Death is no Excuse

Ben and Jack walked out of the Town Hall, flanked by two pony guards. There were four more behind them, one carrying Jack’s equipment, the others with their spears at the ready. The rain was pouring heavily onto the ponies and the two men, as they were marched up to Fluttershy’s house.

“So, who is this chick anyway?” Asked Ben quietly, his voice barely reaching Jack’s ears through the downpour.

“A friend.” Jack didn’t even look over to Ben as they trudged forward. The other human simply shrugged, and continued on.

As they approached a small cottage on the hill, the mud got thicker. While Ben had no problem trudging upwards through the slimy-yet-thick mud, Jack was barefoot, and could not keep his grip through the sinking substance.

“Oi, get a move on!” Shouted one of the guards, and Jack turned back, an angry look on his face.

“It would be easier if I didn’t have some stone-brained fuckhead about to stab me every two seconds,” Jack said, only to get poked in the ass with the business end of the guard’s spear.

“Don’t mouth off to me, human. I can destroy you in one swift move if I wanted to.”

Jack shook his head, and continued uphill, slipping and sliding into the mud. Ben stifled some laughs as the other human stumbled up the path, looking like a midget with down-syndrome.

“Jack, you keep exerting yourself like that, you’re gonna be dead by the time you get to the top of the hill,” Ben said, half speaking, half laughing.

Jack was about to respond, before he face planted into the mud once more. Now the guards were laughing at the poor human, they themselves falling into the mud. Ben was laughing so hard he started to slide down the hill. Even Jack was laughing at this point.

“Is everyone okay?” A rather soft voice cut through the laughter. All the men bogged down in the mud, looked up to see the tall pegasus at the top of the hill looking down at them.

“Well hello, Fluttershy! Just taking a dip in the mud with the guys!” Shouted Jack, and the pegasus just simply shook her head, smiling.

“Alright human, you had your fun. Let’s go,” Said one of the guards, getting up from the mud.

“Whatever,” Said Ben, who hadn’t even fallen in the mud. The group started trudging up the hill again, towards Fluttershy.

When the finally made it to the top, they were all winded, and had to catch their breath. Fluttershy waited patiently, as one of the guards finally spoke up.

“Ms.- uh- Fluttershy. We’ve -uh- come to -uh- drop off these two -uh- humans-” The guard started, but Fluttershy simply shushed the guard, smiling.

“Oh, its okay, Mr. guard. I understand,” Said Fluttershy, and the guard nodded, signaling to the others.

The guard with Jack’s equipment walked it over to the porch of the house, dropped it, then immediately left, forming up with the other guards. They walked down the hill, and the two humans faced Fluttershy.

Jack didn’t even have time to say, before Fluttershy pounced Jack into the mud, spraying her own butter colored coat with the thick brown liquid. They rolled down into the mud, laughing as they entangled one another in their arms. They came to a stop in a puddle of dirty water, still laughing.

“Happy to see me, eh?” Jack said, smiling widely. The first time he had done that in a long time.

“How did you get out?” Asked Fluttershy, her mud-splattered face looking up at Jack.

“Let’s just say that Twilight has entrusted us with saving your friend.” Jack saw Fluttershy’s face flush with concern. “Don’t worry, Shy. We’ll get her back.”

“So, there are, um, two of you now?” Asked Fluttershy quietly, and Jack nodded, running his hands through his muddy hair.

“I’m Ben!” Said the other human walking over to Fluttershy, shaking her hand rapidly, as well as lifting her up at the same time.. Fluttershy lowered her head, blushing intensely. While she thought this was human was a bit cute, he was definitely not Fluttershy’s type.

Fluttershy shook her head, and just smiled meekly back to the human. Ben turned back to Jack, who was absolutely covered head to toe with mud, the rain droplets creating small craters in the outer layer of the mud.

“So, um, I guess we should get inside then,” Fluttershy said, smiling at Jack.

“Yeah, don’t want to get a cold, right?” Said Ben energetically, obviously trying to suck up to the pegasus.

Jack got up from the mud, and then looked at Fluttershy, frowning.

“Sorry to get’cha all dirty, Shy.” Fluttershy awkwardly giggled, smiling.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be easy to clean up.”

Ben rolled his eyes, before approaching the house.

“I did you the liberty of getting some clothes for you. I figured you’d be coming back sooner or later, and you’ve been wearing your regular clothes for like a week straight. I think these are your size, unless you changed measurements from when I measured you when you were out.” Fluttershy gestured to a pile of folded clothes on the couch as the three entered the house.

