The Our New Life Trilogy

It was a lovely day in ponyville as fluttershy was running from her pursuer screaming.

“I’m coming to punch you in the butt hole!” taunted Yarma.

“No!” fluttershy cried as she ran as fast as she could to the one place she was safe: sugar cube corner. After arriving inside the bakery she found rainbow dash and pinkie pie engaging in making out.

“Slurp slurp.” said pinkie pie.

“Slurp” replied rainbow dash.

“Oh rainbow dash this is the best relationship I have ever been in, also the pony lesbian sex is cool.”

“Twenty percent cooler.” said rainbow dash deploying the catchphrase.

“Um sorry if I am interrupting anything guys, but I really wanted some cupcakes.” said fluttershy timidly.

“You are not interrupting at all!” rainbow dash spoke after she untangled her tongue from pinkies’ “In fact pinkie is running a shop here, and we are being unprofessional by making out on the counter!” Just as dash and pinkie were heaving their flanks off the counter to do some actual baking one twilight sparkle burst into the door because the scene has started to drag.

“Guys I think I may be teen pregnant!” said the lilac unicorn as she gasped for breath. The other ponies could only stare in dull surprise, and none could muster a reply. “By spike!” the lilac unicorn finished.

“Well rarity makes clothes.” Fluttershy began to explain. “So it stands to reason she would have some clothes hangers.” Fluttershy finished the tedious explanation.

“Lets go pro-choice a baby out of a bitch!” yelled rainbow dash in excitement. The lilac unicorn and her friends, who are also colorful ponies but i feel it didn’t need to be stated, went to the carousel boutique during normal business hours.

“Welcome to carou- oh geeze its you guys.” said rarity the unicron who was trying to run a business. “Can I help you in some way that does not involve dress making?”

“Yes.” said fluttershy who had now moved about three feet from the door which she had just entered. “we need to procure a wire coat hanger.” She spoke for the other ponies who were now pretty extraneous to the plot.

“Are you implying that I would own a wire coat hanger?” Rarity the unicorn said obviously enraged by the very idea as she was prone to be.

“N-no we would never even think the thought.” said the lilac unicorn as she turned around to notice a meteor as it was about to impact a carrot farm inhabited by carrot farmers, which was in view out of a window in the boutique. The meteor formed a crater, ponies crawling out of the crater.

“What the fuck was that?” said fluttershy a little out of character. Meanwhile at sweet apple acres big macintosh had just returned with the smarty pants doll raising continuity questions, when applejack began speaking with him while naked.

“Gee golly howdy big macintosh I would like to make out with rainbow dash yonder, but I am totally afraid she will reject my southern feelings! Tarnation! Consarnit!

“Why don’t you just go and ask her, and hope for the best?” Replied big mac the heroin needle dangling from his arm.

“Landsakes! I guess I’ll do that then. Howdy howdy howdy howdy.” Applejack began making the arduous journey to the one place where she knew she could find rainbow dash. After arriving there applejack made a conversation with rainbow dash, both were naked. “Rainbow dash I would very much like it if you could dump pinkie pie and commence to courting me.” Said applejack, who had removed her hat in a gesture to show she was emotionally serious. Rainbow dash was now faced with the most serious choice she could have ever been faced with.

“Good thing that I the element of loyalty am not monogamous isn’t it.” Dash said applying the cool sunglasses.

“Nuts! I guess this calls for a pony orgy! Wallop my withers! Howdy.” Replied applejack. That night in applejack’s barn all the ponies in town gathered for the biggest orgy in ponyville history, though there had been many contenders. Trixie is now in this story.

The ponies happily had all kinds of pony sex into the wee hours of the morning and on into the day, and then into the next night. The punchline is anal fisting.