The Bjorn Identity

“If you live in the sky, then it’s always breezy.”

~ Ditzy Doo

Since I wasn't just tired but borderline crazy with exhaustion, I took the nurse's advice and rested. which turned out to be about twelve hours of sleep. And just when I thought my shock to the senses couldn't be more compounded, I had a visitor that set my world on end, yet again.

"I don't know how you could have mistaken him for a pony."

At the present, a purple pony was standing by my bed eying me from all angles. "You didn't find it strange that he doesn't have a muzzle, doesn't have hooves, and is missing a tail?"

All clearly good points, I might add. Too bad she wasn't here when they first took off my bandages, then I might not have lamented the loss of my fur, or my disfigured face.

"Well, of course we noticed, but given his cuts and burns, we had no reason to suspect he wasn’t the victim of some tragic accident." Nurse Redheart looked a little upset.

"Uh, hi." I waved a hand at the pony. "Twilight, was it? Yeah, thing is, if I'm not a horribly mangled pony, then what am I?"

"That's easy," she said invisibly lifting up a book for me to see. "You're a human."

Well I guess it made sense, even if it was a tad disappointing.

"What's a human?" I had almost forgot that Ditzy was in the room, she had come straight over after her job, and had waited for me to wake up. She looked tired.

"They are a being from the stars. Or at least it says so in my book."

Never thought of myself as a star dweller, but then as messed up as my thinking had been I could have been from a cave, and accepted that as a rational answer. This whole amnesia thing was beginning to be a pain in the ass.

"So then if I'm not mangled, does that mean I have to stay in the hospital?"

~   ~   ~

It took a lot of convincing on her end, but not long after, Ditzy managed to let the hospital release me into her care. Not that it really mattered to me, I just wanted out of that bed, and since she was the one who saved, me it was somewhat comfortable being around her. For some reason, as my head started to clear, things began to unnerve me, and the hospital was a huge flashing red warning light of stress.

Nurse Redheart still wanted to discuss the items found with me, but at Twilight's suggestion everyone there agreed that it could wait until the next day.

So, dressed back into the clothes they found me in, and catching a few odd looks from the locals, I followed Ditzy into her home. She said she was a pegasus pony, and had tried living in Cloudsdale, but that she preferred to stay closer to her work, so she lived in Ponyville, which was why it didn’t take us long to reach her house.

One thing I was grateful for, was that at least things were working better in my thoughts. Two plus two still equaled four, and being human seemed more correct for some reason, though I was a little disappointed at the thought of not being able to grow back some awesome colored fur.

"Home sweet home," she said, stretching her wings. Then looking over at me curiously, "I know I promised to take care of you, but I don't think I have any human food. Sorry."

At the thought of food my stomach growled. "I'll have whatever you're having."

"Are you sure, I wouldn't want you to get sick."

"If it's good enough for you, then it's good enough for me." Though I said that then, I did sort of grow to regret it later. Left over hay fries were not the ideal first meal for me after waking up from the hospital, but considering that I had gone from being a disfigured pony to an out of pocket human, at least fate was taking me somewhat in a forward motion.

It’s hard to describe something, when everything you know is gone. So exactly what hay fries tasted like would be impossible to explain. So basically, I guess they tasted like deep fried grass, twisted together in little thumb sized sticks, and dipped in sauce. Ditzy ate hers with something she called Dragonian Fire Splash, which sounded oddly interesting so I generously helped myself. Though after the burning sensation left my mouth, and I could speak again, she thought it best if I try mustard or ketchup.

After we finished eating, Ditzy took the plates and tossed them in the sink, and while she was moving around me in the kitchen, I watched her clean. I did offer to help, but she seemed annoyed at the idea.

When she backed up into me, and brushed her backside against my arm, is when I noticed she had some sort of spot on her, and being a kind person, I grabbed the closest towel, and proceeded to wipe it off. Little did I know that it was permanent, and that she was going to go rigid and nearly kick me as soon as I did it.

“That tickles,” she said, as soon as I stopped, realizing that I had done something I probably wasn’t supposed to. She turned to face me, and I could tell that she was beyond exhaustion. She looked like she was about to pass out at any moment. “You look sleepy,” she said.

I think it should be the other way around, I thought.

Showing me to her bedroom, she motioned for the bed, and said I could sleep there, that she would sleep on her couch. I watched her head out of the room, and made my way to the frilly bed, surrounded by wall scrolls of what I could only imagine were ponies fighting, or posing, or something. All of them said the same thing, Mason Bjorn, or Mason Bjorn Returns.

I was beginning to see why my name came so easily to her mind. She had a creepy obsession with this guy, Bjorn.

The bed was not as soft as it looked, and while there were enough pillows on it, it didn’t help much. Of course having slept for twelve hours, I was not all that sleepy, but figured with the injuries I’d sustained, and being in the water, I might as well try to take it easy.