Jack wiped his hands on his pants before picking up one of the shirts. It was a simple button down yellow shirt, with a single pocket. It’s short sleeves were embroided with pink and blue butterflies.

“A little... feminine, for my taste.” Ben snickered, only to get elbowed in the gut by Jack.

“It’s great, Fluttershy,” Said Jack, smiling. “Lemme get cleaned up, and I’ll hop into them.”

“Oh, I was going to- nevermind,” Fluttershy said, Jack raised an eyebrow.

“What were you going to say?” Asked Jack, and Fluttershy shook her head, smiling.

“I was going to get in the shower first, but it’s okay. You can go.”

“Why don’t you two shower together?”

“Why don’t you fuck yourself?”

Fluttershy slightly giggled at Jack’s retort, and secretely entertained the idea of taking a shower with Jack.

Fluttershy pushed the idea out of her head, shaking her head once more. Jack looked at Fluttershy, raising his eyebrow in question of her awkward behavior. The pegasus smiled awkwardly, looking downwards, and Jack simply waved it off.

“Whatever. I’ll go first. What time is it anyway?”

“4:00, apparently. Unless these things have a different way of telling time,” Ben said, and Fluttershy piped up, her voice barely audible.

“Um, we’re not ‘things’, sir. We’re ponies,” Fluttershy said, and Ben waved the comment off.

“At any rate, I’m hungry. Get washed up so we can have dinner or some shit.”

Hernando scurried quickly down the black hall, looking around at the multiple bloodstains. So many... things had died here. He had hoped he wasn’t next.

He turned a corner quickly, keeping one hand placed on his DE.50 so that any creature of this leader could not stop him. No matter what you were, a .50 caliber round would take you down like you were hit by a tank shell.

“Ah, Hernando! Glad you came. I was worried that I may have to instruct some Diamond Dogs to rip your camp to shreds.”

Hernando heard the voice, even when he had not entered the dark chamber of where it resided. The spaniard breathed in deeply, and continued walking.

“What are we, unnerved Hernando? You know I wouldn’t kill you. Not after you brought me Twilight’s dragon and her friend. Now she’s bound to break down, along with my spells.”

Hernando finally reached a massive, crystalline door, which seemed out of place in these dark halls. The man stopped right in front of it, and looked down.

“You summoned me, my lord?”

“Yes. Yes I did.”

Hernando sniffed silently, knowing with one wrong move, he could be turned into one of his masters disgusting creatures.

“Jack Ross, and Benjamin Harper are on the loose in PonyVille. Do you know what this means, Hernando?”

“What, y-your highness?” It was the first time Hernando had stuttered in front of his master.

“It means you failed me twice. Your cocksure demeanor is becoming the death of you, Vega.” He heard the scream of the white pony inside, a mixture of pain and pleasure. “You don’t have control from earth. I gave you the tools so that you could communicate with your soldiers, even with lack of radio-waves and telephone wires, not to mention wifi, whatever that is to you humans. Even my dogs failed to kill him.”

“Yes sir...”

“You’ve said that before, Hernando.” The sound of moaning came from the room, as well as the masters himself. “You must promise me that you will get the job done.”

“But how, sir?” asked Hernando, and the master chuckled.

“Jack gets very reckless when angry. While I may have been banished, I can still watch him. It seems to me that he is very close to Fluttershy. Rape her, but don’t kill her. Make her feel pain, as she and her friends have made me feel.” The Master chuckled to himself. “Jack and Twilight will feel rage. One of them is bound to do something stupid.”

“Yes, my lord.” Hernando bowed, and turned, to see that a very large, black portal was now opening in front of him.

“Don’t fail me, Hernando. Or you might end up like the others.”

The master cackled, as Hernando entered the portal, being swept into the ponies world.

Ben simply stabbed at his salad, his appetite ruined by the small bunny that inhabited the house. Who knew that rabbits could be so fucking horny? I mean, he had seen dogs try and bone humans, but a rabbit that tried to have sex with a horses tits? This place was like a bad trip on acid.

“Ben, I suggest you eat. You’re gonna need it.”

“How am I supposed to eat fucking flowers?”

“Well, for starters, you put it in your mouth-”

“I didn’t realize you were giving instructions to suck dick.”

