The Forgemaster

by OnlineImhotep

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Comedy, Random
Length: 211003

A brilliant though taciturn smith is sent to Equestria through unknown means. Follow the characters as they deal with this new development.

The Forgemaster, brilliant, magical smith that he is, has nonetheless been transported to Equestria.
With the weight of thousands of years of life on his shoulders, he emerges onto the scene.
With a past that he is certainly not sharing, how will Equestria react to his mighty presence?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-19 22:33:52 UTC

Chapter 2

The Forgemaster was standing in his personal workshop, working on his latest masterpiece.

'Until the next one', he thought with amusement.

As he stood over his forge, pounding the red hot steel with his hammer, a knock was barely heard on the door over the clanging of metal-on-metal. The knock quickly petered out and the door opened. He looked and saw one of his apprentices, standing there in the doorway with a scroll in his hands.

'Robert', he thought.

The Forgemaster put the cooling steel back into the flame, set down his tools, and waved his apprentice forwards.

As he approached, Robert began to speak," Master, a letter has arrived from the king of Cephorus, one King Haydrian."

The Forgemaster merely looked his apprentice in the eye, nodded, took the scroll and set it down, then turned back to his forge, ready to get back to work. The Forgemaster had just picked up his tongs and hammer when Robert spoke once more:

" Master, the messenger said it was important."

He was not visibly affected, he was far too well trained for that, but in his mind he was angered: Nothing gets in the way on his work without a good reason! He picked up the scroll from where he set it down and read it. As he read it, he understood what was needed, though the message was nothing special to the untrained eye, this King Haydrian was an old friend of his and knew of his messaging ciphers, and he would help his friend through his troubles. Once he was done, he gave it to Robert so that he may read as well. Once Robert had read, the shock evident on his face, The Forgemaster plucked the letter from his hands and tossed it into the flame.

"Master! What are you going to do about this?" Robert exclaimed.

The Forgemaster looked Robert dead in his eye, in his characteristic manner, and merely pointed towards the map on the wall. While many who didn't know him wouldn't have understood, his apprentice of nearly a decade understood his meaning well.

"You are going to travel to Cephorus and meet with this king." Robert stated, not asked.

The Forgemaster merely nodded his head and proceeded to gather his travelling gear and the necessary ingredients: his clawed gauntlets, a large bag of sample metals, and some light armor for the way to Cephorus was not without its dangers.

"But Master! You don't even know what he wants! The letter just said, 'Something horrible has occurred and I need your help, I require your skill as a smith and your genius for crafting wonders', and that was the entire message! He didn't even explain what he needed and you're going anyway!" Robert was getting frustrated with his master now.

The Forgemaster simple looked at Robert with a glare and Robert shut up; The Forgemaster had that effect on people, even those who knew him well. By that time The Forgemaster had gathered everything he needed, for it was all stored in his own workshop. As he left, he went up to Robert, took the key that hung off his neck by a strap, and pressed it into his hand.

The meaning, though not said with words, was clear: 'The workshop is yours until I get back'.

Robert simply stared after his master as he walked through the town, out through the gates, down the path, and into the forest. Robert then looked down at the key and felt a roar of pride within him: the master trusted him to look after his beloved workshop! Him, no one else! Not the other apprentices: HIM! After the small party/nervous breakdown in his mind, Robert stepped into the workshop of the greatest smith ever born… and explored.

Chapter 3

The Forgemaster had just entered the forest and all was quiet. That was to be expected of course! Humans just don't go into a forest without the locals noticing and running away. Such is the norm in the life of a predator. With that thought in his head, he continued down the path towards his destination.

-5hours later-

The Forgemaster had left the town well into the afternoon and it was dark now. He gathered a few sticks near the path he was on, set up his bed as a pile of leaves, and then made a small fire with the stick he collected. As he lie there, next to the fire, he stared at the night sky and thought, as great men do, great thoughts.

Thoughts like: 'I hope it doesn't rain.' and 'The sky sure does look peaceful.'

But as he lied there, he had an epiphany! What if there were other worlds! But just as quickly as the thought came up, he quashed it.

'Even if there are other worlds', he mused, 'I could never visit another!'

And with that, he drifted off to sleep.

-Morning in Equestria-

(A/N - I know you all know the plot of the first episode; my character isn't present for most of it. We skip to the morning on the day where the Mane 6 meets Nightmare Moon)

The Forgemaster was waking up, with a start. He quickly got to his feet.

'Something is wrong here.' He thought.

As he glanced around, trying to find out what was troubling him, it hit him like a pile of bricks: HE WAS NAKED! He looked down, surprise showing on his face for the first time in years, he quickly checked to see what else was taken from him. He still had his gauntlets, and after some searching, found the metal samples nearby. Now THAT was confusing, what thief would steal his clothing but not his metals? They would carry far more value than his clothes. And another thing, his logic butting in, how in the world did the thief take his cloths without him noticing!

While completely and utterly confused, The Forgemaster kept his calm, it had kept him alive in situations both similar too and more dangerous than this one. He grimaced at the memory. He went to a nearby puddle and put mud all over his body, then he mentally shrugged, at least he had what really mattered and what couldn't be replaced if lost. Besides, it wasn't the first time he woke up naked someplace he probably shouldn't have been naked…

But as he looked around, he noticed something strange about the forest he was in, but he couldn't quite place it. Then he noticed, nothing looked familiar to him! Even the path he practically slept next to was gone! With that, he mentally shrugged once more, and, picking up the metals, he started heading off in his chosen direction.

'After all,' he thought with a trace of amusement,' no forest can last forever!'

-14hours later-

'I was wrong, horribly horribly wrong!' he thought,' this bloody forest DOES go on forever!'

In his defense, The Forgemaster hadn't crossed a path, a person, or even an animal in his trek across this forest! The Forgemaster was getting somewhat tires, considering he was practically running the entire time, so he found the nearest bush and crawled underneath it and fell asleep. He awoke not 20 minutes later to a cry of: "A Manticore!" then a sudden "ROOOOOAAAARRRRR!"

He groaned, then peeked through the bush but couldn't see anything; the voices were coming from the top of an embankment he was at the bottom of. So he just stood completely up and climbed on up, leaving his pack of metals in the bush. On the way up he heard what could only be described as a battle. As he reached the top, he stepped on to a path.

'Goddamnit self!' het thought angrily, 'how could you sleep this close to a path and not see it!'

Once properly on the path; he looked left. And saw the oddest assortment of tiny horses he had ever seen. They were all manners of colors from purple to yellow and even blue! In fact, one of them had a rainbow colored mane! And they had the largest eyes he had ever seen, yet they all had the same emotion in their eyes: fear.

'Ponies, not horses, too small to be horses', he corrected himself, then he looked closer, seeing the wings and horns,' OK unicorns and pegasi, too. God, that is weird, but hey, you live a few centuries; your opinion of weird changes."

He took all this in with a glance not even considering them the monster he had heard as he climbed the embankment; he then turned to his right… to see a very large, very angry, half-lion, half-scorpion with frickin' wings.

'Of course it has wings, you get that much ugly in one from, God gives you a conciliatory prize', He thought, drily.

He then noticed that this abomination was looking straight at the ponies as thought they were its next meal. And that he had just walked between it and its meal. The angry manticore then looked straight at The Forgemaster as a predator evaluates its prey.

The Forgemaster thought,' There is no way I'm going to get killed and eaten by the likes of you ugly!'

And with that, The Forgemaster extended the claws on his gauntlets, specifically enchanted to cut through anything and everything, and dropped into a fighting stance.

-Twilight's POV-

As we sat there, preparing our next attack against the manticore. A HUGE creature I had never seen before walked out of the forest, looked at us for a moment and then looked at the manticore, which looked straight back at the creature. This new creature all of a sudden grew claws right in front of me!

'This creature was certainly strange', I thought to myself,' Bipedal, furless, giant at least2 times my height probably more, with appendages that ended in fingers, like Spike's. I've never seen anything like it before; I just have to study it! Oh no, is it going to fight the manticore!''

As she and her new-found friends looked on, a quick yet brutal battle played out before them. The manticore did what any giant predator encountering a new foe would do: it charged straight at the newcomer and tried to gauge its strength relative to itself. But as it reached the new creature, the giant bipedal side-stepped and brought his left-hoof claws directly into its chest, while simultaneously he used his right-hoof claws to take its left wing off. The manticore howled in pain and was instantly crippled; the new-comer had no thoughts of mercy however. As the manticore lay on the ground in obvious pain and unable to move, this giant thing calmly walked up to it, then brought its claws down across its throat, decapitating it instantly.

Twilight was astounded! She had never before seen a creature that could kill a manticore so quickly. Granted she had never been to a forest before, but no other creature she had read about besides a dragon or a hydra could have killed one that fast! And hydras and dragons are much bigger than this creature, yet it still managed to kill the manticore just the same!

Twilight took a glance at her friends… they were all staring with their mouths wide open at the spectacle. As Twilight watched, the creature put out a hoof and fell on its backside and sat there looking at them.

'Studying us more like,' thought Twilight.

Twilight quickly gathered her wits and walked up to this… thing. At 10 feet she stopped and sat down across from the creature, staring at it even as it stared straight back.

Chapter 4

The Forgemaster had just finished his battle, none the worse for wear. Though the beast's tail had given him a wound on his leg as he passed, he looked at it and knew it wasn't serious. He would be fine in an hour or 2. He looked back at the ponies, all of them with shock and fear on their faces. But the lavender unicorn's face also displayed… curiosity? With that, he sat down and stared at them, studying them and trying to find out if the owner, whom he had heard call out 'A Manticore!' was anywhere nearby.

As he looked on, one of the tiny creatures worked up the courage to walk right up to him and, just outside his reach, sit down. He stared at the unicorn and the unicorn stared right back.

During this mutual staring contest, the other ponies stopped looking on with fear and just looked interested in what their purple compatriot was doing. The Forgemaster was having a ball, inside his head, for he had never seen creatures as colorful, emotional, and diverse as these. Their eyes were huge, so even if they weren't human, he could read their emotions easily. 2 had horns, 2 had wings, and 2 had neither. There was a yellow one with a pink mane, a light blue one with a multi-colored rainbow name, there was a white one with a purple mane, a pink one with a pink mane too, there was a light orange one with a blonde mane, and, of course, the curious lavender one sitting across from him. He started to wonder what manner of man could own these creatures and not be driven insane by the colors and human-like emotions splayed across their faces.

As he silently took this all in, the lavender unicorn in front of him started to speak!

"What are you creature? Where did you come from?" Purple asked.

The Forgemaster had travelled the world and seen many wondrous sights, so he was well versed in hiding his emotions. But this purple creature speaking in a language he could understand managed to make him come within an inch of losing his poker-face for the first time in decades. Then he had another thought, he was still naked! He couldn't speak with another thinking creature if he was naked! Then he noticed that the creatures didn't have on clothes either, so he figured he was in the clear for a little while at least. Even as he thought this, the purple unicorn spoke once more.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle, what is your name?"

No response from The Forgemaster. Just the same, blank stare.

"Can you understand me? Hello?" the purple pony; Twilight Sparkle was its name, continued.

The Forgemaster saw an opportunity here: if he could pretend to be a dumb animal, these sapient ponies would lower their guard about him and enable him to learn more about them!

The light blue winged pony; a Pegasus, spoke up, "Twilight, I don't think it can understand you." The Pegasus then turned to the other Pegasus of the group and said, "Fluttershy have you seen any animals like this before?"

This Fluttershy character hid behind her mane and mumbled a silent, "No."

In all this, Twilight hadn't taken its eyes off of him. He was beginning to feel uneasy at her staring; he could feel her going over every inch of him with her eyes, like a merchant looking over a particularly interesting artifact.

But just then, the orange pony in the group spoke up with a strange accent, "Ah don't think we can let this critter slow us up none, we have tah get to Nightmare Moon!"

With that, the herd of ponies left. Twilight, however, was still sitting and staring at him, until the blue Pegasus literally dragged her away kicking and screaming from the Forgemaster. The Forgemaster, too, sat there for a moment before getting up, memorizing the path so he could find his bag later, and followed the ponies.

The ponies didn't seem to take notice of him, even though he was a giant; he could be very sneaky when needed. A result of his practice sessions with the local thieves, no doubt. He followed the ponies quietly, until the pink one looked behind her and noticed.

"Ohmicelestia! That thing is following us!" the pink pony practically screeched.

The other ponies turned, and sure enough, there he was. The ponies immediately formed a line facing him, looking aggressive. He simply looked at them, not altering his stance or averting his gaze.

Twilight broke the silence, "I think it's okay girls, he protected us from the manticore, after all. He can't possibly want to hurt us. If he wanted to he could have done it earlier. I mean he took out a manticore like it was nothing! I'm sure we couldn't do a thing to him if he wanted to hurt us."

The group of ponies, all females The Forgemaster noticed: if her speech was anything to go by, just kept looking at him, even more scared because of Twilight's logical yet insensitive speech.

Fluttershy broke the silence this time, "Maybe he's just curious. I've met lots of animals who are curious about ponies. Some live so deep in the Everfree that they've never seen a pony at all!"

After a moment of silence, Applejack spoke next, "Well, if'n he wants tah come along, Ah reckon we might as well let 'im."

The Forgemaster hadn't reacted during their speaking, he hadn't reacted at all to anything they have said since meeting them; leaving Twilight to believe he couldn't actually understand the ponies. The reality, however, was far different, he had learned much about these ponies from listening in when they didn't know he was there. He knew their names, their races, their gender, their personalities, the names of several other ponies he had yet to meet, why they were in the forest to begin with, their opinion of what happened with the manticore, what land he was in, who the ruler was, and where they lived: in a town they called Ponyville. He even discovered the Twilight was the pupil of a Princess Celestia. He took in all this information without batting an eyelash; he had been at this game for more than 4 centuries now. He could handle a few surprises and confusing information.

The ponies nodded an affirmative to Applejack and they continued down the path; their human shadow close behind. As they walked, The Forgemaster noticed the forest getting darker and darker, almost unnaturally. The ponies didn't seem to notice until the path got completely dark. As he stood there, the trees seemed to come alive with unnatural faces and creepy visages. The equines were freaking out, all of them screaming at the scary faces around them. The Forgemaster just stood there; trees couldn't hurt him, so they weren't a threat worth addressing with fear or anger. The ponies disagreed with him apparently and were still screaming.

Then the ponies noticed Pinkie Pie; laughing at the trees. After some dialogue he couldn't help but not care about, Pinkie Pie launched into a song about laughing at one's fears. She even tried to get him to participate, which failed miserably, but the other ponies were singing along and doing what her song told them to do: giggle at the ghosties and chortle at the creepy. The Forgemaster simply stood, watching the strange spectacle before him. As he did, he felt his masculinity being threatened but didn't care.

After a moment of rolling on the forest floor laughing: the ponies stood and made way to the next destination. After several minutes of walking, with Pinkie Pie bouncing, the ponies and he made it to a river that seemed to be in a permanent state of rapids. After the ponies looked for a moment, questioning how they were going to cross this obstacle, they heard crying and sobbing off to the left. The group went off to investigate and found, much to their surprise, a sea-serpent with a ruined mustache was creating the horrible waves in the river.

After a few moments of feminine fashion speak and more practical comments from the other ponies: Rarity cut her tail and gave it to the serpent to fix its mustache. The sea-beast was so enthused that he quit its thrashing, enabling us to pass. The ponies were offered the creature's body as a series of stepping stones, but The Forgemaster found it easier to swim. As he reached the other bank, he remembered to cover himself in mud once more, so as not to give a glimpse of something that shouldn't be seen to the female ponies. He may be another species but he wasn't about to go and show his privates to a bunch of females.

And with that necessary business concluded, he went back to his pony companions and noticed that Fluttershy was beet red and hiding behind her mane much more than usual. The Forgemaster suspected that Fluttershy had seen his… business. That would explain her actions but the other ponies weren't affected so they were either more mature, or didn't see him. He was going to bet on the 2nd option, these ponies were far too innocent in mind to not react if something like THAT was seen.

The Forgemaster was worried but the ponies were already moving away, and he had to follow them now: they led him much deeper into the forest and didn't know the way out. He was thinking of what was happening for these ponies to be off in a dangerous forest by themselves. Applejack had mentioned Nightmare Moon and from listening in on other conversations he learned about the 'Elements of Harmony' and what this Nightmare Moon was trying to do. It seemed to him that if his kingdom was about to be plunged into eternal night, he would send much more than 6 young ponies with no experience. He would send a bloody army!

'This Princess Celestia character must be a real bone-head.' He thought.

He was still contemplating the repercussions of a foolish leader dealing with a powerful evil force when the group was stopped at an old rope bridge across a canyon. The rope bridge was down and there was no way to cross. In the distance he saw an old castle and was informed by Twilight's exclamation that that was the destination.

Then Twilight decided to run straight at the downed rope bridged, clearly not noticing that it was, in fact, broken. As she was hanging over the edge The Forgemaster reached over, picked her up, and set her down farther from the edge.

"What's with you and falling off cliffs today?" Rainbow Dash remarked, he didn't understand what she had said but then got the gist of it from Pinkie who recounted the events in Pinkie-speak next to him.

Pinkie Pie was dismayed that they couldn't cross, but then Rainbow flashed her wings and flew across. As The Forgemaster watched, he noticed the distance, the age of the bridge, and how secure the ropes were on their side. He quickly determined that while he may not be able to cross the bridge, he most certainly could make the jump if he had a running start.

He stepped back several feet to do just that, when he noticed a few ponies on the other side speaking with Rainbow. As Twilight and the ponies on his side noticed as well, the fog suddenly thickened unnaturally fast. Something about those ponies struck a chord in The Forgemaster: he didn't like them one bit, he felt they were evil. So he looked down, found a sizable rock, and chucked it across the gap where the evil ponies were last seen. He was rewarded for his accuracy with a short screech and then the fog magically disappeared, along with the ponies on the other side: who were nowhere to be seen.

Rainbow quickly fixed the bridge and led the other ponies across the bridge. The Forgemaster waited until they were all off the bridge then he took a step. The board he stepped on immediately broke, falling into the deep canyon below. The Forgemaster was right: the bridge couldn't support his weight. The ponies had stopped at the other side and were looking at him with great interest; Twilight's horn had started to glow for some reason, too. Since he couldn't walk across he used Plan B, taking several steps back, he jumped across the canyon, landing safely on the other side with a thud.

He looked up to see the other ponies looking at him with awe; he had jumped a huge distance after all, but Twilight just looked at him with confusion. As he stood up and prepared to follow the mares into the ancient castle, he heard Twilight whisper something to Rarity.

"I just don't understand. I tried to levitate the creature with my magic, but it was like it didn't affect it at all. When he jumped across the canyon that was entirely creature's ability, I couldn't have helped if I wanted to!"

'Hmmm, so Twilight is a magus? I didn't know that. I think we could teach each other some things, I'm sure this land's magic is different than home's!' The Forgemaster thought, 'I wonder where my homeland is, surely these ponies will know, but I mustn't give up my ruse just yet. I'm sure I can learn much more!'

With that thought; he stepped, alongside the ponies, into a large chamber with a stone statue in the middle of it.

Chapter 5

As The Forgemaster entered the chamber, the ponies sped ahead of him, running or flying straight to the large statue.

Twilight was saying, "The Elements of Harmony! We found them."

The Forgemaster thought that they just looked like carved stone, but the ponies seemed to revere them as, for lack of a better term, holy relics. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were taking down the stones off of their pedestal and placing them in front of Twilight, who was urging caution to the pegasi.

As the rocks were being collected, Pinkie Pie counted them and found, much to her surprise, but not The Forgemaster's who had counted them beforehand, that there were only 5.

The pink pony was asking, "Where's the 6th!"

At this point, The Forgemaster was getting bored with the ponies and their holy rocks, which looked like nothing special to him. And so, he looked around the castle, admiring the craftsmanship even though it was almost completely destroyed and thousands of years old. He was still looking about the room when Applejack and the others left, mumbling about how Twilight needed to concentrate. She tried to get The Forgemaster to leave with them, but he just stood his ground and, after a few failed attempts, Applejack let him be. After all, how could a giant, silent, and unintelligent animal like him disrupt her concentration?

After a few moments of looking around the room, his eyes settled on Twilight Sparkle. Her head bowed, her horn glowing, and crouched before the stones. It looked as though she were performing a ritual of some sort. He thought it best not to interrupt a ritual that required the power he could feel flowing through the room and, silent or no, he wasn't going to stand there and be a potential distraction. He had just made up his mind about leaving when he noticed a dark blue aura, shadow thing snake over to Twilight and cause a tornado on the Elements in front of her. Well, he wasn't going to have any of that! He may have only met the ponies a few hours ago, but they were the only friendly creatures to him that he had met, they also had no idea who he was but still treated him with respect, so he felt he should repay their hospitality.

He was rushing towards Twilight when she noticed the tornado and called out, the other ponies heard and came rushing back up the steps but were far too slow. While he may not have known what this tornado was going to do, but he felt no good could come of it. Just as he reached her, she jumped into the tornado and he followed closely behind. Once inside, he felt a stomach wrenching pressure and then he popped out somewhere else! Twilight was beside him and she was coughing up the smoke that had appeared. When she had stopped coughing, she looked up and gasped. He followed her line-of-sight to where it ended in a large black pony, with both wings and a horn who was laughing… at them! It occurred to The Forgemaster that this evil creature was likely Nightmare Moon.

All of a sudden, Twilight got a determined look in her eyes. The Forgemaster knew that look, he had seen this look before, he saw it on the faces of every hero he had ever given one of his creations to: it was the look foolish heroes got whenever they were going to do something incredibly brave and, simultaneously, incredibly stupid. He knew just what she had planned; a charge. He knew the larger combatant had an advantage in a direct charge, and he wanted to protect Twilight Sparkle from harm. So he picked himself up, unsheathed his claws, pushed Twilight out of the way, and charged in her place. He noticed that both ponies were surprised at his actions; he managed to get 1/3 of the way to the dark pony before she too charged. Just as Nightmare Moon and he connected, he looked past his enemy's shoulder to see Twilight Sparkle at the elements. There was no way she could've been that fast but he paid it no heed. The pony in front of him required his complete attention.

The combatants connected only once before the Nightmare looked back to see Twilight and what she was doing. She gasped, turned into smoke, and got to Twilight far faster than he ever could. She appeared from a puff of smoke right in the middle of the Elements. Twilight yelped out in pain as a bolt of electricity hit her in the head. Nightmare Moon then looked down at the stones, which were pulsating blue, and gasped, she thought she was going to be defeated! Then whatever it was that had happened to the rocks stopped and Nightmare Moon just started to laugh before rearing up and stomping the ground, shattering the Elements. The Nightmare then turned to The Forgemaster and, with a glow from her horn, trapped him beneath the rubble of a collapsing ceiling.

As he was trapped, The Forgemaster could hear everything that went on outside. He heard the stereotypical, evil, and egotistical rant that Nightmare Moon gave to Twilight about how she couldn't defeat her and some other terrible gibberish. Then he heard the other ponies walk in. He then was forced to listen to Twilight's speech about the spirits of the Elements of Harmony, how she had found out who they were, and what Element they represent. It turned out Twilight was talking about her friends and that Twilight could defeat Nightmare Moon after all. As he was trapped, he thought about how much he HATED being a captive audience. He managed to move a few stones around that obstructed his view. He watched as a rainbow tide of pure ass-kicking power swept over Nightmare Moon. Then everything went quiet.

After several minutes of no activity, The Forgemaster decided that everyone in the room, besides himself, must be unconscious. He could only see the pedestal that Nightmare Moon and the Elements had been on through the hole he had made but didn't hear anything. After still more minutes of no activity, he started to feel this day's and the previous one's drain on him. As he was trapped in his stone prison, The Forgemaster fell asleep for the first time in almost 2 days.

Chapter 7

The trip back to Ponyville was uneventful. The Forgemaster retrieved his metals where he had left them at the site of the manticore fight. The entire time back, he reverted to his non-speaking self, despite all of the questions from the ponies and especially Twilight. As they neared the sight of the battle; Celestia was looking at the carnage the brutality of the with evident disgust.

As The Forgemaster neared the sight, his leg suddenly flared up in pain, but you couldn't tell it from looking at him, his pace didn't change and neither did his expression. He noticed the pain but refused to allow it to affect him. He was, however, certain that the pain signified nothing good, likely a poison. So he turned to Twilight and spoke for the first time since Celestia's interrogation.

"Twilight Sparkle, are manticores poisonous?" he asked.

"Why yes, in fact they are.” she answered, “Wait, does this have something to do with the wound on your leg?"

"Anti-venom?"

"We'll have to go to the hospital in Ponyville, they would have some. But if you are poisoned you can't be walking on that leg! Your heart pumping will just move the poison around more!"

"I'll make it. Faster."

With those few words uttered, he threw the bag of metals over his shoulder and continued down the path faster than he had before. All the other ponies had heard the conversation, and looked towards The Forgemaster with concern and sped up to match pace with the giant. Twilight, however, wasn't done with him.

"You can't be walking! Manticore poison is extremely dangerous! If you move, the poison will get to your heart faster and you'll die!"

"Happened yesterday. Walked all day yesterday. Not dead."

"Regardless, I can't let you move anymore." As The Forgemaster didn't stop, slow, or respond; Twilight knew she would have to force him to stop.

So she turned to the group and said, "Can somepony help him?”

No matter how timid Fluttershy is normally, she would always take charge if somepony, or in this case: some human, was hurt. So she flew next to The Forgemaster's head and tried to convince him, in a very quiet yet forceful voice.

"You have to stop or you might die. We can carry you with magic, or we can carry you with a stretcher. But you have to stop! Um, if that's okay with you."

He just kept walking forward but replied with, "Magic won't work. You're all too weak. I'm walking."

Fluttershy was used to dealing with un-cooperative patients and knew that the solution was an application of The Stare. But, she felt some trepidation with using it on another thinking creature. But a wave from the others gave her the courage to use The Stare on The Forgemaster. She flew directly in front of him, locked eyes, and commenced The Stare.

For a few moments he didn't react, as per usual. But after that small amount of time, he just walked away! He knew what she was doing, it was a rare gift, not very many people or ponies could simply glare at someone to get them under their spell. But, fortunately for him, he had met people before with a similar ability, became great friends with them, and learned how to resist it. He continued down the path.

"Fluttershy, don't do that to thinking creatures. You know why."

The other ponies were stupefied, though Twilight was confused; they had never seen a Stare from Fluttershy fail, but to see it reversed must have been truly shocking. This human was a truly hotbed for surprises: he killed a manticore one-on-one, he disrespected Celestia and lived, he fought Nightmare Moon and lived, he is poisoned but still walking as though it hadn't happened, and he resisted a Stare from Fluttershy! He continued down the path at the same pace as before. The other ponies had to run after him to catch up.

The Forgemaster kept walking. Not once looking back.

Chapter 8

As the group of ponies approached the edge of the forest, Princess Celestia spoke the thing on everypony's mind.

"Forgemaster, I don't think it's a good idea to walk through town naked."

"Neither do I." came the unexpected response.

"Well, the girls and I will go to the chariot where the guards are waiting and get into town that way. You should sneak to the other side of town to Carousel Boutique; Rarity can make clothes for you there." Turning to Rarity she said," Rarity, go straight to your boutique and get him cleaned and some clothes." At this Rarity nodded.

Celestia then turned to Fluttershy and said, "He'll need the anti-venom soon, get to the hospital and then to Rarity's Boutique as fast as you can."Fluttershy nodded. Finally, Celestia turned to the Forgemaster and said, "You'll have to sneak to the Boutique, I don't want you causing an uproar in the town before we can introduce you properly."

"Yes." The Forgemaster replied. He then held his hand palm up whereupon a small blue light was seen. In a flash, the blue light was gone and so was The Forgemaster! All the ponies gaped at the sight before them, even Celestia. The human had just used magic! To turn invisible no less; invisibility is a very advanced and complicated spell to use, but the human pulled it off like to was easy!

Celestia got over her shock faster than the other ponies and managed to speak," You never told us you could use magic, human!"

The sardonic reply came from several feet down the path towards Ponyville. "Never asked."

The ponies were still staring down the path in surprise when Celestia spoke to them, "Come on my little ponies, we have a party to attend. We'll get answers out of him after."

All of the ponies were content with this. Except Twilight, who was overjoyed at the concept of meeting another being besides a unicorn that could actively use magic! Her head was so awash with the possibilities that Rainbow had to smack her to get her out of her daze. The ponies then went to Ponyville to attend the celebration. Fluttershy and Rarity went about their tasks as quickly as possible through the crowds.

As Rarity walked up to her boutique, she noticed the dirt on her doorstep. Apparently, he had cleaned as much dirt as he could off before entering.

'What a gentlecolt', thought Rarity.

As she walked in, she saw The Forgemaster wearing a small clothe around his waist, covering himself in front of the lady-pony. He was the first to speak, unexpectedly.

"Shower?" he asked, clear as day.

Rarity was too busy inspecting the now-slightly-cleaner creature in front of her to respond immediately, but she soon said, "Oh yes, dearie. First door on your right, upstairs is the bathroom. I'll have a towel waiting for you, be quick so I can start on your clothes!"

The Forgemaster walked up the stairs and to the bathroom. As he walked in, he noticed that pony facilities were different from human facilities, but that was to be expected: differing body structure and all. He quickly identified the shower, stepped in, and cleaned himself. He noticed that the ponies seemed to only have one temperature: cold. But, then again, he was in a small village. Maybe it was different in the cities.

Fluttershy had just arrived with the anti-venom when he stepped out of the shower. She knocked on the door just as he brought his towel up to cover himself.

"Um, excuse me, but I got the anti-venom." Fluttershy spoke, barely audible through the door.

He opened the door to see Fluttershy with the anti-venom. A small blue container and a syringe with a needle for injection was what she had brought. He stepped back and got to the floor, then held out his hand for the instruments. Fluttershy seemed appalled at this; she could hardly let the patient fix himself!

He noticed the look she unknowingly gave him, a look of shock and horror, and realized she didn't like him treating himself.

So he spoke, "Fluttershy, you don't know enough to help me, give the anti-venom and syringe here."

She realized he was right; she knew nothing of human anatomy. So she handed the materials over and watched as he drew the blue liquid into the syringe, insert the syringe, needle first, into his arm, and push down the plunger. The pain in his leg was subsiding immediately and was nearly gone completely when Rarity called out.

"Forgemaster, if we don't get started on your clothes soon you'll have to be nude for the celebration!"

He walked downstairs, Fluttershy following him. As he reached the bottom he said 2 things.

"Blinds. Door."

Rarity quickly drew the blinds and locked the door. He stepped on the platform she indicated with her hoof.

She said, "While I take your measurements, please use this sketch-pad to draw what you want me to make."

He nodded and took the sketch pad and pencil and began to draw.

They worked in silence until the inevitable came; the measurements needed under the towel.

"Dear, you must remove the towel so I can take your waist and thigh measurements."

"No."

"I'm a professional, it won't be awkward."

"Yes, it will."

After several minutes of them bickering back and forth, he asked if he could do the measurements, she acquiesced, and the issue was resolved. He gave her the sketch pad and she was amazed at the level of detail! Not only did he make accurate illustrations of what he wanted, he gave measurements in units, a scale to size, and an entire drawing of what he would look like when he wore the clothing as an outfit!

Rarity was amazed, "How did you draw this! It will look great on you; the colors flatter you, they show off your figure, and I think I can make it in mere hours! I simply must know your inspiration; these clothing ideas are so original."

He looked her dead in the eye and said, "Captain Barbossa."

She said, "Who?"

"Another human, you won't understand."

As he stood there, towel now draped correctly around his waist once more, he had an idea, and asked Rarity.

He asked, "Rarity, do you have any small, hard things. Like a rock or some tile?"

She said, "No, but I do have some spare gems, would those do?"

He was ecstatic; the idea he had would work far easier with gems than with stones.

"Bring them here, please."

She came back a few moments later with a small bag of gems. He took them from her and took a small piece of metal from his bag that was on her couch then began his work. She went to the back of the shop to get materials for her work. As she went back there, she called out, "Forgemaster is there any particular material you want them in?"

He called back, "Leather", but immediately realized his mistake: these ponies won't take kindly to wearing the skin of an animal.

Thankfully, this crisis was averted when she called back, "What's leather?"

He capitalized on both her ignorance and her personality with saying, "Never mind. You're the expert."

She walked in with several bales of a black material he didn't recognize. She took an interest in his work; he had bent over the tiny gems and was scratching what looked like writing into them. He spoke before she could ask.

"Carving runes." He explained,"These will help me. Place them on clothes in places they won't fall, Rarity."

"What kind of runes are you tracing, Forgemaster?"

He pointed to sets of matching runes, at the first he said, "Protection", he pointed at another and said, "Transmutation", and finally pointed at the last with, "Magic correlation."

"Well, what do those do?"

"Protect me, change with me, do what I do."

"You can change your forms! How?"

"Magic.", Came the simple response to a rather complex question.

After that, she kept asking questions, but he never answered. Eventually, she sighed in frustration and stopped. He continued with his task, and she with hers. In a few hours, both were done. He even managed to cut tiny holes through the gems so they may be sewn in by Rarity. He then dressed up in the new clothes, to which Rarity complimented him with 'Dashing' and 'Fabulous'. She particularly liked the hat with a feather in it. With that show over, they walked outside together to go join the party that was still going on, somehow, hours later. As they exited the Boutique, however, things went sour fast.

There were 3 colts walking down the street and as soon as they saw The Forgemaster, they began to taunt the 2.

"Hey Rarity, is that one of your tame Diamond Dogs!" the one in the middle called out, his 2 friends snickering.

"Ugh, you ruffians! He is not a Diamond Dog, he is a human and not to be trifled with."

'Good going Rarity, now he'll have to act tough.' Thought The Forgemaster.

"Oh, he's not to be trifled with, is he? I bet he's as weak as a new-born filly!" the colt shouted back.

'Told you so' thought The Forgemaster.

"He's not! He could take you all on with one hoof!"

''Damnit Rarity.'

"Well, I guess we'll have to find that out won't we!" and with that horribly ironic remark, the colt charged, leaving his friends behind.

The colt was going to ram him. He just ran straight at The Forgemaster, head lowered, aiming for his waist. As soon as the colt got close enough; The Forgemaster lifted his foot up and kicked the colt straight in the chin, sending him flying straight back into his 2 friends. The colt was stunned for a moment, and in that moment his friends decided to take the initiative… a pity they were as dumb as their downed friend. They slowly stalked up to him, one going left, the other right. They didn't seem to understand just how far his reach was and the fact that he had 2 arms. He reached out and picked them both up simultaneously around the throat, and then slammed their heads together in front with a sickening *CRACK*. He then threw the knocked out ponies into the original antagonist who had just regained his footing on the other side of the street. As they impacted he too was knocked out, ending the fight with victory for The Forgemaster. Forgemaster - 1, random opponents – 0.

He turned to notice the surprised look on Rarity's face. So he said something that he knew would cheer her up.

"I got blood on my coat. That's a shame, true artwork this is."

Rarity beamed at the comment, then frowned at the stain; it was small and would come out, but she was still saddened. They then walked side-by-side to Sugarcube Corner, where the party was.

Chapter 9

As The Forgemaster and Rarity walked through the streets of Ponyville, they didn't see another pony, other than those 3 colts, it was as if the town was deserted. The Forgemaster thought the lack of ponies had something to do with the celebration. As they arrived at Sugarcube Corner, he could hear whispers coming from inside and all the windows were blackened. So he spoke.

"Rarity, there are a lot of ponies inside, but they are quiet…. This is supposed to be a surprise celebration isn't it?"

"Well, yes, dear."

"They're awful at surprises."

She didn't respond to that and continued walking. As he stepped in front of the door to Sugarcube Corner he heard, "He's here!" from inside. Then he was struck with an idea; a mischievous idea. Before Rarity could open the door for him, he used his magic to transform. With his magic, he became Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, and then he made his clothes disappear with more magic, and stepped inside before Rarity could react.

As he entered, all the ponies in Ponyville screamed, "SURPRISE!", but then just went silent as they realized who they thought they were speaking to.

"What is the meaning of this?" Celestia asked, for she was at the back of the party, on a small raised dais.

He spoke, in a perfect Celestia impersonation, (Imponyation?),"My goodness! Who are you?"

All the other ponies in the room were silent in shock at the spectacle before them; 2 Princess Celestias, arguing, in front of them.

"Forgemaster, is that you? This is supposed to be a welcome party for you! Undo that spell and be sociable!" Celestia said.

"Forgemaster is the name of a human I encountered in the Everfree Forest; I am not he, as you can plainly see. However, I would know who you are!" the fake Celestia replied.

"I'm Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria! If you are really Princess Celestia than you would know the name of my sister!"

The Forgemaster knew he was beat. He had yet to access Celestia's memories and doing so know would be time-consuming and expose him. He was also unconscious when the smaller blue Nightmare Moon was introduced, who he assumed was her sister for they both had wings and horns, but no-pony else did. So he just did what any politician who was losing did: lie, lie, lie.

"I could ask the same of you! If you think yourself the true ruler of Equestria then you would know her name as well!"

"This is getting annoying Forgemaster, I know who you are! Just drop it. It's not funny anymore."

He had to agree with her there. It was getting rather tedious. Then he noticed Celestia's sister was giggling and holding her hoof to her face to stop herself. So he decided to take the ruse further still: he worked his magic and created a smoke field inside the confectionary, blinding all inside. Then he worked his magic once more before turning into Rainbow Dash!

As the smoke cleared, the ponies gasped; the 2nd Celestia had disappeared! After a few moments of searching high and low, it was determined through the yells of shocked ponies that, while there was only 1 Celestia now, there were in fact 2 Rainbow Dashes.

The Forgemaster decided to take the initiative this time by pointing and yelling, "Imposter!", at the real Rainbow Dash.

The entire crowd of ponies erupted into an uproar instantly. Half of the room was on his side, along with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. While the other half was on the Real Rainbow Dash's side, along with Applejack, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle. Both sides were yelling back and forth, trying to yell down the other and prove which the true imposter was. Celestia had to use magic to restore some semblance of order to the store.

She then turned to The Forgemaster, seeing him through his guise, and said, "Now look what you've done. Get out of Rainbow Dash's body, and mine, NOW!"

As it was a demand, not a request, of the highest authority in Equestria; he was compelled to agree. So he had his clothes reappear then his true self reappear. But, The Forgemaster did have a rarely noticed flair for the dramatic. As he was changing, he made smoke appear around him, blinding all to the sight of him until he stepped out of the smoke; a human once more. The ponies gasped at the sight of him; this giant had been the one to impersonate both their princess and Rainbow Dash?

Celestia spoke over the murmurs, "My little ponies, this is The Forgemaster. He isn't usually like this. He is usually silent; I had to struggle to get him to answer simple questions. Anyway, he is not from Equestria but I expect you to welcome him just as you would any other pony. He will be staying here in Ponyville until we can get something else for him set up. Now please, Forgemaster, I'm sure these ponies have questions. Please come up here and answer them."

The Forgemaster did so; he mounted the dais and was immediately assailed with questions, many from Twilight. He stood at the podium and put up his hand for silence… after that failed; he stomped the dais underneath him and caused a small earthquake. This immediately silenced everypony and allowed him to speak.

"I am The Forgemaster. I am human. I am a smith. I can use magic. I am immortal. Raise your hooves to ask questions. One at a time. No talking."

All the hooves in the audience raised one of their hooves. He looked behind him and even saw both Princesses doing the same. He pointed to somepony in the audience.

"What is your real name?"

"I refuse to answer." He pointed to another.

"Where are you from?"

"Everywhere." He pointed to another.

"What kinds of magic can you do?"

"All kinds." Then he noticed Twilight, jumping and flailing to get his attention, he pointed to her.

"How are you immortal?"

"Don't know, don't care. Curse anyway." He noticed Celestia's sister was also raising her hoof and pointed to her next.

"Do you want to go home?"

"I can't." He was about to point to the next pony when she called out to him once more.

"Why not?"

"I didn't come here willingly; I don't know how I can get back." Turning to the audience, he said, "Final question." He pointed to the last pony.

"Why did your personality change when you changed bodies?"

"The game."

With that, he stepped backwards into the shadows and stood there. He watched Celestia and her sister leave. He watched as the rest of the ponies began partying in earnest; drinking, eating, and dancing.

As he was watching, Pinkie Pie walked up to him with a drink and, handing the drink over, said, "Comeon! Let's party!"

He took the drink then took a sip. Then he said, "Interesting. Aged 6 years, daffodils and grass, tastes bad, 60 proof, I miss whiskey already." He turned to Pinkie Pie and yelled loudly, "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL OF THE DRINK!"

At this she smiled happily. He looked up to see that the entire mass of partygoers had stopped and were staring at him; the music had even stopped playing. He looked back to see Pinkie Pie sitting at a small table with 1 empty chair, 2 shot glasses, and several bottles of liqueur on the table.

She spoke, "You're on!"

*6 hours and 12 bottles later*

Pinkie Pie was just barely lifting the last shot to her lips when… she collapsed! This was the final round; if The Forgemaster could drink one more shot he was the champion! With no shaking, he calmly reached out; poured a shot, than drank it all in one go! As he did so, the entire room erupted in applause. The Forgemaster had beat Pinkie Pie at her own game! 97 shots to 96, with The Forgemaster winning! He stood up from the table, as steady as a rock, and looked at the ponies. Not one had left after the 20th shot, for that was the old record, and they all stayed to see the outcome. Everypony was staring in awe; nopony had ever beaten Pinkie Pie in any sort of party challenge! He sat down on the couch but spoke once more before falling asleep.

"Twilight, may I sleep here?" but fell unconscious before she could respond.

Chapter 10

He was on the couch fully asleep, but there was a part of his mind fully active: his memory. As he fell over on the couch, he unlocked Celestia's memories from the back of his mind and felt himself being cast adrift on a sea of memories and experiences. He would need time to sort through this and gain the information he needed. He saw everything of Celestia's history in her memories and subsequently, all of Equestrian history. He saw when she was born, when she was crowned princess, the Discord wars, when Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon; every item that Celestia had ever experienced, up to when she had tried to look through his mind, had been added to The Forgemaster's already extensive library. As he looked through the memories, he was astounded: Princess Celestia had done and gone through some astounding and harrowing things. He seemed to search for ages through the depths of her mind. She had lived many times what The Forgemaster had lived and had much more memories than he had expected. The more he looked; the more astounded he became, the more astounded he became; the more he felt a strange feeing about Celestia, but he couldn't place the feeling.

It hit him like a ton of bricks: He respected Princess Celestia! He had only respected a very few individuals throughout his long lifetime, and Princess Celestia was the only ruler he had ever come to feel this way about.

He had always been a loyal servant of the crown. Even though he had more power and influence in his right eyeball, he had followed his liege's commands as a true supporter would. But he had never enjoyed it, mostly because he had never respected those whom he had served under. In fact, he had lived so long under a single dynasty of kings and queens; that he had watched the men and women grow up from children to rulers who assumed the reins of his command. That family eventually came to see The Forgemaster as a possession and demeaned him. Tragically, the entire royal family was assassinated in one violent evening. While The Forgemaster had nothing to do with the deaths; he recognized the style of an old assassin order he was familiar with, and had partial responsibility in forming, but told no one who exactly it was who assassinated the royal family. He was a loyalist until death it seemed. After that, the new royal family treated him with the respect he undoubtedly deserved.

But Princess Celestia… a ruler that he both respected and a ruler who wouldn't outlive him? He could work for that kind of being. He was a king's man at heart, but there was hardly any difference between working for a king or queen and working for a princess. The kingdom of Azodious was far from his mind: as long as he had a ruler to be loyal to, he didn't care who it was. With that happy thought in his head, he turned back towards the memories and sleep.

*3 days later*

He woke up in a daze: sleeping for 3 days will do that to you. He recovered quickly, as per usual, and got his bearings. He was in a bed in a white room with curtains around him. He heard a beeping to his right and saw a monitor and an IV drip bag; he looked at his arm to see attached sensors and the IV. He looked under the covers to see: he was naked once more.

'Ugh, Twilight Sparkle…'

He tore the sensors off and immediately the beeping became frantic. A white pony in a nurse's uniform came hurrying, he recognized her from Celestia's memories; Nurse Redheart.

'Why does she know the name of the nurse in Ponyville? It's like she knows everything about Equestria.'

The Nurse spoke up, interrupting his thoughts, "Don't do that! You're acting like a colt. You've been in a coma for 3 days now; you can't just wake up and cause an alarm."

"Sorry."

"Well, you better be. We'll have to take a few more tests before we can discharge you. Anyways, after your welcome party you passed out. Obvious reason there: alcohol. Well, after the first day you didn't wake up, so Twilight brought you here. We put an IV in you and waited for you to wake up. And here we are 3 days later."

He knew the real reason he had slept so long was because of him accessing Celestia's memories, but telling that to anypony would be stupid of him. If he hadn't accessed the memories, he would've woken up the next day as fine as anypony else: hangover notwithstanding. So he just played along with the good nurse.

"Yes, the alcohol. Maybe grass and dandelions aren't good for me. Can Twilight Sparkle visit?"

"Yes, it's visiting hours now; I'll send somepony to get her."

"No need," he draped the sheet around his waist then dropped to his feet off the bed and walked to the open window. Once there he braced himself and yelled out in the loudest possible voice (A/N- Louder than the Traditional Canterlot voice), "TWILIGHT SPARKLE! YOUR PRESENCE IS REQUESTED IN THE HOSPTITAL!"

He turned back and got on the bed.

Nurse Redheart then said, "That works too, I suppose."

After 5 minutes of waiting, Twilight Sparkle came through the door.

"Forge-"she started.

"Twilight Sparkle, give me back my clothes. You won't learn about the runes."

She just looked shocked. He took this time to explain how he knew.

"Wondering how I know, hmm? It was obvious, really. Rarity undoubtedly told everypony who would listen about the clothes she had made for me. Obviously, she would have told you all about my runes and what I said they could do. Naturally, you were very curious about them, as everypony else was too, I wager. But you were the only pony whose curiosity could overcome their shame enough to steal the clothes off of a sleeping man. I also know that all your efforts to recreate my runes, which you have been working on through the night, have been futile."

"How did you know I couldn't get the runes I made to work? I copied the inscriptions perfectly!"

"The disappointed look in your eyes, the bags under them and your unkempt mane told me all I needed. I never would have thought you would be a copy cat magus Twilight Sparkle, I'm very disappointed in you."

"But, I was only curious!"

"And curiosity killed the cat, Twilight Sparkle!"

She didn't respond to this.

"Go get my clothes Twilight Sparkle, and bring them here."

She left to do so, head hanging in shame, and came back several minutes later with them. He stepped behind the curtain and got dressed. As he was behind the curtain, Twilight told him about recent happenings. Apparently, the younger Princess was so taken with him that she asked Celestia to build a home for him; free of charge. Apparently, she was very convincing because construction on his home started the day after they had left. His home was nearing completion but the forge out back was done. Also, Pinkie Pie was holed up in her room for 2 days after their duel, only coming out yesterday the same pony as ever. Rarity was going about the town telling anypony who would listen that The Forgemaster had protected her from 3 'ruffians that accosted her' on the street. He was also given a job by Princess Celestia and she wished to see him 2 days ago. Twilight told him that after the Princess had been informed of his condition, she could stand to wait until he was out of his coma. He had finished dressing behind the curtain and stepped out, interrupting her.

"So Pinkie Pie was hung-over, but got better, Rarity is lying a lot, Luna likes me, Celestia gave me a job, a home, and a forge, and you want to learn about my magic so badly you stepped to petty thievery?"

She was shocked from the sudden outburst, but nodded an affirmative.

"Good to know." He said, walking past her into the hallway, she following after a moment.

They entered the main lobby so that he could leave, when he noticed the same 3 colts from earlier in the lobby. They were being discharged by the nurse behind the desk. He knew where this was going to go: another fight. But a moment after he noticed them, the leader noticed him as well.

He pointed and shouted, "There he is! Get him!"

All 3 colts ran straight at him, hoping to overwhelm him with their numbers even though the same tactic failed last time. The Forgemaster didn't even want to dignify them with a real fight; so he chose the simpler option: MAGIC.

As they were running, only half way to their destination, he took a deep breath, brought one hand up to his mouth, cupped it around his lips, and then let out a bright, brilliant stream of fire straight at them from his mouth. The Leader's friends were smart enough to dodge then run away, but the Leader himself wasn't nearly as smart. He failed to see, somehow, the magical flame coming straight at him but he certainly noticed when he was completely engulfed in flame. Twilight Sparkle, merciful as she was, managed to put out the fire with some quick-thinking magic before he could be more than seriously singed. He WAS, however, in a lot of pain still and lay there shrieking.

The Forgemaster had won this 'fight', just as he won the first 'fight'. Forgemaster – 2 , Random Opponents – 0.

The Forgemaster stepped over the shrieking and blackened pony and walked out the door, Twilight behind him in a moment. As he stepped outside, he took in a deep breath then turned to Twilight.

He said to her, over the screams of pain from just inside the hospital, "This is such a wonderful day."

He strode towards town, not once looking back.

Chapter 11

Twilight Sparkle came running after him calling out, "Forgemaster, you can breathe fire?"

Still walking through town, he ignored the question, "Twilight Sparkle, in order to teach you the wrongness of thievery, you are no longer allowed to ask me questions about humans or magic."

"WHAT? Why?" Twilight was P.O.

"I already told you why, Twilight Sparkle."

"Ugh… fine. And you don't have to call me Twilight Sparkle; you can just call me Twilight."

"You were introduced to me, by you, as Twilight Sparkle, and that is what I will call you." He stopped his walking and turned to Twilight, "However, there is something you can do for me to remedy your punishment."

"What is it? I'll do anything!" Twilight's hopes soared.

"I need a quill, some ink, and several pieces of parchment. I need a gem. I also need food. I've been here for 4 days now and haven't eaten anything." The Forgemaster explained.

"Alright, the parchment and things for writing we can find at my house, the gem we'll find at Rarity's, and we can go for food pretty much anywhere." Twilight then smiled immensely, "Hey, I know! I can give you a tour of Ponyville while we collect your things!"

"That is acceptable. We will go to Rarity's first, the gem is very important."

With that, they set off to Rarity's Boutique. They walked through the main streets of Ponyville and through the market. As they were walking, Twilight never stopped asking him questions about humans and his magic.

He replied with, "Punishment starts immediately and lasts a month, Twilight Sparkle. Stop talking."

But they were still in the market. Twilight Sparkle looked around frantically, searching for something to alleviate at least one of his concerns: she thought that if she helped him a little now, he would answer some of her questions. She found relief in the form of Applejack and her stall. She took him over and bought him an Apple Fritter out of her own pocket. While they were still within Applejack's ear-shot, Twilight asked how it was. Applejack listened closely, eager to hear the praises of yet another satisfied customer. What she got, however, was far from what she expected, and angered her immensely.

He replied to Twilight's question with, "It's fine."

Shouts exploded from the stall they had just left, "Fine? FINE? That's all you think it was, fine? That's darn right the best Apple fritter in all Equestria!"

Twilight and The Forgemaster turned to see a very, VERY, irate Applejack.

The Forgemaster did not help smooth the situation over any when he said, "If I lied, you could tell if I was lying. If I wasn't lying before, than I would be doing so if I said anything else. I said it was fine, I meant it."

Applejack snorted steam and started pawing the ground.

He noticed this, with a very low and dark voice he said, "Applejack, your attitude and anger will be the death of you. One day, you will bite off more than you can chew and. You. Will. Fall."

She became even angrier at this and charged straight at him. He sighed; these ponies only seemed to run straight at him, no imagination in an attack. He just stood there as she charged. He wasn't even trying to get out of the way. As she reached him, she jumped up and aimed at his stomach with her head. She impacted, but it was like hitting a brick wall: even with all her strength, she hadn't driven the giant back an inch. He grabbed her as she was still in his stomach and lifted her till she was even with his head.

As he held her, he whispered to her, "This is why you fail." Then just dropped her on the ground and walked away.

Both Twilight and Applejack were confused. Applejack mostly because of what he had said and done. Twilight mostly because of the way he acted. Now they had to deal with the giant before he provoked any-pony else.

*Rarity's Boutique*

"…. And then I just dropped her and came straight here." The Forgemaster was saying to Rarity as they enjoyed tea and crumpets.

"Oh, that's just dreadful dear. I cannot believe that Applejack would just attack you on the street; it's most unbecoming of her. Though, knowing Applejack, that's the exact reaction I would expect. So why exactly did you come here, dear?"

"I wanted to borrow a gem, if you could spare any, it would be appreciated. I also wished to speak of a matter with you that related to business. I thought that you were a business-pony and I would appreciate your input."

"Oh, really?" she asked with a slight blush from the compliment, "Well, I suppose I could spare a gem or two, Spike helped me retrieve some gems yesterday, afternoon. But if you want my input, I'll need to know your idea." Rarity rummaged through a small pouch before handing over 2 gems to him.

"Thank you for your generosity, I'll pay you back as soon as I raise capital. I needed to know some things, too. First off, I would like your help in selling some of my precious metals from back home. Secondly, I need your opinion relating to an idea I had. But first some questions, I noticed that your shower is only one temperature; cold. Is that the case everywhere?"

"I would be glad to help you with the metals. With some of my contacts, I could probably get you top-dollar for the metals. And yes, dear, all ponies have to have room-temperature water in the shower, unless they are unicorns who heat the water with their magic."

"Interesting, so if I made a water tank with heating runes inscribed on them which heats the water inside… how much would a non-unicorn pony pay for that?"

"Oh my! What a simply fabulous idea! Ponies would probably pay 500 bits for 1 of them, well, that's what I would pay for one anyway."

"This is my proposal Rarity: In exchange for 20% of the profits I make from selling my warm water tanks, you supply me with metals and gems needed for construction. Sound like a deal?"

"Make it 30% and we'll call it even." She said, putting out a hoof.

"Deal." He said, shaking her hoof.

He stood and went to the door, as he opened it; he looked back and said, "It was nice meeting with you Rarity. I'll contact you soon with details on what I'll need to manufacture the tanks. Keep the metals in my bag and sell them for me, I'll let you keep half of what that brings in."

He walked away, and made for Twilight Sparkle's library. He arrived and was greeted at the door by a small, purple dragon. A dragon Celestia's memory identified as Spike, Twilight's assistant. He spoke first, without really looking at him.

"Sorry, Twilight's not here right now, she's off looking for the…" he noticed who The Forgemaster was now and trailed off.

"Yes, I know she's looking for me. I came by to pick up some stationery."

"Some what?" Spike stammered.

"Parchment, quills, ink… Stationery."

"Oh right… There's sure to be some lying around here, somewhere."

After a few minutes of looking Spike found what he needed.

"I can't pay for these, but I'll trade you." He held up one of his 2 gems.

"Okay, I'll trade, thank you!" he said through a mouth-full of crushed gem.

"Do you mind if I stayed here and wrote a letter?"

"That'll be fine, there's a table over there you can use." He pointed to a small table in the corner.

"Thank you."

He sat down at the table, and wrote one of the most important letters of his life. And so doing, happily signed away his loyalty to a Princess he only met once, but knew everything about.

The letter read thus:

Princess Celestia,

Twilight Sparkle told me of your offer of a job.

I gladly accept.

I, an immortal being, swear my undying loyalty to the royal family of Equestria.

I make this pact with my blood, so that the gods themselves might know its significance.

I will come to Canterlot soon to make this oath official, publicly.

But first; an admission.

When you looked through my mind,

I know you found nothing.

This was by my own work, and I apologize.

But I committed an even greater sin:

When you were in my mind, I was in yours.

To make up for this deceitful action,

I give you the enclosed gem,

Inside this gem, you will find all of my memories,

None of them barred, no matter the significance.

I hope this serves to inspire trust between us.

Congratulations.

Your undying servant,

The Forgemaster

He looked the writing twice over to look for mistakes and, finding none, put the gem he had been feeding his memories since he had gotten it into the scroll and rolled it up. It was at that moment that Twilight Sparkle and her friends came in through the door. He heard the last snippets of their conversation before they saw him.

"…. Could he have gotten off to?"

He stood with his scroll in one hand, grasping his coat with the other and said, "Twilight Sparkle, this letter is for the princess, please let Spike send it."

Rainbow Dash hung her head and muttered, "Told you, we should checked here first."

Applejack glared at him, but Twilight said, "How do you know Spike can send messages to the Princess?"

"I know a great many things, Twilight Sparkle. Now just let him send it."

She called Spike down and he handed the letter to Twilight. However, the second it came within range, she began to unfurl it and read.

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE! That message is private, fool! It seems everything you do makes me lower my opinion of you! In my homeland, interfering with royal postage is considered high treason and the perpetrator is executed! I do not want to have to do that now so stop reading things that don't belong to you!" The Forgemaster practically thundered at the curious equine.

He immediately ran over to her, while she stood there, shocked at his fury, he took the letter from her, picked the gem off of the floor and fix the letter and its contents to the way they were before.

He handed the letter to Spike and said in the most threatening voice he could muster without shouting, "Send it."

And he did so, without a moment's hesitation.

The Forgemaster glared at Twilight and proceeded to take her apart, piece-by-piece. "Twilight Sparkle, since I met you 4 days ago you have stolen my clothes, attempted to steal the techniques I have developed over many decades of research, and now you read my private correspondence. Is there no end to your foolishness? I've met children with more sense than you! I had an apprentice like you once, brilliant man, but had no common social graces. One day he went to the local inn and accidentally insulted a traveler. Long story short, he can't speak anymore and neither does he enjoy food, mostly due to lack of a tongue. Do you understand me Twilight Sparkle? Am I as clear as I can possibly be?" He shouted the last few sentences.

By the end of his tirade, Twilight Sparkle was on the floor in front of him with her head in her knees, trembling.

He just glared at her and left, stepping over 5 very shocked ponies.

He left to find his new forge and, hopefully, peace.

Chapter 12

The Forgemaster managed to find his new home in no time at all. All he had to do was follow the sounds of construction, as though that were somehow difficult. His home was HUGE by pony standards, to accommodate his size no doubt, and was located on the very edge of town. There were several construction ponies out front that were cutting wood and fitting it into a door frame.

He spoke up over the noise, "May I go inside?"

A supervisor pony looked over to him and said, "You're the guy we're building this for? I imagine so; you fit the Princess' description. Yes, you can go in, just try not to interfere with the workers."

The Forgemaster nodded and entered his new home. His home was built with a central, circular living room, with all other rooms connecting to it through a series of hallways. The more he looked the more he recognized the construction techniques of his old workshop. Apparently, Celestia had seen enough from the memories he allowed her to see to memorize some patterns and relay the information to the workers. His home wasn't finished yet so neither was it furnished. He was informed by the helpful supervisor that the Princess had given him 10000 bits to start furnishing his home.

When asked whether or not 10000 bits was a lot, the supervisor replied with, "I supervise construction projects all across Equestria and I only make about 6000 bits a year. 10000 bits will furnish this home with a lot left over. Probably enough to buy a smaller house and furnish that one on top of this one."

The Forgemaster nodded and continued exploring his new home, with the supervisor pony right behind him. Once he had familiarized himself with the layout, he inquired as to where his new forge was. He was directed out back and there found his new forge. It was old-fashioned, just like the one he had trained himself on. It was in the backyard and was on a stone floor. The Forgemaster looked around and liked what he saw: fully stocked with metals, all necessary parts properly installed, but no privacy.

He turned to the supervisor and asked, "Could you put up a privacy fence for me, please?"

The supervisor said, "Sure! But, we're doing this on the crown's expense and I don't want to get in trouble: we're close to budget as is! If you pay me 50 bits out of that 10000, I'll get the boys to add your fence on their own time."

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

The supervisor pony then left.

He walked over to the forge and inspected it. He admired its construction and knew that the forge would work just fine for what he is going to forge on it. He also realized he was not alone.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie." He said.

She gasped, "Aww, how'd you know I was there? I mean everypony else never sees me until I'm right next to them! And then they notice me and they say, 'Oh Celestia Pinkie, you scared me.' Then the pony next to them always says, 'Don't worry, that's just Pinkie being Pinkie.'! I mean that happens almost every time and it never changes! You'd think they would begin to expect it but nopony ever does! Why don't I scare you like the other ponies?"

"Because, your unpredictability is predictable." He replied

"WHAT!"

"I've met people like you before, and I find that the simplest way to deal with them is to expect what they will not do and then they do it. It's actually quite a relief to know of another 'Physica Princeps' as they were known."

"A Physics Ruler? What's that?"

"That's what you are Pinkie Pie. " He said, not batting an eyelash at her knowledge of a human language," I've found doing it myself to be quite difficult but not impossible. However, it takes to much energy for me to do it properly. That's why those naturally gifted with the ability are often extremely hyper-active."

She paused a moment, "So you can do it too?"

"I try not to though. The risks involved could shatter the world."

She nodded solemnly, knowing exactly what he meant, and then spoke, "Why were you such a meanie head to Twilight?"

"She made careless mistakes. Where I'm from, careless mistakes kill you. She is just an overly-curious individual who never has a back-up plan."

"WHAT! Twilight, without a back-up plan? That's impossible; Twilight has a back-up plan for anything that might happen."

"Exactly! And when something that shouldn't happen or something she can't explain happens, she shuts down. She had no way to respond to changing scenarios that fall outside the norm. Ugh… there would be no way for her to respond to the Inquisition."

"Because…." Pinkie Pie prompted, her hope soaring.

"Nobody expects the Inquisition!" both yelled at the same time, Pinkie Pie replacing 'Nobody' with 'Nopony'.

"You know Pinkie Pie, despite all your friends' faults; I think it might actually be enjoyable here."

He looked up to see that Pinkie Pie had vanished; he just shook his head at her antics.

Well, here he was: alone, at a fully stocked forge, with nothing but time.

There's only one thing to do!

Chapter 13

The Forgemaster looked down at the forge in front of him. He had gathered all the necessary materials and was ready to forge. As always, he wondered what exactly he should forge. A million possibilities floated through his mind, until he saw an appealing one and wrenched it from the depths of his mind. It was his personal sword, the one that had been by his side since before he could remember. Now, The Forgemaster had a very long memory but over the centuries, parts disappear and the past starts to blend together. But no matter how far back he went, this particular sword was there.

This sword's name: War, Eternal

Anything he forges for his own personal use seems to be named with some sort of time in it. Whether it be his shield; Bulwark of the Ages, or his breastplate; Endless Vigilance, everything had a name associated with time. That's hardly The Forgemaster's fault, however, as he let the things he forges name themselves.

But that was far from The Forgemaster's mind now. He only saw the metal, and what he wanted out of it. He heated the metals he needed and prepared them for forging. He readied his hammer, he readied his body, he readied his forge.

Anyone listening in would have felt a very low throb in the air. After a few minutes, a vibration also set in. They would also have heard the clanging of metal-on-metal emanating from the backyard of his home. He had done the same back in his old land, and he will do the same in Equestria. No one in his homeland knew what made this noise, some thought that they could make out words; but all just assumed it was all part of The Forgemaster's mastery of smithing.

And they were right.

But they had no clue just how far his devotion to forging went. Because he wasn't just making a noise or speaking to himself as he was forging:

He was Singing.

*5 hours later*

The Forgemaster was done with his creation: just as it was from his memories. War, Eternal was once more of this world, and it was back in his master's hands. It had taken 5 hours, 12 ingots of high-quality steel, and a small bucket-load of gems for runes, but he was done and happier than he had a right to be.

War, Eternal was the perfect weapon for The Forgemaster. It was too short to be a 2 handed sword, but too long to be held in one hand easily. But The Forgemaster used it interchangeably between the 2 styles. When he used it as a 2-hander, he could swing and recover far faster because of the shorter blade. When he held it with one hand, the enemy didn't register the added length to his sword and got within his reach unprepared. With the runes added it was nigh invulnerable to breaking and could cut through diamond. His claws may have been a master-work of engineering, but his blade was his true companion. The original, unfortunately, was back in his workshop in Azodious. But that didn't trouble The Forgemaster in the slightest, reproduction or no, it was still made up to the same high standards of The Forgemaster. It may as well have been the same sword.

His task complete, and his boredom cured, The Forgemaster now had to get ready to visit Princess Celestia. Well, he didn't actually have to prepare anything. He only had this one outfit, he had no baggage or travelling gear, and no money. In fact, his only personal possessions were the things he now wore and his newly-formed sword. So he just left towards Canterlot, a scant 3 hour walk away, if Celestia's memory served. He left without telling a single soul where he was going, but that didn't mean no-pony saw him leave. He had just stepped onto the correct path out of Ponyville when he heard a very loud call from behind him.

(A/N- Curse chronology! No one knows how long goes on in between episode! Introducing newly formed CMC, assumed to have formed yesterday.)

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS- HUMAN OBSERVERS!"

The Forgemaster was nearly bowled over when 3 tiny fillies ran into him from behind. He managed to not lose his footing, however. So he just picked up the closest filly, an orange Pegasus, and lifted her to his face.

"Hmm… no you are too small! Go back to your families."

"No! We're observing you!" the Pegasus said with determination in her eye.

"Tiny one! I do not need observing. Go home."

"But Twilight said we had to!"

"Why is it that Twilight Sparkle insists on interfering with my business?"

The small, familiar looking, unicorn spoke up and very eloquently asked, "Huh?"

"Ever since I have arrived in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle has been getting on my nerves; she even tried to look through my mail. Now go home tiny creatures."

The Earth pony spoke up, with a very familiar accent, "Do we have to?"

"Yes, little one. I am going to Canterlot, you cannot follow me there."

With a chorus of "A'www's" the 3 young fillies left The Forgemaster and walked back to town. He looked back at them with… something… in his eyes, but then continued on his journey to the capital city of Equestria.

*Canterlot*

As The Forgemaster entered the city of Canterlot, he did not like what he saw. He looked about and saw nothing but rich noble-ponies and their servants. It infuriated him to no end. He positively despised nobles. He had only ever met a handful he would consider acceptable to dine with swine. The looks these ponies were giving him only made him angrier. However, he managed to restrain his anger as he walked through the city. He was almost there when the inevitable happened. All the way there the ponies had been talking about him: judging him like he wasn't present, but the straw that broke the camel's back came in the form of a flippant comment. He had managed to avoid murdering these obnoxious ponies, but this particular stallion made a remark that he would regret for the rest of his life: He insulted War, Eternal.

The obnoxious unicorn had said this, "Ugh, his clothes may be bad but that sword! Unforgivable."

That was the pony's last sentence, and subsequently his last words, before his voice was replaced with screaming.

The Forgemaster acted quickly, he pulled the stallion's cloak over his head then kicked in his front leg. Crippled, the pony couldn't flee when The Forgemaster kicked him down the hill, slowly gaining momentum as he rolled along the street. He almost made it out of the city at an impressive speed had there not been one obstacle: The City Gate. With a *Clang!*that would reverberate throughout the entire city, the stallion impacted the gate, denting it.

When the ponies looked back at the creature that had done this… he was gone.

The Forgemaster boldly walked up to the entrance to the castle of the Princesses. He noticed the guards, and they him. The Forgemaster had been alive a very long time, and it was always rare to see such discipline, but he knew exactly what these guards were thinking. Regardless of how well trained someone or somepony is, many things still appear in your eyes. He walked up to the doorway they were guarding and didn't acknowledge them, he came within a step of where they were when he noticed the muscles on their sides tense up.

So he said, "I can practically feel the hostility here. You're not going to let me pass, are you?"

Though they didn't respond with words, he saw everything on their minds: surprise, anger, just a hint of fear, them wondering how he knew and who he was.

"Perhaps Princess Celestia had not given you a description, she wanted to meet me, I am The Forgemaster."

They still didn't respond with words, but he noticed their eyes expanded just a bit at the familiar name.

"I can tell by your reactions that you were informed of me, I'll enter now." And he walked right in, but not before utter surprise rolled across the guard on his left's face for just an instant.

He walked past laughing.

There was only the hallway to follow; it didn't branch off at all. So he just kept going forward until he came to be in a very large, very regal throne room, with an equally regal Princess Celestia sitting on the throne on the other side. He was noticed immediately.

"Forgemaster! I received you message and I was very troubled about what you had done. But after giving it some thought, and going through your memories, I decided that it was fine. How better to start off a healthy working relationship than to know everything about each other?" It seems the Princess was in a positively bubbly mood.

She continued, "But I have some questions. First, your name wasn't in this gem. And large sections of your memories are gone. Care to explain that?"

"Of course, my lord. Around 500 years ago I cracked under the pressure of being immortal, I recovered from my insanity several years later but I had forgotten much about my past due to it. My name was part of the memories I didn't manage to recover."

"Oh, maybe that was the large blank spot, the others I assume were due to the insanity but the memories in between were ones you recovered?", he nodded, "Interesting, but understandable. It can be difficult; being immortal." She sighed, he sighed too.

"Watching your friends grow old, while you stay the same." He said.

"Succumbing to loneliness because no-pony can possibly understand."

"Never finding your true love."

"The pressure of having every-pony look to you for guidance."

"Never having a family because they would just grow old while you watch."

"The knowledge of a lifetime, with no-pony to grasp it."

"The fear that Satan has something truly horrifying in store for you, if you do die."

"I don't understand that one."

"You should, you have my mind in that tiny stone right there."

"Yes, but I haven't looked through the whole thing yet. It's surprisingly organized… like a library, with sections and sub-categories. That's strange for a mind, you know. Most ponies have unorganized rabble for brains."

"Yes, I get the feeling. Those 6 'Elements of Harmony' are not what I would expect from a kingdom's heroes. I mean, they have all of the stereotypical fatal flaws but no one to guide them."

The room was empty of conversation for a moment before he continued.

"I am here for a reason Celestia. If you would allow me to continue…"

"Go ahead, Forgemaster."

She was not ready for what came next.

He raised War, Eternal parallel to the ground, and then lifted his palm to lie on top of it.

He then spoke, "Princess Celestia, with you as my witness, I hereby bind myself to the royal family of Equestria, to serve Equestria until my heart ceases, my mind stops, and my senses die."

He cut a diagonal cut across his palm with War, Eternal, then he held his hand out towards Celestia, palm down, a stream of blood dripping from the wound to the floor. Celestia gasped at the sight.

"With my blood I make this pact. So long as it flows within my heart I shall serve in whatever capacity that is required. I will remain loyal to the crown, and until this undying body does so: I shall serve. I make this pact in the eyes of all the gods, known and unknown, good and evil, alive and dead, worshipped and feared. Know that this blood-binding oath is unceasing and eternal."

As soon as he said 'Eternal' there was a bright flash that came from none of the occupants of the room. When it was gone, The Forgemaster's hand was healed, and the bloody floor was clean.

The Forgemaster suddenly grinned and yelled, "THE PACT IS ACCEPTED!"

Chapter 14

The Forgemaster and Celestia talked for the rest of the day. They spoke together about many things. From current events in Equestria to strange memories that one or the other didn't understand. The Forgemaster learned that his new job gave him 10000 bits a year as his salary, he was equivalent to a general in her army, and that his job revolved around helping the 'Elements of Harmony' and protecting them while they learned about their roles. Celestia learned more about his past, the world he was from, and the benefits of an immortal servant. Everything was going along fine, both sides learning what their memories didn't show, until The Forgemaster made a request.

"My liege, I request permission to study Princess Lunacae."

"Study? I'm afraid I don't understand, Forgemaster." Celestia said with just a hint of a blush.

"I wish to present a gift, my lord, to the royal family. In order to better make said gift, I need to know Princess Lunacae's personality."

"Oh! I'm sure Luna wouldn't mind. She prefers Luna, by the way. It wouldn't be very good for first impressions if you use her full name; she is mortified by it."

"Actually, she has been listening to us from behind that door over there." He was pointing to the door past Celestia's throne.

As he pointed, a small gasp was heard from behind the door he indicated. Then a louder noise was heard, along with a flash of light from the door. The Forgemaster altered his aim until it rested pointing at the door next to the one he previously indicated.

"Princess Luna is behind that door now."

Another noise, another flash, another slight altering of his pointing direction.

"That one, now."

He went over to the door and opened it: revealing a very embarrassed dark blue princess inside of a dark janitorial closet.

"Hello Princess Luna. It's nice to meet you."

She was blushing furiously now.

"Oh…. Hello, I'm sorry for listening in on your conversation." She said, quiet as a mouse.

"It's fine, my liege; I live to serve!"

Suddenly, Celestia spoke up, "Well, Forgemaster, you wanted time to spend with Luna. Here's your chance."

Princess Luna looked at The Forgemaster with shock and a very red blush.

So he explained, "I wanted to give you 2 gifts."

She nodded, understanding.

He spent the next several days with Princess Luna before Celestia told him he had to go back to Ponyville to oversee his charges. When he had left, he knew he could make adequate gifts for his rulers. He knew Celestia's personality because he went looking through her mind, and he knew Luna's personality because the entire time he was at the castle, she didn't let him leave her side. He was in Princess Luna's company almost the entire time he stayed there.

In one of his free moments away from Luna he asked Celestia, "Why won't she let me go?"

With a 'are-you-serious- face, she replied, "Are you really that oblivious, or do you not understand ponies?"

He didn't know how to respond to that, but was saved the embarrassment when a letter arrived. It appeared in front of Celestia in a poof.

"Ah! I have a letter from my student, Twilight Sparkle." She said. He grumbled but didn't say anything.

"'Dear, Princess Celestia,'" Celestia was reading the letter aloud, "'The Forgemaster has vanished! We have looked everywhere but can't find him. 3 fillies came forward saying he has left for Canterlot, you should start looking for him there.'" Celestia giggled, "It looks like she worried about you."

"No she's not." Celestia gave The Forgemaster an angry look, and then continued.

"'If you should find him, know that I haven't made a very good impression on him. Several things went wrong with our meetings when he woke up, but I won't bore you with details. In fact, he doesn't seem to like any-pony. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.'" Celestia sighed, and then said, "What happened?"

"Twilight Sparkle stole things from me, tried to steal my magic, and then tried to read the letter I sent to you. I found it to be childish and inappropriate. I told her so, in no uncertain terms, what I thought of her. However, her assessment that I don't like any-pony is wrong as I've only had interactions with you and those 6. And Princess Luna, now."

"Ugh, fine. Deal with it when you get back. It's your job to look out for those 6, it will be easier if you lot are friends."

"They can't be my friends, Celestia."

She was about to respond to this rather brazen remark when Luna called out for The Forgemaster from another room. The Forgemaster quickly used the opportunity to escape.

His time with Luna was a learning experience for all involved. She asked him many questions about him, his kingdom, and especially his smithing. He replied with all the honesty and the entirety he could muster. When he started to talk about how he sang when he forges, she stopped him.

"Wait, you mean you sing when you forge? How does that work?"

"If you use heat and enough pressure, you can mold metal into any shape you want. But once the metal is in that shape, the only intent comes from the user. It's difficult to explain. I sing to my metals so that the metal can hear me, and know its purpose. This is where other smiths fail, they don't sing to their metal, so the metal doesn't know what to do. The metal can't help if it doesn't know what to do!" he trailed off, lost in his thoughts.

"I'm still not understanding, Forgemaster."

"When I sing, the metal knows what it is going to be, and rejoices in it. When it finally is shaped, it actively assists the user in the manner I told it to, if the metal isn't sang to, then it doesn't know its purpose, if it doesn't know its purpose, then it cannot help!"

"I think I'm starting to understand, but it's still confusing." She said.

"I know, and I'm doing my best to explain."

After a pause, she said, "What kind of songs are there?"

"All kinds of songs. There are songs of the sword, song of the mace, song of the hammer, there is even a song of the bucket! Some songs aren't worth knowing, to tell you the truth. I mean, what use is the song of the nail? Then, of course, there are the ballads."

"Ballads?" she asked.

"Yes, ballads. If you wish to have a sword or a hammer with the spirit of a weapon from ancient times past, you must sing the ballad of that weapon. For instance, to make my sword here, I couldn't just go and get the original. No, the original was lost at Thermopylae, but I wanted the blade here, now. So I sang a ballad of all my swords past achievements while I was forging the sword, the spirit of the metal thought it had done these things that I told it, so it assumed the guise of the weapon. The original and this sword here are now one and the same."

"That is a fantastical story, and I don't think I can believe it."

"Yes, I know. The other humans I told thought I was mad. To them I was saying, 'Metal has a spirit and it's just as alive as you or me'! Bloody fools: I'm glad they're all dead."

But the day came when he had to leave. Celestia generously provided a carriage and he was back in Ponyville within the hour. He noticed that Luna and Celestia were watching his departure from a balcony, and Princess Luna looked sad. Never one to leave any woman upset, The Forgemaster waved as he flew past, Luna immediately perked up and waved back.

The Forgemaster landed in Ponyville early in the morning, for he left before the sun had risen. Once at his home, the pegasi guards quickly left to go back to Canterlot; leaving him there with an empty home and 9950 bits in his bag. The fence he had requested out back was done; however, his house was still unfurnished. All that day he spent getting his home furnished. Not once encountering the 6 'Elements'.

'Finally,' he thought,' some peace and quiet.'

Chapter 15

The Forgemaster was sitting outside of his home, with what appeared to be a multitude of small stones around him. Upon a closer examination; they are revealed to be many small pieces of metal, on which strange glyphs were etched into. In a word: runes. The Forgemaster had worked throughout the night etching out these runes and now he was part-way through the arduous task of actually attaching them to the walls of his home. Inside and out, the runes coated his home, providing a large amount of magical protection from fires, magic, blunt objects, and, apparently, Rainbow Dash.

"AHHH!"

*CRASH*

"Rainbow Dash, what a nice day isn't it? I hope you know that the wall will always win."

The blue pegasus' only responses are moans.

"I suppose you're hurt. Moan again if you are in pain."

More moans.

"Alright, wait one."

The Forgemaster held his hand out from where he was working, not even bothering to neither look nor stop his task. A mellow, yellow light slowly slithered out from his palm and into Rainbow Dash. With a slight sizzling sound, Rainbow Dash's wounds were healed. She quickly stood from her previous position and, with a grin, turned to The Forgemaster.

"What in the hay was that?"

"Magic." Her grin grew wider.

"I bet Twilight would love to get her hooves on that kind of magic!"

"I'm sure she would. However, she is on double-secret probation and cannot ask me anything about magic for a month." Her grin grew wider still.

"Really!"

"Yes, of course." She burst out laughing.

"Ohmicelestia! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! I bet she's going crazy that she doesn't know something and it's sitting right in front of her!"

"Oh, I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe horribly obsessive and mildly creepy."

"What? Why?"

He cocked a thumb over his shoulder, "'Cause she's in those bushes over there."

Rainbow Dash looks, and sure enough there is a small purple horn sticking out of the bushes across the street. Rainbow Dash burst out laughing once more.

"How'd you even know that?"

"She was loud; I could hear her from my bedroom when she set up earlier this morning. I can smell her, we're downwind of her. Also, I could feel the vibrations of her constant shifting in my backside. That's not even to mention that I saw her horn sticking out."

Rainbow's eyes grew wider and wider as he spoke. She looked across the street towards the bushes and noticed that Twilight's horn was gone! Evidently she had heard The Forgemaster's speech too. Rainbow looked at The Forgemaster with awe in her eyes.

"She left when I said I could hear her."

"What are you? No-pony I know could do that!"

"I'm not a pony, tiny creature. And you don't become an apex predator by having dull senses."

"Who you callin' tiny?" Rainbow put her chest up.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to insult you, if it makes you feel any better: you're actually quite fat." He said with a straight face.

"WHAT! Alright, that's it! Put 'em up, them's fightin' words!"

Rainbow Dash started to hover with her wings and punched the air in front of her with her hooves.

"Rainbow Dash! I knew you were impulsive, but actually starting a fight because of sarcasm is just a bit much, dear." A rather posh voice said from up the street.

The Forgemaster and Rainbow Dash turned to see…. Rarity.

"Honestly, Rainbow Dash! You know The Forgemaster would win, why would you try to fight him? But, that's not why I'm here; Twilight has invited us to a slumber party!"

"A slumber party?" both said in response, The Forgemaster questioning, Rainbow Dash in excitement.

"Yes, and you're both invited. It was rather sudden I'll admit. Twilight passed me on the street not 30 seconds ago and told me. She also told me to invite you 2 and that you were over here."

"It seems that Twilight Sparkle has a plan to coerce me into spilling my secrets." The Forgemaster said.

"What makes yah say that?" said Rainbow Dash

"You ponies have a game… what's it called? Truth or Dare? Well, Twilight Sparkle is likely going to use that to get me to answer all the questions she desires. It fits her personality; try everything you can before actually confronting the problem on your own. It will be fun manipulating her, I'll be there. And Rarity, I'll have a working prototype of the water tank by the end of today, I might even bring it to the slumber party."

Rarity and Rainbow Dash raised their brow at this, but didn't question him. They left him to his work to pursue their own business elsewhere in the town. He managed to finish his work in several hours. By the end, his home looked like a dragon with overlapping scales. That all changed when he fired a spell at his home. As the spell struck, his home returned to its pre-rune form, the runes turning invisible. After that, he had about 3 hours until Twilight's slumber party was scheduled and he made good use of his time. He managed to complete his hot water tank prototype a half-hour before the party started. He set about getting ready for the party; he had a feeling that it would either be great fun, or an awful period of non-stop questions.

The Forgemaster had just arrived at Twilight's home. As he entered, he noticed the party already set up. Every-pony was there except for Rainbow Dash, and she would undoubtedly be just barely in time. It seemed to be a hobby of hers: doing things in 10 seconds flat. Sure enough, just before the clock struck 9 o'clock, Rainbow Dash rushed in. Then, the instant the clock struck 9 o'clock, Twilight Sparkle started the party. As The Forgemaster expected, Twilight opened with: Truth or Dare!

"Alright every-pony, welcome to my slumber party! I think what we should start off with should be…"

"Truth or Dare!" The Forgemaster and Twilight said at the same time.

Rainbow Dash immediately started rolling on the floor laughing, clutching her sides in pain. Rarity gave a polite, though limited, chuckle. The other ponies just looked at them confused.

The Forgemaster explained, "Twilight Sparkle, using a party game to ask me questions is undeniably sneaky and underhanded. I didn't think you had it in you. It would have worked too, if it had not been for me knowing what I know. Though I suppose these other ponies won't take kindly to having a party thrown for your own selfish reasons, not to just have a good time with your friends."

All the ponies that weren't laughing looked at Twilight, who immediately blushed and tried to cover herself by saying, "That's not why I invited you all to this party!"

"Then why did you start with Truth or Dare? It was my understanding that the game is played last, before sleep." declared The Forgemaster.

Twilight looked down, too embarrassed to meet the gazes of her friends.

"Twilight Sparkle, I'm disappointed in you. You didn't even try a simpler plan, like, I don't know, asking me about it?" She didn't lift her head from its position, "Twilight Sparkle, I believe I've had enough fun with you. If we would continue with the game, perhaps?"

A circle of pillows was quickly assembled, several for the Forgemaster and every-pony else getting one.

They had a long night ahead of them; the entire planned party time was devoted to Truth or Dare…

Chapter 16

"So, who is going first?" asked The Forgemaster, Twilight immediately raised her hoof.

"Fine, Twilight Sparkle, you may go first, but know that I have 9738 queries for Truths and 3682 Dares. These are arranged on a scale of 1 to 10 of difficulty, embarrassment, and awkwardness. Depending on what you do first determines how bad the rest of the night will go for you."

Twilight gulped, then asked, "Forgemaster, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"What is your real name?"

"I don't know."

"What! How can you not know your name?"

"Twilight Sparkle, it's not your turn. If you wish to ask you must wait until your next turn."

He turned to Rainbow Dash as Twilight grumbled, "Rainbow Dash, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to pour your drink over Twilight Sparkle's head."

"HAH! OKAY!" Rainbow does so, despite the pleading from Twilight. A very soaked Twilight now occupies her cushion, grumbling.

"Alright, my turn!" Rainbow looks around, then locks in on her target, "Applejack! Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to get a make-over from Rarity!"

Applejack angrily allows the squealing unicorn to 'fix' her mane and tail. "Hmmm, Twilight! Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." Came the lavender unicorn's response.

"What do you think of The Forgemaster?"

She stole a glance at him, before saying, "He is more stubborn than a rock and twice as smart!"

All the ponies giggled at the lame attempt at an insult towards The Forgemaster.

"Alright, Forgemaster. Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Why can't you tell us your name?"

The Forgemaster grinned, "I cannot tell you my name because I don't know it! Next time, phrase your question better!"

Twilight face-hoofed while all the other ponies were now laughing out loud, not even bothering to hold back their laughs.

"My turn! Due to the sensitive nature of your questioning, Twilight Sparkle, I have decided to use all my pre-prepared questions and dares against you! Verily, I ask you: Truth or dare, Twilight Sparkle?"

"Truth!" came the suddenly nervous unicorn's response.

The Forgemaster had a slight, sly smile on his face as he asked, "Twilight Sparkle, what is the nature of your sexual orientation?"

"WHAT!" said everypony in the room.

"It was a valid question, Twilight Sparkle. By the rules of the game; if you refuse to answer, you lose and cannot participate further."

All the ponies looked between both The Forgemaster and Twilight, as they just looked at each other. The Forgemaster with that same grin on his face. Twilight with a glare and a look that could kill. Technically, The Forgemaster was right: if Twilight didn't answer, she couldn't ask any of her questions until her punishment ended.

"21 days, 8 hours, 53 minutes, 27 seconds, Twilight Sparkle." Said The Forgemaster, apparently knowing what Twilight was thinking.

"Ugh! Fine, I guess I like….. stallions?" Twilight hesitantly replied.

"I don't know Twilight Sparkle, do you?"

"Yes!"

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, I like stallions!"

"You know Twilight Sparkle, lying is also against the rules."

"I'm NOT lying!"

"Then what's this?" his hand glowed with a silver light and Twilight's room's door opened. As the ponies watched, a small magazine came through the door and was drifting through the air towards The Forgemaster. Twilight's face instantly lit up with horror and embarrassment when she saw the magazine. She knew that there was only one solution.

She immediately yelled, "I like mares, too!"

As soon as she said that, The Forgemaster reversed his spell and put the magazine back under Twilight's bed and closed the door. All of the ponies were looking at Twilight now. All of them were grinning.

The Forgemaster spoke first, "You know Twilight Sparkle, it's never a good thing to hide things like this from your friends. Someone is bound to find out eventually and reveal your dirty, little secret. But that day is not this day; I'm sure your friends opinions about you haven't changed at all. In fact, some of your friends may like you just a little bit more, if you know what I mean."

Twilight's horribly embarrassed face slowly began to fade as all of her friends spoke up in support of her life choices. By the time she was over her embarrassment, she was grinning more than the day she became Celestia' student. The Forgemaster grinned at the moment in front of him, it was almost too sweet.

So he said, "Twilight Sparkle, I believe it's your turn."

The game went on for several more hours, until the party was over at the appointed sleeping time of midnight. Although he wanted to go home, the ponies begged The Forgemaster not to go home. So he stayed the night with the ponies. He slept in the middle of the floor on a small bed Twilight had managed to create out of nearly all the blankets in her home. The rest of the ponies had slept on their cushions, even Twilight. He gazed out at the sleeping forms of the tiny ponies, and smiled. The game had progressed smoothly after his question, although he always had the upper hand (Hoof?) when it came to the game. Several shocking secrets about the ponies and The Forgemaster were revealed. For instance; The Forgemaster is many centuries old, he fought alongside his battle-brothers at the Last Stand at Thermopylae and was the only survivor, he may or may not be worshiped as a god amongst some primitive tribesmen from his old lands, he is responsible for nearly all the technological advancements of his people and he worries over their continued progression, and he genuinely doesn't hate Twilight. The ponies had some secrets of their own; Pinkie Pie is actually a special type of creature only she and The Forgemaster know about, Rainbow is also bi-sexual, Rarity is not the lady she always appears to be, Fluttershy is shy around ponies because she was bullied as a filly, (A/N- Damn them straight to hell! I'll probably have The Forgemaster slaughter those bullies from flight camp!), and Applejack still hates him over his comments about her food.

The Forgemaster was content in this land. He doesn't even want to go back to his old land anymore! But, he was still concerned over Princess Luna. What did Celestia mean? What is up with Princess Luna? Why does she act so strangely around him?

With these thoughts in his head, The Forgemaster drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 17

(A/N- Screw Chronology once more! Introducing Zecora.)

When The Forgemaster awoke from his slumber: he was surprised to say the least. He awoke on the bed that was made for him last night, but something was different. It felt like there was a weight on his arms, legs, and chest and he couldn't move! He opened his eyes to see a rainbow-colored object clouding his vision. He twitched his face and blew air until he got the thing off of him. As it did, he noticed what the thing was; it was Rainbow Dash's mane!

He moved his head around to see better and found Rarity on his left arm, Pinkie Pie on his arm, Rainbow Dash on his chest, Twilight over his stomach, and the weights on his legs must be Applejack and Fluttershy. Apparently, during the night, the ponies had gotten off of their cushions and found him to be a suitable replacement. All of them! Fortunately, the ponies had yet to notice the morning-wood creating a tent in his pants. The Forgemaster had the thought that waking them up might be considered rude, so he settled himself in for the long haul. He managed to stay still for about a half-hour before he was forced into waking them. In Rainbow Dash's mid-sleep movements; she accidently rolled over onto The Forgemaster's neck and was choking him. He could have endured that for a while, but a new torture set in: Rainbow Dash's mane! As she moved about, unconsciously trying to find a comfortable spot on his neck, she brushed his face with her soft mane, causing The Forgemaster to be tickled! With a combination of being tickled and having difficulty to breath, he felt the need to do something to stop this unintended torture: so he bit Rainbow Dash on the ear.

With a yelp that would probably have woken up all the ponies in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash announced her displeasure. The Forgemaster felt all of the other ponies pinning him to the floor jolt awake and get off of him as fast as they could. Rainbow Dash immediately dashed above him, hovering there and glaring at him.

With the most innocent voice he could muster, the Forgemaster said to the irate pegasus, "What?"

"What do you mean, 'What'! You know what you did! You bit me in your sleep!"

"I was dreaming about a winter wonderland filled with cupcakes and lollipops… I just had to take a bite."

"You liar!"

"Fine, you caught me. I was awake and noticed you were all on me, and I wanted to get up."

Rainbow Dash was extremely upset with this explanation, "So you bit me!"

"Yes."

"Couldn't you have tries something else first? Like, I don't know, poking me!"

"Yes, but I wanted to know what you tasted like. Blueberries, by the way."

Rainbow Dash hovered in mid-air, dumbfounded at what The Forgemaster had told her. Just then Pinkie Pie tackled her out of the air, screaming, "Really!"

The other ponies and the human watched as Pinkie licked Rainbow Dash as she had her pinned on the floor. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were both giggling, though Rainbow was also trying to get Pinkie off of her. The Forgemaster decided to intervene.

Without rising from his position, he called out, "Pinkie Pie, I was joking."

She lifted her head long enough to look at him in surprise, "Really! I could definitely taste some blueberries in there, but it tasted more like Skittles to me!"

Rainbow used this opportunity to interject, "Pinkie! Get the hay off of me!"

Pinkie Pie did so, with a sigh of disappointment, however.

"Now, why were you all on me?" The Forgemaster asked.

"Well, you were having a nightmare so we decided to comfort you." Fluttershy said.

"Yeah! You at least should be grateful!" said Rainbow Dash, still on the ground.

The Forgemaster grunted, and then said, "I don't have nightmares… I relive past memories."

All of the ponies just looked at him with shock evident on their faces.

Twilight, however, managed to speak, "Really? That must have been an awful memory, then. Just what exactly were you remembering, anyway?"

The Forgemaster, very eloquently, replied, "No."

"Come on, you can tell us, we're your friends."

"No, you're not." The Forgemaster then got to his feet as quickly as he could as all the ponies screamed, "WHAT!"

The Forgemaster made his way to the door, hoping to avoid an awkward moment. Unfortunately, that wouldn't happen.

The ever annoying and inquisitive Twilight Sparkle spoke up, much to The Forgemaster's chagrin, she asked, "Where are you off to, Forgemaster? And, why don't you think that we're friends?"

"Home." He said, completely ignoring the second question as he opened the door.

"Why? And answer my question or I won't let you leave." Twilight said as she slammed the door with her magic.

"Trying to avoid awkward scenario, failing."

"What do you mean?" asked the angry unicorn.

He glared back at her, then said, "Morning Wood." He then blasted the door open with his own magic, turned invisible, and went home as fast as he could.

All of the ponies in Twilight's home immediately blushed a deep, deep red, especially Twilight, who realized where, exactly, she had been laying on The Forgemaster. But, the ponies were also fairly upset. How could The Forgemaster not consider them friends after all they've been through? The ponies sat down and devised a plan to trap The Forgemaster and admit to them what was wrong.

*The Forgemaster's Home*

The Forgemaster arrived home as quickly as he could. When he entered, he let loose a spell. The runes in the walls immediately reacted to his magic, turning his house invisible to anyone looking from the outside. The Forgemaster then went about his morning routine, washing his clothes, taking a shower, making and eating food, then getting re-dressed in one of the copies of his clothes that Rarity had made for him. He knew he would have to answer the questions the ponies had about why he didn't consider them friends, but that could wait until another day. He sat about his living room, moping, really, when he realized he had yet to deliver his prototype to Rarity. So he went about preparing for that little adventure. The Forgemaster had an inkling that if any of those 6 ponies saw him he would be immediately detained and questioned. And his oath to Celestia prevented him from hurting those 6.

The Forgemaster sighed and thought, 'Better to get it over with.'

He picked his prototype up and walked out the door, making his house reappear and lock on his exit.

The Forgemaster walked through the streets of Ponyville, and for the first time in his admittedly short stay didn't see a single pony. He thought that was strange, but this probably had something to do with Pinkie Pie. He recalled that the pink party pony threw a party for every new resident in Ponyville, so perhaps a new pony was I town. He was thinking that as he dropped the prototype off on Rarity's porch and continued to walk through the town, still not seeing any-pony on the streets but noticing the ponies hiding in their homes.

Now, The Forgemaster had not been around in this land that long, but he knew that the only thing that would scare one of these ponies would be some creepy thing from the Everfree Forest. His suspicions, whether he knew it or not, were true. The Forgemaster walked around a corner and stopped. The first pony that he had seen in the whole town that wasn't cowering in their home was wearing a cloak over his/her entire body. The pony had yet to notice him, so The Forgemaster went up to the strange pony.

He said, "Excuse me, but where are all the other ponies?"

The figure looked over its shoulder and looked The Forgemaster in the eyes; the figure had brilliant, golden eyes, The Forgemaster noticed. As they looked at each other, each hesitating for a moment, the strange pony spoke in a rhyming, sing-song voice.

"I've never met a pony here; each time I come they disappear!" this pony looked him directly in the eye, not even fazed by his non-pony status.

"Oh… really? That seems rude. I should do something about that. But, where are my manners, I am called The Forgemaster, a pleasure to make your acquaintance." He reached out with a hand for a hand shake.

"Do you not like your name, or do you hide behind your title out of shame?"

"I do not know my name, pony, I forgot it."

"A shame to hear, that is true, however, I could fix it with a brew."

"Ah. So you make potions then? But my memory is not something that can be fixed, nor do I wish it so. I hardly want to remember what I was like when I was insane."

The pony and The Forgemaster spoke for several minutes. He learned that she was, in fact, a zebra, not a pony. He also learned her name, Zecora, where she lived, directions to her home, and some other miscellaneous facts about her. When he learned how long she had tried to connect with the residents of Ponyville, and that a certain 'Hyper, pink mare' had screamed out 'An evil enchantress! RUN!', he became fairly irate. He held up a hand to stop Zecora mid-speech, turned around, and directly spoke to the residents of Ponyville in what could only be described as a Drill Sergeant's baritone yell.

"RESIDENTS OF PONYVILLE! ASSEMBLE RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! ON THE DOUBLE!"

A few villagers poked their heads out of their homes and looked at him; fewer still actually left their homes to assemble where he had indicated. The rest of the doors remained resolutely shut.

"I SAID ASSEMBLE AND I MEANT IT, RECRUITS! GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR OR I'LL GET THEM IN GEAR FOR YOU WITH MY BOOT!"

The denizens of Ponyville finally got it through their thick skulls what exactly The Forgemaster wanted, those still in their homes left and proceeded to where the original ponies had gathered. When the Forgemaster was confident all the residents of Ponyville were there, he spoke once more.

"YOU CALL THAT ASSEMBLING! FALL INTO LINES! 7 WIDE AND 18 DEEP, PONIES! ON THE DOUBLE! NOW, MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!"

The ponies dazed and confused as they were, found themselves doing as he told them as quickly as their legs could carry them.

"DISGRACEFUL! YOU CALL THAT DOUBLE TIME! I DIDN'T EVEN HEAR A PEEP OUTTA YOU! WHAT DO YAH SAY?"

A few ponies yelled back, "Yes, Sir!"

"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU! I ASKED, 'WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN ADDRESSING A SUPERIOR OFFICER'!"

All the ponies replied, "Yes, Drill Sergeant." And then looked at each other with confusion, the question evident on their faces, 'What did we just say?'

"SLOPPY! BUT YOU'RE GETTING BETTER! PRIVATE PINKAMENA DIANE PIE! REPORT, FRONT AND CENTER!"

"Private Pie, reporting for duty, sir!"

He blinked and Pinkie Pie was standing in front of him, dressed in Army green fatigues with a helmet and combat vest. In fact, all the ponies were wearing that now and they were extremely confused. He looked down at himself and saw the uniform of a Drill Sergeant. He didn't bat an eyelash at Pinkie's antics and continued where he left off.

"PRIVATE PIE, YOU ARE HEREBY ORDERED TO APOLOGIZE TO FIELD MEDIC ZECORA!" he indicated the zebra in question.

"Sir, for what transgression, sir?" asked Pinkie Pie, as serious as the most hardened of veterans.

"UPON ARRIVING IN PONYVILLE, FIELD MEDIC ZECORA WAS INSULTED AND PONIES FLED FROM HER LIKE THE PLAGUE. THIS HAS CAUSED IRREPERABLE HARM TO HER EMOTIONALLY. THE ACTIONS OF THE PONIES WERE INSTIGATED BY YOU, PRIVATE PIE. AS SUCH, YOUR PUNISHMENT IS TO APOLOGIZE, IMMEDIATELY!"

"YES, DRILL SERGEANT!" Pinkie Pie then went up to Zecora and apologized with all the seriousness she displayed earlier, after apologizing and at a nod from her Drill Sergeant, she fell back into line.

'NOW IT'S YOUR TURN, MAGGOTS. YOUR PUNISHMENT IS AS FOLLOWS: YOU ARE TO BE FRIENDS TO ZECORA, YOU ARE TO TREAT HER WITH THE RESPECT SHE DESERVES, AND YOU ARE TO ACCEPT HER AS AN EQUAL! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

The ponies all replied, "YES, DRILL SERGEANT!"

"GOOD! WHILE THIS IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, ONLY TIME WILL HEAL THE WOUNDS YOUR CHILDISHNESS HAS CAUSED. NOW, ALL OF YOU ARE TO REPORT TO PT WITH CPL. APPLEJACK AT THE ORCHARD! MOVE OUT PONIES! ONE, TWO. ONE, TWO."

As the ponies marched away in perfect military precision, The Forgemaster looked back to see Zecora laughing her head off. She looked at him with a question in her eyes after gaining control of herself, but The Forgemaster cut her off.

"No, Zecora, you do not have to join PT. That will show those maggots not to mess with those who are different. I think I'll visit you later on, is that okay?"

She nodded, but he looked away and screamed after the 'recruits'.

"PRIVATE PIE! JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT THERE DOES NOT MEAN I CANNOT PUNISH YOU. CPL. APPLEJACK! 5 MILE RUN FOR ALL THE PONIES! BUT PRIVATE PIE GETS 20!"

Chapter 18

After his misadventure with Zecora, and every single resident of Ponyville, The Forgemaster went back to his house for some R&R. He changed out of his Drill Sergeant's uniform and carefully hung it up. He then put on his normal clothes, although, he was kind of upset that he lost one of his outfits, he was still happy considering he received an even better uniform in exchange. After changing, he went downstairs to his living room and made himself some lunch. He sat down at the table with his lunch and 3 books, 3 of the only books in Equestria Celestia hadn't already read, and started to eat and read simultaneously. After around an hour, a knock was heard at the door.

"Enter." The Forgemaster said.

In response to his word, the door opened to reveal a very sweaty Twilight Sparkle, still in her military uniform, glaring at him.

Very seriously, The Forgemaster asked, "How was PT with Cpl. Applejack?"

With her angry eyes still locked on his, she said, "You have some explaining to do."

"Is that anyway to speak to your Drill Sergeant, scumbag!" The Forgemaster yelled at her, "Drop and give me 20 push-ups!"

The extremely startled Twilight immediately got down and started on her pushups. After about 5 of them, she snapped out of her daze and stopped. She stood back up and glared at him even angrier than before.

"Stop ordering me around! I'm not a recruit, nor a maggot, nor a scumbag! And you aren't a Drill Sergeant, whatever that is. To be honest, no-pony out there knows what a Corporal is, or what a Private is, or what a Drill Sergeant is!"

He shrugged, "Try living with Spartans for a century."

"Ugh! This isn't what I came here to talk with you about! I came to ask why you don't consider me or my friends your friends."

He glared at her, "Twilight Sparkle, there is a good reason why I cannot be your friend, a very fundamental reason."

"What is that reason, Forgemaster?"

His eyes hardened, "Because friends die!"

Twilight became confused, "So? What does that have to do with anything?"

"I CAN'T!"

She was too shocked to respond.

"Twilight Sparkle, I've lived a very long time, I've had many, many friends. And do you know what I've learned? I learned that friends are great, until the moment they die and you don't. Do you know the feeling that you get when you watch your friends age, wither, and die, while you stay the exact same as the day you met them? It is not a good feeling, Twilight Sparkle. I've found that loneliness is preferable to watching friends die, time and time again." His voice slowly became quieter as he spoke, eventually just becoming a whisper.

He sighed, and then continued, "Twilight Sparkle, I know you wish to be my friends, but for both your sanity and mine, it will never be so. However, there is one thing that you could do that would allow us to be friends."

Twilight had gotten more depressed the more The Forgemaster spoke, so when he said that there was hope for them being friends after all, she jumped at the chance, "What is it, Forgemaster? We'll do anything!"

"It's very simple, actually. If you want to be my friend, you must first unlock the secret to immortality."

Twilight spoke before she could think, "But that's impossible!"

"Exactly, Twilight Sparkle, Exactly." The Forgemaster said, in a very quiet voice.

Twilight stood there, horrified by what she had done. She had destroyed her own argument!

"Leave, Twilight Sparkle, I wish to be alone."

She left, and he shut the door behind her. She left thinking of all the ways she could fix the situation. He stayed thinking about his past, and all the friends he had lost.

The Forgemaster had been moping about his house for several hours, and it was getting dark now. He had turned back all the attempts by the ponies to contact him, eventually resorting to fortifying his home. After Big Macintosh and Applejack forced their way through that, they were surprised to see The Forgemaster and several other of his kind in his home. They were all wearing golden armor and were armed with spears and golden shields. Big Mac and Applejack were pushed back by these creatures and The Forgemaster, wearing the same armor, and they fled the house.

As they left, one of the newcomers spoke to them,"Spartans protect their own!"

Then the one who had spoken and the other newcomers dissipated into a cloud of smoke, the joys of summoning the spirits of the dead must be noted The Forgemaster then turned his home invisible and fortified it some more. He was simply trying to lock himself away from the silly ponies that had never gone through what he had gone through. In The Forgemaster's opinion, only the fires of war could form lasting friendships. But the Forgemaster had had enough; he took off his Spartan armor and put his normal clothes back on. He left his home and turned it visible once more, though he, himself, was not. He walked through the small crowd of bewildered ponies who had gathered to watch the siege and walked off towards the Everfree Forest.

He found himself walking down the path towards Zecora's hut. He needed someone to talk to, and these ponies were far, FAR too innocent to understand. He found Zecora, even though they had barely met, to be much more mature than these ponies. As he walked through the forest he noticed something that seemed out of place; a patch of beautiful, blue flowers. They were completely contrasting with the norm of the forest, and that interested him. He bent down to touch them, and did so. As he touched them, he felt a small jolt of magic go into his hand. Now, that just confused him further: What kind of plant has magic in it?

The Forgemaster put the thought from his mind: surely a tiny blue flower couldn't be dangerous?

He continued down the path to Zecora's hut.

He met with the zebra and she invited him inside. They talked for a while, long into the night. When the time came to leave, Zecora tried to stop him, citing that it was too dangerous to travel through the Everfree at night. He reminded her who she was talking to, then left. He walked down the path that would take him back to Ponyville. He was tired, he stayed with Zecora far longer than he should have.

As he was walking, he became faint and dizzy. He shook it off and continued walking. As he turned around a bend in the path, the dizziness hit him with fervor. He clutched his head and fell off of the path, unable to maintain balance. A bush broke his fall, but he still disoriented. He stood up and tried to get back to the path but actually stumbled farther away from it. He crashed through the forest; all of the animals and predators were frightened of him and ran. He finally stopped when he could go no further: when the faint feeling from earlier came back with a vengeance. In a moment, he was out.

He was dreaming. Any onlooker would have known that it wasn't a pleasant dream. He dreamt that some grotesque, mismatched creature had visited him and spoke with him, but he couldn't remember what had been said…

He awoke with a start.

He looked around, but couldn't remember anything.

He literally, couldn't remember a thing.

He looked down at himself and saw dark red fur sticking out of him. A black colored mane moved to block his view, but he pushed it away with his hoof.

'Hoof? Since when do I have hooves?' he thought. 'Why am I confused? I can't remember anything so why should this be wrong?'

He looked carefully now, 4 legs, red fur, a black mane, some weird tattoo thing on his side. He felt that this was wrong. He felt as though he was in the wrong body, but he didn't have anything to compare it to. He couldn't remember anything, but as he looked around, his mind supplied the names of the things he looked at. Apparently, he was well-learned, but he couldn't remember where he had learned, or if the names that were supplied were even correct. However, that was not what worried him the most about his current situation.

He voiced his thoughts out loud, "Where am I! Why am I here! How did I get here! WHO AM I!

Chapter 19

The new pony looked around his surroundings. As he did so, he discovered several useful things: he had wings and he had pockets. The wings were difficult enough to understand, but the pockets were confusing. He went through them and discovered around 500 bits and some miscellaneous metals. After that, he tried to fly. Emphasis on 'Tried', he couldn't get the wings to cooperate with him. However, something dangerous was watching the pony. While previously scared off by the human's size and strength, the predators of this forest weren't afraid of one measly pony. In fact, a pony would be considered a meal in the Everfree.

As the pony struggled to get his bearings, and coping the best he could with not having any memories, one of the predators of this forest watched him with interest. A fairly large creature, at least compared to most ponies, it was also an ungodly conglomerations of several animals. A lion, a scorpion, and a bird, amongst others. In one word: a manticore.

Whether he knew it or not, The Forgemaster, in his crazed wanderings, had actually ended up rather close to the forest's edge. Near Fluttershy's house, to be exact.

Fluttershy was busy tending to her animals early in the morning when she heard a roar from just inside the forest. She looked towards the forest to see a very large, dark red pegasus running towards her, with a manticore just behind him. As she looked on in horror, the pony tripped over the uneven ground.

'Oh no', thought Fluttershy.

Her concern was unwarranted however, as the pony turned his trip into a roll. When he came out of the roll, he saw Fluttershy standing there with her animals and screamed at her. However, he was far too far away for her to make out any words, but by the gestures he was making, he wanted her to run away.

However, Fluttershy was frozen in fear. She was very, very afraid, both for her life and for the other pony's life.

When the red pegasus noticed her not moving, he knew she wouldn't run away like it was sensible to do so. He knew that if he got much closer to the yellow pegasus the manticore would try for the un-moving, and therefore vulnerable, prey.

And so, he turned to face his foe. The manticore was a few seconds behind him and running at top speed. But, the manticore didn't expect the pony to stop and couldn't stop itself in time. The pony bucked the manticore right in the chest, both the muscles in the pony's legs and the manticore's own momentum contributing to the blow. With a loud *CRACK*, several ribs in the manticore's body were broken, and it was bucked back many yards. The pony took the time he had gained from knocking the manticore back to roar a war-cry at the creature.

""Na xérete óti sas antimeto̱pízoun Spartiatikí̱, thi̱río!" yelled the pony. Know that you face a Spartan, beast!

(A/N- this is Greek, I Googled it so it's probably wrong, that is the phonetic spelling and the English in italics and underlined is what I wanted him to say.)

Now, the Forgemaster was fairly confused. Due to his memory loss, he had no idea what he just said! But it felt like what he said had power in it, and that it felt to him that he had said it a million times before, just as the fighting felt. He felt as though, and his muscle memory confirmed, that he had been in many fights. His subconscious was telling him that the manticore was an easy battle and that he had fought much worse.

The manticore was bucked away from the red pegasus, but said pegasus pressed the assault. Even though the manticore was severely injured from the first hit, it fought the pegasus to the last. The pony hit the manticore hard and fast, the manticore could only respond with claws, tail, and bite. The pegasus kicked the manticore to the ground, but the manticore threw its tail up to stab the pegasus in the stomach. The pony narrowly avoided the tail but the manticore wasn't out of tricks. It lunged out at the pegasus with his claws, scoring deep gashes down his flank. The pegasus didn't seem to notice that he was wounded, and the manticore's assault had left an opening. His left front hoof reached out and slammed the manticore in the face. While the beast was stunned, the pegasus repeatedly stomped on its head, crushing it and ending the fight.

All told, The Forgemaster had received multiple gashes from the manticore, as well as many smaller cuts from running through the forest. No broken bones, no torn ligaments, no cut arteries, and he could walk away easily. A great victory for the pegasus; nothing damaged excessively and the enemy was dead.

He looked up to see that the mare from earlier hadn't moved an inch from where she had frozen. However, her face was not frozen like her body was. She had a look of horror and sadness, as well as a trembling lip.

He walked up to her, but she didn't seem to notice. She just stood there, looking at the dead manticore. After several, awkward moments, the red pegasus decided to follow the path to the settlement he could see in the distance. He looked back to see the same thing he saw earlier; a frozen, yellow pegasus. He mentally shrugged and continued down the path. His eyes were telling him that everything he saw was new, but his mind was telling him that he had seen it all before. It was… confusing to say the least.

As he was walking through town, all of the ponies gathered in groups and were trying to hide their staring. Some of them shrieked and fainted, others ran away. Most stayed and talked amongst themselves. They were all staring at him and whispering about him! He couldn't imagine why; he was no-pony interesting. As he thought that, his subconscious screamed at him in anger.

He was in the main street of this village now, there appeared to be a tree up ahead. The sign on the tree said, 'Library'.

He certainly didn't need a library. So he just passed it by and continued his explorations through town. That is, he would have, had not somepony left the library and notice him.

He heard a shrill screech come from the library-tree he just passed, "OhmiCelestia! Are you alright?"

He didn't think the voice was addressed at him, so he kept walking away. He was doing so, rather successfully, until a lavender unicorn stepped in front of him.

"Hey, I asked you a question! Are you alright?"

He looked at her and said, "I'm fine."

She looked at him in shock before saying, "But you're bleeding!"

He looked back at his body and noticed that she was right: the wounds from the manticore were still weeping blood. He was also coated in the blood of the creature, but the unicorn seemed to think it was his.

He said, "Oh yeah."

She looked even more shocked than she did earlier, "How can you just forget about those awful injuries? Why aren't you in pain?"

He shrugged.

"Come with me, you've got to get to the hospital!"

She ran off, clearly expecting him to follow. He did not; instead, he went off in another direction to continue exploring the town. He shortly found himself in a large, open field. He sat down underneath the only tree in the field, and watched as some random blue pegasus did tricks above his head. Watching the agile flyer, he became envious of her. He stood up and tried to use his wings to achieve flight like the pegasus above him was doing. After several minutes of angrily trying to fly, he had a breakthrough: if he watched how the pegasus above him was flying, he could learn that way!

After about 5 minutes of him watching, staring really, he had learned much, enough that he felt he could fly, too. Then pegasus he was watching noticed him noticing her. In an instant, she dive-bombed on to him. She 'pulled up', as it were, at the last moment and landed beside him. Now that she was closer, he finally got an idea of who exactly he had been studying; a young, rainbow-haired, blue coated, mare. She looked at him and liked what she saw. Oh sweet mother of Celestia did she like what she saw. She grinned at him.

She spoke, "See anything you like, hot stuff?" in an entirely too forward manner.

He, oblivious to what she was actually asking, said, "Yes."

She grinned even more before laughing, "Really? HAHAHA! You're not even trying to be smooth, lover-colt."

"I don't understand, your tricks were enjoyable to watch."

She started to laugh even more than previously, and then she noticed his injuries, her eyes widened and she said, "You're hurt!"

She rushed to his side in an instant and examined the wound.

"This doesn't look very good. Can you fly? Follow me; I can bandage you up at my place."

She started to hover just above him while he looked at her.

"I'm not entirely sure I can fly. But I will try." He said

He took off, and for his first time, he wasn't that bad at all. He managed to stay afloat in the air and began following the mare at a slow pace. She led him to her house; a flying house made out of clouds with rainbow waterfalls.

She led him inside and he was amazed: the inside was coated in 'Wonderbolts' posters. She had left him in the living room to go get bandages. When she came down the stairs, she noticed him staring at the posters.

She sheepishly said, "I really like the Wonderbolts" while she was scratching the back of her neck with a hoof.

He said, "Who are the Wonderbolts?"

She was shocked at this and said, "How can you not know the Wonderbolts? Have you been living under a rock or something?"

He replied, "Maybe."

She scowled and went to bandage him. This, however, did not deter her from speaking.

"So what's your name? My name is Rainbow Dash."

"It's nice to meet you Rainbow Dash." He replied.

She managed to cover the entirety of the manticore slash with the bandages, but many of the smaller cuts from running through the forest were left uncovered. She noticed his cutie-mark, and she was confused by it. It was a large blue 8 turned on its side: (A/N- Tried to put the infinity symbol here, but it doesn't work!). She knew it was a symbol for something, but she didn't know what.

"So what's your name, pal?"

"I don't remember."

She scowled, "UGH! I met another guy recently who didn't remember what his name was either. Is this some sort of disease running through the stallions of Equestria?"

He replied, "I do not believe so. But I will need more data before I can substantiate my claim."

She looked at him for a long, hard moment before replying, "You're serious aren't you? You don't remember your name? You got amnesia?"

"Perhaps."

She let out another groan, "I guess if you can't remember where you're from, you can sleep on the couch. I'll take you to see Twilight tomorrow; she'll know what to do."

They both stood there for several moments before Rainbow Dash continued, "Do you really think my tricks are good?"

"Yes."

She looked at him with something he had never seen before in her eyes, "Are you sure you want to sleep on the couch? It could get lonely down here, all alone."

He was confused, "How would being alone or not affect how I sleep?"

She face-hoofed, and then said, "UGH! Do you even know what I'm asking?"

With a straight face, he replied, "You're asking if I would like to sleep somewhere more comfortable."

"No, you idiot." She said, face-hoofing once more, "I'm asking if you want to sleep with me!"

"Oh."

Chapter 20

*The Next Day*

The ponified Forgemaster woke from his sleep atop a rectangular cloud, inside of a cloud room, the walls covered in Wonderbolts posters. He remembered clearly the events that happened last night. The shower (For the blood), the bed, the 2nd shower, then the 3rd shower (Alone, this time), and then sleep. Apparently, when you lose your memory, your mind recalls any new information with stunning clarity. At least, that's what he thought.

He noticed that Rainbow Dash wasn't where she was when he went to sleep. In her place, he found a note.

This note read: Gone to Twilight's. Be back soon. Make yourself at home.

He frowned at the note before going downstairs to the kitchen for some breakfast.

'That's an odd request.' He thought.

*Twilight's Library*

"What do you mean you slept with a stallion you don't even know the name of!" Twilight screamed.

"Aw, come on, Twilight, don't be like that. Besides, you should have seen him! He was s~o hot! Before he cleaned up; he was gorgeous. But after! OhmiCelestia, that body… And he was HUGE, too! He had to be as big as my leg!" Rainbow held out a leg for reference, to which Twilight blushed, "And he could do this thing with his hoof." She shivered from the memory. "Plus, he has amnesia. I can't know his name if he doesn't!"

"Really, amnesia? Hmm, I might know a spell that can help him." Twilight said, "Maybe we can have The Forgemaster talk with him, he lost memories too. Maybe he could help."

"Uh, aren't you forgetting something? Like how The Forgemaster disappeared into his magical house and hasn't been seen since?"

"Ugh… The first time we could get his input on something important, and he disappears!"

"Hey! The Forgemaster was great! He just… kinda… disappeared, is all. I'm sure it wasn't his fault and that he'll be back soon."

"I don't know Rainbow; I hope he does come back. But, no-pony knows where he went off to!"

"I'm sure we'll find him." Rainbow Dash said, putting a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "But anyway, I gotta go back to the mystery stallion: see how he's doing. I only left him for an hour, but who knows what might've happened?"

"Alright Rainbow, bring him back here whenever you can. I want to meet him and see if I can help."

"Bye Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said as she flew off towards her house.

As Rainbow Dash approached her home, she realized that something was off. First of all, she had the only cloud-house in all of Ponyville, but there were 2. Second of all, the new cloud-house was almost an exact replica of her house! She flew to the nearest one, and went inside. There she found the walls coated in Wonderbolts posters, obviously her home. So she went to the other one and went inside, there she found the living room that was in her house only with different furniture configuration and larger doorways.

"Hey, lover-colt! Where are you?" Rainbow called out into the house.

"At the rainbow fall, Rainbow Dash." Came the response from the mystery pony.

She went off to where the waterfall would start if this was her home and found the red pegasus there.

"Hello, Rainbow Dash. How do you work one of these rainbow falls?"

"Did you make an exact replica of my cloud-house in an hour!" Rainbow Dash screamed, and then more calmly said, "Is this really what you do in your spare time?"

"You told me to 'make myself a home'. I didn't know of any other kind of home to make, so I copied yours." He said, completely serious.

She face-hoofed, "No you silly filly, the note said to make yourself at home!"

"Oh. I did not understand the expression, so I assumed you made a spelling mistake."

She looked at him with the same look from last night in her eyes, "So, you're hardworking, you work fast, and you have stamina enough to last an hour? I think I'm gonna like you, you're definitely a keeper."

"I don't understand."

The look in her eyes vanished and she scowled, "Ugh, you know, you can really spoil the mood. Anyways, I should probably take you to see Twilight; she thinks she may be able to fix that memory problem of yours. Maybe we can fix your injuries, too."

"Unnecessary." He took off the bandage and revealed 3 large scars from where the manticore slashed him.

"Whoa!" She floated in closer to him. "That looks so cool! Dang, you must be a fast healer. All your other cuts are gone, too. You don't even have many bruises! You think you can fly?"

"Yes."

"Great! Then let's go!"

Together, they flew away from the twin houses, and into Ponyville.

Chapter 21

Rainbow Dash and the ponified Forgemaster arrived at Twilight's house in no time at all. Rainbow Dash, in her excitement, went through one of the windows of the library, while The Forgemaster went to the door and knocked. As he stood there, waiting for some-pony to open the door, he heard voices coming from inside the library: angry voices, they were probably discussing Rainbow Dash's lack of door use. After a few moments, the door opened to reveal a lavender unicorn, the same one from earlier, speaking to Rainbow Dash over her shoulder.

"… just stop flying through my…" she turned her attention towards the pony at her door.

She gasped, "It's you! The pony from earlier! Why aren't you at the hospital? Come on Rainbow, he's seriously hurt, we gotta get him there, fast."

"Unnecessary, Twilight Sparkle." He indicated his scars, where the manticore's claws had gashed him.

"What do you mean unnecessary? You were…" She stops when she notices his wounds have healed.

"I told you, Twilight!" a voice from inside said.

Twilight bade him come inside her home, and he did so. She then proceeded to argue with Rainbow Dash, leaving him standing in the middle of a library with 2 arguing mares that were, oddly enough, arguing about him. He stood there watching the argument, saw that he had no input in the argument, and looked around the library. It was most impressively stocked, having just about a copy of every book in Equestria. He noticed that the books were alphabetized and went to the section labeled: 'R'. He quickly found what he was looking for: a book on rainbows. The rainbow fall at his new home hadn't work and he needed to read up on the subject to fix it. He sat down at the nearby table to read it, and was doing so quite successfully, until Twilight became annoyed at how he was reading.

Twilight had looked up from the argument long enough to see Rainbow's new friend sitting down and skimming through a book. She became irate quickly at the sight of one of her precious books so obviously misused.

"Hey! You can't read a book like that! You'll damage it!" she yelled at him, the anger from her previous argument seeping into her tone.

He didn't even look up from his 'reading', but spoke, "Page: 1 Paragraph: 1 Line: 1. Welcome to an introductory to rainbows! Everything you would ever need to know about rainbows can be found in this book. The first section will deal with what rainbows are and how they are produced. The second section will deal with what rainbows can be used for. The 3rd section is about proper use of rainbows and some safety precautions one must use when…"

Twilight used her magic to rip the book from his hooves, and scanned the 1st page with her eyes. After she was done, she looked up with a shocked expression on her face.

"That was perfect! Every single word, exactly how they were used." She turned to Rainbow Dash, "Rainbow Dash! Your colt-friend has perfect recall: eidetic memory!"

"I told you, Twilight; he was a keeper!" The proud pegasus replied.

"May I have the book back?"

"Uh, sure." Twilight passed the book back, "But, why do you even need to read about rainbows, anyway."

"The rainbow falls on my new house don't work, I was reading to see how I could remedy the problem."

Rainbow Dash put in her two cents, "Yeah, he just built his house today. In the last hour he made almost an exact replica of my house because he didn't understand my note!"

Twilight froze; she looked at the red pegasus with much the same look that Rainbow Dash had the previous night and whispered to herself, "Perfect memory, reads book to solve problems, proficient lover…"

The Forgemaster looked at the lavender unicorn with some concern, and then turned to Rainbow Dash, "Rainbow Dash, what's a colt-friend?"

Twilight was confused, "Rainbow, I thought you said that he was your colt-friend?" At Rainbow's rather sheepish look, Twilight said, "He can't be your colt-friend if he doesn't know what one is!" she narrowed her eyes at Rainbow Dash, "I want him, he's mine!"

The two mares got into another argument, this one twice as heated as the last one. The pony the two were arguing about was probably the most confused pony in Ponyville. He finished his book a few moments later, every word memorized, and then he went over to the bookshelves once more, this time looking for a dictionary. He found one, and looked up the word he was looking for:

Colt-friend: noun: the male pony that another pony has significant feelings for, most often love. Being a colt-friend is agreed upon by both parties involved.

He felt the need to interject into the argument. He stated the book definition of the term and, in return, received a look of defeat from Rainbow Dash and a look of joy from Twilight.

