Screaming Eag...Pegasi!

by mineturtle

Rating: teen
Tags: Carrot Top, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 24304

The soldier from TF2 is sent to Equestria and gets into some problems he becomes friends with the only pony that would b nice to him. Well it's Derpy of course.

Soldier gets transported to equestria and finds it hard to live in it. He has been surrounded by nothing but blood and gore in an endless war how can he find peace..... well by derpys help of course.

Published 2013-01-04 08:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-01 09:51:53 UTC

Adding intro to injury.

Ditsy or Derpy as everypony calls her has always been ridiculed by the other ponies. Since preschool to high school it was always because of those eyes of her's, she was a freak nopony played with her and no pony loved her, she was always alone but when she got older she learned how to stop caring about what others said she knew that if she reacted to the horrible ponies she would only be feeding the fire. When she was old enough to leave home she grabbed her bag, got some money that her father loaned her, and was out the door faster then any wonderbolt could.

Ditsy was now free from the shackles of her old self she could do anything she put her mind to. Well that's how she would have wanted to live by instead she got lied to by a stallion at a bar a few months after she moved out of her parents home. She thought that she had found her night in shining armor when he walked up to her, he told her how he was a Doctor who traveled all over Equestria helping ponies and other things when needed. Ditsy couldn't believe that this colt was real he seemed like a dream, he didn't make fun of her eye or even stare at it or anything. After a few drinks that the Doctor was so kind to pay for were finished, he told Ditsy if she needed a ride home it being late and Ditsy being drunk she agreed. She got onto the good Doctors ride and was sent home it was the best night she could have ever have but like all the disappointment in Ditsy's life it was a ruse. When she woke up she greeted by a stolen wallet, a sore nether region, and a note that said how ugly she was and to add insult to injury in the same note was the bill from last nights drinks. After the whole ordeal was over, she tried to track down the colt who did the do with but couldn't he never told her his name he just kept referring to himself as the "Doctor".

When she gave up trying to find the "Doctor" she was once again given the wonderful gift of a sucker punch to the uterus. She was putting all of her attention trying to find the "Doctor" that she didn't notice she hadn't got her period. After collapsing in the middle of a town she was sent to the nearest hospital and was kept in there until she gave birth. When she was given her newborn Ditsy couldn't find it in her to give the foal up, she named her newborn Dinky signed the legal papers and was happy again she didn't need no special "Doctor" to make her happy. She found a nice little home in the town that her daughter was born in and was quickly settled in many of her old classmates lived in the same town as well she was never friends with any of them but she was acquainted with them. She knew the rainbow maned pony, she was always the first to laugh when some pony tripped Ditsy or when they called her mean things, Ditsy never liked Rainbowdash to begin with she was always acting cocky she was always gloating when she did one of her pointless tricks she was a prick always has been always will. The other pony Ditsy recognized was one of the only ponies she knew who got teased as much as she was, it was a yellow coated pony with a pink mane who was always so quiet in class, she never talked in class and she was never seen flying when it was recess or lunch. The yellow mare was called Fluttershy, Fluttershy never did anything to Ditsy that would cause her to hate her so Ditsy was still unsure how treat her.

Ditsy couldn't find any job in Ponyville that required a physicist so she had to go with the best job she could get that was available. Ditsy didn't like being a mail mare but through time she grown attached to her job. Her daughter Dinky was growing very well being a bastard and all when she learned to talk she never asked who her father was she just stayed with her loving mother when she was home. Going to school was hard at first for Dinky but after getting used to everybody and making friends she loved it, Ditsy was proud that her daughter was doing good in school and she always found time at work to go see her little filly.

Life was hard for the single parent but she was living by day by day. Ditsy living in Ponyville for a good time now made friends with everyone her best friend tho was a carrot farmer who's name fit very well. Her name was Carrottop she to found most of the ponies in Ponyville very annoying. They laughed they cried and they lived by one another so they were always in one another's home when the day was ending. Ditsy down word life was now nothing but up hill for her she was lonely but happy, she was depressed that she can't get all the things Dinky deserves but she was still able to give her small things. Life was good and it was all because of Ditsy's hard work.

A man's honor is very precious and must kept no matter the cost. No man lives by this rule as much as the soldier. He does not have or need a name. He was a man of honor, pride, and AMERICA!! The soldier was well not the brightest bulbs but he always had the best intentions. Ever since he was a little boy he was fascinated by war always played with toy guns and firecrackers, but as he got older his fascination became more of an obsession, he stopped going to school altogether and he tried applying to the army but when he was sent a letter saying they couldn't accept him because he never finished or even started high school he was devastated.

War was in his blood as he would say. He needed to be in the action when he heard that Germany and Japan has attacked American soil he bought his tour of duty ticket and went straight to France to go kill some Nazis. During the war the Soldier has forgotten his name he forgot who he once was, he didn't care he was in his element nothing could take that away from him.

When the soldier woke up in the crack of noon in a pile of dead nazi's he overheard some civilians talk how the war was over that America won. The soldier knew that was America was going to win but he didn't want the war to end, he wanted to go kill Hitler himself but he didn't know where he was so he went with the next best thing, he walked to Germany and killed bunch of German guys impersonating Hitler. Since soldier wasn't part of the army he didn't receive any medals or money for fighting in the war instead he got a pat on the back by some soldiers who saw him and a sandwich from the airport. When the Soldier arrived home he was behind his rent for about 5 years so he was homeless, he couldn't find a job anywhere that would hire a one man army so he had to find ways to live. He got many odd jobs he was a mall Santa, a lawyer who by the way had no knowledge of the justice system, and his favorite garbage man. As time passed the soldier got bored of civilian life he wanted to be in the action again so he decided to try mercenary work again no one hired him he was what you called a psychopath, sociopath, and mentally unstable anger fueled drunk. When his roommate Merasmus kicked him out for not paying rent the soldier went on a drunken rampage calling everyone maggets and shooting people with homemade rockets.

After a few heavy doses of elephant tranquilizer from the police he was sent to court to see what his punishment would be, the judge said that the "Soldier" was a menace to society and that he was to be sent to the psychiatric ward. Before the judge could hit his gavel, another idea was given a women dressed in purple said that she would pay for the mans freedom if he would join her group for a corporation that would oh so kindly like the company of the uniform wearing man. The soldier just hearing the word freedom was quick to accept because what's more AMERICAN then freedom.

When the soldier got out of the court he was soon beat up by a hooded group and was sacked, after a few kicks and screams the soldier gave up. When he was set free he was on a train with 9 other men who also looked quite beat up as well. The soldier quickly spoke up to greet the fellow people but was shushed as a television was turned on. On the tv was the silhouette of a women, she told the men on the train that they will now work for the Reliable Excavation Demolition company or RED for short. They were also told that the competition, Builders League United, also hired mercenaries that will try to kill the team. Many of the men started to disagree with the women, sure they were all hired killers but they didn't want to die. They were then told that the fear of death is not necessary thanks to Mann co's glorious revive-o-matic they will quickly be like the name says be revived. Upon hearing this the men quickly sat down and were content.

For 12 years the war between Team RED and Team BLU has been going on. Soldier was incredibly happy that he was in the heat of battle he has GIBD more people then he did back when he was in the world war. Soldier has gotten real medals when he won for Team RED and has gotten his fill of new weapons as well, he loved his life working with his team destroying the others in the fortress they worked at, it was like as if it were a "Team Fortress".

Author's Note

I don't know where I'm going with this story then again I don't know a lot of things.

A great idea.

The sun was rising the robots were marching and the rockets were flying, this was a typical day for the soldier. Ever since the Graymann came, he has been getting more kills then ever he knew that the hippie robots were trying to shut down his war, no one shuts down his war.

"Engie deploy a teleporter here." Demanded the soldier he wanted to be in the action as fast as he could be, so far he has been using his Cow Mangler 5000 more often he never liked it it took too much time to fire the exploding beams but it was one of his weapons that did not require ammunition. His team consisted of the Engineer, Spy, Demoman, and scout. It's not the team the soldier would have picked but its what he was given and by god he was going to beat those metal hippies with a team that can barely hold them selves together.

" Sorry soldier boy but I can't put a teleporter there it's just to darn close to the robots base it will be destroyed by the time the robots come out. It's just ain't right putting it there." Ah the Engie a hard working American, he was a hard hat wearing grease monkey, he was a Texan born and raised, he was real smart too he made the German Doctor sound like an idiot. He was the team's defense and he was always worried how the team was acting he was a tactical kind of guy while the soldier was more of a headstrong kind of guy. The Engie would always disagree with the soldiers plans because well they were just awful, the only good plan the soldier had was making a decoy of coal town to trick the robots.

"What did you just say son? I said to deploy a teleporter here, now get your lazy rump over there before I have stick my boot in your anus!"

"Alright alright don't get your knockers in a twist rocketman." The Engie wasn't one for violence between the team he always liked to play the good guy. if some one had personal problem then you sure as hell would find the Engie give that person a beer and a talk to that person for a good while.

"Will both of you idiots stop your fighting, the robots are arriving" advised the spy as he began to cloak but was soon discovered by a mechanical pyro thankfully the spy being a spineless snake, he was using a dead ringer and was back in the front.

"Good thinking frenchie. ATTAAACK!" As the battle commenced the soldier put on his war face he shot robots like there was no tomorrow. Robot parts were flying everywhere, legs flew over his head and a head hit him in the knee. While the soldier was massacring the metal menace, his companions were not so lucky in the battle the scout was quickly ripped apart by a roboheavy, the Demoman being drunk on the battle Field caused him to unknowingly stand on his own sticky trap.

The team was losing they needed to fined a way that would cause them to win. Luckily the soldier being the only one alive had an idea.

"If I overcharge my mangler and use all my critz canteens when I teleport maybe that would cause an ultra charge destroying the giant bomb carrier" with this plan the soldier couldn't lose, well the soldier wouldn't have failed if he thought over his plan. So he ended up overcharging his mangler to early causing him to shoot while he was in midst teleport, causing both energies to mix making an explosion destroying the robot base. When the smoke cleared, the Engie and co were going to congratulate the soldier. There was no trace of him the team just thought he died, so they waited and waited no soldier.

"Where in Sam's hell is the soldier?" snapped the Demoman drinking his almost empty bottle of scrumpy.

"And where is that shape shifting devil?"

An answer to a problem.

It was another boring day in Ponyville. The sun was glaring thanks to the Princess and the clouds were in all the right places. Ditsy Doo was delivering the mail as usual and stopped at Twilight's house.