“Well, seeing as how you do it often enough, I didn’t realize you needed them.”

The whole night up to this point had been a battle of wits between Ben and Jack, each one trying to win over the lovely mare. Ben was doing it for some sweet ass, seeing as how he’d fuck anything with a vagina, and Jack was doing it to prevent Ben from getting some sweet ass, seeing as how, well, he’d fuck anything with a vagina.

Fluttershy, on the other hand, had had about enough. The whole night was filled with vulgar comments that she couldn’t believe would come from Jack, whom she though was sweet and sensible. Perhaps it was common talk wherever they came from, but here, it was downright disrespectful.

“Um, could you guys-”

“Hey, Jack, those petals are white, like jizz! I bet you like that shit too!”

“That was the worst fucking possible joke I have ever heard. Like, seriously.”

“Could you plea-” Fluttershy’s soft voice was cut off by Ben’s loud laughter.

“At least I can make jokes!”

“Oh for fucks sake, can you please shut the fuck up before you cream your pants, little boy?”

“Guys, I think we sh-”

“Little boy?! I’m twenty years old, and I’ve STILL gotten more ass than you!”

“Don’t tell me: You run a donkey farm.”

“ENOUUUGGGHHHH!!!!” screamed Fluttershy, practically sending the two humans flying with massive beats of her wings. The pony then pointed at Jack, her eyes filled with a rage the ex-merc had never seen. “You! I thought you were diffirent! Instead you spout of vulgar and sexual terms like its nopony’s business! I thought you were sweet and kind!” Fluttershy then pointed at the other human. “And you! You come into my house, and start spouting off nonsense and stupid sayings like there is no tomorrow! Why do you guys have to be so mean to eachother!”

Fluttershy looked on the verge of crying, before she retreated into her small room, slamming the door behind her. Jack and Ben looked at eachother, each of their mouths dropped in awe, their eyes wide with surprise.

“Holy fuckin’ shit.”

“I...”

“That was fuckin’ powerful.”

Jack looked around, their salads spread across the room due to Fluttershy’s rage. He looked at Ben, his eyes narrowed with what looked to be anger.

Then he punched him.

Now, when Jack punches, it isn’t like getting hit once, and a flash of pain.

It was like being hit with a steam engine going at about 300 miles per hour.

Jack’s fist connected with Ben’s lower jaw, causing Ben to bite down upon his tender tongue. Blood practically misted out of Ben’s mouth, shooting through the cracks of his teeth. The younger human flew backwards, slamming into the wooden floor of the house. Critters scattered everywhere, as Ben got up, rage in his eyes.

“Consider that a warning shot, kid.”

Ben stared at Jack, gritting his teeth, looking as if he was about to tear the older human’s throat out.

“Hey, fuckface. Don’t make shit worse than it already is. We both pissed her off.”

“You did it more.”

Jack facepalmed, and looked out the window. “Just give her some time to cool down. I don’t think she’ll stay angry for long.”

Bear sat at the edge of PonyVille, his M14 DMR mod set up on a bipod. His night vision scope illuminated the small cottage on the hill-top that his boys were targeting. He was not going to fuck up again. First, Wolf had escaped. Now Jackal had. While he could take on either one of them solo, the two of them were a killing machine. They had proven their worth in China three years ago. A mission the large merc would not forget.

“Bear, Cheko checkin’ in. Are we ready?” Asked a voice through the radio, and Bear sighed.

“Lemme try and get one of them through the scope, first. We’ll then move in, capture the pony, and kill the two fuckers.”

“Copy that.”

No sooner had Bear said that, a tall figure had appeared in one of the dimly lit windows, its eye glinting green in the scope. The merc slowly put pressure on the rifles trigger, focusing the reticule of the scope on the head of the silhouette.

CRACK!

The glass in the house shattered, and the silhouette disappeared. The militia soldiers moved in, a mixture of newer well-armed soldiers, and the original scouts swarming into the cottage.

“Fire at anything human! I want the horse captured!”

Jack hit the floor as the window shattered, and a bullet flung past his head. Fluttershy came out, looking around with her eyes wide. Ben drew his Five-Seven quickly, looking around.

“Why’d you break the window!?” Asked Fluttershy frantically, and Jack started rolling and yelling simultaneously.

“Get down!” He shouted, rolling towards his bulletproof vest and handgun, which were laying on the couch nearest to the door.

