The Misadventures of Razor and Daedalusby RazortheAwesomeChaptersPrologueChapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 2Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 3Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 1PrologueThe Misadventures of Razor and Daedalus A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction By RazortheAwesome and DaedaltheusXIV DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release. Prologue Within the wide and vast world of Equestria, there are many different ponies with many different tales to tell. While many of these tales mostly focus on the six wielders of the all-powerful Elements of Harmony, there are many other ponies out there, each with their own tale to tell. The musicians Vinyl Scratch and Octavia have their music, Lyra and Bon-Bon have their antics, the ever-elusive Doctor continues to have many adventures that go unnoticed by the general population of Equestria, and of course let us not forget about the kind and lovable Derpy Hooves. This tale, however, is not about any of them, for their tales have already been told. This tale is about two others. The two others who would end up in Ponyville not by coincidence, not by chance, but because within less than two hours, everything would be on fucking fire. It was a perfect day in Equestria, so perfect in fact, that nopony would dispute just how perfect it was. Celestia’s sun shone brightly in the sky, not a spare cloud was to be seen, the birds were chirping where there were birds, royal business of all kinds was conducted in Canterlot, and the Pegasi of Cloudsdale made rainbows and all kinds of weather. The ponies of the ever-popular Ponyville went about their daily business, and in the far off city of Fillydelphia, a lone Pegasus sat in his apartment working on a strange mechanical device. The device itself was massive, about the size of a refrigerator or a large closet. Its appearance resembled a large, vertical, steel colored cylindrical tube. At the center of the cylinder was a spherical portion that had what appeared to be tinted glass all around it as opposed to the metal that made up the cylinder. Inside the spherical portion lay all kinds of mechanical parts and devices that did Celestia knows what. The Pegasus himself looked much better off than the device as he sat on down on the floor of his living room and focused intently on the task at hoof. He was larger than average for a Pegasus, hell he was larger than the average pony by most standards. While not as big as a certain red stallion resident of Ponyville, he still stood taller than most ponies. His wings were larger as well to accommodate his size, though they remained firmly at his sides. The color of his coat was that of a very light, almost tan, chocolate brown, and his eyes were a much darker shade of brown. Although depending upon the light, they would often appear to be more of an amber or dark reddish color. The mane that rested on his neck and head was a dark, charcoal black in color, and didn’t extend past his neck. While his mane was far from unkempt, it had a look that could best be described as “scruffy” as if this particular Pegasus only ran a comb through it once in the morning and left it alone for the rest of the day. His tail had very much the same appearance, and like most stallions, it was short. His cutie mark resembled a pen crossed with a T-square in the shape of an X. While most ponies were not fond of clothes, this particular Pegasus wore around his neck a simple white collar, and along with it, a simple blue tie. On his snout rested a simple pair of round, black rimmed glasses that kept his eyes focused on his work. With the access-panel to the device open and his eyes practically glued through his glasses to the task at hoof, the Pegasus continued his work as he put on the finishing touches on the device. With a screwdriver in only his right hoof, he tightened one last screw on one of the many components of the device, a difficult task for most ponies that weren’t unicorns, but he made it look easy. Once that was done, he let his hoof fall flat and let the screwdriver fall into it. That done, he took the screwdriver out and placed it in his mouth before shutting the panel and spitting out the screwdriver. With his trusty screwdriver out of his way, he looked back up at the device. Finally, after only Celestia knows how long the device stood completed in front of him. The device towered over him as he sat there on his living room floor, and yet despite its enormity, it only had one button. It had one, large, unmarked red button about the size of his hoof that was positioned just above the spherical portion of the device on the cylindrical body of the rest of it. While any normal pony would have hesitated or taken a moment to admire the fruits of their labor, such things were not to be in the mind of the young Pegasus. Without even wasting even a fraction of a second or a second thought on it, he moved his hoof up and pressed the big candy-like red button on the device. The literal instant he pushed the button his entire apartment suddenly began to violently shake as a large humming noise echoed from the machine. Everything in the Pegasus’s apartment shook as the device rocked it into oblivion. What little things that were on the shelves fell off, the furniture moved about the living room, and even the Pegasus himself struggled to keep his plot on the floor. Dust even began to fall from the ceiling and the walls as the apartment continued to shake. After about two minutes, the apartment stopped shaking and everything sat perfectly still as a nice, soft, quiet hum came from the machine. The Pegasus just remained quietly seated on the floor as he stared at his device. After staring for a few moments, he saw that not only had the device actually calmed down, but that many of the lights on the other side of the spherical portion of the device were on and blinking exactly as he expected them to. Upon seeing this, a wide smile grew on his face, and then it grew even wider the longer he stared at it. “Yes!” The Pegasus shouted as he suddenly stood up on both his hind legs and thrust both his forelegs up into the air. “I AM INVINCIBLE!!!” At almost the exact instant the word ‘invincible’ left his mouth, his moment of epicness was broken by the front door unlocking itself. “Yo Daedalus, what the fuck was that!?” said a black unicorn as he entered the apartment, his left foreleg wrapped around a paper grocery bag. “I thought it was an earthquake at first, but then my magic stopped working the second I got here.” The unicorn at the door appeared to be rather young, though he couldn’t have been much older than the Pegasus that already occupied the shared apartment. His coat appeared to be almost pure black in color. However, in reality it was really more of an incredibly dark grey. If nopony knew any better, they would never even guess that his coat was a shade of grey. His mane was a shade of light brown and unlike his Pegasus friend, ran all the way down his neck. One even dare call it a mare’s mane if they were so bold, though the rare few that did find a boldness to call him one would find themselves waking up in Fillydelphia General Hospital in due time. Mostly, it ran straight but some parts of it were obviously a bit scruffier than others. His tail was essentially the same, and like his mane was longer than the average tail length for a stallion. His eyes were the color of emerald green and were truly something to look at for the mares. His cutie mark though, was a completely different story. His cutie mark resembled the letter ‘A’ enclosed within an open circle. Neither the letter nor the circle were very thick, the circle itself was only about an inch and a half thick and the lines that made up the letter ‘A’ were not much thicker, in fact they were thinner, but just by a hair. The entire thing resembled what would commonly be described as an anarchy symbol. What made his cutie mark unusual, however, was the fact that the entire thing was on fire. The ‘A’, the circle, every part of it was made of fire and bits of the flames seemed to rise up from it towards the tops of his flanks. “Ah but you see, Razor,” The Pegasus, evidently named Daedalus said as he turned his attention to face the unicorn. The expression on his face resembled that of a maniacal grin “I have completed it.” He spoke in a very soft, yet deep voice that only those with authority would possess. “Eh?” replied the unicorn, evidently named Razor, in confusion. “My Mark 4 Anti-Magic Field Generator is complete. And yes, it fucking works.” Daedalus continued as he walked around and placed his right hoof on the device, the maniacal smile on his face still ever present. Razor just kept staring at it for a few moments before he let out an audible sigh. “Agh... This again,” said Razor as he grabbed the handles of the paper grocery back with his teeth and kicked the door shut with his back hoof. He then walked over and placed the bag down on the coffee table, which had moved slightly to the left when the building shook. “Seriously, you’re never gonna let me live this down are you. Just because I accidently set one little fire.” “It wasn’t one little fire!” Daedalus shouted at the top of his lungs the second those words left Razor’s mouth. Razor just stared back at him with his eyes slightly wide while the look Daedalus gave him was a look that he would give an insane pony who just told him that the sky was red. After a long moment of silence between them, Razor sighed loudly again. “All right it wasn’t just one fire,” said Razor as he rolled his eyes. “But seriously. Do you seriously need this thing? I mean it’s not like you can actually...” “Shut up!” Daedalus yelled as he stepped away from the device. “Of course I need this device. After what happened last time do you really think I wouldn’t need it?” He asked sarcastically. Razor opened his mouth to speak but Daedalus cut him off before he could say another word. “What excuse do you honestly think you could possibly make Razor? Really, tell me. I want to know.” “The last one didn’t even work. I mean it’s not like you...” “Shut up,” Daedalus said to him again. “They all said the same thing. They all said it was daft to even attempt to build a device that could impede unicorn magic. However, I built one and magic proofed a house all the same. Just to show em I could.” Daedalus said as he began to pace around the room. “You burned that house to the ground. SO... I built a second one... That you burned to the ground. So, I built a third one... That one got caught in a hurricane, then a landslide, fell over, got buried under mountains of rubble and then you burned it to the ground! But this fourth one...” He said as he walked back over to his device. “Is staying up and you are not going to burn this place to the ground. Not while I’m here.” Daedalus said to Razor and he turned around and pointed right hoof accusingly at him. “And most certainly not while this,” he slapped the device, “is here either.” Razor just stood there for a moment with the same blank expression on his face as he took in all of Daedalus’ words. After a moment though, the expression on his face changed from that blank look to a devilish grin. A smile appeared on his face that started out small and innocent, but then quickly grew from ear to ear. It was the look of someone who had just been issued a challenge. “Razor, what are you…” Daedalus said to him, not liking the look on his face. “YOU SET ALL OF FILLYDELPHIA ON FIRE JUST TO PROVE A FUCKING POINT!!!” Daedalus yelled at his friend and roommate as the two of them stood on a mountainside cliff overlooking the city. “At least our apartment building is still standing.” As if on cue, the moment those words left Razor’s mouth the very last standing building in the city, their the building that was their apartment building shook. As if in shocked awe, Daedalus watched as the concrete base of the apartment building buckled under its own weight, the fine fractures deepening with each passing second. Then, in a secondary burst of dust, the entire left side of the building collapsed, the blocks falling freely until finally, the two watched the structure twist. In a moment best suited for the waltz of some blue Danube to play, the apartment building shook twice in the air, twisted 30 degrees and finally, came to rest on the ground amongst the smoldering ash and embers of what one could have once called Fillydelphia. “I’m going to start hitting you now,” Daedalus said to Razor. “I don’t know when I’ll stop.” The Misadventures of Razor and Daedalus Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 2 Twilight was in the middle of explaining something to the two of them about one of the many other buildings in Ponyville with her encyclopedic knowledge when Razor’s pony ears suddenly caught something. “Oh shit!” he suddenly shouted, much to the surprise of Twilight and Daedalus. The second those words left his mouth, he immediately jumped up into the air off all four of his hooves and flipped over towards his right. The instant he was in the air, a rainbow blur that came from his right suddenly shot right where he stood, went past him, and hit Daedalus. The source of the rainbow blur knocked Daedalus to the ground and caused the two of them to roll several feet down another street while Razor simply landed back onto his hooves with the grace of a pony gymnast while a concerned Twilight turned around to see what in the name of Celestia happened. Eventually, Daedalus and the source of the rainbow blur stopped rolling about three yards away from where Razor and Twilight now stood. Daedalus lay flat on his back with the same deadpan look he always wore on his face while the source of the rainbow blur lay on its stomach just a foot or so away from him. After a few seconds, the source of the blur revealed itself as a cyan colored Pegasus mare with a rainbow mane and tail. The rainbow mare was the first to get to her feet, and as she did looked back to see Daedalus still lying on his back. The moment she saw him, she put on an on so innocent look on her face and giggled a bit before she said anything. “Uh... Excuse me,” she said to him in an almost humorously innocent tone, however Daedalus did not look amused. “Here let me help you up,” she said as she flew back up into the air and over to Daedalus. Once she was above him, she extended her right hoof to him. Daedalus, seeing this gesture, just sighed loudly to himself and took it. Once she had his hoof, the rainbow Pegasus grabbed it with both hooves and then flew backwards a bit with her wings to pull him up off the ground and onto his hind legs again. She let go of him and Daedalus just fell back onto his four hooves. The whole time Daedalus never took his serious, deadpan gaze off her. With him back on his feet, the rainbow Pegasus giggled to herself again as she rubbed the back of her head again with her left hoof. “Eh he he... Sorry,” she said to him. “Oh it’s quite all right,” Daedalus said to her as he brushed off his black tie, “this sort shit happens to me all the time.” “Yo, Daedalus!” The two of them looked over to see Razor and Twilight running towards him. “You okay?” Razor asked Daedalus upon reaching. “Fine, just fine,” Daedalus said before looking back at the rainbow colored Pegasus. “Miss, if you would be so kind as to at least pay some manner of attention to your flying, I'm sure more than just I would be most grateful.” “Hey, I said I was sorry okay,” the rainbow Pegasus said back to him, her previously innocent demeanor gone. “Sorry, but you’ll have to excuse my friend,” Razor said to her. “He can be like that sometimes.” Daedalus just shot him a look that was on the verge of a death glare to Razor as he said that. “Rainbow!” Twilight yelled out as she walked up to the rainbow maned Pegasus. The look on her face was no longer one of concern but rather one of frustration. “What in the name of Celestia were you doing?” "Well," the rainbow Pegasus huffed, "I was in the middle of performing some trick I read about the Wonderbolts Magazine, you know Fly with Us, and it looked so cool I just had to try it." "What kind of trick?" Twilight asked. “It's called the Double Back Looped Free Fall Dare Dive,” she excitedly shouted to her friend and the two stallions. “Or the DBLFFDD for short.” “You practice your tricks, especially an untested trick designed by Soarin of all flyers and decide to test it out. In town...” Daedalus yelled, drawing the attention back to him as a puzzled look erupted on his face. “The FUCK?!” “Well, excuse me...” the rainbow Pegasus started to say before she fully considered what the other Pegasus had to say. “Wait, how'd you know it was Soarin?” “I read.” “Wait, who in the hay are you two anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around,” The rainbow Pegasus asked them. “I am Daedalus the Thirteenth and this unicorn standing here is my...” he paused for a moment, “to use a more appropriate and less painful word to think of and say, roommate, Razor.” With those words out of his mouth, Razor stepped forward and extended his right hoof to the rainbow Pegasus. “Nice, to meet you,” Razor said to her as he shook her hoof. “And you two are...?” the rainbow Pegasus asked. “Oh, they just moved in to town,” Twilight suddenly said as she stepped forward. “They only just arrived today so I’m showing them around.” “Oh, that’s cool,” the rainbow Pegasus said, her eyes now more on Razor than Daedalus. “Name’s Rainbow Dash,” she added, fluffing out her wings and holding her head up high, swishing her mane a few times. “Fastest flyer in all of Equestria. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?” “No,” Razor stated rather bluntly, though curious for more. “Can’t say that I...” He paused for a moment after he said that last bit. “Wait... You said your name was...” “Yes,” Daedalus said flatly. At that, both Razor and Rainbow Dash’s attention turned back to him. “Really, you have?” Rainbow asked Daedalus, eyes suddenly full of pride. “Yes, I have.” Daedalus replied. “I don’t think there isn’t a pony in all Equestria that doesn’t know the name of the only pony ever to do a sonic rainboom. Twice.” At that, Razor suddenly snapped back to attention. “That’s it!” he exclaimed. “I knew that name sounded familiar. You’re Rainbow Dash! Gah, the mane and tail should’ve given it away.” Suddenly, and without warning or any kind of sign, the rainbow colored Pegasus let out a squee. Both Razor and Daedalus could only stare as the strange rainbow colored Pegasus let out her obvious moment of fangirlism before she quickly returned to her previously calm and “cool” demeanor. “Well, it’s always cool to meet a fan,” Rainbow Dash said as she extended a hoof back to Razor. Daedalus just kept his mouth shut as Razor shook her hoof again. “So, you’re Twilight’s friend?” Razor asked her. “Yeah,” she said throwing a foreleg around the unicorn and using the other to rough up her mane, “we're pretty much the best of buds, aren't we?” Twilight just sheepishly laughed at that before she could respond. “Yeah, yeah we are,” she said as she pushed Rainbow’s hoof off her. “We’ve been friends ever since I moved to Ponyville.” “Nice,” Razor responded. “Did you have the same first meeting experience as I did?” Daedalus snarkily replied. Twilight, the instant those words left Daedalus’ mouth, let slip a nervous laugh. “Well, it was nice meeting you,” Rainbow Dash said as she turned around and spread her wings. “I’m gonna get back to practicing. I’ll see you later, Twilight.” With that, as instantly as she appeared, she flew back up into the sky, leaving only a rainbow blur in her wake. “Well, she was cool,” Razor said to nopony in particular. “By the way,” Daedalus began to say as he turned to face Razor. "The next time I see an object traveling in our direction at top speeds, I'll just step out of the way and let YOU meet it.” “That reminds me,” Twilight suddenly said as she directed her gaze directly at Razor. “How did you do that anyway? I mean I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody avoid Rainbow like that before.” At that, Razor just began to laugh nervously to himself as a certain red hue crept back onto his face. “Umm... Quick reflexes,” was all he could say as he put on a wide smile that was to all but him, the fakest possible smile he could have achieved. Neither Twilight nor Daedalus said anything as Razor just stood there looking like an idiot. “Right...” was all Twilight could say. “Shall we continue?” Daedalus asked to get away from that awkward moment. “All right,” replied Twilight, not entirely convinced. In either case though, the three of them turned around and headed back the way they were going. They still had more of Ponyville to see. Eventually, the three of them found themselves in front of a building that for all intents and purposes resembled a gingerbread house. “And this is Sugarcube Corner,” Twilight said to them as she held up a hoof towards the gingerbread house, “The best bakery in all of Ponyville.” “Hmm, interesting style albeit a bit forward and less than creative to advertise that they sell confections and cakes. Admittedly, this building was most likely built thirty, no wait, forty years ago back when they originally went for the idea of,” Daedalus paused for a second and began tapping his hoof against his forward in thought. “The decorated shed and the duck, well this is clearly a duck since it is meant to resemble what is being sold.” “What?” Twilight asked as she turned her attention back to Daedalus, now slightly confused. “It’s nothing,” Razor said. “Nothing, but he just...” Twilight began to say before she was cut off by Razor. “Say, anyone else hungry,” Razor said. “Actually, I don’t think either of us have had lunch yet, right Daedalus,” he said looking over at the Pegasus who simply shrugged to his roommate. “What about those free apples Applejack gave you?” Twilight asked. “That was a while ago,” Razor responded. “Besides, it was just one apple. An incredibly tasty and juicy apple, but still just one apple,” he said as he trotted up towards the gingerbread house. “Coming Daedalus?” he called back as he walked up to the doors. “Sure, why not,” Daedalus said as he followed his friend and roommate towards the gingerbread house. Twilight followed just behind him. Once they were inside, they looked around to see that hardly any ponies in the bakery. In truth, it was far past lunchtime and Razor was right, aside from the free apples, they hadn’t eaten anything else since they got here. "Ah, yes," Daedalus continued, "the wide open restaurant interior with a few tables and side booths set up for dining in and the glass counter." He looked to his companions as though expecting something from them but when they ultimately said nothing, he continued alone. "Clear indicators of a restaurant that also offers take-away and, ah exposed timber beams. It’s kind of rustic in a charming sort of way and a simple truss frame for support, typical of this style of architecture. And a set of stairs, which indicates to myself that the owners and or staff of this establishment live above the premises in another part of the building, which means that the..." he got into the line with the more confused Twilight and shrugging in response Razor. "Kitchen's in the rear, though based on size they must do a Tartarus lot more than just simple confections and treats." Twilight just stared at him in confusion, she was about to open her mouth to say something when Razor, unknowingly this time, cut her off again. “Well, I don’t know about you but I’m gonna see what they got,” he said as he made his way up to the counter. Twilight followed close behind him, as did Daedalus. At the front counter, the three of them met a blue earth pony mare who seemed, in a good way, a bit chubbier than most ponies. “Ah, Twilight, it’s good to see you,” said the chubby earth pony to the lavender unicorn. “Good to see you too, Mrs. Cake,” Twilight said to the chubby pony. “Is Pinkie Pie around?” “Unfortunately no,” Mrs. Cake replied. “She was here earlier but then she ran off saying something about a party.” “Figures,” Twilight