Rainbow Dash said, "Fine! But all that means is that he gets to choose who he wants to be his mare-friend, and I'm gonna win!" she complemented the last words of her sentence with pokes to Twilight's chest.

"Oh, it is so on!" Twilight yelled right back, the mares getting in each other's faces.

"We came here because you thought you could help me, Twilight Sparkle."

She glanced at him, then scowled, "Between you and The Forgemaster, you're the only 2 in all Equestria who calls me that." She sighs, "Alright, come here, this should be over quickly."

He steps towards her and her horn begins to glow as she touches it to his forehead. Rainbow Dash scowled as she saw the scene; it looked like they were about to kiss, after all. Several minutes passed, and then finally the two separated from each other. The male took several steps back, and then he spoke.

"I find myself disgusted with myself." He scowled.

"What? Why?" Twilight asked.

"I believe it will be more interesting if I leave you in the dark as to what exactly I learned. However, you may call me; Crimson Hammer."

Chapter 22

"It's nice to meet you with full memory, Crimson Hammer." Twilight said, holding out a hoof.

He shook her hoof and did the same for Rainbow, who had also put out her hoof.

"So are you gonna tell us what you learned?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"No." replied Crimson Hammer.

"Ah, come-on! I'm dying to know about you! Please…."

"Honestly, Rainbow Dash. I said I wouldn't, and I won't! And you only now think about getting to know me? Before last night, you weren't this inquisitive."

"That's because you didn't know anything! Now you do, so it's completely different." Rainbow Dash yelled at him.

"Ah, so you took a stallion, who didn't know what he was doing, into your house, and made him have sex with you?"

"Well… it sounds bad when you say it like that…" She paused, her eyes widened, "Wait, you mean… last night. You didn't know what you were doing?"

"No, of course not."

Rainbow Dash's jaw hit the floor; stunned. Twilight took the opportunity to enter the conversation.

"Well, regardless of what happened between you and Rainbow, I would still like to know more about you."

"Yes. I know. The answer is still no, if only to infuriate you."

Twilight almost cried tears of frustration, "WHY!"

"The Forgemaster told me you were like this, and how much you irritated him. I see now that he was right."

Her fury momentarily forgotten, she said, "You met The Forgemaster? Where is he!"

"Yes, I met him. He was traveling through the Everfree Forest; he's traveling and won't be back for several weeks."

"Argh, I wanted to ask him questions! Do you know that he gave me a punishment of not being able to ask him questions, for a whole month?"

"Yes, he mentioned it." Crimson Hammer frowned at Twilight, "Have you never thought of simply waiting until he trusts you enough to tell you his story?"

She doesn't respond as he walks past her and onto the street. Rainbow dash doesn't respond either, as she is lost in the realm of possibility that is her imagination. She was thinking about how good Crimson Hammer was in bed, and if that was him not knowing what to do, just imagine what he could do now that he did know what he was doing! She resolved to seduce Crimson Hammer once more at the soonest possibility. However, she couldn't move just now, as she was having the most wondrous day-dream…

*Outside*

Crimson Hammer, also known as The Forgemaster, walked down the streets of Ponyville. He was fascinated by all he saw, while he knew just about everything, it was always interesting to see things from a new prospective. Especially literally! Previously, he had seen everything through the eyes of an adult human, 7 feet off of the ground and looking down at everything he saw, now he was a pony, albeit an above-average sized pony, and much shorter than he was used to. This change in stature enabled him to see things that previously eluded him.

Apparently, the change in body also affected his mind. His thinking processes have changed, and he wanted his old methods back! Before, he had seen things through the cold, calculating gaze of an engineer; a creator. Now he sees things differently, and he does not welcome the change. However, the thing that frightened him the most, if one could call it fear, is not how his thinking had changed, but what, exactly, the changes had made him think! For instance, he found himself identifying the sexual characteristics of nearby mares and subconsciously evaluating them as potential mates. Any human in this position would feel the same as he did, for while he was pony on the outside, on the inside he was very much human. He was revolted by the thoughts this new body's instincts forced upon him, as any human who didn't wish to mate with animals would feel.

As he was contemplating the revolt his subconscious had undertaken, a new sensation passed through him. It announced its presence, and its displeasure, with a loud grumbling sound; emanating from his stomach. Apparently, his breakfast had not been enough. Another change he had noticed was greatly increased metabolism. It was probably unique to pegasi, however, as they would need much energy to stay afloat, magic or no magic.

His subconscious and he were finally agreeing on one thing: food is required.

The closest place to find adequate food just happened to be, Applejack's stall. He approached and was greeted warmly by the orange mare.

"Are yah new to Ponyville? I haven't seen yah before so yah must be. Here, all new ponies in Ponyville git one free Apple Fritter."

He grinned, mentally, at her choice of words, showing nothing on his face, however, as-per-usual. He said, "What about griffons? Do they get a free fritter?"

"Well, o' course they do! Why wouldn't they?" the confused farmer pony said.

"You said that all new ponies received an Apple Fritter, you did not say anything about the other species."

With a glare, she said, "Do yah want the thang, or not?"

He nodded, and got exactly one Apple Fritter in return.

Making sure he was still close to the stall, he ate it slowly. As he finished it, he got exactly what he expected: a question from Applejack.

"So how was it?" she asked, less angrily than the last time she spoke.

He smiled, and took pains to use exactly the same word as said last time, "It was fine."

The look that came over her face was priceless, he hadn't been looking at her the last time he had been here; he had merely been on the receiving end of her anger. He was anxious to see how this would play out in his new form.

She glared at him, and forcefully restrained herself, and then spoke, "Yah know, the last time some-pony called one o' mah fritters 'fine', I was upset with him." She then grinned ruefully, and chuckled, "Learned an important lesson that day; 'Never mess with some-pony you don't know; they might just win the fight.'"

He was stunned: someone had actually learned a lesson? It was almost unheard of!

"You could also say that you learned not to under-estimate some-pony." He said, taking care to use the correct terminology, while taking a slight jab at her.

She grinned once more and laughed, "Yeah, I guess yah could say that. He didn't actually fight me, yah know, just let mah know that if 'e wanted tah, he couldah hurt me.

He grinned at her, "I'm sure The Forgemaster enjoyed the experience, too."

He took off and quickly flew away before she could get over her shock.

She hadn't actually mentioned The Forgemaster, but the colt knew about the incident nonetheless. She couldn't shake the feeling that the colt had just tested her on something, and that she had passed. She blew out a sigh of relief, at least she had passed.

He found himself in another part of Ponyville, far from either the library or Sugarcube Corner. That, however, didn't stop the pink mare from finding him all the same. She announced her presence with a loud gasp, and a tackle.

"Oh my gosh, who are you? I don't know you, so that means you're new, and if you're new, that means you haven't had your party yet, and if you haven't had your party yet, that means that I have to go set up the party! What's your name!"

"My name is Crimson Hammer; may we have the party at my house?"

"OF COURSE!" she exploded.

The mare then immediately sprinted away, defying physics all the way home.

Crimson Hammer then stood up and dusted himself off.

'How is she going to hold a party on a cloud-house? Pinkie Pie has been solved: with logic.' He thought.

Chapter 23

Crimson "The Forgemaster" Hammer went back to his house after Pinkie Pie had swamped him. In a few moments, he had the rainbow falls working correctly, just like Rainbow Dash's. However, his didn't have all of the colors of the rainbow; his only had blue and red. According to the book he had memorized, the rainbow fall reacts to the emotions of whoever owns it. And apparently, his were blue and red… whatever that means.

He found himself bored. This rarely happens to him, as whenever he was bored before he would just start forging something. Now, however, if he went to The Forgemaster's house and used the forge out back, the ponies would become suspicious. He had 2 options, visit Rarity or visit Fluttershy. Neither was particularly appealing to him, but he should probably see how Fluttershy was doing and see how Rarity's been. Fluttershy had, after all, seen a brutal battle take place in front of her, and Rarity was the only pony in this town that he could actually sit down and talk to for longer than 5 minutes.

He sighed: he really found most of those ponies annoying.

He went on an adventure through Ponyville, sad and depressed. His head down, he walked slowly through Ponyville

'Pain, sadness, and irritation. Ahhh, it's good to see you again, old friends. It's been too long.' He thought.

He could have picked himself up with some forging, but that avenue of stress-relief was closed to him. The ponies of Ponyville probably wouldn't appreciate it if he took out his emotions on them, either. He looked up to find that he had wandered to the local music store. Music just happened to be one of his hobbies, amongst others. He walked in and found a good, old-fashioned 6-string guitar, made from the best materials and with modern precision. For a good price, too: only 150 bits. That left him with around 300 bits from the 500 he woke up as a pony with.

'I should get a job, if only to ward off suspicion. Thank the gods that Celestia knew about weather manipulation, I'll just join the weather patrol.' He mused.

He stowed his new acquisition on his back, then went to visit Rarity's Boutique. On the way over, he realized that he had yet to technically meet Rarity, so he devised a fool proof plan: he would simply appeal to her needs. He knocked on the door, and stepped back, and then waited for the fashionista to answer her door. When she opened her door not 12 seconds later, he gave a gentle-coltly bow and introduced himself by his new moniker.

"Hello, miss. My name is Crimson Hammer and it's an honor to meet you. I find myself in need of clothing, and you came highly recommended by a colleague of mine from Canterlot." He spoke with a Canterlot accent, just like Rarity.

Her face positively lit up at his manners, and when he mentioned Canterlot, she nearly exploded with joy, she replied, "Why, it's very nice to meet you as well, Crimson Hammer. My name is Rarity, and I would be happy to make some clothing for you. If you would just enter my Boutique, we can get started." She waved him in with a hoof.

He entered, and said "Miss Rarity, please just call me Crimson, or Hammer: whichever is more convenient. I don't wish to take up too much of your time, but I'm sure this will be over fairly quickly."

She looked horrified at the suggestion, "I assure you couldn't possibly waste my time, dear; I actually had nothing planned for today. Making something for you would actually be a benefit for me!"

He smiled at her and said, "I see the stories of your hospitality were not exaggerated, in the slightest. Unfortunately, it's not your time that I'm worried about, though I am overjoyed that you are free for the day, I actually need these clothes as soon as possible. I will, of course, pay extra for your trouble."

She smiled back and said, "No need to pay extra, Crimson, as there is no trouble at all! Now, if you'll just stand up on here, we'll get your measurements." She indicated a nearby platform.

He stepped onto the platform and she began to take measurements. He spoke to her as she worked.

"Miss Rarity-", he began.

"Please, dear, just call me Rarity." She said from his back legs.

"My apologies; Rarity. I know that you are an expert in clothes making, but I am decent at the craft myself. You wouldn't mind, terribly, if I drew something up for you to make?"

"Not at all, dear! The customer knows best!" she said from his left side.

He grinned, "But you wouldn't mind giving me your opinion, would you?"

"I'll give my honest, professional opinion: I swear." She said whilst almost underneath him.

"Great! I'll just need a pad and pencil…"

He left a half-hour later with Rarity diligently working on something he had called, an 'Assassin's Cloak'. Thankfully, Rarity didn't know what an assassin was. He doubted that there would ever be a need for assassins in Equestria, but one must be prepared for anything. After his little escapade with Rarity, he decided to visit Fluttershy.

He remembered the route to Fluttershy's cabin, as it was next to the same path he had taken to visit Zecora. He hadn't been there before, but if her personality would be anything to go by; it would be comfortable, homey, and animal-friendly. He found exactly that as he rounded a bend in the path. However, something was wrong.

There was a small stream coming from inside the yellow mare's cabin. As he came to the door, he noticed that the stream was coming from under the door frame. He knocked and was greeted within moments by a small rabbit and an increase in the flow of the stream, now confirmed as coming from Fluttershy's living room. Now, the Forgemaster wasn't one to be intimidated by anything, anyone, or anypony, but this rabbit looked like it could kick some serious ass, if need be. He also noticed that the rabbit was slightly surprised, and very angry, at his visit.

Crimson Hammer cleared his throat, remembered that he had also yet to technically meet Fluttershy, formally at least, and then said, "Excuse me, but I came by to see how the yellow mare from earlier was doing."

The rabbit stomped its paw and pointed through the doorway where the stream was coming from. The Forgemaster walked in the room to find Fluttershy in tears and surrounded by her animal friends.

'So that's why there was a stream, it was her tears…' he thought.

"Excuse me, miss?" he said out loud.

The crying mare didn't look up, and in a voice, barely audible, said, "Who are you?"

"I am Crimson Hammer, and… the stallion from the manticore attack."

The yellow pegasus immediately stopped crying and 'Stared' at him, "How dare you! What gave you the right to hurt that poor, little manticore!" she said in a much stronger voice than previously

"The fact that had I not killed it, it would have killed either me or you!" he yelled right back.

She was shocked, nothing beside The Forgemaster had ever resisted her before, she stammered out, "Wha'?"

"I was running from the beast so I did not have to kill it! In the forest, it could out-run me, but in the open plains, I had the advantage. But when it and I both saw you freeze, I knew that if I had kept running away it would have stopped and attacked you as you were clearly the weaker prey."

She hid behind her mane, "Really?" she squeaked out.

"Yes, little one. I had no desire to hurt the creature, but it was him, me, or you. I think I made the right decision when I fought the beast."

"That doesn't mean you had to kill him…"

"Yes, I know, but it happened. I also wasn't exactly in my normal state of mind at the time anyway."

She looked up at him for the first time without anger and more pity, "Oh you poor dear, what happened?"

"Twilight Sparkle will tell you, if you ask." He sighed, "I just came to see if you were alright, you looked kind of bad earlier."

She looked down, with a blush, "Oh, well, thank you. My name is Fluttershy, by the way. I'm sorry if I was rude earlier, that poor manticore really got to me."

"It's nice to meet you Fluttershy, I'm sorry I caused you so much pain."

"It will take a few days, but I'll be fine." She smiled

"Well, if there's nothing else, I should go."

He stepped outside before turning back and saying, "I'll visit sometime, if that's alright."

She nodded, and he went on his way.

WwWwWwW

Even after all he had done that day, he still found himself sad. Apparently, going around talking to 'new' ponies wasn't one of his stress relievers. But, there is always one cure for a sad individual: CLASSIC ROCK!

He found himself a cloud; far enough above Ponyville that no-pony could hear him. He sat down and prepared his new guitar, stringing it and tuning it. Even as a pony, he, and other ponies, could play a guitar. Some innate magic rubbish or something; hoofed creatures shouldn't be able to play a stringed instrument, and yet they do. The more he stayed in this confusing and illogical world, the less he liked it. But he wouldn't give it up for anything, even as it, and its inhabitants maddened him, he truly enjoyed it here.

He was just about ready to play, not noticing, or not caring about, the rainbow streaked cloud that floated just behind him. She had been sent to collect him for his party, somehow held at his cloud-house.

His hooves played out the opening notes, and he played the rest of the song with nothing but his guitar, no accompaniment by back up vocalists or other instruments. Even though he knew he was alone, he felt the need to change the lyrics to suit this new place he found himself in.

It's all the same

Only the names will change

Everyday

It seems we're wastin' away

Another place

Where the faces are so cold

I fly all night

Just to get back home

I'm a cowboy

On the cold winds I fly

I'm wanted

Dead or alive

Wanted

Dead or alive

Sometimes I sleep

Sometimes it's not for days

The ponies I meet

Always go their separate ways

Sometimes you tell the day

By the bottle that you drink

And times when you're alone

All you do is think

I'm a cowboy

On the high winds I fly

I'm wanted

Dead or alive

Wanted

Dead or alive

Ohh alright

Oh I'm a cowboy

On the cold winds I fly

I'm wanted

Dead or alive

When I walk these streets

A loaded six string on my back

I play for keeps

'Cause I might not make it back

I've been everywhere

Still I'm standin' tall

I've seen a million faces

And I've rocked them all!

'Cause I'm a cowboy

On the high winds I fly

I'm wanted

Dead or alive

I'm a cowboy

I got the night on my side

And I'm wanted

Dead or alive

And I'm right

Dead or alive

I still fly

Dead or alive

Dead or alive

Dead or alive

Mm dead or alive

Dead or alive

(© SONY/ATV TUNES LLC; BON JOVI PUBLISHING; AGGRESSIVE MUSIC; POLYGRAM INT'L MUSIC PUBG GROUP)

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened. She zoomed out of her cloud and down to street level as quickly as she could. She made her way to the party as Crimson Hammer's house quickly, only one though blaring through her mind.

'Crimson Hammer is….. a criminal! I've got to tell the girls!'

Chapter 25

The Forgemaster sat at the dining table for hours after the 6 had left. He thought about what had happened in the last couple of days. He thought about how his fun had almost been stopped by a crazy, paranoid mare and her friends. All he wanted to do was see how the 'Elements' operated on a daily basis, and to do that in his human form would be impossible. He figured that Zecora would have a solution for his body switching: she'd been in the Everfree for many years and had probably encountered that strange blue flower before. But then things took a turn for the worst when Rainbow Dash had reacted over a song… A SONG!

'Clearly, she has no taste in music.' He thought, cheering himself up.

He thought about what he was going to do in the future. He would visit Zecora in the morning to see about a cure for that dastardly flower. Then, he would have to find a job somewhere. His 10000 bits a year stipend wouldn't do him any good if he wasn't… well… him. He wasn't sure where he would go for the job, he could ask around, but, some problems occur. He could ask Applejack, but she obviously didn't trust him. I mean, she had flat out told him that! He could ask Rainbow for a spot on the weather patrol, but she had caused him quite a bit of trouble. He didn't fancy making clothes, so Rarity was out. Twilight had all the help she needed, so she was a no-go. Fluttershy seemed to be either deathly afraid of him, or completely normal towards him, he couldn't quite tell, so she was out. He doesn't enjoy baking, though he was decent enough at it, and he prefers keeping out of the spotlight, and with all the parties Pinkie throws, she was out of the equation. Come to think of it, farm work is also unappealing to him. The only thing that he truly felt he could do was work on the weather patrol, and that comes with awkward working conditions under a boss that simultaneously distrusted him and had sex with him.

He sighed, 'Confound these ponies, they drive me to melancholy.'

He would ask Rainbow Dash in the morning for a job, it seemed like the only possible course of action. He could have looked elsewhere for a job, but he was feeling exceptionally lazy at the moment. Birdsong came through his window so he looked, and then sighed. It was already morning; he had stayed up all night thinking. He stood up from the table; sandwich from last night untouched, and walked out the door.

He took to the air and went to Rainbow's house, not 50 feet from his front door. He landed at the base of her home, in front of the door, and reached out to knock. However, his hoof never reached its destination. The door opened just as he reached out his front leg, and Rainbow dash stood there, surprised to see him. As an awkward silence filled the air, Crimson let his hoof fall to the cloud underneath him.

He spoke, without preamble, "Rainbow Dash, I request a job."

She was still slightly surprised over his being there, but managed to say, "You wanna be on the weather team?"

He frowned, "Was I unclear?"

"No, no, it's not that. It's just, why do you wanna be on the team?"

"I need a job. Money."

She facehoofed, "I got that, but, why me?"

"I have given considerable thought to who I should go to for a job. You were the only option I could feasible attain."

She sighed, but said, "Alright, but there are some tests you gotta pass first."

The tests were varied but simple. Cloud manipulation, speed, agility, quick thinking, reflexes, etc, they were all tested. Thanks to Celestia's memories, he passed them all easily. He was somewhat shocked to find that Celestia had a very in depth knowledge of weather manipulation. But apparently, when you rule a nation for millennia, you pick up a few things.

Rainbow Dash even commented on his skill, saying, "It looks like you've done this before, Crimson."

He assured her that he hadn't, but she didn't seem to believe him.

He was hired as one of Ponyville's weather ponies, and his first shift was next week. He, however, was upset that he couldn't work sooner. There was no way he could last an entire week with the boredom that plagued him. He ached for his forge; he could feel it in his bones.

After the tests, Rainbow was kind enough to treat him to lunch. Over a pair of hay and cheese sandwiches, the 2 conversed. Well, it was more like her asking questions about him, and him giving evasive answers or half-truths. By the end of the short meal, Rainbow was incredibly frustrated. While he assured her that he had yet to lie to her, she had yet to believe him. The two of them were eventually asked to leave by the manager, as Rainbow had been getting quite loud. However, neither cared since they had both finished eating.

Though they had left the restaurant, their conversation didn't end. They wandered through Ponyville as they talked, Rainbow Dash getting increasingly annoyed as they went. Eventually, the conversation turned to The Forgemaster.

"So do you know what happened to The Forgemaster? You mentioned him earlier, but I didn't understand."

"Yes, I know."

Silence… then, "Aren't you going to tell me?"

He paused to consider it, "What, exactly, do I get in return?"

She grinned a lecherous grin at him, and then said, "How 'bout a midnight rendezvous?"

His stony face met her sultry smile, "What are you implying?"

"I think you know…"

"I've had 'midnight rendezvous' before, though they mostly involved getting out of someplace quickly."

Her smile wavered, "What?"

"I'm sure you won't understand." He said.

She puffed out her chest, "Try me, tough guy."

"I've had experiences where me and my friends had to get to a specific point so that our pick-up could get us. If we were late; we died, if we were early; we might have died, if our pick-up was late; we died."

"Just what in the hay are you talking about?" she yelled.

He smiled, "Told you."

"Ugh. You're impossible! But seriously, The Forgemaster is kind of important to me and my friends, anything you say will help us and him."

"How important? Is he one off your… special friends?"

Rainbow Dash immediately blushed and stammered out, "I-it's not like that, we-we're just friends!"

He scoffed, "Clearly, you love him. Why don't you tell him your true feelings?"

She sniffled, "Is it really that obvious?"

Crimson Hammer froze. He had just been teasing her; he had no idea how to respond to this. A teasing or an insult he could handle, but an unknowing admission of love? That's almost too much for him to handle. Unfortunately, Rainbow had noticed his reaction, and demanded an answer.

"No, it's not obvious at all. But," He said with a fake crack in his voice, messing with her once more, "I... I just thought you loved me!"

She started giggling, "Dude, I was just joking. I don't really love him."

"Oh, thank all the gods, especially Aphrodite." He said under his breath, he took a deep breath and continued, "For the record, I was also teasing you. I was just worried about the state of his mind when he figures out your feelings. False alarm, apparently."

She laughed once more, "Sure you were, bub."

He scowled at her, "If you were a bug, I'd squash you."

"Ooo, big stallion, threatening the helpless mare. Wow, chivalry is so dead." She said, dramatically.

"And mares killed it. And you're far from helpless. More like, mildly irritating."

"Ugh, you're gonna get it now!" she did the pony equivalent of balling your fist.

"First one to the end of the street and back wins!" he said as fast as Pinkie Pie on sugar, and then took off.

Chapter 26

The street that The Forgemaster had chosen for the race just happened to be Ponyville's main street. This was good because that means that it was a long street, which was perfect for what he was doing. Rainbow Dash hesitated for just a moment before she took off after him. His head-start kept him ahead of her for the first half of going up the street, but she then passed him. The racers hadn't been racing down an empty street, however; it was rush-hour in Ponyville and the street was as clogged full of pedestrians as it could get. The pair dodged and weaved around stalls, ponies, and wagons in their mad dash down the street.

He managed to stay just behind her after she had passed him. No matter how fast she went, he was immediately behind her. Which led her to believe that he was letting her win, after all; if he is able to keep up with her so well, why couldn't he pass her?

Rainbow Dash reached the end of the street first, and quickly turned around. He was so close behind her that she didn't even see him when she had turned. She immediately accelerated down the street, not wasting time to look behind her at her opponent. Dodging and weaving about the very same things she had dodged and weaved about on the way down the street, she raced down the home-stretch to victory. She crossed the point where they had previously stood, and then slowed down and turned back to gloat over the loser. Before she had even turned her head, she started taunting him.

"I win again! Yet more proof that I am the Fastest flyer in Equest-", her voice trailed off as she realized something.

Crimson Hammer wasn't behind her!

wWwWwWw

Unbeknownst to her, The Forgemaster hadn't turned around at the end of the street. He had made up the race as an excuse to flee from Rainbow Dash. He had even held back so that she wouldn't notice when he flew away. He decided to flee from the unusually aggressive pegasus and came up with the race idea because he knew that she couldn't resist the challenge. He flew, much faster than he had during the race, to the Everfree forest, and to Zecora.

Thankfully, no monster decided to attack him. However, The Forgemaster would have welcomed any attack by a monster; anything to relieve him of his boredom. Even though he has a plan and a job now, he still wanted to do something exciting. Battle, fighting, and war just happen to be some of the most exciting things an individual could do. He landed at Zecora's hut without any interruptions.

(A/N- writing for Zecora is hard, no dialogue for her!)

He knocked on the door to be greeted warmly by the relatively mature zebra. He explained his situation, and what exactly changed him, to Zecora. She told him that the plant was a flower called Poison Joke, and that it takes what one values the most, and messes with it. She said that there was a cure, but that she didn't have the herb. She was happy to help him, and would make the necessary bath as soon as she found the herb. He thanked her, reminded her not to tall anypony who he was, and then left.

He left thinking about what the enigmatic zebra had told him. Especially the part where she had told him exactly what the flower did. He was surprised that the plant had taken his memories and human form; they weren't exactly what he would all his most valued traits. But then again, perhaps he had subconsciously started to value his human form more from being around ponies. And his memories weren't exactly something he valued, but perhaps since coming to this pony infested land had made him value his past experiences with other humans more.

'Ugh, I need a drink.' He thought.

He made it back to Ponyville in no time at all. Fortunately, he did not see Rainbow Dash yet. Unfortunately, her house is right next to his. He had a feeling that she would be interrupting his sleep later that day. He managed to stealthily make his way through the town, until a loud crash echoed through the town. The crash came from the library; apparently Twilight Sparkle was up to something… again. He made his way over to the library, and was infuriated by what he saw.

Twilight had some of 'The Forgemaster's' things scattered throughout the main room of the library. While he was 'gone', she had raided his home for things to study! She had many things from his house, his clothes (AGAIN!), his armor, his clawed gauntlets, and his sword! By far the most infuriating thing he had ever seen in his life caused by the 2nd most infuriating person/pony he had ever made.

Twilight had yet to notice his entry, he had snuck in, after all. So he decided to punish Twilight for her transgressions.

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" he yelled at her, louder than sin.

She was shocked, obviously. She dropped the item she had been holding with her magic, and jumped into the air. She spun around, mid-flight, and saw him, with the angriest expression anypony could ever have. She was too shocked to respond, so he continued his side of the conversation.

"IF THE FORGEMASTER WAS HERE, HE WOULD HAVE TO FORCEFULLY RESTRAIN HIMSELF FROM MANGLING YOU! THIS IS BY FAR THE STUPIDEST THING THAT I'VE EVER SEEN!"

He quickly walked around the room and piled his, erm, The Forgemaster's things on his back. Twilight had been so startled by his sudden appearance and shouting, that he managed to gather most of the stolen things before she could react. He however, spoke before she could.

"Twilight Sparkle, before you object to me taking back the things you stole, think about what you've done. You've stolen from the deadliest being in this world, twice, and he has yet to murder you. You should count yourself lucky. Don't even say a word; nothing you could say could fix this." He said in a low, threatening voice.

He gathered all of the stolen items, and walked out of the library. Twilight had wisely taken his advice and not said a word. She now realized what exactly she had done and was quite literally shaking in her boots. She was also feeling very guilty, but her fear overwhelmed that emotion. She couldn't even move.

He turned back once he was outside the doorway, saying in a cold, dry voice, "Twilight Sparkle, you will be the end of yourself if you don't learn to respect boundaries. Be thankful that you aren't dead."

wWwWwWw

Crimson Hammer was walking back to The Forgemaster's house. It had been left undisturbed by the residents of Ponyville. Except, of course, Twilight Sparkle. He sighed and shook his head at her curiosity. Every word he had spoken at the library was true, he did have to forcibly keep himself from beating her senseless with her own hooves, and she should count herself lucky that he hadn't.

He groaned; he really was going to need that drink.

Thankfully, he past Ponyville's only liqueur store on the way back to The Forgemaster's home. He hadn't realized that Ponyville, or ponies, had any kind of alcohol at all. Except for that alcoholic punch at Pinkie's party, he hadn't seen any alcohol in the slightest. It wasn't served in restaurants, it couldn't be found at the market, and he couldn't even find the necessary ingredients to make it himself! So it surprised the hell out of him when he saw the liqueur store. He looked over and grinned at the name; Crazy Horse's Crazy Water. If that isn't something to make you giggle, than nothing ever could.

He entered the front door of the Forgemaster's house to see the interior slightly disturbed. Apparently, Twilight had to look around to find things to study.

'Thank the gods; she hasn't opened the armory.' He thought as he saw a steel door undisturbed.

He knew that had his magical wards not been in place, Twilight would have used her magic to get in there. After all, it was the only metal door in a large house; surely something that warrants that much security would be important? But, she didn't have access to her magic while in the house, thank gods.

He unlocked the door and put down the things Twilight had stolen inside, he then gathered up all the things he thought that Twilight would be interested in and put them in as well. He then shut the door and locked it once more. No sense in leaving things out where Twilight could see them, she would just take them!

Satisfied with his job, he left the house and locked the door behind him with a padlock. He still wasn't sure how he could do that with hooves, however. He made his way back to the liqueur store and entered. He was amazed at the variety, quantity, and most of all quality of the assembled liqueurs!

He walked down the aisles and felt like a kid in a candy store.

'I think adult in a liqueur store would have the exact same meaning.' He thought, and chuckled to himself.

He was happier than he had been in a long while; whoever owned this store was surely a pony after his own heart. He pulled down 3 bottles of the finest rum he could see, and went to the cash register. His purchases were quickly rung up and he was free to go with the bottles. The cashier had a question for him, however.

"Sir, why did you buy so much rum?" she asked.

He turned and as serious as he could manage said, "Yar Har, it's a pirate's life for me! YO HO!" and he ran out the door.

wWwWwWw

He wandered about Ponyville for a few minutes, not going home to drink the rum. Instead, he found a nice park bench. He lay down on it, and popped the cork on the first bottle. He took a sniff, and then a sip. He sighed appreciatively: it was some good rum.

'70 proof, cane sugar, 7 years old, don't miss whiskey anymore; I got rum.' He thought.

He was finished his first bottle and got to work on the 2nd. Many ponies were giving him odd looks, but he didn't care: he was drunk. He hadn't been drunk in so long that he didn't notice the effects of the alcohol on him. Apparently, this pony body didn't have his human one's legendary constitution. However, he was far from a light weight as he had downed a bottle and a half of another before being truly drunk. And these were hardly small, sampler bottles; these things looked like kegs with a tapered spout!

Before he knew it, he had started on his 3rd bottle, was severely drunk, and it was getting dark out. He hadn't passed out just yet, but was working on it. He would have succeeded had some-pony not interrupted him.

A female voice that he should remember, but didn't due to drunkenness said, "Why are you drinking out here on the park bench?"

Without looking up, he said, "Why can't any-pony keep to themselves? I think I've had everypony in this village talk to me, some twice. I swear, the next pony to come and talk to me will be Princess Celestia herself."

"Really? Have they been bothering you?"

He took another drink and continued, "Not a single pony in this place could ever leave another to lie in peace and drink, it's shameful, it is."

"May I sit down?" she asked.

He grunted and moved enough to make room for her.

"Would you like a drink?" He asked, offering his last bottle with a third of rum left.

She said, "No, thank you. Please have it, yourself."

He sniffled, "The best gift a drinkin' stallion can give; is a drink of the drink he's drinkin'. Please have a sip?"

She relented, "Oh fine, why not?"

She took the bottle from his hoof with magic and tilted back her head to drink. He took the opportunity to actually look at the mare that was gracing his park bench, and drinking his rum. His eyes had a flash of realization.

He said, "Oh, hi Tia!" to the most powerful alicorn in history, co-ruler of Equestria, the being he had made a blood-oath before the gods to, and current bench-mate.

She had still been drinking when he said that, and blew the rum across the street in her shock. He looked disappointed at the loss of good rum, and announced that with a childish, "Ah, man."

Then he looked closer; there was a squad of guards around a golden chariot near where she had spit the rum. And they looked absolutely, bat-shit surprised at what he had said. He turned back to Celestia who was looking at him with the same face.

He chuckled and said, "Or do you prefer Celly?"

She grabbed him about the shoulders and drew him in close, she hissed out, "Who are you, only my friends and relatives call me that, and I don't know you."

He looked sad, and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye, "I thought we were drinkin' buddies, doesn't that count for anything?"

She glared at him and said, "NO!"

He sighed and said, "I am The Ponified Forgemaster, also known as Crimson Hammer, I've been transformed by some thrice-damned flower into a pony but I found a way to turn back. Till then, I've been trolling around the 'Elements', still doing my job. Just in pony form now."

She couldn't have looked more shocked if the sun suddenly blew up.

She said, "How do I know that you're really him."

He sighed, "Your middle name is 'Jacqueline'."

Her eyes widened, "How did you know that?"

"I took your memories, Tia. I know everything about you, barring what's happened in the last few days. Don't tell the 'Elements' who I am, by the way, this has been really fun. Thoroughly depressing at the same time, but fun. And let me tell you something, those 'Elements' aren't exactly the sharpest blades in the bunch."

She sighed, "No mater your opinion of them, you are still obligated to protect them." She sighed, "I have to visit Twilight Sparkle, anyway, I won't tell them about you and you shouldn't be there if you want to remain incognito."

"Thanks Tia."

She said, "You can call me Tia, but not in front of other ponies, Royal Guards excluded. I have to go now, have a nice night."

"Thanks Tia, goodbye!" he waved to her as she walked over to the library. Unfortunately, Twilight was at the window of the library, and she caught him waving.

'Oh, shit.' He thought, before flying to his cloud-house.

Chapter 27

Now, when he was described as 'flying' home, what was meant was 'flip flopping through the air slowly, inefficiently, and with great difficulty'. No matter his inebriation or speed, he managed to get home soon enough and completely intact. He was, however, stumped on how to get through his front door, and had to pause to consider it.

Drunk as he was, he knew that Twilight wouldn't shut up about what he and Celestia had talked about. Even though she hadn't been there, she had probably watched the entire time.

'Ugh… I'm gonna have some explaining to do tomorrow…' He thought, before being interrupted by another thought, 'She's a unicorn, stay in the house tomorrow and we'll be fine.'

Though somewhat concerned that he had a voice in his head, he paid it no heed. For one, it was on his side regarding Twilight. For 2, he had gotten the door open and was walking inside. He walked on and stumbled at the door frame. As he was on the floor, he looked around and thought that his house looked strange or different somehow.

He shook it off, and got to his feet. He stumbled his way up the stairs, not trusting his wings to carry him, and turned down the hallway that leads to his room. On some unknown impulse, he felt the need to be quiet. Apparently, his drunken side was polite and didn't want to disturb anypony. It should have known that he was in his own house and didn't need to be quiet, but he was quiet just the same.

He walked to the bed, sat on it, and went through the arduous, drunken process of getting under the sheets. He succeeded, and was out like a light in moments.

wWwWwWw

He woke up the next day none the worse for wear. Hung-over, but he had felt worse pain before and paid it no heed. Not to say that he ignored the pain, that would be stupid. Ignoring pain is as easy as it is dangerous; he acknowledged the pain, but that is all. He did not let it affect him in any way, for what is pain to an ancient warrior like him?

No matter his state, he was far more worried about where he was, exactly. He took stock of where he was, and recognized the place from when he had lost his memories: it was Rainbow Dash's room! But, worse yet, his hooves were draped over Rainbow Dash's waist!

He felt that something really, really bad had happened last night. The last thing he could remember was saying goodnight to the princess. As to how he got in Rainbow's bed; he hadn't a clue.

In all this, he had yet to move. Waking up in Rainbow Dash's house was one thing, waking up in her bed is something else, but waking up in Rainbow's bed with Rainbow currently in it? That would cause some issues.

Unfortunately, that was the exact situation that he found himself in now.

'I knew that Rainbow Dash sleeps late, but I was drunk and came here past midnight and I still woke up before her…' he thought.

He knew that he was going to get yelled at for this, and probably teased too. So, he figured, why not get the first punch in? He certainly won't win the war, but at least he'll win the battle.

She wasn't awake, so he nudged her, after that failed; he nudged her once more but harder. She still didn't wake, which explains how he got there without waking her: she was a heavy sleeper, unless she had invited him into the bed. That thought hadn't occurred to him before. While unlikely, he wouldn't put it past Rainbow Dash to seduce a drunken him. Hell, he didn't put it past his drunken self to go with her. Either 2 things happened last night, either he was too drunk to remember which house was his; easy mistake and could've happened to anypony, or Rainbow Dash took it upon herself to give him a place to sleep for the night, with extra… incentives.

After that thought and that stunning display of deep-sleep, he decided that the best course of action would be to leave. He quietly, slowly, and carefully extricated himself from about Rainbow Dash, and just as carefully, slowly, and quietly got off of the bed and walked out the door and then down the stairs. As soon as he could, he took flight and went back to his house.

wWwWwWw

After that particularly hair-raising adventure, he went home and started to make himself breakfast. His kitchen still wasn't very well stocked but he had all of the essentials for a healthy diet. Except for protein.

'Damn these ponies and their herbivorous nature! Do they not know the joys of a succulent roast?' he thought.

Yet another down side to secretly spying on the locals. On top of being treated like a common fool, he couldn't even eat bacon! Surely that's a crime written down somewhere! Nevertheless, he continued onwards, living a bacon-less existence.

The rainbow juice was beginning to grow on him, however. Once you get past the tongue numbing spiciness, it's actually quite good.

Now, on to the agenda. 1, see if Rarity is done with his pony clothes. He still wasn't feeling 100% comfortable being naked amongst females, though you couldn't tell by looking at him. 2, visit Zecora. He had promised to visit after all, and it would be nice if she were done with the potion, even if he wasn't quite ready to become a human yet. He found that while being a pony was actually quite fun; he was beginning to miss his human body and would return to it soon. But, for now, the pony body was far too interesting and exciting for him.

And… that's it. His schedule for the day was markedly absent of anything interesting.

'Gods, I am bored.' He thought.

After his meal, his hangover had decided to leave and The Forgemaster was grateful. He could take any amount of pain unflinchingly, but no creature actually enjoys pain. That would be just stupid. However, this did nothing to relieve his boredom. After thinking for a few moments on a plan of action, he chose to do something incredibly stupid, but something that would alleviate his boredom.

He decided to go back to Rainbow Dash's house, sneak back in, get back in the bad with her, and then wait for her to wake up.

A fool-proof plan, indeed.

And so, idiotic plan in his head, he went back to Rainbow Dash's house once more. He found the house, the mare, and the room the exact same the way he had left it. He was happy that he had copied her exact floor design when he built his own home, it made it so much easier to get to where he was going. He walked into the bedroom, hooves not making a noise on the clouds underneath them, and walked to the bed.

'Evidently, she hasn't woken yet.' He thought as he stood next to her bed, looking at the mare in question.

Just as he had left the bed, he so entered it once more. Laying out right next to her, underneath the sheets, with his hooves draped about her waist, exactly as he had woken up.

Laying so, as a lover would, he waited for her to awake.

Chapter 28

He had been lying next to Rainbow Dash for around a half hour before she finally woke up. He decided to pretend to be asleep, and she fell for it. As she awoke, she didn't notice the hoof on her waist at first. She stretched out her forelegs and gave a quiet yawn before tensing underneath his grasp; she noticed him now. Her back was to him and she was in a very… compromising position; her first thought was that they had had sex. Well, that solves one mystery: if she didn't know that he was there then he probably just stumbled into the wrong house last night. Instead of freaking out as he thought she would, she did the relatively polite thing: she started to whisper his name.

"Crimson. Crimson, wake up." She whispered.

He decided not to 'wake up' and messed with her further.

He tightened his grip around her and whispered in a voice that suggested he was in a wonderful dream, "And that's why they call me 'The Hammer'."

She tensed even more, and then did something unexpected: she started to giggle. At first, it appeared that she was having convulsions under the sheets, but he then realized that she was, in fact, attempting to hold in her giggles. After a moment or 2, she failed miserably and started to giggle aloud.

He then started to move his hoof up and down her flank. He noticed that her wings slowly started to rise. Her giggling soon stopped after that, to be replaced with slight moans of pleasure.

So he said, "You seem to be enjoying this, Rainbow Dash."

She replied, "Ye~ah… wait! You're awake!"

She immediately sprung out of bed and turned to glare at him. What she didn't seem to notice was the massive blush on her face or that her wings were stiff and pointed up at her side.

She sputtered out, "No, what I meant was no!"

Her face, red as a tomato, only seemed to get redder somehow in the face of her own defense.

He indicated her wings and said, "Those tell me a different story."

She looked and saw her wings, and, in spite of all the colors of the color wheel, her face turned even redder. She began to search for anything that she could use for her defense, and found exactly what she needed.

She said, "Why are you even in my house?"

His reply was, "I don't even know."

It was a lie, but not a lie, too. He didn't know why he had woken up in her house the first time. He knew why he was there the second time, but, she didn't need to know that.

So he said, "Would you like to come back to bed?" with his best smirk.

She smiled at him and said, "I think I'd like that." And then moved closer to the bed.

He was freaking out on the inside. He had meant to just mess with Rainbow Dash, he didn't mean to have sex with her… again. In all fairness, the first time was a result of a serious mind-fuck. But this time was a situation of his own creation. Just then, he had a somewhat disturbing thought.

'When in Rome, do as Romans do. When in Equestria, do ponies.' He thought, then immediately regretted it.

Unfortunately, his body had heard that thought and took control.

3 ½ hours later

He left Rainbow Dash in a catatonic state, unable to move. She was far too exhausted from recent… excursions to move. He had learned several important things about himself and about Rainbow Dash. Most importantly, he learned that she is, in fact, a screamer. Hopefully, no other ponies had heard the noises coming from Rainbow Dash's cloud-house. His hopes were immediately dashed, however, as he looked down from the edge of the cloud house. He saw what appeared to be 5 ponies on the ground, looking up at the cloud-house. He noticed the familiar array of colors and deduced that they were the 'Elements'.

He certainly didn't want to speak with them, and realized that the voice from earlier was correct: he could just hide in his cloud-house for a few days. He flew across the small gap that separated the 2 houses and went inside his own. He quickly found his shower, turned it on, and hid there, wallowing in his self-disgust, for 2 hours.

His damnable pony instincts had made him sleep with a pony! He had only wanted to embarrass or humiliate rainbow Dash, he didn't want to sleep with her!

'Well, shit.' He thought.

He then chuckled, 'At least it wasn't boring.' He thought.

Twilight's POV

1 Hour Earlier

She had been having the most wonderful lunch, hay-flower sandwich with fresh apple juice, when she was interrupted by a loud scream that echoed throughput all of Ponyville. She dropped her sandwich half-way to her mouth, and then quickly bolted out of the store, running to where the scream had come from.

The only thought on her mind was, 'Dash.'

She ran far faster than she thought she could, too startled to even remember that she could teleport, and made it to Rainbow's house several minutes later. Well, not exactly to Rainbow's house, more like the ground immediately underneath Rainbow's house. Her friends showed up soon after her, all were staring up at the house where the noises were coming from.

They all had similar thoughts running through their heads.

'It sounds like she's being tortured!' Thought Twilight.

'What kind of un-mannerly beast could do something like this to poor Rainbow Dash? It's the WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!' Thought Rarity.

'Oh dear. Oh my. Oh dear. Oh my.' Thought Fluttershy, repeatedly.

'Ah'm gonna buck the tar outta who's doin' this tah poor Rainbow!' thought Applejack.

What Pinkie Pie was thinking shouldn't be told, as whoever's reading this might die from exposure.

Twilight, while still thinking about what could possibly be happening to Rainbow Dash, quickly took charge.

"Alright girls! We need to get up there and put a stop to whatever is going on!" she said.

"But how, Twi? Only pegasus here is Fluttershy, and Ah ain't about to let her go up there all by her lonesome!" Applejack stated.

"But we can't just leave the poor dear up there!" Exclaimed Rarity.

"You're right, Rarity. But what can we do from down here? We'll have to get up there to help. Any suggestions?" Twilight asked.

Just then a much larger shriek from Rainbow Dash was heard. And then it was quiet for a few minutes, before the noises started up again in full force.

"Twilight, why don't yah jus' teleport us all up there?" Applejack asked.

"No, I couldn't. I would have to cast the cloud walking spell too, and I can't do both. I don't have the energy."

"Then what are we suppose to do, just sit here and wait while somethin' awful is happening to RD?" Applejack asked.

"Of course not, silly filly. We'll just use my trampoline!" Pinkie said.

"Yeah! And Twilight can cast the cloud-walkin' spell so we can stay up there."

"Then you would just impact the bottom of the cloud. You will have to take a running jump, Applejack, and I'm not sure if you should try. If you miss the house or don't go up high enough, you won't land back on the trampoline. I could catch you with magic, but I couldn't do it all that many times." Twilight said; the voice of reason… for once.

"Girls…" came a quiet voice from the ground.

"Yeah, Fluttershy?" asked Applejack.

"What if she's not being hurt?" she asked.

"What do yah mean? Can't yah hear that? If she ain't bein' hurt then what's…"

Applejack stopped mid-sentence. Fluttershy and she both started to blush. When Twilight noticed and asked, she was told and began to blush as well.

"I don't think that's what's happening, girls, that doesn't sound like… that." Twilight said.

"Shhh! It's stopped!" Pinkie said, the girls noticing the lack of screaming.

The mares all looked up at the cloud-house. After a few moments, a head peeked out of the cloud and looked down at them. It retreated a second later, but then the pony it belonged to jumped off of the cloud-house and flew to the one floating not more than 50 feet away.

"Well, that solves that riddle." Said Twilight.

All of the 5 mares gathered were blushing horribly. They realized what they had been doing; they had been listening to the sounds of their friend's passionate love-making with Crimson Hammer and they were all horribly, horribly embarrassed.

The Forgemaster

Present

When The Forgemaster awoke, he was still in the shower. Apparently, he had fallen asleep in the shower after his misadventure with Rainbow Dash. The water was still on, and was still warm for some reason. Then he remembered that he had taken the prototype from rarity's house without her knowing. No matter how much water he used, he still felt dirty. That prank had not gone to plan at all!

He rose from his watery grave and turned the shower off. He stepped from his bathroom and into his living room, and was stunned at what he found. There, on his coffee table, was a poster of the Wonderbolts. He picked it up and un-rolled it.

He found a letter inside the poster and opened it, it read: Thank you, for that.- RD

Evidently, it was from Rainbow Dash. He looked closer at the poster and found, much to his surprise, that every one of the current Wonderbolts had signed it. It must have meant a lot to Rainbow Dash, and she had given it to him. That puzzled him: he hadn't really done anything interesting to earn this.

He found a pin, and hung the poster up in his living room. Rainbow Dash would appreciate that he put the poster in such a visible place.

He looked out the window and found that it was still daylight out. He was happy that it wasn't nighttime yet; he still hadn't done his errands for the day.

He leapt from his home and flew to Rarity's boutique to pick up his clothes. He knocked, but nopony was home. He entered and found the outfit on a nearby mannequin. He took it down and tried it on. He found it to be exactly as he had wanted it; the 'Assassin Cloak' was just as it would be on a human, only on a pony. He left a note stating that he had taken it and flew off to do his other errand; Zecora's potion.

He flew off to the entrance to the Everfree forest and looked in. He supposed he could understand why the ponies were so frightened of the forest. It did look sort of dark and foreboding. But he wasn't afraid at all, it's just a forest full of mindless monsters and evil, magical plants.

'What could go wrong?' he thought, and then he thought, 'DAMNIT! Why did I think that? At least I hadn't said it out loud…'

He instantly regretted thinking that, if past experiences were anything to go by than he was about to have something awful happen to him. Poor Jonathan, William, Zaphoria, Vincent, Pvt. Fovi, Quentin, and the city of Detroit, you will be missed. He remembered exactly what happened each time they had said, 'What could go wrong?', and it had never ended well for them, especially not Detroit.

With a heavy heart, he continued into the forest, knowing that something awful was going to happen.

And he was right.

Not 25 steps into the Everfree and he was attacked by a manticore.

This led The Forgemaster to question how many types of monsters there actually were in this forest. He had been attacked by 2 other manticores, 3 counting this one; he had not seen a different kind of creature yet!

He hadn't even seen it coming. It just burst from the forest right next to him and tackled him. He was sent flying. The creature didn't choose to press its attack, and that's what doomed him. Unfortunately, the Forgemaster had noticed where exactly the manticore had hit him when he stood up.

The Forgemaster quickly stood from the tackle, and took in his surroundings. Then he looked down. At his feet… was a small cluster of more Poison joke. And he was PISSED OFF.

When he looked at the manticore, his eyes had turned black. No pupil, no sclera, no iris, just one solid black surface.

He yelled at the manticore, "I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE SPECIES!"

The next few minutes are nothing but a blur in his memory. When he exited his berserker rage, he noticed something very interesting.

There wasn't a living thing within 50 feet of him in any direction.

All the trees were smashed, all the animals had fled, and the manticore didn't seem to have a bone in its body that wasn't broken. Apparently, when he gets pissed off, nothing lives.

Then he noticed something peculiar: the small cluster of Poison Joke was completely intact. The only living thing within 50 feet was the thing that he wanted exterminated more than anything.

He walked off, found the path, and continued to Zecora's.

Chapter 29

The Forgemaster quickly ran down the path to Zecora's hut. He had no idea what the 2nd dose of Poison Joke would do to him, but he felt that getting to Zecora's would help him fix anything that might go wrong. He found himself at Zecora's hut shortly. He knocked on the door and waited for her to greet him. Moments later, she did. She looked at him, and then looked around, satisfied that nopony was near, and she invited him inside.

"I was so happy to find you at my door, for I have found the herb I was looking for!"

"Good, good. Zecora, I have a question: if somepony currently suffering from Poison Joke were to get another dose of Poison Joke, what would happen?"

She waved him off with a hoof, and indicated the bath he was supposed to get into. He got into the bath and started to lather the soapy mixture all over his body. After a few minutes, the mixture started to work, unfortunately.

With the most blinding and agonizing pain imaginable, he began the long 2 hour process of becoming a human again. All of his fur fell off, his bones all realigned, and his hooves basically melted into fingers again. This all came with the felling of being dipped in acid whilst on fire while simultaneously having all of your bones dislocated and then popped back into place multiple times. Needless to say, it was a fairly uncomfortable experience. He blacked out after the first hour of torture.

He awoke the next day on the floor of Zecora's hut, fully human. Then he realized something important: he was naked again!

'What is it with this place and making me naked?' he thought.

He attempted to stand up, but couldn't get his balance. Being a quadruped for a few days really messed with his motor functions. That, and there was an uncomfortable weight on his back that he couldn't place. He spent the next several minutes on the floor of the hut trying, and succeeding, to get his motor controls under control. After being used to the pony body, his human body would take some getting used to, too. He'll probably be fully adapted in a matter of hours; this was, after all, his normal form.

After several more minutes, he stood successfully this time. He reached back to discover what was on his back and was surprised at what he found.

He had wings.

They were just like his pony wings only proportioned to his body. That meant that they were huge!

'One upside to blinding pain and evil plants: wings' he thought.

Zecora, who had been absent, chose this exact moment to walk into the hut. The Forgemaster remembered that he was naked and covered himself.

"Thanks Zecora, but I should go. Bye!" he said, running out the door.

As soon as he remembered that he could use magic again, he turned himself invisible. He continued down the path to Ponyville, anxious to get into clothes. As he walked, he thought about the previous few days. The ponies would probably be wondering where, exactly, Crimson Hammer went. But, they didn't have to know that he was Crimson Hammer, it might make things… awkward between him and Rainbow Dash. Then, he would have to explain his wings and probably why they look exactly like Crimson hammer's wings.

'Ugh, even Twilight Sparkle is intelligent enough to put 2 and 2 together.' He thought, 'But then again, sometimes she gets 22 instead.'

He chuckled at the thought. It was true; Twilight did have an unfortunately long track record of spontaneous insanity and over-reacting.

He then became depressed at what lay ahead of him: hours and hours of talking with Twilight, explaining where he was, why he went there, how, what, who... Twilight Sparkle wouldn't leave him alone until either he or her was dead.

He returned to his home in seemingly record time. He found most of his home the same way he left it, although he noticed that it was disturbed even more than from when he was here last time. Apparently, Twilight had been there once more after he had returned the things she had stolen.

He found his clothing inside the armory, the one place she hadn't disturbed. That was where he had put his clothing after Twilight had stolen them the 2nd time. She would have taken them because that was the one place she would be sure to find his runes. He quickly dressed. He couldn't fit his shirt or overcoat on because of his wings. He would have to go to Rarity to get them all fixed.

He walked out his back door to the enclosed forge area. While he would've enjoyed forging at the moment, he was far more interested in flying with his human-sized wings. After a few trial runs, he found that he could fly just as well as he could when he was a pony. As he was satisfied with his results, he went back to his house. He went into his armory and retrieved his sword and his clawed gauntlets. Weapons in hand, and on hands, he flew out to the Everfree forest and got to work on exterminating the manticore species.

He managed to kill 14 before he couldn't find any more in this section of the forest. So he went home, feeling satisfied that the manticore menace was going to be killed, by him.

wWwWwWw

The entire town of Ponyville awoke to a sound that they hadn't heard in several days: the sound of metal on metal. The loud noise reverberated throughout the entire town, waking those ponies that were not already awake. It's not like he was hammering metal at 6 am, it was actually Saturday and the ponies were sleeping in.

Twilight Sparkle and her friends, however, weren't as upset at the rude awakening because the noise meant that their human guardian has returned! The 6 quickly gathered at the large structure that served as The Forgemaster's residence and workshop. As they did so, the ringing from his forge stopped. They waited not 12 seconds before he stepped out of home to greet them.

"Twilight Sparkle, stop stealing my things." He said, without preamble.

The ponies were too stunned to respond. They were staring at him and his new-found appearance. When he had left, he didn't have wings. He found the staring to be fairly rude. They hadn't spoken to him yet and didn't seem to be able to any time soon, so he just went back inside. He went through his home and back outdoors, to his forge and the rapidly cooling metal sitting near it. He picked it up with his tongs and began to heat it once more. He had been making a small gift for Rainbow Dash, something in exchange for the poster she had given him, even though she had given it to a now false character.

He had just picked up his hammer and was about to beat the metal into the shape he wanted when he realized that the group was right behind him, they had finally gotten over their shock and had followed him. Twilight was unfortunate enough to speak first.

"Forgemaster, where were you these last few days?" she asked.

"Twilight Sparkle, in light of all your recent thievery, I will not tell you." He said, over the hammering noise.

"What?" asked Twilight.

"Ever since I arrived here you have been nothing but a thief and annoying to me. If you hadn't asked and merely had some patience, I would have told you in time. 7 days, 4 hours, 58 minutes, and 28 seconds."

She didn't have a response to that, so The Forgemaster spoke to the others.

"Rarity, I seem to have grown wings. You wouldn't mind terribly if I asked you to alter my clothing to fit them?" he asked.

"Not at all, dearie. Just bring them by my boutique later on and I'll fix them for you." She replied.

He turned to Rainbow dash, "Rainbow Dash, I've heard from my friend Crimson Hammer that you 2 are close. Would you care to comment on that?"

She immediately blushed, but said, "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Fine, if you don't wish to comment on the status of your love life in front of your friends, I won't judge you. By the way, he left Ponyville for some reason or other, and won't be back anytime soon."

When he said that he had left, she didn't believe him.

"What! There's no way he could have left town. He's probably just visiting a friend, he'll be back soon." She said, sticking up for her 'friend'.

The Forgemaster felt badly about putting Rainbow Dash through this, but there was no way she would like the truth any more. In fact, she might just try to kill him.

So he said, "Rainbow Dash, Crimson Hammer's sister had been stricken with a terminal disease, he went to be by her side during her last few months amongst the living."

A horrible lie, but it was better than anything else he could think of. It worked anyways, she quickly stopped talking.

He turned to the rest of the ponies, sorrow over his lie evident on all of their faces.

He said, "If any of you see a beautiful, blue flower in the Everfree forest, don't go near it, stay away from it, and for the love of the gods; don't touch it! It will hurt you. It is evil."

Applejack spoke up, "So how did yah get them wings, anyway?"

He took time to look directly at Twilight and smile at her, before looking back to Applejack and saying, "The flower I told you about is called Poison Joke, and it gave me these wings, and it was the single most painful experience of my life."

"WHY!" asked a very… exuberant Pinkie Pie.

"Well, Pinkie Pie. Have you ever broken a bone?"

"YEAH! There was this one time at the rock farm when I was picking up rocks then a rock rolled down the hill and I was like 'OH no a rock slide!' and my family was like 'Move Pinkie!' and I was like 'Huh?' and then I got hit by a rock and I broke my leg and I couldn't walk for 2 weeks!"

"Do you remember how bad breaking that bone felt?" she nodded, "Well, now imagine that every bone in your body broke, then healed, then re-broke repeatedly for 2 hours. Then imagine that bones started to grow through the skin on your back, tearing through the skin like a sharp knife, which then started to grow feathers. And that's the story of how I got my wings!"

The ponies all looked disgusted by the way he described it, but in reality it was much, much worse.

"Who wants to go play in some Poison Joke?" he asked, raising his hand.

Nopony raised their hoof to join his in the air.

"Then there may be hope for you yet." He said.

The 6 left soon after that. He kept working at his forge, making the gift for Rainbow Dash.

It was a necklace of Rainbow Dash's and 'Crimson Hammer's' cutie-marks intertwined. It came on a finely crafted golden chain and was enchanted with runes.

He waited until nightfall, when everypony was asleep. He took off from his home, taking the gift with him. He made his way to Rainbow Dash's house and looked through her bedroom window. He saw her lying underneath the covers, fast asleep.

He went in and placed the necklace on her sleeping chest and then flew back to his house.

Chapter 30

(A/N – Adult Spike chapter, (SCREW CHRONOLOGY ONCE MORE BROTHERS!!!!), just to make things clear; no matter the series chronology, this all happens before The Gala- I'll be doing the Gala eventually.)

The entirety of Ponyville was woken up the following day once more by the sound of hammering of metal on metal. The Forgemaster was using his forge for the first time in days, so he has been using it as often as he could. The resident ponies probably didn't appreciate the early morning wake up calls, but The Forgemaster provided a very important service to the town.

This particular morning, he was fixing Big Macintosh's plow. He had cracked the plow down its center when Big Mac had accidentally driven it over a large rock in the ground. After that, he had to make a gift for the young dragon Spike. However, fate has a way of interrupting his plans. Out of the sky came a blue meteor with a rainbow tail flying behind it, and it appeared to be yelling at him.

"Forgey!-"

*CRASH*

He spoke to her without looking up from his work.

"Good morning, Rainbow Dash." He said to the blue pegasus who was lying in a heap off to his side.

"O~w! What did I hit?" she asked while rubbing her head with a hoof. Her eyes were pointing in different directions and spinning around.

"I run a forge and most of my supplies are out here," he looked over at her, "You appear to have crashed into a pile of iron ingots. That would explain your pain."

He continued to hammer at the almost-fixed plow while Rainbow Dash gathered her senses after her crash. It took her but a few moments and a quick head shake to return to her non-derpy state.

"I wanted to show you something Forgey!" she fumbled around in her saddlebags.

He looked up from his work, "Did you just call me Forgey?"

"Yeah. Why, don't like it?" she grinned at him while still looking through her saddlebags.

"I have a feeling that no matter what I tell you, you will continue to call me Forgey. Am I right?"

"Yep." She said, giggling to herself.

"You have something to show me, young one?"

"Who are you calling- oh wait. Right, centuries old immortal, sorry. Anyway, here's what I wanted to show you." She revealed a small necklace and tossed t to him.

It was the gift he had given her last night, but she doesn't need to know that.

He picked it up, and looked at it closely in the light.

"Hmm, this is decent work. Looks like a farewell gift from Crimson Hammer. He was always like that, hopeless romantic. But this is something more than that. Look there's an inscription on the inside: To: Rainbow Dash, from: Crimson "TFM" Hammer. Wonder what the anagram means; he never had a nickname as far as I know. Hmm, an excellent piece, if I do say so myself. Whoever made this knew what he was doing…"

"What, you don't think a mare could do it?" she asked, clearly joking with him.

He looked her dead in the eye and said, "This particular piece? No, there's no way that a female was involved in the creation of this necklace."

"What!"

"I'm a Forgemaster, no, I'm The Forgemaster. I should know these things." He said, handing the necklace back to Rainbow Dash.

"Ugh, stallions." She rolled her eyes, "You gonna be ready for Spike's party?"

"I'm going to begin on young Master Spike's gift right this moment."

He turned back to his forge, the plow now repaired. He began on his gift for Spike.

"What are you gonna make for the little guy?" she asked, looking over his shoulder.

"He seems to be dragged off by Rarity to dig for gems every other day. So I'm making him a new shovel; something that will cut through the ground faster than any other shovel or his bare... claws… could dig."

"Ugh… you're getting a shovel for Spike? Oh, Celestia that's a stupid idea."

"Gifts are supposed to be practical. At least, that's what I prefer. That necklace, for instance, when I made it; I put runes on it so that it would be more than just a pretty bauble."

"Yeah, I see what you mean." 3.. 2.. 1.. "WAIT! You made this?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me!" she was getting upset now.

"I did."

She took out the necklace and held it in her hoof while looking at it.

"This is beautiful, Forgey." She said, with a tear in her eye.

"Thank you.

"Why did you make this for me?"

"He wanted to."

She left soon after that, slowly flying through the air back to her home, all the while looking at her new necklace.

Technically, he hadn't lied throughout the entire conversation. He prefers not to lie if can help it, but he enjoys half-truths and evasive answers.

He looked down at the metal he was making, and prepared to make the best damn shovel this world had ever seen.

If nothing else, the Forgemaster was absolutely devoted to his craft. If he was going to make something, than by the gods, he was going to make it right.

wWwWwWw

Later that week

The Forgemaster had completed his gift for Spike. An appropriately sized shovel, enchanted enough that if necessary, it could cut through the Canterlot Walls. It would probably be faster to dig under them with this shovel, but, if one needs to go through a wall: one needs to go through a wall.

He entered the library just in time to see Spike attempting to run away from Twilight Sparkle. But each time he ran, he was teleported back to Twilight's side with her magic. Eventually, her magic failed, but she managed to teleport Pinkie Pie in instead. Pinkie Pie distracted Spike long enough that Twilight was able to wipe his face with a cloth.

'Silly ponies, all that for a dirty face?' he thought.

After that, all of the other 'Elements' showed up simultaneously. They proceeded to pile gifts onto Spike until he collapsed. The Forgemaster walked over and helped Spike up. As he did so, he whispered into spike's ear.

"Mares." He said, causing Spike to chuckle.

"Here's your gift Spike." He handed the unwrapped shovel to Spike.

"Um, thanks?" Spike said.

The Forgemaster paused, "Is it not customary for on to receive gifts on the anniversary of one's birth?"

"Well, yeah! But, I only ever got one gift, from Twilight, a book."

"It's just a shovel, young one. You should be able to assist Rarity much better in the future."

"Gee, well, thanks." The young dragon replied.

The Forgemaster then went into the corner, as was his custom, and watched over the 'Elements' as they celebrated. After a while, Pinkie Pie walked up to him.

"Forgey! Why aren't you partying!" she yelled, right into his ear.

"I never have a celebration for another year on this rock. I gave up long ago, I can't even remember the day of my birth."

Dumbstruck, Pinkie yelled, "WHAT!"

"After the first couple centuries, another year isn't all that much. I've taken to having decade parties now, and even that is stretching my patience. I don't even know what decade I'll be on, but the next one'll be in 7 years."

Pinkie, not fully grasping what he said, screamed, "REALLY!"

"Yes, pink one."

"I'll throw the bestest decade party for you ever! I'll need cake and cupcakes and streamers, I wonder if I can get the town hall for the party. Ooo, this I so exciting!"

She ran off, leaving a confused Forgemaster in her wake, he called after her, "It's in 7 years, Pinkie Pie!"

The other ponies in the room were looking at him oddly. With a bow, he took his leave of the party. He went back to his place and gathered his weapons. With, his sword and his gauntlets once more, he went into the Everfree Forest to kill more manticores.

He truly had a distaste for the manticore species.

He came back later that day with his latest kill dragging behind him. He was planning on cooking it up for food. No matter how many ponies told him that eating meat was wrong, he still needed protein in his diet. He could've eaten a whole lot of nuts and other protein-rich plants, but he found that eating meat was always a better option. He stepped from the Everfree forest to find that much of Ponyville was in ruins, and that ponies were running around in fear.

'Ugh… I'm gone for 5 minutes, and this is what happens!' he thought.

He noticed that a large purple and green dragon was wandering around the town. Apparently, the dragon was the cause of the destruction.

'Looks like Spike's grown up!' he thought, and then he looked closer at the destruction, 'Looks like his adolescence was almost as bad as mine.'

This was true; The Forgemaster couldn't remember much of anything before his… incident. But, he could remember most of his century long child hood better than most of his other memories. His adolescence had been almost a decade long, and he had destroyed several villages before he managed to get control of his emotions.

He dropped his dead manticore meal, and walked over to the town. He walked down Ponyville's main avenue, walking without a care, as all the resident ponies ran around him in a crazed fear.

Rainbow Dash noticed his arrival and flew down to meet him.

He spoke before she could, "Looks like Spike is having a merry time growing up."

"How do you… Never mind, c'mon, we need your help stopping him!" she said.

He cracked his back, and started stretching, "I've killed a few dragons in my day, but Spike's your friend, you sure you want him dead?"

She looked at him, horrified, "No, I don't want him dead! Just, stop him from destroying Ponyville."

He walked off towards the adult Spike in the distance, "Yes, I'll just go restrain a rampaging adult dragon with nothing but my bare hands. See you later, Rainbow Dash."

He took a running jump, and then started to lazily and slowly fly to Spike's position.

Rainbow Dash caught up to him in an instant.

"Why aren't you going to him?"

He grunted at her, "The situation will resolve itself, in time."

"What do you mean?"

He took a sideways glance at her, "He just needs to be shown the error of his ways by a friend. I don't think kicking the absolute, living, crap out of him will help to resolve his situation. Could be fun for me, though. But, I think we should just let Rarity fix this."

"What in the hay could Rarity do?"

"Hell if I know."

After a few minutes of fighting, Wonderbolt intervention, and more slow flying, the situation did indeed resolve itself. On the bridge after the situation had been resolved, all the 'Elements' gathered for a quick R&R and a debrief. The Forgemaster leaned over the bridge while the ponies were talking amongst themselves.

"By the gods, those Wonderbolts are pansies. They got taken out in 1 hit." He said in the 'Elements' general direction.

Of course, Rainbow Dash spoke up in their defense, "At least they tried to do something. They even took off some of his spikes! You didn't do a thing, you just flew around him."

He glared at her, "Fine, the next time one of you turns into a monster with the very real possibility of turning back to normal if shown some kindness, I'll just kill you, no fuss, no muss. I'll just take out my sword, and then take off your head. How does that sound?"

The ponies just looked at him, Rainbow Dash glaring.

"I'm more worried about Spike though, what was happening was his adolescence, I wonder if he'll ever become an adult since you've stopped it."

Twilight spoke up, "Yeah, I see what you mean. But dragons live a long time. I'm sure he'll become an adult some day."

"Stop speaking of Spike as though he were not here, Twilight Sparkle. It's very disrespectful, not to mention rude."

"Ugh! Why do you always pick on me for everything I do!" she screamed out.

"You are supposed to be the leader of these 'Elements', Twilight Sparkle. But you don't have what it takes. I'll have to make you have what it takes to be a leader. You have to have courage, honor, and be calm under pressure, amongst other things. But, you're a coward, a thief, and you crack under pressure. You've yet to even demonstrate mental stability to me yet, so I'll have to work on those later, and focus on making sure that you're sane."

"So, this whole time; you've just been trying to make me grow as a leader?" she asked.

"Yes, though it's not like it wasn't fun for me either."

Chapter 31

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait… So you're saying that we all have to go stop a giant dragon from destroying the kingdom?"

Twilight nods.

"Finally! It'll be just like a quest from back home: 6 heroes, 1 dangerous foe, a kingdom shattering event. Ah, good times. Let me go get some gear."

The Forgemaster walked back into his home, leaving the 'Elements' on his doorstep. They had come to his house to tell him that Princess Celestia ordered them to stop a dragon from covering Equestria in an impenetrable cloud of smoke for a hundred years. The ponies followed him into his home.

The Forgemaster was in the one room she had yet to extensively study: The Armory.

They walked into the room to find the room covered in storage bins and shelves, everyone of them filled to the brim with weapons, armor, and other important devices. The Forgemaster was digging through a bin marked: 'Miscellaneous'.

As the ponies approached him, he had a stack of weapons ready to distribute. At the sight of the dangerous-looking equipment, Fluttershy fainted. Rainbow Dash went to help her.

Twilight spoke up, "What are you doing with all of those weapons?"

He looked at her as though she were an imbecile, which in his mind she was, and said, "What are we gonna do, ask the dragon if he would kindly move?"

"Actually…" she trailed off.

"You're serious, aren't you?"

Twilight nodded her head, giving a sheepish smile.

"And what are you going to do when the dragon attacks? Ask it kindly to not crush your skull into so many pieces?" He sat down on the crate, and with his head in his hands, said, "By Celestia's beard, this is the most hopeless group of heroes I've ever come across. You don't even have a back-up plan if shit goes down! Twilight Sparkle, you're supposed to be the one with every conceivable plan for every conceivable thing that goes wrong, and you don't have one for the most obvious?"

"Celestia has a beard?" asked Pinkie Pie.

"Gods, I ask that you take this stupidity from me, deliver me from this idiocy, in your names, I pray. Amen."

He got up and walked out of the armory. The mares were following him.

"Come on; if we're gonna do this, the sooner the better."

The group started to walk towards the mountain the smoke was coming from. Nopony noticed when The Forgemaster picked up a clipboard and a pen. The ponies and he formed a line as Twilight paced before them, giving them a briefing on the situation. The entire time, The Forgemaster was taking notes.

As she was speaking, The Forgemaster made these notes:

Sufficient route mapping. No clue Fluttershy is afraid. Not prepared for cold weather. No morale increasing speeches. Conclusion: awful leader, good planner.

After the unusual preparation speech, The Forgemaster and the 'Elements' walked down the path that would lead them to the dragon. Well, he was walking; the mares were running fairly fast.

wWwWwWw

The group made it to the mountain in no time at all. Twilight had yet to discover that Fluttershy was deathly afraid of continuing, much to The Forgemaster's chagrin.

The rest of the 'Elements', barring Fluttershy, started to climb the mountain. They had made it up the cliff face a good 50 feet before they even noticed that Fluttershy wasn't with them. Or, for that matter, that The Forgemaster wasn't with them.

After a bout of yelling, and unknowingly insulting Fluttershy, The Forgemaster decided to step in. On this particular quest, and on all quests involving young heroes-in-training, The Forgemaster took a spectator's role. He didn't interfere unless someone was going to die, or they were going to fail the quest. But, he felt that he could contribute this once, if only to speed things along.

He picked up Fluttershy much the same way he did back in the Everfree forest and started to fly up the mountain, keeping pace with the ponies next to him. Fluttershy was attempting to thank him, he thought, but she was much too quiet for even his ears to hear what she was saying.

As he and Rainbow Dash were flying up the mountain, and the rest were climbing, Twilight made the unfortunate decision to strike up a conversation with him.

"So, Forgemaster, I've been meaning to ask; how do you and Crimson Hammer know each other so well?"

"Twilight Sparkle, because I know that if I don't answer you, you will become temporarily mentally unstable and endanger the quest, I will indulge you just this once. Crimson Hammer and I met in the Everfree forest; we quickly became friends, and discovered, to our joy, that we were, in fact, blood brothers."

"But, he's a pony and you're… you!" Twilight said.

"What I mean to say is: we have 2 bodies, but one soul."

"That doesn't tell me anything!"

"I do not know how to make it any clearer than I already have, Twilight Sparkle."

She just grumbled in reply.

What The Forgemaster said was true. He did 'meet' Crimson Hammer in the Everfree, meaning that he had become Crimson Hammer in the Everfree. He and Crimson Hammer do share blood, so to speak, and if you were intelligent enough to notice, they do in fact have 2 bodies but only the one soul. This is because both are, in fact, him. Twilight Sparkle didn't know that and he didn't want to volunteer the simple answer. He told her the whole truth, but said it in a way that made Twilight confused.

"Knowledge is power, Twilight Sparkle, hide it well."

"Is that why you won't tell me anything?"

"I've told you quite a bit, you just haven't seen it."

"What? I don't understand."

"Not a word I've ever spoken since meeting you has been false, Twilight Sparkle. It's just that sometimes, your feeble little mind cannot understand the complexity of my simple words."

"Are you calling me dumb!"

"No, I'm saying that you do not understand the information that is clearly presented to you."

Twilight and he quickly stopped speaking after that. Twilight mostly because she knew she wouldn't get anything out of him, and The Forgemaster mostly because he only ever wanted to speak to Twilight if she spoke to him. He enjoyed toying with her, asking something of her would give her the opportunity to toy with him. And, he didn't need to learn anything about Twilight; Celestia's memories had everything he had ever wanted on the mare, and more.

After a quick rest stop on the flat area they had climbed up to, the group continued down the path.

The Forgemaster set Fluttershy down as there wasn't a steep incline to be climbing anymore.

She and he were walking at the back of the group. Him; to better observe how the 6 were acting. Her; because she was frightened. She felt comforted by The Forgemaster's presence; he was acting like a protective older-brother to her, or so she thought.

Soon enough, they came across a tiny gap in the path. The rest of the group jumped across with ease, but Fluttershy was too frightened to jump. After a song from Pinkie Pie, and some encouragement from the Forgemaster, she jumped across herself. The Forgemaster didn't need to jump across, he just stepped over.

He found that while flying was always nice, he liked being on the ground more. Something about the way that he wouldn't die if he fell appealed to him.

The group trudged onwards to the goal that was set. Even after several inopportune events, the group trotted along just fine. Twilight warned about them being in an avalanche zone. But, there was time to strike up another conversation, this time with Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow Dash, did you bring your amulet along with you?"

She started, before saying, "Yes, and thank you for it. It's really quite beautiful. I can't believe that Crimson Hammer would do something like this."

"Yes, he did commission a fine piece. Do you wish to know exactly what it can do?"

"Of course! You just said it had some weird rune thingies in it, you never told me what it could do!"

"When you press down on your cutie mark, it becomes a small knife. When you press down on Crimson Hammer's, it sends out a message to him and I, so one of us will be along if you are in trouble. Only use it in an emergency, it wouldn't do if I showed up because you just wanted to talk to Crimson Hammer."

"Really! That's so cool!"

She pressed down on the depiction of her cutie mark, and just as he said, the entire pendant piece started to change forms. When it stopped, it was an intricately decorated and rainbow colored blade. She gasped at the sight of it.

"How did you even do this!" she screamed out.

Unfortunately, she had forgotten about them being in an avalanche zone. Just as Twilight had warned, an avalanche started. From his perspective, it appeared as though it were raining large and dangerous rocks. Thankfully, his head was harder than any rock.

A few moments later, and multiple destroyed rocks later, the path forward was blocked. Once more, the group got to climbing. He picked Fluttershy up again, and carried her over to the other side. As they flew, they talked.

"So, Fluttershy, how is your first quest going?"

"It's awful! It's scary and terrifying and… and… I'm just so frightened." She whimpered.

"Shh… It'll be alright, Fluttershy. Just trust in your friends, they'll see you through this."

Her friends chose that exact moment to intervene on the touching moment. Then Twilight announced that the large cave in front of them with smoke pouring out of it was, in fact, the place we needed to go.

"Really, Twilight Sparkle? That's where we need to go? I never would have guessed."

She glared at him before assigning duties to her friends. When she tried to assign a duty to him, he just shook his head.

"I'm just an observer here, Twilight Sparkle, I'll intervene if you're about to die. But, that's really it."

She sighed, angrily, and then continued to get her friends in order. The second she said that Fluttershy was going into that cave, he knew that the plan was going to fail.

But, as his role as trainer of heroes, he allowed heroes to make their own mistakes.

After numerous failed attempts at getting the dragon out of his cave, and numerous notes written about the status of these heroes, Rainbow Dash went into the cave.

While the most straightforward of the tactics used so far, it was the least likely to succeed. After all, they didn't even have weapons to combat the beast. He was severely disappointed in his young heroes.

After getting knocked aside like so much dust and ashes, the group was huddled in fear at the base of a broken rock, which Fluttershy happened to be hiding behind.

The dragon wasn't looking at her, or the others, he was looking directly at The Forgemaster. As the only creature left standing, he was the nearest threat. Though, he was sure that the dragon didn't consider any of them an actual threat.

'Ugh… Twilight Sparkle, I really hate your messed up thought process. I knew this would never work.' He thought.

While he knew that he had the dragon's attention, he felt it was best to keep the attention on him. He did so with a tried and age-old tactic.

"Dragon! You are a tiny and insignificant beast that is so insecure in its own body that you feel the need to bully those smaller than you to make up for your lack of size! I'm sure the other dragons all insult your tiny stature, and I agree with them! You are nothing before my glory!"

This dragon was pissed.

Though he had shot smoke out of his mouth at the ponies, he was shooting fire at The Forgemaster. Who, in turn, put up a magical barrier in time to block the flames. He then turned the dragon's tactic back at him, shooting fire out ofhis mouth to burn the dragon. Unfortunately, it didn't affect the dragon at all. Living in a constantly fire-filled environment will make you immune to fire. But the surprise evident on the dragon's face provided the time for one of his little heroes to save the day, just as he thought she would.

"How dare you? How dare you! Listen here, mister. Just because you're big doesn't mean you get to be a bully. You may have huge teeth, and sharp scales, and snore smoke, and breathe fire. But you do not- I repeat- You do not!Hurt! My! Friends! You got that?"

Fluttershy worked up enough courage from seeing her friends hurt that she interfered with a duel between the most dangerous creature alive, and a dragon. She placed herself directly in the line of fire, as it were, flew onto the dragon's snout, and started to berate him.

"Well?" Fluttershy asked.

"But that rainbow one kicked me." The dragon said back to her.

Off to the side, Rainbow Dash nodded to herself.

"And I'm very sorry about that. But you're bigger than she is, and you should know better. You should also know better than to take a nap where your snoring can become a health hazard to other creatures." Fluttershy told the dragon.

"But that hairless one called me names."

"I'm very sorry about that, too. But you were hurting those under his protection."

"But I-"

"Don't you 'but I' me, mister. Now what do you have to say for yourself? I said, what do you have to say for yourself? "

Fluttershy actually made the dragon start crying.

"There, there. No need to cry. You're not a bad dragon; you just made a bad decision. Now go pack your things. You just need to find a new place to sleep. That's all."

With nothing but her persuasive powers and guilt, Fluttershy saved the day. Just as The Forgemaster predicted.

"About time Fluttershy, I was afraid I would actually have to hurt the little guy."

"WHAT! You weren't going to hurt him; he was gonna smash you like a bug." Rainbow Dash yelled at him.

"None of you have any faith in my abilities because you have never seen them. That doesn't mean that that dragon had a chance in hell of beating me."

"Ugh, fine."

"Fluttershy, you are my new favorite 'Element'. Not only are you adorable, but you're also competent, my favorite thing in the world is competency! I don't see much of that in the others."

"Oh, um… that's nice." She said, blushing furiously.

"Hey! You can't pick favorites." Rainbow Dash interjected.

Completely ignoring her complaint, he turned around and said, "Let's go home!"

He reached down and picked up Fluttershy off of the ground he then placed her on his head so she could ride the way home on him. With an 'EEP', she finally settled down on top of him.

She spoke to him from her perch, "B-but, what if the dragon comes back?"

The group turned to see the dragon flying away with most of his haul.

"Don't worry; I have a solution to that problem in my bags."

He reached into his bags and brought out a few strange looking bags, he levitated them to inside the dragon's lair and then stood back. He told the group to run away, down the path. Once he judged them far enough away, he pulled out a much smaller device and handed it to Fluttershy.

"Push the big red button on that, please." After a moment's hesitation, she did so.

With a *BOOM* that could be heard from Stalliongrad in the farm north, the entire top of the mountain was blown to pieces.

Fluttershy was shivering from fright on top of his head. He took her down and cradled her in his arms.

"There are very few problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. Remind me to thank Pinkie Pie later."

Chapter 32

(A/N – Trixie episode.)

The Forgemaster had been taking a nap inside of his home, when a noise akin to a traveling carnival woke him.

Now, The Forgemaster isn't an easily irritated individual, but he doesn't like being woken up by loud noises. His personality leads others to believe that he is always irritated, but that's usually not the case. However, in this instance, he was.

"Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

The Forgemaster quickly got out of bed and opened his window, leaning out of it, he screamed at the pony speaking, "Hey! Shut the fuck up! There are people trying to take a nap!"

The 'Great' and 'Powerful' Trixie seemed to not hear him, which would be impossible at the volume he was speaking, so he knew that she was just ignoring him. He got dressed and left his home to give this unicorn a piece of his mind. He joined the group of ponies that were gathering. He saw the 'Elements' and went to stand by their side. The 'Elements' didn't seem to notice his approach.

The mares were speaking amongst themselves about the boasting that the show mare was doing on stage. They didn't seem to appreciate her boasting. However, the unicorn on stage noticed their grumbling.

"Well, well, well, it seems we have some naysayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?"

"No they don't, you insignificant worm. Please enlighten us as to how you managed to gain that title, even with all evidence to the contrary." The Forgemaster fired right back.

"Why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!"

Fireworks went off around her stage.

"When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!"

The villagers gasped in awe, and more fireworks exploded around Trixie.

A pair of the villagers, sniveling fools named Snips and Snails, agreed wholeheartedly that Trixie was indeed the most magical unicorn in Equestria.

Spike spoke up to refute those claims, using Twilight as an example. Well, he tried to. A zipper appeared out of the air to zip his mouth shut.

"Don't believe the Great and Powerful Trixie? Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians - anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!"

The 'Elements' took up the challenge, and were all put down, hard. Applejack went first, twirling a rope around until Trixie tied up with her own rope. Rainbow Dash went next, flying very fast before creating a rainbow with water droplets, until Trixie used the rainbow to create a tornado to fling Rainbow Dash away. Rarity went after, against some extreme hints making Twilight go next, rarity started to berate Trixie for her lack of class and then made a dress out of Trixie's curtain, but hen Trixie basically destroyed her hair.

The Forgemaster made the mistake of laughing quite loudly at Rarity's expense. Loudly enough that Trixie noticed him.

"Well, what about you ape? Do you have any sort of talent?"

He wasn't fazed by her insults, and wasn't taunted into destroying her, "While it's true that my species' distant relatives are apes; I find that my kind is quite a bit more sophisticated and developed than our simple cousins. I prefer to be called a 'human' if anything, but you may refer to me by my title as well; The Forgemaster."

"Ooo, a fancy title. That means you must at least be good at something."

"I am good at everything, insignificant show mare."

"You think that you are better than the Great and Powerful Trixie?"

"I know I am, foolish pony."

"Come on then, let's see what you can do."

"My arts are practical, not theatrical. I cannot just show you something, I require a challenge to be issued."

"Well, let's start with a boasting match."

"Ah, just like the olden days, I'm feeling all nostalgic, nowadays, they just kill each other. As the challenger, you may go first."

Taking a stance, she yelled out, "I am the Great and Powerful Trixie! I have traveled all over Equestria and I've not found my equal! I've banished an Ursa Major and am the most powerful unicorn in Equestria! And I will win this challenge like I've won all of the others."

After a few moments of silence from all watching, The Forgemaster spoke.

"Are you done tiny pony?"

Trixie nodded.

With a voice completely different than Trixie's, not boasting or haughty, but calm and weighty, he spoke. In a normal speaking tone, not loudly as Trixie had done, he spoke with confidence and with an age that defied his features, nopony couldn't not hear his voice, quiet though it was, it carried weight that reverberated throughout the town square.

"They call me The Forgemaster, and I've earned my rank. I've traveled a quadrillion miles and lived a thousand years. I am immortal and have always been, since the dawn of recorded history and to the depths of my memories. I am responsible for the development of my entire society, nothing resembling civilization occurred without my aid. I've killed millions of enemies and saved billions of innocents. I am called 'The Wind of Death' by my foes, and 'The Light of The Gods' by my allies. I am the most powerful creature that has ever lived. Gods bow at my passing, demons tremble at my sight. I am 'The Butcher of Gibraltar', 'The Ghost of Gaza', 'The Favored of The Gods, 'The Lion of Britain', 'The Shield of The Emperor, 'The Beast of The Himalayas', 'Champion of the Princesses', 'Primarch of The Spartans', and I know no fear." He shouted his titles at the end.

An awed silence greeted his words.

He spoke once more, "I will give you this one opportunity to withdraw your challenge."

Quaking in her hooves, Trixie's persona spoke up for her, "I will not."

"Name your challenge."

"Uh… never mind." The show mare said, taking a step backwards.

"A wise plan, insignificant creature. However, the challenge still stands. I nominate Twilight Sparkle to stand in my stead."

The mare in question was standing nearby, staring at him in shock. He walked over and waved his hand in front of her eyes. She didn't react.

He turned back to Trixie, "The challenge will be tomorrow evening."

He then picked up Twilight and took her back to his home. Once there, he put her in his sink and poured water from the spout onto her. She immediately snapped out of her funk from the running water.

"Twilight Sparkle, you are hereby ordered to participate in a challenge under my name."

She starred at him in shock once more, long enough that he turned the water back on. She sputtered and blew water out of her mouth, but at least she was conscious.

The other mares from her group of friends found their way to his house soon after he set Twilight into the sink, and were now snickering at what was happening. To them, it looked like a parent was washing their new-born foal in the sink for the first time. The size difference was correct, the species were different though.

He picked Twilight up and gave her a towel for her to dry off. Once wrapped in the towel, he brought her into the living room and set her down on the couch. The others quickly joined her.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Twilight spoke up.

"What was that, Forgemaster?" she asked.

"That, Twilight Sparkle, was the customary ritual between 2 individuals who consider themselves powerful. After the traditional boasting match, she quickly realized that she was nothing before me, so I offered her an easier challenge; you."

"How can you just do that without asking!" Twilight was understandably upset.

"Easily, you just watched me. Didn't you notice?"

"Ugh, you just entered me in a contest that I don't want to participate in." Twilight grumbled.

"Well, you are participating. My honor is on the line now. Come on twilight Sparkle, if you do this, your punishment will be up today…"

She brightened up at that, "Really!"

"Well, it was actually done a few days ago, you just didn't notice. But, the punishment is hereby extended until after the challenge is done, and Trixie is run out of town."

She glared at him with something similar to fury in her eyes, but his eyes evaded her gaze. He looked around the room, at the other 'Elements', at the pantry, at the ceiling. Finally, he spoke.

"I really don't want to do this, but, the rest of you ought to apologize to Twilight Sparkle; she was hurt by your words against magic."

The ponies were stunned by what he had said; after all, it was the first time that he was seemingly nice to Twilight. After a second, they started to apologize to the unicorn in question.

"The rest a'you, get out. Twilight Sparkle stays; she needs to learn how to win."

The mares all did as he told them to do, leaving Twilight alone in the house with The Forgemaster.

"Alright, young Padawan, you have a challenge tomorrow. You are going to win, easily, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't practice."

"What'd you call me?"

"Nothing, come, let's go out back."

He led her out back and gave her some of his books on basic magic. Even though it was basic to him and everybody else back home, to her it was all new information. Apparently, the ponies had gone a completely different route up the proverbial magic mountain.

Whilst she was practicing, he was making something on his forge that will help her greatly in the coming challenge. It was an amulet, but it had some of his trademark runes on them. These particular runes increase and store the presence of magic, acting like a battery of sorts that she can tap at will. By the end of the day, she had learned much, and he had finished with the amulet. It would feed off of background magic and store that, but it also drained an imperceptible amount from Twilight, herself. He told her to sleep while wearing the amulet, in the morning; the amulet will be full, and Twilight will be none the worse for wear.

wWwWwWw

The next day, everything was completely normal. Everypony went about their day as though nothing special was going on. Twilight and her friends were worrying themselves into comas, and Trixie locked herself into her cart. After some additional training, Twilight was ready. Now all they had to do was wait for the time of the challenge, slated to begin at 8:00 p.m.

Well, that time came around and all of Ponyville gathered to watch the spectacle. Even The Forgemaster showed up. He stepped up onto the stage and sat down next to one of the columns and leaned on it, appearing to take a nap. Trixie was glaring at him for being on her stage, and then realized exactly who he was and what he could do, so she wisely looked away.

As the challenge was about to begin, a loud roar was heard from nearby.

Snips and Snails, who were curiously absent earlier, now came to the front of the crowd.

They told Trixie that they had brought an Ursa Major for her to vanquish like she did the other one, once and for all proving that she was the most magical pony in Equestria.

Said Ursa Major now put in an appearance, right behind all of the ponies gathered. With an angry ROAR, it announced its presence. All of the ponies panicked, running, and flying, every which way, trying to get away from the rampaging Ursa.

Trixie, Twilight, and The Forgemaster were on the stage that seemed to be the center of its attention.

The Forgemaster lifted his head from its napping position and said,"Twilight, Trixie, your challenge has arrived."

Both Trixie and Twilight tried to vanquish the beast. Trixie going first, and failing miserably. Twilight going second and succeeding in getting the beast back to its home in the Everfree forest.

After a few hours of getting everypony gathered, Twilight, Trixie, and The Forgemaster were on stage once more. The Forgemaster stood in between the 2 on the stage. He picked Twilight up off of the round and held her up to his shoulder.

"I announce Twilight sparkle as the victor of this challenge. As the pony that stood in for me when I nominated her, I hereby give her the glory, the spoils, and the honor earned during this spectacle."

He set Twilight down and then pointed at Trixie.

"Trixie has lost. As per the terms of our agreement, she is to hereby leave Ponyville at her earliest possible convenience."

Trixie then left, creating a cloud of smoke and running off into the distance. The 'Elements' all went back to the library to have a celebration. The Forgemaster was invited as well. It turned into a slumber party, and once again, The Forgemaster was simultaneously unprepared and forced to stay.

Needless to say, he was mildly upset, but he stayed for the small party.

In the interests of fairness, he allowed Twilight to keep the amulet he had given her. She thanked him profusely for the gift.

As the party was winding down, he noticed that Rainbow Dash was sitting in the corner, looking down at something in her hoof. He approached her and noticed that it was the necklace he had given her. He looked at her face and noticed that she had a tear in her eye. He was confused, but knew what was wrong.

"You really loved him, didn't you?" he asked.

With a heavy sigh, she said, "Yeah…"

"How? You didn't know each other all that long."

"I don't know. It's just… difficult to explain." She sighed once more.

"Was he that good in bed?"

She blushed, but said, "Well… yes, but that's not just why I love him."

"Have you ever considered that he doesn't return the feelings?"

"I-I-I don't know. I-It doesn't matter, he will love me."

"You can't make someone love you, Rainbow Dash; you can only stalk them and hope for the best."

She giggled, "You're like him, you know. You're almost the same guy."

"I've had that thought cross my mind many, many times."

Chapter 33

Immediately after lunch the following day, Rarity was on an errand to The Forgemaster's house. Ever since he had returned, he had been making more and more of his hot-water tanks and sales have been booming. Both Rarity and The Forgemaster had made many, many bits from their deal and rarity was delivering The Forgemaster's share of the bits to his home. With a gentle, ladylike knock, Rarity announced her presence.

"Enter." Came The Forgemaster's voice from within.

She found him in the kitchen, cooking a meal the likes of which she had never seen, but it smelled delightful. It smelled of garlic, onions, and spices, with a much more powerful masking it all that she couldn't quite place.

"Good afternoon, Forgemaster. I'm here to deliver your share of the bits. I must say, the ponies in the heartland love your invention. But, in Stalliongrad, they are paying as much as 1000 bits for one tank alone! It's very cold there, you know, so it's understandable. Any who, your half of the bits comes up to… 178200 bits!"

The Forgemaster looked up from where he was preparing his meal.

"Why, thank you Rarity. Your skill at selling our product is only surpassed by your dressmaking ability. I actually had a few more ideas for clothing for me; I'll give those to you later, as I'm busy at the moment. It gets dreary wearing the same thing day after day, it may be different individual clothing, but it all looks the same. I'm sure you understand. Please, place the money on the table. I would invite you to stay and eat some of this lunch with me, but I'm afraid that you won't find this meal very… palatable."

"Oh, nonsense, dearie. I wouldn't dream of interrupting your meal." She sniffed the air appreciatively, "I say, it smells positively divine! What is it?"

He proceeded to describe his meal, pointing out each part of the meal as he said it, "This salad here is your basic Caesar's salad, the drink is an excellent vintage, Fremont Valley Groves, circa 134 B.N., which I discovered that the local shop had for sale. And that part over there on the spit over the fire is manticore."

(A/N – The year unit is 'Before Nightmare', basically; the year Nightmare was imprisoned on the moon. About… 1134-5 years prior.)

"M-M-M-Manticore!" Rarity asked, too shocked and horrified to even yell it.

"No; manticore. It only has one 'M' in it, Rarity."

"What are you doing with it!" Rarity had regained her senses enough that she could at least scream the question.

"I'm cooking it, so that I may eat it without getting a stomach virus. You must always cook meat very well; the creature might have parasites or a virus that I don't want. Cooking the meat kills those."

"You are going to eat manticore!"

"Yes. I chose to eat an animal that most consider dangerous or a pest, so that nopony will miss them when I kill them. It's better than killing Fluttershy's animal friends, isn't it?" he cocked an eyebrow.

"Ugh! I'm truly disgusted by your 'meal', as you put it. I bid myself adieu."

Rarity then hastened out of his home.

He called after her, "Griffons eat meat, too!"

No matter other species' eating habits, Rarity could barely keep her own food down. But, she could hardly hold it against him: it was in his species' nature to eat meat, after all. She had dealt with worse, she supposed.

He shut the door after her, as she had not closed it when she left. He brought his salad and his wine to the table before going back to the spit with a knife. He cut off of the carcass a large steak, thick and juicy; it would more than satisfy his craving for meat. Though he certainly didn't need to eat the meat to survive; old habits die hard. He always went hunting in his native land, no matter the weather or his current work deadlines. It was always nice not having to pay for a meal that you could literally go get yourself.

However, the Everfree forest, the one he currently hunted in, greatly confused him. While there were a great many animals and species inhabiting the forest, there was only one predatory species that he had encountered. Manticores are the only thing resembling a predator that the forest had. And there were tons of manticores! One couldn't simply walk through the Everfree and not see a manticore!

It was infuriating!

The Forgemaster had been honest when he insinuated that hunting Fluttershy's animal friends would be a bad idea. Many times in the forest he came across an animal that he knew Fluttershy wouldn't want hurt, so he didn't hurt it. He found the idea of hurting those she cared about distasteful. Unfortunately, that left literally only one species he had found so far that he was able to hunt with impunity.

Manticores.

Not that manticores were anything bad, but, he was getting used to the taste of manticore. The flavor grew on him and it no longer had a taste of newness about it. Manticores certainly had a unique flavor. The taste that he hadn't found in any of the things he used to hunt he found in a manticore, but he was growing accustomed to it and there weren't any other things to hunt that he had found.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster had finished his meal and had cleaned up after himself. He had counted out the bits and found that there was exactly 178200 bits there. Rarity's attention to detail was as strong as ever.

But, the day was still young and he didn't have much to do that day.

However, fate decided to give him a helping hand on this particular occasion.

Rainbow Dash.

Having seen Rainbow Dash's habits, he knew that it was only a matter of time before she crashed through one of his windows. Through much investigation and a suitable application of higher mathematics (Finally), he laid out his cunning trap. In his investigations of the houses previously affected, he found that Rainbow Dash often crashed after attempting one of her tricks which then fell flat or she spun wildly out of control. Her training field was to the north of him, and she always started on the East side of her field, the right side, and worked her way across to the West side, the left side.

The other victims noted that the incidences occurred later in the afternoon, later than earlier in her training schedule. That led The Forgemaster to believe that Rainbow Dash either attempts more dangerous or new stunts at the end of her training period, after she had done her previous material. That fact led The Forgemaster to conclude that Rainbow Dash crashed so often was likely due to fatigue or loss of concentration due to fatigue.

So, he had a time, and therefore an angle, he had a direction, now all he needed was where she would end up once inside his home. Complex scenarios and simulations played through The Forgemaster's head, leading him to the conclusion of where exactly she would end once entering his home.

He set his trap, and waited for when Rainbow Dash would spring it.

It was on this day that the trap was sprung.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-"

*CRASH*

Perfect, everything went perfectly.

Rainbow Dash lay where she had landed, stunned. She shook her head and cured her momentarily disabled motor function. She then looked up from the floor to see the oddest sight yet that day.

Her cutie mark.

*WHAM*

A half dozen blueberry pies slammed into her from all angles, which was immediately followed by a barrage of cherry pies, then apple pies, blurpleberry pies, and finally another round of blueberry pies.

Completely covered head to hoof in the remains of 30 pies, Rainbow Dash finally heard something from whomever had done this to her.

LAUGHTER.

Rainbow Dash immediately flew up into the laugher's face. She couldn't see much of anything due to the pie chunks being in her eyes, but she knew where the pony was laughing from because she could still hear him.

"What was that for!" she screamed at the pony.

Whoever it was grabbed a towel and started to wipe her face off. As soon as her eyes were clear, she looked at whoever it was that had done this to her, and then gasped as she caught sight of him.

The Forgemaster was standing in front of her, towel in one hand, pie in the other, a gigantic grin on his face.

"That was for fun." He said, and then slammed the pie into her awe-struck face.

Booming laughter filled the room for many minutes, long enough that other ponies appeared at the door. They started to laugh at the sight in front of them, but he waved them home and shut the door. He began to wipe rainbow Dash off in earnest this time, and didn't slam another pie into her face once she was cleaned. After she was cleaned, he wrapped her in the towel and set her on the couch. He then began to clean up the mess. The mess he had made was easy to clean because he had prepared for this moment: the nearby walls and floor had been covered in a thin plastic tarp, so all he had to do was wrapped it up and throw it out. The chair he had expertly positioned to catch her would require some additional cleaning, but the prank had been worth the cleaning it would take.

He sat down next to her on the couch, her still wrapped in a towel, and handed her a glass of the wine he had had for his lunch. She accepted it eagerly and then splashed it across his face.

"That was uncalled for, Rainbow Dash."

He picked her up and used the towel still wrapped around her as a washcloth.

"Why did you do that to me?"

"Honestly Rainbow Dash, I thought a mare like you would appreciate a good prank."

She glared at him for a few moments more, before smiling and laughing.

"Yeah, that was a pretty good prank. How'd you do that, anyway?"

"As all good prankers know, it required a lot of planning. I studied you and your after-effects for many hours to set this up perfectly." He reached over to the table and picked up a file, he then offered it to rainbow Dash "Here, this is your dossier. Everything I learned about you that I needed to create this prank."

She looked at the large file and her eyes widen, "Jeez, this thing is huge!" she then looked at him, "Yah, know, if I was any other mare, I would find this kind of attention creepy."

"I'll give you the run down on how I did this so you don't have to read the dossier if you want."

She smiled sweetly at him and nodded.

"Well, after consulting the other victims of your window smashing, I discovered that you always crash from the direction of your training field. I also found that the longer you train, the further to the West of the field you get, I also found that most crashes occur later in the afternoon than earlier in the morning. In fact, 9 out of 10 crashes that you were involved in happen from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. So that gave me a time, an approximate angle, and a direction. All that I needed was to place the chair in the way of the window most in-line with those statistics and prepare the traps."

She looked at him as though he were stupid.

"There's no way you did all of that just to prank me."

He smirked and walked over to the chair that had caught Rainbow Dash. Grabbing it, he took it over to Rainbow; he brushed off some of the pie and pointed to the only thing distinguishing it from the other chairs at his dining table.

There, sitting high on the back of the chair, was an insignia sewed into the cloth backing that she recognized on an instinctual level.

It was her cutie-mark.

He chuckled at her amazed look; he leaned over and whispered into her ear, "That chair has been sitting there for days."

She gasped and then punched him playfully on the shoulder.

"You numb-skull! Why did you do all of that to me?"

"Rainbow Dash, it was the most fun I've had in several days."

They both laughed at that.

He looked down at her thoughtfully for a few moments, "Rainbow Dash, I believe I have come to the point in our relationship where I may comfortably call you Rainbow or Dash. Is that acceptable?"

She punched him in the shoulder again, "Of course it is, you silly filly!"

He looked around his home for a moment, "Rainbow, more time has been spent here than I realized. Would you mind helping me with something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"I'm going to tether Crimson Hammer's cloud house to mine."

Her face seemed somber for a moment, before brightening again, "Sure, I'll help!"

He had noticed the look that crossed her face, however, and said, "Rainbow, I know that for some reason which I cannot fathom you love Crimson Hammer." He sighed, "I'm going to have to tell you a story about him one day that will either cause you to hate me… or something else."

She looked questioningly at him.

"I'll tell you at a preferably much later date." He sighed once more, "Come on, we had better get his house tethered before it floats away."

Chapter 34

After Rainbow Dash and the Forgemaster had finished tethering Crimson Hammer's home to his, she wouldn't stop pestering him.

"PLEASE! Just this once and I'll never ask you again!" she said in a begging, pitiable voice.

"Twilight Sparkle, I would love to answer your meaningless questions, but I'm afraid that I am quite busy at the moment."

Immediately after the cloud house had been tethered down with high tensile cloud wires, Twilight had shown up at his front door, wielding a notepad and a quill. Rainbow Dash had quickly flown away, stating that she had no desire to be near Twilight as she questioned him. The words Rainbow Dash had actually used were far less kind, however. After being invited inside and treated to a nice cup of tea, Twilight began to question him. He refused to answer her questions, leading to the current situation.

"What do you have to do!" she screamed at him, clearly suspicious.

He began to detail each part of the rest of his day, stressing each and every part of it. It truly was not much work, but the way he said it made it seem as though he had to save the kingdom 3 times before supper and then go rescue a crowd of foals from a flaming hospital, all the while being chased by an angry manticore. It would have fooled practically anyone; unfortunately, Twilight was too intent on him to care about the problems he had detailed. She was far too focused on the things running through her own head; she probably didn't even hear a word he said.

At the end of his impressive speech, she simply nodded her head and said, "I see what you mean. Now, how about these questions?"

He shook his head at her, "You didn't even hear a word I said, did you?"

"Of course I did!" screamed Twilight, a manic smile growing on her face.

He looked at her for a long moment before saying, "I see from your… cheery disposition that you have finally snapped. Well, I might as well answer some, if only to hopefully cure your diseased mental faculties."

She began to laugh maniacally, "YES! YES! YES!"

She started to bounce around him in a circle screaming 'Yes!'

After quite a few minutes of that particular brand of insanity, he brought a chair over, and sat down on it. Twilight did the same with her magic after she had calmed down.

"So; let's get started, shall we? Question number 1; what are humans like?"

"They are bipedal omnivores that are often pushed to extremes. Usually by small purple unicorns."

Twilight didn't seem to notice the sarcasm evident in his voice.

"Question number 2; do you have ponies in your homeland?"

"Yes."

"What kinds of ponies?"

"The accurately named; Earth ponies."

"You don't have pegasi or unicorns!"

"No, they've tragically gone extinct." he then muttered so Twilight couldn't hear, “The stupid blighters.”

"Okay… Well, I've noticed that you reference these 'gods', what are they?" she waved her hooves around as she said 'gods'.

"I would really rather not bring religion into this conversation." He said with a sigh.

"What's religion?" she asked, as innocent as can be.

"Religion is when someone believes in a god, and creates ways to properly worship said god."

"So what's a god?"

"You should know; Celestia and Luna are your equivalent of them."

"So, they're your rulers?"

"No… It's complicated; they are beings that people put faith into, even though they never actually see them, usually. Suffice to say that the reason you lot don't have any gods is because you already have gods in Celestia and Luna, and since they are living and breathing gods, you haven't taken any other gods, or had cults form because your gods are easily visible."

She was writing everything he said with meticulous, painstaking accuracy.

"So what gods do you, 'believe' in?"

"All of them."

"Huh. Who are they?"

"There are too many to count."

"Why do you believe in so many?"

"If even one person believes in a god, that god has power. If a god loses all of his followers, then he dies. If I believe in all of them, then they never truly die. And, if they never truly die, that means that many of them owe their continued existence to me. Having a couple gods owe you can be a real trump card."

"Really?" she asked, incredulously.

"Of course! Gods are omnipotent, metaphysical beings; having even one on your side makes you a winner."

She scowled at him, "I'm learning nothing relevant here. Let's try another question. How do you know so much about us?"

He barked out a laugh, "HAH! You ponies are so very easy to read: sometimes it's like you're books with the words on the outside. I just have to read the words. It's probably your large, expressive eyes. And those ears, too. The pegasi have wings, which is also an indicator of emotion. Put it all together and it's like trying to interpret the most obvious poetry ever written!"

"Are we really that easy to read?"

"No. I just made up everything I just said." He said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Ugh. Stallions. I have more questions: why do your moods switch so rapidly? I mean one minute, you're goofy and pulling pranks, and the next moment you are stoic and completely serious. I don't get it."

He rolled his eyes, "That's the point, Twilight Sparkle. You aren't supposed to get it."

"Huh?"

"I hide my cold, dead, emotionless interior with my personality shifts."

"WHAT!" Twilight was understandably upset.

"Think nothing of it, Twilight Sparkle. Onto the next question!"

Shaken, Twilight went back to her list, "Alright, do you have any family?"

"Probably."

"What do you mean: probably?"

He grinned, "Let me put it this way. Twilight Sparkle, do you know how… colts and fillies are made?"

"Yes, of course."

"Well, during the long life that I've led, I've met a fairly large amount of women."

"I don't understand; what's a 'women'?"

"A woman is a female human. Women is the plural form of that word."

She blushed, bright red, "Oh… Y-You mean…"

"Yes, Twilight Sparkle; I probably have children and grandchildren to the nth degree out there somewhere. Though, I'm sure that my siblings and parents, if I had any, are all long dead by now. In fact, I don't believe I even had parents in the traditional sense at all."

"Wait, you aren't sure if you had parents?"

"Twilight Sparkle, even though I'm sure I've said it to you before, I'm immortal. Immortality doesn't spawn randomly in children. It is not a genetic mutation. I was almost definitely created by some god somewhere to assist in some task, and once it was done, he let me go. But, it's anyone's guess; I may just be a criminally insane god that came to live amongst mortals!" He started to laugh maniacally after he said the last sentence.

Twilight said, "Well, as unlikely as that sounds; it would explain quite a few things."

"True. Hmm, you know: I could've ruled my homeland much the same as Celestia had here."

"Oh, really?" she asked, in a condescending tone. She was probably upset that he has yet to call Princess Celestia by her proper name, that being with the 'Princess' part attached, and even more upset now that he had said that he could have done the same as she had.

"Yeah. I definitely could have. I didn't want to though."

"Why not?" She asked, suddenly curious.

"Well…. Aside from a distinct lack of ambition, I suppose that I really just don't enjoy giving out orders. I was usually in a position of respect or authority. But, to actually hold people's lives in my hands? I couldn't do it. Not for long, anyway. I've lead armies before, but never for long. One month, or 2, I think my longest campaign was 4 and a half years long. And that was annoying."

"So you were a soldier?"

"Yes, I've been most things ever. Hell, I even worked in a tavern once as a barkeep. I never had to be on the campaign trail for long because as soon as I joined, we seemed to start winning the battle. I was a legend back in my homeland, at my presence entire enemy armies would surrender to me, and my battle-brothers would fight with fervor almost unheard of. Just because they knew I was there. To be honest, I kind of liked the feeling. And soldiering, for all of its hell, had a certain… charm to it."

"What do you mean, you though being a soldier was entertaining!" Twilight asked, horrified.

"Twilight Sparkle, humans have practically turned war into an art form. The true master of the art never even had to fight a war, because they had already won it and the enemy knew that." At her confused face, he said, "A famous war-master once said, 'Never go into battle without having already won the war.' Meaning, don't fight unless you know you not only can win, but will win."

"That actually sounds like sound advice… from a race of super-destructive barbarian murderers." She spat at him, she clearly hadn't though well of his views on war.

"Hey now, I wouldn't go calling the entire human race a bunch of barbarians. We're actually quite sophisticated. But, there are many super-destructive barbarian murderers in my homeland. I mean, just look at the Gaelic tribesmen of old, that's what I call a race of super-destructive barbarian murderers."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, curious as to what he would think of as super-destructive.

"Well… you've seen me naked before, remember."

She blushed and nodded.

"Well, conjure up an image in your mind as I describe one of the Gaelic berserkers to you: he's a man, like me, completely naked, running straight at you, screaming bloody murder at you the entire way, he has an axe raised over his head, he's covered in the blood of previous foes, and, to top it all off, he has a raging erection while doing it."

Twilight had closed her eyes and her frown became more pronounced the more he spoke. Until he mentioned the last sentence, then she gasped and blushed furiously. He giggled at the sight.

"Let me tell you, those guys scared the absolute shit out of the Romans. Never has the sight been duplicated: a mass of angry, aroused, heavily armed, and naked men running straight at another group of men. That other group of men would either hold firm and be slaughtered or flee and be slaughtered. The aftermath was always… messy."

Twilight looked at him, jaw almost hitting the floor, "Is that really how humans fight!"

"No, that's how the Gaelic tribesmen of old used to fight. And it was brutally effective… until the enemy started wearing armor, I suppose. But, anyway, it was for the psychological effect. The enemy would be scared and lose cohesion at such a sight."

"Psychological effect? You mean humans try to use the enemy's mind against them?"

"Yes."

"You humans are barbarians, there hasn't been such a war in Equestria for hundreds of years."

"Well, all that means is that you are overdue for one. I wouldn't be surprised if one comes up soon."

"Are you really trying to predict a war based on the time it's been since the last one?"

"No, I am predicting. If I was trying, I wouldn't have said anything with a definite attitude and yet I did, therefore I am not trying."

"Ugh. I am leaving. I didn't get anywhere, anyways."

"Bye Twilight, Sparkle! Have a nice day!" he cheerily called after her.

'Now what to do…' he thought.

wWwWwWw

In the end, he just decided to work his forge until sundown.

He awoke the next day with a familiar presence in his room. He looked over at the window and saw that it was open. He began to scan the room around him, and yet saw nothing. He still felt as though someone was there with him, so he continued to search. He stood from his bed, and looked through his entire room, top, bottom, and sideways. He finally found what he was looking for in the form of a light blue pegasus in his closet.

He opened the door to his closet and said, "Rainbow, what are you doing in my closet."

For her part, Rainbow Dash wasn't looking at his eyes, or even his face for that matter. Her gaze was directed… a little bit further south. She was also bright red, come to think of it.

He followed her gaze until he just now realized what exactly she was looking at. He promptly shut the door and went back to his bed. He covered himself with the sheets and then went back to the closet and opened it once more. In his still half-asleep daze, he had momentarily forgotten that he sleeps in the buff.

'Now I have to give my windows the same treatment I gave the rest of my house. And locks too.' He thought. 'Why do I seem to always be naked around these ponies?'

With the door now open, he reached in and took down some of his clothes. Rainbow had the decency to snap out of her daze and she left his closet. He headed to the bathroom to dress and Rainbow stayed in his room until he returned.

"I gotta ask you somethin', Forgey."

"We're friends, apparently, Rainbow. You can ask me pretty much anything."

"Well, what's up with that." She pointed a hoof at his waist.

"It's a penis; you should know how one works. Now, why were you in my closet?"

"Well… Why do you sleep naked!"

"That's irrelevant, Rainbow. Now answer the question."

She sighed, "I was trying to hide from Pinkie."

"She's been annoying you lately, hasn't she?'

She sighed again, "Yeah."

"Don't worry; I made my home Pinkie-proof. Specific runes in the floor that reinforce the laws of physics, she won't be able to get in here unless someone let's her in."

She groaned, "That's no good! I have to meet my friend Gilda today so I'll have to leave eventually."

"I'll just go to your place and tell her to come here. You won't even have to leave here."

"No, that's not right. It won't do any good hiding from Pinkie. I might as well face her sooner rather than later."

"That's surprisingly mature for you, Rainbow."

Rainbow flew off, out of his window. He made sure to close it behind her. He would need those locks sooner, rather than later. He went out to his forge and began to make reinforcements for all of the windows on his house. Everything from locks to metal bars, he fortified them all.

He went out after his exertions and went to get some food from Applejack's stand. On the way there, he passed a griffon, who was muttering to her/himself about something the Forgemaster couldn't pick up on. Unfortunately, the griffon and he were on a collision course.

"Hey! I'm walking here!" the griffon, now revealed to be a female, yelled out.

"So was I, I guess that means one of us will have to move." He said aggressively, he did not like her attitude at all.

She reared up to meet his glare, "HAH! What are you gonna do about it, ape?"

"I'm going to chop off your head and mount it on my mantle." he said in a calm manner, the only indication of anger being his eyes.

The griffon shut up after that, she had seen the raw fury in his eyes and felt that it was best no to anger the creature further. She wisely stepped out of the way, letting him pass. She had a feeling that he would have done exactly as he had said if she had done anything.

wWwWwWw

Later that Day

He had been invited to a party to welcome another pony to Ponyville. Only it wasn't a pony, it turned out to be Rainbow Dash's friend Gilda, who also turned out to be a Griffon. A series of embarrassing pranks took place on Gilda, which the griffon seemed to think that Pinkie Pie had done. After insulting Pinkie Pie, she rounded on him.

"And you! The ape, I bet you were in on all of this!" her anger had clouded her earlier judgments about him.

He growled at her, "If I was, I assure you that my pranks would have left far more… permanent damage."

"You threatening me!" she put her face in his; this griffon clearly didn't know who she was dealing with.

He licked his lips, "No, I'm wondering how you taste." He whispered so that only she could hear.

She gasped, and recoiled in horror. She decided to turn back to the easier target: Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie Pie, you, you are queen lame-o with your weak little party pranks. Did you really think you can make me lose my cool? Well, Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together. Come on Dash, we're bailing on this pathetic scene. Come on Rainbow Dash. I said, we're leaving. "

"You know Gilda, I was the one who set up all those weak pranks at this party. "

"What? "

"So I guess I'm queen lame-o."

Gilda started to laugh nervously, "Come on, Dash, you're joshing me."

"They weren't all meant for you specifically, it was just dumb luck that you set them all off. "

"I shoulda known, that dribble cup had Rainbow Dash written all over it." Pinkie Pie interjected.

"No way. It was Pinkie Pie and that ape; they set up this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me. "

"I threw this party to improve your attitude, and Forgey didn't have anything to do with it. I just thought a good party might turn that frown upside down. "

"And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself. You know, this is not how I thought my old friend would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go find some new cool friends someplace else. " Rainbow Dash said.

"Yeah? Well you, you, you are such a, a flip-flop: cool one minute and lame the next. When you decide not to be lame anymore, give me a call." Gilda yelled back at her.

"Not cool. " Rainbow Dash said.

"Wow, talk about a party pooper. " Spike interjected.

"I'm disappointed in you, Rainbow." The Forgemaster announced.

"WHAT!"

"It's obvious that Gilda was just having difficulty associating with your new friends. She came here thinking that it would be the same as it was when you were friends in the past. She wasn't expecting that you would have new friends, and she just couldn't adapt very fast. Doesn't mean I like her or that her actions were excusable, but, you have to understand it from her point of view. So sayeth the Lord."

The entire party was stunned. Most of the other party-goers were stunned because they had never heard him speak for so long, or that he had given out such wise advice. The 'Elements' were mostly hung up on the advice he had given.

"If you fly fast, you can still catch her, Rainbow. Hell if I care, though. Lose a friend, keep a friend, I couldn't care either less either way."

With that single, pessimistic remark, he turned around and left the party to head home.

Chapter 35

"You don't understand how happy I was when you agreed to come and speak to the class."

"I was observing the Sabbath today anyway, so I didn't have anything else to do." He explained to Ms. Cheerilee.

She smiled warmly at him, and then asked, "If you don't mind me asking, what's the Sabbath?"

"The Sabbath is a day in the week, either Saturday or Sunday that you are supposed to not do any work. I wasn't exactly sure what day to have it on; Equestria doesn't have a Saturday or a Sunday. So, I just chose this day out of the week to compensate. The Sabbath is part of the law." He dutifully explained to the teacher pony.

She chuckled, "You mean to say that Humans actually set a law up to force your people to relax?" She said, jumping to the wrong conclusions.

"It's not like that at all, Miss Cheerilee. It was part of the way a group of people worshiped their god. I discovered that I enjoyed having a day off during the week, so I adapted it into my weekly routine. It's actually kind of complicated."

She nodded, "OK, I won't say I understood that, but I won't ask." She glanced at the clock, "The students should be arriving shortly, do you have anything specific that you are going to talk about? Or are you just going to answer their questions and then leave?"

"They'll probably ask a few questions that will lead to stories, Miss Cheerilee."

She nodded again, and then looked about the room before turning to The Forgemaster with a sheepish grin, "I'm so-so sorry, but there doesn't appear to be any chairs that will fit you."

"It'll be fine, Miss Cheerilee. I'm too tall to stand properly anyways, "He indicated his current hunched over form, "so I think I'll just sit on the floor."

The Forgemaster then found a nice place on the floor to sit down at; his wings were brushing against the ceiling.

"Alright, and please just call me Cheerilee, I feel old whenever anypony else besides the students calls me that."

"You are far from old; you are a young mare, as far as I can tell. Besides, old is just a feeling. I've seen eighty year olds with more youth and energy in them than forty year olds. It isn't about how old you are, Miss Cheerilee: it's about how old you act."

Cheerilee opened her mouth to respond, but her words were cut-off as a large *BOOM* rocked the schoolhouse. Moments later, 3 familiar fillies walked through the door of the school house, with much of their fur blackened.

"Hi, Miss Cheerilee!" they said in unison.

She sighed, and greeted them tonelessly, "Hello Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. Please take your seats."

All of the other students arrived quickly and filled up the classroom. The room was abuzz with gossip, whispers, and intense discussion over what exactly The Forgemaster was doing there. Miss Cheerilee greeted every filly and colt by name and with a striking grin on her face. It was plain to see that she enjoyed teaching very much. Cheerilee quieted the class and stood from her desk to stand in front of the class.

"Hello students! We all have a special treat for us today! The Forgemaster is here to speak with you all! Let's have a round of applause for Ponyville's resident human!"

The young ponies dutifully obliged their teacher. The students clopped their hooves together as The Forgemaster waved at them and bowed as properly as he could.

"Thank you for that warm introduction, Miss Cheerilee." He turned to the students, "And, I thank you for that wonderful applause."

He quickly got down to business.

"Now then, students, I want you all to realize that you are not in the presence of any normal human. So please don't get any pre-conceived notions of my kind, as I am as far from a regular human as there can possibly be."

One of the fillies, a Diamond Tiara, raised her hoof and then spoke when he called on her, "So what makes you so special?" she asked in a condescending tone, clearly trying to insult The Forgemaster, though he took no heed of it.

"A great many things, but I'm sure you all don't want to hear about me and my qualities. Oh, wait. That's exactly why you're all here!" he started to laugh, after a few moments, he spoke up again, "I assume you would like a demonstration?"

She nodded.

"I can name each and every one of you, and tell you the order in which you came into the classroom. I've not but heard most of your names once, so I think that ought to be a good test."

He then named each and every pony that was currently in the classroom, starting from the last and working his way up to the first arrivals.

"…and finally, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, who all arrived at the same time, on the cusp of that explosion."

The young ponies were shocked, their jaws almost hitting their desks. To their minds; he was definitely a special individual. An everyday pony couldn't do that, so how could he?

Applebloom had the right idea when she asked, "How'd yah do that?"

"Well, I can't forget anything. It is a definite boon, a very good things for those amongst you who are vocabularily challenged. But it's also a curse, never being able to forget. It's always useful, but sometimes a body just needs to forget. For instance, I memorized all of your names even though I didn't exactly want to, no offense."

Scootaloo spoke up next, "Can you do anything cool?"

"It depends on your definition of cool… Wait a moment, you and your friends, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, are members of that 'Cutie Mark Crusaders' group aren't you?" After a pause, he said, "Would you all like to hear a story of my own crusades?"

About half of the ponies groaned, and the other half nodded eagerly.

"Very well then. I shall now regale the tale of how The Holy Land was lost, retaken, lost again, retaken again, and so on and so on. The tale of the Kings and Queens of Europe going to the Holy Land to take it back from the Muslim invaders."

He talked to the young ponies for almost 3 hours just on that one subject. In addition to battles and events that he was personally involved in, he gave detailed descriptions of every other major character. From Saladin to King Richard, The Forgemaster covered almost every single player in the wars. Of course, The Forgemaster made his tale appropriate for the youngsters; no need to send them crying back to their mothers and have nightmares for the rest of their lives. However, the climax of his story was the part he played in the siege of Jerusalem. The story of how he and 1000 of his knight brethren and the local militia held out against Saladin's army for more than a month, and were then let go after Saladin had defeated him.

"Now let me tell you of my personal favorite. This battle was called 'The Siege of Jerusalem' by both sides participating. Saladin had come out of the desert to the west with over 100000 warriors in his army. The man came like a sandstorm; difficult to see from a distance, and literally impossible to stop! At first he tried to storm the walls and the gates and crush us under sheer numbers. That plan quickly failed, as no matter how many numbers an army has, they can only have so many in the fight at once. This particular fight was similar to 'Thermopylae', but that's a tale for another day. That particular tactic of his lasted for almost a week; a week of almost constant fighting. But, then he pulled his men back, and he then unleashed his trebuchet on us. I swear, half of that city must have been aflame. We held firm however, some of the knights turned to God, others turned to their brother-in-arms for support, but we all stayed; no matter the cost. We stayed, not because we cared about the city, for we didn't. We stayed so that the civilians living inside of the city could escape. What better a diversion than an army of knights? After that, he tried to starve us out. He put the entire city under siege, nothing went in or out. We lasted for 2 1/2 weeks on half rations. The equivalent would be one hay-burger a day per one pony. Saladin was confident that we would surrender, and when we didn't, he came to the city in person to find out why."

The younglings had been listening with rapt attention.

