Derpy Hooves Plays Connect Four

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Carrot Top, Spike, Comedy, Derpy Hooves
Length: 3039

When Derpy gets her hooves on a new game, she asks Spike to play it with her.

While out for a walk, Derpy Hooves comes across a ruined building. While there, she finds a new game. A strange voice tells her to play it, and so Derpy decides to do just that. She finds a willing play partner in Spike, but the two of them find that the game appears to be broken...

AUTHOR'S NOTES

This story is a collaborative effort between Vetnern and myself. The idea was that Vetnern would write the prologue, and then I would write the ending. This is the result of our combined endeavours.

Editing and proof-reading done by me. Derpy Hooves vector by invaderliz-thecat on DeviantArt.

Published 2013-03-13 01:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-13 01:20:02 UTC

Part One

PROLOGUE

by Vetnern

The midday sun hung lazily in the sky over Ponyville. A group of ponies were in the park, playing a game of hoofball. The scoreboard showed the match to be between a team of two earth ponies versus two pegasi. And that the score was currently tied.

Applejack grasped the ball in her forehooves before glaring at the pegasus opposite her.

"All right, Rainbow Dash." she said. "This one's gonna win the game fer us earth ponies, proving that you pegasi ain't as athletic as y'all think y' are."

"We'll see about that!" Dash replied smugly. "Come on, Derpy! Let's win this thing for the pegasi!"

"Okay, Rainbow!"

The wall-eyed pegasus trotted over to her team-mate and watched Applejack, who proceeded to kick the ball with a large amount of force. Rainbow Dash began running around frantically as the ball came down, hurtling towards Derpy.

"Catch it, Derpy!" Dash shouted. Derpy closed her eyes and began waving her forehooves furiously in an attempt to catch the ball. As a whistle blew, players and spectators alike gasped in awe as the ball collided sharply with Derpy's forehead, causing her to fall to the ground, a small cloud of dust rising up as she did.

"Derpy!" Dash cried. "Are you all right?!"

"Did we win?" Derpy replied, moaning in pain.

"We drew." sighed Rainbow Dash. "Applejack has a pretty good swing." she added.

"Hoo-whee!" Applejack cheered. "That there was a mighty fine game. Pity mah team didn't win, but there's always next time!"

"You can bet on it." Dash said. "I gotta go. Glad to see you're all right, Derpy. Good game!"

As everyone said their goodbyes, Derpy decided to go on what she liked to call an adventure. She was walking through Ponyville, admiring the scenery, when she came face to face with an overly-cheery Pinkie Pie.

"Did you see that amazing hit Applejack did? I mean come on, that could have flown to the moon and back. Oh, but then it would be too cold and your poor hooves would freeze!" She shouted in her joyful tone.

"Woo, Applejack!" Derpy replied.

Pinkie Pie pulled out a small wrapped box from her mane.

"For doing a super special job today, I got you a gift!" she said handing the box to Derpy.

"B-but Pinkie Pie, You're still in debt" replied Derpy, a sad expression on her face.

"Oh don't worry about that silly, I have my ways" Pinkie replied, tapping her nose with a hoof. "I gotta dash now, enjoy your gift!"

"Thank you" said Derpy, before noticing that Pinkie had simply vanished into thin air. With a shrug, she opened the box and began walking along the Ponyville streets.

"Oh my gosh, a blueberry muffin" she squealed in delight. Placing the gift wrap and box in a nearby trash can, and then proceeded to eat her new-found treat.

Given how much she enjoyed muffins, she paid more attention to it than to where she was actually going. Upon finishing the object of her desire, she looked around — before a crestfallen look appeared on her face as she realised she was lost.

All around her stood buildings in various stages of decay. Several of them were nothing but piles of rubble, and the few that remained standing had vines crawling up the walls — and more than their fair share of rats. A cold wind blew around the ruins, ruffling the feathers in Derpy's wings and sending a chill down her spine.

I wonder what happened here?

Walking through this strange place, Derpy saw graffiti on a few walls — 'Fun, fun, fun!' and 'Dota' being the most common. Turning a corner, Derpy saw an old run down building — one of the few that still had all four of its walls intact.