said as she took a loud sigh. It was then that Mrs. Cake noticed the two stallions with her. “Twilight,” she said to her “Who are these two with you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen them in town before.” “Oh,” Twilight said as he attention was turned back to them. “They just moved in to Ponyville, so I’m showing them around.” “Oh how lovely,” she said in a rather excited tone. “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner. I’m Mrs. Cake.” “Nice to meet you,” Razor replied. “Likewise,” said Daedalus. “So, can I get you anything for the two of you or are you just...” “Do you have any sweet rolls?” Razor asked out of nowhere. “Of course,” Mrs. Cake replied with as much enthusiasm as she had before. “Sweet!” Razor suddenly exclaimed in a way that almost sounded like the “squee” like sound that Rainbow Dash made earlier. As he did his he also thrust his right hoof up into the air, much to the annoyance of Daedalus. “And for you, dear?” Mrs. Cake asked as she turned her attention over to Daedalus. “A blueberry-muffin, my dear,” Daedalus stated softly. “Of course,” Mrs. Cake said as she wrote all their orders down on a small sheet of paper “and for you Twilight?” “Oh, nothing for me, thanks,” Twilight responded. “All righty then,” Mrs. Cake said with a smile before she walked off to get their orders. Within a few moments, the three of them were at one of the many tables in the bakery enjoying some of the most delicious baked goods they had ever had in a while. “By Celestia, that was the best damned sweet roll that I’ve ever had!” Razor exclaimed as the three of them exited the bakery. “And I’ve had a few.” “I must concur, that blueberry muffin was exceptional,” Daedalus stated as the trio walked the streets of Ponyville. As the trio continued down the main street of Ponyville, they passed several shops, each one with a rather decorative sign displaying a distinctly colored image of the goods sold within the shop. After about ten minutes of walking and listening to Twilight list off the various shops about them, they paused as they got to the fabric store. No sooner did they reach it when Twilight stopped for some reason unknown to both Razor and Daedalus. Stepping out from the shop's double doors, a white unicorn levitating several large bags stuffed to the brim with an impressive number of fabrics greeted the happy Twilight with a large smile. As the lavender unicorn approached, the white unicorn whipped her rather styled purple mane to the side and walked up to her with a large smile and a sort of twinkle to her eye. "Twilight, darling, whatever brings you down to the garment district?" she asked Twilight, looking her over with a happy look. She spoke with what was obviously meant to be a Prench like accent of sorts. "You aren't considering making your own dress again, you know how well that turned out last time." Twilight gave an uneasy laugh and then proceeded to talk to who was clearly her friend, and a close one at that. "No, nothing like that," Twilight began, "I'm just showing these two around Ponyville. They just moved in to town," she finished before motioning a hoof at Daedalus and Razor. Daedalus dipped his head a bit as she pointed and Razor's mouth merely hung slack jawed, more than likely overwhelmed by the beauty of the pony before him. At least, he was for about a second before he shook his head to clear and thoughts he may have had before he regained his former composure. Daedalus didn’t even bother to say anything about that. It was at that moment that the white unicorn noticed the two stallions behind her friend. She glanced over at the two new stallions for a second and took them in with the careful precision and eye that a dressmaker would examine most works of clothing. The unicorn, while a bit thin, was clearly somepony that came from an athletic background and perhaps did some work in a physically demanding field. More importantly, based upon the way he kept himself, he carried little care for what others thought of his appearance, and of course, that mane of his. In her words, it was a travesty and was in desperate need of a thorough scrubbing and shampooing immediately, and perhaps a bit of styling, as it was much too long for a stallion. At first, she thought he might have been a mare, but then quickly noticed otherwise. Other than that, she found his appearance pleasing, and he had a certain gleam to his eye that drew her in. None of this was bad in any conceivable way, but at the same time, she got a hint that perhaps she should watch herself when dealing with him, at least until she got to know him better. The Pegasus on the other hoof, she looked at him and felt that he was more or less average until the unicorn stepped close. He was easily a whole six, perhaps even eight inches taller in comparison. His mane appeared a bit more up kept than the unicorn's but still possessed that quality of carelessness that the unicorn’s did. His overall quiet and steady demeanor gave her the opinion of a business stallion, but the glasses gave a hint of an artisan or more appropriately, a researcher. However, once he fluffed his wings a bit, she felt a blush appear on her cheeks that she immediately made attempts to suppress, given that her friend was near. "Really... Well, it’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, darlings, my name is," she whipped her mane and blinked heavily with her long eyelashes extenuated, "Rarity," she stated with an almost seductive whimper to her voice and a bright smile on her face. “Mehrunes Dagon Razor,” Razor said to her as he extended a friendly hoof. “Nice to meet you.” “May runes...?” Rarity said as she shook his hoof, a hint of wonder in her voice. “What an interesting name.” “Just call me Razor,” Razor said as the two let go. “Everypony else does.” "My name is," Daedalus stepped forward and gently took her hoof in his, "Daedalus the Thirteenth, darling," said, giving the hoof a small peck. “Oh my,” Rarity said as she let a light blush cover her cheeks. “Aren't we the charmer?” She found his voice a little bit more soothing than Razor’s for whatever reason. “Some would say that, others might not,” Daedalus chuckled. Rarity couldn’t help but chuckle as well at that. “So you two are new to Ponyville,” she began to say to the two of them. “Where are you from?” she asked. “Fillydelphia, though originally we’re both from Canterlot,” Razor replied rather bluntly. "Canterlot, only by birth, mostly," Daedalus added. “Canterlot... Fillydelphia... My whatever made the two of you decide to move to Ponyville?” Rarity suddenly asked them, a hint of heavy curiosity in her voice. “Canterlot did not taste well and Fillydelphia was more or less the result of needing to change scenery... Immediately,” Daedalus replied. “Really,” Rarity said to him, now even more interested in them for whatever reason. “Well, to each his ow... Waahahaaa!!!” It was then that she noticed the black tie Daedalus wore around his neck. “Darling, what is that... thing... around your neck?” She asked in a manner that suggested she might have been horrified by what she saw. “This is my tie,” Daedalus asked slightly confused as he pointed to it with his left hoof. “I always wear my tie,” he paused for a moment to look back up at her. “What’s wrong with my tie?” “Wha wha wha... It’s just... so...” Rarity began to say before Daedalus cut her off. “Do you think there is something wrong with it because I don’t see what’s wrong with it.” “Boring!” Rarity finally said. "Come again?" Daedalus asked, annoyed. "It's such a boring and flat color, and well, that collar doesn't help your case either," Rarity added to which Daedalus merely looked down at both and looked back at her. "Really, because last time I checked, this was the optimal business wear for stallions that don't do coats. I don't do coats." “Oh, I can give you a nice new tie with several colors and a rather interesting pattern that will surely garner the attention of both your business partners,” she said before getting right up next to him and rubbed her cheek against his. "And the mares,” she cooed, raising a blush in Twilight and Razor. Daedalus turned to her, his face remaining the same as he looked her straight in the eye. “I like this one.” “Twilight, darling,” Rarity said as she turned to face the lavender unicorn. “What do you think of his tie?” “Oh um...” Twilight said, suddenly caught off guard. “It’s okay. I guess.... I like it.” “Of course you would,” Rarity said as she let out a loud sigh as she turned back to Daedalus. "It's no problem at all darling, really, I insist. You can keep that one if you want, just let me make you a nice, dashing, new...” “I have dozens,” Daedalus suddenly said. “What?” Rarity gasped, suddenly shocked. "I don't need a new one to add to the menagerie," Daedalus bluntly uttered. “Wha... No, no, no...” Rarity replied as she shook her head. “I insist on making you a new tie. Perhaps something with cyan, maybe a nice mauve,” She said as she began to slowly walk away from the three of them. “Oh! I know a burgundy tie with a black collar that would make him quite the dashing stallion, now!” She continued on for long until she was out of their hearing range, leaving a very confused Razor and Daedalus in her wake. "She's going to make me a tie, whether I like it or not Miss Sparkle?" Daedalus asked, staring off at the mare as she left for what he presumed was her home. "Yes," Twilight responded. "Well, fuck me Nay Bradbury." Daedalus said. There was a long moment of silence between the three of them after that. “You know she’s faking that accent right?” Razor suddenly, yet discreetly asked Daedalus out of nowhere. "Well, of course. She's clearly from the Midwest and is just using it to try and separate herself from a middle class upbringing to appear like she's from high society." Twilight didn’t say anything to either of them either because she didn’t hear what they said or didn’t want to. Either way, she kept her mouth shut. “Well, shall we get going?” Twilight asked as she turned to face them. “Yes, lets,” Daedalus replied. Razor just nodded his head in agreement without saying anything. With that, the three of them headed on. However, they had barely gotten two blocks down one of the many other streets when suddenly, what looked like a grey Pegasus with a blonde mane and tail suddenly came crashing from the sky and somehow became lodged inside of the nearest mailbox. Strangely enough though, nopony around seemed to pay this incident any mind. “What the fuck?” Razor exclaimed, concerned as he sprinted over to the distraught Pegasus. "Well, I can see why Dash is the best,” Daedalus said as he ran after him. Twilight didn’t say anything as she went after them. The grey Pegasus, unfortunately for her, had her head lodged within a mailbox in front of one of the many identical buildings of Ponyville. With both her hooves on the mailbox she tried with what might she could she could muster to pull herself out, but to no avail. “You okay?” Razor asked her as he reached her. “Yeah,” the Pegasus said to him, her voice a little distilled by the mailbox. “I’m fine, but I’m just stuck.” "Here, let us help you," Daedalus said as both he and Razor both approached the mailbox and took a hold of the Pegasus. Both of them grabbed around her waist and pulled back as hard as they could. At first, her head refused to budge, and the mailbox seemed to be slipping from the ground as they pulled. Razor however, saw this and with his magic, held the mailbox in place as they pulled, a green aura surrounding the mailbox. Less than a moment later, the sound of rather loud ‘POP’ signaled that they had gotten her head free. Both Razor and Daedalus immediately fell backwards onto their heads with a rather loud thud as the newly freed Pegasus landed on top of them. The grey Pegasus was the first to get back up onto her feet, her fall having been broken by both Razor and Daedalus. Once she was up, she extended a hoof to help up Daedalus while Razor got up on his own. “Sorry,” she innocently said to the two of them as she put on an adorable smile. The Pegasus mare before them looked to both of her saviors, her blonde mane a bit un-kept and not too unlike that of Rainbow Dash's. She smiled so brightly that it seemed nearly impossible for either Razor or Daedalus to not smile, in fact both found themselves with a sort of joyful grin upon their faces. She floated in the air a bit and from where she was, the two could tell that her cutie mark appeared to be a collection of bubbles. She wore a mailbag at her side and atop her head was a mail carrier's cap complete with the official postal service shield in brass. But, by the far the one feature that the two could not draw themselves away from was her eyes, for one of them looked straight on at them, well more or less to their hooves. The other looked upwards and to the side a bit, both a rich caramel color with a brightness that seemed to radiate with a happy innocence that neither Razor nor Daedalus could properly identify. In brief, she looked abso-fucking-lutely adorable. “Thank you both for helping me,” the grey Pegasus said to them in a voice that sounded just as adorable as she looked. “Oh, it’s no problem,” Razor said to her as he lightly laughed to himself. “Are you all right Ms...” Daedalus asked. After he said that he tried to bring himself to speak more, about why in Equestria she flew into the mailbox, but all his mind could rationalize was: “SHE’S SO CELESTIA-DAMNED ADORABLE!” “Derpy,” She said to them. “Derpy Hooves.” “Derpy... Hooves?” Razor said, slightly confused. “Yep,” Derpy said as she let out another innocent giggle. “That’s my name.” It was at that point that she, or at least her right eye, noticed just who the two stallions in front of he were. “Say I’ve never seen either of you around town before,” she said to them with all the enthusiasm of an eager child. "We just moved here, Miss Hooves," Daedalus said with a light chuckle to his voice. “Really!” Derpy suddenly said in the most enthusiastic manner possible. “Welcome to Ponyville!” she suddenly exclaimed as she grabbed Daedalus’ hoof and started shaking it rapidly, and much to even his own surprise, Daedalus’ hoof actually moved. When she was done with him, she moved on to Razor. “Well, I have to get back to work,” she said as she finished shaking Razor’s hoof. “Maybe we’ll see each other again soon. Hey, maybe I’ll deliver a letter to your house!” She exclaimed with as much enthusiasm as before. “Yeah, I’m sure we will,” Razor said with a light chuckle. “And I’m sure you will too.” “Well, I better get going. It was nice meeting you. Bye!” she said to them with as much enthusiasm as before, and as quickly as she had appeared, she had flown off into parts of Ponyville unknown. "Razor," Daedalus said, his gaze not once looking away from the mare. "Yes?" Razor replied, his gaze never once leaving her either. "I don't know why but I have the urge to hug that pony." “All I wanna know is what in the name of Celestia is up with her eyes?” "Clearly she was born that way and I don't fucking care." Daedalus said as he turned his attention back to Razor, and then to Twilight who had just caught up with them. Razor decided not to say anything, for he knew that the results of doing so could only be disastrous in this case. “Well,” Twilight said to break the ice. “Shall we...” “Yes, let’s get going,” Razor said before he and Twilight continued down the street. Daedalus followed close behind. The three resumed walking down the street and left the garment district. Eventually, the three of them found themselves in an entirely different part of the town when suddenly a white rabbit ran out from the bushes carrying a pocket watch in his paws. Razor looked down at the creature with some puzzlement while Daedalus found himself wondering if he hit his head too hard while helping Derpy. Twilight just sighed to herself as the two could have sworn she said, 'Not this again'. All at once, a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane jumped out from bushes nearest them and grabbed the rabbit in her hooves. "Angel Bunny!" she scolded the rabbit who looked at her with a look that could be best summed up as 'Do I look like I give a shit.' "How many times do I have to tell you that is not your watch so stop taking it." “Hi, Fluttershy," Twilight said to her, prompting the Pegasus to turn to her friend. "Oh, hello, Twi - EEP!" she suddenly screamed, well, at least the three of them assumed it was meant to be a scream, upon facing her friend. “Um... Twilight,” The yellow Pegasus said to her as she pointed her right hoof in the general direction of Razor and Daedalus. “Who are they?” she asked. “Oh, they just moved to Ponyville. So I’m showing them around,” Twilight said to her. After that was over, she extended her hoof in the general direction of Fluttershy and said to the two of them. “Razor, Daedalus, meet Fluttershy.” After she said that turned back to face Fluttershy, who still held the appearance of a timid rabbit. An apt comparison as a not at all timid rabbit stood right on her tail. “Fluttershy, meet Razor and Daedalus.” “Nice, to meet you,” Razor said as he extended a friendly hoof towards her. As he did, the yellow Pegasus backed away a little bit. Her cheeks internally seemed to catch fire as she turned a shade of red. "Hello, Miss Fluttershy," Daedalus said extending a hoof to her as well, to which she continued to back away. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Again, she backed away from him as he extended his hoof, her blush only intensifying as she did. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two stallions as quick as her rabbit friend would have moved. All the while, she remained glued to the spot as she stood on visibly shaking. “Um... Nice to meet you...” she said to them, though her voice barely rose above a whimper. It was so quiet in fact, that none of them, not even Twilight, could possibly understand what she said. “Sorry, didn’t quite catch that,” Razor said to her, trying to sound as polite as he could. “Umm umm umm umm....” was all they could hear her say again. Again, her eyes darted quickly between the two of them, then to Twilight, and then to the two of them again, then back to Twilight. “I’m sorry...” she said to her friend in a voice that was not any louder than she had previously been. Then, in a motion to quick for any of them to see, at a speed that would put Rainbow Dash to shame, she quickly turned 180 degrees and bolted down the street away from them. All the saw was a pink colored blur in her wake that disappeared down the road as quickly as she did. "Well, that was... bizarre." Daedalus said as he watched the pink trail disappear in front of him. “I apologize for my friend,” Twilight said to them, her own face blushing nervously somewhat. “She’s just like that.” “It’s okay,” Razor said to her. “Not the first time I’ve met a mare like that.” "Yes, but she seemed a bit... well shocked by our presence." Daedalus added. “She’s just shy around everypony, especially ponies she doesn’t know,” Twilight replied. "Hence her name, I suppose,” he replied. “Yeah, I suppose,” Twilight said. Razor didn’t say anything, since he honestly couldn’t think of anything that Daedalus hadn’t already said. From there the three of them continued on their tour through town. Deep down though, Daedalus could understand where Twilight was coming from on this one. He knew what it was like to have to explain for a friend, or more specifically in his case, his roommate. About thirty minutes later, the three of them found themselves back towards the center of town where Twilight drew their attention to a giant tree just down the road from where they stood. “And that’s the library where I live and work,” she said to them as she pointed it out to them. “You live in a library?” Razor asked, suddenly curious. “Yes,” Twilight responded. “Is that a problem?” “No,” Razor said as he shook his head. The second he was done, Daedalus leaned in close and whispered to him. “I swear to Celestia if you even think about...” he began to say before Razor cut him off. “Oh I wouldn’t dream of it,” Razor whispered back as he put a grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear before he looked back over to Twilight. Twilight just smiled to herself as she looked back at the two of them. “You know, you aren’t so bad,” she said to them. The instant those words left her mouth though, Razor suddenly felt himself straighten up. His limbs locked up and his neck locked in place as he stood up straight and tall and his eyes locked back on Twilight. As he stood there, he could feel his face turning a few shades redder than it was before. “Umm... come again...” was all he could say, and he stuttered a bit while saying it. Twilight could only giggle to herself as she saw that. Daedalus, on the other hoof, didn’t say anything or look any different than he had looked before. “Well, I should probably get back. Spike’s probably wondering what’s taking me so long,” she said as she turned and began to trot towards the tree library. “Maybe I’ll see you two around some time,” she said as she turned back to look at them before she went any further than three steps. “Wha... Oh, yeah,” Razor said as his eyes seemed to drift to any location but her, though the red on his face remained. “Thanks for showing us around.” “Oh, it was no problem,” she said to them. Razor could almost swear he saw her bat her eyelashes at him. “Well, I should go,” she said as she trotted off. “Bye, and welcome to Ponyville!” she yelled out at them as she walked back towards the library. “Bye,” Daedalus said as he waved a hoof. “And thank you.” “Bye... Twi... light...” was all Razor could say as he tried to wave a hoof, but found himself unable to as he shut his mouth. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she walked away from him. Her lavender coat, her purple mane, the way she moved her flank when she walked away from him. Everything about her practically screamed 'YES' to him. He was so focused on her that he didn’t even notice that he had been standing there, unmoving and unblinking, for several minutes. “Razor?” Daedalus said to him as he noticed this. Razor didn’t respond, he just kept his eyes on Twilight. “Razor...” Daedalus tried again, but again to no avail. “Razor...” he tried again while waving his hoof in front of his roommate’s face. Still, he got no reaction out of him. Razor still kept his gaze forward. In front of him at the tree library, Twilight had already opened the front door and walked on through it. She was no longer in his sight, but still he felt the urge to look. Inside Razor’s head, the metaphorical hamster wheel that kept his brain going suddenly began to spin ever faster as the hamster sped up as a picture of the lavender mare was dangled in front of him. He sped up faster and faster to try to reach her. Faster, and faster, and faster, and faster he went until the hamster wheel suddenly caught fire and set the whole inner workings of Razor’s mind ablaze. “Razor...” Daedalus said to his friend again as he snapped his hoof in front of Razor’s face for several moments to try and get his attention. Exactly how he was snapping his hoof was a mystery that neither he nor Razor cared about right now though, as there were other things on their minds. Suddenly, Razor’s right eye began to twitch. It was small at first, but then it started to get more frequent and out of control. Then the right corner of his mouth started to twitch as well. It was at this point when Daedalus saw the obvious early signs of a seizure that he kicked Razor with his back right leg. “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!” was the sound that came out of Razor’s mouth as he shot up into the air the moment Daedalus' leg touched him. It wasn’t unlike their encounter with the strange pink earth pony earlier in the day. When Razor came back down, he landed on his two rear hooves and threw both his forehooves up into the air. “SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!” were the only words to come out of his mouth as he landed. He practically screamed them. His sudden outburst drew the attention of practically every pony in the town that happened to be within earshot. However, he didn’t notice nor even care that he became the spectacle of the entire town in that moment. “And with that, you’ve lost me,” Daedalus said with a hint of confusion as Razor finished shouting. However, Razor just ignored him in favor of more shouting. “SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!” Razor shouted again while still standing on his back hooves, completely oblivious to who or what might have been watching him. Daedalus just rolled his eyes and sighed again as Razor finished shouting again. “Come on, we have shit to set up,” he said as he began to walk away. Razor, surprisingly enough, fell back down onto four hooves and followed him. END PART 2 Author's Note Character Profiles: Razor Full Name: Mehrunes Dagon Razor Race: Unicorn Region of Origin: Canterlot Occupation: Pyrotechnician (former: royal guard) Voice: Kyle Herbert as Kamina from Gurren Lagann Coat Color: Really Dark Grey Mane Color: Light Brown Eye Color: Green Special Talent: Setting and controlling fire/Causing anarchy Theme Song: You’re Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring Drawn by DaedaltheusXIV Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 3 Twenty minutes later, both Razor and Daedalus had made their way over towards their new house, which lay at the edge of town. It wasn’t as far away from the town as Fluttershy’s house, but it was still for the most part, out of the way. From the outside, the house appeared to be rather simple, nothing out of the ordinary, though it did have a balcony. The house appeared to be, for the most part, a simple three level building with a grey and beige hardboard siding exterior that set it apart from several other buildings that stood at best 50 ft from theirs. The entrance was set back inside of a small portico with the house number in black above the door. A grey mailbox on a single wooden post was next to it, the names of the two occupants written on the sides of it. Each level of the home possessed at least four windows, and at the second level was a balcony that hung off to the side by about ten feet of the portico and had a set of double doors leading to the interior study that belonged to Daedalus. The roof slanted off to the right side of the house into a small garden with a large tree growing out of it. Daedalus explained it as such, ‘that the tree and garden would receive supplemental water during the rainy seasons from the roof runoff.’ The design of the house hardly mattered at all though as the two of them made their way towards it, Razor with a bit more of a, actually with a lot more of a spring in his step since they left Twilight. In fact, he hadn’t stopped singing since they saw her. “I ain’t got anything to lose - nothing to lose,” he sang out, “And I’ll never forget when I saw you, she looks good…” “Razor...” Daedalus groaned. “Please for the love of Celestia, Luna, Tartarus, and all else that exists PLEASE STOP SINGING!” “She looks good,” Razor continued as he ignored his Pegasus friend. “And it’s true, the mare is beautiful, SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!” All Daedalus could do was groan again loudly as Razor kept singing. The moment they got in front of their house though, Daedalus stopped. Razor, since he was just following him, stopped moving and instead skipped in place as he kept singing. “Razor,” Daedalus said to him, but again he got the same results as before. “SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!” Razor kept singing, completely ignoring his friend. “She’s a lesbian,” Daedalus suddenly said, and with that, Razor shut up. “WHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!” he suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs. “Good, now that I have your attention. Where’s the cart?” Daedalus said, not at all worried about what he had just said. “BUT TWILI-” “I lied, she’s not a lesbian, but where is the cart?” Daedalus replied. Razor just let out a sigh of relief, and then he suddenly inhaled again to take another breath and being to sing again. Before he could do anything more though, Daedalus punched him in the chest and very nearly screamed “RAZOR WHERE IS THE CART!” “What cart?” was all Razor could ask as he rubbed a hoof on his chest where Daedalus hit him. “The cart with all our stuff in it. It was supposed to be right here. Where is it?” He asked again as he shot Razor a glare that was embodied the full fury of all the foulest monstrosities kept within the deepest darkest of the Tartarusian abyss in a single look. “How should I know, I was with you all day?” Razor replied, to which Daedalus could only let out another groan of frustration. With no better idea of where it could be, Daedalus stomped on over to the front door. He was about to take out his key when he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. “Razor?” “Yes?” “Why is the front door unlocked?” “The fuck you asking me for?” “Razor...” Daedalus began to say as he shot an even darker version of that dark Tartarusian stare back at Razor. “I swear to Celestia that if anything is missing there isn’t going to be a single corner, on this Celestia forsaken earth, THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HIDE IN...” “SURPRISE!” shouted what must have been thirty ponies, all of which were in their house as Daedalus opened the door. “Well, shit,” was all Daedalus could say. Inside of the house on the first level, Daedalus and Razor saw that each square foot was filled with ponies, all of which they had never seen before, well with the exception of Dash hanging from the ceiling lamp, Rarity talking with several stallions and Fluttershy just standing off in the corner of the room. “How in Tartarus did you all get into my house!?” Daedalus yelled at all of them. It was at that moment that a beige earth pony with a red mane and a rose for a cutie mark stepped forward. “The door was open,” she politely responded in a very feminine voice. A yellow Pegasus with teal hair and some raindrops for a cutie mark stood next to her. "And you all decided to just walk on in?" Daedalus replied. “Of course,” the beige mare replied as she giggled a little bit. “After all it is a party.” “And...” Daedalus began to say before Razor put his hoof out in front of him and stepped forward. “Pardon my friend, ladies,” he said in a polite tone that made the two of them giggle just a little bit. “But there was a cart parked outside with all of our things in it. Do you by any chance know what happened to it?” “Oh, that,” the Pegasus said. “We took all those out and put them in the room at the back and sent the cart driver home.” Minutes later, both Razor and Daedalus stood in the doorway to the room that would be their walk-in pantry to see that all the boxes of all their things there. Unopened and undisturbed. “Well, fuck me Nay Bradbury,” Daedalus stated to nopony in particular. “We didn’t touch anything or open any of the boxes,” the beige mare said to them. “Thank you ladies,” Razor politely said to the two of them as he gave them a friendly wink. “We just wanted to know where they were.” At that, he turned his attention back to Daedalus, who again let out a loud sigh of frustration. That done, both he and Razor closed the walk in pantry doors and stepped away from it back in to the party. "It's not that I don't mind all of this,” Daedalus said as he and Razor walked back into their living room. “It's just that I was hoping to do some unpacking tonight.” Razor could only laugh aloud at that. “Come on Daedalus, relax,” he said as he placed a friendly hoof around Daedalus’ neck. “They went to all this trouble to throw a welcome party for us. We might as well enjoy it,” he added with a devious grin. Daedalus rolled his eyes before he and Razor walked briskly into the sea of ponies that was in their house when a familiar orange earth pony wearing a Stetson hat showed up with two mugs of cider on her back. "Why howdy Daedalus, howdy Razor" She said over the increasingly loud music and the sound of several dozen ponies having a good time. It didn’t take long at all for either of them to remember who she was. “Oh hey, Applejack,” Razor replied. “It’s nice to see you again.” “Likewise,” Daedalus added. Applejack just laughed to herself at that before she turned to her side and presented the two mugs of cider to Razor and Daedalus. Without questioning it, or her, at all, the two of them each took one of mugs from her. Daedalus, as soon as the mug reached his hoof, chugged the entire mug of cider, not once letting the cup fall away from his mouth. Razor wasn’t at all far behind either. “Ya'll like it?” Applejack politely asked them in that southern accent of hers. “It's the Apple Family spec...” SLAM! "Another!" Daedalus shouted as he slammed his mug onto the counter. The moment he did, everypony suddenly cheered with excitement. With that, the party was in full swing, and it didn’t take long at all for Razor and Daedalus to get their second helpings of cider either. The music blasted louder as the ponies danced round the room with wild exhilaration. Dancing was done, drinks were had, and everypony for the most part seemed to enjoy Razor and Daedalus’ company. Well, they enjoyed Razor’s company. Daedalus was more or less just tolerable. Overall, fun was had, and neither of them would say that they weren’t enjoying themselves. About half way through the night though, things took a more or less, wild turn. “Daedalus, Daedalus, Daedalus,” Razor kept repeating to his friend as he repeatedly poked him in his side. “What the fuck do you want!?” Daedalus responded in a manner that said out loud 'stop poking me before I end you'. “She’s right there,” Razor said as he pointed a hoof across the room, all the while not even looking at Daedalus. He did stop poking him though. “Who?” Daedalus asked before he looked in the direction Razor was pointing. It was at a point in the house across the room. There, ponies of all kinds talked with each other. He saw Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and a few others, but more specifically, he saw Twilight, and all at once, he knew what Razor was getting at. As he saw her, all he could do was roll his eyes, a gesture which Razor did not see as he had already left his side and started walking towards her. “And there he goes,” was all Daedalus could say before he turns his attention back to the ponies in front of him and the fresh mug of cider in his hoof. With both his eyes and his mind dead set and locked on to his target, Razor walked forward through the crowd of ponies towards Twilight. The sea of ponies all around him weren’t there to him. The music wasn’t playing, there wasn’t any other noise, and there wasn’t even any extra cider... okay there might have been some of that, but otherwise, there was nothing else. There were only two things in the room, him, and the lavender unicorn on the far side of the room. It was all that needed to be there, at least for him. Right as he passed the half way mark between him and Twilight however, he was suddenly interrupted. All at once, there appeared a pink blur that floated gracefully above the crowd of party ponies and seemed to remain there for several seconds. Then, the grace turned to assault as it suddenly descended from the air and collided with the unicorn that was making his way over to Twilight. Within moments, the pink blur was revealed to be in fact, a pink pony, more specifically a pink earth pony mare. She stood there on top of Razor, her bright blue eyes darting up and down his body before she let out a loud giggling sound before what many assumed to be confetti shot out from her frizzy pink mane. “SURPRISE!” she practically yelled out at him in a very high pitch, singsong type of voice. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” was the only thing that could escape Razor’s mouth as the pink pony that was on top of him started talking. All Daedalus did when Razor’s scream hit his ears was turn to look, and what he saw damn near made his eyes get so wide they threatened to burst right out of his skull. “Hi! You must be Razor!” the pink pony said to him in what must have been the most bubble gummy voice Razor had ever heard in his life. It was at that moment that Razor recognized the pony as the pink earth pony that he met earlier in the day, the one who out of nowhere jumped into the air and gasped upon seeing him. Still, he didn’t say anything, as he found himself unable to utter any coherent words, and not in the same way he found himself unable to speak when Twilight was around. The pink pony who sat on top of him in a position that was kind of compromising however, took his inability to speak as an invitation to continue talking in her very bubble gummy voice. “I’m Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you and your friend Daedalus. Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Were you!” Every time she said the words 'were you’, she moved her face increasingly closer to Razor’s until he was all but certain that the space between their faces was actually negative. She pressed her eyes up against his and he watched her blink almost in point-of-view. After she said it that third time though, she pulled her head back as quickly as she pushed it closer to him and kept talking. “I saw you walking through town and you were like ‘hello’ and I was like GASP, don’t you remember, huh, huh,” she didn’t even give Razor a chance to remember as she kept going like she was on a permanent sugar rush, which may have been the case. “You see I’ve never seen you before and if I’ve never seen you before that means that you’re new, cause I know everypony and I mean EVERYPONY in Ponyville, and then you told me that you were new and then I went 'GASP' because if you’re new that means you haven’t met anyone yet and if you haven’t met anyone yet then you must not have any friends and if you don’t have any friends you must be lonely, and that’s why I went 'GASP' cause I got an idea. I should throw great big ginormous super duper, duper, super duper, duper, super amazingly wonderful spectacular welcome party...” as she said that bit to him her body refused to stop shaking and by extension since she sat on him, so did Razor’s “and invite EVERYPONY in Ponyville! See!” It was at that point that she closed the distance between their faces again into the negative space again as she continued, “And now you have lots of...” “GET OFF OF ME!” Razor shouted as he finally found the will to speak. Elsewhere in the party, not more than what could have been a few drinking ponies and one red faced Berry Punch away, there came the sound of laughter. It was the sound of deep, suffocating chortles that almost immediately devolved into loud cackling at the sight of Razor on the floor squealing in agonized terror of having Pinkie Pie on top of him. Some of the guests turned to see Daedalus, deep within a fit of cackling laughter, as it seemed like he could collapse onto the floor at any given moment. Amazingly enough though, despite him laughing the whole time, his mug of cider never spilled. He continued laughing even as he raised himself and just stood there laughing between sips of cider as his friend continued to scream in terror. “Ah...” Pinkie Pie said as she pulled her face back away from Razor. “Looks like somepony needs a hug!” She said as she suddenly threw her hooves out. “NO WAI...!” Razor tried to shout, but to no avail. Within an instant, he suddenly felt himself unable to speak again as the pink party pony fell on top of him and wrapped her hooves around his neck so tightly that he could swear she was crushing his windpipe. She also buried her face and hair in his neck as she did in a way that would suggest cuddling, at least it would suggest cuddling if she wasn’t squeezing his neck so hard it could snap off. As Razor lay there suffocating on the floor, his ears and eventually eyes caught the attention of the still laughing Daedalus, whose legs had finally given out as he finally collapsed onto the floor. Daedalus writhed on the floor in a fit of laughter, each laughing cackle taking at least one deep breath to make the sound. He laughed there as several ponies just looked down at the Pegasus, not sure of what to make of the scene. Some thought he might have gone mad, others thought that he was overacting, and some thought that he was simply drunk off his ass. He kicked his legs with each cackling laugh and made at least one attempt to stand, just the one. As he stood, he looked over to see Razor still pinned under the eagerly happy and overly zealous Pinkie Pie before letting out a loud, throaty snort. All at once, he collapsed again with a loud thud, cackling in such gleeful delight that most ponies could never imagine seeing in their lives. "Is he... all right?" Rarity asked, pointing a hoof at Daedalus, the other holding with delicate precision a martini glass with olive and lemon slice. "Ah think so," Applejack replied, handing off another mug of cider before staring off at the almost suffocating Daedalus. “Daedalus...” Razor barely managed to say with his chocked out voice. “Get her off of me!” “Can't... breathe... so... funny!” was all Daedalus could say as he continued laughing. “Pinkie Pie!” said a lavender unicorn like voice as Twilight walked over and with a strength that almost seemed to defy her, pulled the pink party pony off of Razor. The second her hooves were clear of his neck Razor immediately gasped for air as he took in a rather large breath or air, and then another one just in case the first one wasn’t enough. With Pinkie Pie clear of Razor by at least a few feet, Twilight set her friend down back onto her four hooves. The look she gave the pink pony was one similar to the one she gave to Spike earlier in the day. “Pinkie, I don’t think he does hugs,” she said to her pink friend. “What, he doesn’t do hugs, but that’s silly everypony does hugs,” Pinkie Pie replied, almost as if she were completely oblivious to the fact that she had nearly suffocated Razor. “Pinkie...” Twilight said to her as she really stressed the last part of her name as she just stared at her. Razor just stayed where he was on the ground, afraid that if he got up he would only be taken down to the ground again. Daedalus for the most part, had appeared to stop laughing as he just lay on the floor where he was attempting to catch his breath. "Everypony does hugs, even stone faced laughy pants Daedalus over there must do hugs.” “Pinkie...” Twilight said again, in a manner that said, 'I won’t say your name a third time'. “Fine, be like that Ms. No Huggy pants,” she said to Twilight as she turned and bounced away, not walked, bounced. With her gone, Twilight let out a sigh and turned over to Razor, a smile adorned her face as she looked at him. All Razor could do was stare back up at her, as he still wasn’t able to formulate any words. “I’m sorry Razor,” Twilight said as he extended a hoof, which Razor gladly took as she helped him back onto his hooves. “She’s just like that sometimes.” “What...” Razor tried to say to her, though his voice barely rose above a whimper. “What is she?” “Oh, that’s just my friend Pinkie Pie. She can be a little overenthusiastic sometimes,” Twilight replied. The instant the last words left her mouth however, Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared behind Razor again, jumped on him and tacked him to the ground again as she threw her hooves around his neck, thus making everything Twilight said to her, entirely pointless. “I forgot to ask!” Pinkie Pie said to Razor, as she didn’t choke him out this time. “Are you having fun? Are you, are you, are you, are you?” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” was the only sound that could come out of Razor’s mouth as Pinkie held him to the floor. “YES!” was the sound that came from Daedalus’ mouth as he collapsed back onto the floor and started laughing himself into suffocation again. After a few more hours, several more attempts to get Pinkie Pie off or Razor, and one to get her off Daedalus, the party began to die down a little, as it was well past one in the morning and time for everypony to go home. Razor and Daedalus stood by the door to see everyone out as they left. Overall, they enjoyed the company of the residents of Ponyville. They were a nice and jubilant bunch, so it was only right to see them out. Well, Daedalus saw them out, Razor was off to the side talking to Twilight one more time. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” Twilight said to him as he walked her out. “Yeah,” Razor replied. “I’ll see you around.” Razor replied to her, any and all moments, or lack thereof, he had going had been broken by the 'unfortunate' arrival of a certain pink pony. With all that said, Twilight trotted out the door. Razor just stood where he was and watched her go, a familiar blush returned to his face as he did. With her gone, Razor and Daedalus’ house was as empty as it had so far never been. “Razor, if I may ask,” Daedalus said as he walked up next to his friend. “What in the name of Celestia has gotten into you?” Razor didn’t even look away from the door as he responded to him. “She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine,” was all he said. “So say you Razor,” Daedalus said as he took one last drink from his last mug of cider. “So say you.” “Who’ll be yours?” asked Pinkie Pie, who had suddenly appeared out from behind the two of them. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Razor screamed as he almost fell back into Daedalus as the pink party pony circled around the two of them and got in front of them. However, Daedalus was not about to have any of that bullshit and held him up so that he didn’t fall. “YOU'RE STILL HERE!?” Razor screamed at her as soon as he was back on his four hooves. “Why of course silly,” was her only response as she let out her characteristic giggle that they had by this point heard many times that night. “Now who did you say will be yours?” she asked curiously. “Well, you see Miss Pie,” Daedalus began to speak. “My roommate here has developed feelings for a certain mare in this town.” “OOH OOOHH REALLY, REALLY!” Pinkie Pie responded, now suddenly interested. “WHO WHO!?” Out of nowhere, Razor jumped up, wrapped his right forehoof around Daedalus’ neck and covered his mouth. “UHH, NO ONE, NO ONE!” Razor responded nervously. “It’s nothing. Forget what he said.” “Really...” Pinkie responded as if she wasn’t buying it. “Yes,” Razor responded back. “Really...” She said again. Almost as soon as she did, Daedalus mumbled something under Razor’s hoof. “What did you say?” she asked him. “NOTHING ITS NOTHING!” Razor frantically said as he held his hoof in place. He almost appeared to start sweating a bit. A bit “So why don’t you go home?” “Remove your hoof from my mouth or I will architect a world of pain all over your candy-ass!” Daedalus mumbled at Razor from under his hoof. “Military training my feathered friend,” Razor whispered to Daedalus in response. Fortunately, Pinkie Pie didn’t seem to hear him. “Anti-magic field generator and access to things that not even Celestia wants to know exists,” Daedalus responded from under Razor’s hoof again, though Razor’s hoof on his mouth made most of his words a little difficult to understand. “Oh, okay then,” Pinkie Pie said to the two of them as she seemed to completely forget about what Daedalus tried to tell her a second ago. “Bye Razor. Bye Daedalus,” she said as she turned around and hopped towards the door. Right before she passed through it though, she turned back around to face them and said, “Maybe I’ll invite you two to another party sometime.” “LEAVE!” Razor screamed at her without even bothering to hold it back or make it sound like a request. That attempt though, appeared to be successful as she bounced right on through the door and in a gesture of politeness, closed it behind her. “Whew,” Razor let out a sigh of relief as Pinkie left and let his hoof fall from Daedalus’ mouth back onto the floor. He let his eyes glaze over for a moment as it seemed that all of his problems... CRACK! “OW!” was the only sound that came from Razor as Daedalus punched him square in the right side of his face. “What in Tartarus?” Razor asked as he rubbed the side of his face that Daedalus hit with his right hoof. “What was that for?” “What’s the big deal about letting somepony know that you have feelings for somepony else, eh?” Daedalus asked him, a hint of frustration in his voice. “Nothing's wrong with that it’s just...” Razor began to say, but then cut himself off. “It’s just...” “It’s just what?” At that, Razor just let out a loud sigh and let his hoof drop from his face. “Look, Daedalus,” Razor began to say as he turned his head away from Daedalus. The look on his face was no longer what it had previously been throughout the night. If anything, he looked sad, almost depressed or to be more accurate, like he was really worried about something but afraid to say what it really was. Even Daedalus was somewhat surprised to see that reaction. “She’s not like any other mare I’ve known and,” Razor paused, and Daedalus listened with some interested. “I REALLY want this one to work out. So please,” he said as he turned back to face his friend. “Just for now can you please keep it on the down low?” “Whatever,” Daedalus replied as he let out a sigh. He would have said more, but with Razor like that, he knew it would get him nowhere. “And please for the love of Celestia don’t tell the pink one?” Razor asked as if doing so would bring about the apocalypse. “Fine,” Daedalus replied, to which Razor could only let out another sigh of relief as he let his head sink towards the floor. “Thanks,” Razor said as he picked his head back up. “I knew I could count on you.” “Uh huh,” was all Daedalus could say in response. At that, Razor was about to say something when he let out a yawn instead. “Well, I am absolutely bushwhacked,” he said as he made his way towards the stairs. “We should probably get some sleep. We still gotta finish moving in tomorrow, and I gotta get my business set up here.” Before he reached the stairs he turned back to face Daedalus. “I imagine you’ll need to do something like that as well.” “I have some affairs to attend to,” Daedalus said as he walked over to the kitchen “Some letters to send, some ponies to ask about supply stores, and the like.” “So yeah,” Razor said as he let out another yawn. “I’m gonna hit the hay. Do whatever you want.” “Haven’t I always?” Daedalus replied with a hint of sarcasm as Razor walked up the stairs and up to his room where he could get some sleep. Overall, it was a good first day in Ponyville. End of Chapter 1 Author's Note Character Profiles: Daedalus Full Name: Daedalus Olympus the XIIIth Race: Pegasus Region of Origin: Canterlot Occupation: Architect Voice: Crispin Freeman as Alucard from Hellsing Coat Color: Light brown/Tan Mane Color: Black Eye Color: Reddish brown Special Talent: Architecture Theme Song: Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz Drawn by DaedaltheusXIV Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 1The Misadventures of Razor and Daedalus A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction By RazortheAwesome and DaedaltheusXIV DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release. Chapter 1 It was a perfect day in Equestria, so perfect in fact, that nopony would dispute just how perfect it was. Celestia’s sun shone brightly in the sky, not a spare cloud was to be seen, the birds were chirping where there were birds, and royal business of all kinds was conducted in Canterlot. The Pegasi of Cloudsdale made rainbows and all kinds of weather, the ponies in the great city of Fillydelphia had just finished recovering from a recent fire, and in the quiet little town of Ponyville, a tan Pegasus and a dark grey unicorn could be seen walking through the quiet little town’s busy streets. “Ah do you smell that, Daedalus? Do you feel that?” said Razor after he took in a large breath of fresh air. “It feels like this is sixth town that I’ve had to move to because of you,” replied Daedalus. “Remind me why I still let you live with me?” “That, Daedalus,” said Razor with his head held high, and ignoring Daedalus’ question. “Is the smell and feeling of opportunity. New town, new ponies, it’s not like the city at all. Come on Daedalus, when new opportunities like this come by you gotta take em when you see em.” “All I see are a bunch of fine pieces of architecture that I now feel sorry for because they have to share the space this town occupies with you. And I now feel sorry for the ponies that live in this town as well for the same reason.” Razor just silently laughed to himself a bit upon hearing Daedalus say that. “Oh come on, Daedalus, don’t think like that. I’m sure the ponies in this town are really nice.” No sooner had Razor said those words, a pink earth pony with impossibly curly and impossibly poufy hair bounced towards them in the opposite direction. The smile on her face was one that could fill the void of any emotions that wasn’t overwhelming joy or happiness. She also hummed a light tune to herself as she went. As she approached Razor and Daedalus, she stopped right in front of them. “Hi,” Razor said to her as she stopped in front of them, her eyes wide open as if waiting for something. “I’m Mehrunes Razor and this is my friend Daedalus. We just moved into town.” The second those words left Razor’s mouth, the pink pony suddenly jumped up into the air with a speed that would have rivaled that of the fastest Wonderbolt. While still in mid air, her mouth shot open impossibly wide and her tail almost seemed to straighten itself out as she let out a loud “GASP” and then suddenly took off in the direction she had been previously going. Razor and Daedalus just stared blankly up at where she previously had been less than one second earlier, both equally confused. “Oh good, I see that the local asylum has a rotating door policy,” said Daedalus as he watched what was left of the pink streak the pinky pony left in her wake disappear before his and Razor’s eyes. “Are you still upset because I...” Razor began to ask. “Yes,” Daedalus replied without even giving Razor the chance to say another word. At that, Razor just let out an audible sigh as he regained his cheerful composure. “Okay.... Well... I’m sure there are other ponies around who are nice.” “We can only hope.” “Atta boy, Daedalus,” Razor said as he put his hoof around Daedalus’ neck. Daedalus didn’t even flinch as he did. “Now come on,” Razor said as he got off him and began to move on ahead of him. “We still got a lot more...” Before Razor even took three more steps forward, he was suddenly cut off by the sudden crashing thud of him running into another pony. Daedalus could only roll his eyes and let out a sigh even more audible than Razor’s as he walked over towards his fallen roommate. Razor had just gotten back onto his feet as Daedalus walked up. His eyes were spinning slightly, but after a quick shake of his head, he was all right. “I’m so sorry,” Razor blurted out. “I just wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and I...” Suddenly, Razor stopped dead in his tracks, as he was certain that his heart had stopped beating. His eyes widened to the size of the houses around him and found that he was unable to formulate any coherent phrases to the unicorn standing before him. In front of him, just getting to her hooves stood a lavender unicorn mare. Her eyes were a shade of dark purple that complemented her lavender coat, and her mane and tale were shades of a nightly dark violet and both had one pinkish-magenta stripe of hair running through them as well as a purple one right next to it that matched the color of her eyes. Her cutie mark resembled a magenta colored six-point star that was surrounded by even smaller white colored six point stars. Before Razor, he witnessed the rest of the world fade into a sort of rose tinted fog as the unicorn before him became ever clearer to his eyes. The look of her mane, the sort of twinkle to her eyes, and the way she batted her eyelashes made Razor's heart seem to literally stop and stare lustfully at her. For all he cared the remainder of the world could have just fallen away into obscurity or Tartarus, blown to kingdom come in some abysmal apocalypse for all he saw was her. To Daedalus, who now stood just three feet to the left of the now stunned and silent Razor, all he saw was a lavender unicorn. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” The lavender unicorn said to Razor as she got to her feet. If Razor’s heart hadn’t stopped already, then the sound of her voice had definitely done it for him. To her left was a pair of fallen saddle bags and in front of her on the ground was a simple book “I was so focused on my book that I didn’t pay attention to where I was going and I...” “I... I... I...” was all Razor could say back to her. Confused, the lavender unicorn paused for a moment because before her, the dark unicorn just simply stood there, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. She just looked at him for a moment, studying his expression and his look, pondering over again and again exactly what might be the matter with this unicorn. Paralysis, maybe. Acute Heart Attack, probably not. Frozen in time, well more likely a shot in the dark if you ask her. The list went on and on until finally, she waved a hoof in front of his face, to which the other just simply stared back, the movement of his pupils barely following the movement of the lavender hoof. “Are you okay?” she asked him, now slightly worried. “I... I... I...” Was all Razor continued to say before Daedalus suddenly kicked him in the side with his rear right leg. “Nice weather we’re having today, aren’t we!” Razor suddenly yelled the moment Daedalus’ leg hit him. “Okay...” was all she could say to him, looking all the more confused before Daedalus stepped forward. “You okay Twilight?” said another much younger, male voice. Behind the lavender unicorn, a tiny purple dragon with green scales got to his feet, having evidently been thrown onto his back when Twilight fell as if he was riding her, which wasn’t impossible given his size. Thought Razor didn’t seem to notice him at all, rather, all he did notice of him was what he said. “I’m all right Spike thanks for asking,” Twilight said to him as he walked around to her side. “Twi... light...” was all Razor could say. “Who’re these two weirdoes?” Spike asked as he looked up at Razor and Daedalus. “Spike!” Twilight said to him as she lightly kicked him in the arm with her back hoof. He winced in pain for a moment as she hit him. “I apologize for him, he’s... young,” Twilight said, smiling sheepishly at them. The baby dragon just glared up at her and rubbed his arm where he’d been hit. If her looks, her voice, or her name weren’t able to stop Razor’s heart, then the sheepish looking smile she gave him did just that. "Not to worry,” Daedalus said to her as if to extinguish all hard feelings. That said, Twilight looked over the two of them one more time before her mind came to a sudden conclusion. “You’re not from around here are you?” she asked the two of them. “Nope. We just moved into town,” Daedalus replied. “Oh. Well, it’s nice to meet you,” Twilight said to them, her previous anxiety gone. “I’m Twilight Sparkle,” she said as she extended her right forehoof to them. Suddenly and without warning, Razor suddenly shot both his forehooves forward and grabbed hers. “Mehrunes Dagon Razor at your service,” said Razor to her as he shook her hoof with probably more force than he needed to. He let go of her after about a second, and Twilight just calmly and innocently laughed to herself as she put her hoof back down. It reminded her of when she first met an earth pony friend of hers and she wouldn’t stop shaking her hoof until it was moving on its own. While it wasn’t at all the same, it did remind her of that. “I must apologize for my roommate," Daedalus said, "he's a bit," he looked over Razor, "out of it at the moment.” Razor quickly shot a glare that almost screamed death at Daedalus as he said that before he instantly turned his attention back to Twilight. “It’s all right,” replied Twilight, knowing full well the position Daedalus must have found himself in. If only she knew. “And you are?” she asked him. “I am Daedalus the Thirteenth,” he said to her. “The thirteenth?” “I come from a long line of ponies named Daedalus. My father was named Daedalus, and his father before him, stretching back for twelve generations.” Daedalus replied. “Oh... Of course,” said Twilight in response as she laughed to herself again, slightly embarrassed for missing something so obvious. No sooner had she felt that embarrassment, the sudden feeling of something heavy being thrust onto her back snapped her out of it. She looked over to see that Spike, who had been busy gathering up her saddlebags during that whole conversation, had placed them back on her. “Ahem,” Spike coughed to himself as he looked up at her as if to say, “What about me?” “Oh,” Twilight said as she instantly knew what he was trying to say. “And this is my assistant Spike.” She said as she put her right hoof around him. “Well, I do believe that I have not had the pleasure of introducing myself to a dragon before,” Daedalus said as he turned his attention to the little dragon. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said to him as he bowed his head a little. “Yeah, same here,” said Razor. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a dragon that wasn’t trying to swallow me whole.” The second he said that, Daedalus kicked him in the side again. After a second, he continued. “Actually I don’t think I’ve ever met a dragon... Ever.” The little dragon’s attitude seemed to perk up as he saw Razor get kicked, as he laughed to himself for a moment before extending his right hand. “It’s okay I get that a lot,” said Spike as he rubbed the back of his head with his left claw. “So...” Twilight began to say as she rubbed the back of her head with her hoof as if to copy him. “If it’s not too much trouble...” Razor leaned in closer as she spoke. Daedalus just discreetly rolled his eyes as he did. “Do you need somepony to show you around the town?” Twilight asked, still smiling sheepishly. “Oh no, that’s not...” Daedalus began to say before he was cut off by Razor. “That sounds great thank you very much!” Razor practically shouted as he put on practically the widest possible grin he could on his dumb face. Daedalus just rolled his eyes and sighed yet again, he could swear he would go dizzy if this kept up. “Well, I’m not doing anything else right now,” Daedalus just said, as he could tell exactly what was going on. “Great,” Twilight said as a magenta aura surrounded her horn and saddlebags, which she then lifted off herself and handed to Spike. “Spike...” she said as she handed them to him. “Take these back to the library. I’ll be there after I’m done.” “Uh... Twilight,” Spike said to her, looking somewhat concerned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean we still have to...” “Spike,” she began to speak as if she were about to lecture a child, which he very well was. “They’re new to Ponyville so somepony has to show them around.” “Yeah, but why do you have to...” replied Spike, not entirely convinced. Twilight didn’t say anything to him but instead shot him look of frustration, the way a parent would look at a stubborn child. It was at that point that Spike leaned in close so no one could hear and whispered to her “For all we know these two could be raging psychopaths wondering from town to town doing Celestia knows what to ponies..." He glanced back to see Daedalus wave a hoof as if to say 'hi', Razor didn’t even seem to be looking at him, "Or dragons." “Spike,” Twilight said, trying, like him, to be as discreetly as possible so as not to attract attention from other ponies much less the two of them. “I’m sure they aren’t like that at all, and I’m definitely sure they aren’t dragons,” she said as she quickly looked back at them, Razor’s eyes were still on her and that dumb look was still on his face. “They’re new in town so we have to be chivalrous,” she said as she turned her attention back to the baby dragon. “Yeah, but...” Spike tried to reply before he was cut off by Twilight. “Spike...” Twilight said to him, really stressing the last part of his name as she practically glared at him. It was a look that suggested the phrase “Shut up and do what I say” without actually saying it. “All right fine,” Spike said to her in a manner that suggested sarcasm as he turned 180 degrees and started to head back in the direction from whence the two of them came. As he watched him walk away, Daedalus thought he could see something familiar in the little dragon, though he couldn’t quite place his hoof on it. After he was a few feet away from them, Spike looked back at the two of them, though more specifically, at Razor. He looked back at Razor and saw that his attention wasn’t at all on him, but at Twilight with a look he wasn’t at all unfamiliar with. He didn’t say anything though as he turned back around to pay attention to where he was going, lest he end up like Twilight and Razor did just moments ago. With him gone, Twilight turned her attention back to face them. “So...” she said to Razor and Daedalus as she turned around to face them. “Shall we...” “Lead the way,” Razor replied before she could say anything else. With that, she turned around and headed down the street farther into the town. Daedalus just let out another loud sigh as they left. Twilight took them around most of the town and showed them many of the places of interest in the town, including the town square and part of the Whitetail Woods where they had their annual running of the leaves, which wouldn’t be needed for quite a while. Both Daedalus, and surprisingly Razor, listened to what she had to say and enjoyed her almost encyclopedic knowledge of the town. It was almost too encyclopedic. Somehow, in the midst of it all, the three of them found themselves in the market street. Since it was in fact a market day, ponies and stands of all kinds practically littered the streets. There were so many stands with so many different kinds of food being sold that they couldn’t possibly keep track of all of them. Not only that, but the prices they were selling their products for were mind blowingly cheaper than either Razor or Daedalus were used to in the city. If nothing else, at least Daedalus now knew where to come to buy weekly groceries. “Twilight!” The sound of someone calling out to them caught them off guard for a moment. The three of them looked over to see an orange earth pony with a blonde mane and tail wearing a brown Stetson hat running an apple stand waving at them. Seeming happy to see her, Twilight trotted over towards her, and Razor and Daedalus, not knowing what else to do, followed her. “Why howdy Twi,” the earth pony said to her as she approached. “What brings yah back this way? You forget somethin’?” She spoke with a sort of southern dialect that neither Razor nor Daedalus had heard before. Somehow, Daedalus guessed that Twilight had just come from here. “No, not really,” Twilight said to her. “I’m just showing these two around Ponyville,” she continued as she motioned to the two ponies behind her. The earth pony looked behind Twilight to see Razor and Daedalus standing there. “They just moved to Ponyville so I’m showing them around.” “Why that’s mighty kind of ya Twi,” the earth pony said to her as Twilight turned around and stepped aside so she could step forward to meet them. “Applejack...” said Twilight to her. “Meet Daedalus the thirteenth and...” she paused a moment before she could say anymore. “May... runes... Razor?” “Just call me Razor,” Razor said to her, not at all disturbed by the fact that she had botched his first name. “Everypony else does.” “Oh,” Twilight said, now slightly embarrassed. “Sorry.” “Oh don’t worry about it,” replied Razor keeping his smile on his face. “Well, it’s a mighty fine pleasure to make your acquaintance,” the earth pony said to the two of them. “Mah name’s Applejack, the owner and caretaker of Sweet Apple Acres.” “Hi,” Daedalus said, extending a friendly hoof to shake. The earth pony took a hold of it and prepared to shake it with great ferocity and vigor, but when she tried, it barely moved. Applejack wasn’t entirely sure if she should be shocked by this, but then again, he was only slightly shorter than her brother was. She let go of his hoof after a moment and turned her attention over towards Razor, who just smiled plainly at her. She extended a friendly hoof to him as well, and much to her relief, when she shook his hoof it actually moved. “I like your accent,” Razor said to her as she shook his hoof. “I don’t think I’ve ever met somepony who talked quite like you did. Makes you sound cuter than you already are.” “Why, thank yah kindly,” Applejack said to him as she let go of his hoof, her face lighting up red a little, as she looked away from him and chuckled lightly to herself. “Wait, you’ve never met anypony who talked like Applejack?” Twilight asked, slightly surprised. “Really from where we've lived, we have never had the chance to meet anypony that spoke with a southern or remotely similar accent,” Daedalus replied. “Really, well where have ya’ll lived before?” Applejack asked, now curious. “Well, we've most recently moved from Fillydelphia after an,” he paused for a second before clearing his throat, “accident. Before that, we lived in Baltimare, and before that Seaddle, Coltorado Springs, and the first place in which we lived was Canterlot.” “You used to live in Canterlot!” Twilight said, now suddenly interested. “Yeah,” Razor said to her in response. “Yep, both of us were born and raised there.” “Well, we did years ago before we left for bigger, better and brighter things, but yes, we once lived in Canterlot. So?” “So!” Twilight said, suddenly more invested. “I used to live in Canterlot.” “Really,” replied Razor. “That’s awesome.” “Neat,” was all Daedalus could say. Suddenly, Twilight felt herself more drawn to these two, and she found herself compelled to learn more about them. “Well, if ya’ll ever need some fresh apples come on by. We’re always open,” Applejack said to them. “Thanks, we will,” Razor said to her. Applejack felt herself blush a little again as he spoke to her. “Will do,” Daedalus said. “Well, we better get going. It was good seeing you Applejack,” Twilight said. “You too, Twi. Well, I guess I’ll be seein’ ya’ll around,” replied Applejack as she turned to face Razor and Daedalus. “Yeah I guess we will,” said Razor as he and Daedalus turned to leave. “Bye,” said Daedalus as he, Razor and Twilight trotted off back into town. “Hold on, fellas!” Applejack called out to them forcing them to turn back to face her. From the basket nearest her, she withdrew two apples and tossed them to the three ponies standing at the entrance to her stand. Twilight's horn lit up in a brilliant mauve to catch the first apple while Razor's horn lit up in an emerald green to catch the second. However, before she could react, she found the apple aimed closest to her was caught in an emerald glow as well and floated down towards Razor. He smiled briefly as she looked him over and with a light chuckle, he brought one of the apples towards him and passed the second apple onto Daedalus. “Free samples!” Applejack called out to them as she got back behind her apple stand. “Thank you!” Razor yelled back at her as he held up his apple with his magic. “Thanks, darling,” said Daedalus as he tucked the apple under his wing. Applejack just smiled back at them as they all turned to leave. As they walked away, Razor brought the apple to his mouth and took a bite. His face suddenly lit up as he tasted what he was sure was the sweetest apple he’d ever tasted in his life. “Mmm... Juicy,” was all he could say before he took another bite. Neither Twilight nor Daedalus said anything as they kept going. After about two minutes, the three of them found themselves back in Ponyville proper. Twilight was in front of both of them leading the way and pointing out buildings and spots of interests of all kinds while Razor and Daedalus only slightly behind her with Razor to her right and Daedalus to her left. While this particular fact wasn’t at all important now, it would be, and shockingly soon as well. END PART 1
