casual conversation and Trixie told her friend about the time she’d had traveling around Equestria.

The train wheezed along. It was not one of the improved models that Valiant had engineered. In fact, those were seen less frequently as they broke down with nopony to maintain them properly since her father had left for outer space. Trixie sighed. It was a shame, but she couldn’t force herself to continue his work.

She may have admired her father, but she was not him. He probably would not have been okay with a clone. Something something Democracy and thinking for yourself because we ain’t no Chinese hive mind.

Although not honoring him through mimicry, Trixie thought he deserved to be remembered for what he had done. It would be difficult to plaster his face everywhere in Equestria, mostly because Valiant was not a celebrity and it would be a massive undertaking to explain to citizens why he was important. Also, few if any pictures existed of him as Valiant had broken most every camera that had attempted to capture one.

That didn’t mean she couldn’t remember him privately, Trixie thought as the train continued on. Regardless of what the creators had done in the making of Equestria, Valiant had made her. Maybe not biologically, but Trixie wouldn’t be who she was without him. After solidly ruining her own life, he’d helped her to reform.

She hadn’t seen her birth family in years and they were clearly apathetic to her fate. But not Valiant. He cared.

Trixie smiled to herself and leaned back, eyes closing. “Thanks dad.”

Author's Note

This story was filling in a sandwich made of Season 3 and Season 4 of A Dream.
We have come to the end of this narrative and I strongly encourage you to check out the main story.

Or you get Trixie's M60 up your ass :trixieshiftright:

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 9

The train ride east seemed like a good place to relax. Trixie reclined in her seat in the last train car and put her hooves up. After the incident in Las Pegasus, she decided that maybe getting out of town as soon as possible would be a good thing.

The empty package of cookies sat on the seat beside her. They hadn’t been the best cookies ever, but, like Iron Will had said, they were good for snacking. Trixie felt comfortably full and was considering a nap.

Before leaving town, she hadn’t gotten her machine gun reloaded, but that was less of a problem. It would be a quick trip back to Ponyville on the train and Trixie wasn’t expecting trouble.

It’s always the little things like errant thoughts that tempt Fate and make it rub its hands gleefully together and cackle in delight at ruining your day. Actually, that’s a metaphor. As Iron Will could tell you, Fate is an intangible concept that couldn’t do any of those things.

Still, tempting Fate is exactly what Trixie had done, and while Karma tried to intervene with the argument that she didn’t deserve any more trouble, Fate tag-teamed with Irony and set an evil plan in motion.

The next stop on the train route was Dodge Junction. Trixie had been almost asleep when she felt the train begin to slow down. Some ponies got off the train and some ponies got on. The train started to move again and Trixie tried to go back to her nap.

The upcoming station was Appleoosa, about half an hour away. Trixie was just starting to drift off to sleep again when something poked her in the side. “Give me your money.”

A unicorn stallion wearing a black cowboy hat stood there with a knife pointed at Trixie. Her M60 was sitting upright in the seat beside her and with a flick of her magic the buttstock cracked the stallion between the eyes. He stumbled backwards, dazed.

Trixie knocked his knife away and pushed him to the floor. “No, you give me your money.”

“Yes ma’am!” squeaked the pony. Somewhere, Fate watched the scene in confusion while Irony rolled on the floor laughing.

Trixie took a bag of bits from the stallion. “What made you think it was a good idea to get on a train and rob ponies?”

“Well, we were going to get off in Appleoosa and run away,” he explained.

“We,” noted Trixie. “Where are the rest?”

“They’re in other train cars.”

Trixie nodded. She was reluctant to get involved, but either way it looked like she wouldn’t be getting that nap now.

The train crossed a bridge and Trixie hurled the stallion out the open window. He landed with a splash in the water of the river below. Picking up her gun, Trixie started forward into the next car.

She conveniently found the next robber holding an elderly mare at knife point. Trixie clubbed him on the back of the head and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Stepping over the unconscious pony, she advanced again.

A pegasus with blades on his wings was hovering around the inside of the next car, menacing various ponies. A gigantic blue minotaur seized him by the throat. “Try to steal my stuff? Things are gonna get kinda rough!”