"Why can't something happen already it's so boring today." Spoke Ditsy as she sat under Twilight's home for some shade. Lately the days have been going very slowly and Ditsy couldn't handle it. Ditzy was not a very adventurous mare but she enjoyed action as much as the next pony, so she was always happy when something happened.

"Hey Derpy are you ok, you're not breaking anything are you?" Said a purple know-it-all-pony as she was leaving her home. "You're not going to burn my house down are you?" Giggled twilight.

"My name is Ditsy and no I'm not going to burn down your house, I was just resti.."

"Derpy stop mumbling nopony can understand what you're trying to say. Anyways I'm going up the hill to go look at the stars. I'm sure astronomy is to advanced for you Derpy so why am I telling you." Twilight was one of the ponies Ditsy disliked very much. She always acted as if she was the smartest in ponyville, sure she was Princess Celestia's star student but she didn't have to act like she does.

Twilight, like every other pony called Ditsy Derpy, when she moved into Ponyville she met Ditsy by accident. It was a sunny day and Ditsy was admiring the local fauna she was told by her friend Carrot Top that there was a new pony in town, Ditsy being kind to everypony decided to give the new pony a muffing with a candle, as Ditsy was walking closer to the ponys house she noticed that there was a lonely raincloud on her home, so being as kind as she was decided to get rid of the cloud so she flew up and began to destroy the cloud. What she didn't know was that her candle has caught on fire and fell on the top of the tree. When the tree was ingulfed by flames Ditsy was horrified she then grabbed as much clouds she could find and made it precipitate on the house. When Twilight returned to her home she was greeted by a smoking home and a smute covered gray pegusis. She was angry but was quickly told by Rainbowdash that who she was looking at was the town's disappointment, Twilight quickly forgave Ditsy for her illness that she didn't have and was given a lollipop.

Ditsy admired the stars, she has always found them fascinating. When Ditsy heard Twilight talk about the stars she quickly got up from her rump, gave Twilight her pleasure wand delivered from Manehatten and went straight to Dinky's school. Thankfully Twilight's home was the last delivery she needed so when she got to her daughters school they were already getting dismissed. Ditsy picked up her daughter, said her thank you's to the teacher and went straight home.

"Mommy what are you doing and what are you going to do with your old telescope?" Asked the confused little filly. She has never seen her mom act like this before.

"Dinky have I ever taken you to go see a meteore shower before?" Dinky was delighted to hear that her mother was going to take her out to go see the stars, but something was wrong Dinky was forgetting something that her teacher, Miss cheerali, told her she just shrugged it off and went with her mother outside.

Ditsy and Dinky placed their astronomy quilt on the grass and waited for the day to reside and the night to arise. as the sun was lowering Ditsy hugged her daughter tightly and began to tell her how much she loved her. Dinky knew that her mother worked hard to keep her happy, she didn't need no special toys or any treats all she needed was her mother. The night arose thanks to the Princess of the night as was soon covered by glorious streams of light. Ditsy handed her telescope to Dinky and told her to make a wish. Ditsy too looked into the night sky she has never seen so much meteors at one time she was happy untill Dinky asked her a questian that she was dreading her whole life.

"Mom can I ask you a question?" spoke Dinky as she stopped looking through the telescope.

"Sure thing my little muffin."

"Mom who's my dad?"

Ditsy spat out her drink because couldn't believe what she just heard, she was never ready for that kind of question to come out. Why was Dinky thinking about that in the first place?

"Why would you want to know that?" said Ditsy as she tried to fake a smile and was noticibly shaking.

"Well as you know mom the school is going to talk about the family tree and I know all about your side of the family but I know nothing about my fathers side. So who is my dad? Was he super cool like you, was he a super hero is that why he isn't with us?"

"Well uh well..... uhm... he was in the....." Ditsy couldn't think of anything at the moment she was to scared to say anything she didn't want her daughter to know that she is a bastard being born to only a mother to be known as a fatherless child. Thats when it hit her Ditsy knew that Dinky has just learned about wars so she thaught maybe if Dinky thaught her father was a war hero she wouldn't ask anymore questions. The plan was full proof, there was no way the plan could back fire.

"Dinky your father was apart of a special corps in Princess Celestia's army. He was the best of the best he got medals everyday and he loved you very much." Disty couldn't holed back her smile. Dinky was buying the lie she didn't know her mother was lying to her, heck the less she knew about the truth the better.

"Really! Thats so awsome! When will he come home then? If he's in the army they have to let him go sooner or later. Right mom right." the plan may have gone to well Dinky was now jumpy around saying her dad was a hero and that she will see him soon. Ditsy not realizing that she just made her daughter think her dad was coming on nodded and said yes unknowingly to every one of Dinky's questions.

"So will dad come home soon."

"Yes yes and he will hug you and..... wait a minute" Ditsy realized she told her daughter that her father was coming before Ditsy could fix her mistake Dinky yelled out her wish that her mother told her to make.

"I WISH MY DAD WAS HERE RIGHT NOW!!" screamed out the happy little filly.

"what have I done?" said Ditsy as she lowered her head, she then lifted her head after hearing what sounded like a screaming pony. She looked up to notice that one of the meteors was coming right at her and Dinky.

"Dinky watch out!" yelled Ditsy as she jumped to her daughter pushing her away from the unknown falling object. Fire and dirt was thrown everywhere. When it all died down Ditsy got up to see what fell and made the huge crater what she saw baffled her what she saw. What she was a dark grey earth pony in a red trench coat wearing a helmet that covered his eyes.

"Um mister are you ok? Are you hurt do you need help?" Ditsy was confused at first but was then worried, she didn't want nopony to be hurt and if he was the one who made the crater then he sure as hell would be in a world of hurt.

"uhhhhhhhh" groaned the grey colt as he tried to move but failed. After a few more minutes of moaning and groaning the colt began to climb out of the whole.

Ditsy walked closer not out of worry but of curiosity. She didn't know if anypony would have survive a fall like that let alone an earth pony. "Are you hurt do you need any help" she asked again but now in a more confident tone.

"Yes I require some medical attention immediately!" said the colt as he stood up and then collapsed on the floor right in front of Ditsy.

"Who are you?" Pondered Ditsy, but before she could come to conclusion Dinky jumped on top of the collapsed pony. "Dinky what are you doing get of of him!?" yelled Ditsy to her daughter who was smiling and crying at the same time.

"He's here he's here. My wish came true mommy daddy came isn't that great?" Ditsy upon hearing the word Daddy was now more confused then ever.

"Um Dinky whwhwhy are you saying that how do you know he's is your dad?"

"Well when he was walking up I saw that he had abunch of medals and his helmat looked like the ones soldiers wear in the army come on mom if you wanted me to be surprised by making dad come then you did a great job"

Ditsy just didn't know how to handle the situation she was at a stand still, in one hoof she could tell her the truth eventually crushing her daughters dreams in meating her real father or she could play along with Dinky and say this was her father. She went with the latter and told her that her father was visiting for a short time.

Author's Note

I still don't know where I am going with this, but then again I still don't know anything.

This American boot just.... Wait what!?

A pony was the last thing the soldier expected to see before he passed out but then again he did live with a wizard so he's seen stranger things before, as he was falling to the ground he recalled hearing a heavenly voice come from a maiden, well somewhat heavenly, if heaven sounded a bit raspy and worried then heaven all together. Being a soldier means there is never a time for a break, it means you have to be ready when duty calls. The soldier has always believed this, he devoted his life to the battle even when he was on vacation. He would train every day of every hour, he would spend countless hours writing up battle plans that he would never use. When the Soldier was waking up from his slumber he fell new and rejuvenated. Still wearing his helmat the Soldier yawned and raised his arms over his head, not noticing the drastic change of his body.

"Uhhh where am I, wait why can't I feel my fingers? Were my hands glued together again? SCOUT IF YOU ARE BEHIND THIS I WILL RIP OUT YOUR INSIDES AND USE YOUR CHEST CAVITY AS MY LATRINE!" Shouted out the Soldier trying to use his fingures. The yelling awoke Ditsy fairly quickly making her get out of her bed and walk to the guest room where the Soldier was residing at and she began to think bringing a complete stranger who fell out of the sky was a bad idea.

"Good morning. Can you please tone it down a bit my daughter is sleeping?" Asked Ditsy as nicely as possible she was still thinking the colt was some sort of danger if he threatened to urinate in some ponys chest.

"THAT IS A NEGATORY CIVILIAN." The Soldier was going to yell some more to prove to the civilian that he had to speak in a louder tone then he should, But a quick slap from Ditsy shut him up quickly. "You...you slapped me. How dare you if my hands weren't glued together I would have beat you senseless but your a women so uh I geuss I'm just going shut up now."

"Thank you, now are you hungry I was about to make breakfast, oh and your clothes are in the washer but uh I couldn't take your helmet off for some reason it seems to be on to tight."

"What this old thing." added the soldier as he began to smack his glued hand on the helmet. "I have had this helmet since WWII nothing could break through this, not bullets not rockets and certanly no lady hands." with one last smack from his hand his helmet began to crack, the soldier never thought that years of abuse could make his helmet break and after the last hit he felt the pain of a million dying, burning, puppy orphans. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY HELMET! MY PRECIOSE HELMET!" the screams of a man or colt in this matter is one that brings tears to gods and others alike. the soldier has suffered many things in his life but his helmet was always there with him.

When his helmet finally broke it began to slide off his head for the first time in years the soldier was seeing more then he ever could. Quick fact the soldier never took off his helmet causing him to have very bad myopia or nearsightedness, so he forgot how the world around him looked. He eventually became like a bat using sonar to find his way around the more you know. The brightness of Celestias sun was overpowering, the soldier quickly covered his eyes and got under the bed. If this was the so called sun everybody praises then he hates everybody it burns his retnas and very soul.

"You don't take your helmet off very often do you well I'm sure Rarity could help you with your hat, but first lets eat some breakfast I'm starving." said Ditsy as she walked out of the guest room and went straight to the kitchen.

"I guess breakfast is a bit mandatory, let me just go put my clothes on first don't want to make my savior uncomfortable with my manmeat." as the soldier slowly crept out of his fort under the bed he quickly noticed something wronge he went to the mirror he couldn't believe what he saw.