"Once there, he was every so surprised to find me there. For you see, we were both legends in both our homelands and in the other's homelands. He was famous for being a true gentleman, a scholar and always willing to show mercy. I, on the other hand, was notorious for my innovative tactics and untouchable battle prowess. I wasn't like Saladin; he was a frontline general, which is infinitely better than one who stays back at his castle and 'plans', but I fought on the frontlines directly with my battle-brothers. Shedding blood, tears, and sweat, mostly theirs, right alongside them. Saladin gave me a way out; all of us would leave, and none of us would be hurt. I quickly took the bargain; I traded a broken shell of a city for the lives of all of my men. By far, the easiest choice I've ever made in combat. My brothers and I rounded up the civilians and escorted them back to Europe, where we were greeted with open arms by most, and insulting words of cowardice from others. They actually insulted me; told me I should have stayed and fought for no effect. I didn't appreciate what they said, so I went back to The Holy Land as a civilian. I toured around and saw the beautiful land without the calculating eyes of a tactician, but with the warm, wide eyes of a tourist. I even got a chance to meet Saladin! The man truly lived up to his reputation as a gentleman. After that, believe it or not, Saladin and I became fast friends. He actually invited me to his daughter's wedding!" The Forgemaster smiled at the memory.

"So, there's a lesson in this kiddies: friends can come from the most unlikely of places!"

He started to laugh uproariously; he had just told a story of war and loss to a bunch of children and then ended with a beautiful sentiment! He knew that some of the things he had said were probably not suitable for pony ears, but the lesson was still important nonetheless.

After a few moments, his laughing went down and was replaced with the sounds of many ponies clopping theirs hooves for him. He looked up and saw that many more ponies had shown up! He had been so engrossed in his story telling that he hadn't noticed the other show up. He looked at the bell and smiled once more; it was far past the time for the children to go home! He had kept them at school for more than 2 more hours longer than he should have and their family had come looking for them! In his defense, he had been very detailed. Eidetic memory can do that to someone.

Cheerilee stood up from her desk and said, "I would first like to apologize for keeping the students so late, but, in my defense: The Forgemaster was telling a really great story!"

Cheerilee broke into a smile and the other ponies agreed whole heartedly with her. Most of them arrived in the story about half-way through anyway and could attest to the story's positive attributes.

"I would also like to thank The Forgemaster for the excellent story and taking time out of his day to speak with the children!"

The ponies began to clop for him once more.

He waved them down, "That wasn't a story worth cheering. The way I told it would be like a teacher explaining calculus: extremely boring. You should have heard the bards back home tell stories of my exploits. If you liked the way I told it, you would have dropped to the ground crying tears of joy from the way they spoke."

Some of the ponies gasped, one of them spoke up, "You mean that was a true story?"

Apparently they hadn't realized how he had referenced himself almost every sentence.

"Yes, every word. Who would make up a story about themselves?" he asked, completely innocent.

"We thought you were makin' up a story on the fly!" a stallion suggested.

"Nope, I'm not that creative."

The adult ponies started to clop again for him and started yelling out things like, 'You're a hero.' Or, 'You're amazing!'

He waved off the compliments and clapping, but they persisted. He stood as best as he was able and made his way to the door. The ponies were parting at his passing.

Before he could leave, Applebloom asked him a question over the noise, "Will yah come and tell us another story?"

He turned back and said, "Someday."

The youngsters all squealed in delight.

The adults may have squealed even more.

Chapter 36

After his story, and subsequent boost in popularity amongst the villagers, The Forgemaster went back to his home.

Now, while the Forgemaster relies on tried and true methods to get most everything done, he has a subtle and almost never seen flair for the exotic and the dramatic. This hidden impulse of his is what drove him to re-create one of his favorite toys of all time: A cattle-prod! With some extensive modifications, of course.

What he actually ended up making was a 2 pronged sword with lightning runes on the blades. He also coated the hilt and the guard with rubber, just in case. While not technically a cattle-prod, it would certainly shock the unholy sin out of whatever it was he just happened to be slashing or stabbing at. A side effect of the runes he used in its creation was that electricity was constantly and erratically arcing between the twin blades. That looked… really, really cool, to be honest. He had finished the blade and was giving it a polish, whilst wearing rubber gloves, when a knock was heard at the front door of his home. The door opened at his command to enter.

The pony that chose that moment just happened to be Twilight Sparkle, once more wielding a notepad and a quill. He indicated her to sit on the only thing nearby; a pile of ingots.

"Back for more questions, Twilight Sparkle?" he asked her.

"No, I'm here for answers." She said.

"But the answers that you seek will inevitably lead to more questions. Am I right, Twilight Sparkle?"

She sighed, "Yeah, you're right."

"How about a deal? You ask your questions and I test something on you."

She looked at him warily, "What kind of test?"

"I won't lie; it will probably hurt. But, that's the price one pays for knowledge…"

She sighed once more, angrily this time, "Fine, I'll do your test, but after my questions."

At his wave to continue, she asked, "Do you know why my magic, and other ponies' magic, doesn't affect you?"

"No, I don't know. Though, if I were to hazard a guess; it would be that our magics are too different to interact properly with each other. Kind of like the how the same poles on a magnet repel each other. That would imply that our magics were similar, and they aren't, but it's the only analogy I've got. I would say that only powerful magic could affect me, like Celestia's or maybe yours. But, I haven't a clue."

She grinned happily when he said that her magic might affect him, "Alright, can I ask about your magic?"

"Yes, your punishment has been up for a while now."

"YES! What kind of magic can you do?"

"All kinds, though necessity prompted me to become highly skilled in combat magic."

"Can you teach me how to become invisible?"

"Why would you want to know? You aren't a sneaky little thief are you, or a spy?"

"No, no, no, no! Nothing like that, I just kinda… really wanted to know?"

"Fine, I'll teach you. But, there are many skills needed to learn to build up to true invisibility. I don't know what kind of system you unicorns have set up; probably learning specific spells in any old order. But, when humans learn magic, we start simple and build on that one skill gradually. For instance; one must first learn how to light a fire before one can learn how to throw a fireball."

"I understand, it'll be great learning more magic!"

Twilight positively had a fan-mare moment. She basically squee'd and had a small party on her make-shift chair. She calmed down after a few moments.

"So how did you earn the title, Forgemaster?"

He smiled at the genuinely happy memories the question brought up, "I worked as an apprentice to a great smith, I learned much from him, and others. However, as a baby bird must leave the nest, so I too had to leave my master and travel the world. I wound up in a kingdom that was famed for its metal-working. When I arrived, the local smiths were all trying to out-do themselves with greater and greater works of metal art. Practical art, I mean; things like swords, axes, armor; the good stuff, useful stuff. True things of beauty they were, they'd bring a tear to a dead man's eye." Twilight bristled at the unusual saying, "I soon joined in on the contest. It became a festival, of sorts, all of the locals would watch us work and make comments, bets, suggestions, and it was a hot-bed of activity! Eventually, the king of the realm learned of this impromptu festival, and gave it some actual basis. He said that, 'The man who can make the best work here will be forever known as The Forgemaster, post hence!' In a fierce competition; I wound up on top. I believe at the time I was around 700 years old. I don't know if that's accurate, though."

"Wait! If you didn't know your name, what did others call you? I mean, you hadn't yet earned the title, so they had to call you something else, right!"

"Yes, they called me something, I'm sure of it. But, the memories from before are kind of fuzzy, and they always will be."

Twilight had been diligently writing down every word he said, but she looked up as he spoke the last sentence, "What do you mean, 'from before'?"

"Why, don't you know? I cracked under the pressure a while back. Lost my damn mind, quite literally." His eyes got a far-away look to them, "I only remember bits and pieces, like what I told you, parts of my childhood, some images without names, voices without context… it's all so very confusing."

They both sighed, both of them for the same thing but for different reasons: he sighed for the past he had lost and could never discover who he was, she sighed for the past he had lost because it denied her knowledge. He quickly recovered.

With a smile, he said, "Well, Twilight Sparkle, I've answered all of the questions that I'm going to answer today. Time for my test!"

"What do you want me to do?" Twilight asked, suddenly worried.

"Just turn yourself to the side, like so." He maneuvered her into position with his hands, "And, prepare for something."

He drew the newly crafted blade, named 'Shocking Revelation', but lovingly dubbed the 'Zapper'. He then stood over Twilight and gently poked her on the side with the flat part of the blade. The resulting *ZZAP* and a collapsed and unconscious Twilight confirmed that he had made his new toy well. Enough joules and watts had flowed into her that she was out instantly. A check of vitals confirmed that her heart was still beating, and a quick brain-scan confirmed she wasn't brain-dead. He picked Twilight up and moved her inside and onto his couch, he then attached a note to her snout saying 'Thank you, it worked perfectly. Please go home..'

All-in-all, a good day's work, at 35% power, the 'Zapper' would drop an adult sized pony instantaneously.

'What about something bigger?' He thought.

He ran off to Fluttershy's to find the answer.

wWwWwWw

The trip to Fluttershy's cottage was uneventful, save for a few ponies giving him congratulations or thanks. He arrived to find the lovely, yellow pegasus flying gracefully around her animal friends feeding them all whilst leading the birds in a beautiful song. It was truly the cutest damn thing The Forgemaster had ever seen. He politely waited for the mare and her friends to finish their song before approaching the frightful pegasus.

He made sure to announce himself from quite a distance away, though he was still greeted with an 'Eep' from Fluttershy.

"Hello Fluttershy, how are you today?"

"Oh, hello Forgemaster. I'm doing… fine." Fluttershy replied, though something was off, she appeared to have a bandage on her cheek.

"What's wrong Fluttershy? You can tell me anything, you know that."

"Well… I was in town the other day and some ponies were being mean and calling my animal friends names. So I tried to stop them, b-but they just laughed at me." She looked down at the ground and hid behind her mane.

"Did they give you that cut?"

"Y-yes. I got it when they pushed me to the ground."

His anger, no; his FURY, was palpable, "Who did it?"

"It was those same colts that you got in a fight with at Rarity's, and at the hospital." She was still looking at the ground.

When she looked up, The Forgemaster was gone.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster was stalking through Ponyville. He moved like a predator, seeing everything and moving silently. He was walking quickly, though not outright running. He had a target, and he would fine it. Though, he was still incredibly angry.

Ponies that he passed could hear him mumbling to himself under his breath about how, 'Hurting little baby Jesus is less of a sin than hurting Fluttershy', and that he would 'Banish them all to the darkest pits of Tartarus', or that 'Dying would be too good for those bastards'.

As he turned around the corner of a building, he spotted his prey.

The 3 colts were exiting Sugarcube Corner and were traveling to the side of town directly opposite his home. The Forgemaster devised a plan; his targets were traveling through the town to an area that was rife with back alleys and side-streets. He would pick them off one by one. He took a different route and waited for them in the shadows.

Just as he suspected, the colts were going to the only bar in Ponyville; 'The Watering Hole'. They had taken the shortest route, which was, consequently, the least traveled. The colts ducked through alleys and across streets. In simple terms; the perfect place for a terrifying event.

He turned invisible with his magic, and stalked behind his prey. He hadn't forgotten the lessons instilled in him by the assassin cell in Madrid, all those years ago. Every step he took was silent, every breath he took was noiseless, and every second brought him closer to his enemy.

Immediately behind the colts, he noticed that one wasn't contributing in the conversation taking place very much. He would be the first to go. He gently, ever so slowly, grabbed the Earth pony about the neck, and lifted him up into the air. The pony's eyes went wide and he tried to call for help, but there was an arm putting pressure on his throat and a hand over his mouth, though he couldn't see either. A mere minute and thirty seconds later and the colt was knocked out. The Forgemaster placed him inside a nearby trash can. He then resumed his pursuit.

The other 2 hadn't even noticed the other's disappearance, the fools. These 2 were much more involved with each other than the last one had been, so he would have to take them out simultaneously. Thankfully, his work was done for him: the leader of the gang took offense to something the younger colt had said, and started to give him the pony equivalent of a noogie. A perfect opportunity for an electricity based weapon, if ever there was one.

The Forgemaster quickly walked over, not even bothering to keep his invisibility up, and tapped the leader on the shoulder with the flat of his blade. Both colts were immediately knocked out, just as the other colt had been, and just as Twilight Sparkle had been.

He picked up both of the colts and carried them back through the alleys to where their compatriot was sleeping. After checking to make sure they were all still alive, he cast the invisibility spell once more and walked out of the city with them. At first, he had planned on taking them to Fluttershy's cottage to make them apologize, but he was struck with an even better idea: why not take them to the decrepit castle in the Everfree Forest?

Unfortunately, the castle was far too far away for him to make it there before these foolish colts wake up. In fact, one of them was stirring as he walked! He quickly made it back to Fluttershy's, the timid mare was still in the yard helping her animal friends. He deactivated the invisibility spell and walked over to her, he placed the condemned on the ground in front of her. Fluttershy gasped at the sight, but The Forgemaster didn't care: they had hurt Fluttershy! He walked over to the nearby river and filled a bucket full of the water; he then poured the water over the 3 colts. They all woke up cursing and sputtering.

The Forgemaster knocked some sense into them, and set them straight.

"Alright, you 3 dirt bags. You are all going to apologize to Fluttershy here, and you are going to mean it!"

Fluttershy was standing next to him, but wasn't saying anything. He couldn't see the expression on her face, but he doubted that it was very good. One of the colts was already apologizing to Fluttershy, and he could tell that the colt meant tit. He was off the hook, the other 2 weren't.

The leader, the biggest idiot of the 3, tried to sound brave when he said, "Or what?"

"Or I punch you until I break every bone in your body." The Forgemaster said, completely and utterly serious.

At that, the other colt bowed down before Fluttershy and begged her forgiveness, quite pathetically. He was off the hook, too. That left the leader, who was far too stupid to notice he had been beat. The leader hadn't said anything after that, so The Forgemaster turned to the first colt.

"Which one of you pushed Fluttershy down?"

The colt hesitated a moment, he was getting a glare from both his leader and The Forgemaster; it was just an exercise in who he feared more, now. The colt shakily rose his hoof towards the leader, proving that The Forgemaster could stare down anyone into doing anything, and simultaneously signing the leader's death warrant. The Forgemaster turned back to the leader, who was giving his subordinate a death glare, and drew his sword/prod. The leader focused his eyes on The Forgemaster and his eyes were suddenly filled with nothing but dread, fear, and terror.

As The Forgemaster readied himself for the killing blow, Fluttershy intervened, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!"

Fluttershy practically flung herself in the way of his slash, making him stop.

In spite of his need to kill the… beast… that would dare harm Fluttershy, he was proud of her. She really was the 'Element of Kindness' if she would stop him. Although, he assumed that practically everypony would try to stop him, considering what he was doing and most ponies' personalities.

He stared down Fluttershy for just a moment, to see if she would waver. Fluttershy didn't waver in the slightest. The Forgemaster grunted and sheathed his weapon in a special rubber sheath.

"You should count yourself lucky, foolish abomination of all that should be amongst the living. I was really going to kill you. You should apologize to Fluttershy, and then thank her, and then give her your undying obedience for the rest of your pitiable life!"

The Forgemaster turned away from the ponies and walked towards the Everfree Forest.

Fluttershy called after him, "Where are you going?"

He stopped and turned back, "I'm looking for a challenge!"

He then entered the forest proper, and prepared himself for battle.

*Spoiler Alert*

Fluttershy had never flown so fast in her life! She was flying to the library; she had terrible news for the others. She gently pushed open the window before flying in, and all of her friends were conveniently gathered within.

With the loudest voice she could muster, no more than a normal speaking voice, really, she said, "Girls, The Forgemaster has been admitted to the hospital!"

Chapter 37

Twilight Sparkle had invited all of her friends over to discuss the latest information she had gathered about The Forgemaster with them. All of her friends were currently gathered except for Fluttershy. Fluttershy wasn't at her cottage the last time Twilight checked. They would just have to get stated without her, then. The 5 friends were sitting around her dining room table.

"Alright, girls: opinions on The Forgemaster. How do you all feel about him?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

"Well, Ah haven't really spent any time with 'im, but Ah'm sure he's a fine feller." Applejack said.

Twilight wrote what she had said down.

"He keeps telling me that he has to tell me something, but then he puts it off! I think he's hiding something from us, something that embarrasses him." Rainbow Dash said.

She also wrote that down.

"I'm not really sure what to make of him. He's a complete gentle colt whenever we meet, but the other day I walked in on him eating manticore meat!" Rarity said.

Twilight wrote that down, but said to Rarity, "Even though I know that that's awful; he did warn us, Rarity."

"Yes, I know dearie. But it was still an awful experience for me."

Twilight pointed her hoof at the last pony in the room.

"Forgey's awesome! He's tall and funny and smart and he totally gets me!" Pinkie Pie said.

The other ponies looked at themselves and at Pinkie when she said that he 'gets' her. To them, that was impossible. Nopony can simply 'get' Pinkie. Twilight sighed and wrote down what Pinkie had said anyway. Twilight then said her part.

"I think he's a complete and utter jerk! I don't think he likes me, either."

"Why's that, darling?"

"Yeah, Twi. He's been fine to the rest of us, why don't you like him?" Rainbow Dash interjected.

"Well, he won't answer my questions satisfactorily and he knocked me out when he was testing one of his creations!"

"Twi, has the thought that you might be buggin' the hay out of 'im crossed your mind? Ah mean, everypony else here has sat through your interrogations and your experiments. If yah don't like it when somepony else stonewalls you or tests his experiments on you than that's jus' hypocritical." Applejack said.

The ponies all looked at Applejack strangely; they were clearly not anticipating this sort of advice from the country pony.

Applejack noticed the looks, "What?"

"Oh Celestia! How could I be so stupid? You're totally right, Applejack. He obviously just doesn't like dealing with me! That doesn't mean that he doesn't like me, right?"

"Well, Twi. I think it's more like; he doesn't like dealing with the part of you that won't stop asking questions." Rainbow Dash replied.

Twilight nodded, as did the rest of the mares. They all understood what was meant when Rainbow Dash said that.

They were about to move on to another subject, but something interrupted them.

Fluttershy flew through the window; however, something was clearly wrong. Fluttershy looked as though she had just run a marathon. Fluttershy also had a very worried expression on her face, the only emotion she ever has usually, but this time it looked like something bad had happened. The feeling was only confirmed when Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak.

"Girls, The Forgemaster has been admitted to the hospital!"

"What happened!" they all yelled at the same time.

"I-I don't know. He walked into the Everfree after helping me with a-a problem. After a few minutes, I heard roaring and yelling from deep in the forest. And then he came walking out of the Everfree Forest, and he was… c-covered in blood. He looked hurt so I made him go to the hospital."

"How'd yah manage tah make 'im go to the hospital? That human is as stubborn as a mule."

All of Fluttershy's friends were looking at her, they were all interested too.

"W-Well, I just… asked?" she blushed.

"Ohhh." Said the rest in unison.

"Come on everypony, we gotta go to the hospital!"

wWwWwWw

The 6 mares ran to the hospital as fast as they could go. Rainbow Dash just flew ahead and made it to the hospital in seconds. As the other 5 entered the hospital, they could tell something weird was happening. For one thing, The Forgemaster was running in circles around a group of doctors and nurses, they were trying to restrain him. And another thing, Rainbow Dash was on the ground laughing so hard she was holding her aching sides. As the ponies started to listen to the conversation being held between the medical staff and the Forgemaster, they too began to laugh.

They were yelling at him, "Sir, you have lost most of your blood! Stop running around so we can give you a transfusion!"

"I'm fine damnit! I only broke my arm and some ribs, I'll be fine! Most of this blood isn't even mine."

The doctors and nurses eventually cornered him. He didn't want to hurt them, so he calmly surrendered to them. Unfortunately, protocol dictates that resisting patients must be sedated. The doctors and nurses all piled onto him, while one nurse hung back with a large needle and syringe. Even though he wasn't currently resisting, the nurse still gave him the shot.

Unfortunately for the staff, that only served to enrage The Forgemaster. He knocked the doctors and nurses off of him and ran towards the 6 laughing mares. He picked them all up with one sweep of his large arms and ran out of the hospital; the doctors and nurses following right behind him.

He focused his magic and made a portal appear in front of him. He ran through it and appeared, without a transition, in the library. He set the ponies down on the couch and sat down in front of them, breathing heavily. Running from the Everfree to the hospital and then away from the hospital then teleporting takes a lot out of you. After a few moments of recovering, he smiled brightly at the girls.

"Hi girls! I'm sorry about the mess."

He indicated their blood soaked manes and coats. Rarity hadn't noticed but she was absolutely freaking out now. The other mares were upset, too, but didn't get as frantic as Rarity did. Fluttershy passed out, however.

Twilight spoke up against the noise of Rarity flipping, "What happened, Forgemaster?"

He put on a posh, Canterlot accent, "Well, I was walking through the Everfree Forest and I came across a certain gentleman Hydra. As fate would have it, we start to have an argument over who, between the 2 of us, should live. I am happy to say that I wound up the victor of said argument, though he was able to make a few good points about how he should live, as evidenced by this and these." He indicated his broken forearm, and busted ribs.

"So you fought a Hydra, and won!" asked Rainbow Dash, clearly excited.

"Rainbow, if it bleeds, I can kill it. And, oh, how it bled." His eyes held ecstasy in them as he waved a hand down the front of him, showing the blood.

"Damn 'Zapper' was almost worthless, though. The Hydra's scales were resistant to the electricity; somehow, though once I got through the scales, he died quite nicely." He held up the blade in question for them to see, "See look, there's still a bit of Hydra intestine on it!"

He plucked off the offending organ and threw it in the trash.

Twilight was speechless, but managed to stammer out, "How can you even be standing!"

"Easy, Twilight Sparkle; I didn't break my legs, now did I?"

"But you should be in horrible, horrible pain!"

"Probably. I've had worse though."

None of the ponies were really paying much attention to what was happening, however. Fluttershy was K.O., Pinkie Pie and Applejack were trying to help her, Rarity was running around going off about her mane and coat, so that left only other 2 ponies listening to him; Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.

"Why don't we take a few minutes to ourselves? Meet me at my place in like 40 minutes." He told the 2 mares.

He went home, always on the look-out for more doctors.

wWwWwWw

When he reached his home, he quickly undressed out of his now ragged clothing. He placed the clothes in a strainer and placed them in the sink, underneath the spout. He turned the water on and then went out back. He found a metal pole and went back inside. He searched through his cabinets and found bandages. He rapped them around the pole and his broken forearm, his left forearm. In seconds, he had a stilt, it wasn't pretty, but it would last for a minute or two, and that's all the time he really needed. He went upstairs and went into the shower to clean off the blood. He stay in very long, only long enough to clear off most of the blood, and was out within minutes.

Now came the hard part. He focused his magic and looked within himself. He saw the ribs that were broken, and directed his body to fix them. Using telekinesis to maneuver them into place, fighting through the pain to maintain his concentration, he then went about fixing them. He diverted blood cells and calcium from other bones to rush to the position. In a few minutes, the bones had healed fully; they had actually overgrown slightly, giving him a stronger rib cage. Because his task was completed, he dropped control of his bodily functions, once more allowing them to run normally. He would need to eat and drink more calcium in the next few days to replenish his supply, but that could be done later. For now, he focused on his broken arm and did the same thing he had done to his ribs.

Fully healed, he went back into the shower and gave himself a proper cleansing. After he was done with the scaldingly hot water, he went and got dressed. Fully clothed, fully healed, and newly washed, he went downstairs to greet his guests.

However, he had been quicker than he had realized. He had more than 15 minutes before the mares were scheduled to arrive. The perfect opportunity for an impromptu dinner! Like a gentleman, he prepared food for his guests. Mostly consisting of salads, cookies, and cupcakes, the meal didn't have much variety. The Forgemaster's pantry wasn't exactly stocked with pony-safe foods, as it were. The alcohol selection was diverse, however, and he set out enough liquor to get all of Ponyville at least tipsy. Not that he was planning on getting them drunk, it's just that different alcohols go with different foods, is all.

A knock at the door signified that his guests, or at least one of them, had arrived. He opened the door to reveal Pinkie Pie and Applejack, now clean, still carrying an unconscious Fluttershy, who was also cleaned.

'How did they clean her and she's still unconscious?' He thought.

What he said, though, was, "It's nice to see you, please come in! The food is already done."

"Hiya, Forgey! Did you make us food!"

"Yes, Pinkie Pie, and cupcakes and cookies, too."

"Ohmigosh! Really?" Pinkie ran into his home, leaving Applejack and Fluttershy at the door.

He smiled at the 2, "Hi Applejack, I can take Fluttershy from here."

"Thanks."

He picked up Fluttershy and waved Applejack inside, she nodded at his manners. He brought Fluttershy into the main room and set her down on one of the chairs.

Pinkie already had a plate full of cupcakes and cookies at each placemat. She had also sat herself in the chair next to his and barely restrained herself from eating. Apparently, she had enough sense not to eat until the others were here, though it clearly strained her to do so.

After a few minutes, the other 3 had arrived, and Fluttershy had awoken.

He went into the kitchen for a moment to bring in some utensils that he had forgotten for himself. When he came out, something was terribly wrong.

"Twilight Sparkle, that's Dash's seat."

Twilight had unknowingly sat in the seat with Rainbow Dash's cutie-mark on it. A small mix-up that was quickly resolved, though the others were wondering why exactly she had her cutie mark on her chair. They were also wondering why he had said 'Dash' and not her full name, as he did with everypony else.

He sat down at the table, and the others sat down as well. He decided that he was going to make an example of Twilight. She reached for the food that was on her plate, but he waved her down.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Twilight Sparkle. We have to say grace first."

The ponies had evidently never said grace before, and were confused by what he was saying. They just watched him as he bowed his head, put his hands together, and then spoke.

"Dear Gods, we thank you for the food that you have provided for us. We thank you for the opportunities presented to us today, whether or not we took advantage of them. We thank you for concerned friends, who would drag the friend they thought was hurt to the hospital, even against their will." They all glanced at Fluttershy, who blushed and hid behind her mane, "We thank you for pony doctors, even though they were too stupid to realize that their medicine probably doesn't work on other species. We thank you for the lives you have sought fit to grant us. And I thank you for the chance to fight a Hydra. In your holy names, we give thanks. Amen."

He looked up at each of the ponies, and then said, "Alright, Twilight Sparkle, you may now eat."

wWwWwWw

About half-way through the meal, the ponies finally begged him to tell him what happened, and wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Alright, fine! Silly ponies, you drive me to drink." He took a sip of his wine, "Alright, this is what happened."

Epic Flashback

"So after I dealt with 3 demons in the guise of ponies, for only demons would dare harm Fluttershy, I went into The Everfree to find something a bit more challenging. Ugh, I seemed to run across every damn manticore in that accursed forest. I don't always go for walks in the Everfree, but when I do, I find every single damn manticore that can possibly be found. Well, anyways, after a couple minutes, I found myself in a swamp. Froggy Bottom Bog, it was called. I figured that nothing worth fining was in the swamp, so I turned to leave. As I did, though, an ominous noise came from the swamp, directly behind me. Like a giant creature rising from the depths of the murky water, and when I turned around: that's exactly what I found. A Hydra!"

The ponies were on the edge of their seats in anticipation. The Forgemaster took a sip of his wine before continuing.

"A true ancient and deadly fighter, he was. Hydra are born with 1 head, as they have the head chopped off, it grows 2 more in its place. This particular Hydra had 5 heads, meaning it was fairly old and very experienced. I certainly couldn't fight the thing in its element, well… I could but it would be risky, so I hurried to dry land and the great beast followed me. Once on dry land, I turned and faced the creature. Bastard had the audacity to pick up trees and rocks and throw them at me! Do you know how pissed I was? Very. I dodged around the first tree, and then the 2nd, but a rock I hadn't noticed hit me in the stomach, which is how I got the broken ribs. I was on my back on the ground, with the rock on top of me. So I push it off and yell at the Hydra. I yell, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I'll tear your damn heart out, you muck sucker!'"

The ponies giggled at his childish antics, even during a life-or-death battle, his personality shifts were evident.

"So I pick up the rock the bastard threw at me and threw it right back. Hit the middle head right in the mouth. As it was distracted by the pain, a stupid thing to do if you ask me, I ran at the beast and raised my sword to plunge it into his chest. Couldn't though, one of the heads took a swipe t me, so I changed direction and chopped its lower jaw off, and then continued my charge. Just as I was about to jump into the thing, another of the heads swipes at me. I couldn't stab it, so I just rolled underneath it. I had lost my momentum, so I just went the easy route; I ran at the Hydra and slashed both of its legs as I went through them. I was kind of pissed when the blade didn't shock the bastard, though it still worked as a sword, thank the gods. It would take some very clever planning, or magic, if I was going to fight the thing without a weapon. But anyways, I had cut the Hydra's legs, and he couldn't keep himself up on them anymore. I had apparently done some serious damage to them. It fell on its back, directly on top of me, in fact. I managed to roll away from the brunt of it, but then one of its heads slammed the ground on my outstretched arm. Thankfully, the arm didn't shatter; that would have been more difficult to fix, it just broke. Needless to say; I was pissed. I slashed the damn thing as hard as I could, going all the way through its head, and saving my arm."

The mares were amazed around him, though Fluttershy looked a bit green. He took another sip.

"So, the Hydra was on the ground and missing one head. Given time; it could and would survive that. But, I didn't give it any time. One of its head landed just past the one I had severed, so I ran over and stabbed it through one ear-hole, and out the other. It wasn't cut off, but the head was still dead. After that, I jumped onto the body of the Hydra. I was going to make good on my promise. As it turns out, the Hydra can regenerate limbs, necks and heads, but it couldn't live through having most of its organs destroyed at once. I cut through the scales on its belly with my sword, creating a hole big enough to reach through. I stuck my hand into its chest cavity, and found the organ I was looking for. Unfortunately, it was too big to pull out on my own, so I stuck my blade all the way to the hilt into the hole. Apparently, the inside was not nearly as electricity resistant as its scales were. I had the thing cranked up to 100%, and it literally turned the insides of that Hydra into either mush or ashes. Within moments, the thing was dead. Having most, if not all, of your organs obliterated will do that to you. After that, I went back to Ponyville, again fighting my way through at least 3 manticores. I swear, they must breed like rabbits or something."

He looked up at the crowd of ponies; they all had tremendous looks of awe on their faces. Even Fluttershy, even though she probably angry that he had killed the Hydra. Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked as though he were the most kick-ass thing they had ever seen. Pinkie Pie nodded sagely as though she had already seen what had happened (Not completely impossible, either) and was pleased with the re-telling. Rarity had much the same look that Twilight had, one of pure shock: a magic-user not using magic when his life was in danger? Unheard of.

He started to laugh uproariously at their faces, and then said, "Back to the food, my little heroes, back to the food!"

wWwWwWw

A few more hours of food, drink, and games passed before the other ponies went home. Pinkie Pie had called his cupcakes perfect, and he had given a new idea to Rarity about a tuxedo, he had also asked her to fix the torn outfits, but she told him just to throw it out and that she could make another. Twilight had questioned him on his teleportation spells, but he brushed her off. Applejack told him about how stubborn he must be if he could walk off a fight with the Hydra like that. The ponies were almost as shocked as when he told them the ending of the story when he told them that he was completely healed. Twilight certainly had more questions for tomorrow, though he would be sure to speak loudly, the better to capitalize on her incoming hangover.

He judged that the ponies would all be able to make it home safely, even though many of them were either tipsy or slightly drunk, but stopped Rainbow Dash when she tried to leave.

"I'm sorry, Dash. But you're much too drunk to fly home. You are staying here tonight."

"I'm fine! I shwear." She slurred, obviously very drunk.

"Rainbow, you had 3 glasses of wine and 4 shots of whiskey! It's not even the weak wine, either. No, you are staying here tonight, and that's final."

He picked Rainbow Dash up and walked up the stairs with her, she was struggling in his arms. He went into his bedroom, and set her down on his massive bed. He tucked her in, said goodnight, and then went back down stairs. He then sat down on the couch, and prepared for sleep.

Chapter 38

The Forgemaster woke up the next morning none the worse for wear. His arm and ribs weren't irritating him anymore; he would just have to replenish his body's calcium supplies. He was also hangover-less. Something everyone who has ever seen him drink have always marveled at. However, just because he rarely gets hangovers, doesn't mean he doesn't know how to cure one.

He sat up from the couch and got ready to start his day. Rainbow Dash was still upstairs in his bed, or at least he hadn't seen her wake up. That meant that he couldn't go take a shower or change his clothes, either.

He stood from his couch and went to the kitchen. He prepared a breakfast for himself and one for Rainbow Dash. For him; a good old fashioned breakfast: eggs (From an undisclosed location), toast, manticore bacon, and orange juice. For Rainbow Dash; a similar, albeit ponified, breakfast: Hay-bacon, toast, jam, a salad, and orange juice.

After that came the most important part of anyone with a roommate's morning routine: creating a hangover cure. A mixture of various herbs and even more disgusting things, add some water, stir vigorously, and done! Unfortunately, it literally tastes like someone took water from a swamp and then added crushed bugs, the texture was actually similar, too. However, that drawback is out-balanced by the almost immediate removal of the hangover, completely and utterly, and all of its side effects. That is, of course, assuming that you manage to keep the horrifying brew down. The first time: unlikely.

He picked up one of his collapsible tables and went upstairs to his room. He found Rainbow Dash still asleep on his bed. He set up the table and then went downstairs and brought up her meal and the hangover cure. He attached a note, more of a warning, really, to the hangover cure that simply said; Hangover cure, tastes like crap. Drink.

The still sleeping Rainbow Dash hadn't stirred when he had set up her meal, so he went back downstairs. He figured that he might as well report in to the Princess that held his leash. No disrespect meant, of course, as he was quite happy to have her holding his leash. He obtained the necessary ingredients; a scroll, a quill, and ink and wrote out his letter on the kitchen table, over a plate of breakfast.

The letter read thus:

Celestia,

I have done as you asked.

The 'Elements' are secure up until this point.

However, I thought it prudent to warn you about some things I have noticed about the 'Elements'. As well as give you my personal opinion of them.

Twilight Sparkle; she appears to be a very intelligent young female. She often suffers from mental break downs and various forms of psychosis. She is one unknown event away from a complete breakdown. Conclusion: fixable, with time. May become a valuable part of the team, perhaps even team leader.

Rainbow Dash; she appears to be a very athletic young female. She doesn't suffer from insanity of any form, though her determination to win at any cost will drive her to reckless acts. Fixates on joining the Wonderbolts, practical nut-job if any are mentioned or if she is near them. Conclusion: with training on reducing her reckless tendencies, she will become a valuable member of the team.

Fluttershy; she appears to be a very caring young female. Her very caring nature will make her essential as a medic. However, I would disagree strongly with ever sending her on a tense mission. She has a tendency to freeze under pressure. Also, she is extremely adorable. Conclusion; with training on reducing her tendency to freeze under pressure and some self-confidence courses, she will become a valuable member of the team. Recommended on being sent on diplomatic missions, any other types of missions should be delayed, for now.

Pinkie Pie; a very insane individual. If she were anyone else, I would recommend immediate institutionalization. Her psychotic tendencies appear to be repressed if she is allowed to throw parties constantly, her friends also appear to have this effect on her, as well as breaking the laws of physics. I believe that she will crack eventually, when eventual occurs, she will not become a happy psychotic, rather a happy stabbing psychotic. Immediate psychic block to reduce chance of breaking instituted without your direction, subject is much more stable now, although no discernable change has been noticed in her outward expressions, and internally she is much healthier. Conclusion; she will be an effective wild card. As a team member, she will be invaluable. She appears to be able to carry any number of items with her, could be exploited to bring supplies with the team.

Applejack; a stubborn and hard-working individual. I have yet to have extended contact with Applejack. Though, comments on her nature have led me to several facts about her. She is very strong in body, and stronger in mind and willpower. She appears to be the rock-solid foundation of the group. She rarely cracks under pressure, and is sure to be of use. Conclusion; barring any unforeseen events, subject is fully capable. Training recommended in various necessary, albeit useful, matters.

Rarity; appears to have an attention to detail second-to-none. She is also a business pony and has saved myself and made for myself many bits. Subject's contacts in the business world, as well as her acumen, lead her to be perfect for negotiations. Attention to detail will also contribute to any investigative work that might need doing. Subject requires training to rid subject of fear and hatred of un-cleanliness. Recommendation; send subject on negotiations of trade deals with other nations, first as an observer or advisor to gain some experience, and then as the negotiator once deemed ready. Conclusion; Rarity is ready for anything that may need doing.

The group of 'Elements' will need additional time and effort to be truly up to par with other groups of heroes that I have trained, but their potential is staggering.

On a personal note: I understand the Gala is coming up, the fact that you have sent me a ticket earlier being a large hint. I recommend an experiment: send Twilight Sparkle only enough tickets for a few of her friends. I wish to see how she will react. By the way, I will be returning the ticket to the Gala that you have given me.

I am arranged a test for the Royal Guards to see if I can get in without being spotted. Rules are: If I am spotted, I am to be escorted to you and allowed into the Gala, resulting in a win for the guards. If I am in the Gala and I am spotted, it doesn't count as a win for the guards as the mission to get inside was already completed, resulting in a win for me. No violence allowed, being seen and ordered to stand down will result in a loss for me. Essentially; get into the Gala undetected.

Your undying servant and personal asskicker,

The Forgemaster

Just as he finished signing his name, a loud groan from upstairs announced that his housemate for the night has woken up. He waited 7 seconds, immediately a sound that sounded as though someone were puking their guts out came from upstairs. Evidently, Rainbow Dash had underestimated just how akin the drink tasted to 'crap'. He rolled the scroll up and sent it with a flourish of magic, and then dropped his dishes in his most recent invention: the automatic sink. After that, he went upstairs to check on Rainbow Dash.

He knocked gently on the door.

"Rainbow, may I come in?"

"Ugh… yeah, sure come in." Rainbow Dash sounded sick, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

He opened the door and was face-to-face with a clearly upset Rainbow Dash staring down at her plate.

"Why didn't you tell me that, 'Hangover cure' tasted so badly?"

He shook his head sadly, "I did, Rainbow. Didn't you see the note? It said that it tasted like crap."

She didn't reply, she just continued to stare at her plate.

"How much did you get down?"

She sniffled, "About half."

He smiled brightly at her, "Good! You should be fine, then."

He went to the windows, which had their blinds pulled down, and went to open the blinds.

As he reached out, Rainbow screamed out, "NO!"

Too late.

The windows let in a blinding stream of bright, white light. Rainbow instinctively closed her eyes tight and held her head. When the irritation of being hung-over and being blinded by light didn't hit her, she slowly opened her eyes. After hesitating for a few moments, she grew used to the light. After that, she opened her eyes wide and was amazed; she really was cured!

"Ohmigosh!"

He laughed at her girlish antics, "Come-on, Rainbow! Finish your breakfast and we can go outside. Hey, we can even go bug your hung-over friends!"

She smiled at that, and began to eat the meal he had so painstakingly created.

When she had come downstairs 5 minutes later, he had set up an armory on the dining room table. He had several flash-bulbs, a couple of air horns, multiple water balloons, and a large bottle of hangover cure all packed up and ready to go.

After having a shower, and a quick change of clothes, they were both ready to go.

"Alright, we can get everyone except Fluttershy. She might have a heart attack if we get her."

"Yeah, Fluttershy is way too frail. She's been that way since before flight camp."

"Alright then, let's head out."

Shouldering the packs, they left his house and flew off to start with Applejack.

wWwWwWw

The pair of devious pranksters were hiding in the trees, waiting for Applejack to come by. But, what luck! Both Twilight and Applejack, along with Spike, but he wasn't hung-over, came into view. With a nod to Rainbow Dash in the tree across from him in the path, the pair slowly glided into position above the 3. He unleashed the first barrage with a series of water balloons, whilst Dash was laying into them with an air-horn. Only a few seconds had passed before Twilight grabbed the air-horn away from Rainbow with magic, for her troubles, she was summarily hit in the face with a flashbulb from The Forgemaster.

They soon stopped the torture after he flashbulbed her. The 2 ponies and dragon were stumbling around, trying to get their bearings, while Rainbow Dash and he hovered in mid-air and laughed madly. They slowly regained their senses, Applejack was trying to glare at the 2, but she was off by about 15 degrees. Spike looked as though he were going to puke, he made all of the correct motions and then burped up something, though what came out of his mouth wasn't puke.

It was a letter, from Princess Celestia.

"It's a letter from the Princess!" added Twilight, unhelpfully.

Spike read the letter out loud, "Hear ye, hear ye, Her Grand Royal Highness Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announceThe Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest."

"The Grand Galloping Gala!" Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle all said at once.

'So, the Princess has agreed to my little experiment! This will be fun. I wonder how Twilight Sparkle will react.' The Forgemaster thought.

Just then, Spike flinched and held his hand to his mouth, and then burped, once more leaving a letter in its place.

The Forgemaster reached out and grabbed it, just as Twilight's magical aura descended upon it.

"Twilight Sparkle, what have I told you about reading my mail!"

He lowered the letter to her height and pointed out the seal, a large, red 'TF' in wax.

Tutting her quite loudly, he unrolled the letter and read its contents to himself.

"Well?" asked Twilight.

He raised a brow at her, "Why would I show you my mail?"

The letter from the Princess that was addressed to him said this:

Dear Forgemaster,

While I am concerned about your assessments on the 'Elements', I understand that you were being as truthful as you could and holding them to the high standards of your previous masters.

However, in Equestria, these ponies are considered fairly normal by anypony's standards.

What you took for insanity, which it would be considered in your homeland, I agree, is actually quite normal in Equestria.

Your recommendations were read and accepted, they were clearly well thought out.

I have also agreed your experiments, if you were not aware. Twilight will be receiving 2 tickets and will receive the rest whenever either you or she asks for them.

I also accept the terms of your 'game' with the guards, so long as nopony is hurt.

Your Princess,

Celestia

"Because you just heard my mail!" Twilight screamed at him.

"The answer is no, besides, I didn't read my mail out loud for anyone to hear."

Twilight groaned while Applejack and Rainbow Dash snickered at her.

Twilight turned back to Spike and asked, "I've never been to the gala. Have you, Spike?"

"No, and I plan on keeping it that way. I don't want any of that girly frilly frou-frou nonsense."

"Aw, come on Spike. A dance would be nice."

Applejack butted into the conversation, "Nice? It's a heap good more than just nice. I'd love to go. Land sakes, if I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be chowin' our tasty vittles till the cows came home. Do you have any idea how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin' up 'round here. We could replace that saggy old roof, and Big Macintosh could replace that saggy old plow, and Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip. Why, I'd give my left hind leg to go to that gala."

Rainbow Dash took this opportunity to interject, "YES! This is so awesome. The Wonderbolts perform at The Grand Galloping Gala every year. I can see it now. Everyone would be watching the sky. Their eyes riveted on The Wonderbolts, but then in would fly Rainbow Dash. I would draw their attention with my Super Speed Strut. Then I would mesmerize them with my Fantastic Filly Flash. And for my grand finale, The Buccaneer Blaze. The ponies would go wild. The Wonderbolts would insist that my signature moves be incorporated into their routine, and then welcome me as their newest member. Don't you see, Twilight? This could be my one chance to show 'em my stuff. You gotta take me!"

"Hold on just one pony pickin' minute here," Applejack spits, "I asked for that ticket first."

"So? That doesn't mean you own it. "

"Oh yeah? Well I challenge you to a hoof-wrassle. Winner gets the ticket."

The farm-filly and the athlete get down over a stump and start to hoof wrestle. The Forgemaster took a moment to bask in the hilarity. Then Twilight had to ruin the moment by opening her flap.

"Girls, these are my tickets, I'll decide who gets it, thank you very much. Whoever has the best reason to go should get the ticket, don't you think?"

Applejack and Rainbow both plead their case to Twilight, both using very good reasons for them to go with her. Twilight backs away, saying that she'll decide later and that she can't think straight on an empty stomach.

The Forgemaster had an idea of what was coming: the 5 other 'Elements'; would desperately plead for the extra ticket, leaving Twilight with only 3 options. 1: give up the tickets to 2 friends, 2: give one friend a ticket, or 3: give no one a ticket.

He had a feeling that no matter what would happen; it would go down at her library. So, he moseyed his way on down to the library, chatting with the friendly ponies as he went. He went into the library, found one of the few books that Celestia hasn't already read, and sat down to get to work on it.

He waited all of 5 minutes.

Twilight Sparkle and Spike teleported into the library, not 5 feet from his elbow. Spike looked slightly singed, for some reason. The Forgemaster raised a brow at their entry, but didn't make a sound.

"Ugh, warn me next time you're gonna do that." Spike said to Twilight, neither of them noticing him yet.

"I didn't even know it was gonna happen. Now quick, lock the doors. Phew."

Spike and Twilight worked on getting all of the windows and the door secured, and they still hadn't noticed him, even though he had turned the page on his book several times.

Suddenly, the doors burst open, letting in the rest of the 'Elements'.

Twilight pleaded with them, "I can't decide, I just can't decide. It's important to all of you and I just can't stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favors won't make any difference because you're all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can't, I just can't."

Apparently, he had used his invisibility spell without using any magic, because none of these ponies even noticed him. Deciding to make his presence known, The Forgemaster slammed his book shut, hard. Twilight and Fluttershy jumped, but the others just turned to see him on the couch.

"When did you get here! Oh no! You want the ticket too, don't you?" Twilight screamed at him.

"Twilight Sparkle, I couldn't care less about the ticket. And I've been here since before you teleported in with Sir Spike, lousy job by the way."

Stunned, Twilight could only ask, "Why?"

"You probably messed something up with the spell. Maybe didn't put up enough barriers to ward against…" He noticed the look from Twilight, "You mean why I don't want the ticket?" she nodded, "Well, the Princess already sent me a ticket."

He left out that he had set up a game with the Royal Guard and sent the ticket back.

Most of the ponies went, "Ohhh."

After an awkward moment, Applejack spoke up, "Twilight sugar, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you, and if it helps, I don't want the ticket anymore, you can give it to somepony else. I won't feel bad, I promise."

"Me too. I feel just awful that I made you feel so awful." Fluttershy added.

"And me too. It's no fun upsetting your friends." Came from Pinkie.

"Twilight, it was unfair of me to try to force you as I did." Interjected Rarity.

"Yes! That means the ticket is mine. Ha ha, I got the ticket, I got the ticket," Rainbow Dash was happy for an instant, but then she noticed the glares she got from her friends, "you know, I haven't perfected my signature moves for The Wonderbolts anyway. I don't need that ticket either."

"We all got so gung-ho about going to the gala that we couldn't see how un-gung-ho we were making you." Explained Applejack.

All of the tiny ponies said in unison, "We're sorry Twilight."

The Forgemaster snorted and interjected, "I'm not. I never wanted to go."

He got glares from the other ponies, evidently, not going to the Gala was more important to them than he realized.

"Spike, take down a note. Dear Princess Celestia, I've learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there's not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So, though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala. "

The rest of the ponies all screamed, "WHAT!"

The Forgemaster, though you couldn't see it through the perpetual scowl he put on whenever Twilight was near, was proud of her. This was exactly the outcome he had hoped for. There was some hope for the unicorn, yet.

After some comments on friendship, the letter was sent and a reply was almost immediately received. Apparently, Celestia had been waiting anxiously for this moment.

"A letter from the princess? That was fast." Said Twilight, still unhelpfully.

Spike read the letter, "My faithful student Twilight, Why didn't you just say so in the first place?"

6 tickets came from Spike's mouth, enough for all of the ponies. After a moments delay, 2 more came through, and a letter for him. The letter asked The Forgemaster how the experiment went, and basically forced him to abandon his plans with the guards after a lieutenant, and many of the other higher ranking soldiers, expressed doubts and refused to do the game.

'Aw, man.' He thought.

Thankfully, the others didn't notice his ticket. That would've been uncomfortable to explain.

As the ponies all left to treat Twilight to dinner, but Twilight turned back to The Forgemaster with a sly grin on her face.

She leaned in close and whispered, "The trip to Canterlot will take a few hours, plenty of time for questions. Hehehe." She giggled into his ear.

No reaction on his face, he whispered back, "I can teleport."

Chapter 39

"On second thought, let's not go to Canterlot. It's a silly place."

"Ugh, no Forgemaster, we are going to the Gala, and that's final!"

"Honestly, Forgemaster! It's like you've never been to a ball before."

"Yeah! You're acting just like Spike, even though we can tell he wants to come."

Chuckles and giggling came from the room.

"You said that you were going earlier in the week, why don't you want to go now?"

"Something bad is going to happen there. I can feel it in my bones."

The Forgemaster was speaking with the mares through a door. They had refused him entry because they were dressing into the gowns that Rarity had made for them. This unreasonable action perplexed The Forgemaster; the ponies don't normally wear clothes, but it would be uncouth to be in the room with them as they dressed? It was a confusing conundrum, to say the least.

The Forgemaster, on the other hand, had been prepared for the day since the instant he woke up. Rarity had been kind enough to fashion a uniform that was a personal favorite of his: a USMC dress uniform, complete with 'ceremonial' saber. He had even made some copies of the medals he had earned when he worked for the USMC, and they adorned his chest quite strikingly. Also, his saber had been enchanted and sharpened to a deadly edge; if The Forgemaster was going to carry a blade then it was going to have to work, after all. His piercing eyes were only highlighted by the presence of the cap he had donned. All in all, the ponies all agreed that he looked handsome, though they were ponies and didn't understand what may or may not be considered handsome to his people; he just assumed they were being nice.

Rarity had even commented on the uniform he had asked her to make, he seemed to come up with another one every other week. The surprising thing, she said, was that no matter what outfit he 'designed' for her, he was actually just retracing the designs of his homeland, they looked great on him!

He groaned, he had involuntarily brought up the memories of being in Rarity's boutique. Drawing up something for her and waiting for the results was one thing: staying there for hours at a time was another thing altogether.

He had arrived at the pre-arranged meeting spot to find Twilight practicing transmutation spells. And, surprise, surprise; none of the mares were ready to go. Apparently, females are the same no matter where you are or what species they were.

Anyway, Twilight had created a carriage out o an apple, and created horses out of mice. The irony of having horse-drawn pony carriages did not escape The Forgemaster. Then, Rarity's cat had swiped at the mice-turned-horses which made them flee. Apparently, no matter what your size, cats were still cats to the mice.

Twilight had despaired at the fact that the mice had run away, leaving nothing to pull the carriage. Then Rarity had asked her neighbors to pull the carriage for them, using undisguised flirting, to be honest.

And that brings us to the present, with The Forgemaster wondering how, exactly, he was going to fit inside the carriage and Spike approaching the room the mares were dressing inside.

Spike attempted to gain entrance to the room, a conversation erupted between the 2 parties involved, but The Forgemaster didn't pay much attention to it. However, his sensitive ears picked up on something Applejack had said to Rarity. Namely, 'Uh, beg pardon, Rarity, but, uh... we don't normally wear clothes.'

'At least she noticed.' He thought.

After a few more moments of waiting, the mares came out of the dressing room.

"Wow! You all look... amazing!" said Spike.

The Forgemaster put his 2 cents in "I agree, although I am unfamiliar with the attributes that the males of your species seek in potential mates, as a human I find you to be appealing."

The mood immediately dimmed, somewhat. All those that had heard the comment were looking at him strangely, except for Twilight who understood what he was trying to say.

There was an awkward silence that reigned for a moment, only broken by Spike's cough.

The Forgemaster used this as an opportunity to break the uncomfortable silence, "Your chariot awaits, my dears."

The Forgemaster bowed and gestured towards the 'awaiting chariot'.

As the mares passed him, Rainbow whispered to him, "Real smooth, Forgey."

He whispered back, "Don't care."

Soon enough, the mares were all loaded into the carriage. As he had thought, the carriage did not have enough room for him. In fact, the carriage didn't even have enough room for him to sit on top of it. Well, he could have, but he had a feeling that he would break it. It was an apple, after all. He resigned himself to march alongside the carriage, close enough to listen in on the conversation going on within the carriage.

Spike informed the mares of all of the things he wished to do with them in Canterlot. From his perch on the carriage, Spike made the unfortunate mistake of cracking a whip and calling out, 'Yah!'

The carriage lurched into movement. Along with its unusual escort, the carriage containing the most important little heroes to Equestria made the trip to Canterlot, and to the Gala.

wWwWwWw

The trip towards Canterlot would take several hours, at least. And at the pace the stallions were pulling the chariot, it would likely be much more. The Forgemaster wasn't about to rush them, however, aas any attempts to increase their speed might result in their abandoning of the carriage and forcing him to pull it.

The conversation within the carriage quickly became extremely boring, at least to The Forgemaster it was. The least understood, and therefore most feared, event was occurring: Girl talk. Or in this case; Mare talk. Adjusting rather quickly to the annoying sounds, The Forgemaster made his way forward, and continued his march alongside the stallions, and Spike.

Not a word was spoken, and each male present understood why. The reason why was because nothing needed to be said: everything was understood, therefore nothing needed to be asked.

Eventually, though, The Forgemaster found the silence boring. So, he decided to start up one of his favorite marching songs.

After he was finished with that particular marching song, he sang another. And then another.

After that, one of the stallions sang a song back to him. Then the other stallion had a turn. The Forgemaster and the stallions sang for over an hour, calling back and forth. The songs quickly degenerated into a series of hilarious drinking songs. The topics ranged wildly, from women, or 'mares', to the army, to drinking, to sex, to music, and etc. Almost no topic was spared the butchering of The Forgemaster's and the stallions' lyrics. Everything they called out was both comedically inspired and devastatingly insulting. By the end of his last song, the stallions and Spike were laughing their brains out. The last line had been particularly good. However, The Forgemaster made sure never to sing loud enough that the mares could hear him, and the sudden too-loud laughter of 4 males alerted the mares that something was happening.

"What's goin' on out there?" Rainbow Dash asked them.

The immediate and unanimous response, "Nothing!" only served to increase the males' laughter.

wWwWwWw

The carriage soon arrived at the Grand Galloping Gala. While the mares stood around amazed, The Forgemaster fixed his uniform that had been mistreated during the long walk. Satisfied with his uniform, he looked up towards the open doors of the castle.

One step.

That's all he had done before he knew something was horribly wrong. Looking at the mares, he knew that whatever was about to happen will happen because of them. Not 2 seconds after that thought, his fears were confirmed.

They started to sing.

"I can't believe we're finally here. With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this... The Best Night Ever! At the Gala!"

(A/N – I just copied this from the wikia site. Not even gonna bother to change it. =P)

All of the bystander and the mares sang along, "At the Gala"

[Fluttershy]

At the Gala, in the garden

I'm going to see them all!

All the creatures, I'll befriend them at the Gala! (at the Gala!)

All the birdies, and the critters

They will love me big and small!

We'll become good friends forever

Right here at the Gala!

[Choir]

All our dreams will come true right here at the Gala, at the Gala!

[Applejack]

At the Gala (it's amazing!), I will sell them (better hurry!)

All my appletastic treats! (yummy, yummy!)

Hungry ponies (they'll be snacking!), they will buy them (bring your money!)

Caramel apples, apple sweets! (gimme some!)

And I'll earn a lot of money for the Apple family!

[Choir]

All our dreams and our hopes from now until hereafter

All that we've been wishing for will happen at the Gala, at the Gala!

[Rarity]

At the Gala, all the royals

They will meet fair Rarity

They will see I'm just as regal at the Gala! (at the Gala)

I will find him, my Prince Charming,

And how gallant he will be,

He will treat me like a lady, tonight at the Gala!

[Choir]

This is what we've waited for, to have the best night ever!

Each of us will live our dreams, tonight at the Gala, at the Gala!

[Rainbow Dash]

Been dreaming, I've been waiting

To fly with those brave ponies

The Wonderbolts, their daring tricks

Spinning 'round and having kicks

Perform for crowds of thousands

They'll shower us with diamonds

The Wonderbolts will see me right here at the Gala!

[Choir]

All we've longed for, all we've dreamed, our happy ever after!

Finally will all come true, right here at the Grand Gala, at the Gala!

[Pinkie Pie]

I am here at the Grand Gala, for it is the best party

But the one thing it was missing was a pony named Pinkie

For I am the best at parties, all the ponies will agree

Ponies playing, ponies dancing, with me at the Grand Gala!

[Choir]

Happiness and laughter at the Gala, at the Gala!

[Twilight Sparkle]

At the Gala (at the Gala), with the Princess (with the Princess)

Is where I'm going to be (she will be)

We will talk all about magic and what I've learned and seen (she will see)

It is going to be so special as she takes time just for me!

[Choir]

This will be the best night ever!

Into the Gala we must go, we're ready now, we're all aglow

Into the Gala, let's go in and have the best night ever

Into the Gala, now's the time, we're ready and we look divine

[Fluttershy]

Into the Gala, meet new friends

[Applejack]

Into the Gala, sell some apples

[Rarity]

Into the Gala, find my prince

[Rainbow Dash]

Prove I'm great as a Wonderbolt is

Fluttershy: To meet!

Applejack: To sell!

Rarity: To find!

Rainbow Dash: To prove!

Pinkie Pie: To whoop!

Twilight Sparkle: To talk!

[All]

Into the Gala, into the Gala!

And we'll have the best night ever!

At the Gala!

The Forgemaster had left the mares just as the singing started. He had gone up the front stairs to see Princess Celestia standing at the top. Marching smartly, he quickly ascended the stairs and came to a halt beside Celestia.

"It's nice to see you here, Forgemaster. Hmmm, that uniform looks awfully familiar…"

"It's from my past, USMC dress uniform."

"Oh, yes. Now I remember. I'm glad you came here, Forgemaster. I heard you were disappointed that you couldn't 'play' with the Royal Guards."

Celestia was constantly greeting guests during this conversation, though she didn't slow any.

"An immortal finds ways of amusing themselves, else; they go insane."

Celestia nodded sadly, "Yes, I know what you mean."

The Forgemaster lifted an arm down the stairs, and said with heavy sarcasm, "Oh look, here comes your star pupil."

"Princess Celestia!" she screamed when she was in range, after hugging Celestia, she saw him, "Forgemaster?"

"Twilight! It is so lovely to see my star student."

"If you're wondering why I'm here, it's because I did not partake in your spontaneous singing outside."

Twilight blushed, but ignored him, "Oh, I'm so excited to be here! We have so much to catch up on."

"Well, I want you right by my side the entire evening, so we'll have plenty of time together."

"That's just what I was hoping you'd say."

The Forgemaster interrupted, "Twilight Sparkle, you are going to be severely disappointed. Princess Celestia is going to be tied up in greeting guests for much of the evening." He turned to Celestia, "My Liege, I wish to have a word with you, in private, so please speak Latin."

Delving into the memories of him permanently embedded into her mind, she spoke the language with alarming

proficiency, "What did you wish to speak about?"

"I feel like something bad is going to happen here, is there any trouble with the other kingdoms I should be aware of?"

Twilight looked back and forth between her mentor and her protector, clearly not understanding a word. Just as The Forgemaster had hoped.

Celestia sighed, "Yes, there's been some trouble with the Griffon kingdom recently, nothing major, but they might try something."

"I shall keep an eye out for assassins."

He bowed to his leader, and then walked away from her.

After walking maybe a dozen steps, he turned down an unoccupied hallway and used his magic to turn invisible. He quickly retraced his steps and stayed right next to Celestia for several minutes, never noticed by any save Celestia who could feel the magic he was using.

After noticing Twilight get annoyed, much to his enjoyment, The Forgemaster wandered off. He noticed Rarity's issues with 'Prince' Blueblood, who wasn't actually a prince to The Forgemaster, Rainbow Dash's attempts to impress the Wonderbolts, Pinkie's attempts to get the party started, and finally, Applejack's failing to make many sales.

After a few minutes of wandering about the party, still invisible, shit started to go down, literally. Columns and statues started to fall over in a domino effect, while Fluttershy knocked down the door and screamed that everything should love her, Applejack and Rarity caused a food fight, and Pinkie Pie went insane over her party antics being not-well-received.

He heard a whistle and turned to see Twilight and Celestia running away from the destruction, the other 'Elements' soon following.

He groaned and followed, slowly.

He found the princess, the 'Elements', and Spike at a place called Pony Joe's donuts.

He walked in to a shout of, "The best night ever!"

Evidently, he had missed a few things. He turned visible once more, startling them.

"So that's why we didn't see you at the Gala!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Partly, but none of you would have noticed me had I been visible. You were all too wrapped up in your own business. But, I wish to tell you some interesting news I think you should all be aware of."

He looked to Celestia and said, "Do you think it would be a good idea to tell them about Crimson Hammer?"

The mares looked confusedly at one another, while Celestia replied, "It's up to you, Forgemaster."

"I think they should know, but I am concerned over what their reactions might be."

Celestia looked at Rainbow Dash and said, "I understand what you mean, but I think it would be best if they know."

"KNOW WHAT!" Pinkie Pie screamed out.

The Forgemaster groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He said slowly, enunciating each word perfectly, "I. Am. Crimson. Hammer."

Chapter 40

"I. Am. Crimson. Hammer."

His voice echoed around the now silent doughnut shop.

This silence was broken a moment later when Pinkie Pie happened, "What! You can't be him, silly, you're you!"

Another moment of silence was observed.

"As ineloquent as Pinkie put it, she is right. You cannot be him, simply because he is a pony, while you are… you." Said Rarity

"I went into the Everfree Forest to visit Zecora, after your disastrous PT exercises. I came across a damnable plant called Poison Joke; I've told you all about this." The ponies nodded, "Well, as it turned out; the plant took away from me 3 very, very important things to me: my memory, my human form, and my magic. That is why I couldn't change back even after I had regained my memory with Twilight Sparkle's help; I had no magic to complete the spell, so I had to go to Zecora to find a cure. It took Zecora some time to finish her potion, so I just wandered around Ponyville for a week."

"Do you have any proof?"

"Hold on."

The Forgemaster focused his magic, and altered his form just as he had the first time he had been in Ponyville. He changed his form into the form of a pony. As the spell subsided, he looked exactly as Crimson Hammer had; only this time he also had a horn.

Crimson Hammer stood fully enfleshed in front of the 'Elements' and Princess Celestia, as an alicorn. He looked the exact same as he had when he was 'Crimson Hammer' only he now had a horn, and several more scars.

"See? I wasn't lying, I rarely do."

"What about that lie that you said Crimson had to go visit his sister in the hospital!" Rainbow Dash asked, extremely angry.

"I said I rarely lie, not that I don't lie at all." The Forgemaster replied, shifting on his hooves. "I just wanted to know who you 6 really were. Not the act you put on just because I was different. I wanted to know how you would feel about me if I were a pony. Truly; the results… startled me. Two of you fell in love with me, or thought they did, Fluttershy was afraid and angry with me, Applejack seemed to notice something was off about me, Pinkie Pie didn't get to throw me a party, you all thought I was a fugitive for a moment, and Rarity thought I was a complete gentle 'colt'. It kind of makes you think just exactly how our outward appearance affects how you feel about another."

No one in 'ye olde doughnut shoppe' said anything for a moment, knowing every word he said was true; they had treated him different as a pony. Mostly, there was glaring and staring going on in equal measure. Only The Forgemaster noticed the shadow listening in from outside the window.

"To be honest; I dropped some pretty large hints. For instance: we are blood brothers, therefore we share the same blood, we met in the Everfree Forest, I had been transformed there, we share the same thoughts, we have 2 bodies but 1 soul, we are, and I quote, 'practically the same guy'."

He said the last sentence while looking directly at Rainbow Dash.

None of the mares, or Spike, for that matter, had anything to say.

The Forgemaster released the hold he had on his magic, and his form shifted back to a human's. Twilight was absolutely brimming with curiosity, more questions for The Forgemaster, then. Yippee. The Forgemaster looked at Rainbow Dash with something akin to pity in his eyes.

"Rainbow Dash, if it's any consolation: I know nothing of how to tell whether or not a mare is attractive. If we were ever together; it was because I liked your personality, not your body." He paused for a moment, and then looked towards Celestia, "Which brings me to a question I've been dying to ask. Celestia; did you know that when your little ponies are in the midst of love-making, they scream out your name?"

The sudden and complete look of embarrassment that came over Celestia's face was enough to send The Forgemaster into a laughing coma. A laugh so loud and deep that it rattled the bones of all ponies within a 75 feet radius; that is the kind of laugh The Forgemaster did at that moment. He laughed for a full minute and a half, before calming down enough to be able to speak, though not without giggling.

'Oh, gods! That was the funniest face I've ever seen anything ever do, ever!' He thought, giggling like a mad man on the outside.

He was on his hands and knees, desperately trying to breath. Unable to stand or look up, he said while facing the ground, "Hey, Celestia, if you ever find yourself in a situation with an annoying male. Just say, 'Your marefriend screams my name, not yours.' BWAHAHA!"

He started to laugh even harder than before.

In the face of this admittedly hilarious series of circumstances, the rest of the ponies, even Celestia, began to laugh along with him.

After a few minutes of more laughing, and even more sex jokes, The Forgemaster felt as though he were off the hook with the 'Elements', they had clearly put it past them already, or so he hoped. Then he recalled something very important, and reached out with his magic to find the answer. What he found did not surprise him. A very problematic, confused, amused, and soon-to-be-terrified spy.

He reached out towards the shadow with magic, and pulled it through the window, scaring all of the occupants of the doughnut bar. As the shadow met with the light of the shop, it became clear what it was.

A griffon.

Or, to be more specific, a griffon spy that had been listening in on the conversation going on inside the shop. The griffon kingdom had evidently 'tried something', just as Celestia had warned at the Gala.

The Forgemaster drew his saber, and walked over to the stunned griffon. He stood above the male griffon and held his blade to his throat. The Forgemaster, easily dropping into good cop/bad cop mode, quickly established himself as the 'bad cop', and opened a psychic link with Celestia.

The stunned griffon opened his eyes, and took in an alarming situation for any spy. Which quickly turned to bat shit terrifying as the monstrosity holding a sword to his throat spoke in a demonic tone of voice that brokered no sympathy, or pity.

"We are going to play a game. I'm going to ask you some questions, if I like the answer, you live longer. If I don't like the answer, something that you are very, very attached to will be cut off. First question; who sent you?"

The griffon's scattered thoughts were unable to come up with a coherent response, "Er, I, well… uh, you see."

The monster said, "I did not like that answer."

He raised his arm to strike, asking Celestia telepathically to stop him, and then lowered his arm at a blinding speed.

"Stop!" rang out the voice of one of the most beloved monarchs in all of the kingdoms.

The blade stopped an inch away from hitting the griffon at the base of his left wing. The griffon knew that such a blow would have easily taken it clean off.

"Yes, my liege."

The biped picked the griffon up and forcibly, and none too gently, threw him at the hooves of Princess Celestia. He then took up a position immediately behind the griffon, cutting off any chance of escape. The 6 mares in the room, only now getting over their shock at the sudden appearance and violence, took up similar positions behind and to the sides of Celestia.

"Please tell me your name, young griffon." Celestia spoke in a tone that radiated warmth and kindness, but beneath her outer shell beats the cold, calculating heart of a predator slowly stalking its prey. Celestia does not take any attempt of another nation against Equestria easily.

The Forgemaster spoke before the griffon could. "Edward Blackclaw, son of William Blackclaw and Jenna Blackclaw. In service to King Denart, king of the griffons. Joined the Griffon army at age 18, joined central intelligence at age 20. Became top spy and some time assassin at age 23. Current squad leader in an attempt to gain information on Equestria, and, if possible, to assist in the re-settlement of the trade agreements signed decades ago in the griffons' favor. Squad mates: code names Shadow and Hawk. Hawk currently inside Canterlot Castle, instructed to be observing Princess Luna, Shadow currently outside Canterlot Castle, mapping royal Guard movements and recording shipments into and out of the city. Recommendation: immediate detention and use as a hostage in re-negotiation of trade agreements in the Equestrian Empire's favor."

The Forgemaster had gleaned all of this information from the griffon Edward's, mind, and made the recommendation on a psychic command from the princess. Edward didn't know that, and assumed the worst: they were compromised inside the agency! The Forgemaster's speech had suitably unnerved young Edward.

Celestia spoke, "Interesting. Now, my young griffon, I am going to give you 2 options. Number 1: you take your friends and leave Canterlot and Equestria immediately. Or number 2, we take you into custody and put you on trial for espionage. And then we find your friends and do the same. Now tell me, which option are you going to choose?"

Edward had never been so terrified in all of his life, the ponies and their… monster… held literally all of the cards, "Please, princess. I choose number 1, please let me go. Please let me go."

The Forgemaster lifted the griffon up by his left wing, causing a gasp of pain from the griffon, and got into his face.

"If I find you in Equestria again, I'll find a suitably horrific punishment. How does being banished to the molten core of this planet sound?"

Edward was scared, but his overwhelmingly glib personality took over for just one second, "Suitably horrific."

Edward immediately regretted his words, as The Forgemaster glared at him with the force of 1000 suns. But, then, something unexpected: the creature holding him by his wing smiled and laughed at him!

"You amuse me, youngling." He dropped Edward, and pointed towards the door, "Go now, find your friends and get out of Canterlot, before I let slip the dogs of war."

The group watched silently as the griffon scurried away from certain doom.

Celestia spoke, "You know, Forgemaster, we don't actually have any dogs of war to let slip."

He smiled at her, he was glad that her study of his memories hadn't been as in-depth as his had been of hers. He could actually use human idioms and have the joy of explaining them to ignorant individuals!

"It's a saying amongst my people, basically saying that we will declare war on you. In modern times, anyways. In olden times, when we actually had dogs of war, I assume the saying was completely literal."

"You had Diamond Dogs in your armies?" asked Twilight.

"No. Dogs and canines in general, in my homeland were genetically selected to be mankind's best friends. We evolved from plains nomads, hunters and gatherers, into farming, city-dwelling folk with the dogs right by our side, changing as we changed, growing as we grew. As nomads, the dogs were friendly wolves, as city-dwellers, the dogs were domesticated guardians and protectors. Mankind is simply not complete without the dog, and the dog is simply not complete without mankind. As best friends are wont to do, they fought by our sides, even on the fields of battle. Thus the saying, 'Let slip the dogs of war.'"

"Oh, wow! That's so interesting. I should be writing this down, where's my notepad!"

Twilight frantically searched around, desperate for a notepad. She squee'd in happiness when The Forgemaster withdrew one from his coat pocket, and offered it to her. It was one of 2 notepads he kept on his person at all times. One was blank, because just in case. And the other was chock full of interesting ideas for swords, weapons, armors, and fantastical war machines. It's always good to have a written plan, even if you cannot physically forget anything.

The Forgemaster was dreading the conversation he would eventually have with rainbow Dash, but it could wait until tomorrow.

"Rainbow Dash, I'll speak to you in private later, if you want to. Now then, does anyone else have any questions for me?"

wWwWwWw

2 hours later

Balcony Overlooking Canterlot

The Forgemaster walked out onto the balcony and found Celestia already there. He stood beside her and crossed his arms as he looked out across the city.

"Celestia, why do I get the feeling that completely humiliating their top agent will make the griffon king pissed?"

She sighed,"Because that is exactly what will happen, Forgemaster."

"So… War, then?"

"Maybe, Forgemaster, maybe."

He growled, "Equestria is not ready for war."

"I know."

"On the other hand, Edward and his cronies left Canterlot. I personally saw them off."

"Thank you for dealing with this matter."

"When one pledges oneself to an immortal, it is not without its trials."

They stood there in silence for several minutes. Each contemplating the events that transpired and the many possible futures that Equestria will face.

"So… Celestia, can I have a title?"

Celestia was confused, "Don't you already have a title?"

"Yes, but not a title that any noble in this city would ever respect."

"I never took you for one who would care what nobles thought."

"I would gladly throw them all into a volcano, then light the volcano on fire, than throw the volcano into the sea, and then boiling the sea around it before launching it into the sun. But, I would like something to hold over those ponies."

Celestia thought for a moment, "How about… Lord of Ponyville? You would be subject to govern the town and all of its surrounding lands."

He stroked his chin thoughtfully, "Call me a Duke and you've got yourself a deal."

Celestia chuckled and then said, "Deal. I hereby crown you Duke of Ponyville."

He bowed to Celestia, and said, "If I get a title every time I stop a few spies, I think I'll be taking quite a few more titles before this deal with the griffons is over with."

"Oh, I just remembered something. Luna wanted you to escort her around Equestria as she makes her rounds."

The Forgemaster held a fist to his chest, "Of course, I live to serve."

Chapter 41

The Forgemaster knocked politely on the door to Luna's bedroom, and was told to enter.

The second that Luna noticed who was at the door, she squealed with joy and jumped into his arms. She wrapped her forelegs around his neck and hugged him. He staggered under the sudden weight, but stayed on his feet.

"Eeeeee! I'm so happy you're coming with me tonight!" Luna squealed into his ear.

The Forgemaster carefully set her back down on the floor after the hug.

"Celestia said that you requested an escort, can't your guards do the same?" he asked.

She grinned sheepishly up at him, "Well… yes, but sometimes I just want somepony to talk to on Night Patrol. The guards aren't exactly conversationalists"

"It's alright, I'll come along." He gestured towards the open window, "Shall we be off, my lady?"

"Yes!"

wWwWwWw

The princess and The Forgemaster were flying towards Manehatten, after departing Canterlot and taking a quick fly-by of Ponyville. The pair was having a conversation the entire time they were flying. Well, it was mostly Luna having the conversation; The Forgemaster only listened or answered questions and sometimes gave his opinion when she asked for it. After a while, however, The Forgemaster had a question to ask.

"So, Luna, what exactly do we do on Night Patrol?"

"Well, there's not really much of anything to do. I just, kind of, fly around and get re-accustomed to Equestria. But, if anypony needs help and I'm able to help, I will. It's actually just me getting out of the castle for a little while, at least." She sighed, "And then I have Night Court."

"Night Court?"

"Tia handles court during the day, but if anypony can't get an audience during the day, it's my job to hold Night Court. And it's really, really boring. Thank goodness only a few ponies ever come to Night Court."

"So, you handle issues that local ponies bring to Night Court? Like what, exactly?"

"Whatever issues anypony might have, we deal with. It leads to an incredibly diverse amount of cases, 2 are rarely similar. The differing circumstances also require different and unique solutions." She smiled at him, "It's good practice for anything major that may come up."

"So, the leaders of Equestria deal with day to day problems? That's very much different than what I am used to."

"Hmm, what are you used to, Forgemaster?"

"A cold and distant leader, that only takes action if it's absolutely necessary. They leave daily problems with lower ranking officials. The idea of it all is; if it has to go to the king than it must be important, an issue only he could resolve."

She giggled at that, "Well, it would lower our wrok-load, but it would also put us out of touch with the citizens, would it not?"

"Yes, it would."

They flew in silence for a few more minutes.

"Luna, may I come to Night Court?"

She sputtered for a second, surprised at the request, "Why ever would you want to come to Night Court?"

"It might be interesting."

She sighed, "It won't be, but you're welcome to come. I suppose… I could introduce you as my advisor for the night, the Duke of Ponyville. We'll have to introduce you properly, as befitting a Duke." She smiled and started giggling, "And when ponies ask about your appearance, you can throw them out of court!"

He barked out a laugh at the image it brought to his mind, "Of course, my lady, if it pleases you."

She giggled at him, "Come on, Forgemaster! Race you to Manehatten!"

wWwWwWw

The pair raced through the skies, towards a distant city called Manehatten. Due to his large size, The Forgemaster took more time in getting up to speed than Luna did. He felt that he was more of a distance flyer with the size of his wings. Proportionally, his wings were still larger than the average pegasi's. He barely even had to flap his wings; he flew more like a hawk, soaring on thermals high above the Earth. The ponies, however, had to constantly flap their wings to stay afloat. That led The Forgemaster to believe that they would be faster than him. He was not entirely incorrect.

He and Luna reached Manehatten's town hall, the agreed upon destination, at the exact same instant.

The pair collapsed next to each other on the town hall's roof, both exhausted. They took a few moments to regain their breath. The Forgemaster looked down at his dress uniform and sighed.

'My poor uniform! Damn.' He thought.

"So, Luna, do you see any ponies in need of assistance?"

She scowled at him, and looked over the rim of the roof, "Well, actually, I think I do."

She pointed with her hood while The Forgemaster dragged himself over.

The indicated ponies in distress happened to be a pair of drunken mares stumbling out of a night club. The 2 mares walked away from the night club, stumbling, more like, and another pony stepped out of the night club just after they had. The third pony followed the 2 mares, but not as a friend would follow a pair of drunken friends, but more like a predator. The pony stood in the shadows as much as he/she could and his behind objects in the street as he followed.

"That can't be good." He said to her.

He looked back across the roof and found a rock near his leg. He reached back and picked it up, and then stood up. He tossed it from hand to hand, getting a feel for it.

Luna looked on, confused, "What are you doing?" she hissed.

"I don't think that other pony has anything good in store for the mares."

"Well, you just can't chuck a rock at him!"

"Why not?"

"Because, that pony hasn't done anything wrong!"

He chucked the rock over his shoulder and groaned.

"Fine, I'll follow them and make sure nothing happens. You coming?"

"Of course."

The 2 flew off and maintained a position above the 2 mares, keeping an eye on the third pony following them. The Forgemaster was ecstatic when he found an even larger rock. He picked it up and hovered directly above the third pony with it. Luna yelled at him to put it down, so he shrugged and dropped it in the street immediately next to the third pony, now identified as a male.

With a *BOOM* that rattled nearby windows and scared all 3 of the ponies in the street, the boulder came to Earth.

The 2 drunken mares stumbled about, looking for the source of the noise and failing spectacularly at noticing the large boulder in the middle of the street. The stallion that the rock landed next to was sitting behind a wooden barrel, holding his chest and hyperventilating while looking up at the night sky for the source of the boulder drop. Princess Luna facehoofed at the scene below her, and The Forgemaster just looked at her with a face that said, 'You told me to.'

The stallion on the ground didn't find what he was looking for in the sky, but felt it wouldn't end well if he continued to follow the mares. He carefully slinked off in the opposite direction of the mares. The mares, after a few moments, disregarded the loud noise and continued to stumble home.

The Forgemaster, however, wasn't about to let the male leave, at least not without questioning him. He swooped down, quiet as can possibly be, and grabbed the stallion around his body and lifted him up to the rooftops where Luna was waiting. Taken completely by surprise, the unicorn male flailed about, trying to escape his kidnapper. The Forgemaster's grip, however, was as hard as steel and twice as constricting. He did not let go until the stallion was on the rooftop.

The scared unicorn backed into the corner of the rooftop, being stared down by an irate… beast… and the Princess of the Night.

The beast spoke first, "What were you planning with those mares?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"Don't take me for a fool, I saw you stalking them. Like a predator, like an animal. You were following them, finding their weaknesses, planning on taking them, weren't you?"

"I-I have no idea what you-"

The beast drew a blade and pointed it straight at his groin.

"-'re talking about. I-I was just going to help them home! I swear!"

"Princess Luna here was the one who stopped me from dropping that boulder on you; perhaps you would like to be honest with her?"

The stallion looked between Luna and The Forgemaster, clearly looking for a way out, he decided on begging, "Please, please don't hurt me!"

Princess Luna spoke for the first time, "I know what you were planning, foolish beast. Unfortunately, somepony scared you away before anything could happen."

The Forgemaster interjected, "But that doesn't mean I can't kill you."

Luna continued, "But, we can arrest you for attempted rape."

"B-but, you can't do that! I didn't do anything!"

"Nor can you tell the Princess what she can and can't do. I think that it's our word against yours, and the fact that few mares are comfortable testifying after such a horrible event means that we won't even have to provide a victim. You are truly screwed, my young rapist. What's the penalty? 5 to 7 years? You're getting off light, in my homeland; rapists had their genitalia removed."

The stallion soiled himself.

"Luna, perhaps you should go find the local police department?"

Luna nodded and flew off, going to find the local police. Leaving The Forgemaster with the one kind of person he truly cannot stand: a rapist. Luna shouldn't have been surprised that something happened, and yet she was.

Luna wasn't gone more than 15 minutes when she came back with a pegasus sheriff. But what she found was horrifying. The stallion had all of his legs broken and bruises all up and down his body. Lacerations wound their way up and down the stallions back and his horn had several chips in it, which would severely limit any magic he could ever do from that point onwards. The stallion was whimpering into the rooftop below him. She and the sheriff were gaping open mouthed at the horrific sight before them.

The Forgemaster spoke before she could, "He was trying to escape."

Luna truly doubted that the stallion had made any move to escape. But, from what Celestia had told her about The Forgemaster's old land; the stallion was getting off lightly. Evidently; he had held back.

Luna just nodded in response, too startled to trust her voice to make the correct words she wanted to say.

The Forgemaster picked the stallion up by one of his broken legs, causing the stallion to scream in agony, and handed him off to the sheriff, who quickly flew away. Now that the sheriff was gone, she planned to give The Forgemaster a piece of her mind.

The Forgemaster interrupted her once more, however, "Princess, if we don't get going now than we will be late to Night Court."

Her eyes widened and she flew off, quick as can be. Completely forgetting about the tortured unicorn.

'I'm gonna be s~o late!' She thought.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster arrived at Night Court 2 hours later. Apparently, Princess Luna had just barely made it on time to Night Court. He, on the other hand, was just happy that he had evaded a scolding from Princess Luna. It's never a good thing to have your boss mad at you. He decided to give Luna some time to think on his actions, but he needed something to do in the mean time. The Forgemaster decided to check on the 2 mares from the night club, which was a very good thing to do as it turned out, and then took his sweet time getting back to Canterlot.

As it turns out, the 2 mares were relatively well known musicians named Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, also known as DJ Pon-3. He was happy that the 2 were alright, Manehatten was not for the faint of heart. Apparently, the city of Manehatten can get quite dangerous at night, even for 'giants'. 4 colts can now attest to that fact. They had attempted to rob the 2 mares before quickly being shut down by The Forgemaster. The 2 had thanked him profusely before going back into their apartment.

After that, he had flown back to Canterlot, and just now entered Night Court. He opened the main doors quickly and loudly, scaring all of those in the room beyond. The guards were told that he was essentially a general to him, and to treat him with respect, so they didn't stop him. The Forgemaster boldly walked straight down the carpet, which divided the room into arguing rich ponies on the right and arguing normal ponies on the left, and towards Princess Luna, who was situated on her throne at the end of the carpet

He abruptly stopped several feet from Luna and bowed. He then walked up the few stairs that put her on an elevated platform and stood right by her side.

Luna took this rather abrupt entrance as an opportunity to introduce him, "Fillies and gentlecolts, may I present The Forgemaster, Duke of Ponyville and personal adviser of the princesses of day and night."

The previous stunned silence was replaced by grumbling from the congregation.

The Forgemaster leaned down to Luna's ear and whispered, "What, exactly, are we going to decide on tonight?"

She whispered back, "There are only a few more left. We will have to wait for them to describe their cases and then decide either what to do, or which party to agree with. You arrived between 2 of them, so good timing." She laughed at him.

Hopefully she had forgotten about what happened in Manehatten.

The guard nearest them, a bailiff, called out, "Now hearing the dispute between Sir Stone and Lady Hexagonal Circle."

'That has to be the weirdest name I've ever heard, even among ponies.' He thought.

According to the 2, Miss Circle agreed to tutor Stone's son in geometry but failed spectacularly in performing a satisfactory job, Stone wanted a refund while Hexagonal Circle was disputing the claim.

By far, the stupidest thing The Forgemaster had ever heard come before a king, or a princess.

The Forgemaster spoke, startling the 2 arguing, "How much was the bill?"

Stone said back to him, "53 bits!"

The Forgemaster was absolutely disgusted by these ponies.

The Forgemaster reached into his pockets and took out exactly 53 bits. He tossed them at Sir Stone's hooves and said, "This is not a matter fit to be brought before a princess, or a ruler of any kind. You may come back when a dragon burns down your home, and not before. Now get out of this courtroom!"

Everypony in the room was stunned at The Forgemaster's actions. Apparently, no one had ever done anything remotely like that to a high-class pony.

The Forgemaster spoke to the gathered ponies, "Bothering the princesses with such useless complaints could be misconstrued as disrespect for them! If any of you have anything worth being discussed by the princess, you may come forward now. If you don't have anything that could be considered worthwhile, then get out." Nopony moved, "NOW!" he snarled out.

Rarely is it a pleasant experience to see The Forgemaster angry and tonight was no exception. Fully half of the ponies in the room quickly left, almost 90% of that number being from the high-class ponies

.

"Now, we can actually solve something. Maybe. Let's get to work! Everyone, in a line, you will address yourself to the princess, you will detail what you have to say, we will make a decision, and then you will leave. Move out!"

Due to The Forgemaster's mastery of efficiency and intimidation, Night Court was finished quicker than it had ever been before.

Chapter 42

After several grueling hours of dealing with stupid and pompous nobles, the sun rose, thus signifying the end to Night Court. According to all present, it had been the most unorthodox and frankly obnoxious Night Court that they had ever witnessed, but none of them denied that The Forgemaster actually got important things, things that were actually necessary to bring before the princesses, done.

Pleased with his efficiency, if somewhat crude, manner, Princess Luna asked him to go over the budget for the next fiscal year. This added another 3 hours to the time he was spending without sleep, but he was glad to do it. After all, the person or pony that was in charge of the money is in charge of the nation. When completed with the arduous task of managing an entire country's budget, he had saved the nation bucket loads of money all in one short session with the princesses and a few prominent individuals. That cannot be said for all people who are supposed to run the country, and submit a budget to the proper authorities once a year though they haven't done so in more than 1000 days. But, I digress.

The budget for Equestria was much more streamlined: useless programs had been cut, military spending had increased in preparation for a war that may be coming, and the tax code simplified. The Forgemaster had saved Equestria money whilst simultaneously preparing it for the future. That takes balls of steel and sex appeal.

After being dismissed by the princesses of dusk and dawn, The Forgemaster flew back to his home for some well deserved R&R. He had been up for about a day exactly now, and was starting to feel the effects of fatigue. He also hadn't changed his clothes, or taken a shower, so he wasn't exactly pleasant to be around. Add to that his abrasive personality and irritableness and you get a problem waiting to happen. Fortunately, he went home before anything could happen.

The Forgemaster arrived at his home at just about noon. He opened the door and stepped inside, heading up the stairs to his room and the shower. However, something stopped him just as he was about to mount the stairs.

A noise.

A… snore.

The Forgemaster turned his head to reveal the culprit. Lying there, on the chair marked with a certain cutie mark, was a certain, light blue pegasus.

Rainbow Dash had evidently wanted to continue the conversation as soon as possible, and came into his home to ask him about it. She hadn't even taken off her Gala dress.

The Forgemaster chuckled lightly at the look on her face; she looked absolutely adorable!

However, The Forgemaster felt that it was best to let her sleep, and went upstairs to shower off the grime that had built up over the course of an entire day. He took off the USMC dress uniform, carefully folded it, and then tossed it into the wash. He then stepped into the shower, standing under the stream for several minutes. Getting out, he felt much more refreshed and smelt much better. He then redressed into his normal outfit and prepared for the lecture, and possible beat-down, that awaited him downstairs.

Going down, he noticed that even the shower hadn't roused her from her sleep. She must have been waiting up half way through the night for him. With that in mind, he went into the kitchen and prepared a breakfast for 2. While it was technically the afternoon now, nothing really ever beats breakfast foods.

'I wonder if ponies eat eggs… Celestia's memories aren't very clear on that point… weird.'

wWwWwWw

Rainbow Dash woke to the smell of freshly toasted toast and fried eggs. Well, parts of her were more awake than others. She was still in the depths of slumber when her nose brought the smells into her dream and decided to add their wonderfully melody to her already entertaining fantasy. She did however, notice the laughing that distinctly came from somewhere other than her dreams.

Her first sight, when she awoke, was the sight of a full plate of breakfast foods being wafted an inch in front of her nose. The second thing she noticed was the fact that she was drooling all over herself. The third, and most important thing, she noticed was who, exactly, it was that was holding onto the plate of wonderfully delicious food: The Forgemaster.

Her stomached grumbled.

The Forgemaster giggled at the noise, and laughed even more at the embarrassed face Rainbow made.

She glared up at him, blush still on her face, "You jerk!"

He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise, "Dear Rainbow, you wound me! To think I went through all of this trouble to make this food, and now you don't want any!" He started to speak sullenly, "I guess I'll have to throw it away."

He slowly stepped away, not taking his eyes off of hers, and laughed when her nose subconsciously followed the plate. She snapped back into focus and glared at him some more. He just took the plate away and put it onto the nearby table. He then walked behind her chair and pushed her close to the table. He then went and sat down across from her, at his own plate of food, and started to eat.

After a while, a conversation was struck up.

"So what did you do after the Gala?" he asked.

"I came back here and waited for you." She replied.

"Why ever would you do that?"

"You know why!" She snapped at him, "I came here for answers."

"Answers, I have in ample amounts. But to what questions, I wonder." He mused.

She got a look of hurt into her eyes, "Why didn't you tell me that you were him?"

He sighed, "I wanted to, but the right moment never came up. I figured it'd be fastest if I told you all at once, so I settled for right then."

A pause.

"I understand if you hate me now."

She was confused, "Why would I hate you?"

"I lied, well, not lied. I withheld information from you."

"So?"

"You still love him, err, me?"

"Why would I stop just because you aren't a pony? You told us at the Gala that we acted differently towards you because you looked different, and I wanted to change that." She smirked smugly at him.

"You're too loyal for your own good." He whispered under his breath so Rainbow couldn't hear him.

"Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash, I am unable to reciprocate those feelings. And, as cliché as it sounds; it isn't you, it's me."

"WHAT!"

His eyes glazed over, as if he were remembering, "I've lost too much, experienced more than my fair share. I've lost the ability to feel. Love, fear, hate, I've lost them all." His eyes turned dark, "I know loss, and I know gain. I feel anger, rage, contentment, pain, sadness, and not much else. I think I lost the ability to love after my third child died of old age in my arms. I turned dead inside, a defense against the only kind of pain that I can't ignore totally."

He looked down, hiding his face from Rainbow Dash.

"I understand if you hate me for real now." He said, sadly.

Rainbow was at his side in an instant, wrapping her forelegs around his chest, burying her head into his chest.

"That just means I'll have to make you love me, you big lug."

He sniffled, "This will only hurt you, Rainbow."

"I don't care! I'm going to make you love me, if it's the last thing I do!"

She started to cry into his chest, the tears running down her face and into his clothes. She wasn't crying for herself, but for him and the things that had happened to him.

They held each other in their arms, and forelegs, for a few moments.

"This would've been easier if I was a pony."

Dash just nodded her head against his chest.

After a moment, she looked into his eyes. They still had that far-away look in them that signified he wasn't really with her, just then. His lips were moving, but no noise came out louder than a whisper.

He was saying, though she could only just barely make out what he was saying, "Brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, I remember you, so you are eternal, so long as I remember, you are real. Michael, George, Victoria, Julius, Mohammad, John, Sarah, Michelangelo, Kelly, Jane, Leonardo, Mao, Elizabeth, Vladimir, Jesus, Charles, Emily, Edward, Nero, Cleopatra, Fitzgerald, Ivan, Leonidas,-"

He spoke for many minutes, at least a half hour, never stopping, never repeating a name. Rainbow Dash just hugged him tighter with each passing second, now knowing just how much he had lost, and how many bad memories he had to fight through just to get up in the morning and last until the night.

Eventually, he came to a stop. He had recited every single friend he had ever had throughout his long life, a habit he had developed to honor their memory. Unfortunately, there wasn't a single name on that list that was currently alive; to be on that list they had to die. It had been too long since he had last added a name because he hadn't met anyone recently he could call a friend. But maybe, he could add Rainbow Dash, when she, too, passed.

He would loath that day, when it came. But, he would persevere, as he had promised all of the others.

He would persevere.

Chapter 43

After such a display of tender love and stunning loss, both involved decided to end the conversation and to continue it at a later date. Rainbow Dash had left shortly after, claiming that she had to fix some 'leaking faucets'. The implications were… unsettling. The Forgemaster, on the other hand, was still incredibly tired. He went back upstairs and to his room, undressed, and fell asleep in his bed.

Handy thing about magic was; you can do almost anything that comes to mind. If it can be imagined, and with a suitable application of either magic or high explosives, The Forgemaster still wasn't quite sure how the later worked, though it did on occasion, it can be done. That had led The Forgemaster to a rather happy discovery; a simple sleeping spell with a few controls placed on it can put a body to sleep for a set amount of time. Casting such a spell on oneself was relatively simple, so he had scheduled himself to wake up at 10 o'clock the next morning.

wWwWwWw

He awoke earlier than planned.

Apparently, sleep spells were all well and good, unless someone just really, really wants to wake you up.

One of the locals was knocking on his door; the noise awakened him. Quickly pulling on his pants, he went downstairs to check on the door. To his surprise; it was not Twilight with more questions, nor was it Rainbow wanting to talk some more. In fact, it was several young fillies he had only met once before.

These young fillies were Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Applebloom, to be exact.

"Good morning younglings, what is it that you wish of me?"

"Hi Forgemaster!" They all yelled at once.

"We came by to ask how you got your cutie-mark!" Applebloom said.

"Yeah!" the other fillies interjected.

"I don't have a cutie-mark, at least, not naturally. Humans never get cutie-marks."

The young fillies were taken aback, "What! No cutie-marks! That's got to be awful! How do they know what their special talent is? Those poor, poor humans." The fillies said all at once.

"Think of it this way; my people never know their special talent, but they also are not limited by such a mark. Anyone can be anything they want, they just have to want it badly enough."

Stunned, only Applebloom managed to say, "I've never thought of it that way before."

"Hey, yeah!" yelled Sweetie Belle.

The fillies started chatting at a rapid pace, far too fast for The Forgemaster to keep up with in his groggy state. Apparently, even female ponies were capable of light-speed communication.

'I swear, it's got to be magic.' He thought.

"Girls, what exactly was it that brought this on?"

"Well, we were tryin' tha get our cutie-marks, but nothin' seemed to be workin'! So we figured; why not ask ponies that already got their cutie-mark?" Applebloom replied.

"Why don't you just do what you are really good at?"

"How do you know that'll work? If we're already really good at it but we don't have our cutie-marks then it can't be our special talent!"

"According to what sources I have; the pony has to realize that it is their special talent before they get their cutie-mark."

Scootaloo was getting impatient, and the other fillies weren't listening to him, "Come on! Let's go find Rainbow Dash and ask how she got her cutie-mark."

He sighed at the sight of them rushing away on Scootaloo's scooter. No matter where he went; children refuse to listen to the advice of their elders. He went back upstairs and got dressed, completely this time. He then left his house and went down to Sugarcube Corner. He walked in and ordered 3 dozen cupcakes. After getting them, he sat down at a table and started on them.

Over the course of a few minutes; Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash came into the store. Rainbow Dash started to steal his cupcakes when she thought he wasn't looking and the other mares got their own food. A conversation sprouted up almost immediately.

"So, have Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Applebloom came around and asked you girls about your cutie-marks? asked Twilight.

All of the ponies at the table assented in some form, save Rainbow Dash.

"I would say that yes, they did come and ask me about my cutie-mark but, I'm not a female, in case you haven't noticed. So I'll just not respond." declared The Forgemaster.

Twilight glared at him, "Why do you always have to be a jerk?"

"Why do you insist on referring to me as a female?"

She looked exasperated, "I wasn't calling you a mare! I was just asking the ponies here."

"Yes, because I'm not important enough." He said in a mocking tone.

"Ugh, stop acting like such a foal!"

"I'm going to be the bigger man here, and not dignify that with a response."

Twilight groaned angrily, while the others at the table just snickered at their antics.

The Forgemaster took this time to whisper to Rainbow Dash, "I know that you noticed that I was male."

She choked on the cupcake she just took a bite of and started coughing into her hoof. The others looked at her strangely, but were distracted by The Forgemaster's coming question.

"So, how did you all get your cutie-marks? And, I already know yours, Twilight Sparkle."

He giggled and pointed at her outraged face.

"We'll, Ah thought that the best place for me was to leave the farm and go to the city. Ah didn't really like it there and went back to the farm, realizin' that I belonged there is how Ah got mah cutie-mark."

"I was making some costumes for my friends in a school-play, but their costumes were lacking something, but I didn't know what. Then my magic took control and dragged me out to the outskirts and to a large rock. An explosion cracked the rock and allowed me to find the large cache of gems hidden within. As it turns out, those gems were exactly what my costumes needed."

"It was super-dooper boring on the rock farm that I grew up in, so when I saw the most awesomest, splendiforest, coolest, and happiest thing ever, I just wanted to spread the happiness. And that's how I got my cutie-mark, by throwing a party for my family!"

"I was, b-being bullied, and then Rainbow came to my rescue. But, I was knocked down to the ground and couldn't stop myself in time; I was never the strongest flyer. But this group of butterflies saved me from hitting the ground, and I realized how beautiful it was on the ground. Then, an explosion startled all of the animals, when I helped them I realized that that was my special talent and I've never left the ground or my animal friends since."

Twilight took her turn to tell the others about her cutie-mark story. But, The Forgemaster just tuned her out; not listening to Twilight tell a story he already knew was infinitely a better option than actually listening to her.

"So, what about you, Forgemaster?" asked Twilight, smugly.

"Don't have one, don't want one, and don't need one. You already knew that, Twilight Sparkle. Humans don't get them." He said, not even looking at her, instead focusing on his next cupcake that he had been diligently demolishing.

The other mares glared at Twilight, thinking that she had offended him.

"Jeez, I'm so sorry."

"I couldn't care less, Twilight sparkle. If anything, your cutie-marks delegate you to only one skill set, only one career. Human potential is endless. I actually pity you."

"WHAT!" they all yelled at him simultaneously.

"Cutie-marks are both good and bad. Good because you know without a shadow of a doubt what you're good at. Humans don't get that opportunity. Bad because you are only good at that one thing, Humans have no such limitation. Have you seen some of those fillies in the school's cutie-marks? What in the hell are Silver Spoon or Diamond Tiara going to be good at?"

The mares couldn't respond, he had brought up a decent argument, after all. Thankfully, The Cutie Mark Crusaders chose that moment to walk in through the doors. Rainbow Dash looked smugly at the rest of those present before turning to the young fillies.

"Rainbow Dash, you're here!" screamed Scootaloo.

"I hear you're looking for my cutie mark story?"

Scootaloo sighed, "You have no idea what I've been through today to hear that story."

"It all happened during the race at Flight Camp, where I stood alone against all odds to defend Fluttershy's honor. I've never flown like THAT before. That freedom was unlike anything I've ever felt. The speed, the adrenaline, the wind in my mane... I liked it a lot. Turns out the only thing I liked more than flying fast... was winning! Most people thought that the Sonic Rainboom was just an old mare's tail. But that day... The day I discovered racing... I proved that the legends were true. I made the impossible happen! And that, little ones, is how you earn a cutie mark."

"Wooow!" The CMC replied simultaneously.

"Wait a second. I heard that explosion. And I saw the rainbow too. Rainbow Dash, if you hadn't scared the animals, I never would have learned I could communicate with them and gotten my cutie mark." said Fluttershy.

"I heard that boom! And right afterwards there was this amazing rainbow that taught me to smile." Said Pinkie Pie.

"When I got my cutie mark, I saw a rainbow that pointed me home. I bet it was your sonic rainboom!" said Applejack.

"There was an explosion I could never explain when I got my cutie mark, too." said Rarity.

"This is uncanny! If that explosion didn't happen when it did, I would have blown my entrance exam. Rainbow Dash, I think you helped me earn my cutie mark too!"

"Oh, gods. I sense a group hug coming on." The only male present declared, which the others ignored.

"We all owe our cutie marks to you!" screamed Pinkie Pie.

"Do you realize what this means? All of us had a special connection before we even met." Said Fluttershy, as loudly as she possibly dared.

The Forgemaster put his head into his hands, groaning.

"We've been BFFs forever and we didn't even know it!" exclaimed Rarity.

"Come here, y'all" demanded Applejack.

The 6 mares all came together in a group hug, saying, "Awwww."

"I told you, group hug. I could feel it in my bones a mile away."

The Forgemaster gathered the 2 cupcakes that remained and quickly left the store before anything worse could happen. On the field of battle, he was fine, in a room full of sickly-sweet ponies; he was so out of place he might as well be a full-grown dragon in the Human Relations department at Wal-Mart.

Making his way home as quickly as he could, he still managed to notice that he was being followed. Time to follow rule number 1: always assume the worst, in this case, assassination. Azodious was a very cut-throat kingdom, but there hadn't been any assassination attempts on him in years. At least, not since the last assassins that tried to kill him. 150 years later and they still hadn't found all of the pieces of those assassins. Poor bastards. Well… at least they didn't suffer too badly… for the first 3 minutes.

Whoever was following him was doing a terrible job of it, to be perfectly honest. Living in a peaceful world apparently made you soft. Then again, being a predator amongst prey is always a benefit.

He went into his home and went into his armory, leaving the front door open as he did so. He found his new favorite toy, the 'Zapper', and went back into his living room. Concentrating, he became invisible with the aid of magic. Due to the appropriate runes in his blade and in his clothes, they too became invisible. Totally impossible to see, he sat down on the table, and quieted his bodily functions. His heartbeat, normally too quiet to hear, became dimmer nonetheless and his breathing became slow, measured, and silent. To anyone that didn't know that he was there, in that exact spot, they could never find him if they had an hour and 30 men searching the house. He sat, waited, and faced the doorway.

Either the assassins were inexperienced or they were just fools. They entered the front door, an obvious trap, in just under a minute. As The Forgemaster got the first chance to look at his stalkers, he noticed that he was right: these were assassins, not spies searching for information, but murderers out for blood. Another thing he noticed was that the 3 griffon team was in fact comprised of griffons. An amateurish mistake; if the king of the griffons wanted to kill him and not leave evidence, he should at least have hired some other species besides the one he ruled over to do the work.

But, then again, other species wouldn't be as much fun as a pack of griffons could be.

The 3 were obviously careful, if inexperienced. They were also wary for a trap, one that they had unknowingly already sprung. The 3 hadn't gone much further than the very beginnings of his living room, searching the room for him with their eyes and ears. In fact, they hadn't even reached carpeting yet. The Forgemaster ever so carefully stepped down from his perch and crept past them and to his door. He flicked a bit of magic towards where he kept his pots and pans, disturbing them. The resulting crash and jingle was more than enough to get them away from his door and into the kitchen, though they froze immediately once they noticed he wasn't in there

For his part, he reached out to the door and slammed it as hard as he could, and then locked it.

The *boom* of the closing door alerted them to the fact that something was very wrong. The trio looked between themselves, but froze when they heard a demonic voice come from the very air.

"Griffons… I want to play a game, and you're the participants." Manic laughter followed.

The Forgemaster used his magic and slowly, one by one, lowered the blinds on all of his windows leaving the room very, very dark: dark enough that they could still see the others' silhouettes, but nothing else and no definition. The griffons were getting scared now… but not scared enough.

Tip toeing quietly behind one of them, the youngest if appearances are anything to go by, grabbed him by the leg and dragged him away from his fellows at an alarming rate. The poor griffon struggled against his grip and screamed, clawing at the floors to stop himself, and failing miserably. Safely alone in the other room, The Forgemaster applied pressure to his wings joints, making him scream out in agony. The Forgemaster quickly silenced the creature with a sleeping spell, giving the griffon the appearance of death. The remaining pair were panicking once they discovered the 'body' of their compatriot.

The 2 picked up the griffon and ran towards the door, they started to pull on the handle and panicked even more when the door didn't budge an inch.

The Forgemaster laughed a manic laugh once more, scaring the griffons even more. In fact, one of them soiled himself. He then retreated into the kitchen and brought out a pair of manticore bones. He held them in his left hand and with his right, reached out and grabbed the other griffon that wasn't the leader around the neck. Simultaneously casting the sleeping spell, lifting the griffon into the air, and crushing the manticore bones in his left hand create an amazingly accurate neck breaking illusion. The moment the griffon struggled, followed by his immediate going limp when the bones were crushed further amplified the illusion.

Psychological warfare was The Forgemaster's favorite weapon, and his deadliest. If an enemy was too frightened of you to fight, than you always win. But, you must always remember to back up your reputation with cold, hard facts. For there will come a day when you face an enemy that knows no fear. The Forgemaster needn't worry about facing an enemy to fear: he knows no fear for he is fear incarnate!

The one remaining griffon, the leader, was absolutely bat-shit scared for his life now. He even went so far as to beg for his life to an invisible specter that wasn't there. A quick tap on the shoulder with The Forgemaster's electric weapon stunned the leader, and the sleeping spell laid over him would insure that he stayed asleep.

The Forgemaster picked up the 3 griffons and carried them over his back. He created a portal with his magic and stepped through the shimmering oval. Once through, he was in Celestia's throne room. He dropped the 3 griffons at her feet, Royal Guards raising their weapons at the trio.

Without preamble, he said, "Celestia, we have a problem."

Chapter 45

By the time The Forgemaster returned home, it was far too late to do anything. He simply went to sleep. For once, his sleep wasn't disturbed by either his memories or a pony waking him in the middle of the night. When he woke up the next morning, he quickly went through his normal routine of washing, changing his clothes, and then eating a nice breakfast comprised of mostly manticore bacon, manticore eggs, and manticore bread. Don't ask how manticore bread is made; suffice to say that it involves a shredder, flour, and parts of manticores.

Immediately after he was done eating, somepony knocked on his door, he went to go answer it.

The second he opened the door, Rainbow Dash tackled him yelling, "Forgey!"

Holding the hugging pegasus to his chest with an arm, he said, "Good morning, Rainbow."

Still in his arm, he looked up at him, "Where did you go yesterday? I wanted to talk to you."

"Something came up, I had to go to Canterlot, and we can talk now if you want."

"Okay!" she dropped out of his arm and ran into his living room.

When he entered the room immediately after her, she was sitting in her very own cutie-marked chair. He went and sat down in the chair across from her.

"So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Do you wanna be my colt-friend?" she suddenly blurted out.

He hesitated for a moment, "Sure…"

"YES!" she screamed while she hoof-pumped.

"Anything else?"

"Well, did you want to talk about that… conversation?" she asked sheepishly.

"Not especially, but I can tell that you do."

With an indignant grunt, she said, "Why don't you feel?"

"Defense mechanism."

"But, you said that you didn't even want friends." She said, insistent.

"If I don't have friends, then when they die I don't care."

"That's not very smart!" she yelled.

"It is better to be eternally lonely than to grieve for your fallen comrades." His voice sullen

She paused for a second, "It doesn't sound like you believe that."

He growled so low it was almost imperceptible, "Imagine everypony that you've ever met dying, while you still live. At first, your way is the correct way: continue to make friends and be social. But, after a few centuries go by, that doesn't work anymore. The dead friends that you constantly remember build up and compound themselves, so much so that you would do anything to stop it. You figure, 'If it hurts this bad now, then making new friends would just make it worse when they, too, die.' And you would be completely, and irrevocably, correct."

She was glaring at him now.

"I am no stranger to death, Rainbow, but death is a stranger to me."

"So you're just gonna live your life a cold, heartless, friendless, and lonely old man?"

"I'm far from heartless, how else would I pump blood? And, I said that I try not to make friends, but you damnable ponies seem to be making that impossible for me. As for being cold and lonely, well, they are both necessary."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked.

"Were I not a cold being, I would have likely killed myself centuries ago. Being cold is the only thing that has kept me from caring too much. If I care, then when whatever I care about dies or is lost, I become sad. Get sad enough and I might just off myself." He gave off a stifled laugh, "Even as cold as I am, or try to be, someone always manages to crack my shell. There is a thing, a state of being in my people's culture that aptly describes what I am: comfortably numb."

He looked Rainbow Dash dead in the eye.

"When you, too, leave me. Know that I will remember you as one of the few good ones."

She looked at him with hurt in her eyes, "I would never leave you."

"Unfortunately, when you die, you will. You have to."

He sighed, "Can we get off this topic? It never ends well for me."

"No! We will keep talking until you tell me that you love me!"

"Rainbow Dash, I care for you, I really do, but asking for more than that right now isn't a very wise course of action."

She huffed and then walked towards the door, "Don't even think for an instant that we're done here! I'll be back!" She slammed the door.

He stared at the door for a few minutes, wondering just how much crap he would have to deal with later. Just as he was about to leave, he realized something: he was still bored! Then, something struck him: he was a duke, a Lord-General, and Celestia's personal lapdog: he could finally have some work to do! He didn't care about the titles, but they did bring some much wanted responsibilities to his table, something for him to distract himself with.

'Oh, why can't the griffons just attack right now? I need something to kill!' he thought.

But then he remembered Rainbow Dash and something strange happened; he felt bad! Strange. That rarely happened to him anymore. Rainbow Dash probably wanted to kill him now. He looked back at the door for a moment, and then turned around and headed out to his forge.

"Loneliness," He began quietly, "Is a curse that always strikes the strongest. Even I cannot defeat it, because it is not something that strength alone can destroy. It requires friends, and friends require effort, and effort requires caring, and caring requires feelings, and feelings leave over the centuries, leaving only the ones that hurt."

He stepped out into his backyard that was littered with tools and random piles of metal ingots, whistling a happy tune. If anyone was watching, they would've seen a perfectly normal person, but underneath his façade, he was troubled.

wWwWwWw

(Screw Chronology once more!)

After mixing quite a few elements that, apparently, didn't like being near each other, The Forgemaster learned firsthand what a Cesium bomb looks like. As it turns out, in addition to being violently explosive, it's also deliciously explosive!

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"

He crashed into the side of a building that was… actually not anywhere nearby! As most of the house came down around him, he quickly hurried out of the room as a large cloud of dust enveloped him and some nearby ponies. He ran to the other side of the street and looked back at the house he had just demolished with his own body.

He brushed the dust off of his clothes and coughed up some of the same. His eyebrows were burnt off, much of his hair went with it, and his face had been flash-sunburned. His clothes were in slightly better condition, due to the magical energies coursing through them, they had also borne the brunt of the explosion.

"Ohmigosh! Are you okay!"

'Oh wonderful, Twilight Sparkle.' He thought.

"I didn't know that I could make a thermo-nuclear warhead without nuclear materials. Good to know, actually." He replied.

He looked over at Twilight and noticed for the first time that she was kind of… off, that morning. Her eyes were manic, her huge smile obviously forced, and she had probably snapped. He was going to have to distract her so she can regain her senses.

"Is there anything I can do as a good friend?" she asked, leaning far too far into his personal space.

"We aren't good friends, Twilight Sparkle; I would barely even call us acquaintances. But, I suppose there could be something you can help with."

"What is it! I'll do anything!" she screamed at him.

He grinned at her choice of words, "Good, because I've got a serious case of blue balls."

Twilight was incredibly confused, "W-What?"

"Never mind that, do you know anything about the transmutation of metals into another metal?" he asked.

"I think I have a spell for that. What do you need?"

"It's back at my hopefully-not-destroyed house! I am going to create my personally favorite metal: Adamantium. It's impossible to create single-handedly."

The 2 walked towards The Forgemaster's house, where a large mushroom cloud was just now dissipating.

"What's Adamantium, and why's it called that?"

"Well, Adam was the first man, and Adamantium is the first amongst metals! A strange metal too. Acts nothing like one, but cannot possibly be classified as a non-metal."

"Why's that?" her innate curiosity overcoming her mania

"It doesn't act like one. It barely conducts either heat or electricity. But, it's lustrous, solid at room temperature, and dense as fuck! You couldn't cut it with a diamond. The only way to get through it is to heat it up, but since it barely conducts heat it takes a lo~ong time to do that. That makes it perfect for armor and swords! No one in their right mind would stand in a fire for the enemy."

By the time his explanation was complete, they were already at his house. He quickly lead her though his living room and out to the back yard. He grimaced at the sight of his backyard. Strangely, nothing much was destroyed, everything was just thrown every which way! Even his fence was intact. Apparently, he had been standing at the perfect angle to be thrown that far from the explosion.

He quickly gathered the necessary ingredients. One ingot of gold, 4 of bronze, 7 of copper, and 72 of iron! He then lectured Twilight on the task she volunteered to perform.

"Alright, Twilight Sparkle. The bronze, gold, and copper go inside the smelter. After they are liquid, you must add the ingots of iron to the ore whilst simultaneously transmuting them into titanium. It is impossible to maintain concentration on the transmutation, the levitating, and load coal for the smelter all at once so I'll handle the levitating and the shoveling, you just concentrate on the transmuting. It requires very accurate timing, the transmutation must be allowed to finish half-way through, and then into the ore it goes!"

2 hours later, all they had to show for their work was a half-dozen golden ingots of Adamantium. Twilight Sparkle was coated in sweat and exhausted, using that much magic had really drained her. The Forgemaster looked haggard, though he hadn't changed from when he started; his haggardness was due to the earlier explosion. Between the 2 of them, Twilight was simultaneously more shocked, and more insane.

Staring at the 6 ingots she said, "But, how? We put more than 80 ingots into the smelter!"

"I told you; those things are dense! One of those ingots probably weighs a ton." He paused for a moment, "You can go now, I've had enough of your help for the day, you can go."

She still looked crazy, the eyes gave away her strained mental state the most, "But, I haven't learned anything for the Friendship report! I'm gonna be tardy!"

He raised a brow at her, "You came to the one person in Ponyville who actively tries to not have friends for something that has to do with friendship?"

She ignored him, and looked around in an insane manner, muttering to herself under her breath. She then suddenly jumped away from him screaming something about a picnic.

He rubbed his temples with his thumb and middle finger, "I'm going to have to follow her, aren't I?" he asked no one in particular.

He sighed, "Yeah, I thought so."

He then walked in the same direction she had gone.

wWwWwWw

As he made his way down the main street of Ponyville, Spike came up to him.

"Hey, big guy! You seen Twilight anywhere?"

"She came by my house and helped me with something, and then she ran away screaming something about a picnic."

"Alright, follow me!"

Spike ran off towards the open fields just before the Everfree forest, The Forgemaster following just behind. Spike and he came upon the other 'Elements' in time to see Twilight run off.

"Crap, there she goes. I'll go get her."

The Forgemaster ran off towards where Twilight had ran off to.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Rainbow Dash asked, flying after him.

Continuously running, he asked, "Did you notice anything… off about Twilight?"

"Yah, she was freaking out about a late letter to the Princess."

"Shit! So, that's why she snapped."

"Huh?"

"The only thing Twilight Sparkle hates more than dealing with me, is being late with anything ever, or maybe being unorganized, and possibly being wrong. I assume she went off the deep end of her own sanity."

"That sounds like Twilight…"

They continued to run, or fly in Rainbow's case, after Twilight. They found her in a few minutes near a crowd of ponies fighting over… a doll? As soon as they saw the doll, Rainbow Dash leapt into the fray, trying to get the doll. The Forgemaster, on the other hand, was used to dealing with his own urges, so while he still felt the spells pull as much as the ponies did, it didn't affect him as it did them. There is something to show for self-discipline.

"What the actual fuck, Twilight Sparkle?" He said upon reaching her position on top of the hill.

She was startled in a way only a thief caught red-handed could be, "W-Why aren't you affected by the spell?"

"Never said, I wasn't. Right now I would like nothing more than to go into that crowd of ponies and make sweet love to that doll, but, then again, I couldn't care less about the doll. Now what the hell did you do?"

"I-I used a 'want it need it' spell on the doll, and then things spiraled out of control."

"Hmm… I could fix this, but then you wouldn't learn anything. So, I'm just gonna lie back and watch you get yelled at by the princess in… 38 seconds."

At that moment, the other 'Elements' decided to show up, except for Rainbow Dash who was still fighting a large, red stallion he had never seen before over the doll. The Forgemaster was now lying on his back with his hat over his face, looking as though he were taking a nap.

"Y'all hear that? What in the name of all things oats 'n apples is goin' on here?" said Applejack as she arrived.

"Don't look at it!" screamed Twilight right back at her waving hr hooves around madly.

"In a word, Twilight Sparkle: Eloquent." declared The Forgemaster from his position.

"Don't look at what?" asked Rarity

"My Smarty Pants doll! I enchanted her and now everypony is fighting over her!"

"Smarty Pants?" questioned The Forgemaster.

"Why would you enchant your doll?" whispered Fluttershy, or maybe yelled, it all sounds the same, really.

"Oh, I had to do something! I had nothing to report to Princess Celestia! I thought if I couldn't find a problem, I'd make a problem! The day is almost over!" explained Twilight

"Not almost!" Applejack pointed at the sun, which chose that specific moment to dip below the horizon.

In a flash of bright, white light, which caused The Forgemaster to yell about inconsiderate ponies interrupting his nap even though he wasn't, Princess Celestia appeared. She quickly cast a spell remedying the situation, and turned to Twilight.

"Twilight Sparkle!" she said.

"Whoa nelly." Applejack backed up.

"Meet me in the library." Apparently, Celestia was a little miffed.

"Yeah, you get 'er Tia!" said a certain human, lazily adding to the conversation.

"You too!" Celestia said before zapping off, presumably to the library.

"Blood and damnation!" the Forgemaster cursed quite loudly, before shoving his hat back on and walking towards the library.

"Goodbye girls. If you care to visit, I'll be in magic kindergarten, back in Canterlot." Twilight said, following The Forgemaster.

Along the way to the library, The Forgemaster tried to make conversation with Twilight, and failed. Mostly because it was more like complaining that he was getting in trouble rather than anything Twilight actually did, for once.

Once in the library, The Forgemaster managed to stay out of the conversation; in fact, he ignored it, and went into the corner and leafed through some books. Until Celestia tried to include him in the conversation.

"Do you have anything to add, Forgemaster?"

He had no idea what the conversation had been about, "Hmm… Twilight Sparkle should be put into prison, and then banished, and then put into prison in the place she was banished to."

Twilight visibly paled when he said that.

'How can she pale? For that matter, how can ponies blush! Ugh, this place is so confusing' he thought, and then thumped his head on the table.

Celestia raised a single brow, "I take it that you were zoned out and didn't hear anything we said?"

He grinned cheekily at her, "Nope! I just ignored you. Waiting for my turn to get yelled at."

Twilight's jaw dropped from what he was saying, surely he wouldn't get away with saying that to the princess? And, to her astonishment, she did!

She rolled her eyes at him, "Well, it's not like it had anything to do with you. And, just don't call me Tia in public, I've told you this!"

He looked down in false sadness and spoke in monotone, "Sorry, Tia…"

Twilight's friends chose that moment to enter the library.

"Wait!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

"You can't punish her!" added Pinkie.

"It wasn't her fault!" declared Applejack.

Celestia replied with a stern, "I'm listening."

Fluttershy started, "Please, your highness. We all saw that Twilight was upset..."

Rainbow Dash picked it up next, "...but we thought that the thing she was worrying about wasn't worth worrying about."

Over to Applejack with the weather, "So when she ran off all worked up, not a single one of us tried to stop her."

Rarity comes in with the traffic report, "As Twilight's good friends, we should have taken her feelings seriously and been there for her!"

Fluttershy gave the salutation, "Please don't take her away from us just because we were too insensitive to help her."

Celestia stood there for a moment and looked down on her little ponies, "Looks like you all learned a pretty valuable lesson today."

The ponies all hummed a response in the positive.

"Very well. I'll forget Twilight's "punishment" on one condition."

The mares all agreed to that.

"From this day forth, I would like you all to report to me your findings on the magic of friendship, when, and only when, you happen to discover them."

While the ponies opened their mouths to say yes, or cheer, or whatever it was they were going to do, The Forgemaster spoke, "Oh, Hell no!"

Celestia sighed, "Don't worry, you don't have to."

"Good, because you wouldn't ever get a letter from me."

The others in the room glared at him for his 'disrespect', but Celestia knew that this was his colorful way of declining a task, and stating what would happen were the task to be given. He didn't actually mean any disrespect.

Celestia made as though to leave, when Twilight said, "Princess Celestia, wait! How did you know I was in trouble?"

"Your friend Spike made me aware that you were letting your fears get the best of you. I commend him for taking your feelings seriously-"

"And, for the record, I warned the good princess on the fragility of your sanity beforehand." interjected The Forgemaster.

"-Now, if you will all excuse me, I must return to Canterlot. I'm expecting some mail."

While Twilight was glaring at The Forgemaster, Applejack said, "Y'all heard the Princess. Spike, take a letter."

"Dear Princess Celestia, we're writin' to you because today we all learned a little somethin' about friendship." Began Applejack.

"We learned that you should take your friends' worries seriously." continued Fluttershy.

"Even if you don't think that she has anything to worry about." Continued Rainbow Dash.

"And that you shouldn't let your worries turn a small problem..." Rarity said

"...into an enormously huge entire-town-in-total-chaos Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem." Interjected Pinkie

"Signed, your loyal subjects." Finished Applejack.

"P.S. Obviously Spike did not have to learn a lesson, because he is the best, most awesome friend a pony could ask for. Unlike everypony else, he took things seriously, and-"

He sputtered off and then stopped when he noticed the glares the mares in the room were giving him. After which, they all shortly laughed at him.

They all started at the sudden noise of a guitar being strummed. They looked over to The Forgemaster who was looking out the window from the couch while lying on his back, holding his guitar. He began to sing a song, and strummed his guitar to the tune.

With a voice with an almost ghostly quality to it, he sang:

Hello, hello, hello

Is there anybody in there

Just nod if you can hear me

Is there anyone at home

Come on now

I hear you're feeling down

I can ease your pain

And get you on your feet again

Relax

I'll need some information first

Just the basic facts

Can you show me where it hurts

There is no pain, you are receding

A distant ship smoke on the horizon

You are only coming through in waves

Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying

When I was a child I had a fever

My hands felt just like two balloons

Now I've got that feeling once again

I can't explain, you would not understand

This is not how I am

I have become comfortably numb

O.K.

Just a little pin prick

There'll be no more aaaaaaaah!

But you may feel a little sick

Can you stand up?

I do believe it's working, good

That'll keep you going through the show

Come on it's time to go.

There is no pain you are receding

A distant ship smoke on the horizon

You are only coming through in waves

Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying

When I was a child

I caught a fleeting glimpse

Out of the corner of my eye

I turned to look but it was gone

I cannot put my finger on it now

The child is grown

The dream is gone

And I have become

Comfortably numb.

(© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc. Pink Floyd)

The silence after such a performance was palpable.

Rainbow Dash understood why he had said that he was comfortably numb: better to feel nothing than only pain.

(A/N – And…. on that cheery note, the chapter is done!)

Chapter 46

The Forgemaster was trudging through the underbrush, following a hovering Rainbow Dash as she led him to an undisclosed location.

"Where are we going again?" asked The Forgemaster

Rainbow Dash's reply was slightly indignant, "I told you! I've been teaching Fluttershy learn how to cheer so she can be there for me during the Best Young Flyer's competition, but I need a second opinion."

"Adorable." He said without hesitation.

"Huh?"

"That is my opinion of Fluttershy: she is adorable." He said while jumping over a downed tree.

Rainbow Dash seemed to think for a moment, her hoof on her chin, then she said, "Yeah, I'll give that one to you: she is gorgeous."

"Hmm, Rainbow, I didn't know that you had those thoughts about Fluttershy…" he said with a small smirk.

She immediately face-hoofed, "Ugh, why can't a mare give another mare a compliment without all the colts thinking they're together?"

He was in the middle of navigating through a particularly dense area of the forest when he replied, "I was just teasing you. I know that you only have those thoughts for Applejack."