"Ooh, a den." Derpy said out loud, her voice echoing through the empty streets.

Approaching the building, she tentatively knocked on the door, startling herself when it flew off its hinges, hitting the floor with a resounding bang that shook dust from the ceiling and woke up a few rats.

"Anypony here?" she asked, as the sound of the wind got stronger. A rat crawled past her hooves, making her squeak with fear.

There's clearly nopony here, so why am I afraid?

Summoning up her courage, Derpy entered the house and began searching the rooms. The wallpaper was torn and mildewed, the wood was rotten, and the furniture appeared to have been taken over by a small family of wild cats, which hissed and batted their paws as Derpy passed by.

Hearing a thud from upstairs, Derpy took a deep breath and slowly made her way up to the second floor. Making sure she didn't make any sudden noises, she was surprised to find that there was only one room upstairs. Unlike the others, this one had blacked out windows, making it very dark and hard to see.

She heard a muffled thud and then a scraping noise as something shot toward her, landing at her hooves, causing her to instinctively curl into a ball. Her ears were filled with the sound of a deep voice.

"Pass on the game of making fours, or this curse will forever be yours." the voice boomed. Derpy peeked out from behind her hooves to see a box. Grabbing it, she quickly flew downstairs and out of the door.

Flying up as high as she could, Derpy saw the familiar part of Ponyville, heading towards it at a high rate of speed. She landed next to a tree and placed the mysterious box down in front of her. Wiping off some of the dust that had accumulated revealed a logo that simply said 'Hasbro'.

What kind of a silly name is that? Derpy thought, as she wiped off the rest of the dust. Once it was gone, she looked at it.

"Connect Four?" she questioned. "What do I do with this?"

She thought back to what the voice had told her.

Pass on the game of making fours, or this curse will forever be yours. "I'd better find a partner! I don't want to be cursed!"

Looking around, Derpy saw Twilight and the rest of her friends standing in the town square. Tucking the box under a wing, she shot over as quickly as she could.

"Hey everypony! Do any of you want to play, uh... Connect Four?" she asked, looking at the box for confirmation.

"Sorry Derpy." Twilight replied. "Princess Celestia is sending us to deliver supplies to Las Pegasus."

Derpy slumped onto her haunches, a glum look on her face.

"Oh, okay." she replied.

Twilight noticed the look and smiled apologetically.

"You know that Spike isn't coming with us?" she said. "I'm sure he'd be happy to play with you. It would certainly beat being in the library all by himself."

Derpy gained a smile of her own as she stood up.

"Thanks, Twilight!" she said cheerfully. "I'll go and ask him. Have fun in Las Pegasus!"

Twilight and the others waved as Derpy rushed towards her goal. A bit too fast, as she ended up crashing into the library via a window, startling the young dragon who was snoozing on the couch.

"Gah!" he yelled. He looked around the library before his eyes fell on a sheepish-looking pegasus. "Oh, hey Derpy. What's up?"

"Sorry Spike." she replied as she stood up and held out the box. "I was just wondering if you'd like to play this with me?"

Spike looked at the box, a confused look spreading across his face. He looked up at Derpy, and into her pleading eyes. He shrugged.

"Sure, why not?" he replied. "I've never heard of this game before, so it'll be fun to learn it. That, and I'd be happy to have some company other than the Cutie Mark Crusaders." he shuddered.

"Thanks, Spike." Derpy said, hugging him out of delight. Spike squirmed free and took the box from her, looking at it closer.

"All right." he said, puffing out his chest. "Let's do this thing."

Part Two

THE ENDING

by GeodesicDragon

Spike opened the box and peered at the contents. There were several pieces of plastic inside. Spike's face fell when he saw one of them appeared to have several holes through it.

"It's broken!" he moaned.

"What?!" Derpy cried. "No, no, no. This can't be right. If I don't play, I'll get cursed! That's what the voice said!"

Derpy began babbling incoherently, as she began pacing back and forth. Spike watched her for a moment before he spoke.