Cooking was not one of Ditsy's strong suits but being a mother made her learn very fast. She started with burning cereal to making perfact meringue in seconds well actually it took about 2 years of cooking class and thousend of burned pieces of unedible food later but thats besides the point. Ditsy was happily cooking some eggs when she heard the shouting.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" is all that was heard when she saw the grey colt fall out of the top roofs window and run franticly to the streets. All Ditsy could say was "Crap"

The soldier was horrified he couldn't believe his eye's. "This can't be happening this is impossible." The soldier stopped running and looked on a window to see his reflection. He was close to bursting into tears because of what he saw on the mirror. What he saw was his hair, it was long and flowing. It looked like it was swaying in the nice calm breeze, he didn't care he was a pony his roommate Merasmus turned him into far more horiible things before so he was quite used to walking on all fours. The soldier has stopped crying and became mad he was ok with being a dog with a buzz cut and he was also fine being turned into a bald cow but being turned into a hippie pony was another thing. Without thought the soldier kicked a rock that went straight into the window of a mirror sale's pony.

The mirror pony was quite frankly pissed "You idiot! How am I supposed to make money to feed my family now?" the mirror pony was steaming he looked like he would kill a man well pony in this matter. "You better have enough bits to cover all the damages you made or me and my friends are going to send you down under......six feet down under." the soldier wasn't paying attention to the angered pony and kept staring at his own reflection. The angered pony couldn't control his anger anymore and threw a rock right at soldiers head.

The soldier turned around after being hit by the rock and began to walk in the direction that it was thrown from. he didn't say anything he just walked closer and closer the angry pony was starting to get nervouse and started to cry uncontrollably.

"Were you the numbnut who threw this here rock at my head?" Asked the soldier looking deeply into the ponys soul.

"yes" replyed the now scared pony he saw his life flash before his eyes. He saw the first time he rode a bicycle and saw his first kiss, he even remembered the first time he got lucky with his marefriend turned wife, he didn't want to die. So he did what any colt would do, he began begging for forgiveness. He grabbed his cash register and took out all the money he put the golden pieces in a sack gave it to soldier and ran with his tail between his legs.

"You are a spineless worm! You are a mistake of nature! You are walking vomit!" screamed out the soldier to the pony. After that was taken care of the soldier smiled and picked up the money "Ahh the spoils of war" he then heard the familier voice of the women who saved him and a new voice one that sounded nice and innocent, the familer one sounded very mad.

"How dare you leave the house and break my window.Do you know how much it is going to cost me for a replacement and and wow you have really beautiful hair." Ditsy couldn't belive how luscious this colts hair was she was mesmorized by it.

The soldier taking notice that the nice lady was distracted decided to leave. He didn't like being in animal form it always made him feel weird it was like wearing a soggy coat all day.

"ohnonono you are not leaving untill you repayed the window and..." Ditsy took a deep breath and blushed a little. She didn't want this colt to pretend he was her daughter's father but what else did she have she needed this colt to make her daughter happy and by the god Faust she was going to do it. "..... not untill you spend quality time with your daughter."

"Yeah daddy we're going to have so much fun together." Said the little pony as she was hopping around the soldier.

If the soldier was drinking something at that time he would have spat it out drank some more and then spit it out again. "My what?" Asked the confused soldier he didn't know if this horse was being serious or not

"Your daughter you said you would spend quality time with her before you left. Isn't that right Dinky?"

"yeah dad come on I have no school today lets go do something."

"When Did I ever preform coitus with a horse?" said the soldier as he was being dragged by both ponys.

"Oh now I remember it was when I was in germany and got drunk in that farm.. yeah thats probebly when."

Author's Note

wow this would have been finished earlier but I got destracted by ponies so yeah. I still don't know anything about anything.

Oh no a full moon. Beep boop beep.

Ditsy couldn't believe that the colt bought the whole "she is your daughter" act it just felt to easy as if the colt was playing with her or something.

"Mom why are you being so quiet?" Asked Dinky, her mom has been acting very strangely ever since her dad arrived maybe she's hiding a secrete, or maybe she wants to give Dinky another surprise. Dinky still being young still doesn't know how harsh life really is, she doesn't know that life has no happy endings and that every night in shining armor is just a horny colt looking to get in your behind. Ditsy is always trying to block that part of the world away from Dinky, but as Dinky is getting older Ditsy knows it will be not to long before her daughter finds out about life.

"Oh nothing dear just watching you and your dad play."

"Ditsy! Hey Ditsy! Oh come on I know you can hear me!" That somewhat annoying voice was non other then Ditsy's best friend CarrotTop. CarrotTop was Ponyville's second best farmer the first being Applejack. Ditsy and CarrotTop have been neighbors since Ditsy moved into Ponyville, at first Ditsy found CarrotTop a bit annoying but after getting to know her Ditsy quickly became friends.

"Yes CarrotTop I can hear you, now what do you want?"

"Welllll I saw that colt jump out of your window screaming, and I was wondering...." CarrotTop leans closer to Disty making an almost inaudible sound "Were you trying to get down and dirty with him?" CarrotTop couldn't hold back her smile, she knew ditsy was a dynamite momma but actually getting someone to stay for the night was something she has never seen Ditsy do.

Ditsy quickly moved away from CarrotTop and was blushing profusely. She didn't even think about doing anything in that sort. "WHAT NO! I was just letting this colt stay in my house before he has to leave."

"Yah auntie Carrot daddy is staying before he has to go back to the army thingy for Celestia. Isn't that great?" Added Dinky as she popped out of nowhere. Thankfully Dinky didn't hear what CarrotTop said leaving a bunch of awkward question in the future in the dust.

CarrotTop was confused, Ditsy told her that Dinky's father was a lowlife scum who should get his dingleberry's chopped off. CarrotTop being a good friend stood in front of the soldier giving him the eye. After a few minutes of awkward staring she finally opened her mouth to speak "so your the lowlife who knocked up Ditsy ay, well if you want to ruin her life again then you got another thing coming. So go back to where ever you came from because as long as Ditsy is with me then she doesn't have to worry about being taken advantage of." The soldier just stood there he wasn't sure if he should talk or just stay quiet, this orange pony reminded him of scouts mom she was nice but very protective and very dangerous.

Ditsy was just holding her head as if she was having a minor headache. "Please CarrotTop can you just stop talking I will explain everything to you later. Ditsy was sure that if she had one more problem she was going to lose it.

"Ok Ditsy but I'm keeping an eye on him." CarrotTop began to slowly walk away backwards sticking to her word and watching the soldier.

The soldier was happy that he found out he had a child but he felt as if he was missing something. "Body check, grenade's check, ass kicking boots.....hoofs checkoroony. Now what am I missing?" It wasn't until he heard the boom and a few screams of excitement until he realized what he was missing. "My gun where is my cowmangler!?"

Ditsy wasn't really paying attention to the soldier but when she heard the word "Cowmangler" she quickly covered Dinky's ears and quickly began to nag at Soldier. "Why in the world would you go and mangle a cow that is a horrible thing I have the right mind to call the gaur...."

"Hushshahsh." Said the soldier as he covered Ditsy's mouth with a hoof. "I sense someone is using my gun. When I find out who they will wish they were never born." And with that said and done the soldier sprinted away to the direction where he heard the explosion.

"Mommy where is daddy going?" Asked the now confused Dinky.

"I don't know but knowing him so far I say we should follow him." Ditsy grabbing Dinky and putting her on her back began to follow the soldier in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

*BOOM* goes the sound of the floor exploding near a tree not breaking it but merely causing the Apple's to fall"Wow Applebloom where did you find this thing it's so awesome" said an orange Pegasus with magenta hair.

" I found it on the top of the hill when Applejack told me to leave her alone. It was inside a hole. This thing will make apple bucking easier." Replied the earth pony with a bow on her head.

"I don't know that thing might be dangerous I say we should go take it to Twilight. She probably knows what this thing is." Added a little white unicorn.

"Oh SweetyBelle don't worry so much, this thing is way to awesome to give to a nerd like Twilight, we should go take it to Rainbowdash she probably has one of these."

"No I found it I say we take it to Applejack." The three little fillys began to argue with each other. Each one wanting to tell a different pony about the weird thing Applebloom found, after a few tug and pulls of the strange object SweetyBelle pressed a button by accident causing it to shoot out a charge energy wave. The wave burned down about three apple orchards causing Applejack to run in the Direction where the blast came from.

"AppleBloom what in tarnation are you and your friends doing and WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED TO MAH APPLES!?" Applejack looked quite mad, selling apples was the only way her family got income so if anything happened to the apples you sure as hell know Applejack will be looking for who ever messed with them.

"I'm sorry sis, we were just playing with here thingamajig and it then made this big explosion." Explained AppleBloom she didn't like to make Applejack angry nopony likes to see Applejack angry it's scary.

Applejack looking at the weird object started to wonder what it was, being a country pony she doesn't know much about the new fangled technology. "AppleBloom why do you have a toaster here you know technology frightens your Granny."

"I'm sorry Applejack I know that the techmologbly will take over the world one day and using one of their products will only make them stronger." Apologizeed AppleBloom as she was looking Applejack with her big eyes.

"It's alright just don't do it again now let's destroy this before it calls for back up. Now grab the hammer we are destroying this thing for our god Faust." AppleBloom in a blink of an eye grabbed her hammer to lay Faust justice on the vile machine.

The ponys in Sweet Apple Acres has always lived using the old methods, they haven't gotten used to the new technology going around Equestria it takes them time to except it heck it took about a decade for them to get a telephone let alone a working oven. The night was falling over the four ponies who were about to destroy the machine, it was a full moon and before they could finally smash the toaster they heard the sound of what seamed to be a howl.

"Oh no a full moon. I have become a robot. Arooooooooooo!" Announced the soldier putting on a cardboard box on his head and putting tissue boxes on his hoofs wrapping tinfoil on his front arms. The soldier doesn't know why he puts on his Halloween costume on when there is a full moon but he does it he asked medic why he does it but the medic keeps telling him that he is not medic he is Dr.Gogglestache the mad dokter.

"Oh no I told you that toaster would send a cry for help to its mother ship. Run little ones I'll hold it back as much as I can." Yelled AppleJack to her little sister and friends. Applejack knew that one day she was going to fight a robot, she has trained all her life for this moment like her father did and his father did.

"You will give me back my gun or I will download my foot in your ass. Beep boop beep." Screamed the Tinsoldier as he began to run for his weapon.

