Something Blue
Chapter One
This building is my home, my job, my life. I cannot stress how imperative it is to keep the foundation of these white-washed walls supported by the ‘torture’ of my patients.
“As your dentist, I take it upon myself to nail this five letter word into your skull once more: FLOSS!” I emphasised the word with a light smack to my clients head with my clipboard. It was always so normal to tell this to nearly all of my clients. I mean really, who has time for flossing, right? Everypony. That’s who.
“OK, Dr. Colgate,” sighed my client, “Can I have my prize now?”
“Of course, Pip,” I replied, with a menacing grin on my face, “Right after the fluoride rinse.” I poured a little cup – full of the stuff and levitated it to him. Pipsqueak took it in his mouth and paused, lamenting what he was about to do. He threw his head back and emptied the contents of the cup into his mouth.
“Now, just swish that around in your mouth for about a minute and then spit it out in that sink.” This part has always been my favourite, in its own, sadistic way. One minute later, I spoke again, “Alright, go ahead, a minute is up.”
“Bleh!” he spat, “This stuff always tastes bad. At least I can have my prize now.” Pip seemed to quickly forget the ‘bad’ taste he had in his mouth as he started jumping around me.
“Alright, calm down, you’ll get your prize, just follow me,” I said as my clipboard was enveloped in a blue glow and followed me out of the room along with Pipsqueak. I walked out into the lobby to greet the colt’s parents and show them the results of my examination.
“Now, Pip,” I reminded him while I opened a drawer that contained his prize, “You can have one treat and one toy, but you can’t have the candy for thirty minutes, understand?”
“Yes, Dr. Colgate,” he acknowledged with a sigh. I smiled at this and then thought how ironic it was that we gave out sweets after visits. Oh well, we’ve got to keep clients here somehow.
Moving on to show his parents the examination, I floated the clipboard up beside me and looked it over once more. Everything checked out well, uncommon for a foal his age.
“Well, your son seems to be in complete dental health,” I started, “Aside from him not flossing, that is.” At this, Pip’s parents looked at him with a look that was somewhere between happy and upset.
“Pip, what did I say about flossing?” questioned his mother.
“‘Floss before I brush my teeth in the evening,’” quoted the colt.
“And why don’t you?” pressed his father.
“Because it’s so boooriiing,” Pip nearly whined.
“Flossing isn’t boring!” I interjected, “Or at least it doesn’t have to be.” I remember when I discovered the trick to making even the most menial dental task interesting, not that none aren’t anyways. “All you have to do is sing a little song and it’ll make dental hygiene all that more fun.”
“How do you sing a song while brushing your teeth?” questioned all three in seemingly perfect synchronization. Then,my horn lit up with excitement as I prepared a spell that I had familiarised myself with a long time ago. With some aid from this spell, I sang.
“Doctor Colgate?”
“Yes, Pip?”
“Do you sing that every time you brush your teeth?” At first, I thought he was joking, so I only smiled and nodded. I didn’t realise he was until he cocked his head to the left and said, “Dr. Colgate, you’re wierd.”
His parents balked at their son’s comment. His mother was the first to speak. “Pip! Apologise to Dr. Colgate, that was rude!”
He blushed as he looked back at his mother, and sighed when he apologised in that way that kids do when they know they’ve done something, but don’t really want to apologise for it. “I’m sorry Dr. Colgate. . .”
Time for Dr. Colgate to save the day with some good ‘ol fashion humility. “Oh, no, no! It’s fine, of course! There’s no need to apologise.” You have ‘em hooked Colgate, now we just have to wait for a response and counter.
Surely enough, Pipsqueak’s father spoke up. “Pip had no right to speak to you like that. You’re a professional, for Celestia’s sake!”
I twinged a little at the mention of Celestia. I’ve always preferred Princess Luna’s nights rather than Princess Celestia’s day. Regardless, I had to save this colt’s flank from his parents. “No, really! It’s fine! I may be a professional, but I’m a professional dentist. It’s not rare that I get called weird.”
“If you insist, Doctor...” submitted Pip’s mother. Now, I get to make them dislike me.
“Now about the bill...” I started. His parents looked at me in anticipation of the dent in their wallets. “Don’t even worry about it, a routine cleaning doesn’t cost me too much.”
Pipsqueak’s parents looked at me with such shock, I swear I might have heard one of their jaws pop.
“On one condition,” I continued. I am about to make this very difficult for Pip.
“Of course there’s a catch...” mumbled his father, “All right, what is it that you want for your services, if not our money.”