"I'm sure there's somepony in town who knows how to fix it." he said. "Why don't we look around and ask?"

Derpy snapped out of her stupor and nodded eagerly.

"Let's go ask Carrot Top!" she said. "I've seen her fix plenty of things before... especially when it's me who's broken them."

She smiled sheepishly. Spike chuckled and closed the box, picking it up with both hands.

"Lead the way, Derpy." he said.

Spike followed Derpy as she walked through town, waving to various Ponyville residents. They soon reached a house which had a mailbox shaped like a carrot.

"I'm guessing this is her house?" Spike joked.

"Yep!" Derpy beamed, going up to the front door and knocking. There was no answer. "... maybe she's in her garden, tending to her crops!" she offered.

The two of them went through a gate at the side of the house and into the large garden, which had carrots growing in nearly every inch of available space. And in the middle of it all, a clump of orange mane was clearly visible.

"Hey, Carrot!" Derpy called.

There was a small yelp of surprise as the mane, as well as the mare it was attached to, leapt into the air. She turned around slowly, fixing her face into an expression that showed her displeasure.

"What is it, Derpy?" Carrot Top asked. "I'm really busy just now, not that you even noticed."

"This won't take a minute, Carrot." Derpy replied. "Spike and I were just wondering if you could fix something for us?"

Carrot sighed.

"What is it this time?" she moaned. "Another mailbox? Another window? Or, maybe you've broken Town Hall again?"

Spike could hardly believe the way Carrot was talking. Nor could he believe how Derpy was simply taking it. But he decided that saying something would only make Carrot's mood sour some more.

"No, it's none of those." Derpy said, taking the box from Spike and opening it. "It's this. Spike and I wanted to play this game I found, but it's got a lot of holes in it. Can you help?"

Carrot peered at the lid.

"Connect Four?" she asked. "Well, I've certainly ever heard of it. So with that in mind... I can't help you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have crops to take care of."

She turned her back on the two and promptly ignored them. Derpy mumbled a thank you and closed the box, giving it back to Spike. The two of them then left Carrot's garden.

"The attitude on that mare!" Spike snapped, once out of earshot. "I can't believe you let her speak to you like that!"

Derpy's ears flattened against her head.

"Carrot's not all that bad." she defended. "We just caught her at a bad time. When she's not tending to her vegetables, she's actually really nice to me. But she hates it when ponies interrupt her during harvest season, which is why she was rude."

"Be that as it may," Spike replied, "she still had no right. But whatever. Now, who else can help us with this?"

Derpy put a hoof to her chin in thought. She was so deep in concentration, one could almost hear the gears in her head grinding away as she contemplated her and Spike's next move.

"Got it!" she proclaimed. "Mr and Mrs Cake might be able to help us! They've got kids, so that means they have games that might occasionally get broken."

"Kids," Spike added, "and Pinkie Pie. Celestia knows she can be a big foal at the best of times."

The two of them laughed and headed towards Sugarcube Corner. The confectionery establishment soon came into view, bringing with it the smell of muffins, which caused Derpy to shoot off like a rocket, and Spike to run much faster than he thought he could in order to keep up.

When Spike reached the door, it was swinging back and forth from the momentum of Derpy's over-enthusiastic entrance. Seeing an opening, Spike leapt through the door in a manoeuvre that, he thought, would have left even the great Daring Do picking up her jaw from the floor.

Derpy was at the counter, eagerly engaging the Cakes in conversation, holding a half-eaten blueberry muffin in one hoof.

"Ah, there's Spike now." Derpy said. "Sorry, Spike. I smelt muffins and got kinda excited. I was just telling Mr and Mrs Cake about the game we found, and they'd like to see it."

"Oh yes," said Carrot Cake, "if there's one thing I've learnt, its that kids like to break their toys. Nothing that can't be fixed with a little bit of glue, of course. But Derpy was just telling us that this game you've got is... different."

"You can say that again." Spike said, as he put the box on the counter and opened it. "It's unlike anything I've ever seen before."

The Cakes peered inside the box.