"Robopony you chose the wrong farm to mess with." Said Applejack as she turned around and bucked the soldier. The soldier has been kicked by a horse before but this felt different it felt stronger it knocked the wind out of him causing him to stagger a bit. Ditsy lost track of the Soldier and was lost in the Applefield very quickly it wasn't until she heard the yells coming from the east. Ditsy quickly made a quick turn in her flight path and went speeding down to the area she heard the scream from what she saw was well she didn't know what she saw. She saw the weird grey colt stand atop of the familiar orange pony as if he won a battle.

"What did you just do? Are you looking to get sent to the dungeon come quick before anypony sees you!" Whispered out Ditsy. She couldn't believe this colt beat up Ponyvilles greatest athlete, and dressed like a complete moron at that.

"I have acquired my weapon. Preparing to shutdown Beep Boop beep." The soldier then walked towards Ditsy and passed out, he thought if she could carry him from a ditch than she could certainly carry him from a applefarm.

Author's Note

CRAP I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW NOOOOOOO! Well I guess it will take longer to make chapters now well whatever.

Isn't that a girls name?

Ditsy seeing the Soldier collapse in front of her made her quite annoyed but she quickly sighed and began to drag his body to the nearest wheel barrel and began to place him on the contraption. She remembers how it took her about half the night trying to drag the strange male from the ditch and wondered how long it will take her this time. Ditsy was still quite baffled how this colt went on his own to look for his lost thing and beat up Ponyville's best athlete in the process and to add to that he did it while dressed like a "Robot?" it was just strange no other pony could match Applejacks strength. She was like a body builder or something, an unstoppable force, an immovable object, to get to the point she was strong. Ditsy stopped walking and started to look at Dinky and Soldier, they were sleeping like little foals it made her smile a bit but the smile quickly faded when she started to walk again.

"Who are you grey colt? You fit the bill on the description of Dinky's "father" you even look and act like how the fake would, it make's no sense how you just happened to fall from the sky on that exact moment Dinky made that wish." Pondered Ditsy, sure this colt was making her daughter very happy and making her think he's her dad, but what will happen when he has to leave. How will Dinky react when she wakes up and her father isn't there? Surely this colt can't stay with them he probably has his own life and was probably bonked on the head when he fell from the sky. He can't possibly believe that Dinky is his daughter thats...thats..thats just absurd....right?

Ditsy began to look at the colt again she then noticed that the colts wallet was falling from his coat Ditsy then picked it up and was contemplating if she should look inside.

"Don't look at it Ditsy you should just put it back." said the little angel on Ditsy's right shoulder.

"No look inside, you deserve to know who he is. You have been through enough things today to pass out on this opportunity, come on you know you want to." interjected the little demon on her left shoulder.

Ditsy was now in quite a pickle, she didn't know what to do she could find out who the mystery colt was but that was invasion of privacy and it just didn't feel right to do that. Well Ditsy made her decisions she just couldn't take it anymore she had to know.

Ditsy making sure the colt was asleep began to open the colts wallet. What was in the In the wallet was a few pieces of green paper, Ditsy began to look again in the wallet, she found some photos but of places that looked nice they photos even had names. One of the place's that looked nice was a place called Man co Manor, it looked nice and peaceful it was big and looked as if it was for a whole a family vacation. Ditsy began to get a bit annoyed with the lack of information untill a piece of nicely folded paper fell out of a hidden pocket.

"Now what is this?" whispered Ditsy as she began to open the paper, on it said the birth date of the colt and his name. After Ditsy read it she couldn't hold back her laugh.

"AHAHAHAAHA!" she was in tears, the colt she thought to be a stone cold soldier had the name of a woman. The soldier was rudely awoken by the laughs and so was Dinky.

"Who in gods green earth is causing me to lose my required sleep?!" yelled the soldier as he got out of the wheel barrel . The soldier quickly noticed that the pony had his mercenaries contract he felt mad for the invasion of his property but knew that he should have left it in a better place and saw that she was laughing at him it reminded him of kindergarten, he hated how it felt to be laughed at it hurt him then and it hurt him now.

"Jane Doe, are you secretly a girl?" mocked Ditsy, The soldier was now blushing for the first time in years from the embarrassment.

"Shushut up! It is not a girl's name. It is a very manly name. Anyways who are you to make fun of Maggot! You should talk you have an eye that makes googly eyes cry in comparison. Ditsy stopped laughing she then covered her eye and looked at the soldier.

"I may have a weird eye but at least I'm not a hired killer." Screamed out Derpy she then noticed that Dinky was confused.

"What do you mean by hired killer mom? Dad I thought you were part of Princess Celestia's Army?"

"Princess Celery?" said soldier in a confused tone. This was the first time he heard of this princess.celery.
both pony's looked at the soldier as if he was crazy. Who hasn't heard about the Princess of the sun. "She is the ruler of this place, silly we live under her rule she and her sister control the sun and moon." said Dinky as she looked at the soldier with tired eyes.

"That is not acceptable!" Yelled the soldier "I will ot live or let live anybody live in a hierarchy. Democracy's the way to go! I will personally take down those two pampas rulers and lay the foot of Freedom in their ass's "

thankfully Ditsy was near her house and pushed the soldier in it before anybody heard him say what he did sure it was late in the night and the clouds have covered the moon making the soldier revert back to his normal self. "Shush" said Ditsy looking at him "No one speaks ill about the princess' do you want to see the end of an executioners ax?"

"Screw that just tell me where these Princess are and I will show them why America is the best place in the world."
"What is this Amercoo you speak of?" asked Dinky while she wiped her tired eyes. The soldier almost fainted he will not et any of his offspring not know about the single greatest place on earth.

"Imagin it my child." said the soldier as he got near to Dinky and placed one of his hoofs at her side as he gave her a side hug "A place where freedom is given to you because it is your right, there is money at every corner and all the people are all nice." Dinky was amazed this America sounded like the greatest place on earth, but the soldier was not finished "They will feed you and treat you like equals, but they will then eventually stab you and call you a loser" Dinky's smile then lowered and began to quiver she didn't want to die, but the soldier kept talking "Yes and they won't stop there, they will also rob your identity and then go live your life as if you never existed"finished the soldier but found Dinky cowering at his side. the soldier just gave her a tighter hug and began to talk again. "But don't worry little one I will make sure to stick my foot in all their ass's before they could get near you. Want to know why I would do that?"

"Whwhy?" asked Dinky as the soldier lifted her up and began to take her to her room.
"Because you're my daughter and I LOVE YOU!! I will tell all the bad people who this is my Daughter and that NOBODY can touch her." Dinkys started to smile again but was quickly falling to sleep she gave the soldier one last hug before she went to sleep.

"I love you dad even if you have a girl name" whispered Dinky as she drifted off to her slumber.

"Dinky........ You are a great addition to my team it won't be long till you will best me in the ring of honor." and with those final words said the soldier with the girl name left. He never knew the feeling that he felt at that very moment was it um what do you call it hippies say it all the time.... oh yeah he felt the peace but it was strange for his whole life Jane thought that love was war now he knows that his love of Dinky was as much as his love of war. He laid his head on his bed and began to drift off to sleep.

"What a weak a pathetic show of amour I have ever seen." said a familiar voice while smoking a cigar but the soldier was already fast asleep before he could hear anything.

Author's Note

Sorry for late chapter but had school and that Damn William Shakespeare and his damn shtuff being all complicated and shiiiiiit.

An invisible friend.

The cold wind blew as the mornings sun arose. The birds were chirping and the squirrels were gathering nuts. It was a peaceful morning just like no other nothing could have disrupted the serenety that was nature...... suddenly a high concentrated blast of radioactive energy blasted through one of the tree's causing it to turn into a beutifal show of lights. The small woodland critters that were living in the tree were quickly turned into pieces of dust as their molecules were smashed by the extreme power of the Cowmangler.

"Outstanding Dinky! With a bit more practice I'm sure you could destroy the whole forest in no time." Complimented the soldier, even though Dinky and Ditsy already knew the soldiers true name he told them to call him the soldier because that's what he was and thats what he will be for the rest of his natural respawnable life. "Now Dinky what did I tell you about using guns for fights?" asked the soldier as he took the hightech looking rocket launcher.

"Dad thats easy." gloated Dinky as she saluted to her her father. She then began to walk infront of her stuffed toys wearing little helmets made from paper mache and began to talk as if she was a drill seargent "If fighting is sure to lead to victory you must fight." quoted Dinky as she saw her dad smiling. She then had a long pause before she went back into quoting him "Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than any of you." Dinky still didn't know who in the world Sun tzu was but the way her father describe him to her he sounded pretty awesome. "He invented it, and then he perfected it so that nopony could best him in the ring of honor." Dinky then grabbed the wrangler and one of her stuffed dolls then threw it to the air and shot it. For a little filly she had great aim. The soldier then looked at Dinky, she then dropped the mangler and beggan talking to her toys again. "Oh yeah I almost forgot....then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth. And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one."

Inside the house Ditsy was trying to sleep but couldn't because of the noise out side "I am going to kill both of them." said Ditsy as she was tossing and turning in her queen sized bed, she couldn't handle the noise any longer she was tired and sleepy why in the world was her daughter and visiter awake at...... "5 in the morning, they had to be awake at five in the fricking morning."

"Your lucky, when we are home he usualy does this at 3am. You should be happ he let you sleep in." said a mysterios voice that seemed to have come out of nowhere.

"Who was that? who's there?" questioned Ditsy quickly placing the blankets over her head.

"Who am I? I am the wind, i am the shadow of your house, I'm....... actualy here by accident." Said the voice as it stepped out of the shadows and into the light causing it's invisible body to shift the light making it look all wavy. Ditsy was now confused and angry

"Sorry to hear that but why are you creeping in my room........ wait you weren't trying to get lucky with me were you?" Ditsy got scared once again she then with all the air she could gather in her lungs yelled for the soldiers help. "SOLDIER HELP THERES A CREEPER IN MY ROOM!!!

"What nonononono don't call in dat bufoon he is going to....." The invisible creature couldn't even finish its sentence as the walls of Ditsy's house was blasted off and was now showing the nice burn't outside world that was her garden. The soldier aiming at his his rocket jumped to her room and landed on the invisible creature causing it to uncloak. The only thing the invisible thing said was "Merde" before he passed out.

""What's the matter? I came as fast as I could. Now where is that creeper i'm ready to crack some skulls." Said the soldier not noticing the body under him.

"Uhm actualy the creeper is under you."Stated Ditsy looking if the invisible thing was ok. The creature that was invisible slowly began to appear it was a white pony wearing a blue suit and a ski mask he seemed to have been knocked out because of the weight of the soldier.

