Blackbird

In my mind, while I slept, my imagination took hold, and I'd live tales that I've read about from various books, all of which were written by astounding authors. Sometimes, I'd be some random pony, climbing a mountain. Other times, I was the Wonderbolt's Ex-second in command, Soarin'. His book, How to Be the Best, was riveting, and one of the driving forces that inspired me to become what my dad said was impossible. In it, he claimed that anypony can be accepted into the academy. Any... pony... I thought this was where my dad got the idea that griffins couldn't join, just because of that term, anypony. I didn't believe it, though. I knew I could be the best, and that I could join them if I worked hard enough at it. I wasn't an expert flier or anything special, but I was determined.

I awoke on my stomach, facing the fog that acted as my bedroom window. I could see the sun, beautiful as ever, rising in the distant mountain peaks. As it forced light upon the land of Equestria, and morphed all the little, visible ponds down below into golden colorings, I blew a breath of natural pleasure out. At this time of the year, the weather was much cooler, so I could see the blur of air exit my beak. Observing the sun rise was always so soothing to see, like watching a grand miracle take place, mainly because that's exactly what it was. If nature did it, then it wouldn't be considered all that great, but because Princess Celestia herself brings it up and sets it calmly down in the evening, the feeling was almost always much different, if you thought of things the way I did. I felt someone's soft claw briskly glide onto my shoulders. I smiled at this, blinked my hazy eyes and thought, 'it must me mom, cleaning the metal hole in my back where my wing should be.' I was wrong, however.

As soon as I gave another relaxed sigh, agony coursed through my being. All I could feel was a metal jabber being stuck deep inside, while Daisy held my rustling body down like a bouncer at the local pub. I screamed my head off, feeling tears escape as I did. She just kept on telling me, “Hold still, you little shit! Otherwise, you'll die from this.”

I tried as best I could to keep steady while she moved the metallic rod in and out of my back. The pain was unbearable, twenty times worse then last night's free fall. That was like a small thorn pricking me on my arm compared to this. With no other way of dealing or toughing out this sort of torture, I extended my wing wide and fought back. My torso lifted itself up gradually with every small flap I exerted, struggling with her whole body that did its best to keep me down. Then, just as I was about to escape, I felt an even worse pain in my skin. A very sharp needle pierced through, and I felt the liquids enter my bloodstream. I grabbed the sheets with my talons and began to rip and even bite them to shreds. I grunted and squinted my eyes, trying hard not to pass out. Water trickled away from my eyes and dripped down from my cheeks, staining the torn fabrics below my crying face. At one point, I jerked my forehead down and banged it on the plush mattress. I was fed up with the feeling of overpowering weight coming off her body that tried so hard to restrain me. Slowly, however, the burning sensation stopped, and my entire body went completely numb. I fought the feeling, for some odd reason though. I was shaking by the time it was really kicking in. My wobbles decreased, finally, and I collapsed onto the bed, exhausted and huffing ferociously through my nostrils. I then heard her give an annoyed grunt, and felt her continue with work. Shortly following this, she took a break.

While she walked over to my side of the bed, I looked up to see her scowling at me, the kind of face that could scare anyone at any given time. Her claw slid under my beak, brought my gaze up so I could see her more clearly and held me there for a moment. She seemed really upset about having to use anesthetics on me, and once she explained why she was in such a furious mood, all I could do was feel like an idiot.

“That... was what little medicine I had, and I need to conserve it properly.” Her mouth began to curl as her anger rose. “Now, I only have two shots left... That last one, I needed for all three operations I'll be performing on you. Now, I only have two left... All you needed to do was STAY STILL! Now I'll need to head into Cloudsdale to restock... Your father will have to pay for it, though, because I'm completely broke. Good job, you little asshat!”

Her words hurt. They even left me with a sinking feeling in my gut, so I tried to say sorry, but all that came out was, “Ah'mph showrryth.”

“Don't try to talk. I can't understand a word you're saying. Just know, next time I'm telling you to hold still, follow orders, and you won't be costing your family more money.”

Shortly after that, she returned to working on my wing. I could still feel the rod digging and scraping against the bones, making me a little queasy. When she finally left, I just laid there, unsure if the stick she was using on me was still inside. I was too scared to move, certain that if I did, I'd mess her operation up even more, so I stayed down, timidly waiting for her to return and finish the job. Outside, I heard her discussing her predicament with dad. She was using the same colorful vocabulary she was with me.