As soon as Jack reached the couch, the door flung open, a soldier in a bullet proof vest and holding an FAL now entering the home.

Two gunshots sounded, and the soldier fell backwards, blood spouting from his neck and upper chest area. Jack turned around, looking at Ben, who had shot the man.

“Stop fuckin’ screwing around Jack! Get his gun!” Shouted Ben, as the back door exploded with automatic rifle shots.

Jack grabbed his pistol, and returned fire. The .45 caliber shots were more than capable of tearing through body armor, so if he hit his mark, whoever was on the business end would be having a very bad day.

More sniper rifle shots tore through the wooden walls of the house, destroying bird cages, glass, furniture, and pottery alike. Fluttershy was screaming at the top of her lungs, and Jack was struggling to get his vest on.

A more well equipped soldier dived through a window, just as Jack had finally finished strapping his vest on. The soldier blindly fired at Ben, but was quickly cut off by Jack’s far more accurate shots.

“Grab his vest! We don’t know how many more there are!” Shouted Jack, picking up the FN FAL from the ground.

Jack had no sooner grabbed the assault rifle, when a scout jumped through the window, his AK-47 firing randomly. Ben popped five rounds into the scout, leaving the scout in a bloody heap on the ground.

“Fluttershy! Fly out of here! Get to Twilight’s!”

“But Ja-”

“GO!”

Fluttershy needed no more. She ran past Jack, into the outdoors, spread her wings, and flew off at a speed she didn’t even know she could reach.

“Well, now we’ve got the collateral damage gone.” Ben grabbed the AK-47 from the ground, opening the chamber to see if there was any ammo left. “Let’s kick some ass.”

More gunshots smashed through the wall, one hitting Jack square in the ribs. The older merc hit the ground, gasping for air, as Ben returned fire.

“Fuck! My ribs!” gasped Jack, rolling onto his stomach, and crawling over to Ben, who was hiding behind a couch at the adjacent side of the living room. He heard more glass break, as another Scout dived in just above Jack.

The prone merc jumped up, drawing his knife from his vest, before engaging in combat with the Scout. The scout turned around, drawing a machete, when suddenly his chest exploded with blood. Jack looked at Ben, who had now dropped his AK-47, presumably out of ammo, and had picked up an FN FAL from the ground.

“Oh Wolfy! Time to come out of your house and die!”

Ben looked at Jack, and raised an eyebrow. He then turned towards the window, shouting a response.

“My names Jackal, you idiot!”

There was a pause.

“Jack hasn’t told you yet, has he? I guess I won’t give him the chance to.”

Ben looked at Jack, a look of dismay on his face. The other merc didn’t even have time to nod, before a grenade was chucked inside the cottage.

“Fuck! Grenade!” Screamed Jack, running over to kick it.

His foot connected, and sent it launching towards the window, when it detonated. Jack was flung backwards, his leg surprisingly intact, as two more soldiers ran inside. Wolf blindly fired at the one on his side, while Jackal grabbed the machete from the dead scout, and stabbed the one on his side through the throat.

The soldier Jackal had stabbed was taken out, but Wolf’s shots were to no avail. A loud yell came from the other side of the room, and Jackal looked over to see that Wolf was on the ground, blood spouting from his shoulder, the bullet tearing right through the vest. The soldier was now standing over him, his rifle at his temple. Jackal raised his gun, ready to shoot the soldier, when another shot sounded, the bullet tearing through Jackal’s left leg. Ben dropped his handgun, putting pressure on his wound.

“So, this is what the dynamic duo has done to my soldiers. You killed most of ‘em, I’ll give you that. But you’re still amateurs.”

Jackal gritted his teeth, as he heard the familiar voice of Bear, as his boots clicked on the hard wood. What surprised him was the subtle sound of AC-DC playing from what looked like an iPod, which was sitting in the chest pocket of Bear’s bullet proof vest.

“So, which one of you should I kill first?” Asked Bear, standing in the middle of the destroyed house, his M1911 in hand. He walked over to Wolf, and smiled, kneeling down.

“I think I’ll kill you first, Jackie boy.” Bear dug his pistol’s barrel into Jack’s open wound, causing a groan to escape the lips of the merc. “You tried so hard, and failed so miserably to preserve this world from our grasp.”

“Fuck you, you piece of shit. I should have left you for dead in China!” Shouted Wolf, spitting into Bear’s eye.

