(Not So) Creepy Pastas In Equestria

by Scratch Board

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Twilight Sparkle, Crossover, Dark, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1966

The world of creepy pasta has been unleashed on Equestria, but it may not be as creepy as you think.

Upon reading an ancient book from a long-lost civilization, Twilight accidentally unleashes an army of creepiness upon Equestria. However, these characters seem to have been downgraded on the scare factor due to them being ponies now.

Art by BEN-pastaaa

Published 2013-01-03 20:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-23 23:31:12 UTC

Chapter 1 - Slender Mane

Twilight smiled as she proudly trotted into the library, carrying a large black book in her saddlebags.

Spike walked down the stairs. "Hey Twilight, what do you have there?" He asked, interested in the black book.

"It's a collection of scary stories!" Twilight proclaimed.

Spike scratched his head. "Scary stories? Doesn't sound that special to me."

"Not just any scary stories," Twilight said as she set the book down on the table. "Scary stories from an ancient civilization called the 'humans'."

"Ancient civilization?" Spike replied. "Just where did you find this book?"

"Deep in the Canterlot library. You should be thankful that humans existed, Spike. It's their technology and language that we use to this very day!"

"Never thought of it that way," Spike said. "Anyways, how about we read that book?"

Twilight nodded. She looked down at the book and opened it with their magic.

Suddenly, every candle in the library went out and the book started floating without help.

"Tw-Twilight," Spike stuttered. "W-whats going on?"

"I-I don't know, just keep calm."

The book started floating towards the door.

"Follow that book!" Twilight exclaimed.

The two ran out the door, following the runaway book.

Outside, they found the book floating higher into the sky

The book then opened by itself, releasing a huge beam of green energy into the sky, which lit up the exact same bright color. Then, just like that, the book snapped shut, falling gently to the ground.

Twilight stared wide-eyed at what had happened. "Is it over?"

She walked over and examined the book. It was not damaged in the slightest.

Spike walked up to Twilight. "Twilight, what just happened?"

Fluttershy flew around, feeding her animals while whistling a merry tune when she saw the sky light up green.

"Oh, my."

Soon, it was gone, and the sky was as normal as ever.

"That was weird..."

She simply shrugged it off and to the backyard, where a peculiar pony was now standing. It was extremely tall, and wore a fancy black suit. The strangest thing though, was that this pony seemed to have no face. No eyes, no mouth, not even a mane. Just a plain blank face.

"Um...can I help you?" Fluttershy asked calmly.

The pony simply stood there, staring blankly at her. After a couple seconds, it looked away, almost looking confused.

"Oh, I don't do staring contests."

It turned away for a couple seconds, then flashed it head back at her, staring more intently this time.

"Really, you don't want to have a staring contest with me."

The creature didn't listen, and kept staring at her, as expecting something to happen.

Fluttershy sighed. "You asked for this."

The pegasus started staring at the other pony, her eyes growing wide. Almost immediately the pony dropped to the ground, cowering in fear.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't hurt you did I? Here, let's bring you inside."

Fluttershy took the pony's hoof and led him into her cottage.

Meanwhile, Twilight ran back into the library.

"Spike, what's the status report?" She asked.

"Well," Spike replied. "We've got a pony yelling at people to go to sleep, some colt in green haunting ponies stereos, some pony in turquoise stalking ponies, the bad part of town is playing creepy music, Pinkie and Rainbow are acting weird, and we've got some tall pony in a suit that was by Fluttershy's place.

"Then we'll start there!"

With that, the the two set off toward the small cottage at the edge of town.

When they got there, they knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Fluttershy asked when she answered.

"Fluttershy," Twilight started. "We're looking for a tall pony in a suit. Seen him?"

Fluttershy nodded with a smile. "He's right here." She led them both into the small house, where the tall pony was sitting.

Spikes jaw dropped. "You let that thing in here!?"

"Of course," Fluttershy said. "I wasn't just going to leave him!"

Twilight levitated the book and opened it to the first page. "Here we go, Slender Man, known to stalk the forest and steal foals from their parents. Spike, ponify his name!"

"What?"

"Ponify his name so that this won't confuse ponies in the history books!"

"Slender....Mane?"

"But he doesn't even have a...whatever, good enough. Slender Mane, prepare to back in the book!"

Pointing the book at Slender Mane, she opened it, shooting a bright green beam at him, which promptly sucked him back in.

"How did you do that!?" Spike asked.

"What did you think I was doing when I was gone and you were getting the status report? I was studying. Turns out, this book was never supposed to be put in the library, somepony put it in themselves."

"But how?"

"No idea, but all we have to worry about now is putting these scary stories back in the book! Let's go! Bye Fluttershy!"

And the two were off, not noticing that the pegasus fainted in shock.

"So what's next?" Spike asked.

Twilight opened the book. "Well, didn't you say something about a pony yelling 'go to sleep'?"

"Yeah, he's hitting people with a stick. Why?"

"He's next."

"He could be dangerous."

"What's he gonna do, hit me with a stick?"

And so, the pair was off to send the evil back to it's story.

Chapter 2 - Jeff The (Pony) Killer

The entire town hall was crowded as tons of creepy pastas struggled to squeeze in with the rest. All went quiet as they saw a tall pony wearing a polka-dotted suit and a large grin on his face walk up to the podium.

"Ahem, attention everyone, attention! My name is Splendor Man, I am the brother of our late friend Slendy, and I will be your new leader."

