The Bjorn Identityby DavidismChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 1“Water is a giver, and what it gives is wet.” ~ Ditzy Doo There it was again. That voice. I was only vaguely aware that I was even moving my arms, because from where I was laying, there was nothing to see, yet every time I moved, I heard the same voice. “Now, now, you mustn’t move so much, you’re in no condition to exert yourself . . . poor creature.” Poor creature? When I thought about it though, I did feel pretty poorly. Everything was black, like the lights were turned off, and all I knew was the sound of the voice, which scolded me every time I made a move. Jeez, what was so bad about wanting to scratch an itch. Of course, there was nothing like laying in complete and total darkness, and feeling like you’re about to fall off of a really high perch or, high place, or something high . . . I was having a hard time putting together coherent words. It didn’t take long before I found the effort of thinking to be too taxing, and I drifted off to sleep, right about the time, I heard a second voice waft through the darkness. “Hello, can you hear me yet?” I wanted to say, “Yes, loud and clear.” But I had already drifted too far off. ~ ~ ~ I woke up the next morning, with a firm monotonous poking on my shoulder, and because it was dark, or rather, because I could feel that my entire head was wrapped in something, I had no clue what the poking was, or where it was coming from, or if maybe I was imagining everything, and it was really my body somehow dying on me, and it was all starting as some sort of strange rhythmic spasm in left shoulder. But that was probably not the case. The poking continued for a while, and eventually I decided that it was time I put an end to it, and moved my hand to swat it away, only to find my hands had been restrained by something. Well this was way out of line. I was in no mood to be toyed with, and it was now time to be vocal. “Oh my,” came the soothing drifty and far away voice from before, that is, before I conked out before. “I see someone is awake.” I was trying to move my mouth to form the words I wanted to speak, but as soon as I thought of what I wanted to say, the poking resumed again, and this time it was focused on my head. Well, there went any hopes of me trying to actually put together something sage-like and profound, so it ended up being an unintelligible muffled gibberish. Which was probably due to the fact that my mouth was wrapped as tight as the rest of my face. “Oh, stop that!” the soothing voice said, and instantly the poking ceased. God bless you soothing voice. You were my new hero. “Don’t you have work dear?” the voice said, and I realized that it was speaking to someone else, which meant that if two plus two equals four then that meant that the poking was actually someone else poking me. Why of all the deliberately strange things to do, and for some reason, I thought of ways to get even, with who or what was doing that cursed poking. “I wanted to see how he was doing.” It sounded like the voice from before, the other voice from before. So that meant that three plus three was, oh who cared. “Well, alright dear, but you’ll have to stand back.” Stand back? What was going to happen? Was I about to do something? “Can you hear me?” This was my chance, I just knew it. I mumbled a few things, through the wrappings over my face, then waited. “I see. Alright, I’m about to remove the bandages a little bit.” I could feel things pulling on my arms, and then suddenly they were free. Though the truth be told, I was too terrified of what was coming next to try and struggle much. I figured the best thing I could do was to sit there and take what was coming, even if I had no idea what I was about to do. I was obviously a mystery. The next part took me by complete shock, when the voice told me, “Now I have to tell you dear, you’ve been in a terrible accident, and it was thanks to pure luck that you were rescued when you were, or else the damage would have been much more extensive.” Accident? Oh man, I hated this news. There were things pulling on my head, and I could feel fabric being removed from my face, then as suddenly as sudden things can happen, there was a sharp piercing light in both of my eyes, and I instinctively brought my arms up to shield my face. “Now it’s alright,” I heard the voice say. “There is nothing to be afraid of.” That’s easy for you to say. “Easy does it.” There was more wrappings being removed, and as the last of them were brought away, I slowly opened my eyes. before me I saw, well, I saw two smiling faces. One of them was bright white, and wore a strange cap on her head, and just behind her, I had to assume it was a her anyway, was another face, all gray with bright blond hair. “Where am I?” It sort of shocked me, hearing my own voice. I guess I expected it to sound deeper or something. “Who are you?” “Yay!” I looked past the white faced lady and saw the gray faced lady clapping her, well it was hard to describe, but hooves would be the best word I can use. She was definitely clapping her hooves. “My name is Nurse Redheart, and you’re in the Ponyville hospital.” “What’s wrong with me?” “First, try and tell us what you remember last,” she said. “What was the last thing you did, or were doing?” Hmm, that was a toughie. I wasn’t really sure on that one. I told her that I remembered being in some sort of water; to which the gray faced lady started spinning about, and clapping more. “Yay! Do you remember me picking you up from the water?” she said to me, leaning in close to the doctor. “As a matter of fact . . . no.” Her face drooped a little. “What’s your name dear?” Redheart asked, as she pressed her hoof gently on my forehead, making a face of concern. “Oh that’s easy,” I told her. “I don’t remember.” Damn, no name. I knew I had one, but for some reason it was as blank as the face of the nurse. That is, white, no, blank was right the first time. “Ooh, I know,” said the gray faced lady behind Redheart. “We can call him Bjorn.” “What?” Redheart asked. I could tell she thought it was a ridiculous suggestion, but only because her face seemed to say it. “Yeah, it’s perfect. We can call you Mason Bjorn, it’s the name of my favorite hero in my all-time favorite spy novels!” “Actually, that’s not too bad,” I said, considering it could have been something like Brittany or Justin. “Are you telling me you don’t remember your name, or what you were doing?” Nurse Redheart was checking my arms and legs as she asked me this, and I know that it must have been difficult for her to understand, but it was the honest truth. “Oh dear,” she said. “I’m afraid it’s worse than we thought.” Worse, what was so wrong with me before? “I’m afraid you have amnesia.” Suddenly the gray lady jumped between me and Nurse Redheart, and brought her face as close to mine as she could, smiling broadly. “Hi Bjorn, I’m Ditzy! I found you in the water!” Her face was not right, that is to say, it was different than the nurse’s. Aside from being gray, she had eyes that seemed to look in different directions; golden honey colored eyes that radiated electric excitement. “Hi Ditzy,” I said waving at her. “So is this amnesia a bad thing?” “Yes,” Redheart said. “It means that you have no memory.” “Well, that doesn’t sound all that horrible. But what was I wrapped up in bandages for?” Suddenly both Ditzy and Nurse Redheart looked somewhat uncomfortable, and Nurse Redheart reached beside her and brought up a hand mirror in her hooves. “I’m afraid the accident has left you rather disfigured Mister Bjorn.” “What?” “We did the best we could, but the healing magic from the doctors just wasn’t enough to bring your fur back, to say nothing of your face.” holding up the hand mirror for me to get a look at myself, I held my breath and beheld my face, or what was left of it anyway. “Oh God no!” I shouted reaching for the mirror. “Oh no, I’m hideous!” Honestly, there wasn’t really anything wrong with my face. I just assumed that I’d look something like them, but then, considering my trauma, I guess a little panic was in order, seeing as how I was actually a human, and they were ponies. Yeah, that’s right, ponies. The animal kind, and had I not had some sort of brain trauma, I’d have easily remembered that ponies were not supposed to talk, or walk, or hand me mirrors. “I think you look cute!” said Ditzy, as she bounded over to me, and looked into the mirror with me. “Like a little tiny cuddly kitten.” Boy was she ever hitting for center field, and striking out. “Will my face grow back?” I asked, in a panic, and at the verge of tears. “It’s hard to say my dear. For now you need to focus on getting better. You need to rest, and see if any of your memory comes back.” “Oh shoot!” Ditzy said, as she noticed the clock on the wall. “I have my routes.” “Routes?” I asked, not understanding. “I’m a mail-mare,” she said striking a pose, and saluting. “From Canterlot to Trottingham, and Cloudsdale to Ponyville; no rain shall win, or wind prevail, to keep the ponies from their mail!” “Oh wow.” I said, clearly impressed, but mostly from the chant. “Well best of luck on your routes Miss Ditzy.” Then as if a thought only just occurred to her, she moved over close, and whispered in my ear, “If anyone brings up Derpy, just ignore it.” “What’s a Derpy? Is it bad?” “Yes,” she said, in a serious tone. “Make sure you have nothing to do with it.” “Absolutely not, you have my word.” Though really, I was not exactly sure what I was giving my word for, it seemed best to err on the side of caution. “Gotta go,” she said, and trotted out of the room. “She’s a nice lady.” “Well, she certainly is an interesting pony,” said Nurse Redheart, “I’ll give her that.” What a strange day this was turning out to be. I guess, I should have been more panicky than I was, but for some reason, I hadn’t a care in the world, except for thinking that my face was horribly disfigured in an accident, and that I had no memory of who or where I was, or what I was doing. All in all, not a bad day. “Now, you get some rest, I’ll check back in on you in an hour or so.’ Suddenly her face took on a more serious expression, with the next part. “There were some things in your possession, when you were brought in, and well . . . some of them were quite unsettling Mister Bjorn.” She left the hospital room, and I suddenly felt a chill of unease. It was that last part that had me. What could I have had? But then, what was I doing in the water in the first place? One thing was for sure, I had questions, and when i got back on my feet, and out of this hospital, I intended to find some answers. Chapter 2“If you live in the sky, then it’s always breezy.” ~ Ditzy Doo Since I wasn't just tired but borderline crazy with exhaustion, I took the nurse's advice and rested. which turned out to be about twelve hours of sleep. And just when I thought my shock to the senses couldn't be more compounded, I had a visitor that set my world on end, yet again. "I don't know how you could have mistaken him for a pony." At the present, a purple pony was standing by my bed eying me from all angles. "You didn't find it strange that he doesn't have a muzzle, doesn't have hooves, and is missing a tail?" All clearly good points, I might add. Too bad she wasn't here when they first took off my bandages, then I might not have lamented the loss of my fur, or my disfigured face. "Well, of course we noticed, but given his cuts and burns, we had no reason to suspect he wasn’t the victim of some tragic accident." Nurse Redheart looked a little upset. "Uh, hi." I waved a hand at the pony. "Twilight, was it? Yeah, thing is, if I'm not a horribly mangled pony, then what am I?" "That's easy," she said invisibly lifting up a book for me to see. "You're a human." Well I guess it made sense, even if it was a tad disappointing. "What's a human?" I had almost forgot that Ditzy was in the room, she had come straight over after her job, and had waited for me to wake up. She looked tired. "They are a being from the stars. Or at least it says so in my book." Never thought of myself as a star dweller, but then as messed up as my thinking had been I could have been from a cave, and accepted that as a rational answer. This whole amnesia thing was beginning to be a pain in the ass. "So then if I'm not mangled, does that mean I have to stay in the hospital?" ~ ~ ~ It took a lot of convincing on her end, but not long after, Ditzy managed to let the hospital release me into her care. Not that it really mattered to me, I just wanted out of that bed, and since she was the one who saved, me it was somewhat comfortable being around her. For some reason, as my head started to clear, things began to unnerve me, and the hospital was a huge flashing red warning light of stress. Nurse Redheart still wanted to discuss the items found with me, but at Twilight's suggestion everyone there agreed that it could wait until the next day. So, dressed back into the clothes they found me in, and catching a few odd looks from the locals, I followed Ditzy into her home. She said she was a pegasus pony, and had tried living in Cloudsdale, but that she preferred to stay closer to her work, so she lived in Ponyville, which was why it didn’t take us long to reach her house. One thing I was grateful for, was that at least things were working better in my thoughts. Two plus two still equaled four, and being human seemed more correct for some reason, though I was a little disappointed at the thought of not being able to grow back some awesome colored fur. "Home sweet home," she said, stretching her wings. Then looking over at me curiously, "I know I promised to take care of you, but I don't think I have any human food. Sorry." At the thought of food my stomach growled. "I'll have whatever you're having." "Are you sure, I wouldn't want you to get sick." "If it's good enough for you, then it's good enough for me." Though I said that then, I did sort of grow to regret it later. Left over hay fries were not the ideal first meal for me after waking up from the hospital, but considering that I had gone from being a disfigured pony to an out of pocket human, at least fate was taking me somewhat in a forward motion. It’s hard to describe something, when everything you know is gone. So exactly what hay fries tasted like would be impossible to explain. So basically, I guess they tasted like deep fried grass, twisted together in little thumb sized sticks, and dipped in sauce. Ditzy ate hers with something she called Dragonian Fire Splash, which sounded oddly interesting so I generously helped myself. Though after the burning sensation left my mouth, and I could speak again, she thought it best if I try mustard or ketchup. After we finished eating, Ditzy took the plates and tossed them in the sink, and while she was moving around me in the kitchen, I watched her clean. I did offer to help, but she seemed annoyed at the idea. When she backed up into me, and brushed her backside against my arm, is when I noticed she had some sort of spot on her, and being a kind person, I grabbed the closest towel, and proceeded to wipe it off. Little did I know that it was permanent, and that she was going to go rigid and nearly kick me as soon as I did it. “That tickles,” she said, as soon as I stopped, realizing that I had done something I probably wasn’t supposed to. She turned to face me, and I could tell that she was beyond exhaustion. She looked like she was about to pass out at any moment. “You look sleepy,” she said. I think it should be the other way around, I thought. Showing me to her bedroom, she motioned for the bed, and said I could sleep there, that she would sleep on her couch. I watched her head out of the room, and made my way to the frilly bed, surrounded by wall scrolls of what I could only imagine were ponies fighting, or posing, or something. All of them said the same thing, Mason Bjorn, or Mason Bjorn Returns. I was beginning to see why my name came so easily to her mind. She had a creepy obsession with this guy, Bjorn. The bed was not as soft as it looked, and while there were enough pillows on it, it didn’t help much. Of course having slept for twelve hours, I was not all that sleepy, but figured with the injuries I’d sustained, and being in the water, I might as well try to take it easy. On her bed was a giant muffin pillow, and I didn’t want to toss it on the floor, so I just scooted all of the pillows, and plushies to one side of the bed. Thinking better of sleeping in my clothes, I undressed, and crawled in, pulling the thick comforter up to my chin. The bedding smelled like something sweet, and warm, and it didn’t take long before I was out. In the twelve hours that I was sleeping in the Ponyville hospital, I don't recall dreaming at all. But that night in Ditzy's bed, I found myself having vivid, and strange dreams. In them I was saying and doing things that I didn't understand, calling names to other humans, and running. Then at some point, there was water, and the floating sensation. I woke with a start, and sat up in the bed, instantly regretting it, as it pulled the sore muscles and caused the cuts to instantly start stinging. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, and I had a million things flooding my mind. I needed to focus, to find some point of focus, and turn the surge of memory into something more refined. "My name is Mason Bjorn," I whispered, while looking at the posters on the wall. "My name is Mason Bjorn, and I'm a human, I'm in Ponyville, I've been injured . . . my name is Mason Bjorn." After I had my little talk with myself, I felt my thoughts that were about to make sense again, slowly start fogging over, and laid back in the bed with a groan. I let my arms fall to my side, and my right arm brushed something bulky and warm, and fuzzy. Turning, I noticed that Ditzy was in the bed with me, curled into a small ball, and clutching her muffin pillow tightly. She was awake, and staring at me with concern. “Please don’t die, Bjorn.” “Okay.” She gave me a sleepy smile, and with her half closed eyes, and in that dreamy state, she looked like an angel. “Hey,” I said, reaching over and rubbing her face. “Thank you for saving my life.” ~ ~ ~ The next morning was my choice of either muffins, or more left over hay fries. I opted for the muffins, since they were steaming and fresh from the bakery, and while Ditzy made our plates ready, she frolicked around her kitchen. I hadn’t had the opportunity to get a good look at her house the night before, but from where I sat, it was small and quaint. With the exception of the books, and posters, and magazines. “So, are you a fan of this kind of stuff?” I asked, bringing up a magazine called, Action from the Under-City, and giving it a wave. “Oh I love crime dramas, and action stories,” she said, setting a banana muffin on my plate. “What kind of stories do you like?” “I don’t remember,” I told her. Her head drooped a little. “Sorry, I forgot.” “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure with enough of a jogging, it will come back to me.” I was convinced of this, and I tried to sound reassuring to her as well. “I mean, after all, I’m doing a lot better than when I first woke up in the hospital and thought I was a pony. Now I can actually understand the words I’m using, and what things are for.” “I wish you were,” she said, taking a bite of her muffin. “Were, what?” “I know,” she said, cleverly avoiding the question, “we should try and jog your memory today!” “That’s sort of what Twilight and Nurse Redhat want to do already, by having me look at whatever it was that was in my pockets.” The muffin was heavenly, just the right amount of moist, and it didn’t gum up in the back of my mouth, causing me to reach for a glass of milk with each bite. Of course, knowing this, meant that I was obviously a muffin connoisseur, or was beginning to establish some sense of memory through association. “Besides,” I told her, “don’t you have work?” Suddenly, Ditzy let out what sounded like a squawk and a choke, and spun her off-set eyes to the nearest clock. Then frowning, she launched her face at the muffin, and consumed it nearly whole, then dashed off for her room. “I forgot!” I took another bite of the muffin, and watched as she bustled around her house searching for her mail-bag, and then drape it over her shoulders, sliding the strap between her wings. “I have to go,” she said, charging up to the table, and draining her glass of milk. “I’ll be back this afternoon, I have a half day today.” “Alright, I’ll either be with that Twilight pony, or with Nurse Redjoy at the hospital.” Then almost as if it were a familiar action, Ditzy leaned in close to my face, and puckered her lips, but caught herself right before she could bring them into contact with my cheek. Her face instantly going red, she looked around, sheepishly, and then reached out and rubbed her hoof on my forehead. “Be good, Bjorn. I’ll be back soon.” It was strange, for just a second, I felt a warmth spread through my own face, and neck. And as soon as she stepped out her door, I felt sad that she had left. It was like a small rock had suddenly lodged in my throat, and I found myself, walking to the door, to open it, and see her off properly. Just as soon as I rested my hand on the doorknob to turn it, the door burst inward, and slammed into my face, sending me flying backward into the living room, where I landed on the floor with a thud, and a groan. “If you want to eat the rest of the hay fries, you can.” Ditzy stood in the doorway, looking me with a comical expression, but one that may have been perfectly natural, depending on the right angle. “What are you doing on the floor? That’s no place to rest, Bjorn.” Then as swiftly as she was in the door, she was back out, and I watched her fly off into the sky, adjusting the bag around her neck, and nearly flying straight into another flying pegasus. Oh, man. It hadn’t occurred to me until just that moment, but my savior, was a major klutz. Chapter 3Dreams are like flowers, only pretty while they’re growing.” ~ Ditzy Doo When Twilight finally came to take me to the hospital, I discovered to my horror, that my attire was a little on the blasted side. I wasn’t really sure what a good set of clothes were supposed to look like, but I imagined that if the clothes had holes and burn marks in them, that meant that it was a bad thing. So she suggested that we go to her friend Rarity’s shop and see what we could do about getting her to mend or at least attempt to mend the damage to my attire. It wasn’t that long of a walk, and yet for some reason, which I cannot say, I was enraptured by the sights of the town. I must have looked like a wide mouthed crazy person, looking with big eyes at everything that I could. “So tell me,” she said to me as we walked. “What’s it like being a human?” I don’t know about anyone else, that is if I had a better grasp of my thoughts, and memory I’d probably know, but I didn’t really ever just sit down and think to myself about how awesome or terrible it was being a human. I hadn’t done so in the past day or two that I had been here, and I can’t really see that as something that I would have done before. “I guess it’s kind of cool,” I told her, not really sure if that was the answer that she was looking for or not, but it was the best I had to offer never the less. “What’s it like being a pony?” “Well, it okay, but sometimes being a pony can be a little boring.” She looked a little sad at the thought, and shrugged a little. “It’s the same thing every day, and truth be told, it’s more fun to imagine being something else.” “Well, I’m sure I’d enjoy being a human more if I understood what it meant. Right now, I’m just some guy with no idea about anything.” I figured if I was going to use my disability, I’d best use it to a good end. “Seems to me, we should be thankful for what we are.” “Yeah, you’re probably right.” ~ ~ ~ Looking back on it, it was rather odd that I didn’t have more of the local ponies going bonkers about my being a non-pony. They were pretty accepting of me, and the fact that I looked nothing like them; I talked, and walked, and walked on two legs I might add, and they didn’t come running out with pitchforks and torches to drive me out of town. Hmm, now I wonder why pitchforks and torches are the preferred method? I should have considered myself more lucky, even though I do so now, it would have at least calmed me some, as me and Twilight made our way to the garment shop, and were asked to step in. Twilight’s friend Rarity was a riot. Never in all my life, or at least the last two days that I could firmly remember of it anyway, had I met with someone, or pony, that was more eccentric, and worrisome over her sense of fashion, or that of anyone else. It was as if she had spent her every waking hour fretting over the smallest detail of fabric and garments. I found her to be hilarious. “I see, I see,” she says to us, as I’m standing in front a tall mirror, letting her rub her hooves all over my clothes. “And you want me to mend them?” “That was the idea,” Twilight said to her, as she reclined back on a small ornamental sofa, tapping her tail and keenly observing the human/pony interaction. “I can pay for the work, if you’re worried about him having money.” “I wouldn’t dream of treating this poor unfortunate creature in such a manner,” she said cutting Twilight a glaring look. “You just need to have your big sister Rarity fix you up. Isn’t that right?” She grabbed my face in her hooves and rubbed my cheeks affectionately, as she made a faux-sympathetic expression. I suddenly imagined that I was a little baby, and helpless, and she was somehow my self-appointed caretaker. Though, I had to wonder how that was going to make Ditzy feel, since she was filling that role rather nicely, and we seemed to get along. “I’m fine with whatever,” I said, as Rarity began to pull on my clothes. “Nonsense.” She was frowning as she pulled the shirt open in the front. “I consider it a learning experience, as well as a challenge to broaden my horizons. Now get out of these clothes, so that I can make some sewing patterns to work with.” I wasn’t sure why at the time, but suddenly getting naked was a little embarrassing. Not that I was ashamed out-right, but that it felt wrong somehow to just stand around naked in front of ponies of the opposite sex. “Wait, wait,” I croaked out, shoving at her hooves. “Isn’t there some kind of changing room I can use?” Changing room, was just one more name for something that I knew, but had no idea how I knew of it. Eventually, I hoped that my memory would come back completely, and if my brain really was mending, then maybe that would happen sooner rather than later. And then I figured that Ditzy and I could have real conversations about the things I liked. “There is a changing room, if you insist on using it.” Rarity looked a little off-put by having to wait, as I could see her all but salivating over the idea of diving into what made my wardrobe tick. Two hours later, I found myself standing in front of the tall mirror once again, only this time wearing a thin short sleeved shirt, pastel blue, and wool trousers, that were actually pretty comfortable. The trousers were light tan, and were of a color to match the shirt. As for my other clothes, the black t-shirt, and black slacks, were donated to Rarity for further study, and in the event that more of my kind happened to wander into Ponyville from the waterfront. “I wish I could say if they looked good or bad.” I didn’t think I looked bad, as I adjusted the new collar on the shirt and pulled it close together, instinctively unbuttoning the top, and letting it hang open. “But I think I look good in them.” Rarity seemed to beam inwardly and outwardly at the compliment, as she clapped her hooves together, and rushed to give me a huge hug around my waist. ~ ~ ~ The hospital experience was as I figured it would be. When we got there, Nurse Redheart was waiting for us, and quickly voiced some concern at our tardiness before we proceeding to be lead to an examination room in the back of the facility. Two days of brain damage, and lost and fragmented memories were all I had to use as tools, when she sat me down in a chair, and proceeded to hand me things that were my personal effects. Why these weren’t given to me when I left was a question I never asked, but if I had to guess, I’d say they were being cautious; since most everything about me was unknown, as were the things I had with me. “Does this thing look familiar to you?” I frowned as hard as I could, and try as I might, I had no clue what the flat squareish device was she laid down in front of me was. It seemed to be made of some hard black material, with a small plate of glass in the center on one side. There was one small button of some sort at the top, but other than that it was a complete mystery. I picked it up delicately, and pressed the button, but nothing happened. “I guess it doesn’t work, what ever it is. And, to answer your question; it doesn’t look at all familiar to me.” Eventually, Item after item were placed in front of me. Some seemed as if they should be familiar, but every single one of them was a complete enigma. “There are two item left in the box,” said Nurse Redheart, just as the door to the examination room opened, and Ditzy entered wearing a smile, which got broader as soon as her eyes saw me sitting there. Nurse Redheart nodded to her, but I doubt she noticed. Rushing up to me, Ditzy patted me on the shoulder affectionately. “Hi’ya Bjorn!” “Hi, Ditzy,” I said, as Nurse Redheart brought out one of the last two items. Ditzy took a quick glance at the table, and regarded the five items on there, tossing her head from side to side as she looked them over. “What about this one?” Nurse Redheart asked, as she placed a heavy, oddly shaped metal device on the table in front of me. It was black metal, and looked like a large version of the letter L. On the short end of the device, was what looked like a place for someone to hold it, and I cupped my palm around it, and brought it up from the table. Security’s been breached! Shaking my head, I realized that I was holding the device straight at Nurse Redheart, and I had taken my left hand and held the bottom of the metal object, to keep it steady. “Get to the landing platform.” “What was that?” Looking up at Nurse Redheart, I shook my head again, and had the strong feeling that I needed to do something with what was in my hand, and as if moving of their own will power, my hands slid along the letter shaped item, and had removed it into two smaller pieces, producing a small concealed slide in box of shiny brass tubes, and had laid them in two pieces on the table. Realizing what I had done, I jumped from the chair, and stepped back away from the table. “What was that you just said,” Nurse Redheart pressed. “I don’t know,” I told her. “Something that someone said to me. I think.” Reaching down, and scooping up the two pieces of the metal object, I placed them back in the box, and reached in to retrieve the last item. A very small thin folded cloth-like item, held together by a small strap. Ditzy was watching me curiously, as was Twilight, though I suspect more at the curiosity at the items they had never before seen. This seemed familiar, but I wasn’t sure what it was used for exactly, and again, relying on instinct, I pulled the strap back and unfolded the item, to be met with a picture of my face. “This is my wallet.” I slid the picture ID out, and held it up, but I had no clue what the words meant, even though I could read them, they had no value as words for me. Just the letters. G-I-L-M-O-R-E-R-O-G-E-R “This is me,” I said, turning the photo ID over in my hands. “This is my wallet, and my identification.” God, I suddenly had a massive headache. Turning the picture around, I showed Ditzy first, then Twilight. “What are those symbols under the picture?” Twilight asked. “I think it’s my name, but I can’t remember what the letters mean.” It’s hard, being so close to answers, and not being able to fully realize them. To have the secret right at one’s fingertips, and being unable to grab it. “I need to go,” I said, suddenly getting up from the chair, and making for the door. “I need to get some air.” ~ ~ ~ Later that afternoon, I was resting on Ditzy’s couch in her living room, when she came in with some tea, and sat it on a small end table. She had been quiet since i came back from the hospital. I knew she was just trying to be accommodating as best she could, and I appreciated her efforts. But I didn’t want to be such a burden to her. Security’s been breached. What did that mean? Why would it have been breached? Where was I at, that something like that could have happened? “Are you okay?” I looked up to meet Ditzy’s honey golden eyes, and nodded silently. Not satisfied with the answer, Ditzy scooted up next to me on the couch, and laid against me. I wasn’t sure, but I felt it was right that I rest my arm across her back and shoulders, and I felt very warm, and comforted. “I’m happy I found you Bjorn,” she said, laying her head against my chest. “You give me something to look forward to.” Get to the landing platform. I was getting closer, I knew it. But I was worried, that the closer I got, the more I learned, that the more upsetting it may be. As I sat there, with Ditzy next to me, I had a fleeting thought. A thought that maybe, I didn’t need to know anything. I was comfortable, relaxed, and somewhat at peace. There was no guarantee that once I got my memory back things would be better, or that I would be as happy as I was at that moment. Bringing my hand up to rub her neck, I told her, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” Yes, that wasn’t so bad. If I had to, I could make all new memories. I would be fine with that. Chapter 4“Happiness is, a warm muffin.” Ditzy Doo After resting up for a bit on Ditzy’s couch, she and I thought it would be a good idea to grab something to eat, and since I had managed to forget to eat at all, to which I earned a strongly worded lecture from Ditzy on eating properly, I jumped at the idea of going into town to find a meal. “You know, I’ve been thinking,” she said as we walked from her house. “I hope it wasn’t about anything bad,” I told her. “Of course, it wasn’t about bad things.” She slapped at my leg playfully with her wing, and grinned. “I was thinking that maybe we could try a few things to get your memory back.” Here it comes. I hadn’t quite decided to tell her that I was beginning to chicken out about getting my memory back, and I was sure she would have been upset if I had mentioned this to her, so I kept it to myself. So instead of telling her I was a big fat coward, and took the liars path. “What kind of things?” “I was thinking, maybe we could try scaring you, like how when a pony gets the hiccups and you give them a good scare, and the hiccups go away; well maybe that could work for you.” She was looking at me very serious, and I know she wasn’t expecting it, but I burst out laughing as hard as I could. “You don’t think it’s a good idea do you?” she said, looking embarrassed by the idea suddenly. “I knew it was a stupid idea.” “It’s not that,” I told her, reaching over and patting her on the shoulder. “It’s just that I have absolutely no idea about hiccups, and for some reason, the word hiccup sounded hilarious. And that whatever it is, it requires someone to scare them to make them go away. I was still giggling a little, and when Ditzy realized that I wasn’t mocking her idea, she found my take on the description as equally funny, and began to smile, then laugh, covering her mouth with the back of her hoof. Suddenly, I stopped walking and took my hand and reached over and pulled her hoof away from her mouth. I can’t really say why I did it, but that it bothered me. “Why do you do that?” I said, shocking her with the act. “You shouldn’t hide your smile.” Looking at me with confusion, and a number of emotions that I couldn’t name at the time, she regarded me like I was new to her world, and didn’t understand some deep meaningful truth about her. “But, I look stupid when I laugh like that,” she said, blinking a few times, waiting for me to grasp the truth that she had just laid out for me. I couldn’t help but feel my heart breaking at the idea, surely she didn’t think that she was stupid when she laughed, it was cruel thinking, it was horrible, and I dropped to my knees, and wrapped my arms around her. “Why would you think that?” “Everyone knows it,” she said. “Well, I don’t know it. I don’t think you look stupid, I think your smile is amazing.” I was squeezing her tightly. “I think you look beautiful when you smile.” “Do... do you really mean it?” she asked, bringing her hooves up and wrapping them around me. “Do you really think I’m beautiful?” “I think you are an angel.” All at once, Ditzy jumped up and down, and squealed as loud as she could, throwing herself against me, and knocking me to the ground backward, and began to kiss me on my face. “Oh, thank you, thank you Bjorn, I love you!” Instantly aware of what she did, Ditzy got a horrified look on her face, and slowly removed herself from over me, and looked down at the ground. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but I know what I heard, and she knew what she said. Did it bother me, that she said it? Not in the least. The truth was, I was very fond of Ditzy, I enjoyed the sound of her voice, and I enjoyed being around her. Her silliness was a breath of fresh air, in the cobweb collecting mush of my brain, and I wanted her to be happy. Maybe I didn’t know a lot of things, and maybe it was a little too soon for words like love and beautiful. But I was a man on borrowed time. I felt it, and I could also feel the haze in my head lifting every moment. Things were becoming clearer, and clearer. Say something dammit. I was kicking myself in the ass, but all I could do was lay on my back, and look up at her. She hadn’t moved in all the time I had been mulling over my thoughts, and I could see that there were tears in her eyes. “Hey, are you alright?” I asked her, reaching a hand out to her. “Bjorn,” she said, looking at me, small streams of tears trailing from the corners of her eyes, and down her face. “I love you.” Before my hand could touch her, she went tense, and sprang forward leaping past me, and running away as fast as she could. “Aww shit!” I yelled, as I jumped from the ground. I knew good and well that I shouldn’t have waited so long before I responded, and it served me right. She probably thought I was revolted or something by the idea. Running after her as fast as I could, I had no idea where I was going or where she had gone. For all I knew, she flew off and was halfway to Abu Dhabi, though I wasn’t exactly sure where that was; and for some reason, I had a mental image of a fat orange cat endlessly attempting to mail another cat there. As I ran, the strangest sensation came over me, and it seemed that I had only recently did something similar, and while I focused on it, I heard voices shouting, and sounds of loud booming noises. When I looked down, I was wearing the same clothes that I had when I was pulled from the water, and I was holding the black metal object. It was called a gun, and I held it out, as I rushed up a set of metal steps. ”Security’s been breached!” There was a face in front of me, and he was speaking in another language, but I understood him clearly. What was I said again, as I rushed past him? This place is going to hell, we have to abort! Abort what? More noise, and I was facing a group of armed men, shouting at me, and one of them brought their gun up at me. . . When I finally stopped running, I was standing in the middle of town, by a large water fountain. My head was clear, and my breathing was heavy, though not as much as it should have been. What ever life I lead before, I was definitely in good physical shape. Sitting on the other side of the fountain, sniffling, was Ditzy. She was struggling to look at her reflection in the water, and I rushed up to her. “There you are,” I said, as I sat down next to her. “You sure can move fast.” Ditzy didn’t look up at me. Her body language was quite clear that she was in turmoil, and I felt a pang of sadness at the thought that I was somehow responsible for it. Reaching my hand over and touching her on her hoof, I leaned over to her. “Ditzy, I want to tell you something.” She didn’t move, she kept staring at the water, and continued to sniff. “You don’t like me.” “Of course I like you, what sort of thing is that to say?” I scooted closer to her, and brought her hoof up to my face, and pressed it against my cheek. It was warm and soft, like fine cotton, and velvet. “Ditzy, you are beautiful, and funny, and very important to me. But I’m messed up right now.” I gave my head a few raps with my knuckles. “I know the words, but I don’t understand what they mean. But if wanting you to be near me, and wanting to be near you, and liking you, and thinking you’re beautiful and an angel that saved me, and lights up the darkest corners of the world; well, if that means love, then I do, I love you.” Her hoof smelled like flowers, and I pressed it to my lips. “But I want to be sure, I want to understand the words, I’m close, I know I am, and having you with me helps me so much, you don’t realize.” Slowly looking up at me, Ditzy’s eyes were pools of emotion, tears, and moonlight reflection. “Oh, Bjorn, no pony has ever said those things to me!” She hugged me fiercely, and cried in joy. “I just knew the moment I found you, that you were special; a gift, sent to me from the heavens!” Pulling her up from my embrace, I looked in her eyes. Those golden honey pools of misdirected amazement, and she leaned in and kissed me on my lips. I felt warmth spread through me all the way to my spine, and I brought my hand back behind her head, and stroked her mane, as she lingered there for just a moment. Before either of us could speak, my stomach rumbled and growled. I gave her a frown, and suggested that we get that meal before I attempted to eat my own leg. That night, Ditzy slept in the bed curled against me. It was strange, but after only a few days, I felt as if I had known her for years. We were old and withered, and happy with each other’s presence, happy with the same company, and the same looks, the same touch. As I laid there, I reflected on the memory I had uncovered from when I was running after her. I had more reservations about learning too much, but now, something told me that if I didn’t, then whatever hopes I had of any sort of relationship with my beautiful gray mare, was going to be greatly hindered by a lack of knowing myself. Stroking her mane, I fell asleep listening to her soft snoring, and breathing noises. A sound that I would grow to love over the course of the next few months. ~ ~ ~ The next several days, I showed great improvement. My ability to recall more and more basic knowledge was improving, though anything about myself, and events were still a complete blank canvas. No longer was I at a loss for what things were, or how they operated, I could recall general information, and information relative to a task, but everything about myself, where I came from, and what sort of things I did were steeped in such a shroud of confusion and mystery, that I often wondered if there were a way to retrieve them from my pad-locked brain. Of course, this is where Twilight Sparkle came in. The resident scientist, geek, and all-around nerd of the town; she had ideas about helping me to get my memory back, and since the incident with my temporary memory several nights back, I was all too eager to be her experimental guinea pig. The first of several experiments involved sitting me in a chair, and strapping me down, with Twilight cranking up a electronic machine that was designed to stimulate brain waves by injecting them with very small currents of electricity. It seemed like the right thing at the time. “Is every-pony ready?” she said with a big grin of excitement on her face. I could tell she was in her element, and yet there was something strangely troubling about the fact, that I was about to get electricity fed directly into my brain. “Uh, are we really sure about this?” I tried to give her the best worried expression I could manage, but unfortunately for me, Twilight was in full fledged discovery mode, and simply brought a pair of goggles down over her eyes. “Here we go!” Flipping the switch, I can only imagine the light show she must have received, but from where I was sitting, it wasn’t just a mild jolt. In fact, the force of the electrical current ripped me from the chair, and threw me back against the wall, where I collapsed with a groan, and smoking fingernails. I opened my mouth to say something, but only gurgles came out at first, followed by a string of insults in Russian, then French, and finally I started going on about sailing, someplace called the Andes, and tropical fish. “Well that was a bust,” she said, coming over and helping me up. “I thought for sure, that a jolt of that kind would be just what you needed.” It was a good thing that Ditzy wasn’t here for this, she’d be pissed, and whenever she got pissed, I started laughing, because her expression when angry was hilarious, which only made her more angry. “Maybe we should try something that doesn’t involve me getting capital punishment,” I said. It was the start of a long week, and by the time it was over, I experienced; being subjected to freezing conditions; closed in a room, and frosted with magical ice abilities; subjected to heat, while cooked in a steam-room with not one but three fires; waterboarded by Big Macintosh, in an experiment designed to recreate the conditions of the environment I was in, at the time of my amnesia, and then lastly, scared out of my wits by Ditzy, while on the toilet, to see if her hiccup theory would jog my memory. All in all, it was productive. I learned that when motivated in just the right way, ponies in Ponyville were relentless in their pursuits, and if one were the object of that pursuit, then God have mercy on their soul. Chapter 5If at first you don't succeed, then sleep on it. Ditzy Doo It was harder to sleep that night than I imagined, and rather than lay there disrupting Ditzy's sleep, I figured it would be best to head into the living room, and indulge the insomnia. Three AM found me sitting on her couch, and worrying the picture ID from my wallet that was found on me in the water. After the weeks spent on getting my memory back, I realized two things. The first was that I was fluent in many languages. The second: I was positive that the letters in Russian on the ID tag spelling out the name Roger Gilmore was not my real name. No matter how much I wanted it to be. Call it intuition, or latent memory, I was sure that I was not this person. Even with no firm solid basis of knowledge of who I truly was; the gun, the Identification, the boot scabbard, and the pieces of the radio headset, all were merely indicators that I was something else. Perhaps dangerous; and the thought of it scared me more than anything. “Can't sleep?” I looked up to catch sight of Ditzy standing in the doorway of the living room. She was wearing a white sleeping shirt which held her wings down close to her side, and she groggily rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hoof. “Not really,” I told her, covering the name tag with my hands. “Was I snoring again?” She took a few steps into the room, and looked around. “No, you were fine.” Walking over, she sat with me on the couch, and noticed the card in my hands. She eyed it for a moment, and then looked up at me. “We will get your memory back, you know.” “Ditzy, what if when I do, I learn things about myself that I don't like?” “Like what?” she said, resting against me, and putting her hoof across my chest. “What if I find out that I'm a bad person, who did bad things, maybe even hurt others?” I set the ID card on her coffee table, and reach back up to stroke her arm. “Do you want to hurt me?” My heart broke for just a second or two. I could feel the lump welling in my throat. But before I could answer, she looked at me with a frown on her face. “I don’t think you do, and I don’t think you will.” It had been a long night of thinking, and insomnia, and for some reason the thought of harming Ditzy broke the dam of emotions I was holding in. I threw myself around her and sobbed into her neck, emotions that I knew I had, and some I didn’t know where there, were suddenly at the surface. She was a good sport about it, wearing a snotty and tear stained shirt back to bed, she pushed me ahead of her, and didn’t stop until I was face down on the mattress. Climbing in the bed after me, she pushed me over, and laid next to me patting me with her hoof. “I’m probably a pretty sorry excuse for a human, huh?” Smiling at me, Ditzy just shook her head. “I’m a pretty sorry excuse for a pegasus, so I have you beat.” I couldn’t help but laugh at her. “I don’t think you’re a sorry excuse for anything, you saved my life, I’ve done nothing.” “And I don’t think you’re a sorry excuse. And you have done something: you make me happy.” In the near two months that I had been staying with her, Ditzy and I had done nothing more than kiss occasionally, but for the first time, I felt a burning passion for her in that moment; the likes of which I can’t explain. I knew I needed to feel her against me, and her mouth on mine. I wanted to be as close to her as I possibly could, in both mind and body, and I gently scooted closer to her and wrapped her in an embrace. What we did next, well... it was long overdue, and was the closest thing to pure magic as two lovers could make. ~ ~ ~ The next day came as a rush of frenetic excitement, and enthusiasm as I had been invited, finally, to have an audience with the ruler of Equestria, the much talked about, and rarely seen; Princess Celestia. From what I was told, she was a benevolent ruler, and procrastinator, that often gifted her royal duties to her subjects; because she’d spent too much time doing who knew the hell what, when she should be handling mishaps in the kingdom. Nevertheless, with a packed lunch from Ditzy, and an accompanying Twilight Sparkle—grinning like a buffoon from princess hero worship—I was placed on the express to Canterlot. Mostly out of curiosity about the human occupying a semi-permanent residence at Ponyville, but also, because I was wanting to finally get some part-time work, and as an alien resident, it could only be granted from the mayor, or the ruling monarchy. Having her concerns about taking that responsibility upon herself, the mayor chose to defer to the Princess’s judgement on the matter, and a few days later I found myself sitting between an elderly pony, and Twilight Sparkle; grinning and rambling on and on about all the things that she and her friends had done on behalf of their slacker ruler. Since my memory had returned a great deal, I had the strong knowing that I had been on a train before, but the reasons were still locked memories beyond my reach. The hows and the whys were unimportant in the broad scheme of things, but at the least, they were memories I knew I owned. The train ride was mostly uneventful, unless one were to count the endless ramblings of Twilight about all the great things Princess Celestia is, and how great of a ruler she is, and all that she had done for Ponyville and Equestria. Though after twenty minutes of her going on, I drifted to sleep, and I can only assume she quieted down. Waking up abruptly when the train pulled into Canterlot, I was awakened to the sight of Twilight reading a book, and look rather on edge. Though I had to assume it was about her meeting with the Princess, and how exactly my interaction was going to proceed. There were a lot of strange looks, and I had no choice but to take them in stride. After all, this wasn’t Ponyville; it was Canterlot, and above all else, the entire city reeked of high class, high brow snootiness. “Now, there’s nothing to be worried about,” Twilight told me as we made our way from the station. “Princess Celestia is a wonderful host, and wouldn’t harm a fly.” I gave her a smile to show that I understood, but I wasn’t in this for the warm reception. I was doing this because I wanted something, and people that wanted something were either going to cower under the pressure, or rise to the challenge, and face the requirement head on. And there was always a requirement. ~ ~ ~ When we finally made it into the palace, or castle, or whatever the hell it was, there was a bustle of ponies, and guards, and surprisingly we were taken straight to the Princess. She was seated at the end of a long and ornate room, sort of up on this podium area, but there was no throne, or chair, just the floor. I have to admit, she was not at all what I was expecting to see. Now exactly what I was expecting to see, was something like a holy light shining and radiating off her body, with maybe a crown, and some angels floating in the air beside her. But then that image may have been partly inspired by Twilight’s idea about what the Princess should be. “I’m so glad you could make it Twilight Sparkle.” The Princess was smiling when she said this, so I had to guess that it meant she wasn’t pissed at the imposition of the meeting; which meant that I could probably live enough to have my request heard. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight wasted no time rushing the Princess and giving her a generous bow, and then proceeded to plow into her with a million details about both the trip, the letters that she had sent, and oh yeah, somewhere in there was a mention of me. After what seemed like an hour of Twilight talking on and on, the Princess finally turned her attention to me, and began to ask me some various questions. Of course one of them was not what I was expecting, in the least. “Well, Bjorn; I understand that your accident has left you with a terrible loss of your memory.” “Uh, yes ma’am... I mean, yes your Highness.” I wasn’t very well versed on how to deal with royalty, but I fIgured she wasn’t the sort to have me taken out behind the palace and shot for a few mistakes in proper etiquette. “It’s alright,” she said. “You don’t have to be so long on ceremony around here.” Her smiles seemed really genuine, and I was instantly placed at ease. “I’m sure, that Twilight has mentioned me quite a bit, and I have to tell you, that I am making great progress in getting my memory back... though.” “Though?” “Though, I’m a bit worried, that when I do get my memory back, I won’t really care for what I find out about myself.” There, I told her. I had doubts about myself, and now she could pass judgement, or lay down whatever divine smack-down she wanted. “Have you ever considered the possibility that I could restore your memory?” she asked. It was one of those moments in history that I doubt I’ll forget. One of those moments, where a decade from now, someone would ask me; where I was when I’d heard the news that I could have my memory back, and what exactly did Twilight Sparkles face look like. “Honestly, that never crossed my mind.” “This is great!” Twilight said, barely able to contain her excitement. “This is better than we could have imagined possible.” I had to admit, that I was beyond surprised, but there was something that was keeping me from just diving right in, and relishing in this sudden turn of fantastic fortune. “Something is wrong, isn’t it?” Celestia asked me, noticing the look of hesitancy. “I’m not ready.” “How can you not be ready, Bjorn?” Twilight came rushing up, she looked defeated, as if it were her own idea I was shooting down out of the sky. “Aren’t you the least bit interested in getting your memory back? We can do this right here and now.” “I know, and while I appreciate the offer, your Highness, I’m not ready to have it handed to me on silver platter just yet.” Taking a moment, to consider what I was getting at, Celestia finally nodded her head. “I completely understand what you are saying. Time is the greatest healer of wounds, both in the heart and in the mind. When you are ready, and if of course, if your memory has failed to come back, then you can come to me at any time.” “Thank you,” I said, exhaling, and nodding. “I’m grateful for the offer.” Twilight looked as if I had taken her recent science project and smashed it on the floor, and then gotten a “A” for effort at wrecking her work. I did sort of feel sorry for her, but at the moment, this wasn’t about her; it was about me, and there was still one more piece of business that needed addressing. “Your Highness, there is something else.” Celestia raised an eyebrow, and nodded. “Of course, if there is anything I can do to make your stay more hospitable, let me know.” “Well, as you may or may not be aware, I have been staying with a mail-pony named Ditzy Doo, and while she and I have grown quite close over these past few months, I feel as if my status as guest has reached its limit.” I stood as tall as I could for this next part. “I’m not sure how long I will be here, and to be honest, I’m not sure if my leaving is something I may want to consider for a long time; and since I plan on being here, both as a resident of Ponyville, and a member of Ditsy’s household, I feel that I should be able to contribute... like maybe a job.” For a second or two, Celestia just looked at me, and smiled, as if in thought. "Granted." It was like a two-for day for shocks and surprises. Once again, both Twilight and myself were standing in excited amazement with out mouths open. "Just like that?" "Just like that." Celestia, came over and placed a hoof on my shoulder, gazing at me deeply in the eyes. "I feel great good in you Bjorn, and should you come to realize it, you will become an asset to this kingdom, both to the ponies, and especially the one you have great feelings for." I wanted to suddenly burst into tears, but then a fleeting reminiscence of manliness emerged, and I just thanked her as much as I could. This was going to be fantastic. Now that I had the blessing from the Princess, I could find work, and finally contribute to Ditzy's house. I wanted to be an active member of her family, and there was only way to do that. "Thank you again, Princess," I said, giving a brief bow. "Remember, Bjorn, you are more than you can know, and when the day comes, you will be tried, and tested. But the strength is within you, and you alone." Chapter 6You can move in the dark, but you still need a light. ~ Ditzy Doo I was in really good spirits when Twilight and me got back to Ponyville. She had wanted to stay longer with the Princess, but I couldn't let her, I had to get back and start making my on mark on the world. This was going to be great, and I figured now that I could help out Ditzy, this was going to be the peak of a fantastic day. I was all giddy and excited when she came in from her shift, and I all but tackled her at the door, and planted a dozen kisses on her before she could wiggle out of my grasp. "Wow! You sure are in a good mood Bjorn. I guess that means your trip to Canterlot went well." "It was better than that," I said, pulling her to me, and setting her on her couch with me. "I've got wonderful news. The princess has granted me permission to get employment here." There was a funny look on Ditzy's face for a moment, as she contemplated exactly what that meant, and then her eyes sprung open suddenly. "That means you can get a job in Ponyville!" I laughed and tossed my head back. Ditzy kissed me on my neck and cheeks. Her nose was slightly cold, and it tickled my neck, causing me to fall back on the couch. "Alright! I surrender!" I said, continuing to laugh, as she pounced on me in play domination. When Ditzy was satisfied with my submission, and she had given me a few kisses for good measure, I Sat up, and wiped away some slobber from the corner of my lips. Ditzy just laughed at me, as I swiped at her with the moist hand. "There was something else, I found out while I was at Canterlot," I told her. "What's that?" “Well,” I said, sliding her off of me and sitting up, “she said that she could give me my memories back.” “Really?” Ditzy said, getting excited, and bouncing on the couch. “That's great! So what did you say?” “I told her no.” Ditzy had a confused look on her face, as her smile faded. Yeah, it's true, I felt like a grade-A asshole right then. I hated seeing her look disappointed. More than anything, I hated feeling like I was being difficult, especially considering all that the ponies in town had done for me, and then here I go and make waves in the flow of their lifestyle. “I know you have doubts, Bjorn, but if Princess Celestia can give you back your memory, then maybe that's something you should consider.” “I thought I was ready to learn everything; but I'm not,” I said, making every attempt to sound as assured of my decision as I could. “Listen, Ditzy, I want to be with you, and as long as I have the past looming over me, I don't think I can ever make new memories, or make a new life. I don't want to know what sort of person I was, and I don't want to remember my life before. I just want to start over... with you.” “Okay,” she finally said, understanding what I was meaning. She looked relieved, and strangely happy. “So, where do you think you might want to get a job?” I had to chuckle a little, because it was going to sound stupid, but, “I was thinking I might try getting a job at the post office, that way we could see each other every day.” Instantly her eyes went wide with excitement. “Oh Bjorn! That would be amazing! You should really do that! I'd love to have you work with me!” More hugs and kisses ensued. Obviously it was the right choice, seeing as how it was clearly Ditzy approved. Wiping away more of the Ditzy slobber, I took her by the shoulders. “There's just one thing I want to do. If I'm ever going to put the past behind me, I want to have some closure on the old life.” “What is it?” “I want to see where you found me in the water.” ~ ~ ~ It was nearing late evening when Ditzy and I reached the large lake, where she found me. At first, I had a hard time believing that I was found here. There was nothing that could account for it. How I had gotten from my world to a large lake near Ponyville was almost more than I could fathom. The lake was surrounded on one side by a small group of trees, and so Ditzy and I walked toward them. “I wasn't far from here,” she said, as she trotted along beside me. “I was making up a few last minute deliveries, and I saw a bright light, and heard a huge rumble.” A bright light huh? So, whatever it was that sent me here was a bright light, and something that made a large rumble. “When I got here to see what it was, I saw you floating in the water just up ahead.” She pointed toward the trees, and when I followed her hoof, I noticed a light coming from the wood line next to the lake. “Huh. You don't say.” “That's funny, there's some light coming from up there,” Ditzy said. We had walked long enough that it had already gotten dark on us, and this faint light from up ahead had me on edge something terrible. Like a million pin-points of light suddenly turning on all at once, I was bombarded with isolated memories. Things that had happened, things I had done, and things I had seen; all surging and assaulting my brain with the force of a meteor. But the most shocking thing, was what I said when I turned to Ditzy. "Keep low, and stay here. I'm gonna go check this out." My forehead felt tight, and I realized I was frowning hard; focused and determined. Ditzy did as I said, and hunkered down in the bushes, as I crouched along, taking in the light as I got closer and closer. It was as if, every step toward that light opened up newer memories, and locked memories, and things that I had spent the past few days convincing myself that I never wanted to know. And yet, here I was heading straight into them. For all purposes, I should have been terrified, but my heart was beating normal, and my pulse was not racing. I knew the reason of course, was because I had done this sort of things a hundred times. Call it irony, fate, or some twisted sense of cosmic humor, but as I neared the clearing where the light was, I found there was more I had in common with the fictitious Mason Bjorn, than I ever knew possible. The clearing was less than two dozen yards away, and I could make out movement, in the darkness. Three people were moving among the light, which looked like a fire from a camp. I was just about to continue moving towards them when I heard the movement behind me. Someone had been out on patrol. I waited for the sentry to announce his arrival, and true to experience, he didn't fail me. "Alright, hands up, and get to your feet." It wasn't a loud command, but it was stern, and most certainly, Russian. Rising slowly to my feet, I felt the barrel of the weapon press into my back, and I used my upward momentum to turn and swiftly bring my upper body around, catching the guard at the forearm, and using my right hand to upper-cut him in the chin, all in two movements, leaving me standing there with his gun, and a freshly unconscious sentinel at my feet. Looking back to make sure, that the encounter wasn't noticed, I watched to see if more would emerge. When they didn't I drug the guard deeper into the forest, and gagged him with the sleeve from his arm, and tied his hands to a small tree behind him with his belt. It wasn't the perfect thing, but it would serve my purpose. The guard's nine millimeter hand gun had a tactical light on the end, and I used it give me illumination as I searched his pockets, and trousers. In his front pocket was a folded canvas wallet, identical to mine, and when I slipped it open, I saw the same type of ID card I had, complete with the words феникс yслуги (Phoenix Services), in the top left corner. There it was. That moment I swore to myself I didn't want. The moment in my current life where I learned that I was a villain. And with that revelation, everything about my past was suddenly unlocked. One big flash of light, and the crack opened the floodgates of memory. Phoenix Services was a crooked international security firm for hire, and worked primarily in Central Europe and some in the former Soviet Union. What set the security agents apart from other trained special enforcers, were that these guys were usually ex-military, spec-ops and USA intelligence agents that fled with secrets to the other side of the line that could always pay better. In my case, the pay wasn't just good, it was phenomenal. A Siberian research company had converted an off-shore oil rig in the Kara Sea to a science lab, and Phoenix Services had been hired to head up the company's security. Everything was hush-hush; all part of some project designed to create artificial singularities, and gravity wells. But then, something went wrong, and the whole thing ignited like a tender-box One minute I'm standing near the generator housing, walking perimeter, and the next armed operatives are infiltrating the rig, with their detonation devices going off, which happened to rupture the cooling tanks on the power generators, sending everyone in a panic. I could clearly remember rushing up the service corridors to the top, when I was confronted by Gamma Team, and they were shouting, "Security's been breached!" "Get to the landing platform! We have to evacuate now!" I rounded the last landing before the final flight to the top, when a shot was taken at me, ricocheting off the metal walls. I was in a low crouch, and pulled my boot knife, and tossed it at the assailant, burying the blade in his shoulder. There wasn't time to screw around, I had to get off the rig; somehow I knew it was minutes from complete detonation, but instead of exploding, there was a huge rush of wind, light, and then a reverse feeling, as if the world were pulling me back as hard as it could. The landing platform was my final destination. I was heading for the nearest helicopter, but a huge beam of light literally cut through the floors of the rig, out to the open sky, sucking me, the railing, the floor, the debris and anything within a two hundred meter diameter with it. Pitch black, and cold rushing water later, I was being pulled from the lake here by Ditzy. These men were from the rig, they were from Phoenix, and while I was one of them, I knew better than to just walk up on them. They were too hard core to care about shooting first or second to the questions. Turning back to the camp site, I crouched and moved further in, until I was close enough to get a better idea of what was there. Seven men were there. Clearly they had arrived only a few days ago, and were unaware of the fact that they were less than a mile from Ponyville. Their spot being one of the more secluded, which was a good thing. The last thing I needed was Phoenix security goons running havoc through the town. Moving further in, I heard them talking, some in Slavic, but mostly, Russian dialect. "I'm going after him. That bastard, Sven; he knows better than to turn his headset off." One closest to the fire was shaking his head, and rose. "I've already sent Jovan to find him. We should wait, Provich doesn't want us contaminating the place any more than we already have." Oh shit. This was bad, if they find Sven tied to the tree, they'll know that someone is out here, and worse... Ditzy wasn't far from where Sven was tied. I had to get back to her, and get her back to Ponyville. Inching back, I started moving away from the camp, when I heard clearly a laugh, and then, "That's the strangest fucking thing I've ever seen!" Turning back to the camp, I saw to my bewilderment, Ditzy being dragged into camp by who could only have been, Jovan. "Found this thing wandering around the dark," he said, as he examined her. Ditzy was wrapped in a net, and bound with rope. She was terrified, and I was instantly on my feet moving directly for them. "You were told, not to interfere with things here!" one of them said to Jovan. "Provich is going to have our ass for this!" "What's he going to do? Hurt me with cash?" Jovan let out a guttural laugh, just as I walked up behind him, with the gun at his head. "он является менее ваши заботы (He's the least of your worries)," I told him, just as I squeezed the trigger.