After some time passed the Pony began to wake up. As he was waking, he had a blast of annoying noise go through his ears causing his eardrums to ring in discomfert. Dinky not noticing that she was causing the masked pony to be uncomfertabale was playing a trumpet whlle having a flag come out of a saddle bag she was wearing, Dinky didn't know why she felt stronger but when when she played the instrument it made her feel powerfull, it made her feel as if she was being buffed up because of the horn and when the banner was out and blowing in the wind she felt as if she could take on any bully at school.

"Can you please stop playing that stuped instrument?" said the suited pony in a annoyed tone as he began to get out of bed.

"Sorry? Did I wake you up mister?" apolagized Dinky as she lowered the trumpet. "Any ways, who are you mister you look weird, and why are you wearing a suit and why do you smell like a mare and and and?" Dinky was now in question overdrive she wanted to know who the new pony was and why he was invisible in her moms room.

"I am a shadow little one, I am the rose that is left after a love has been lost, I the handsome rouge who wisp's women off their feet, I am..."

"He's a spy." interupted the soldier as he walked in the room. Dinky was confused she never thought she would meet a spy in real life. Dinky wondered if this spy was like Hay's bond the Spy from like the movies.

"You're a spy, Thats so cool! Do you have a lazer watch and have a cool cart that has a bunch of gadgets?" Said Dinky as she began to bombard the spy with a million questions.

"Yes I am a spy and no I do not have a lazer watch that is just upserd. Watches can't even make lazer's."

"Well why didn't you say so."

"I would have but Zat sluggish simpleton interupted me. I would have said better things but that is not ze point, ze point is that I came here to find ze soldier so we can leave zeas place." Replyed the spy as he began to get out of bed..

Dinky hearing that the spy came to take her father away stepped infront of him. "You're not taking my dad away!" Screamed Dinky as she began to tear up. She didn't want the soldier to leave the past days that she had with him were the best she ever had, she didn't want to lose that.

The spy only stared at the tiny filly as he got up. If the spy had a heart maybe he would have felt sorry for the little pony but being a hired killer that steals the apperence of his enemys made him stone cold. "Do you know what I had to go through to fined ze soldier? Do you even know how much blood I spilled from those damn insect things. I had to bang the insect things queen so that they could let me leave and I did all that because I had to find that stuped American."Began to talk the spy as he pointed at the soldier. "Our team needs us now soldier so pack your things we are finding a way out of this damn rock."

The soldier new the metal hippies were probebly beating his team senseless but he didn't want to leave Dinky he wanted to stay with her and show her how to be a proper soldier so that one day he could fight along side his daughter and kill hippies together but he had to go. "The spy is right Dinky. I have to go my squad needs me they are nothing without me."

Dinky couldn't hold back her tears she knew that the colt she calls her father was going to leave but before she could fully go into sobs the soldier raised Dinkys head and looked her in the eyes and looked like he was going to say words of wisdom that will effect her for the rest of her life........:Where is the nearest talor I need my helmet fixed before I go." Dinky wasn't sure if she should go back to crying or smack the soldier for saying something stuped like that she chosed the latter and back handed the soldier but not out of anger but as a good bye. The soldier placed his hoof at his face and smiled saying his goodbyes to home that welcomed him he grabbed his clothes and rocket launcher and and helmet pieces and was off to an adventure, well not really he was going to the town to go see if anybody knows how to travel through multiple dimensions.

The soldier and spy were off to ponyville on their quest to help their team. The both began to talk as they walked down the block as the spy checked his clock.

"It appears we are quite early maybe we can get back home in no time."

"Hey spy can you still do that one funny walk with your disguise kit while as a pony?" asked the soldier trying to pass the time

"What the ancient crab stance taught to me by the monks of the Himalayas?" The soldier nodded "why of course I can one does not simply forget that much training just because his body changed."

"Prove it frenchie." The spy stopped walking and began to stretch he got on his haunches and began to stand he raised his disgiuse kit above his hid and began to do the spy crab and with that being done both the soldier and spy laughed and walked deeper into ponyville.

Author's Note

Wow i would have finished this chapter yesterday but I felt like a retard all day so yeah sorry and I kinda still retarded a bit so boom shokalaka boom.

Do you know what you're doing french horse?

"THIS TOWN IS FILLED WITH WUSSY'S" Screamed out the soldier as he let go of the corn sale's pony that ran away crying the soldier has been walking into shop's all day and has been demanded the pony's to tell him if there is anybody or pony in this case who knows about other dimentions.

"Maybe if you didn't YELL at everypony then maybe we could have gotten some answer's hours ago." said the spy as he was deciding if he should kill the soldier and leave him in a tomb for all the unfit ponies. He quickly shook off that idea, he may need the soldier later on so instead of a back stab the spy only smacked the soldier at the back of his head and blamed it was the wind, the soldier being stupid believed him.

"Well what do we do now we asked all the horse's in town...."Said the soldier as he began to walk in the direction of where Dinky told him where he could find a hat repair pony, the soldier still needed his helmet repaired so far he has been using a bucket to cover his overgrown hippie hair so that he dosn't get pulled into a rally to help the indangered species or something like that.

"What!? We did not ask all the hors... I mean ponies in this town you imbacile, we only asked well more like yelled at 4 ponies. And where are you going we still need to look for help you dimwitted American." The soldier stopped listening to the spy. The soldier eventually got close enough to the store his daughter told him to go to. The building looked like one of heavys little russian toys, the soldier just wanted to destroy the ugly house it looked like a carousel but it also looked all strange and girly. Sure the spy and soldier are in a world of talking horse's but so far this world has been quite awesome for the soldier let alone for the spy who seemed to have gotten inside a bakery with a pink pony wonder whats that all about. The soldier just shrugged it off and walked inside the boutique he hated the inside more then the outside, the smell alone from the store reminded him of france and how bad it smelled when he was there.

The door rang as the soldier was entering suddenly a flash of white appeared infront of his face causing the soldier to fall on his rump. From the flash appeared a white horse with a purple mane, she smelled exactly like the spy. The smell was that of rose's with a hint of after sex, appairently that line of perfume was sold here aswell.

"Hello darling how may I help a handsome colt like yourself today? Oh my is that a bucket on your head that will not be aloud, come here come here let not time be wasted on this crime against fashion." The soldier was then levitated and taken to deeper inside the shop. As the soldier was floating in the air he noticed lots of pieces of fabric thrown all over and pony mannequin's on the floor.

"Uhm frenchie where are you taking me? I just wanted my helmet fixed." asked the soldier he didn't want to stay in the shop any longer than he had to.

"Oh well that won't do eather darline now lets see you look without that bucket on your head." Rarity began to lower the soldier letting him stand back up but suddenly felt a tug on the bucket. The soldier put his hooves on his head not letting go of his temporary helmet.

"No I shall not let you take my helme.... ow oW OW stop pulling you are going to rip my head off." Rarity was not listening how could she, she needed to destroy the vile thing that was on the poor colts head.

"Not.. until.. I ...get that that thing...off." with one last tug with her magic Rarity has succesfully taken of the bucket the soldier was wearing. "Ok now that, that's over lets see how you look without that monstrosity on your hea........" Rarity was completly awestruck she has never seen a male with hair as luscious as his. Rarity could not hide the blush on her face this colt was handsome, he had a face that said "I will protect you with my life, and I shall give you rose's for the rest of your life as I fight off the thousend's of colts wanting you." Well thats what she thought his face looked like. In all honestly the soldiers face had a scar on his right eye and a normal looking face if it wasn't for his hippie hair this white pony would not have been gawking at him.

"Hey crouton are you alright, can we hurry up I really need to beat down some hippies."

"Oh how rude of me but may I ask you your name?" Asked Rarity. She wanted to know if he was already taken because if not she was going to go wild on him. One thing not many ok maybe a few ponies know but thats besides the point the point is that even though Rarity acts posh most of the time she is still a wild mare who likes to get freaky from time to time. Rarity has been with more men then Queen Chrysalis has sucked love out of ponies and lets just say Chrysalis has sucked whole cities dry.

"That is classified information only few may know my name but you crouton, may call me Soldier."

"Ooh a soldier boy now, why would a strong soldier like you be in little ol Ponyville. Shouldn't a big boy like you be out protecting the inocent like a big strong colt you are." Rarity was beggining to walk closer to the soldier after a few steps she had her face with his and began to sniff his hair, it smelled of smoke and blood, this made Rarity feel very excited. The soldier was beggining to feel very uncomfortable and wanted to leave.

"you know what, maybe I should just go to another shop that will help me fix my helmet." said the soldier as he began to walk backwords Rarity knowing when hard to catch is being played used magic to close the door. The soldier was now freaking out if this was a man holding the soldier captive he would have stuck his boot so deep inside the mans anal caviity that he would need a doctor to surgically remove it.

"Now darling why would you want to leave so early we barely started having FUN." With her last word Rarity jumped for the soldier but being quicker the soldier moved out of the way causing Rarity to smash her face on the wall. She got up and looked a bit crazier her hair was now frazzled and messy her nose was begining to bleed and she started to smile.

"Oh will you look at the time I have to go." Said the soldier looking at the fake watch on his wrist. Rarity wasn't buying it she wanted the soldier even if she needed to use force.

"Darling I'm sorry if I may be acting unladylike but I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU WANT ME!" Rarity then pounced on the soldier causing him to be unable to move.

"I have a daughter you can't do this!" Said the soldier frantically he didn't want to get raped by a horse even if it did smell good. Rarity did not listen and was leaning to kiss the soldier in the lips. The soldier then head butted Rarity causing her stagger back and fall on the floor writhing in pain.

"Oth you bathterd I think I chippethd my toof." The soldier taking the advantage of the hurt pony quickly picked up his bucket. He then looked back at her and said "there is no word that could describe how much I hate France right now." Rarity was confused "What in Tartarus is a France?" With that said the soldier was running away hoping to never meet the crazy horse again.

When the soldier was far away from the crazy French pony he was taking deep breaths he then noticed the spy at a nearby fountain vomiting.

"What the hell is wrong with you frenchie?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Said the spy wiping away colorful vomit off his mouth.

"Hey why do you have whip-cream on back?" Asked the soldier noticing a splotch of what appeared to be whip-cream on the spy's suit the only responce that was given was another painful sounding upchuck. The soldier just decided to ignore it and hoped that maybe some one in town may know how to get him back home, but sadly the day was ending and the night was falling so the spy and soldier needed a place to stay luckily an inn named Berry's Punches bread and break fast was close by.