Bear fired a .45 round into Jack’s leg, tearing a hole right through his new pants. Jack screamed loudly, getting a giggle out of the remaining soldier. That only ended in another shot being fired, this one tearing right through the soldiers head.

“So, I’m guessing you’re angry. I get that. I’ve only shot you, hmm, how many times was it now?” Another gunshot sounded, followed by Wolf’s screaming. “Three times?”

Jackal couldn’t do anything except watch in horror, as blood poured out of Wolf’s multiple wounds, writhing in pain on the ground. Bear then turned his attention to Jackal, who was grimacing in pain.

“Ah, and you, Benjamin.” Bear kneeled over Jackal, putting the barrel of the gun up to his forehead. “I guess I’ll just spare you the pain of bleeding out, and just shoot you.”

Jackal watched as Bear’s finger tightened on the trigger of the M1911, when a voice shouted out.

“Leave them alone!”

Bear turned around, his vision landing upon a tall, butter colored pegasus. The massive merc smiled, holstering his pistol.

“Well well well, ain’t it Wolf’s love interest,” Bear said, walking over to Fluttershy, who was standing there, her legs shaking.

Wolf turned over, his body weak from blood loss. “Fluttershy, run. Don’t worry about us.”

Bear kicked Wolf’s weak body, getting a grunt out of him. He then continued towards Fluttershy, smiling an evil grin. Fluttershy’s legs were shaking so badly, Jackal thought she was about to piss herself.

“Aren’t you a pretty one?” Bear said, finally reaching Fluttershy. He stopped in front of her, the massive merc looking her over. “Nice, round, bouncy tits.”

Fluttershy squealed in pain, as Bear took a handful of breast into his digits, clamping down with dangerous force. Wolf, groaned, trying to crawl towards the duo.

“You’re going to be my personal sex-bitch, you know that?” Bear took his other hand, and clamped into Fluttershy’s nethers, evicting another squeal from the pegasus’s lungs.

“Leave... her... alone...” Wolf was now barely 5 feet away, still crawling with his good arm. Bear rolled his eyes, pursing his lips. The massive merc pushed Fluttershy into the dirt, and then proceeded towards Wolf.

“Do you know what death feels like, Jack?” Asked Bear, kneeling in front of the wounded human. Jackal couldn’t do anything but watch, as his body started to go into shock. He felt helpless, watching Bear slowly draw his machete, about to deliver his coup de grace to Wolf.

“Yeah, actually. I do.”

Bear licked his machete, looking into Wolf’s eyes. There was a small flickering sound behind the larger merc, but he payed no mind to it, too focused on his new achievement.

“Do you know what death feels like, Willis?” It had been a long time since Wolf had called Bear by his first name.

“No, I don’t, really. I’m sure you can tell me how it feels the second time around in hell.” Bear raised his machete, about to bring it down, until something caught Bear’s ear.

Tink.

Tink.

FSSSSHHHHH.

The unmistakable sound of a German Flamethrower.

“How’s about ya’ experience it first hand, Mister ‘Bear’.”

The thick southern accent caught everyone - and a single pony- but suprise.

Then came the heat.

The scream that soared out of Bear’s lungs was that of a mixture of rage and pain, as the massive merc was engulfed in red-hot flames. Wolf rolled out of the way painfully, his vision too blurry to make out the figure who had just saved him.

Bear fell to the ground, his screaming reduced to squealing, his charred body polluting the air of the smell of burned corpses. He convulsed for a few moments, much of his body still burning, before becoming still. The flamethrower had died out, and the user dropped it, running over to Fluttershy.

“You okay there, Shy? Ah’ didn’t scorch ya now, did ah?”

Fluttershy didn’t respond, instead rushing over to Jack’s side. He had passed out from blood loss now, and was going pale. The pegasus tore off three sheets of fabric from her dress, and wrapped them tightly around Jack’s wounds.

“Fluttershy, are ya’h okay? Are ya’h sure you ain’t hurt?”

Fluttershy ignored Applejack, trying to pick Jack up. Suddenly, a loud sound exploded from the barrel of a pistol. Both Applejack and Fluttershy recoiled, as they saw the other surviving human, standing over the body of Bear, despite a large bloody hole through his leg. He was holding a pistol, aimed at the burned merc’s head. Another loud bang sounded, as Ben shot Bear in the head again.

“Well, glad thats over,” Ben simply said, dropping the pistol.

He looked at Applejack, then at Fluttershy, then collapsed.