Chapter 1“Water is a giver, and what it gives is wet.” ~ Ditzy Doo There it was again. That voice. I was only vaguely aware that I was even moving my arms, because from where I was laying, there was nothing to see, yet every time I moved, I heard the same voice. “Now, now, you mustn’t move so much, you’re in no condition to exert yourself . . . poor creature.” Poor creature? When I thought about it though, I did feel pretty poorly. Everything was black, like the lights were turned off, and all I knew was the sound of the voice, which scolded me every time I made a move. Jeez, what was so bad about wanting to scratch an itch. Of course, there was nothing like laying in complete and total darkness, and feeling like you’re about to fall off of a really high perch or, high place, or something high . . . I was having a hard time putting together coherent words. It didn’t take long before I found the effort of thinking to be too taxing, and I drifted off to sleep, right about the time, I heard a second voice waft through the darkness. “Hello, can you hear me yet?” I wanted to say, “Yes, loud and clear.” But I had already drifted too far off. ~ ~ ~ I woke up the next morning, with a firm monotonous poking on my shoulder, and because it was dark, or rather, because I could feel that my entire head was wrapped in something, I had no clue what the poking was, or where it was coming from, or if maybe I was imagining everything, and it was really my body somehow dying on me, and it was all starting as some sort of strange rhythmic spasm in left shoulder. But that was probably not the case. The poking continued for a while, and eventually I decided that it was time I put an end to it, and moved my hand to swat it away, only to find my hands had been restrained by something. Well this was way out of line. I was in no mood to be toyed with, and it was now time to be vocal. “Oh my,” came the soothing drifty and far away voice from before, that is, before I conked out before. “I see someone is awake.” I was trying to move my mouth to form the words I wanted to speak, but as soon as I thought of what I wanted to say, the poking resumed again, and this time it was focused on my head. Well, there went any hopes of me trying to actually put together something sage-like and profound, so it ended up being an unintelligible muffled gibberish. Which was probably due to the fact that my mouth was wrapped as tight as the rest of my face. “Oh, stop that!” the soothing voice said, and instantly the poking ceased. God bless you soothing voice. You were my new hero. “Don’t you have work dear?” the voice said, and I realized that it was speaking to someone else, which meant that if two plus two equals four then that meant that the poking was actually someone else poking me. Why of all the deliberately strange things to do, and for some reason, I thought of ways to get even, with who or what was doing that cursed poking. “I wanted to see how he was doing.” It sounded like the voice from before, the other voice from before. So that meant that three plus three was, oh who cared. “Well, alright dear, but you’ll have to stand back.” Stand back? What was going to happen? Was I about to do something? “Can you hear me?” This was my chance, I just knew it. I mumbled a few things, through the wrappings over my face, then waited. “I see. Alright, I’m about to remove the bandages a little bit.” I could feel things pulling on my arms, and then suddenly they were free. Though the truth be told, I was too terrified of what was coming next to try and struggle much. I figured the best thing I could do was to sit there and take what was coming, even if I had no idea what I was about to do. I was obviously a mystery. The next part took me by complete shock, when the voice told me, “Now I have to tell you dear, you’ve been in a terrible accident, and it was thanks to pure luck that you were rescued when you were, or else the damage would have been much more extensive.” Accident? Oh man, I hated this news. There were things pulling on my head, and I could feel fabric being removed from my face, then as suddenly as sudden things can happen, there was a sharp piercing light in both of my eyes, and I instinctively brought my arms up to shield my face. “Now it’s alright,” I heard the voice say. “There is nothing to be afraid of.” That’s easy for you to say. “Easy does it.” There was more wrappings being removed, and as the last of them were brought away, I slowly opened my eyes. before me I saw, well, I saw two smiling faces. One of them was bright white, and wore a strange cap on her head, and just behind her, I had to assume it was a her anyway, was another face, all gray with bright blond hair. “Where am I?” It sort of shocked me, hearing my own voice. I guess I expected it to sound deeper or something. “Who are you?” “Yay!” I looked past the white faced lady and saw the gray faced lady clapping her, well it was hard to describe, but hooves would be the best word I can use. She was definitely clapping her hooves. “My name is Nurse Redheart, and you’re in the Ponyville hospital.” “What’s wrong with me?” “First, try and tell us what you remember last,” she said. “What was the last thing you did, or were doing?” Hmm, that was a toughie. I wasn’t really sure on that one. I told her that I remembered being in some sort of water; to which the gray faced lady started spinning about, and clapping more. “Yay! Do you remember me picking you up from the water?” she said to me, leaning in close to the doctor. “As a matter of fact . . . no.” Her face drooped a little. “What’s your name dear?” Redheart asked, as she pressed her hoof gently on my forehead, making a face of concern. “Oh that’s easy,” I told her. “I don’t remember.” Damn, no name. I knew I had one, but for some reason it was as blank as the face of the nurse. That is, white, no, blank was right the first time. “Ooh, I know,” said the gray faced lady behind Redheart. “We can call him Bjorn.” “What?” Redheart asked. I could tell she thought it was a ridiculous suggestion, but only because her face seemed to say it. “Yeah, it’s perfect. We can call you Mason Bjorn, it’s the name of my favorite hero in my all-time favorite spy novels!” “Actually, that’s not too bad,” I said, considering it could have been something like Brittany or Justin. “Are you telling me you don’t remember your name, or what you were doing?” Nurse Redheart was checking my arms and legs as she asked me this, and I know that it must have been difficult for her to understand, but it was the honest truth. “Oh dear,” she said. “I’m afraid it’s worse than we thought.” Worse, what was so wrong with me before? “I’m afraid you have amnesia.” Suddenly the gray lady jumped between me and Nurse Redheart, and brought her face as close to mine as she could, smiling broadly. “Hi Bjorn, I’m Ditzy! I found you in the water!” Her face was not right, that is to say, it was different than the nurse’s. Aside from being gray, she had eyes that seemed to look in different directions; golden honey colored eyes that radiated electric excitement. “Hi Ditzy,” I said waving at her. “So is this amnesia a bad thing?” “Yes,” Redheart said. “It means that you have no memory.” “Well, that doesn’t sound all that horrible. But what was I wrapped up in bandages for?” Suddenly both Ditzy and Nurse Redheart looked somewhat uncomfortable, and Nurse Redheart reached beside her and brought up a hand mirror in her hooves. “I’m afraid the accident has left you rather disfigured Mister Bjorn.” “What?” “We did the best we could, but the healing magic from the doctors just wasn’t enough to bring your fur back, to say nothing of your face.” holding up the hand mirror for me to get a look at myself, I held my breath and beheld my face, or what was left of it anyway. “Oh God no!” I shouted reaching for the mirror. “Oh no, I’m hideous!” Honestly, there wasn’t really anything wrong with my face. I just assumed that I’d look something like them, but then, considering my trauma, I guess a little panic was in order, seeing as how I was actually a human, and they were ponies. Yeah, that’s right, ponies. The animal kind, and had I not had some sort of brain trauma, I’d have easily remembered that ponies were not supposed to talk, or walk, or hand me mirrors. “I think you look cute!” said Ditzy, as she bounded over to me, and looked into the mirror with me. “Like a little tiny cuddly kitten.” Boy was she ever hitting for center field, and striking out. “Will my face grow back?” I asked, in a panic, and at the verge of tears. “It’s hard to say my dear. For now you need to focus on getting better. You need to rest, and see if any of your memory comes back.” “Oh shoot!” Ditzy said, as she noticed the clock on the wall. “I have my routes.” “Routes?” I asked, not understanding. “I’m a mail-mare,” she said striking a pose, and saluting. “From Canterlot to Trottingham, and Cloudsdale to Ponyville; no rain shall win, or wind prevail, to keep the ponies from their mail!” “Oh wow.” I said, clearly impressed, but mostly from the chant. “Well best of luck on your routes Miss Ditzy.” Then as if a thought only just occurred to her, she moved over close, and whispered in my ear, “If anyone brings up Derpy, just ignore it.” “What’s a Derpy? Is it bad?” “Yes,” she said, in a serious tone. “Make sure you have nothing to do with it.” “Absolutely not, you have my word.” Though really, I was not exactly sure what I was giving my word for, it seemed best to err on the side of caution. “Gotta go,” she said, and trotted out of the room. “She’s a nice lady.” “Well, she certainly is an interesting pony,” said Nurse Redheart, “I’ll give her that.” What a strange day this was turning out to be. I guess, I should have been more panicky than I was, but for some reason, I hadn’t a care in the world, except for thinking that my face was horribly disfigured in an accident, and that I had no memory of who or where I was, or what I was doing. All in all, not a bad day. “Now, you get some rest, I’ll check back in on you in an hour or so.’ Suddenly her face took on a more serious expression, with the next part. “There were some things in your possession, when you were brought in, and well . . . some of them were quite unsettling Mister Bjorn.” She left the hospital room, and I suddenly felt a chill of unease. It was that last part that had me. What could I have had? But then, what was I doing in the water in the first place? One thing was for sure, I had questions, and when i got back on my feet, and out of this hospital, I intended to find some answers.
Chapter 2“If you live in the sky, then it’s always breezy.” ~ Ditzy Doo Since I wasn't just tired but borderline crazy with exhaustion, I took the nurse's advice and rested. which turned out to be about twelve hours of sleep. And just when I thought my shock to the senses couldn't be more compounded, I had a visitor that set my world on end, yet again. "I don't know how you could have mistaken him for a pony." At the present, a purple pony was standing by my bed eying me from all angles. "You didn't find it strange that he doesn't have a muzzle, doesn't have hooves, and is missing a tail?" All clearly good points, I might add. Too bad she wasn't here when they first took off my bandages, then I might not have lamented the loss of my fur, or my disfigured face. "Well, of course we noticed, but given his cuts and burns, we had no reason to suspect he wasn’t the victim of some tragic accident." Nurse Redheart looked a little upset. "Uh, hi." I waved a hand at the pony. "Twilight, was it? Yeah, thing is, if I'm not a horribly mangled pony, then what am I?" "That's easy," she said invisibly lifting up a book for me to see. "You're a human." Well I guess it made sense, even if it was a tad disappointing. "What's a human?" I had almost forgot that Ditzy was in the room, she had come straight over after her job, and had waited for me to wake up. She looked tired. "They are a being from the stars. Or at least it says so in my book." Never thought of myself as a star dweller, but then as messed up as my thinking had been I could have been from a cave, and accepted that as a rational answer. This whole amnesia thing was beginning to be a pain in the ass. "So then if I'm not mangled, does that mean I have to stay in the hospital?" ~ ~ ~ It took a lot of convincing on her end, but not long after, Ditzy managed to let the hospital release me into her care. Not that it really mattered to me, I just wanted out of that bed, and since she was the one who saved, me it was somewhat comfortable being around her. For some reason, as my head started to clear, things began to unnerve me, and the hospital was a huge flashing red warning light of stress. Nurse Redheart still wanted to discuss the items found with me, but at Twilight's suggestion everyone there agreed that it could wait until the next day. So, dressed back into the clothes they found me in, and catching a few odd looks from the locals, I followed Ditzy into her home. She said she was a pegasus pony, and had tried living in Cloudsdale, but that she preferred to stay closer to her work, so she lived in Ponyville, which was why it didn’t take us long to reach her house. One thing I was grateful for, was that at least things were working better in my thoughts. Two plus two still equaled four, and being human seemed more correct for some reason, though I was a little disappointed at the thought of not being able to grow back some awesome colored fur. "Home sweet home," she said, stretching her wings. Then looking over at me curiously, "I know I promised to take care of you, but I don't think I have any human food. Sorry." At the thought of food my stomach growled. "I'll have whatever you're having." "Are you sure, I wouldn't want you to get sick." "If it's good enough for you, then it's good enough for me." Though I said that then, I did sort of grow to regret it later. Left over hay fries were not the ideal first meal for me after waking up from the hospital, but considering that I had gone from being a disfigured pony to an out of pocket human, at least fate was taking me somewhat in a forward motion. It’s hard to describe something, when everything you know is gone. So exactly what hay fries tasted like would be impossible to explain. So basically, I guess they tasted like deep fried grass, twisted together in little thumb sized sticks, and dipped in sauce. Ditzy ate hers with something she called Dragonian Fire Splash, which sounded oddly interesting so I generously helped myself. Though after the burning sensation left my mouth, and I could speak again, she thought it best if I try mustard or ketchup. After we finished eating, Ditzy took the plates and tossed them in the sink, and while she was moving around me in the kitchen, I watched her clean. I did offer to help, but she seemed annoyed at the idea. When she backed up into me, and brushed her backside against my arm, is when I noticed she had some sort of spot on her, and being a kind person, I grabbed the closest towel, and proceeded to wipe it off. Little did I know that it was permanent, and that she was going to go rigid and nearly kick me as soon as I did it. “That tickles,” she said, as soon as I stopped, realizing that I had done something I probably wasn’t supposed to. She turned to face me, and I could tell that she was beyond exhaustion. She looked like she was about to pass out at any moment. “You look sleepy,” she said. I think it should be the other way around, I thought. Showing me to her bedroom, she motioned for the bed, and said I could sleep there, that she would sleep on her couch. I watched her head out of the room, and made my way to the frilly bed, surrounded by wall scrolls of what I could only imagine were ponies fighting, or posing, or something. All of them said the same thing, Mason Bjorn, or Mason Bjorn Returns. I was beginning to see why my name came so easily to her mind. She had a creepy obsession with this guy, Bjorn. The bed was not as soft as it looked, and while there were enough pillows on it, it didn’t help much. Of course having slept for twelve hours, I was not all that sleepy, but figured with the injuries I’d sustained, and being in the water, I might as well try to take it easy. On her bed was a giant muffin pillow, and I didn’t want to toss it on the floor, so I just scooted all of the pillows, and plushies to one side of the bed. Thinking better of sleeping in my clothes, I undressed, and crawled in, pulling the thick comforter up to my chin. The bedding smelled like something sweet, and warm, and it didn’t take long before I was out. In the twelve hours that I was sleeping in the Ponyville hospital, I don't recall dreaming at all. But that night in Ditzy's bed, I found myself having vivid, and strange dreams. In them I was saying and doing things that I didn't understand, calling names to other humans, and running. Then at some point, there was water, and the floating sensation. I woke with a start, and sat up in the bed, instantly regretting it, as it pulled the sore muscles and caused the cuts to instantly start stinging. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, and I had a million things flooding my mind. I needed to focus, to find some point of focus, and turn the surge of memory into something more refined. "My name is Mason Bjorn," I whispered, while looking at the posters on the wall. "My name is Mason Bjorn, and I'm a human, I'm in Ponyville, I've been injured . . . my name is Mason Bjorn." After I had my little talk with myself, I felt my thoughts that were about to make sense again, slowly start fogging over, and laid back in the bed with a groan. I let my arms fall to my side, and my right arm brushed something bulky and warm, and fuzzy. Turning, I noticed that Ditzy was in the bed with me, curled into a small ball, and clutching her muffin pillow tightly. She was awake, and staring at me with concern. “Please don’t die, Bjorn.” “Okay.” She gave me a sleepy smile, and with her half closed eyes, and in that dreamy state, she looked like an angel. “Hey,” I said, reaching over and rubbing her face. “Thank you for saving my life.” ~ ~ ~ The next morning was my choice of either muffins, or more left over hay fries. I opted for the muffins, since they were steaming and fresh from the bakery, and while Ditzy made our plates ready, she frolicked around her kitchen. I hadn’t had the opportunity to get a good look at her house the night before, but from where I sat, it was small and quaint. With the exception of the books, and posters, and magazines. “So, are you a fan of this kind of stuff?” I asked, bringing up a magazine called, Action from the Under-City, and giving it a wave. “Oh I love crime dramas, and action stories,” she said, setting a banana muffin on my plate. “What kind of stories do you like?” “I don’t remember,” I told her. Her head drooped a little. “Sorry, I forgot.” “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure with enough of a jogging, it will come back to me.” I was convinced of this, and I tried to sound reassuring to her as well. “I mean, after all, I’m doing a lot better than when I first woke up in the hospital and thought I was a pony. Now I can actually understand the words I’m using, and what things are for.” “I wish you were,” she said, taking a bite of her muffin. “Were, what?” “I know,” she said, cleverly avoiding the question, “we should try and jog your memory today!” “That’s sort of what Twilight and Nurse Redhat want to do already, by having me look at whatever it was that was in my pockets.” The muffin was heavenly, just the right amount of moist, and it didn’t gum up in the back of my mouth, causing me to reach for a glass of milk with each bite. Of course, knowing this, meant that I was obviously a muffin connoisseur, or was beginning to establish some sense of memory through association. “Besides,” I told her, “don’t you have work?” Suddenly, Ditzy let out what sounded like a squawk and a choke, and spun her off-set eyes to the nearest clock. Then frowning, she launched her face at the muffin, and consumed it nearly whole, then dashed off for her room. “I forgot!” I took another bite of the muffin, and watched as she bustled around her house searching for her mail-bag, and then drape it over her shoulders, sliding the strap between her wings. “I have to go,” she said, charging up to the table, and draining her glass of milk. “I’ll be back this afternoon, I have a half day today.” “Alright, I’ll either be with that Twilight pony, or with Nurse Redjoy at the hospital.” Then almost as if it were a familiar action, Ditzy leaned in close to my face, and puckered her lips, but caught herself right before she could bring them into contact with my cheek. Her face instantly going red, she looked around, sheepishly, and then reached out and rubbed her hoof on my forehead. “Be good, Bjorn. I’ll be back soon.” It was strange, for just a second, I felt a warmth spread through my own face, and neck. And as soon as she stepped out her door, I felt sad that she had left. It was like a small rock had suddenly lodged in my throat, and I found myself, walking to the door, to open it, and see her off properly. Just as soon as I rested my hand on the doorknob to turn it, the door burst inward, and slammed into my face, sending me flying backward into the living room, where I landed on the floor with a thud, and a groan. “If you want to eat the rest of the hay fries, you can.” Ditzy stood in the doorway, looking me with a comical expression, but one that may have been perfectly natural, depending on the right angle. “What are you doing on the floor? That’s no place to rest, Bjorn.” Then as swiftly as she was in the door, she was back out, and I watched her fly off into the sky, adjusting the bag around her neck, and nearly flying straight into another flying pegasus. Oh, man. It hadn’t occurred to me until just that moment, but my savior, was a major klutz.
Chapter 3Dreams are like flowers, only pretty while they’re growing.” ~ Ditzy Doo When Twilight finally came to take me to the hospital, I discovered to my horror, that my attire was a little on the blasted side. I wasn’t really sure what a good set of clothes were supposed to look like, but I imagined that if the clothes had holes and burn marks in them, that meant that it was a bad thing. So she suggested that we go to her friend Rarity’s shop and see what we could do about getting her to mend or at least attempt to mend the damage to my attire. It wasn’t that long of a walk, and yet for some reason, which I cannot say, I was enraptured by the sights of the town. I must have looked like a wide mouthed crazy person, looking with big eyes at everything that I could. “So tell me,” she said to me as we walked. “What’s it like being a human?” I don’t know about anyone else, that is if I had a better grasp of my thoughts, and memory I’d probably know, but I didn’t really ever just sit down and think to myself about how awesome or terrible it was being a human. I hadn’t done so in the past day or two that I had been here, and I can’t really see that as something that I would have done before. “I guess it’s kind of cool,” I told her, not really sure if that was the answer that she was looking for or not, but it was the best I had to offer never the less. “What’s it like being a pony?” “Well, it okay, but sometimes being a pony can be a little boring.” She looked a little sad at the thought, and shrugged a little. “It’s the same thing every day, and truth be told, it’s more fun to imagine being something else.” “Well, I’m sure I’d enjoy being a human more if I understood what it meant. Right now, I’m just some guy with no idea about anything.” I figured if I was going to use my disability, I’d best use it to a good end. “Seems to me, we should be thankful for what we are.” “Yeah, you’re probably right.” ~ ~ ~ Looking back on it, it was rather odd that I didn’t have more of the local ponies going bonkers about my being a non-pony. They were pretty accepting of me, and the fact that I looked nothing like them; I talked, and walked, and walked on two legs I might add, and they didn’t come running out with pitchforks and torches to drive me out of town. Hmm, now I wonder why pitchforks and torches are the preferred method? I should have considered myself more lucky, even though I do so now, it would have at least calmed me some, as me and Twilight made our way to the garment shop, and were asked to step in. Twilight’s friend Rarity was a riot. Never in all my life, or at least the last two days that I could firmly remember of it anyway, had I met with someone, or pony, that was more eccentric, and worrisome over her sense of fashion, or that of anyone else. It was as if she had spent her every waking hour fretting over the smallest detail of fabric and garments. I found her to be hilarious. “I see, I see,” she says to us, as I’m standing in front a tall mirror, letting her rub her hooves all over my clothes. “And you want me to mend them?” “That was the idea,” Twilight said to her, as she reclined back on a small ornamental sofa, tapping her tail and keenly observing the human/pony interaction. “I can pay for the work, if you’re worried about him having money.” “I wouldn’t dream of treating this poor unfortunate creature in such a manner,” she said cutting Twilight a glaring look. “You just need to have your big sister Rarity fix you up. Isn’t that right?” She grabbed my face in her hooves and rubbed my cheeks affectionately, as she made a faux-sympathetic expression. I suddenly imagined that I was a little baby, and helpless, and she was somehow my self-appointed caretaker. Though, I had to wonder how that was going to make Ditzy feel, since she was filling that role rather nicely, and we seemed to get along. “I’m fine with whatever,” I said, as Rarity began to pull on my clothes. “Nonsense.” She was frowning as she pulled the shirt open in the front. “I consider it a learning experience, as well as a challenge to broaden my horizons. Now get out of these clothes, so that I can make some sewing patterns to work with.” I wasn’t sure why at the time, but suddenly getting naked was a little embarrassing. Not that I was ashamed out-right, but that it felt wrong somehow to just stand around naked in front of ponies of the opposite sex. “Wait, wait,” I croaked out, shoving at her hooves. “Isn’t there some kind of changing room I can use?” Changing room, was just one more name for something that I knew, but had no idea how I knew of it. Eventually, I hoped that my memory would come back completely, and if my brain really was mending, then maybe that would happen sooner rather than later. And then I figured that Ditzy and I could have real conversations about the things I liked. “There is a changing room, if you insist on using it.” Rarity looked a little off-put by having to wait, as I could see her all but salivating over the idea of diving into what made my wardrobe tick. Two hours later, I found myself standing in front of the tall mirror once again, only this time wearing a thin short sleeved shirt, pastel blue, and wool trousers, that were actually pretty comfortable. The trousers were light tan, and were of a color to match the shirt. As for my other clothes, the black t-shirt, and black slacks, were donated to Rarity for further study, and in the event that more of my kind happened to wander into Ponyville from the waterfront. “I wish I could say if they looked good or bad.” I didn’t think I looked bad, as I adjusted the new collar on the shirt and pulled it close together, instinctively unbuttoning the top, and letting it hang open. “But I think I look good in them.” Rarity seemed to beam inwardly and outwardly at the compliment, as she clapped her hooves together, and rushed to give me a huge hug around my waist. ~ ~ ~ The hospital experience was as I figured it would be. When we got there, Nurse Redheart was waiting for us, and quickly voiced some concern at our tardiness before we proceeding to be lead to an examination room in the back of the facility. Two days of brain damage, and lost and fragmented memories were all I had to use as tools, when she sat me down in a chair, and proceeded to hand me things that were my personal effects. Why these weren’t given to me when I left was a question I never asked, but if I had to guess, I’d say they were being cautious; since most everything about me was unknown, as were the things I had with me. “Does this thing look familiar to you?” I frowned as hard as I could, and try as I might, I had no clue what the flat squareish device was she laid down in front of me was. It seemed to be made of some hard black material, with a small plate of glass in the center on one side. There was one small button of some sort at the top, but other than that it was a complete mystery. I picked it up delicately, and pressed the button, but nothing happened. “I guess it doesn’t work, what ever it is. And, to answer your question; it doesn’t look at all familiar to me.” Eventually, Item after item were placed in front of me. Some seemed as if they should be familiar, but every single one of them was a complete enigma. “There are two item left in the box,” said Nurse Redheart, just as the door to the examination room opened, and Ditzy entered wearing a smile, which got broader as soon as her eyes saw me sitting there. Nurse Redheart nodded to her, but I doubt she noticed. Rushing up to me, Ditzy patted me on the shoulder affectionately. “Hi’ya Bjorn!” “Hi, Ditzy,” I said, as Nurse Redheart brought out one of the last two items. Ditzy took a quick glance at the table, and regarded the five items on there, tossing her head from side to side as she looked them over. “What about this one?” Nurse Redheart asked, as she placed a heavy, oddly shaped metal device on the table in front of me. It was black metal, and looked like a large version of the letter L. On the short end of the device, was what looked like a place for someone to hold it, and I cupped my palm around it, and brought it up from the table. Security’s been breached! Shaking my head, I realized that I was holding the device straight at Nurse Redheart, and I had taken my left hand and held the bottom of the metal object, to keep it steady. “Get to the landing platform.” “What was that?” Looking up at Nurse Redheart, I shook my head again, and had the strong feeling that I needed to do something with what was in my hand, and as if moving of their own will power, my hands slid along the letter shaped item, and had removed it into two smaller pieces, producing a small concealed slide in box of shiny brass tubes, and had laid them in two pieces on the table. Realizing what I had done, I jumped from the chair, and stepped back away from the table. “What was that you just said,” Nurse Redheart pressed. “I don’t know,” I told her. “Something that someone said to me. I think.” Reaching down, and scooping up the two pieces of the metal object, I placed them back in the box, and reached in to retrieve the last item. A very small thin folded cloth-like item, held together by a small strap. Ditzy was watching me curiously, as was Twilight, though I suspect more at the curiosity at the items they had never before seen. This seemed familiar, but I wasn’t sure what it was used for exactly, and again, relying on instinct, I pulled the strap back and unfolded the item, to be met with a picture of my face. “This is my wallet.” I slid the picture ID out, and held it up, but I had no clue what the words meant, even though I could read them, they had no value as words for me. Just the letters. G-I-L-M-O-R-E-R-O-G-E-R “This is me,” I said, turning the photo ID over in my hands. “This is my wallet, and my identification.” God, I suddenly had a massive headache. Turning the picture around, I showed Ditzy first, then Twilight. “What are those symbols under the picture?” Twilight asked. “I think it’s my name, but I can’t remember what the letters mean.” It’s hard, being so close to answers, and not being able to fully realize them. To have the secret right at one’s fingertips, and being unable to grab it. “I need to go,” I said, suddenly getting up from the chair, and making for the door. “I need to get some air.” ~ ~ ~ Later that afternoon, I was resting on Ditzy’s couch in her living room, when she came in with some tea, and sat it on a small end table. She had been quiet since i came back from the hospital. I knew she was just trying to be accommodating as best she could, and I appreciated her efforts. But I didn’t want to be such a burden to her. Security’s been breached. What did that mean? Why would it have been breached? Where was I at, that something like that could have happened? “Are you okay?” I looked up to meet Ditzy’s honey golden eyes, and nodded silently. Not satisfied with the answer, Ditzy scooted up next to me on the couch, and laid against me. I wasn’t sure, but I felt it was right that I rest my arm across her back and shoulders, and I felt very warm, and comforted. “I’m happy I found you Bjorn,” she said, laying her head against my chest. “You give me something to look forward to.” Get to the landing platform. I was getting closer, I knew it. But I was worried, that the closer I got, the more I learned, that the more upsetting it may be. As I sat there, with Ditzy next to me, I had a fleeting thought. A thought that maybe, I didn’t need to know anything. I was comfortable, relaxed, and somewhat at peace. There was no guarantee that once I got my memory back things would be better, or that I would be as happy as I was at that moment. Bringing my hand up to rub her neck, I told her, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” Yes, that wasn’t so bad. If I had to, I could make all new memories. I would be fine with that.