I smiled wide, and supposedly quite frighteningly, considering the look of horror that graced all of their faces. “What I want?” I began as all three of them took a large gulp. “I want,” I said beginning my ultimatum, “Pip to remember to brush and floss twice a day, and for you to continue to be my guests!”
His mother fainted, probably because she knew how difficult of a task that might be. I just laughed. I loved doing this to some of my better, more reliable clients, it’s just a policy of mine.
After Pip’s mother recovered from the shock of my conditions, the family left my practice. After tending to some more routine cleanings, none so exciting as that one, (excluding the root canal I got to do that day) Colgate’s Dentistry shut down for the night, and once again became my home.
As everything wound down from the day, I went around the examination room to make sure used tools were in a separate bin from the new ones, and to check inventory. Floating a clipboard and pencil beside me with all the items I should have listed, I began an audible checklist.
“Fluorine, floss, buffer-brush thingy, toothpaste,” I listed. Continuing, I moved onto the bin with the used tools. Beginning to clean them using a sterilisation spell I found some time ago, I simultaneously wrapped each tool I cleaned in an individual airtight wrapping and placed them in the bin with the clean tools.
I finished off the rest of the cleaning and inventorying, noting that I needed more treats for the kids, and went into the second part of my building.
This part was the background of my life, the part not many see. The walls were of oak, and the floor was of chestnut. The floors were worn smooth by a combination of light sanding and my own hooves as a result of simply walking around.
On one end of the room was my large grandfather clock, one of my more prized possessions. I can’t seem to recall how or when I got it, but I loved it so. The weights were in the shape of a police box, for whatever reason. When I noticed them, I just figured that the previous owner was a collector. While I was looking to get them replaced with some toothbrush weights, the oddities seemed to grow on me.
On the adjacent wall stood a cobble stone fireplace. It was homey, and I only really used it during the winter months. Still, I keep wood by the hearth for those cold nights when I would call it into use.
In front of the fireplace, positioned just so I would be able to capture the warmth, was a simple couch. Nothing fancy, or even colourful. It was a simple shade of blue. Not the same as my coat, though. It was a darker, much richer shade, and for some reason, very familiar.
On the mantel of the fireplace, lay another time piece. This one was not so regal as the massive grandfather clock with the peculiar weights, no, this was much smaller. It's strange, now that I recall it. It was such a small thing, a pocket watch. I'm not even sure if I had ever worn it, or if it even worked. I had the pony that keeps my grandfather clock working smoothly, Clockwork, look at the time piece, but he was unable to even open it.
As I strode through my home, and levitated in front of me a cup of hot tea in preparation for bed, something strange happened. Now, normally, strange is a pony not having brushed since the last visit and not having terrible breath and cavities galore, but this, this, was on a whole different level.
The Princess of the Night stopped in for an emergency check-up.
Author's Note
First chapter down, let me know what you think, I feel it's an improvement over what I've previously written.
Something New
Chapter 2
Immediately falling to my knees, and looking down in her presence, I was able to stammer, “Y-your Highness!”
“Rise, subje--Doctor,” Luna replied in her regal voice, though seemed to falter in addressing me.
I rose from kneeling, and tried to avoid eye contact to refrain from offending my prestigious guest. Even her hooves sparkle like the night sky, I decadently observed, and her teeth must be brighter than a full moon!
“Why do you avoid looking at my face, Doctor?” she asked, sounding hurt.
“Majesty, I hold the highest respect for yo--er, the Princesses of Equestria. I wouldn’t want to offend the benevolent leaders of this nation,” I answered truthfully, though tripping over almost disregarding the other princesses.
“Doctor, you are acting strange.” She sounded confused. “Treat me as a friend, and please, call me Luna.”
Now it was my turn to be confused, why was she being so casual with me? And why does she keep saying ‘Doctor,’ rather than my name? Still, a princess’s wish is a princess’s wish.
“I apologise...Luna, but may I ask why you’ve graced my dentistry with your presence?”
When I finished my question, she smiled widely, rose to her hind legs, and replied brightly, “WE WISH TO HAVE OUR TEETH CLEAN!” in her Royal Canterlot Voice whilst striking a pose with one hoof thrust dramatically into the air, of course. Her voice rattled my house and cracked my cup, which was luckily devoid of the tea it once contained. It also allowed me to smell her breath in High Smell-inition. I immediately understood why she was here, but. . .
“That’s not a problem, but don’t you have some sort of private, elite dentistry-master ponies of some sort?” I queried while putting the tea cup on the kitchen counter with my magic. “I’m not saying that I don’t want you here, in fact I feel honoured that you would even consider my tiny shop.”