Author's Note

Well sorry for a late chapter but I have been making the side chapter for the spy so yeah.

Time for sleep... or time for a drunk mares tale.

The soldier stayed outside with his regurgitating team mate, not because he was a good friend and all. It was mainly because the soldier was horrible with handling money. To make a long story short the soldier wasted a large amount of the teams money on ration type K food supplies and a watermelon, why watermelon you may ask well because it can also be used as a helmet incase of emergency.

The soldier was getting impatient with the spy and his constant vomiting what could he have possibly seen that caused him to be like that the soldier couldn't figure it out so he just lifted his hoof and brought it down to the spy's cranium. The spy was then knocked out completely, the ponies that were still outside and watched the actions of the soldier quickly ran away screaming some even fainted. The soldier then dragged the spy's limp body to the building so that they could get a nights sleep.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THE ONLY ROOM YOU HAVE LEFT IS FOR COUPLES!" Yelled the soldier, the building looked like nopony has used it in years. The Bed&Breakfast was quiet and some what saddening the paint was chipping and wood from the floor looked like it could callapse any second.

"Sir like I said there is no more rooms left now will you please leave?" replied the magenta mare who seemed to have been fidgeting on her chair. She looked nervous and tired sure it was late at night but judging by the mark one her flank the soldier just thought she wanted to go out and drink to the break of dawn.

"Well if that is the only room, then my friend and I would like to rent it. And no we are not homosexuals he is just French there is a difference."

"But sir it's only for couples."

"Oh really well then I will leave but first tell me what that sign in the back of you say?"

"Please sir don't make me read it?"

The soldier just looked at the magenta mare and pulled out his cowmangler it's a good thing he has deep pockets or carrying the huge thing would be a hassle. The mare was confused with the odd thing, she didn't know what it was and by the looks of her face she didn't want to know what it was for. She then turned around to look at the sign she sighed like if it was a shattered dream, it was the sign she made when she first opened her inn.

The purple mare took a deep breath and began to speak."A good customer is a happy customer, a happy customer is a customer who pays well, a customer who pays well will not leave a dead body on the bathtub and leave. So make every customer a happy customer."

"Now do I look like a happy customer?" Sputtered the soldier looking at the magenta pony. After a few seconds of awkword silence the magenta horse gave up on trying to tell the soldier that the couples room has only one bed. He just told her that he was going to leave the spy on the floor next to the rats. She just stayed quiet and took them to the room and walked away. The soldier payed no attention to her he dropped spy on the floor and jumped on the bed.

After the soldier got comfy with his new room and bed he quickly fell asleep. After loud crash the soldier awoke. He then heard the faint sound of crying. He got off the bed and exited the room he then began walking closer and closer to the crying wondering what was causing it. After walking in the dark for a good 10 minutes the soldier heard the crying coming from a kitchen. The soldier then kicked opened the door and jumped in releasing a battle cry thinking someone was being attacked. He didn't see anypony trying to steal or hurt anything instead he saw the mare from the reception desk cying while chugging a bottle of whisky. The soldier just stood there staring he didn't even know alcohol was made made in Ponyville let alone whisky. The magenta mare ignored the soldier and kept on chugging her drink while tears ran down her face. In her hooves she was holding a picture of a colt and filly.

"Lady are you alright. Are you hurt?" The soldier was not one to leave a crying women alone being raised by his mother and all, just leaving would have made him less of a man..... a horse man.

"I'm a bloody drunken mare who's never going to be loved again" whined the drunken mare she reminded the soldier of certain blue demoman.

"Look lady if you keep whining like you are, you are never going to be loved." Said the soldier trying to make her calm down and shut up. The comment didn't help calm down the drunken mare "I'm drunk. You have no right to talk to me." she just threw a bottle at the soldier and kept crying.

After learning how to handle a certain drunken one eyed cyclopse the soldier was always able to calm down the drunkest of all beast. With his skill he could make any intoxicated person or pony not be so sad. The soldier stopped talking and sat down next to the crying pony he then began to stroke her mane, she froze up but gave in quickly after a few pats to the head the mare was on the soldier's lap and began to speak.

"I'm a bloody mess. My husbend is dead and my daughter is too what a horrible thing now what shall I do. Berrypunch is my name let it be heard by you, while I tell thee may tale of how my life ended too " after a few more rhymes the soldier found out what the mares name was appairently it was Berrypunch and lets jusy say she has alot of interest in whine.

Berrypunch was not the prettiest or the strongest but she was smart, she was always the top of her class everybody had big hopes for the magenta mare she was expected to be the eras new genius. Sadly like most stories in life there is always that one day that changes it all.

Berrypunch was sitting in her room reading a novel one about love and loss a usual that she kept putting off. Lately her sister has been bothering her more telling her that she needs to get a life that doesn't involve books or school work. Cheerilee unlike her sister was not as smart, she was always at party's and drinking, Berrypunch hated how her sister acted, thinking that her actions don't have any consequences.

Cheerilee crashed into Berry's room and she looked excited.

"Like sis look who got invited to a super tubuler awesome party." Said a similar magenta mare with only a slight difference in appearance Cheerilee had highlights in her hair and was wearing braces, while Berrypunch had perfect teeth and did not need braces she needed glasses her family couldn't afford the sleek new glasses that make nerdy mares look hot she had to settle with the ugly block shaped glasses that made her have bug eyes.

"Geez I don't know." Said Berrypunch sarcastically. She was tired of her sister flashing all the stuff she got she just wanted to lay in her bed alone drinking some juice.

"Like come on sis guess its like uncool to just tell you."

Berrypunch just sighed and looked at her "is it you again, were you invited to yet another party." Answered Berrypunch she did not want to deal with her sisters stupidity.

With a big grin on her face Cheerilee only shook her head. This confused Berry very much if not her sister then who. She got off her bed and began to think. "Is it for mom and dad?"

"Nope sis you have one more chance before I zip out of here with your invitation."

"Oh my god it's for me! How did you even get an invitation for me?"

"Look sis I know you have been like totally down in the dumps so I asked the colt who is throwing the party if like my sis can come. The colt was like kinda unsure but after some "persuasion" he gave me an invitation for you isn't that like the radest thing ever." Berrypunch was shocked by her sisters sudden want in making her feel happy. She and her sister have never been the best of friends but they still loved each other nonetheless . Berrypunch then got a bit nervous she has never been invited to one of Cheerilee's party's before she only heard story's of them and how wild they are. She then quickly hugged her sister and began to change into something that is more comfortable to wear in a party, her sister was already dressed so she waited outside. When Berrypunch was done with her make up and put on her scrunchy to hold her hair the said there goodbyes to their mom and dad for the night and were out the door. Cheerilee and Berrypunch were going to have night of their lives.

When they arrived to the party both the sisters seperated and began to mingle cheerilee already knew most of the ponies there except for one. The mystery pony looked nice and kind, he was talking to some colts and laughing while others were ready intoxicated he looked like he hasn't even tried some of the drinks. Berrypunch on the other hand was to shy to talk to anypony she knew nopony in the party. She began to think that coming to the party was just a waste of time. When she walked out the mystery colt followed her.

"Uh can I sit next to you?"

"I don't know. Can you sit next to me?

"Oh haha. Let me rephrase that sentence for you. May I sit on the side of you. I brought drinks." said the mystery colt carrying two drinks. she nodded and he began to walk closer to Berrypunch. She gladly accepted the drink and enjoyed its flavors, it was sweet yet tangy it had a kick to it too. She was amazed at how good it was. she gulped the rest of the drink in one swig but quickly noticed the colt staring at her when she was done.

"Oh sorry that was kinda lame of me." apologized Berrypunch she began to blush why was this random colt here with her and not in the party. Wouldn't he be more happier inside.

"You know that party kinda sucks everypony just acts to fake. I say the whole hierarchy of who is cool and who drools is lame don't you agree.' Mentioned the the colt. This colt was kinda right thought Berrypunch why would there need to be a social group that determines wether how one should be treated.

"If you think like that then why are you here?" questioned Berrypunch she wanted to know if this guy was the real deal not just some guy who wants to get the p.

"To be honest my brother wanted me to come he says I stay home and worry about school to much." Berry punch couldn't believe must have been fate or something as equally cheesy that caused these two to meet. The both just stayed outside and stayed talking. The mystery colt told his name to Berry and she told him hers turns out they both had things incommen. They both liked juice and grapes hence the name for the colt who was odly called Finewine.

The both left the party talking, laughing, and growing more attached. They quickly became fast friends in no time they always spent their free time together and eventually fell in love. As time passed the two love birds got married. It was the happiest day of their lives. Finewine's dream was to be the worlds best hotel but wanted to start small so he bought a small 10 room building in Ponyville it was a big succes Berrypunch was just happy that she helped make her husband happy she graduated from Canterlot College with excelent grades she could have been anything in life but her life was for Finewine. She stayed with Finewine through thick and thin knowing the next day would be better. Berrypunch eventually got pregnant and gave birth to their beautiful baby Rubypinch. Both parents were happy with their life and gave up on making the hotel living in the nice calm Ponyville was enough they all lived in their nice Inn and loved every minute of it, saddly the story of Berrypunche's does not end in a happy note instead it ends with the cold harsh reality of life that somewhat ironicly ended the live's of her husband and daughter with a knife.

It was a nice night like no other. The moon was out and shined magnificintly. Berrypunch, Finewine, and a now 6 year old Rubypinch was walking in the streets sure the crime rate in ponyville was at its upmost height in those times but it never stopped the lovers walking the lonely streets at night nothing ever happened to them why should that day be different. This was the familys first mistake what they haven't known was that muggings have become more commen in the streets lately and that if you are out in the streets you may get robbed.

The lovers walked through an ally for it was the fastest way to get to their inn. Saddly this was the same ally that was closed off by ponyvilles police but hooligans have ripped of the yellow tape that warned any passer bys. Half way in the ally a group of ponies trapped the younge couple. The husband tried to fend of the ruffians but they were to strong it wasn't untill a knife was pulled out that things went from bad to worse.

After the knife was brought out it was heading in the direction of Berrypunch's husband. He was not quick enough to dodge the small blade, by the time he noticed it he was already to late. The knife then entered his body like a heated knife in butter. Berrypunch was horriefied, how could anypony just kill a colt in cold blood. She ran to her husbands dying body and wept, she was holding her husbands lifeless body weeping while her daughte wasr tugging at her side saying why her daddy wasn't waking up.