Chapter 4“Happiness is, a warm muffin.” Ditzy Doo After resting up for a bit on Ditzy’s couch, she and I thought it would be a good idea to grab something to eat, and since I had managed to forget to eat at all, to which I earned a strongly worded lecture from Ditzy on eating properly, I jumped at the idea of going into town to find a meal. “You know, I’ve been thinking,” she said as we walked from her house. “I hope it wasn’t about anything bad,” I told her. “Of course, it wasn’t about bad things.” She slapped at my leg playfully with her wing, and grinned. “I was thinking that maybe we could try a few things to get your memory back.” Here it comes. I hadn’t quite decided to tell her that I was beginning to chicken out about getting my memory back, and I was sure she would have been upset if I had mentioned this to her, so I kept it to myself. So instead of telling her I was a big fat coward, and took the liars path. “What kind of things?” “I was thinking, maybe we could try scaring you, like how when a pony gets the hiccups and you give them a good scare, and the hiccups go away; well maybe that could work for you.” She was looking at me very serious, and I know she wasn’t expecting it, but I burst out laughing as hard as I could. “You don’t think it’s a good idea do you?” she said, looking embarrassed by the idea suddenly. “I knew it was a stupid idea.” “It’s not that,” I told her, reaching over and patting her on the shoulder. “It’s just that I have absolutely no idea about hiccups, and for some reason, the word hiccup sounded hilarious. And that whatever it is, it requires someone to scare them to make them go away. I was still giggling a little, and when Ditzy realized that I wasn’t mocking her idea, she found my take on the description as equally funny, and began to smile, then laugh, covering her mouth with the back of her hoof. Suddenly, I stopped walking and took my hand and reached over and pulled her hoof away from her mouth. I can’t really say why I did it, but that it bothered me. “Why do you do that?” I said, shocking her with the act. “You shouldn’t hide your smile.” Looking at me with confusion, and a number of emotions that I couldn’t name at the time, she regarded me like I was new to her world, and didn’t understand some deep meaningful truth about her. “But, I look stupid when I laugh like that,” she said, blinking a few times, waiting for me to grasp the truth that she had just laid out for me. I couldn’t help but feel my heart breaking at the idea, surely she didn’t think that she was stupid when she laughed, it was cruel thinking, it was horrible, and I dropped to my knees, and wrapped my arms around her. “Why would you think that?” “Everyone knows it,” she said. “Well, I don’t know it. I don’t think you look stupid, I think your smile is amazing.” I was squeezing her tightly. “I think you look beautiful when you smile.” “Do... do you really mean it?” she asked, bringing her hooves up and wrapping them around me. “Do you really think I’m beautiful?” “I think you are an angel.” All at once, Ditzy jumped up and down, and squealed as loud as she could, throwing herself against me, and knocking me to the ground backward, and began to kiss me on my face. “Oh, thank you, thank you Bjorn, I love you!” Instantly aware of what she did, Ditzy got a horrified look on her face, and slowly removed herself from over me, and looked down at the ground. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but I know what I heard, and she knew what she said. Did it bother me, that she said it? Not in the least. The truth was, I was very fond of Ditzy, I enjoyed the sound of her voice, and I enjoyed being around her. Her silliness was a breath of fresh air, in the cobweb collecting mush of my brain, and I wanted her to be happy. Maybe I didn’t know a lot of things, and maybe it was a little too soon for words like love and beautiful. But I was a man on borrowed time. I felt it, and I could also feel the haze in my head lifting every moment. Things were becoming clearer, and clearer. Say something dammit. I was kicking myself in the ass, but all I could do was lay on my back, and look up at her. She hadn’t moved in all the time I had been mulling over my thoughts, and I could see that there were tears in her eyes. “Hey, are you alright?” I asked her, reaching a hand out to her. “Bjorn,” she said, looking at me, small streams of tears trailing from the corners of her eyes, and down her face. “I love you.” Before my hand could touch her, she went tense, and sprang forward leaping past me, and running away as fast as she could. “Aww shit!” I yelled, as I jumped from the ground. I knew good and well that I shouldn’t have waited so long before I responded, and it served me right. She probably thought I was revolted or something by the idea. Running after her as fast as I could, I had no idea where I was going or where she had gone. For all I knew, she flew off and was halfway to Abu Dhabi, though I wasn’t exactly sure where that was; and for some reason, I had a mental image of a fat orange cat endlessly attempting to mail another cat there. As I ran, the strangest sensation came over me, and it seemed that I had only recently did something similar, and while I focused on it, I heard voices shouting, and sounds of loud booming noises. When I looked down, I was wearing the same clothes that I had when I was pulled from the water, and I was holding the black metal object. It was called a gun, and I held it out, as I rushed up a set of metal steps. ”Security’s been breached!” There was a face in front of me, and he was speaking in another language, but I understood him clearly. What was I said again, as I rushed past him? This place is going to hell, we have to abort! Abort what? More noise, and I was facing a group of armed men, shouting at me, and one of them brought their gun up at me. . . When I finally stopped running, I was standing in the middle of town, by a large water fountain. My head was clear, and my breathing was heavy, though not as much as it should have been. What ever life I lead before, I was definitely in good physical shape. Sitting on the other side of the fountain, sniffling, was Ditzy. She was struggling to look at her reflection in the water, and I rushed up to her. “There you are,” I said, as I sat down next to her. “You sure can move fast.” Ditzy didn’t look up at me. Her body language was quite clear that she was in turmoil, and I felt a pang of sadness at the thought that I was somehow responsible for it. Reaching my hand over and touching her on her hoof, I leaned over to her. “Ditzy, I want to tell you something.” She didn’t move, she kept staring at the water, and continued to sniff. “You don’t like me.” “Of course I like you, what sort of thing is that to say?” I scooted closer to her, and brought her hoof up to my face, and pressed it against my cheek. It was warm and soft, like fine cotton, and velvet. “Ditzy, you are beautiful, and funny, and very important to me. But I’m messed up right now.” I gave my head a few raps with my knuckles. “I know the words, but I don’t understand what they mean. But if wanting you to be near me, and wanting to be near you, and liking you, and thinking you’re beautiful and an angel that saved me, and lights up the darkest corners of the world; well, if that means love, then I do, I love you.” Her hoof smelled like flowers, and I pressed it to my lips. “But I want to be sure, I want to understand the words, I’m close, I know I am, and having you with me helps me so much, you don’t realize.” Slowly looking up at me, Ditzy’s eyes were pools of emotion, tears, and moonlight reflection. “Oh, Bjorn, no pony has ever said those things to me!” She hugged me fiercely, and cried in joy. “I just knew the moment I found you, that you were special; a gift, sent to me from the heavens!” Pulling her up from my embrace, I looked in her eyes. Those golden honey pools of misdirected amazement, and she leaned in and kissed me on my lips. I felt warmth spread through me all the way to my spine, and I brought my hand back behind her head, and stroked her mane, as she lingered there for just a moment. Before either of us could speak, my stomach rumbled and growled. I gave her a frown, and suggested that we get that meal before I attempted to eat my own leg. That night, Ditzy slept in the bed curled against me. It was strange, but after only a few days, I felt as if I had known her for years. We were old and withered, and happy with each other’s presence, happy with the same company, and the same looks, the same touch. As I laid there, I reflected on the memory I had uncovered from when I was running after her. I had more reservations about learning too much, but now, something told me that if I didn’t, then whatever hopes I had of any sort of relationship with my beautiful gray mare, was going to be greatly hindered by a lack of knowing myself. Stroking her mane, I fell asleep listening to her soft snoring, and breathing noises. A sound that I would grow to love over the course of the next few months. ~ ~ ~ The next several days, I showed great improvement. My ability to recall more and more basic knowledge was improving, though anything about myself, and events were still a complete blank canvas. No longer was I at a loss for what things were, or how they operated, I could recall general information, and information relative to a task, but everything about myself, where I came from, and what sort of things I did were steeped in such a shroud of confusion and mystery, that I often wondered if there were a way to retrieve them from my pad-locked brain. Of course, this is where Twilight Sparkle came in. The resident scientist, geek, and all-around nerd of the town; she had ideas about helping me to get my memory back, and since the incident with my temporary memory several nights back, I was all too eager to be her experimental guinea pig. The first of several experiments involved sitting me in a chair, and strapping me down, with Twilight cranking up a electronic machine that was designed to stimulate brain waves by injecting them with very small currents of electricity. It seemed like the right thing at the time. “Is every-pony ready?” she said with a big grin of excitement on her face. I could tell she was in her element, and yet there was something strangely troubling about the fact, that I was about to get electricity fed directly into my brain. “Uh, are we really sure about this?” I tried to give her the best worried expression I could manage, but unfortunately for me, Twilight was in full fledged discovery mode, and simply brought a pair of goggles down over her eyes. “Here we go!” Flipping the switch, I can only imagine the light show she must have received, but from where I was sitting, it wasn’t just a mild jolt. In fact, the force of the electrical current ripped me from the chair, and threw me back against the wall, where I collapsed with a groan, and smoking fingernails. I opened my mouth to say something, but only gurgles came out at first, followed by a string of insults in Russian, then French, and finally I started going on about sailing, someplace called the Andes, and tropical fish. “Well that was a bust,” she said, coming over and helping me up. “I thought for sure, that a jolt of that kind would be just what you needed.” It was a good thing that Ditzy wasn’t here for this, she’d be pissed, and whenever she got pissed, I started laughing, because her expression when angry was hilarious, which only made her more angry. “Maybe we should try something that doesn’t involve me getting capital punishment,” I said. It was the start of a long week, and by the time it was over, I experienced; being subjected to freezing conditions; closed in a room, and frosted with magical ice abilities; subjected to heat, while cooked in a steam-room with not one but three fires; waterboarded by Big Macintosh, in an experiment designed to recreate the conditions of the environment I was in, at the time of my amnesia, and then lastly, scared out of my wits by Ditzy, while on the toilet, to see if her hiccup theory would jog my memory. All in all, it was productive. I learned that when motivated in just the right way, ponies in Ponyville were relentless in their pursuits, and if one were the object of that pursuit, then God have mercy on their soul.
Chapter 5If at first you don't succeed, then sleep on it. Ditzy Doo It was harder to sleep that night than I imagined, and rather than lay there disrupting Ditzy's sleep, I figured it would be best to head into the living room, and indulge the insomnia. Three AM found me sitting on her couch, and worrying the picture ID from my wallet that was found on me in the water. After the weeks spent on getting my memory back, I realized two things. The first was that I was fluent in many languages. The second: I was positive that the letters in Russian on the ID tag spelling out the name Roger Gilmore was not my real name. No matter how much I wanted it to be. Call it intuition, or latent memory, I was sure that I was not this person. Even with no firm solid basis of knowledge of who I truly was; the gun, the Identification, the boot scabbard, and the pieces of the radio headset, all were merely indicators that I was something else. Perhaps dangerous; and the thought of it scared me more than anything. “Can't sleep?” I looked up to catch sight of Ditzy standing in the doorway of the living room. She was wearing a white sleeping shirt which held her wings down close to her side, and she groggily rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hoof. “Not really,” I told her, covering the name tag with my hands. “Was I snoring again?” She took a few steps into the room, and looked around. “No, you were fine.” Walking over, she sat with me on the couch, and noticed the card in my hands. She eyed it for a moment, and then looked up at me. “We will get your memory back, you know.” “Ditzy, what if when I do, I learn things about myself that I don't like?” “Like what?” she said, resting against me, and putting her hoof across my chest. “What if I find out that I'm a bad person, who did bad things, maybe even hurt others?” I set the ID card on her coffee table, and reach back up to stroke her arm. “Do you want to hurt me?” My heart broke for just a second or two. I could feel the lump welling in my throat. But before I could answer, she looked at me with a frown on her face. “I don’t think you do, and I don’t think you will.” It had been a long night of thinking, and insomnia, and for some reason the thought of harming Ditzy broke the dam of emotions I was holding in. I threw myself around her and sobbed into her neck, emotions that I knew I had, and some I didn’t know where there, were suddenly at the surface. She was a good sport about it, wearing a snotty and tear stained shirt back to bed, she pushed me ahead of her, and didn’t stop until I was face down on the mattress. Climbing in the bed after me, she pushed me over, and laid next to me patting me with her hoof. “I’m probably a pretty sorry excuse for a human, huh?” Smiling at me, Ditzy just shook her head. “I’m a pretty sorry excuse for a pegasus, so I have you beat.” I couldn’t help but laugh at her. “I don’t think you’re a sorry excuse for anything, you saved my life, I’ve done nothing.” “And I don’t think you’re a sorry excuse. And you have done something: you make me happy.” In the near two months that I had been staying with her, Ditzy and I had done nothing more than kiss occasionally, but for the first time, I felt a burning passion for her in that moment; the likes of which I can’t explain. I knew I needed to feel her against me, and her mouth on mine. I wanted to be as close to her as I possibly could, in both mind and body, and I gently scooted closer to her and wrapped her in an embrace. What we did next, well... it was long overdue, and was the closest thing to pure magic as two lovers could make. ~ ~ ~ The next day came as a rush of frenetic excitement, and enthusiasm as I had been invited, finally, to have an audience with the ruler of Equestria, the much talked about, and rarely seen; Princess Celestia. From what I was told, she was a benevolent ruler, and procrastinator, that often gifted her royal duties to her subjects; because she’d spent too much time doing who knew the hell what, when she should be handling mishaps in the kingdom. Nevertheless, with a packed lunch from Ditzy, and an accompanying Twilight Sparkle—grinning like a buffoon from princess hero worship—I was placed on the express to Canterlot. Mostly out of curiosity about the human occupying a semi-permanent residence at Ponyville, but also, because I was wanting to finally get some part-time work, and as an alien resident, it could only be granted from the mayor, or the ruling monarchy. Having her concerns about taking that responsibility upon herself, the mayor chose to defer to the Princess’s judgement on the matter, and a few days later I found myself sitting between an elderly pony, and Twilight Sparkle; grinning and rambling on and on about all the things that she and her friends had done on behalf of their slacker ruler. Since my memory had returned a great deal, I had the strong knowing that I had been on a train before, but the reasons were still locked memories beyond my reach. The hows and the whys were unimportant in the broad scheme of things, but at the least, they were memories I knew I owned. The train ride was mostly uneventful, unless one were to count the endless ramblings of Twilight about all the great things Princess Celestia is, and how great of a ruler she is, and all that she had done for Ponyville and Equestria. Though after twenty minutes of her going on, I drifted to sleep, and I can only assume she quieted down. Waking up abruptly when the train pulled into Canterlot, I was awakened to the sight of Twilight reading a book, and look rather on edge. Though I had to assume it was about her meeting with the Princess, and how exactly my interaction was going to proceed. There were a lot of strange looks, and I had no choice but to take them in stride. After all, this wasn’t Ponyville; it was Canterlot, and above all else, the entire city reeked of high class, high brow snootiness. “Now, there’s nothing to be worried about,” Twilight told me as we made our way from the station. “Princess Celestia is a wonderful host, and wouldn’t harm a fly.” I gave her a smile to show that I understood, but I wasn’t in this for the warm reception. I was doing this because I wanted something, and people that wanted something were either going to cower under the pressure, or rise to the challenge, and face the requirement head on. And there was always a requirement. ~ ~ ~ When we finally made it into the palace, or castle, or whatever the hell it was, there was a bustle of ponies, and guards, and surprisingly we were taken straight to the Princess. She was seated at the end of a long and ornate room, sort of up on this podium area, but there was no throne, or chair, just the floor. I have to admit, she was not at all what I was expecting to see. Now exactly what I was expecting to see, was something like a holy light shining and radiating off her body, with maybe a crown, and some angels floating in the air beside her. But then that image may have been partly inspired by Twilight’s idea about what the Princess should be. “I’m so glad you could make it Twilight Sparkle.” The Princess was smiling when she said this, so I had to guess that it meant she wasn’t pissed at the imposition of the meeting; which meant that I could probably live enough to have my request heard. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight wasted no time rushing the Princess and giving her a generous bow, and then proceeded to plow into her with a million details about both the trip, the letters that she had sent, and oh yeah, somewhere in there was a mention of me. After what seemed like an hour of Twilight talking on and on, the Princess finally turned her attention to me, and began to ask me some various questions. Of course one of them was not what I was expecting, in the least. “Well, Bjorn; I understand that your accident has left you with a terrible loss of your memory.” “Uh, yes ma’am... I mean, yes your Highness.” I wasn’t very well versed on how to deal with royalty, but I fIgured she wasn’t the sort to have me taken out behind the palace and shot for a few mistakes in proper etiquette. “It’s alright,” she said. “You don’t have to be so long on ceremony around here.” Her smiles seemed really genuine, and I was instantly placed at ease. “I’m sure, that Twilight has mentioned me quite a bit, and I have to tell you, that I am making great progress in getting my memory back... though.” “Though?” “Though, I’m a bit worried, that when I do get my memory back, I won’t really care for what I find out about myself.” There, I told her. I had doubts about myself, and now she could pass judgement, or lay down whatever divine smack-down she wanted. “Have you ever considered the possibility that I could restore your memory?” she asked. It was one of those moments in history that I doubt I’ll forget. One of those moments, where a decade from now, someone would ask me; where I was when I’d heard the news that I could have my memory back, and what exactly did Twilight Sparkles face look like. “Honestly, that never crossed my mind.” “This is great!” Twilight said, barely able to contain her excitement. “This is better than we could have imagined possible.” I had to admit, that I was beyond surprised, but there was something that was keeping me from just diving right in, and relishing in this sudden turn of fantastic fortune. “Something is wrong, isn’t it?” Celestia asked me, noticing the look of hesitancy. “I’m not ready.” “How can you not be ready, Bjorn?” Twilight came rushing up, she looked defeated, as if it were her own idea I was shooting down out of the sky. “Aren’t you the least bit interested in getting your memory back? We can do this right here and now.” “I know, and while I appreciate the offer, your Highness, I’m not ready to have it handed to me on silver platter just yet.” Taking a moment, to consider what I was getting at, Celestia finally nodded her head. “I completely understand what you are saying. Time is the greatest healer of wounds, both in the heart and in the mind. When you are ready, and if of course, if your memory has failed to come back, then you can come to me at any time.” “Thank you,” I said, exhaling, and nodding. “I’m grateful for the offer.” Twilight looked as if I had taken her recent science project and smashed it on the floor, and then gotten a “A” for effort at wrecking her work. I did sort of feel sorry for her, but at the moment, this wasn’t about her; it was about me, and there was still one more piece of business that needed addressing. “Your Highness, there is something else.” Celestia raised an eyebrow, and nodded. “Of course, if there is anything I can do to make your stay more hospitable, let me know.” “Well, as you may or may not be aware, I have been staying with a mail-pony named Ditzy Doo, and while she and I have grown quite close over these past few months, I feel as if my status as guest has reached its limit.” I stood as tall as I could for this next part. “I’m not sure how long I will be here, and to be honest, I’m not sure if my leaving is something I may want to consider for a long time; and since I plan on being here, both as a resident of Ponyville, and a member of Ditsy’s household, I feel that I should be able to contribute... like maybe a job.” For a second or two, Celestia just looked at me, and smiled, as if in thought. "Granted." It was like a two-for day for shocks and surprises. Once again, both Twilight and myself were standing in excited amazement with out mouths open. "Just like that?" "Just like that." Celestia, came over and placed a hoof on my shoulder, gazing at me deeply in the eyes. "I feel great good in you Bjorn, and should you come to realize it, you will become an asset to this kingdom, both to the ponies, and especially the one you have great feelings for." I wanted to suddenly burst into tears, but then a fleeting reminiscence of manliness emerged, and I just thanked her as much as I could. This was going to be fantastic. Now that I had the blessing from the Princess, I could find work, and finally contribute to Ditzy's house. I wanted to be an active member of her family, and there was only way to do that. "Thank you again, Princess," I said, giving a brief bow. "Remember, Bjorn, you are more than you can know, and when the day comes, you will be tried, and tested. But the strength is within you, and you alone."
Chapter 6You can move in the dark, but you still need a light. ~ Ditzy Doo I was in really good spirits when Twilight and me got back to Ponyville. She had wanted to stay longer with the Princess, but I couldn't let her, I had to get back and start making my on mark on the world. This was going to be great, and I figured now that I could help out Ditzy, this was going to be the peak of a fantastic day. I was all giddy and excited when she came in from her shift, and I all but tackled her at the door, and planted a dozen kisses on her before she could wiggle out of my grasp. "Wow! You sure are in a good mood Bjorn. I guess that means your trip to Canterlot went well." "It was better than that," I said, pulling her to me, and setting her on her couch with me. "I've got wonderful news. The princess has granted me permission to get employment here." There was a funny look on Ditzy's face for a moment, as she contemplated exactly what that meant, and then her eyes sprung open suddenly. "That means you can get a job in Ponyville!" I laughed and tossed my head back. Ditzy kissed me on my neck and cheeks. Her nose was slightly cold, and it tickled my neck, causing me to fall back on the couch. "Alright! I surrender!" I said, continuing to laugh, as she pounced on me in play domination. When Ditzy was satisfied with my submission, and she had given me a few kisses for good measure, I Sat up, and wiped away some slobber from the corner of my lips. Ditzy just laughed at me, as I swiped at her with the moist hand. "There was something else, I found out while I was at Canterlot," I told her. "What's that?" “Well,” I said, sliding her off of me and sitting up, “she said that she could give me my memories back.” “Really?” Ditzy said, getting excited, and bouncing on the couch. “That's great! So what did you say?” “I told her no.” Ditzy had a confused look on her face, as her smile faded. Yeah, it's true, I felt like a grade-A asshole right then. I hated seeing her look disappointed. More than anything, I hated feeling like I was being difficult, especially considering all that the ponies in town had done for me, and then here I go and make waves in the flow of their lifestyle. “I know you have doubts, Bjorn, but if Princess Celestia can give you back your memory, then maybe that's something you should consider.” “I thought I was ready to learn everything; but I'm not,” I said, making every attempt to sound as assured of my decision as I could. “Listen, Ditzy, I want to be with you, and as long as I have the past looming over me, I don't think I can ever make new memories, or make a new life. I don't want to know what sort of person I was, and I don't want to remember my life before. I just want to start over... with you.” “Okay,” she finally said, understanding what I was meaning. She looked relieved, and strangely happy. “So, where do you think you might want to get a job?” I had to chuckle a little, because it was going to sound stupid, but, “I was thinking I might try getting a job at the post office, that way we could see each other every day.” Instantly her eyes went wide with excitement. “Oh Bjorn! That would be amazing! You should really do that! I'd love to have you work with me!” More hugs and kisses ensued. Obviously it was the right choice, seeing as how it was clearly Ditzy approved. Wiping away more of the Ditzy slobber, I took her by the shoulders. “There's just one thing I want to do. If I'm ever going to put the past behind me, I want to have some closure on the old life.” “What is it?” “I want to see where you found me in the water.” ~ ~ ~ It was nearing late evening when Ditzy and I reached the large lake, where she found me. At first, I had a hard time believing that I was found here. There was nothing that could account for it. How I had gotten from my world to a large lake near Ponyville was almost more than I could fathom. The lake was surrounded on one side by a small group of trees, and so Ditzy and I walked toward them. “I wasn't far from here,” she said, as she trotted along beside me. “I was making up a few last minute deliveries, and I saw a bright light, and heard a huge rumble.” A bright light huh? So, whatever it was that sent me here was a bright light, and something that made a large rumble. “When I got here to see what it was, I saw you floating in the water just up ahead.” She pointed toward the trees, and when I followed her hoof, I noticed a light coming from the wood line next to the lake. “Huh. You don't say.” “That's funny, there's some light coming from up there,” Ditzy said. We had walked long enough that it had already gotten dark on us, and this faint light from up ahead had me on edge something terrible. Like a million pin-points of light suddenly turning on all at once, I was bombarded with isolated memories. Things that had happened, things I had done, and things I had seen; all surging and assaulting my brain with the force of a meteor. But the most shocking thing, was what I said when I turned to Ditzy. "Keep low, and stay here. I'm gonna go check this out." My forehead felt tight, and I realized I was frowning hard; focused and determined. Ditzy did as I said, and hunkered down in the bushes, as I crouched along, taking in the light as I got closer and closer. It was as if, every step toward that light opened up newer memories, and locked memories, and things that I had spent the past few days convincing myself that I never wanted to know. And yet, here I was heading straight into them. For all purposes, I should have been terrified, but my heart was beating normal, and my pulse was not racing. I knew the reason of course, was because I had done this sort of things a hundred times. Call it irony, fate, or some twisted sense of cosmic humor, but as I neared the clearing where the light was, I found there was more I had in common with the fictitious Mason Bjorn, than I ever knew possible. The clearing was less than two dozen yards away, and I could make out movement, in the darkness. Three people were moving among the light, which looked like a fire from a camp. I was just about to continue moving towards them when I heard the movement behind me. Someone had been out on patrol. I waited for the sentry to announce his arrival, and true to experience, he didn't fail me. "Alright, hands up, and get to your feet." It wasn't a loud command, but it was stern, and most certainly, Russian. Rising slowly to my feet, I felt the barrel of the weapon press into my back, and I used my upward momentum to turn and swiftly bring my upper body around, catching the guard at the forearm, and using my right hand to upper-cut him in the chin, all in two movements, leaving me standing there with his gun, and a freshly unconscious sentinel at my feet. Looking back to make sure, that the encounter wasn't noticed, I watched to see if more would emerge. When they didn't I drug the guard deeper into the forest, and gagged him with the sleeve from his arm, and tied his hands to a small tree behind him with his belt. It wasn't the perfect thing, but it would serve my purpose. The guard's nine millimeter hand gun had a tactical light on the end, and I used it give me illumination as I searched his pockets, and trousers. In his front pocket was a folded canvas wallet, identical to mine, and when I slipped it open, I saw the same type of ID card I had, complete with the words феникс yслуги (Phoenix Services), in the top left corner. There it was. That moment I swore to myself I didn't want. The moment in my current life where I learned that I was a villain. And with that revelation, everything about my past was suddenly unlocked. One big flash of light, and the crack opened the floodgates of memory. Phoenix Services was a crooked international security firm for hire, and worked primarily in Central Europe and some in the former Soviet Union. What set the security agents apart from other trained special enforcers, were that these guys were usually ex-military, spec-ops and USA intelligence agents that fled with secrets to the other side of the line that could always pay better. In my case, the pay wasn't just good, it was phenomenal. A Siberian research company had converted an off-shore oil rig in the Kara Sea to a science lab, and Phoenix Services had been hired to head up the company's security. Everything was hush-hush; all part of some project designed to create artificial singularities, and gravity wells. But then, something went wrong, and the whole thing ignited like a tender-box One minute I'm standing near the generator housing, walking perimeter, and the next armed operatives are infiltrating the rig, with their detonation devices going off, which happened to rupture the cooling tanks on the power generators, sending everyone in a panic. I could clearly remember rushing up the service corridors to the top, when I was confronted by Gamma Team, and they were shouting, "Security's been breached!" "Get to the landing platform! We have to evacuate now!" I rounded the last landing before the final flight to the top, when a shot was taken at me, ricocheting off the metal walls. I was in a low crouch, and pulled my boot knife, and tossed it at the assailant, burying the blade in his shoulder. There wasn't time to screw around, I had to get off the rig; somehow I knew it was minutes from complete detonation, but instead of exploding, there was a huge rush of wind, light, and then a reverse feeling, as if the world were pulling me back as hard as it could. The landing platform was my final destination. I was heading for the nearest helicopter, but a huge beam of light literally cut through the floors of the rig, out to the open sky, sucking me, the railing, the floor, the debris and anything within a two hundred meter diameter with it. Pitch black, and cold rushing water later, I was being pulled from the lake here by Ditzy. These men were from the rig, they were from Phoenix, and while I was one of them, I knew better than to just walk up on them. They were too hard core to care about shooting first or second to the questions. Turning back to the camp site, I crouched and moved further in, until I was close enough to get a better idea of what was there. Seven men were there. Clearly they had arrived only a few days ago, and were unaware of the fact that they were less than a mile from Ponyville. Their spot being one of the more secluded, which was a good thing. The last thing I needed was Phoenix security goons running havoc through the town. Moving further in, I heard them talking, some in Slavic, but mostly, Russian dialect. "I'm going after him. That bastard, Sven; he knows better than to turn his headset off." One closest to the fire was shaking his head, and rose. "I've already sent Jovan to find him. We should wait, Provich doesn't want us contaminating the place any more than we already have." Oh shit. This was bad, if they find Sven tied to the tree, they'll know that someone is out here, and worse... Ditzy wasn't far from where Sven was tied. I had to get back to her, and get her back to Ponyville. Inching back, I started moving away from the camp, when I heard clearly a laugh, and then, "That's the strangest fucking thing I've ever seen!" Turning back to the camp, I saw to my bewilderment, Ditzy being dragged into camp by who could only have been, Jovan. "Found this thing wandering around the dark," he said, as he examined her. Ditzy was wrapped in a net, and bound with rope. She was terrified, and I was instantly on my feet moving directly for them. "You were told, not to interfere with things here!" one of them said to Jovan. "Provich is going to have our ass for this!" "What's he going to do? Hurt me with cash?" Jovan let out a guttural laugh, just as I walked up behind him, with the gun at his head. "он является менее ваши заботы (He's the least of your worries)," I told him, just as I squeezed the trigger.