The princess lowered herself and I could see a light blush on her face as she noticed the small amount of damage done to my home.
“Of course, but I do not quite trust their hooves as I would you, Doctor.” She walked into my living room and examined her new surroundings. “I see you still have the grandfather clock I gave you, as well. Oh, and you kept the weights too!”
O...kay, I was becoming more and more confused with the princess’s informality with me, and now she says that she gave me my clock. “Luna, please excuse me if I’m mistaken, but this is the first time we’ve actually met.” Her facial expression changed from inquisitive to confused as she turned back to look at me. She seemed to study my face for a little bit, and I must say that I became very uncomfortable.
“AHA!” she exclaimed, making me flinch and my ears fold back in surprise. “This is one of your jokes, isn’t it, Doctor? Well you can’t fool me anymore! I have become quite experienced with activities meant for merriment!”
“Princess, we’ve never met,” I replied in a flat tone. “I don’t know what you think I’m trying to do, but it’s certainly no joke.” Luna went back to observing my living room, more specifically, the mantel. “Furthermore, I have absolutely no idea where I got my grandfather clock, nor anything about what those police boxes are doing as weights. And, if I may ask, why do you keep referring to me as ‘Doctor’?”
The dark mare paused, looking at the mantel, seemingly unaware of what I had just said. However, she replied, “Ah, I see. You shouldn’t remember, then.” Shouldn’t remember what? “My apologies, but what is it that you are called now?”
She came here not knowing my name? “My name is Colgate Minuette, D.D.S., commonly referred to as Dr. Colgate by my clientele.” I was getting a bit flustered by all of this. The sovereign leader of the night enters my home completely at random, and then starts talking about things like we’re great pals. What shouldn’t I remember? Why shouldn’t I remember it? So many questions, but I know how to get the answers...
“I apologise, Doctor...Colgate, I was unaware of certain circumstances.”
Now I’ve got her. “I don’t know what circumstances you refer to, but you came here for a dental cleaning, and so you’ll get one. Besides, you referred to me as ‘Dr. Colgate,’ therefore, you must want to be part of my clientele.”
Princess Luna had a blank look on her face as she realised what she had just gotten herself into. “I...er...you,” she stammered. “You still want to clean my teeth?” she concluded, dumbfounded.
“Mmmhm!” I affirmatively hummed.
“A-and you want me to come back?” she continued.
“Hmm...yep! But, of course I want you to pay my regular rates, and I’ll be treating you as I would any one of my other clients, dental criticism and advice included.” I nodded and stomped my left hoof to punctuate that she would not be pampered in my palace.
She was obviously not accustomed to being spoken to by a much smaller, much weaker pony in such an authoritative manner, though she seemed to accept it when the look of shock turned to one of content. She solidified my presumptions by saying, “I accept your terms, on one condition.”
“Name it,” I replied casually.
“I can only come after I raise the moon and the stars are out, and I must leave before I must lower it.”
Hey, being the pony to have to move your own former prison, which in this case just-so-happened to be a major heavenly body, must be hard enough without having to deal with your dentist and her own schedule, so I agreed to her terms.
The Princess continued to come back; each month it seemed she would come on a certain number of days, give or take a few. Though, I must say, it was odd of her to come every month in the first place, considering I see most of my clients semi-annually.
During the twelfth visit after our first encounter, about a year later, I decided to ask about her monthly routine.
“Luna,” I began, “why is it that you come by so often?”
She looked up at me from the laid back position the chair of my practice put her in and looked at me dully. It was then that I realised that I was asking her questions while I had my instruments in her mouth, something that many practitioners of dentistry seem to do. Playing off my mistake, I simply took out the tools and wiped them on my apron.
“Minuette, I just love having my teeth cleaned by your skillful hooves.” Luna had lost much of her social awkwardness and old ways of speaking over the past year. I’m not sure what helped her do that, but she seems much more casual than on the night we first met. She’s even taken to calling me by my seldom used name, for some reason.
“As much as I appreciate the compliments of my clients, and their bits,” I mumbled the last part to myself. Don’t think of me as a greedy mare, but a girl’s gotta eat. Continuing, I stated my intent, “I like to have feedback as to why they come back, and for you, it’s especially important because you come by every month.”
Luna rotated her head towards me, presumably to better look me in the eyes, rather than addressing the ceiling. “I come here every month because I enjoy having good dental hygiene, especially with your craftsponyship, as well as the time I get to spend with you.”
“I guess I just don’t understand why you enjoy the time with me,” I voiced my thoughts, “and why you always seem to schedule appointments within about the same span of days.”