She sputtered, and blushed madly, too consumed with her emotions to give a response quickly. He just laughed at the look on her face. Eventually, she managed to think up a come-back.

"Well, no sex for you tonight then." She stuck her tongue out at him

He slowly raised a brow at her, "I'm not some 17 year old colt, Rainbow. I don't have to have sex all night, every night. Unless of course; you want to."

She just groaned at him, but otherwise didn't reply. Rainbow just kept hovering a few feet ahead of him, leading him towards either Fluttershy, or a cliff. Rainbow had tried the cliff thing before.

After a few minutes of silently, or as quiet as he possibly could, fighting his way through a forest that seemed hell-bent on stopping him, Rainbow Dash asked him something, "Why do you walk everywhere? I mean, you can teleport and you have wings!"

He sniffed indignantly, "I am not used to my wings. Imagine if you were to grow a horn, you wouldn't be used to it in a few weeks. Especially considering that I've not had wings for 99.999999999999999-"

"Shut up! I get it!"

"-9999999999% of my lifetime. And, as for teleporting: I need to know where I am going in relation to where I am. Then, I rend a hole in the time-space continuum that acts as a portal and then I step right through."

"Alright, I understood some of that…"

"Ugh, I make a doorway to anywhere, and then I take a step and I'm there."

"That's actually… really cool!"

In a few more minutes, the 2 came upon a clearing with an awaiting Fluttershy in it.

wWwWwWw

Time Lapse: 2 Hours.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were standing facing each other, with Rainbow occasionally hovering around Fluttershy. The Forgemaster, on the other hand, was doing his damnest to laze about under the nearest tree, listening in on the conversation.

"Now, what have we learned?" Rainbow asked Fluttershy

"Loss of control."

"Good."

"Screaming and hollering."

The Forgemaster snorted at that, but the mares paid him no heed.

"Yes, and most importantly?"

"Passion."

"Right! So, now that you know the elements of a good cheer, let's hear one."

Fluttershy inhaled loudly, and then, "Yay!"

The Forgemaster was knocked out of his daze by a sudden and overwhelming wave of cuteness that came from… somewhere. He was immediately alert, and looked around, attempting to find the source.

"Louder!"

"Yay!"

The Forgemaster bristled, 'There it was again! Now, where did it come from?'

"Louder!"

Fluttershy inhaled quite loudly, assuming a stable stance, and then, "Yay!"

The Forgemaster had been examining the trees just over Fluttershy's head when she said that, his eyes immediately looked onto her. He quickly got down on his knees, and looked as though he were praying.

"Madre de dios, y todos los santos! That was amazing!"

Rainbow Dash glared towards him, "Come on, big guy! Show her how it's done!"

Fluttershy looked quizzically between the 2 of them, before asking, "Too loud?"

He barked out a laugh at her, "No, Fluttershy, it was the perfect amount of cuteness!"

Rainbow Dash just facehoofed, "No, Fluttershy, you just weren't doing it loud enough! Come on, I'll show you my routine," She pointed directly at him with a hoof, "And you show her how to cheer right. Lead by example."

"Alright, I'll do it, now go, fly away and do your whimsical tricks." He said with a heavily mocking tone.

She glared at him before flying off to go perform her 'whimsical tricks'.

During her routine, The Forgemaster was shouting his head off, as Fluttershy gently called out her own. However, the difference between the 2 wasn't really in how they were saying it, but what they were saying.

Fluttershy was going through the usual, 'yay's and 'woohoo's, but The Forgemaster was saying completely different things and therefore completely shot Rainbow Dash's performance.

As Rainbow Dash flew in between the trees, The Forgemaster was cheering, "Woo, check out that flank!"

As Rainbow was flying through the clouds, making them spin, The Forgemaster called out, "Whoa Lord, did you see that plot!"

When Rainbow Dash was just about to accomplish her famous 'Sonic Rainboom', The Forgemaster yelled something that distracted her, "Mm-mm, I'd like to buck that fine piece of mare all night long!"

Needless to say, Fluttershy was mortified, and Rainbow Dash was far too distracted to complete her routine. Just before she crossed the sound-barrier, it rejected her and threw her through the air to land, coincidentally, inside the Ponyville Library.

'Ugh, incessant lavender unicorn.' Was his first thought as he flew towards where Rainbow Dash had crashed, Fluttershy following right behind him.

The Forgemaster went straight through the window that Rainbow Dash had crashed through, and hovered above the large pile of books and ponies. Fluttershy, however, alighted upon the windowsill.

She said, "Rainbow Dash, you rock! Woohoo!" Fluttershy then seemed to see the inside of the library for the first time and gasped, "Did my cheering do that?"

While The Forgemaster tittered at her, Rainbow spoke up from a nearby pile of books, "Hehe. Sorry about that ladies. THAT was a truly feeble performance."

Fluttershy spoke up in defense of her routine, "Actually, it wasn't all bad. I particularly liked it when you made the clouds spin."

However, it seems as though she was not talking about her routine, "Ugh. I'm not talking about my performance, I'm talking about yours. That feeble cheering!"

The Forgemaster, who had since sat down on the stair, spoke in defense of Fluttershy, "Her name is Fluttershy, and she is too adorable to be insulted. Apologize." It was a demand, not a request.

While Fluttershy blushed and hid behind her mane at the compliment, and Rainbow Dash glared at him, Twilight spoke, "What are you 2 arguing about?"

"Were we arguing? I'm sorry." Said Fluttershy, seemingly mortified at the very idea of argument.

Rainbow Dash groaned at her, "I wish you guys could come to Cloudsdale to see me compete in the Best Young Flyer Competition." She said, indicating the non-pegasi, "Instead I'm stuck with grumpy and quiety." She pointed at Fluttershy and he.

"What's that?" asked Twilight, questions as always.

Pinkie answered for the wing-ed, "It's where all the greatest Pegasus flyers get together and show off their different flying styles! Some are fast!" Pinkie made some… disturbingly accurate car sounds, seeing as how she can't know about them, "And some are graceful. Woah, woah, WooooaaAAAAHH!" Pinkie had tried to dance on her hind legs, but fell over in the books.

"Golly. I'd love to see you strut yer stuff in that competition." said Applejack.

"Yeah. I wish you guys could be there. Fluttershy's a great support, but her cheering isn't exactly inspirational. And The Forgemaster is great at cheering, but not exactly… safe for normal ponies to hear." She said while blushing, remembering exactly what he had said about her.

The other ponies looked at them questioningly, but the ponies were blushing to badly to respond, and The Forgemaster wasn't about to speak before being spoken to.

And suddenly; Pinkie, "OOH! I'd love to see you make a sonic rainboom! It's like, the most coolest thing ever! Even though I've never actually seen it, but I mean COME ON! It's a sonic rainboom! How not cool could it possibly not be?"

"What's a sonic rainboom?" asked Twilight.

'For once, just not question something.' The Forgemaster thought as he buried his head in his hands.

He then looked up to see the confused faces of the ponies, "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Thankfully, there was a Pinkie in attendance, which quickly diverted attention from him, "You really need to get out more. The sonic rainboom is legendary! When a Pegasus like Rainbow Dash gets going s~o fast... BOOM! A sonic boom and a rainbow can happen all at once!"

"And Rainbow Dash here's the only pony to ever pull it off!" added Applejack

"It was a long time ago... I was just a filly."

"Rainbow Dash, modest?" asked The Forgemaster.

Rainbow glared at him, but the others laughed at it.

"Yeah, but you're gonna do it again, right?"

"Are... you kidding? I'm the greatest flyer to ever come out of Cloudsdale! I could do sonic rainbooms in my sleep." said Rainbow, after a short pause and some forced confidence.

"I don't think doing sonic rainbooms in your sleep would be very conducive to a healthy life." stated The Forgemaster, as dry as though he were reading a college grad's research paper on economics.

"Shut up, you!"

After a moment of silence, and some helpless snickering, Twilight spoke once more, "Wow. If you pull that off, you'll win the crown for sure!"

"The grand prize is an entire day with the Wonderbolts. A whole day of flying with my life-long heroes... It'll be a dream come true!"

"Yay."

"D'awwww" came from The Forgemaster, along with a few chuckles.

"I'm gonna go rest up. Don't wanna over prepare myself, y'know. Hehe. YOU, on the other hand," getting in Fluttershy's face,"Better keep practicing. I need a cheering section to match my spectacular performance."

Rainbow noticed The Forgemaster's lecherous grin an instant to late, "Which kind of performance?" he asked, brining attention to what, exactly, he had been cheering at her.

Rainbow Dash blushed, recalling the times they had slept together as ponies almost against her will (A/N – that can be read wrong… but, don't. Forgey's orders.), "Sh-Shutup!" she yelled, horribly embarrassed, and then flew out the window quickly.

Fluttershy stared after her friend's escape, before looking back at those still assembled, "She's practiced that move a hundred times, and she's never even come close to doing it. I don't know if I can cheer loud enough to help her."

Fluttershy flew out the window, quickly followed by The Forgemaster who didn't want to get stuck with cleaning up the books.

"Well, guess we better get this cleaned up... Again." said Twilight.

wWwWwWw

Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and 'Crimson' were all traveling to Cloudsdale to be at the Best Young Flyer's Competition.

When Rainbow asked why he was going as a pony, The Forgemaster dutifully explained, "The only place ponies feel comfortable with me as a human seems to be Ponyville. And in this form I get to mess with the other ponies even more! Don't forget to call me Crimson."

Rainbow nodded, she understood the logic behind it all, even if it was kind of… creepy?

"Won't you draw more attention as an alicorn?"

Crimson noticed the look on her face, "I won't care. But, think of it this way, Rainbow, now we can be coltfriend and marefriend in public!"

Rainbow smiled when she heard him say that, but Fluttershy almost choked when she heard that, Crimson noticed, "Oh, yeah. We didn't tell anypony did we Dash?"

Rainbow giggled at Fluttershy as she tried to process what they had said, "No, I forgot, and I know you would never tell anypony unless they just came out and asked!"

Crimson nodded, but Fluttershy was still sputtering in confusion between them as they flew.

Rainbow decided to help her out, or at least give some advice, "You've got to learn to be assertive, Fluttershy. Don't be afraid to speak up."

Fluttershy gulped, "I-I'm sorry, I just never expected-"

Crimson laughed out loud (A/N – screw LOL!), "Fluttershy, I didn't even expect it, I don't think Rainbow did either." Rainbow Dash nodded, then The Forgemaster thought of something, "Damnit, if we're in a relationship then I'll need a pet name for you. How does Dashie sound?"

Rainbow Dash smiled and then said, "Finally! Of course it's fine, you silly filly!"

Just then Cloudsdale came into view from behind a rather large cloud that was obscuring it. While the city was truly impressive, The Forgemaster' stolen memories from Celestia kind of ruined the moment for him: it was as though he had been there a thousand times before. Rainbow Dash had been looking at him, hoping for a reaction to her beautiful hometown from the stoic human-turned-pony, but her hopes were crushed when he didn't seem to react in the slightest. Then again, her opinion of him also was raised slightly: I mean, if you don't get some sort of rise out of a giant floating city made out of clouds, then what would?

The 3 flew through the city before coming to a graceful stop in front of 3 ponies with white lab coats and hard hats on. From left to right, they were dark brown, light brown, and grey.

(A/N – I looked up on the wikia site what the 3 bullies were named, turns out they're Billy, Hoops, and Score. However, they will be referred to by color until their names come up, but I don't think they do. Dark brown = Billy, Light Brown = Hoops, Grey = Score)

"Well well well. What do we have here?" asked dark brown.

"It's our old friend, Rainbow Crash!" answered light brown.

"Get kicked outta any flight schools lately?" asked dark brown.

The 3 colts laughed.

"I didn't get kicked out." Retorted Rainbow Dash, rather unsuccessfully.

"Face it, Rainbow Crash. Flight school had too many rules and not enough naptimes for you." said dark brown, as Rainbow Dash just looked bored.

"Huh, ask her about the sonic rainboom." Said light brown.

"That's nothing but an old mare's tale. You don't have the skills to try something like that." said dark brown.

Fluttershy interceded, "Now wait just a minute!" So far so good, however, the effect was completely ruined by her next sentence, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to be more assertive. Anyhow... She is going to do a sonic rainboom!"

"No she's not, 'cause there's no such thing!" yelled dark brown.

"Then show up at the Cloudseum and see for yourself!.. If you're free." said Fluttershy

The colts laughed at Fluttershy, making The Crimson growl with anger.

The colts noticed him, "And just who is this, Rainbow Crash?" asked light brown.

He glared at the colts, "I am Crimson Hammer, you insolent dogs, and if you continue to insult my marefriend I will have to grind your bones into dust."

"W-what!"

"I would appreciate it if you left immediately." said Crimson, drawing himself up to his full, and much larger than the colts', height.

The colts eyed him closely beneath their shared woman-like bangs, and then their eyes widened seemingly as one; they had apparently noticed his horn and his wings, as well as his size. Calculating with whatever tiny, jock minds they had they quickly deduced that he was much, much too far out of their league. They quickly took to flight.

"See you at the Cloudseum, Rainbow Crash!" this parting jab seemed irresistible, if incredibly foolish, considering the company, to the light brown colt.

Crimson chucked a rock that he had on his person (A/N – 'on his pony' just didn't feel right.), for whatever reason, and chucked it at the colt, nailing the swine in the back of the head, and making him yelp in pain.

Fluttershy was ecstatic, "Did you see that? I was so assertive!"

Rainbow Dash had let those bullies' words get to her, however, "Those guys are right. I'll never be able to do it."

"But Rainbow Dash: just because you've failed the sonic rainboom a hundred thousand times in practice doesn't mean you won't be able to do it in front of an entire stadium, full of impatient, super-critical sports fan ponies."

Rainbow Dash had gotten increasingly agitated when Fluttershy was speaking, prompting The Forgemaster to say, "God, damn Fluttershy. You are awful at this; leave the pep-talks to me from now on, please." He then cleared his throat and placed his hoof over Rainbow's shoulders, "Rainbow Dash, you are the greatest flyer ever. If anypony can do this, it will be you. Don't worry, you'll be fine: I believe in you." He then looked over to Fluttershy, "See how it's done? Short, sweet, and from the heart."

He was right, as Rainbow seemed to regain much of her confidence from the simple words.

Fluttershy began to look off into space behind the two of them, "... Rare..."

"Rare? The sonic rainboom is WAY more than rare!" replied Rainbow.

Fluttershy continued, much more coherently, "Rarity?" and pointed above their heads.

Rainbow and he looked to where she was pointing and saw an amazing sight: Rarity with butterfly wings.

Rainbow managed to speak with as much incredulity as physically possible for a voice to contain, "Rarity! Are you... flying?"

Rarity flew closer to them, "I most certainly am! Aren't my wings smashing? Twilight made them for me. I just adore them!" Rarity noticed Fluttershy's and Rainbow's jaws wide open, and seemed to ignore him, "Why so shocked? We couldn't leave our favorite flyer without a big cheering section!"

"We?.." asked Rainbow, immediately after she said that, a garish pink balloon pushed through the clouds which just happened to contain Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie, though why Pinkie wasn't already flying was a mystery to The Forgemaster, she was fully capable of that, " I... I can't believe it!"

"It's incredible!" added Fluttershy.

"I don't care." said Crimson, putting his 2 cents in, which the others appeared to ignore in their reverie.

"This is so cool! You guys made it!" yelled Rainbow.

Pinkie called out, "Sure did!" and jumped out of the balloon.

Rainbow yelled out, "WAIT!" but stopped when Pinkie didn't fall through the clouds.

He spoke up, "Pinkie is able to do whatever she wants to the laws of physic. Why does this come as a surprise?"

Pinkie smiled happily at him for noticing, but, once again, the others ignored him in their moment.

"How'd you do that? Only Pegasus ponies can walk on clouds." asked Rainbow.

Pinkie rolled past them, saying, "Haha. Pretty cool, huh?"

Twilight explained for her, "I found a spell that makes temporary wings, but it was too difficult to do more than once. So I found an easier spell that lets the rest of us walk on clouds."

The Forgemaster immediately found something to yell at Twilight over, much to his enjoyment, "So you just decide to come all the way up here and jump out of the balloon before you even test it! You all could've died, Twilight Sparkle, all because you failed to take the always necessary experimentation stage! You could've at least stuck a hoof out of the balloon first, but you just jumped out! What if the spell hadn't worked!" He boomed at her.

Twilight was suitably cowed by his display of anger, "I-I don't know…"

"I'll tell you what would've happened, "He held up a hoof and slowly lowered it to the cloud he was standing on, making a whistling sound as he did so, once his hoof made contact with the hoof, he yelled out, "Splat! Dead, all of you: dead."

Twilight was shaking in her hooves while the other ponies just stared at her in shock: surely Twilight wouldn't have forgotten such an important step, would she?

He growled at her before saying, "At least you let Pinkie go first, I guess. 1 dead out of 3 isn't as bad as 3 out of 3." The mares looked at him in shock, but he continued with, "Don't forget to call me Crimson, you lot."

He then stood there and rumbled angrily to himself while Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy started to take them on a tour of the city. Rainbow and Twilight were worried about him, for 2 different reasons. Twilight was worried that he might yell at her some more, even if he was justified, just this once. Rainbow was worried that he would continue to grumble to himself and not have a fun time: true loyalty, to a fault.

The Forgemaster, or 'Crimson' as he insisted they call him as long as he was a pony, didn't stop grumbling to himself as they took the tour. That didn't stop him from offering witty one-liners as they went though.

For instance, when Rainbow said, 'Here it is: the greatest city in the sky!' he had said, "It's the only city in the sky, Dashie."

And when Twilight had said, 'Be careful with those wings Rarity. They're made from gossamer and morning dew, and they're incredibly delicate.' he had said, "Damnit it Twilight, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Those wings'll break faster than Icarus and his wings. And his were made out of wax and feathers, not very durable, but a hell of a lot better than gossamer and dew." He shook his head and then said, "Poor bastard."

When the group was being led through the weather factory, they went through the rainbow room. As soon as he entered that room, he had perked up.

"And here's where they make the rainbows!" declared Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie dipped her hoof in the large pool of pure rainbows and licked her hoof; she immediately turned all sorts of colors and whimpered out, "Spicyyyyyyy!"

Rainbow Dash replied with, "Yeah, rainbows aren't really known for their flavor."

He walked up to the pool of rainbows and dipped his hoof in to do the same, only when he licked his hoof he didn't turn any kind of colors, he just smiled and said to Rainbow, "I don't know, I particularly like the… taste of rainbow." He said this with a wink to Rainbow and as much sexual emphasis on the word 'taste' as he could.

Rainbow Dash immediately blushed, but the others were too busy laughing at Pinkie's antics to notice.

Rarity chose that moment to fly in with the same trio of buffoonish colts from before trailing her, the colts took notice of Rainbow Dash.

"Oh hey look, it's Rainbow Crash again!" called out dark brown.

The Forgemaster took one step towards the 3 colts, and they stopped immediately. They quickly took to flight and flew away, but not before leaving a parting gift in the form of one last insult.

"You should forget the sonic rainboom and just get yourself some wings like these!" the trio laughed.

The Forgemaster once again took a rock out, that he had somehow either managed to retrieve or otherwise replenish, and threw it once more, hitting the same colt, in the same place, only this time, much, much harder. Even through the hard hat, the colt was knocked out and went spiraling to the ground, missing the clouds and continuing his dive to the surface. His buddies managed to rescue him… this time.

However, the parting blow had met its intended target, as Rainbow Dash slumped.

Fluttershy took notice, "Uhh... C'mon girls. Why don't we go see how clouds are made?" the group began to walk away, and Fluttershy leaned in to speak with Rainbow,"Don't listen to them. You're gonna win that competition for sure!"

Rainbow, however, was not to be consoled, "Are you kidding? I can't DO the sonic rainboom, and just look at these boring, plain old feathered wings. I'm doomed!"

The Forgemaster spoke up, "Rainbow, Rarity's wings are fake, given by a spell, she wasn't born with them, and they'll wear off in a few days. Yours are real, and you are much, much faster than Rarity is. And, do not be put down by the ravings of sociopaths and fools."

Rainbow's mood seemed to become happier after he said that.

The group moved towards the part of the factory where clouds were being produced. The Forgemaster tried to stay as close to Rainbow as he could, giving her some support. However, even his assistance seemed to fail to help Rainbow in the face of Rarity's showing off. Rainbow slumped to the floor at her showing off.

Twilight leaned down, "Rainbow Dash. Are you ok? You don't look so good."

Rainbow replied with, "Of course! Why wouldn't I be ok? Everyone's so in love with Rarity's wings that they won't even notice when I totally blow it in the Best Young Flyer's Competition."

When the miscellaneous worker-ponies heard the phrase 'Best Young Flyer's Competition', they immediately suggested to Rarity that she enter the competition. Rarity was too full of herself to notice what she was doing to Rainbow, so she agreed to enter.

Rainbow Dash freaked out, "What am I gonna DO? I'll never win the competition now..."

wWwWwWw

Even though he could've entered the competition if he so wished in his pony form, The Forgemaster felt it was best to not enter, considering both Rainbow's nerves, and his own lack of any real showy flying ability. It was kind of like the difference between free-running and parkour. One gets from point A to point B as quickly and efficiently as possible, the other does the same only with tricks interspersed throughout. The Forgemaster didn't feel the need to impress anyone, and so never learned any tricks.

Once he learned that Princess Celestia was in-stadium, he quickly found his way through the corridors to where Celestia's balcony would be. The Guard ponies that were on duty at the doorway saw his approach, and recognized him as their new Lord-General, and so he was let past. Half-way down the corridor to where Celestia was, he shifted form into his foal version of Crimson, which he lovingly dubbed 'Little Red', though he wouldn't tell anyone that. He activated his ninja skills, and quietly walked to Princess Celestia's side, who didn't notice him. The guard ponies on duty, however, did but Little Red gestured to them to not tell Celestia.

After a few minutes of being at Celestia's side without her noticing, and several ponies flying through their routines, The Forgemaster, as he was wont to do whenever forced to sit still for long periods without anything to do, became bored: the simplest thing to do: mess with Celestia.

He walked underneath Celestia so that he was immediately underneath her chin, and sat down. HE got onto his back, and faced upwards. Celestia still hadn't noticed yet, so he pushed out with his legs and wings and pushed himself forward a few inches, and into Celestia's complete view.

As though his appearance weren't enough, he also screamed out, "Hiya Auntie Tia!" about as loudly as possible.

Later stories told of this moment have her jumping several feet in the air uttering a curse word so foul as to be later banned from the retelling of the story by Celestia's own orders.

The Forgemaster, meanwhile, was giggling as only a child could do: simultaneously manically and endearingly.

Celestia was, understandably, upset though she tried to hide it by being stern and calm, "Honestly… Crimson… this is no time for foolish pranks."

He grinned up at her while still on his back, "You're just mad because I got you!"

She glared at him, though she wasn't too experienced with glaring so it just came out as a stare, "Yes, I am mad that you got me. Count yourself lucky I didn't try to blast you."

He sniffled and then said, "Why, Auntie Tia? Why would you try to blast me?"

She groaned and said, "Because you are incredibly annoying."

He giggled to himself and stood, they watched the next several flyers go through their routines in silence.

This, of course, could never last, "So where's Auntie Lulu, Auntie Tia?"

That actually got a snort of amusement from the ancient deity, "Really; Auntie Lulu and Auntie Tia?"

He grinned up at her and said, "Yep!" as happy as can be.

She sighed away her frustration and said, "Luna is back at Canterlot, probably sleeping. The day time is not exactly her time, so she sleeps through it."

"Why is that?"

"She is the princess of the night, my young foal, "She said, going into either motherhood mode or lecturing mode, "She likes to be awake during the night so that she can raise the moon when I awake, though this does cause a few problems for us…"

He thought for a moment, "I've got it! Tell Auntie Lulu that she should just stay awake during the day, and wake up and go to bed at the same time as you so she can raise and lower the moon at the same time that you lower and raise the sun. That way, she'll be up and about and able to interact with more ponies, instead of meeting with dreary nobles during night court and meeting random ponies during night patrol."

Celestia was taken aback by this, "I sometimes forget how smart you are, Forge, I mean Crimson. I'll tell Luna of this as soon as she awakes." Celestia paused, "Why haven't we thought of this before?" she wondered aloud.

"It's been a thousand years." He quipped.

Just as he said that, Rainbow Dash and Rarity both came out into the ring at the same time.

"Oh, gods, what's Rarity wearing?" he wondered aloud, "She looks just awful."

Celestia nodded, herself being of the same opinion.

Rarity started to do some sort of… aero-aerobics dance routine. Like the kind old people do in water only in the air. It didn't look very pretty, to be honest.

Rainbow Dash had gone flying through the columns of clouds, but struck one of the last few, and crashed into the Cloudseum walls. She immediately got back into her routine, bouncing back from her mistake, and moved on to 'Phase 2', where she spun some clouds like a top.

After going great for a few clouds, something went wrong on the last one and it was flung towards where the Princess and he were watching. One quick spell later, and the cloud was gone thanks to some quick action by Crimson, though it probably wasn't necessary anyway.

Rarity and Rainbow then began to fly very high up, gaining altitude like it was going out of style. Rarity began some sort of light show to please the crowds, but, just like Icarus, her wings were vaporized because she was too close to the sun. Rarity immediately began to fall, falling straight through the center of the Cloudseum.

Meanwhile, The Forgemaster was having a panic attack; this had happened to him once before.

'Poor Icarus, my son, I wasn't fast enough. I hope I'm fast enough this time!' he thought.

He re-grew into adult-Crimson and dived after Rarity, the Wonderbolts doing the same. Since they had more training than him, they reached her first and were quickly knocked out by her flailing hooves.

However, no matter how hard he tried; he just couldn't build up the speed to reach her or the Wonderbolts. Utter horror clutched at his heart: it was happening again!

Thankfully, help arrived in the form of a beautiful cyan blur that trailed a rainbow. The Forgemaster barely managed to pull up in time to save himself, and the rainbow streak did the same. HE and the fast mover arrived back at the Cloudseum at the same moment; the streak would've beaten him there had it not taken a victory lap around the Cloudseum.

He arrived to the cheers of an entire stadium, though it was probably for the rainbow streak, which he just now discovered was in fact Rainbow Dash. He walked over and stood next to Rainbow Dash who was jubilant. He on the other hand, was upset, truly upset, for the first time in a while.

"I did it. I did it!" she was calling out to anyone that would listen.

"You sure did. Oh thank you Rainbow Dash. You saved my life!" declared Rarity, in the hooves of a couple pegasi

"Oh yeah. I did that too. Ha, best day EVER!" Rainbow hoof-pumped

"Good job, Dashie." He offered her his congratulations.

"Thanks, Forgey, I mean Crimson." She paused for a moment and then pointed at his face, "Hey, what's that!"

He lifted a hoof to his eye and when he pulled it away, much to everyone nearby's surprise, was a single tear.

He glared at the offending bead of moisture before flicking it away, "It is as nothing." He told the nearby ponies.

But what he said after, under his breath was, "I'm so sorry, my son. I wasn't fast enough then, I wasn't fast enough now."

wWwWwWw

The 'Elements' were gathered around the balloon, which carried Rarity.

"I want to apologize to all of you for getting so carried away with my... beautiful wings. I guess I just lost my head."

"It's ok." Fluttershy told her.

"Oh, don't worry about it kiddo." said Applejack.

"We still love you." came from Pinkie.

Crimson was not so forgiving, for unknown reasons, he was actually quite bitter, "You acted like an ass and nearly got yourself and 3 Wonderbolts killed."

The others glared at him, but quietly agreed.

Rarity was still working to earn forgiveness, "And I'm especially sorry that I was so thoughtless as to jump into the contest at the last minute after you had worked so hard to win it. Can you ever ever forgive me?"

"Aw, it's ok. Everything turned out alright, right? I just wish I could have met the Wonderbolts when they were awake." Rainbow forgave her.

Just then, the Wonderbolts that Rainbow saved walked up and poked her on the shoulder. Rainbow freaked out!

"!"

The leader, Spitfire, told her, "So you're the little pony who saved our lives. We really wanted to meet you, and say thanks."

The Forgemaster still felt the need to vent, which led to his next sentence, "Shut it, yah grot! You got knocked out by a single flailing mare and beaten by a dragon in one swipe. You aren't worth this much devotion."

Thankfully, Rainbow was too absorbed in her reverie to notice; else his life surely would've been on the line. The Wonderbolts glared at him and then left. As Princess Celestia arrived with all her majesty, and… 2 guards.

"Hello Twilight Sparkle, and hello to your friends too."

Still bitter, The Forgemaster said, "Yes, because we're not important enough to be anything other than 'Twilight's friends'."

Rainbow Dash confronted him, "What's up with you!"

He growled low in his throat, a very feral noise; it made the hairs on the nearby ponies' necks stand on end, "I'll speak of it when I feel the need to do so."

"Princess Celestia, I am sorry I ruined the competition. Rainbow Dash here really is the best flyer in Equestria." Said Rarity

"I know she is my dear. That's why for her incredible act of bravery, and her spectacular sonic rainboom, I'm presenting the grand prize for best young flyer to this year's winner, Miss Rainbow Dash!"

The ponies immediately put Rainbow on their shoulders and gave her a ride as she squealed, "Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!"

He stayed by Celestia's side as she asked Twilight, "So Twilight Sparkle, did you learn anything about friendship from this experience?"

He felt the need to add, "Like how you should test spells, or maybe that dew and gossamer aren't proper construction materials?"

He received a triple glare from the 3 present mares, which he shrugged off.

"I did Princess, but I think Rarity learned even more than me." Replied Twilight, once she was done with her glare.

"I certainly did. I learned how important it is to keep your hooves on the ground, and be there for your friends."

"Excellent. Well done Rarity." Said Celestia

"I won't say good job, because you already should have known that." aid The Forgemaster.

He left the 3 mares, and went back to his home in Ponyville alone.

Chapter 47

(A/N - F the Wolverine, my Adamantium is a brilliant, gold color, not dark gray. See: any picture of the Emperor.)

After storming off in a well-justified huff, The Forgemaster returned to his home to work off his stress. The Forgemaster is one of a select few individuals who can take their negative/pissy emotions and turn them into something productive. For 2 solid days, The Forgemaster worked his forge, never sleeping and never being interrupted. Well, the locals attempted to interrupt, but they were usually just stone-walled or insulted and 'kindly' told to leave. Let it never be said that he was an amateur at forging: by the time he was finally interrupted for real, he had already forged 73 swords, 12 warhammers, 28 maces, 34 axes, 7 complete sets of pony armor (He had no reason to make armor for himself, just yet), and created 22 more ingots of Adamantium. And all were of a quality the likes of which ponies had never seen; the Royal Guards were especially grateful at the gift of such weapons and armor.

What could possibly interrupt such a man, hell-bent on working the grief out of his bones with blood, sweat, and a whole heap of hammering you ask? Well, what they say about a woman scorned can apparently be applied to ponies, as well.

Rainbow Dash fluttered down from the clouds after spending the previous day with the Wonderbolts. Rainbow had taken them up on their offer immediately, hanging out with them for the entirety of the previous day. Her good mood was sullied, however, when her friends told her of the 'miserable' state of The Forgemaster. Apparently, he had been constantly working his forge over the past 2 days. As soon as he had arrived back home from Cloudsdale, he had gone straight into his home and a riotous hammering was soon heard, reverberating throughout the entire town. Apparently, only the Apple family had gotten much sleep in those 2 days.

From 'conversations' he had had with the townsponies and her friends, the only possible conclusion was that he was really, really pissed at ether Twilight, for giving Rarity wings, or Rarity, for almost being made gravity's bitch. His words, though no pony understood why he had called her a female dog. Then they realized that it was an insult. But, they had no clue how, exactly, it was an insult.

Rainbow Dash flew down to The Forgemaster's house, and found him exactly where she was told he would be: at his forge. She alighted upon a small stack of a brilliantly golden pile of metal ingots. He spoke to her before she could do the same to him, not even looking up from where he was hammering away on some piece of metal.

"What do you want, Rainbow?"

She shivered at his voice; it was filled with so much ice, hatred, and loathing that she couldn't help herself. It felt as though the backyard had suddenly dipped 20 degrees in temperature.

She suddenly found herself nervous and tripping over her words, "I-I just w-wanted to see how my coltfriend w-was, that's all!"

She cursed herself mentally; she had sounded as though she had done something wrong and was begging forgiveness.

He stopped for just an instant, a casual observer might have missed it, but he hesitated just the same before immediately getting back into the swing of forging.

"I am fine, but if you see Twilight Sparkle; tell her that the next time she makes anything out of dew and gossamer I AM going to knock her the fuck out with a frying pan."

Rainbow suddenly found herself chuckling at The Forgemaster's words. She had to physically force herself to stop, while mentally berating herself. She was shocked at what she had just done: she had laughed at something incredibly vulgar and violent! But… maybe she was just starting to get his humor?

"Why did you lock yourself up in here?" she asked, mental debate concluded.

He snorted, about to take use the method he always had of gaining time, pointing out another's mistake, "I am hardly locked in here, Dashie, the door is unlocked, and the gate is open."

She face-hoofed at his obvious ploy, "You know what I mean, now answer the question!"

He waved her off, and went back to hammering, "Suffice to say that it is a very good reason, and one that I would rather keep to myself."

She flapped her wings and was in his face in an instant, "No! You tell me right here, right now!"

He glared at her, "Or what?"

She floundered, "I uh, well, I- oo! I'll get Twilight to come over and annoy you!" she smirked, feeling victory in her grasp.

He scowled, "Fine. I'll tell you. The way Rarity was about to die before you saved her was the EXACT same way my son died. Only I wasn't fast enough to save him from plummeting to his death like you were able to save Rarity. Damnation! I wasn't fast enough!"

He roared in anger, grief, and pain before hammering one last time onto the sword he was forging, shattering it into 2 pieces with a loud *CLANG*. He stood there, breathing heavily for a few moments, and then began to calm down.

"It brought up some troublesome memories." He finally said, calmly.

"Troublesome?" she asked, shocked, "Troublesome!" she asked again, angry now.

He nodded, "I will admit that it was difficult for me, and having Twilight Sparkle and Rarity conceive of a plan so similar was… troublesome."

"You've been moping about your house for 2 days." She indicated the house with her hoof, "2 DAYS! And all you can call that is 'troublesome'?"

He spoke to her in an angry tone, "Excuse me if I wish to be alone after being reminded of the death of my son!"

"You shouldn't have just called it 'troublesome'! Try a stronger word, you big idiot! He was your son, for Celestia's sake!"

"That word fits the best! All it did was cause some trouble for me, nothing more, nothing less! It made me act like a bloody child!" he sighed, and then looked around at the rather large stockpile of weaponry he had made, and then he chuckled, "At least some good came of it."

"Are you insane!" she asked, clearly outraged and angered by such callous disregard for his own son.

He put a hand to his chin, thinking in the Rainbow's outraged face, he eventually said, "I prefer the term 'Morally Inept.' Or maybe 'Morally Destitute', hmm, I'll have to think about that."

After a moment of awkward silence, he continued, "Don't think I don't miss my boy, or that I didn't love him. It's just that, enough time has passed to the point where I don't feel the need to grieve over him as much as I used to, though I will always miss him. Almost as smart as his old man, he was. I've learned to remember him fondly, and that he will always be with me in his own way, just not in any way I can comprehend."

Another moment of silence.

"I suppose that I just lost my cool there for a moment. To see something so similar triggered some emotions… best left buried."

Rainbow Dash held a hoof to her forehead and slowly shook her head, "I don't think I'll ever understand you."

"Good. Also, I don't think that you really understand just how much of a fixer-up I am." He then chuckled quietly, "I suppose that females are always attracted to damaged goods, no matter the species; to their eyes it's a challenge, and when, no, if, they win, then that makes it all the sweeter."

He then started to laugh, shortly joined by Rainbow Dash, much to both of their surprise.

The Forgemaster reached behind his head and scratched his neck idly with one hand, "Well, I suppose I ought to thank you for knocking me out of my funk, no matter how much damage it caused in our relationship."

She smirked at him, "Whoever said that I would let you get away?"

"Uh… I did, actually."

She rolled her eyes at him, "And when have I ever listened to you?"

He sighed, "Very, very rarely."

A moment of silence was observed, the 2 just staring at each other. Then, The Forgemaster went completely off-topic with an age-old saying that has lasted for millions of years.

"I'm hungry." Just then his stomach growled, violently agreeing with him.

For some unfathomable reason, Rainbow Dash found this to be ridiculously hilarious, and promptly fell to the ground, clutching her sides in her mirth.

Her laughter only doubled when The Forgemaster said, "I'm serious!"

After a few moments, she managed to speak through her convulsions to say, "You better take me someplace special, you dumb colt!"

"Is there something wrong with my kitchen?" he asked, feigning being hurt.

She rolled her eyes at him once more, "Well, duh! I'm your marefriend; you have to take me out on a date at least once a week! Them's the rules."

"Are there any other rules that I should be aware of?"

"Well, obviously! You gotta buy me food, and take me out to clubs or a show, having a marefriend is very tricky business, you know."

"But you forced this upon me!"

"S~o?"

He sighed, and took a long moment to collect himself: he knew of all these things, he had dated before, but it had been a while and he wasn't used to it.

"Fine, we'll get some dinner at one of those posh restaurants in Canterlot… and I think DJ Pon-3 is going to do a show there, too. Is that acceptable?"

"Celestia! How is it that you make asking me out on a date sound as dry as a business deal?"

"I'm told it's my way." He said with a ghost of a grin on his face.

"Ugh, fine! But you're paying for it!"

"Gods, how can you make it sound as though I have a choice in the matter?"

"I'm told it's my way!" she said, with a huge grin on her face.

He sighed, he seemed to be doing that a lot with Rainbow, "Alright, Dashie, let's go. At the very least; it'll be interesting seeing the reactions of those damnable high class ponies! Nobles always seem to forget that the word has 2 meanings."

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster and Rainbow Dash were having an excellent time on their date to Canterlot. The Forgemaster was in his pony form, and as an alicorn, all of the high-class ponies were staring after them as they walked down the streets. There weren't too many alicorns, in fact, the number of alicorns could probably be counted on one hand, and all of the alicorns were members of the royal family. So, all of the ponies assumed that he was some previously-unknown prince of the royal family, and it tickled him to no end! He also did not feel the need to correct the insipid nobles on who he was, though he was sure that he would get a similar amount of attention as the Lord-general of the Royal Guards.

In fact, they had a small crowd of ponies 'discreetly' following them. When they had gone to the restaurant, the waiters and managers were so terrified of offending a member of the royal family that they had given him everything he had wanted! Of course, that also meant everything that Rainbow Dash wanted, too. He had gotten the best table in the house, near the windows with a great view of the Palace and the surrounding fields of Canterlot. During the course of the meal, a waiter was constantly at attention not more than 2 feet away at a time, always ready to refill their glasses or to remove empty dishes. The look on the poor young colt's face when he heard all the things that he and Rainbow Dash had said to each other was positively priceless! The words the pair had exchanged were… risqué, to put it lightly, and the young waiter was struggling to not either laugh out loud or blush furiously. The waiter failed at one of those things.

The Forgemaster was astounded when he saw the variety of alcohols that the restaurant carried, just as the restaurant staff was astounded when he ordered a glass of each one and drank them all, seemingly without getting drunk at all! Thank the gods for the legendary '3rd liver' that he was blessed with. Rainbow wasn't nearly as blessed as he was, so he had cut her off after the 3rd glass, though it was strong and so she was still tipsy.

After the colorful display at the restaurant, there was plenty of time left before Vinyl Scratch's performance was due to start in the local nightclub, so the pair went walking through the Canterlot gardens. After finding an amusingly mismatched statue of some horrible creature that he knew to be named 'Discord', Rainbow Dash started to giggle madly at the statue.

"Hahahaha! W-What is it?" she said, before laughing some more.

The Forgemaster replied, "Oh, it's a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Personally, I'd call it 'ugly'"

"Hahaha! That's a good name for it! It matches it perfectly!" she snorted, before falling into the grips of the giggles once more.

The Forgemaster pointed at the time, and the pair left the gardens to go see DJ Pon-3. They weren't in any danger of being late; it's just that The Forgemaster wasn't comfortable being near that statue, though he would never tell Rainbow that.

The couple arrived at the nightclub and quickly found their way inside. The pair found themselves a booth, and sat down in it. For the first few minutes, it was relatively calm; a few ponies were dancing to a rhythm that was being played in the background, but that was all. Suddenly a spot light was turned on and pointed towards the edge of the stage.

The announcer spoke over the crowds, "Quiet down everypony, and welcome to the stage, for your hearing pleasure, the famous disk jockey herself: DJ Pon-3!"

The pony in question came into view from behind the stage, right into the spot light. She was wearing her signature grin and purple glasses and quickly walked over to the DJ booth that occupied center stage.

Without preamble, asides from a boisterous greeting, the DJ began the music.

1 ½ hours later

After basically being dragged into dancing by Rainbow Dash, The Forgemaster was upset with his choice of entertainment for the evening. It's not like he doesn't enjoy dance, he just never had the opportunity to dance as a pony before. Thankfully, the majority of the 'dancing' appeared to be jumping up and down and/or grinding with your partner, which The Forgemaster was fully capable of. It didn't hurt that his grinding partner just happened to be one of the hottest mares in Equestria, as the mare in question and 9 out of 10 colts that have ever approached him have told him. He couldn't tell, however, he was as a human is. The only way he could tell the various ponies apart, aside from gender, race, and other defining characteristics such as Applejack's hat, was their coloring.

Aside from the wings and the Stetson, if you put Applejack and Rainbow in the same room, with the same coloring; The Forgemaster would find it difficult to tell them apart. Until they spoke, then he could tell them apart.

Well, at the end of that little 'dancing' escapade. The Forgemaster felt that it was time to go home. It was after midnight, and daresay, his bedtime, too. Rainbow Dash readily agreed, seeing as how DJ Pon-3 was just about to finish her set.

Once back at his place, the slightly drunk Rainbow Dash refused to go back to her own home, saying that she would rather stay the night with him.

'Ugh, the things I'll do for mares…'

(A/N – Wooo, Forgey!)

Chapter 48

The Forgemaster awoke the next morning to a truly heart-felt sight. He had forgotten to end his spell as he went to sleep, so he was still a pony. Rainbow Dash had curled next to him with a foreleg wrapped around him, and was snoring gently into his chest. He chuckled to himself as he looked down at her, making sure not wake her up. She looked about as cute as Fluttershy would look naturally.

Unfortunately, she was latched onto him tight, if he were to move she would be woken immediately, without a doubt. So he settled himself; perfectly content to lie there with her on him. Then he remembered that it was Rainbow Dash; she usually woke up after or immediately before noon, and that was on a daily basis! He had no idea how long it would take her to wake up if she stayed up till after midnight.

He sighed quietly, 'Oh well, might as well think of something cool to say…'

wWwWwWw

2 hours later

After quite the long wait, and quite a feat of willpower by The Forgemaster, Rainbow decided to return to the land of the living. She awoke gently, took a moment to herself, and then noticed what she was lying on. She shifted her gaze from the red coat her hoof was on to the smiling face of her coltfriend looking down at her.

"Hey…" she rasped out in a quiet voice as an early morning greeting.

In a similarly quiet voice, he said, "I must've forgotten to turn off my swag; I woke up covered in mares."

He smirked at her as her still sleepy mind processed what he said.

She smiled angrily at him and then punched him in the side, "You jerk!" she said, marginally louder than before.

He just smiled and then kissed her on the cheek, "C'mon, I'll make the pancakes."

He slid out of the bed and she followed after him shortly. He went down the stairs to make the promised pancakes, reverting to his human form half-way down, as she went into his pro-offered bathroom to take a shower.

He quickly whipped up the ingredients to the pancakes and was about to put them on the stove when Rainbow finished with her shower. She entered his kitchen nook with a towel wrapped around herself.

"Take care of these so I can take a shower too." He said, and then walked past Rainbow to the stairs.

When he was done with his shower and had gotten dressed, he walked down the stairs to find that Rainbow did not, in fact, burn either his house down or the pancakes. Much to his surprise. He quickly set up the table with necessary implements and sat down with Rainbow Dash to eat. Such is his devotion to his friends, for he considered Rainbow one now if that wasn't obvious, that The Forgemaster didn't even have manticore bacon with his breakfast. While the pair were enjoying their meal, a knock was heard on the door. He answered the door to a very stoic Royal Guard, a lieutenant judging by the markings on his armor.

The stoic face of the guard was threatened in the face of the beast that lived inside the massive house, "I was told that this was the residence of the Lord-general?"

The Forgemaster leaned against the door frame and said, "Yes."

"I have an important message for him." The guard continued.

"I'm sure you do." came the reply, much to the guard's anger.

"May I ask where he is?"

"Yes." Oh, the guard was getting flustered now

The guard waited a beat, "Where is he?"

"He's here."

"May I speak with him?"

"Yes."

"Forgey, quit playin' with the guard and let him in before he snaps!" Rainbow said from the dining room.

The Forgemaster sighed and waved the guard past him and into the living room, where a certain blue pegasus was currently devouring his pancakes, along with hers. He went over to Rainbow and saved his pancakes from her. He then whispered the gist of what went on in Canterlot to her, and that he was the Lord-general of the Royal Guards but that Celestia didn't want the guards to think they were being led by a non-pony, so he had to be Crimson to lead them. He also told her that the only guard that knew was the Guard-Captain. Rainbow understood what he was saying, strangely enough, and quickly dropped into the same evasive nature that he was in.

After the whispering mess that was an explanation, The Forgemaster turned back to the guard and said, "The good Lord-general actually lives in the cloud-house that is tethered to mine, though he is not often home. If you ever need to contact him, just come and find me. I'll get him here in a moment."

The Forgemaster walked up the stairs and yelled out of the window, mostly for the benefit of the guard downstairs, "Hey! Crimson! Get your midget ass down here, a Guard is here!"

He then stripped naked before he turned into the colt version of Crimson and dropped out the window, he then quickly ran through the front door and into the living room. When Rainbow saw him, she had to forcibly stop herself from laughing, and she was not entirely successful. When the guard saw him, he saluted and stood at attention.

In the most cordial, yet still incredibly child-like voice he could manage, he said, "What do you need lieutenant?"

At the voice he used, Rainbow Dash couldn't help herself and laughed loudly. The guard managed to ignore the madly laughing pegasus behind him, and answered the Lord-general's question.

"My lord, Princess Celestia asked that you come to Canterlot and speak with the Royal Guards, and see if everything is to your satisfaction."

The colt stared him down for a moment before breaking out into a huge smile stretching all the way across his face, "GREAT!" he yelled as loudly as possible.

He then jumped towards the guard and landed on his back. After getting situated on the startled guard's back, he said, "Let's get going!"

The guard managed to somehow shrug off his leader's antics and went out the front door, leaving a nearly dying pegasus behind them. They went to a nearby chariot and climbed into it, the pegasi there just as confused as the lieutenant was as to why their leader demanded to be carried.

wWwWwWw

They arrived in Canterlot in under an hour. He was quickly led to where the Princess was in conference with the 3 other Guard lieutenants and the captain. The lieutenant and he entered the conference room undetected, and were able to listen in on the argument that was taking place. The guards and the princess were arguing over a large, wooden table in the middle of the room. He quickly shushed the lieutenant he was sitting on to make sure that he didn't try to reveal their presence. The Forgemaster noticed that the Guard-Captain was staying out of the argument.

"Princess, how can you expect us to function under such an immature leader?" one said

Before the princess could speak, another lieutenant did, "Princess; he's quite literally a colt in a stallion's body!"

Celestia actually laughed out loud when the guard said that, "Oh, Lt. Barricade, it is much, much more complex than that."

"What do you mean by that, Princess?"

"He's a shape shifting magical warrior, to be honest."

The other ponies in the room looked between themselves for a long moment, contemplating that. The lieutenant underneath The Forgemaster started to shift uncomfortably when the princess said that. The Forgemaster hovered off of her, and snuck up on the group.

Finally, one of the guards spoke up, "Princess… is he even a pony?"

"No, he most assuredly is not." Declared a loud, deep voice grumbled from seemingly everywhere at once.

The guards looked about the room frantically, trying to locate the sound of the voice and failing miserably. The 4th lieutenant walked towards them and stood in the center of the group, though none seemed to grasp the implications of him being there. Celestia just looked bored at his antics.

He used his magic and created quite a light show, flashing and stunning the ponies at the conference. Then, every shadow seemed to twitch and giggle, before leaving the place where they would naturally be and started to drift towards the center of the table. The ponies looked on in horror as seemingly every shadow in the room coalesced into a solid, dark being in the middle of the table.

The shadows tightened and the being became smaller, smaller, and ever so much smaller before it became about the size of a large pony like the Princesses. The shadowy figure began to grow features, legs, a horn, wings, armor, the being slowly gained features before those present could guess what it was.

It slowly lightened into a red color before being revealed what, exactly, it was: Crimson Hammer.

He stood on the table, facing the guards with a glare on his face, as silence permeated the room.

Celestia broke the silence by saying, "That was quite the entrance."

He looked behind himself towards where she was and said, "They doubted me!"

She rolled her eyes and said, "They were put off by your immature attitude."

"Did you tell them about my wild personality shifts?"

"No."

He turned back to the shocked guards and said, "Well then, I have wild personality shifts." and then smiled cheekily at them.

He quickly got down to business, "Alright, since I don't know your names; you are going to be Lt. A, and you are Lt. B, you are Lt. Gives-rides-a-lot, and you are Lt. Barricade. The Good captain over there is the Captain…. Any questions?"

The guards were, understandably, put off by what he said to them. Barricade was happy that at least he got his own name, though the rest were questioning the 'Gives-rides-a-lot' name that he had come up with: the other names had at least some semblance of logic to them.

The Forgemaster, on the other hand, snickered at what he had done; the guards were incredibly confused and some were even angry. Especially that guard that picked him up from his house: he was mad.

The Forgemaster, however, barked out a series of orders before they could question him, "Alright: here are some new orders! Number 1; in the event of an Equestrian military officer or soldier questioning you about me, tell them nothing but my name, rank, and that I am a colt. The reasoning is that I enjoy watching their faces when they are outshone by a colt. Number 2; if any representative of the Equestrian military comes anywhere near me, warn me before-hoof so that I may switch back into my colt form. The reasoning being the same as the previous order. Number 3; don't question my orders. Number 4; protect the princesses with your lives, literally, I might add. Number 5; extensive training is going to occur, and nopony is exempt from it, including officers. Any questions?"

The guards were taken aback by his sudden seriousness, and failed to respond within the time limit.

"Alrighty then. Celestia, is there another reason I am here?"

"Yes." She motioned the guard lieutenants out of the room and walked over towards a hidden alcove in the wall with The Forgemaster and the guard captain. As they walked, The Forgemaster struck up a conversation.

"Hey Captain: never under any circumstance are you to reveal that I am also The Forgemaster. By the way, it's nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, sir. My name is Shining Armor."

The Forgemaster groaned, "I'll never get used to pony names, I swear. It always appears to be a combination of adjectives and nouns, never any actual names."

Shining Armor cocked a brow, "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"My people name their children with names that mean things without using the actual damn words that the name means. For instance; the name Keenan can mean sharp, ancient, and little. The name Robert can mean fame, bright, and shining amongst other things. William means protector, Victoria means winner, Michael means like god, Adolf means noble wolf, and Quinn means wise. Every single name in existence has a meaning, but for some damn reason you ponies refuse to be original. It's like you open up a dictionary and point at 2 random words that magically string together. Look at your name, for gods' sake: your name is Shining Armor, what would've happened if you didn't become a guard? That's a mighty strange name for a home decorator, I'll tell you that right now."

"That's actually… quite interesting, sir."

"I know, who do you think invented half of those meanings?"

Shining Armor started, "Was it you?"

"Hell no, humans are creative."

"Ah, so that's what you are?"

"Yep."

Celestia turned and walked down a corridor before coming to a stop in front of an empty wall.

"We're here." She announced

"I assume there's a door in that wall." said The Forgemaster

"Yes, you are correct, Forgemaster. This is the only entranceway into the Royal Dungeons."

Shining Armor was confused, "But I thought that the dungeons were located on the other side of the castle?"

"Yes, but those are the dungeons, these are the Royal Dungeons." Celestia said, putting emphasis on the word 'Royal'

"Hmm, so this is where those griffons were taken?"

Celestia reached out with a hoof and touched a series of blocks on the wall, when finished, the wall slid into the ground.

Celestia then walked into the revealed chamber, saying, "Yes, this is where the worst scum in all Equestria have been sent, as well as traitors, prisoners of war, and these griffons."

The Forgemaster eyed the dark, damp walls of the prison and said, "Nice place. Ever think of opening a resort down here?"

Chapter 49

The Forgemaster, Shining Armor, and Princess Celestia were walking down a very, very, very, very long series of stairs. It was as though the Royal Dungeons were smack dab in the center of the giant mountain that Canterlot rested on. In the center, and about 3 miles below the surface. The Forgemaster wasn't making the trip better for the other 2 as he told them stories of the times he had been captured, by his own choice, he adamantly declared, and of the times that he had captured other people. He then began an exceedingly detailed account of how the 'Art of Information Retrieval' had evolved through the years that he had been alive. Basically, he was lecturing them on the best ways to either: A; torture them, B, screw with their minds, or C, some combination of the 2. He didn't make it any better with the excruciating detail he was using. In fact, he had expressed a desire numerous times to 'open them up' to 'see how they worked', to which Celestia repeatedly denied him.

Finally, they reached the prison proper, after thoroughly freaking out both the good Captain and the princess. Celestia walked them towards a series of 3 doors. The one on the left had a sign over it that said; 'The Moon'. The one on the right said; 'Prison', and the one in the middle said; 'Interviewing Room'. The 3 were walking towards the middle room.

"Celestia, why does that room have a sign that says it's the moon?" asked The Forgemaster

She shifted her gaze over to the room for a moment before continuing to walk to the middle door, "That is where those that are banished to the moon go."

"So… they're not really sent to the moon?"

"Well, Luna and I have that power; but it's so much easier to teleport them down here than away up there, and it's just as effective."

"Was the Nightmare sent in there?" he asked, pointing at the room while doing so

"No, she really was sent to the moon." Celestia said, sadly

"Hmm, I'll ask her about it someday."

The 3 ponies walked into the 'Interviewing Room'. When they walked in, they were greeted with an interesting sight: the 3 griffons were each behind a panel of one-way mirrors, allowing the 3 to see in, but not allowing the griffons to see out. The 3 griffons were each in their own separate room, each mindlessly pacing the small cells they were in. The Forgemaster stood there, formulating a plot for the 3 griffons. Suddenly, an idea came to him.

He walked up to the middle cell and put his hands on the glass before saying, "Alright, we'll put them in one room and tie them all to chairs. Then, I'll need a scalpel, and 1 syringe of griffon adrenaline."

Shining Armor asked, "Why?"

"I believe the other 2 will be willing to talk when they see one of their friends receive open-heart surgery while awake."

He looked absolutely horrified, "What?"

Celestia was similarly affected.

The Forgemaster shrugged, "It's possible one of them has a heart condition."

"Are you sure?"

The Forgemaster crossed his arms over his chest and then said, "No, but I'm willing to find out."

Celestia facehoofed, the second such occurrence in the history of Equestria, and Shining Armor looked sick; he was turning all shades of wrong.

Keeping her hoof to her face, Celestia hissed out, "You are not allowed to perform any medical procedures in Equestria without a medical license. Also; no."

He scowled for a moment, appearing angry, "Fine. But, I have an idea that will blow their minds. First; I'll need a chunk of meat. Any kind will do. And then-"

wWwWwWw

The 3 griffons immediately ceased their bickering once the door was opened into their cell and looked to see Shining Armor walk in. Shining Armor walked up to the trio of griffons, all currently tied down to chairs, he walked up to the table and dropped some files onto it. He then took a seat. He proceeded to open up the file on top and leaf through the documents inside. He appeared to be reading whatever it was that was written on the documents, though if you were behind him you would notice that very little was written on them, Shining Armor made some noises that sounded disapproving before finally looking up at the 3 griffons seated across from him on the table.

"You boys are in a lot of trouble, you know." He said

He then went back to 'reading', though he was in fact merely doing exactly as the instructions written on the documents he was reading told him to do. He delayed speaking again to let the griffons stew.

Finally, he looked up again, "Officially, all we have you on is breaking and entering." The tense griffons all relaxed quite a bit, "Unofficially, we have attempted murder of a high Equestrian official; felony, espionage; felony, blackmail; felony, racketeering; felony, attempted rape; felony, and, finally, destruction of royal property; felony."

The griffons were all suitably upset, now. The youngest one was actually hyperventilating, while the other 2 were sweating, heavily.

Shining Armor smiled dangerously at them, having been coached on it prior by The Forgemaster, "But, that's all unofficial. Then again, we are in the heart of a mountain: nopony will hear you screaming."

Shining Armor tried his best at an evil laugh, though he fell far short; it was enough to scare the griffons into almost begging for mercy.

"But, you're probably wondering how we knew you were spies, am I right? Well, Equestria has the best intelligence agency in the whole world. Hold on, I want to introduce you to somepony. Hey, Beatrice, come in here!"

It was proceeding exactly as some cheesy and cliché movie would've, though the griffons were just eating this up. Through the door came a large, griffon, female: 'Beatrice'.

'She' came up to the table, smiling maniacally the whole way. 'She' stopped behind Shining Armor and just stared straight at them. Her eyes contained the gleeful spark that only those who were insane, recognized that they were, and fully enjoyed it could ever hope to have. Shortly: 'Crazy Eyes'.

'She' said, "Haven't you scared them enough?" before cackling out crazily, as if daring them to refute her insane status.

He smiled at her, "I just wanted to show them who you were, and how we knew."

'She' looked down at the trio for a long moment, and then her gaze snapped off as if she remembered something. 'She' then laughed for a long moment, before having her body slowly shift, morph, and basically melt into a smaller being. In the griffon's place was a small, sickly green unicorn mare with a hungry gleam in her eyes and a bloody knife for a cutie-mark.

The small unicorn said gleefully, "I've been amongst the griffon court for almost 3 months now. Hahaha! They haven't noticed a thing! I know someponies that are in the griffon intelligence service too, and they say that they get to go out on missions and stuff, too!"

She then bent over on the ground, holding her sides in an effort to contain the agony that laughing so hard brought to her. Suddenly, she shifted and became deadly serious.

"I bet you're thinking, 'All we have to do is give everypony in the court a piece of meat and that'll flush out the spies'. Am I right? Well, you're wrong anyway! Look, I brought a snack!"

The griffons watched in horror as the tiny mare brought out bloody morsel of meat and waved it at them, before putting it in her mouth and chewing audibly before moaning in ecstasy.

She then smirked at their shocked faces, even Shining Armor didn't quite keep his face under control, even though he had been expecting it and it was all according to plan, "It takes a while to get used to it, I'll admit. But it tastes ever-so-delicious once you do!"

Shining Armor read the next line off of his documents, still somewhat shocked at watching a pony eat a piece of meat, "A-alright, Beatrice: you can go back to your post."

She waved at them before leaving, "Bye Cap!"

Once the obviously insane unicorn had left the room, all of the occupants let out a breath they didn't know they were holding in.

Shining Armor looked back at the griffons, putting on a face that radiated a confidence he didn't feel, "Well, I believe that you're served your time for the official stuff, though you'll be put under watch for the unofficial stuff. I suggest you leave Equestria as soon as you can."

A door opened and Shining Armor led them through it. Once through it revealed a prisoner departure area, and the griffons were left to be discharged by the resident Royal Guards. Shining Armor then went back through the door he led the griffons through and found a smirking Forgemaster and a calm Princess Celestia waiting in the room where he had 'interviewed' the griffons.

The Forgemaster spoke up as soon as he entered, "Good job, Shining Armor! You kept to the script and thoroughly made the griffons completely rattled. With that little misinformation about the ponies being in their ranks spread around, I'm sure their 'infiltrations' will come to a halt as they review their own spies. First day on the job and I completely paralyze an enemy intelligence service."

The Forgemaster stretched out a hand towards him, "I look forward to working with you, Captain Shining Armor."

They shook hands/hooves on the deal, sealing it.

"As do I, but what if they find us out?"

"How could they? Their only source of information will be 3 trusted agents that all saw the same thing. Only the higher-ups will think anything suspicious of it, and by then all of the lower ranks will be convinced that their best friend is a pony spy. Even if they get their agents whipped into shape, which I doubt, that'll be months from now."

Celestia intervened, "Indeed, but now is not the time to speak of such matters. Forgemaster, I believe that you have your Guards to review, Captain please assist him."

Celestia then teleported away, gone off to do… princessy duties. The Forgemaster then shifted back into his pony form. He and Shining Armor began the long, long, long, long climb back up the stairs to the castle.

wWwWwWw

"Alrighty then, Shining Armor, please take me to the barracks."

The Forgemaster and Shining Armor left the hidden doorway the way they had found it: closed and hidden. The 2 then left to go visit the barracks, as The Forgemaster wished to review the so-called soldiers he would be leading. On the way, he received a report from Shining Armor on the types of training the various guards receive, and what specialties they may have. In addition, The Forgemaster learned the differences between the 2 houses of Guards, namely the day time guards, and the night time guards. Apparently, they received the same training in basic though when the new guards are assigned to one of the 2 houses they learned differing skill sets.

The Forgemaster was quick to remedy the 'deficiencies' he saw in the training.

The Forgemaster arrived at the barracks, but didn't go inside. Instead he yelled and screamed at the ponies inside the barracks until they came out to him. Once in proper lines, The Forgemaster demanded that they form a circle, which they did. He then pointed to 2 different guards and told them to enter the circle. He placed them about 10 paces from each other and then stood between them.

Yelling out in a throaty growl, The Forgemaster said, "You have all sparred before, this I know. But you are not sparring anymore. From here on in; you lot are fighting! You are going to try to stop your opponent at all costs; a real enemy will do the same. If you do not go at your enemy with the intent to kill, then you will die! If I do not see any form of actual damage within 1 minute of starting each match, both participants are to run around Canterlot 1 time before returning to the circle. Actual damage includes: broken bones, which the match will not stop for, severe bruising and/or lacerations, which the match will not stop for, and any form of concussion or other disability, which the match will not stop for. Do you understand me!"

After receiving various form of agreement, he yelled out, "I said; 'Do you understand me'!"

"Yes, Sir!" the guard ponies replied as one

"Very well, begin!"

So the legend of the fighting circle was begun. Recruits from then and onwards would receive valuable experience from the fighting circle; as it was completely and utterly brutal fighting. That day, the guards' win/loss ratio wasn't very good, 10 years later with the circle still being used and the ratio would be drastically improved. Though, The Forgemaster still liked to refer to the circle as the 'Killy Circle'.

Leaving the ponies to beat the tar out of each other as best as they could, and leaving Shining Armor there to oversee such a glorious undertaking, The Forgemaster went in search of the actual leaders of any army: the sergeants, drill sergeants, staff sergeants, gunnery sergeants, though Equestria didn't have gunnery sergeants. As all recruits are shaped and molded by the training they receive from the sergeants; the sergeants, whether they know it or not, have the most authority over where an army was going in the future: either up, or down.

The Forgemaster managed to find some, and ordered them to round up the rest. He then proceeded to have a meeting with these glorious leaders of ponies. He described a future where the Royal Guards were the best fighting force in the whole world, and the sergeants readily agreed with is ideas. All of them, in fact. The Forgemaster drew up a list: improved pay, improved benefits, increased training, increased retirement pay, specialized training, and better equipment. Though, by far, the best thing The Forgemaster had done was to make all of the soldiers go through advanced medical courses. Instead of giving all of the soldiers basic, and having designated medics, The Forgemaster basically made the Royal Guards an entire army of fighting medics. The Royal Guards would go on to have the lowest casualty rating, and yet still be in the thick of the action constantly, for years to come.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster stood on a podium, addressing his troops.

"You are all good ponies. But, with my help you'll become the deadliest ponies this side of hell. Equestria will need you to be at your strongest, will you answer her call? What about when enemies threaten our beloved leaders, will you let them harm them? The answer is a 'hell no you disgusting fool'. Look to the ponies that stand next to you: they are now your battle-brothers. A bond forged in the heat of battle, in the fires of war, in the crucible of deadly combat is a bond that can never be broken. You will have to be the best for not only yourselves, but for your brothers, your leaders, and the citizens of Equestria. And I'll be damned if let those Equestrian Army grunts steal any of the credit!"

The answer from the assembled ponies was a mixture of laugh and cheers.

The Forgemaster nodded down towards his troops, "Good, I'm proud of you: one day and you've already gained the fires necessary to temper a warrior!" The Forgemaster then stepped back from the podium, saying over his shoulder, "If you'll excuse me, I have to see a mare."

The Forgemaster ignored the hoots, hollers, and laughs of his guards as he flew off towards Ponyville.

(A/N – You lot should check out this great thing called 'Pony Creator', just type that into Google. FYI)

Chapter 50

"So, you want to know why I call myself a Spartan, eh?"

"Good job, you successfully reiterated what I just asked."

He barked out a laugh, "Ha! Leave the snarky witticisms to me, Twilight Sparkle. And as for why I consider myself a Spartan: it's because, over my long life, they're the culture I enjoyed the most and most identified with. I could've chosen another, but I liked being a Spartan the most."

"And why is that?"

"Hmm… it's difficult to describe the Spartans. The reason I like being one is because they're the best at what they do. I suppose the closet thing you could approximate them with would be the Royal Guards."

She raised an eyebrow, "An entire culture of warriors?"

He laughed again, "No, no, no, no. Compared to the Royal Guards, the Spartans are more like super-warriors. Deformed children are culled immediately, males are taken at age 7 to train to become warriors in the Agoge system. The Agoge was designed to encourage discipline and physical toughness. It turned the Spartans into some of the most feared and respected warriors this side of hell. I enjoy being a part of such a well respected culture."

She smiled widely, "Fascinating!"

Twilight Sparkle's visits to The Forgemaster's home had not abated with time, in fact, they had increased. So much so that The Forgemaster actually had to set up a weekly time for the 2 to get together so that she wouldn't bother him at odd hours of the day. The pair was seated at the table, Twilight carefully avoiding the seat that was marked for Rainbow Dash; The Forgemaster guarded the seat from 'trespassers' with a passion. Also, this particular evening, Rainbow Dash had elected to sit in on their meeting, though she was often bored and didn't participate, but she still took the opportunity to learn more about her colt-friend without actually having to question him. Rainbow Dash insisted that she was 'supervising' though anyone could tell that she was just as curious about him as Twilight. The Forgemaster was currently in his pony form, saying that he needed to get used to it seeing as how that's the form he'll be using the most.

She wrote down what he had been saying in her various notepads, and after a moment of writing asked, "So what's hell?"

"Where sinners allegedly go to earn their punishments."

"What's the punishment? And what did they do?"

"A sinner is an individual who sins. A sin is something bad; lying, stealing, murder, etc, etc. As for their punishment… Well, in numerous cultures around the world, when someone dies, and they've lived a good life, their souls go up to heaven and they spend eternity in paradise with their god of choice. Unfortunately for sinners, they are either temporarily barred from paradise, permanently barred from paradise, or tortured into insanity until time stops, depending upon which culture or which religion you choose to believe."

Twilight looked horrified at the last suggestion, and had even stopped writing. The Forgemaster took no notice and continued.

"I like to believe that I've led a good life; that I've always tried to do good where possible. However, I've lived a long life and it's possible that the gods haven't taken very kindly to some of the things I've done. But I am forever barred from my reward by this stupid immortality!" He slammed the table with his fist, "It's frustrating; knowing that something awaits you when you die and not knowing what it is."

He fumed silently for a few moments, before continuing, "Excuse me as I get philosophical, Twilight Sparkle. Everything has a beginning and an end, especially living things. For instance; your beginning is a small hospital room in Canterlot, born to your parents Velvet Sparkle and Night Light. My beginnings, on the other hand, are shrouded in mystery, draped in an enigmatic blanket, tossed into an unknowable fire, whilst being shot at by some amnesiacs. Also, every being has an end; even immortals. Mortals know that they will die, and can plan accordingly… well, maybe not exactly but within a general area of when you're gonna die. Immortals can die, what with battle, poison, disease; it's completely possible for them to die. However, as they cannot die of old age they can never plan for their death."

Rainbow Dash chose that moment to enter the conversation in a most eloquent fashion, "Huh?"

"Think of it this way: every single individual is a boat. These 'boats' know where they are from and where they're going, but they know not how, when, or why they shall arrive. My 'boat' on the other hand, knows neither its destination nor its origin, and my destination can either be miles upon miles away, or it could be inches away. The mortal boats' destinations can only ever be so far away, mine, however, has a limitless possible distance."

Rainbow Dash just looked at him with a 'What?' look on her face.

He sighed, "I don't know when I'll die. Mortals have an idea of when they'll die. The uncertainty in when I will die fills me with discomfort."

"Oooooo…"

As he looked between Twilight and Rainbow, he thought that perhaps he had laid it on a little thick: the 2 looked like they were about to cry. In pity! If there was one thing on this planet that The Forgemaster hated with a passion, besides cowards, was any form of pity for him! The Forgemaster decided on an age-old tactic to stop the pity fest; changing the subject.

He turned to Rainbow, "Dashie, have you told Twilight Sparkle or the other the news?"

She looked lost for a moment, before realizing, "Oh… you mean… No, I guess I forgot again…" she said while rubbing the back of her neck.

Twilight was confused, "What news are you talking about?"

"Well, you know how when I was a pony without my memories, I slept with Rainbow Dash?" At her nod, he continued, "Well, we haven't exactly… stopped."

"W-what!"

Twilight was understandably upset by this revelation, clearly trusting her friends to tell her something so important. The Forgemaster continued on, regardless.

"One thing that I've learned about ponies is; mares love it when you… caress their cutie-marks."

Twilight managed to retain her intellectual properties even under such obvious embarrassment, "W-well, yes: t-that's to be expected. Cutie-marks are a f-fairly sensitive e-erogenous zone."

The Forgemaster smirked over at Rainbow Dash, who was simultaneously giggling and blushing at the obvious mention of her, he then looked back to Twilight, "What other… erogenous zones are there, Twilight Sparkle?"

"W-well, besides the, uh, o-obvious ones: on pegasi, the wings have a nerve center on the connecting appendage, making them very sensitive to… t-touch, and unicorns' horns are s-sensitive at the base."

He grinned lecherously over at Rainbow Dash, "Hey Rainbow, do you think we could… introduce another member to our midnight meetings?" he said, winking at her to assure her he wasn't serious.

She picked up on it immediately, she turned to look Twilight up and down in a seductive manner, "Oh, well: we'd need to find the right pony… any suggestions?"

They were both looking at Twilight now, who was visibly shaking under the… implications.

"I think I have an idea for a pony: how about a certain… lavender book-worm?"

Rainbow got out of her seat and went next to Twilight, "You wouldn't mean young, innocent Twilight, here, would you?"

"She does seem to have some sort of… charm about her. Don't you agree?"

"Of course; she's a very sexy mare. But, it is up to her, now isn't it Twilight?"

Twilight looked between the 2 of them, Rainbow grinning in a most seductive manner while The Forgemaster just smirked at her, awaiting her response. The more she looked between the 2 the more flustered she got, the more flustered she got the more her thoughts scattered to the 4 winds.

"I-I-I-I d-don't know…" she stammered out.

The Forgemaster smiled broadly, and moved closer to Twilight, moving to the opposite side of Rainbow. He then started to rub Rainbow's back, making her moan slightly causing Twilight to blush and hide her face.

"It's a simple question, Twilight Sparkle: yes… or no." he whispered in her ear.

"Please… stop."

"Or do you mean… start?"

"C'mon Twilight, you know you wanna…" Rainbow said in a sultry voice.

Then Twilight said the one thing that neither of the other 2 were suspecting.

After a long moment of hesitation, she said, "Okay…"

The Forgemaster's eyebrows went up in a display of surprise that would've shocked any who knew of his personality. He looked over Twilight to lock eyes with Rainbow who also had wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

He wiggled his brow and tilted his head towards Twilight in a manner that said, 'What do you want to do?'

With a single nod and a grin, Rainbow said, 'Why not?'

This all happened in a matter of seconds, and Twilight hadn't noticed the delay and neither had she raised her head from in between her legs.

He spoke, "C'mon, Twilight Sparkle; I believe that my bed is big enough for 3…"

He nudged her off of the chair with Rainbow helping. They managed to get Twilight off the chair and walking up the stairs towards the bedroom under her own power. As they did so, The Forgemaster had a rushed, whispered conversation with Rainbow Dash.

"Sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"Why not? This'll be fun!"

"This isn't going to end well; I'll probably have to actually make small talk with her later."

Twilight looked over her shoulder at them, wondering why and what they were whispering about.

As he saw her turn in their direction, he called out, "Hey, keep that flank where I can see it!" while Rainbow giggled.

Twilight immediately turned back around and walked faster with an immense blush on her face.

"It won't be so bad, you'll definitely enjoy it."

"I'm not going to dispute that… so how are we going to go about this?" he whispered back to Rainbow

She smirked at him, "What? Never had 2 mares at once?"

He scoffed at her, "Occasionally, but Twilight is an acquaintance. Sex is serious business with females, especially amongst friends."

"Fine, just leave her to me, alright?"

He cocked a brow, "Why?"

"Ugh… colts."

He giggled at the face she made, and then called out to Twilight, "Hey Twilight Sparkle! I know the combination to Dashie's metaphorical lock; it will be interesting deciphering yours!"

She 'Eep'd in a manner that only Fluttershy could duplicate.

He looked back to Rainbow with a smug look on his face, "I think I can handle this."

"Oh, you are so paying for that!"

And then… the bedroom!

The Forgemaster made one last remark before taking the plunge, "Never bet against my abilities to corrupt the innocent, my little heroes!"

wWwWwWw

Early the next morning

The Forgemaster awoke in his bed as a pony, something he would also have to get used to. He looked to his left and saw a very content Rainbow Dash sleeping fitfully, he looked to his right to see Twilight Sparkle sleeping much the same way. Both had their hooves over his chest.

He thought back to the thing he had said to Rainbow when this had happened last time, 'I must've forgotten to turn off my swag; I woke up covered in mares.' It is much more applicable to his current situation, seeing as how there is more than one mare that he woke up covered in, this time.

'Ah, shit. I still have to write that report for Celestia…' he thought.

He began the process of extricating himself from the 2 mares, who subconsciously refused to let him out of their hooves, apparently. Rainbow Dash wasn't likely to wake, seeing as how she was used to waking up past noon, and Twilight wouldn't wake due to recent… exertions that she isn't used to performing in the middle of the night. It took him 12 minutes and a whole lot of anxiety to get out of their grip without waking either, or so he thought.

He managed to get onto the floor and half-way across the room before Rainbow Dash spoke to him.

"Hey, what are you doing up? It's only 9." She croaked out in her morning rasp, which was more than usual.

He shook his hoof at her, "Go back to nuzzling Twilight Sparkle; I'll only be a moment."

She nodded, and did exactly as he said: she began nuzzling Twilight, who, in her still sleeping state, nuzzled back in a most adorable fashion. Adorable up 'till you find out that they recently had sex; then it becomes more like randy than adorable.

On the way down the stairs, he turned back into a human. Some tasks were similar between the 2 species, but for anything that requires intricacy, The Forgemaster always chooses human; it has something to do with having fingers. That, and the fact that The Forgemaster can't exactly write very well without fingers, or at all, really. Pony writing is far simpler than human written language, it has similar amounts of characters, but the characters are simpler, with fewer curves, blockier style, etc, etc; they were made with hooves and/or mouths in mind and so didn't develop the complexity that human fingers can accomplish with a pen or a quill. Fortunately, Celestia can read human writing thanks to the memory swap they had experienced earlier, and as an added bonus, if an enemy were to somehow steal one of his letters then they wouldn't have the translations for it, so it would be useless.

But down to business; why exactly The Forgemaster was writing a letter to Celestia. The answer is simple: Celestia wants to know what, exactly, he has done with her beloved guards, how the structure will change, and why the Royal Guard officers have been complaining so much recently.

Dear Leash Holder,

The Royal Guards are being entirely revamped, and the officers need to learn to adjust but are failing miserably. For instance; officer-ship will no longer be determined by seniority or experience, though those are admirable qualities, an officer will now be determined by whether or not the ponies actually get the job done. I suspect that many officers that are currently complaining will be replaced shortly.

I will also be re-structuring the Royal Guards. No longer will there be 2 houses of Royal Guards that guard you princesses at differing hours. Now, there will be 7 companies of around 500-600 guard ponies each. Do not worry; all of the companies will guard you to their utmost, though each will now be more independent, going on missions and the like throughout Equestria in addition to their primary objective of protecting the Royal Family, minus Blueblood… I do not like Blueblood.

The bearers of the Elements of Harmony will be receiving training in various fields, to better defend themselves. Doing it for them isn't an efficient use of my time, though I will continue to do so.

Your Eternal Watch Dog, The Forgemaster.

P.S: nice 'private' library, by the way. I stumbled across that in my memories and I must say: you retain a surprising… free spirit about you for someone of your authority, if you know what I mean. Before you get mad, know that I wasn't stingy with the 'private' details of my own life either.

P.P.S: Nice flank.

He then sent the letter, knowing he will probably be punished but not caring.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle were all having a nice breakfast together, and suffice to say; it was awkward. Well, it was awkward for Twilight, at the least; Rainbow didn't seem to notice at all, though The Forgemaster did notice in the way that older gentlemen always seem to know what's wrong with women. The Forgemaster took this time to say something he felt that he should've said long ago. Well, it was really mostly Rainbow pushing him to it, but regardless.

"Twilight Sparkle… it has come to my attention that I have been less than… cordial with my dealings with you..."

Twilight glanced up from her hay-bread and jam to look questioningly at him, completely missing Rainbow's smug look.

"… and for that, my little hero; I apologize. I shall take pains in the future to be more… magnanimous when dealing with you… is that acceptable?"

His response came in the form of Twilight leaping across the table and giving him a hug, to which The Forgemaster gently patted her on the back.

"I'll call you Twilight from now on, is that alright?" she nodded in response.

"Hey, Forgey?" asked Rainbow, "Why do you call us 'my little heroes'?"

"Yeah, I'd like to know too."

He grumbled under his breath so that nopony heard, "It's about damn time one of you noticed."

He said loud enough for them to hear, "For better or for worse; you are this nation's group of heroes. I, in my old age and great experience, have taken numerous heroes under my metaphoric… well; it used to be metaphoric, wing. You 6 are the next heroes I will train to meet this nation's challenges, just as I've trained thousands before, both sung and un-sung."

"Really! That's so cool!"

"Thank you for this, Forgey. I'm sure all of Equestria will thank you for this."

"Yeah, well. I had some fun times back then, I bet you can't compare." He said

"WHAT! I bet we can take them!"

He chuckled, "Maybe, Rainbow, but they aren't here for you to find out, now are they?"

"Argh!" Rainbow groaned, she slumped in her chair and after a moment said in a sad voice, "Can we go back to bed?"

He laughed and glanced at Twilight and said, "I don't see why not. Twilight, you staying or going?"

"There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy." –Dante

(A/N – Woo! Sexual innuendo at its finest, as well as Twilight no longer being an annoying acquaintance!

Chapter 51

The Forgemaster was having a wonderful day, relatively speaking of course. Every day will seem to be wonderful after some of the hell holes he's been through. He was walking through Ponyville, going to meet Rainbow Dash at the town square. And all of a sudden a vibration was felt throughout the town, thoroughly shaking the local ponies. He saw Rainbow Dash, in the distance, fly up to look around the town for what may be causing the commotion.

That question was answered when Rainbow yelled out, "STAMPEDE!"

'What is it with this place and attracting the strangest sorts of danger?' he thought

He stood calmly in the middle of the street as the ponies panicked around him, most fleeing into nearby buildings.

He watched as Pinkie vibrated on past him saying in a reverberating voice, "Hey! This makes my voice sound silly!"

Twilight called out, "Pinkie, Forgemaster, are you guys crazy, run!" before following her own advice

The Forgemaster yelled after her retreating form, "At least I'm not a coward!"

The mayor of Ponyville, The Forgemaster's public face of the village since becoming Duke, tried to calm the situation with a cliché, "Everypony calm down. There is no need to panic."

Rarity walked up to her and asked, dramatically, "But Mayor, whatever shall we do?"

Before the mayor could respond, Rainbow pointed out something in the distance, and closer inspection revealed it to be Applejack and her dog trying to stop the stampede.

The ponies all crowded together and began to cheer her on. The Forgemaster just yelled curses at the approaching hoard of cattle, to which the ponies either giggled or just glared at him. They cheered as she and the dog split up and began to corral the cattle, and even more so when Applejack jumped up onto one of the cows and threw a rope around the leader, before pulling it off course.

Somehow Pinkie managed to get some popcorn, and The Forgemaster partook in the snack, making Twilight roll her eyes at them.

"This is the best rodeo show I've ever seen." said Pinkie, as they ate some of the popcorn.

"I've seen better." Said The Forgemaster.

"What 'dyah mean! That was great!" yelled Pinkie

"Humans also had cattle. Saw a huge one once, almost 1000 cows were involved. Completely destroyed the town of San Juan." The ponies looked downcast at the story, and glared at him when he said, "Funny, though."

"Ugh, how can something destructive be funny?" asked Twilight, clearly disapproving

He shrugged at them, "There's just something beautiful in the how something gets destroyed… it's hard to explain."

The ponies just shrugged it off as something exclusive to the human species.

Thankfully, they were distracted from any further conversation when Applejack appeared over the hill with her dog, the sun in the background casting a truly epic figure. The Forgemaster approved. Applejack then reared onto her back legs and ran off into the distance.

The ponies cheered for their latest heroine.

Pinkie then bounced into the square yelling, "Yee haw! Ride 'em, cowpony!"

The mayor was off to the side singing Applejack's praises to Rarity and Twilight, "Applejack was just… just…"

"Fine?" suggested The Forgemaster

Then Pinkie broke some physics and appeared above them, screaming, "Appletastic!" and then physics resumed their normal course and Pinkie returned to earth.

"Exactly. We must do something to thank Applejack for single-hoofedly saving the town." Said the mayor

Pinkie got a gleam in her eye that really could only mean one thing, "I know! A party!"

Just as expected.

wWwWwWw

1 week, or so, later and the party was set. The entirety of Ponyville had been decorated for the occasion, and the inhabitants were ecstatic. The Forgemaster was lazing about on top of the 2 floor balcony around Carousel Boutique, with the various ponies surrounding him actually doing work; his work had been finished earlier that week when he made the actual award for Applejack. He watched as Twilight, with Spike on her back, walked up to Rarity and asked about the preparations.

"We all ready?" she asked Rarity

"Just one last thing." Rarity levitated the banner that The Forgemaster was lazing next to into the air and attached it to her boutique, "Now we're ready."

"Is Applejack all set?" Twilight asked

Rainbow fluttered up to provide the answer, "Actually, I haven't seen her all week."

Pinkie walked up and put in her 2 cents, "Not since the stampede."

"But she'll be here for sure. Applejack is never late." Declared Rainbow with confidence

"5 bits says Applejack is late!" he yelled down to the ponies

"You're on!" Rainbow yelled right back

The Forgemaster nodded and went back to sleeping.

Rainbow turned to her friends and snickered out, "Easiest money I ever made."

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster actually managed to fall asleep in the time it took Applejack to arrive. Unfortunately, few of the ponies noticed him sleeping above the stage where Twilight was going to make a speech. Thankfully, one of these was a pegasus and flew up to wake him.

Biggest mistake of that young colt's life.

The pegasus flew up to the balcony and hovered over him. After a few tries of trying to wake him up by yelling his name, the pegasus gently prodded the human on the chest with his hoof.

Second biggest mistake of that young colt's life.

The instant that hoof touched his chest, The Forgemaster woke up with a roar, grabbed the hoof painfully tight, and wrapped his other hand around the colt's throat, eyes burning with anger and hate as he glared directly into the pony's eyes as his hands applied enough pressure to crush the colt's throat. However, The Forgemaster seemed to snap out of whatever stupor he was in after a second, and released the colt, who immediately fell to the ground, holding his wounded throat and coughing his lungs out.

The Forgemaster reached out and patted the colt on the back, apologizing, "Sorry 'bout that, you shouldn't wake me up, or at least do it with a 6 foot long stick."

The colt nodded his agreement with the statement as The Forgemaster reassured him, "I didn't cause any permanent damage, aside from some pain, you'll be fine in a few minutes."

The Forgemaster picked up the pegasus and jumped over the railing. Once on the solid earth, he gave the colt a few bits and waited in the crowd with the other ponies. He arrived just in time to see Twilight walk up to the podium.

Twilight used some magic and apparently conjured up a few hundred note-cards out of thin air.

'She's been practicing…' he noticed.

Twilight began her speech with gusto, "Welcome everypony! Today we are here to honor a pony we can always count on to help in matters great and small. A pony whose contributions to—"

Here she was interrupted by Rainbow Dash flying in and knocking her note cards everywhere.

"Did you see Applejack's slick moves out there? What an athlete. This week she's gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it's gonna be so awesome." Said Rainbow, making the most adorable face The Forgemaster's ever seen, including from Fluttershy.

'By the gods…' he thought.

Twilight then pushed Rainbow Dash out of the way and magically conjured up even more note cards, before she was again interrupted by Pinkie Pie appearing directly in front of her.

"This week, I get to run Sugarcube Corner for the first time."

"What does that have to do with Applejack?" asked Twilight

"Oh. Applejack, one of the best bakers ever, is gonna help me. Applejack makes everything great, so free samples for everypony!" announced Pinkie, making all the ponies in the audience cheer for free food

Twilight then tried to get the speech back into order, "Oh-kay, that's great. Now if I could just make a point without being inter—"

Twilight was interrupted… by Fluttershy.

"-rupted."

"Twilight, I'm so sorry, but I just wanted to mention that Applejack is also helping me this week with the official bunny census, where we count up all the new baby bunnies that were born this season. She's gonna help gather them using her wonderful herding skills."

"Anyone else? Anyone?" asked Twilight

She groaned when the Forgemaster stood up to the podium.

"I would also like to make a comment about Applejack." He stated

Twilight waited in silence for a few moments as The Forgemaster didn't say anything; so she prompted him with, "Well…"

He said, with a smirk, "Applejack is late. 5 bits please, Rainbow." He held out a hand towards the mentioned pegasus, who glared at him.

"It isn't over yet!" She yelled t him

The Forgemaster said, "I disagree." but still returned to his position in the audience.

Twilight then tried again, "Well then, as I was trying to say..."

Twilight noticed the mayor standing right next to her on the stage, smiling sweetly at her.

Twilight groaned and threw the note cards into the air before storming off in a huff, "Ugh! Never mind."

The mayor then took her position at the podium, "Ah-ahem. And so, with no further ado, it is my privilege to give the prize, Pony of Ponyville Award, to our beloved guest of honor, a pony of the utmost trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity. Ponyville's most capable and dependable friend: Applejack!"

The ponies all cheered while the mayor waved towards the curtain which swung aside to reveal… nothing. Applejack really was late. The Forgemaster held a hand out towards Rainbow Dash, who scowled before putting the bits into his hand.

Spike didn't seem to get the memo and continued to cheer, even as all the other ponies stopped after seeing that Applejack wasn't here. Truly an awkward moment for the young dragon.

"I'm here. I'm here. Sorry I'm late, I was just... Did I get your tail?"

Not more than 12 seconds after Spike's outburst, Applejack came through the crowd, weaving and yawning.

The Forgemaster leaned in towards Rainbow and whispered, "Is she drunk?"

Applejack stumbled onto the stage and went to the podium, "Miss Mayor. Thank you kindly for this here... award thingy."

Applejack then stumbled over to the actual trophy and looked at, saying, "It's so bright and shiny and, "she started to giggle, "I sure do look funny."

Applejack then proceeded to make a fool out of herself as she watched her distorted reflection in the shiny metal.

Rainbow leaned back in and whispered, "I'm not sure, she's sure actin' like it, but that's not the Applejack I know."

"My thoughts, exactly… something must be wrong."

He then noticed that Pinkie was up there with Applejack and they were both looking into the curved metal to see their distorted reflections. Twilight was up there, too, looking strangely at them.

"Okay. Well, thank you Applejack for saving us from that scary stampede, and always being there for everypony." Twilight said

The Forgemaster snorted indignantly when she said 'scary stampede', "It may've been scary for you, Twilight, but I was perfectly content to stand my ground."

Twilight glared at him, and he smiled cheekily back.

"Yeah. I like helping the pony folks and, and stuff." Applejack began to sleep while standing up, and then immediately snapped out of it, "Oh, uh, yeah. Uh, Thanks."

Applejack then dragged the trophy away to her farm, making The Forgemaster cry out, "Hey! That's good metalwork!"

Applejack ignored him and continued walking away. The ponies watched her walk away for a few moments in silence.

Then Twilight asked, "Was it just me, or did Applejack seem a little—"

"Tired?" supplied Rainbow.

"Dizzy?" said Fluttershy

"Drunk?" said The Forgemaster, getting glares from the ponies, prompting him to say, "What? Didn't you see the way she was stumbling about?"

Pinkie Pie, literally, jumped into the conversation, "She seemed fine to me." Before 'woo'ing quite loudly a few times.

The Forgemaster watched as Twilight's face narrowed… he knew that look. That was the face that Twilight put on when she was thinking something but wasn't quite sure… The Forgemaster was the leading cause of such looks, so he could identify one when he saw one. He had a feeling that Twilight would attempt to get to the bottom of this… whether Applejack wanted her or not.

"If any of you need me, I'll be at my place making some whimsical contraption for Rainbow." The Forgemaster said, before walking off to do just that.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster and Rainbow were waiting for Applejack to arrive. The Forgemaster was assembling his contraption, while Rainbow, for whatever reason, decided to stand on one of the fence poles. And, once again, Applejack was late, prompting The Forgemaster to ask for more bits from Rainbow, which she begrudgingly supplied. The Forgemaster managed to get his creation assembled early, it wasn't his greatest work, but then again; he didn't put much effort into it, almost none, in fact. He spent the rest of the time asking, demanding, and finally begging Rainbow to do the face again, but she steadfastly refused. Finally, after many minutes of waiting and arguing, Applejack showed up.

"There you are." Rainbow said an accusation in her tone.

Applejack yawned before saying, "I'm a might' sorry, Rainbow. I was busy applebuckin' and I guess ah, I closed my eyes for a second and, when I woke up, I was late. Now, what's this new trick a' yours?"

"See this contraption?" Rainbow indicated said contraption with a hoof.

"Yes, a contraption: it's something so advanced and technologically superior that none of you could know what it was really called… so it's a contraption." The Forgemaster said, clearly mocking them.

"Shut up, you!" Rainbow yelled at him, getting a rolling of the yes in response. Rainbow then turned back to Applejack, "Anyway, I'm gonna stand on one end, then you're gonna jump down from that platform, launching me into the air faster than I can take off on my own. Once I'm in the air, I'm gonna do some amazing flips and spins that are sure to impress the Wonderbolts."

The Forgemaster shook his head at her delusional adoration of the Wonderbolts: Rainbow was clearly superior to them, anyway.

"Isn't that a might' dangerous?" asked Applejack

"Heh, not for a pony who can fly." Said Rainbow

"You know, I probably should've brought some cushions…" said The Forgemaster; he shook his head once more because the mares seemingly ignored him.

"Well, alrighty then." agreed Applejack

The Forgemaster flew up to the platform that Applejack was to be jumping off of, while rainbow flew over to the other side of the 'contraption', as they so called it.

'It's a simple lever, honestly. They don't call it one of the 6 simple machines for no reason. M=Fd, it isn't hard.' He thought.

He waited up there, hovering next to the platform, not trusting it to carry his weight, when Applejack appeared next to him.

He raised a brow at her, before asking, "And just how did you get up here?"

He hadn't added a pony-friendly ladder to the construct; in fact, he hadn't added a ladder at all!

Applejack just looked at him with a 'are you serious' face, before looking over the edge and gasping out, "Oh my."

She appeared to waver for a moment before turning angrily towards him, "And just why aren't you doing this?"

He shrugged as best one can whilst also having wings and currently using them, not very well, it turns out, but enough to carry across his message, "I didn't want to. Besides: you agreed to this, I just made it."

Rainbow noticed Applejack and called out, "Ready? One... two... THREE!"

And Applejack fell off of the tower… completely missing the giant, red X'd wooden paddle she was supposed to be landing on.

Rainbow seemed to have the same thought s as he did when she said, "Umm... maybe I wasn't clear. You're supposed to land on the other end."

"I thought it was pretty obvious from up here." He called down

Applejack un-screwed her face up, and then said, "Got it."

Applejack then fell the same way again 3 more times. This prompted The Forgemaster to do something that even he had never done: counsel a pony on how to fall accurately.

Rainbow was upset by the very, very obvious failure of her orange compatriot, "Applejack, what the hay is going on? I mean, I thought I was working with Ponyville's best athlete!"

"You are." Said The Forgemaster and Applejack simultaneously, getting a laugh from The Forgemaster and Rainbow.

"I'm okay. Really. I-I have an idea. Watch this." Applejack then reached up to the platform she was supposed to be falling onto and then pulled it down to her. "Ta da! Oh... Maybe not. Okay, one more try. I'm sure to get it this time."

"Way to go Applejack, you successfully demonstrated the power of a lever without achieving the desired result." He called down to Applejack, who was, somehow, getting back onto the platform.

When Applejack had released the platform, Rainbow's end came crashing to the ground, momentarily stunning her, though The Forgemaster didn't notice.

Applejack looked over the edge one more time, getting last minute advice from The Forgemaster to 'aim left', "Here I go!" she called out, before flinging herself to the void.

Rainbow screamed, "Wait!" only after Applejack was in mid-air.

When Applejack hit the platform, the results were as expected: Rainbow getting flung half-way to no-where, though she clearly wasn't ready.

Rainbow screamed, "Applejaaaaaaaaaack!" as she flew through the air, not under her own power.

As she disappeared into the distance, The Forgemaster swore and flew after her, and Applejack looked over her shoulder and said, "You're welcome!"

As it turns out, Rainbow's unwilling destination was exactly 3.48 feet in front of Twilight, who was reading on her balcony. The Forgemaster managed to catch up with Rainbow just as she crashed into the balcony railing. He wasn't fast enough to catch her, but fast enough to be there when she did crash.

Twilight asked Rainbow,"Can I help you?"

"I think somepony else needs your help." She managed to get out.

"Applejack?"

"Yep."

"C'mon, Rainbow. We'll go back to my place and I'll see if you have internal bleeding." Said The Forgemaster

He picked a groaning Rainbow up off the railing and flew with her off to go to his house to check for internal bleeding, and while he was at it; treat Rainbow to a nice home-cooked meal.

Unfortunately, Twilight spoiled the 'dessert' by showing up with an emergency.

'Cock-blocking, Twilight? I thought such a thing was beneath you.' He thought.

wWwWwWw

"We came as soon as we heard, Nurse Redheart." Said Twilight

"Not me, I took my sweet time getting here." Said The Forgemaster

"Oh thank you, Twilight, Forgemaster. We need all the help we can get."

The curtain was pushed back to reveal about a dozen ponies, all ridiculously sick. Most of them had turned a comical, lime green, though The Forgemaster didn't laugh at the sight, sickness was a serious business, after all.

"Oh no! What happened?" yelled Twilight, eyeing the numerous sick ponies

"It was a mishap with some of the baked goods." Informed the good nurse

"No, not baked goods, baked bads." Said a very sick Pinkie, before puking into a bucket.

Twilight appears to think for a moment, before whispering harshly, "Applejack…"

Spike walks up with a pair of the 'baked bads' and offers them to Twilight, "Want one?" he asked.

The Forgemaster intervened, "Hell yes!"

He took one of the muffins out of his hands, making Twilight gag as he put it into his mouth and apparently savored the taste.

Chewing thoughtfully for a few moments before swallowing the muffin, he licked his lips and smiled before saying, "Hmm, lemon juice… potato chips… soda… earthworms?" Twilight flinched when he made his deduction, "Not as bad as fried Persian guts, I suppose. Overall; I'd rate this a C+, not good, not bad, but in the middle."

"B-but, it had earthworms!"

He cocked a brow at her, "It tastes like chicken, Twilight. It. Tastes. Like. Chicken." And then he laughed when her face turned green.

Spike, naïve as he was, asked, "What's fried Persian guts?"

The Forgemaster grinned at Twilight, who was glaring at him threateningly, even through her green face, he turned to Spike and said, "Well, guts are your various internal organs, Persians were a group of Humans that I hated, and fried is a way to cook things."

"You... you ate your own kind!" asked Spike, his face turning green too, and Twilight's worsened, in fact, she reached for a bucket with her magic.

"First off, Spike: if you ever try to tell me that Persians and I are in any way related, I smack you upside your head. Second of all: no, I'm not a cannibal, I didn't have enough time to cook them properly during the battle, and I wasn't about to catch some disease from eating uncooked meat."

Nurse Redheart, having heard the conversation, wasn't as green as the others, "What he said is true, meat should be thoroughly cooked before eaten. By any species that so requires it. Though, I don't think any of them would stoop to cannibalism." She said with a pointed glare at him

"I don't eat other humans; they taste disgusting!"

"And how would you know?"

"A disastrous trip into the Himalayas. It was him or me, damnit! Don't judge me!"

He flicked a wrist at the gathered ponies, and Twilight felt a powerful discharge of magic, along with a blinding flash of light. When she could see again, he was gone, but all of the sick ponies appeared to be better. Even Pinkie wasn't quite as green as she used to be, and she was undoubtedly the hardest hit.

Twilight just shook her head at his antics, and set off to find Applejack.

wWwWwWw

When Twilight finally found The Forgemaster after talking with Applejack, she was incredibly confused as to what she saw. She saw The Forgemaster in the middle of the road, laughing his head off so much that he was holding his sides. But the strange part was the 3 collapsed mares close to where he was. As Twilight walked towards them, the mares appeared to wake up out of their stupor.

"The horror, the horror!" the first yelled out, over The Forgemaster's booming laughs.

"It was awful!" yelled the second.

"A disaster, a horrible, horrible, disaster!" yelled the third.

Twilight looked up and down the street, not seeing anything amiss except for the large human in the middle of the street laughing loudly, "I don't get it."

The Forgemaster snapped up out of his laughing coma to say, "It was so very, very adorable!"

"Our gardens, destroyed." Said the second.

"Every last flower, devoured!" yelled the first.

"By… by… THEM!" said the third, pointing over Twilight's shoulders.

Twilight looked to see dozens of bunny rabbits eating everything in sight that was edible to them, with a panicked Fluttershy saying, "Oh my. Oh... Please stop, little bunnies. Oh no! Please, let's go home. Oh my goodness."

Twilight appeared to harden her resolve when she said, "Alright. Enough is enough!"

Which was almost completely ruined when The Forgemaster said, "Indeed you are correct, Twilight. In fact, I believe 'enough' is the exact meaning behind the word 'enough', Bwahahaha!"

"Shut up, Forgemaster. And come with me; we're going to talk to Applejack!"

"Aww, damnit." He hung his head low, and followed Twilight with his head steadfastly looking straight down: the very embodiment of dejection.

They swung by his house, which was on the way, and The Forgemaster ran inside and came out with a small bottle of red liquid. She wanted to ask The Forgemaster what it was, but she knew he wouldn't tell her.

They arrived at the orchard fairly quickly, and found an exhausted Applejack still bucking away at a lone tree on top of a hill.

Applejack was mumbling to herself when they approached her, "Must keep buckin'... just a few more. Must finish harvestin'.

Twilight got into lecture mode… Gods how he hated that mode.

"Alright, Applejack. Your apple bucking hasn't just caused you problems, it's over-propelled Pegasus', practically poisoned plenty of ponies, and terrorized bushels of brand new bouncing baby bunnies. I don't care what you say, you.Need. Help."

"To be honest, I don't care either way. But, I don't want to see you over-strain yourself." The Forgemaster added, unhelpfully.

Applejack kicked the tree behind her one more time, with all of the apples falling into her baskets, "Ha! No I don't. Look, I did it. I harvested the entire Sweet Apple Acres without your help. How d'ya like them apples?" she said, indicating the eastern fields of the orchard

A large red stallion that he had never met before strutted up to them and said, "Um, how do you like them apples?" indicating the entire western section of the orchard, which was entirely untouched.

Applejack appeared to lose grip with reality after hearing that, and quickly fell down, unconscious.

She awoke, thankfully, a few minutes later, to Twilight yelling at her because she was still in lecture mode and wouldn't stop until the target of her irritation had learned its lesson.

"Applejack… Applejack…" she said to the unconscious farmer pony, who just then woke up.

"Huh?"

"Oh, good, you're okay. Now Applejack, I completely respect the Apple family ways. You're always there to help any pony in need, so maybe you can put a little of your stubborn pride aside and allow your friends to help you."

"Okay, Twilight."

Twilight apparently was oblivious when in lecture mode, too, "I am not taking "no" for an answer-what?"

"Yes, Twilight. Yes, please. I could really use your help."

"Here Applejack, take this. I guarantee that after drinking this it will feel like you've been asleep for 8 hours straight." Said The Forgemaster, handing her the small bottle of red liquid he got out of his house.

She looked up at him skeptically, but at his nod downed the whole thing in one go. She immediately fell into a deep, restful sleep.

Twilight raised a brow at him.

In his defense, he said, "I didn't lie: once she wakes up 8 hours from now, she'll feel like she just slept 8 hours! Gods, I love potions!"

He started laughing wildly, before picking Applejack up as easily as if he were picking up a pillow and carried her into her house. She did not even stir slightly.

Exactly 7 hours and 59 minutes later…

The Forgemaster and the rest of Applejack friends were in the orchards of the Apple family and were working hard to bring in the apple harvest. The Forgemaster assured them that no matter how hard they worked, or how much noise they made; Applejack wouldn't wake up, so they all worked to their fullest.

Though most of the ponies were bucking the trees and gathering the apples, though Fluttershy just collected them. He and Twilight seemed to have vastly differing methods from them.

Twilight was using her magic to pull every single apple off of the tree at once before dropping them into buckets.

The Forgemaster was doing something similar, in a way: he was using magic to get the apples down off of the tress and into the buckets, he just wasn't using levitation. He was walking up to entire groups of trees and placing baskets underneath them. Once the baskets were in place, he lifted up a foot and magically charged it before bringing it crashing down to the ground, shaking all of the apples off of the trees near him and into baskets.

Between the 2, Twilight claimed that she was faster and more efficient, but The Forgemaster said that he was doing it the traditional Apple family way, by a technicality; he was knocking them down by shaking them, causing the apples to fall while Twilight just picked them up with magic, and therefore was superior. It didn't really matter, either way, because either one of them took down more apples than the rest of the ponies did combined.

At exactly the appointed minute: Applejack awoke from her slumber. She rose quickly to find her friends still hard at work, and decided to bring them all apple juice in thanks.

"How about y'all take a little break? I got some fine apple juice waitin' for ya!" Applejack set up a table quickly, and the workers all stood around it and sipped at the apple juice provided, "Girls, I can't thank you enough for this help. I was acting a bit stubborn."

"Why do you lot insist on calling me a female?"

"We don't mean to… it's just that… well, have you noticed that there's a lot more mares than stallions in Ponyville?"

"Yes, I have. Though I don't see you calling them females…"

"Ugh, I'm sorry, okay."

"Apology accepted. And, for the record, I could shape shift into a female, if I wanted to."

She waved it off as just another thing that The Forgemaster did, "I'm awful sorry for being so stubborn. Now, I know the town gave me the Prized Pony award, but the real award is having you five as my friends. Oops, sorry, 6 friends."

He raised a brow at her. Normally he would've said that they weren't friends, but damnit if these ponies weren't growing on him.

"Phew! That apple bucking sure made me hungry." Declared Rainbow

"I know of another kind of 'bucking' that usually makes me hungry…" The Forgemaster trailed off, leaving the answer to the imaginations of these 6 mares, who immediately connected the dots and laughed.

"Shut up, Forgey!" yelled Rainbow, giggling.

"Have we told anyone besides Twilight, Dashie?"

"Urgh! For Celestia's sake, it always slips my mind!" Rainbow angrily yelled out.

"Tell us what, dear?" asked Rarity.

"Rainbow and I are mare and colt-friends."

"Oh… my, well congratulations!" said Rarity, obviously flustered.

"I'm so happy for you!" screamed Pinkie.

"That's so nice for you." Whispered Fluttershy.

"You best treat 'er right, Forgey." Grumbled Applejack

Rainbow beamed happily with all the well-wishing.

"This calls for a party!" yelled Pinkie

"At least announce it as being between Crimson and Rainbow. I don't want anyone criticizing her or me on our life choices."

Pinkie slightly deflated, "Alright…"

Rainbow smiled at him, clearly happy that he had thought that through.

"So, Applejack: how is the feeling of sleeping 8 hours straight going for you?"

"Be quiet, you! I thought it was some sorta magical potion tah give me back mah energy!"

"And it was, was it not? It sent you to sleep: the best way to regain your energy."

Applejack grumbled to herself while the other ponies laughed at the exchange between the 2: even Applejack's lie-detection abilities were nothing for The Forgemaster to break through with a small amount of thought.

Chapter 52

The Forgemaster was in his office, and in his pony form seeing as how Celestia still didn't want his soldiers to know that, the one commissioned for him by Princess Celestia so that he may carry out his duties as Lord-general of the guards. The office was fairly Spartan in its furnishings, with only the desk and a few chairs, though it did offer a rather splendid view of his 'Killy Circle'. It was enough to do some work in, and that's it. Unfortunately, the work to be doing was paperwork… lots of it! It was the only kind of work that he despised with a passion. For instance, he was, at the moment, going through the Royal Guard finances, and managing them appropriately.

An army runs on exactly 1 thing: money. Of course, that is an entirely over-simplistic way of viewing it but it is also entirely true. A more expanded way of looking at it would be that an army runs on food, soldiers, equipment, and money, but that's beside the point because you can buy food with money, buy equipment with money, and hire soldiers with money. So, the bottom line is everything requires money.

Thanks to his recent budget adjustments, The Forgemaster had acquired more funds for the Royal Guard and the Equestrian Army. At the moment, he was deciding how he was going to distribute the new funds. Well, nothing an army loves more than wage increases… except for maybe better rations.

'Hmm, maybe I should set up a poll: who wants better rations and who wants pay increases…'he thought.

Unfortunately, his musings and paperwork were disturbed by the sudden entrance of his right hand stallion Shining Armor. The stallion in question walked right up to his desk and stood at attention.

In the way only older people, or ponies, could tell, The Forgemaster immediately knew that something was upsetting the younger pony.

He looked up from his paperwork and asked, "Is there something bothering you?"

Shining Armor cocked a brow at him, "How did you know, sir?"

He grinned at him, "My father-figure senses were tingling."

The colt didn't seem to understand, so he offered this as an explanation, "Ever notice how the Princesses seem to notice when something is wrong, too? Well, that's their mother-figure senses tingling. Similar to mine, only feminine. These senses only occur in those old and wise enough to have seen virtually everything, and know enough to see things in others."

"Oh, I understand now. That's true, you know, the Princesses do seem to know whenever something is wrong, sometimes before it even happens."

"Yes, that's another way of saying exactly what I just said." He barked out a laugh at Shining Armor's indignant face, "Anyways, you wanna talk about it?"

"I wouldn't want to impose, sir."

"Nonsense! It is the duty of all commanding officers to make sure their men operate at peak efficiency, and that certainly won't happen when my second is moping about! Now tell me what's on your mind."

Shining Armor took a moment to gather his thoughts, and work up his courage even though he had practically demanded that he help out the younger male.

With great hesitation, he began, "Well… there's this mare-"

"Ah, mare problems." The Forgemaster said, remembering his own difficulties with the opposite sex, species being disregarded, "So who's the lucky mare?" he asked joyfully.

With even more hesitation, he said, "Princess… Cadance."

"Hmm, good choice. Real name: Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Alicorn, pink, special talent is spreading love, intelligent, courageous, beautiful; if you like pink, I suppose, no history of diseases in her family, close link to the throne, Princess Celestia's niece. All in all, an excellent pony to be in a relationship with… so what's the problem?"

Shining Armor almost visibly flinched when he heard the quick, business-like summary of the one he was interested in.

"Well, the, uh, problem is that I, uh, I mean: she and I, uh-"

"You haven't yet asked her out on a date, and you aren't sure as to the nature of her feeling regarding you?"

The Captain of the Royal Guard nodded meekly, clearly impressed with the perception of his boss.

"Alright, look at it this way: you certainly won't resolve the situation by standing here, will you? You have to go and ask; be a man! Er, a stallion!"

"I can't just walk up to a princess and ask her if she wants to go on a date with me!"

"I can!"

The Forgemaster reaches over his desk, and grabs Shining Armor's hoof. The instant they touch, The Forgemaster teleports them to the throne room, with Princess Celestia sitting on the throne.

He looks over at the bewildered Shining Armor and says, "Watch! It's as easy as this!" He looks up at Princess Celestia, who is looking slightly confused and asks, "Celestia, will you please go on a date with me?"

There was an audible intake of breath from every pony currently in the throne rrom.

He looks back over to Shining Armor and says, "See? Easy as name, please, question. If she says no, you take it like a, uh, stallion, thank her for her time and then walk away. If she says yes, then you take her out to the fanciest-shmansiest restaurant in town and treat her like she's the only mare in existence. Right, Celestia?"

Celestia slowly blinks twice, "Were you using me as an example to ask mares on a date?"

"Yes."

Celestia seems to ponder the original question for a moment, "Well, that is basically how you ask somepony on a date, and certainly how you treat your marefriend, regardless of whether or not you are on a date. So yes, Crimson, that is correct. But, no, I don't want to go on a date with you; you're not really my type."

He looked back over at her and said, "Strong and silent type, right?"

She glared back in response, as some of the guards giggled.

He looked back at Shining Armor, who was now stewing under the collective looks of much of the Royal Guards currently in attendance; he said to Shining Armor, "Well, in case it doesn't work out with your lady-friend; this is an example in taking rejection like a stallion." He looked back to Celestia and said, "I understand, and have a nice day, I'm truly sorry that it wouldn't work out between us. And then you walk away with your head held high, or, in this case, teleport away. Thank you, Celestia; I'm sure your dating advice will resound through the ages, oh wise one."

He turned towards an open window and screamed out, "If anypony needs dating advice: please ask Princess Celestia!"

He grabbed Shining Armor again, and was about to teleport, but said something to the assembled guards before leaving, "Hey, now, we all went through the dating phase once, there will be no idle gossip, nor will there be any insulting of the good Captain."

He then immediately teleported back to his office, with Shining Armor coming along for the ride. The Forgemaster went back behind his desk and sat down in his chair while Shining Armor stood in a daze, unable to process what had just happened.

"Alright, now that you know how easy it is to ask somepony on a date, all you have to do is find your mare and ask her."

Shining Armor was only just now recovering from his panic attack, "Th-thank you, sir?"

The Forgemaster sat down in his chair and looked out his window, "Don't mention it- hey wait! Look!"

He pointed out the window to see 2 of the guard ponies inside the 'Killy Circle'. It soon became apparent that the 2 were not pulling their punches.

"Oh, damn! He just got kicked in the nuts! Poor guy…"

Shining Armor joined him at the window, "Hmm… I didn't know they could use chairs… then again, you did say that there weren't any restrictions…"

They watched as the 2 nearly killed each other, though neither seemed to slow or stop as they fought again and again.

"This is just too good! Whoever these 2 are, they deserve a pay raise for this kind of quality… wait. I control pay raises, don't I?"

"Yes you do, sir. Oooo, that one looked painful."

"Did that mare just buck him in the wings?"

"I didn't even think that was possible… Holy Celestia, that mare broke his wing but he's still going!"

"Shining Armor, take a letter: all guards are to be formed into teams of 3 and are to go into the Everfree forest and find and kill a manticore."

"W-what!"

"Something about the way that mare is fighting reminds me of a manticore, and besides: they could use the experience. Call it a team-building exercise. Now let's get down there for some front seat entertainment."

He opened the window and jumped down, levitating Shining Armor down with him because he was afraid of falling a few stories. He quickly got to the edge of the circle with Shining, and watched the truly barbaric ponies fight. The 2 fighters didn't even realize they were there, so involved were they in the fighting. The mare seemed to be constantly calculating and re-adjusting the way she fought. The stallion rushed in, heedless of danger, and kept pummeling away at her no matter the damage he sustained. As they watched the mare and stallion physically traumatize one another, he whispered some things to Shining Armor.

"Now listen here; there are 2 ways to fight. Number 1 is ice cold. Number 2 is red-hot. Those who fight ice cold keep a level head during a fight, and are fully in control of themselves and acknowledge their surroundings. Those who fight red-hot lose themselves to the battle-wrath, they become unaware of their surroundings and only focus on the target at hand, some even going so far as to completely ignore all types of pain. Obviously; the mare is cold, and the stallion is hot. Gods, I love my 'Killy Circle'. I like these 2 ponies, too: something about the way they're killing each other strikes a chord in my cold, dead heart."

Eventually, both parties had become so injured that they had to stop fighting. Both, however, disregarded that rule and they kept fighting each other, going against all sanity to win. The Forgemaster and Shining Armor were forced to intervene. Shining Armor stopped the mare, the ice-cold one, and she quickly ceased her struggles and agreed to stop fighting. The stallion, on the other hand, was in the grips of battle-rage and wasn't stopping. Well, he tried not stopping, but a simple spell rendered the stallion immobile.

As The Forgemaster held down the struggling stallion, even through the immobilization spell, he looked over to Shining Armor and the mare and said, "Ladies and gentlecolts, please meet the company berserker-pony." And chuckled when the stallion bucked once more to get out of his hold.

It took a full 3 minutes of not moving for the adrenaline in the young stallion's blood to die down. He was immediately rendered unconscious from the lack of energy. The Forgemaster took him and the mare to the medics. The Guard medics have become ever-so-much more experienced since he started the circle, and he was glad: more experienced medics meant less dead!

The Forgemaster decided to walk around the barracks and see how his guards were doing. As it turned out, they were doing surprisingly well. He and Shining Armor began to talk once more on his problems as they inspected the Royal Guards.

"Have you given any thought to your mare problems?"

"Yes, I have. And I noticed that you are much more courageous than me, so it may be more difficult than I imagined to ask her."

"Pussy. Where is she? I'll lock her and you into a closet until you ask."

"What! No!"

"Yes, c'mon; we're going to go find her now. This has been too much fun for me to simply ignore, now."

He then stalked off, looking for Princess Cadance, with a begging and pleading Shining Armor behind him. As if the kid could get more embarrassed than from what happened earlier with Celestia.

He searched high and low for the princess, before finally having to go and ask Princess Celestia, who informed him as to Cadance's location, and gave the Captain a knowing smirk on the way out. As it turns out, Cadance was in the Canterlot gardens, helping to organize a school field trip from Ponyville that was currently there. He found her amongst a crowd of students that he recognized as being from the school in Ponyville, with Ms. Cheerilee leading the rambunctious group. The Forgemaster approached the pink princess with a stubborn Captain on his heels begging him to stop, though he became quieter and quieter the closer he got to Princess Cadance.

"Excuse me, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?" he asked her

She immediately waved a hoof in his face, "No, no. Please don't call me that: call me Cadance instead, please!"

He snorted, "Very well. My name is Crimson Hammer and I am in charge of the Royal Guard, this is my second, Shining Armor." He gestured towards the stallion in question

Princess Cadance smiled at him, and gave him a friendly greeting, which he returned… hesitantly.

The Forgemaster continued his conversation, "I was here to meet, in the flesh, all of the royal family members. My mission here is at its end, and it is nice to finally meet you. However, Princess Cadance, my second here had a question of undying importance to ask you, but I must be on my way. Please answer him to your fullest ability."

He shooed them off in the direction off the castle, with Shining Armor actually talking to the princess, which came as a slight surprise.

'After all the work I had in getting you 2 together, I had sure as shit better be invited to the wedding!' he thought.

He looked over at the group of students following Ms. Cheerilee, and decided that he didn't have anything important to do, so he followed them. He didn't really join the group; he just followed close behind to listen in, but far enough so that he wasn't interacted with.

The group was having a rather nice tour of the Canterlot gardens, seeing as how Ms. Cheerilee was leading them. Most of the other guides were incredibly dull, but she was doing a great job. They stopped in front of the statue of 'Discord' that he and Rainbow Dash had passed on their night out here in Canterlot.

Ms. Cheerilee told them of the statue and pointed out some rather interesting facts about it. The Forgemaster was seemingly the only one besides the Princesses that knew it was an actual creature, and not just a statue.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were being their usual selves, and caused an argument amongst the friends, which quickly escalated into a full-on brawl. This caused Ms. Cheerilee to assign them homework, and caused The Forgemaster to start chuckling.

This chuckle immediately died in his throat when he noticed the cracks in the stone prison.

Only one thought went through his head.

'Aw, shit."

Chapter 53

(A/N – A buddy of mine suggested that Forgey should've been called 'The Trollmaster'. Thought that was worth sharing…)

'Aw shit…' he thought.

According to Celestia's memories: Discord was a serious problem a long time ago, before Celestia was even called a princess. And if he's getting out of his prison, that spelled bad things for all of Equestria. And the only one close enough to help was him…

'Damn.' He thought.

He had 3 options. Number 1: flee to Celestia's bosom like a coward. Number 2: walk casually to Celestia and inform her of the situation like a reasonable person would do. Or, Number 3: run bat-shit crazy to Celestia while yelling the whole time and doing some sweets stunts along the way…

'I choose number 3, Rainbow would approve…' he thought.

He took a deep breath and then screamed as loud as physically possible, "CELESTIA!" causing the local architecture to shake and the hedges and statues around him to lean away from him.

He then took to flight and flew as fast as possible to the front entrance of the palace, all the while doing spins and barrel rolls through the air. Instead of taking the easy route and fly above everything else, he stayed close to the ground and dodged and weaved amongst the local snobbish ponies. He actually managed to knock a few out just by flying past them at a ridiculous speed, much to the locals' chagrin, though he loved that.

The Royal Guards at the front gate saw him coming, and likely heard him from earlier, and let him pass uninterrupted. He found his way through the castle to find the throne room. Upon reaching the doorway to the throne room, the doors were closed.

Instead of doing the sensible thing of opening them, The Forgemaster spun on his forelegs and kicked the doors with his hind legs with all his might. He shattered the gates and blew them right off of their hinges, spraying bits of door throughout the throne room. To say that the ponies inside were surprised would be the biggest understatement of the century. Well, it was really only the one noble who was surprised, the guards glanced in his direction but stayed at their posts and Celestia retained the calm demeanor she was known for. Apparently, nobles didn't understand just how powerful he was yet, evidenced by the freaking out white unicorn in the room.

"Shit… that's Blueblood.' He thought.

The Forgemaster stalked across the room quickly, moving towards Celestia, who appeared interested. Blueblood used this time to regain his composure from the shock of the sudden entry of a giant pony, as well as the sneering, arrogant visage that the Canterlot citizenry seemed to always have.

"Commoner! You will pay dearly for that! Guards, seize him!" the bloody fool said.

Not a single guard even so much as twitched in their direction.

The Forgemaster wasn't having a particularly pleasant day, and let the fool have it, "Listen here you little shit. I am happy to be a commoner, because I have something that you never will: social skills, brains, a sense of self-worth, knowing the worth of a bit. Nobles, with the exception of a miniscule fraction that borders on the tens of trillions of 1 percent of the population of nobles, are all arrogant, foolish, assholes. You aren't intelligent, you have no social skills, you have the personality of a damn mule, no offense." He said to the mule that was standing nearby, who replied with, "None taken."

The Forgemaster continued his rant, "You are a coward, you have no significant strength in your body, the only thing that you can claim is your slight fortune, which I have eclipsed with a single invention and a lot of hard work. You aren't even a real prince: you are the grandchild to the 152 degree of the foal that was the child of the mare that married Celestia's cousin before they had even met. You are in no way related to the royal family by blood. And you just made the mistake of insulting the one stallion in Equestria who needs to fear no legal recourse for anything short of murdering you in a most gruesome fashion. In a word: you are a complete and utter idiot, get out of my throne room."

The Forgemaster then continued his walk towards Celestia, completely ignoring the fact that he had just completely destroyed Blueblood. He did, however, notice the looks of awe on all of the guards' faces, as well as quite a few smirks. Apparently, the fool was detested by the guards just as much as The Forgemaster detested him, and they had been wanting to do that to the 'Prince' for a while.

Celestia, on the other hand, looked slightly miffed at him, probably because he had called it 'his throne room'. But, he had a feeling that her mood would change when he told her about Discord. The Forgemaster had just opened his mouth to inform the Princess of the developing situation when, true to form, the idiot behind him spoke.

"You- you dare!"

The Forgemaster was entirely fed up with listening to the slack-jawed fool, and decided that a show of power would cow the fool into leaving.

With a small pull of magic, every weapon that was in every guard in the room's sheath was hurtling towards the stupid noble. He stopped them a centimeter from the idiot's skin, every inch of him blotted out by the sheer number of dangerous implements surrounding him, making him appear to be a large pincushion of weapons from the outside.

"Do you want me to kill you?" he asked, deadpan.

The panicking noble barely managed to squeak out in a high pitched and trembling voice, "W-what?"

"It is a simple question, one with serious consequences, however. You say no, you live, and if you say yes, you die. Now answer the question."

"No, please let me live!"

"Then you are going to shut the fuck up and get the fuck out."

The Forgemaster released the fool from his sharp and pointy prison and sent the weapons back to their rightful owners, who were looking at him with a look that spoke volumes of how much they hated dealing with that particular stallion. Said stallion was no fleeing for his life, with his tail between his legs. The Forgemaster didn't know that ponies could do that… good to know.

Now, however, The Forgemaster was safe to deal with what he came here to do, even though yelling at Blueblood totally made his day, or maybe his week.

"Celestia, we have a problem. I just came from the Canterlot gardens, and I'm afraid that Discord's getting loose."

Celestia's eyes widened in shock before she regained her composure, "Are you sure?"

"Deadly."

She sighed, "I will contacts the girls, only the 'Elements' can stop him again."

Celestia used her magic and brought up a quill and a parchment. She immediately began writing, ignoring The Forgemaster's pleas to write the letter himself.

"Damnit Celestia, all you need to do is write, 'Get your asses down here, all of you, rapido!'."

Celestia rose a single brow at him, but continued writing.

After a few more moments, the letter was done and sent to Twilight.

"And now, we wait."

The Forgemaster grumbled, muttering, "In my day if you had to wait for something then something was wrong. This demon is going to give me a headache, I can feel it now."

wWwWwWw

Celestia was pacing on the landing of a set of stairs, while The Forgemaster was lazing about at the bottom of the steps in human form, as there were no guards nearby. Apparently, Celestia paces when worried, but The Forgemaster lazes when worried, if he even was worried, it was hard to tell. They had both been in the room ever since Celestia said that they had to wait for the girls, a move that was completely anathema to The Forgemaster's usual manner of finding whatever caused him grief, and killing it. The Forgemaster had even recovered from his bad mood after dealing with that obnoxious fool Blueblood. Thankfully, the wait wasn't too long as the girls they were waiting for slammed the door open and ran into the room.