Berrypunch should have been paying attention to the ponies who killed her husband because they didn't leave instead they just added salt to Berrypunch's fresh wound. The knife was picked up and found it's new victim, best leave no witness's said the pony who killed her husband. True was this quote but Berrypunch was not going to die with out a fight. She picked up a dropped bottle put Rubypinch behind her and smashed the end of the bottle on one of the fiends head causing shards of glass to be enlogged in his face. The next colt wasn't as lucky he came charging at Berrypunch but tripped on his own hoofs causing him to land on some of the glash shards. The leader of the gang did not expect this kind of resistance from a mare. The leader then threw the knife at the distracted Berrypunch hoping it would kill her so he could leave get on with his life, to be honest this colt was not a bad guy he was an accountant and just wanted to act like a bad boy for a change. He never meant to kill anypony but it just got out of his hooves.

The blade was thrown and the aim was perfect. It would have hit Berrypunch in the throat if it wasn't for her daughters body. Apparently while Berrypunch was being a badass, Rubypinch was wondering why the the colt who stabbed her dad was standing back looking scared, she then saw the blade being thrown in the direction of her mother. All that could be processed in her tiny 6 year old mind was to jump in front of her mother and make her not get hit by the object. She probebly would have not jumped infront of the thing if she knew it would hurt so bad.

Berrypunch doesn't remember what happened after rest of that night, all she remembers is that the police came way to late and should have their balls lopped off. Damn Ponyville police department are just a bunch of fat ass's who get payed to sit and scratch their balls all day. Berrypunch was never the same again. Her Bed&breakfast was never the same she couldn't sell the building it ment to much for her and eventualy she stopped caring about life all together. She just kept the building to keep her husbands hopes alive, but in all honesty she had no other home and her sister Cheerilee is a teacher so with her salary she can barely eat no wonder she is always telling the kids to bring her apples and carrots.

"So thas mah story." said Berrypunch groggily she was have asleep when she was telling the story the soldier on the other hand was fully asleep the first word that came out of Berry punch knocked the soldier out like a snooze bomb. Berrypunch saw that the soldier was asleep she wasn't mad she was sorta happy she got to tell her story to someone who took time to listen even if it made them fall asleep. Berrypunch just made herself comfertable on the soldiers side and fell asleep she was probably going to have one hell of a hangover but she didn't care she had a Bed&breakfast to run she has no time for pain. With that done she fell into a deep slumber.

Author's Note

Sorry for takig long to make a chapter. I got the flu so I'm dying and it sucks so yeah. If this chapter seems a bit half assed then it probebly is I'm hoped up on tylonal so wooooooooooooooh my head hurts peace.

Get a haircut hippie.

The soldier woke up feeling great. He has never slept that good since he fell asleep on a pile of dead nazi's. Berrypunch's story made the soldier feel a tinge bit of sadness but he had his own problems to deal with, he had to get home to help his teammates. His team could be losing and dying, they are helpless against the metal hippies his team needs his help.

(Mean while in Decoy)

As the last robot was destroyed, there was no stopping the engineer's level 10 sentry and his three man team consisting of a scout and demoman. Ever since the spy has gone missing the engie didn't have to worry about getting his diagrams stolen so with every match won the engie upgraded his sentry with no pesky spy messing with his contraptions.

"GREAT MATCH! HERE HAVE A RAISE." Anounced a feminine voice on a speaker.

"Yeah great job on that plan hard-hat." Congradulated the scout as he was receiving his extra pay.

"Yah I guess yah little toys worked for us well. Am I right toy maker?" Said the demoman as he patted the engineer while taking a swig of his strange never ending bottle of scrumpy.

"Tis nothing team. Them piles of nuts and bolts ain't nothing compared to my machines." Bragged the engie.

So far the scout,demoman, and engineer have been doing great without the soldier and spy. Sure the robot menace's have been quite difficult but with the leadership of the engie they were unstoppable. The team was on their last round till they can go home and get their hard earned items.

(Back in ponyville)

"Yeah they're probably wanting me to lead them to victory." Thought out loud the soldier as he was looking blankly to the wall. Berrypunch hasn't woken up yet and the soldier was enjoying having her company. her fur was nice and soft with the smell of raspberry and whisky.

"AH HAAA! I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO CHEAT ON DITSY." Yelled out a familiar voice from outside making Berrypunch wake up and hitting her head on the soldier's chin making him writhe in pain. The kitchen being in ground level made the kitchen visible to the outside world from the windows. The soldier grabbed his chin and rubbed it a few times making sure nothing was broken, he then looked at the window where he heard the voice and saw Carrottop with a camera. He then stood up on all fours and started to run at her, making Berrypunch look confused.

"wait!" Screamed Berrypunch. "You didn't pay for the room." The soldier was already to far to hear Berrypunch, well not really he heard her he just didn't have any money.

"Sorry can't hear you. Just ask the spy he has money." Berrypunch only got more confused and thought to herself "wait if he didn't hear me then why did he reply. Wait a damn minute he isn't paying, that bastard!" this made Berrypunch very mad if there is one thing she hates it's ponies who don't pay their bill. She then stood up walked to the couples room where the spy was still knocked out. she kicked open the door, belched, and proceeded to walk to unconscious spy. With her alcoholic breath she breathed on the spy's face making him wake up and gag from the smell. "What in gods sweet heaven is that disgusting smell." yelled out the spy in between gags. "That smell is the smell of you having to pay the bill." The spy only gulped. "Uh do you take cash or credit." The door then closed behind Berrypunch making her and the spy have a bit of privacy.

While the spy was being beaten up at the moment the soldier was chasing down Carrottop. She was faster than him but not fast enough. The soldier got tired of running and took out his Cowmangler he then aimed it at the ground, before he fired he crouched down turned around and with the trigger pulled he launched himself up into the air. Carrottop stopped running and looked up at the sight that was before her. It was glorious the energy wave that was released from the futuristic weapon made a dazzling light that made all near by ponies gaze in awe. The soldier would have landed in front of Carrottop but he collided with a rainbow blur both individuals fell to the ground. Carrottop couldn't just leave the soldier even though he was by what she heard from Ditsy's stories; a no good piece of trash bastard. She then walked towered the growing crowd that grew around the two fallen bodies.

"Move it, Move it let me get through. I know the guy" Said Carrottop as she got to the middle of the crowd, she was impressed with the soldier. He managed to make a small crater on the floor without dying. That must have been some sort of miracle thought Carrottop. The soldier just layed in the floor groaning. Apparently he crashed head first with Rainbowdash Equestrias fastest whatever.

"Watch where your going idiot, you could have hurt my wings." nagged Rainbowdash while she was getting up and dusting herself off.

"Are you ok Rainbowdash? Fluttershy saw everything from the sky she then flew towered her fallen friend. She hoped Rainbowdash didn't get hurt. When Fluttrtshy landed next to Rainbowdash she passed next to the soldier. The soldier still a bit dazed swore he smelled the smell that smell's smelly.

"I smell a Hippie"

"You smell what mister?" said Fluttershy to worried to be shy at the moment.

"I SAID I SMELL A HIPPIE" The soldier then jumped up to look at the filthy abomination that was probably wearing a tie-dye shirt with flowers in its messy hippie hair. Instead the soldier saw a meek yellow winged horse just like Ditsy. She smelled of animals and forest it was horrid.

"Why in sams hell do you smell like the inside of bears a-hole?"

"Oh I'm sorry I'm such a bother. I didn't mean to smell like that. I'm so so sorry." Fluttershy began to tear up from the words of the soldier. She knew she smelled bad it wasn't her fault she hasn't had a proper shower in months. She has been cleaning herself with reused rainwater that she catches from the rainy days its more environmentally safe for the animals.

"Hey you can't talk to Fluttershy like that." yelled Rainbowdash defending Fluttershy. Rainbowdash had experience with guys who messed with Fluttershy. All she had to do was intimidate the pony who is messing with her shy friend and they will leave without putting up a fight. It has worked countless of times why shouldn't this one.

"I wasn't talking to you tie-dye pride." Said the soldier ignoring the rainbow colored horse. As he began to walk closer to Fluttershy he cracked his neck and gave a horrible smile.

"What did you just call me punk? Why don't you come closer and say that face." Rainbowdash to angry to think rationally, kicked a rock and hit the soldier in the head causing his temporary bucket helmet to fall off.

"You were in a big fat hurry to die,son" The soldier stopped walking and looked at Rainbowdash. He needed to crack some hippie skulls and he found some.

Rainbowdash quickly realized what she has done and wanted to apologize so she doesn't get hurt but she had to stay strong... for Fluttershy. Rainbowdash then grabbed another rock and threw it at the soldier "Yeah why don't you take your bucket head out of here before I kick your teeth in idiot." The soldier then grabbed the rock that was thrown. The soldier then proceeded to throw the rock but when he threw the rock, the rock glowed in his hoof causing a bit of red sparks to fly off. The soldier only smiled and said "Your mouth wrote a check, and this rock is going to cash it in." The soldier then threw the rock that was emitting weird red sparks, it hit Rainbowdash directly in the forehead. When the rock hit her the words Critical popped out from the top of her head. When the rock made contact with her she was knocked unconscious making the nearby ponies cheer, because street fights are always cool.

Fluttershy on the other hand grew furious with the soldier, Rainbowdash didn't deserve to get hit in the head with a rock. "If somepony talks shit, they get hit." said Fluttershy getting into her Flutterrage mode. She jumped in the air and began to beat the living crap out of the soldier. He was caught of guard and felt the wrath of the forest hippie. With his adrenalin rising he kicked Fluttershy of spit out some blood and ran to her "this was going to be fun" said the soldier. He was then blocked by a grey Pegasus who flew in front of him.

"What in Celestia's green equestria do you think you're doing?" Ditsy stared daggers at the soldier. She should have known that the soldier was going to pick fights with random ponies. "How dare you pick a fight with the weakest most pushover pony in Ponyville." said Ditsy. Ditsy knew that Fluttershy was a pushover and could not protect herself. Ditsy was then grabbed by an incredibly pissed Fluttershy and thrown like a ball that landed in an open trash can "Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once over."