The Princess raised an eyebrow, most likely questioning my thoughts on her agenda. Duly noting her interpretation, I quickly corrected myself, waving my forelegs defensively in front of me. “Not that I have a problem with your timetable, it’s just something I’ve observed, is all.”
“Well, if you truly want to know why I so deliberately choose the nights I do, I suppose it would not cause harm to tell you.” My ears perked at this. I finally get to know why my most prominent client arrives exactly when she chooses. “The truth is,” she began, making me rock forward on my haunches in anticipation, “I’m lazy!”
I leaned forward too far, and I fell forward, my muzzle making direct contact with the tiled floor. As I flopped over onto my side, forehooves grabbing and rubbing my bumped schnozzle, and curled my rear legs into my chest, creating the infamous fetal position.
I must have looked hilarious, because Pretty Pony Princess Woona certainly looked like she was going to burst at any moment, with tears starting to form in her eyes, and a smirk on her face, feebly covered with a hoof, as she leaned over in her chair to look at my pained form.
“What’re you smirking at?” I said with as much venom as to be had with my hooves clamping my muzzle, trying to ease my pain.
“I have absolutely no idea of what smirk you are referring to,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. It was at this point I decided to finally get up and walk off my injury.
Nose still stinging, I decided to play it light-heartedly, even if only to try and make myself feel better. “You know, Luna,” I began, fully grabbing her attention, “I can’t say I’ve ever heard of a broken nose due to a work-related accident in dentistry.”
Though my humour wasn’t, well, humorous, the princess still smiled, perhaps only for my own gain. Luna looked at a clock on the wall, and her eyes lost their excitement as she realised the time. “Minuette, let’s finish this cleaning, it’s getting late, and I need to lower the moon soon. After we’re done here, I’ll tell you what I meant by my being lazy.”
Surely enough, with my expertise in dentistry, and her ability to cooperate during appointments, the cleaning finished quickly. The silly thing about Luna was that she had this complex for fun and fun things, so when the check-up was completed, I gave her a little baggy with floss, a little travel sized tube of toothpaste, and, get this, a toy from the drawer in the front room. She said something before about collecting toys so that she may ‘increase the fun.’
After receiving my little do-it-at-home-you-lazy-bugger dentistry kit, Luna kept her promise as she posed by my open bay windows to leave for her home. “I deliberately schedule myself on these nights because of my lunar cycle of full, gibbous, half, and crescent. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I always come during the half moon.”
“I thought it might have something to do with the lunar cycle,” I thought aloud, “but that doesn’t explain why you always come during the half stage or why you said that you were lazy.”
“Well, it takes more energy to create a full moon and limit the amount of stars in the sky to compensate for the amount of light, and more energy to brighten all the stars and limit the size of the moon to a sliver,” she explained, “therefore, it would cost the least amount of my power to make the moon half as bright, at half it’s size, and have the stars halved in brightness and quantity.”
“Princess. . .” I began.
“Yes?” She shuffled uncomfortably, most likely due to her desire to not be called by her royal title.
“Why does that make you lazy?” I asked of her. “You’re the only pony who can raise the moon and create the beautiful night sky as well as you do, and the job you do is perfect, if not, it’s damn close!”
She looked at me, surprised. “I’ve never heard anyone praise my nights as you do, Minuette, not with that type of language either.” I blushed as I realised my vulgarity in front of a proper, royal mare. “Still, I was brought to the belief that being lazy meant that one spends as little energy as possible. . .”
“Well, that’s technically correct, but dentist visits are, and it pains me to say this, lower priority than your occupation,” I explained, “especially when your occupation is raising a heavenly body, and maintaining all your royal duties, whatever they may be.”
When I finished defending my Princess against her own lexicon, she lowered her head. I almost thought I might have seen a blush through her deep purple coat, but before I could she turned herself towards my window and spread her wings.
“I don’t have many duties other than maintaining the order of the night and helping ponies face their fears in their own dreamscapes,” Luna admitted over her shoulder. “Goodbye, Doctor, I shall see you again soon.”
The Princess of the Night took to the air, fading into her element, leaving me to my own devices. My own devices being my pillows, sheets, and a molar plushie.
I awoke the next morning, prepared for a day off. Sunday is a great day for private business owners, it gives us a day off from the long work week. This Sunday though, it seemed especially, excuse the pun, sunny.
When I rolled over to face my windows to see if I had left my bedroom curtains open, I met with one other very prominent figure.
Just how many royal teeth do I have to clean!?
Author's Note
It seems that I've broken the 2000 word count in a chapter barrier. . . Didn't know I had it in me.