Iron Will hurled the pony towards the other end of the car. That just happened to be where Trixie was standing. She smacked the incoming pony like a batter being tossed a pitch. The pegasus crashed out the window.

Iron Will blinked in surprise. “Oh, hello Trixie.”

She nodded. “Iron Will.”

He crossed his arms casually. “So what brings you to, ah, wherever it is you’re going?”

“Ponyville. I'm going home.”

“Oh. Iron Will is getting off in Fillydelphia.” He shrugged. “Seems like a long way to ride with train robbers.”

Trixie nodded. “I agree. Let’s take care of them.”

Fate and Irony were elbowed aside by Badass.

The mare and the minotaur stepped into the next car. Trixie casually tossed the robber they encountered to Iron Will, and he bodyslammed the pony to the floor. “Two on one; it’s more fun!” Trixie had to agree with that.

The next criminal was tennis-balled between Trixie and Iron Will for a few rounds before falling unconscious all on his own. Iron Will opened his mouth to utter a catchphrase but didn’t manage to come up with one. He shrugged. “It doesn’t work every time. Iron Will was trying to somehow work in a reference to tennis.”

“You got served?” suggested Trixie.

He grinned. “Close enough.”

They cut a swath of destruction through the criminal ranks all the way up to the front of the train. Waiting for them was a rough-looking unicorn that was holding the train conductor hostage. It was pretty obvious from the scars on his body that he was no stranger to violence.

Whoever the stallion was, he also seemed smarter than the other robbers. Having heard the violence coming towards him from the other train cars, he had protected himself with a hostage.

“Don’t take another step or he gets it,” the pony growled, holding a knife at the conductor’s throat.

Trixie and Iron Will stopped. The train began to slow down for the Appleoosa station. If they let this pony get off the train, he would be much harder to track down later.

“What are you thinking?” Trixie quietly asked Iron Will as they stared the pony down.

Iron Will considered that. “Hostage crisis? Take away the knifesis.”

“That was kind of a weak one,” she chided.

He shrugged. “Iron Will’s point stands.”

The two of them walked slowly forward. “Not one more step!” snarled the unicorn, jerking the conductor to add emphasis. Trixie took a mental snapshot of the scene in front of her as Iron Will shuffled sideways to block her from view.

Most unicorns could not use magic on things they couldn’t see. Twilight Sparkle could, and she had tutored Trixie a little bit in the art. Going by what she remembered, Trixie’s horn glowed. Iron Will’s bulk blocked the magic from view so the criminal stallion wouldn’t suspect anything.

With a jerk, Trixie pulled the weapon away. Iron Will ducked as the knife split his hair when it went zooming overhead. Trixie may have put just a bit too much force on it.

Undeterred, Iron Will grabbed the criminal and held him down in a faceplanted position until the train stopped. It blocked some of the pony's rough language. Once in Appleloosa, it did not take much to summon the town sheriff, Silverstar.

The lawpony was very surprised. “Are you aware that you just captured Stabby Hooves, the most wanted crook in the west?”

Trixie had heard the name before. With a moniker like that, it was hard to forget.

There was a reward for his capture. Trixie and Iron Will split the money between themselves. Badass nodded in satisfaction with a job well done. Everypony except Stabby Hooves was happy.

Chapter 21

Upon coming back through the portal in custody of Twilight and Trixie, Sunset Shimmer was taken away to face great justice and possible mental readjustment.

Twilight did some brooding and eventually decided to return to Ponyville and again take up her job of librarian. Trixie was still worried about her, but found some sweet half-pipes in the castle's architecture to ride.

While in Canterlot, the Flim Flam brothers stopped by. Somepony had given them tickets to ride a new cruise ship across the ocean. Trixie beat them both in a card game and claimed the ship passage as a prize.

"I knew the sunglasses gave her a better poker face," Flam muttered as the two of them left Canterlot.

"I was just worried about the machine gun under the table," his brother replied.

Meanwhile, Trixie was packing her bags. According to her new tickets, she was about to embark on a memorable adventure in the magical land of Germaneigh.

Author's Note

All hail King of Half-Ass, thy name is TNaB