"Well Derpy," Cup Cake said, "you certainly weren't kidding when you said it was full of holes."

"I know, right?" Derpy replied. "But the question is, can you fix it? I really want to play it."

The Cakes looked at each other before Carrot shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Derpy." he said. "But I've never even heard of this game until now. So I can't say I know how to fix it."

Derpy's face fell.

"But," Cup said with a smile, noticing the forlorn look on the pegasus' muzzle, "maybe Twilight Sparkle could help? She's a smart unicorn."

"She is," Spike replied, "but she's away in Las Pegasus just now, running an errand for Princess Celestia."

"Oh." Cup's smile faded. "I see."

A period of silence followed before Carrot gasped.

"What about that stallion who runs the watch shop?" he asked. "Time Turner, I think his name is. He's not Twilight, but I have seen him reading a lot of books when he's here getting a coffee."

Derpy's face returned to its usual happy look as she put the lid on the box and perched it on her back.

"Thanks, Mr and Mrs Cake!" she beamed. "That's a great idea! Come on, Spike. We'll go see him now."

"You're welcome, dear." Cup said, as she and her husband waved goodbye. "Take care, and let us know if you get the game fixed! I'm sure the twins would love to play it at some point!"

"I will, Mrs Cake!" Derpy shouted over her shoulder. "Bye!"

***

The walk to the watch shop was a short one, much to Spike's relief. He wasn't sure if he could handle any more running. As the two companions entered the premises, a small bell above the door rang, which in turn caused a voice to come from the back.

"Just a moment!" the stallion called. "I'll be with you shortly!"

"Take your time, Mr Turner!" Derpy called back.

There was a moment of silence before the stallion appeared in the doorway leading to his workshop. His smile brightened upon seeing Derpy. He acknowledged Spike with a wave.

"Ah, Miss Hooves." he said. "I thought I recognised your voice. Now, what can I do for you and your friend today?"

"You're a smart stallion." Derpy said, prompting a snort of dismissal from Time Turner. "And you've been all sorts of places in that special box of y—"

Time Turner clamped a hoof over Derpy's muzzle, shaking his head furiously as he motioned towards Spike.

"Sorry." Derpy said sheepishly. "We were just wondering if you could help us with this game we found. It's broken, and nopony else knows how to fix it."

Turner nodded.

"Let me have a look then, Miss Hooves, and I shall see what I can do." he said. "It'll make a change from fixing clocks and watches all day, let me tell you."

Derpy smiled and placed the box on the counter. Turner's face lit up with glee as he grabbed it.

"Where the bloody hell did you get this?" he muttered. "I've not seen one of these for many years!"

Derpy and Spike exchanged a puzzled glance.

"Huh?" Derpy asked. "I found it in one of the ruined houses in Ponyville. Do you know what it is?"

Turner nodded and opened the box.

"Now, what seems to be the problem, Miss Hooves?" he queried. "You have found yourself a real gem of a thing here. It may not look like much, but this game requires a keen tactical mind. I must say that there are many hours of fun to be had, trying to outsmart your opponents!"

Derpy pointed at the holes.

"It's full of holes." she muttered.

Turner's smile vanished and his brow furrowed.

"What?" he deadpanned.

Derpy motioned her hoof over the piece of plastic.

"The holes!" she said. "We can't play it if its full of holes!"

Turner looked at her and then to Spike, who shrugged. He looked at the piece and then sighed... before bursting into laughter.

Derpy and Spike looked shocked.

"What's so funny?!" Spike demanded. "We've spent nearly an hour trying to find somepony who will help us!"

"The holes are supposed to be there!" Turner said. "You wouldn't be able to see the pieces otherwise!"

Spike and Derpy looked at him blankly. He stopped laughing and sighed before upending the box, sending the contents spilling onto the counter. He picked up a small wad of paper and held it out towards the stumped pegasus and clueless dragon, the latter taking it to look at.

Clearly written across the front were six words that made them both blush furiously with embarassment.

CONNECT FOUR
SETUP AND GAMEPLAY GUIDE