Twilight was leading the pack, "Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could!"

"Not fast enough, I was waiting for almost 15 minutes, damnit! Also, not even a hello? What the hell?" The Forgemaster gets snippy when grumpy

As Twilight glared at him, Celestia decided to be diplomatic, "Thank you, Twilight. Thank you all."

"Is this about the weather? And the animals' weird behavior? What's happening out there? Why isn't my magic working? Is there–"

Celestia raised a hoof to stop Twilight's jabbering, but The Forgemaster took a different tact to reach the same goal.

"Shut the fuck up, Twilight. God damn, give the mare a chance to explain."

Twilight glared at him even more, "She is Princess Celestia, and you will address her-"

"However I want, up till the point she tells me to stop. Now quit arguing with me, we got some serious stuff to tell you 6."

Celestia nodded, and waved them towards her, "Follow me."

The 6 ran up the steps as The Forgemaster stood, cracking his back. The noise appeared to either scare the 6, or completely gross them out as they stopped to stare at him.

"I know that you all are dying to know about human anatomy later, but we can discuss that later, in private for you Dashie, "He winked at her, making her giggle,"But for now we need to follow the head honcho."

He stepped up the stairs to follow Celestia, with the girls right behind him. Soon enough, they were walking down a long, long hallway filled with beautiful stain glass windows, each depicting a certain achievement, event, or some other occasion.

As they walked down the hall, The Forgemaster was making humorous comments on the different windows they passed, the jokes made more accurate because Celestia had been there and he had her memories. He even got a laugh out of Celestia once or twice.

He had just made the comment on whether or not the hallway had a window depicting Celestia's first birthday party when Celestia stopped them.

"I've called you here for a matter of great importance. It seems an old foe of mine, someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned. His name... is Discord."

Fluttershy had gone off to the side and stood under a window depicting the very same creature that Celestia had just named, making her squeal and run behind Twilight. The Forgemaster cooed at the sight and picked up Fluttershy, giving her a hug saying something along the lines of, 'She's so adorable!'

"Discord is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my sister and I stood up to him, he ruled Equestria in an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness. Luna and I saw how miserable life was for Earth ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns alike, so after discovering the Elements of Harmony, we combined our powers and rose up against him, turning him to stone."

Rainbow was happy at the telling of the story, even though the actual complete retelling was far, far more… upsetting.

"Alright princess!" she said.

The group continued down the hallway, with Fluttershy safely tucked away in The Forgemaster's grip. She was smiling happily at the treatment.

"I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever but since Luna and I are no longer connected to the elements, the spell has been broken."

"No longer connected?" Twilight asked.

The Forgemaster stepped in, "Yeah, you lot are now. I thought that was kind of obvious, to be honest." He scratched his chin in thought.

The girls acquired sheepish looks on their faces when he explained that to them. Now that they thought about it, it was pretty obvious.

Celestia was taking the group to the end of the hallway, where a large metal vault was located.

"This is Canterlot Tower, where the Elements are kept inside since all of you recovered them. I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord before he thrusts all of Equestria into eternal chaos."

Pinkie Pie zipped away as Twilight asked, "But why us? Why don't you-"

"Hey, look! We're famous!"

Twilight was interrupted by Pinkie Pie who was standing underneath a window showing the 6 present mares, The Forgemaster, and Nightmare Moon. The 6 mares had beams of pink blasting at the Nightmare while he was holding her in place with large claws ejecting from his hands. Thankfully, he had clothes on in this window. If he ever had to tell the story anywhere near this particular window, some questions and discrepancies in the story might need changing.

'Ah… good times.' He thought, 'I should really find an excuse to use those claws more often…'

"You six showed the full potential of the elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe. Although Luna and I once wielded the elements, it is you who now control their power, and it is you who must defeat Discord." Said Celestia as the group looked the stained glass up and down.

The group of mares appeared to think for a moment, but Twilight began to speak for the group, "Princess Celestia, you can count on–"

Pinkie burst into the scene, "Hold on a second! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys. Chocolate rain!" Pinkie's eyes appeared to bulge from her skull slightly.

Twilight ran over to Celestia and whispered, "Don't listen to her, Princess. We'd be honored to use the Elements of Harmony again."

The Forgemaster sniffed in mock sadness, "I don't get an element…"

Celestia and the others looked at him, Celestia in exasperation and the girls in slight pity, as though they didn't notice the sarcasm.

He continued, "Screw it. I'll make my own: hugely powerful magical artifacts are my specialty, after all." He scratched his chin, "I think I'll name it 'The Element of Badassedry'."

He laughed at the indignant look on Twilight's face, and the others laughed along with him, now satisfied that he was joking.

Celestia rolled her eyes and went over to the vault. She stuck her horn into the slot and, ignoring The Forgemaster's soft cry of 'Ooo, dirty', charged a spell through it, making the door light up with blue lights. The door took a moment, but then opened in a bright flash of light. The open door revealed a single, gem encrusted case.

"Ooh. You can keep the Elements. I'll take that case!" declared Rarity.

"Hey Celestia, how well would that work during sex?" said The Forgemaster at approximately the same time as Rarity.

The girls all blushed a deep red, except for Rainbow who grinned as though she liked the idea. Celestia rolled her eyes at him and ignored the question.

The Forgemaster then reached and dragged Rainbow to his side, saying, "I guess I'll have to figure that out for myself…"

This caused them all to blush and look away, even Celestia. Fluttershy was hiding behind her mane and squealing slightly.

The couple laughed at the awkward moment he had caused, evidently Rainbow had no qualms about joking with others about sex, though the others probably didn't share her sentiment. He, on the other hand, was happy that he had found someone who wasn't afraid of flaunting her sexuality. A vast change from girls he had once known.

After a few moments of helpless embarrassment and a round of laughter from the couple, Celestia regained control of the situation, "Have no fear, ponies. I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord with these!"

Celestia used her magic to levitate the beautiful case from inside and opened it, revealing to all of the ponies that the box was, in fact, empty. The girls all gasped, previous awkwardness erased in the face of this new development. Celestia dropped the case in her shock. They all stood slack-jawed at the box. Pinkie, however, was happy with the development.

"Oh, well. If anyone needs me, I'll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw."

The Forgemaster spoke, "Well… looks like we're doing this the old-fashioned way. My favorite!"

He drew his sword, 'War, Eternal', and began to sharpen it with the whetting stone he carried on his person at all times.

This continued for several minutes before the grating sound managed to snap the ponies out of their funk.

Twilight stated the obvious, "The elements! They're gone!"

"No shit, Captain Obvious." He said, earning a glare from Twilight

Celestia, on the other hand, had resumed her pacing from earlier, "That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break! This doesn't make sense!"

A chuckle was heard that seemed to come from everywhere at once. The Forgemaster was immediately on his feet, holding sword in a combat stance.

"Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?" said the dark voice, undoubtedly Discord.

Celestia seemed to be thinking the same thoughts as The Forgemaster was, "Discord... Show yourself!"

The chuckling rang out again.

"Did you miss me, Celestia? I missed you. It's quite lonely being encased in stone, but you wouldn't know that, would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone."

Discord appeared in the form of a stained glass window figure, and began to travel amongst the various windows. The Forgemaster conjured flame into his left hand, preparing to let out a fireball at the demon at any moment.

"Enough! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?" Celestia was angry.

"Oh, I just borrowed them for a teensy little while." The demon said in response, now occupying another window, with a flick of his wrists he made the Elements of Harmony in his window disappear.

Celestia pawed the ground as though preparing for a charge, "You'll never get away with this, Discord!"

"Oh, I'd forgotten how grim you can be, Celestia. It's really quite boring."

Rainbow bristled at that, "Hey! Nopony insults the Princess!"

Rainbow then charged at the window. When she hit it, Discord disappeared, before reappearing the moment after Rainbow had impacted the window, not even making a crack.

"Oh, you must be Rainbow Dash, famed for her loyalty, the Element of Harmony you represent."

"That's right! I'll always be loyal to the Princess!" Rainbow said in response.

The demon disappeared, saying, "We'll see about that."

Rarity spoke up in distaste, "I can't believe we're wasting our time talking to a tacky window."

"The beautiful Rarity, representing the element of generosity, if I'm not mistaken?"

Applejack intervened, "So you know who we are, big deal."

Discord grew in size, "Oh, I know much more than that, honest Applejack."

Twilight chimed in, "You seem to know our strengths, too?"

"Yes, Twilight Sparkle, and yours is the most powerful and elusive element, magic. Fluttershy's is kindness and Pinkie Pie's is a personal favorite of mine - laughter."

Fluttershy grew scared that Discord knew about her. Pinkie appeared to be holding back a laugh with her hoof, which Twilight noticed.

"Pinkie!" she yelled in disapproval.

She laughed before saying, "He's standing on your head!"

The Forgemaster looked, and she was telling the truth; Discord was doing the moon walk on Twilight's head.

The demon began speaking again, "Ah, but who are you? Oh yes, you are a mystery… Some days you are a pony, and some days you are a human. Which do you prefer, The Forgemaster or Crimson Hammer?" he asked before laughing again.

The window Discord had been occupying was suddenly shattered by a powerful fireball that left Te Forgemaster smoking hands.

Discord appeared in another window, and looked in mock concern at the destroyed window, "My, my, quite the temper we have, don't we?"

"I refuse to listen to the lies of demons. Prepare for extermination under code 12a, subsection 78, referring to the destruction of all demons without a master." The Forgemaster readied another fireball in his hand.

"Hmm? Me, a demon? Don't make me laugh." Discord then proceeded to laugh uproariously.

The window he occupied was shattered again by another fireball.

"Stop stalling, Discord! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?" Celestia yelled out.

"Oh, so boring, Celestia. Really? Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way. To retrieve your missing elements just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began."

As Discord was speaking, the various windows he went traveling through were being destroyed as quickly as Discord traveled through them by The Forgemaster who unleashed fireball after fireball at the demon.

Fluttershy spoke for the first time since arriving at the castle, "Can we go home now?"

Applejack asked an important question, "What do you reckon he meant? Twists and turns and ending back where we started?"

Twilight went to the window repeating part of the riddle under her breath, "Twists and turns... twists and turns... twists and turns! That's it! I bet Discord hid the elements in the palace labyrinth!"

"Bull shit! He said that we'll find the elements where we began. That's Ponyville for you 6."

Twilight shook her head at him, "No, didn't you hear the riddle?"

"No, I didn't that's why I quoted the riddle to prove my point."

"He said, 'Twists and turns' that obviously means the labyrinth!"

"Gods damn it, I have met riddlers before: the cardinal rule of riddles is that you have a bunch of useless information to disguise the things you need to know to solve the riddle, Twilight!"

Twilight glared a death-glare at him and said, "We are going into the labyrinth, and that's final."

The Forgemaster sighed and put a hand to his face, slowly rubbing his forehead with thumb and forefinger, "You're wrong, Twilight. I know this for a fact. But, if you're so adamant on wasting my, and your, time, I might as well come along to make sure you don't die, or something."

Celestia nodded towards him in thanks, "Good luck, my little ponies. The fate of Equestria is in your hooves."

"Thanks, Princess. We won't let you down." Twilight replied.

The Forgemaster followed after them, groaning quite loudly.

wWwWwWw

The group went out the side doors of the palace, and went to the palace labyrinth.

The Forgemaster was muttering something about how much better his labyrinth was than this one, but the others didn't hear him quite clearly.

As the group approached the large entranceway, a positively shivering Fluttershy asked, "W-We have to go in there?"

"Nope! Dopey Discord forgot about these babies! I'll just do a quick flyover and we'll have the Elements in no time." Rainbow flew up into the air, after no more than an instant of flying, her wings disappeared into a bright light and Rainbow fell to earth, "My wings!" Rainbow yelled as she noticed her vanished wings.

Fluttershy too lost her wings, and the unicorns present lost their horns.

It was actually quite entertaining to The Forgemaster, and he was chuckling under his breath, especially when Rarity and Twilight yelled at the same time, "Your horn! My horn!" and then squealed like a bunch of school girls.

The Forgemaster was standing next to Applejack and Pinkie Pie when his wings disappeared. The 2 earth ponies with bored expressions, obviously thinking that he was going to freak out like the others had.

He just shrugged and said, "I didn't need 'em anyway."

After a few moments of the girls squealing, Discord interrupted them by appearing in a flash of green light, accompanied by a loud noise. Discord reared his head back and laughed as lightning flashed in the background.

Discord ruined the evil impression by saying, "You- you should see the looks on your faces! Priceless!" he then laughed some more.

Twilight yelled at the beast, "Give us our wings and horns back!"

The Forgemaster spoke up, "Keep 'em, I was comfortable with them anyways."

Discord laughed uproariously when he said that, but said while moving throughout the group and invading personal space, "You'll get them back in good time. I simply took them to ensure there's no cheating. You see, this is the first rule of our game: no flying, and no magic."

Discord backed off when The Forgemaster took a swing at him with his sword.

"The first rule?" asked Rainbow, heavy emphasis on the 'first'.

Discord teleported and lounged in the crook of a hedge, "The second rule is everypony has to play or the game is over, and I win."

Discord then played with his fingers in an evil manner before springing up and screaming, "Good luck, everypony!" and teleporting away.

The Forgemaster perked up and said, "Good luck girls, I'll be in Ponyville."

He began to walk away with the girls staring at his back.

He hadn't taken more than a dozen steps before Discord yelled out, "No! You're breaking the second rule!"

The Forgemaster, in the calmest voice possible, said in return, "You said everypony must play, I am not a pony: I am exempt from the rules you have put forward. I am leaving."

"No! You have to play!"

"Discord… demon, if you can change the rules whenever you want then the game isn't going to be fun."

Discord seemed to think for a moment, "That's true." He then began to laugh very hard.

Discord laughed for a few moments, but after a while stopped, wiping a very real tear from his eye, Discord asked, "But won't you please play?"

"Fine." He leaned in towards Discord, who leaned towards him as well, and whispered, "But just for the girls, but don't tell them that."

Discord laughed once more, and agreed before disappearing once more.

He walked back towards the group which was gathering in the entrance to the labyrinth.

As he approached, Rainbow asked, "I thought you got out of this?"

"I did, but I asked to play instead." He said to her.

She gave him a confused look, but nodded. Twilight gathered the group to take the plunge into the maze.

"Never fear, girls. We have each other!"

"I'm still not a girl." The Forgemaster said, ineffectually.

"Yeah! Like Twilight said, there's nothing we can't overcome if we all stick together!"

Twilight walked the group towards the maze entrance, "All right, girls, let's do this!"

Under his breath, The Forgemaster said, "Damn you Twilight."

The group all took a single step forward, and all except the only male present said, "Together!"

As soon as their hooves, or foot, hit the earth, hedges grew in between the members of the group, separating them from the others.

After a moment of all-female shrieking, Twilight said, "Stay calm, girls! Everypony head to the middle as fast as you can, and we'll regroup there!"

As the ponies gave various forms of accent, a loud voice came from far deeper in the maze, "If you're wondering why I'm not responding: it's because I am a male, damnit! Also; this is a bloody maze! You can't make a plan on where you are going to all regroup at; it's a fucking maze for gods' sake!"

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster was on a trek through the maze, as the others were. His, however, was marginally easier for him to take. He had been in labyrinths before, hell: he had made the world's finest! Then again, it did have a monster in it… nevertheless; any labyrinth to him simultaneously brings up old memories and a form of nostalgia.

The Forgemaster was contemplating just how the demon would plan on getting to him, and steeled his mind to any attack. He locked down his mind as best he could, making it as a fortress. He wasn't sure whether or not the demon would attack his mind, or merely utilize physical illusions: but it is best to be prepared.

Finally, after several minutes of walking, he stumbled upon a large open field within the maze, with a single bench in the center of it. Knowing the trap for what it was, The Forgemaster continued to the exit of this area as fast as possible, not even glancing at the illusions presented to him.

Apparently, the demon didn't know what made him tick, and The Forgemaster wasn't about to divulge that information. He knew that the demon didn't understand him because the various illusions around him had a wide variety. He was sure that the others' traps were more specific. He could tell that Discord didn't understand him by the fact that Discord was telling him that.

"Hmm, what makes you tick? Is it loyalty? No. Kindness? Hay no! Generosity, laughter, honesty… no, no, and no! Magic? Hmm, maybe. Hahahaha! I'll find out soon enough, human."

There were illusions all around him, some with death, some with fun, some with friends, some with other humans praising him as a hero, others with ponies doing the same. Though, the humans didn't look quite right, probably because the demon only had one template to work from and didn't understand that human women are structured differently than men. The various humans that tried to get him to stop all looked eerily similar to him in some ways.

But, there was one vision that gave him pause, just for an instant before he turned away from the illusion, but a pause there was. It was a vision of an older Rainbow Dash and him as a pony snuggled up next to each other on a park bench, 3 young foals playing in front of them as the couple looked on proudly, each with traits from their parents. 2 colts, 1 filly, 1 had a black mane while the other 2 had rainbow manes, 1 was a light blue color, 1 was a dark red, and 1 was a purplish combination of the 2. Truly, for a moment it made his heart ache. He ignored the feeling and continued his stalwart march out of the death-trap.

As he took a step out of the open area, he was confronted by a snarling grey Fluttershy, a smirking grey Applejack, a struggling grey Rarity carrying a large stone boulder, an upset grey Pinkie Pie, and a worried normal-colored Twilight.

"Oh, Forgemaster, it's so good to see you: the others have been acting strangely." Twilight said as a greeting.

He blinked owlishly at her for a moment, before turning his attention to the others, "Twilight, look closely at them: do you see anything different?" he pointed at the other 4.

Twilight blinked once or twice before doing as he asked, she turned back and said, "No, they look normal to me."

He groaned, "Maybe that's why I never see grey in pony architecture: maybe ponies literally can't see the color grey…"

Twilight looked at him in confusion, "We can see the color grey; we just don't like to use it because it's so bland and lifeless…"

He pointed at the others, "Then how can't you see… you know what? Forget it. If you can't see it, then you never will. I'm totally going to skin Discord alive, though."

They began to wander aimlessly for a few more minutes, somehow Twilight managed to begin carrying the boulder instead of Rarity.

Twilight was chanting under her breath, "Must… find… Rainbow Dash. As a team... we're unstoppable. Rainbow Dash won't let us down."

Applejack stopped and pointed up at the sky, "Well, looky there. Rainbow Dash is flying away. She's abandonin' us."

The Forgemaster looked up and noticed that what Applejack had said was true, which came as a surprise, to be honest, Applejack rarely spoke the truth anymore. The Forgemaster noticed the grey coloring on the normally blue mare and sighed, the demon had gotten to her too.

Apparently, Discord had made them into the opposite of their element type. Fluttershy was a bitch.

'Wow, never thought that I'd ever say those 2 words in the same sentence.' He thought.

Rarity was an aggressive boulder hoarder, Applejack was lying a lot, and doing a terrible job at it by the way, and Pinkie was snapping at anything that so much as chuckled.

Twilight looked up and said, "Now I know that's a lie." She then noticed Rainbow flying away and gasped, "How can it be?"

Suddenly, a large thunderstorm appeared and thunder and lightning filled the air. Then, the entirety of the labyrinth fell into the dirt, creating a massive crater for some reason. It is rare to find a maze that goes underground, but he knew for a fact that this maze was all above-ground… so why did it make a crater? A question to be answered another day, it seems, because Discord flew out of a large cloud of dust and was speaking.

"Well, well, well. Somepony broke the "no wings, no magic" rule." Discord snapped his fingers and with a bright flash of light, all those ponies that had their additional appendages taken from them had those selfsame appendages appear back on them, "Game's over, my little ponies. You didn't find your precious elements." Discord conjured up an umbrella and opened it, revealing that it was opposite of normal, "Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos!"

Discord then began to laugh evilly as lightning flashed behind him, cutting an imposing figure.

The laughing stopped when The Forgemaster blasted him with lightning of his own, with his outstretched palm smoking and his sword drawn; The Forgemaster looked ready for battle.

"C'mon, draconi-cunt. I will end your life right here and now!"

Discord just stared at him for a few moments, absently rubbing his smoking forehead: The Forgemaster had quite the aim with magic. Suddenly, the unpredictable demon just laughed some more again, making The Forgemaster's instincts scream to take his skull.

Pinkie interrupted him before he could kill the demon, "And what are you laughing at?"

Discord wiped away another very real tear from his eye, "Ho, you ponies are just the most fun I've had in eons."

Pinkie got in his face quite rapidly, "Well, quit it! You'd better think before you laugh at the Pink...ie Pie!"

Fluttershy took that as a challenge, "Oh yeah? Well ha, ha."

"Quit it!"

"No. Ha, ha." Fluttershy said again, curtly laughing exactly twice.

"Quit it!" Pinkie was getting furiously mad now.

"No. Ha ha-ha ha ha." Fluttershy continued to bait Pinkie.

The Forgemaster rubbed his forehead and groaned, "You lot are acting like children."

After a conversation that The Forgemaster couldn't make out, Rarity ninja-kicked Applejack and began to fight her up and down the crater.

"Girls, why are you all acting like this? We need to stick together." Twilight said, trying to piece the team back together.

"Do you really not know, or are you blind to the facts?" asked The Forgemaster.

Discord conjured movie theater seating and was eating popcorn in it, he was also laughing quite loudly, "It's just too entertaining."

"Stop it, Discord. You're not playing fair." Twilight said, confronting the demon about playing fair instead of killing it.

"I'm not playing fair? Perhaps we haven't met. I'm Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony. Hello?" Discord said in response.

"He's right, Twilight, that was a pretty stupid question."

"Shut up, you're supposed to be on my side!" She then pointed at Discord, "And you, how are we supposed to find the Elements of Harmony when you took away the labyrinth before we could get to the end?"

Discord actually looked perplexed for a moment, "Oh, wait, did you...?" he barked out a laugh, "How funny! You thought the Elements were in the labyrinth?" Discord took her and teleported away for a moment, coming back not 2 seconds later with Discord whispering into Twilight's ear, "I never said they were in the labyrinth."

"But...but..." Twilight mumbled.

Discord said, "Keep trying, Twilight Sparkle. Maybe the magic of friendship can help you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some chaos to reek."

Discord then teleported away, probably to do the very thing he had promised to do.

The Forgemaster said to Twilight, "I told you where they were: Ponyville. Yet you ignored me. I find that people who ignore my advice either die, or come to listen to my advice after."

The other ponies were getting into an argument in the background, while Twilight was having a moment of revelation.

The Forgemaster looked at her and said, "Get this lot back to Ponyville. I have to go get some anti-demon weaponry from my place."

He teleported to Ponyville while Twilight was saying, "The Elements are in Ponyville! C'mon girls!"

The Forgemaster warped into his home, which was mercifully free of any of Discord's nonsense. Likely because of the runes he put around the house to give the laws of physics more of a foothold. Originally intended to keep Pinkie out of his house without his permission, it seemed to work equally well on Discord.

The Forgemaster opened the door to his armory and quickly picked up the one thing he was sure would damage the beast, and kill any other lesser demon. He had recently re-forged it into Equestria. It was a personal gift from one of the more popular gods back home. It was one of the weapons he had given one of his servants, and when The Forgemaster had assisted in a battle that that god was going to lose, giving him the edge needed to win no less, that god had given the blade to him.

It was the sword of the Archangel Gabriel.

It's always nice when people have a monotheistic religion, instead of a pantheon. That means that the one god gets all the benefits of having all of the people worshiping him, instead of having the power gained be dispersed amongst more than one god. This made monotheistic gods very, very powerful.

As he was inside his home, he noticed that the sun and the moon were switching places every 25 seconds or so. He hooked the holy blade to his belt and went to the library, certain that the other 6 ponies would be there.

He arrived just as Twilight was screaming at the other 4 ponies present, "Get back! All of you! This is my book. And I'm going to READ IT!"

"Jesus, woman. Read your damn book and quit it with the yelling."

He approached the group and sat down next to Spike, who was standing on guard next to Twilight.

Twilight glared at him, but then opened the book, she gasped as she found all 6 of the Elements of Harmony inside the hollowed out book.

The Forgemaster leaned over her shoulder to see what she was gasping at, "You gotta be shitting me. Discord can't hide Elements worth shit."

"The Elements!" Twilight yelled.

"I already said that, Twilight."

Spike ran up, saying "This is great! Now you guys can defeat Discord and put everything back to normal!"

Twilight and Spike ran towards the other girls, who were lazing about in a manner reminiscent of him, "See girls? We did it! We found the Elements of Harmony! Together!"

"Damnit, I am a man! I have a penis! I have testicles! My muscles and bones are slightly denser than yours. Quit calling me a girl!"

Twilight seemed to ignore him, till he poked her in the nose, saying, "Quit it!"

"Okay, fine, jeez…"

Twilight looked back at the group of ponies, none of them had even moved, "You don't even care, do you?" she asked.

They all replied simultaneously, "No!"

Twilight sighed, "I never thought it would happen. My friends... have turned into complete JERKS!"

Twilight then passed out the group of Elements forcefully and with the aid of magic, saying, "Necklace! Necklace! Necklace! Necklace! And big crown thingy! Come on everypony, let's go!"

Spike came forward with a very interesting observation, "But Twilight, aren't you missing somepony?"

"Nope. We've got the liar, the grump, the hoarder, the brute, and the human. That just about covers it." Twilight said, pointing to each member of the group.

"But what about Rainbow Dash?" asked Spike.

Twilight thought for a moment before grinning, "Congratulations Spike, you're the new Rainbow Dash. Now let's go!"

The Forgemaster said to spike, deadpanning, "Rainbow Dash, I would like to break up with you. I am not interested in members of my own gender."

The Forgemaster then walked away, leaving a befuddled Spike behind him, who caught up with Twilight after a moment.

"B-b-but what if she finds out I've been impersonating her? That won't end well." He complained.

"Too bad, you're Rainbow Dash. Now let's go defeat Discord so we don't ever have to talk to each other again!" Twilight ran out the door, with all of the others following behind her.

Rarity was trying to bring her boulder with her, so The Forgemaster just picked it up and threw it through the window. It crashed outside next to the others. When he went outside with Spike to join the others, they found that Discord was there waiting for them.

"Well, well, well, I see you've found the Elements of Harmony. How terrifying!" Discord said, clearly mocking them.

"Discord! I've figured out your lame riddle. You're in for it now!"

"I certainly am. You've clearly out-dueled me, and now it's time to meet my fate. I'm prepared to be defeated now, ladies. Fire when ready." Discord put a target over his body.

Discord dodged when The Forgemaster threw a fireball at him, "Hey! That's not the Elements, no fair!"

"All is fair in love and war!" yelled The Forgemaster.

Twilight tried to get the others into position to fire the Elements, they did so but barely. When Twilight tried to use them, it failed drastically, and they all fell to the ground.

"Ugh, we'll do this the old-fashioned way then! Feel my blade demon!" screamed The Forgemaster as he dove in for the kill.

His blade glowed white in the face of demons, as it always does.

He aimed a slash at Discord's wing, though the demon dodged. The demon laughed at him while he continuously threw slashes at the beast. Just one hit and the holy energy in the blade will purge Discord's soul of… well… pretty much everything, really.

Discord kept on dodging, until suddenly he teleported away. The Forgemaster found him no more than 12 paces away, completely covered in plate armor and wielding a large sword and shield.

The Forgemaster ran straight at Discord, yelling, "Demons and heretics will fall by my hand!" as he did so.

Discord blocked his first thrust with his shield, and counter attacked with his sword. The Forgemaster was fortunate enough to have the good sense to put his clawed gauntlets on back at his house, and used them to block Discord's attack. With his right hand wielding a holy blade, his left hand ejecting claws, and his eyes burning with fury The Forgemaster looked, and was, ready to kill.

The Forgemaster aimed a kick at the demon, who disengaged before it could connect. Following up on his advantage, The Forgemaster slashed low with his blade, trying to cut Discord's legs off. Discord merely teleported away again, this time appearing behind The Forgemaster. The Forgemaster swung left with his claws, and simultaneously dodged the thrust that Discord planned on putting into his spine. He managed to clip Discord's skull with his claws in the exchange of blows.

Discord hissed in pain and backed off slightly. The Forgemaster then rained blow after blow onto the demon's shield with his sword, as the demon hid behind it, he left huge gashes on the thick metal, though it still managed to keep back the barrage.

The entire time this fight was happening, The Forgemaster was yelling battle-cries that would scare a 20 year veteran of war right out of their boots.

Things like, "I'll rip your arms off and beat you senseless with them!", or "Let's see what your innards look like, demon!", and "I'm going to make Discord-skin boots out of you!",or "I will drink your blood and eat your bones!", and The Forgemaster's favorite, "Burn, maim, purge, kill!" which was repeated over and over again in a chant.

For his part, Discord mainly laughed at The Forgemaster, which only served to fuel his wrath.

These 2 titans of battle continued their duel for several minutes, neither tiring, and neither backing down. One armed with holy wrath, the other armed with chaos and disharmony.

Eventually, however, the 6 'Elements' showed up to help. Rainbow Dash was there with them, and they all appeared to be their normal colors. Applejack was even holding Rainbow back from joining in the fight.

Discord decided to start up a conversation with those 6, even though he was in the middle of a life-or-death duel with a most formidable opponent.

"Isn't Chaos is a wonderful, wonderful thing?" Discord said, trying, and failing, to bash The Forgemaster with his shield.

"Not as wonderful as friendship." said Twilight while The Forgemaster tried to stab Discord's eyes out with his sword.

"Or your head on a pike, demon!" The Forgemaster yelled out, voice full of malice and anger, sounding as demonic as the demon he was fighting actually was.

The other backed away slightly at the way his voice sounded.

"She's right. You couldn't break apart our friendship for long!" said Applejack as Discord kicked The Forgemaster in the chest but only received a slash on the leg in return.

"Oh, Applejack, don't lie to me. I'm the one who made you a liar. Will you ever learn?" Discord then laughed and dodged a swipe from The Forgemaster.

"I'll tell you what we've learned Discord. We've learned that friendship isn't always easy. But there's no doubt it's worth fighting for." Twilight gave her little speech while the pair traded numerous blows.

"Your blood too, demon! I'm willing to fight for a taste of that!" The Forgemaster then cackled madly.

The ponies were getting scared at the way their friend was acting, but fought through that and got into position to use their 'Elements'.

"Fine, go ahead, try and use your little Elements. Just make it quick, I'm a little busy here." Discord then aimed another slash at The Forgemaster.

Unfortunately for Discord, The Forgemaster caught it. He grabbed the blade with his armored gauntlet and drew the demon in close. The Forgemaster then took the demon in a large bear-hug, crushing Discord and trapping him within his grasp. The Forgemaster wrapped all of his limbs around Discord, and began to apply pressure to the damnable fiend. The plate armor Discord wore soon cracked under the pressure being exerted.

"Shoot the bloody thing! Now!" yelled The Forgemaster as he grappled with his slippery opponent, who was yelling out in pain over the treatment.

The 6 mares' eyes turned bright, white and they levitated into the air. After a moment, a large rainbow burst from the 6 and traveled straight towards the grappling opponents. As the rainbow hit Discord, a loud explosion ensued. The blast threw The Forgemaster off of the demon and threw him into the sky. However, Discord was being turned to stone once more.

The Forgemaster managed to right himself in the air before he became a paste on the ground. He flew back down to the group of ponies who had gathered about Discord's statue. The Forgemaster took one look at it, spit at it, and then walked away.

The Forgemaster was confused. The actions of Discord do not at all reflect Celestia's memories of how he should have acted. That was the reason he had responded with violence, he had 'first hand' knowledge of just what was going to happen if Discord went free. But he was wrong. Everything Discord tried was low-scale, smaller than usual.... weak. He thought on it for a while and came to a realization.

Discord was severely weakened by his time in the stone prison.

He knew that he wasn't going to last much longer.

He knew that he was dying.

He wanted to go out with at least a little more fun in his life.

Discord used most of his power resisting the prison, and even more getting out. He was too weak to regenerate his own power without severe amounts of chaos.

He couldn't break the hold that 'Harmony' had on the planet.

He just wanted one last hurrah before he passed.

…

He could respect that.

wWwWwWw

Celestia decided to reward the '6 heroes' with a celebration. The entire throne room was packed full of happy ponies. All of them had gathered to cheer for their heroes. The 6 mares walked down a red carpet to the sound of trumpets, with Celestia and a bandaged 'Crimson Hammer' waiting at the end. As the 6 stopped in front of Celestia, she began to speak.

"We are gathered here today to once again honor the heroism of these six friends who stood up to the villain Discord and saved Equestria from eternal chaos."

Celestia channeled some magic into her horn and unveiled another stained glass window depicting the 6 mares with their Elements defeating Discord.

The large red alicorn that was also occupying the dais spoke to the 6 ponies, "I think you lot did a pretty good job." He then whispered, only for them and the princess to hear, "That was really, really sloppy though." earning glares and looks of indignation from the ponies.

The ponies all cheered and the 6 heroes stood on top of the dais for a few moments, basking in the cheers of their fellows, before withdrawing to a room located behind the throne. As it turns out, the room was a banquet hall and it had 9 places all set and ready to eat at. They found Princess Luna there occupying one of the seats already.

All those present quickly found a seat at the table. As it turned out, The Forgemaster got into a seat directly across from Princess Luna and right next to Rainbow Dash. All those present immediately began to eat.

"I was wondering where you had gone, Luna, I haven't seen you around in a while." The Forgemaster remarked to the night princess.

Luna looked at him strangely for a moment, "We're sorry, but we do not know who you are."

"Ah, the royal 'we', it's been a while since I've heard that one, you don't have to use it in front of these ponies, you know. You may know me better as The Forgemaster."

Luna looked him up and down, "Ah, a transformation spell. Good job, too. If you hadn't told us, I mean, me then I wouldn't have known the difference. And as for where we were, well, we were mainly just learning about modern day Equestria… the transition has been quite difficult."

"I'm sure that you'll get used to it in time."

She sniffed,"Maybe…" she then eyed him closer, as though something were wrong, "Wait, you're an alicorn!"

"Yep!" he said happily back to her.

"But I heard that a red alicorn had taken command of the Royal Guard… that isn't you, is it?" the others seemed to have taken an interest in the conversation.

"Yep!" he said in the exact same way.

"How?"

"I asked Auntie Tia!" he then started to laugh at his own personal joke, though no one joined in with him, mostly they were confused.

"Auntie Tia?" Luna repeated slowly.

"Yeah, that's her at the end of the table." He pointed down the table towards Celestia.

"Let me tell you the story of how I became the Lord-general of the Royal Guards. A long time ago, there was a pony named Crimson Hammer…"

When The Forgemaster tells a story; you get the exact story, verbatim. But when The Forgemaster tells an embellished story, all of a sudden that quick trip to the park with your parents on a hot summer's day becomes a tale of intrigue, espionage, and sudden attacks by dragons. Suffice to say, the ponies were entranced. Even Celestia listened to the story, even though she was there when it happened and knew every word to be a lie or an exaggeration.

The Forgemaster ended his entrancing story by saying, "And that's how Commander Shepherd defeated the 'Reapers'."

The Forgemaster then ate from the food on his plate before the ponies present could get over their confusion over what he had just said. They had been mystified, but now they were just confused; except for Pinkie, who noticed a tactic she used often and was giggling.

The meal continued from there, The Forgemaster refused to tell anymore stories, however, much to the displeasure of those present.

Celestia offered to let the 6 'Elements' as well as The Forgemaster stay for the night. The 6 mares almost squealed in delight when Celestia announced that.

After several more minutes of eating and talking and telling stories, night had fallen, with Luna's aid, and the party was winding down.

When The Forgemaster stood from his position at the table, he announced that he was going to retire for the evening. When he turned to leave, however, he noticed the look that Rainbow was giving him. It was a look of hunger, which was strange considering she had just eaten… wait.

He held his hoof out towards the cyan pegasus, "Rainbow Dash, may I escort you to your room for the evening?"

She smirked and said, "Hay yes!" she placed her hoof on his and was assisted to her feet.

"Alright, lead the way, Dashie!"

And the 2 walked away from the dinner party and to Rainbow's room for a late night dessert.

(A/N – Don't think that just because I did the Discord episode that any of the season 1 episodes are not going to be done, they will. Eventually.)

Chapter 54

When The Forgemaster groggily awoke the next morning, his first thought was one that every man experiences at least once in their lifetime.

'Why are my balls sore?' he thought.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes with a hoof, trying to rouse himself to a higher level of awareness. He sat up on the bed, and it was at that moment he realized that he wasn't alone on the bed. He turned his head around to see Rainbow Dash sleeping fitfully a few inches from his nose.

He chuckled to himself, and then thought, 'That's probably why…'

His question answered, he leaned over to her and kissed her on the cheek, the contact not waking her up. He then yawned and got out of bed. He took 3 steps towards the shower before he was stopped by a knock on the door. After checking to make sure that Dash hadn't woken from the noise, she hadn't, he went to the door and answered it. As the door opened, it revealed a slightly confused Shining Armor on the other side.

Shining Armor spoke first, "I'm sorry, sir, but I was told that this was Miss Dash's room-"

"Whatever gave you the impression that you were wrong?" The Forgemaster asked.

Shining Armor didn't respond for a moment, hesitantly, he took a look past The Forgemaster and into the room. He saw a sleeping Rainbow Dash in a dark room, only illuminated by the light spilling through the open door.

The Forgemaster spoke again, "If there is no immediate need to wake her, I suggest letting her sleep. She needs it after recent… exertions. As for me, I was planning on taking a shower before I was so rudely interrupted."

Shining Armor gave him a look and asked, "Are you and Miss Dash in a… relationship?"

The Forgemaster shook his head, "No, that's why we slept in the same room last night and the whole room smells like sex."

Shining Armor backed away from the door, but not before subconsciously taking a sniff. And, The Forgemaster was right: that ever so subtle combination of sweat and sexual pony pheromones positively littered the room.

Shining armor raised a brow and in a concerned voice, asked, "But, weren't you wounded, sir?"

He snorted, "I hardly think a few scrapes, cuts, and bruises would keep me out of bed with a beautiful mare. Is there anything that you needed, Captain?"

"N-no, sir. I just came by to tell Miss Dash that breakfast is served and that she and her friends are scheduled to be flown back to Ponyville by chariot at 3 PM, sir. And, I might as well tell you now that you have a meeting scheduled at the same time with some of the Equestrian military commanders. Apparently, they want to talk strategy with you… again. But before that Princess Celestia has requested your presence at breakfast."

He sighed, "Thank you for the warning, Shining Armor. You'll be present at the meeting too, yes?" At Shining Armor's nod, he continued, "Alright, I'll be there. Excuse me while I take a shower, now."

The Forgemaster promptly shut the door, leaving the good Captain on the other side to his own devices. He then did as he said he would, he took a shower. He let the warm water pound out all of the aches and sores on his body, before stepping out of the shower and redressing his wounds. He could always apply some accelerated healing to the wounds, but that would make the scars disappear faster. The Forgemaster always likes to keep a memento from his battles. The scars would fade on their own eventually, some sort of side-effect of being immortal, he guessed, scars rarely last longer than a decade before clearing away completely.

When he stepped out of the shower, he went over to Rainbow to wake her up. As it turned out, that is both easier and harder than what should be expected. He started by poking her and whispering her name, when that failed he gradually upgraded to full on shoves. Still, she didn't wake. He then decided to take a card out of an old friend of his' deck and leaned in and kissed her full on the lips.

With a small moan, she awoke in an instant. She immediately opened her eyes to see The Forgemaster not more than a few inches from her face, breaking away from a kiss.

She smiled a sultry smile and said in a seductive tone, "That was a nice way to wake up, but if you're going for broke, aim that muzzle of yours a little further south…"

He smiled back, "While I would like nothing more than to spend the day with you in bed, we are, unfortunately, required elsewhere. Come on, out of bed."

She groaned childishly and flung her blankets off. She then tried to heave herself off of the bed, but stumbled and hit the ground in a heap. She pushed herself up with her forelegs, but her hind legs remained where they were.

With some panic in her voice she said, "Oh buck! I can't move my hind legs!"

"Ha! I guess that horn thing of Celestia's worked better than I could've imagined…" Rainbow's face lit up at the memory, "You know… fingers aren't just good for foreplay, I think a massage might be in order, perhaps we could… stimulate some blood flow to the area."

She smirked, "You know just how to treat a mare, don't you?"

As he morphed into his human form, and flexed his fingers a few times, he said, "I like to think so… Now! Let's see what I can do for the lovely lady's numb hindquarters…"

wWwWwWw

After a pleasant, and intimate, moment, Rainbow was left with the complete use of her hind legs once more, much to her delight. Unfortunately for the 2, breakfast was being served and they needed to get to the dining room. When the ruler of Equestria beckons, you come… well, you do if you're sane, at least. The Forgemaster was accused of not being exactly sane once or twice, but not even he would pass up a free meal at a Princess's expense.

As The Forgemaster, as a pony, and Rainbow walked into the dining room, the first things that he noticed was the lack of guards, the presence of the other 'Elements' and Luna, and the delicious foods set upon the table. After giving a casual greeting to all at the table, he sat down at his seat and got ready to eat his meal. The Forgemaster eyed all of the other ponies sitting at the table, and waited until most of them were either chewing or drinking before making his move.

The Forgemaster smirked cheekily at Celestia and said, quite loudly, "So, Celestia. That horn trick that you showed us works great! Better than I could've hoped, actually. It was hard to get the old horn lined up right, but once we did,WOO, she was done in 10 seconds flat!"

Immediately 2 ponies were choking on their food and pounding their chests with their hooves, and 3 others were spurting out their drinks across the table, and all were blushing. Luna was looking around confused, as she didn't get the reference, and Rainbow was just laughing at her friends reactions and silently agreeing: it had worked wonders, after all. Pinkie was also giggling to herself, as nothing could faze her, apparently. After seeing the responses to his declaration, The Forgemaster laughed so hard as to cause the nearby stone and marble to quake, and after slapping the table with his undamaged hoof a few times in good humor, he accidentally cracked the heavy wooden table.

Ignoring the damaged table, he continued with his jokes, "I wonder what sorts of images would come to mind if a pony were to think of such an exquisite sexual position in the act?"

The blushes that immediately intensified on the still-choking ponies revealed that they had just then conjured images to mind that were… sexual in nature.

Rainbow Dash decided to join in on the teasing, "Don't knock to 'till you try it, girls! That was awesome! I couldn't even walk afterwards!"

The pair laughed and laughed at the ponies who were all trying to overcome their own embarrassment. Luna now apparently had an idea of what was going on, and chuckled in good humor along with the couple. The choking, giggling, and downright awkward moment caused by The Forgemaster and Rainbow Dash continued for a few minutes, before dying down in an awkward silence to last the ages.

Celestia was the one to break the oppressive silence, "That was unnecessary, Forgemaster."

He shook his head ruefully at her and said, "I just tried to tell you that your wonderful advice worked out great for us!"

"I did not need to know that." Huffed Rarity.

"Neither did Ah, t'be honest." Applejack agreed with her.

"Forgey! That was s~o funny when you made them all choke and gag and blush and-"

The Forgemaster cut her off, "Thank you Pinkie, your approval is noted."

Pinkie Pie got a sly grin on her face as she asked, "Oh, so it's just 'Pinkie' now, is it?"

The Forgemaster furrowed his brow in thought for a few moments before looking back at her and saying, "Yes, I suppose it is. Congratulations, Pinkie, you're number 5."

As Pinkie screamed, "YES!" and pumped her hoof, Twilight asked, "Wait, number 5? What do you mean?"

"She's the fifth one here that I call by something other than their entire name. There's Dashie, Twilight, Tia, Luna, and now Pinkie." He said, counting off in his head.

All of the ponies mentioned brightened when he said their name, except for Twilight, who looked… incredibly angry.

Breathing hard, she forced out in a harsh voice, "TIA!"

He smirked, knowing where this was going, so he leaned in and asked Twilight the same thing he asked Celestia, "Or do you prefer Celly?"

Bracing for lecture mode… Standby…

All personnel please proceed to safe zones…

Warning… Lecture mode… Initializing…

Engaging…

"SHE IS PRINCESS CELESTIA AND YOU CANNOT CALL HER ANYTHING ELSE-"

After having his and everyone else's eardrums so viciously assaulted by the sheer fury in her words, The Forgemaster made an invisible sound barrier around the lavender unicorn who, in her anger, didn't notice. She also failed to notice the looks of relief that sprung up across all of the other ponies' faces because she was so focused on her target, who, for his part, kept up a scrunched and pained face so that she wouldn't think anything was wrong with her lecture. After a good 5 minutes of unabashed fury, and some spontaneously combusting manes and tails, Twilight appeared to simmer down. Twilight, who thankfully had yet to notice the sound barrier, kept a murderous eye on The Forgemaster, apparently waiting for him to speak.

He lowered the barrier long enough to say in a questioning, "I apologize?"

Twilight is oblivious when pissed off, apparently, because she completely missed his tone, "You should! You will call her Princess Celestia from now on, and that's final." She said, stomping her hood to emphasis her point.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but he just smiled back cheekily.

Without turning from Twilight, The Forgemaster called out, "Hey Princess Celestia! Can I call you Celestia or Tia or Celly?"

Twilight grew a smug grin, confident that her teacher would back her up, this grin abruptly vanished when Celestia replied, and "I told you earlier that you can call me either Tia or Celly so long as we aren't in public."

The Forgemaster grew a smug grin to replace the one that had died on Twilight's face, which was frozen still in complete disbelief. In fact, he took it one step forward; he leaned in towards Twilight, reached out a hoof, and gently poked her on the nose and said, "Boop."

Twilight was so confused by the contact that she didn't even remember to be angry. She leaned away from the contact and shook her head once or twice, clearly bewildered. When she got over the confusion, The Forgemaster was happily crunching away at an apple, not even paying any attention to her.

Hoping to defuse a tense situation, or at least just being random, Pinkie asked, "Hey Forgey! How'd you get so good at the guitar!"

The Forgemaster raised a brow at the admittedly out of left field question, but answered nonetheless, "Well, I was trapped in a cave once with nothing but bats, rats, and a guitar for company. I think I stayed there for 3 months until I was rescued, gave me a lot of time to practice. Damn cave-ins, damn them to hell." His mouth dropped into a scowl at the end.

"How'd you survive for 3 months in a cave without food 'er water?" asked Applejack.

"There was food in the cave, and water, too. Food came in the form of dead rats and bats that I killed and, as luck would have it, a small underground stream that flowed through the tunnel I was trapped in. Didn't even need to be boiled, or at least, I hope not."

"How were you rescued?"

"Oh, the native tribes, real primitives, these guys, told tales about a 'mystical cave' that sang 'beautiful' yet 'intelligible' music." The Forgemaster putting quotes in the air with his hooves, to prove that they were real quotes, "And eventually an explorer named Indiana Jones showed up. Great guy, Indy, good friend of mine. As it turns out, it took 23 sticks of dynamite and one massively powerful force field to simultaneously rescue me and prevent my death. Ahhh, good times. Right after that, he went looking for The Ark of the Covenant."

He looked off into air, reminiscing, for a few moments. Until Twilight had a question.

"I had a question, if you don't mind?" At his nod, she asked, "I noticed that you're really good at transformation spells. Why is that?"

He shrugged, "You do them for long enough they sort of become second nature to you. It's really great when you're being chased by shadowy organizations, or if you just want to be someone else for a little while. Had a great time as President Clinton once, whew, almost got him impeached! Poor bastard."

"President?"

"Leader, in this case, of the United States of America. Presidents, in America, at least, are elected for 4 year terms until the people vote again for either another guy or the same guy. 2 term limit."

"So… a democracy?"

"Yes. Well, more like a representative democracy, not a direct democracy."

At Twilight's confused look, he elaborated, "After a few million it gets kind of hard to count the ballots, so they just threw in a representative system, it's a lot easier to count like 500 people's votes rather than 400 million or so."

The conversation went as such for several hours. The ponies all asked him various questions whether they be about parties, fashion, agriculture, magic, animals, or flying. Amongst a wide variety of other things, though those were the subjects most focused on.

Of particular interest, at least to Twilight, was the population of the Earth: roughly 7 billion. There were only around 50 million Equestrians scattered around the large land area that Equestria possesses. The mares all had difficulty wrapping their heads around such a large amount of people.

So it went, until the time came that the 6 mares' rides to Ponyville were scheduled to leave, and The Forgemaster's meeting with the Equestrian Army generals was time. The Forgemaster made it known that, since nopony was around to view the actual duel that the credit should go to his pony-persona. The girls, the princesses, and he all agreed on that course of action, namely; Crimson did it!

wWwWwWw

(No offense if you are in any form of military service. This is strictly pony vs. pony, and does not reflect upon my real-world views of the military.)

Already prepared in colt-form, 'Crimson Hammer', Shining Armor, and Princess Celestia awaited the generals' appearance in the strategy room. Or, as The Forgemaster called it, the war room. Before the generals arrived, however, there was time enough to lay down some rules to Shining Armor.

These rules came in the form of a lecture from both he and the princess, but the abridged form is thus: The Forgemaster, as a human, will be considered Crimson Hammer's second in command, above even Shining Armor, and will be introduced to the guards as thus. Shining Armor was also advised as to how the guards will be organized in the near future. Shining Armor was also informed that all attempts must be utilized to tell the Equestrian Army that the guards' leader was a colt. Lecture concluded, the generals walked in.

The first thing the 3 generals did as they entered was bow to the princess, making Crimson mutter under his breath, "Sycophants." Loud enough for only he, Celestia, and Shining Armor to hear.

At least one of the generals attempted being polite, "Lord-general Crimson, I did not know that you were injured. Pray-tell, what happened?"

Dramatically looking himself up and down, he replied in a colt's voice, "Oh, these? This is just what happens when you duel a god-demon while you wait for the 'Elements of Harmony' to show up."

"You… dueled with Discord?"

Smiling happily, he said, "Yep! Beat him, too!"

Another general spoke out saying, "I was under the impression that the 'Elements of Harmony' defeated Discord."

Frowning, he replied, "And who do you think bought them enough time to get the 'Elements', or who held down the demon as the beam shot him? It certainly wasn't you or one of your Army pansies. At least my Guards were out trying to keep the peace amongst the populace. What were you doing? Sniveling and hiding under your bunks?"

Celestia tried to defuse the situation, "Gentlecolts, please…" which was, surprisingly, ignored!

"Do you think that your guards are in any way superior to the Army?" one of the generals asked, voice low and dark.

"No, I mean to say that my soldiers could fight 1 to 3 odds against yours, and come out on top! I'd even bet 1000 bits on it!"

Without thinking, or even getting the opinions of his fellows, one yelled, "You're on!"

"Great! Go get your money, and meet us outside the Guards barracks after this meeting. Shining Armor, leave and go get that stallion and mare we saw fight earlier, remember?"

Shining Armor nodded, and left to go find those 2 soldiers.

"Alright, 'Generals'." He said with heavy sarcasm, even through the tiny, always giddy colt's voice he was using, "I chose 2, you get 6. Choose your best; I'd hate to sully the hooves of some of my more mediocre guards…"

Celestia finally made her presence felt, with a small amount of magical pressure applied to each of the generals and Crimson, she said, "Gentlecolts, please. You are acting like foals. Now, let's actually get on with this meeting…"

With no small amount of whispered insults, glares, and smirks the 2 parties came together for a short meeting regarding some new Intel that came up. As it turns out, the information didn't change the agreed-upon plan much, if at all. Perhaps it was Celestia's influence, but the meeting went fairly quickly, even given its short time frame.

In no time at all, the meeting was done and the fight was arranged.

Shining Armor and the 2 fighters The Forgemaster had chosen were waiting outside the Guard barracks when Crimson arrived, as an adult, at least until the generals show up in a few minutes.

"Alright, you two, has Captain Shining Armor told you anything?"

As the 2 shook their heads no, The Forgemaster continued, "Basically, we saw you fighting a few days ago, and thought you looked good. Now, you 2 have to beat the crap out of 6 Army ponies. A little challenge, arrogance, and a rather large bet can make any respectable pony do anything, it seems. You win, you get a chunk of the bet money pooled together between you 2, you lose and you lose the respect of all your fellows. Any questions?"

The stallion-pegasus-berserker had one, "Sir, why are we fighting them?"

"Because I asked."

The mare-unicorn had another, "Why did you choose us, sir?"

"I thought you looked good fighting earlier, and your wounds should be healed from that earlier fracas. Right?" At their nods, he continued, "Also, your squad was one of the only few that volunteered and succeeded in taking down a manticore, good job, by the way. Just fight how you did last time, with each other, only this time against a common foe. Alright, they should be arriving here soon, just act naturally, no pressure: you'll do fine."

The Forgemaster quickly zapped into his colt form, then explained as to why to the 2 Guards, getting amused grins in response. Shortly thereafter, the 3 generals, much of their divisions, and their 6 chosen fighters showed up. The Royal Guards in the barracks noticed and formed up outside their barracks. All, except those participating, were confused as to why they were there.

The Forgemaster used some magic and created a rough circle with some nearby equipment, and the fighters clambered in. The Forgemaster then flew above the ring and yelled out the rules, and why they were there.

"Alright, everypony shut it!" silence greeted him, both sides being trained to follow orders quickly.

"You're probably wondering why you're all here. Well, it's much to do with some harmless bragging and somepony taking it too far, which lead to a bet, which is why we're here today! 6 soldiers of the Equestrian Army vs. 2 Royal Guard ponies! 1000 bits from each participant in the bet, please."

The Forgemaster gathered the money up and placed it in the middle of the ring, much to the disbelieving eyes of all those ponies present.

"Alright, here are the rules: no weapons, and that's it! 8 ponies go in, my Guards step out! Go at your enemy as though he were a threat to you, medical ponies are standing by, so don't worry. Also, though there are no rules try and at least avoid killing your opponents. That is all, at the count of 5, commence beat down!"

The Forgemaster drifted lazily back down to his Guards' side, he whispered to them, "Just stick together, complement your battle-brother or sister's moves. Always think, but don't hesitate to react. If you're lucky, they'll underestimate you. Exterminate them, maximum prejudice."

He then yelled out, "Alright! Everypony ready? 5-4-3-2-1-Fight!"

The ponies were no more than 7 paces away, the circle being surrounded on all sides by ether guards or soldiers. The circle was no more than 30 feet in diameter.

The fight started rather quickly, one pony from the Army side making the stupid decision to run past his allies and straight at the Guards. A single hoof to the face from the stallion Guard, with a loud crunch of broken bone and cartilage, and he was out like a light. After that, the others came at the Guards much, much more cautiously. And in the end, that's what doomed them.

With a roar that momentarily stunned the Army ponies into immobility, the stallion-berserker ran full tilt at them, this time, the mare charging in right behind him to support him. With the momentary distraction the roar gave him, the berserker managed to buck one in the face, putting him out of the fight as well. When they tried to counter attack, the berserker shrugged off their blows like so many ineffectual slaps from foals. With their concentration on the larger and more immediate threat, they didn't notice that the mare had followed right behind him. With a sickening crack, another guard went out from a strike from behind, courtesy of the mare.

Now on almost equal footing, the 3 last soldiers had literally no chance in hell of defeating the other 2 Guards. The berserker-guard went flailing about, taking down one more while the mare caught the hoof of one of the other 2 and twisted the poor soldier's hoof until it broke. The final soldier wisely decided to surrender.

The fight was over in no more than 42 seconds.

The Forgemaster flew out into the ring, stunned silence came from each pony that hazed upon the scene.

He yelled out, "Royal Guards - 6, Equestrian Army – 0. Congratulations, you 2, you are leaving this arena 100 bits richer, the both of you. First round's on you at the bar!"

The Army ponies backed away, grumbling to themselves. The generals were furious that they lost the bet. The Royal Guards ALL went running out the gate to the nearest pub, and their 2 champions were hoisted high upon their fellows, after collecting the innings of course. For his part, The Forgemaster let this momentary slip of discipline to happen, and lined his pockets with 1000 bits left on the pile of bet money.

"That was actually… much, much easier than I thought it would be. Training seems to work off, doesn't it?" He remarked to no one in particular.

Chapter 55

The Forgemaster was inside Twilight's home, fixing a shattered windowpane. Apparently, Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity had a slumber party and somehow managed to pull a tree through the window. The Forgemaster was currently sanding down some of the recently fixed paneling, so as to provide for a smooth surface. Twilight just so happened to be in the library at the time, she was organizing her books downstairs.

"You wanna tell me just how in hell you managed to get a tree inside of another tree, Twilight?" he asked.

"Well, Applejack saw that a tree was going to fall on Lyra's house because some lightning hit it. She did the sensible thing and pulled it down before anypony could get hurt." Twilight replied from the central room.

"Yes, fine, but how did it land in your bloody bedroom?"

"She… may have pulled just a teensy bit too hard." She replied sheepishly.

The two continued their separate work in silence for a few moments, but then The Forgemaster started to chuckle to himself.

"Want to share what's so funny?" Twilight asked.

"The irony just struck me: you live in a tree, that is also a library, full of books that are made from trees, and I'm fixing damage to a tree with wood from another tree, and the damage to this tree was caused by yet another tree." He chuckled some more, "I just thought it was funny."

Twilight thought it was funny too, and laughed along with him. They continued in silence for a few more moments. The Forgemaster spoke up once more once he was finished.

The Forgemaster walked down the stairs and took a seat on the bottom step, "Alright, I'm done. Still don't know why you couldn't have gotten a pony carpenter. Also, still don't know why you even had a slumber party. You aren't the most outgoing of ponies, Twilight."

"Well, it was either have a slumber party or let my friends go home during a storm, and I wasn't about to do that!"

He shook his head, "Pussies. A storm can't hurt you."

"It had lightning and high winds, Forgey."

"Lightning strikes the tallest object, and that certainly isn't a pony, it'd probably be a tree. This tree, in fact." He said, while rubbing a hand along the wall.

Twilight rolled her eyes, "I'll tell you the same thing I told Applejack; I have a magical lightning rod installed."

"Hmm… I could've made a sexual joke there, but to prove my maturity; I'll hold off on that."

"Ugh, colts are all the same no matter how old and powerful they are."

"First: age and power are relative, compare me to you, then I am both ancient and god-like, compared to Celestia, I'm a teenager and a black belt, while she's a 40 year old and couldn't tell you which side of the sword is the pointy end. Second: if all colts are the same, then why can't girls choose between them?"

"Are you trying to say that you're more powerful than Celestia?" she asked, sounding incredulous.

"No, she has quite a bit of power, what I'm saying is that I have much, much more experience than she does. In a battle between us, I would win because I'm used to it and now what to do, she would lose because she hasn't been in as many fights as I have."

"Well, there's not been a reason to fight anypony in many years."

"Ha! Not with humans. Humans are very, very good at killing. In fact, many cultures are proud of the various ways they can kill, and the various wars they have been in. As a matter of fact, I think I might belong to most of those cultures… disturbing."

Twilight got angry, "Ugh, what is it with you and killing!"

"Hey, if it has to be done, why not enjoy it?" he asked.

"Um, maybe because you are killing other ponies?"

"It's people. And what does that have to do with anything?"

Twilight hung her head in frustration, "Ugh, you're impossible! I think I'll just stop, you'll never change."

"Hey! You're learning!" he laughed at her indignant face.

He stood there for a few moments laughing, while she glared at him. She seemed to do a lot of that, glaring, I mean. She only retorts every once in a while, but often glared at The Forgemaster. He, for his part, took it in stride, never letting Twilight have the satisfaction of getting a rise out of him.

He then walked out the door and was greeted by some of the local ponies in the square. He found the other girls under his care and walked over to greet them, Twilight following behind him.

Then, out of the blue, a panicking Spike ran into the library and started to speak incoherently.

"Rarity... woods... jewels... dogs... hole... taken... Save her!" he stammered out while pointing in the direction he came and breathing heavily.

The group blinked owlishly at the young dragon, under the combined stares, Spike seemed to calm down and stopped trying to talk though he was still obviously panicking, Spike was hyperventilating and holding his chest, trying to get air in as quickly as possible. The Forgemaster slowly walked over to Spike. He kneeled down immediately in front of Spike and looked deep into his eyes, after a moment of searching, he reached back and slapped Spike across the face.

"Get it together man! Rarity needs you!" he said as Spike absently rubbed his reddened cheek.

Seemingly snapped out of his panicking, Spike said, "Sorry. Rarity and I were in the woods looking for jewels when these creepy guys showed up."

"Creepy guys?" Twilight asked.

"They called themselves the diamond dogs. They grabbed Rarity and disappeared down a hole in the ground."

"Well, what are we doing standing around here? Let's go kick some diamond dog ass!"

With various cries of accent, the group ran off in the direction Spike had previously come from.

"Alright Spike, that sounds mighty easy. Just take us to that their hole and we'll save Rarity."

Within no more than 15 minutes, the group had arrived in the area that Rarity had been ponynapped. According to Spike, Rarity had been taken by these Diamond Dogs into a hole in the ground. Upon cresting the hill, however, it was revealed that many, many holes were present.

Pinkie summed it up best when she said, "Holy moly, that's a lotta holeys!"

"It matters little; logic dictates that all of these holes are interconnected. We merely need to enter one to find our quarry."

The ponies all agreed with him, they went down the hill and entered the plain on which the holes were located, and began to look down into the holes.

Twilight decided to pep up the girls with an inspiring cheer, "Come on, girls! Let's get started."

"For the love of fuck, Twilight! I. Am. A. Male! You are the only one here who refuses to acknowledge that!"

While the other girls laughed at him, Twilight apologized sheepishly to the enraged human. The group then began to look into the holes in earnest. However, The Forgemaster stood apart from the group and watched their activities with a raised brow.

"Why are you all looking into dark tunnels as though you could actually see in there?" he asked the others.

"Do you have a better idea?" Rainbow asked.

"Going into the holes?"

Twilight replied, "Why didn't I think of that? C'mon everypony, into the holes!"

Twilight and the others then dived dramatically into their holes of choice, only to be blocked at the last moment by a mound of dirt filling the hole. The ponies all got mud and dirt all over their faces, causing The Forgemaster to chuckle at their expense. Suddenly, the rest of the holes began to suffer the same fate the others had, and they were filling up quickly.

"Quick! We gotta get down one before they're all filled up." Twilight yelled, and then sprang into action along with the others.

"Really, Twilight? I didn't know that, I was planning on sitting here and doing nothing." He said sarcastically to Twilight.

Twilight didn't respond, but glared at him anyway. The ponies all tried various ways of entering the tunnel system, all of them failing, however.

After a stunning display of both strength and failure, Applejack said, "We can't muscle through it!"

Rainbow Dash replied, "We'll see about that." And immediately dive-bombed the nearest open hole. Unfortunately, that hole too filled in, making Rainbow pull up at the last second.

The Forgemaster looked at all the ponies trying various ways to enter a tunnel and sighed, reminiscing.

"I remember the last time I entered a deep, dark, and dank hole. Last night actually." And chuckled at his small joke, though he got a glare from Rainbow Dash.

She slowly flew over to him, glaring the entire way, and once she got in range, she bucked him in the crotch. He didn't make a sound.

Not looking back, she said, "You're lucky I love you or I would've put that thing through a grinder."

"2 things. First: that's happened so many times to me, I think I'm immune." Rainbow turned in shock to see him standing in the same position as normal, with his arms folded across his chest, "Second: you're a pony, why would you have a meat grinder?"

He then chuckled at the flabbergasted expression on her face. Applejack decided to ruin the Kodak moment and spoke.

"Heavens to Betsy. Now I'm used to pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off but Rarity won't even touch mud 'less it's imported."

With The Forgemaster thinking, 'Who the hell would import mud?', Twilight said, "Oh, Rarity."

The others went off into a little dream universe, he assumed, and fantasized about the conditions Rarity was in, The Forgemaster was not invited…

Snapping out of their dream universe, Applejack said, "We gotta save her!"

"1st place for most obvious sentence of the day goes to Applejack, please come up to the podium to claim your prize." He said, deadpan.

"But, Applejack, they blocked up all the holes." Said Fluttershy, adorably, while indicating the mounds of dirt everywhere, as though the others didn't notice.

Applejack leaped onto one of the mounds and said, "Don't mean we can't dig 'em out. Come on!"

The rest of the group immediately went to work, getting on their own mounds and trying to dig those ones out. Spike was about to get to work when The Forgemaster stopped him.

"Hey Spike, still got that shovel?"

"Uh, yeah, why?" Spike asked, confused.

"Hand it here." The Forgemaster held out a hand, into which a small shovel was placed moments later.

The Forgemaster murmured, "Thanks", and gripped the shovel. He held both hands on the shaft and then twisted in opposite directions before spreading them apart. The shovel seemingly grew before Spike's eyes.

Seeing Spike's awe, The Forgemaster said, "Telescoping handle. Useful for when you grew or if I needed it."

The Forgemaster then went to the nearest pile of dirt and began to work his way through it, moving much faster than all of the other ponies did combined. The shovel was truly doing its job.

Suddenly, Pinkie screamed, "Ow!"

The Forgemaster looked up from his work to see Pinkie on the ground with a canine of some sort leering at her from a mound nearby. But the second thing he saw made him want to throw this whole damn field into the sun. It was Fluttershy, being held by the tail by one of those canines, and then… he dropped her!

'By the ancients and all of the gods and goddesses; that beast will know naught but pain for a fortnight. I shall chop his right leg off and then- before cutting out his- sodomize him with his own- strangle him with his own intestines- chopping off his- making him eat his own- stabbing him in the- removing all of his- with a rusty spoon- heating him gently over- cooking him from the inside out- pouring molten lead into- before healing him and doing the same thing again and again and again!' He thought, enraged.

He leaned down over the shovel, and tapped a series of jewels imbedded in the shovel's blade. After tapping 7 or so, the blade glowed and then began to change shape. When finished transforming, the 'shovel' looked very much like a two-handed battleaxe. In fact, judging by the way The Forgemaster held it while running at the diamond dog, screaming battle cries the whole way, it probably was a battleaxe.

The top half of the diamond dog was sticking out of the mound, so that means that most of its vital organs were just below the top of the pile of dirt. The Forgemaster swung out with his axe and cleaved straight through the dirt pile, unfortunately, the diamond dog retreated down the very same pile he had just chopped through, leaving the diamond dog scared, but very much alive.

Fluttershy had run off scared. The Forgemaster looked from where his target had been to the other ponies; they were all currently dealing with some 3 diamond dogs in their own fashion. However, due to the mobility offered by the tunnels, the diamond dogs were making fools out of them. That is, until, The Forgemaster saw one of them trip Fluttershy.

Howling with rage, The Forgemaster focused his magic and shot out a pulse wave at the nearby dirt mounds. Each and every one that was hit turned into solid glass. Anything and everything that was inside the dirt mound would be turned to glass, including any diamond dogs that happened to be in the mounds he shot at. He continued this rage-filled task, eventually leaving only about a dozen or so untouched mounds of dirt. The diamond dogs did the sensible thing, and retreated.

After the dogs retreated, The Forgemaster stood above the group of ponies and 1 dragon, all of them but he huffing and puffing in exhaustion. He, however, was huffing and puffing in a barely contained rage, struggling to let himself kill everything that resided inside these tunnels.

After a few moments, he seemed to calm down slightly.

Thought he mumbled, "Hated the tunnels on Iwo Jima, hate the tunnels here too. Fuck the diamond dogs, fuck them with a brick." Under his breath.

Fluttershy said, adorably, "Oh, those scary monsters popping up everywhere. Oh, poor Rarity must be terrified."

While the other ponies went into their dream land again, The Forgemaster went over to Fluttershy and pulled her into a deep hug, making her squeak in surprise. He held her close, enjoying her soft mane and coat, and whispered into her ear.

"Fluttershy est optimum parvam equum." Ignoring her questions of, 'What?'

He held her for a few more moments, and then set her down on the ground gently, just in time to watch as the others came out of their fantasy.

Twilight cried out, "Poor Rarity! What are we gonna do?"

Spike seemed to look around for a few moments, and spotted what the others hadn't yet noticed: an open hole.

He ran at it saying, "I got it! I'll save you, my sweet."

The ponies shared a communal, "Huh?"

The Forgemaster scoffed at them, and said quietly enough so that Spike wouldn't hear, "It's obvious that Spike is sweet on the mare."

The others said, "Oh…"

He walked after Spike, "Honestly, I'm a dude. You girls should've been able to pick up on that faster than me." He said over his shoulder, the others staring after him for a few moments before following.

As The Forgemaster walked up to Spike, he watched as the young dragon pulled out a fishing rod and a large turquoise. He wrapped the gem in the fishing line and cast it into the hole.

The Forgemaster sat immediately opposite from Spike, he asked, quietly enough so that the 'fish' wouldn't hear, "I thought ponies didn't have fishing rods. I even asked!"

"They don't. You just have to know the right ponies in town to ask. Dragons don't just eat gems, you know."

The Forgemaster was gazing intently into the abyss, "Oh, Spike. You're a lad after mine own heart."

The other ponies by that time ad caught up, Twilight in particular spoke, "Spike, it is very noble of you-"

The Forgemaster and Spike both shushed her very loudly.

She tried again, quieter though, "-to sacrifice the gem Rarity gave you."

Spike seemed to have his own dream for a moment, "Oh, Lady Rarity. My damsel in distress!" he called out dreamily.

After a few moments in dream land, he began making kissy faces at Applejack nearby, prompting her to back away saying, "Hoho there, lover boy."

Just then, the fishing rod began to bend, signifying a 'bite'.

Spike unnecessarily said, "Whoa! Whoa whoa whoawhoawhoa... I got a bite! I got a bite!"

Muttering, 'No shit, Sherlock', The Forgemaster held out a hand and said, "Pinkie! Hammer!"

Pinkie dutifully supplied a fairly large sledge hammer to him, who held it in one hand as though it weighed as much as a feather. The Forgemaster raised the hammer over his head, ready to bring it crashing down on the first thing with canine teeth to burst from the hole. Unfortunately, Spike, along with all of the others ponies, failed to reel in the 'catch'.

He watched as they were all dragged down into the hole, and sighed to himself. Pinkie had gone in last and he didn't feel inclined to follow, if he even could. The Forgemaster stuck his head into the hole and noticed that his shoulders were set to wide to allow him entry. Muttering a quick spell, he shrunk himself down slightly, enough to move through the tunnels with ease. He then jumped down into the hole, and after sliding a good couple hundred feet in a gradually sloping ramp, he flew off the end of the ramp and down into another tunnel opposite it. He quickly stopped himself and attempted to follow the path the others had taken. Unfortunately, the trial was nowhere to be seen.

'Shit. I hate rabbit holes. They lead to human farming machines… Viva la résistance!'

He decided to trust his instincts, his gods, or his luck and just randomly walked down tunnel after tunnel. He swung the axe and the hammer over each shoulder a whistled a tune as he walked. He began to think of all the various ways he would completely annihilate these diamond dogs: they had violated the job he was set to do by Celestia, and by his oath, they would be punished!

On his various wanderings, he came across several groups of what appeared to be diamond dog guards, well, they had armor on, anyway. A swing of the hammer, and even through their armor they were knocked unconscious. A swing of his axe, and their armor didn't stand a chance. Leaving a chamber that was previously full to the brim with diamond dogs, he looked back to see all of them either unconscious, dead, or missing a limb and wishing they were unconscious. Laughing insanely, he went on his way with nary a second thought.

After a few more chambers of dogs and a few more random patrols, The Forgemaster found himself at a crossroads, literally. Left, forward, right, and backwards. Well, he certainly wasn't going backwards, so that narrows it down. He was about to flip his hammer to decide which was to go when he heard crying come from the right tunnel. The crying sounded strikingly reminiscent of Rarity.

With a whoop of joy from finally finding the right way to go, he charged off in that direction.

After a few moments of running, he turned a corner to see 5 diamond dogs running across his line of sight to the left. He threw his axe out at them horizontally and cut through 3 of them with that one attack. The axe sheathed itself in the wall past them as the 3 diamond dogs fell to the ground, already dead. In mere moments, the other 2 were nursing huge holes that appeared in their heads from having a hammer go through them at blinding speed before, they too, fell.

As he watched the last one fall, a familiar call came to his ears, "Yeehaw! Get along, little doggies! What!"

He looked in that direction and saw the other 5 mares he was supposed to be guarding looking at the corpses and turning green, they were evidently sickened by the sight of blood, corpses, and murder. This little awkward 'I just saw you kill something for the first time' moment soon ended when the nearby tunnel that had a gate on it suddenly started having crashing noises, and some that distinctly sounded like Rarity, come through the entrance. Luckily, the sounds were enough to distract the ponies from the grisly scene behind him.

Spike reared up and knocked down a stalactite hanging right above him and wielded the broken rock as a sword.

The Forgemaster rolled his eyes at the display and silently noticed all the wrong ways he was holding the 'blade' as any old master seeing a novice would.

Spike called out, "I'm coming for you, my lady. Hi-ho, Twilight! Away!"

Twilight looked over her shoulder to look Spike in the eye and said, annoyed, "And just what do you think you're doing?"

Spike replied, "Please, Twilight. Just give me this."

Twilight groaned before saying, "Fine." And then literally whinnied and ran towards the room the noises were coming from.

The others were following close behind.

When Spike and Twilight busted down another door, Spike said, "Lady Rarity, I'm here to save you!"

Then, everyone was shocked when the 3 diamond dogs who were bothering them earlier came running at them, begging them to take Rarity away from them.

The Forgemaster didn't listen to a word they said; instead he glared at the one that had hurt Fluttershy. He gave him a look that could literally kill in enough quantity. He entered the conversation when Spike was screaming something to Rarity.

"Rarity! You're safe!" he yelled.

"Why, yes. Hello, girls-"

"And the 2 males!" The Forgemaster yelled back at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Er, right. You are just in time to assist me." Said Rarity.

"Assist you with what?" asked Applejack.

"With those." Rarity looked back at the cartloads of gems behind her.

"You're letting us leave with all these... jewels?" asked Spike, getting a hungry gleam in his eyes.

One of the dogs pitifully replied, "Yes. Take them. And her with them."

Another screamed out, "Please!"

The mares under his protection all gave each other a look before hooking themselves up to the wagons. The Forgemaster followed close behind them, making sure the foolish dogs stayed back. They managed to make their way through the forests without spilling the gems.

"I can't believe you got all these gems!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Rainbow put her 2 cents in, "Heh. I can't believe you tricked all those dogs."

"Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I cannot handle myself in a sticky situation. I had them wrapped around my hoof the entire time." Rarity said back to her.

The Forgemaster, who was walking next to Dashie leaned in and whispered, "Heh. Sticky situation, that's so dirty."

Rainbow laughed at his admittedly awful joke. While Twilight and Rarity were having a conversation about something or other, The Forgemaster continued to speak with the others.

"Hey Pinkie, you got any of those explosive charges left?"

"Yeah! You can have all you need!" she enthusiastically replied.

"Good, I have a plan…"

2 weeks later

It had taken 2 long weeks, but everything was prepared.

No longer would his revenge be denied.

All diamond dogs would die!

'No one so much as twitches a finger in Fluttershy's direction I anger, lest they earn my wrath. These dogs certainly qualify.' The Forgemaster thought.

The Forgemaster was lying down on the hill that he had crested when searching for Rarity those long 2 weeks ago. He had, in his hands, a marvelous piece of human engineering, lovingly recreated by The Forgemaster himself, each piece enchanted and hand-crafted to be most efficient at their job. A deadly weapon, each and every part that would normally have been machined was crafted by hand, with expert accuracy.

'I'm normally not a big fan of firearms, mainly because they don't require much skill to use, but there's just something about the sniper's rifle that I love. That, and revolvers. Gods, I love revolvers. Probably because they required skill to use, like in the Wild West. Sniping is difficult as well.' He thought.

In his hands was a true master-work sniper's rifle, ready to take the head of each and every diamond dog.

Phase 1: Boom.

He reached into his pocket and drew the detonator Pinkie had supplied. With a flick and a press, the detonator was engaged. Off in the distance, a loud rumble could be heard: the result of over 40 satchel charges that Pinkie innocently supplied.

Phase 1: Success.

Phase 2: Pin Down.

The diamond dogs had doubtless heard the rumble, and more likely felt the tremors from such a large explosion. Logic dictates that they would leave their burrows to investigate. The Forgemaster was not disappointed.

The Forgemaster cocked his rifle, and put a bead on the first diamond dog to appear's head. With a *boom* the unsuppressed rifle made its presence known. The diamond dog fell back, missing a head and most of its neck. This process was repeated 7 more times before the dogs stopped leaving their burrows.

Phase 2: Success.

Phase 3: Red Tide.

Unknown to the diamond dogs, but the rumble and tremors from earlier were a complete and utter disaster for the group. What the explosions had demolished wasn't anything important; rather, it was a large stretch of land that was carved out of a field for seemingly no purpose. A large trench now pointed the direction straight to the diamond dog burrows.

The Forgemaster reached out and activated his second detonator, this one being only a single satchel charge, but it was enough.

A small piece of land, that held back the free-flowing river from rushing into the trench the explosions had made, suddenly vanished in a flash of light and thunder. The water, true to its path of least resistance, now flowed directly towards the plain in which the diamond dogs were burrowed.

Not 5 minutes later: the water arrived.

Not 4 minutes after that: the burrows were mostly flooded.

Not 2 minutes after that: the diamond dogs panicked, and rushed to the surface.

As The Forgemaster looked through his scope, he could see the struggling forms of many, many diamond dogs. With yet another boom the dogs were already beginning to fear, more diamond dogs died, turning the water blood red.

After many such booms and many such deaths, the water was very, very red.

What diamond dogs that weren't dead on the surface were drowning underneath.

The Forgemaster looked across this killing field, this mass of destruction he had wrought, and felt nothing…

For what exterminator glories in the death of a cock roach?

That is all they were: vermin. And he was their exterminator.

He reached into his pocket one more time and withdrew yet another detonator. With a press of a button, a cliff was collapsed, and the river was restored to its former path. In a few days, the water would dry up, but the diamond dogs would be gone.

He readjusted his scope, and zoomed in on one particular floating corpse. A corpse he had wanted to torture to death over and over again.

He fired on it a dozen more times.

'No one… hurts… Fluttershy!'

Phase 3: Complete Success.

“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! LET THE WHOLE WORLD BUUURN!”

Chapter 56

The Forgemaster was sitting in his office, doing paperwork, the least. He was in Canterlot, overseeing the training of his men, er, stallions. Then again, there are also mares in the Guards… Crap. Thankfully, he was saved from his inner monologue by his Captain, Shining Armor, who had just opened the door to his office.

Before his Captain had even said a word, The Forgemaster said, "Hey, Shining Armor. If knowing is half the battle and getting there is half the battle, do we ever need to fight?"

Shining Armor chuckled, and then said, "Sir, I'll leave the complicated stuff to you."

"Good decision, alright, now what brought you into my office this morning?"

"Well, sir. I have the reports for the guards." Shining Armor waved a stack of files of his head with his magic.

"Anything important?"

"Other than a series of radical successes and the fact that the unicorns are somewhat behind schedule; no sir, nothing to report at all."

With a final flick of his quill, his current document was done, "Alright, burn those reports: it's a waste of space. And take me to where those damn unicorns are, I'll fix 'em up right and proper."

The Forgemaster reached into his desk and pulled out 4 books, each with a different colored binding: red, blue, white, and brown. He tossed these books to the Captain.

"Take these to somepony, and have them make 50 copies of each. They're basically training manuals for combat magic." He tossed the 4 books at his Captain, who caught them with alacrity.

"If those unicorns read those, they ought to be able to at least try the damn spells. You'd figure that ponies that have been using magic since they were born would be able to learn a new spell every now and again, but apparently not."

"Uh… yes sir?"

"Good answer! So… what's going on between you and your princess?"

Shining Armor brightened at his marefriend being mentioned, "Well, sir, I think it's going just fine… why are you shaking your head?"

"It doesn't matter if you think it's going fine, it only matters if she thinks it's going fine. Also; fine isn't good enough! Make it great, and report back to me once it's done. Now, give me some details…"

"Well, after you so… cordially… introduced us. We really hit it off. Though, it is kind of… awkward to call a princess by their first name."

"Hey, if she demands that you call her Cadance, it means you have a chance."

"I've… never looked at it that way, sir."

"What next?"

"I asked her if she would like to go out for dinner, she said when, I said next Friday. We went and we had a nice time."

"Okay, since there's no sure-fire way to know if a mare likes you, I'll have to teach you the mind reading spell-"

"No, sir, I couldn't do that!"

"But, mares are notoriously devious, the only way I know how to make sure they are telling the truth is to read their mind."

"I don't think that Cadance would appreciate me reading her mind. Or anypony else, for that matter."

"Ha! Good going, son: you past the first test. In every relationship there are secrets and things you never want to tell your significant other, these are important. However, never reveal them unless it is necessary to do so. It is always imperative to keep what you want private, private."

"I thought relationships were about openness and trust?"

The Forgemaster casually looked around the room, giggling madly, and intentionally not meeting his Captain's eyes.

He then looked at his hoof, which did not have a watch on it, and said, "Will you look at the time! I'd better go tutor some unicorns in magic! Bye bye, now!"

The Forgemaster ran at the nearest window and ran through it, shattering it in the process. Shining Armor ran to the window to check on his boss, and shook his head in frustration at the human-turned-stallion down 3 floors in his 'Killy Circle' cheering on a pair of fighters along with about a dozen or so guards. Shining Armor only just barely caught the cheeky smile his boss threw up at him. But he most certainly caught what his boss yelled up at him.

"Clean up that bloody mess, Captain!"

Shining Armor groaned and walked away.

'Sometimes he is just so immature…' he thought.

wWwWwWw

"… there are several basic spells that you can use to defend yourself. There are spells that manipulate the air, the earth, fire itself, and all types of liquids. While you may think that using water to defeat an enemy is stupid, think of it this way: if you are next to a river and an enemy army is running at you, one of the best things that can happen for you is that a tsunami spontaneously forms. While incredibly unlikely, it could happen. Well, with water spells, you could have the capability to make tsunamis whenever you damn well please."

The Forgemaster was on top of a large rock in the middle of an open field, there were scores of unicorns around him. All of these unicorns were guards and all of them have come to his little secluded field to learn how to use magic to defend themselves. All of these guards were around him in a large crowd, each of them looking at him and paying rapt attention.

"Today, you will be learning the fire spells. They are by far the easiest and most destructive to use. However, they do not have the flexibility that the other types have. Also, it's fucking fire! If you leave it unattended, it will burn literally everything in its path, so caution ponies."

He got scattered chuckles from that.

"We have numerous medics standing by, so you won't die and the get experience treating burns! Please note, you will get burned today. It's really more how much you get burned that you should be worried about." He pointed towards a large tent with a red cross on it as he was speaking.

"Alright, everypony line up!"

Orders were being followed with the speed that only being absolutely bat-shit afraid of what your commander might do if you're not fast enough, in moments the roughly 100 strong group of unicorns was in order.

"Alright, you lot learned how to do Captain Shining Armor's shield last week, so if you're not very good with them yet, prepare for some practical experience! This is called the flamethrower spell, and it's really self explanatory. Create a tiny domed shield facing away from you. This is to protect yourself from your own fire!"

He looked across the line and saw that they all had tiny, pink shield in front of them.

"Alright, now, focus your magical energies in the area in front of the shield, I'm talking about 1 millimeter away from the shield and focus them in an area of about 1 millimeter cubed, got that? Okay, once you focus enough of your energy there, the air around it will start to spontaneously combust from the heat being generated in such a tiny place. From there, use basic levitation spells to move the fire away from you in a stream! I didn't say start yet! You 6 take a lap around Canterlot and come back."

The 6 ponies designated groaned and ran away, making The Forgemaster call after them, "We're only a mile from Canterlot and the city's circumference is only about 3! And quit your bitching or I'll make it 3 laps!" the groans abruptly stopped.

"Alright, distance of 10 feet in between everypony and everypony face that-a-way!" he pointed in the direction indicated.

"Alright, now practice! And try not to hit someone else!"

The open field was suddenly alight with almost a hundred pilot lights burning. After a few moments, the entire field was alight with large streams of fire bursting forth from each of the unicorns, well, most of them anyway.

"If you can't do it, turn to the nearest pony and ask them for some pointers!" he yelled out from atop his rock.

Once he was satisfied that all of the ponies could do it, which took about a half-hour, he turned them on to endurance. The first pony to keep a stream going for a full minute gets to learn the next spell in the fire series. In roughly an hour, he had about 50 unicorns ready to learn the next spell and the 6 from earlier returned. After getting the 6 set straight he turned to the smaller group of ponies ready to learn.

"Alright, this one is slightly more difficult, but can be used in innumerable ways. Same process as before, only slightly different. This time, make an entire bubble with your shield, and focus the energies inside of it. Since your shield ought to be air-tight, there will be no outward indication that the spell is ready for a while. However, a big clue is when your shield becomes so hot that it starts to spontaneously combust the air around it, that's the only outward indication, and indeed the spell can be used earlier than at that moment. Anyways, once the heat sphere is ready, merely push the shield towards where you want it to go, at this point you can stop pumping energy into the sphere, and it will last long enough without your energy. And once at the target, drop the shield all at once and the fire will rapidly expand in every direction. It moves so fast and burns so hot as to actually drain all of the oxygen out of an area, and the fire quickly burns itself out. But the real kicker isn't in the fire; it's in the rapid expansion. The expansion creates an explosive and concussive wave of energy which knocks ponies off of their feet, bursts ear-drums, gives concussions, kills, breaks bones, etc, etc. Anyway, this spell is one of my personal favorites. Go ahead, try it out, but remember to put extra emphasis on the shield, in time it'll become second nature to you, but for now it's the most important thing!"

The group of unicorns all gave an affirmation and began to work on their own, taking the proper safety procedures of getting away from all of the other ponies.

The Forgemaster, still on his rock, gave out various commands to all of the ponies in the field.

"Those using the fireball spell, teach the other once they are ready. If any of you care to read, I had the good Captain make some copies of some training manuals. They will teach you all you need to know about the 4 different schools of combat magickery. They'll be in the Royal Guard barracks' library. I've gotta go now, see you lot back at the barracks at sundown, and no later!"

With a chorus of, 'Sir, yes sir's ringing out, The Forgemaster opened a portal and went back to his office.

wWwWwWw

To his surprise, he found a certain princess of the night waiting for him there. She was sitting in the only other chair that the room provided that wasn't also his chair.

"Greetings, Forgemaster." Princess Luna said.

"Hi, Luna. How is the night? Still dark and under-appreciated?" he asked with a chuckle.

She sighed, "Unfortunately, yes. Though ponies like Tia's student Twilight Sparkle are always staying up through much of the night."

"Think of it this way, Lulu." He smirked at her, "There are several things done in the night. Everything from getting lost in a good book to partying and especially love-making! There are many things done in the night to be proud of, if it wasn't for the night, why I'd say that only half as many couples as now have fun and enjoy their lives together. Have you seen one of those night-clubs? They're crazy!"

She laughed despite herself at his boyish excitement, "Why thank you, I've not thought about that way before. It is truly touching to have this pointed out to me, thank you. And, yes I've been to a night club under a disguise and, to be honest, they weren't what I was expecting at all! Loud noises, bright, strobing lights, and the dancing, ugh, how can anypony call that dancing!"

The 2 shared a laugh at the idiocy of the younger generations.

"You know, if you need something to occupy your time; you could always get a student like Tia has?"

He immediately found himself being crushed under the weight of a joyous Luna, who was hugging him into oblivion, "Oh thank you thank you thank you! Why haven't I thought about it before? It will be the perfect thing I need to distract myself. I mean, between the night, studying the new times, and learning and inventing new spells, I almost have no time for fun!"

He inhaled loudly, "You make new spells too! No way!"

"Of course I do! Why do you think there hasn't been a new spell in generations? It was always me who invented the new spells, and other ponies would learn how to do it from some books that I published on the subject."

He hugged her back, "Princess Luna is best princess."

She sniffled back a tear, "Really?"

"Yes."

Another sniffle, "Do you mind if I lord this over Tia?"

"So long as she doesn't kill me for it."

"Oh, she would never kill anypony."

"…I'm not a pony."

She grinned sheepishly, "Oh, right. Well, I'm sure she won't kill you, either."

"I'm not so sure about that… You hear about those ground trembles near Ponyville a few days ago, and the river drying up for about an hour?"

"Yes, I think I read something about that, why?"

"Well, as it turns out, those trembles and the river were connected. Apparently, someone made the river change course for an hour and then set it back."

"How?"

"Explosives, but you aren't asking the important questions: where was the river diverted to?"

She stared at him in confusion for a few moments, before saying, "Alright, I'll bite: who was it and why?"

"It was me and I diverted the river so I could drown a few dozen hundred diamond dogs in their burrow. Hey, don't look at me like that! I have an excuse: they hurt Fluttershy! What happened to them was, if anything, far too merciful."

She glared at him, before rubbing her chin, thinking, "Fluttershy, Fluttershy… the adorable butter yellow pegasus?"

He nodded.

She smiled, "Then, you are correct: you were far too merciful. Tia or I would've sent them to the moon for all eternity."

He sniffed, "It's like she packs military-grade cuteness. If anything so much as lifts a finger in her direction without the intent to give her a hug I want to tear their eyeballs out and sodomize them with their own femur bone after I tear it off of them." He sighed, "Do you mind not telling Tia about this, she might kill me."

"My lips are sealed."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it. By the way, you should work on not using the Royal Canterlot voice while in public."

"I'm just so used to it. A thousand years ago, it was considered proper. Now, it's completely different. The transition has been difficult."

"I understand, but, work on it, you know?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "Of course."

The 2 sat in silence for a few more moments, but Princess Luna broke the silence.

"You know, I had a crush on you."

He sat up quickly, "Really? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Ugh, you dumb colts are so oblivious sometimes. Tia said that I made it blatantly obvious."

"Not to me." He sighed, "I miss the good old days, when dating and finding someone to care for wasn't so hard. Why can't girls and guys just walk up to someone and say, 'Hey, I find your physical attributes pleasing. I would like to meet with you later to discuss things so that I may infer as to whether or not you are mentally pleasing to me as well.' But, nope, that went out the window as soon as people found rejection too hard to handle. Pussies."

She blinked owlishly at him for a few moments, before deciding that ignoring that rant was the best thing she could do, "While I may still want to be with you, I wouldn't dream of trying to get between you and Miss Rainbow Dash."

He grinned at her, "I don't think she would mind at all, sure she'd be thunderstruck for the first few minutes, but I think that she'd get into the swing of things fairly quickly."

"Did you just make a sex joke to a princess?"

"Whoever said it was a joke? I was thinking more along the lines of 'invitation'." He laughed at her scowling face, "No, I understand what you mean. It was just too much to pass up. And if you want to be in a relationship with me, just wait about 2 centuries or so."

She shook her head, "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"The average life-span for a human was about 80 to 90 years. Dashie is 20-something now. That's the way the cycle went: I meet someone, 70 or so years later they die, I mourned their loss for another 30 or so years, I steel myself to any kind of relationship for about a century, some girl notices the shell I built up around my heart, they decide that it's a good idea to break it down, another 70 years they die and the cycle continues into infinity. So yeah, about another 2 centuries is about right."

"You've been in so many relationships that you can accurately predict when we could be in a relationship?" she asked, incredulously.

"Yep! I wouldn't want to break up with Rainbow Dash, seeing as how she'd kill me. And Rainbow Dash probably won't break up with me, seeing as how she's the 'Element of Loyalty'. So unless I do something monumentally stupid, the 2 of us won't be separating for a while, now."

"How are you still sane?"

"I never said anything about being sane or not… Then again, sanity is relative." He exhaled, loudly, "Well, at least I've found 2 other beings that are immortal. At least I'll have friends to be lonely with for all eternity."

"You didn't even have a brother or a sister to have company with for all that time? What did you do for all those centuries?"

"I really just focused on uplifting my people to more advanced stages of civilization. We recently made it to the moon, without the aid of magic. Damn technology. For all of its qualities, it seems the more my people utilized technology, the less they had use for magic. Eventually, I became one of the few magic users left on the entire planter. People would come to me and ask 'How do you do these wonderful abilities?' and as soon as I say 'magic' they completely shut down. Just a tiny molecule of doubt, which they all had, and they couldn't use magic. Poor bastards."

He sighed, and then looked at the time.

"Aw, crap. Sorry Luna, but I've got a date with Dashie tonight, and I don't want to be late."

He launched himself out of the window, thankfully open this time, and flew off towards Ponyville.

Luna waved after him and then went back to whatever it was she was doing.

(A/N – Hmm, bad ending. Ah, screw it.)

Chapter 57

The Forgemaster was quite possibly having one of the worst nights of his life. And he had to put down a group of zombies in the dead of night once! Princess Celestia, in her infinite wisdom, had heard of his massacre of the diamond dogs bastards and forced him to go to an all-noble, high-society social function! Needless to say, he wanted to kill all of them, as he did the diamond dogs.

The Forgemaster was seated on a chair directly in front of the table loaded with foodstuffs. He held his head in his hooves and silently shivered, not out of sadness or self-pity, but out of anger! All of the other ponies had the good sense to not be anywhere near him, especially since he was armed with a fork. No telling the kind of damage he could do with a fork if he was pissed off. But, for all of the noble-ponies tact in distancing themselves from him, that didn't work especially well because he could still hear them. Celestia had forbidden him from using his magic to block out their incessant noise.

They prattled on about clothing and jewelry and food and the latest gossip.

He wanted to cave in their skulls with a hammer. Or a ladle, whichever he could find first. Then again, he was not adverse to using this chair… or that one… or perhaps that statue… maybe the chandelier? So absorbed was he in his musings about the quickest way to butcher all of the ponies in this room that he failed to notice the approach of a dignified noble-pony, this pony must have been important because he was surrounded by a group of other noble-ponies. It doesn't take a genius to know that if a noble-pony was being followed by other noble-ponies than this pony being followed must be quite important.

He did, however, notice when said pony spoke to him.

"I say, sir. You do not look like you are enjoying yourself at this little soiree." This pony must've been brave, very brave.

The Forgemaster did his best to remain polite, even under the circumstances; The Forgemaster hissed out, "I am struggling to restrain myself from physically assaulting all of the selfish, arrogant, hypocritical sycophants in this room, sir. These parasites without any ponyity (Humanity.), or dignity, or sense of self, or worth, they're as slick and slimy as an oil spill on an ice berg, and just as toxic. They can all rot in the deepest, foulest pits of Tartarus."

At this, the speaking pony's hangers-on took a large step back.

Surprisingly, the pony chuckled, and leaned in to whisper, "You don't know how many times I want to do that very thing, sir, and how similarly we feel they should meet in the afterlife. The name's Fancypants, nice to meet you." He held out a hoof, which The Forgemaster shook, gratefully.

"Crimson Hammer. It's always nice to meet a noble that remembers that the word has 2 meanings."

Fancypants took on a wry smile, "Hmm… yes. I remember reading something to that effect when I was but a foal… in school." He paused for a moment, "So what brings you here? You certainly don't appear to be enjoying yourself."

"In punishment for an action that I find to be incredibly justified, Celestia has forced me to come here." The Forgemaster waved a hoof back towards the bulk of the party, "She ought to be over there somewhere."

Fancypants inhaled sharply, "Indeed? I wasn't told that the Princess was here-"

"There is more than 1 princess. Celestia is not the princess, she is a princess. Don't disrespect Luna."

Fancypants bowed his head, "I sincerely apologize, and will do so if I ever meet Princess Luna, as well. It's been so long since we've had more than one princess, but I should have been more aware. But, back to my original point, I didn't see Princess Celestia, or a large crowd of ponies crowding her, are you sure she's here?"

"Yes, she is here. She took a card out of my deck and decided to come here in a disguise." The Forgemaster conjured a deck of cards out of nowhere and began to shuffle them, "No, you do not get extra points if you guess who she is. But, a big hint would be any pony that actively looks relieved."

Fancypants nodded, "I understand. I am hardly so important as any one of the princesses, but I have more than my fair share of ponies seeking my attention and gratification. I can only assume that it would be even worse for her." Here he hesitated for a moment, "Do you mind teaching me that spell? It's been ages since I was able to go to a bar like a normal stallion my age should be able to."

The Forgemaster's horn lit up for a moment, and then a small flash of light, accompanied by a soft noise was heard.

"Alright, you should know some basic transformation spells, now. Not enough to turn you into a dragon, but enough for you to change your coat-color, maybe your cutie-mark too, if you concentrate."

Fancypants blinked owlishly for a moment, and then said, "Did you just implant memories in my head?"

"Of course! Quickest way to teach without actually having to teach. Don't expect a repeat, though. I admit I took pity on you for a moment. Living in the spot light for anypony to see is quite stressful. It's nice to get out and be treated like anypony else for a little bit."

Fancypants smiled a genuine smile, "Thank you, Mr. Hammer, I am truly indebted to you. If there's anything you ever need, I'll help you with it."

The Forgemaster grinned, showing his suddenly sharp and shark-like teeth, "I might need some help smuggling some bodies out of Canterlot. Think you're up for it?"

Fancypants didn't bat an eyelash; he just waved a hoof at him and said, "Just bury them in the Canterlot labyrinth. Get far enough in and nopony will see."

The Forgemaster burst out laughing, and after a minute or so of die-hard laughing, wiped a tear from his eye and said, "I like you. If you know anything about me then you'd know that that is an accomplishment. I have a place down in Ponyville, if you ever feel the need to get away from busy-city life for a little while; my door's always open."

Fancypants put a hoof to his chin, "With some transformation spells and a safe house far, far from the city: I don't believe that I'll be going suicidal anytime soon." Both laughed at the joke.

"So, tell me about yourself, my good stallion."

"I am a stallion of refined if simple tastes. I enjoy fighting, fine liqueurs, long walks on the beach, the moonlight, meeting new ponies, pegasi, killing, and cooking. In fact, once while I was drunk and walking along the beach in the dead of night, a pegasi I have never met before attacked me and after a duel that lasted a few moments I killed him with a frying pan. Ah, good times."

Fancypants grinned at him, "You're kidding!" apparently not put off at all by the story, at The Forgemaster's nod Fancypants laughed and said, "I wish for an experience where I can tie all of my likes together in one, as you did."

The Forgemaster laughed along with him for a few moments before suddenly stopping and looking across the room, after looking back to Fancypants he sighed and made to stand up onto his hooves. He shook Fancypants' hoof once more before leaving.

As he left he said, "Celestia is calling me, can't leave her hanging if I want to spend any more time on this planet."

Fancypants chuckled and waved after his new-found friend, but was immediately crushed under the weight of the bottom-feeders coming back to him. He sighed, and then put on a forced smile, mask sliding back into place.

'At this rate, I'll be taking him up on his offer before he knows it…' Fancypants thought.

The Forgemaster made his way across the room, all of the ponies in his way subconsciously moving out of his way. He moved across the room, searching for his disguised quarry which he found within moments, the room was not all that large. He walked up to a group of about 6 ponies that were talking with each other, 4 of these unconsciously flinched away from him. His shear anger and hate for these noble ponies making itself evident through a subtle, though still quite noticeable, drop in temperature and a shiver running down the backs of anypony that so much as saw him in their peripheral vision.

He approached the group and gave the 2 mares that hadn't flinched a knowing smile, "Lunar Eclipse! Solar Flare! How does it feel to be the 2 most eligible bachelorettes in Equestria?"

The 2 mares, now dubbed Lunar Eclipse and Solar Flare, glared at him without saying a word. Some stallions who had heard the announcement, however, perked up and looked in their direction. The immediately looked away when The Forgemaster glared at them.

Solar Flare was a beautiful mare with a golden colt and a mane that ranged from red to orange as the light caught it, her cutie-mark was of a large star, similar to Twilight's, with a large spurt jutting off of it. Lunar Eclipse was noticeably shorter than her counterpart and possessed a striking dark blue coat and a black mane. Her cutie-mark, on the other hand, was of a similarly sized star but covered up, evidently a lunar eclipse shown. Both mares were beautiful, and both were unicorns. Both, unbeknownst to anypony at the party beside them and The Forgemaster were actually the co-rulers of Equestria in disguise.

'Solar Flare' smirked at him, "Not having a good time so we must bring down others, eh, Crimson?"

Pointedly ignoring her, The Forgemaster turned to 'Lunar Eclipse' and stage whispered, "Hey Eclipse! Want to know some gossip I heard about Celestia?"

While the other 4 nobles in the group gasped and Solar Flare rolled her eyes, Lunar Eclipse nodded eagerly.

Still stage whispering, "I heard that the reason Celestia never lets down her wings is because she doesn't want any pony to know when she gets a wing-boner!"

He and Eclipse started chuckling like mad ponies, fiendishly taking delight in the gossip. The other 4 noble ponies gave a gasp of distaste and quickly left the scene, while Solar Flare had to cut back her retort by biting her lip hard.

Taking great care to appear calm, Solar Flare said, "It would not be wise for you to say such things, Princess Celestia may catch wind of it." She put extra emphasis on 'may' so as to remind the 2 who exactly she was.

The 2 just chuckled harder, finding ironic delight in how hard Celestia was sticking to her role.

Eclipse spoke back, "Oh, come off it Flarey! Live a little! Quit being your old, stuffy self!"

"Yes, Flarey. It wouldn't do for you to fly off the handle."

The 2 stared at 'Flarey's blank face for a few more moments in silence, but soon struggled to keep in the giggles. They quickly failed, Eclipse breaking first and sputtering into laughter, which made The Forgemaster lose what little control he had.

'Solar' whispered angrily to him, "This was supposed to be your punishment!"

He whispered back, calmly, "And I'm taking some pleasure in it! A little. Do you know how annoying it is to even be near those things in ponies' bodies? They prattle on about useless stuff constantly! I only met one who I like, and he was swarmed by them. Poor Fancypants."

"Fancypants? That's who you met? I find him to be one of the easier to get along with nobles, and in fact, I like him more than any of the others. At least he doesn't propose useless additions to the city. He actually tries to help Equestrians in general."

The stallion in question arrived on the scene, surrounded by his crowd of cronies, "Oh, I say. Did I just hear a mare as beautiful as you sing my praises? Oh surely, this must be a gift from Celestia herself. I am truly honored for you to think that way of me, ma'am." He took Solar's hoof in his and gently kissed it, making the mare blush.

"Oh my, but this is too much!" The Forgemaster said, chuckling to himself.

"Miss, I believe my friend Crimson here told the room that your name was Solar Flare. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I believe you already know me, but I must introduce myself. I am Fancypants."

Celestia calmly said, "It is nice to finally meet you in the flesh, Fancypants."

Fancypants smiled at her and asked, "Would you do me the honor of going out later for dinner?"

Everything was silent.

Fancypants' sycophants were looking on in shock, even though they hadn't heard the conversation earlier and would have no idea that this was Celestia, they clearly had never seen Fancypants ask a mare on a date. On the other hand, he, Luna, and Celestia were silent mostly because of shock. As likely as not, Celestia had never been asked on a date. The Forgemaster had a feeling, a large feeling, that is, that Fancypants knew exactly who he was asking on a date. It didn't take a genius; you were just told by somepony that Celestia was here in disguise, said pony immediate goes off after saying that Celestia was calling him, the pony that the pony approaches is named Solar Flare. The evidence is obvious, in any event.

Solar's voice broke the silence, "Well, I don't see why not…"

"Excellent, I know the perfect restaurant we can go for dinner." Fancypants checked his watch, "Oh, bothers, it seems I must be somewhere, I'll talk to you later then Miss Flare. Have a nice day Miss Flare, Miss Eclipse, Crimson." Fancypants waved as he walked away.

The Forgemaster looked over to see a beaming Solar and a similarly affected Eclipse. The younger happy for the elder while the elder was just happy to be going on a date like a normal pony. Evidently, even in their boundless wisdom, they had rarely, if ever, gone out as normal ponies.

"Excuse me; I have to go speak with Fancypants."

The Forgemaster ran after Fancypants, and found him in moments down the hall he had left. The Forgemaster barreled through the crowd following Fancypants and settled into a more sedate pace next to the stallion. The Forgemaster leaned in towards Fancypants and had a quiet conversation with him.

"You know the mare you just asked out was Celestia, right?" he whispered, nopony hearing besides the intended target.

Fancypants whispered back, "I had my suspicions. But, that will hardly deter me from courting Solar Flare in a gentle-coltly fashion. Rest assured that I didn't ask just because she was a princess, I asked because I'd like to get to know the mare behind the mask she puts on as a politician. Trust me when I say that my intentions are in no way devious or anything but honorable. I don't intend for this to affect her duties as a princess either."

"Damnit, if you haven't covered all of my worries. Thanks, I was just here to make sure you knew what you were getting into. And, just so you know, she's my boss. And, whether or not I like you as a pony, if you mess with her: you'll be lucky to have any intact bones in your body when I'm through with you."

Fancypants waved him off, "Yes, yes. I'm sure my end will be suitably horrific. But I wouldn't try to hurt my princess intentionally. Or, my marefriend if it comes to that."

No reply came, so Fancypants looked over. There was nopony beside him, but there was a noticeable hole closing in the ranks of the leeches surrounding him. Evidently, The Forgemaster had made his escape, but was in no way gentle towards the noble ponies, as some looked to be nursing heads and favoring legs. Clearly, he had not been exaggerating nor lying when he had said earlier that he disliked noble-ponies.

The Forgemaster quickly hoofed it back to Celestia and Luna.

As he approached them, nopony nearby, he said, "You 2 chose awful disguises. You didn't change the basic concept at all! You're both dark and light, moon and sun, nighttime and daytime. It wouldn't take a genius to find you out."

Eclipse retorted, "Well so~rry! We don't have as much experience in this as you, you know."

'Solar', completely ignoring the argument, said, "I can't believe I've got a date! Oh, it feels like I am young again, getting all the colts to swoon with just a flick of my wings. It gets old, you know, sitting on a throne all day and inspiring awe and fear in equal measure in your subjects. It's nice to feel this way."

The Forgemaster shrugged, "Grass is always greener on the other side." The 2 contemplated that for a few moments, until he asked, "So, why was I called over here originally?"

Solar's eyes went wide in realization, "Oh, we received more intelligence on the griffons." After setting up a quick spell to block their voices from traveling anymore than a foot or so, Celestia continued, "Apparently, they've built up faster than we predicted. They should be ready to march on Equestria in little more than 3 months."

The Forgemaster thought for a few moments, before saying, "Give me your best pony and I can delay them by a few more months, maybe a year."

"What do you plan?"

"Supply depots and manufacturing centers plus explosives equals a few more month of peace for out little ponies."

"Alright, I'm sure if anypony can pull it off it would be you, Forgemaster. Anyway, our best pony in the field is a stallion by the code-name 'Silent Knife'. He is currently in Griffonia and gathering intelligence as we speak. We'll get you prepared and send you out there as soon as we can."

"All I need is a knife and a bow and arrows, along with those explosives. Or, if you want me to get all technological on their asses I'll need a suppressed pistol and a sniper's rifle, some detonators, C-4, a ghillie suit, perhaps some magnetic mines?"

He looked at the glazed over expressions on the other 2 and sighed, "Alright, just give me the explosives. I'll do it with my bare hands."

"Great! Let's get back to the castle and prepare, and I suppose there are some things you should know about Silent Knife. For one thing he, and all of our operatives, has had training in shape shifting, so he's currently under cover as a sergeant in the capital city's police force. And… he's a little… off…"

Chapter 58

By and large, the trip to the griffon kingdom of Griffonia was uneventful. Then again, these are The Forgemaster's standards of 'uneventful'. After leaving the briefing on his mission with Celestia and Luna, The Forgemaster was immediately sent out towards Griffonia with a small patrol of his own Royal Guards, the Guards traveling in civilian clothing, or none at all as the case may be, who would stop at the border and return home after he was escorted there. The Forgemaster had grumbled about an 'immortal man with a photographic memory needing a guide', but relented and allowed the Guards to come with him after no small amount of cajoling from both princesses and Shining Armor. Celestia assured him that the girls that had befriended him, they thought, would receive a letter from her detailing why exactly he had to leave for about a week. Now, a week isn't really enough time for most black ops operators, but then again, most black ops operators can't strip a mind of all intelligence from across a city and summon awesome and terrible magics to their side. The Forgemaster, on the other hand, could easily do so and often does. In fact, he had been reading minds for so long that sometimes he picks up on others' thoughts if he allows his mind to wander.

Now, when I said that the trip was 'uneventful', what I really meant was 'uneventful by The Forgemaster's standards'. One would think that these aren't so different, and yet, they would be completely and utterly wrong. Most would assume an ambush by a relatively large group of bandits to be an eventful occurrence, but not him.

The Forgemaster and his escort of 3 Royal Guards ponies were walking towards the border between Griffonia and Equestria, and were close to the border, no more than 20 or so miles away. The Forgemaster had demanded to walk instead of fly, his reasoning being that Griffons would spot him otherwise. The Forgemaster was traveling as The Forgemaster, the guards traveling with him had no idea that they were actually escorting their commander but they settled for escorting his second-in-command. The trip before this moment had been everyone's standard of uneventful with absolutely nothing happening except for maybe a few games of I-spy and constant walking, however, this changed when the group was accosted by 17 odd bandits, with a scattering of ponies, griffons, and diamond dogs throughout the group. In a word; a textbook ambush.

"Oi!" A rather large griffon bellowed out, "You lot are gonna give us all yer gold 'n bits or we'll clobber yah straight tah hell!"

After shouting their demands to the much smaller group, the bandits assumed the group of 'civilians' and 1 large… thing would surrender, the one thing they didn't expect was for the large unidentifiable creature in the smaller group tolaugh at them.

The Forgemaster leaned down to his guards' height and said fairly loudly, "A classic tactical blunder, revealing themselves to an enemy who hadn't already seen them yet!" The Forgemaster then dissolved into more laughter, leaving all present, guards included, with a dumbfounded expression on their face.

The bandits, stunned as they were, took a moment to formulate a proper response. When they had finished creating said response, they unleashed it upon the smaller group with a series of cries and a full-on charge.

The Forgemaster focused magic into the palm of his hand and gestured to the guards to stay close. Once the guards were close enough, and the bandits were in range, The Forgemaster released the pent-up magical energies in his palm into the ground directly beneath him. He released the energy as a concussive shockwave, and when it hit it immediately went in all directions, stunning all of the nearby bandits, the guards were left unharmed by The Forgemaster.

Standing over his guards, The Forgemaster said, "See? This is why you never ambush someone. It never ends well."

With that, The Forgemaster strode over to the bandit that had spoken, presumably the leader, and stood over the stunned griffon.

The Forgemaster began his 'conversation' with the griffon with a sharp kick to the bandit's side, "Now, normally I'd let you live, on the off chance that you may come back later and actually prove to put up an interesting fight, but no: you're just way too pitiful. There's no chance you could ever learn enough to be anything other than a mild annoyance. I'll just have to kill you."

The griffon roared protests as The Forgemaster's boot was brought down onto his skull. With the sound of crushing, snapping, and cracking of bone and the squishing of liquidized brains, the griffon died, his skull crushed and his brain destroyed. The Forgemaster looked up and around to find the rest of the bandits, but there were none, as the guards escorting him had either dealt with them or they had fled into the wilderness off of the path.

Rejoining his escort, The Forgemaster said, "It's all fun and games 'til you get curb-stomped." He sighed, "Alright, you lot; go back to Canterlot. I can make it from here and it wouldn't do for me to be seen approaching the border with a group of ponies that mysteriously leaves me immediately after I cross it."

The guards agreed with him, well, maybe not so much as 'agreed' as 'not willing to go against their commander's orders'.

The Forgemaster watched them walk back the way they had come. As soon as the group disappeared behind a copse of trees, he looked around for any witnesses. Alive ones, anyway; the dead don't give up their secrets so easily. Seeing nothing that could report him to the griffons, The Forgemaster transformed. Instead of a pony, he turned into a griffon. A rather large griffon, it was true, but a completely plain one. Plain being the primary weapon in any spy's arsenal, exotic made sure you were remembered, but plain is forgotten in moments.

The Forgemaster looked around one more time and, seeing no one, took off with his wings towards Griffonia.

As he flew the relatively short distance, he thought long and hard about his cover story and what his name should be. Eventually, he decided on Julius, after some close personal friend of his long ago. He decided on not needing a background seeing as how he could just claim that it was personal, and left it at that.

'Alright… Capital City is 183.28 miles from the border in an exact 37.2904 degree left turn from this position… I'll be there in 2 hours, tops.' He thought.

wWwWwWw

3 ½ hours later

'Ugh… that thunderstorm came out of nowhere, I swear! Whichever god just so happens to control the weather here; you're a prick.'

The Forgemaster, slightly singed from a close encounter of the electrical kind, finally arrived at his destination: slightly delayed and worse for wear, but very much alive and eager to finish his task. According to a sign conveniently placed near the front gate; this city was called Kyradeth. Weird name, one not based on some obscure human town, for some reason.

This city was fairly large, by pony standards, tiny by human standards, but given that many griffons live in the country and were hunters, this city was exceptionally large for such a society. It wasn't altogether different than Canterlot, actually: it was situated on top of a mountain, not perched on the side, however. The ever-so-helpful sign from earlier put the population at about 12000 griffons give or take a thousand. The center of the city was a large open area that would be known by Romans as the forum for the city. It was both a gathering place for public announcements and festivals as well as the primary location for merchants to sell their wares. On the peak of the mountain lies the Royal Palace, another similarity to Canterlot: the palace was at the highest point.

The Forgemaster swooped down from on high and landed in the central marketplace. The information that Celestia had given him said that Agent Silent Knife lived not that far from the central plaza, in an apartment complex called 'The Eagle's Nest'. Apartment number 327: third floor, second hallway, seventh room. A very orderly system of numbering, if The Forgemaster said so himself.

Scanning the nearby buildings, the ones directly adjacent to the plaza, The Forgemaster found his target building a few doors down a side street. Thankfully it was still daylight out for the next hour or so, or it would've been much more difficult. The apartment was helpfully identified with both a name and an image of an eagle's nest. The Forgemaster quickly made his way over.

Ascending the stairs and locating the correct door without difficulty, The Forgemaster knocked politely on the door. He was answered in a few moments by a smallish griffon with red highlights, of all things.

The Forgemaster held out a letter towards the 'griffon' which was more than likely Agent Silent Knife in disguise, and said "Letter for a Mr. Zoancollapsig?"

Weirdest. Cover name. Ever.

The 'griffon' in question said, "Yep. That's me." And took the letter.

The Forgemaster nodded and made as though to walk away, though as soon as the door closed with a soft *click* behind him, he turned back towards the door and leaned against the wall opposite. Not 20 seconds later, the door opened again and looked down each hallway frantically, before resting his eyes on The Forgemaster, who just so happened to be smiling cheekily at him. The pony agent gestured wildly at him, inviting him inside his apartment.

The letter had some pretty important information, though it was incredibly short.

'Dear, Silent Knife. The individual who gives you this letter is a pony spy who will be in Kyradeth for a few days on a sabotage campaign. During his stay, he will be your superior officer. Please assist him to you greatest ability. Signed, Princess Celestia.'

The letter was stamped with the royal seal, confirming its authenticity.

Once The Forgemaster was inside the sparsely furnished apartment, Silent Knife quickly closed the door behind him, locked it and then immediately went to the windows and then closed them and drew the blinds. The apartment was now completely dark, with nothing providing any sort of luminescence to the room. This problem was solved a few moments later when Silent Knife lit a single candle and placed it on a low table. Both occupants in the room sat down in front of the candle, and both removed their disguises at once.

Silent Knife was a small neon blue unicorn with an electric yellow mane. His cutie-mark appeared to be a light bulb that was broken and sparking. Silent Knife, upon seeing The Forgemaster as Crimson Hammer, gaped in awe: evidently, he had not been expecting an alicorn, or a pony of his size. He easily dwarfed the smaller unicorn and would likely dwarf most griffons as well.

The Forgemaster spoke first, "I am Crimson Hammer, Lord-General of the Royal Guard and personal advisor/bodyguard to the princesses." He held out a hoof for a hoof shake.

Silent Knife grinned at him and shook his hoof before replying, "Broken Bulb, spy extraordinaire, schizophrenic, and 1 of 2."

Silent Knife appeared to twitch for a moment, before replying in a completely different tone, "Shattered Globe, master information gatherer, Grandmaster of 'Electric Earth' style, and 1 of 2."

The Forgemaster raised a brow at the first annunciation of '1 of 2', but realization dawned when the second voice spoke. Evidently, Agent Silent Knife suffered from… well, he can't really suffer from it if they're both aware of the other, so… he has multiple personalities, and interestingly enough; they are both aware of each other. He also identified the 'Electric Earth' tile of martial arts, unicorns that are learned in this style pump electricity into the air, the ground, their own bodies, anything really, and then use them as a weapon. The style was known for a paralization effect that the style's attacks and defends had on their opponent.

The Forgemaster made his comprehension known to the… pair when he said, "Ah, so you have 2 personalities."

The multi-individual in front of him nodded vigorously.

"Yep, yep, yep!" Broken Bulb yelled out.

"Tone it down, Bulb, you never know who could be listening." Scolded Shattered Globe.

"Shut up, Globe! You know, as well as I do, that we made this room sound proofed!"

It was very interesting watching someone have an argument with himself, and watch one side lose. Evidently either, the 2 were so familiar with themselves that arguments sprung up all of the time, or they honestly couldn't stand each other anymore.

"Wait!" a silence descends upon the room, "did you hear that?" asked Broken Bulb.

"No, you crazy fool. There's nothing there." Shattered Globe replied.

"I'm not crazy… wait, yes I am. But it's the only thing that's kept me sane!" Broken Bulb yelled back… to himself.

"You hear things, you bloody oaf! If it wasn't for me we would've been caught ages ago!" Globe declared.

A few more minutes of arguing, and The Forgemaster had enough, "Alright, stop it you 2." The 2 abruptly stopped, "All I need are some high-valued targets and I can deal with them. Just point a few out."

Silent Knife grinned, and Broken Bulb said, "Sure-"

"-we can do that!" with Shattered Globe finishing.

"Alright, just let me ask a few questions first. How do you hide this in public?"

The dual-being smirked, "We aren't fools, despite the arguments we have." Broken Bulb started.

"We alternate control over out body on missions so neither one of us feels left out, and the pony not in control just 'observes' really, and maybe supplies some advice." Globe stated second.

"For instance, I have control on this mission. Out there," He gestured towards the windows, "I am in control. In this apartment, we can be ourselves, though." Broken Bulb finished.

"Alright. That sates the only question I really had." The Forgemaster said while rubbing his chin.

Silent Knife appeared surprised, "You mean you're not gonna ask how we got this way-"

"Or which one of us is the original-"

"Or if we might snap and kill ourselves-"

"Or how we co-exist-"

"Or-"

The Forgemaster cut them off, "No. I don't need to know these things; all I need to know is whether or not you'll stab me in the back and whether or not you have good intelligence on some targets."

The collective entity, newly dubbed Silent Knife as a whole, smirked at the question, "Of course we have good information-"Broken Bulb began.

"Question is: which ones do we blow up-" Shattered Globe continued.

"And which ones do we completely annihilate!" Finished an exuberant Broken Bulb.

Chapter 59

After The Forgemaster's meeting with Silent Knife, who turned out to be 2 different sentient beings inhabiting one body, the 3 of them decided to meet the next day. The Forgemaster felt that it was best; no sense in being a spy if you go to meet another and stay the night at his apartment. Honestly, even a rookie wouldn't be that dumb. The Forgemaster found himself an apartment just down the street from Silent Knife's, under-furnished but The Forgemaster didn't plan on staying any longer than he had to. The next day, he and Silent Knife just so happened to find each other at a small bar in town, completely coincidentally; no previous planning here! The Forgemaster may have been running a tad late, as it were. He had decided to acquire a few things first.

The Forgemaster walked into the bar in his griffon disguise and saw the red highlighted griffon that could only be Silent Knife sitting in the corner with his back to the wall, clearly not an amateur in espionage. Silent Knife was sitting at a table and had a drink in front of him, the entire bar around him almost completely empty save for him, The Forgemaster, and the barkeep. The Forgemaster offered a small nod in greeting and got an angry glare in return.

When he approached, Broken Bulb snarled out, "You're late!"

With a calm tone of voice and a neutral face, The Forgemaster replied as he sat down across from him, "A wizard is never late, and neither is he early. He always arrives precisely when he means to."

Broken Bulb said in an awed, child-like voice, "You're a wizard?" he received a slow nod in response.

Shattered Globe took over from his fellow tenant and said, "You mean to say that you planned on making us wait for 3 hours?"

"Indeed, had to pick up something."

The Forgemaster reached into the bag he was carrying and took out a sword, a few scrolls, what appeared to be a map, a few files, a shiny officer's cap that was currently adorning The Forgemaster's head, and finally a large plush leather chair that somehow fit inside the bag.

The dual being took a few moments before either replied.

Shattered Globe broke the silence, "Why did you get that?"

"Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it." The Forgemaster replied, as if it excused the small pile of things on the table.

Broken Bulb asked next, "Where did you get it?"

"I was walking down the street and looked through a window. What I saw was an unlocked window."

Shattered Globe said, "Why would you steal these? I mean, really? Of all the things to steal, why these?"

"I wrote the book on what to do with things not properly secured to the floor with nails."

Broken Bulb replied, in a quiet tone of voice that was full of hope, "You're a kleptomaniac too?"

The Forgemaster leaned back in his seat, "Nope. I just love stealing things."

While they nodded, Shattered Globe said, "Seriously, though why did you steal these?""

The Forgemaster sighed, "These all came from some officer in the griffon military's office, I figured they would be useful. Then again, I might have just taken them for fun."

"Are you sure you aren't a kleptomaniac?"

"Hey, it's not like I have an uncontrollable craving for stealing things. Besides, we all have problems. Maybe some of us just don't like putting a fancy name or title on things."

The Forgemaster was cut off by Broken Bulb saying, "Yeah! Like you're a pyromaniac-"

And Shattered Globe continuing, "-and you're a dipsomaniac-"

"-and you're a terrible flirt-"

"-and you're scared of even the slightest contact with a mare-"

"Well at least I have decency, you chase after every mare we see!"

"Decency, he says. Says the same stallion that gets so drunk most nights that I have to walk us home."

"I still don't understand how that works."

"Me neither, but it does work so don't question it."

"Why can't I question things?"

"Because you're too stupid to remember the answers."

"Well you're mother's a whorse!"

"We share the same mum, you fool."

"Well I never asked her!"

"Neither did I. But –"

"Stop it!" The Forgemaster snapped.

The pair abruptly stopped the admittedly humorous argument between them and stared at The Forgemaster.

"I get it: you're both total opposites. Now, please stop arguing. Let's get to work, damnit."