“Your son is a weak little fuck! He couldn't even take a cord replacement surgery! I do that with my back all the fucking time.”

“Well he is only nineteen years old. He's still a boy!”

“Uh, does this look like the face of someone who cares?! Listen, I need to make a run to get some more pain killers. Otherwise, the last and most strenuous surgery procedure he's going to need will literally kill him. He's lucky he didn't die just now. If he kept on going, kept struggling and fighting me, that new magnetic connector I just installed would've been shot right up into his brain, scrambling everything. He's extremely lucky I acted fast and sacrificed my supplies for him.”

I heard her take some bits out of my dad's money jar that family members only used freely, making my dad ask, “Could you not just help yourself?”

“You owe me,” was her typical response. “He's still alive, and I'm going to be getting him up and out of your dingy cloud house real quickly here. Be thankful I'm only taking what's necessary and not more.” The door opened, and I heard her turn just before leaving to say, “If you, or your childish son piss me off again, I'll leave, vital equipment and all. Your son will never be able to fly again, and you'll be wishing you never crossed me in the first place. I'm very much on edge about this whole thing, so it's a good idea to stay on my good side. That means keeping out of my way when I'm working, and making sure your son doesn't fuck around like he was just now... I'll go ahead and get him a new blanket and sheets though, mainly because I'll need something to catch the blood that's sure to fall.”

The door slammed shut, my dad began cursing under his breath, and my mom came out of the kitchen to confront him about this. “Who the hell does she think she is?!” she asked with her sweet but angry voice. “I mean, I know she just wants to help, but that doesn't give her the right to go about like she owns the place!”

“Now Shyla...”

“No Diver! She's a bad influence... I'm not even sure this is worth putting up with!”

My mom had a temper when it came to disrespect. Anytime I brought home a girl from my old school, if they weren't what she thought was as close to perfect as they could be, I'd hardly ever see them again, and my dad always sided with her on decisions like that. It's one of the reasons I'm still a virgin. Depressing, but that's life. In my personal opinion, though, I found Daisy's rage ridiculously attractive.

While my folks argued about what went down, I lofted off once again, into my wild dreams. The numbing helped me rest, too. While I stayed peacefully still, lying on my stomach, I thought about how I was to adjust with this. In my moments of unsureness, though, all I needed to do was to remind myself I'm a griffin, and because of that, I knew I could overcome anything life threw at me, even if it's a swearing beauty like Daisy. Yeah, it happened again. It was obvious to me. I had a crush on her.

An hour passed by too slowly to me. That's how long Daisy had been gone, and every second that passed by, the more my mind decided it would be a good idea to beat itself up. Whenever I made a fluke, or cause something to go horribly bad, and others got on my case about it, I felt like the worst being on the planet. There's been multiple incidences, in fact, where I'd ended up ruining my father's latest wing model, or when I would do a chore completely wrong.

My folks, though they never meant it, sometimes lost their composure around me, and outright blamed me for what had happened. I could understand them, however. I was the one who caused the incidences to occur in the first place. I never meant it, but fate seemed to like messing with me in that way, because no matter how often I tried to do a better job and improve, I mostly just wound up causing more chaos than before.

They still trusted me, of course. After all, they're my folks. How could they not? I just wish, during certain moments of my life, that things didn't go down the way they did, and it seemed to be the same reoccurring problem for me. I'd say the wrong word in front of my dad's associates, or I misunderstood instructions. I knew I wasn't the only one with these sort of problems, but it still aggravated me whenever I messed up.

The front door opened, and I heard her set her bag of fresh supplies down on the soft floor outside. As she approached my room, I began to get the jitters. I hated them! I could never, ever keep still while I had them. My belly shook, my eyes watered; the whole sensation was just embarrassing. I just couldn't stand to let her see my face again. The lines under my eyes were so blotchy red from sobbing, and the displeasing expression I was making would've made me even more disappointed in myself to let her see. I started to get a cold sweat, just from thinking about her coming in and taking all her frustrations out on me again. I could hardly ever take that sort of mental pain. I think I would've rather died then be scorned even more by her. I knew there was no avoiding it though. In my heart, I knew the right thing to do was to let her vent.

She entered, silently and calm sounding. I heard her give one of those signature sighs, the kind I had heard her heave just before unleashing her rage on me earlier today, so I curled my eyes tightly shut and got ready to be yelled at even more. Instead of hearing, "I should just walk out right now on your worthless ass," I felt her plop down next to me, to my right side.