PrologueThe Misadventures of Razor and Daedalus A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction By RazortheAwesome and DaedaltheusXIV DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release. Prologue Within the wide and vast world of Equestria, there are many different ponies with many different tales to tell. While many of these tales mostly focus on the six wielders of the all-powerful Elements of Harmony, there are many other ponies out there, each with their own tale to tell. The musicians Vinyl Scratch and Octavia have their music, Lyra and Bon-Bon have their antics, the ever-elusive Doctor continues to have many adventures that go unnoticed by the general population of Equestria, and of course let us not forget about the kind and lovable Derpy Hooves. This tale, however, is not about any of them, for their tales have already been told. This tale is about two others. The two others who would end up in Ponyville not by coincidence, not by chance, but because within less than two hours, everything would be on fucking fire. It was a perfect day in Equestria, so perfect in fact, that nopony would dispute just how perfect it was. Celestia’s sun shone brightly in the sky, not a spare cloud was to be seen, the birds were chirping where there were birds, royal business of all kinds was conducted in Canterlot, and the Pegasi of Cloudsdale made rainbows and all kinds of weather. The ponies of the ever-popular Ponyville went about their daily business, and in the far off city of Fillydelphia, a lone Pegasus sat in his apartment working on a strange mechanical device. The device itself was massive, about the size of a refrigerator or a large closet. Its appearance resembled a large, vertical, steel colored cylindrical tube. At the center of the cylinder was a spherical portion that had what appeared to be tinted glass all around it as opposed to the metal that made up the cylinder. Inside the spherical portion lay all kinds of mechanical parts and devices that did Celestia knows what. The Pegasus himself looked much better off than the device as he sat on down on the floor of his living room and focused intently on the task at hoof. He was larger than average for a Pegasus, hell he was larger than the average pony by most standards. While not as big as a certain red stallion resident of Ponyville, he still stood taller than most ponies. His wings were larger as well to accommodate his size, though they remained firmly at his sides. The color of his coat was that of a very light, almost tan, chocolate brown, and his eyes were a much darker shade of brown. Although depending upon the light, they would often appear to be more of an amber or dark reddish color. The mane that rested on his neck and head was a dark, charcoal black in color, and didn’t extend past his neck. While his mane was far from unkempt, it had a look that could best be described as “scruffy” as if this particular Pegasus only ran a comb through it once in the morning and left it alone for the rest of the day. His tail had very much the same appearance, and like most stallions, it was short. His cutie mark resembled a pen crossed with a T-square in the shape of an X. While most ponies were not fond of clothes, this particular Pegasus wore around his neck a simple white collar, and along with it, a simple blue tie. On his snout rested a simple pair of round, black rimmed glasses that kept his eyes focused on his work. With the access-panel to the device open and his eyes practically glued through his glasses to the task at hoof, the Pegasus continued his work as he put on the finishing touches on the device. With a screwdriver in only his right hoof, he tightened one last screw on one of the many components of the device, a difficult task for most ponies that weren’t unicorns, but he made it look easy. Once that was done, he let his hoof fall flat and let the screwdriver fall into it. That done, he took the screwdriver out and placed it in his mouth before shutting the panel and spitting out the screwdriver. With his trusty screwdriver out of his way, he looked back up at the device. Finally, after only Celestia knows how long the device stood completed in front of him. The device towered over him as he sat there on his living room floor, and yet despite its enormity, it only had one button. It had one, large, unmarked red button about the size of his hoof that was positioned just above the spherical portion of the device on the cylindrical body of the rest of it. While any normal pony would have hesitated or taken a moment to admire the fruits of their labor, such things were not to be in the mind of the young Pegasus. Without even wasting even a fraction of a second or a second thought on it, he moved his hoof up and pressed the big candy-like red button on the device. The literal instant he pushed the button his entire apartment suddenly began to violently shake as a large humming noise echoed from the machine. Everything in the Pegasus’s apartment shook as the device rocked it into oblivion. What little things that were on the shelves fell off, the furniture moved about the living room, and even the Pegasus himself struggled to keep his plot on the floor. Dust even began to fall from the ceiling and the walls as the apartment continued to shake. After about two minutes, the apartment stopped shaking and everything sat perfectly still as a nice, soft, quiet hum came from the machine. The Pegasus just remained quietly seated on the floor as he stared at his device. After staring for a few moments, he saw that not only had the device actually calmed down, but that many of the lights on the other side of the spherical portion of the device were on and blinking exactly as he expected them to. Upon seeing this, a wide smile grew on his face, and then it grew even wider the longer he stared at it. “Yes!” The Pegasus shouted as he suddenly stood up on both his hind legs and thrust both his forelegs up into the air. “I AM INVINCIBLE!!!” At almost the exact instant the word ‘invincible’ left his mouth, his moment of epicness was broken by the front door unlocking itself. “Yo Daedalus, what the fuck was that!?” said a black unicorn as he entered the apartment, his left foreleg wrapped around a paper grocery bag. “I thought it was an earthquake at first, but then my magic stopped working the second I got here.” The unicorn at the door appeared to be rather young, though he couldn’t have been much older than the Pegasus that already occupied the shared apartment. His coat appeared to be almost pure black in color. However, in reality it was really more of an incredibly dark grey. If nopony knew any better, they would never even guess that his coat was a shade of grey. His mane was a shade of light brown and unlike his Pegasus friend, ran all the way down his neck. One even dare call it a mare’s mane if they were so bold, though the rare few that did find a boldness to call him one would find themselves waking up in Fillydelphia General Hospital in due time. Mostly, it ran straight but some parts of it were obviously a bit scruffier than others. His tail was essentially the same, and like his mane was longer than the average tail length for a stallion. His eyes were the color of emerald green and were truly something to look at for the mares. His cutie mark though, was a completely different story. His cutie mark resembled the letter ‘A’ enclosed within an open circle. Neither the letter nor the circle were very thick, the circle itself was only about an inch and a half thick and the lines that made up the letter ‘A’ were not much thicker, in fact they were thinner, but just by a hair. The entire thing resembled what would commonly be described as an anarchy symbol. What made his cutie mark unusual, however, was the fact that the entire thing was on fire. The ‘A’, the circle, every part of it was made of fire and bits of the flames seemed to rise up from it towards the tops of his flanks. “Ah but you see, Razor,” The Pegasus, evidently named Daedalus said as he turned his attention to face the unicorn. The expression on his face resembled that of a maniacal grin “I have completed it.” He spoke in a very soft, yet deep voice that only those with authority would possess. “Eh?” replied the unicorn, evidently named Razor, in confusion. “My Mark 4 Anti-Magic Field Generator is complete. And yes, it fucking works.” Daedalus continued as he walked around and placed his right hoof on the device, the maniacal smile on his face still ever present. Razor just kept staring at it for a few moments before he let out an audible sigh. “Agh... This again,” said Razor as he grabbed the handles of the paper grocery back with his teeth and kicked the door shut with his back hoof. He then walked over and placed the bag down on the coffee table, which had moved slightly to the left when the building shook. “Seriously, you’re never gonna let me live this down are you. Just because I accidently set one little fire.” “It wasn’t one little fire!” Daedalus shouted at the top of his lungs the second those words left Razor’s mouth. Razor just stared back at him with his eyes slightly wide while the look Daedalus gave him was a look that he would give an insane pony who just told him that the sky was red. After a long moment of silence between them, Razor sighed loudly again. “All right it wasn’t just one fire,” said Razor as he rolled his eyes. “But seriously. Do you seriously need this thing? I mean it’s not like you can actually...” “Shut up!” Daedalus yelled as he stepped away from the device. “Of course I need this device. After what happened last time do you really think I wouldn’t need it?” He asked sarcastically. Razor opened his mouth to speak but Daedalus cut him off before he could say another word. “What excuse do you honestly think you could possibly make Razor? Really, tell me. I want to know.” “The last one didn’t even work. I mean it’s not like you...” “Shut up,” Daedalus said to him again. “They all said the same thing. They all said it was daft to even attempt to build a device that could impede unicorn magic. However, I built one and magic proofed a house all the same. Just to show em I could.” Daedalus said as he began to pace around the room. “You burned that house to the ground. SO... I built a second one... That you burned to the ground. So, I built a third one... That one got caught in a hurricane, then a landslide, fell over, got buried under mountains of rubble and then you burned it to the ground! But this fourth one...” He said as he walked back over to his device. “Is staying up and you are not going to burn this place to the ground. Not while I’m here.” Daedalus said to Razor and he turned around and pointed right hoof accusingly at him. “And most certainly not while this,” he slapped the device, “is here either.” Razor just stood there for a moment with the same blank expression on his face as he took in all of Daedalus’ words. After a moment though, the expression on his face changed from that blank look to a devilish grin. A smile appeared on his face that started out small and innocent, but then quickly grew from ear to ear. It was the look of someone who had just been issued a challenge. “Razor, what are you…” Daedalus said to him, not liking the look on his face. “YOU SET ALL OF FILLYDELPHIA ON FIRE JUST TO PROVE A FUCKING POINT!!!” Daedalus yelled at his friend and roommate as the two of them stood on a mountainside cliff overlooking the city. “At least our apartment building is still standing.” As if on cue, the moment those words left Razor’s mouth the very last standing building in the city, their the building that was their apartment building shook. As if in shocked awe, Daedalus watched as the concrete base of the apartment building buckled under its own weight, the fine fractures deepening with each passing second. Then, in a secondary burst of dust, the entire left side of the building collapsed, the blocks falling freely until finally, the two watched the structure twist. In a moment best suited for the waltz of some blue Danube to play, the apartment building shook twice in the air, twisted 30 degrees and finally, came to rest on the ground amongst the smoldering ash and embers of what one could have once called Fillydelphia. “I’m going to start hitting you now,” Daedalus said to Razor. “I don’t know when I’ll stop.” The Misadventures of Razor and Daedalus
Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 2 Twilight was in the middle of explaining something to the two of them about one of the many other buildings in Ponyville with her encyclopedic knowledge when Razor’s pony ears suddenly caught something. “Oh shit!” he suddenly shouted, much to the surprise of Twilight and Daedalus. The second those words left his mouth, he immediately jumped up into the air off all four of his hooves and flipped over towards his right. The instant he was in the air, a rainbow blur that came from his right suddenly shot right where he stood, went past him, and hit Daedalus. The source of the rainbow blur knocked Daedalus to the ground and caused the two of them to roll several feet down another street while Razor simply landed back onto his hooves with the grace of a pony gymnast while a concerned Twilight turned around to see what in the name of Celestia happened. Eventually, Daedalus and the source of the rainbow blur stopped rolling about three yards away from where Razor and Twilight now stood. Daedalus lay flat on his back with the same deadpan look he always wore on his face while the source of the rainbow blur lay on its stomach just a foot or so away from him. After a few seconds, the source of the blur revealed itself as a cyan colored Pegasus mare with a rainbow mane and tail. The rainbow mare was the first to get to her feet, and as she did looked back to see Daedalus still lying on his back. The moment she saw him, she put on an on so innocent look on her face and giggled a bit before she said anything. “Uh... Excuse me,” she said to him in an almost humorously innocent tone, however Daedalus did not look amused. “Here let me help you up,” she said as she flew back up into the air and over to Daedalus. Once she was above him, she extended her right hoof to him. Daedalus, seeing this gesture, just sighed loudly to himself and took it. Once she had his hoof, the rainbow Pegasus grabbed it with both hooves and then flew backwards a bit with her wings to pull him up off the ground and onto his hind legs again. She let go of him and Daedalus just fell back onto his four hooves. The whole time Daedalus never took his serious, deadpan gaze off her. With him back on his feet, the rainbow Pegasus giggled to herself again as she rubbed the back of her head again with her left hoof. “Eh he he... Sorry,” she said to him. “Oh it’s quite all right,” Daedalus said to her as he brushed off his black tie, “this sort shit happens to me all the time.” “Yo, Daedalus!” The two of them looked over to see Razor and Twilight running towards him. “You okay?” Razor asked Daedalus upon reaching. “Fine, just fine,” Daedalus said before looking back at the rainbow colored Pegasus. “Miss, if you would be so kind as to at least pay some manner of attention to your flying, I'm sure more than just I would be most grateful.” “Hey, I said I was sorry okay,” the rainbow Pegasus said back to him, her previously innocent demeanor gone. “Sorry, but you’ll have to excuse my friend,” Razor said to her. “He can be like that sometimes.” Daedalus just shot him a look that was on the verge of a death glare to Razor as he said that. “Rainbow!” Twilight yelled out as she walked up to the rainbow maned Pegasus. The look on her face was no longer one of concern but rather one of frustration. “What in the name of Celestia were you doing?” "Well," the rainbow Pegasus huffed, "I was in the middle of performing some trick I read about the Wonderbolts Magazine, you know Fly with Us, and it looked so cool I just had to try it." "What kind of trick?" Twilight asked. “It's called the Double Back Looped Free Fall Dare Dive,” she excitedly shouted to her friend and the two stallions. “Or the DBLFFDD for short.” “You practice your tricks, especially an untested trick designed by Soarin of all flyers and decide to test it out. In town...” Daedalus yelled, drawing the attention back to him as a puzzled look erupted on his face. “The FUCK?!” “Well, excuse me...” the rainbow Pegasus started to say before she fully considered what the other Pegasus had to say. “Wait, how'd you know it was Soarin?” “I read.” “Wait, who in the hay are you two anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around,” The rainbow Pegasus asked them. “I am Daedalus the Thirteenth and this unicorn standing here is my...” he paused for a moment, “to use a more appropriate and less painful word to think of and say, roommate, Razor.” With those words out of his mouth, Razor stepped forward and extended his right hoof to the rainbow Pegasus. “Nice, to meet you,” Razor said to her as he shook her hoof. “And you two are...?” the rainbow Pegasus asked. “Oh, they just moved in to town,” Twilight suddenly said as she stepped forward. “They only just arrived today so I’m showing them around.” “Oh, that’s cool,” the rainbow Pegasus said, her eyes now more on Razor than Daedalus. “Name’s Rainbow Dash,” she added, fluffing out her wings and holding her head up high, swishing her mane a few times. “Fastest flyer in all of Equestria. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?” “No,” Razor stated rather bluntly, though curious for more. “Can’t say that I...” He paused for a moment after he said that last bit. “Wait... You said your name was...” “Yes,” Daedalus said flatly. At that, both Razor and Rainbow Dash’s attention turned back to him. “Really, you have?” Rainbow asked Daedalus, eyes suddenly full of pride. “Yes, I have.” Daedalus replied. “I don’t think there isn’t a pony in all Equestria that doesn’t know the name of the only pony ever to do a sonic rainboom. Twice.” At that, Razor suddenly snapped back to attention. “That’s it!” he exclaimed. “I knew that name sounded familiar. You’re Rainbow Dash! Gah, the mane and tail should’ve given it away.” Suddenly, and without warning or any kind of sign, the rainbow colored Pegasus let out a squee. Both Razor and Daedalus could only stare as the strange rainbow colored Pegasus let out her obvious moment of fangirlism before she quickly returned to her previously calm and “cool” demeanor. “Well, it’s always cool to meet a fan,” Rainbow Dash said as she extended a hoof back to Razor. Daedalus just kept his mouth shut as Razor shook her hoof again. “So, you’re Twilight’s friend?” Razor asked her. “Yeah,” she said throwing a foreleg around the unicorn and using the other to rough up her mane, “we're pretty much the best of buds, aren't we?” Twilight just sheepishly laughed at that before she could respond. “Yeah, yeah we are,” she said as she pushed Rainbow’s hoof off her. “We’ve been friends ever since I moved to Ponyville.” “Nice,” Razor responded. “Did you have the same first meeting experience as I did?” Daedalus snarkily replied. Twilight, the instant those words left Daedalus’ mouth, let slip a nervous laugh. “Well, it was nice meeting you,” Rainbow Dash said as she turned around and spread her wings. “I’m gonna get back to practicing. I’ll see you later, Twilight.” With that, as instantly as she appeared, she flew back up into the sky, leaving only a rainbow blur in her wake. “Well, she was cool,” Razor said to nopony in particular. “By the way,” Daedalus began to say as he turned to face Razor. "The next time I see an object traveling in our direction at top speeds, I'll just step out of the way and let YOU meet it.” “That reminds me,” Twilight suddenly said as she directed her gaze directly at Razor. “How did you do that anyway? I mean I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody avoid Rainbow like that before.” At that, Razor just began to laugh nervously to himself as a certain red hue crept back onto his face. “Umm... Quick reflexes,” was all he could say as he put on a wide smile that was to all but him, the fakest possible smile he could have achieved. Neither Twilight nor Daedalus said anything as Razor just stood there looking like an idiot. “Right...” was all Twilight could say. “Shall we continue?” Daedalus asked to get away from that awkward moment. “All right,” replied Twilight, not entirely convinced. In either case though, the three of them turned around and headed back the way they were going. They still had more of Ponyville to see. Eventually, the three of them found themselves in front of a building that for all intents and purposes resembled a gingerbread house. “And this is Sugarcube Corner,” Twilight said to them as she held up a hoof towards the gingerbread house, “The best bakery in all of Ponyville.” “Hmm, interesting style albeit a bit forward and less than creative to advertise that they sell confections and cakes. Admittedly, this building was most likely built thirty, no wait, forty years ago back when they originally went for the idea of,” Daedalus paused for a second and began tapping his hoof against his forward in thought. “The decorated shed and the duck, well this is clearly a duck since it is meant to resemble what is being sold.” “What?” Twilight asked as she turned her attention back to Daedalus, now slightly confused. “It’s nothing,” Razor said. “Nothing, but he just...” Twilight began to say before she was cut off by Razor. “Say, anyone else hungry,” Razor said. “Actually, I don’t think either of us have had lunch yet, right Daedalus,” he said looking over at the Pegasus who simply shrugged to his roommate. “What about those free apples Applejack gave you?” Twilight asked. “That was a while ago,” Razor responded. “Besides, it was just one apple. An incredibly tasty and juicy apple, but still just one apple,” he said as he trotted up towards the gingerbread house. “Coming Daedalus?” he called back as he walked up to the doors. “Sure, why not,” Daedalus said as he followed his friend and roommate towards the gingerbread house. Twilight followed just behind him. Once they were inside, they looked around to see that hardly any ponies in the bakery. In truth, it was far past lunchtime and Razor was right, aside from the free apples, they hadn’t eaten anything else since they got here. "Ah, yes," Daedalus continued, "the wide open restaurant interior with a few tables and side booths set up for dining in and the glass counter." He looked to his companions as though expecting something from them but when they ultimately said nothing, he continued alone. "Clear indicators of a restaurant that also offers take-away and, ah exposed timber beams. It’s kind of rustic in a charming sort of way and a simple truss frame for support, typical of this style of architecture. And a set of stairs, which indicates to myself that the owners and or staff of this establishment live above the premises in another part of the building, which means that the..." he got into the line with the more confused Twilight and shrugging in response Razor. "Kitchen's in the rear, though based on size they must do a Tartarus lot more than just simple confections and treats." Twilight just stared at him in confusion, she was about to open her mouth to say something when Razor, unknowingly this time, cut her off again. “Well, I don’t know about you but I’m gonna see what they got,” he said as he made his way up to the counter. Twilight followed close behind him, as did Daedalus. At the front counter, the three of them met a blue earth pony mare who seemed, in a good way, a bit chubbier than most ponies. “Ah, Twilight, it’s good to see you,” said the chubby earth pony to the lavender unicorn. “Good to see you too, Mrs. Cake,” Twilight said to the chubby pony. “Is Pinkie Pie around?” “Unfortunately no,” Mrs. Cake replied. “She was here earlier but then she ran off saying something about a party.” “Figures,” Twilight said as she took a loud sigh. It was then that Mrs. Cake noticed the two stallions with her. “Twilight,” she said to her “Who are these two with you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen them in town before.” “Oh,” Twilight said as he attention was turned back to them. “They just moved in to Ponyville, so I’m showing them around.” “Oh how lovely,” she said in a rather excited tone. “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner. I’m Mrs. Cake.” “Nice to meet you,” Razor replied. “Likewise,” said Daedalus. “So, can I get you anything for the two of you or are you just...” “Do you have any sweet rolls?” Razor asked out of nowhere. “Of course,” Mrs. Cake replied with as much enthusiasm as she had before. “Sweet!” Razor suddenly exclaimed in a way that almost sounded like the “squee” like sound that Rainbow Dash made earlier. As he did his he also thrust his right hoof up into the air, much to the annoyance of Daedalus. “And for you, dear?” Mrs. Cake asked as she turned her attention over to Daedalus. “A blueberry-muffin, my dear,” Daedalus stated softly. “Of course,” Mrs. Cake said as she wrote all their orders down on a small sheet of paper “and for you Twilight?” “Oh, nothing for me, thanks,” Twilight responded. “All righty then,” Mrs. Cake said with a smile before she walked off to get their orders. Within a few moments, the three of them were at one of the many tables in the bakery enjoying some of the most delicious baked goods they had ever had in a while. “By Celestia, that was the best damned sweet roll that I’ve ever had!” Razor exclaimed as the three of them exited the bakery. “And I’ve had a few.” “I must concur, that blueberry muffin was exceptional,” Daedalus stated as the trio walked the streets of Ponyville. As the trio continued down the main street of Ponyville, they passed several shops, each one with a rather decorative sign displaying a distinctly colored image of the goods sold within the shop. After about ten minutes of walking and listening to Twilight list off the various shops about them, they paused as they got to the fabric store. No sooner did they reach it when Twilight stopped for some reason unknown to both Razor and Daedalus. Stepping out from the shop's double doors, a white unicorn levitating several large bags stuffed to the brim with an impressive number of fabrics greeted the happy Twilight with a large smile. As the lavender unicorn approached, the white unicorn whipped her rather styled purple mane to the side and walked up to her with a large smile and a sort of twinkle to her eye. "Twilight, darling, whatever brings you down to the garment district?" she asked Twilight, looking her over with a happy look. She spoke with what was obviously meant to be a Prench like accent of sorts. "You aren't considering making your own dress again, you know how well that turned out last time." Twilight gave an uneasy laugh and then proceeded to talk to who was clearly her friend, and a close one at that. "No, nothing like that," Twilight began, "I'm just showing these two around Ponyville. They just moved in to town," she finished before motioning a hoof at Daedalus and Razor. Daedalus dipped his head a bit as she pointed and Razor's mouth merely hung slack jawed, more than likely overwhelmed by the beauty of the pony before him. At least, he was for about a second before he shook his head to clear and thoughts he may have had before he regained his former composure. Daedalus didn’t even bother to say anything about that. It was at that moment that the white unicorn noticed the two stallions behind her friend. She glanced over at the two new stallions for a second and took them in with the careful precision and eye that a dressmaker would examine most works of clothing. The unicorn, while a bit thin, was clearly somepony that came from an athletic background and perhaps did some work in a physically demanding field. More importantly, based upon the way he kept himself, he carried little care for what others thought of his appearance, and of course, that mane of his. In her words, it was a travesty and was in desperate need of a thorough scrubbing and shampooing immediately, and perhaps a bit of styling, as it was much too long for a stallion. At first, she thought he might have been a mare, but then quickly noticed otherwise. Other than that, she found his appearance pleasing, and he had a certain gleam to his eye that drew her in. None of this was bad in any conceivable way, but at the same time, she got a hint that perhaps she should watch herself when dealing with him, at least until she got to know him better. The Pegasus on the other hoof, she looked at him and felt that he was more or less average until the unicorn stepped close. He was easily a whole six, perhaps even eight inches taller in comparison. His mane appeared a bit more up kept than the unicorn's but still possessed that quality of carelessness that the unicorn’s did. His overall quiet and steady demeanor gave her the opinion of a business stallion, but the glasses gave a hint of an artisan or more appropriately, a researcher. However, once he fluffed his wings a bit, she felt a blush appear on her cheeks that she immediately made attempts to suppress, given that her friend was near. "Really... Well, it’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, darlings, my name is," she whipped her mane and blinked heavily with her long eyelashes extenuated, "Rarity," she stated with an almost seductive whimper to her voice and a bright smile on her face. “Mehrunes Dagon Razor,” Razor said to her as he extended a friendly hoof. “Nice to meet you.” “May runes...?” Rarity said as she shook his hoof, a hint of wonder in her voice. “What an interesting name.” “Just call me Razor,” Razor said as the two let go. “Everypony else does.” "My name is," Daedalus stepped forward and gently took her hoof in his, "Daedalus the Thirteenth, darling," said, giving the hoof a small peck. “Oh my,” Rarity said as she let a light blush cover her cheeks. “Aren't we the charmer?” She found his voice a little bit more soothing than Razor’s for whatever reason. “Some would say that, others might not,” Daedalus chuckled. Rarity couldn’t help but chuckle as well at that. “So you two are new to Ponyville,” she began to say to the two of them. “Where are you from?” she asked. “Fillydelphia, though originally we’re both from Canterlot,” Razor replied rather bluntly. "Canterlot, only by birth, mostly," Daedalus added. “Canterlot... Fillydelphia... My whatever made the two of you decide to move to Ponyville?” Rarity suddenly asked them, a hint of heavy curiosity in her voice. “Canterlot did not taste well and Fillydelphia was more or less the result of needing to change scenery... Immediately,” Daedalus replied. “Really,” Rarity said to him, now even more interested in them for whatever reason. “Well, to each his ow... Waahahaaa!!!” It was then that she noticed the black tie Daedalus wore around his neck. “Darling, what is that... thing... around your neck?” She asked in a manner that suggested she might have been horrified by what she saw. “This is my tie,” Daedalus asked slightly confused as he pointed to it with his left hoof. “I always wear my tie,” he paused for a moment to look back up at her. “What’s wrong with my tie?” “Wha wha wha... It’s just... so...” Rarity began to say before Daedalus cut her off. “Do you think there is something wrong with it because I don’t see what’s wrong with it.” “Boring!” Rarity finally said. "Come again?" Daedalus asked, annoyed. "It's such a boring and flat color, and well, that collar doesn't help your case either," Rarity added to which Daedalus merely looked down at both and looked back at her. "Really, because last time I checked, this was the optimal business wear for stallions that don't do coats. I don't do coats." “Oh, I can give you a nice new tie with several colors and a rather interesting pattern that will surely garner the attention of both your business partners,” she said before getting right up next to him and rubbed her cheek against his. "And the mares,” she cooed, raising a blush in Twilight and Razor. Daedalus turned to her, his face remaining the same as he looked her straight in the eye. “I like this one.” “Twilight, darling,” Rarity said as she turned to face the lavender unicorn. “What do you think of his tie?” “Oh um...” Twilight said, suddenly caught off guard. “It’s okay. I guess.... I like it.” “Of course you would,” Rarity said as she let out a loud sigh as she turned back to Daedalus. "It's no problem at all darling, really, I insist. You can keep that one if you want, just let me make you a nice, dashing, new...” “I have dozens,” Daedalus suddenly said. “What?” Rarity gasped, suddenly shocked. "I don't need a new one to add to the menagerie," Daedalus bluntly uttered. “Wha... No, no, no...” Rarity replied as she shook her head. “I insist on making you a new tie. Perhaps something with cyan, maybe a nice mauve,” She said as she began to slowly walk away from the three of them. “Oh! I know a burgundy tie with a black collar that would make him quite the dashing stallion, now!” She continued on for long until she was out of their hearing range, leaving a very confused Razor and Daedalus in her wake. "She's going to make me a tie, whether I like it or not Miss Sparkle?" Daedalus asked, staring off at the mare as she left for what he presumed was her home. "Yes," Twilight responded. "Well, fuck me Nay Bradbury." Daedalus said. There was a long moment of silence between the three of them after that. “You know she’s faking that accent right?” Razor suddenly, yet discreetly asked Daedalus out of nowhere. "Well, of course. She's clearly from the Midwest and is just using it to try and separate herself from a middle class upbringing to appear like she's from high society." Twilight didn’t say anything to either of them either because she didn’t hear what they said or didn’t want to. Either way, she kept her mouth shut. “Well, shall we get going?” Twilight asked as she turned to face them. “Yes, lets,” Daedalus replied. Razor just nodded his head in agreement without saying anything. With that, the three of them headed on. However, they had barely gotten two blocks down one of the many other streets when suddenly, what looked like a grey Pegasus with a blonde mane and tail suddenly came crashing from the sky and somehow became lodged inside of the nearest mailbox. Strangely enough though, nopony around seemed to pay this incident any mind. “What the fuck?” Razor exclaimed, concerned as he sprinted over to the distraught Pegasus. "Well, I can see why Dash is the best,” Daedalus said as he ran after him. Twilight didn’t say anything as she went after them. The grey Pegasus, unfortunately for her, had her head lodged within a mailbox in front of one of the many identical buildings of Ponyville. With both her hooves on the mailbox she tried with what might she could she could muster to pull herself out, but to no avail. “You okay?” Razor asked her as he reached her. “Yeah,” the Pegasus said to him, her voice a little distilled by the mailbox. “I’m fine, but I’m just stuck.” "Here, let us help you," Daedalus said as both he and Razor both approached the mailbox and took a hold of the Pegasus. Both of them grabbed around her waist and pulled back as hard as they could. At first, her head refused to budge, and the mailbox seemed to be slipping from the ground as they pulled. Razor however, saw this and with his magic, held the mailbox in place as they pulled, a green aura surrounding the mailbox. Less than a moment later, the sound of rather loud ‘POP’ signaled that they had gotten her head free. Both Razor and Daedalus immediately fell backwards onto their heads with a rather loud thud as the newly freed Pegasus landed on top of them. The grey Pegasus was the first to get back up onto her feet, her fall having been broken by both Razor and Daedalus. Once she was up, she extended a hoof to help up Daedalus while Razor got up on his own. “Sorry,” she innocently said to the two of them as she put on an adorable smile. The Pegasus mare before them looked to both of her saviors, her blonde mane a bit un-kept and not too unlike that of Rainbow Dash's. She smiled so brightly that it seemed nearly impossible for either Razor or Daedalus to not smile, in fact both found themselves with a sort of joyful grin upon their faces. She floated in the air a bit and from where she was, the two could tell that her cutie mark appeared to be a collection of bubbles. She wore a mailbag at her side and atop her head was a mail carrier's cap complete with the official postal service shield in brass. But, by the far the one feature that the two could not draw themselves away from was her eyes, for one of them looked straight on at them, well more or less to their hooves. The other looked upwards and to the side a bit, both a rich caramel color with a brightness that seemed to radiate with a happy innocence that neither Razor nor Daedalus could properly identify. In brief, she looked abso-fucking-lutely adorable. “Thank you both for helping me,” the grey Pegasus said to them in a voice that sounded just as adorable as she looked. “Oh, it’s no problem,” Razor said to her as he lightly laughed to himself. “Are you all right Ms...” Daedalus asked. After he said that he tried to bring himself to speak more, about why in Equestria she flew into the mailbox, but all his mind could rationalize was: “SHE’S SO CELESTIA-DAMNED ADORABLE!” “Derpy,” She said to them. “Derpy Hooves.” “Derpy... Hooves?” Razor said, slightly confused. “Yep,” Derpy said as she let out another innocent giggle. “That’s my name.” It was at that point that she, or at least her right eye, noticed just who the two stallions in front of he were. “Say I’ve never seen either of you around town before,” she said to them with all the enthusiasm of an eager child. "We just moved here, Miss Hooves," Daedalus said with a light chuckle to his voice. “Really!” Derpy suddenly said in the most enthusiastic manner possible. “Welcome to Ponyville!” she suddenly exclaimed as she grabbed Daedalus’ hoof and started shaking it rapidly, and much to even his own surprise, Daedalus’ hoof actually moved. When she was done with him, she moved on to Razor. “Well, I have to get back to work,” she said as she finished shaking Razor’s hoof. “Maybe we’ll see each other again soon. Hey, maybe I’ll deliver a letter to your house!” She exclaimed with as much enthusiasm as before. “Yeah, I’m sure we will,” Razor said with a light chuckle. “And I’m sure you will too.” “Well, I better get going. It was nice meeting you. Bye!” she said to them with as much enthusiasm as before, and as quickly as she had appeared, she had flown off into parts of Ponyville unknown. "Razor," Daedalus said, his gaze not once looking away from the mare. "Yes?" Razor replied, his gaze never once leaving her either. "I don't know why but I have the urge to hug that pony." “All I wanna know is what in the name of Celestia is up with her eyes?” "Clearly she was born that way and I don't fucking care." Daedalus said as he turned his attention back to Razor, and then to Twilight who had just caught up with them. Razor decided not to say anything, for he knew that the results of doing so could only be disastrous in this case. “Well,” Twilight said to break the ice. “Shall we...” “Yes, let’s get going,” Razor said before he and Twilight continued down the street. Daedalus followed close behind. The three resumed walking down the street and left the garment district. Eventually, the three of them found themselves in an entirely different part of the town when suddenly a white rabbit ran out from the bushes carrying a pocket watch in his paws. Razor looked down at the creature with some puzzlement while Daedalus found himself wondering if he hit his head too hard while helping Derpy. Twilight just sighed to herself as the two could have sworn she said, 'Not this again'. All at once, a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane jumped out from bushes nearest them and grabbed the rabbit in her hooves. "Angel Bunny!" she scolded the rabbit who looked at her with a look that could be best summed up as 'Do I look like I give a shit.' "How many times do I have to tell you that is not your watch so stop taking it." “Hi, Fluttershy," Twilight said to her, prompting the Pegasus to turn to her friend. "Oh, hello, Twi - EEP!" she suddenly screamed, well, at least the three of them assumed it was meant to be a scream, upon facing her friend. “Um... Twilight,” The yellow Pegasus said to her as she pointed her right hoof in the general direction of Razor and Daedalus. “Who are they?” she asked. “Oh, they just moved to Ponyville. So I’m showing them around,” Twilight said to her. After that was over, she extended her hoof in the general direction of Fluttershy and said to the two of them. “Razor, Daedalus, meet Fluttershy.” After she said that turned back to face Fluttershy, who still held the appearance of a timid rabbit. An apt comparison as a not at all timid rabbit stood right on her tail. “Fluttershy, meet Razor and Daedalus.” “Nice, to meet you,” Razor said as he extended a friendly hoof towards her. As he did, the yellow Pegasus backed away a little bit. Her cheeks internally seemed to catch fire as she turned a shade of red. "Hello, Miss Fluttershy," Daedalus said extending a hoof to her as well, to which she continued to back away. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Again, she backed away from him as he extended his hoof, her blush only intensifying as she did. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two stallions as quick as her rabbit friend would have moved. All the while, she remained glued to the spot as she stood on visibly shaking. “Um... Nice to meet you...” she said to them, though her voice barely rose above a whimper. It was so quiet in fact, that none of them, not even Twilight, could possibly understand what she said. “Sorry, didn’t quite catch that,” Razor said to her, trying to sound as polite as he could. “Umm umm umm umm....” was all they could hear her say again. Again, her eyes darted quickly between the two of them, then to Twilight, and then to the two of them again, then back to Twilight. “I’m sorry...” she said to her friend in a voice that was not any louder than she had previously been. Then, in a motion to quick for any of them to see, at a speed that would put Rainbow Dash to shame, she quickly turned 180 degrees and bolted down the street away from them. All the saw was a pink colored blur in her wake that disappeared down the road as quickly as she did. "Well, that was... bizarre." Daedalus said as he watched the pink trail disappear in front of him. “I apologize for my friend,” Twilight said to them, her own face blushing nervously somewhat. “She’s just like that.” “It’s okay,” Razor said to her. “Not the first time I’ve met a mare like that.” "Yes, but she seemed a bit... well shocked by our presence." Daedalus added. “She’s just shy around everypony, especially ponies she doesn’t know,” Twilight replied. "Hence her name, I suppose,” he replied. “Yeah, I suppose,” Twilight said. Razor didn’t say anything, since he honestly couldn’t think of anything that Daedalus hadn’t already said. From there the three of them continued on their tour through town. Deep down though, Daedalus could understand where Twilight was coming from on this one. He knew what it was like to have to explain for a friend, or more specifically in his case, his roommate. About thirty minutes later, the three of them found themselves back towards the center of town where Twilight drew their attention to a giant tree just down the road from where they stood. “And that’s the library where I live and work,” she said to them as she pointed it out to them. “You live in a library?” Razor asked, suddenly curious. “Yes,” Twilight responded. “Is that a problem?” “No,” Razor said as he shook his head. The second he was done, Daedalus leaned in close and whispered to him. “I swear to Celestia if you even think about...” he began to say before Razor cut him off. “Oh I wouldn’t dream of it,” Razor whispered back as he put a grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear before he looked back over to Twilight. Twilight just smiled to herself as she looked back at the two of them. “You know, you aren’t so bad,” she said to them. The instant those words left her mouth though, Razor suddenly felt himself straighten up. His limbs locked up and his neck locked in place as he stood up straight and tall and his eyes locked back on Twilight. As he stood there, he could feel his face turning a few shades redder than it was before. “Umm... come again...” was all he could say, and he stuttered a bit while saying it. Twilight could only giggle to herself as she saw that. Daedalus, on the other hoof, didn’t say anything or look any different than he had looked before. “Well, I should probably get back. Spike’s probably wondering what’s taking me so long,” she said as she turned and began to trot towards the tree library. “Maybe I’ll see you two around some time,” she said as she turned back to look at them before she went any further than three steps. “Wha... Oh, yeah,” Razor said as his eyes seemed to drift to any location but her, though the red on his face remained. “Thanks for showing us around.” “Oh, it was no problem,” she said to them. Razor could almost swear he saw her bat her eyelashes at him. “Well, I should go,” she said as she trotted off. “Bye, and welcome to Ponyville!” she yelled out at them as she walked back towards the library. “Bye,” Daedalus said as he waved a hoof. “And thank you.” “Bye... Twi... light...” was all Razor could say as he tried to wave a hoof, but found himself unable to as he shut his mouth. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she walked away from him. Her lavender coat, her purple mane, the way she moved her flank when she walked away from him. Everything about her practically screamed 'YES' to him. He was so focused on her that he didn’t even notice that he had been standing there, unmoving and unblinking, for several minutes. “Razor?” Daedalus said to him as he noticed this. Razor didn’t respond, he just kept his eyes on Twilight. “Razor...” Daedalus tried again, but again to no avail. “Razor...” he tried again while waving his hoof in front of his roommate’s face. Still, he got no reaction out of him. Razor still kept his gaze forward. In front of him at the tree library, Twilight had already opened the front door and walked on through it. She was no longer in his sight, but still he felt the urge to look. Inside Razor’s head, the metaphorical hamster wheel that kept his brain going suddenly began to spin ever faster as the hamster sped up as a picture of the lavender mare was dangled in front of him. He sped up faster and faster to try to reach her. Faster, and faster, and faster, and faster he went until the hamster wheel suddenly caught fire and set the whole inner workings of Razor’s mind ablaze. “Razor...” Daedalus said to his friend again as he snapped his hoof in front of Razor’s face for several moments to try and get his attention. Exactly how he was snapping his hoof was a mystery that neither he nor Razor cared about right now though, as there were other things on their minds. Suddenly, Razor’s right eye began to twitch. It was small at first, but then it started to get more frequent and out of control. Then the right corner of his mouth started to twitch as well. It was at this point when Daedalus saw the obvious early signs of a seizure that he kicked Razor with his back right leg. “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!” was the sound that came out of Razor’s mouth as he shot up into the air the moment Daedalus' leg touched him. It wasn’t unlike their encounter with the strange pink earth pony earlier in the day. When Razor came back down, he landed on his two rear hooves and threw both his forehooves up into the air. “SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!” were the only words to come out of his mouth as he landed. He practically screamed them. His sudden outburst drew the attention of practically every pony in the town that happened to be within earshot. However, he didn’t notice nor even care that he became the spectacle of the entire town in that moment. “And with that, you’ve lost me,” Daedalus said with a hint of confusion as Razor finished shouting. However, Razor just ignored him in favor of more shouting. “SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!” Razor shouted again while still standing on his back hooves, completely oblivious to who or what might have been watching him. Daedalus just rolled his eyes and sighed again as Razor finished shouting again. “Come on, we have shit to set up,” he said as he began to walk away. Razor, surprisingly enough, fell back down onto four hooves and followed him. END PART 2 Author's Note Character Profiles: Razor Full Name: Mehrunes Dagon Razor Race: Unicorn Region of Origin: Canterlot Occupation: Pyrotechnician (former: royal guard) Voice: Kyle Herbert as Kamina from Gurren Lagann Coat Color: Really Dark Grey Mane Color: Light Brown Eye Color: Green Special Talent: Setting and controlling fire/Causing anarchy Theme Song: You’re Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring Drawn by DaedaltheusXIV
Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 3 Twenty minutes later, both Razor and Daedalus had made their way over towards their new house, which lay at the edge of town. It wasn’t as far away from the town as Fluttershy’s house, but it was still for the most part, out of the way. From the outside, the house appeared to be rather simple, nothing out of the ordinary, though it did have a balcony. The house appeared to be, for the most part, a simple three level building with a grey and beige hardboard siding exterior that set it apart from several other buildings that stood at best 50 ft from theirs. The entrance was set back inside of a small portico with the house number in black above the door. A grey mailbox on a single wooden post was next to it, the names of the two occupants written on the sides of it. Each level of the home possessed at least four windows, and at the second level was a balcony that hung off to the side by about ten feet of the portico and had a set of double doors leading to the interior study that belonged to Daedalus. The roof slanted off to the right side of the house into a small garden with a large tree growing out of it. Daedalus explained it as such, ‘that the tree and garden would receive supplemental water during the rainy seasons from the roof runoff.’ The design of the house hardly mattered at all though as the two of them made their way towards it, Razor with a bit more of a, actually with a lot more of a spring in his step since they left Twilight. In fact, he hadn’t stopped singing since they saw her. “I ain’t got anything to lose - nothing to lose,” he sang out, “And I’ll never forget when I saw you, she looks good…” “Razor...” Daedalus groaned. “Please for the love of Celestia, Luna, Tartarus, and all else that exists PLEASE STOP SINGING!” “She looks good,” Razor continued as he ignored his Pegasus friend. “And it’s true, the mare is beautiful, SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!” All Daedalus could do was groan again loudly as Razor kept singing. The moment they got in front of their house though, Daedalus stopped. Razor, since he was just following him, stopped moving and instead skipped in place as he kept singing. “Razor,” Daedalus said to him, but again he got the same results as before. “SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!” Razor kept singing, completely ignoring his friend. “She’s a lesbian,” Daedalus suddenly said, and with that, Razor shut up. “WHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!” he suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs. “Good, now that I have your attention. Where’s the cart?” Daedalus said, not at all worried about what he had just said. “BUT TWILI-” “I lied, she’s not a lesbian, but where is the cart?” Daedalus replied. Razor just let out a sigh of relief, and then he suddenly inhaled again to take another breath and being to sing again. Before he could do anything more though, Daedalus punched him in the chest and very nearly screamed “RAZOR WHERE IS THE CART!” “What cart?” was all Razor could ask as he rubbed a hoof on his chest where Daedalus hit him. “The cart with all our stuff in it. It was supposed to be right here. Where is it?” He asked again as he shot Razor a glare that was embodied the full fury of all the foulest monstrosities kept within the deepest darkest of the Tartarusian abyss in a single look. “How should I know, I was with you all day?” Razor replied, to which Daedalus could only let out another groan of frustration. With no better idea of where it could be, Daedalus stomped on over to the front door. He was about to take out his key when he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. “Razor?” “Yes?” “Why is the front door unlocked?” “The fuck you asking me for?” “Razor...” Daedalus began to say as he shot an even darker version of that dark Tartarusian stare back at Razor. “I swear to Celestia that if anything is missing there isn’t going to be a single corner, on this Celestia forsaken earth, THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HIDE IN...” “SURPRISE!” shouted what must have been thirty ponies, all of which were in their house as Daedalus opened the door. “Well, shit,” was all Daedalus could say. Inside of the house on the first level, Daedalus and Razor saw that each square foot was filled with ponies, all of which they had never seen before, well with the exception of Dash hanging from the ceiling lamp, Rarity talking with several stallions and Fluttershy just standing off in the corner of the room. “How in Tartarus did you all get into my house!?” Daedalus yelled at all of them. It was at that moment that a beige earth pony with a red mane and a rose for a cutie mark stepped forward. “The door was open,” she politely responded in a very feminine voice. A yellow Pegasus with teal hair and some raindrops for a cutie mark stood next to her. "And you all decided to just walk on in?" Daedalus replied. “Of course,” the beige mare replied as she giggled a little bit. “After all it is a party.” “And...” Daedalus began to say before Razor put his hoof out in front of him and stepped forward. “Pardon my friend, ladies,” he said in a polite tone that made the two of them giggle just a little bit. “But there was a cart parked outside with all of our things in it. Do you by any chance know what happened to it?” “Oh, that,” the Pegasus said. “We took all those out and put them in the room at the back and sent the cart driver home.” Minutes later, both Razor and Daedalus stood in the doorway to the room that would be their walk-in pantry to see that all the boxes of all their things there. Unopened and undisturbed. “Well, fuck me Nay Bradbury,” Daedalus stated to nopony in particular. “We didn’t touch anything or open any of the boxes,” the beige mare said to them. “Thank you ladies,” Razor politely said to the two of them as he gave them a friendly wink. “We just wanted to know where they were.” At that, he turned his attention back to Daedalus, who again let out a loud sigh of frustration. That done, both he and Razor closed the walk in pantry doors and stepped away from it back in to the party. "It's not that I don't mind all of this,” Daedalus said as he and Razor walked back into their living room. “It's just that I was hoping to do some unpacking tonight.” Razor could only laugh aloud at that. “Come on Daedalus, relax,” he said as he placed a friendly hoof around Daedalus’ neck. “They went to all this trouble to throw a welcome party for us. We might as well enjoy it,” he added with a devious grin. Daedalus rolled his eyes before he and Razor walked briskly into the sea of ponies that was in their house when a familiar orange earth pony wearing a Stetson hat showed up with two mugs of cider on her back. "Why howdy Daedalus, howdy Razor" She said over the increasingly loud music and the sound of several dozen ponies having a good time. It didn’t take long at all for either of them to remember who she was. “Oh hey, Applejack,” Razor replied. “It’s nice to see you again.” “Likewise,” Daedalus added. Applejack just laughed to herself at that before she turned to her side and presented the two mugs of cider to Razor and Daedalus. Without questioning it, or her, at all, the two of them each took one of mugs from her. Daedalus, as soon as the mug reached his hoof, chugged the entire mug of cider, not once letting the cup fall away from his mouth. Razor wasn’t at all far behind either. “Ya'll like it?” Applejack politely asked them in that southern accent of hers. “It's the Apple Family spec...” SLAM! "Another!" Daedalus shouted as he slammed his mug onto the counter. The moment he did, everypony suddenly cheered with excitement. With that, the party was in full swing, and it didn’t take long at all for Razor and Daedalus to get their second helpings of cider either. The music blasted louder as the ponies danced round the room with wild exhilaration. Dancing was done, drinks were had, and everypony for the most part seemed to enjoy Razor and Daedalus’ company. Well, they enjoyed Razor’s company. Daedalus was more or less just tolerable. Overall, fun was had, and neither of them would say that they weren’t enjoying themselves. About half way through the night though, things took a more or less, wild turn. “Daedalus, Daedalus, Daedalus,” Razor kept repeating to his friend as he repeatedly poked him in his side. “What the fuck do you want!?” Daedalus responded in a manner that said out loud 'stop poking me before I end you'. “She’s right there,” Razor said as he pointed a hoof across the room, all the while not even looking at Daedalus. He did stop poking him though. “Who?” Daedalus asked before he looked in the direction Razor was pointing. It was at a point in the house across the room. There, ponies of all kinds talked with each other. He saw Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and a few others, but more specifically, he saw Twilight, and all at once, he knew what Razor was getting at. As he saw her, all he could do was roll his eyes, a gesture which Razor did not see as he had already left his side and started walking towards her. “And there he goes,” was all Daedalus could say before he turns his attention back to the ponies in front of him and the fresh mug of cider in his hoof. With both his eyes and his mind dead set and locked on to his target, Razor walked forward through the crowd of ponies towards Twilight. The sea of ponies all around him weren’t there to him. The music wasn’t playing, there wasn’t any other noise, and there wasn’t even any extra cider... okay there might have been some of that, but otherwise, there was nothing else. There were only two things in the room, him, and the lavender unicorn on the far side of the room. It was all that needed to be there, at least for him. Right as he passed the half way mark between him and Twilight however, he was suddenly interrupted. All at once, there appeared a pink blur that floated gracefully above the crowd of party ponies and seemed to remain there for several seconds. Then, the grace turned to assault as it suddenly descended from the air and collided with the unicorn that was making his way over to Twilight. Within moments, the pink blur was revealed to be in fact, a pink pony, more specifically a pink earth pony mare. She stood there on top of Razor, her bright blue eyes darting up and down his body before she let out a loud giggling sound before what many assumed to be confetti shot out from her frizzy pink mane. “SURPRISE!” she practically yelled out at him in a very high pitch, singsong type of voice. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” was the only thing that could escape Razor’s mouth as the pink pony that was on top of him started talking. All Daedalus did when Razor’s scream hit his ears was turn to look, and what he saw damn near made his eyes get so wide they threatened to burst right out of his skull. “Hi! You must be Razor!” the pink pony said to him in what must have been the most bubble gummy voice Razor had ever heard in his life. It was at that moment that Razor recognized the pony as the pink earth pony that he met earlier in the day, the one who out of nowhere jumped into the air and gasped upon seeing him. Still, he didn’t say anything, as he found himself unable to utter any coherent words, and not in the same way he found himself unable to speak when Twilight was around. The pink pony who sat on top of him in a position that was kind of compromising however, took his inability to speak as an invitation to continue talking in her very bubble gummy voice. “I’m Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you and your friend Daedalus. Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Were you!” Every time she said the words 'were you’, she moved her face increasingly closer to Razor’s until he was all but certain that the space between their faces was actually negative. She pressed her eyes up against his and he watched her blink almost in point-of-view. After she said it that third time though, she pulled her head back as quickly as she pushed it closer to him and kept talking. “I saw you walking through town and you were like ‘hello’ and I was like GASP, don’t you remember, huh, huh,” she didn’t even give Razor a chance to remember as she kept going like she was on a permanent sugar rush, which may have been the case. “You see I’ve never seen you before and if I’ve never seen you before that means that you’re new, cause I know everypony and I mean EVERYPONY in Ponyville, and then you told me that you were new and then I went 'GASP' because if you’re new that means you haven’t met anyone yet and if you haven’t met anyone yet then you must not have any friends and if you don’t have any friends you must be lonely, and that’s why I went 'GASP' cause I got an idea. I should throw great big ginormous super duper, duper, super duper, duper, super amazingly wonderful spectacular welcome party...” as she said that bit to him her body refused to stop shaking and by extension since she sat on him, so did Razor’s “and invite EVERYPONY in Ponyville! See!” It was at that point that she closed the distance between their faces again into the negative space again as she continued, “And now you have lots of...” “GET OFF OF ME!” Razor shouted as he finally found the will to speak. Elsewhere in the party, not more than what could have been a few drinking ponies and one red faced Berry Punch away, there came the sound of laughter. It was the sound of deep, suffocating chortles that almost immediately devolved into loud cackling at the sight of Razor on the floor squealing in agonized terror of having Pinkie Pie on top of him. Some of the guests turned to see Daedalus, deep within a fit of cackling laughter, as it seemed like he could collapse onto the floor at any given moment. Amazingly enough though, despite him laughing the whole time, his mug of cider never spilled. He continued laughing even as he raised himself and just stood there laughing between sips of cider as his friend continued to scream in terror. “Ah...” Pinkie Pie said as she pulled her face back away from Razor. “Looks like somepony needs a hug!” She said as she suddenly threw her hooves out. “NO WAI...!” Razor tried to shout, but to no avail. Within an instant, he suddenly felt himself unable to speak again as the pink party pony fell on top of him and wrapped her hooves around his neck so tightly that he could swear she was crushing his windpipe. She also buried her face and hair in his neck as she did in a way that would suggest cuddling, at least it would suggest cuddling if she wasn’t squeezing his neck so hard it could snap off. As Razor lay there suffocating on the floor, his ears and eventually eyes caught the attention of the still laughing Daedalus, whose legs had finally given out as he finally collapsed onto the floor. Daedalus writhed on the floor in a fit of laughter, each laughing cackle taking at least one deep breath to make the sound. He laughed there as several ponies just looked down at the Pegasus, not sure of what to make of the scene. Some thought he might have gone mad, others thought that he was overacting, and some thought that he was simply drunk off his ass. He kicked his legs with each cackling laugh and made at least one attempt to stand, just the one. As he stood, he looked over to see Razor still pinned under the eagerly happy and overly zealous Pinkie Pie before letting out a loud, throaty snort. All at once, he collapsed again with a loud thud, cackling in such gleeful delight that most ponies could never imagine seeing in their lives. "Is he... all right?" Rarity asked, pointing a hoof at Daedalus, the other holding with delicate precision a martini glass with olive and lemon slice. "Ah think so," Applejack replied, handing off another mug of cider before staring off at the almost suffocating Daedalus. “Daedalus...” Razor barely managed to say with his chocked out voice. “Get her off of me!” “Can't... breathe... so... funny!” was all Daedalus could say as he continued laughing. “Pinkie Pie!” said a lavender unicorn like voice as Twilight walked over and with a strength that almost seemed to defy her, pulled the pink party pony off of Razor. The second her hooves were clear of his neck Razor immediately gasped for air as he took in a rather large breath or air, and then another one just in case the first one wasn’t enough. With Pinkie Pie clear of Razor by at least a few feet, Twilight set her friend down back onto her four hooves. The look she gave the pink pony was one similar to the one she gave to Spike earlier in the day. “Pinkie, I don’t think he does hugs,” she said to her pink friend. “What, he doesn’t do hugs, but that’s silly everypony does hugs,” Pinkie Pie replied, almost as if she were completely oblivious to the fact that she had nearly suffocated Razor. “Pinkie...” Twilight said to her as she really stressed the last part of her name as she just stared at her. Razor just stayed where he was on the ground, afraid that if he got up he would only be taken down to the ground again. Daedalus for the most part, had appeared to stop laughing as he just lay on the floor where he was attempting to catch his breath. "Everypony does hugs, even stone faced laughy pants Daedalus over there must do hugs.” “Pinkie...” Twilight said again, in a manner that said, 'I won’t say your name a third time'. “Fine, be like that Ms. No Huggy pants,” she said to Twilight as she turned and bounced away, not walked, bounced. With her gone, Twilight let out a sigh and turned over to Razor, a smile adorned her face as she looked at him. All Razor could do was stare back up at her, as he still wasn’t able to formulate any words. “I’m sorry Razor,” Twilight said as he extended a hoof, which Razor gladly took as she helped him back onto his hooves. “She’s just like that sometimes.” “What...” Razor tried to say to her, though his voice barely rose above a whimper. “What is she?” “Oh, that’s just my friend Pinkie Pie. She can be a little overenthusiastic sometimes,” Twilight replied. The instant the last words left her mouth however, Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared behind Razor again, jumped on him and tacked him to the ground again as she threw her hooves around his neck, thus making everything Twilight said to her, entirely pointless. “I forgot to ask!” Pinkie Pie said to Razor, as she didn’t choke him out this time. “Are you having fun? Are you, are you, are you, are you?” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” was the only sound that could come out of Razor’s mouth as Pinkie held him to the floor. “YES!” was the sound that came from Daedalus’ mouth as he collapsed back onto the floor and started laughing himself into suffocation again. After a few more hours, several more attempts to get Pinkie Pie off or Razor, and one to get her off Daedalus, the party began to die down a little, as it was well past one in the morning and time for everypony to go home. Razor and Daedalus stood by the door to see everyone out as they left. Overall, they enjoyed the company of the residents of Ponyville. They were a nice and jubilant bunch, so it was only right to see them out. Well, Daedalus saw them out, Razor was off to the side talking to Twilight one more time. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” Twilight said to him as he walked her out. “Yeah,” Razor replied. “I’ll see you around.” Razor replied to her, any and all moments, or lack thereof, he had going had been broken by the 'unfortunate' arrival of a certain pink pony. With all that said, Twilight trotted out the door. Razor just stood where he was and watched her go, a familiar blush returned to his face as he did. With her gone, Razor and Daedalus’ house was as empty as it had so far never been. “Razor, if I may ask,” Daedalus said as he walked up next to his friend. “What in the name of Celestia has gotten into you?” Razor didn’t even look away from the door as he responded to him. “She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine,” was all he said. “So say you Razor,” Daedalus said as he took one last drink from his last mug of cider. “So say you.” “Who’ll be yours?” asked Pinkie Pie, who had suddenly appeared out from behind the two of them. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Razor screamed as he almost fell back into Daedalus as the pink party pony circled around the two of them and got in front of them. However, Daedalus was not about to have any of that bullshit and held him up so that he didn’t fall. “YOU'RE STILL HERE!?” Razor screamed at her as soon as he was back on his four hooves. “Why of course silly,” was her only response as she let out her characteristic giggle that they had by this point heard many times that night. “Now who did you say will be yours?” she asked curiously. “Well, you see Miss Pie,” Daedalus began to speak. “My roommate here has developed feelings for a certain mare in this town.” “OOH OOOHH REALLY, REALLY!” Pinkie Pie responded, now suddenly interested. “WHO WHO!?” Out of nowhere, Razor jumped up, wrapped his right forehoof around Daedalus’ neck and covered his mouth. “UHH, NO ONE, NO ONE!” Razor responded nervously. “It’s nothing. Forget what he said.” “Really...” Pinkie responded as if she wasn’t buying it. “Yes,” Razor responded back. “Really...” She said again. Almost as soon as she did, Daedalus mumbled something under Razor’s hoof. “What did you say?” she asked him. “NOTHING ITS NOTHING!” Razor frantically said as he held his hoof in place. He almost appeared to start sweating a bit. A bit “So why don’t you go home?” “Remove your hoof from my mouth or I will architect a world of pain all over your candy-ass!” Daedalus mumbled at Razor from under his hoof. “Military training my feathered friend,” Razor whispered to Daedalus in response. Fortunately, Pinkie Pie didn’t seem to hear him. “Anti-magic field generator and access to things that not even Celestia wants to know exists,” Daedalus responded from under Razor’s hoof again, though Razor’s hoof on his mouth made most of his words a little difficult to understand. “Oh, okay then,” Pinkie Pie said to the two of them as she seemed to completely forget about what Daedalus tried to tell her a second ago. “Bye Razor. Bye Daedalus,” she said as she turned around and hopped towards the door. Right before she passed through it though, she turned back around to face them and said, “Maybe I’ll invite you two to another party sometime.” “LEAVE!” Razor screamed at her without even bothering to hold it back or make it sound like a request. That attempt though, appeared to be successful as she bounced right on through the door and in a gesture of politeness, closed it behind her. “Whew,” Razor let out a sigh of relief as Pinkie left and let his hoof fall from Daedalus’ mouth back onto the floor. He let his eyes glaze over for a moment as it seemed that all of his problems... CRACK! “OW!” was the only sound that came from Razor as Daedalus punched him square in the right side of his face. “What in Tartarus?” Razor asked as he rubbed the side of his face that Daedalus hit with his right hoof. “What was that for?” “What’s the big deal about letting somepony know that you have feelings for somepony else, eh?” Daedalus asked him, a hint of frustration in his voice. “Nothing's wrong with that it’s just...” Razor began to say, but then cut himself off. “It’s just...” “It’s just what?” At that, Razor just let out a loud sigh and let his hoof drop from his face. “Look, Daedalus,” Razor began to say as he turned his head away from Daedalus. The look on his face was no longer what it had previously been throughout the night. If anything, he looked sad, almost depressed or to be more accurate, like he was really worried about something but afraid to say what it really was. Even Daedalus was somewhat surprised to see that reaction. “She’s not like any other mare I’ve known and,” Razor paused, and Daedalus listened with some interested. “I REALLY want this one to work out. So please,” he said as he turned back to face his friend. “Just for now can you please keep it on the down low?” “Whatever,” Daedalus replied as he let out a sigh. He would have said more, but with Razor like that, he knew it would get him nowhere. “And please for the love of Celestia don’t tell the pink one?” Razor asked as if doing so would bring about the apocalypse. “Fine,” Daedalus replied, to which Razor could only let out another sigh of relief as he let his head sink towards the floor. “Thanks,” Razor said as he picked his head back up. “I knew I could count on you.” “Uh huh,” was all Daedalus could say in response. At that, Razor was about to say something when he let out a yawn instead. “Well, I am absolutely bushwhacked,” he said as he made his way towards the stairs. “We should probably get some sleep. We still gotta finish moving in tomorrow, and I gotta get my business set up here.” Before he reached the stairs he turned back to face Daedalus. “I imagine you’ll need to do something like that as well.” “I have some affairs to attend to,” Daedalus said as he walked over to the kitchen “Some letters to send, some ponies to ask about supply stores, and the like.” “So yeah,” Razor said as he let out another yawn. “I’m gonna hit the hay. Do whatever you want.” “Haven’t I always?” Daedalus replied with a hint of sarcasm as Razor walked up the stairs and up to his room where he could get some sleep. Overall, it was a good first day in Ponyville. End of Chapter 1 Author's Note Character Profiles: Daedalus Full Name: Daedalus Olympus the XIIIth Race: Pegasus Region of Origin: Canterlot Occupation: Architect Voice: Crispin Freeman as Alucard from Hellsing Coat Color: Light brown/Tan Mane Color: Black Eye Color: Reddish brown Special Talent: Architecture Theme Song: Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz Drawn by DaedaltheusXIV
Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville - Part 1The Misadventures of Razor and Daedalus A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction By RazortheAwesome and DaedaltheusXIV DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release. Chapter 1 It was a perfect day in Equestria, so perfect in fact, that nopony would dispute just how perfect it was. Celestia’s sun shone brightly in the sky, not a spare cloud was to be seen, the birds were chirping where there were birds, and royal business of all kinds was conducted in Canterlot. The Pegasi of Cloudsdale made rainbows and all kinds of weather, the ponies in the great city of Fillydelphia had just finished recovering from a recent fire, and in the quiet little town of Ponyville, a tan Pegasus and a dark grey unicorn could be seen walking through the quiet little town’s busy streets. “Ah do you smell that, Daedalus? Do you feel that?” said Razor after he took in a large breath of fresh air. “It feels like this is sixth town that I’ve had to move to because of you,” replied Daedalus. “Remind me why I still let you live with me?” “That, Daedalus,” said Razor with his head held high, and ignoring Daedalus’ question. “Is the smell and feeling of opportunity. New town, new ponies, it’s not like the city at all. Come on Daedalus, when new opportunities like this come by you gotta take em when you see em.” “All I see are a bunch of fine pieces of architecture that I now feel sorry for because they have to share the space this town occupies with you. And I now feel sorry for the ponies that live in this town as well for the same reason.” Razor just silently laughed to himself a bit upon hearing Daedalus say that. “Oh come on, Daedalus, don’t think like that. I’m sure the ponies in this town are really nice.” No sooner had Razor said those words, a pink earth pony with impossibly curly and impossibly poufy hair bounced towards them in the opposite direction. The smile on her face was one that could fill the void of any emotions that wasn’t overwhelming joy or happiness. She also hummed a light tune to herself as she went. As she approached Razor and Daedalus, she stopped right in front of them. “Hi,” Razor said to her as she stopped in front of them, her eyes wide open as if waiting for something. “I’m Mehrunes Razor and this is my friend Daedalus. We just moved into town.” The second those words left Razor’s mouth, the pink pony suddenly jumped up into the air with a speed that would have rivaled that of the fastest Wonderbolt. While still in mid air, her mouth shot open impossibly wide and her tail almost seemed to straighten itself out as she let out a loud “GASP” and then suddenly took off in the direction she had been previously going. Razor and Daedalus just stared blankly up at where she previously had been less than one second earlier, both equally confused. “Oh good, I see that the local asylum has a rotating door policy,” said Daedalus as he watched what was left of the pink streak the pinky pony left in her wake disappear before his and Razor’s eyes. “Are you still upset because I...” Razor began to ask. “Yes,” Daedalus replied without even giving Razor the chance to say another word. At that, Razor just let out an audible sigh as he regained his cheerful composure. “Okay.... Well... I’m sure there are other ponies around who are nice.” “We can only hope.” “Atta boy, Daedalus,” Razor said as he put his hoof around Daedalus’ neck. Daedalus didn’t even flinch as he did. “Now come on,” Razor said as he got off him and began to move on ahead of him. “We still got a lot more...” Before Razor even took three more steps forward, he was suddenly cut off by the sudden crashing thud of him running into another pony. Daedalus could only roll his eyes and let out a sigh even more audible than Razor’s as he walked over towards his fallen roommate. Razor had just gotten back onto his feet as Daedalus walked up. His eyes were spinning slightly, but after a quick shake of his head, he was all right. “I’m so sorry,” Razor blurted out. “I just wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and I...” Suddenly, Razor stopped dead in his tracks, as he was certain that his heart had stopped beating. His eyes widened to the size of the houses around him and found that he was unable to formulate any coherent phrases to the unicorn standing before him. In front of him, just getting to her hooves stood a lavender unicorn mare. Her eyes were a shade of dark purple that complemented her lavender coat, and her mane and tale were shades of a nightly dark violet and both had one pinkish-magenta stripe of hair running through them as well as a purple one right next to it that matched the color of her eyes. Her cutie mark resembled a magenta colored six-point star that was surrounded by even smaller white colored six point stars. Before Razor, he witnessed the rest of the world fade into a sort of rose tinted fog as the unicorn before him became ever clearer to his eyes. The look of her mane, the sort of twinkle to her eyes, and the way she batted her eyelashes made Razor's heart seem to literally stop and stare lustfully at her. For all he cared the remainder of the world could have just fallen away into obscurity or Tartarus, blown to kingdom come in some abysmal apocalypse for all he saw was her. To Daedalus, who now stood just three feet to the left of the now stunned and silent Razor, all he saw was a lavender unicorn. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” The lavender unicorn said to Razor as she got to her feet. If Razor’s heart hadn’t stopped already, then the sound of her voice had definitely done it for him. To her left was a pair of fallen saddle bags and in front of her on the ground was a simple book “I was so focused on my book that I didn’t pay attention to where I was going and I...” “I... I... I...” was all Razor could say back to her. Confused, the lavender unicorn paused for a moment because before her, the dark unicorn just simply stood there, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. She just looked at him for a moment, studying his expression and his look, pondering over again and again exactly what might be the matter with this unicorn. Paralysis, maybe. Acute Heart Attack, probably not. Frozen in time, well more likely a shot in the dark if you ask her. The list went on and on until finally, she waved a hoof in front of his face, to which the other just simply stared back, the movement of his pupils barely following the movement of the lavender hoof. “Are you okay?” she asked him, now slightly worried. “I... I... I...” Was all Razor continued to say before Daedalus suddenly kicked him in the side with his rear right leg. “Nice weather we’re having today, aren’t we!” Razor suddenly yelled the moment Daedalus’ leg hit him. “Okay...” was all she could say to him, looking all the more confused before Daedalus stepped forward. “You okay Twilight?” said another much younger, male voice. Behind the lavender unicorn, a tiny purple dragon with green scales got to his feet, having evidently been thrown onto his back when Twilight fell as if he was riding her, which wasn’t impossible given his size. Thought Razor didn’t seem to notice him at all, rather, all he did notice of him was what he said. “I’m all right Spike thanks for asking,” Twilight said to him as he walked around to her side. “Twi... light...” was all Razor could say. “Who’re these two weirdoes?” Spike asked as he looked up at Razor and Daedalus. “Spike!” Twilight said to him as she lightly kicked him in the arm with her back hoof. He winced in pain for a moment as she hit him. “I apologize for him, he’s... young,” Twilight said, smiling sheepishly at them. The baby dragon just glared up at her and rubbed his arm where he’d been hit. If her looks, her voice, or her name weren’t able to stop Razor’s heart, then the sheepish looking smile she gave him did just that. "Not to worry,” Daedalus said to her as if to extinguish all hard feelings. That said, Twilight looked over the two of them one more time before her mind came to a sudden conclusion. “You’re not from around here are you?” she asked the two of them. “Nope. We just moved into town,” Daedalus replied. “Oh. Well, it’s nice to meet you,” Twilight said to them, her previous anxiety gone. “I’m Twilight Sparkle,” she said as she extended her right forehoof to them. Suddenly and without warning, Razor suddenly shot both his forehooves forward and grabbed hers. “Mehrunes Dagon Razor at your service,” said Razor to her as he shook her hoof with probably more force than he needed to. He let go of her after about a second, and Twilight just calmly and innocently laughed to herself as she put her hoof back down. It reminded her of when she first met an earth pony friend of hers and she wouldn’t stop shaking her hoof until it was moving on its own. While it wasn’t at all the same, it did remind her of that. “I must apologize for my roommate," Daedalus said, "he's a bit," he looked over Razor, "out of it at the moment.” Razor quickly shot a glare that almost screamed death at Daedalus as he said that before he instantly turned his attention back to Twilight. “It’s all right,” replied Twilight, knowing full well the position Daedalus must have found himself in. If only she knew. “And you are?” she asked him. “I am Daedalus the Thirteenth,” he said to her. “The thirteenth?” “I come from a long line of ponies named Daedalus. My father was named Daedalus, and his father before him, stretching back for twelve generations.” Daedalus replied. “Oh... Of course,” said Twilight in response as she laughed to herself again, slightly embarrassed for missing something so obvious. No sooner had she felt that embarrassment, the sudden feeling of something heavy being thrust onto her back snapped her out of it. She looked over to see that Spike, who had been busy gathering up her saddlebags during that whole conversation, had placed them back on her. “Ahem,” Spike coughed to himself as he looked up at her as if to say, “What about me?” “Oh,” Twilight said as she instantly knew what he was trying to say. “And this is my assistant Spike.” She said as she put her right hoof around him. “Well, I do believe that I have not had the pleasure of introducing myself to a dragon before,” Daedalus said as he turned his attention to the little dragon. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said to him as he bowed his head a little. “Yeah, same here,” said Razor. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a dragon that wasn’t trying to swallow me whole.” The second he said that, Daedalus kicked him in the side again. After a second, he continued. “Actually I don’t think I’ve ever met a dragon... Ever.” The little dragon’s attitude seemed to perk up as he saw Razor get kicked, as he laughed to himself for a moment before extending his right hand. “It’s okay I get that a lot,” said Spike as he rubbed the back of his head with his left claw. “So...” Twilight began to say as she rubbed the back of her head with her hoof as if to copy him. “If it’s not too much trouble...” Razor leaned in closer as she spoke. Daedalus just discreetly rolled his eyes as he did. “Do you need somepony to show you around the town?” Twilight asked, still smiling sheepishly. “Oh no, that’s not...” Daedalus began to say before he was cut off by Razor. “That sounds great thank you very much!” Razor practically shouted as he put on practically the widest possible grin he could on his dumb face. Daedalus just rolled his eyes and sighed yet again, he could swear he would go dizzy if this kept up. “Well, I’m not doing anything else right now,” Daedalus just said, as he could tell exactly what was going on. “Great,” Twilight said as a magenta aura surrounded her horn and saddlebags, which she then lifted off herself and handed to Spike. “Spike...” she said as she handed them to him. “Take these back to the library. I’ll be there after I’m done.” “Uh... Twilight,” Spike said to her, looking somewhat concerned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean we still have to...” “Spike,” she began to speak as if she were about to lecture a child, which he very well was. “They’re new to Ponyville so somepony has to show them around.” “Yeah, but why do you have to...” replied Spike, not entirely convinced. Twilight didn’t say anything to him but instead shot him look of frustration, the way a parent would look at a stubborn child. It was at that point that Spike leaned in close so no one could hear and whispered to her “For all we know these two could be raging psychopaths wondering from town to town doing Celestia knows what to ponies..." He glanced back to see Daedalus wave a hoof as if to say 'hi', Razor didn’t even seem to be looking at him, "Or dragons." “Spike,” Twilight said, trying, like him, to be as discreetly as possible so as not to attract attention from other ponies much less the two of them. “I’m sure they aren’t like that at all, and I’m definitely sure they aren’t dragons,” she said as she quickly looked back at them, Razor’s eyes were still on her and that dumb look was still on his face. “They’re new in town so we have to be chivalrous,” she said as she turned her attention back to the baby dragon. “Yeah, but...” Spike tried to reply before he was cut off by Twilight. “Spike...” Twilight said to him, really stressing the last part of his name as she practically glared at him. It was a look that suggested the phrase “Shut up and do what I say” without actually saying it. “All right fine,” Spike said to her in a manner that suggested sarcasm as he turned 180 degrees and started to head back in the direction from whence the two of them came. As he watched him walk away, Daedalus thought he could see something familiar in the little dragon, though he couldn’t quite place his hoof on it. After he was a few feet away from them, Spike looked back at the two of them, though more specifically, at Razor. He looked back at Razor and saw that his attention wasn’t at all on him, but at Twilight with a look he wasn’t at all unfamiliar with. He didn’t say anything though as he turned back around to pay attention to where he was going, lest he end up like Twilight and Razor did just moments ago. With him gone, Twilight turned her attention back to face them. “So...” she said to Razor and Daedalus as she turned around to face them. “Shall we...” “Lead the way,” Razor replied before she could say anything else. With that, she turned around and headed down the street farther into the town. Daedalus just let out another loud sigh as they left. Twilight took them around most of the town and showed them many of the places of interest in the town, including the town square and part of the Whitetail Woods where they had their annual running of the leaves, which wouldn’t be needed for quite a while. Both Daedalus, and surprisingly Razor, listened to what she had to say and enjoyed her almost encyclopedic knowledge of the town. It was almost too encyclopedic. Somehow, in the midst of it all, the three of them found themselves in the market street. Since it was in fact a market day, ponies and stands of all kinds practically littered the streets. There were so many stands with so many different kinds of food being sold that they couldn’t possibly keep track of all of them. Not only that, but the prices they were selling their products for were mind blowingly cheaper than either Razor or Daedalus were used to in the city. If nothing else, at least Daedalus now knew where to come to buy weekly groceries. “Twilight!” The sound of someone calling out to them caught them off guard for a moment. The three of them looked over to see an orange earth pony with a blonde mane and tail wearing a brown Stetson hat running an apple stand waving at them. Seeming happy to see her, Twilight trotted over towards her, and Razor and Daedalus, not knowing what else to do, followed her. “Why howdy Twi,” the earth pony said to her as she approached. “What brings yah back this way? You forget somethin’?” She spoke with a sort of southern dialect that neither Razor nor Daedalus had heard before. Somehow, Daedalus guessed that Twilight had just come from here. “No, not really,” Twilight said to her. “I’m just showing these two around Ponyville,” she continued as she motioned to the two ponies behind her. The earth pony looked behind Twilight to see Razor and Daedalus standing there. “They just moved to Ponyville so I’m showing them around.” “Why that’s mighty kind of ya Twi,” the earth pony said to her as Twilight turned around and stepped aside so she could step forward to meet them. “Applejack...” said Twilight to her. “Meet Daedalus the thirteenth and...” she paused a moment before she could say anymore. “May... runes... Razor?” “Just call me Razor,” Razor said to her, not at all disturbed by the fact that she had botched his first name. “Everypony else does.” “Oh,” Twilight said, now slightly embarrassed. “Sorry.” “Oh don’t worry about it,” replied Razor keeping his smile on his face. “Well, it’s a mighty fine pleasure to make your acquaintance,” the earth pony said to the two of them. “Mah name’s Applejack, the owner and caretaker of Sweet Apple Acres.” “Hi,” Daedalus said, extending a friendly hoof to shake. The earth pony took a hold of it and prepared to shake it with great ferocity and vigor, but when she tried, it barely moved. Applejack wasn’t entirely sure if she should be shocked by this, but then again, he was only slightly shorter than her brother was. She let go of his hoof after a moment and turned her attention over towards Razor, who just smiled plainly at her. She extended a friendly hoof to him as well, and much to her relief, when she shook his hoof it actually moved. “I like your accent,” Razor said to her as she shook his hoof. “I don’t think I’ve ever met somepony who talked quite like you did. Makes you sound cuter than you already are.” “Why, thank yah kindly,” Applejack said to him as she let go of his hoof, her face lighting up red a little, as she looked away from him and chuckled lightly to herself. “Wait, you’ve never met anypony who talked like Applejack?” Twilight asked, slightly surprised. “Really from where we've lived, we have never had the chance to meet anypony that spoke with a southern or remotely similar accent,” Daedalus replied. “Really, well where have ya’ll lived before?” Applejack asked, now curious. “Well, we've most recently moved from Fillydelphia after an,” he paused for a second before clearing his throat, “accident. Before that, we lived in Baltimare, and before that Seaddle, Coltorado Springs, and the first place in which we lived was Canterlot.” “You used to live in Canterlot!” Twilight said, now suddenly interested. “Yeah,” Razor said to her in response. “Yep, both of us were born and raised there.” “Well, we did years ago before we left for bigger, better and brighter things, but yes, we once lived in Canterlot. So?” “So!” Twilight said, suddenly more invested. “I used to live in Canterlot.” “Really,” replied Razor. “That’s awesome.” “Neat,” was all Daedalus could say. Suddenly, Twilight felt herself more drawn to these two, and she found herself compelled to learn more about them. “Well, if ya’ll ever need some fresh apples come on by. We’re always open,” Applejack said to them. “Thanks, we will,” Razor said to her. Applejack felt herself blush a little again as he spoke to her. “Will do,” Daedalus said. “Well, we better get going. It was good seeing you Applejack,” Twilight said. “You too, Twi. Well, I guess I’ll be seein’ ya’ll around,” replied Applejack as she turned to face Razor and Daedalus. “Yeah I guess we will,” said Razor as he and Daedalus turned to leave. “Bye,” said Daedalus as he, Razor and Twilight trotted off back into town. “Hold on, fellas!” Applejack called out to them forcing them to turn back to face her. From the basket nearest her, she withdrew two apples and tossed them to the three ponies standing at the entrance to her stand. Twilight's horn lit up in a brilliant mauve to catch the first apple while Razor's horn lit up in an emerald green to catch the second. However, before she could react, she found the apple aimed closest to her was caught in an emerald glow as well and floated down towards Razor. He smiled briefly as she looked him over and with a light chuckle, he brought one of the apples towards him and passed the second apple onto Daedalus. “Free samples!” Applejack called out to them as she got back behind her apple stand. “Thank you!” Razor yelled back at her as he held up his apple with his magic. “Thanks, darling,” said Daedalus as he tucked the apple under his wing. Applejack just smiled back at them as they all turned to leave. As they walked away, Razor brought the apple to his mouth and took a bite. His face suddenly lit up as he tasted what he was sure was the sweetest apple he’d ever tasted in his life. “Mmm... Juicy,” was all he could say before he took another bite. Neither Twilight nor Daedalus said anything as they kept going. After about two minutes, the three of them found themselves back in Ponyville proper. Twilight was in front of both of them leading the way and pointing out buildings and spots of interests of all kinds while Razor and Daedalus only slightly behind her with Razor to her right and Daedalus to her left. While this particular fact wasn’t at all important now, it would be, and shockingly soon as well. END PART 1