Silent Knife stared for a few more moments before Broken Bulb said, "Wow, you're really stressed aren't you?"

"You should try some deep breathing, or maybe meditation." Shattered Globe replied.

The Forgemaster groaned, "Ugh. Just stop, please. Tell me you have something for me to blow all to hell. That's all the stress relief I need."

Silent Knife brightened, "You're in luck-"

"-we have just the thing. Plenty of spare explosives in this place-"

"It's the Griffon Army Armory, kind of a mouthful-"

"So we just call it GAH!"

"No, only Bulb calls it that, the rest of us, and by us I mean myself, my informants, and the other spies, call it by its proper name."

"Anyway, we found an entrance through the old sewer system that ought to lead you there."

"What, you've never tried to see if it works?" The Forgemaster questioned.

"Of course we have, we know the tunnels lead you to the right place."

"It's just that we've never tried it before because the guards might notice if some 'civilians' pop up in the middle of their armory."

"And they wouldn't take it that well; in fact, you could say that they would feel murderous about the whole deal."

"The best part is that the griffons keep their own demolitions explosives here, so the boom will be much larger than if you just use your explosives."

"I always fancied blowing up that place, shame I won't be anywhere nearby to see it."

"Why? Where will you be?" The Forgemaster asked.

He grinned, "I and Broken Bulb will be cowering in the safety of our apartment."

"Oh, no: you 2 are coming with me."

"What! But, but…" Broken Bulb noticed the look on The Forgemaster's face, "Oh, fine!"

"Why? Scared?"

"Nah, I just said that cowering thing to make it look like we were scared so you wouldn't make us come. We don't like going out on missions, too dangerous for any competent spymaster to do."

"Devious bastard."

"Hey, spies are meant to do whatever they can in their power to even the odds and shave off chances. Going smack dab into the middle of an enemy base for a simple demolitions job is incredibly risky."

"I think you're just terrible at being sneaky…"

"Hah! Us? Not sneaky? Well, you clearly haven't heard the rumors… In any case: we are more than able to infiltrate this armory, it's just that we don't want to. We still will, 'cause you're making us come."

"Well, what are we sitting around here for?"

"Let's go! Let me swing by my place first, gotta pick up some equipment…"

wWwWwWw

The armory for the griffon army wasn't located anywhere near their capital city. That is completely understandable, no one wants a giant fortress filled to the brim with weapons, armor, and training field next door. Seriously, though, this place had enough explosives in it to level the entire city if the griffons so wished it. The armory was far enough away so that the detonation of said explosives wouldn't affect the city, save for maybe a shockwave or 2. Anyways, this place held a lot of the griffons' war material, if their armory was blown up the griffons would be set back at least 7 months. After that, they would no doubt not keep all their eggs in one basket and it will be more difficult to reduce their logistics. Then again, 7 months would be long enough to give the Equestrians time to train and prepare for the war.

The Forgemaster and Silent Knife were on top of a hill roughly 2 miles from the fortress. They had waited for night to fall and were now preparing to enter the castle at the very base, and work their way up through various abandoned tunnels and the sewage system. The griffons had built the fortress large enough to have its own hospital and factory, amongst other thing, so it was no wonder they needed a sewage system. If they didn't have the system, the entire fortress would overflow in its own waste in no more than a month.

The Forgemaster eyed his now pony and completely clothed in black companion and asked, "What's in the bag?"

Shattered Globe replied, "Our equipment, everything from frying pans to a small bomb we whipped up last minute."

"Got a plan?"

"Yeah, an informant of ours supplied the schematics and the floor plan to the fortress, though that doesn't mean they weren't changed. This place is a few generations old and the plans are from then, they haven't updated the plans. Anyways, here's a copy." He tossed a copy to The Forgemaster.

"On the specifics, no magic. They have some of those new magic detectors that, coincidentally, run on magic. It's confusing to be honest, reports say they aren't very reliable but, hey, you never know. We may get unlucky; so no spells, at all, while inside there."

He pulled out a different map and rolled it out across the ground they were on, "Alright, here are the directions through the tunnels we got. They weren't in any place we could find, so we went in there and made ourselves a map. There shouldn't be any guards; at least, we never encountered any. Truth be told, we were planning on hitting this place soon. Fortune merely provided us with a partner."

The map showed the various tunnels and the way through them, a path was marked with red ink through the crisscrossing images of the tunnels. Thanks to The Forgemaster's eidetic memory, a glance no more than 20 seconds long and he had the entire floor plan memorized and the directions memorized, too. Apparently, if the floor plan to the main castle level hadn't changed, they would pop up in the dungeon. From there, they would silently make their way through the castle and into the main armory, which was located in a small unassuming corner to the fortress. However, this relatively small building contained nearly all of the explosives the armory had to offer. A simple chain reaction would wreath this entire complex in fire.

The Forgemaster undid the transformation spell keeping Crimson Hammer alive, the alicorn faded away to reveal a large human. Despite being pre-warned, Silent Knife still gaped at the sight,

"You said no magic, I do no magic. Steal missions were always my favorite, to be honest. I still haven't forgotten the proper methods, so don't worry about me."

The Forgemaster had gotten himself outfitted with a simple, all encompassing black cloth outfit. From head to toe, his entire body was covered, the only space open to the air were small holes for the eys and 1 for the mouth.

Broken Bulb spoke, "C'mon, let's go! I want to get this done so we can watch the explosion!"

Shattered Globe replied, "As much as I… enjoy explosions, a mission such as this cannot be rushed."

"Shut up, you 2. Globe's in charge of the body as we go in. Now let's go."

Shattered Globe dutifully acquired control, momentarily ignoring a pouting Broken Bulb before control was established, and the 2 infiltrators moved through the night and approached the castle slowly and stealthily. They moved down the hill at a dead sprint, crossed the plains in between at a light jog, moved through a small forest adjacent to the castle at a crouched walk, and approached the final 100 meters at a slow crawl.

The entire night was dark, the already dim glow given off by the crescent moon completely obscured by a thick cloud cover: perfect for any stealth mission. As the 2 infiltrators were covered in black, there was little chance of anyone seeing them.

The 2 inched their way across the small open plain that was cut down near the castle to give sentries a clear view. Slowly but surely, the 2 made their way across. The 2 made it across in only a few moments, as the darkness protected them from the sentries' view.

The side of the fortress they were on had a small grate in it. Silent Knife worked the cover off of it and stole inside, The Forgemaster easily following despite his size. The 2 worked their way through a relative maze of tunnels; thankfully the map provided was accurate. Silent Knife truly was an excellent spy, if he had to enter these tunnels each time and use precious night time to draw a map in the dark and have the map turn out accurate was nothing short of exemplary.

Eventually, after several minutes of moving through an abandoned sewer, which thankfully wasn't as full of waste as it could have been, the infiltrators found the exit: a small grate that led to the dungeon. Silent Knife inched a small angled mirror on a stick up through the grate, and looked around. After a few moments, he declared the cell clear and slowly lifted the grate off of its seat. He set the grate to the side, and pulled himself up with a small boost from The Forgemaster who quickly followed his example.

The Forgemaster whispered to Shattered Globe, "These griffons are stupid. Who connects their sewer system to the dungeons? It's an obvious escape method."

Shattered Globe whispered back, "This wasn't originally the dungeon, it was originally the commode."

The Forgemaster scowled, "Aw, shit."

Shattered Globe grinned, "Exactly."

Shattered Globe indicated the door with a flick of his head, urging The Forgemaster to go first. When The Forgemaster looked, the coast was clear. As they passed each cell, they noticed that each didn't have any prisoners. They were all empty, for some reason. Usually, even during a time of peace, there was at least someone in the jail. This armory was practically a town unto itself.

Shaking that off, The Forgemaster continued his journey. The 2 of them kept walking down the line of cells, until, eventually, they reached the guard post, an alcove in the wall with a small desk running in front of it.

There was only the one guard there, and he had his back turned towards the wall opposite the cells. The guard appeared to be reading to the light from a small lamp hung on the wall. Apparently, with no prisoners, he had let his guard down.

The Forgemaster silently chuckled to himself, 'A guard letting his guard down…'

The Forgemaster looked back to Shattered Globe and pointed towards the guard. Shattered Globe took the lead and looked towards the guard, when he saw the guard he froze, until realizing the guard had his back turned; Shattered Globe slowly went back to his original place.

Shattered Globe, through some fancy sign language that consisted of drawing a hoof across his neck, told The Forgemaster to eliminate the guard.

The Forgemaster mouthed back, "With gusto."

The Forgemaster silently stood and pulled out a small knife. A truly tiny knife, to be honest, a blade no longer than 4 inches, hell; the hilt was bigger than the blade to accommodate The Forgemaster's prodigious hand-size. Anyways, The Forgemaster silently flipped over the small desk and grabbed the guard from behind. An open left hand snaked over to grab the guard's beak and held it closed while simultaneously pulling the beak down to expose the back of the neck, the right hand armed with a knife drew back and pierced the exposed neck. The knife tore through the thin feathers and skin and impacted the spine, severing it in the process. With no more signals from the brain going to the body telling the lungs to breath and the heart to pump, the guard was killed instantly, without a sound.

The Forgemaster left the guard where he found him, looking for all the world like he was still reading, albeit with a small red mark adorning his neck and a large pool of blood on the floor, though, the blood was blocked from sight by the small desk. Silent Knife gave an approving nod to the quality assassination, and indicated the door next to the guard post, the door to the rest of the castle, the way was now clear to advance to the next level.

The Forgemaster let Shattered Globe take the lead this time. He silently followed the unicorn up the stairs and through the castle. Very rarely did they encounter guards, most of them apparently asleep or the commander of this base was more focused on exterior security rather than interior facility. Thankfully, the occasions where the guards had to be killed to advance were even further in between than actually seeing guards. The Forgemaster found himself whispering various prayers on his way through the castle, though Silent Knife did something completely different. Silent Knife appeared to be whispering parts of a song only putting his code name in.

For instance, he was singing softly at one point before backstabbing a guard, "Si~ilent Knife, Ho~oly Knife, all is calm, all is quiet-"and proceeded to hum the rest of the song under his breath as he stabbed that guard.

Somehow, they managed to go through the castle, the barracks, the training fields, the mess hall, and the commander's office on their way to the armory. Either they took a very slithering path or this base was built strangely, no matter: they got some good intelligence from the commander's office, as well as a shiny new great coat. Nevertheless, the 2 of them found themselves in front of the armory, entrance only denied access by a pair of guards.

The Forgemaster mouthed to Silent Knife, "These guys suck."

Shattered Globe mouthed back, "I know. But it's a good thing."

The Forgemaster pointed to the 2 guards and gestured with his hands, saying that they should spilt up and come up behind the guards and simultaneously cut their throats. Looking left and right, there was enough cover in both directions to make the plan feasible. The 2 spilt up and did just as the plan called for: simultaneous silent kills.

The Forgemaster snuck left and came around behind the guards as Silent Knife snuck right to do the same. The Forgemaster, quiet as a specter, stalked up behind the guards chatting. As he was no more than 5 feet away, The Forgemaster looked left and saw Silent Knife behind his own guard at about the same distance. The 2 nodded and then rushed at their chosen guards.

While Silent Knife chose to insert his knife through the ribs and into the lungs, thereby cutting the scream off in that manner, The Forgemaster did a similar trick to the first guard. The Forgemaster grabbed the guard's beak just like the first, only this time pulling backwards: exposing the throat. The Forgemaster used his knife and created a sawing motion against the throat. Now, normal throat cuts don't work like they do on T.V., the guard wouldn't drop immediately. He might live for up to 2 minutes before dying of blood loss, in those 2 minutes he could run and get help or even call out for help if you didn't puncture the windpipe. This potential problem was solved easily. Instead of merely slitting the throat, The Forgemaster sawed deep, cutting the throat, tendons, muscles, fat, and finally the into windpipe. By cutting the windpipe, he simultaneously speeded the guard's death and also prevented the guard from calling out or even breathing. If the target couldn't make a sound beyond a soft gasp, a perfect silent kill was achieved. Just to make sure, The Forgemaster kept his grip on the griffon until he felt the body go limp, and then finally let the body fall to the ground softly, the feathers providing some modicum of dampening the sound.

The Forgemaster glanced and saw the other guard dead and Silent Knife pulling his blade out. The Forgemaster gestured to get his attention and dragged the bodies into the bushed, Silent Knife quickly doing the same.

The Forgemaster had to jimmy the lock, but once that was done the 2 quickly entered the armory. It was… a wonderland. It was absolutely full of explosives; it almost brought a tear to The Forgemaster's eye. It was beautiful. The Forgemaster quickly snapped out of his reverie and got to work setting up his explosives, only a few would be necessary, but one must never put all of one's hope into one charge. The Forgemaster planned on setting up 7 different explosives, each n a different timer: all set for a half-hour. As he worked, he glanced over to Silent Knife to see him placing small bags and flinging dust around.

He whispered harshly, "What are you doing!"

Silent Knife stopped momentarily and looked at him, "This is potassium, it'll burn a pretty purple. That over there is magnesium: it'll burn a bright white. All of these other things will burn differently. I may be a demolitions expert, sir, but I am also an artist."

Shaking his head at the clearly insane pony, The Forgemaster got back to work. By the time the 2 were done, enough explosives were wired to blow up a small moon, and enough metals were scattered about to, according to Silent Knife, 'Make a beautiful rainbow in the night sky without rain'.

Once the timers were activated, the 2 hauled ass out of there. The 2 didn't even bother with being quiet, they just ran as quickly as possible to the exit. Any griffon that saw them was so stunned by their sudden appearance that the 2 were too far gone by the time the griffons regained their senses for them to catch. The Forgemaster even managed to punch one out as he ran by, much to his delight. No matter if the griffons saw them: any witnesses would soon be so much ash on the wind, if Shattered Globe's estimations on the explosive yield was correct, which, he assured him, it was.

The 2 of them ran, and ran and ran, desperate to escape the explosion. They entered the dungeons, ran by all of the cells, dived down into the hole that the grate used to cover, and ran through the tunnels, with the route being remembered by The Forgemaster, that leg of the journey went quickly, eventually they made it out of the castle and ran back to the hill they started on. Half-way through the home stretch outside the castle, The Forgemaster took flight and took Silent Knife with him, despite his flailing limbs. They arrived at the hill with easily 5 minutes to spare.

They took those 5 minutes to calm their heartbeats: the griffons hadn't followed them outside the castle so they were safe there, besides: they were looking for a pony and a large biped… thing. Not the 2 griffons currently gasping for breath underneath a tree, no sir.

When those 5 minutes were up… it was everything he could've hoped for.

The sky was lit up with a beautiful riot of colors. Every color from the rainbow was present, and even a few that weren't. The 2 just stared at the beautiful spectacle. After a moment, a shockwave raced to meet them in its joyous crushing embrace. The 2 were flung down the other side of the hill, but they stood up quickly and raced back to the top to see the remainder of the explosion. The fantastic rainbow mushroom cloud seemed to hang in the air after the explosion, neither even bothered diverting their eyes to see the absence of the fortress: they just stared at the beauty.

More than 3 hours passed before the cloud finally dissolved, and neither move, shift, or even blink until it was completely gone.

Chapter 60

The 2 sat on the hill even after the beautiful mushroom cloud in the sky disappeared. The 2 obviously needed a moment to get over their near-orgasmic experience: it's not every day you see something that would make a grown man weep in happiness. The 2 of them were still in their griffon personas. Of the 2 of them, The Forgemaster was the first to recover, shortly followed by Silent Knife.

"Holy shit." The Forgemaster began, "I think I just came."

Shattered Globe snorted, "'Think you did?' Hah! I know I did!" He shakily got to his feet.

"You set up the camera, right?" The Forgemaster asked.

"Of course I did! What do you think I am an amateur?" Shattered Globe rolled his eyes.

"I'd like a copy. Rainbow won't be happy with me that I left for a week without any warning, and I think a video of a huge explosion that takes after her will do wonders for my continued health."

Shattered Globe put his hoof to his chin, thinking deeply while muttering, "Rainbow, Rainbow…. Where do I know that name? Something to do with the Best Young Flyer's Competition..."

Broken Bulb took over, "She was that filly at the Flyer Festival thingy at Cloudsdale."

Shattered Globe took back control, "You remember a specific mare but not the name of the event?"

Broken Bulb retorted saying, "Like you remembered the event but not the specific mare?"

The Forgemaster waved his hands at the 2, "Oi! Stop this fighting, damnit! And yes; that's her. She might pound my nuts into dust for leaving without telling her in person. I figure a gift of that magnitude might help me survive her fury for a day or 2."

Shattered Globe laughed, "You're right. From what I've heard of her she has a… fiery… disposition. Anything to protect your precious foal-makers, right?"

"Hey, they've been there for me through thick and thin. And tall and short, black and white, mean and nice, etc, etc."

Broken Bulb laughed at him, "I know the feeling. Me and Shattered Globe go way back, almost to the point that I wouldn't care if he died, right here, right now, or not."

Shattered Globe sniffled, "I love you too, you homicidally insane bastard, you."

"Well!" The Forgemaster said while standing up, "We might as well go back to the city. There's nothing left to do out here."

Silent Knife walked over to the camera that was pointing directly at the former-fortress and took it down off of its tri-pod. He disassembled the various pieces for travel and put them into his bag while he removed the recording from the camera and put it into a separate container. As he was doing this, he remained talking to The Forgemaster.

"Oh, I wouldn't say 'nothing' to do. I assume there are griffon patrols in the area now… want to go find some?" He asked with a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

"Do you want to know why they called me the 'Dragon of the East'?" The Forgemaster asked with a similar gleam in his eye, only much more obvious and twice as maniacal.

"Sure, why?"

The Forgemaster blew some fire out of his mouth and some smoke from his nose before grinning madly, "Because they never found more than the ashes they left behind." The Forgemaster started to laugh darkly, almost making Shattered Globe soil himself.

Neither Shattered Globe nor Broken Bulb knew who 'they' were, but they found themselves pitying the poor bastards… whoever they may be, of course.

Broken Bulb gulped before saying, "Well, seeing as how a fortress of theirs was just blown all to smithereens, great work by the way, saw everything through Globe's eyes, we should probably start near there. There are bound to be at least a few griffons investigating the, erm, disturbance." He finished slyly.

The Forgemaster jumped on the balls of his feet and said, "You know what they say, 'If you drink the blood of your enemies, you gain their courage… unless they're cowards, then you don't gain anything and you're just a blood drinking weirdo.'"

Shattered Globe shook his head, "I don't know what kind of horrors are in store for them, but I'm heading in. Broken Bulb can take over the rest of the night."

The pony-turned-griffon appeared to twitch for a moment, before a sickly sweet smile broke out on his face.

Broken Bulb immediately jumped up and down saying, "Weeeee!"

The sudden jump from morosely disapproving to jumping up and down excitedly really threw The Forgemaster off. Even though he knew that there were 2 of them in there, it was still an immensely startling event, one that was quickly brought to heel.

The Forgemaster ran off calling back to Broken Bulb, "C'mon, Broken Bulb. Let's go slaughter us some griffons!"

Broken Bulb raced off after him saying, "I'm so glad I met somepony like you!"

5 Hours Later, Silent Knife's Apartment

The 2 griffons stumbled into the apartment, still on their adrenaline high and laughing about recent events. The Forgemaster and Broken Bulb were reminiscing on the events that took place not that long ago, each telling their favorite part of the night and trying to top the other, all the while laughing as loudly as physically possible without also dying.

"You remember when that one griffon went over to the bushes to pee?" The Forgemaster choked out under severe pressure from the laughter threatening to burst forth, "And then, and then you stood up from the bushes and said, 'Thank you sir may I have another?' Bwahahahaha! The look on his face was priceless!"

Broken Bulb was laughing just as loudly and almost as desperately, "Especially when I hit him with the frying pan! Ah, Celestia, that was s~o funny! But, a better one was where you ran at them with a pencil, hahaha, and then you stabbed one and then just ran away screaming and hollering with your hands waving over your head! Bwahaha! I know you couldn't see it, but the looks on those soldiers' faces would've made you piss yourself laughing, I know because I nearly did! Thank Celestia for conveniently placed bushes or I never would've been able to see their reactions."

The Forgemaster kept laughing, "I know what you mean, but my personal favorite was when we captured that patrol with the net and strung them up in a tree. And then, another patrol came by and we acted like there wasn't a net full of griffons hanging from the trees right next to us! Hahahaha, I think those guys' minds all simultaneously just stopped."

Broken Bulb continued, "And then you…" Broken Bulb suddenly got more serious, "Threw me at them… you bastard!"

"Hey, I saed you didn't I?"

"Yeah, but that was only after you threw me at an entire patrol!"

"So? It was funny!"

"…That's true…"

The room was silent for a few minutes; an awkward silence had fallen upon the 2, one that The Forgemaster decided to break.

"Hey," He began, "Remember when I knocked down that tree towards a group… but it missed and fell in front of them on the path by like 15 feet?"

"Ha! Yeah, that was good, and then they just stared at you when you came out, picked the tree back up, and then told them that you 'missed'?"

The Forgemaster barked out a laugh, "And it took them a few seconds to process… and they eventually just tried to stab me?"

Broken Bulb sighed contentedly, "Yeah, good times, good times… nailed a few of them with a cricket bat. Oh, Celestia that was fun. Then you had to go and make it all creepy by stringing them all up and writing creepy crap all over them in their own blood." He glared at the man who dared sully his fun, even in the slightest fashion.

"Hey, I had to freak them out somehow, it's all about morale, you know." The Forgemaster defended himself.

Broken Bulb sighed, "Yeah, I know. Normally I'm into creepy freaky deaky stuff, but that was just so far over the line." He sighed again, "Even with the creepy crap you pulled, I'd like to do that again. It's been to long since Globe's left me completely off the leash."

"I have to leave tomorrow, so I might have to take a pass on that. Although, if you were to have some sort of… mission that I could do before I have to elave…"

Broken Bulb grinned slyly, "I think that between Shattered Globe and me, we could find you several things to blow up… maybe even a high value kidnapping?"

The Forgemaster smiled, "I'm liking the kidnapping thing, who will it be?"

"You ever here of a Princess Gwenivere?" Broken Bulb asked.

The Forgemaster shrugged, "Can't say I have."

Broken Bulb lowered his voice to that of a whisper, "Well, she's the griffon princess, daughter of the king, very important; allegedly she's the head of his interrogation department. Not a very nice individual, rumors talk about her sadism, torturing prisoners on her day off, things like that. Crazy shit even me and Globe don't so."

The Forgemaster inhaled in shock, "On her day off!" He asked incredulously.

Broken Bulb replied, "Yes." Like it was the most serious thing in the world.

The Forgemaster gritted his teeth, and raised a claw above his head, "This insult will not stand! She will be kidnapped, most assuredly… Wait, why are we kidnapping her again? She has important intelligence or something?"

"Yep, got it in one." Broken Bulb replied cheerily.

"Hmm… this will be fun, I imagine. But first, a question: why is Griffonia even going to war with Equestria at all? I bet you have some sort of insight seeing as how you've been here for, when was it Celestia posted you here, 3, no, 4 years ago?"

Broken Bulb rolled his eyes like he couldn't even believe it himself, "Yeah, it's been about that long. Alright, lemme give you the breakdown: well, you were the guy to stop his agents in Canterlot, right? Well, apparently: there was something much, much bigger going on there than just observing. Something worth endangering his kingdom over, but we aren't to sure just what it is, yet. On the other hoof, he has a HUGE temper." Broken Bulb indicated with his claws to make the point of how big his temper actually was, "I mean, this guy gets ticked off over the littlest things. And he over-reacts like nopony's business. One time, an entire newspaper company, everypony from the managers to the columnists to the delivery griffons, was all slaughtered by the king. Just because he didn't like something they printed, he completely annihilated them."

The Forgemaster groaned, "Aw, shit. I hate dealing with bastards in power that are this tyrannical. Makes me want to go and kill Mussolini all over again. Why can't I just kill him?"

Broken Bulb sighed, "Well, first off: he now lives in his underground bunker. I have no idea where that is, not a single one of my informants knows either, and I've been working hard to find it for a while now. While I'm sure you could completely exterminate everything he has ever known or cared about, I don't even think that would get him out of his bunker. So, short of an informant finding him, we are shit outta luck on that front."

The Forgemaster frowned, not often was it when he couldn't catch his prey, or find at least some way to terrorize them, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

The Forgemaster turned and left the apartment, preparing to go back to his own just up the street.

Before he left, he called back to Broken Bulb, "Stay in the shadows, brother."

The Forgemaster went back to his apartment and fell asleep.

(A/N – This is just for lulz, this never actually happens in the story unless you want it to.)

The Next Day; 9:26 A.M.

Kyradeth Jail

Broken Bulb and Shattered Globe were both extremely mad this morning. The reason? A griffon police officer came by this morning because The Forgemaster had been caught, quote, 'Assaulting' someone, and had named them as his closest relative to bail him out. The bail wasn't too much and the funds were already in the police's hands, they just had to go and collect The Forgemaster.

Broken Bulb and Shattered Globe rounded a corner in the police station and were greeted by a friendly call from the nearest cell. This 'friendly call' was actually multiple curse words and insults from a giant scar riddled griffon criminal that was being held in the cell.

Moving on, the very next cell held a griffon Forgemaster.

Shattered Globe took over for this, "Do you mind telling me why I had to bail you out?" he asked in a bored tone.

The Forgemaster shrugged as best he could, "Apparently it's illegal to slap someone and blame it on a seizure. Who knew?"

He just got a glare in return from them, however the griffon in the cell next to him laughed uproariously.

"Okay, fine, he was a prick, I'm sorry. Funny as hell though, you would've loved it. He called me fat! I'll have you know I'm 300 or so pounds of solid steel and sex appeal. So I slap the asshole and in no more than 5 seconds a police officer was in my face, asking me in the 'friendliest' of terms why I had slapped that bastard. Long story short, saying, 'I had a seizure, I didn't mean to slap him' will not get you out of jail time. Thinking about it now, I might have gotten away with it if I hadn't of slapped him twice, once is possible to weasel my way out of, but twice is a little farfetched."

The griffon in the cell laughed even harder at that, but Shattered Globe said, "C'mon, you big idiot, we're getting out of here. And you owe us one."

The Forgemaster groaned and walked over to the door, which shortly opened to allow him to leave. He then followed Silent Knife through the police station.

Chapter 61

(A/N – If you haven't figured it out yet: Broken Bulb is one of the personalities, and Shattered Globe is the other. When I refer to them as Silent Knife I am referring to them as a whole, meaning the both of them at once.)

"Aw buck, we're bucking bucked!" Broken Bulb whispered, panicking.

"Guards ahead, guards behind, no way out, no way through, and we aren't authorized to be in here with our disguises. Inopportune setting, I agree. Looks like we're gonna have to get messy." Shattered Globe said silently.

"So, we can't go out, because we'll get caught trying to leave, and we can't go forward, because we'd get caught moving further into the building, so what do we do?" The Forgemaster asked his companions quietly.

The 2 infiltrators were on the ceiling of the room, sticking to the surface with the aid of magic. Thankfully, this building, either through a lack of funding or they just hadn't gotten to it yet, was completely void of magic-sensing equipment. This made it easier to move their way into the building but, due to some outstanding circumstances involving Broken Bulb and a great idea, they were now trapped on the ceiling above a group of griffon military officers having a meeting. If any of the griffons were to look up, they would see 2 griffons stuck to the ceiling, not something that is allowed in the griffon military, or any military, for that matter. And if the 2 were to fall, they would be noticed and detained. Clearly, it wasn't an ideal situation.

Getting into the building was the easy part of the mission. Once inside, the illusions of being griffons prevented many from questioning why they were there. Silent Knife's contacts managed to smuggle some uniforms out to them, and they were now dressed like sergeants in the griffon military. The 2 had wandered around the base for several hours before they managed to find their prey. They only managed to get a glimpse of her before she retired for the night into her royal bedchambers. And that was a problem: no one would be allowed into her bedchambers unless she invited them. Then Broken Bulb got the fabulous idea of going to find griffons with higher rank so that they could gain access to the princess. A good idea in theory, but in practice it didn't end so well. The first griffon with a captain's insignia on his uniform they saw Broken Bulb immediately followed. One thing led to another and now they were trapped in a meeting room while sticking to the ceiling with magic. The ceiling was high, almost like a cathedral, and there was little chance of one of the griffons in the room looking up and seeing them. On the other hand, there was no cover on the ceiling, no décor to hide in, no windows to leap out of, and the doors all had guards. Suffice to say, they weren't getting out without being spotted.

"This is the last time I ever listen to your plans Bulb. If these guys are anything like I think they are, we're going to be here for hours." The Forgemaster whispered angrily to the other.

Shattered Globe cursed, "We can't last that long, our magic will give out long before then."

Broken Bulb spoke, "And I don't see the target. But, we're gonna have to get out of here soon."

"So, are we in agreement? Drop down and slaughter them all?"

"No, let's wait. See what they do."

"I agree; we'll wait. But, if we stay here much longer we'll lose the element of surprise."

"Don't worry about that, if they look up we drop down and attack. But, if they don't we leave them be and wait for them to leave."

"Fine, but our magic won't let us stay up here much longer. I can already feel the reserves getting lower and lower."

"Just hold on."

The Forgemaster and Silent Knife both managed to hold on for a while longer. They had nothing to do but watch the meeting happening no more than 50 feet below them. It was a very dull meeting, almost as bad as sitting through court, only without all of the action. Yes, that dull. Who knew discussing the destruction of your primary supply depot and fortress could be so boring? The Forgemaster, for his part, managed to stealthily scan each of the officers' minds, gaining valuable intelligence in the process. A side effect of being able to read minds is the ability to alter them, slightly. Too much and their minds could break, too little and nothing would change. Mind-altering required a gentle touch. He subtly planted false information as well, a skill he rarely made use of but was very happy to use. There's nothing quite like making someone think something that never happened.

"Oh shit." Was his only warning.

*CRASH*

Silent Knife suddenly lost his grip on the ceiling. The height and angle at which he was dropping prevented him from opening his wings and saving himself. As gravity regained control of his body, he fell quickly straight down, coincidentally directly in the middle of the table the officers were sitting around. Silent Knife's weight shattered the table, scattering the various reports and files on the table and making the officers jump for cover. The guards reacted quickly to the disturbance and surrounded Silent Knife. A sergeant that wasn't allowed in the room falling off of the ceiling? Obviously a spy.

The Forgemaster followed after his stunned companion and landed next to him on some pieces of the table. Broken Bulb and Shattered Globe were stunned, probably seeing stars, but they were conscious. Or, at least, one of them was. The one that was moaning and groaning while holding his head was the conscious one. Thankfully, the transformation spell didn't break. The spell itself, while being advanced and uses much energy to start, is very easy to hold for long periods of time. There is barely a drain on one's magic when holding up the transformation spell.

The Forgemaster and Silent Knife were surrounded by a relatively small amount of guards, no more than 12. The Forgemaster eyed those that surrounded him on all sides and quickly thought up plan after plan, discarding each in turn before arriving at one that would work.

The Forgemaster struck out with his claws, trying to pummel the griffons in the room. The first was so caught off guard by his charge that the griffon couldn't react; he suffered a powerful uppercut that sent him into the wall behind him. The second guard came at him with his spear, charging at The Forgemaster with his spear leveled straight at him. The Forgemaster flipped the spear to the side with a flick of a foreleg, leaving the griffon open to the elbow that slammed into his temple. The third that was immediately behind the second was kicked in the face by The Forgemaster. When The Forgemaster tries to punt you through a stone wall, you either dodge or become intimately acquainted with masonry. The griffon had been unable to dodge.

With the spear from the recently incapacitated guard now firmly in his claws, The Forgemaster used it to great effect in his beating/murder of the other griffons. He cut down 3 more before the griffons back off to a sufficient degree.

The Forgemaster threw his spear javelin-style at the griffons, skewering one to his death. He then picked Silent Knife up football style and charged the griffons, roaring as he did so. The Forgemaster, even as a griffon, was much, muchlarger than the others. He was able to crash straight through the guards trying to detain him, scattering them about the room as he ran through them to the door. Their blades and spear cut gashes in his body and wings, but he paid them no mind. He just kept running.

"Halt!" some random griffon yelled at him, even as he ran away.

Unfortunately, the griffons were having their meeting smack dab in the middle of the building they had infiltrated; no matter which direction he ran he would encounter resistance. Heavy resistance, mind you, strong, burly griffons carrying heavy weapons and armor. They would undoubtedly have aerial units as well, just waiting for him to fly away. They had one thing going in their favor, besides their access to magic, the building they were in was in the city. All they needed to do was get out and find someplace to hide before slinking their way out of the city.

The Forgemaster kept up his momentum. In his frantic rush to the nearest exit, which just so happened to be the front door, he was crashing through various griffons. He knocked down guards, flattened recruits, rolled over officers, and shattered barricades. Many of the griffons he tackled suffered broken limbs as a result, but all of them would have nasty bruises in the morning. If they survived.

Finally, after running through many hallways and rooms, The Forgemaster ran out the front door. He immediately skidded to a halt at the sight before him. Either it was a trap, or this building had a huge garrison, but a good 120 griffons barred his way to complete freedom. They had flooded the 50 foot stretch of open ground between him and the city and had blocked him in on all fronts, even the sky. All fronts, that is, bar 1.

The Forgemaster spotted an empty alley on the other side of the griffon battalion and knew exactly where he was going to teleport to. With a wave of a foreleg the fabric of the space/time continuum was rent, and a portal appeared. The Forgemaster, whilst still carrying an unconscious Silent Knife, stepped through the portal and appeared in the alley he had previously seen.

The alley lit up with a bright flash of light that almost immediately dissipated. A large figure stood where the flash of light originated. The Forgemaster looked over his shoulder at the confused mass of guards, snorted in contempt, and walked off into the night with his burden.

The griffon battalion fell into a state of confused chaos. The griffons had all just seen the impossible, griffons cannot and never have been able to do magic.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster took Silent Knife back to his apartment. He was still unconscious from that blow to the head. Falling from such a large height would probably give him a concussion, it was a wonder his neck hadn't snapped. The Forgemaster healed the poor spy and then set about repairing his owns wounds. Those spears and swords hadn't hit anything important, somehow, but The Forgemaster was thankful for it. The Forgemaster left Broken Bulb and Shattered Globe in an unconscious state on the couch and reclined on a chair. The Forgemaster seated himself comfortably and prepared for his next spell.

A simple spell, in theory, a very difficult one, in practice. The Forgemaster merely took his mind and expanded its borders. Minds and consciouses are not restrained by normal boundaries. The only boundary there is to a given mind is the one you make for yourself. Given time, a mind with unrestrained boundaries can move through and into the boundaries established by others, thereby reading someone's mind. Armed with the knowledge that no one else in the griffon kingdom would be able to stop him, seeing as how none of them knew magic, The Forgemaster read every mind in the entire city at once. Like having a splash of images and text thrown at you, it was utterly incomprehensible. However, one could look through them if one could pick them apart.

Skillfully weaving his way through the conscious's of others, The Forgemaster came to a conclusion: it wasn't safe in this city anymore. While it was never a city to be safe in, seeing as how both he and Silent Knife were spies, the methods the griffons were going to implement would not only root out the spy, it would also prevent them from fleeing.

These barbarous measures were going to be put in place tomorrow, all in reaction to his and Silent Knife's infiltration. They were going to have to flee the city before the morrow.

The Forgemaster had a sudden, uncomfortable thought.

'Shit… now I'm like 007. I get caught and then I save the day. Damnit I hated that show boating bastard. I never got the recognition he got because I was never caught.'

(A/N – I'll be the first to admit that this little griffon arc wasn't very good. I will be back to MLP episodes next chapter, along with the random hilarity that The Forgemaster often brings to the table.)

(DOUBLE A/N – I BLOODY WELL LOVED WRITING FOR BROKEN BULB AND SHATTERED GLOBE!!!!!)

Chapter 62

Celestia had never truly gone through The Forgemaster's memories as diligently as she probably should have. When she had first received them, she had skimmed them. She got a general idea of the character of The Forgemaster, but no true understanding of what he was capable of. She had gotten a general idea, but was too busy to look deeper. Recently, she had been trying to rectify that seeming error. She decided to take a whole day off from running her country, leaving it to Luna so all of Equestria wouldn't burn for a day, and just sit down and go through his memories.

At the moment, she was watching him, for lack of a better word, explain himself and his actions to another human. They appeared to be fairly close, considering The Forgemaster candor.

The Forgemaster was saying, "I always tried to be an unsung hero, work in the shadows to serve the light. You know, guide my fellow man without their knowing. Do all the good things and let others get the credit. It isn't healthy for a society to have someone to rely on for everything. If they knew that I would always keep them from disaster, they would become weak, useless, and stagnant, so, here and there; I let things slip through the cracks. A war here, a famine there, all to benefit them in the long run, I will not coddle my people. For if it weren't for adversity, the people would flounder if I ever left them."

The other man replied, shaking his head, "You really do plan for every possibility, don't you?"

With a grin, The Forgemaster replied, "One does not live as long as I have without learning a few things. That was one of my first lessons, thankfully, and it has served me well. Traitors are amazed when their schemes against me fail, they think, 'how did he know?' and 'who told him?' when in reality I didn't know, I merely planned on it."

The other man raised a brow, "You planned on someone being a traitor?"

"I plan on everything. Sometimes I occupy my thoughts with what I would do if the sun weren't to rise on the morrow, but it always does." The Forgemaster mused.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, before the unknown man asked, "Have you planned on myself being a traitor?"

The Forgemaster barked out a laugh, "Oh, yes. Don't hold it against me, though. It is merely in my nature…"

'Hmm, interesting…' Celestia thought.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster, Broken Bulb, and Shattered Globe were walking down a path that took them towards Equestria. They were still deep in griffon territory, but they were out of their disguises. After all, it wasn't a pony and a human that crashed a military meeting; it was a pair of griffon sergeants. Due to the pony's inability to fly or teleport, as well as The Forgemaster's inability to leave any one behind for any reason because of a stint with a group he called 'the baddest motherfuckers alive, hoorah', the pace home was relatively slow-going. Naturally, as males, regardless of species, are wont to do when bored, conversations of a sexual variety sprung up. According to Shattered Globe, Broken Bulb was cowering someplace deep in their psyche. He really wasn't exaggerating when he had said that Broken Bulb was afraid of any contact with a female, in fact, he undersold it quite a bit. He undersold it so much as to neglect to mention that any sexual talk at all basically paralyzes Broken Bulb.

"I still don't get you ponies…" The Forgemaster began.

"What do yah mean?" Broken Bulb asked.

"All your sex jokes have something about a mare and their tail twitching to the side. It's incomprehensible."

"Good going, Bulb's cowering in the deepest parts of our mind now, you bastard." Shattered Globe said.

"Hehe, sorry about that."

"Nah, it's fine. That means I have exactly 3 hours and 47 minutes, exactly, for him to bother me again once we end this conversation." Shattered Globe happily replied.

"So… about the tails thing?"

"Wow, you really are a different species." Shattered Globe mumbled to himself, "Well, anyways, when a mare is feeling sexually stimulated or aroused, her tail will start to twitch. It's the only indicator that is common in all 3 types of ponies, so that's why they're in the most common sex jokes. Of course, pegasi have their wing stiffening and unicorns have some shiny magical, for lack of a better word, discharge coming from their horn. The tail twitches to the side to allow for the stallion to have better, erm, access."

The Forgemaster shook his head and whispered to himself, "Why does Celestia seem woefully lacking in this information. For a goddess of ponies, she doesn't even know that good sex jokes! Or basic sexual responses for that matter…"

"Ah… so the whole tail twitching thing is really just an instinctual and involuntary response to being sexually excited?"

Shattered Globe missed a beat, and then shook his head, muttering, "Took the words right of me mouth!"

The 2 walked on in silence for a few minutes. For not being able to fly or teleport, Shattered Globe was making excellent time. There really was something to their four-legged-ness after all.

"For all that you don't understand ponies, I think we understand you less." Shattered Globe said.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, you don't have the ears, so I can't use that. And you don't have a tail, for whatever reason. Your eyes are tiny, too, so that goes out the window. Couple that with the fact your face never so much as twitches no matter the situation and I have no idea what you might be thinking… ever."

The Forgemaster said in mock sadness, sniffling, "I smile sometimes…"

"Yeah, but I think you're just doing the motion without actually feeling it. Then again, your eyes are tiny so I can't really tell."

"Well, at least I know that my poker face is still intact after being around… colorful, garish, and insanely happy ponies 24/7."

Shattered Globe nodded in understanding to that.

After a few moments, Shattered Globe started again, "So, what's up with human… mating?" Shattered Globe asked sheepishly.

The Forgemaster grinned, "Feeling curious, are we?"

"Hey, I answered your questions!" he yelled back.

"Easy, easy, no need to get defensive. Whoa, you really must be in to freaky stuff." The Forgemaster laughed.

"Aw, shadup! If you don't want to talk about your weird… bipedal mating rituals then that's fine by me!"

"Aw, don't be like that. There's nothing worse than having to be on a long journey home when the only other person, er, pony is giving me the silent treatment!"

Shattered Globe closed his eyes, 'Hmmphed', and raised his nose and walked ahead of him.

"Alright, I'll tell you all you wanna know." The Forgemaster sighed.

Shattered Globe grinned cheekily and slowed down until he was even with The Forgemaster once more.

"First off, we're not into the whole… mounting thing you ponies love so much. We mostly do it stomach to stomach, face to face."

"Hah! And you call me the freaky one, that right there, is A-grade kinky." Shattered Globe told him.

"Not among humans it's not. In fact, your 'mounting' style would be considered kinky amongst humans as well. Maybe not A-grade though, maybe more like B-grade or even C-grade."

That's how the conversation between the 2 went, far, far into the evening. At the pace they were going, they couldn't make it home to Ponyville or Canterlot in one day. The 2 had agreed to go to Ponyville first, at The Forgemaster's insistence. It would take them about 3 days in total to get back to Ponyville, and only a few more hours after that to go to Canterlot. By the end of those 3 days, both knew enough about the other's species to almost make them sick. But, curiously enough, Shattered Globe didn't receive much information about The Forgemaster himself or where he was from.

The Forgemaster had come to that realization a while ago now. He wasn't on the same planet he used to be on, that much was clear. Couple the fact that a race of talking ponies, griffons, and subterranean dogs existed with how the stars were in different positions and that not even the moon looked similar, and it was fairly obvious that he wasn't on Earth. Of course, the talking griffons, ponies, and dogs were the biggest hint. The Forgemaster had traveled all across the world and never once had he seen any kind of talking pony, dog, or griffon.

For some time on the trip back, The Forgemaster was contemplating some things. First of all, was whether or not Rainbow Dash could get pregnant by him? That in itself was a good question, but one with an easy answer: no. But he was also a shape shifting different species so the lines were blurry. He had never been in this position before; he had never had sex when he was transformed, so he had no prior experience to back himself up with. He had no idea if his DNA changed when he changed his forms, but if he did, then it was completely possible to impregnate a pony. After questioning Shattered Globe on the subject, The Forgemaster was delighted to hear that a mare could only get pregnant when she went into heat, and, from the details Globe supplied, the hadn't happened yet.

'Thank the gods for that, I'm not ready for a kid.' The Forgemaster thought, and then immediately chuckled to himself, 'Who am I kidding? I've lived long enough to watch my kids grow up to have kids of their own; I think I can handle 1 more… a pony one though. Weird.'

3 Days later, Ponyville City Limits

"Alright, there might be some problems when we arrive in the town…' The Forgemaster said.

"What? You the village pariah?" Globe asked.

"No, it's just that there are 6 very eccentric mares living here. 1 will throw you a party, 1 will try to fix your mane, 1 will welcome you with a hoof shake that would kill lesser creatures, 1 will hide from you, 1 will ask you question after question, and the last 1 is mine, though she will probably tackle me to the ground."

Globe just stared back at him, deadpan, he asked, "Can we go around?"

The Forgemaster shook his head, and said, "Sorry, but they would hurt me more if they learned that I purposely went missed them."

With a heavy sigh, Globe said, "Let's just get this over with."

The 2 started to alk towards the town more specifically towards The Forgemaster's residence.

"Alright, if we're quick, we can get to my house and lock the doors before they get in. I had all sorts of countermeasures put in so not even a really pissed off Hulk could get in."

Globe shook his head, "I won't even pretend to know what you just said, but let's hurry, damnit."

As it turns out, the path that they were taking to Ponyville was also the path that passes right by the Apple Family's Orchard. Of the 6 mares that might attack him if they see him, Applejack was one of the less likely to tackle him. Then again, only Pinkie and Rainbow would probably tackle him, it was doubtful that any of the others would. As they passed by the orchard, Applejack was nowhere to be seen, however, her brother Big Macintosh seemed to be lazing away the afternoon looking at the clouds while sitting under an apple tree within sight of the path.

The Forgemaster raised an arm in greeting and the large stallion did the same with a hoof. The Forgemaster walked up to Big Mac with Shattered Globe following immediately behind him.

"What's up Big Mac?" The Forgemaster cordially asked.

"Nothin'."

The Forgemaster never really ever had any sort of extended interaction with Big Mac, but knew from the few times they had seen each other that he wasn't much of a conversationalist.

"I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Shattered Globe."

Big Mac looked down at the relatively tiny stallion and held out a hoof, "Nice to meet yah partner."

Shattered Globe took the hoof and shook it, but appeared to be in a trance, after a few moments he snapped out of his reverie and said, "Whoa. I've only met 2 ponies from Ponyville and they're both giants. Is there something in the air around here?"

Big Mac replied, "Not as far as I know, but Ah am the second biggest stallion in Ponyville, since Forgemaster here came to town."

"And I'm not technically a pony, mind you." He reminded them.

After a few moments, The Forgemaster asked, "So… how's Bulb?"

"Oh, he's still cowering… it'll be another hour or so before he snaps out of it. You just had to make that sex joke didn't you?"

As The Forgemaster defended himself, Big Mac looked around in confusion before saying, "Ah don't see anypony else 'round here."

"Oh yeah, I have multiple personalities." Shattered Globe said like it was no big deal, getting a brief raised brow from Big Mac but then a casual nod of acceptance, "Broken Bulb is the other one and the only other one thankfully. Forgemaster said something that scared him and now he's cowering so deep in our consciousness that not even my world famous spiced pineapples with hot sauce could get him out."

The Forgemaster raised a brow, "Broken Bulb likes spicy stuff that bad?"

Shattered Globe grinned, "Nope, he hates the stuff, that's actually why it usually works so good. But, thanks to your interference, the spiciest thing since sliced bread won't snap him out of it. And that stuff burns so good it hurts." He finished with a whimsical smile, as though remembering the spiced treat fondly.

"Hey Big Mac, you know any way to get into the town without being seen?" The Forgemaster asked.

"Nope! But Pinkie set up some sorta fancy shindig at the City Hall, so if you're lucky, you might not even see anypony else."

Thank the gods/Celestia." The 2 said simultaneously.

The 2 bade goodbye to the stallion, who went back to staring up at the clouds as he had done before they arrived, and left. They ran towards Ponyville and were surprised at what they saw. They didn't expect the work pony to be lying, but he had understated the situation quite a bit. There wasn't a pony in sight in the entire village. Evidently, the ponies were gathered inside the town hall, as Big Mac had said they were. The Forgemaster just led Shattered Globe and a still-paralyzed Broken Bulb through Ponyville and to his home.

The 2 had agreed to rest at his house before continuing to Canterlot. The Forgemaster could then defend himself when confronted later by saying that he hadn't seen anyone when he went through the town earlier. A nice, safe, lazy answer. Typical Forgemaster, he may work hard when he wants to but he also has a fairly large lazy side to himself.

(A/N – Yo! Check out my one-shot, The Monster, drop a review, tell me what you think.)

Chapter 63

The Forgemaster and Shattered Globe were inside of The Forgemaster's home. Broken Bulb, fortunately or unfortunately, hadn't yet recovered from his ordeal. Turns out the doubly insane personality was deathly afraid of any kind of sexual innuendo, as well as the act itself.

At the moment, both were resting. Walking for 3 days and nights isn't a terribly easy feat to accomplish. Shattered Globe, for instance, was a spy and not at all used to walking long treks across the landscape. He and The Forgemaster had eaten nothing but trail rations and whatever edible plants they could find on the way back. The Forgemaster had caught a rabbit and ate that, but Shattered Globe couldn't eat it. No matter their physical appearance, ponies that were disguised as griffons were still ponies on the inside. And no matter The Forgemaster's bluffing towards the griffons they had captured, ponies-turned-griffons still couldn't, or wouldn't, eat meat. The first thing Shattered Globe had done once entering the house was to raid the fridge and the cabinets for food. The Forgemaster was just sad that he would have to go back to hiding his meat eating ways… they had some damn good meat in Griffonia.

While Shattered Globe was demolishing a third salad and a pair of cupcakes, The Forgemaster had elected to take look-out. He wasn't quite sure what was going on in the town hall, but figured that if Pinkie wanted him there, and knew that he was in town, she would drag him there, kicking and screaming. Then he would be publically beaten by Rainbow Dash and probably completely flattened by Pinkie Pie's shenanigans.

The Forgemaster was peering through the blinds he had drawn across the windows, "Hmmm, I don't think anyone knows we're here. I'm not sure if that's a good thing…"

Shattered Globe spoke through the cupcakes in his mouth to say, "We aren't here on a social visit, we're here resting for the last leg to Canterlot. No matter what interferes, we have to report in to Princess Celestia."

"I could always just magic a letter to her…" The Forgemaster mumbled.

Globe shook his head, though The Forgemaster couldn't see, "Nah, she needs this report in the flesh. It would be terrible manners to just send a letter."

"Since when have I cared about manners?" he asked, wryly.

"Since never," Globe said while grinning, "But Celestia would have my hooves if I had sent her a letter when I am supposed to be telling her face-to-face. She might have question, you know, nothing that could be easily fixed with letters."

This time The Forgemaster nodded, it was reasonable after all.

"You know? I've been talking too much recently; I should cut back on that. Then again, there are actually people, er, ponies, here worth talking to on a daily basis…" The Forgemaster scratched his chin in thought and then blankly stared at Globe when he didn't respond.

Shattered Globe hadn't even noticed him speaking, so engrossed was he in eating. Sure he was hungry, but damnit, it had only been a few days since they last had actual food. Rations don't count as real food, by the way.

"You done yet?" he asked Globe.

Shattered Globe had just polished off the last cupcake, and burped before nodding excitedly, "Yep! We can go now. But, why are you so afraid of being seen in this town?"

"I'm not afraid of being seen, I'm not afraid at all. I'm merely worried about the things that may come to pass should I be seen."

A knocking was heard at the door, strong and impatient. The sudden noise startled the 2 inside the home.

The Forgemaster began saying, "That's impossible; no one knows we're here…"

An angry voice yelled out from behind the door, "Forgey! I know you're in there! Come out here NOW!"

"Oh shit, that was Pinkie." The Forgemaster muttered, "I want my Zapper…" he continued with an almost child-like whine.

The Forgemaster ducked into a side room and retrieved the before-mentioned sword. While he was not planning to hurt Pinkie Pie, it was an electricity-based weapon. Surely even she would be stunned from it, right? The Forgemaster wasn't very certain about that, but felt better knowing that he could at least try.

Pinkie was hitting the door hard enough that the door was caving in slightly with each blow.

"Oh buck, mate. This mare seems to want you pretty bad." Shattered Globe remarked, still sitting at the table.

The Forgemaster started up the stairs, saying back to him, "If you wish to escape the wrath of an enraged Pinkie, then you will use the trapdoor I have in my room. I installed it just in case the Vietcong attack."

Shattered Globe hopped off of the seat and followed him up the stairs, asking, "What's the Vietcong?"

The Forgemaster turned back and with an exaggerated yell said, "I don't wanna talk about it!"

Globe backed off saying, "Okay, okay, jeez. We won't talk about it, now where's that trapdoor?"

The Forgemaster tilted his head towards the door to his room and they both walked in. Once there, The Forgemaster flipped a lamp over, causing it to tilt back on a concealed hinge, and revealed a button. Once pressed, the button caused an entire cabinet to open up like a door. Behind the cabinet was a tunnel, and it was about half as tall as the normal doors in The Forgemaster's house. Perfect size for a pony, Shattered Globe just walked right through, but The Forgemaster had to turn his body over almost completely. The Forgemaster shut the cabinet behind him and kept following the path the tunnel provided. There was little illumination, the little light there was provided by a few strips of photo reactive paint, giving off some tiny amount of light to see by.

The tunnel wasn't that long, in retrospect; it probably should've been longer. Of course, one has to add in the mind-bending it took to make a tunnel from the second floor work as an effective escape route without being immediately noticeable in the other rooms. It's not like a giant tunnel can be hidden easily in the walls. It took skill to blend in a tunnel with a wall, 2 completely opposite things, and The Forgemaster made them one. The tunnel, for all the difficulty there was in making it, definitely should've been longer. I mean, it only goes to the street in front of his house, as though that would stump anyone with half a brain. Then again, when he was first making the tunnel his opinions of the ponies probably could've been better: he had underestimated them quite a bit before he learned their true limits in the later weeks since he first arrived.

The Forgemaster climbed down the incline that was present in this part of the tunnel, and looked down the strait-shot all the way to where the tunnel ends to see Shattered Globe and Broken Bulb already there staring at the ladder with an extremely perplexed look on his face.

'Oh yeah, that's a ladder… ponies can't use those.' He thought.

The Forgemaster chuckled to himself as he approached the secret agent. Once next to him, The Forgemaster looked up the ladder and put on the same expression that Globe had on.

After a few silent moments, he asked, "What the hay is it?"

The Forgemaster rolled his eyes and said, "It's a ladder. I have fingers so I can climb it, but it wasn't designed for ponies at all." The Forgemaster chuckled at his indignant expression, then cocked a thumb up the ladder, "I'll go check if the coast is clear, then I'll lift you up."

The Forgemaster climbed the ladder silently, though it wouldn't really matter at all, some habits are hard to break but moving silently wasn't one that he ever wanted to go. It was just too damn useful.

The Forgemaster slowly lifted the metal cover to the tunnel hole, raising it only a few inches so that he can look in every direction without being spotted. Once assured that no one was in sight, he lifted the cover further and placed it off to the side before hauling himself up onto the ground. Thankfully, he managed to put the tunnel exit behind a bush nearby the entrance to his house, so he wouldn't be seen easily. He had strategically placed the exit in a tiny forest in the middle of town, a small thing, no more than a few bushes and trees, but it was sanctuary for the moment. Afterwards, he reached down into the tunnel and lifted Globe out by a hoof.

He had just taken Globe out of the hole when behind him he hears, "F~o~rgey…" in a quiet, creepy, drawn out voice.

He immediately drops Globe out of fright. Globe yelled out a scream for a moment, he was still halfway inside the tunnel opening after all, but he managed to grip the wall in time, and haul himself up to ground level as well.

The Forgemaster quickly turned towards the sound of the voice, silently cursing his bad luck, and spotted Pinkie Pie quite fast.

She was, after all, about 6 inches from him.

She was hanging from the trees above her in an effort to bring herself to eye-level with him. Her mane was all straightened out and her eyes had a mixture of crazy and sadness that immediately put The Forgemaster on edge.

"Yes Pinkie?" he nervously asked.

"Why aren't you at my party? I made it especially for you and your friend."

"I-I'm sorry, Pinkie." He stuttered, "W-we didn't know about it."

She regarded him with suspicion for a few moments, gazing deeply into the depths of his soul… when suddenly.

"OKAY!" She suddenly smiled brightly and her mane regained its poofiness and she dropped from the trees above her only to start jumping around him in circles, "I-thought-you-weren't-going-to-the-party-and-that-made-me-sad-so-I-decided-to-go-and-look-for-you-because-I-thought-you-were-being-a-meanie-mean-mean-pants-but-it's-okay-now-because-you're-here-and-you're-coming-to-the-party-right!"

The Forgemaster looked unfocused for a moment, apparently trying to digest the spew of words just thrown at him, "Alright." He drawled out after a moment.

Pinkie just stared at him for a moment before smiling again just as brightly.

She turned to Globe and said, "Oh look a new pony! Good thing I knew he was coming or else I couldn't have made the party into both a 'welcome back' party AND a 'welcome to Ponyville' party! What's your name! My name's Pinkie Pie!"

Globe reached out with a hoof to shake hers and started to say, "The name's Shatt-" but he moaned for a moment before clutching his head in pain. He quickly stopped and looked back up at Pinkie Pie before matching her bright smile and saying, "Hiya! I'm Broken Bulb, nice tah meet'cha!"

"It's so nice to meet yah Bulby! Now c'mon we have to go to the party all the other ponies are waiting!"

She rapidly bounced away and Broken Bulb, who apparently just forcibly took over the body even from the depths of his self-imposed imprisonment, stayed back a moment to say, "I really like her! She's awesome in every way!" he then followed after her, matching her bouncing gait jump for jump.

The Forgemaster sighed, mumbled about having '2 of them now', and followed after them at his own pace.

wWwWwWw

In the meantime, those at the party were still in their positions to enact the surprise. Then again, both of those the party was for knew about it… So, it won't be a surprise, per se, maybe more like... a town-wide yell at The Forgemaster and whoever this new pony was that Pinkie had said was coming the day before.

The townsponies were confused when Pinkie had barged into the Town Hall early in the morning the previous day and said that The Forgemaster was coming home and was bringing another pony with him. She just immediately started putting up decorations and setting up the snacks. She really did a good job, but the ponies had no idea whether Pinkie was telling the truth or not. Then again, she did justify it with saying that her 'tail twitched, her knees shook, and her eyes tingled'. Apparently, that's Pinkie-sense for 'somepony is coming home with a new friend'. It wouldn't be the first time Pinkie had predicted something strange happening.

But, there was a problem: Pinkie was late.

Huddled underneath a table together were Applejack, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow. After a few more minutes of Pinkie being late, they started to discuss Pinkie.

Rainbow spoke up first, "Ugh, Pinkie's so late!"

"Ah agree, she's been out there for an awfully long time." Applejack put in.

"Y-You don't think s-something happened to her, do you?" Fluttershy quietly asked.

The blank stares she got in response answered her nervous question.

Twilight said, "I would be more worried about her happening to something."

A loud explosion drowned out whatever response there may have been. The entire building shook and confetti and sweets scattered throughout the room, which was now full of ponies trying to collect their bearings. A quick look to the door revealed… the outside?

The Forgemaster was standing there, rubbing the back of his head in exasperation, Pinkie Pie was there as well, doing almost the same thing only with a lot more giggles, and there was a second pony there bouncing up and down in utter glee.

Twilight thought she heard The Forgemaster say something about the real surprise being that the building was still standing, but was still shocked from the explosion and could have heard that wrong.

The ponies were supposed to have shouted 'surprise' by now, but none could muster any sort of enthusiasm: they were all still disoriented from the explosion.

A few minutes passed before any of the ponies inside were able to think straight. Surprisingly, Rainbow Dash was the first one to snap back to life after such an event, probably due to similar events in the past involving lightning and cliff sides. While all of the other ponies were still stumbling about, shell shocked, she ran full tilt at The Forgemaster and tackled him to the ground. She tackled him straight to the ground, he not offering any resistance to her, and stood on his chest, face inches from his.

She roughly kissed him full on the lips before pulling back and slapping him across the face saying, "Don't you ever leave again and only tell me about it in a letter you bucking idiot!" afterwards, she immediately kissed him again, gentler this time.

None of the other ponies that weren't meant to see this moment hadn't, they were still in the midst of clearing out their ringing ears and regaining their balance.

After that, the ponies took to the party with increased vigor. Sadly, the party had to be taken outside as The Forgemaster dubbed the town hall a deathtrap. Considering the damage and the moans and groans of the structure, the ponies agreed it was a wise decision. So, the ponies had to look at the decorations from afar, but at least the snacks were saved by enterprising unicorns.

Broken Bulb appeared to be smitten with Pinkie Pie, though it wasn't clear if he actually was or not. Speaking to him was like speaking with a violent toddler so no one was sure if he liked Pinkie Pie in such a manner, it may just be the relationship that occurs between 2 adult children, who knows? Well, either way, Bulb spent the entirety of his time following Pinkie Pie, no easy feat, but he took to it religiously. Through her he met everypony in the town and was better for it.

Applejack correctly assumed he was a nut, and tried to steer clear. Rainbow Dash pretty much felt the same without the need to stay away from him as much. Twilight thought he was interesting considering his mental condition which he had told her about, few persons with multiple personality syndrome are aware of the other personalities, much less be able to actually carry on a conversation with the others. Fluttershy thought he was scary, but immediately changed her mind after he had suddenly given her a full-body hug, claiming that she was more adorable than The Forgemaster had let on. Rarity thought he was a child, and treated him as such, though when she came into contact with Shattered Globe, who managed to fight through for a few moments, enjoyed his company. Globe tried to be a gentlecolt if at all possible, though he still had terrible pick-up lines.

Thus, the agent known as Shattered Globe, Broken Bulb, and Silent Knife was introduced to Ponyville.

The Forgemaster, for his part, had most of his attention on Rainbow Dash. She had taken it upon herself to 'punish' him for leaving for a week and only telling them through a letter. Between slaps she devised more punishments for him, all the while being introduced to Broken Bulb and eating sweets.

Once, she told him that he would be sleeping on the couch but he replied that it was his house, to which her meaningful response was 'so'?

The other Elements just shook their heads at their antics. It was clear that they were perfect for each other, though The Forgemaster might have something to say about that.

Back in Canterlot, Celestia was still going through The Forgemaster's memories…

Chapter 64

Pinkie's party had turned out wonderfully. Though the partygoers weren't allowed inside, the party was still fun for all involved. In fact, it may have been even more successful due to the fact the party was outside. Broken Bulb had been introduced to the majority of Ponyvillians and was following Pinkie Pie about like a love-sick puppy. It was kind of cute, actually, though incredibly inconvenient. As it turns out, Bulb is the less productive of the 2, though that was easy enough to figure that out without actually seeing it firsthand.

Apparently, during the week he was gone, some wonderful things happened. During an excursion into the Everfree Forest, Twilight was somehow convinced of Pinkie Pie's abilities, to the amazement of The Forgemaster. He didn't believe it at first until Twilight herself confirmed it. Another thing that happened during the week was that Twilight got herself a new pet; Owlowiscious. Apparently, that caused some extreme jealousy in Spike before he cooled down after a day or 2. That's a damn shame too, now only he, Rainbow, and Spike don't have pets of their own.

(A/N – This means I'm not doing the episode where Twilight believes in Pinkie's Pinkieness nor am I doing the Owlowiscious episode, mostly because The Forgemaster wouldn't have a presence in the Owlowiscious episode and I don't want to do the other one.)

The Forgemaster, for his part, had spent the majority of the time after the party and before falling asleep consoling a distraught Rainbow Dash. As it turns out, she wasn't just upset about him leaving for a week, though she was still pretty mad about that, no, she had bigger issues to deal with. After getting home after the party, Rainbow Dash used the next few hours yelling at him, though the words become incomprehensible to any of the male species after not more than a few minutes. Eventually, she calmed down enough to have a civil conversation with him.

The Forgemaster was laid out on the couch, with Rainbow Dash draped over him. She had her head on his chest while looking out across the room. The Forgemaster had a hand going through her mane and she just let it happen, she was laying there thinking, perhaps about ways to torture him more. After a few quiet minutes of cuddling, Rainbow started to speak with him.

She said, "I'm mad at you."

While internally thinking, 'No shit?' he said out loud, "Why ever for?"

She sniffed, "It's not just 'cause you left, it's what happened when you were gone…"

She actually sounded kind of… sad when she said that.

'Damnit, now I have to talk to her…' he thought.

"What happened, Dashie, c'mon, you can tell me."

She sniffed again, "Ever since you became some big hot-shot in Canterlot, ponies have been talking about me. Normally that'd be great, but it's not! Newspapers, magazines, news ponies, they pick over every single thing in my life, they bring up all my mistakes, my flaws, and they don't shut up about it! And it's all because of you!" by this time she was definitely crying now, she flung her forelegs around his barrel-chest, sobbing into his shoulder.

He kept ruffling her mane in a comforting manner, or so he hoped, "Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, Dashie, it's alright." She calmed down after a few minutes and continued telling.

"They called me skinny, and over muscled, and garish, and, and-"she was cut off by another well of tears threatening to break through.

He took the opportunity to put in his own words, "Dashie, you shouldn't listen to what others think about you. Those words they use; they are as negative as can be. You aren't skinny, dear, you're just slender, a product of healthy living. You aren't over muscled, dear; you're just trim, fit! You earned those muscles through hard work and exercise and you should be proud of them. If anyone here is over muscled, it's me; I mean check out my arms. These things have been toughened and strengthened through hours and hours of whacking metal with a hammer as hard as I can. And you aren't garish, dear, you're just colorful. Besides, I'm sure they're all just jealous of your wonderful mane. And if you're garish, then every other pony is, too. I mean honestly, it's like everypony is in a race to be as colorful as possible, and if that's the case: you're winning."

She chuckled with tears still in her eyes, and then hit him with a hoof, but her heart wasn't in it, she sniffled a few more times before saying, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He whispered.

And that's how they spent that night, a smile on both of their faces… well, as close to an actual smile as The Forgemaster could get. Globe wasn't lying when he said that it looks like The Forgemaster makes the movements without feeling the emotion.

wWwWwWw

Celestia was bored. Not in the way, 'I have no idea what to do' bored, but in the 'I'm doing something that I can't get out of and I really, really want it to stop' bored.

She was in her throne room, sitting on her throne. All was as it should be, except for 1 teeny, tiny detail.

Her advisors were telling her all about the current state of the realm.

Not the important things like tax revenues and projected population growth, but literally every single detail that could ever come up ever. Like Celestia needs to know about the current population of rabbits in Hoofshire or the average height of trees in Canterlot, it was all just useless babble that her advisors thought she needed to know about.

I mean, really: Celestia has been on the throne for thousands of years and she will be on the throne for the next thousands of years: does she really need advisors, at all? It seems to me that any being with more than half of a brain cell would eventually learn how to do their job over a few hundred centuries, and Celestia had many, many more than just 1 brain cell. While she couldn't say that she was all-knowing, and neither could she say that she remembered everything in perfect clarity like The Forgemaster, she was still an incredibly intelligent pony with thousands of year's worth of experience.

And they still thought she needed advisors. Sometimes she doubted the common sense of the average pony.

'How long is it 'till it's Lulu's turn? Oh look, 4 hours… crud.' She thought.

And it wasn't just the advisors; oh no, all the nobles thought that daily court with Celestia was the high point of their day. Spread out on the left and right sides of the throne room were most of the nobles of the city, all of them chattering away with the others near them. Like daily court was some sort of country club for old crotchety noble idiots.

She took a lady-like sip of her tea, 'Thank goodness I added whiskey to my tea…' She thought, the mere thought of the nobles in her city driving her to drink.

And then there were the guards… absolutely useless in this endeavor. Though she supposed that with a word she could clear the hall and have some peace and quiet, that just wasn't what good leaders did… at least, that's not what she did. Come to think of it, she wasn't paying any attention at all; kicking them all out would serve the same purpose and save her a whole lot of time. But, that wasn't really an option, just the desperate plans of an incredibly bored mare.

'Somepony, anypony, help me!'

And yet, none of the ponies were aware of her distress, so carefully hidden it was behind a calm and serene mask.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster and Shattered Globe were on their way to Canterlot, the day after the party being the day they had to leave. Rainbow Dash had given The Forgemaster a hearty farewell in the form of an incredibly sudden and violent thunderstorm. Shattered Globe was only spared this because he wasn't in control at the moment. It took The Forgemaster a solid 15 minutes of describing the most blatant of sexual acts to get Bulb to go comatose this time. Apparently, being utterly devoted to Pinkie Pie while at the same time having zero sexual thoughts about her gave him a resistance to his treatments. The problem was that Bulb didn't want to leave, but they had to leave, and Globe couldn't overpower Bulb this time. Something about Pinkie just gave him the determination to stay with her; it was actually kind of cute.

For now, Bulb was paralyzed, or comatose, depending on your view of his unique situation, and Shattered Globe was in control. They were going to Canterlot to deliver their report, a series of good news all around, I might add. Perhaps the news of a delayed war would allay any punishment they would get for staying in Ponyville for the night. Globe was adamant that they would be imprisoned for daring to dally, (A/N – Ha!), but The Forgemaster knew that Celestia wouldn't mind. It didn't help Globe at all, to be honest.

The trip to Canterlot would take a few hours, and judging by the time they left it would be about sun down when they arrived. It's not like they left at the crack of dawn, some preparation was in order, in addition to finding Bulb. That had been an hour-long adventure all to its own.

But, there was 1 question on The Forgemaster's mind; Globe had said that Bulb was afraid of any contact with a mare, at all, and yet he was totally fine in Ponyville.

When asked, Globe said, "Yeah, I exaggerated a bit, my bad. What I meant to say was that Bulb is afraid of contact with any mare that he, you know, thinks about sex with. He's like an adolescent colt, though, so saying that it would happen if he meets any mare was about the truth. If you're wondering why he didn't pass out while talking with your friends, well, Applejack intimidated him, he probably saw Rainbow Dash as taken and didn't want to be killed by you, he actually did pass out when we talked to Rarity, she was just so gorgeous, I managed to gain control and talk with her for a while before Pinkie came back over, he probably saw Fluttershy as a little sister, that seems to happen to her a lot, I gather, something about her innate cuteness just drives everypony near her to love and protect her like a sibling, and I think he was too distracted by Twilight's constant questioning to even get a thought through about her. So yeah, that's that."

It was as good an explanation as any, and it actually made quite a bit of sense. However, Bulb was basically an insane man-child with hyper-violent tendencies. If Globe wasn't there to help distract him, they would probably both end up in an institution for the mentally ill, or maybe criminally insane. Depends on Bulb's last acts outside, I guess.

Things would've been fine for Globe, getting a commendation for having a good explanation was nothing to be modest about, but he had to say the next sentence, "By the way, nice catch with Rainbow Dash. She is the sexiest mare this side of Manehatten, Rarity's got classic good looks, but Rainbow is *whistles* hot!"

The Forgemaster walked in silence for a few more feet before turning his head and saying, "I hereby swear disproportionate retribution on you!"

The entity collectively known as Silent Knife would have a bump on its collective head for a week, and would have trouble chewing solid food for a month.

He had to be carried back to Canterlot, and was summarily dumped in a guard barracks bunk once there.

The Forgemaster was going to have some fun.

wWwWwWw

Celestia was anxious, happy as can be that her own personal hell would soon be over. In just a few moments, Luna would walk through that door, a stupid ritual would commence, and then she could go away!

The nobles yammered, the advisors drolled, but above it all Celestia heard, "Tick, tock, tick, tock…"

And finally… the door opened! It was Luna!

Celestia had to forcibly restrain herself from lifting a hoof to the heavens and releasing a single tear of joy while shouting out her happiness for all to hear.

The advisors, finally, stopped talking once Luna was in the room. In fact, everypony did. They all stopped their incessant speaking to let the next poor, tortured soul walked through the gates of hell to sit on their throne of boredom and then listen to them complain, complain, complain.

Princess Luna, much like Celestia, was dressed in her royal regalia. Although instead of golden shoes and crown, Luna had on black shoes and crown. With her came a detachment of Lunar guards, exact replicas of the Solar guards only in darker colors and designs. As she walked down the cleared red carpet, to her left and right Lunar guards replaced their Solar counterparts in perfect harmony to the speed she was walking. By the time she arrived at the throne, the guards immediately next to the throne would be Lunar as well.

However, that wasn't the case. Princess Luna was no more than 5 paces away from the throne, with Celestia standing to meet her half-way, when a loud scream was heard.

It wasn't a scream of someone in pain; in fact if one listened closely they could make out words and hear that it was getting louder, and therefore, closer.

In fact, the words being screamed were barely recognizable but were heard as, "AUNTIE TIA!"

Seemingly out of nowhere, a small dark red blur shot out and impacted Celestia on the side, sending her sprawling. The guards readied themselves for battle while the cloud of dust slowly settled down.

What they saw surprised them. There, lying on her back with the foal Crimson Hammer standing on her was Princess Celestia. And she was smiling as large as can be. In fact, young Crimson looked incredibly happy as well. Celestia, though no one knew, was silently thinking about how perfectly timed this interruption was.

The nobles and citizenry were appalled, the guards were quietly struggling not to chuckle as they recognized their commander, and Luna was just staring. She had heard of The Forgemaster's playful side but she had never seen it herself.

Crimson was bouncing up and down on Princess Celestia's downed form, somehow sparing her from any discomfort at the same time and basically using her as a trampoline, and yelling at the same time, "Auntie Tia, Auntie Tia! I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back!"

Suddenly he froze, in midair, looked down at Celestia, twisted his head to the side as though he were figuring out some great mystery, and, with all seriousness a child can have, asked, "Auntie Tia, why are you on the floor?" and then dropped back down on her chest.

The guards were silently and stoically almost dying from restrained laughter, they had moved back to their posts so as to get a better view of both the main event, and the reaction of the stupid nobles, when the 'threat' was recognized.

Celestia was also quietly laughing to herself, never before had she been this happy to have a friend who could shape shift… it was like he knew exactly how to cheer her up after a long, boring day at work.

Celestia, still underneath Crimson, asked, "So how was your trip?" completely ignoring his question, recognizing it as rhetorical.

Crimson jumped off of her and into the air, gliding around on his tiny wings before coming to a landing right in front of Celestia, "Ooh! I had a great time, it was so much fun! I caused a 'splosion! No ponies were hurt, though. But, Auntie! I had a question!"

Celestia had stood up and Crimson was now standing in front of her, looking up at her with wide eyes, Celestia said, "And what would that be, Crimson?"

"How come I only see 1 of your eyes at a time?" he asked, as innocent as possible, "Are you a Cyclops! Did you get it poked out in a paperwork accident! Did-"

Celestia cut him off, smiling fondly at him as one would a child in a similar situation, "No, none of that,, it is merely a product of my mane style."

Crimson froze for a moment, narrowing his eyes as though thinking on the meanings of the words used, suddenly, he brightened and looked up at her mane, eyes wide with wonder.

"Auntie," he asked in awed voice, "How does your mane…" he held a foreleg out and tried to simulate the wavy motion.

"You mean the wavy thing?" she asked.

He nodded solemnly.

"I like the wavy thing." She said, as though that was all the explanation needed.

He was silent for a few moments, just staring up at her mane; eventually he reached a hoof up and put it into the flowing mane. The hairs acted as though in a flowing river, bending and flowing around the hoof. Celestia didn't mind and just watched him, with a giggly smile on her face as she watched the fake child-like glee on his face.

"Can I-"

"I'll teach you when you're older."

He nodded again, seemingly too entranced to listen.

By this time, all of the guards were red-faced and trying not to pee themselves, Luna was laughing out loud and trying not to pee herself, and the nobles were either turning their nose up in disgust or had a small smile on their faces from watching a 'family moment' that involved their ruler.

Eventually, Crimson took his hoof out of the flowing mane and sat back down. He was clam for a few moments, before he suddenly sprung back up again.

"Oo, oo, Auntie Tia, Auntie Tia!" he yelled trying to get her attention though she was only 3 feet in front of him.

"Yes, Crimson?" she asked.

"If blood is thicker than water, and maple syrup is thicker than blood, are pancakes more important than family?" he asked, once more using the most innocent of voices possible.

"I don't think so…" she said.

He let out a groan of frustration, mumbling under his breath, "I'll find somepony who shares my views one day."

After having a nice quiet sulk for about 2 seconds, he did a complete 180 and asked, "Do you wanna play with me?" with his voice and eyes full of hope.

Celestia said, "Sure-"

Crimson jumped up onto her back and pulled a helmet fashioned out of a craved pineapple out of nowhere before placing it on his head, "I am the Pineapple King! I will call you Sir Biscuits-and-Cheese and you will be my best pal! Now, we ride to the kitchen, away!"

Celestia and Crimson rode away laughing, Celestia stopped long enough at the door to say back to the room, "Coming Lulu?"

Luna was after them in an instant, taking off the ceremonial armor and shoes while saying, "Goodness yes!"

By the time Princess Luna had ran out in chase of her sister and 'nephew', the guards were already on the floor, holding their sides from the laughter-pain.

(A/N – basically filler, but fun!)

Chapter 65

There comes a time in every man's life when he must revert to a child-like form for a little bit. Many have called this the mid-life crisis, where older men try and rediscover their youth through alternative means. The Forgemaster, by definition, cannot have a mid-life crisis, however, he can and often does become bored quite easily. As evidence, the night previous is the most recent event, but it is not the only such occurrence.

After the scheduled play time was over, which mainly consisted of raiding the kitchen, running about, and pranking and messing with the guards in various ways, the 3 went to 'the situation room'-as The Forgemaster jokingly called it-and discussed what had happened in Griffonia. The Forgemaster was correct when he said earlier that he had caused an explosion and no ponies were hurt. An innocent remark, er... kind of, coming from a foal, but what he had neglected to mention was that many griffons were killed in the explosion. Thankfully, he still had that recording of the explosion. Celestia and Luna both appreciated the video, though Luna liked it a whole lot more, most likely because Celestia knew that the explosion had taken lives, while Luna just took it at face value, either that or she just ignored the life-taking aspect of the multi-colored explosion.

The discussion about the mission was surprisingly simple. A few questions were asked and answered, all easily and efficiently. Nothing was left out and the princesses were both informed fully. A good debriefing if there ever was one.

Finally, after the rum had run out, The Forgemaster was allowed to sleep for the night in the castle. He had done so before, though he often didn't, and a room that was his was immediately across from his office for just such an occasion. After bidding his princesses a god night, he retired to his room and fell asleep.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster awoke to the sound of someone knocking on his door, a very loud and insistent knock. He groaned loudly and forced himself awake. While taking advantage of still having hands by rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he focused his magic and transformed himself into an adult Crimson Hammer.

'How rude,' He was thinking, 'who in their right mind would wake someone up at… 11:30 A.M? Ugh… Rainbow's rubbing off on me…'

He stood off of the bed fully and walked to the door. Upon opening, it revealed a certain Captain Shining Armor.

"What, Captain?" he asked, as nicely as someone who had just woken from sleep could ask.

"Good… almost afternoon, sir." Shining Armor smiled cheekily, "The princess asked that you be summoned to break, er, lunch, and I volunteered. I figured it'd be faster to deliver the reports this way, without you running off to do who knows what."

"What're the odds of meat being served?" he asked, with the same cheeky grin on Armor's face.

"Slim to none, sir." With the same insufferable grin on his face.

The Forgemaster narrowed his eyes, "Cheeky bastard."

He stepped out into the hallway and walked towards the dining room, Shining Armor following along after him.

"Anything interesting happen recently, Captain?"

"Well, I was walking through the barracks this morning, I was startled to find a certain secret agent there by the way, and all of the guards were gossiping, like old mares they were, and all of the gossip was of you, strangely enough."

The Forgemaster shook his head, and said business like, "No, I did not have sexual relations with Princess Luna, those rumors are false."

He kept walking towards the dining room, but Shining Armor was shocked into freezing up. It took a solid 7 seconds for Shining Armor to catch up with him once out of his trance.

Shining Armor shakily asked, "Sir-"

He was cut off by The Forgemaster, "No, I was joking," He rolled his eyes, "honestly."

"Oh, thank Celestia." He breathed out, "Anyways, the rumors I was talking about, not whatever you were going on about, all centered around you having a 'play date' with the 2 princesses. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't stop them. I think it turned out well for you; honestly, the guards have been worrying about the princesses for generations, or at least; they've been worrying about Celestia for generations, Luna has only recently come back and I'm the first Captain in many generations of Captains to protect her. My predecessors and I have always worried that they haven't been getting enough off-time or fun, and then you came along and the princesses are smiling as happy as can be. The guards, foolish though the sentiment may be, care deeply for our princesses, not just by protecting them, but we also want them to have social lives of their own. You know, have a nice time instead of just working all the time. The guards, all of them, deeply appreciate bringing fun into their lives."

The Forgemaster stopped and turned towards the Captain, "So the guard has a misbegotten idea that they are collectively the princesses' older brother and they wanted them to get outside every once in a while, and I helped bring some light into their lives?"

Shining Armor hesitantly said, "Essentially, you've got the right idea…"

The Forgemaster grew a huge grin on his face and ran away yelling, "I'm telling Celestia!"

Somehow, magic probably, The Forgemaster easily outran Shining Armor, making it to the dining area in record time. Shining Armor ran after him, as quickly as he could, but couldn't keep up with him. Inevitably, he fell behind. That didn't stop him from running, however, he ran all the way down the stairs and hallways to the dining room. Shining Armor burst into the dining room, quickly spying a startled Celestia, Luna, and even Cadance, and an amused Forgemaster all sitting at the dining table and frozen in various stages of eating. The food present was standard pony-lunch affair, consisting of salads, fruits, and tea. Celestia took the time to finish her bite and daintily wipe her mouth before she spoke.

"Why were you running, Captain?" Celestia asked.

"Wha-, bu-, huh?" Shining Armor ever so eloquently replied.

The 4 alicorns in the room just stared back at him, The Forgemaster amused but hiding it behind his fork.

Eventually, Luna said, "Captain, there is no reason for you to be running about."

Shining Armor easily replied, "I apologize, princess." They noticed that he was giving The Forgemaster the evil eye though.

"Come Captain; tell us what you told me earlier." The Forgemaster said whilst smirking.

"I'd… really rather not…" he started.

"Oh won't you please tell us?" Cadance asked, with puppy dog eyes and a trembling lip; the ultimate weapon.

While Shining hesitated, The Forgemaster mumbled, "If you don't, I will." While taking a sip of tea.

That got him, Shining Armor sighed heavily, "Fine. The guards have collectively worried after the princesses' social development for generations. The fact that you have found a friend that you can act normally with, instead of as you do in public, is incredibly refreshing for the guard. The Forgemaster, or rather his pony counter-part Crimson Hammer, is nearly adored by all of the guards that I have spoken with for, and I quote, 'taking the princesses out of their shell'."

The heavy silence belied a tension in the room so thick you could cut it with a knife, fry it up, and eat it on whole wheat bread. It was building to an almost uncomfortable silence, one that needed to be addressed.

Just as Celestia opened her mouth to speak, The Forgemaster broke the silence by asking in a cheery tone that was completely out of place in the tense environment, "So Celestia how was your date with Fancypants?"

"WHAT!"

4 heads simultaneously rotated to face Shining Armor. Shining Armor wilted under the glares from 3 princesses and his boss, and hastily stammered out an apology.

"Honestly, Captain, "Luna said, "There's no need to yell, especially not indoors."

The other nodded their agreement with Luna.

After a few moments of 'politely' staring at the good Captain to make sure he got the message, Celestia turned back to The Forgemaster and said, "It was a fairly pleasurable evening. It's been too long since I've gone outside the castle walls as a normal mare. Even so, Fancypants was too much of a gentlecolt to make me feel as anything less than a princess. It was an entirely confusing evening, for me, though I imagine that any other mare would've fallen for him there and then."

"How was it confusing?" asked Cadance.

"Well, if you are treated as a princess for the majority of your life, and you sneak out so that ponies won't treat you as a princess, only to have the stallion you are on a date with treat you as a princess, it leads to a fairly confusing situation." Celestia explained.

"Which reminds me," The Forgemaster turned to Shining Armor, "Status report, Captain: what is the situation regarding code-named Operation Wedding Bells?"

While the other 3 alicorns looked on in confusion, Shining Armor saluted and then reported in a brisk, efficient manner, "Operation proceeding as scheduled, sir, target relationship within acceptable parameters. Next meeting with contact to be held at one 'Canterlot Oasis' at 2200 hours this Friday, sir!"

"Good, good; continue as ordered." The Forgemaster put his hooves together in a diabolical manner, "All is proceeding as I have planned. Muhahaha!" he then began to laugh evilly, shortly joined by Shining Armor.

While all stared at the 2 with blank, uncomprehending looks, The Forgemaster said, "Which reminds me, how's it going with Cadance?"

"It's going pretty good, sir, I want to try to take things slow, but they're going as well as can be expected. My next date with Cadance is at the 'Canterlot Oasis' at 10 o'clock this Friday." The 2 males then broke out into relatively normal laughs, though with the malice of the earlier laughter converted into mischievousness.

Their laughter was joined by the others' as they got the joke that they had done. Celestia's and Luna's musical, ringing laughter alongside the others' more mundane ones.

The Forgemaster finally stopped laughing and said to the couple, "Alright, you 2 kids: get out of here!"

They both began to walk out of the dining hall, but The Forgemaster yelled after them, "If you don't propose within the month I'll make you clean the latrines for a year!"

The Forgemaster leaned back in his chair, a content smile on his face, a genuine one, caused by the panic he had induced in his subordinate. Luna, Celestia, and he sat in silence for a few minutes, perfectly content with basking in the utter bliss of doing, and having to do, nothing.

'Well, nows as good a time as any…' he thought.

"So, Celestia, "He said, breaking the comfortable silence, "Why is it that this race of ponies is called Alicorn? If I had my way, we'd be named Pegacorn or Unicegasus! I mean, we have both horns and wings…" he trailed off sheepishly, recognizing the dumbfounded look on Celestia's face.

"Forgemaster, the reason is quite simple." She said, "I liked the name." she finished with a knowing grin.

The Forgemaster slowly grew a grin and then chuckled, soon to be joined by the other 2.

After that winded down, The Forgemaster asked, "So, Celly, what is your opinion regarding the guards selfless adoration of me?"

She smiled a shit-eating grin, "Please, Forgemaster, do not underestimate me. I probably knew about their attitudes regarding my social development long before they did. It started with unconscious mannerisms and so forth; I saw them and devised a simple solution to the puzzle: they were worried after me in a manner not entirely regulated by their job description. It's actually kind of flattering when you think about it."

They sat in silence for a few more moments before The Forgemaster said, "So, if you don't have anything to talk about… I'm just gonna vamoose."

As he slowly started to turn away, Celestia said, "Wait, Forgemaster, there is something I would like to speak with you about."

The Forgemaster turned back and raised a questioning brow.

"Forgemaster, I believe that now would be a good time to talk about what we have learned from each other." Celestia stated with all seriousness.

"Go ahead, I'm all ears." He said with a cheeky grin.

"Ever since we have exchanged memories, "Celestia began, "I cannot help but feel differently about some things. I noticed when instead of merely feeling irritated at the bureaucrats, I was actively angry with them. I believe that your memories and mine are becoming… skewed, as it were. Earlier this morning, I was even more put-off than usual at the usual antics of the nobles. I daresay that they are affecting me in subtle and almost imperceptible ways, and I am sure the same is happening to you."

The Forgemaster was silent for a few moments, calmly taking in the information and thinking on it.

"Wait…" he suddenly shouted, "You mean that's why I'm so talkative! Cause of your damned memories I can actually carry a conversation! Aw, shit." He was silent for a few moments again, "So that's why I've actually been experiencing emotions recently, cause of your happy-go-lucky mind-set affecting my cold-as-ice and I-don't-give-a-fuck personality. Damnit."

"I see that you are taking this much better than I had thought." She said, deadpan.

He angrily pointed a hoof at her, "Cause of you, I can feel things again! Do you know how long it's going to take to go back to an unfeeling asshole? That was my favorite thing to be! I think... I'm not sure now. Damn."

"And there's the anger, "She said, rolling her eyes, "But, honestly, is it such a bad thing?"

He glared at her, "It depends on how you look at it."

"Oh please, my angsty friend. While I'm sure that you are angered by this on a fundamental level, this can only be a good thing in a land like Equestria."

"I'm not angsty! Only emo and idiotic teenagers that think they have it bad but they're actually much, much better off than they know are angsty. I have a genuine reason to act as I do, they are just pussies."

While Celestia's glare had the force of a thousand suns and a lifetime of training in disappointed looks behind it, The Forgemaster's had the weight of an eternity of living in pain, suffering, and loneliness behind it. The Forgemaster felt that he could win with his patented 'Forgemaster Death Glare' (TM) while Celestia believed she had the upper hand with her 'maternal disappointment glare' and 'I control the freaking sun' glares. It was unclear which was more powerful, but they would continue until one or the other loses.

The 2 had a glaring/staring match for a few moments before they were interrupted.

"Excuse me, but what the hay are you talking about?"

The 2 turned towards the interrupter, a very confused Luna, simultaneously. However, both forgot to defuse their glares and gave Luna the full brunt of their combined glare power, almost immediately scaring her to death before they tuned it down.

The Forgemaster gruffly stated, "Long story short: Celestia wanted my memories, I said no and stole hers, later on I found that she was trustworthy and gave her my memories. Now, apparently, they are affecting us in various ways. I am becoming more like her and she like me, and undoubtedly both of us are afraid of the changes it might bring and are putting the blame, and taking our anger out on, the other."

All 3 looked stunned at the monologue, even The Forgemaster.

"That was, surprisingly mature of you, Forgemaster." Celestia said after a moment.

"I blame your damn influence." He relpied.

"Never mind…"

wWwWwWw

Shortly after this conversation, The Forgemaster teleported all the way back to his home in Ponyville. He appeared directly in front of his home, proving once more that accuracy is especially important in teleportation spells. No one wants to be teleported into a rock; you would die.

The Forgemaster went into his home so that he may get clothes and take a shower. The Spartan room he had taken for himself, combined with the rather abrupt awakening, prevented him from taking one at the castle. When he entered the house, he couldn't hear any sounds from inside. The Forgemaster concluded that Rainbow Dash was still asleep, she generally woke sometime past noon and it was about that time. Consequently, he decided to be sneaky, as too minimize any chances of waking Rainbow from her slumber. He walked up the stairs and went to the bathroom. When he opened the door, he discovered that Rainbow Dash was not, in fact, asleep but she was just stepping out of the shower.

As it turns out, 2 seconds before The Forgemaster opened the door, Rainbow Dash turned off the water in the shower. And 2 seconds before he stepped through the bathroom door without knocking she had opened the shower curtain to step out.

She took one look at him and then wrapped the shower curtain around her while screaming, "Get out, you buck head I'm naked! Get out, get out, get out!"

The Forgemaster arched a brow and said, "You walk around outside naked every day."

She yelled back, "But I'm not wet when I do!"

"How does that change anything?" he asked, still in the doorway.

"Sh-shut up! I'm a mare and I have the right to be inconsistent!" she screamed.

The Forgemaster shrugged as best he could as a quadruped and stepped out of the bathroom.

Arguing with Rainbow had zero positive benefits. On the one hand, he knew he was right but she would never change or admit that, so he kept it to himself. And on the other hand, continuing the argument would only lead to punishments… well, as big a punishment as Rainbow could give. Not that big, come to think of it.

Rainbow came out of the bathroom no more than 40 seconds later, completely dry, probably some sort of dark, female, magic that only females know. The Forgemaster took his turn, and then got dressed.

As soon as he was finished, Rainbow came up to him and said, "Hey! I made some cool new tricks, wanna watch me practice?"

The Forgemaster nodded and went with Rainbow to one of her usual practice grounds. He sat under a tree and leaned against it. After watching Rainbow's hypnotizing motions across the sky, The Forgemaster began to doze off. Finally, even though he woke up no more than an hour before hand, The Forgemaster fell asleep.

Probably some kind of dark, male, magic that only males know.

(A/N – Next chapter is going to be that pet episode, the one where Rainbow gets Tank. And yes, Forgey gets his own. I've already thought the pet up and it's going to be truly, epically, unique.)

Chapter 66

The Forgemaster was rather enjoying his nap. While using a tree as a pillow might be considered uncomfortable to some, The Forgemaster had slept on worse things. After Rainbow Dash had resounded him with some of her more difficult and flashy tricks, he had slowly fallen asleep while leaning against the tree.

As previously mentioned, The Forgemaster rarely, if ever, dreams. Instead, he remembers and relives past events. At the moment, he was reliving the Battle of Thermopylae. One of his larger and more memorable fights; it all would've been fine, for a while at least, if that damnable Ephialtes hadn't turned traitor. The Forgemaster hates a great many things, but traitors and betrayers are worse than the vilest of murderers, rapists, and sadists. Taking a quote from a conversation of his between himself and Mark Antony, 'Trash, scum, filth, waste, the absolute lowest denominator of humanity. That's what the fuck traitors are.' Of course, this was immediately after the death of Gaius Julius Caesar, so he may or may not have been extraordinarily angry at the time, thus skewing his words. However, he irrefutably hates traitors of all forms.

While he was musing on these events in his mind, he was suddenly awoken by Rainbow's scream.

He cracked an eye, noticed her on the branch above him, noticed the pets of the others around him, saw said others coming out of the corner of his eye, and closed the eye again.

The other 5 of his seemingly selective group of tiny, female friends decided to run towards him to be reunited with their pets.

'There goes my nap. Damn.' He thought.

Applejack ran by with Winona calling out, "Let's get this thing started!"

Pinkie Pie seemed to be giggling to herself while a small alligator bit her across her body.

'Yet more evidence that she's invincible to everything.' The Forgemaster thought. (A/N – he doesn't know that Gummy is toothless.)

Rainbow Dash flew down from her branch, where she had also been taking a nap apparently, and landed beside him.

The Forgemaster couldn't help but think, 'Great minds think alike.'

Rarity walked towards them with Opalescence on her back and said, "Sincerest apologies, Rainbow, if our pets were bothering you." She turned to her pet, "Say you're sorry Opal."

Opal hissed in obvious anger or disagreement, but Rarity turned back and sheepishly said, "She's… sorry."

Rarity moved away and Fluttershy walked forward instead, "Oh my, I'm so sorry that we woke you up from your nap. We didn't mean to- eep!" she squeaked.

Fluttershy had gotten too close to The Forgemaster; he reached out and grabbed her before pulling her in close to snuggle. Using sleep to explain away a snuggle session with Fluttershy was worth it, he'd do it every time. He pulled her in close with an arm and kept up the pretense of sleep by mock snoring while holding her next to him. He took the time to truly appreciate the moment.

It was truly one of the greater moments of his life, and that was saying something profound.

Fluttershy hadn't resisted, she just melted into the hug, and it was so adorable. Her pink mane got in The Forgemaster's face and it was incredibly soft. He held her close and relished in her soft, cute, adorableness. Every time he would pat her, she would giggle uncontrollably and snuggle closer to him. She was like a gigantic plush toy.

Fluttershy seemed to mumbling, "Oh dear, oh my, oh dear…" through the giggles and she was as red as a tomato.

And then Rainbow had to ruin it, "Hey! Get up! Forgey doesn't snore!"

The Forgemaster groaned loudly in discontent.

He let Fluttershy go and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and yawning, he then weakly glared at Rainbow, who was smirking, and yelled, "That was the best moment of my life, and you ruined it!"

"If you want to snuggle anypony, it should be me!" she yelled back.

"But Fluttershy is adorable!" he yelled.

"I can be adorable too!"

"Yeah, but not on Fluttershy's level!"

"It's impossible to be adorable on her level!"

"I know!"

"Then stop asking for things I can't be!"

"Then stop being a spoil sport!"

"Fluttershy looked like she was going to die from embarrassment!"

"I was about to die from cuteness overload!" he said.

"Then it's a good thing you let go of her isn't it?!" she asked.

"No, I would gladly die of cuteness overload; it is one of the more pleasant ways to die!"

"If you ever die, I'll go to the underworld and drag you home myself!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

"You can't! You'll be dead!"

"Then it looks like I'll have to die to see that, doesn't it!"

"Yes!" she yelled.

He narrowed his eyes, "Impasse, sir, impasse!"

"I'm a mare!"

"I know!"

"You want to go to out for food later!?"

"Of course! You combine 2 of my most favorite things; being around you, and eating!" he proclaimed.

"Great! And you're paying!" she yelled.

"I know! You ever wonder why when males get paid more than females it's 'sexism' but when males pay for the whole meal it's being 'chivalrous'!?"

"No! I never thought about that! You're still paying for the food though!"

"Yeah, well, fuck you!"

"I don't even know what that means!"

"'Fuck' is a unique word in English. It is used, often several times in a sentence, as a noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, adverb, and possibly even as a conjunction. Sometimes, all at the same time…" he explained.

"But what does it mean!?"

"It's basically the human version of 'buck'!"

"What!?"

"Yep, that's what it means."

"If you wanted to buck, why didn't you just ask!?"

"I don't know, why do you go around flying all the time!?" he asked.

"Because I love the feel of the wind in my mane, the freedom that I feel by flying above everypony else, and the sheer joy of being unrestrained!" she yelled.

"Then why do you like getting tied up when we have sex!?"

"Shut up! We promised never to discuss things outside the bedroom, but if you're being so open about our sex life: why do you like getting the-"

"Although I don't prefer it, I can get off on a little pain now and then. I call it selective masochism, is that so bad!?"

"No! But a better question would be why do you like to do it as a pony!?"

"As a human I'm more than 3 times your size, and I thought you would like a little familiarity in your sex life!"

"Didn't you ever think that I liked you because you were different!?"

"No! That's never a reason that anyone has ever liked anyone ever!"

"Well too bad!"

The argument ended with a set of mutual glares. They had been yelling loud enough to scare a dragon and angrily enough to put a Celestia rampage to shame. The others looked on with trepidation, they had been yelling awfully loudly after all, almost so loudly as to blur what they were saying but what they had heard was… incredibly private. They were staring at the couple and were very uncomfortable, they were afraid of what might happen next.

Twilight worked up the courage to ask, "Are you 2 alright?"

The glares were immediately fixated on her, scaring her quite completely.

The Forgemaster said, "We're fine, this is just what happens when 2 A-class personalities are in a relationship with each other."

Rainbow nodded and continued, "Besides, every healthy couple argues sometimes."

"And it usually ends in great makeup sex." The Forgemaster finished with a goofy grin and reached out an arm to drag Rainbow into a 1 armed embrace as they faced the other 5 mares and their pets.

"But, after the food." She said with the same grin.

"Yes, of course, Dashie." He sighed, "Now, if you don't mind me; I'm going to try to go back to sleep, far away from here, preferably."

The Forgemaster got up and walked away, hoping to find himself somewhere nice and quiet to take a nap. In Ponyville, random trees far from any paths just weren't good enough apparently. As he walked away, he couldn't help but hear some of the conversation going on behind him, along with the commotion that the mares playing with their pets caused.

"What are you all doing out here?" Rainbow asked.

"Why, we always round up our critters for a regular ol' Pony Pet Play date in this park." Applejack heartily replied.

"Uh, you do?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Same time every week." Applejack explained.

'So that's why they were there, it wasn't because the tree wasn't far enough from the path; it was because the made a group decision to ruin my damn naps… I'll get them back.' The Forgemaster thought.

He was now officially out of ear-shot, thankfully. Now he just has to find a nice, comfortable, quiet place to take a nap. A sudden thought struck him when he recalled where he was and in which direction he was heading - what better place for a nap than Fluttershy's house?

So there he was, not 5 minutes later, sitting on Fluttershy's nice grassy roof, her animal friends everywhere around him, as far as can be from Ponyville and still technically be in Ponyville, waiting to fall asleep on the nice, soft grass. There were a few ducks, a goat, what appeared to be a tortoise, a chicken house probably stuffed with chickens, a vulture, of all things, a falcon, a hawk, a couple miscellaneous birds, and a small baby fox that appeared to be an albino no more than 5 feet away from him with the same general idea: soft grass + quiet atmosphere = nap time. He laid out and stared at the sky, wishing that the clouds in the sky will help whisk him off to sleep…

Unfortunately, because the gods hate him, it wasn't to be.

He was a solid 5 seconds away from falling asleep once more, when into Fluttershy's yard flies Fluttershy with Rainbow, walking for once, right after her.

Completely shattering his expectations of an adorably quiet Fluttershy, he got an adorably singing Fluttershy.

"Now, Rainbow, my dear, I cannot express my delight

It's abundantly clear

That somewhere out here

Is the pet that will suit you just right!"

No matter how cute it was, and it was pretty damn cute, it prevented him from sleeping. It also appeared to have woken the baby albino fox as well. At the same time, The Forgemaster was thinking 'Rainbow's getting a pet? Ha! She probably caved to peer pressure…'

"I can't wait to get started, but first let me set a few rules

It's of utmost importance

The pet that I get

Is something that's awesome and cool!"

The Forgemaster, grumbling, did his best to block out the noise, and noticed the baby fox doing the same.

Fluttershy replied, "Awesome and cool? Got it!" she then sang.

"I have so many wonderful choices, just wait, you will see!"

The Forgemaster was holding his hands over his ears while crying anime tears, a little trick he picked up from Japan. The Forgemaster always thought that Japan became a little… weird… after World War II.

The baby fox was feeling much the same and ran over to The Forgemaster and buried his head into his gut while he lay there, to try and block out the noise and hopefully get some sleep. Come to think of it, The Forgemaster liked this little guy; he liked naps, for one thing, that's always good, and for another he as albino, can't get more interesting than that, and finally; he was a fox, foxes are always fun characters to have around.

"I need something real fast like a bullet to keep up with me!" Rainbow Dash sang.

'If Rainbow is going to keep making references like that, I don't mind teaching her about my homeland. That just reminded me of home.' The Forgemaster thought.

The little fox was snuggling into his stomach, growling quietly in contentment.

"Sure! How 'bout a bunny?

They're cutesy and wootsie and quick as can be!"

"Cutesy, wootsie? Have you even met me?" Rainbow asked.

'HAHA! That one was good.' He thought.

The fox had finally snuggled into him as close as it could get, and laid down on The Forgemaster with its bushy tail wrapped around his body.

"Rainbow, have faith

You see, I will bet you

Somewhere in here is the pet that will get you!"

'Do they plan these songs out or do they just rhyme completely randomly and it just happens to work out? Ugh, confound these ponies they drive me to confusion.'

The Forgemaster found himself scratching the ears of the young fox absentmindedly.

Fluttershy then flew away saying, "Come on, the sky is the limit!"

Rainbow followed, saying, "Sky is good, I'd like it to fly."

'I knew that before I even knew why you were here, Dashie.'

"Really?" Fluttershy reached into her home and withdrew a cat, "Because I think this widdle puddy tat has your name written all over it. Yes, he does." The cat cuddled up to Rainbow's cheek, "Aww, look, he likes you!"

Rainbow paused for an instant in thought before saying, "Pass."

The fox was having a grand old time having its ears scratched, and practically purred from the treatment.

Fluttershy skipped away, not the least bit concerned with Rainbow's constant refusals.

"I have so many wonderful choices for you to decide

There are otters and seals

With massive appeal!"

'I think Fluttershy is aiming in the completely wrong direction, hell if I knew Rainbow for 5 minutes I'd know what she might want as a pet, something fast, something agile, something with guts, something with style, something awesome, cool, radical, but above all: a loyal pet.'

Rainbow echoed his thoughts when she said, "Otters and seals do not fly."

Fluttershy replied, "Maybe not, but I've seen this particular seal catch 10 feet of air when he breaches the water."

The seal appeared to be happy in its achievement, and clapped its flippers together repeatedly.

Rainbow, obviously fed-up with the lack of 'awesome' animals, said, "That's it. I'm outta here."

The fox was done with the ear scratches, and climbed up The Forgemaster's arm and onto his head, before curling up and falling asleep there. Evidently, the fox had claimed him.

Fluttershy madly flew after her, singing.

"Wait! There must be a pet here

That will fit the ticket

How 'bout a ladybug, or a cute cricket? "

Rainbow replied, "Bigger, and cooler!" she then kicked away a tortoise that was a bit too close.

"Bigger, cooler. Right." Fluttershy replied, pushing Rainbow back towards the other animals.

"I've got just the thing in that tree, Dash

Meet your new fabulous pet, Squirrely!"

"It's just a squirrel." Rainbow replied.

'I bet it's a flying squirrel.' The Forgemaster thought.

Fluttershy picked up the squirrel, "Not just any squirrel." She flew up into the air and tossed the squirrel up, "A flying squirrel!" The squirrel glided around a few times before landing next to Rainbow silently.

Rainbow walked away, saying, "...Yeah. So, like I was saying..."

"Fluttershy, pal, this won't cut it

I need a pet to keep up with me

Something awesome, something flying

With coolness that defies gravity! "

Rainbow flew into the air, with Fluttershy following her, saying, "I'm sensing you want an animal that can fly."

"Ya think?" Rainbow sarcastically asked.

Fluttershy began to sing again.

"I have plenty of wonderful creatures who soar in the sky

Like a sweet hummingbird or a giant monarch butterfly!"

"Better, but cooler!" Dash emphasized.

The Forgemaster saw the tortoise's head retreat into its shell, and appear moments later with glasses on.

'Perhaps it wants to be Dashie's pet?' he thought.

"I see. How 'bout an owl, or a wasp, or a toucan?

There's so many wonderful creatures the likes of that

There are falcons and eagles

They are both quite regal

Or perhaps what you need is a dark and mysterious bat?"

"Now you're talking!" Rainbow looked around uncertainly, "But instead of just one standout, now that's too many.

"So many choices and such riches aplenty!"

"Not a bad problem to have, if you ask me." Fluttershy said.

'It's a problem when you can only take the one damn thing! Fucking ancients and their devious treasures… If Indiana was there, we probably could've made off with all of the loot, but n~o; I just get some crappy little golden spear.'

"The bat would be awesome, but the wasp I'm digging too

Do you have something in a yellow striped bat?"

"No." Fluttershy answered.

Fluttershy flew down to the ground with Rainbow right behind her.

"I've got a hot pink flamingo, just dying to meet you!"

"What to do, what to do? [gasp]

A prize! That's it! There's really just one way

To find out which animal's best

Hold a contest of speed, agility, and guts

That will put each pet to the test! "

'Oh shit, I sense some hard work for me in the near future. What Is it with these 6 mares and their constant need for various constructs that only I can provide?' The Forgemaster thought, grumbling to himself.

Fluttershy continued the duet.

"Don't forget style; that should be considered!"

"Then we'll know for sure who's best of the litter!"

"The one who is awesome and cool!"

"Just like me

Can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best!"

"So a contest we will see!"

"Who's the number one, greatest, perfectest pet!"

"In the world for me!"

"May the games!"

"Begin!"

"And may the best pet win!" Rainbow finished.

There was silence for a few moments, raising The Forgemaster's hopes that they had stopped singing. His hopes were realized when Rainbow sped off into the distance, yelling his name.

He slowly stood up, moving carefully so as not to disturb his burden. He jumped off the house and landed with a loud 'Thump'. Fluttershy jumped in fright from the noise.

She turned around quickly to look at the source of the noise and visibly relaxed when she saw The Forgemaster, "Oh, you startled me…" she said.

"Hi Fluttershy, I wanted to adopt the little kit on my head, but I have a few questions for him first." He pointed at the small lump of white fur amongst his hair.

Fluttershy rose up into the air with her wings and looked down at the kit with a motherly smile on her face.

"Oh, him?" she asked, "I'm sure you'll be great for him, Forgemaster."

"He got a name?"

"No, he only arrived here a few days ago, I hoped that he would be adopted quickly and they would give him the name. If he had been here any longer I would've named him myself."

"Hmm… he got a story? Where are his parents?" he asked.

"Oh, his parents actually dropped him off here; they said that taking care of an albino baby in the forest would be too rough; he would be easy prey for any predator in the forest. So they decided to come by and gave him to me, they still visit every once in a while, actually, I'm sure they'll be happy knowing that their kit is being taken care of."

"Hmm… thank you, I'll ask him some questions now."

Fluttershy nodded and flew away to care of some of her other animals, before he woke the tiny kit he heard Fluttershy say to somepony, "Oh Ditzy, why are you in my chicken coop?"

The response was, "I'm sorry, but I have mail for you!"

Ignoring the others' conversation, he carefully picked up the kit and placed him on the ground in front of him with him sitting down too.

He gently prodded the fox awake; the sight of the kit awaking with an amusingly adorable yawn brought a tiny smile to his face.

"Greetings young one, I had some questions for you, if you don't mind."

The fox rubbed an eye with his paw, yawning again while nodding.

"I am willing to adopt you as my own, but first you have to meet a few criteria."

The fox barked once, affirming his agreement.

"What is the square root of 64?"

The fox blinked owlishly before barking again.

"A square root of a number is a number multiplied by itself to equal the original number. For instance, the square root of 36 is 6 because 6 times 6 is 36, do you understand?"

The kit nodded.

"Alright then, what is the square root of 81?"

A bark.

"Correct, you learn quickly don't you? Very well, let's try 289."

A moment's hesitation before another bark.

"Correct, but that's easy, how about 6595266.016?"

A second passed, and then another before a bark was heard.

"Hmm… you must truly be a genius, or perhaps a mathematical savant? Either way, that requirement is fulfilled: intelligence. Next question, how do you feel about genetic manipulation on you?"

A questioning bark.

"Well, perhaps give you wings, and maybe breath fire, use magic… there are a lot of things I could do."

A series of barks.

"Yes, but I would compensate for that, it isn't as big a problem as you might guess. I am hardly a foolish graduate student just out of school; I've been at this for many years now, I believe that I could do this with some time."

Another bark.

"Yes, wings, magic, fire-breath, greater regenerations on par with Jesus, perhaps a grater size: it's all possible, it's just a matter of whether or not you want to go through with it… come to think of it, I might as well give you an extended life-span, 10 or so years is hardly sufficient for a being of your intelligence. How old did you say you were? 4 months?"

A series of barks and growls.

"No I wasn't underestimating you because of your age. I must say, barks, growls, and yips are a much more efficient means of communication than speaking as I do." He thought for a moment, "And yes, I understand that you would develop both mentally and physically, at an accelerated rate because of your normal life-span."

The fox appeared to think for a few long moments, before finally giving an affirming nod and a yip.

The Forgemaster smiled, "Great! Well, then all you need is a name! How about Simba?"

A questioning yip.

"It means 'lion'."

A smile and another excited bark, followed by jumping in circles around The Forgemaster.

"I take it you're excited? Well, we better get back to my place, before Rainbow finds me and drags me off to make things for her."

A raised eyebrow was the fox's, Simba's, response.

"Hey, don't give me that look. Women are scary when they're pissed, and if I say no who do you think she is going to be pissed at? Trust me, when you get old enough and you start following your instincts like some sex-obsessed adolescent, you'll understand what I mean when I say that. Never piss of any female, it never ends well. Besides, it wouldn't do for me to have an unsteady hand during your operation now would it?"

Receiving a fearful shake of the head, The Forgemaster continued to walk towards his house.

Suddenly, out of the blue, The Forgemaster heard, "Fooooooooooooooorgey!"

And *Boom* something, probably Rainbow he realized, hit him square in the chest. He took an instant to collect his senses and look around at the suddenly off-kilter world around him. He was knocked flat on his back, Simba was sent flying into a nearby bush, and Rainbow stood on his chest.

"Hey Forgey, I need you to set up an obstacle course for some animals that I want to test to be my pet!"

"Do I have too?" he whined.

She glared down at him, "You know the answer to that. Now hop to it."

"Can it be incredibly dangerous and life-threatening?" he asked, hoping against hope.

"No!" she punctuated this remark with a stout hoof to the chest.

"Damn… Give me an hour or so."

"Fine, thanks Forgey!" she said while flying off into the distance from whence she came.

Simba came walking up to him, a confused expression on his tiny face.

"C'mon Simba, I guess your alterations will have to wait. Gotta go build a random obstacle course for a bunch of birds, I mean c'mon: they're birds! They can just fly around all this stuff. She's lucky I'm one of the richest men in Equestria, buying all this crap won't be cheap."

He spent the next hour buying and building an obstacle course for birds, of all things.

When Rainbow finally arrived with all of her prospective pets and the other 5 mares, the obstacle course was done and Simba was sleeping again.

The 'test' was announced thusly, "Agility!"

He watched as Rainbow flew alongside the pets and 'rate' their performance.

The monarch buttersly was given, "Sorta agile...

To the flamingo Rainbow said, "Not agile..."

A toucan was given, "Pretty agile..."

A bat, of all things, was given a rating of, "Could be more agile..."

He watched her fly down to the tortoise that was apparently competing; she said to the tortoise, "Wanna know the opposite of agility? That."

A hummingbird quickly zipped through the entire obstacle course, leaving The Forgemaster mumbling about the lack of deadly obstacles, all 5 of the observers cheering, and Rainbow to proclaim, "Yeah baby, now that's what I call agility!" Rainbow held out a hoof, "Don't leave me hangin'!"

When the hummingbird gave Rainbow a high… 1, er, wing, and fell to the ground, Rainbow said, "I'm gonna have to shave a point off your score for that."

He followed silently after the others when they followed Rainbow to the next challenge, he held baby Simba in his palm while walking.

Apparently, the next challenge or test or whatever you want to call it was of guts.

Rainbow set Opal's cage down and set a small mouse toy in front of it before opening the cage.

"Okay! Which of you has the guts to try and get Opal's favorite toy away from her?" Rainbow asked.

All of the animals were afraid, except for the monarch butterfly. Said butterfly just flew up, dazzled Opal with its wings, picked up the toy, and retreated back to Rainbow.

Rainbow proclaimed, "Now that takes guts!" when the toy was safely deposited in front of her.

The Forgemaster watched the tortoise sneak up behind the cage and try to push Opal's cage over her, it fail, and was immediately attacked by Opal.

The next challenge was style. Rainbow had a series of photo shoots with the various animals. He wasn't too sure which animal had won, but was sure it wasn't the tortoise.

When Rainbow was moving to the next area, The Forgemaster walked up and said, "Hey Rainbow, I noticed how you looked good in every outfit you tried on." Rainbow put her hear in the air and puffed her chest out proudly and was about to respond before The Forgemaster continued, "I especially liked how you looked in the vest with the owl and the slicked hair… you sure you're not an 'egghead'?"

Rainbow scared him away from the next few competitions, though he was happy to say that he had a hand, or rather, the only hand, in constructing the tortoise's extreme obstacle course.

A net, a guillotine, a flaming circle, a loop, a pool of sharks, and one bouncy platform and it was done. Not one of his more inspiring works, but certainly deadly; and that was all that mattered to The Forgemaster at the moment. It's been too long since he saw someone willingly dismember themselves, well… one that he also had a hand in.

After that, Rainbow had some words with the tortoise and announced that the next challenge would be a race through Ghastly Gorge against herself.

The entire group quickly mobilized and made it to the start of the gorge in seemingly record time.

While Rainbow was at the bottom of the gorge giving a pre-race pep talk to the animals, The Forgemaster thought it would be a grand idea to ask Pinkie for a few instruments and play Beethoven's 'Flight of the Valkyries'. He certainly appreciated the atmosphere the piece created during the race, but by the looks the others were giving him… it wasn't exactly shared by the others. He thought it was creeping them out, or at least unnerving them, therefore, bring the gentleman that he is, he continued playing.

Eventually, Rainbow started the race. With a flick of his fingers, The Forgemaster, Simba, and the rest of the gang and their pets were teleported to the end of the race, with him still playing.

Many, many minutes later, The Forgemaster suddenly narrowed his eyes and teleported away. The others were startled by his disappearance, but The Forgemaster could take care of himself.

Half-way through the gorge, The Forgemaster suddenly appeared in the midst of the aftermath of the landslide.

"Dashie, what happened!" he yelled out.

"Easy there, big guy, I'll be fine." Rainbow assured him from behind him.

He turned around to see Rainbow and the tortoise sitting next to a large boulder.

He noticed Rainbow's limp wing and asked again, "What happened."

She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, "Yeah, that's my bad. I may have caused a rockslide and my wings may have gotten trapped underneath a boulder, I think it's broken. The other animals flew off to finish the race, but then this little guy here came along and helped me out." She indicated the tortoise.

"Why didn't you use the 'help me' button on my necklace faster?" he asked.

Rainbow rubbed the necklace around her neck subconsciously, "Well, it fell off during the rock slide and it landed too far away for me to touch it! I called you as soon as I could."

The Forgemaster sighed, "Fine, let me bandage you up."

And he did so, expertly pinning the wing in place to prevent further damage.

"You know I could just heal you with magic, but then you wouldn't learn anything." He said as he wrapped her wing one more time with the roll of bandages.

She smiled at him, "I know. But I've got a race to finish!"

She tried to jog down the path towards the finish line but gasped and grimaced in pain before she made 3 steps.

"Oh, yeah, that's not gonna work." She said to herself.

The tortoise slowly walked up to Rainbow and gently lifted her onto his back and started to walk again, slowly however.

The Forgemaster watched them walk away slowly and called out, "I'll see you at the finish line Dashie! Maybe losing this race and not being able to fly for a little while will teach you to watch where you fly!"

He laughed as Rainbow told him to 'Buck off!'

He teleported himself back to the finish line where it appeared as though the falcon had just crossed the finish line.

The 5 mares currently watching were slowly becoming concerned at the absence of their friend.

Twilight summed it up best when she said, "Hmm, something's not right here.

She then magicked up some binoculars and looked through them.

Fluttershy butt in saying, "Where's Rainbow Dash?"

Then Applejack did the same saying, "Great galloping galoshes! There's been an avalanche in there!"

Spike cried out, "Rainbow!"

The others started chattering amongst themselves, clearly concerned for their friend.

Pinkie jumped to the front of the group and shouted, "Wait! Look!"

"It's the turtle!" Fluttershy said.

She was quickly corrected by the other saying, "Tortoise!"

Fluttershy then mumbled, "Whatever…"

Twilight then took the binoculars saying, "And he's carrying something on his back..."

Pinkie then gasped and began jumping and shouting, "Ahh! It's Rainbow Dash! It's her! It's Rainbow!"

The others cheered, which slowly slowed to a crawl… they seemed to be doing that a lot today…

Anyways, Fluttershy, noticing the speed or lack thereof, suggested to Twilight, "Maybe we'd better go meet him half way."

And then they do so with Twilight magically picking up the finish line and placing it directly in front of the tortoise and his burden.

The others quickly surrounded Rainbow and began cheering for her.

Spike ran up to the tortoise and said, "Huh. Way to go, little guy!"

Twilight, clearly not seeing Rainbow's bandages, said, "Oh, thank goodness you're not hurt, Rainbow!"

Rainbow replied, "Just my pride."

The Forgemaster snorted and said, "And a fracture to her carpus and metacarpus in her right wing, along with a split fracture to her alula, the digits themselves were shattered on impact, as they took the brunt of the boulder. Couple that with various bruises, lacerations, and a possible concussion from the whiplash of landing on the ground that hard… I'd say that Rainbow is not uninjured."

Twilight and Rainbow had the decency to look sheepish as Rarity said, "I certainly hope all of this dreadful dust was worth it!" Rarity then sneezed.

Rainbow cleaning herself of some of the dust had evidently caused the sensitive unicorn's allergies to act up.

"It sure was," Applejack said while rubbing Winona's head, "If'n it means Rainbow gets to have her own little critter just like the rest of us from now on."

Rainbow whispered something to the tortoise, evidently thanking it for services rendered.

Fluttershy spoke from the falcon's side, "Rainbow! Your new pet is over here waiting for you!"

Said pet took off from his position and flew over the group before landing on Rainbow's back.

While the others admired the falcon's aerial skills, Rainbow Dash sullenly said, "Oh... right... yeah. That."

Spike addressed the uncharacteristic tone, "What's the matter?"

"You got your perfect pet, right?" Pinkie interjected.

"The best of the best like you wanted, remember? It can fly and it's not a squirrel!" Fluttershy announced before thinking for a moment, "Should we sing about it again?"

"A falcon sure looks good on ya, Rainbow." Applejack noted.

Rarity set up a camera and took a picture of the new owner and pet combination, inadvertently startling the tortoise enough to send it into his shell.

Rainbow put a hoof to the shell and said, "Easy, fella. Nothing to be afraid of."

She then looked up at the falcon and said, "The falcon sure does looks cool... he's absolutely everything I wanted in a pet." She then sighed.

Fluttershy, confused about her friends actions said, "Yay?"

Rainbow suddenly brightened and said, "But I said whoever crosses the finish line with me gets to be my pet."

Pinkie enthusiastically jumped forward and said, "You did! You did say that! She did say that, that was the rule!"

"And the only racer who crossed the finish line with me, was the one who stopped to save me when I needed help. The tortoise!"

Rainbow then bumped noses with the tortoise, a significant pony sign of affection, while the falcon gave off a cry of sadness.

"But what about the-"Twilight started before noticing the falcon and the tortoise shaking convenient appendages.

The tortoise looked up at Rainbow after the flacon sadly walked away and slowly grew a grin, Applejack noticed this and said, "Wouldja look at that? He even smiles slow."

All of the ponies laughed at that, while The Forgemaster was getting rather impatient, as was Simba. The sooner the little guy becomes a flying, magical, fire-breathing fox, the better.

Rainbow then turned to Spike, "Spike, take a letter."

Spike obediently took out a scroll and a quill and began writing as Rainbow spoke.

"Dear Princess Celestia, I used to think that the most important traits to look for in a pet, or any best friend, were all physical competitive abilities. But now I can see how short-sighted and shallow that was."

The Forgemaster watched as the tortoise tricked Opalescence and stole the mouse toy.

"Today I learned what the most important quality really is. A certain kind of spirit. A stick-to-it-ive-ness. A never give up, can-do attitude that's the mark of a real winner. And this tortoise has it."

"Tenacity." Twilight supplied.

"Gesundheit." Rainbow excused her, "You just can't stop that little guy. He's like a... like a... Tank!"

The Forgemaster spoke, "What kind of tank?"

Tanks were a subject well covered in their late night discussions with Twilight, mainly because Rainbow thought it was 'awesome' but also because it was a fairly interesting piece of human history.

Rainbow put a hoof to her chin in thought, "Hmm… I think that he's a Tiger II! Slow, indomitable, and almost impossible to harm!" she said with a brilliant smile.

'Hmm… Panzerkampfwagen Tiger Ausf. B… ignoring the whole 'completely unreliable' bit, it's accurate. Though I know for a fact that Rainbow detests, and that this tortoise isn't, an unreliable individual.' He thought.

"But Rainbow!" Fluttershy said, whispered, same thing, "You didn't want a pet that couldn't fly because it would keep you grounded and hold you back, remember?"

Rainbow put a hoof to her chin in thought once more, "Hmm…"

The Forgemaster broke her train of thought, "Alright, fine I'll do it." He bent over and picked up the tortoise, now dubbed 'Tank', and started to quickly walk away from the group, "We'll need to make you fly… shell too heavy for genetically introduced wings… perhaps a helicopter-type platform? Yes, yes, battery run… no, too bulky, wouldn't fly… so then… wired directly into his nervous system, controlled by thought and powered by food consumption? Yes, that would work; we would need an efficient catalyst though… Simba! Fetch some blank blue-print paper; we're going to have to plan this one out!"

The others stared after him and his ramblings, all of them with the same expression of 'what just happened' on their face.

1 week later, Pony Pet Play date

The other mares and their pets crested the hill and into the small field that was previously used for naps, but is now used for the weekly 'Pony Pet Play Date'. Though The Forgemaster complained about the name, saying that is was racist against humans, the others elected to ignore him and keep the name.

