Warning: This Fiction is canon.

Rainbow Dash was never the type of pony to settle down. However a little under a year ago she made a decision to do just that. To settle down with Pinkie Pie, to have foals of her own. She had regretted every day she had woken up since then. Except when she went to her little paradise in, equestria. Mercifully, her weather making shift had ended for the day. The time to partake in booze and easy mares was approaching almost as fast as she could fly to the sleaziest bar in Ponyville, or anywhere in the tristate area for that matter.

She soaked in the sight of her favorite place in the world as she would soon be soaking her abused liver in adult beverages. The door opened with that same satisfying creak, and the smell of smoke, cider, and regret carried her as a fiery chariot would carry a prophet to heaven. Her final reward. "Tonight I'm coming home in a coma if it fucking kills me," Rainbow said with her famous confident sneer.

"Only if you can pay the bill this time, honey." Junebug said the same thing every time the pegasus came in. She still never paid her tab.

"Have my wife pay it," Rainbow said adding a laugh to the end. Her standard reply, and a cruel joke about the state of her life.

"I mean it this time Dash! Do you have any idea how much you even owe around town?" Junebug, despite her employment as a prostitute, did care about the self-destructive mare that came to see her almost nightly. "You never used to be like this."

Frustration began to rear its head as Dash felt her plans for the night crumple under the weight of those dreaded words. "If I wanted to hear bitching I would go on home and get it for free. Are you working tonight or not?" The question was useless however, Rainbow could see that she was not going to get what she wanted here. "Fine. Fuck you I'm out."

Junebug didn't have time to say anything before Dash had stormed out to parts unknown. "Dash! Wait!" She hung her head knowing her plea did not reach the ears of the pony she had fallen for.

"Lookth like thomeone ith getting a beating from their pimp!" Twists' smarmy retort made the bar break out into laughter. She could bathe in the adoration of drunken morons forever.

Meanwhile at Sweet Apple Acres, a certain Earth Pony was ruminating. "That whore Dash rejected my Southern Feelings." Applejacks thoughts were focused on how to gain revenge for being put into the Friend Zone. "She has to pay for taking a stupid bitch like Pinkie Pie instead of an intelligent mare such as myself." She sat down at the blueprints that laid out her plan for Southern Vengeance.

A rainbow streak flashed across the sky as Dash made her way to her best friend’s house at the edge of the Everfree Forest. "I can't wait to pull a mouthful of that pink mane!" mused our hero. "Nothing can get me off quite like tears in those big pathetic eyes!"

Rainbow pounded on the door hard enough to startle every creature dwelling inside. "Open your heart to the snake oil peddler, Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy buried her face into the pillow trying desperately to stifle the sobs. Maybe if she stayed quiet enough Rainbow would go away. Maybe if Fluttershy prayed hard enough Rainbow would fall over dead. The yellow pegasus drug her body to the door and opened it. She knew that she couldn't avoid it.

Author's Note

A small departure from my romcom roots!(that's short for "romantic comedy" for all you fledgling writers out there!) I promise though everything will turn out happy in the ending!