I opened my eyes and looked over for a split second to gaze at her emotionless appearance, but hastily buried my pathetic looking face underneath my furry arms and said, “Sorry...”

Thank Celestia it came out correctly, and not a fumbled mess of slurs that resembled a drunkard in the bar. I felt her wing hover over me and gently pull me in. Then, her claws grabbed my arm and forced a hug, something most unexpected. I would've bet money she was going to rant at me worse than she did earlier, but instead... She just held me closely, tugging on my chest, making me feel even more uncomfortable, and nervous. “Don't be...” she instructed. “I'm the one who should be apologizing... I guess I acted too rashly by assaulting you while you slept. I had hoped you wouldn't wake up, but I should have know better. You're new at this, unlike me. I've done it to myself for years. You probably never really had nerve connectors accurately installed, so without considering this, I didn't realize how much pain I'd be causing you... I'm the one who should be sorry.”

She then let me go, got up and stood over next to the window to look out at the distance. It was early noon, so the light that poured in bounced coyly off her robotic wing. I hadn't gotten a good look at it, but when I did that afternoon, I was amazed at the detail and obvious work put into it. The feathers had extensions that could retreat into the steel bones while diving, so that the weight and structural design didn't slow her down. Around her back hole, I noted she decided to use a different kind of metal for the edging, a kind that I had never seen before at the local street vendors. I was going to ask her what it was, with it resembling fools gold and all, but she spoke before I could get my qestion out.

“Have you been like that all day while I was gone?”

I gave a small squeal. “...Well, I thought you still had that metal rod sticking in... I can't tell if it's there or not... and, I didn't want to mess it up in case you had it aligned in a specific spot. You mean it's not even in?”

From what I could see of her face, she seemed to roll her eyes. “It's gone, and you can move or sit up at your leisure pleasure. I'll tell you if I want you so stay in particular position. If I say nothing, and leave or go and do something else, it means you can move about freely.”

Her tone told me she considered my question stupid, but I didn't care. By now, I understood she thought that way of just about anything I'd say. I sat up and stood. My legs, though, almost caved in due to my unsteady balance. The anesthetics were still in powerful effect, so it wasn't like I'd be able to walk around much, unless I wanted to fall and place myself in more pain then I already was in. My back felt tremendously sore, like a unicorn horn had been stabbed straight in the center or something, but once my grunts were met with giggles, I seemed to forget all about the searing pain running up my spine. That was the first time I heard her laugh. Even though it was aimed directly at my displeasure, the fact that she had such an adorable sounding voice made it perfectly fine.

“did... you just... let out a chuckle?” I asked, half smiling. She turned her sight to my eyes with a somewhat surprised stare, and continued to let me see her snicker, but as quickly as I had asked, the short moment of peace melted along with her smile.

“Uh... no, I didn't. I'm just-”

I cut her off, trying to revive the feeling I knew she was feeling. “Yes you were! I saw and heard you. I think-”

Claws scratched my left cheek, shutting me up immediately. Her talons literally ripped my skin open. I caught myself lying on the clouds, my right claw holding onto the bed, trying not to let my back touch the floor. Small trickles of blood slid down my cheek and oozed onto my chest fur. Her detesting eyes burned my soul thoroughly. “I wasn't laughing... and I CERTAINLY wasn't smiling.” While she walked out of the room, eyes hidden my drooping feathers, I wondered what in an Alicorn's name I had done wrong. Obviously, I hit a sensitive spot, but how was I supposed to know she didn't wish to be happy?

I felt the three fairly far apart lines left by her, smeared some of the redness away and whispered, “Whatever it was... it was fucking awesome!” Call me a masochist, but the stinging felt pleasurable to me. I'd never been slapped as hard as that, not that I'd want to be again, but, the pain was tingling to say the least. What was wrong with me?

I crawled up and onto the tattered bed, grabbed what was left of my bed coverings, and bobbed them on the incredibly noticeable scars. By the time mom and dad would see them, I had hoped they wouldn't care. I should have known better. They'd confront her about it... but for whatever dense reason I had for doing this, I'd defend her. At that point, I knew something was wrong with my brain, but I preferred it to stay just as it was: aroused and excited.

I laid on the ruined bed continuously adjusting myself. With the metal bracer plugged up with its hard lid, I never could relax on my back, let alone sleep like that. Every once in awhile, I liked to try and look up at the foggy ceiling swirling up above. It always relaxed me when I was stressed, and boy did I need something to take my mind off things. I touched my right cheek, where she cut me and rubbed the bandage while thinking about how much crap I was about to face. Mom and dad weren’t going to like this, nor would they understand. I never did like being defended, especially whenever I did something wrong and deserved what came my way.