Rainbow went over the hill next with her week old pet 'Tank' right behind her, "Heh. C'mon, Tank! We're gonna be late for our very first Pony Pet Play date! You too Forgey! Simba!"

Immediately beside her, flying just as the other 2 were, was The Forgemaster and his genius, albino, flying, fire-breathing, magical kit Simba, the pride and joy of The Forgemaster.

Chapter 68

1,346,720 bits.

That is the total sum of bits that rebuilding and repairing most of Ponyville had cost the town.

3 weeks, 1,346,720 bits, and a whole lot of busy work for The Forgemaster.

He wrote a letter to Celestia, requesting financial assistance. That had been granted. He then used 45% of his own monetary resources, a huge sum it was, to additionally assist the town in matters unrelated to non-house-having. Much of Ponyville was destroyed. In addition to the buildings destroyed, some buildings were damaged, and others were completely devoured to the last nail. On top of that, crops and gardens were eaten almost immediately after the swarm hit, they were completely gone. Many of the market vendors had also had their stocks devoured as well. To stave off a famine, short term though it would likely have been, The Forgemaster rushed in supplies from a newly founded apple-producing town in the Mild West; Appaloosa. This would have cost the villagers a pretty penny but The Forgemaster paid for this out of his own pocket. He rarely used the bits anyway; he already received a large pay check each year from Celestia in addition to having a few patents on several technological advances that the entirety of Equestria and some parts of Zebrica enjoyed.

The cost would have been far greater had The Forgemaster not stumbled across a last-second plan. He bought raw supplies, that's it, no ponies to work it just the supplies. A large pile of wood, nails, and glass, amongst others things, had dominated the central square of Ponyville for a solid hour as every unicorn in town was gathered, a good 127 unicorns, it would have been more in any other town of similar size but Ponyville was originally and still primarily is an Earth pony colony.

While being unable to be affected by the unicorns' magic himself, The Forgemaster could manipulate it to a degree.

He asked that all of the unicorns focus their magic around him, not at him as that would be useless. The unicorns did as they were asked, and soon a large gestalt had settled around The Forgemaster as he closed his eyes in concentration. Each and every color was represented in the swirling mass of pure magical energy; the colors matched a pony in the surrounding if one looked closely enough.

For his part, The Forgemaster stood at the center of the deluge, acting the part of an eye of a hurricane. He focused his own will upon the magic around him and thrust his magic into the maelstrom. Though the 2 magics repelled each other as magnets of the same pole would, The Forgemaster forced them together and made them blend. Slowly at first, but the process gained speed as it went, the magic began blending colors. At the start, each color could have been picked out if one looked closely, but as The Forgemaster worked the magical tempest changed color into a vibrant gold.

It was an old trick, magicians of old would focus their will and power on another and through them the other gained their power. It was far easier to get an army of magi to focus their power into one and have him do the work then having them all work in concert with each other.

With the amount of magic present, one could have raised the sun twice over if one wanted too. It was merely a problem of power and intent to do something so drastic, the power was there but the intent was not.

The Forgemaster had a much different task in mind for this magic.

Most anything could have been done here, a new moon could have been made, a mountain raised from the bowels of the planet, or a portal warp them all to a higher state of consciousness.

But, The Forgemaster settled for a much more mundane goal for this magic.

He set it to rebuild the town.

And so it did…

In seconds.

The wood flew from the neatly arranged piles and formed the rough outlines of structures. The nails followed soon after with the speed of bullets, the nails rammed into the boards and held them in place. More wood came, and then more nails, then glass for windows, metal for signs, paint flew from their cans to splash evenly against the newly crafted walls, roofs were tiled and flower boxes remade in an instant.

What The Forgemaster saw in his mind's eye became reality. What he saw, he made. For a few moments, he was a god. And it was rapture.

The more magic he used, the brighter the magic was and the higher off of the ground he floated. In the center of a crowd of unicorns with their eyes closed in concentration, The Forgemaster floated off of the ground with his arms outstretched and his brows furrowed in intense concentration, a golden nimbus of bright magical light surrounding him.

And then it was over.

By some unseen mental command, The Forgemaster told those unicorns connected to the spell to release and they followed his command.

While the unicorns opened their eyes and gazed in wonder upon the result of their collective work, The Forgemaster slumped from his position in the sky and fell to the ground, landing on shaking legs. He stood ramrod straight for an instant and then fell to his knees and then onto his right side. Blood trailed down in small rivulets from his eyes, ears, nose and mouth, his eyes were wide and unseeing, and his body was silently shivering.

But no one was there to see: the unicorns were gazing n wonder about them, the Earth ponies were off remaking their orchards and fields, and the pegasi were flying off to gather new clouds from Cloudsdale for the new crops coming in.

It took a few minutes, but The Forgemaster's convulsing eventually ceased. He laid down stock still as he regained his bearings. He blinked until he could see and then looked around him. He saw the surrounding unicorns' backsides, all of them. The Forgemaster silently thanked whichever god that had been looking out for him at that instant. He did not want to look weak at any moment, not in his private life, and certainly not in his public life.

He got off of the ground and stood to his feet, all the while contemplating his reaction.

The amount of power that was present could have done it; it was beyond his own power after all. There is a limit to how much power one could channel at any given moment, one could increase this with training but The Forgemaster had enough magic flowing through his veins at all times that he had figured it to be useless to train himself in that art. The odds of him ever having to channel that much power were astronomical at best, and those odds only got worse as time went on and magic slowly died out. Then again, magically teleporting to a magical land of talking ponies had similarly astronomical odds. Fair is fair, after all.

It must have been a combination of the amount of power and the fact that much of it seemed to be the antithesis of what his magic was. Drawing the opposite of one of your body's functions into yourself wouldn't be a very good thing to do, of course. It would be like a person purposely absorbing a large amount of arsenic into their body through their pores.

Then again, it had felt amazing. So it was probably more akin to heroin. Not good for the body by any stretch of the imagination, but damn it felt good.

He dusted himself off of both dust and blood. Nothing that made you bleed from your orifices could be a good thing, and he hadn't even checked his other 2 holes yet!

He concluded several things from the amount of information at his disposal. #1: it had worked. #2: he shouldn't use magic in the near future, similar to having oversensitive private bits after mind-shattering sex. #3: he is going to have to go home and take a shower, then preferably eat something and fall asleep. Rebuilding a town in moments really takes it out of you.

And it was only 3 in the afternoon too…

wWwWwWw

For the rest of that day, The Forgemaster did as he thought he should; he sat around, ate, and slept. Trouble started the day after when he tried to leave his house. Apparently, someone had seen his episode after the magical orgy and thought it wise to tell those who care about him what happened.

Here's what happened:

Door opened.

6 Elements of Harmony appeared full of self-righteousness.

The door closed.

And that's how The Forgemaster stayed indoors for 3 days while the 6 angry mares tried to get into his home. They probably wanted to take him to the hospital, or at least take care of him themselves. The Forgemaster wasn't a babe to be coddled, but he wasn't a fool either. Compromising between his pride and his intelligence, he remained in self-imposed exile while his body recovered from the ordeal while simultaneously avoiding the 6 that would lecture and annoy him until he did the same thing he was doing at home only at the hospital.

While basking in the joy that was being in your own home for a few days, The Forgemaster needed things to do. Unfortunately, the backyard did not have a roof on it so he couldn't go and forge while there were flying ponies around… also, he used magic quite a bit when he forged and he didn't want to make anything worse by over-exerting an already physically exhausted frame.

The more quality swords usually take months to make, but The Forgemaster can make similar blades in hours. This is due to a process he calls molecular-magic, where he takes molecules and moves them about with magic. Doing so, he can do what most blacksmiths do over periods of days in hours. See, to make a quality blade; the metal needs to be perfect, most do the perfecting process by slamming the blade with hammer and tongs until it is righted, but The Forgemaster just goes down to the molecular level and moves them that way, instead of using a hammer to do the same. That was actually how he earned the title.

A challenge: make the best sword you can, whoever wins will forever be called The Forgemaster.

12 hours later, The Forgemaster walked in with a blade, presented it to the judges, and won. The others had barely even started.

That being said, enhancing any blade with a rune or two could make an excellent blade easily, combining the two sciences made truly devastating weapons of war.

Then, adding onto that process his signature method of calling friendly spirits to inhabit the blades and assist the wielder makes devastating weapons of war into extraordinarily devastating weapons of ass kicking destructiveness.

Good times…

So forging was out, doing anything that required magic was out, going outside was out, getting laid was probably out… maybe.

So he sat around, drank, ate, and slept, occasionally he read but more often he maintained his home.

By the end of the second day, it was official: he had entered Boredom Mode.

Boredom Mode: a mental state in which the person has been bored out of his mind for at least an hour and has resorted to doing the most random of things in order to become un-bored, which is normally met with negative results.

Well… to be perfectly honest, this is home The Forgemaster used to spend most of his days. You live long enough and eventually everything becomes boring. Since he entered Equestria, everything had been new to him; as such Boredom Mode had yet to afflict him.

Unfortunately, nothing in his home would satisfy him.

So, the day after, on the third day, he went outside to meet his fate.

The reaction he received was both anticipated and unexpected.

At a speed most jets would be hard-pressed to match, a certain rainbow hued blur shot out of the clouds above him and flew directly at him.

Rainbow Dash slammed into him, not even bothering to slow down slightly. He was forced back into his home by the sheer force that accompanied her. He fell onto his back, with Rainbow on top of him.

She frantically looked him up and down, searching for any sign that he was injured, all the while saying, "You dumb bucker, why didn't you go to the hospital. If there is one mark on you then I'll send you to the hospital on a stretcher."

He sat there, not resisting in the slightest, as Rainbow basically crawled all over him.

Rainbow was eventually satisfied with his non-injured-ness, but decided that being uninjured was too good for him.

So when she walked off of him, she kicked him in the ribs hard enough to leave a bruise, muttering, "This is what you get for being an idiot!"

Thankfully, the other 5 mares showed up in time to prevent an extremely irate Rainbow from beating the sin out of him, and that would take a really, really long time. They literally had to drag her off of him with a combination of magic and Applejack's lasso.

It's a times like this that The Forgemaster remembers what a close friend of his said about angry women, "Women can go psycho kung fu whoop ass on you and anyone else when angry. If they are angry, do not look them in the eyes, do not make a sound, and stay in another country for the next couple of decades until they calm down. Otherwise...you're fucking dead!"

Ah… while a slight exaggeration, the message of it was completely true.

Coming out of the ordeal relatively unscathed, The Forgemaster proceeded to flee for his life. Unfortunately, the only thing faster than Rainbow when pissed is teleportation and he wasn't 100% sure that he was fully recovered.

Then Twilight caught him in a levitation spell…

Well, not so much as caught him in a levitation spell, merely levitated things around him in a threatening manner.

She hung Rainbow in mid-air next to him, both with their convenient frontal appendages crossed over their chests, both of them with similar frowns on their face, though The Forgemaster's was closer to a pout.

Twilight affixed them with her baleful eye, which was actually kind of hilarious, and said, "Forgemaster explain, now."

The Forgemaster grumbled and then said, as though he were revealing some great secret, "I wanted to run for my life because Dashie was angry."

While Rainbow smiled smugly, Twilight said, "That's not what I meant, you know what I meant! Why am I even explaining this to you?" she shook her head.

"Because you know that I won't answer your question unless you are so specific that I can't twist your words in some way…" The Forgemaster supplied.

Twilight brightened, "Oh yeah, then tell us what happened yesterday after your spell."

He sighed, "I had a bad reaction to your backwards, evil, magic."

"While I point out that unicorn magic is neither evil nor backwards, I have to ask what exactly happened."

"I do kind of worship the gods of 'It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit.' So, yeah… I don't know."

"You don't know?" Twilight asked, with her mouth hanging open, her tone belying her incredulity.

He shrugged, "I'm all-powerful not omnipotent."

Twilight groaned.

Applejack came to his rescue, "Hey Twilight, shouldn't you let 'er down now?"

Sheepishly, she replied, "I suppose so."

An unimpressed Forgemaster watched while Rainbow elected to remain hovering with her wings.

An awkward silence filled the air…

"So Forgey! What are you gonna be for Nightmare Night!" Pinkie asked, enthusiastically.

The Forgemaster thought for a moment, going through his collective memories to find out what exactly she was speaking of, and then asked, "Isn't that in like 3 weeks?

Pinkie replied, "Yeah!"

…

…

…

"I'll burn that bridge when I get to it."

wWwWwWw

Exactly 20 days later.

The Forgemaster was in his office in Canterlot, and he was incredibly furious.

Apparently, Celestia made a new rule that he couldn't burn the paperwork that was taken to him!

After that rule was summarily ignored for a solid 2 weeks, she stationed guards – his guards! – inside his office to prevent him from burning the damnable paperwork.

This was the first day that the new policy was implemented, and this one day would solidify 'Forgemaster Paperwork Guard Duty' as either the worst or the best detail a guard could have, all depending upon the guards chosen.

There were 4 guards in his office, and each of them, despite their training, were amazed at what The Forgemaster was doing.

They had never seen someone, anyone, do paperwork so… wrathfully.

It was like every single time he set open to paper, he was wishing for both to spontaneously combust. There was a furious expression on his face, and one could literally feel the malice in the air.

The entire time, The Forgemaster was mumbling things under his breath in an incredibly pissed tone, the only thing any of the guards could make out clearly was when he suddenly stood from his desk, looked them each in the eye and proclaim, "The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency."

He then sat back down at his desk and resumed his work, leaving each and every guard in the room dumbfounded.

The guards couldn't help but make comparisons between The Forgemaster and their Lord-general Crimson Hammer. (A/N – remember, they don't know that they are one and the same.)

While The Forgemaster seemed to be stoic and enigmatic, Crimson Hammer seemed to be the sort of commander to get to know each and every soldier under his command, crack jokes, and be reasonably informal with them. They appeared to be polar opposites, but they were apparently best friends. Even if you asked the two of them, they would reply that they had no idea how they had ended up friends.

Hell, they even shared the same office together! Though their desks were on different sides of the room and they never seemed to be in the same room at the same time…

The guards were getting slightly frightened. They knew that The Forgemaster was their second in command, but he sometimes scared the crap out of them. Granted, so did Crimson Hammer, but The Forgemaster took it to a whole other level.

Right before these 4 poor, nameless guards their commanding officer seemed to get angrier and angrier, his pen strokes more chopped and rushed, and his brow more and more furrowed.

It all came to a head when The Forgemaster yelled in fury, picked up one of the stamps on his desk – ironically the one marked 'denied' – and threw it at the window.

At the same time, some unfortunate pony was opening the window that The Forgemaster threw the stamp at. The exact moment the window was opened was the exact instant the stamp left The Forgemaster's hand. The stamp hit the unknown pegasus pony straight in the face and sent him plummeting 3 stories with a cry of pain.

The guards looked on in amazement as The Forgemaster went back to his paperwork as though he hadn't probably just killed somepony.

Suddenly, from out the window, they heard, "By Celestia's sweet sugar-coated flank that hurt!" an unorthodox yet appropriate curse given the situation.

A few moments later the same pegasus that was seen being ejected from the window reappeared at the same window, carrying a rather large bag with him, he also seemed to have a bright red 'denied' over his right eyebrow.

Said pegasus pointed a hoof at The Forgemaster, who was busy looking at his paperwork, "You crazy old bastard! You just about killed me!" this impressive show of cursing, given ponykind's disposition to avoid cursing, was a surprise to the guards in the room.

The Forgemaster looked up from his work, "Hmm…? Oh, Bright Star, how was your mission… what happened to your face?"

"You're what happened!" the newly named Bright Star proclaimed, "You threw something at me and nailed me in the head!"

The Forgemaster furrowed his brow, confused, he asked, "I did?"

Bright Star said exasperated, "Yes."

"Oh… well how was your mission?" he asked.

Bright Star suddenly… brightened, "It went great! I did it this time! I definitely assassinated the right guy! I went to the village you told me about and killed every single living thing there!"

While the guards, despite their training, recoiled in shock from this chipper pegasus and his flippant attitude, The Forgemaster nodded, his jimmies completely unrustled.

"Well, that's one way of doing it." He said.

Bright Star replied, "I like the fun way, that's why it's called the fun way."

Bright Star then tossed the bag to The Forgemaster and he opened it and reached in. He withdrew the bloody head of a terrified griffon, the fear still evident on his dead features.

The Forgemaster frowned and tossed the head over his shoulder, he then reached into the bag and withdrew another. This repeated with about 13 heads of griffons before he finally stopped at one particular head and closely studied it.

He set the thing down on his desk and reached into his desk. He withdrew a book and flipped through it, occasionally glancing from the griffon head to the book. Eventually, he stopped on a page and looked back and forth repeatedly before nodding, satisfied.

"Good job, you got him. Much better than the last time when you killed everyone in the village except the guy you were supposed to kill."

While the guards in the room were completely freaked out, Bright Star shook his head and said, "How was I supposed to know that there was a fork in the road!? You're just lucky that I managed to find the village at all."

"It's fine. You got one of the griffon's top black ops commanders. That's a good work for any pony. Head on down to the interrogation department, I heard they were having some trouble. You remember the 3 rules?"

Bright Star nodded enthusiastically before his entire being shifted, eyes became dull, his posture straightened, and his voice became monotone as he replied as though he were answering a textbook question, "The three lessons of the fine art of torture. The First Lesson: Control the environment. Every aspect of your subject's existence that you control is a step closer to the information that you need. The Second Lesson: Follow the directives of your superiors and never allow the subject to expire unless ordered. The subject can only endure so much at one time, and to go beyond is to render them mentally destroyed and useless. Get the information within as timely a manner as possible, and dispose of the subject in the manner specified by your superiors whether it be execution, or held for ransom until their nation decides to pay for their return. The Third Lesson: Be the master of your emotions. Showing the slightest hint of emotion to the subject shows a flaw in your control. If they can get you to show emotion, then they have gained control over an aspect of their environment—their existence. That deviates from The First Lesson. To show emotion is to show weakness, and to show weakness is to lose the information, to lose the information is to deviate from the directives of your superiors, to deviate from the directives of your superiors is treason. To go against The Third Lesson is to commit treason. Treason earns you death."

"Good job, Bright Star. Now go and make sure that every person in that damnable department knows it!"

Bright Star shifted back to happy, bubbly, and homicidally insane Bright Star and walked, or more like skipped, out of the room and into the hall.

Thus began the legend of 'Forgemaster Paperwork Guard Duty' amongst the guards.

As Bright Star opened the door, there was a unicorn on the other side. A certain Shining Armor. The captain walked in, staring confused after the leaving pegasus, he then raised a questioning eyebrow at The Forgemaster.

"You have to respect people and places that wear their crazy on their sleeves where everyone can see." The Forgemaster declared in an apparent non sequitur.

Shining Armor did not question his leader, but instead looked around at the guards in his office. They were all white as a ghost, which was a shade lighter than normal, and they were all staring after the pegasus that had left. Captain Shining Armor then looked at The Forgemaster's desk and the corner with a pile of mutilated heads and put 2 and 2 together.

Decapitated heads plus Forgemaster's non sequitur plus scared guards equals insane pegasus.

It was obvious, really.

"Who was that, sir?" the Captain asked.

"Oh, a criminally insane pegasus I found wandering around. Gave him a job and now he's Equestria's third best assassin and most insane, surprising given their career choice compared to normal pony docility."

Suspicions: confirmed.

"Why did you let a random criminally insane pegasus become a Celestia-sanctioned assassin?"

"Whoever said that he was Celestia-sanctioned?" The Forgemaster asked, with a frown.

Shining Armor sighed, he did not need this headache, not now, he had just gotten back from a weekend with Cadance, he'd tell Princess Celestia later and have her deal with it.

On to more social issues and hopefully distract himself with more conversation, "So Forgemaster, what are you doing for Nightmare Night?"

"It's some festival in Ponyville. I'll probably just go there and participate in some small fashion."

The guard Captain grew a sly grin, "You know you have to dress up right?"

The Forgemaster frowned, "Yes, but I assure you that I won't have to dress up at all. It's all part of the plan…"

Followed by devious chuckles, and rubbing his hands together.

Chapter 69

(A/N – I've gotten some concerns that The Forgemaster is a 'Gary Sue', and I both agree and disagree. First off, yes, The Forgemaster is amazing at most things he does, but then again, if you had centuries to live and do literally everything, you would also have substantial practice at everything. Secondly, a Mary or Gary Sue is an individual that excels at everything and has no flaws, but The Forgemaster has glaring relationship, emotional, and psychological problems, in addition to having a slight, though ineffectual, alcohol problem. And then there's the whole 'submissive to Rainbow's wishes' relationship he has with her, Sue's would do everything and their partner would immediately agree. Please note that I write this after I have written this chapter, I did not alter the events in this chapter to go against Sue-hood. Thanks, and have a nice read after a month.)

It was a normal day in Canterlot, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and-

"SHINING ARMOR, YOU PREVIOUSLY PURPLE BASTARD, GET IN MY OFFICE, NOW!"

-The Forgemaster was yelling loudly across the city, waking the sleeping and scaring the awake. Yes, it was a completely normal day, with absolutely nothing out of the ordinary in any way, form, or fashion.

The Forgemaster was upset. For two reasons, firstly because he had to stay in Canterlot that night because of some work he needed to get caught up on, and secondly; he had just recently found out that his captain, the stallion that is basically his friend slash underling slash maid, had a sister.

Now, that might not be much of a big deal if it were anypony else, but the stallion's sister also just so happened to be Twilight Sparkle.

He had found that out while meditating on some of Celestia's memories. An ancient mind like that isn't going to be picked clean in a few hours, let alone weeks or even months. He could probably go through the entirety of her mind with a fine comb and still end up missing some vastly important detail that just barely skimmed through his screen. It's not like she has a large section labeled, 'Important memories here', that would be silly.

Anyways, he found a small memory of Celestia going through some files of the newly promoted lieutenants, and what do you know but one of them is Shining Armor. Except it doesn't say Shining Armor on the file, it says, 'Lt. Shining 'Armor' Midnight' to 'Captain Shining 'Armor' Midnight'.

Pones and their strange naming systems…

Another fairly important detail was the fact that the file had 2 pictures: one of when he graduated the Royal Academy and a more recent picture of him during his promotion ceremony. That may not have been such a big deal were it not for the fact that in the first, his coat was a strikingly familiar purple, and in the latter, his coat was pure white.

The good Captain had dyed his coat and changed his name when he had entered the guard.

Of course, immediately after his discovery The Forgemaster did some mental comparisons and found that, if Shining Armor's coat was purple, then yes there was a family resemblance between the Captain and a certain annoying though tolerable, sometimes, mare.

Thus the yelling, the screaming, and the very possible ass kicking.

Now, those reading this may not have a full appreciation of just how scary The Forgemaster could be when he wanted to be, but the majority of all non-idiots in Canterlot did. If one could yell at you from across a city, one was scary. If one could yell at you without raising his voice, one was scary. When one could yell at you from across the city without raising his voice, one was terrifying. It freaked out most ponies when they first hear it, but the denizens of Canterlot have gotten used to it over the weeks, though it was still strange.

He was like a giant city-wide PA system, everyone could hear it, but no one wanted to.

Of course, if he was actually yelling at you, you pulled out all of the stops and raced to his office.

Shining Armor had run to The Forgemaster's office as quickly as he could whilst remaining dignified. Therefore, he walked briskly when in sight of the civilians, and full-out ran when not. One must keep up appearances after all.

Shining Armor entered his office with obvious trepidation; the aura of malice The Forgemaster was giving off behind his desk was almost palpable. The guards stationed within were doing their best to keep their cool, while also silently praying to Celestia to come and save their beloved Captain from their slightly-less-beloved second-in-command.

With no small amount of fear, Shining Armor began, "Yes, sir-"

The Forgemaster interrupted, "Shining Armor, why didn't you tell me that you were the sparkly git's brother."

"Sparkly git…?" he repeated slowly, before having a flash of realization, "You mean Twilee?"

"Yeah." He confirmed, "Why didn't you tell me this important fact! Withholding information can be considered treason, Captain."

"Sir, I don't see how this is important-"

"Ugh, it's my job! It's frankly, literally in my job description, and I quote, 'The Forgemaster is to provide the safety for the bearers of the Elements of Harmony in all things, large and small, and to extend this protection to those that the bearers wish.' Namely; you, Captain." He paused, looking Shining Armor in the eye, "And while she hasn't outright said… well… anything about you, I'm sure that she would be upset if her brother died. Grief makes folks do stupid things; stupid things are a large cause of injury. Injury is the exact opposite of safety."

Shining Armor looked stricken, "I-I'm sorry sir, it really didn't come to mind."

"It's fine, "He replied, "But even the small things are important, no matter how tiny their significance may be to you. You can go; I just wanted to get one last lecture in before I make my way to Ponyville. I find yelling at individuals every once in a while is good for the heart."

Shining Armor chuckled as he walked away, "Alright sir, but I believe that Princess Celestia was looking for you, something about unsanctioned assassins…"

"You tattle tailing bastard!" The Forgemaster yelled.

Shining Armor had to duck a coffee mug that was thrown at him as he left through the doors.

The Forgemaster grumbled as he threw the paperwork into the 'done' bin, it may or may not have actually been done but at least it wasn't burnt to charcoal, so it was an improvement. And now he had to go visit Celly? Argh, she'll probably yell at him to, further delaying his time to go back to Ponyville and laze around for a couple hours.

So he warped himself to the throne room, arms crossed over his chest and already frowning. He appeared out of thin air at the base of Celly's raised platform throne island thing.

He apparently interrupted a meeting, judging by the frightened gasp from someone behind him.

Whoever it was must have been a foolish, introverted noble, judging by how 'offended' the pony sounded: most have become accustomed to his comings and goings and paid them little heed. However, Celestia wasn't frightened, startled, or surprised in the slightest, judging by the way she didn't bat an eyelash. Celestia was like that, always calm and unruffled. It made the moments when you could catch her off guard all the more sweet.

"You called for me princess?" he asked, as amicable as he felt like being at that instant.

As Celestia opened her mouth to respond, some annoying drabble came out of the mouth of the pony behind him, in an equally annoying Canterlot accent, "How dare you interrupt my meeting with the princess!"

Oh… Blueblood.

That required a special response.

Without bothering to turn around, he said in a cold voice, "Blueblood, were you born a fat idiotic piece of slime, or did you have to work on it? And there are 2 princesses, not one, so Celestia is 'a' princess, not 'the' princess."

The ever annoying response came, "Why I never-"

"Blueblood, you are dismissed." Celestia's ever calm voice echoed through the mostly empty throne room.

Blueblood, despite being a pretentious ass, bowed towards the princess and left. Though he did hesitate… he also glared heavily at his back. The Forgemaster could tell, most soldiers had a sixth sense for when they were being watched. Poor Blueblood; death glares are something that few ponies could pull off but those that could did it in a sad, kind of cute, manner.

Celestia waited until Blueblood had fully retreated, and the doors had shut before saying, "I have news, Forgemaster, a request as well, but mostly good news. And I thank you for defending Lulu, I'm sure she will appreciate it as well."

He nodded and calmly awaited her to continue.

"Well, it seems that with the loss of one of their primary storehouses," She eyed him quite a bit there, "The griffons are a bit more… hesitant to make demands of us. Tensions have cooled slightly and it is less likely for the griffon kingdom to make a foolish and poorly thought out war with Equestria. Tensions are still high, of course, but Griffonia appears to be moving away from open war and more into one of your 'cold wars' that you humans seem to love so much." she smiled just a bit at the end there.

"So, less army, more spying? More unexplained 'splosions?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Indeed, of course the griffon king's honor and pride have been wounded, so he'll probably go down swinging. Be on the look-out for any spies and possible assassins."

He nodded, while she continued.

"While we are on the subject," She began, "Forgemaster, why have you allowed an unknown entity to perform less than savory actions against a foreign government?"

He shrugged, "He's good at it, believe it or not, and he's so crazy that no one would believe he was sent from calm, peaceful Equestria. The other nations' views of you being a nice, warm hearted monarch have helped my agents on more than one occasion, as well as lowered their opinions on what you are actually capable of."

She nodded her head, "Ponies seem to forget that Equestria wasn't always such a peaceful place. I worked hard, and Luna did too, to make Equestria what it is today. It may have been a while since I have practiced the art of war, and I'm sure that I'm more than a little rusty, but nopony threatens Equestria without a proper response."

She frowned, "And then there's your response. Your arsenal of responses seems to revolve around; 'kill everything now' doesn't it?"

He shrugged, "And sometimes napalm, when I want absolutely everything burned, now."

She shook her head, exasperated, "Anyways, onto more important matters: my sister." Trust Celestia to think more of her sister than a possible war, she's a doting sister alright; "She has expressed a desire to visit Ponyville during the Nightmare Night celebration. I am all for it, but she hasn't been amongst the ponies since she has come back to me. She spends most of her free time in her room reading or at the library picking up books to read, she has preferred to learn through reading to prepare herself before actually going out into public. A bit like Twilight, in that regard." Celestia smirked, "She always was the more bookish between the 2 of us, she was more into science and research then she ever was governance. Many of the spells as we know them today were crafted by my sister, too many ponies didn't appreciate her many contributions. It was part of the reason she turned to the Nightmare in the first place. Thankfully, she had returned, she's probably researching all of the advancements and spells created in her absence."

"And now she wants to attend a festival in her honor?" he asked.

"Yes. I believe this would be one of her first times in public since… Anyways, you will be there to help her in anything she needs, understand?"

He nodded, "I would have done so anyway."

"You have to remember that 1000 years ago it was customary for the princesses to address their subjects at a… higher volume than usual..."

wWwWwWw

2 Hours later, Ponyville

A certain blood red, black maned alicorn was walking through the streets of Ponyville. The Forgemaster, in his 'Crimson Hammer' persona - or is it 'ponya'? – was walking through the newly constructed Ponyville, scarcely rebuilt more than 20 days ago. Those Parasprites could certainly do some damage, especially if they are under a spell to make them eat the town. Certain words had been said to Twilight and she had been suitably chastised, enough so that The Forgemaster felt that any further punishment was unnecessary.

He had decided to go as a pony because Rainbow Dash had made him. Apparently, it would be counted as a date in her small book that she kept on him. Seriously; she really had a book, it was small, red, heart-shaped, and she occasionally wrote in it whenever he did something good and usually when he did something bad. Personally, he thought that it was a record book of everything they had ever done as a couple. That would explain a good many things, both about his current relationship with her as well as previous relationships when he was back on Earth. That of course brought up the question, 'Did human women use these record books too?' While he had no proof, he wasn't around humans anymore, so he decided the question to be irrelevant.

This had also somehow caused his current situation, namely; Rainbow Dash lying out on his back, spending some 'quality time' with him, and basically making him carry her around. Ponies stared at him as he walked past. Single stallions laughed, stallions with their marefriend or wives would laugh and then be immediately scolded, while mares, both single and not, would look after them with a dreamy smile on their faces, probably thinking about how cute they looked, of course, this face would usually change into jealousy, if they had a secret crush on him, righteous anger, if they had a husband or coltfriend and they weren't also currently carrying them, or carried on with their day.

Though she appeared to be sleeping… Hmm, better fix that.

A sudden jolt woke Rainbow Dash from her slumber, "Huh- wha'?" she lifted her head from his back.

"Nice to see you back in the land of the living, Dash." He said.

She ignored him in favor of snuggling closer into his back, she mumbled into his coat, "So soft~"

He shook himself some more, "Dashie~ wake up~" he said in a sing-song tone.

She mumbled again, "Don' wanna!"

A few more shakes, and she was up for good.

She raised her head and neck fully from his back, she yawned and rubbed an eye with the back of her hoof as she said, "You're really soft, did you know that?"

He replied, "No, you're really light, did you know that?"

She scowled, "Well duh, I'm the best athlete in Ponyville, that means trim muscle, no fat."

"But of course, "he replied, hoping to stave off any sudden anger, "But that can't make up for all of it, I carried Twilight before and she barely has any muscle at all."

"Yeah, well she's a unicorn. Unicorns aren't pegasi." She said as though it explained everything.

He hummed in thought, "You have an avian bone structure, don't you?"

Her uncomprehending look made him prompt, "Hollow bones."

A look of realization flashed across her face, she replied, "Yeah, you didn't know that? We may have some magic in our wings, but that can't account for all of the weight we'd be carrying around if we had bones like unicorns and Earth ponies do."

He frowned, "But alicorns don't have hollow bones."

She rolled her eyes, "Probably 'cause you've got more magic in your wings than anypony!"

He nodded and continued on his way, going back to his home to prepare for the festivities, Ponyville had already been decorated fully, and one of the ponies, probably Pinkie, had done up his house against his will while he was gone.

After a few minutes, he asked, "Got any other avian characteristics?"

"Uh, that means birds, right?" He nodded, "Okay, well, we don't really have fur like other ponies do. We got really tiny feathers all over our body. It really helps at high altitude, that's how pegasi can live at Cloudsdale so easily."

He nodded again, but then asked, "Anything else?"

She looked around conspiratorially, and then leaned in to whisper in his ear, "You know how birds sometimes eat fish? Well, I heard an old mare's tale about how pegasi can do it too. I've never tried it though, so it might be just an old tale, but it might be true."

"Why don't you try it?" he asked with a smirk, hoping to provoke her inner champion into rising to the challenge, he looked over his shoulder to look her in the eye.

Her sudden wide eyes made him chuckle, she said in a harsh whisper, "Don't even say that, you know what other ponies would think!?"

"If it's an old mare's tale, then there is at least some truth to it. I'd be willing to bet that ancient pegasi ate fish like it was no big deal."

"Maybe back then, but today is totally different." She hastily explained.

He smirked, "If it were any other pony saying that then I'd have called them a coward."

Oh, he could feel the rage coming off her in waves, he looked back over his shoulder to see – literal! – flames in her eyes.

"What. Did you say?" she asked with barely restrained anger in her voice.

"I guess there's only one way to prove it." He said as he walked up to his house.

She whacked him over the head, "You dummy, trying to goad me into doing something that everypony would hate me for." She growled, "I have some limits, you know, I'm not stupid."

He let her off of his back and onto the ground outside his door.

"I know, but you're like a white dwarf star, extremely hot, but not very bright." She growled in anger, "I just wanted to see if you would actually do it. For all you know it might taste delicious."

She kicked him in the shin hard in retaliation. He didn't even flinch at the contact.

She shook her head, exasperated, "How do you even do that!?"

He raised a brow and asked, "Do what?"

"Get kicked in the shin and not feel it." She explained.

"I felt it, Dashie, I just didn't care." He said, "'Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional'."

"Dude, "She began, awed, "You have got to teach me that."

"It's not really something that can be taught, it's really more of a mind-set." He stated in a wise, old teacher's voice, "Next time you get hurt, just try your hardest to continue on as though nothing has happened, it will be difficult but it will become easier over time, the centuries have been good to me in some areas, and terrifying, assholish, Nazi's in others."

He ruffled her rainbow mane with a hoof, as an older sibling might so to a younger one. She scowled under the treatment.

He suddenly froze and said, "Wait."

He then continued to rub her hair but at a faster pace as he moved his head in closely to focus. His brow was furrowed in concentration and his eyes were squinted, trying to get a better glimpse of the phenomenon he was observing.

Rainbow put up with this for a few moments, a brow raised the whole time, before she shook his hoof off and asked, "What the hay?"

He pointed the mane-ruffling hoof at her mane and said, "The colors don't mix, in your mane. How does that work?"

She chuckled and said, "I don't really know either, I've been trying to figure that out for years, ever since I was a filly."

He accepted the answer but warned, "If Twilight ever figured that out, she might cut off your mane for studying."

She slightly paled, but didn't respond as she walked into their home, him following after. It was really his home, but Rainbow stays over so much that it may as well be her home too. He tossed the bags full of candy onto the couch, he had prepared for this night by buying bagfuls in Canterlot.

"Hey, Nightmare Night starts once night falls, you gonna get your costume ready?" Rainbow asked once she was comfortably seated on the couch.

"It will all be ready soon, what are you going as anyway?"

"Don't tell anypony," she warned, "I want it to be a surprise, but I'm going as a Shadowbolt. And I'm gonna be pranking the hooves off everypony in town!"

"2 things." He stated, "1: Who are they? And 2: would they be good for role-playing?"

She smirked, "Yes, and they were those creepy looking pegasi when we went to go buck Nightmare Moon's teeth in. I really thought the Shadowbolt costumes looked awesome, and they're all dark and mysterious so it's perfect for Nightmare Night. Heck, if they hadn't asked me to betray my friends I would've joined up, 'course they turned out to be fake, but hey, whatcha' gonna do?" She shrugged, "And what stallion wouldn't want to be with a mysterious mare of the night from the Shadowbolts?" she asked with a playful smirk on her face.

"I don't know, "He replied, "Someone with a marefriend?"

She rolled her eyes, "Well no duh."

"So, how are you going to be pranking the ponies?"

"Well, if 'Mr. Dark and Mysterious' won't share his costume, then I guess you'll have to find out for yourself." She grinned, slowly and maliciously.

The only thing missing was the thunder clap and the maniacal laughter.

wWwWwWw

Nightfall

"Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!" a chorus of child-like voices rang out.

"Oi! Simba! Throw candy at them and they'll go away!" An answering voice called out from inside the home.

A yip from a certain unseen-for-several-chapters vulpine was heard, and the door was opened by magic.

In the doorway was a conglomeration of beasties, ghouls, and ne'er-do-wells… disguised, of course, as a princess, an astronaut (which was confusing because the ponies hadn't made it to space yet…), a ladybug, a pirate, and… Pinkie Pie.

Simba took one look at them and grinned a foxy grin from inside his own costume. Apparently, and it was probably Pinkie's fault, Simba had gotten a hold of some parts of the Naruto manga and had demanded, or perhaps begged, a costume of the primary fox character from the series. That's right; the Kyuubi, most powerful of the Tailed Beasts, was smiling at the 5 ponies, his 9 tails waving behind him, and a bag of candy in his magical grasp.

The Forgemaster had gotten home and was begged into helping Simba dye his fur red, and make 8 more tails for the costume. They weren't perfect, and Simba had some balance issues, but a critter designed for 1 tail should only have 1 tail, and he had like 15 minutes, tops. That Simba, and most albino's, naturally had red eyes only made the illusion better, finding red contacts would have been impossible on the time table they were on.

While the foal and fillies and Pinkie were a bit put off by not having their resident giant biped and/or guards pony come out to give them candy, an amazing fox wasn't half bad either.

"Heya Simby!" Pinkie began, "We came for some candy from stingy old Crimson, but now that you're here, you can get us extra, right?"

Getting the 6 mares that knew about both of his identities to agree to not reveal him was easy, getting them to know when and where to call him which was a challenge. Especially Pinkie, but all had been solved eventually.

Simba frowned and looked over his shoulder, he then whined and The Forgemaster as Crimson Hammer replied, "Oh, just give her what she wants, she'll beg you until you do it."

Simba rolled his blood-red eyes but complied, tossing a chunk of candy into the waiting bags of the tiny ponies. The smaller ones moved on to the next house, undoubtedly in search of more candy.

But, Pinkie stayed behind and said, "Red! Get out here; I want to see your costume! Twilight's was a weirdo clown thing, but I bet yours is great!"

"I am older than the sum of all the ponies in Ponyville squared, but I am forced to belittle myself for the enjoyment of them." He sighed deeply at the end, not being entirely truthful.

Pinkie yelled out, "Stop being a grouchy old meanie mean pants! Come out here and have fun!"

He replied, "I was always going to come out, I just wished to make myself clear that, while I will participate and likely enjoy myself, I am deeply conflicted over whether or not a being of my age should be doing this."

As his monologue wound down, he stepped from the depths of his home and into the doorway, in full view of Pinkie. But, she was severely disappointed.

"Aw man!" she exclaimed, "You didn't even dress up at all!"

It was true, The Forgemaster stood before her in another species' body, naked as the day when he may or may not have been born as a human in a different dimension. Ah… confusion.

The Forgemaster, seeing her for the first time, remarked, "And you are a chicken."

She rolled her eyes and said as though it were obvious, which it was, "Well, duh! Now c'mon! Go and get dressed!"

He nodded and then burst into green flame. Pinkie was scared for his safety and was about to cry out, but the flame disappeared as quickly as it had come, leaving in its place a skeletal pony, with a flaming neon green mane and tail, and small flames of the same color in its eyes sockets. His wings had lost their feathers, only the bones supporting them remained. His horn remained, though it lost the luster commonly associated with horns and became the color of old desiccated bone. The pony snorted, shooting more green flame out from the skeletal nose, and trotted a few times in place, leaving flaming green hoof prints where they landed.

Pinkie was shocked, and stood with her mouth open at the new pony in front of her.

The skeleton opened its mouth and said, "Hmm… this feels strange. But, I believe it to be an excellent costume for this occasion."

Pinkie's mouth stayed open as she thought with all of the alacrity that being her brought. Deciding upon a new nickname rather rapidly, she closed her mouth before opening it once more in speech, "Bones!"

She then tackled him to the ground in a 'bone shattering' hug. Leave it to Pinkie to both choose a nickname for the form he would only use once, and simultaneous leap at him to hug a flaming skeleton. Although, she was incredibly happy, ecstatic even, to discover that the green flames didn't burn at contact.

Simba was staring at his master with his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth, completely content with watching him be choked to death.

Eventually, after much time and begging for air, Pinkie released him.

But, she was looking at him with confusion, "Hey, why is it that I can touch you? The ones Twilight does you can just walk through like they aren't even there!"

He replied, "She was using an illusion, I am using a transformation: a completely different type of magic, in its magnitude, its uses, and its difficulty. I am actually transforming my body, not just projecting what I want to look like. These bones are my own, and the skill it takes to form an exoskeleton while simultaneously compressing organs and blood vessels into sizes that would fit inside these bones, amongst many, many other things, is far outside Twilight's current ability. She'll get there, one day, just not now."

Pinkie took a long moment staring into his empty save for a green flame eye sockets. She then said, "So you've got organs in your bones?"

He nodded.

She continued, "So… if I poke you, right there, "She pointed towards his right side rib, third down, "What would I be poking?"

"Kidney." He replied.

She took a moment to think, suddenly she brightened and smiled a large smile, "That's so cool! We've got to show Twilight!"

She took him by the skeletal hoof and dragged him off to wherever it was that Twilight was at.

Simba was left looking after the blur of colors that was his master. He stared after the 2 of them for a moment, before turning in the other direction and went off on his own to explore the town and also gather what sweets he may.

wWwWwWw

(I'm thinking of changing my infamous W's scene divider because Word always wants to capitalize the first W. Maybe to, 'WwWwWwW')

Pinkie swiftly dragged him to Twilight. No seriously, he lives at the edge of town and Twilight was in the central square, Pinkie got him there in like 7 seconds. Like a Rainbow Dash of the lands…

Apparently, instead of going to get more candy, the foals and fillies from previously had decided to go talk to Twilight. That was surprising, given Twilight's 'let's learn everything' personality clashed with the younglings' 'school is boring' personalities.

Pinkie ran up to her with him in tow and entered the conversation as though she had been there since the start.

"And then we went to Cheerilee's house and Red's place and got a bunch more goodies, didn't we Pip?"

The small pirate-dressed foal replied, "Sure did!"

"And you should SEE his costume!" She continued, "It's like he's a zombie! Only better because he's not trying to eat our brains!"

The Forgemaster took this as his cue and stepped forward. The ponies gasped and gazed in awe at his amazing 'costume'.

The tiny, younger ponies suddenly started talking about how awesome his 'costume' looked. They swarmed him on all sides and chattered up a storm. Pinkie looked on with an extraordinarily happy grin on her face while she giggled, and Twilight looked on with a smirk as she saw his slight discomfort.

Suddenly, even more suddenly than the other sudden things this night, a bolt of lightning came from the sky and hit Pinkie right on the back. Because she is invincible, Pinkie was fine but incredibly scared. She, along with the foals and fillies, immediately ran for the metaphoric hills. Twilight was startled, but managed not to flee from the sound and Spike was incapable of movement due to candy. Loud belly laughter was coming from above them, someone clearly enjoyed their prank. The Forgemaster was looking up at the source, completely unruffled, and showing even less emotion than usual, in part because of his immobile bone face.

It turned out to be Rainbow, in a Shadowbolt outfit, as she said, and pranking ponies, as she said.

In a scolding tone, Twilight said, "Rainbow Dash, that wasn't very nice."

Rainbow cut her laugh off and replied, "Lighten up old timer, "The Forgemaster would've grinned if he could have, bones and all that prevented him, "This is the best night of the year for pranks!"

"But look what you did to Spike!" Twilight pointed at Spike, who appeared to be choking… wasn't anyone going to help him?

"Aw, it's all in good fun." Rainbow declared, she then focused her attention on him, "Hmm… the only pony I know that could pull that costume off would be a certain hammery guy."

He waved and said, "Yo."

She smirked, "I thought so, really, really awesome by the way. I really dig the green flames too, best part of the costume by far. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I see another group over there!" she pointed into the distance before leaping off of her cloud and pushing it in the direction she indicated.

All was silent for a moment, the lightning bolt having scared away all but three living things in the vicinity. After a moment, another lightning strike could be heard from some distance away, followed by Rainbow's laughter once more.

The Forgemaster looked at Spike, who was still choking, and said, "You know Twilight, common courtesy dictates that when someone is choking, you stop it and save their life."

He walked over to Spike, lifted a hoof over his chest, and set it down fairly hard. Spike's body made an amusing squeaking noise when he did so. The candy shot out of Spike's mouth at an impressive velocity, going off into the distance to probably strike some passersby. Spike breathed deeply a few times before wheezing out a thank you to him.

Then there was an awkward silence once more.

Spike broke it a few moments later, "So skeleton huh? Looks really cool. Wish I'd have thought of that."

The Forgemaster… couldn't technically blink, but the flames in his eyes did dim momentarily before brightening again, so it is to be assumed that he had blinked, he then said, "And you, Spike the dragon, are a dragon, kind of looking like Barnie too. You, sir, are the pinnacle of originality. And Twilight is… Starswirl the Bearded?"

Twilight noticeably brightened at hearing that her costume was recognized, but Spike was noticeably dejected at hearing his costume be so… plain. Well, it wouldn't have been plain had he been a pony, but it was plain because he was a dragon dressed up as a dragon.

"What a strange title for such a well-known magician… And such a weird outfit too…" The Forgemaster rubbed his chin in thought, pondering on why a magician was known as such. Sure he had an awesome beard, but was that really the most distinctive thing about him? The thing ponies remembered about him before all else? Apparently, as the name had stuck. Poor guy.

Twilight bristled at the slight towards her fundamental hero, aside from Princess Celestia, that is.

"Hey! This is hoof stitched!" she declared.

"Why didn't you use magic?" he asked.

Instead of waiting for a reply, he continued, "And I thought this was Nightmare Night! Who dresses up as a historical figure that wasn't scary for Nightmare Night?" Twilight blushed, embarrassed, "Come to think of it, I didn't see a single scary outfit tonight. Where's the vampires, the werewolves, the mass-murderers!? For all you ponies' creativity at everything but technology, I find this a bit off."

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Well, obviously nopony wants to be scary. Who would want that?"

"Ponies that want to be feared, Twilight. Obviously." The Forgemaster replied, Spike chuckled at him.

Twilight rolled her eyes at him, "C'mon, we should see the rest of the festival before day break."

Twilight then walked away, demanding that they follow her without words.

He and Spike followed after her.

Soon after, they came across Applejack dressed as a scarecrow operating the apple dunk game. Though, she was more like standing next to it and watching, but operating is a close enough word.

Twilight called out to her, "Happy Nightmare Night, Applejack!"

Applejack waved back, saying, "Howdy y'all! Nice costume."

Spike immediately thanked her, "Thanks!" see, told you, "I'm a dragon!"

Twilight growled, "She means me, Spike."

"I believe that the individual with a flawless recreation of an undead pony was the recipient of her praise, Ms. Weirdo Clown." The Forgemaster interjected.

Applejack smiled at the banter between them, but interrupted saying, "I was actually talkin' to all y'all, your costumes are all nice."

The Forgemaster said, "You are terrible at lying, we all know you like mine the best."

Applejack frowned, "I wasn't lyi-"

"Stop it, Mr. Bones. It's obvious that she likes mine the best." Twilight declared.

"I still think she was talking about me." Spike pouted.

"I don't think so-"

"Enough!" Applejack shouted, "It don't matter who has the best costume. He's a skeleton, Spike's a dragon, and Twilight's a- er, Country music singer?"

While Spike chuckled, The Forgemaster did the same at Twilight's expense, though his was creepier, considering that skeletons aren't supposed to laugh. He laughed like sandpaper on the ears.

Some cheering and applauding came from behind them, prompting a look from the 4 of them. Seeing what was going on, Twilight and Spike went over to the crowd and entered it. Applejack and The Forgemaster stayed where they were. There was hardly a need to enter the crowd if they could hear from over there.

Barely paying any attention at all, he would remember it all against his will anyway; The Forgemaster looked around to see if anything interesting was happening around him.

In the distance, he saw Rainbow pranking more ponies with her lightning cloud, laughing the entire time she was doing so. Up the street, he saw Simba on a large pile of candy and merrily snacking on them all. He seemed to have a large chocolate sculpture of something, it was half eaten when he saw it, and was taking bites out of it rapidly. The Forgemaster frowned, could foxes eat chocolate? He was fairly sure they couldn't, but he had never tested it or read about it. He shrugged, as long as he didn't die, the stomach ache the little kit would have later on would serve as ample reminder that foxes could not, in fact, eat chocolate with any degree of success. Hopefully the modifications would keep him alive…. Or maybe the modifications allowed him to eat chocolate? Hmm… too many variables, he'll test it later.

He looked back towards the crowd with Mayor Mare, but found the crowd dispersed and Twilight and Spike nowhere to be seen.

Well then, might as well go eat some candy. But he was a skeleton… damn. Then he'll go and collect candy so when he stops being a skeleton on the morrow he will eat it with relish!

He set out to collect some candy, and did so very successfully for quite a few minutes.

And then a sudden storm appeared out of nowhere. That seemed to be happening a lot, sudden things suddenly doing something sudden. Following this pattern, Pinkie and the foals and fillies ran though the square and out the other side, everypony staring after them in confusion as they went.

And then Twilight ran back into the square, and a royal chariot appeared in the skies… Whoa, Lulu certainly can make an entrance.

He had been told that Luna would show up, but she really had a flair for the dramatic. Dark skies, check, stormy clouds, check, dark cloak, check, random bolts of lightning at strategically placed times, check, night pegasi guards, check, freaking out most of the ponies save him and Twilight, double checkity check check.

Luna stepped forward from where she had landed towards the crowd of ponies; said ponies were cowering in fear from the goddess of the night. Her cloak even disappeared into bats that flew away, so cool.

"Citizens of Ponyville!" Holy shit, Lulu was loud, "We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real princess of the night! A creature of nightmare is no longer, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!" the ponies backed away from Luna in obvious terror as lightning flashed in the background and Luna reared up on her hind legs.

"Did you hear that, everypony?" Pinkie asked, "Nightmare Moon says she's gonna feast on us all!"

And then she and the younglings ran away, screaming for their lives.

The Forgemaster looked around, apparently he was the only one who wasn't cowering, well, Twilight wasn't cowering per se, but she was dragged to the ground in a bow by Spike.

Luna stared after the fleeing crowd of ponies, dumbfounded, "What? No children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight are what your princess desires, not screams of terror!"

Luna looked around before pointing at Mayor Mare, "Madame Mayor, the princess of the night hath arrived." She yelled at the Mayor.

Was this what Celestia meant when she said that Luna was having difficulty adjusting, and the volume thing? Hopefully, because he really didn't want to see what might be more than this. This problem was a simple fix; find some way to make Luna quieter. She was still using the Royal Canterlot Voice, as was traditional amongst royalty a thousand years ago or so.

Mayor Mare cowered from the princess of the Night.

Luna reared back and pointed at the next pony over, "What is the matter with you?" she asked.

She pointed a few more times amongst the crowd, each pony cowering more so when they were pointed at.

Luna had apparently not noticed him… it was probably the costume.

"Very well then. Be that way." Luna turned her head from the crowd, "We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell."

Luna then walked away towards the forest, The Forgemaster got up and walked after her. After a moment of conversing with Spike, Twilight followed after them.

He arrived at Luna's side first, "Hi Luna." He said to her.

She looked over her shoulder at him, "Who are you?" she asked, as loudly as possible.

He pouted as best he could with an immobile, bone face, "Lulu doesn't recognize me?" he sniffed a few times, wondering if he could make any flaming tears fall from his eyes.

Apparently he could, as she continued with a much quieter voice, "There are only 2 ponies that call me that, and you are certainly not Tia." She smiled softly, "Hello Forgemaster, are you enjoying your candy?" she indicated the bag of candy around his neck.

He shook his head, "I don't have any taste buds."

She blinked, "Oh." And then she chuckled.

"Princess Luna?" a soft voice asked from behind them, making The Forgemaster pout as best he could again, even as a skeleton nopony noticed him, "Hi, my name is-"

"Starswirl the Bearded," Luna finished for her, standing and turning to face them, "Commendable costume! Thou even got the bells right..."

"Thank you, finally! Somepony who gets my costume!" Twilight then noticed Luna's frown, "Uh, I just came to welcome you to our celebration! My actual name is-"

"Twilight Sparkle." Luna finished for her again, before continuing in a booming voice, "It was thou who unleashed the powers of harmony upon us and took away our dark powers!"

Wow, Lulu could be scary without even trying. She raised herself in the air with her wings and summoned a dark storm behind her as she 'spoke' to Twilight. She even blew Twilight back with the force of her voice.

"And that was a good thing, right?" Twilight asked.

"But of course." Luna assured her, though she was basically yelling at her, "We could not be happier. Is that not clear?"

"No it's not Lulu, you're yelling at all of the ponies." The Forgemaster told her, "The Traditional Royal Canterlot voice hasn't been used for centuries, and the ponies here aren't used to it. They are scared of it, and by extension, you."

Luna frowned, "But, it is tradition to speak, using the royal "we", and to use this much volume when addressing our subjects!"

Twilight readjusted her hat and beard while The Forgemaster had nothing to adjust, save for relighting his mane, "Yes, Luna, a few centuries ago though. Things have changed. If you want to fit in with the locals, you're going to have to speak like you do with me and Tia at the palace." He said.

Luna frowned, off put.

Twilight then said, "You know, that might explain why your appearance was met with... mixed results. I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception."

"Change our approach?" Luna yelled into Twilight's ear, who was not deafened somehow.

"Lower the volume..?" Twilight suggested, The Forgemaster grunted in agreement.

"Ohhh." She looked between him and Twilight, "We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are... not sure we can."

"Worry not, Lulu, if there's a will there's a way." The Forgemaster reassured her, "And nothing is impossible, remember that." He put a hoof to his chin in thought, "Though there are some things so mathematically improbable that when you round the final result, it is impossible. But let's not let that discourage us!"

Twilight smiled, "I bet if we talk to Fluttershy she could help us."

He immediately let out a whoop of joy at being able to visit his favorite pony and picked up Twilight and Luna before teleporting them to Fluttershy's house.

After shaking off the unexpected teleportation, Twilight, and Luna walked towards the conveniently close-by Fluttershy's home.

"Don't worry, Princess." Twilight said, "Fluttershy can give you some great pointers. She's delicate and demure with the sweetest little voice."

The Forgemaster objected, "She is not delicate, she is gentle. She is not demure, she is quiet. She doesn't have a little voice, she has an adorable voice that anypony could listen to and feel true peace come over them. Bad Twilight, don't insult Fluttershy 'less you want to lose a limb."

Twilight rolled her eyes and knocked on Fluttershy's door.

"Go away!" Fluttershy boomed, "No candy here! Visitors not welcome on Nightmare Night!"

All three of them blinked, surprised.

The Forgemaster said to Luna, "Perhaps she's a long lost relative of you and Tia?"

Luna replied, completely serious, "Perhaps." As Twilight was saying through the door, "Fluttershy, it's me, Twilight!"

Fluttershy slowly cracked the door, enough so that she could see Twilight, "Oh… it is you."

Fluttershy opened the door further until she saw The Forgemaster and Luna, "And Nightmare Moon and a skeleton pony." She gasped, "Nightmare Moon and a dead pony!?"

She yelled out in fright and hastily closed the door in their faces.

Twilight chuckled nervously and entered the home, "Wait right here" she said.

Twilight went into Fluttershy's home and shortly thereafter a cacophony of noise came from within.

The Forgemaster turned to Luna and said, "Please don't scare Fluttershy."

Luna replied, "I shall try."

Then Twilight pushed a clearly frightened Fluttershy out through the door.

Luna said, "Charmed." And held out her hoof. This strategy would have worked had she not also used the Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice.

Fluttershy immediately bolted through the door and into her home, she was caught shortly thereafter by Twilight, using her magic for an easy advantage.

Twilight levitated Fluttershy in front of Luna, Fluttershy then whispered, "Likewise."

Luna then yelled, "Twilight Sparkle hath spoken of the sweetness of thy voice. We ask thou teachest to us to speak as thou speakest."

Twilight had set Fluttershy on the floor, from the floor she whispered, "Okay."

"Shall our lessons begin?" Luna asked, still with the booming voice.

"Okay." The whispered reply came.

"Shall we mimic thy voice?"

"Okay."

"How is this?" Luna asked with the same voice.

Fluttershy hurriedly said, "Perfectlessonover."

She then bolted to her door, but Twilight hut it in her face, making Fluttershy impact the door to her home with a resounding thud.

The Forgemaster whacked Twilight I the head, "Don't hurt Fluttershy." He then picked up Fluttershy from her flattened position on the door and held her close.

Grumbling, Twilight said to Luna, "A little quieter, princess."

"How is this?" Luna asked, beginning in the Royal Canterlot voice, but ending in just yelling.

"Better." Twilight declared, "Right Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy twitched in his grasp a few times before muttering, "Yes." And then collapsing.

"How... about... now?" Luna asked, still quite loudly though quieter.

"Now you're getting it!" Twilight declared.

"Almost there Lulu, just talk like you do with me and Tia." The Forgemaster advised.

"And… how about now?" she asked with a perfectly normal voice.

"Yes! Well done." Twilight said.

Luna frowned, "I never thought it would be so difficult to break the habit of speaking to the commoners with the Royal Canterlot Voice." She then smiled and said, in the Royal Canterlot Voice, "Ah, thank thee, dear Fluttershy! Our normal speaking voice shall surely win us the hearts of thy fellow villagers." While hugging Fluttershy and scaring her even more.

Pinkie and the baby ponies then appeared on the bridge to Fluttershy's house, "Fluttershy! You've gotta hide us! Nightmare Moon is here and..." she squawked like a chicken when she saw Fluttershy being hugged by Princess Luna, "She stole Fluttershy's voice so she can't scream when she GOBBLES HER UP!"

Then they all screamed and ran… again.

Luna leaped after them, yelling in the Royal voice, "Nay, children, wait!" She caught herself in the Royal Voice and continued normally, "I mean... nay, children, wait." Quite pitiably.

Luna then pouted, with drooping ears and everything. It was so cute.

Twilight smiled and said, "C'mon princess, it's time for Plan B."

The Forgemaster asked, "Can't we just put them in an illusion where they see that Luna is nice?"

"No! Messing with other ponies' minds is wrong! Now come on." Twilight snorted and walked in the direction of Ponyville, The Forgemaster and Luna following, both looking downtrodden as they walked.

"Aww… why can't we just manipulate with their minds a little?" he asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Because then we would be sociopaths, Forgemaster."

"But the drones wouldn't care!" he declared, "They would be too addled to do anything anyway."

Twilight sighed, "You just called the ponies 'drones'."

"So?" he asked.

Twilight didn't respond with words, though her heavy sigh communicated her exasperation.

The strange trio walked to Ponyville, and within minutes were at the festival once more. The ponies were enjoying their games and dances as though they weren't aware of a possible threat in their village. Apparently, even though they had the knowledge of 'Nightmare Moon's' return, they deduced that ignoring it would be the best solution.

The 3 entered the festival proper, and immediately those playing games stopped and the music ceased playing. Ponies would all bow whenever Luna would look in their direction. Twilight was busy trying to figure out a solution to the problem, and The Forgemaster was bored.

As Luna observed the cowardly bowing ponies, she remarked, "It is of no use, Twilight Sparkle. They have never liked us and they never shall."

Even though her volume issues had been solved, her habit of using the royal 'we' in public still remained. Strange that she was fine in private, but she changed her demeanor so abruptly in public. It was a common enough thing for a famous person, and pony, to do, though the fact that she couldn't seem to blend the 2 or switch at will was a bit concerning.

"My friend Applejack is one of the most likeable ponies around." Twilight replied, evidently coming to a solution to the princess' woes, "I'm sure she'll have some ideas." Or maybe not.

Of course, with a brilliant intellect she couldn't fix a social problem, but going to Applejack was certainly a better option for socially-related problems.

They approached the apple-bobbing station that they had previously found Applejack at, and she was still there. As they approached, Applejack saved the small, pirate colt from a watery dunk, said pirate promptly ran off.

Unfortunately, Applejack's back was turned as she saved the foal, so she did not know of their approach. As she turned around rapidly, she immediately noticed Luna and fell into a deep bow, almost groveling on the floor, gasping as she did so. With eyes made of flame in his costume, The Forgemaster couldn't roll his eyes, though he desperately wanted to. He briefly considered slapping on some red paint around his neck, going invisible from the neck down, and then walking around as a beheaded, floating horse's head. That was bound to get some laughs, though he didn't see any paint… oh well then, maybe next year.

Twilight grinned nervously and leaned down to her level, "Uh... Applejack, the princess is looking for a little advice on how to fit in around here."

"'Fit in'?" Applejack asked, incredulous, "Really?"

At Twilight's glare, she continued, "I mean... that's easy! All you gotta do is have the right attitude." Applejack explained, before using the pony species' innate lightning quickness to zoom about Luna, "Loosen up a bit, be positive, play a few games, have some fun."

"Fun?" Luna asked as though she had never heard the word, "What is this 'fun' thou speakest of?"

While Applejack and Twilight simultaneously pointed towards a nearby game, The Forgemaster said, "Like playing around with Tia, that was fun."

Luna nodded and went to the proffered station, upon reaching the game and seeing the implements, she inquired, "Pray tell, what purpose do these serve?"

The cowering game supervisor that was also dressed as a bumble bee, in an impressive display of customer service, for which she would later receive an anonymous and large bag of bits for, said, "Try to land the sp-sp-spiders on the web."

Because throwing spiders back to their home was the cool thing to do, Princess Luna picked one up and tossed it towards the web. Unfortunately, she fell just short of the web.

To alleviate Luna's uncertainty, Applejack yelled, "You can do it, Princess!"

Luna regained her determination and squared her jaw. She picked up another and, accompanied by the sound of a drum roll courtesy of The Forgemaster, threw the second spider directly onto the web, perfectly centered.

Luna was ecstatic, "Ha! Your princess enjoys this 'fun!'" she turned back to the trio helping her in this matter and asked, "In what other ways may we experience it?"

So they took her over to the punkin-launch, which none but The Forgemaster understood.

Luna loaded her own pumpkin onto the catapult… that looked suspiciously like the one he had built a few weeks ago… So that's where it went, no good thieving ponies. One cannot simply steal a person's catapult inconspicuously, unless one had magic, apparently.

Anyways, when Twilight called out, "Fire away, Princess!" Luna did so, and hit her target perfectly.

Luna was having at least twice as much fun as she was at the spider throwing station.

"Haha! The fun has been doubled!" Luna cried.

Ha! Called it.

The ponies seemed to either love the remark, or love how the princess was apparently not evil. Either way, they were warming up to Luna, to everyone who cared's enjoyment.

Luna looked to the 3 helping her once more, probably to inquire as to how she may have more fun.

Applejack beat her to the punch however, "Why don't you try bobbin' for apples? We got the best apples in Equestria, princess."

Luna was nervous as she stated, "I ask that thou call us... me... Luna, fair Applejack." She gained heart from her own personal victory in a social situation and yelled, "Hear me, villagers! All of you! Call me Luna!"

The villagers seemed to enjoy the change, it was far less scary than Nightmare Moon, after all. If only poor, lonely Luna hadn't turned to the dark side of… magic? Is there even a dark side to magic? It's probably just in the way one uses it… a fireball is perfectly neutral magic until you start using it to incinerate anything and everything indiscriminately. Like the death ray and science, the fireball and magic are not intrinsically evil, it's how it's used.

Ah, philosophy.

Luna was walking with Applejack, The Forgemaster, and Twilight towards the appl bobbing station.

Luna had asked them to show her to the place, and they were merrily doing so. Sacrificing one solitary night of candy and… that's really it, for teaching a princess how to navigate the public domain was far more rewarding. In addition to being a good deed, said princess might just give rewards! Like candy!

At the distant apple bobbing station, the colt pirate known as Pipsqueak was being helped up to the rim of the barrel by the fearsome, 2 foot tall, Kyuubi. Unfortunately, Pip the Pirate fell into the barrel of water and apples. Of course, he immediately started drowning.

Poor ponies, at least human babies can instinctively swim and hold their breath; the pony species is apparently incapable of such a feat.

Luna had seen the fall and immediately ran to Pip's rescue. Of course, Simba could have had him out in a few moments, but Luna didn't know about his less-than-completely-normal self. She probably just saw a fox, an adorable albino fox with 9 tails, but just a fox nonetheless. Foxes can't levitate things with their minds, but Simba could. Of course, Simba could do a lot of things that most foxes couldn't, magic being one of them.

The Forgemaster, to this day, still chuckles every time he remembers where he had gotten the magical sample for Simba from. Celestia was the kindly unwitting donor. When he had told her, she was upset, however, when he told her jokingly that Simba would grow up to raise the sun all on his own, Celestia had immediately stolen him to teach him. The chance to have a morning off was too much for the ancient princess. However, The Forgemaster still liked having Simba around, so Celestia got him on weekends. When Captain Shining Armor had brought up that they sometimes act like an old married couple, he had immediately been ejected from the throne room.

While Luna was saving Pip and The Forgemaster and Simba watched passively, Applejack and Twilight looked over their shoulders at Pinkie, who had once more entered the village after being run out of it by her own fright.

"Hey, gals. Anypony seen Pip?" Pinkie asked.

The Forgemaster muttered, "I'm a boy." But, as always, nobody listened to him.

He swore that one of these days he's going to jut change into a female and be that for the rest of eternity, then they couldn't make a mistake! Though that was probably the wrong way of going about things, that hadn't stopped him before!

Pinkie continued, "We lost him the last time we had to run..." then she squawked like a chicken when she saw Luna and Pip.

"Aaah! Nightmare Moon is gobbling Pipsqueak! Everypony run!" then she and the foals ran away… again.

It is getting to the point where they should expect her to run away every time she enters the area they are also in.

"Help!" Pip screamed, "My backside has been gobbled!"

The Forgemaster and Simba chuckled as he ran off, while Luna was less than pleased.

"'Tis a lie!" she yelled, not quite using the Royal Canterlot Voice yet, "Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful whelp!" when she stomped her hoof, a lightning bolt came down in the distance.

The villagers backed away from Luna, clearly afraid of her once more.

"Fair villagers, please do not back away." Luna pleaded, "Let us join together in... fun!" she had a fairly creepy grin going there at the end.

Luna looked around for something fun to do to get the villagers back on her side. She found it in the form of a spider directly beneath her, she picked it up and chucked it at the backing away villagers.

"Not enough fun for you?" she asked when there was no reaction, "What say you to this?" she cast a spell on the spider, making it come alive.

She then cast it on the rest of the spider in the bowl for them, making them come alive as well. They crawled out of their bowl and towards the villagers and the web.

Some crawled over the pony that had been operating the game, while the other climbed to the center of their web.

"Huzzah! How many points do I receive?" Luna ecstatically asked.

The ponies all freaked out and started fleeing and creaming, it was rather chaotic for a rustic village full of peaceful ponies. Ponies were colliding with themselves and objects, causing anything and everything to tumble through the air and onto the floor.

"Do not run away!" Luna yelled at their retreating forms, "As your princess we command you!"

And they still ran, and they still screamed.

The Forgemaster was rather annoyed, running and screaming ponies were the exact opposite of what he was trying to accomplish. Everyone knows that a likable guy, or in this case princess, does not cause everyone to flee from them.

Luna had finally had enough, she yelled as loudly as possible, "BE STILL!" with thunder and lightning and dark clouds, one would think that Luna was the goddess of storms and weather and not the Night.

And, as a child will listen more the louder their parents get, so did these ponies listen the louder Luna got.

As everything got silent, The Forgemaster remarked, "Holy shit Lulu: scary stuff." The only reason any could hear him was because everyone else had gotten silent.

Twilight stood and simultaneously saved his ass and gave her advice, "Princess, remember! Watch the screaming!"

"No, Twilight Sparkle! We must use the traditional royal Canterlot voice for what we are about to say." Hell, even Luna's eyes were scary, they were glowing bright white.

Luna started to hover, with the glowing eyes, and started creating storm clouds above Ponyville.

"Since you choose to fear your princess rather than love her, and dishonor her with this insulting celebration, we decree that Nightmare Night shall be canceled! Forever!" Luna screamed whilst hovering.

Luna then teleported away, canceling the cloud effects at the same time.

For a few minutes, all was silent and calm.

Then the tiny munchkin ponies all started crying and whining about how they won't get to experience Nightmare Night again.

And Applejack said, "Shoot. We had everything goin' our way. Luna was happy, everypony in town was happy, now look at 'em." She indicated said crying, baby, ponies.

One filly declared her want to be a zombie next year to her father, who was dressed as someone from Mortal Kombat, yet again most likely Pinkie's influence.

Twilight looked down and regained her resolve, "It's not over yet!" she declared.

The Forgemaster hoof pumped, "Yeah! Just a quick little illusion and their minds are mine to bend!"

His horn was just starting to glow when Twilight shouted, "NO!" like he was doing some awful and evil thing.

Sure he experimented on a live, rare, albino fox and gave the thing strange and random 'enhancements' on a whim, but does that, and trying to manipulate the masses to think like he wants them to, really make him a bad person?

Judging by Twilight's glare, yes, but The Forgemaster was pretty good at interpreting glares and he was 100% sure that she was mock glaring… Maybe like 98%... Still.

"No manipulating ponies' brains with magic!" she scolded.

"What are you gonna do?" Applejack asked Twilight, while also hopefully diverting or distracting her anger.

"I'm going to do what I do best." Twilight declared, while The Forgemaster groaned, "Lecture her!"

"I knew it!" he said, though Twilight ignored him. Simba sympathetically gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Then Twilight ran away, off to find the princess. The Forgemaster, having extensive experience with following things, people, animals, and houses that one time, took the much easier approach and went in the direction that Luna had gone. Not having feathers meant he couldn't fly, but he could still run.

Somehow, despite going a much shorter distance, he and Twilight still met up with Luna at the same time. B As it turns out, she had left to the bridge and was making her way across it slowly and sadly.

"Princess." Twilight began.

"Leave me be, Twilight Sparkle." Luna said mournfully.

"Princess. I'm sorry it hasn't worked out how we wanted." Twilight said, "But you have to believe me when I tell you that Nightmare Night is one of the most popular celebrations we have.

"Yes. I can tell." Luna replied with heavy sarcasm, "By all the adoring shrieks of the children as they run away."

He couldn't help himself; he giggled and was summarily glared at by a vengeful Twilight. Though she couldn't technically hit him, since that was Rainbow's job, she could still give a pretty mean glare by pony standards. The fact that standard pony glares are adorable never seemed to cross any of the ponies' minds when they glared at him.

Twilight then looked after Luna, staring with regret as she said, "Princess…"

Then Twilight hatched an idea, and ran back towards Ponyville.

10 minutes later, a Luna retrieval, an alley, a waste of some of his good candy, and they had a trap.

Though he couldn't help but point out the flaws, "Damnit Twilight, any one of the ponies could come by and eat the candy, why would it necessarily be Pinkie?" he said while behind the trash cans at the back of the alley with both her and Luna.

Twilight didn't immediately respond, mostly because they had just watched Pinkie swing by and devour, in a most unique manner, the candy at the front of the alley.

Pinkie then entered the alley and ate the candy, all aligned in a row. The fact that Pinkie didn't sense a trap gave The Forgemaster the thought that crime must be easy in Equestria.

By the fourth candy downed, Twilight ran into action. She tackled Pinkie and held her against the side of the alley with a hoof pressed into her mouth.

"No!" Twilight forcefully said, "No shrieking. No screaming or squealing either. Okay?"

Pinkie mumbled out what could have been an, "Okay."

The Forgemaster appeared from the darkness behind her and drily stated, "Congratulations Twilight, you are a rapist."

Twilight's eyes widened from the implications, and Pinkie's eyes widened because he materialized from the shadows like a ghost, despite having flames in parts of his body.

"Shut up!" Twilight shamefully yelled, she then turned back to Pinkie and continued, "There's something I want you to see. And I promise that it's safe, but you really, really, really can't shriek. Do you promise not to shriek?"

Pinkie nodded in the affirmative. Twilight then released her and back off to stand next to The Forgemaster.

She glanced down the alley as Luna appeared from the darkness at the back of the alley, her cue having been Pinkie agreeing.

Pinkie freaked out for a moment and started to squawk like a chicken, but forced her own mouth closed with her hooves, successfully following direction.

"Pinkie Pie, you remember Princess Luna, right?" Twilight asked with a grin.

"Ah. The ringleader of the frightened children." Luna began, "Hast thou come to make peace?" she asked with a shy smile, she also held out a hoof for a hoof shake.

The Forgemaster wasn't paying attention, however, as he had sensed Rainbow's approach and watched her hover the cloud over Luna. The resulting lightning flash startled Pinkie enough to make her flee for her life, calling out, "Nightmare Moon!" as she fled.

She also laid an egg.

Rainbow was laughing uproariously at the admittedly funny scene. Twilight attempted to admonish her, but was forced to teleport to recapture Pinkie.

Rainbow fled before she could be caught, so The Forgemaster trotted slowly over to Twilight and Pinkie, and found them in a compromising position.

"See Twilight? " He began, "Rapist."

She glared at him, "Shut up!" before returning her attention to the struggling Pinkie and finishing what she had been saying, "And she definitely doesn't want to gobble you up!"

Pinkie froze and looked up at Twilight before rolling her eyes and saying, "Well duh."

"Huh?" was Twilight's intelligent response.

"I know that. Sheesh, Twilight. I'm almost as big as her. How's she gonna gobble me up?" Hmm… was Pinkie being serious for the first time?

"So why do you keep running away and screaming?" Twilight asked indignantly.

"Sometimes it's just really fun to be scared." Pinkie declared.

The Forgemaster face-hoofed.

"Fun?" Twilight asked, incredulous, "Pinkie Pie, you're a genius!"

"No I'm not, " she replied, quick as a whip, "I'm a chicken! Bkaw!"

Twilight ran towards the princess, who was pouting silently at the end of th alley.

"Princess Luna! I've finally figured out why you're having so much trouble being liked!"

"Forgive me if I withhold my enthusiasm." Luna replied sardonically.

"Come with me. I'll explain everything on the way." Twilight ordered.

So they followed her, and it was boring.

They just walked around and had some ponies send the tiny ponies towards the Nightmare Moon statue to offer their candy. Zecora, Mayor Mare, and Applejack were sent out to help gather the children. Of course they had to make Luna agree to the 'plan' if it culd be called that, that whole process was an adventure unto itself.

But The Forgemaster didn't get a job so he just leaned against the statue.

So the kids came by and 'offered' their candy, thankfully sparing what was left of his own.

They were all sad and mournfully wished for another Nightmare Night.

Just as the tiny ponies were walking away, Luna was given her cue in the form of The Forgemaster kicking the as of the statue she was standing on. A simple illusion and some patience let Luna go undetected.

"Citizens of Ponyville!" Luna yelled in the Royal Canterlot Voice, "You were wise to bring these candies to me. I am pleased with your offering. So pleased that I may just eat it... instead of eating you!"

She even had all of the bells and whistles, angry winds, stormy sky, glowing eyes, etc, etc.

At the end, Luna revealed herself in a transformed state, she was Nightmare Moon. She couldn't get the teeth right, so she was given some vampire teeth.

Oh, The Forgemaster was having a good day. Though, Luna was a bit hesitant, scaring anything was always fun for him.

"I am not certain that did what you meant for it to do, Twilight Sparkle." Luna said after she was done, now in her normal body.

"Just wait." Twilight confidently said.

"For what? For... for them to scream some more?" Luna asked, but was abruptly cut off as Pip pulled her mane!

Holy sweet mother of Satan, that kid has some balls.

"Um... Princess Luna." Pip began, "I know there's not gonna be any more Nightmare Night, but do you suppose maybe you could come back next year and scare us again anyway?"

"Child. Art thou saying that thou... likest me to scare you?" Luna asked, incredulous.

"It's really fun! Scary, but fun." Pip explained.

"It... is?" Luna asked, still unbelieving.

"Yeah! Nightmare Night is my favorite night of the year." Pip said.

"Well then. We shall have to bring, "she switched to her Royal Voice, "Nightmare Night back!"

"Whoa! You're my favorite princess ever!" Pip declared, he then hugged Luna around the legs, he then ran off towards his friends in the bushes, "She said yes, guys!" then they all cheered.

The Forgemaster grinned as much as he could with an immobile skull, though considering that skulls always look like they are smiling, it worked slightly well.

"Looks like Lulu got a new fan~" he jokingly said.

"See? They really do like you, princess." Twilight explained.

"Can it be true?" Luna asked, daring to hope, she continued in her Royal tone, "Oh, most wonderful of...!" she caught herself and continued normally, "I mean... Oh, most wonderful of nights."

And then they went back to Ponyville, and thoroughly enjoyed their night.

Hell, Twilight even got a letter out of it!

wWwWwWw

Later that night.

"Dude, Princess Luna scared the buck out of me!" Rainbow yelled.

"Yeah, she told me that." The Forgemaster replied.

She laughed, "She turned the tables on me! But I'll get her next year!"

He grinned, "Hopefully. We can also hope that Simba won't eat himself into a coma next time."

She grinned, looking at his back from which a comatose Simba hung, "Yeah, poor guy almost ate until he burst!"

He and she were both out of costume, though she still wore hers from the neck down. It was basically morning, but since most ponies stayed out this late, even the children, nothing much tomorrow will be expected to get done.

He opened the door to his home and held the door for Rainbow to walk in. She did and he followed. He quickly tossed Simba onto the couch.

He sat down next to him, "I wonder if I should get a stomach pump for him, I'm not entirely sure he can eat chocolate."

She sat down on the other side, "I'm sure he'll be fine, I've seen him eat weirder stuff than just chocolate."

He nodded, completely agreeing with her in every way possible. Simba did like to eat random things, and due to his enhanced stomach he could digest it all. But chocolate might be poisonous. Enhanced stomach he may have, but chocolate was an unknown.

Rainbow yawned, "We'll take him to Fluttershy in the morning, but I want to sleep now."

"Yeah, me too." He agreed.

She stood up and walked up the stairs to the bedroom, almost falling asleep with each step she took. He followed after her, perfectly fine with staying awake for hours longer than necessarily healthy. He was in 'Nam, damnit! He didn't have time to sleep!

Shaking his head to clear the unwanted memories, The Forgemaster climbed into bed. His wonderfully soft cloud bed. It took skill to get a cloud in his room, but between the Captain of the weather team and himself, it went off without a hitch. He knew that Rainbow loved it, besides; clouds are one of the best materials. They're basically like memory foam mattresses of the sky!

She was in the bed opposite him, and gently sighed when she lay down on the bed.

She quickly snuggled up against him.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I…" he hesitated.

A million memories went through his mind:

"Only alone can you truly succeed. You can't betray yourself, after all."

"The ties that bind leave the cruelest of scars."

"You don't think or feel with your heart, it pumps blood – that's it."

"Love, it eventually leads to betrayal then scorn, hate, and anger until anger becomes fury, and fury becomes revenge. And nothing good ever comes from revenge, thus, nothing good ever comes from love."

He brought himself gently out of the maelstrom of the memories. He tried again.

"I… I love you too, Dashie." He finally said.

She snuggled closer to him, and he wrapped a convenient limb around her.

(A/N – Woo! Also: 12 grand word count!)

Chapter 70

(A/N – if you see anything about snow, I apologize. I started making this about a prelude to Winter Wrap Up but then realized that autumn came first. Duh. Sorry.)

The Forgemaster was walking through the town of Ponyville on an annoyingly sudden fall's afternoon. Apparently, the day after Nightmare Night is also a holiday; all ponies are given the day off that day. The reason is most likely because of the previous night's events, staying up past 4 will do that to you. Regardless, the day after that every single tree had changed the color of the leaves on their branches, it got really cool, and ponies were jumping into piles of leaves.

Equestria has (apparently) incredibly sudden season changes: 1st day, Nightmare Night and comfortably warm, 2nd day, holiday and comfortably warm, 3rd day, all the leaves are orange and brown and it is nearly freezing in temperature. And all the damn ponies had asked why he dressed up in a large coat! Just because he didn't have a nice warm coat (of fur) makes him the target of all the ponies' unknowing racism. Ponies can be quite racist without realizing it. Though winter was The Forgemaster's favorite season, mainly due to the cold, and fall was his second favorite for the same reason, the sudden shift left his body reeling: seasons are supposed to take weeks to change! It happened so fast, and then the ponies acted like it was normal for season to change in a day. Ponies are weird. And racist.

Seriously, the weather thing was kind of confusing. It meant a few possible things, all of which more confusing than the last. Number 1 was magic, obviously. You'll find that when you work with magic, the laws of physics are more like… general guidelines. Second was that the planet had no rotation, though that would probably just cause a lack of seasons it would also explain why the sun went around the planet instead of the other way around, Celestia's magic counteracted gravity. Third was that the core of the planet wasn't molten anymore. That opened an entire box of impossibilities. So yeah, the answer was magic.

Anyways, he had discovered a wonderfully new thing, albeit old, about ponies that he had noticed but only recently came to his attention. He had thought that previous songs and the accompanying dancing were mostly due to Pinkie's influence, but in fact, ponies are instinctually required to automatically enter into any song. So long as any song you sing is both upbeat and positive, ponies are genetically required to sing and dance along, even if they have never before heard the song, even if they do not want to, and even if they are old and they might throw out a hip or something. But the best part is: not even the ponies themselves were aware of it!

And oh, it was wonderful.

The Forgemaster was walking down the streets of Ponyville, merrily (as merrily as he could) singing and watching with an almost sadistic glee as every single pony joined in, even those not known for their singing or their dancing. The forced smiles on their faces did nothing to hide the confusion and fear held in their eyes. Yes, fear; if you had been walking down the street and suddenly and inexplicably thrust into a song and dance routine you've never done, seen, or heard of in all your life, and for the life of you, and all your friends who have also joined in, cannot stop: it'd be terrifying. Pinkie was the only one who fully embraced the forced singing and dancing, the glee in her eyes obvious to all, even if the joy was also terrifying. Pinkie had to be hedonistic, she takes joy in everything she does and that is one, if not the, defining characteristic of a hedonistic individual.

Accompanied by a chorus of unwilling ponies, The Forgemaster sang:

"Do you believe in magic, in a young girl's heart?

How the music can free her, whenever it starts?

And it's magic, if the music is groovy,

It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie!

I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul,

But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock and roll!"

It was fantastic! Every single pony sang and danced with the correct pitch, timing, and step as though they had rehearsed it for years before hand: a perfect rendition of any master choreographer being played out seemingly spontaneously, while they simultaneously sang the words as if they had heard the song every day of their lives since birth.

Every time he went out for supplies whether it be food, metal, or just getting out of the house, the ponies would all sing and dance on command! It was like he was a puppet master and they were dancing on his strings! Muahahaha!

Sadism probably played a large part in his utter and complete joy at doing this, but he wasn't really hurting them so it was kind of hard to tell.

He continued to sing:

"If you believe in magic don't bother to choose!

If it's jug band music or rhythm and blues,

Just go and listen it'll start with a smile,

It won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try,

Your feet start tapping and you can't seem to find,

How you got there, so just blow your mind!

If you believe in magic, come along with me,

We'll dance until morning 'til there's just you and me,

And maybe, if the music is right,

I'll meet you tomorrow, sort of late at night,

And we'll go dancing, baby, then you'll see!

How the magic's in the music and the music's in me!

Yeah, do you believe in magic?

Yeah, believe in the magic of a young girl's soul!

Believe in the magic of rock and roll!

Believe in the magic that can set you free!

Ohh, talking 'bout magic!

Do you believe like I believe? Do you believe in magic?

Do you believe like I believe? Do you believe, believer?

Do you believe like I believe? Do you believe in magic?"

(A/N - by The Lovin' Spoonful.)

Ah, forced musicals on a population of cheery, colorful, talking horses. If that wasn't something that one could sit back and say, 'That's it, my life is complete.' Then I don't know what is.

The song ended just as The Forgemaster reached his destination: Rarity's boutique.

He left quite a few ponies in the street just finishing their dance routine as though nothing had happened. He would probably have to cut back on it before they ban him from singing. Forcing an entire village to dance to your tune (literally) is not something they appreciate. Except for Pinkie.

A shipment of assorted precious gems and metals just came in courtesy of Rarity's business contacts and The Forgemaster's coin. Due to their previous business arrangement, both were rich enough to live the rest of their lives, and most of the Afterlife, in complete comfort and their fortune was growing every day. But as every rich person will tell you: being rich does not give you permission to make stupid business decisions. Therefore, The Forgemaster got his goods on the cheap.

As it turns out, anything that Humans considered basic technology was revolutionary to the ponies, and they whole-heartedly accepted them and bought them en mass. It was perfect for those who could capitalize on it (i.e.: The Forgemaster) and the ponies certainly appreciated the tech. He wasn't about to let them have guns though. That was just a head-ache he didn't need. In Human history, the moment guns were invented all of the honor that was previously in warfare disappeared. Instead of smallish conflicts with men armed with swords would fight each other like men, whole armies could be conscripted to reload their muskets and level and fire, that's all they needed to know. Hell, even bows and arrows needed extensive training to use it correctly, and armies passed it by even though it was far superior to early firearms. They passed it by because having a thousand conscripts with muskets was more effective than 10 soldiers with bows and arrows. It caused a whole heap of deaths, millions actually, and it was mostly just civilians that were given a weapon, not soldiers trained and disciplined in battle. Truly annoying. The fun of warfare was destroyed by guns.

Anyway, Rarity's Boutique.

The reason behind his obtaining of a large supply of precious metals and gems was simple. Captain Shiny Git and Princess Love-you-long-time are getting married. When, where, why, and how he did not know, but if you've ever gotten jewel-encrusted sword as an engagement present, you would know why The Forgemaster is making one for Shining Armor.

That being said, The Forgemaster was interested in Princes Cadance. She had a few… discrepancies and talents that confused and intrigued The Forgemaster. Number 1 and chief of them all; the girl wasn't immortal. She's an alicorn and not immortal, therefore: alicorns are not born immortal, from that can be deduced that something must have happened to Celly and Lulu to make them immortal. That's all well and good, and where the majority of his interest lay, but she had a few more qualities that he pondered upon.

For instance, she was especially talented in love. Whatever that meant. There are many forms of love: familial love, the love friends share, intimate love, romantic love, etc. Was she talented at one of these or all of them? Clearly, it required more study. That's why he invited them over for dinner tonight, partly to study her and ask questions, and partly to congratulate the 2 of them. Of course, Rainbow was going to be there, she had invited herself and The Forgemaster couldn't bring himself to refuse her, whether that was because he was a good person (fat chance) or that Rainbow was a very threatening individual remained to be seen.

While we are on the subject of love, I suppose the ramifications of him telling Rainbow that he loved her should be told. Apparently it was some major accomplishment for Rainbow, who knew?

Anyways, the next day, the one between Nightmare Night and autumn, Pinkie threw a party for him, Rainbow, and the other 4 mares, because it's just not a party without all of her friends. Totally, completely, weird. But, Rainbow seemed to love it, Pinkie seemed to love it, like she does most things, Rarity seemed to love it, mares and their emotions… Rarity got all teary eyed. When The Forgemaster was questioned as to why he didn't see this as important, the response, 'Only females have emotions, they come from their ovaries.' Did NOT go over well. The explanation that it was more of a private affair in human culture was taken much better by the mares.

But Fluttershy was best; she offered the most congratulations and the most valuable gift, and acted so cute that The Forgemaster literally had to restrain himself from cooing. Amen, I say to you; 'He who does not love and adore Fluttershy should be hanged from the tallest trees and stoned with the sharpest rocks. For God hates those who don't love Her.' Gospel of Forgey, chapter 1, verse 1, the shortest books of the Bible, and the shortest book of all time.

The gifts were as follows: 1 party and extra large cake made of hearts from Pinkie, 1 book on pony love techniques called the 'Ponysutra' from a terribly blushing Twilight, 2 tickets for a free entry to the spa with the best treatment from Rarity, 1 apple tree from Applejack as though it were creative, and 1 hug from Fluttershy; it was enough.

And The Forgemaster sat there in his chair with a glass of anything alcoholic in his hand just staring off into the distance. Until Rainbow made him participate.

Hell hath no fury like Rainbow every day, any day.

(A/N – just realized that I've been leaving you hanging for about a month, again. I'm so incredibly sorry! I don't mean to, honest! I just get caught up with other things and I can't get to this, and when I do the spark isn't there! Therefore; this small chapter will have to be put up ASAP.)

(EXTRA SPECIAL A/N!: those individuals looking to use The Forgemaster or Broken Bulb/Shattered Globe for any story of theirs need but ask and I shall let you. For Oplindenfep is a gracious and benevolent despot.)

Chapter 71

Dinner parties are generally boring. However, when one has something to gain they can become quite interesting indeed. Over the course of his life, The Forgemaster has made and lost fortunes, earned glory on the field of battle, obtained grand titles signifying his deeds, and thoroughly pissed off the entire nation of Zimbabwe, all of these things are lost to the sands of time, and eventually become meaningless. However, the only thing that retains value, and in some cases increases in value, is knowledge. The sum total of the things he has earned through his vast knowledge and intelligence greatly outweighs his earnings through brute force alone.

This is the reason for the dinner party; to satisfy the craving for knowledge that drives him. He decided to meet with the subject of his curiosity: Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, roughly translated as 'Princess I love everything', though she prefers Cadance. He invited Princess Lovey Dovey and her hubby Shiny Whiny, in the interests of knowledge. And of course, Rainbow had invited herself along, though he didn't mind that at all. Simba would also be there, but honestly what else could he do? The dinner party was one of the best ways he had thought of to learn about the Princess. He could have used other methods but this was the best option, in his personal opinion.

-Ask Sunbutt or Woona? Second hand information, clouded by bias and familiarity. Luna might not even be aware of the girl.

-Consult a glossary? Not all things in books are true, and there are some things that cannot be written down but have just as much significance.

-Newspaper or magazine? Clearly biased information, gossip, rumor, nothing real or tangible.

-Spy on her? He was busy, damnit! He can't go and spy on every other thing he is mildly interested in! He has people for that. And they would be confused by him ordering them to spy on the Lovey girl.

-Abduct subject and torture until curiosity sated? Well, that's not very civilized is it? Who just goes around torturing people and ponies just for their jollies?  Sick bastards, that's who!

-Meet her himself and ask questions? Good method, though has some drawbacks, subject may not appreciate questioning. Also: rude, walking up to an individual you don't know and asking them questions. Reminded him of his CIA days. Ah... fuck you too Castro.

-Meet her himself and invite to dinner? Best method, encourages friendship, friendship can be used later.

Course, a dinner party requires preparation.

His personal appearance didn't change much for the dinner. Ponies barely seemed to smell any body odor, for some weird reason, but he showered just in case. He dressed in his usual clothes, with his usual haircut. All very normal. He briefly considered putting make up on his face to match the Joker's, but after considerable thought, he eventually decided against it.

Then Rainbow Dash, for the first time ever, actually brushed her mane. Since I don't think you fully grasped the significance of that statement, I'm going to write it again, with bold, underline, IN ALL CAPS, and italics, and then tell you the significance of that statement.

She BRUSHED HER MANE!!!

Yeah, she's never brushed her mane, as far as he could tell. Occasionally, he brushed it for her when they laid down on the couch (she melted like butter into his hands) but she quickly mussed her mane up before anyone could see. Honest to Sweet Baby Jesus, she looked beautiful with a brushed mane, but it went against her 'awesome' style, so she just had to put a stop to that. Didn't stop her from strutting about with it inside the house for a few minutes though, he even caught her looking into the mirror with a small, heartfelt smile on her face. Truly adorable.

Where was I?

Oh yeah: Dashie!

She brushed her mane, but insisted on being naked.

(Most ponies do that, though The Forgemaster really thinks that they're all just exhibitionists. Seriously; he told Twilight, but she just said that their tails covered anything private. Yeah: that's a lie, he walked around town as 'Little Red' a few times and literally saw plot abound. He wondered how Spike dealt with it, being at that height all the damn time. Normal teenagers, and the guy was like 11 or something and that's damned well old enough, would have loved to be in Spike's claw things. Poor guy probably had either a severe asexuality complex, great self-control, or just didn't see ponies as attractive. All viable reasons, of course, but the last one was probably wrong seeing as he lusts after Rarity like a love-sick... dragon, and he really didn't have much self-control... and if he lusts after Rarity like aforementioned love sick dragon, that doesn't make him asexual. Okay, new theory: Spike's weird. He's a bloody weird bastard that doesn't get randy at the sight of female genitals. Gentlemen: he must be culled from the herd. No weakness. No mercy.)

Back to this other less funny stuff:

Oh well, it's not like it was a formal event or anything... did he stress that in the invitation? He hoped so. His normal attire could be considered causal or semi-formal, but if they showed up in their full 'princess and her boy' regalia, he and they would feel awkward.

Then there's food:

Preparation for a meal is simple. Especially pony meals as many of their acceptable dishes need no cooking. In fact, many of the ingredients in pony food can literally be found within 3 feet of his door. Grasses, dandelions, assorted flowers, stuff he would consider to be literally 'the dirt beneath his feet'. But ponies seemed to love the stuff, for some weird, herbivorous reason. Truly, the day he gave up meat for these ponies would be the day he died. And dying hurt, he came close once or twice before, and he didn't personally care for it.

For his meal, just as a social experiment, (The Forgemaster was all about efficiency, combining 2 experiments into 1 being a prime example of this), he decided to eat some meat. Preferably cold chile. Mostly because... if it's cold they can't smell it and it really doesn't look like meat. Rainbow... was uncomfortable with his eating meat, but she and her old friend Gilda have eaten together, going to the same flight camp and all, so Rainbow wasn't as skittish as she might have been. The Shiny git would probably be horrified, or something herbivorous (Note: describing natural pony instincts as 'herbivorous' is fun.), but restrain himself, he knew about his... meaty habits and had some semblance of self-discipline. And the Princess... he honestly didn't know how she would react.

He found that he could really only hunt and kill a few types of critters in the Everfree, the only normal forest on the planet. Manticores, cockatrices, hydra, those timber-wolves (But they were wood! He's not about to go and hunt down a wolf to eat wood when he can just go gnaw on a tree) ... and that's really the entire list. Anything else might be one of Fluttershy's friends, and he would never hurt her in such a way. EVER. He would rather be gelded with a rusty spoon. That actually sounded like something the Inquisition would do... and no one ever expected those guys. Hell, it wouldn't surprise him if one showed up in Equestria, would be damned confusing and he certainly wouldn't have expected it, but not surprising.

Anyway, fun times are coming.

For instance, there were 2 ponies at his door. Now what in the hell do you think they're doing here?

I asked a damn question!!!

a) they're girl scouts selling cookies.

b) they're murderous murderers looking to murder him.

c) they're the love princess and her boy.

d) they're aliens!!!!

Let's see what the answer is!

He casually stood up from the couch, where Rainbow had been getting some last minute belly (bewwy) rubs (wubs) in, and walked over to the door. Rainbow was upset and voiced her complaints by growling at him when he tried to stop, but she let him leave after only a moment.

Believe it or not, Rainbow Dash was actually a very loving and tender individual, in private of course. While she is not prone to public displays of affection, in public she kept up the ruse that The Forgemaster and Crimson Hammer were different people, but in private she had no qualms about showing her feelings.  She enjoyed tackling The Forgemaster as soon as he entered the door, if at all possible. She enjoys sitting on his lap on the couch, while he gently rubs her back, or her chest, or her head. She closes her eyes and sinks into it, she even does this cute little growl in the back of her throat when she is handled in such a way, it's actually quite adorable, especially since she doesn't know she does it. They also occasionally preen each others wings. He honestly had no idea how to do it at first, but Rainbow showed him the correct way to go about it. And because he has hands and the dexterity that comes with them, preening his and her wings is much faster than if Rainbow tried to do it herself.

It is a bonding experience between them, and Rainbow certainly enjoys it. In fact, she may have permanently made him her primary napping location, ever since she discovered how comfortable he was.

Of course, there is no TV in Equestria, fortunately or unfortunately depending on your viewpoint, so he occupied his time on the couch with mindless newspaper reading, sometimes a book. In fact, since telling Twilight anything and everything about the Human race was getting rather tedious, he has started to write his own book on the subject. He called it “The Forgemaster's Big Book Of Everything Ever, a Perspective On How Amazing Humans Are At Everything.” It is, admittedly, a grandiose title, but it was literally everything the Human species have done since civilization started and The Forgemaster took pride in his species, no matter how stupid they could be. He was going to enjoy comparing it to the ponies' history. Sure ponies' were more friendly, but that made them weak! (Allegedly)(And not Celestia, she could kick his ass if she committed herself, though he could even the odds with some experience, she still controlled the bloody sun!) Humans rape the planet because it is too weak to defend itself, duh. Humans win, all the damn time. Only bosses would think that having enough nuclear bombs to destroy the planet many, many times over would ensure peace. Ha! He's so putting that in the book. Gods Bless The Human Race.

He sighed, Twilight's probably going to yell at him... at least he didn't put his commentary in the book, that would be rude.

He was already on chapter 285: The Early Romans. He would be further along, but he was also writing a similar book on Human anatomy and psychology. Have you ever tried making a rendition of the human body perfectly and without mistakes from memory alone? It was hard. The Forgemaster had a photographic memory, but even photo's can dim with time. However, Twilight might very well crush him to death with a super-atomic hug if he gets it done in time for Christmas, and that may very well be worth it: it is a very pleasant way to die.

Quick side note: screw Hearth's Warming Eve, it's Christmas damnit! He was planning on dressing up as Santa and everything... A giant, super buff, Santa... The idea seems terrifying. He'd make it work though. Perhaps he should make a flying sleigh... he could make some of the guards be Dasher, Blitzen, Rudolph, etc, etc, and he could deliver presents to all the little foals that way! Oh, that would be so cool! He could start an entirely new Christmas/Hearth's Warming Eve tradition, one based on facts! On him!

The guards would probably hate him though...

Where was I?

I'm getting distracted too much today...

Here we are:

He approached the door with some trepidation: one never knows what's on the other side of a door... unless it's a glass door I suppose.

He opened the door and the sight that greeted his eyes pleasured him greatly!

Girl scout cookies!!!

Well there were also girls scout (filly scouts) selling the things, but they weren't nearly as important.

Girl Scout COOKIES!!!

He promptly ordered 2 boxes of his favorites: everything but the nasty ones.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!!!

RAGE!!!!

If you answered A, you get a girl scout cookie of your choice, the haul is rather large. If you answered anything else: I am disappoint.

a) they're girl scouts selling cookies.

b) they're murderous murderers looking to murder him.

c) they're the love princess and her boy.

d) they're aliens!!!!

He took the multiple boxes in his telekinetic grip and promptly shut the door in the girls scouts' faces, after grossly over-paying them by several hundred bits. He tossed one box of each type of cookie vaguely in Dashie's direction and set the rest down in front of the door to his armory, that is conveniently located in his dining room. He unlocked the various locks: the normal locks, the magical locks, the electric lock, the Jewish locks, the booby trap, the headless reanimated corpse of Abraham Lincoln, and the moat. He threw the boxes inside the room, and then shut the door and reengaged the various locks and traps.

His precious is safe... until he gets hungry.

That being said, he had to save a few from Rainbow's gaping maw before it mangled any more of the sweet treats. Seriously: like 3 seconds went by and 5 cookies were gone, and they were the awesome chocolate coated kind with peanut butter and sprinkles!

As he saved the last of the cookies from the terror that is Rainbow Dash's mouth (Seriously, does she even know where she puts that thing!? He certainly did. And it was not meant to go near food, I can tell you that much.), he said to her, “Bad Dashie, you'll spoil your appetite.”

He then lightly bopped her on the head. Lightly.

“You were the one who threw them at me!” she proclaimed in her defense.

“But does that give you license to eat them?”

“I assumed 'yeah', so I ate them.” she said.

He grinned mischievously, “Why Dashie, that's a pretty big word!”

“What? 'Assumed'?” she snorted, “Not that big, and if it was then I'd blame your influence.” Rainbow replied with a grin, not having any of his bullshit.

He pouted to the extent that a grown man with severe emotional issues could, but didn't pursue the matter.

He went into the kitchen: the food was already done but he had yet to move it onto the table. He threw the food towards the dining table, and let his magic do the rest by making it land safely. Surely the 2 missing individuals would be the next to knock on the door?

He went back into the dining room, to see Rainbow with a frown sitting on the couch.

Hmm, that's never good. Seeing Rainbow with a frown was like seeing Pinkie without a smile: it foreshadows severe heavy shit.

Dashie looked up into his eyes from across the room and softly asked, “What if she doesn't like me?”

Oh great, Dashie's going all insecure.

Note: Dashie acts super-confident all the time and she usually is, but sometimes it's just a mask to hide her inner turmoil. She usually hides it poorly, to be honest, but sometimes you can never quite tell... The only time she would ever reveal her insecurities was when she was alone with someone (pony) she knew she could absolutely trust. Emphasis on 'alone' because Dashie doesn't do personal stuff very well with groups outnumbering her eyeballs. That being 2, counting herself.

And since she wouldn't leave him alone, despite him being well, you know... him, he was occasionally contractually obligated to soothe her emotional woes.

“Dashie, I'm sure she'll like you: her name literally translates to 'Princess I Love Everything'.” he tried to be as understanding as he could, but he was never very good at emotional stuff either.

His idea of solving emotional issues usually resulted in massive alcohol/cocaine binges.

He was never very good with 'empathy', it was really just something he wasn't born with. Of course, he could still do it if he tried, but it took some doing.

He decided on what would best fix this situation: to make Rainbow Dash cease being insecure, you have to both appeal to her pride, and say something positive. Funny works too. Shocking too, though not the electric type: she was almost immune to electric shock.

To this end, he draped a hand on her shoulders and said, “Dashie, no matter how awesome or how great a person you are, someone is always gonna hate on you. So what do you do? Laugh, and continue to be awesome.”

She chuckled slightly, SUCCESS!

“Besides of which, I know that she'll like you just fine.” he paused for a bit, “By the way, she's coming here with Captain Shining Armor, her fiance. No pressure, he's a cool guy. Though his shield spell is pink for some reason, and hardly at all manly.”

She chuckled some more, mostly due to his rambling. EPIC SUCCESS!

“DING DONG MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!” came an epically loud voice from the doorway.

He chuckled as Rainbow's eyebrows shot into her hairline, and a big grin split her lips.

He quickly moved over to the door and opened it.

The sight of a horrified/scandalized Shining Armor and Cadance was something he would treasure for the rest of his days.

Jaw down, eyebrows up, eyes wide: the very picture of WTF?

Ah, good times.

Shining Armor gasped and came into himself, “Wha- What was that!?” he asked, breathlessly.

“That was the doorbell.” he answered simply.

More wide-eyed staring from the good Captain.

The epic laughter from both inside the house and beside him knocked Shining Armor out of his stupor.

His wife-to-be was laughing at him. Hard. So was Rainbow, but that was to be expected.

The Forgemaster grinned, 'So she's one of those princesses...' he thought.

That kind of princess being the cool kind that isn't a stuck-up son of a sodomite. Then again, he never got the vibe from her that she was, of course he had never really interacted with her outside of introducing the Shiny One to her, but that was really it. Heck, she even came in pony casual: naked.

“Why would you have... that as your doorbell?” he asked.

He shrugged, “For funsies.”

Chapter 72

The Forgemaster invited the still sputtering Shining Armor into the house, and then gallantly proclaimed to the rest of the living room that 'Her Royal Highness has graced their poor sanctuary with her most benevolent presence'. Princess Cadence quickly assumed her role in the play that was The Forgemaster's bullshit, and gracefully entered the room with a poise and elegance that only born rulers had. She held her head high and closed her eyes in a stunning impersonation (Imponyation?) of a pompous, arrogant ass-hat as she walked, stiff legged, to the dining table.

She assumed her place at the table, and awaited another to push her chair in, which The Forgemaster stepped in to do. Shining Armor took the open seat, Rainbow was already in her's, and Simba was... somewhere...

The Forgemaster draped a white linen towel over his forearm and held the arm over his stomach. He approached her from the side and said in a dry, English accent, “What will madam be having this evening?”

Of course, the food was actually on the table already, but Princess Cadence still played her part, “I would like a hay and cheese sandwich, accompanied with a salad and garnished with wheat. For my beverage, I would enjoy a nice bottle of fine wine. And perhaps a small selection of cinnamon sticks, and perhaps a pastry.”

As previously stated, all of the food was already on the table. The cinnamon sticks, the 'pastries', which were really just cupcakes, the salad, the wine, even the sandwiches. Cadance just picked out food options from the table.

Nevertheless, The Forgemaster bowed and said, “Of course madam, your meal shall be ready presently.”

He then reached over and placed the foods she had asked for on her plate.  He religiously ignored Shining Armor questioning glance and tried not sweating under Rainbow's very obvious glare. He had not treated her in the same manner, but then again, she did not come to his house as a princess and go along with his bullshit, so fair's fair.

He then retreated to the safety of his own chair (Rainbow was trying to burn him alive with her eyes! Her adorable, adorable eyes!). He looked up across the table and noted Princess Cadence’s good table manners: she had yet to touch her meal while the others were waiting to be served. He was, however, not going to serve them. They had arm, er, hoof things, they could get their own food.

He graciously allowed Shining Armor and Rainbow to pile their plates with food before beginning to eat his own meal. While all present were busy eating their meal, The Forgemaster took upon the great responsibility of making the meal a social event rather than a boring Tuesday. That meant conversation, usually of the bland, self-defeating kind that no one wants to continue after a while because it just gets awkward.

“I suppose introductions are in order.” The Forgemaster began, dropping the accent, “But you already know each other.”

Cadence sighed, “I suppose that does ruin the purpose of introductions.”

The Forgemaster nodded, “Too true.”

Silence reigned, broken only by the sounds of utensils clanging against dishes. It was getting unbearable, after only a few seconds. Centuries taught patience, but he wanted his precious now!

“So Cadence... what is it that you do, exactly?” The Forgemaster carefully asked.

Cadence looked up from her meal, “Well... I’m a princess.”

“Yes, yes, I know.” he said impatiently, “But what exactly do you do?”

After a moment, Rainbow cut in, “I think he's asking what your special talent is.”

She blinked in realization, “Oh, well, my special talent is love. Spreading it, sharing it, strengthening it.”

He nodded excitedly, “What kind of love?”

“Oh, all kinds.” she smiled proudly.

His sudden goofy grin wasn't lost on her. She sighed and mumbled, “Yes, even that kind of love.”

His grin only grew, “So, you're a lo~ve spreadin' kind of girl... I like that.” He paused for a few moments, and put a hand to his chin in thought, “At the risk of sounding crass, how freaky does it get?”

“Excuse me?” Hehe, them wide eyes looked so cute...

“You know... Bananas and Cream... Bury the Bone, Dip your Stinger in Honey, the Mattress Jig, the Beast with 2 Backs, or 1 as traditional pony love would be. C'mon, you've probably heard these ones before...”

Cadence groaned... as did Shining, but Rainbow chuckled (It used to say giggle, but was changed under threat of assault by a poly-chromatic pegasus).

Cadence said, “Yes, I've heard some o-”

“Dirty Work at the Crossroads, Do the Nasty, Fit End to End, Fix her Plumbing, the Four-Legged Frolic, Get Jack in the Orchard... I bet Applejack would love, or more likely hate, that one. Park Your Yacht in Hair Harbor, Get Your Oil Changed, a Hot Roll with Cream, Mix Your Peanut Butter, Play Hide the Bone, Polish Your Rocket, Roasting the Broomstick, Shoot Between Wind and Water, Squat Jumps in the Cucumber Patch, The Disappearing Cane Trick, Tooling in the Woods, Tops and Bottoms-”

“Enough!” Shiny and Cadence yelled at the same time, both thoroughly upset with his constant euphemisms.

“I'm sure that you're all very enthusiastic about what my job can sometimes entail. But, I never really have to use that side of my abilities, more usually inspiring love will lead to the... other matters.” Cadence explained.

“But you still have to use them sometimes, right?” The Forgemaster asked.

She sighed, “Sometimes, yes, but only on the very shy or very prudish.”

He nodded understandingly, “Yeah, I know what you mean. You have to be careful with love though, you never really want a love potion to end up in the city's municipal water system. Thankfully, the water diluted the potion, though the entire city turned into an orgy for a few hours... At least it wasn't permanent. In hindsight, I really shouldn't have followed Batman down there, especially not with a super-concentrated love potion. Why did I have a super-concentrated love potion you ask? Well... I’m not quite sure... It was just a passing whim, to do it solely to see if could. As I understand it, I was a wanted criminal in Gotham when they found out. A healthy donation to the city and a promise not to release any of the videos I took was all I needed to do to get out of that one. Ah, good times. Bats hated me for a little while after that. It's not like he started having sex in the middle of the streets, so why is he complaining? Of course, the sudden population spike 9 months later, and the subsequent push for a larger and more advanced maternity ward, was completed unconnected.” he completed his tale with a flourish of his hands.

“You certainly have your stories, don't you sir?” Shining Armor asked.

“Eeeyup.” he drawled out, then he barked out a laugh, “Looks like you landed a great girl, Shiny! I wish-” he stopped when he saw the literal death in Rainbow's eyes. But it was adorable.

The Shiny Git blushed, “I know, she's too good for me.”

The Forgemaster sighed, “I remember being young and... actually I don't remember being young and in love. I remember being old and in love. That was the best, because I could have sex. And drugs and, coincidentally, rock 'n roll.” he nodded sagely, as though he had revealed a great truth.

The others were admittedly put off by his words, but eventually decided that he was correct.

“So when's the wedding?” he asked, eager to change the subject lest he bore them with his rants about the good-ole days.

“Oh, it's in 11 days, the Thirteenth.” Shining Armor informed him.

The Forgemaster winced, “That's not a good day to have a wedding.”

“Why not?”

“It's bad luck. Something might happen.” the Forgemaster explained.

Rainbow said, “Superstitious monkey.” like she didn't live in a fantasy world with talking ponies and other mystical creatures. And magic, though he also had magic. He just couldn't wait until he saw a hippogriff, the spawn of a griffon and a pony. Those things have got to be cool looking.

Cadence added, “I'm sure nothing will happen.”

The Forgemaster shook is head, he muttered, “Blind fools.” He paused for a moment, “That reminds me, I’m invited, right?”

Shining Armor laughed nervously, “Well, we're having it at the palace... And that's where you work, so... Yes?”

The fork in The Forgemaster's grip suddenly bent, “If I am anything short of your best man or the minister himself, I will be upset.” The Forgemaster deadpanned.

“Since when are you 2 best friends?” Cadence asked, her eyes darting between the 2 in confusion.

Without even looking at her, he said, “I am also Crimson Hammer, amongst many other people and places, I introduced you, I am his commanding officer, I invite him over for poker night, I covered for him all those times he deserted his post to visit you, I invited him over for dinner, I trained him to be good at his job, I gave him the money he used for the rings, I gave him a hug that one time for no reason, I gave him relationship advice, though it probably didn't work out very well, I gave him half of my lunch when he forgot his 67 days ago, I generously offered to improve him through the use of experimental surgery, though he turned it down, I made him a sword, sometimes I put Viagra in his drink when I know he'll be visiting you, I tilted all of the paintings in the hallway when he was bored, just to give him something to do,” Shining Armor groaned and muttered something about a wicked headache and vertigo, “And I am planning the bachelor party... I'd like to think of us as friends.”

Shiny just stared at his plate, likely fighting back the memories he repressed into his psyche, Cadence was doing her best impersonation of a fish, (marvelous by the way), and Rainbow...

“You are also places?” she asked, incredibly confused. Her brows were furrowed and her lip was sticking out... it was so adorable. He just wanted to hug her until- easy bro, easy, don't want to fly off the handle.

He slumped his shoulders, “I don't really want to talk about it. It wasn't a nice time for me.”

SCENE CHANGE!!!!

It was a fun dinner, all things considered. They destroyed all of his Girl Scout Cookies (Infinite Sadness), but his stash remained intact. They eventually got slightly drunk... so yeah, there's that. Shenanigans ensued though no one died. All in all, a good night's work for The Forgemaster. He had a good time, Rainbow only wanted to kill him a little, and he learned all about a love princess lady man-handler. Also; don't tell nobody but, she's the Dom, he's the Sub.

He even got to test out one of his awesome potions! What kind of potion you ask? Well, it was a transformation potion! Guaranteed-one-use-instant-turn-something-into-a-human-juice. A little bit useless on Earth, to be completely honest, but he had always wanted to see what a dog would do in a human body. THAT had been entertaining. It took a bit of work to find the ingredients, mostly because the stupid ponies named the ingredients some other name. Seriously with cities like Detrot, Baltimare, Fillydelphia, Canterlot, and Salt Lick City (He had DIED when he heard that one, thankfully ole Grimmy the Reaper owed him one) you'd figure that the names of plants would be at least similar, but nope. It took him days to figure out, Zecora had been a great help. He'd describe the plant and she'd name it off like a damn dictionary of plants and vegetation.

Anyways, who else to give said human potion to but Rainbow Dash? Well, after she stopped trying to gouge his eyes out with her BLUNT HOOVES! It had hurt so badly, so very, very badly! But then he realized he could close his eyes, and did so. Then he checked for an eye infection (those hooves get EVERYWHERE! Heh, get it?)

Anyways, there he was, potion in hand.

“Hey Dashie,” He offered the potion to her, “Drink this.”

She eyed the concoction dubiously, and he really didn't blame her. It didn't exactly look like mountain spring water if you know what I mean. Imagine radioactive waste, turned blue, and then crammed into a bottle. That's his awesome potion of the day.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It's a potion that will turn you into a human for about... 3 hours.” he told her.

She looked at the proffered potion again, said potion did little to reassure her of its good intentions when a bubble burst against the stopper... and then the stopper started sizzling as though dipped in acid.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Positive.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I tested it on Simba.” he said with a grin.

“And where's he now?”

“In the basement, he turned back into a human about 12 minutes ago. I didn't want him to freak out anyone, also he's a wee bit miffed I put it in his food without telling him.”

She thought on it for a few moments, “Will it hurt?”

“I'm told it tingles. Like, really bad too, like you whacked your funny bone with a sharp-pointed hammer.”

“Hmm...” she thought once more, she seems to rarely do that... but she is now, let's make the most of it!

“What kind of human will I become?”

“You would look like you would as if you were born a human. That's really it. More specifically, you'd be a girl, a woman, with an athletic build, rainbow colored hair, arms, legs, a nose, all the things that humans have.”

“Alright.” she said, “Give it here.”

He handed it to her, “Make sure to drink all of it,” he advised, “You might explode... Kidding, kidding.”

He dodged the punch she threw at him.

She held the vial in one hoof, gazing at it one last time. She then lifted it to her lips and bit the stopper off before spitting it off to the side, she then downed the vial in one gulp.

He was right, judging by the groaning Rainbow couldn't stop, that the potion did indeed tingle on a level above and beyond any massage chair ever. Poor thing, changing your body structure never felt good, magic or no magic. Even transforming into a pony tingled something fierce, you get used to it, but such an advanced transformation would be especially intense on a first-timer. And, coincidentally, that IS what she said. His original transformation teacher had been a priestess and she had told him that.

It was a gradual process, not like the spells. With a spell you were transformed in a small poof of smoke and then you were different. But a potion was a different subset of magic dickery, and it operated by different rules.

Still, 12 or so minutes later and the process was done. He was just happy to have the foresight to have her sit on the bed while she took the potion. She was already uncomfortable, there's no use being a dick and having her do it on the hardwood floors in his kitchen.

She twitched for a little bit, still conscious but getting acquainted with a new nervous system. A few more minutes of that and she sat up, holding her head from a powerful headache.

He was right in his predictions. Though she had wings, he hadn't predicted that. A bit stupid of him not to, seeing as how he had his wings, but nevertheless: she had awesome wings as a human. Just the same as her normal ones, only they were much, much larger. Same hair color too, same hairstyle as well. She had an athletic build, just as she had as a pony. Also: she was naked, prompting a silly grin from The Forgemaster.

She groaned roughly, still holding her head, “Is it finally over?”

“Yes Dashie, and now you're an awesome human like me!” he gave a thumbs up and everything, but she was still distracted by the aches.

He gave her a glass of water, which she took gratefully. Only to immediately drop it because hands don't work

that way silly girl. She shook her head to clear away the pain and, surprisingly, it seemed to work as her eyes focused on him and she stopped holding the side of her head.

Then she noticed his goofy grin.

“What's so funny?” she demanded, narrowing her eyes in anger.

He just pointed at her, “You have boobs.” he pointed out.

“What're boobs?” she asked.

She looked down at herself to follow the direction his finger was pointing and saw 2 things protruding from her upper front part.

“What the hay are these things!?” she demanded them, grabbing them with an almighty SMACK.

The Forgemaster stifled a pleased groan, seeing her grab herself was almost too much.

“They are you boobs... your breasts... uh... mammary glands? Teats?” he informed her, unsure on how exactly to answer.

Her eyes widened, “Really!? These huge things?” she grabbed them again, and looked them over thoroughly while he still looked on with a stupid, goofy grin.

They weren't very huge, at least not to him or any humans. They were a fairly modest size that fit her 5 foot frame. She was also naked, did I mention that? Come to think of it, she still had her cutie mark: emblazoned boldly on each hip.

“You're beautiful.” he told her honestly.

“Aw, thanks.” AW! She was so adorable when she was being bashful.

She then tried to stand up, unsuccessfully. Learning how to walk on 2 legs while constantly using 4 previously is quite a shock. Surprisingly, she didn't try to hover in mid air as she was wont to do. He really hoped she didn't try to fly, that would be killer on everything in this bedroom: the sheets, the shelves.

He gently held her on her feet, and guided her back to the bed. This time she stayed put.

He pointed towards the mirror on the wall that he had set up for this experiment.

“Whoa...” she breathed out.

She gazed into the mirror and started touching her face as though checking it was really her. Her violet eyes really stood out on her human face. It just wasn't a color humans had, unless they were Cadian.

He noticed something, “Hey, what's that?” he pointed to the small nick on her chin.

She grinned, “Oh that, I almost forgot about that. You can't see it under my coat very well. It's a small scar I got when I was just a little filly messing around.” She laughed, “I learned a lesson that day: always stick the landing.”

He frowned, “But you rarely do.”

She shoved him off the bed, “Shut up!”

As she was looking back into the mirror after shoving him, she found that she had missed something in her earlier inspections. How could she miss something as awesome as her wings!?

She immediately turned to the side, to better see them, unknowingly giving The Forgemaster a show from where he was on the floor.

“Whoa, these things are so cool!” she exclaimed, “They've got to be like 16 feet across!”

He nodded, “Yep, that's the kind of wingspan you need to fly as a human, apparently.”

She frowned into the mirror, “I don't think I'd be very fast with these, these look more like soaring wings than flapping wings. A pegasus can only go so fast by gliding.”

“Well, it'll only last like 3 hours anyway. Then you can go back to your awesome flappy-wings.”

She chuckled at him, “I can't even hover because I'd destroy your room.”

“Wings this size will do that.” he pointed out, to which she nodded.

She thought for a few moments, “So this last for 3 hours right?” she asked.

“Give or take a few minutes, why?”

“Well, since I can't walk. And these wings are too big to fly in here... Why don't we do something more fun?” she said with a grin that was either lust or mischievousness, or maybe mischievous lust...

Truly terrifying.

Chapter 73

All things considered, that was a good night. Rainbow got a new experience, and The Forgemaster received a new-iteration of an old, though still very much enjoyable, experience. Of course, there were a few... mishaps.

For instance, humans have gag-reflexes. Ponies do not. I'll just let you imagine how that one turned out.

That's... really the only thing that was out of the ordinary... Besides the whole... 'Pony turned human and then sex' thing, it was totally normal. The morning after was a tiny smidgen more awkward than it could have been, but he couldn't complain. He'd sheathed his sword in stranger places. With an emphasis on 'stranger'. Heh, get it? Having sex with strangers... And weird things... Would sex with Celly burn like the sun? She already has a higher than average body temperature because of, you know, the whole sun thing. If Celly lost control in the act, she might just burn off something important.

Then he had to explain the concept of gagging to Rainbow. It was unbearable, considering the context. If it had been at any other time, it would have been an easy conversation, but the morning after sex? Awkward.

But hey, what are you going to do?

I'll tell you what: you go to your job and ignore everything, especially the problem.

So that's where The Forgemaster was, in his office at Canterlot. Was he doing work? Probably not. Was he experimenting with narcotics? Yes, yes he was. He found this awesome plant in the depths of right around Fluttershy's house, and it was similar to coca plant! Yes, The Forgemaster now had access to cocaine and its variant, crack.

He had had a small chemistry lab put in his office, because sometimes he wanted to do chemistry stuff. The fact that he used his guards as a cheap source of both labor and test subjects is irrelevant in this matter.

He made just a small pinch of that powder, and invited one of his 'paper work guards' over. Always, the  choice was thus: use this and go home for the day, or don't and stay. Inevitably, someone will take him up on his proposition. Besides, it was just a harmless white powder, what harm could it do?

The Forgemaster sighed for what seemed the millionth time as he stamped his approval on another sheet of paper. The instant his hand lifted off of the paper, something far too fast to see reached in, grabbed it, and stacked it in the approval pile.

It was his personal secretary, Madam Secretary. That's what he called her, he never bothered to learn her name. That's what he put on the payroll, that's how he filled out her forms, that's what he called her in everyday operation, when she was sick, he sent a get-well soon card with that name on it. Even some of the guards started calling her that, the princesses too. He took the name off of her desk and replaced it with 'Madam Secretary'. And she seemed to resignedly let him after the first hundred times.

However, she had decided to try his cocaine.

He regretted his decision.

Cocaine, caffeine, and sugar should never, ever, ever, ever, mix with any form of pony, ever. The Forgemaster thinks that their blood is literally made of maple syrup and their manes are naught but colored sugar formed into strands. A subtle balance, a drop of anything remotely mind-altering, and they flip their shit.