On her bed was a giant muffin pillow, and I didn’t want to toss it on the floor, so I just scooted all of the pillows, and plushies to one side of the bed. Thinking better of sleeping in my clothes, I undressed, and crawled in, pulling the thick comforter up to my chin. The bedding smelled like something sweet, and warm, and it didn’t take long before I was out.

In the twelve hours that I was sleeping in the Ponyville hospital, I don't recall dreaming at all. But that night in Ditzy's bed, I found myself having vivid, and strange dreams. In them I was saying and doing things that I didn't understand, calling names to other humans, and running. Then at some point, there was water, and the floating sensation.

I woke with a start, and sat up in the bed, instantly regretting it, as it pulled the sore muscles and caused the cuts to instantly start stinging. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, and I had a million things flooding my mind. I needed to focus, to find some point of focus, and turn the surge of memory into something more refined.

"My name is Mason Bjorn," I whispered, while looking at the posters on the wall. "My name is Mason Bjorn, and I'm a human, I'm in Ponyville, I've been injured . . . my name is Mason Bjorn."

After I had my little talk with myself, I felt my thoughts that were about to make sense again, slowly start fogging over, and laid back in the bed with a groan. I let my arms fall to my side, and my right arm brushed something bulky and warm, and fuzzy.

Turning, I noticed that Ditzy was in the bed with me, curled into a small ball, and clutching her muffin pillow tightly. She was awake, and staring at me with concern. “Please don’t die, Bjorn.”

“Okay.”

She gave me a sleepy smile, and with her half closed eyes, and in that dreamy state, she looked like an angel.

“Hey,” I said, reaching over and rubbing her face. “Thank you for saving my life.”

~   ~   ~

The next morning was my choice of either muffins, or more left over hay fries. I opted for the muffins, since they were steaming and fresh from the bakery, and while Ditzy made our plates ready, she frolicked around her kitchen. I hadn’t had the opportunity to get a good look at her house the night before, but from where I sat, it was small and quaint. With the exception of the books, and posters, and magazines.

“So, are you a fan of this kind of stuff?” I asked, bringing up a magazine called, Action from the Under-City, and giving it a wave.

“Oh I love crime dramas, and action stories,” she said, setting a banana muffin on my plate. “What kind of stories do you like?”

“I don’t remember,” I told her.

Her head drooped a little. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure with enough of a jogging, it will come back to me.” I was convinced of this, and I tried to sound reassuring to her as well. “I mean, after all, I’m doing a lot better than when I first woke up in the hospital and thought I was a pony. Now I can actually understand the words I’m using, and what things are for.”

“I wish you were,” she said, taking a bite of her muffin.

“Were, what?”

“I know,” she said, cleverly avoiding the question, “we should try and jog your memory today!”

“That’s sort of what Twilight and Nurse Redhat want to do already, by having me look at whatever it was that was in my pockets.” The muffin was heavenly, just the right amount of moist, and it didn’t gum up in the back of my mouth, causing me to reach for a glass of milk with each bite. Of course, knowing this, meant that I was obviously a muffin connoisseur, or was beginning to establish some sense of memory through association.

“Besides,” I told her, “don’t you have work?”

Suddenly, Ditzy let out what sounded like a squawk and a choke, and spun her off-set eyes to the nearest clock. Then frowning, she launched her face at the muffin, and consumed it nearly whole, then dashed off for her room. “I forgot!”

I took another bite of the muffin, and watched as she bustled around her house searching for her mail-bag, and then drape it over her shoulders, sliding the strap between her wings.

“I have to go,” she said, charging up to the table, and draining her glass of milk. “I’ll be back this afternoon, I have a half day today.”

“Alright, I’ll either be with that Twilight pony, or with Nurse Redjoy at the hospital.”

Then almost as if it were a familiar action, Ditzy leaned in close to my face, and puckered her lips, but caught herself right before she could bring them into contact with my cheek. Her face instantly going red, she looked around, sheepishly, and then reached out and rubbed her hoof on my forehead.

“Be good, Bjorn. I’ll be back soon.”

It was strange, for just a second, I felt a warmth spread through my own face, and neck. And as soon as she stepped out her door, I felt sad that she had left. It was like a small rock had suddenly lodged in my throat, and I found myself, walking to the door, to open it, and see her off properly.

Just as soon as I rested my hand on the doorknob to turn it, the door burst inward, and slammed into my face, sending me flying backward into the living room, where I landed on the floor with a thud, and a groan.

“If you want to eat the rest of the hay fries, you can.” Ditzy stood in the doorway, looking me with a comical expression, but one that may have been perfectly natural, depending on the right angle. “What are you doing on the floor? That’s no place to rest, Bjorn.”

Then as swiftly as she was in the door, she was back out, and I watched her fly off into the sky, adjusting the bag around her neck, and nearly flying straight into another flying pegasus.

Oh, man. It hadn’t occurred to me until just that moment, but my savior, was a major klutz.