"Wait, Slendy's dead!?" A pale white pony asked. "How!?"

"A good question, Jeff. Unfortunately...well, he was taken out by the natives."

"Wait," A teal pony with no pupils started. "All they did was put him back in the book. I saw it."

"Good point Herobrine, but you see, before we escaped into this world, the book was merely a box that kept us in. Upon opening, the enchantment was broken, turning it back into a normal book. So, with Slendy being sent into the book, he is no longer real, but merely a scary story."

"So, what now?" Jeff asked.

"Well, we seemed to have escaped into a world that is entirely populated by ponies. A world we obviously didn't want to go to,"

"Yeah..."

"Well," Splendor Man started, "We should go back to doing what we do best; scaring people out of their pants."

"But they don't even wea-"

"It's a figure of speech, my dear Jeff. Now, how would you like to go give some scares to the townsfolk?"

Jeff sighed. "I couldn't even find a knife, so I had to use a stick...what kind of place doesn't have a knife!?"

"It's a place full of talking ponies, what do you expect?

Jeff grumbled as he walked outside. "Whatever..."

Twilight and Spike continued down the street, checking off their list.

"So," Twilight started, "Tell me about the Jeff the Killer guy.

Spiked pulled out the book. "Well, it says that when he was young, he was having trouble with bullies."

"Well that doesn't sound so scary." Twilight remarked.

Spike continued, "One day, he went to a birthday party, and everything went fine. That is, until the same bullies followed him there and tried to kill him. However, he ended up killing one of the bullies, but somehow, he ended up burning his face off."

"Ouch," Twilight commented. "Then what?"

"He woke up in the hospital, only to see that his face had become pale white. Later that night when he went home, he cut out his eyelids and cut scars into his mouth. Then, he killed his parents and his older brother. Now, he is a mass murderer, slaughtering his victims mercilessly." Spike finished.

Twilight shook her head. "This guy doesn't sound scary at all. Just a huge creep."

"Yeah," Spike added. "Maybe these 'humans' weren't so smart after all."

The conversation between the two was interrupted by a maniacal laugh coming from a nearby building.

"Go to sleep!!! Go to sleep!!!" The maniacal voice said, waving a stick at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy didn't move. "Um...but I'm not tired. Thanks for the offer, though." She said, smiling.

The stick waving pony facehoofed. "No, that's not what I...look, you're supposed to be afraid of me! I'm an evil killer with no eyelids who always smiles! Do I look like I want to be your friend!?"

Twilight and Spike ran between the pair, holding the book.

"Who are you!?" Twilight asked the crazy pony.

The crazy pony jumped back a few steps. "Ah, you are the ones who took out my dear friend Slendy. Allow me to introduce myself. I...am Jeff the Killer!" The pony danced around, laughing and dancing.

Twilight looked down at Spike. "Spike, his pony name?"

Spike scratched his head. "Um...Jeff the...Pony Killer?"

Twilight thought for a moment. "Hm...I like it. Prepare to go back into the book, Jeff the Pony Killer!"

Jeff grew angry at the butchering of his name. "That...is not...MY NAME!!!" Jeff rushed at the pair, waving his stick wildly. Twilight quickly dodged Jeff's swings, and shot a couple blasts of magic at him. Across the way, Fluttershy stared at the ensuing fight. After a few moments, she shrugged and left.

Twilight continued throwing blast after blast, as Jeff continued to beat Twilight mercilessly with his stick. Hours later, Spike had fallen asleep on the ground, snoring lightly as the two continued at it.

"Give...up yet?" Jeff asked, panting.

"Never!" Twilight screamed as she continued throwing blasts that missed him entirely.

And so the two continued at it for hours on end, Jeff beating Twilight with his stick that barely hurt her, and Twilight firing blasts that completely missed Jeff.

After eight whole hours of this, Jeff dropped the stick. "You know what, forget this! I'm getting nowhere!." With that, Jeff calmly walked away, leaving behind Twilight, who was about to faint from magic exhaustion.

Twilight tried to stumble after him, tripping over her own hooves. "I'm...gonna...get you, you...cree..." Twilight could not finish her sentence as she dropped to the floor, falling fast asleep.

Three fillys walked down the street, admiring the day. As they happily bounced, they noticed two figures sleeping by a nearby house. Walking closer, they saw that it was Spike, who was snoring loudly now, and Twilight, who had fallen asleep next to a strange book.

The golden filly with the large bow in her hair ventured to pick the book up. "Huh...why would Twilight have somethin' like this?" She asked.

"Put it back down Applebloom," The small white filly said. "We don't know what's in that thing!"

"You're a big baby, Sweetie Bell," The orange one with purple hair said. "Open that thing up!"

"I don't know, Scootaloo, maybe something bad is in this..." Applebloom said.

As the three fillys argued, Jeff walked down the street, grumbling. "Stupid pony world and their lack of knives...seriously, even if they are ponies, who doesn't even use knives for cutting food!?"

Meanwhile, Applebloom and Scootaloo kept arguing.

"Come on, what's the worst that could happen?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well..." Applebloom thought. "You're right, what the hey?" With that, Applebloom opened the book wide, Just as Jeff walked near them.

"What the...NO!!!" Jeff couldn't say more as he was sucked back into the book in a large flash of green light.

The three fillys stood awestruck at at what just happened. A few moments of silence passed before the all looked at each other with the same expression.

"Cutie Mark Crusader Demon Slayers, yeah!!!