He had even given her the option of going home, and she ignored it, he had even ordered her to go home, and she ignored him. However, his office had never been tidier. There wasn't a speck of dust in the room, not even on the guards. Every single painting was literally perfectly level, perfectly. Paperwork was done sometimes before he even got a chance to look at it because she moved his arm for him, and the instant he was finished she took it off his desk and into a pile.

However, she was literally vibrating in place. Seriously, the office had new floors and he could see wear and tear not found on 1000 year old buildings in the one place she was standing/vibrating. If only there was an antidote to cocaine... no, that's a bad idea. Mixing chemicals is never a good idea. Evidence A: cocaine and natural pony hyper-activity disorder.

Hmm...

“Excuse me, Madam Secretary?” The Forgemaster began.

“Yes, Forgemaster? Whatdoyouwant, Icandoanything, Ican, Ireallycan, justsaythewordanditsdone!!!!!” the vibrating pony said at the speed of light, it was a testament to The Forgemaster's ears that he even heard her, much less understood her.

How can someone talk at the speed of light? Well, light moves in waves, as does sound. Therefore, it is possible to speak at the speed of light. It was just hard as balls and only Pinkie and cocained-up ponies could accomplish the feat.

“Is there a plant that, when smoked, makes everything slowed down... and it makes you happy?”

“YES! Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes, it'scalledHappyLeaf!” Madam Secretary declared.

“Good, good.” The Forgemaster nodded slowly, probably infuriating the secretary with his slowness, “I need you to go and get me, uh,” he examined the pony as carefully as he could, considering she was literally a blur, “Yeah, about a pound of this Happy Leaf?” he scrounged around in his pockets and withdrew a small bag of bits, “Here, keep the change.”

I swear to all the various and diverse deities, the bag was less than a millimeter out of his hand when she took it, and ran out the room with fire blazing behind her. He grinned when he saw the individual hoof-steps on the floor, tiny individual fires.

And, less than 5 seconds later, ZOOM and she was back in the room.

She threw a bag at him, full of a vibrant green leaf, and then assumed her position vibrating beside his desk.

He looked into the bag, and took a deep sniff of the stuff. Whoa, it was strong. Probably all that ambient magic in the air that Equestria has. He took one of the rejected papers from the pile, and poured the entire bag into it. He then rolled a very, very large cigarette. Almost a cigar.

He held it out to the vibrating-machine, “Here, take this and go up to the roof-”

Before he could finish, she had already taken it and, literally, ran with it. She came back empty handed... hoofed.

“-And then smoke it, all of it.” he finished.

She might have nodded, he couldn't tell.

She came back, hours later just as he was about to leave, in the wee hours of the morning, just before Celly raised the sun, and walk calmly into the room. She then, immediately, fell asleep right there in the middle of the room. Judging by how slow she was moving, she probably took all that time just getting back to his office.

He laid a blanket over her, and gave the remaining Night Guards explicit orders to give her a large breakfast in the morning, and then take her to the doctors for possible addiction.

And then he left.

He warped his way over to Twilight's Library. Why? To play a nice, wholesome game of 'poke the bear'. It was more similar to, 'poke the Rapidash' (Ie: angry Twilight = flaming horse), but the principle was the same. Why Rapidash and not Ponyta? Because Twilight was vastly more powerful, and usually vastly more angry than any normal Ponyta.

You think I’m bullshitting? Nope, he warped to just outside Twilight's library. He looked through the window to see Twilight pouring over some books or something, I don't care. He then slowly, ever so carefully, opened the door. He sneaked his way over to Twilight, who was oblivious because she was PREY!! He carefully put his hands onto Twilight's back, and then picked her up.

Studiously ignoring Twilight's yelps, he started doing some Twilight-lifting. It was good exercise, because sweet, adorable, frightened Twilight was a solid 300 pounds of... not really solid steel, more like 'I don't exercise much because I’m a bloody librarian', and sex appeal, as Twilight apparently had the 'sexy librarian' look going for her. It was also exceptionally difficult, because she just wouldn't stop squirming, so that added another layer to his regiment.

Abruptly, Twilight teleported from his arms. It appears as though Twilight remembered that she could do that.

She reappeared on the other side of the room, about to blast him another hole with magic... But then she just sighed, she probably muttered something bad about him.

“Forgemaster, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Lifting, brah. Do you even lift, broseph?”

Twilight frowned, “Well, don't lift me, lift somepony else. And I don't lift, I didn't put that in the schedule.”

“Schedule?” he questioned.

“Yes, I just finished scheduling my schedule for net month, but then I realized that I forgot to schedule time for scheduling the month after next month's schedule next month!”

He vaguely recalled some message he got from Shining Armor that he was supposed to give to Twilight about the wedding that was going to go down in like... 7 days. Oh well, no hair off his testicles. Mostly because they were balls of steel, and you can't grow hair on steel.

Hmm, he seemed to have zoned out there, because Twilight was still talking. She only ever did that when he forgot to interrupt her.

A sudden breeze in the library cut his thoughts off, and a few moments later it cut off Twilight as well.

They both looked over to see a rapidly expanding, pink dome with books, paper, and shit flying willy-nilly out of it.

Suddenly, the thing burst into light. He would've been blinded were it not for his shades. The one he pulled out of air, thank you Pinkie.

Standing where the pink dome thing used to be were 2 figures. The Forgemaster smiled as he recognized himself in traditional ninja attire, he was sparkly with electricity too. He frowned when he saw Twilight all sparkly with electricity hunched over on the floor, she was dressed like Solid Snake. Get it, Twilight 'sparkly' with electricity. Ha! I kill me.

Twilight shrieked or something, he wasn't paying attention. Sparkly-Twilight went to talk with Normal-Twilight. But Ninja-Forgey walked towards him, his cloak billowing in the breeze, the light catching the hilt of his katana, his demon mask red and imposing. Fucking. Awesome.

“Yeah, I know. I had that thought too.” Ninja-him said just as he thought that.

“So, you're from the future?” Normal-him deduced.

“Yep. Listen up: Twilight's gonna be freaking out for the next couple days for no reason, it's funny, trust me. But anyways there's no reason to get your panties in a bunch, nothing happens, at all. It's actually kind of boring.” Future-ninja-him drawled.

“Hmph, cool. Anything else I should know?” Normal-him asked.

“Nah, that's it. But here: a gift.” he threw what appeared to be a magazine at him, when he caught it, he unrolled it revealing a sports magazine dated a week from today.

“I got that from my Future-me, and he got it from his, and so on and so on. Use that to make lots and lots of money by illegally betting on sports games. Because betting on sports is illegal in Equestria, which is bullshit by the way. I’m gonna talk to Celly about that.”

“Cool bro, good luck with that.”

“Don't mention it, seriously, don't. No one will believe you.” Future-him warned, all sparkly with energy magic.

“Okie doke, bro: bye.” he waved as the light and energy intensified.

“See ya!” Ninja-him waved as he was vaporized into the future.

“Ah, I love that guy, I really do.” he held a hand over his heart. ”It's like his personality clicks with mine.”

Twilight was freaking out for some reason, probably over something Sold-Snake-Future-Twilight said, but he didn't mind. He just left.

Dashie was probably upset with him for staying out so late... early? Doesn't matter.

He had an excuse: demonic, cocaine addicted secretary.

Chapter 74

The Forgemaster left Twilight ranting about some disaster in the future, and how Future-Twilight came back to the past to warn her about what the disaster in the future would be like. Just like Future-Ninja-Him said, she's going to freak out over nothing... hopefully. He didn't put it past himself to dick around with him just as his Future-Self's Future-Self did to him as a form of cathartic revenge against himself, thereby creating an infinite number of dickings as each Future-Self dicked with their Past-Self who would eventually become the Future-Self and dick around with their version of the Past-Self, who would then become the Future-Self themselves and do to their specific Past-Selves exactly what their Future-Self did to their Present-Self.

He hated time travel, he always had.

Time travel spells had been invented by the human race in their gloriously magical past, and likely a few thousand years earlier than the pony race, but no one's judging... except for him. The Forgemaster fully acknowledged his racism against ponies, but quickly found that he enjoyed doing it far too much to change, and it was only mostly in good fun. Anyways, the funny thing about Time spells is that they were always overrode by the Big Man in charge, Father Time. He isn't actually a person, nor a deity, but the non-existent guy just really hates it when you mess with his time stream. So he invented paradoxes, or rather, didn't invent paradoxes but allow situations to resolve themselves which others have come to call paradoxes. Also, divergent time streams.

For instance: you go back in time to stop Event A. Because you stopped it, your Part-Self which lived through or knew of Event A has no reason to go back into the past and alter Event A. Due to the fact that no one is aware of what happens, the only logical assumption is that that time stream diverges into 2: one where Event A happened and one where Event A didn't happen. Alternatively, you could find that going back to the past causes Event A, or that your actions trying to stop or alter Event A led the event to what you remember it as being. Collectively known as the ultimate unintentional dicking by Father Time, or, paradoxes.

Complicated shit, time travel.

The Forgemaster didn't feel like getting caught in a never-ending circle of time-dickings, so he steered clear of Time-Travel wherever possible. Except for in the future, when he does not. However, this time paradox is relatively simple. All he had to do is go back in time next week, talk to himself, and use the same words given to him a few short moments ago. And somewhere down the line create himself an Oni-ninja mask, a katana, and a Ninja-suit. Damn, looks like he has a busy week ahead of him... or he could wait until the last second, which is always the better option. Procrastination is good, for if you wait before you do something you will be older when you do it, and therefore wiser.

The local ponies strutting about in the almost-exactly-dawn hours gave friendly waves as he walked passed them. Yeah he had wings, he could've flown. Yeah he was a beautiful magical bastard, he could've teleported. But he was a man, and occasionally men must do things in a less-efficient manner than they could have. Why? Because they were men, awesome men with manly beards and balls of steel. The kind of men you can look at and think, 'There goes one of the manliest men I've ever seen.' like Liam Neeson. There was a manly man. He trained Obi-Wan, as well as the goddamn Batman. An epic ballad the lengths of which the ancient Scandinavian peoples had never heard before could be filled with only Liam Neeson's exploits, and entire libraries could be dedicated to those he trained in the art of manliness.

He went to his house, stolidly ignoring the ponies and their damn early hour friendliness. Every. Single. Pony. Was a morning person-pony-demon. Every single one. Excepting those ponies that are almost always irritable and Rainbow Dash, as she does not awake in the mornings, but rather the evenings.

He thought he saw a Pinkie Pie float by while attached to balloons, but that was just a hallucination... maybe. He was almost 20% certain that all of Equestria contains some form of hallucinogenics.

His house was just as he left it: an island of bland practicality in an ocean of pony ponitude, which is also known as color, exuberance, happiness, and fabulous~! He opened the door and locked it, while ponies may not be thieves they also have no comprehension of the word 'privacy'. An open door to them is an invitation, and an invitation requires being a good host. Anything less would be an insult, so he just locked the door to keep the friendly bastards out. Like Canadians, they were!

He started towards the stairs, simultaneously unbuttoning his shirt and throwing the magazine his Future-Self had brought him onto the kitchen table. He didn't even bother putting his clothes in the hamper, he just took them off as he climbed the stairs and threw them in some unoccupied corner until he was clad in nothing but his skivvies, and a scowl.

Why the scowl?

Because Dashie was still in bed, but even worse. She took OVER the bed. One night that he's gone and the sheets were replaced by Wonderbolt printed covers. Also: Rainbow Dash was still in bed, lying face down, spreadeagled, snoring loudly, and taking up entire bed. That shouldn't even be possible; the bed was made for him, a giant among humans and a freaking Titan amongst ponies, there's no way that Rainbow should be able to take up the whole bed with her tiny, frail, pony frame! And yet she had... Come to think of it, how did the sheets fit? Did she have them custom ordered? Aw man, that means it has already begun: the slow but sure shift in the amount of cool stuff in his house from 'Freakin' Paradise' to 'Rainbow's House; Your Balls Are Mine'. He hereby designates his armory as his haven, because only he knows that code to the various locks, and only he knows how to placate Abraham Lincoln's reanimated body. Hint: brrrains...

Of which Dashie is severely lacking...

Unless she has a body just lying around and enough medical acumen to remove a brain mostly intact, both of which are fairly unlikely. And that's after getting through his locks. And Simba, wherever the bastard is. The latest gossip from transforming into a wounded animal and letting Fluttershy take care of you while listening to her babbling tells him that Simba had found himself a girl/vixen/she-fox... The guy was barely even out of adolescence, and already scoring! He was so proud... He might even shed a tear.

After a moment of internal debate, he resolved to not shed a manly tear of pride. That could wait until Twilight became an alicorn, and that would never happen. He bet his shins it wouldn't happen.

A sudden picture of him conversing with an alicorn-ed Twilight while in a wheelchair came to the forefront of his mind... But that wasn't the future, was it? He was no seer! Or was he? No, probably not... He had the feeling that someone, somewhere, decided that him being a seer was just a bit too much, and prevented this from happening.

He momentarily thought, 'With great power comes great insanity... Or is it, 'From great insanity comes great power.'? I always forget which.'

But back to the matter at hand: Rainbow Dash's most sinister plot, hehe, to take over his bed!

The Forgemaster carefully examined the situation, looking at it from all angles possible before reaching his inevitable conclusion. Like a well manicured lawn, the only solution is to roll it up and throw it out the window!

According to the specifications specified in that sentence, The Forgemaster bent over, scratched behind Dashie's ear, bringing an unconscious smile to her lips, carefully picked up the edge of the sheet and tossed it over Dashie, and then, in a spur of motion, roll her up and throw her out the window, ignoring her startled yelps.

Due to the fact that Equestria had either; a) cartoon physics or b) handy hedges/trampolines, there was no way that Dashie would be hurt.

Sure enough, a glance out the window showed that Dashie had landed on a trampoline that a pair of stallions were carrying down the street, likely to install it in a resident's yard, and then landed in a hedge on the other side of the street. She unraveled with the sheets, and imaginary birds that everyone could see flew about her head as she held her head to ward off the headache born of dizziness.

Her head snapped towards his house when she heard the sounds of a window slamming shut. He could vaguely see her forming words with her mouth, the soundproofed window drowning out any noise, but he was almost sure that she was saying, 'RAAAAGH!!'. Truly a terrifying threat from Dashie, but he was safe in his home for the moment. His wards and runes will keep her out. Until she remembers that she has a house key, and that would never happen, she won't be getting in here without his permission.

He drew the blinds when it became obvious that Dashie would just keep mouthing words at him and shaking her hoof through the window. However, now he had a problem: what did Dashie do with his sheets?

When a quick glance around the room revealed nothing, as though it would have, he took the lazy route and got out a single blanket from his closet, he tossed it over the bed. Promptly, he fell asleep. And with it came visions of madness... Which were primarily comprised of his memories. Cheery guy, he was lucky Celly's memories had a relatively positive influence on him. It certainly made him more talkative.

You know what's great? Hours of uninterrupted nap time. You know what Forgey got? Not that.

Hours later, maybe, or perhaps a day or more. The Forgemaster had been pretty tired, so he didn't put it past himself to sleep for a day or so. A week of heavy preparation work, for the Royal Wedding, plus one final all-nighter put its strain on his jowls. Do you know the kind of security it took for a Royal Wedding? A lot; hard work too. Work intensive as well, he couldn't just say, 'Hey! Guard this shit.' and expect it to get done, no; he had to actually get involved. Shifts, routines, checkpoints, boyos, training, mercenaries! All had been thoroughly ignored until Tia came and told him he had to do it. He had vastly underestimated his workload, and came to regret his decision. But, naps make everything better.

What interrupted his nap was large earthquake. However, that was BS. Ponyville is nowhere near a fault line, so it couldn't have been a natural earthquake.

Rubbing his eyes and muttering curses, The Forgemaster sat up out of bed, bemoaning the lack of sleep. He stretched his arms and yawned before climbing out of bed and opening the blinds. Somehow, the sight of Cerberus being tickled by Fluttershy didn't surprise him in the slightest. Also; the sight of Cerberus at all didn't surprise him. The fact that he was in Ponyville and not guarding Tartarus was a little disconcerting, but nothing to get in a tizzy about. Oh, The Forgemaster hated Tartarus, or at least his home's version of it, he had yet to visit this place's Tartarus, but he couldn't imagine this place's version being much better... scratch that, yeah he could.

Tartarus was a giant as hell hole in the Underworld, filled with everything evil, ever.

He bungee-ed down into it, and that wasn't a very pleasant experience. He learned 2 things from that. #1: never take a dare from Hades, he can be a prick when he wants to be. And #2: that jazz about staring into an abyss and having it also stare into you was completely true, took him a few years to feel better after that. Nothing terribly unpleasant, just a small feeling that he might catch a death at any moment, frequent bouts of rage through which he would not remember a thing, having the constant feeling of being watched by malign entities, and occasional explosive diarrhea. You really can't beat that without going overboard.

He saw Pinkie reach into a tree and pull out a ball, then he watched Twilight levitate the ball and run off, leading Cerberus away from Ponyville and hopefully back to Tartarus...

How does Twilight know where Tartarus is? Celly didn't tell her, he knew that much... And how did she expect to get there? Hmm, Cerberus will probably scare the hell out of anything in her way, he supposed.

Really, you'd figure that the literal hell hole of evil would be under his jurisdiction as supreme boss of the Royal Guard, but apparently it wasn't. He imagined it would be under the Department of Housing and Urban Development's jurisdiction. What? It 'housed' some folks! However, he was certain that Celestia had that well in hand. Hoof. Thing. 'Manipulative Organ Attached to the End of a Convenient Limb', there that works. 'Celly had that well in Manipulative Organ Attached to the End of a Convenient Limb.'

The Forgemaster grumbled something about 'kids these days' and 'giant ass three-headed dogs' as he closed the blinds and climbed back into bed.

Sleep eluded him for hours, which was irritating. So he went and did stuff in the comfort of his own home. However, due to the lack of many modern inventions that allow one to work from the home, he could do only very little. Like... reading! He found an old book a while back at a book store. The great part was Celestia hadn't read it, and so by the process of 'memory osmosis' he hadn't either!

He was disappointed, however, when he came to read it. The cover had been destroyed by the ravages of time, so he didn't actually know what he bought. Some may call it stupid, but he called it, 'I'm rich bitch!' The title of the book, discovered once opening the cover, read, 'The Lusty Argonian Maid.' So... useless.

Essentially, he did nothing until bed time, whereupon he went to bed. The next morning, he decided that he had had enough sleep. So he prepared to leave his bastion. Clothing equipped, The Forgemaster decided to go see how Twilight has been handling the 'crisis', or lack thereof. On the way, he stopped by at a gambling den that he knew of. Really, it wasn't very hidden, it was just the back room of his favorite bar. The only one in town, the Watering Hole. Hilarious. A thousand bits were bet, and more than 10000 would be won. Not enough to severely imbalance the economy, and not enough to make a whole group of stallions his perpetual servants to pay off the debt either... a smooth balance. Then, off to Twilight's.

The discovery of a massive, circular groove worn into the floor of Twilight's library was an admittedly small discovery when compared to his expectations. That didn't mean it upset him any less. Do you know how hard it is to fix a tree that is also living? Very, very hard. Do you know how hard it is to fill a circle with lumber? Very, very hard. Lumber is cut in a rectangle, and they don't mix well with circles. Sure you could steam them and bend them into a curve to place into the circle, but it just wasn't going to look natural or good, and the odds of filling it totally without gaps was unlikely. Pi was a finicky, seemingly endless mistress.

Twilight was still in her massive groove, a solid foot and a half down into the hardwood. Despite being seemingly impossible, there it was. Sure she weighed as much as a small horse should, but it was still living hardwood. Spike was there too, rubbing the back of his head in thought as Twilight talked. The Forgemaster offered a casual greeting, was ignored, and then sulked in one of Twilight's chairs.

She was saying, “I did everything I could think of to change the future. But it didn't work. So maybe it's not what I do... maybe it's what I don't do!” Twilight charged up her magic, her horn igniting in lavender, she teleported off to the side, “If I stand right here and don't move a muscle until next Tuesday, I can't possibly do whatever it is that future Twilight wanted to warn me not to do!”

Twilight tried to stand stock-still, and even clenched her jaw in the effort. Meanwhile, Forgey was amused.

Spike grinned smugly, and walked over to Twilight, “Really? So... no matter what happens, you're not gonna move a muscle, huh?” the way he moved behind Twilight with that grin on his face gave The Forgemaster no small amount of worry, but if Spike was a rapist, he would have to arrest him, child or no, “Then maybe you won't mind if I...” Spike sped away, leaving only a cloud of dust, he was back momentarily with a tub of ice cream, “Eat an entire tub of ice cream!”

At least he wasn't a rapist, the double entendre in his words was worrying, but it appears as though Spike didn't know what his words could be mistaken for if taken out of context. And a tub of ice cream will give you nothing but a stomach ache. Unless you are Frosty the Snowman. And he was almost certainly not a rapist. Technically, bad musicians could be called rapists as they 'shove things down your ear hole against your will' which is fairly similar to the actual definition of rapist.

The Forgemaster watched as Spike tortured Twilight with worry for his well-being, the child was clearly a master-torturer. Spike just dipped a rather large spoon into the tub of ice-cream again and again, eating each bite slowly, methodically, the better to draw out the agony. The Forgemaster was surprised that Spike couldn't even eat it like that, if eating large amounts of ice cream gives humans a brain freeze then giving large amounts of ice cream to a small dragon, a species known for their rather warm internal temperatures, then he had no idea the pain a brain freeze could cause.

The Forgemaster stood and walked over to Twilight, who only now seemed to notice his presence. Damn oblivious ponies. Just for that, he was planning on either poking her or tickling her for eternity, or until she starts to move again.

“Spike, stop!” Twilight was saying through her gritted teeth, “Think of the stomach ache!”

The Forgemaster sat down next to Twilight, and gently poked her on the side of her adorable little belly. He wouldn't stop from now on, 'Damn the torpedoes!' he's going full speed ahead with his torture!! Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! Let the Library BURN!

“Stomach ache, huh? That's Future-Spike's problem.” Spike declared like the foolish lizard he is, did he not know that Future-Spike was him in the future!?

Twilight was literally vibrating with the strain of trying not to rip the ice cream from Spike, and probably break Forgey's finger. He had poked her quite a few times, he could tell he was irritating her.

Spike greeted his efforts with an encouraging nod, and leaned up against Twilight on the opposite side of his incessant poking and prodding.

Suddenly, knocking followed by Dashie opening the door! The Forgemaster silently offered a benediction to his deities for protection of his holy-of-holies: his precious testicles. But, she had had a day or so to cool off... maybe she wouldn't kill him? Despite this, The Forgemaster felt the need to hide and did so behind Twilight quivering form, without letting up with the poking! While the idea of hiding a man of his size behind a miniature horse was laughable, he had FAITH! Magic couldn't get him out of this, even invisibility created a small amount of light when casting, which would reveal his position. But faith could move mountains, and mount movements!

“Hey Twilight!” Dashie greeted, “Another pegasus just got back from Baltimare with an all-clear and-”

She flew over towards them, breaking out laughing, the various gods of mercy, divine intervention, and infinite darkness sparing him from her sight with some magic, hopefully. However, he might just be hallucinating the effect. The hallucinogens present in Twilight might be affecting him through his close contact. As previously established, he had his suspicions on the hallucinogenic content of Equestria.

“What's going on?” Dashie asked the room, “Aren't you going to stop him?” she indicated Spike, who had thought it a good idea to fall to the ground with his face buried in the tub of ice cream.

The Forgemaster saw this as absolute proof of the gods' intervention: there was no reason for Spike's sudden descent to the floor save to spare him the wrath of Dashie. His unknowing distraction was surely divinely inspired. Faith could move mountains, it can also spare you the wrath of your foe, or in this case: an angry female. The Forgemaster decided to spare Twilight from his poking, he was in this boat too now!

“She sure isn't!” Spike declared, answering Dashie's questions for Twilight, “In fact, she's not gonna move 'til next Tuesday! She thinks it'll prevent the disaster from happening!” Spike explained.

Rainbow laughed, “Oh, this is too rich!”

She looked towards Twilight and dramatically gasped, then said, “Hey Twilight, there's a mouse right behind you!”

'Don't look, don't look, don't look, don't- ARG! You bitch!'

While Twilight may not have exactly turned around to look, she did react, unknowingly moving enough to reveal the Forgemaster. Thankfully, the revelation was brief, and he remained undetected due to Dashie's rambunctious laughter that almost required her to close her eyes, so powerful was her mirth. Yet more proof of the gods' favor.

Spike said, “Wait wait wait, let me try!”

He went and picked up a quill that was on the desk, and ran over to Twilight, tickling her all over. The Forgemaster was thankful that Spike chose not to reveal his presence, and that Dashie had elected to remain precisely where she was, yet further proof of the gods' intervening for their favored follower. He decided to sacrifice a goat later that evening, or maybe a manticore, perhaps a hydra? A virgin inserted into the nearest volcano might be best.

Twilight had finally had enough, it appeared. She magically levitated Spike, and threw him across the room towards Dashie. Upon impact, Spike unleashed a rather large and surprising, as well as unintended, green fireball.

Unfortunately, it's course was directly towards Twilight. Fortunately, it provided enough noise and light to cover up The Forgemaster's sudden teleportation. He didn't go too far, only up into the loft where Twilight's bed was. He had only slight confidence in the fire-proofedness of Twilight and decided to be on hand to put her out. Despite this, he had the amusing thought that Celly just received a rather strange message in the form of large amounts of Twilight mane and tail.

Upon seeing Twilight emerge from the fireball, Dashie wailed, “Oh no!”

“What happened?” Twilight asked, deceptively calm.

“I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! It was a total accident!” Spike claimed, as though that would somehow lessen his punishment. Twilight was basically his mom, and though corporeal punishment was frowned upon in Equestria, The Forgemaster just knew that Spike was fearing for his scaled booty.

Dashie had smiled sheepishly, and started to hover in place: a nervous tick she inherited from... someone, probably. It was also a sign that she was ready to bolt at any moment, leaving Spike to his doom.

“Show me.” Twilight commanded.

“Um, I’m not so sure that's a-” Dashie started, and was interrupted.

“Show me.” Twilight commanded once more.

Spike retrieved a mirror, pointed it at Twilight, and lifted it to her eye level. Twilight's eyes widened as smoke was still drifting off of her.

“Oh no,” Twilight said, “This is the same mane cut as Future-Twilight!” and it was indeed.

“You know, it really doesn't look too bad...” it was obvious that Dashie was lying her little blue lips off.

Despite the lie, the Forgemaster agreed with it: it gave Twilight the sort of mad-scientist look that he knew was deep inside her... or maybe, not so deep. Perhaps only skin deep... It was better than the perfectly straight locks she normally had. While cute on her, they would look just weird on a human of her age.

“I don't care how it looks!” Twilight lied, I mean, she was a girl, right? “It's just another sign that the future hasn't changed!” she started nervously pacing, “Not doing anything didn't work either! Oh, I wish there was a way to know what was going to happen so I could stop it!”

“You wanna see the future?” all eyes on Spike, “I might know somepony who can help!”

They all left. Leaving him alone. Spike didn't even think of him, neither did Twilight, despite their knowledge of his presence.  He would be sad if this didn't also protect him from the wrath of Rainbow... While he was of the opinion that confronting your problems was good in the long term, he was also a survivalist. You know the kind of shit that tries to kill you over thousands of years? A whole heap of weird, deadly, or numerous things, or some combination of the 3. If confronting this particular problem also lowered the chances of his surviving, then he'd just go ahead and not confront her... The structural integrity of both his anus and his testicles is of far greater value than a relationship.

Without the slightest of bumming out due to lack of friends' concern, he left Twilight's place by way of magic. It was only Sunday, and he had yet to make his Oni-mask, katana, or his ninja outfit! Did he have to make his own? Or Twilight's? Maybe they sell them at the store... for ponies at least. He knew for a fact that they didn't carry ninja outfits in his size. Thankfully, it wasn't late.

He bid Simba to come, and come Simba did.

He tied a letter to Simba's neck, and ordered him to go to Rarity's. Within the letter were the designs and specifications for his ninja suit. It was really just a chunk of black cotton cut folded in a series of intricate ways, but he didn't want to deal with it.

A side effect of owning a pet means you can train one. A side-effect of having a pet smarter than most ponies means you don't have to train them! And off Simba went, utterly loyal to his glorious master. He'd give Simba a treat... Maybe a gift-card to some fancy restaurant that he could take his lady-friend to! And then laugh when Simba remembers that he's a fox, and foxes can't go to restaurants. God he was an asshole.

But, he still had a sword and mask to contend with. Easier said than done. Did you know that swords are supposed to be created over a long period of time in order to better purify and, therefore, strengthen the blade? However, Japanese sword had their own special method of creation, different from other methods. The steel used is traditional Tamahagane. You can't just mass-produce swords, of any kind, each blade must be given special attention. He preferred using the Soshu Kitae method, also known as the seven layers method. He found that this gave his blades a better cut and strength. Enchantment was also preferred, usually for strength only. The blades were already damn near razor-sharp, not much else could be done to them.

Took a day and most of the night to make the things, even though they were bastards. Having not used the traditional metal, he felt that something was off with the blade. He didn't even accept the name the sword offered. Beyond this night, it would never be used. He would probably melt it down for scrap. Damnable thing.

A mere 14 minutes after he was done polishing his blade, Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike showed up. Twilight demanded that he take them to Canterlot. He was incredibly amused that they were dressing in ninja attire as well. Twilight even had an eye-patch, which was hilarious. It seems they were getting closer to the event in which he would go back in time. He remembered to take his magazine with him, to give back to himself in the past, but in the present.

He had muttered, “Well, three of us are going to have to change.” when the 3 of them came to his door, all wearing ninja cloaks.

However, none did. Despite the social faux pas they were commuting, all ignored his complaints. Except for Pinkie, but she just patted him on the back and told him that nothing could be done. And so the 4 ninjas absconded into the night, heading towards the train station. Which required tickets, by the way. Buying tickets in ninja cloaks wasn't the weirdest thing he had ever done, but damnit if he wasn't the most recognizable, despite the mask and cloak.

Most awkward train ride ever. 4 ninjas, one random pedestrian, and not enough room to be comfortable. They were left all glancing at each other for the entire hour long trip. Trading glances with a deeply suspicious, fearful civilian was always irritating. Especially when he was wearing a bright red Oni-mask. Oni, of course,  being Japanese asshole demons. Demons that acted like assholes, that is. Not assholes that were demons, not demons shaped like assholes, nor demons that possess your asshole.

Thankfully, the civilian decided to stay behind on the train, probably certain that they were waiting until they got off of the train to rob him. Yes, crime exists. In big cities and outlying villages mostly, but exists it does. A rural, primarily farmland, village like Ponyville would be mostly spared from crime.

Pinkie bounced, Spike jogged (tiny legs), Twilight sneaked, and The Forgemaster casually walked whilst simultaneously blending in with the shadows. He learned how to do that from the Thieves Guild of Paris. He was rather disappointed with what happened to France's reputation. Historically, before WWII they were kind of badasses. Though losing to an invader in 40 or so days will ruin anyone's reputation.

After walking/sneaking/jogging/bouncing for about a block, Twilight turned to the group and said, “Alright, the Canterlot Archives are right over there. Let's move!”

the amount of sneakiness Twilight displayed was quite good, considering how she contorted her body to hide behind a stick-thin tree.

He was just waiting for her to realize that he was a highly ranking member of the Equestrian Guard, its leader in fact, and that the Archives were publicly accessible. Well, some parts are closed off, but most parts are public. Hell, most of the guards know Twilight, a rather large portion have actually thrown a blanket over her as she fell asleep reading in the Archives when she was the smaller version of the pony she is now. Ah, insanity brought on by lack of sleep, how he's not missed her. He was insane enough, thank you very much. Why, the last time he was a functioning member of society was... never? He actually wasn't 100% sure when, if ever.

“Uhh, I don't think we need to sneak around Twilight.” Spike helpfully pointed out, as though it weren't blindingly obvious. “It's not illegal to walk around Canterlot.”

But it is illegal to break into the... was it illegal to break into the Archives? Well, breaking things was probably illegal, but just going in? Probably not. Well... sanity and all that. Twilight had a tendency to either overlook the small (or rather large) stuff in order to focus on the big picture, or to focus on the small stuff and ignore the large stuff and the big picture.

Spike was still eating ice cream... Weird, how hasn't he died yet?

“Guard!” Twilight exclaimed... she ruined it when she jumped next to a statue and emulated it. “C'mon you guys.” she pleaded.

Pinkie twirled into a pose, Spike following her example.

The Forgemaster did nothing, he just waited until the guard was closer and nodded his head, “How we doin'?” he asked.

“Just fine, thanks.” the guard replied, and then kept walking.

Hmm... discipline seemed to be sorely lacking.... perhaps a hundred lashes was in order!?!!? No, probably not.

The glare he received from Twilight after the guard past was adorable, as most pony actions are.

“I don't know why we have to wear these things either!” Spike continued his previous line of thought.

He pinched the fabric and brought it away from his body, where it snapped back into place as he released it. They were wearing latex suits? Just where had Twilight gotten them? His was cotton, and made by Rarity... Does this mean that Rarity also deals in latex? Or did Twilight pick them up somewhere else? Who would have thought that the introverted librarian had a flair for the kinky and erotic? The Forgemaster sure did.

Pinkie was saying things about wearing them for fun, a rather crude double entendre but, coming from Pinkie, it was probably just an innocent question. She was rather similar to Broken Bulb (or was it Shattered Globe?) in that she had zero understanding of sexual relations.

Then Twilight said that there was nothing fun about this, which The Forgemaster heartily disagreed with.

“Oh. Are you sure?” Pinkie asked.

“Focus guys! The only way to prevent this disaster is to stop time!” Twilight said.

Holy shit, Twilight took her shit to the extreme. Future-Self was right when he said that The Forgemaster would get a kick out of this, that was the most ludicrous thing he'd ever heard! 'Stop time' she says, like it's as simply as casting a spell! It's not, also, it's impossible. Father Time would be like, 'You tryin' to stop me!?' in some New Jersey accent probably, and then just... stop the stopping of Time. He was kind of unbeatable like that.

Twilight continued, “Time spells are kept in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing, the most secure section of the archives. That's why we're sneaking around.”

Actually, the most secure section of the Archives is the one that no one's allowed in to. Also; it's kind of locked inside of another dimension by Tia's orders... yeah, Tia takes her shit to a similar extreme as Twilight, though she does stop just before stopping time.

“Awesome! That sounds fun!” Pinkie declared exuberantly.

“No!” Twilight was quick to stop her joy, “It's not fun!”

The Forgemaster walked forward as Pinkie 'Aw'ed' in displeasure. Twilight dashed into a bush, trying to remain sneaky despite the recent bout of loud talking. Dashing out of the bush, Twilight managed the spectacular feat of tearing her gimp suit. Now, your common gimp suit is made of an incredibly tear-resistant material, and usually reinforced with metal and leather buckles. Twilight just tore that... on a bush.

The nearest window was where Twilight had dashed too, everyone else following her, still maintaining their conversations in the face of Twilight's insistence that they remain silent.

For some indiscernible reason, the SOLID STAINED-GLASS WINDOWS could be slid open. For 'the most secure section of the Archives', it was doing a terrible job.

Despite the very obvious open window, Twilight still looked pensively in, “The coast is clear. Now slowly lift me up into the window so we can- Ah!”

Pinkie pushed her. It was funny.

Everyone else just climbed in after her.

“Ugh, let's get this over with.” Spike complained.

After a careful observation of the room, The Forgemaster announced his intentions to remain behind as a rear guard. Twilight agreed, and they walked off. A few minutes later, and a few conversations with patrolling guards, and the group was back, as well as the word spread that they weren't to be disturbed, nor the alarm sounded. Twilight didn't really think she could just walk past his guards unchallenged, did she?

Eventually, they came back. Pinkie was there first, appearing through the window, then back again, for a quite a few times. Then Twilight sneaked past. Spike brought up the rear, with his ice cream cone suspiciously void of ice cream.

Twilight muttered something about her calculations as she narrowly avoided tripping over his feet. When she looked up at the very large doorway, he quietly muttered, “Huzzah! And the great quest is completed!”

Enough to earn him a kick to the shins.

Then she realized he was there, the open window was there, and Spike mentioned that this was the window they came in, and her enthusiasm for finding the Star Swirl the bearded wing dimmed. Also: tough break for the Swirly dude; being known for your beard when you invent time related spells.

“Cool!” Pinkie exclaimed, coming in through the window for the nth time, “Can we climb in the window again? That was super fun!”

Who brings Pinkie on a stealth mission?

“I don't understand.” Twilight was saying, she was pacing in a circle, a clear nervous tick. Hopefully she won't wear another circular rut in the floor, “It's supposed to be right here... How are we supposed to find it now?”

What was she talking about? She was looking for the Swirly wing and it's right across the hall!

“Maybe we should ask somepony in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing?” Pinkie suggested, pointing towards said wing.

Good plan Pinkie!

“Huh? How'd I miss that?” Twilight asked her rhetorical question, he half-expected someone to answer her.

Twilight walked up to the closed gate, for it clearly wasn't a door. She looked in, and her eyes widened in greed! Clearly, she was a dirty sinner, fit to be purged in the fire and brimstone of hell. Being greedy for knowledge is still technically greed, and therefore a sin.

“Look at all those priceless magical scrolls!” Oh, Twilight was practically salivating, “There are more than I ever imagined!”

Whilst Twilight was distracted by her dreams of avarice, it was up to Pinkie to notice the looming shadow of a guard.

“Twilight, “ she poked Twilight, “The guard!” she pointed down the hall.

Hey! It was the guard he sent to go and fetch the keys. Good for him, back at a most opportune moment!

Twilight gasped, “What do we do? What do we do?” she harshly whispered.

As the guard rounded the corner, Twilight sank to her hooves, putting her head on them. She was cowering. She was, honestly, pretty good at cowering. However, her intelligence failed her at this particular moment. There was, if you recall, an open window like 3 feet away from her. She could also teleport, and teleport others. Seriously, what the hell Twilight?

As the guard came closer, he caught The Forgemaster's eye and clearly noticed the wink given in his direction. Hell, he even took off his mask, and opened his eye wide to make it completely obvious that it was, in fact, a wink.

Playing along, the guard waited until Twilight looked up at him to say, “Hey, Twilight, haven't seen you in a while. Let me open that for ya.”

And, with a little magic, the door was opened. It didn't even need a key... he sent the guard on a useless errand?

Twilight rubbed the back of her head and nervously chuckled, “Thanks.” she chirped.

Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike walked in as The Forgemaster climbed to his feet.

The guard levitated up a stylized key and placed it into his outstretched palm, “Here you are, sir!”

The Forgemaster nodded his thanks and sent the guard on his way. He then followed after Twilight. He let the 3 wander around through the bookshelves while he walked up to the impressive statue of an hour glass and lounged beneath it.

A moment or 2 later, and a frantic Twilight ran out of the bookshelves to the center hourglass statue. The sunrise was just visible through the open windows. The Fogremaster felt the surge of magic that he did every morning, Celly was obviously raising her sun and Lulu was lowering her moon. He really had to speak with her about a heliocentric model of the solar system, even if he knew that she revolved the sun around the planet, and Luna moved the moon around too.

“It's almost Tuesday morning,” Twilight was saying, “The disaster could happen at any moment!”

“But how do we find the time-stopping spell? There must be a million scrolls here!” Spike exclaimed.

Meanwhile, in the depths of The Forgemaster's mind, he was certain that his Future-Now-Current-Self had been correct when he said that there would be no disaster.

“I. Don't. Know.” Twilight was being dramatic again.

Then they went off among the bookshelves, frantically looking through the bookshelves. Hmm... Twilight didn't even think to ask him why he was being calm... Why? Clearly, she was under a stress and lack of sleep induced coma, but her OCD (or rather, CDO) personality woke up, took control of her body, and is now controlling her.

The sun kept rising, and they kept reading. It was insulting, the way they were treating hundreds of priceless scrolls.

Eventually, the sun rose completely. Good for Tia, right on schedule.

Spike ran to the window, “Twilight!” Spike called, “It's over! It's officially Tuesday morning!”

Twilight ran to the window, “No!” she exclaimed! “Tuesday morning, the disaster! It's coming!!”

She pushed Spike out of the way, and then sat down and cried.

The Forgemaster was getting pretty close to falling asleep, he was just thankful he got all of his work done earlier in the week. Otherwise, he would have had a huge backload to work through! Damn Twilight and him, roping him into things. He double checked his pockets to make sure that he still had his magazine, and that his mask was still in place. He figured that his part would be coming up soon.

Spike walked over to Twilight and poked her, “I dunno, Twilight. I don't see any disasters. Looks like a pretty nice day.”

Then Celestia walked in, through a bookcase, clearly she had been doing some last minute 'reading' and had used the old 'door in a bookcase' trick to hide her shame. She probably even raised the sun down in her dungeon, for shame!

It was obvious, what with how quickly she tried to get away from Twilight, “Good morning Twilight. Love the new hairstyle. Well, happy Tuesday!”

She then fled. He thought it was cute, the way she started subconsciously using some human words like 'hairstyle' instead of 'manestyle'. The Forgemaster took this as proof that humans had the more robust, and powerful culture.

Twilight tried to smile at her teacher, but she failed.

She stood up, obviously distraught, and yelled, “Why isn't anypony surprised to see me sneaking around in here!?”

She moved over to the window, “Is it possible there never was a disaster? That I've just been making myself frantic over nothing?”

Aw... Twilight finally caught on! Thank himself that he went back in time to tell himself about all the fun time he would be having. And that he shouldn't worry over Twilight, that was good of him.

Spike, somehow with a replenished ice cream cone, said, “I don't get it. If Future-Twilight wasn't warning you about a disaster, then what was she trying to tell you?”

Twilight started giggling, the stress has clearly affected her more than it seemed, “I don't know, but I do know one thing: I look ridiculous.”

“Yeah, you do!” Spike heartily agreed.

“And it;s all because I couldn't stop worrying and let the future handle itself!” Twilight continued, “Well, not anymore! From now on, I’m going to solve problems as they come, and stop worrying about every little thing!”

The Forgemaster laughed, he laughed until his sides hurt, he laughed until scrolls started falling from the draft he created, he laughed for a long time, and it was good.

Despite the loud noise, Spike managed to say, “That's great! Does that mean there won't be any more late night pacing?”

“No more late night pacing, “ Twilight confirmed, making The Forgemaster laugh even more, “If only I had learned this lesson a week ago, we wouldn't have had to go through all this.”

Suddenly: Pinkie Pie, “Twilight, Twilight! I found something!” Pinkie held up an unrolled scroll, which Twilight promptly took in her magical grip, the lazy bastard.

Twilight was reading the scroll, “It doesn't stop time,” Pinkie continued, “But it let's you go back in time. It says you can only go back once, and it only lasts for a few moments. Does that help?”

The Forgemaster was suddenly silent, realizing the implications of the discovery. He sat up from his lovely lounging place, but did not yet stand.

“Pinkie, you're a genius!” Twilight exclaimed.

Pinkie bounced in joy, “Woohoo!”

“Now I can go back and tell Past-Twilight that she doesn't need to go berserk with worry about a disaster that's never gonna come!”

Twilight hunched over, magical power flowing through her horn. For his part, The Forgemaster grabbed her tail with one hand, tagging along for the ride in the crudest way possible. He still projected a shield around himself, Time was pretty corrosive after all, and held on for all he was worth. Books and scrolls went flying, but Twilight didn't seem to notice her extra baggage.

And, with a bright flash, they were back in the library. He abruptly realized his ass was hanging over nothing, and stood up. He ignored Twilight as she went and started talking to Past-Twilight, and instead went to his Past-Self.

He saw the face of himself and grinned beneath his mask, “Yeah, I know. I had that thought too...”

End.

I am hardly what one might call a man, if one could even call me a man by this point, of ambition. Truthfully, power is not something I seek, despite my relatively large amount of it. Control is not something I desire, despite my position of authority… I just sort of stumble into it. I have commanded great respect and great authority in my long lifetime, more than any could comprehend. I have been and felled kings, I have raised great armies and set entire nations ablaze, I am relatively certain that some people in the Congo still worship me to this day, but that is beside the point. Yet these things… they happened on a whim of mine, or on accident. I am not proud of them, why should I be? Proud of an accident? A mistake? A thing of boredom? Foolishness. Of all the things I have done, I am most proud of the things I did for me, by me, and far from anyone's sight, for these things are mine and mine alone. But… I also enjoy doing such things in the full view of others, on occasion, and delight in their obliviousness. I am old, morality barely factors into my efforts to stave off that most hated of feelings: boredom.

I am a loner, yet I often get lonely. This irritates me. I wish I could have just one and not the other. Finding little enjoyment in the presence of others, yet offset by a large desire for the presence of others after a long time. Like a terrible drug addiction with no cure. Although, perhaps, it is possible that in my past I have tried to cure one of my most unfortunate of maladies, for I have uncovered evidence of manipulation upon my mind that bears striking resemblance to magics only I could perform. My life is longer than I care to know, yet I know that it has lasted longer than I can remember. With a slate wiped clean, enjoyment could be had. Perhaps I became bored? Perhaps I suffered? Perhaps the burden grew too much, the memories cast away and a new being born anew? Perhaps I held a different title then, perhaps a name. Perhaps I cared then, perhaps the spell misfired, yet perhaps this was intended. Perhaps… perhaps all is as it should be, and I am seeing something where there is nothing.

I don't care, and that's bad. But I recognize it as bad, so that's good. My morals range, and that's bad. But I try, and that's good. There is a method and meaning to my madness. I could have made the Earth a paradise on a whim, but to what end? Suffering replaced with complacency and stagnation, I prefer suffering. But the Earth is still alive. I am not so heartless. Thrice could the reign of man been unsettled by a careless disaster, and thrice have I prevented the occurrence. Mankind is mine, whether it knows it or not. And, like a cruel child, I care not for my toys, yet I will never let another touch them. Man stands alone, yet outside interference has been thwarted by my hand. As all good scientists know, interference ruins the experiment.

Yet I am without ambition, I plan for myself but I have no great overarching scheme. I have no desire to change the world, only my particular circumstance or something that I have interest in for the moment. Helping others and their plans is an enjoyment of mine. Watching someone create, put their soul into their work, watching someone play at being God, there things are my entertainment. Letting someone else call the shots with a terribly efficient assistant was fun, watching the people of the world plot and scheme against the others was interesting. Like a self-insert fanficiton, only it was my life! Such merriment, for a time. Yet I lack ambition, for the game is only fun if others can play. If only I sit at the board, who would I play against? Who would I watch playing? Boredom. Far better to remove myself or play with a handicap, then the game has meaning to the players for they have the delusion of a chance of victory, or the maniacal thought that they might change the world with their actions.

I could have raised a golden palace the size of Asia and commanded the world to my satisfaction. Yet that thought bores me. Watching others through trials and tribulations, through successes and failures, these things are my entertainment. And creating, shaping, crafting, changing, but for myself and my will, and no other. Blades, weaponry, tools, devices beyond counting and description have passed through my hands, beginning as useless lumps of mineral, and ending with a useful device. Creation, the finest gift ever given to Man. The power to change what something is into its full potential. The power to watch as it crumbles to dust. The power of affecting the world or choosing not to. Such power…

Boredom befell me as the world became stagnant once more, after a period of delicious action and reaction and conflict and heroes and villains. Like a television series that has stopped making new episodes, I grew bored. I lusted for more. The world only entertains me if it is in motion, a tapestry can be viewed a thousand times, never changing, but if the tapestry could move with a mind of its own; oh, such sweet elegance! With the great climax of the conflict between the Americans and the Russians over with, the world fell into their common everyday squabbles once more. Boring.

The Middle East continued to be its rambunctious, backwards self which provided some interest, at least. To think they used to be a great center of learning, with knowledge pouring through every scholar's mind while the Europeans had their Dark Age. Now they can't so much as walk down the street without being flogged or stoned or some other dreadfully ancient punishment in some places, and in others they cannot even enjoy an American comedian without the Religious police arresting the lot of them. I enjoy the occasional throw back, but it's everyday with these people. Fundamentalist dogs.

I desired a change. So I thought and I planned, before stumbling across a possibility that intrigued me. What better change for the world than a kingdom, seemingly displaced in time, suddenly appearing and gracing the world with its presence? The conflicts, the heroes, the villains, the story; fascinating, what would have resulted might have captured my attention for generations. Easily done, as well; it was simplicity itself to kidnap numerous children from around the globe, about a million in all, and seclude them in some forgotten part of the Himalayas. There, their minds were to be shaped to my will. A whole kingdom of devout artisans existed under my rule, their God very much alive and amongst them, constantly creating to seek favor from their Father; glorious. One piece added to the board, and of such antique craftsmanship, why, it could have and would have radically altered the world! Led by my hand, until such time as I felt they could stand on their own for a bit, the world would have had to contend with an ancient society of virtuous people.

It might have been fun had a simple trip for supplies gone magically awry.

Then the ponies! How infinitely interesting! A change, a glorious change! A fantastical new world to explore, a whole new species, magic! Oh… it was fun. I made friends, had some adventures, made things, and found someone else to command me! Truly, it was paradise.

Immortals seemingly made just to be my companions, each with their own intricate story and personality! We could shape history together, creating a marvelous tapestry that never ends!

It still is a paradise, now that I think about it. So much is new here, I simply must explore. I haven't even killed an Equestrian dragon yet! Just one of their pigmy hydras. It's literally a world filled with fun and fantasy! Imagine the stereotypical evil creatures that must reside here, just out of my sight! If I didn't have a wedding to attend, I might hear the road calling my name, begging me to traverse it with great, bipedal strides! A master of the Earth will walk this land!

This world is a story book, but my favorite role has always been the wise wizard, gently guiding the scions and heroes to their inevitable destiny, fully prepared. Think! The possibilities, what I can do, the fun! I can do anything and everything. Within moral reason, however, some mortals may think me a monster, and they would be correct if we used their system of morality, but I use my own. Don't kill randomly or without purpose. Don't cause suffering randomly or without purpose. Simplicity itself. I think it's a rather fine system, if you ask me. But these things take time, shaping others properly. I could do it in but an instant, but where's the sport? I'm not a monster, taking and changing minds with a snap of my fingers. More powerful personalities can and will resist, and I let them.

For instance, a monster would burn and loot a village because it was there. I, on the other hand, would wait until the village in question somehow offended before doing something rather similar, though likely more subtle. A monster would brainwash the masses to secure its power. I would let the masses think their own thoughts as they couldn't really affect my power if they tried their damnest.

I have time, however. I always do. I will take it and use it to slowly, gracefully experience what this world has to offer, suck the damned marrow out of its bones!

Spike expressed interest in a bachelor party far after it was appropriate to have one, though he is far too young to either attend or plan one. But Shining Armor still needed one, a rather smashing one I might add, and it fell to his self-appointed best man to plan it. I have friends now, time to act like one! The party in question had almost everything, though apparently my favorite narcotics were unacceptable. There was dancing, music, streamers, balloons, many of his nearest and dearest except for his future-wife, and a whore or two. It wouldn't be a bachelor party if there wasn't a whore, though I initially wasn't sure if Mister 'Fine Merchandise' was up to the task of providing for a bachelor party of this magnitude... I think he might have done a good job? I'm not sure about the matter. My heart and associated organs are devoted to the one pony I feel mildly attracted to. Coincidentally; I feel beyond sexually neutral to every single pony ever. Though I am happy to report that Shining Armor took one look at the mares, and then immediately shied away, mumbling something or other. Either he has moral integrity, or his wife has him on a short leash. Perhaps both. Perhaps neither.

Of course, all of this was held far from the wrath of his bride-to-be or aunts-to-be. Some random city was selected for the event, under the clever pseudonym of 'Gleaming Aegis'. Hehehe, he was so mad! He felt it was like shouting his name to every self-respecting pony in the city that Canterlot's Captain of the Guard was getting his rocks socked off in their humble little demesne. I would say that Shining Armor needs to lighten up, but with his hot head he might very well start floating away with the breeze…

Hell, apparently, I knew about the event way before anyone else did. Even Twilight.

Even Twilight.

She takes us all, and by 'all' I mean her only friends ever, on some picnic. She made a few derogatory remarks about my and Spike's species before singing a bit. Seriously, she had this bit about BBBFF (big brother best friends forever) and then Applejack declared herself and the other ponies in the entourage to be PBFF (pony best friends forever), completely ignoring my and Spike's species. Well, naturally I had to act the part of disgruntled white man and picked up Spike by the tail and walked away, raising an awful stink. Twilight was so nerdy in her apology. Spike was trying not to care, but I could tell that he was deeply affected by Twilight's casual disregard of him. Maybe. I'm not so good with dragons, to be honest. I'm very rarely good with people either. What do they call it when you don't know what's socially acceptable because you have barely interacted with society for longs stretches of time? And you barely care? Sociopathic tendencies?

Then we actually had the wedding itself some time later.

Giant. Pink. Bubble shield. All courtesy of the one stallion that all the ladies love, and all the stallions would love to be. The color most associated with homosexuality besides the entire rainbow. I might have absolutely ripped all over him for that, but he had it coming.

Worst. Infiltration. Ever.

I made that chitinous wench the very instant I got within smelling distance. How not a single pony in Canterlot was able to smell bugs all over the place was beyond me. They're supposed to have good, animal-esque noses. Though my senses and instinct are far superior to modern man, apparently I'm an older model, but only slightly older, like back when cars wouldn't be totaled from a fender bender, I'm that old car; still useable, and in some aspects far superior. Then there was the fact that she acted like a bitch beyond comparison.

No one noticed.

Oh my various and diverse Gods…

I walked down halls. I saw bugs. They may have worn the faces of ponies, but they were incredibly stupid. They didn't talk. Ever. Silent as the bloody grave. Silent as the vacuum of space with noise cancelling ear phones. Silent as the ninja are thought to be in common culture. I actually found one in my office, pretending to be me in my pony form. Do you know how stupid that is? Impersonating someone before you've got them tagged and bagged? While mute? And smelly? So he was the first to die, they do leave an interesting blood splatter all over my room, I'll tell you that much.

And the little bugger messed my paperwork up three ways to death. He tried to take ALL my guards and scatter them throughout the entire city in little, tiny groups. Just the sort of groups that would easily be taken out by ambushes, and have their identities stolen. Or in preparation for some random invasion, where resistance would be widespread, but ultimately ineffectual. So I whip out my extra-large, custom made 'NO' stamp, and started stamping around a bit before immediately telling the various lieutenants and sergeants to stay in groups of fifteen, minimum, while patrolling the city.

So I figure that anyone ballsy enough to try and infiltrate Canterlot will probably be there in person. Then, I figure that anyone who's arrogant enough to think that attacking Canterlot is doable would be the highest ranking possible stolen identity.

Naturally, I decided to confront the head bitch in charge and found her singing to herself in Cadence's chambers about how she planned on taking over Equestria or some such nonsense, with love of all things. I call her out on her bullshit, and she tries to act as though she wasn't just singing about conquering Equestria right in front of me. And she also acts as though I weren't the one that introduced her and Shining. And she smells. And she acts very bitchy, the exact opposite of sweet, sweet Cadence candy. Basically, if you ever try infiltrating the pony equivalent of Buckingham Palace or the White House, don't do what this insect tried.

At the end of that conversation, I decided to not do anything. I felt like seeing an incompetent invasion happen real time, the only invasions I've ever been a part of involved me winning. She zapped me with some kind of mind control ray which was so very, very ineffective against me and my natural resistances. This ray allowed me to leave the room under the pretense of her control, but I really just wanted to see how this would turn out. Use a mind control ray on me? Please; I will have that critter stuffed and mounted in my office by day's end.

Worst infiltrator ever plus the most naïve bunch of critters I've ever known equals what? A bug invasion of Canterlot. The ponies, somehow, failed to notice Madam Bug Horse the First. Only Twilight noticed the fake Cadence and it even took her forever, and she was apparently her babysitter for the longest time! I had her made in about two to three seconds, proving my natural human superiority. Then, she decides to call the fake bug critter Cadence out in the middle of a huge crowd, and everyone gives her the mental and pony equivalent of 'screw you' before leaving. Even Celestia, the head horse in charge. Though in retrospect, Celestia did know and so did Luna. She just decided not to tell anyone, probably as a test of character or maybe strength for Twilight. Letting Twilight be sent to the underworld slash crystal caverns was strange on her part. What if the bug thing had sent her to the bottom of the ocean or something? Celestia wouldn't have known. And if you're unaware of just what would happen if a unicorn was teleported to the bottom of the sea would do, I'll give you a hint: pop, blood, and instant death.

So I still have to act like I have no idea what's going on while Celestia gives me all of these sly glances, silent laughs, and mysterious grins as she watches the bug's admittedly sub-par performance.

Hell, Celestia 'losing' in that little fight was the cheesiest thing I've ever seen.

Yadda yadda yadda, things happen, rocks fall everyone dies, etc, etc.

I was about to land an unsuspecting beat down on the bug queen once every one decided to fight her in the throne room, but then it turned out that Celestia was going to do that. Then fail. Then I had to act like the terrible, second-too-slow bodyguard and try to attack the bug queen from behind, only to be 'blasted' out of the windows by the 'overwhelming power of love beams'. I felt compelled to see how Twilight and her gang would react, so I decided to not even try to help and just sort of shadowed those adorable little ponies I've come to know and appreciate as living things. You know, see how they do, give a report on how bad they sucked, maybe give them some fighting experience the old fashioned way with direct mind-to-mind memory transference, originally designed by the great mystics of the stickiest, ickiest, swamp jungle ever.

They behaved surprisingly poorly. Though considering my standards are set at 'win with no scratches', it's understandable that they would fall short, but damn did they fall short!

They get captured after putting up a considerably violent fight. I didn't even have to step in more than a half dozen times, though invisibly. I must have been rubbing off on them in some way.

Damn I'm good; influencing other people's minds without trying or actually wanting to. But they still got captured, and I didn't feel like revealing myself to the group. Let them taste a little of failure, give them a little fire to prevent capture next time. Or they'll suffer some horrible thing that most female prisoners eventually suffer. So I kept a close eye on them while under considerable invisibility spells. Damn I'm thoughtful. And good, have you tried to sneak while invisible without actually sneaking? Whoa; tough stuff.

Then some more things happen while Luna and the Guard absolutely annihilate the bug critters outside, I thought I heard them be referred to as changelings or something but I didn't particularly care. I was coordinating the ass-kicking efforts outside with my GREAT and TERRIBLE intelligence, while using the voice that my horse is known for. I felt as though he hasn't been out much, mostly because I don't care for him. I don't know if the head queen was into some form of ridiculous masochism, as the bugs apparently have a hive mind, but I saw an indescribable lack of skill in every action the changelings took. Droves of changelings died, only for a drove and a half of changelings to appear from behind the killed changelings as they climbed over their own fallen.

Hilarious.

Hell, Broken Bulb and Shattered Globe held down an entire wing of the castle alone. I figured that, you know him being a spy and all, he would suck at fighting in the open. But then I realized the significance of being a master martial artist of a unicorn school; dude was channeling lightning and electric fire through every surface including the air. Everything that got near him vaporized, especially the idiotic changelings that bum-rushed him. I might very well have to give him a congratulatory aloe vera plant. I noticed some substantial electric burns near his horn and eye balls, those have to sting. I suppose that comes with channeling lightning into everything.

Some of the Guard were captured instead of killed, no one knows why. But the vast majority fought for a long time, just about until the queen and all changelings were most violently expelled, (less than a half hour), by an embarrassingly pink sphere of magic. You seriously do NOT want to know what happened to the changelings that were indoors while it happened. Some stinks do not wash out and some stains cannot be Frebreezed. Or vice versa.

So, all's well that ends well, the power of love overcomes, the adorable princess and her shiny hubby live happily ever after. Except Shining Armor got fired. No one was expecting that. It sure was funny though, but seriously a guard that can't tell when he's being mind-controlled is fairly useless in a position of leadership. So now I'll have to go through a laborious process of finding a replacement. Way to go Captain Shiny Shield.

But I had to go and hunt down a Queen. Because no one thought to check if they had wings before they were repelled. And I had a blank spot near my Double Headed Lion pelt rug.

Woo… she was in no way shape or form a doozy or difficult to kill or hunt. You'd figure that catching a bird launched through the sky would be hard to track on account of its wings, and you'd be right. But changelings are stupid. Most of the survivors flocked towards the Queen, and they were easy to track. And easy to kill. A well learned maxim from Earth served just as well here; 'Fire kills bugs.' Unsurprisingly, it also cooks bugs. Which make for strange delicacies in some countries. And my stomach.

I also get an amazingly realistic stuffed changeling Queen out of the deal, its face still twisted in terror from the moment before its death. It decorates my office with extreme prejudice. Celestia tries to come in and tell me that it's not really appropriate on occasion, but we have come to a casual, unspoken understanding on the matter. I keep my trophies, she gets her cake.

You might think that that would be the logical end of this most glorious of poorly planned, poorly executed, and ill-advised invasions, but no; Cadence and her husband immediately get shipped off to rule some ass-backwards icy hell hole that's been suspended in time for 1000 years or something by a huge dick. Well, I suppose it's better than making Shiny be a stay-at-home-not-a-dad-yet. Get him a job being some prince in some backwater. Maybe he'll send me a letter, asking for money so that he could reopen his bank account and promise to send me even more later, or some strange excuse like it. Heh; Nigeria.

But I didn't go on that adventure. It sounded far too stereotypical for me.

And, well… you know. They kind of forgot to invite me. Seriously. They literally forgot. I watched them leave. I helped pack their bags. I gave them casual advice. Not once did they stop, turn around, and ask me with those big, puppy dog eyes, 'Forgey, do you want to come with us.' Nope, not even once. Damn them. Off in some amazing winter vacation destination and I get to mind my house like a filthy casual. I'm going to whip out my duke card and start laying laws around here. I do that when I'm upset. Or do I?

But, for now, I am content.

I have a house, a job, a blue alien babe.

I have friends too, that's a plus.

Do you have a blue alien babe? Be jealous.

Do you have a house? Be jealous.

Do you have a job? Be jealous.

Do you have friends? I hope so.

And pity me, if you please, for Rainbow's wrath knows no bounds and I am usually willing to let it take its course. Because it's fun. And a change.

But remember most of all, if there's a lesson to be taken from all of this; a woman that can stand on her own four legs while calling you out on your bullshit is priceless. Ignoring the fact that a four legged human would be simultaneously terrifying and priceless to scientists.

And, she puts up with my bullshit.

Like random catapults.

And constant asking for a double rainbow and seeing all the misconceptions that she thinks it might mean.

And horse jokes.

And random angsty emotionally bitchitude.

And playing dress up.

And hatred for Communism.

Verily and truly, I feel as though this place isn't half bad, despite it missing most if not all of the cool shit I made back home…

I wonder how Azodious is. Or that old Thomas Gemenescious. Or Robert 'Billy Billy Willy Slick Jilly my Nilly Zilly' Robertson. I dearly hope that they didn't screw it all up too badly. So close; almost two generations in, one more and I would have sent them out to the world! Or invited the world in!

But the past is behind; and the world is ahead!

And there are so very many paths to tread!

Such wonderful people and stories to tell!

With fantastical, evil clichés to fell!

Many wonders of existence to explore!

And maybe a dozen courtesans or more!

Through hell and high water, the world will be mine!

Through deceits, guile, and cunning, the world is mine!

Oh, this is going to be fun.

Chapter 1

In the old realm of Azodious there were many men to be respected, and feared.

But chief among them all, even greater than his own king, was The Forgemaster.

Yet on one day, The Forgemaster was no more.

The Forgemaster was a true giant among men. He was 7 feet tall and built like an ox, as all smiths soon come to be. The Forgemaster was an ancient being. Some say that in his quest for the perfect smithing techniques, he stumbled across immortality. What a strange occurrence, searching for smithing techniques and discovering the Fountain of Youth! If he truly has found the secret to lasting youth, he had not shared it with anyone, though it is not known how and in what way he is immortal.. The Forgemaster was a master of all types of smithing, as his title implies. But he became so wealthy and his name so well known, that he was able to obtain learning in mostly everything. His teachers described him as a sponge, soaking up all the knowledge they had to offer. By the time of his disappearance, he was a genius, knowing almost all things: from architecture to agriculture, grand strategy to economics, The Forgemaster knew it all. But he is mostly remembered for his creations.

His creations were said to be forged like those of a god's possessions: his shields stronger than any wall, his swords sharper than any razor, and his armour able to receive any blow unscathed. The Forgemaster's creations have spawned many a legend, some greater than the heroes who wielded them. The Hammer of Revelations, for instance, was credited with many, many feats while the men who wielded it, great men all, were not. Even today, 300 years after he has left us, his relics are sought after as the pinnacle of engineering and smithing.

It is known that, while he was still alive, his personality left much to be desired. It was said he rarely spoke, and only did so in the most grave of circumstances. The few accounts of his speech reveal that he was blunt, to the point, and that his voice was so deep, you felt it in your gut before you heard it with your ears. In fact, most of his communications seemed to be glares and other non-verbal communications, judging from the diaries of frightened individuals who met him. One account describes an ambassador becoming so frustrated with his lack of speech that he insulted The Forgemaster in a most colorful manner. The Forgemaster's simple response? He just picked him up (Yes, literally), walked over to a window, and dropped him from the 3rd floor of the castle!

No one knew The Forgemaster's name as he was known by his title only. He was a figure of great mystery and constantly wore a large cloak and a large brimmed hat. We don't even have a decent account of what his face looked like! Descriptions range from a half-demon/half-elf face and others described him as not having a face at all. Complete rubbish, everyone has a face, some accounts are just so stupid! However, the only reliable thing we know of his appearance was that he was very tall and that he dressed up in copious amounts of clothing.

I've studied the mystery that is The Forgemaster for many a year now. But we don't have a very good or very accurate account of what happened to him during his disappearance. The only thing we've been able to confirm through royal correspondence is that one day The Forgemaster was contacted by a king from a distant kingdom, requesting his presence. The Forgemaster left with only his most prized possession (A set of gauntlets with retractable claws attached to them, forged by himself and enchanted by the best magi's he could hire), the clothes on his back, and a large bag full of ingots of various metals. He walked off into the Yeltian forests and never came back out.

Others have claimed to be him, but I've seen little actual proof of these being the original.

From the chronicles of Thomas Gemenesious

Court Scholar and Master Magician

Chapter 6

The Forgemaster awoke to the sound of stone being shifted. He was a bit groggy and didn't know where he was. But then the events of the previous day and nights came to him in a storm. They were finally getting him out of his prison after who knows how long! As a few more stones were moved out of the way, he suddenly broke out the rest of the way under his own power, showering 8 nearby ponies with rocks. He looked at them and saw 6 familiar ponies and 2 much larger ponies with both wings and horns. One of the new ponies looked like a smaller, bluer version of Nightmare Moon; the other was a very large, white pony. He looked at the group of ponies and noticed that the 6 he was accustomed to seeing had necklaces on, and Twilight had on a crown. As he stood there, brushing the stone dust off of his body, Twilight Sparkle came up to his legs and started to give him the closest thing to a hug the ponies could do. He froze at the touch and looked down at her. Twilight noticed the wound he received from the manticore and gasped, but he just waved her off. Twilight then looked towards the 2 new ponies. She then started to speak.

"I would like to introduce you to Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria." Twilight indicated the larger of the 2 newcomers. She was as tall as he was, with a white coat and a multi-colored mane that moved on its own without there being a breeze.

In response, he simple looked at the Princess.

"It's nice to meet you creature. I heard how you saved my little ponies' lives, and I wanted to thank you. But, I've never seen anypony who looks like you. Can you tell me who and what you are?" This was Princess Celestia speaking to The Forgemaster.

Now, The Forgemaster was known for disliking royalty, mostly because they assumed their power, not earned it. It was due to this natural fact about The Forgemaster and the fact that he didn't speak much which led to his next response.

He continued to look at her, neither reacting nor responding.

Princess Celestia frowned, and then tried again, "Hello, can you understand me? I asked you what you were and what your name was. I know you can speak, the intelligence in your eyes is obvious, respond!"

More staring.

"Look creature, I can see it in your eyes. You are intelligent. Surely you must find some discomfort in being called a creature?" Celestia calmly stated.

No response.

"If you don't respond, then I cannot help you. An unknown and possibly dangerous variable in my land won't be tolerated."

At this, he got upset. He could remain in a prison forever, seeing as he was immortal, but that didn't mean he liked it. So he ejected the claws from their housings on his gauntlets, a clear and threatening sign of displeasure, and continued to stare her down.

With this, Celestia turned to Twilight and said, "My faithful student, do you know anything about this creature, its name or if it understands us?"

Twilight frowned at The Forgemaster then recounted the entire tale since they met, leaving out basically nothing, "…. And so to answer your questions, Princess, I don't know if it can understand us. I mean it never reacts when we speak, it only looks at whoever is speaking, but that could be explained with the fact that the creature has ears! Just look at it, it stood there the entire time while we talked about it. Not to mention we keep calling it: it or the creature! I don't even know if it can speak or if it is intelligent, you said you could see intelligence in its eyes, but I can't. But it never responds to us, so maybe it just can't speak our language."

Princess Celestia listened to her student, not interrupting her once. At the end she looked at The Forgemaster, she looked him up and down, studying him; she then looked into his eyes with just a hint of a smile on her lips. She turned to the group of ponies and spoke.

"No, he definitely knows what we're saying... and he seems to be uncomfortable. Tell me something, my little ponies. Have any of you determined this creature's gender?"

With that said, all the ponies shook their heads: no. All except Fluttershy who nodded: yes. The Forgemaster thought he knew what Celestia was getting at, and steeled himself.

"Fluttershy, what gender is this creature?"

Inaudible to all but Applejack, who was standing next to her, Fluttershy squeaked out, "Male."

Applejack was kind enough to relay that information to everypony else.

Celestia smiled, then played her trump card, "Fluttershy, how were you able to find out this creature's gender?"

Fluttershy turned a shade of red and tightened herself into a ball on the floor. The Forgemaster was right about what Celestia was doing, and steeled his emotions and poker-face even more to resist what was sure to come.

After a moment or 2 on the floor, Fluttershy managed to speak loudly enough for Applejack to hear, who then relayed the information once more.

"She said, 'We had tah cross ah river, but tha critter had tah swim, when 'e got out of tha water, he didn't have that mud on 'im. She looked over and saw his... er…'" She just waved at the creature, too embarrassed to continue.

Although, Applejack was far too embarrassed to finish her sentence, everypony present understood her. They all involuntarily looked back at him, looked between his legs, blushed, and then averted their gaze. All except Princess Celestia, who continually looked into The Forgemaster's eyes, searching for a reaction.

He gave none.

His earlier preparations were the only thing that didn't make him instinctively cover himself. If he hadn't known what Celestia had been getting at, his poker-face would have failed, his ruse would have failed, and he would have to explain his previous actions... It's annoying having your junk stared at by a bunch of tiny ponies. Unfortunately, he dodged one trap to land smack-dab in another.

“Don't think I didn't see that, you're hiding something. You want us to believe you aren't a sentient creature, don't you?" Celestia had hit the nail on the head, as it were, getting everything about what he was doing correctly.

However, The Forgemaster didn't feel the need to speak. In fact, he didn't even feel the need to stay there! And so, in the presence of the Elements, he turned around and walked away from the questions of the most powerful being in Equestria and its ruler.

The ponies seemed to b shocked at what he was doing. They had probably never seen their leader so obviously disrespected. With the shock delaying the ponies' actions, he managed to make it just in front of the door before it had slammed shut in his face. He then turned around to see an irate princess about 3 inches from him.

"Creature, you are staying here until you answer my questions."

The Forgemaster took this as a dare. He ran over to the nearby window, broke it, and was about to climb out before Celestia could kill him when Twilight Sparkle spoke up.

"Won't you please stay and answer the questions? We all want to get to know you. Please don't go, you're our friend!"

He was facing the window when these words were uttered. He knew that behind him were 6 adorable ponies with puppy-dog eyes looking at him. He sighed, mentally, and turned around to see exactly what he had known he was going to see: 6 of the cutest little ponies he had ever seen, all giving him puppy-dog eyes. As he saw this, he knew he was beat, so he turned to Celestia to answer her questions. He would have to speak for the first time in years, just to satisfy the curiosity of 6 ponies he thought were cute.

The Princess and he looked at each other for a long moment before Celestia had the bright idea to start first.

"What are you then?"

With a much deeper voice, and much more hesitation, than anypony expected, he replied, "Human."

"What is your name, human?"

"The Forgemaster."

"That sounds more like a title, human."

At this, he shrugged.

"What is a human?"

"Bipedal, omnivorous, relatively hyper-intelligent, apex-predator, tool users, dominant species" He said the last with just a hint of mirth before continuing with, "maybe."

"So you eat meat?" Celestia said with disgust. He looked to the other ponies to find they had the same face.

He replied, "I can eat meat." She shuddered once before going back to her questions.

"And what do you mean; dominant species, maybe?"

"Haven't seen another human, therefore not dominant here."

"Where are you from and what are you doing here?"

"Azodious, to visit an old friend."

"Where is Azodius, and who is this old friend?"

"Don't know in relation to here, King Haydrian."

"Why are you naked?"

"Don't know, why are they?" He indicated the other ponies.

"They have coats to cover their bodies, they don't need clothes. I suppose we are going to have to get clothes for you. Do you have any questions for me?"

"3."

“…..And they are?"

"Clothes. Shelter. Task."

"What do you mean?"

"Naked, nowhere to go, bored."

"Oh, I understand," she turned to the 6 ponies and said, "He needs clothes Rarity. He also needs someplace to stay, Twilight." She looked back to the Forgemaster and said, "What are you good at?"

He shrugged, "Title says."

"That's obvious really, you're a smith?"

He nodded.

"Before I let you leave here, I must ask you something. Give me your honest and true description of a Man."

He snorted then spoke, "Basically good, capable of great evil, capable of great good. Impossible to describe without sufficient knowledge."

Princess Celestia looked upset at the part where he said evil, so The Forgemaster immediately added, "I am not evil. I have lived too long for that."

"So how long have you lived?"

"Many centuries."

"Do all humans live so long?"

"No, I'm different."

“How so?”

“I'm immortal.”

"What! You're immortal! How?"

He looked at her, shrugged, and then said, "Too stubborn to die."

"There is only one thing I could do that would allow me to fully trust you, another immortal."

He looked at her as though he knew what was coming.

"I am going to have to go through you memories."

And with that request, he smiled, mentally. He was a learned magus himself. Few knew that you could silently resist a memory search without alerting the searcher by directing the flow of your memories. There was also the chance of learning of the other individual during the spell.

A thought came to him, a quote from a book on mind spells, 'If your mind is being violated by another's, whether willingly or unwillingly, remember that the other is extremely vulnerable to a mind search of their own. So if you're getting your mind searched, direct their mind away from important things and direct your mind against the current of the spell to find their mind. Once there, the caster of the spell will be too focused on your mind to notice you rifling through theirs.'

With a plan in place and his mind prepared, he nodded at Celestia to begin the spell. As her horn lit up, he felt another presence access his mind. He dropped his mental shields and directed this presence towards what it wanted. Or at least what it thought it wanted. He checked to see that Celestia would be well occupied with useless memories for several minutes, saw that she was, and then leapt across the metaphoric gap between minds and landed in Celestia's head. He could have done what Celestia did; look through his memories while in his mind, but that wasn't fast enough and tie was of the essence. So what he did was basically copy her entire brain and placed it under lock and key at the back of his head. It wouldn't do to have a sudden overflow of Celestia's memories while Celestia was in his head: it would alert her to what he did. So with his booty secure, he 'sat back' and watched as Celestia went through his memories… and smiled when she found nothing of value.

Celestia eventually got tired of looking through memories of him sleeping, walking, watching others in a king's court, and endlessly forging; basically the more positive and neutral aspects of his life, for that was all The Forgemaster allowed her to see, she tried to look around his mind more but still got the same memories. It was like, whenever she moved, he moved the memories to follow her through his mind. But that was impossible! Only a hugely powerful magic-user could deflect her probe, but she didn't sense any magic in him at all. However, there was one memory that intrigued her. A recent memory of him getting a letter, walking out of a room, into a city, then finally a forest where he set down to rest. When the memory got to where he woke up, the forest was different.

Celestia came to a realization: 'This human really didn't know how he got there! And apparently there was an entire town of humans in the Everfree forest. But that was impossible; there were no clearings in the Everfree large enough to house the town she saw in his memories. So that left one possibility: he was from someplace else and arrived here with the aid of magic!'

Celestia withdrew from his mind. As she regained control of her body once more, she looked at the human to see that he had a small, almost unnoticeable smile on his lips. Celestia wondered what made the human so happy, for if his earlier performance was anything to judge by; it took some extreme emotion to break through his emotionless face.

With that, Celestia said,"Alright, I will let you stay in my realm, human. Come everypony, we must get back to Ponyville."

Chapter 24

Crimson Hammer's Cloud House

Pinkie Pie had been preparing the cloud house for a party for many hours now. She was ecstatic that the new pony had volunteered his own home for the party. When questioned by Twilight as to how she was going to throw the party on a cloud-house, Pinkie's cryptic response was, "Physics!". Twilight had quickly stopped asking after that, she just assumed that it was Pinkie being Pinkie. The party had been ready for several minutes so Pinkie sent Rainbow Dash to collect her friends and the residents of Ponyville. After a while, Rainbow Dash arrived with Fluttershy so she was sent back out to get the newest pony in Ponyville.

Everything was ready, the drinks prepared, the snacks baked, the decorations set up, and the party-goers gathered. The only thing left out was the most important part: the pony the party was being thrown for! Pinkie looked out the window to see a rainbow streak on a bee-line for the house. She quickly silenced the other ponies in the room.

"Quiet everypony! Dashie is here with Crimson Hammer!"

The ponies all quieted down after that. The rainbow streak didn't slow down as it approached the house. She just flew straight through the doors to be on the receiving end of a very loud; "SURPRISE!"

"Twilight!" Rainbow screamed straight back at the crowd, which was disappointed that the new pony wasn't with her. A pink blur tackled Rainbow Dash out of the air.

"Dashie! Where's the new colt?"

"Pinkie, get off me! Where's Twilight?" Rainbow gasped, out-of-breath from her mad rush to the cloud-house.

Twilight approached the pair as Pinkie was getting off of Rainbow Dash.

"What do you need Rainbow?" the lavender unicorn asked.

"Twilight! The new guy, he's a criminal!" she screamed.

"What? Really? How do you know?" asked Twilight, all questions as usual.

"That stallion, he was singing about how he was wanted by the guards… dead or alive." She whispered the last 3 words.

"I'm sure you just misheard him, Rainbow." Twilight said, her voice sounding hollow.

"No I didn't, Twilight. It was ridiculously obvious what he was saying." Her eyes got a hard, determined look to them," We gotta clear these ponies out, I got a plan…"

20 Minutes Later

Crimson Hammer slowly made his way back to his house. He was in no hurry; the party had to wait for him after all! He had a feeling it would be a surprise party, and his feelings were rarely wrong. However, as he landed in front of his door, something was off. He knew there were ponies inside his home, but not the multitudes Pinkie would normally invite. Perhaps she had a small party planned instead? Just her and the other Elements? He opened the door to find a dark room, with 6 ponies that were trying to hide and failing, miserably. He stood in the doorway, looking in.

"If you wanted to shout 'Surprise' you should have done it sooner. The 6 of you aren't very good at surprises."

He flipped the light-switch to unveil who was in the room. As expected, it was the 6 Elements of Harmony. They looked at him in shock, and anger.

'Probably upset that I knew they were here.' He thought.

He walked past the ponies and into his kitchen. It wasn't very well stocked, however. He still managed to make himself a sandwich. He sat down at the table in his dining room with his sandwich and an empty glass, back towards the window with the rainbow falls past it. The mares walked in and took the other seats at his table, all of them with serious, stern, and aggressive faces on. At this sign of obvious displeasure, The Forgemaster began to wonder what was going on. There obviously wasn't a party, as there were no decoration in the other room, and these 6 looked upset.

He looked up from his sandwich, which looked unappetizing right then, and said, "What?"

The ponies just continued to stare him down. Inwardly, he was tickled by their display. Outwardly, he gave a stare similar to theirs.

'HAHAHA! They think they're so tough, well I can fix that!'

In an impressive display of silliness, Crimson Hammer opened the window behind him, reached out with his glass, and filled it full of rainbow. He looked back at the mares, whose stares hadn't yet broken although they were confused, and drank the whole glass.

Hey was surprised by how spicy the rainbow was, but it was nothing compared to a Trinidad Moruga Scorpion pepper. Those things hurt. However, the looks on the faces of the mares in his dining room were worth any discomfort he might have felt. He was giggling on the inside, but on the outside he had his poker-face on. The mares were astounded by this feat of willpower and it showed on their faces.

He waited for them to regain control of their faces. Silliness over, The Forgemaster sat down and prepared to get talked to furiously. However, that didn't stop him from poking fun at them. He crossed his hooves in front of him and leaned over the table in a businesslike manner.

"I assume you are wondering why I brought you all here, today." He said, completely serious.

The girls freaked out when he said this. Twilight had gone fiery death on her chair. Pinkie Pie had started to laugh her brains out. Rainbow Dash tried, and failed, to conceal a grin. Applejack just stared at him with more anger in her eyes. Fluttershy hid behind her mane. But, Rarity seemed to retain control of herself, and managed to speak for the group.

"All jesting aside, Crimson, we needed to speak with you about a matter that was brought to our attention." She said.

"If it is regards to the ponies in the attic, I know nothing about that." He replied

"What? You have ponies in the attic?" she asked, not realizing he wasn't serious because his voice didn't change.

"I know nothing about that." His voice remained the same.

"Ugh… We have to speak with you about something important, something serious, and we can't have you joking with us!" Rarity was getting upset now; the other mares were just watching the showdown between them.

"If it is in regards to the platoon of Royal Guards outside my house, I would be happy to speak with you."

Rarity did her best to look confused, "There are royal guards outside?"

Flashback

"Spike, send this letter to the princess immediately, we might need help with Crimson Hammer, the cloud-walking spell will only last so long, make sure you mark it as urgent." Twilight told Spike as her friends circled around them.

Rainbow Dash spoke, "Yeah, if he gets violent, we're gonna need those guards."

"I'm on it!" Spike said, and released a burst of green flame onto the scroll.

End Flashback

"They were quite obvious about it. Their commander is obviously inexperienced. I could see them from Ponyville's Town Hall: without a telescope."

"Oh… really?" came the eloquent unicorn's ineloquent response.

"Yes."

A few moments of silence were observed. Twilight started the discussion up again.

"Well, since we all know why we're here…" she began.

"I don't." said Crimson Hammer.

She seemed to be unable to continue, her mouth made movements but no discernible sound came out. So instead he turned to Applejack.

"Miss Applejack, as Twilight Sparkle is unable to answer, I humbly request that you do so."

She obliged him, "We're here 'cause Rainbow says that you may be ah criminal."

He turned to Rainbow Dash, "Really, Rainbow Dash? After all we've been through…"

She blushed but didn't avert her eyes, she said, "I heard you singing, criminal scum!" (A/N ; LOL.)

He sighed, "So you heard a song and immediately assumed that I was a criminal?"

"Well, no! The words of the song you sang…"

"Were just words, Rainbow Dash, they had no meaning to my situation." He sighed, "I can't believe that you heard a song and assumed I was a criminal, you ruined the party and wrecked some blooming friendships. Good going Dashie."

The mares didn't speak up, so he continued.

"Do you lot want to call off the Royal Guards, or will I have to fight them off? Either way is fine, although one has more long-term problems than the other does."

"Ah'm still not sure if we can trust yah… but Ah don't think you're a criminal, neither." Applejack said.

"YEAH! You're way too funny to be a dirty, nasty, meanie pants criminal!" Pinkie interjected.

"I'll go tell Commander Firespark that there is no trouble, and that you aren't a criminal." Twilight said as she left.

The ponies left one by one, until only he and Rainbow Dash remained.

"You going to leave too, Rainbow Dash? Or are you going to try to seduce me and stay the night?" he said.

"I'll… be going." She stood from the table and went for the door.

"Good night, Rainbow Dash."

She looked back, "Good night, Crimson."

She flew home slowly. For 2 reasons, number 1: her home is right next to Crimson's house. Number 2: she couldn't stop thinking of how Crimson had called her 'Dashie'.

Chapter 44- Love lift up edits where they belong~

Celestia eyed the 3 still sleeping griffons now inside her throne room, not the least bit surprised. At least, no one could tell whether or not she was. The Royal Guard had surrounded the 3 sleeping griffons, and they were looking for orders now.

With a single brow raised, she asked with an air of boredom in her voice, "So I see. Infiltrators?"

The Forgemaster smirked, "Nay, assassins. Poor ones, at that."

She sighed, "Yet more trouble from the griffons. Since those spies had been sent back to their master, they've been constantly testing our defenses and trying to infiltrate our government. Reports are coming in from our own spies detailing a large military build-up, as well as anti-Equestrian propaganda being spread throughout the griffon kingdom. They had yet to stoop to petty assassins, until now."

He grinned, "What, a few assassins ruin your day?"

She snorted, "Hardly. Guards, take these 3 to the dungeons, and make sure that they are completely separated from each other."

The Royal Guards took the 3 sleeping assassins and left the throne room, leaving several of their number behind to guard the princess.

The Forgemaster scratched his chin, "Maybe I should give you the rundown. I think I broke the leader, the other one might be broken, but the youngest is probably scared to holy hell but otherwise completely fine. You know, if the griffons are building up for war, Equestria should probably do the same."

She nodded and came down from her throne to stand next to him, "I know, Forgemaster, and that is already being done. In the mean time, however, we will be waging a shadow war with the griffons. Spies, assassins, and saboteurs will have to be trained and readied. But, the main event will be the war. We will need to train the Royal Guards and inflate the numbers of Equestrian Army to combat the griffons."

She walked away from him and bade him to follow.

"I could always forge a Battle-Titan; one of those could end the war by itself."

She looked through The Forgemaster's memories and found the weapon he described. She shuddered at the thought of using one of those. It appeared to be a massive bipedal walker armed with weapons that could destroy armies with singular attacks, along with most of the area around where the weapon had been targeted.

She groaned, "Forgemaster, I would like to leave the griffon kingdom largely intact, not completely obliterate it. There is such a thing as overkill."

He snorted, "I disagree! Overkill is simply the loser complaining that I have better gear than he does!" He pauses, "Where are we going, anyway?"

"We are going to meet with the Generals for the army, your colleagues, as well as the captain of the Royal Guard. We are going to strategize and create a war plan."

"But, there hasn't been a war in Equestria in ages! How can you have generals?"

"Magical simulations. These ponies have proven themselves capable of leadership and strategy."

"HA! Simulations can only do so much, Celestia. I can guarantee that these stallions aren't anywhere near the level they'll need to be."

"They are your colleagues in rank, if not experience. And one of them is a mare, so please be polite."

The 2 were walking down a corridor that was flanked on all sides by Royal Guards. They eventually came upon a large door that had a pair of guards stationed at it. They were quickly waved through.

Once inside the chamber, a classic military planning room was revealed. A large table in the middle of the room was covered in maps and statistics while the walls were covered in yet more maps, diagrams, and attack strategies. Surrounding the table, and arguing while wildly gesturing with their limbs, were 4 ponies, 3 male, 1 female, with 3 in the uniform of an Equestrian General, and 1 in the ceremonial armor of a Royal Guard. As the pair approached, the argument died almost instantly and all present bowed to Celestia, except for The Forgemaster. In fact, The Forgemaster was almost completely ignored by the present ponies! The Royal Guard Captain nodded towards him; at least he has some semblance of politeness.

Celestia spoke to the gathered officers, "Hello, my little ponies. We have come to help with the planning, myself and The Forgemaster." Whom she indicated with a hoof.

The ponies thanked her for coming, but ignored him further. The Forgemaster was getting just the littlest bit upset. It's not like he demand attention or anything, but the least someone could do is nod towards him! He was being completely ignored by everyone but that nice Guard Captain.

Walking up to the table, Celestia asked the officers, "Has a plan been agreed upon?"

"No, your majesty, but we would be honored for your input." Said one of the generals

While Celestia and her generals were distracted discussing a strategy, The Forgemaster snuck up behind them and casually stole one of the generals' swords right out of its sheath. He examined it and started to slowly slash and stab at the 3 generals, stopping just before he made contact with them. He was performing a drill on the weaknesses and control over a blade. The Royal Guard Captain was watching him with great interest; he had been told that this creature was to be his new commander and he just watched it steal a general's sword and go through the motions of killing them all! He was going to be watching his new commander very closely. Eventually, The Forgemaster got bored and used his magic to turn into a tiny, child-like form of Crimson Hammer. He then began to hover in the air and poked Celestia on the shoulder with his horn. She slowly turned to look at him.

In a tiny child's voice, he said, "Auntie Tia! Can we go home? It's s~o boring in here!"

She sighed while the other ponies in the room stared at him as though he grew another head. He could just hear the thoughts going through their heads; 'How did a child get in here? Auntie Tia?' The only one who had viewed the transformation was the diligent Royal Guard Captain.

"No, you can't leave. But you can offer your advice." said Celestia.

The 'child' appeared to pout for a moment, but then brightened when she said that he could help.

One of the male generals raised an objection, "B-But, Princess! He's just a colt!"

The female general agreed, "This is no place for a foal, your majesty."

The 'colt' winked at Celestia and made her sigh; he wanted her to act as though that were his real form.

"Maybe so, General Ironsides, but he's also your newest colleague." She deadpanned.

The 'colt' spoke up, continuing the child's voice, "Hiya General! Pleased to meet'cha! I'm Crimson!"

He then flew over and landed onto the table, he bent over the map and studied it with interest. In the light provided by being underneath the chandelier, the generals and the Captain got a glimpse of him. They were startled when they saw that he was an alicorn.

"So what's the plan for killing all of the griffons?" 'Crimson' asked with child-like, or maybe manic, glee.

The others gave a start at his choice of words.

"Crimson, we aren't going to kill all of the griffons; we are just going to defend ourselves." Said Celestia with an almost exasperated tone

"Aw, Auntie, you're no fun."

All the ponies present, bar the Captain and Celestia, were slowly losing what small grasp of the situation they had.

"Any way, what's the plan!"

Celestia gave a look to General Ironsides, the mare general, a look that said, 'Humor him.'

"Well, we were planning on using Unicorn teleportation and Pegasi reconnaissance squads to get behind their lines and attack the Griffon capital. We would be able to take out their king, and therefore, their command structure in one fell swoop. Meanwhile, the Earth ponies would remain behind to deal with any attack that the griffons may decide upon."

General Ironsides was almost giggling at the sight of the tiny colt looking serious as he digested her information. She had specifically used larger words to confuse him, hoping to get him out of the war room as soon as possible. He was not, however, in any way expecting what came next.

"That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Due to the griffon's carnivorous nature, their population is spread out over a large area; they aren't gathered in a single location. They only have the one city, their capital, and it's completely surrounded by forests on all sides. In fact, most of the griffon homeland is nothing but forests. If you go in with pegasi and unicorns, you would be spotted quickly because of the large, spread out population. Griffons aren't fools; their population isn't very large because of their eating habits. They need food from the forests, or more specifically, prey, to survive. Their army wouldn't stand up to a siege or even a war of attrition because they don't have the population to recuperate their losses or the food base necessary. A quick strike like the one you planned is something that they would be planning to do also, so while you're at their capital they would be here, in Canterlot at about the same time. If you only leave the Earth ponies then all the griffons have to do is stay in the air and they could completely decimate the reserves."

He took a pause, while all of the ponies looked at him in awe. Evidently, they had not expected a youngling to have such a vast knowledge of military strategy. The plan General Ironsides had detailed was not, in fact, the plan that they were going to use, she had just told the 'colt' that so that he would be kicked out of the war room. The plan had far too many flaws in it, and this 'colt' had pointed them all out!

"I recommend a war of attrition: we are in a better position in the long run. And, if the strategy is supplemented with crippling raids on their support structure than I'm sure we will be victorious. We remain within our own borders and laugh as they try to attack us, all the while we will send Special Forces behind enemy lines and set wilds fires to their forests. With their forests burned, and the food therefore gone, they will have no choice but to surrender eventually. We stay in Equestria and turtle up, fortifying every town, every village, and every city from Griffon attack while we starve them out from inside their own country."

The 'colt' looked around at the shocked faces of the generals and the captain. Celestia, however, looked much the same as she always did: calm and collected, though he noticed a slight change in her demeanor.

Finally, one of the male generals managed to choke out a question, "Who… are you?"

The 'colt' looked to Celestia, "What was that fancy title you came up with in case war broke out?"

She cleared her throat, "That would be; Lord-General of the Royal Guard."

The 'colt' looked back at the even more shocked face of the general that asked and said, "What she said."

1 Hour Later

He had left the war room shortly after that, never once revealing himself to the generals. Soon after, Celestia had come out of the war room and told him that the plan that had been agreed upon was the one that he had put forward. She also told him never to do that again. She also wanted to introduce him to the Royal Guards of dusk and dawn, and that he had to meet her in the throne room.

He decided to not follow her advice, and remained in the colt form.

He was standing in front of the doors to the throne room, where many of the Royal Guards had been gathered and was waiting for Celestia to wrap up her introduction speech and open the doors to let him in.

Earlier, he had been given the Royal Guard's commander's armor while in adult Crimson form. Apparently, Celestia wasn't too keen on having the Royal Guard know that they were being led by a human, for whatever reason. He was supposed to walk into the throne room as Crimson Hammer, but he decided to go in as colt Crimson Hammer. Thankfully, the armor had shrunk in size when he had, due to a spell he had used.

Right then, his cue came and he prepared himself to walk, straight faced, through the columns of Royal Guards while as a child. The doors gained an aura about them, and then slowly opened.

The Forgemaster bounced down the large red carpet provided in a very Pinkie-like fashion. On his right were multiple columns of Royal Guards of the Dawn, on his left were multiple columns of Royal Guards of the Dusk. The entire room was full to the brim with guard ponies. All were staring straight at him, all wore extremely confused faces, and some were trying not to laugh.

At the far end of the throne room, Celestia face-hoofed. The first time that such an act has ever been seen was being caused by the silliness of an immortal human who can shape shift.

From his position half-way down the red carpet, The Forgemaster waved at her and said, with a huge smile on his face, "Hiya Auntie Tia!"

"Quit being such a foal!" she snapped right back at him

"Make me!"

Now, by this time, at least half of the Royal Guards were struggling to maintain their stoic facial expression, but many were failing. Who couldn't laugh after seeing the princess of the day tell a child not to act like a foal? The Forgemaster was now wearing a huge grin and Celestia was wearing a small scowl. However, he continued his implacable bounce towards her.

"Crimson, I will turn the floor into lava!" she said, either playing with him or completely serious.

The Forgemaster decided to play with her, regardless of whether or not she was playing with him.

With a gasp, he jumped into the air and started to hover off of the floor by using his wings. He was imitating the game where children stay off of the floor by using furniture because 'the floor is lava' and all of the guards knew it. The struggling guards were losing the battle.

Celestia sighed and said, "Please… just stop."

"Okay Auntie! Because you asked so nicely…"

He stopped hovering and fell to the floor. Casting a spell whilst also walking; he slowly gained ground on Celestia while also regaining his size. Immediately upon obtaining full size, he reached Celestia. His timing had been impeccable. As soon as he was the correct distance away, he bowed his head low to the princess.

The guards were, understandably, in awe. How could somepony do such a thing and not get sent to the moon?

Somewhere, a certain dark-blue princess sneezed.

Celestia, however, was in a good mood for he wasn't immediately sent to the moon for his actions.

She walked over to him with the sword he had given to her before the ceremony started, and lightly tapped him on the shoulders.

"You are hereby promoted to the rank of Lord-General, Crimson Hammer. You are now the commander of both houses of Royal Guards. Do your duty well, and please try to act more mature." She said the last with a note of exasperation in her voice.

He stood from his position, took the pro-offered blade, and then sheathed it.

With a smile on his face, he said in the child's voice, "Of course my princess, I live to serve!"

The guards behind him gave a cheer as he turned to face them.

He walked back down the carpet he had walked up and went back to his home in Ponyville.

Chapter 67

So there The Forgemaster was, enjoying a day off. Well, it wasn't exactly a day off, more like an 'I'm not working today Shining Armor, now piss off!' day, but the principle was the same. Of course, that meant finding something non-work related to do, and that in itself was a challenge. He still didn't quite have enough Adamantium to make a nice sword/shield combo, he had used quite a bit of his stash making a large suit of armor, so that was out, and he certainly wasn't about to go through the laborious task of making more, far too labor intensive for a 'day off'.

And so, he figured, why not make a catapult?

Not one of those tiny, pussy catapults that you have to build for high school physics class. This was a real, life sized, throw-shit-at-your-castle-'cause-fuck-you catapult. To be specific, it was a Mangonel-style catapult, complete with arm, wheels, and gears.

And he was merrily doing so, blissfully unaware of the hustle and bustle in nearby Ponyville. He may be crazy, but he was far from stupid. What use is there in building a catapult in a town if you're just going to have to move the catapult out of the town to fire it? The Forgemaster deduced none, and built it on a nearby hill. Simba had helped earlier, and then flew off on his awesome wings to go bother someone, preferably Twilight.

Simba, on the 10th day of being altered, was forced to go to the vet, or the closest possible medium. Therefore, Fluttershy was approved. The Forgemaster took Tank along, under absolutely zero threat from any anti-monochromatic pegasi, to see how well he was adapting to his bionic helicopter blades. After a brief visit, both were given clean bills of health, and one small bill. All in all, Simba was fine, his magic was developing properly, his wings had grown out a tad more, he was now much larger than before, he'd probably live to see his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grand kits, and he had successfully lived from an accidental crossbow discharge, courtesy of both an all-too-curious lavender unicorn and some regenerative abilities. The Forgemaster gave Simba leathery, dragon-like wings with some DNA from Spike, magic from Celestia, (The Forgemaster sometimes giggles at the thought of Simba raising the sun), the size came from some… boosted growth hormone The Forgemaster found buried in Simba's own DNA, and finally; the age reducing benefits of gene therapy with a smidge of magic. All of everypony was happy, Simba was delighted, and that's the story of how Equestria was made.

Of course, his fun time was ruined… that seems to happen a lot with The Forgemaster and the ponies.

"What the hay are you doing?" a familiar voice asked from behind him.

Not even looking up from where he was oiling the mechanisms and gears, The Forgemaster replied, "As if it were not blindingly obvious?"

"You're building a catapult!" Twilight shrieked.

The Forgemaster looked over his creation with a trained eye, making a great show of looking at every single piece, before asking, "Am I?"

Twilight groaned, facehoofed, and then said, "Are you off your rocker?"

"Why yes, yes I am insane. Thank you for noticing." The Forgemaster replied with a small grin.

"And how's that working out for you, suffering from a severe case of insanity?"

"Trust me when I say, I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every moment of it!"

"Ugh, Princess Celestia's gonna be here soon, you can't build a catapult now of all times!"

"And why not?" he asked, completely serious.

"Because Princess Celestia's going to arrive tomorrow!" she answered.

"Oh, Tia's coming, why didn't you say so?" he smiled.

Twilight facehoofed.

Oh how he loved to mess with Twilight, it was more fun than sex! Well... sometimes, like now for instance, unless Dash was... never mind. Thankfully, with the last of the gears and firing mechanisms all oiled up and ready to go, The Forgemaster was done making a catapult. All that's left is to double check everything.

"How can you be this sane and still be alive?" Twilight asked with all seriousness.

"'Only the insane have strength enough to prosper. Only those who prosper may truly judge what is sane.'" The Forgemaster quoted.

Twilight paused and tried her damnest to figure out the meaning of the saying.

After a few moments, she came up with, "I'm not even going to try." A smart move, to be perfectly honest.

And so, The Forgemaster tinkered on in silence, content in double checking the entire machine to make sure everything was perfect. But he was interrupted by something, an annoying sound.

A chirping, of all things, was coming from Twilight.

The Forgemaster looked over his shoulder at Twilight and said, "Come again?"

A flustered Twilight replied, "That wasn't me!"

And then, 2 tiny orbs, 1 yellow and 1 blue, with wings flew out of Twilight's mane and hovered in place between them. They then chirped some more.

The Forgemaster, intrigued, asked, "What the fuck are those… and what were they doing in your hair!? Oh gods, you'll probably need a special shampoo to get rid of them, too." He face palmed, shaking his head.

The fuzz ball came over to the Forgemaster and tried to get on his good side with some senseless cuddling; this led The Forgemaster to laugh and say, "HAHAHA! You are so small, it is funny to me." The Forgemaster's eyes suddenly narrowed in anger, "But nothing can top Fluttershy, and you trying to top her makes me want to kill you. Kill it! Kill it with fire, damnit, with fire!"

A small fire appeared in front of The Forgemaster's palm, about to be launched at the offending flying ball of fuzz.

"No! Don't kill them, "Twilight yelled, intent on saving a tiny fuzz ball's life, "We don't know what they are, Fluttershy brought a few to Sugarcube Corner and I took one, but there was only that one when I left Sugarcube Corner, and neither of the other 2 were blue… Pinkie called them Parasprites, I think."

The Forgemaster nodded, "Pinkie would know of these things."

Twilight shook her head, remembering Pinkie ramble about getting a trombone, and therefore dismissing any possibility that Pinkie was right, she said, "Well, it doesn't matter what they are. You're helping set up for the princess' arrival, got that?"

The Forgemaster crossed his hands over his chest, "And why should I?"

"Because if you don't then I'll tell Princess Celestia." Twilight said with a sly grin.

The Forgemaster shook his head no, "First off; tattle-taleing is for pussies. Second; Celly won't give 2 royally fragrant shits about that. Thirdly, I have a catapult, your argument is invalid."

Twilight frowned and then thought for a moment, she smirked and said, "I'll tell Dash on you."

"She'd probably do the same thing I've been doing… if she knew how to make a catapult, Isuppose." He scratched his chin, inadvertently spreading some gunk over himself and not caring.

"What'll make you help!?" Twilight screamed.

"You always could've asked." The Forgemaster suggested.

"But I did!" she yelled.

"No, you ordered me, but since I'm feeling generous… you will now have to get down on your knees, bow before your Duke, and beg."

Twilight frowned, her instincts immediately telling her to tell The Forgemaster to 'buck off', but her curiosity overcame her, "Duke?"

"Yeah, Tia gave me a title, I've been keeping it under wraps, don't want all you silly ponies bowing every time you see me. Now, come on, where's the begging?"

Twilight groaned, rolled her eyes, bowed to the 'Duke' and said, in the most mocking and sarcastic way possible, "Oh great and glorious Duke, won't you please help the poor citizens of Ponyville?"

The Forgemaster put a hand to his chin in thought, and appeared to think quite deeply on the subject, before saying, "I'll consider it." In a very serious tone.

"Really?" she asked in the same tone as earlier.

"Hey, I'm a man of my word, unless I happen to be lying when I give my word… Well, where to next, serf!?"

Twilight frowned at the 'serf' comment, but didn't bother correcting him. With the mood that he is obviously in, she couldn't expect anything to change at all, or him being remotely serious about it.

"I was going to head down to Rarity's place next…"

"Great!" The Forgemaster yelled.

He pushed the catapult so that it aimed towards Ponyville, cranked back the gears that would put tension on the straps, aimed down the arm while looking for the Boutique, licked a finger and held it up for the windage, and altered his aim accordingly. After such ministrations, he hopped onto the arm of the catapult and stood where anything that would be thrown by the catapult would rest.

Twilight's eyes widened as she saw what he was about to do.

"You're mad!" she screamed.

"Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't this would probably never work." He replied, and without further ado, pulled on the appropriate rope and launched himself towards his target.

The Forgemaster's aim was spot-on, thankfully. As The Forgemaster hurtled through the air towards an ever nearing Carousel Boutique, he had exactly 3 things on his mind. Firstly was; 'Woooo!' Secondly was; 'I do technically have wings…' and his third was; 'Fuck that'.

So there he was, flying without the aid of wings and completely fine with not using them.

A truly expert shot it was, perfectly on target. He impacted the target at a bone-crushing velocity but due to some last-second magic dickery, it was merely a jarring impact; certainly not good for the joints, but he didn't break a bone. That certainly couldn't be said for one of the large windows that surround the first floor of Carousel Boutique. Well, I suppose it could be said seeing as how windows don't have bones, nevertheless; the window was shattered and the 2 occupants thoroughly scared shitless.

The Forgemaster waited for the dust to settle, and his eardrums to stop convulsing from the dual screech they endured, by calmly sitting in the rather large pile of debris that he had made. Once all dust was properly on the ground, The Forgemaster blinked owlishly at the 2 mares in the room, or rather, specifically the one blue pegasus mare in the room.

Said mare seemed to be wearing a strange Victorian-era wig/suit combo with horseshoes that appeared to be made out of bronze.

Shaking his head, The Forgemaster said, "Dashie, if this is some kind of new kink, I don't get it. Although, what I said about you being able to pull off any outfit is ringing truer and truer as time goes by." He smiled, giggling to himself.

While Rainbow giggled to herself, Rarity put her hood down and said, "Forgemaster, why did you crash through my window?" in that icy tone that belied civility but hid pure evil.

"Well there is this thing called gravity and for the life of me I couldn't stop it." He said, smiling idiotically.

"You have wings, Forgemaster dear; you could at least try to lie properly if you are going to lie."

The Forgemaster groaned, "Fine." He crossed his arms over his chest and said, "Twilight asked me to help her about town and she said she'd be here next."

Rarity raised a brow, "And how does that little task have you crashing through my windows?"

"Sorry okay? I'll pay for the damages." The Forgemaster said.

Rarity smiled, "That's all well and good Forgemaster, but I'd still like to know the 'why'."

"A catapult." The Forgemaster grumbled.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear?" Rarity lifted a hoof to her ear for emphasis.

"A catapult!" The Forgemaster said much louder and clearer this time.

Then Rarity laughed, "Fine, fine, so long as you're paying: I've no problems with you having your fun, even if it's a tad childish for a thousand-year old to do. But please try to keep your catapult pointed away from my Boutique, wait; scratch that, for the good of all Ponyville: please keep the catapult pointed away from Ponyville at all."

"Really a catapult!?" Rainbow yelled, "Can I see it, can I, can I, can I, please!?" Rainbow as practically, and literally, bouncing with joy on the pedestal.

"Yes Dashie, just so long as you don't kill someone with it." The Forgemaster rolled his eyes.

"But after you are finished with this outfit." Rarity chimed in.

Rainbow groaned loudly and said, "F~ine."

Rainbow stood and let Rarity work over her, adjusting the outfit as she saw fit. For his part, The Forgemaster was taking great advantage of Rainbow not being able to move by making rude gestures, comments, and faces. The most Rainbow could do back was glare, and even that wasn't terribly much. Eventually, Rainbow Dash gave into her more base pegasus/avian instincts and stared to walk in place.

Rarity eventually had enough, "Stand still, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow groaned, "Ugh, I caaan't, " Rainbow tried to fly away, but Rarity held her in place with a hoof on her tail, "I need to flyyy. This is waaay too boring for me."

"Do you want to look nice for Princess Celestia or not?" Rarity replied.

Rainbow slumped to her flank, defeated.

Just then, by some miracle of Twilight not teleporting even though she could, Twilight walked through the door.

"Forgemaster, I've had it up to here with you." Twilight raised a hoof to get the point across of just how high he had gone. "I had to run all the way from that Celestia-damned hill you left me on!"

The Forgemaster raised a brow, "Why didn't you just teleport?"

This had apparently never crossed her mind. Her eyes widened comically and she started hammering her head into the floor, muttering all the while, "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid."

She was ignored by The Forgemaster, ignored in favor of work by Rarity, and lightly chuckled at by Rainbow.

Twilight slowly raised her miraculously non-injured head and cast a gloomy eye about the room. Said eye immediately brightened upon seeing the pony-quins with apparently amazing outfits on.

"Wow, Rarity, "Twilight said, awe evident in her voice, "Those outfits are gorgeous."

Rarity laughed, flattered, "Thank you Twilight. Nice to know someone appreciates my talents."

"Ugh, "Rainbow put her hooves over her eyes and pulled on them, "Sooo boooring."

The Forgemaster laughed, "We could always be doing something… more interesting… at my place, Dashie…"

Rainbow's reply was cut off by a series of chirps from Twilight… again.

Rarity and Rainbow moved closer, Rainbow asked, "What's that sound Twilight?"

From her mane, 3 of those tiny annoying fuzz balls popped. A new pink one and the yellow and blue one from earlier.

"Wow, what are they?" Rainbow asked.

"The better question is, where did they come from? I only had two a minute ago." Twilight replied.

"Uh, I'll take one." Rainbow grabbed the yellow one.

"Me too, "Rarity said, "They're perfect."

Rarity grabbed the blue one for her own nefarious purposes.

The Forgemaster shook his head at the ponies and was about to speak, when suddenly: Pinkie Pie.

"Does anypony know where I can find an accordion?" she asked, slamming open the door, sadly, she was promptly ignored.

Dissatisfied with the lack of a response, Pinkie said, "Girls! Hello! This is important!"

"Pinkie, while I point out that I am male, if you really need an accordion, I think I have one in my upstairs closet. I admit, it was an impulse buy, but come on!"

"Really!? Thank you so much, Forgey!" Pinkie yelled, and then promptly fled, presumably to go fetch the accordion.

The Forgemaster watched her go, and then turned his head back to where the other 3 mares were ogling their new fuzz balls.

The Forgemaster decided to make his displeasure known, to one of them, at least, "Dashie, didn't you just get a new pet last week?" he asked in a deceptively calm voice.

Rainbow froze in the middle of cuddling with the Parasprite, "I- uh." She stammered.

"I thought that you prized loyalty above all else." He continued.

The others had started to watch the proceedings.

"I do, but…" Rainbow started.

"Didn't Tank become your new companion no more than a week ago?" he raised a brow.

Rainbow didn't respond. Instead, a shamed look spread across her face. She then threw the Parasprite away and took off the outfit.

"You're right Forgey, I better go find Tank." She said.

"I think he and Simba went exploring with Winona. Try around the orchard."

Nodding her thanks, Rainbow quickly flew out of the hole that he had earlier made.

wWwWwWw

The rest of that day went rather swimmingly. The Forgemaster was dragged about town by Twilight, either helping or hindering as he saw fit. Eventually, Twilight and Spike retired to the library to do their own share of the preparing. The Forgemaster followed out of principle, and didn't help them at all when the cleaned. In fact, all he did was sit there and read a book; one of the newer ones that had come out recently. Some mare named Daring Doo that tried to take glory away from Indiana.

So there he sat, reading a book while Spike and Twilight just finished cleaning.

He looked up from his book for the first time since he opened it and looked about the room.

He whistled, "Dang Twilight, this place is literally gleaming. I didn't think wood could gleam."

"Why, thank you, Forgey." She replied.

He eyed her warily, "You sure you don't have a case of OCD?"

She smiled slyly, "I have CDO, it's like OCD only the letters are in order." She grew a furious snarl on her face, "As they should be!" she yelled.

"Whoa, easy, Twi." He raised a placating hand.

"So it's 'Twi' now?" she asked.

"Nope, one time deal."

The 2 were silent for a few moments, and then Twilight asked, "Do you have any mental quirks?"

"Oh how subtle." He growled out, and then shook his head, "Some doctor tried to diagnose me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, told him to piss off and mind his own business."

"…That isn't a proper thing to say to a doctor that's just trying to help…" she offered.

"Makes no difference to me. Last I heard: he died from a popped blood vessel in his brain. Poor bastard got himself a stroke, it was caused by stress, or so I'm told." He chuckled, "Kind of ironic."

He sighed and stood, he threw the book towards Twilight who caught it with her magic.

He walked out the door and parted with Twilight saying, "Have a good night, yah Sparkly bastard."

Twilight shook her head as she turned out the lights.

wWwWwWw

When The Forgemaster awoke the next morning, he took one look out the window and decided to stay indoors for the day. He had a bad feeling about those fuzz balls from the start and now he was proven correct. One look out the window at the swarms upon swarms of Parasprites was enough to convince him to stay put and not open his doors to let the little shits in.

He went through his morning routine, getting dressed, taking a shower, cooking food for himself and Simba, Rainbow had elected to stay at her house last night. She said that she missed the feeling of sleeping on clouds

After that, he poured himself a glass of some whiskey he himself had brewed in his expansive basement. While it normally wouldn't taste very good, a few magical runes and the problem was solved. If you can think it; you can put it into a rune. Whether or not it works depends on 2 things; the maker's power and the maker's skill in making runes. You could be powerful enough to raise and lower the sun each day, but if you had no experience with magical rune craft then you are bound to fail. In this instance, a small time accelerating rune at the base of an oak barrel was enough to ensure a smooth whiskey after a single month, rather than years.

He got a chair, put it in front of a window, and watched.

The swarms of Parasprites ebbed and flowed through the streets that he could see out his window. Eventually, the swarms died down, the reason quickly became apparent when a large… ball, for lack of a better word, of Parasprites was rolled down the path in front of his house, escorted by Twilight and friend sans Pinkie, and was flung into the Everfree Forest.

The ponies seemed to think that it was safe, but The Forgemaster was nothing if not cautious. The Parasprites could easily just fly back to Ponyville, it wouldn't be that hard. So he watched, and he waited. Eventually, a miniature tornado appeared in the distance, near Fluttershy's house to be exact. He could only just barely see it through the trees.

After a few minutes, the tornado destabilized and it started… raining… Parasprites?

Yep, that's what it was alright… raining Parasprites… confusing.

The Forgemaster watched wondering at the amount of work he's going to have to do. Technically, by law, he is supposed to help these poor ponies, preferably in the form of rebuilding and restocking of food supplies. That's what he'll do, go out of his way and spend his own vast amounts of money to buy food for all Ponyville; it'll get him on their good side and it won' technically hurt him at all.

Soon enough, the Parasprite horde began to eat all of the food Ponyville had to offer.

He'd have to arrange payment, caravans, protection for food merchants, new stores, new stalls… ugh; it's going to be busy after this.

After a few minutes of watching, The Forgemaster both felt and saw a spell being cast upon the Parasprites. He closed his eyes and focused on listening to the 'tune' of the magic.

'Hmm, a reversal spell… somehow I don't think that's going to work very well.' The Forgemaster thought.

Sure enough, the various swarms he could see from his vantage point began to stop eating food. Shortly thereafter, they began devouring the actual building of Ponyville.

'Ugh, called it.' He thought.

You'd figure that for as long as Twilight had been using magic she'd know that magic was finicky. You have to be incredibly specific or the spell won't work, won't work in the way you had envisioned, or blow up in your face. In this particular instance, Twilight used a reversal spell on an entire species of pest. The spell had no idea what to do, it's not s living, thinking thing. It is a tool, it was commanded, and it did what it was supposed to do. There were multiple targets, as it were, it could have taken their wings and made them walk, it could have made them stop eating altogether, it could have made them monstrous in size, it might have made them carnivores, and really it could have reversed any facet of the Parasprite identity. Apparently, it chose to change the 'eat food' part to 'eat anything that isn't food'.

When the hordes and swarms started eating building, he knew that he had to help. Replacing the food of an entire town took money, replacing the building of an entire town took a whole lot more money, time, effort, amongst other things.

He finished his glass and stepped outside. The little buggers were everywhere, gnawing and biting everything that didn't move. The things tried to eat his own house, the key word being tried, the anti-thief electrical shock system, or ATESS for short, shocked anything that touched his house. All of the signs were up, so ponies didn't touch it, but the Parasprites couldn't read and were subsequently shocked, knocked out, and fell into the gator pit. Okay, I was lying about the gator pit, but the more The Forgemaster looks at them, the more he wants one.

The Forgemaster racked his neck and sighed; there were many ways he could do this. Fire, water, and air would be the easiest. Blow high speed winds at the creatures and force them away, use water to essentially do the same, or use fire to burn them all to a crisp. He quickly discarded fire, he couldn't burn the town down after all, he then dismissed water too, seeing as how there wasn't an overly large supply of water nearby.

He looked left down the street and saw a swarm of Parasprites eating and a few ponies running about in fear, he raised his hand and formed his fingers into a child-like interpretation of a gun. When he 'shot', a gale-force wind swept down that street, it blew the Parasprites and some smaller debris over the horizon. He looked right down the street and did the same before putting both his hands together in front and looked forward down the main street in Ponyville and pushed again.

The immediate area was clear of Parasprite, so he moved to the next, and the next, and the next blowing Parasprites into the distance as he went. He heard music in the distance and it was slowly getting closer.

His rampage finally stopped when Pinkie Pie crossed his path, playing a multitude of instruments and leading a profession of Parasprites. At the end, the other 5 mares were following.

After blinking at the strange sight numerous times, The Forgemaster snapped out of it and followed along with the others.

He spotted Tia's chariot in the distance, he had to wait a solid 10 seconds for Twilight to say, "Look!"

Apparently, he had amazing vision.

All of the tiny ponies rushed ahead to greet their princess, but The Forgemaster just meandered forward a little faster. He arrived at approximated the same time that Tia's chariot, a rather ostentatious affair, to be honest.

Celestia jumped off of her chariot, and the 5 ponies bowed in her presence. The Forgemaster waved like a fool, and smiled in a similar way.

The Forgemaster noticed Rainbow's eyes narrow when Rarity bowed in front of her, perhaps she saw something a little… private?

(A/N – seriously, go to Youtube and look at the episode at 18:44, pause it at 18:45, you'll see what I mean.)

"Twilight Sparkle, my prized pupil." Celestia said.

"Hello, princess." Twilight replied.

"Hey, there are others here to you know, it's rude to ignore us in favor of Sparkly here." The Forgemaster said, mock indignantly.

Celestia smiled, seeing The Forgemaster's game, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, greetings Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Forgemaster… but where is Pinkie Pie?"

A sudden cymbal crash announced her arrival; it made all of the ponies cringe.

Pinkie walked by with the instruments all across her body blaring noise as loudly as possible, how she managed to carry a tune, which she did, was astounding. Celestia stared, wide-eyed at the spectacle. It was such a rare occurrence that The Forgemaster took a picture quickly before it went away.

Twilight walked up in an attempt to distract her princess, "So... how's the trip? Get much traffic?"

…It failed.

Celestia asked, "Ah, what is this?" One of the Parasprites landed on her wing, causing her to laugh and raise it up, "Oh ho ho, these creatures are adorable."

Rainbow muttered, "They're not that adorable."

"I'm terribly honored that you and the good citizens of Ponyville have organized a parade in honor of my visit." Celestia declared.

"Parade?" Twilight asked, her head literally made a 'ping' sound as she got an idea, "Oh. Yes, the parade."

The Forgemaster butted in, "Yo Tia, it ain't a parade. These things are pests; they ate most of the food in Ponyville and quite a few buildings."

Celestia affixed her eye on The Forgemaster and asked, "Ate?"

"Yep, little bastard will eat anything. Well, before they just ate food, now they eat anything but food."

As Celestia raised a brow, Twilight tried to hide, for a good reason, Celestia is a goddess of the sun and subsequently had a temper that could burn a fucking sun until it died! However, Twilight had decided earlier to get close to the princess so failed to hide completely.

"Oh really?" she asked.

"Yep! Apparently, they like music. Pinkie over there is doing her best to rid the town of Parasprites. I think I'll give her a medal, can I make it out of Parasprite carcasses!?"

"No, Forgemaster, you may give her a medal made out of metal." She giggled at her own pun.

"Unfortunately, this visit is going to have to wait for another time. I'm afraid an emergency has come up in Fillydelphia. Apparently there's been some sort of infestation." Celestia said.

"An infestation?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, a swarm of incredibly bothersome creatures has invaded the poor town. It's probably a swarm of these… Parasprites, if I've read my reports correctly." Celestia explained, "I'm sorry Twilight, to have to put you all through so much trouble." She added.

"Trouble?" Twilight laughed, "What trouble?"

Celestia had one hood in her chariot when she asked, "Before I have to go, would you care to give me your latest report on the magic of friendship in person?"

"My... report?" Twilight asked, confused.

"Don't want to be tardy." The Forgemaster added, Twilight's eyes widened.

"Haven't you learned anything about friendship?" Celestia asked.

The Forgemaster made a gagging motion towards the 4 pegasus guards pulling Celestia's chariot, making exactly 1 smile, the rest remained stoic as their training dictated.

Twilight watched Pinkie for a few moments, said pink mare was standing at the front of the Everfree and directing the swarm back from whence they came.

"Actually, I have. I've learned that sometimes the solution to your problems can come from where you least expect it."

The Forgemaster nodded, saying, "Use any tools for victory. Even sandals."

The others stared blankly at him, incredibly confused by his sudden life-lesson.

He explained, "Stopped an invasion once, used a sandal."

The others shook their heads and put tat down on the 'shit Forgey says' list, that I'm sure they have somewhere.

Twilight started again, still noticeably confused, "It's a good idea to stop and listen to your friends' opinions and perspectives, "Pinkie's cymbal crashed, "Even when they don't always seem to make sense."

Celestia smiled, "I'm so proud of you, Twilight Sparkle, and I'm very impressed with your friends as well. It sounds like you're all learning so much from each other."

While Twilight was thanking the princess, she was overshadowed by The Forgemaster saying rather loudly, "Haven't learned a damn thing."

Celestia decided that now would be an opportune time to leave, and did so. The others stared blankly at The Forgemaster, evidently wanting an explanation to his earlier remark, but he ignored them and walked over to Pinkie.

The others followed after him and as soon as the last Parasprite was inside the Everfree, Pinkie stopped playing and asked, "Hey, what happened to the princess?"

"Emergency in Fillydelphia." Twilight explained.

"Some sort of infestation." Rainbow added, smirking.

"Oh no!" Pinkie exclaimed, "Have they got Parasprites too? Well, have tuba, will travel."

Pinkie blew once more into the tube as Twilight said, "I think the princess can handle it."

"So you knew what those critters were all along, huh Pinkie Pie?" Applejack said.

"Well DUH, why do you think I was so frantic to get my hooves on all these instruments?" She asked, "I tried to tell you."

"We know Pinkie Pie, and we're sorry we didn't listen." Twilight apologized.

The others apologized as well, but then The Forgemaster said.

"Speak for yourself, little ponies, who do you think supplied the accordion?" he pointed towards the instrument in question.

"You're a great friend, even if we don't always understand you." Twilight said.

Pinkie's grin was extra large, "Thanks guys, you're all great friends too, even when I don't understand me."

"You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia, and more importantly, you saved Ponyville."

They looked at Ponyville and noticed all of the decrepit and destroyed buildings.

"Or not." Twilight finished.

The Forgemaster sighed and shook his head, "I'll go call some repair stallions and carpenters."

He walked towards his house, the only perfectly untouched building in all Ponyville.

He had some letters to write.