Yes, I think what I did was wrong, because Daisy wasn’t really in the mood for laughing. She just wanted to sulk in her emotions, and if you’re anything like me, you know that means you need to mind your distance and watch what you say around her. I learned a long time ago that females are delicate beings in this world. If she doesn’t want to do something, don’t force it. Just let it go, especially with someone like Daisy.

The door opened, and I turned away recognizing those quiet steps. It was Skyla, my mom. She’d come in to check on me, so I rolled over hoping to keep these cuts a secret. I should’ve known better. “Sweetie? You alright?” she asked. I didn’t say anything, but instead, just kept my face buried in the mattress. “What's happened?”

I couldn’t ever keep anything from her. She saw right through me, so I told her, “If I show you, promise me you won’t get mad.”

No reply. Just deafening silence, the worst of its kind. So, with no other option, I reluctantly showed my beak to her. In only a second’s time, her face went from a worried and concerned state to one of fury. “W-what’s that...? What’s happened to your cheek, Blackbird?!”

“It’s just a scratch! It happened during surgery,” I lied.

She just walked out of the room, and a moment after, I heard her groan loudly in disbelief. “How could she? To my kid? I don’t think so!”

I limped my way out and confessed, “Okay, yes, she slapped me, but it was my fault. Please don’t be mad at her!”

Rage driven and uncontrollable, my mom turned to me and said the words I wished she didn't say. “I want her out! I don’t care if she’s trying to help you. Scarring your face up isn’t worth wings! I push you and your father to fly, but not at the expense of your physical appearance or health!”

I turned to the doorway, and saw Daisy standing right there. That’s the only big problem with living on a cloud. Things are so quiet, someone can waltz right into your home without you even noticing. She had an angry face that seemed to just keep growing angrier, and as I looked down, I heard her speak after a moment. “Oh, so everything I’m about to do for all of you goes unappreciated? FINE!” She turned to the door and started to exit. Before leaving, I moved faster than I thought I could, and gripped her tail with both claws while pleading for her to stay. “No, Birdy! I’m done!”

I followed her outside and continued to beg for her to reconsider while my mom just stood on the patio shaking her head. “Look,” I chanted, “If you stay, I promise complete seclusion. Mom and Dad won’t ever say a word to you. It’ll just be you and me doing the talking.” I looked at mom with pleading eyes and asked, “Right?”

Skyla sighed and said, “Yeah, I guess...”

Amazingly, just when I thought she’d simply take of with me still tugging on her tail, Daisy turned and asked, “You gonna let go?”

I did so, looked down again and said, “I really want to fly... Without you, I don’t think I’ll succeed at reaching my dream.”

She squinted and asked me, “What dream?”

Sighing, and my face lighting up at the chance to say it all over again, I explained, “Ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to be a Wonderbolt. The thought of being under their ranks is just so inspiring to me. That’s all I’m good at, is flying... If you’d help me with this, I’d be in your dept eternally.”

Even though I sounded completely corny, she smiled, something I thought I’d never get her to do again and said, “Heh, you know they only take ponies, right?”

I nodded and said, “I plan on changing that... but, how’d you know about their rules? It’s not something that’s common knowledge...”

She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “You’re looking at the future first griffin Wonderbolt!”

I was without words... To think, the two of us had such differences in personality, yet similarities as our wings and dreams. As I nodded at my competitor, I asked, “When are you planning on trying out?”

She frowned, finally realizing how long I’d gotten her in a good mood and said, “As soon as I’m finished with you. Then, I’m off.”

I peered to the left at my mom and asked, “You know, that’s not a bad time for me to leave, is it?”

She stumbled forward briefly and asked, “B-Blackbird, you can’t be serious...”

“... For too long, I’ve waited for this moment. With this new wing and a rival like Daisy there to push me even harder, why not?”

She remained silent, almost understanding where I came from. Daisy too. Finally, just when I turned around to head back inside, mom stopped me by saying, “I guess you have your dreams to pursue...”

I nodded and entered the house followed by Daisy. It was a serious relief, being able to get through to her. Mainly because that meant Dad wouldn’t be all that upset about my cuts either, not with her telling him it’s alright. Finally, in a little less than a week, I’d be free as a bird.