Ditsy was dazed at the fact that she was thrown by Fluttershy, she has never done anything bad to Fluttershy why would she throw her in the trash. This made Ditsy lose her mind, she jumped out of the trash can and divebombed Fluttershy. The soldier stayed back and watch as both mare's started fighting hair was pulled and teeth were shown both fighters kicked, bit, and spit on each other. Once again the ever growing crowd was rising and now the whole town was watching the fight someponys even started selling items like Fluttershy and Ditsy fighting T-shirts, posters, even an action figure. Carrottop was selling her carrots to ponies that were getting a bit hungry she was making major amounts of money.

"Ditsy! Ditsy! Ditsy!" Cheered one side of the crowd

"Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy!" cheered the otherside

The fight lasted for a good 2 whole hours untill Twilight Sparkle had to stop it. She scorned the ponies who were watching the fight and told them that they were acting like savages. She then aimed her magic at Ditsy so that she could paralyze her and send her to Ponyvilles jail. The soldier saw that the violet pony was going to shoot Ditsy so he shot his cowmangler and the beam that was shot from Twilights horn. When both beams collided the energy morphed the magic from the spell and caused a rip in the fabric of time and space. A giant whirl pool of mixed energies was growing but stopped all the ponies started running for their lives then something started coming out from the portal. The sounds of clanking steel was heard everything in Ponyville was quiet they were amazed by what they saw it was untill Applejack started screaming.

"THE ROBOTS ARE COMING TO DESTROY US ALL!!"

The soldier only stared up to the sky and yelled crap for about 5 minutes untill he saw three ponies fall from the portal. The first pony he saw was a Cream colored earth pony that was wearing a Ten gallon hat, goggles. and red overalls with a teddy bear on the side. The next one he saw was a blue pegasi wearing a headset, bandages on his legs, and glasses in the shape of electricity making him look like a super hero. The last pony he saw was another earth pony but was dark green instead of a light cream color. This pony was wearing a kilt and a crown on his head. The soldier already knew who they were and ran to them. He gave them all back shattering hugs.

"What the hell jus happen." Yelled the drunken green pony. It was obviously the demoman for his butt mark was a spiked grenade. Plus the soldier could smell the drunks breath from a mile away.

The ten gallon hat wearing pony was amazed that his body was changed into an equine state. "Now I've seen every thing." This pony was the engineer of course his assmark was a wrench just like his logo in the human dimension.

The last pony was not as happy with the change of his body he was quite pissed. "This did not just happen. Engie please tell me the pyro slipped something in our drinks again." The scout was enraged he didn't want to be a sissy pony but he quickly changed his mind when he noticed he was floating in the air. "Wait a minute. I'm flying I'm flying. This is awesome!"

The soldier told them of what happened and how he was transported to this world that was filled with talking ponies. Their Reunion was cut short when a robot engie fell from the portal and placed a teleporter. All hell was going to break loose in Ponyville. That didn't matter because the team was back together and they were going to smash every damn robot piece by piece.

Author's Note

Well everybody who has been reading my story thanks now the story is coming to an end only a few more chapters till this story is done. So yeah sorry for late chapter but school is kinda a bitch but whatever. Peace.

It's the end of the your world as we know it.

It didn't take long for the mech's to adapt to their new equin body's. They only stayed stood still looking blankly at their body when they exited the portel. It wasn't until a certain orange hick pony threw an apple at the robot's when they started walking again. They quickly grabbed their weapons and began causing mayham in the streets of ponyville. The orange pony was quickly transported by her unicorn friend before a crocket could meet her face personaly. The engineer only stood dumbfounded as the mecha engie layed down a teleporter as easyly as if he was in his normal human form.

"Well that just ain't right. How the heck am I supposed to make mah contraptions with out hands?" groaned the engie, he knew it was not going to be easy beating the robots without his hands. The engie in his frustation began to kick a wagon with all his might. To his surprise the metal peices of the wagon began to morph together taking the form of a level 1 sentry. "yehaa! Now I've seen everything." The engie not losing anytime kept kicking the makeshift sentry till it began to shift into a bigger more awesome looking machine.

"Great idea engie you put our líne of defence while demoman and I.." The soldier didn't get to finish his plans as a grenade was shot at their direction. The bomb landed under the makeshift sentry destroying it instantly. The engie was struck with grief and could only mutter "sentry down". No one really knows why the engie gets sad or angry when they mess with his machines the medic began saying to the team that the engie lost his children and wife along time ago that's why he loves his machines so much each machine signifies his lost family. The despencer is supposed to give life to those wounded like his daughter would with sick animals, the sentry represents his protective son always looking out for those who might hurt his family, lastly the teleporters represent his wife how she would always be their for her family no matter how far they were. When the engie heard this rumor he stayed quiet maybe it was true maybe it wasn't but the team only let the engie stay to himself whenever he looks or feels down.

"What the hell are you standing for hard hat make another damn sentry before we all get discharged!!" The engie snapped back into reality and began to kick another wagon. The robots were swarming Ponyville many ponys were squashed, shot, burned, and stabbed. The royal Canterlot guards came as fast as they could sadly spears and swords are obsolete compared to guns and rockets. The demoman being in his sober state planted as many bombs as he could he didn't care if he didn't know how he held his sticky launcher he just knew that he was able to do it like normal. Every and any robot stupid enough to walk upon the demoman's trap was blown to smithereens the demoman laughed as he did what he was raised to be a demolition man like his father and his fathers father and so forth and so forth. It wasn't until the sounds of clicking was heard the demoman frowned and began to run he was then being shot at from left to right "What the hell do we so I can't hold of all the tin cans bah mahself!" Screamed the demoman as he jumped in the back of a shack.

"A little help here. Guys I said I NEED HEL.." The scout not looking where he was going ran into a metal version of himself. He was then hit in the face with a fish. It didn't hurt him physically but confidence wise he was hurt tis the power of the Holy Mackeral that makes even the most confident of man turn into a humiliated sad sack of shitocky mushrooms. "Aw crap not the fish." Said the scout as he raised his scattergun he blew the metal impersonator to pieces. The scout was not the strongest or bravest in the team but he was quick he needed to be if he was going to be any help to his team. He never wanted to be a hired killer he wanted to be a baseball star but having the mouth of his made him hated by most people out of his brothers he was the youngest and weakest his mother treated him like a baby even when he was older he couldn't fight or talk his way out of problems. So he taught himself how to run, and by run I mean fast he was agile and could maneuver through the hussle and bussle of Brooklyn's streets. "There can only be one scout you freaking cheap impersonating robot." "Oh you think your better then the real thing think again yah piece of trash." The scout taunted the remains of the robots he killed he then saw the demoman standing in the middle of the street. He swooped down from the sky and landed in front of his teammate "yo stank breath why are you in the middle of the street?

The demoman only walked in front of the scout and hugged him. "Uh thanks man but why so loving all of a sudden." The demoman then looked into the scouts eyes and changed back into a spy. "Uh freaken robot spy get off of me." The robot impersonating rouge only stared deeply into the frightened scout and opened its chest plate. It's chest then started counting down letting the scout know that it was going to explode. "HELP HELP I SAID HELP." No one was around to help the scout he was going to die he didn't want to not like this he didn't even get the chance to lose his virginity life sucked so far for the scout maybe heaven was going to be good. The scout then began to embrace death with open arms..... I mean hoofs but fate is a mean angry women who right now smells like alcohol.

"Eh stupid metal...BURP... Piece of trash take dis an scram." The sun was over the scouts face he couldn't see who his savior was by the smell he could say it was demoman but the voice was more feminine. Berry punch hearing the screams of a little girl ran as fast as her drunken legs could take her. She grabbed her frying pan and put on her sunglasses she saw who was making the noise and layed the force of a million suns be brought down to the face of the metal spy with the help of the most over powered weapon a female could find in her house the all mighty frying pan.

Author's Note

Sorry for late chapter but I got really lazy plus I was playing with throwing knives for a whole day so yeah that's my excuse. Peace in the middle yeast infection everybody.

But we feel fine. (a valentine special)

Prancin' about with heads full of lightbulbs!

Scout could not believe what he his eyes he didn't want to say it no matter how much pride he had so he sucked in some air and began to say the two dreadful words that he hated to say. "Thank you." The scout felt like a part of his manliness had died.

"Eh don't worry about it little girl. Now scram before yah get hurt by one ah dem tin cans" replied the drunken violet mare. She didn't know the scout was male he sure did scream like a girl.

"Hey I ain't no dame. I'm as manly as as uhm I don't know but I am a man."

"Aww ain't that cute she thinks she's a man, now scurry off home little one adults are fighting."

"I SAID I AIN'T NO DA.... OH CRAP BIG ROBOT RUN!" The scout saw the giant robot soldier coming from building and began to run. Berry punch was confused with why the little girl was running away until a large shadow began to cover up the light.

"Ay who turned out the lights?"

"Beep boop Destroy all Scottish drunks."

"Hey soldier how did you get so big and what the hell is a Scottish?" Yelled Berry punch when she heard the giant speak. To her knowledge she thought this was the soldier who stayed in her inn she was still pretty angry that the soldier didn't pay.

"Analyzing..... Analyzing.... Analyzing ding. Alcohol levels to high must destroy Demoman." The giant soldier after checking Berry punch mistook her as the drunken one eyed cyclops. He then pulled out his rocket launcher and aimed it to the drunks face.

"Hey what are you going to do with that there tube friend." Berry punch being to oblivious to what her current situation was looked into the giant soldiers glowing eyes. Before the soldier could pull the trigger the sounds of a battle cry was heard.

"FOR FREEEEEDOM!" As a unrelenting force force came upon the metal soldier the blade passed down from the DeGroot family for years well more like 3 years but still passed down. To Berry punches eyes she thought she saw a white knight with long flowing blonde hair with the smell of cherries and trees she wasn't sure how her savior looked like but the silhouette he made from the smoke covering the area she thought it was her hero. When the smoke from the robot soldier cleared up she finally got to see how her savior looked like. Before she could fully see him she jumped to him and gave him a kiss to her surprise she didn't taste cherries or anything remotely romantic like in the books she tasted heavy alcohol and some vomit. It reminded her of how she tasted she got off of the demoman and looked him over he was wearing a dress no a kilt and a crown he was a dark green earth pony she was then hit in the face with his face and slightly vomited in her mouth.

"Hey yah we little horse thing why don't you leave before yah friends have to glue you back together. I can handle this here robots bah mahself." The demoman beginning to get drunk again didn't care that be was smooched a equally as drunk female ha just wanted to kill the robots go home and get drunk like usual.

"What no way. I am not going to let these tin cans ruin my home." Berry punch was now kicked into a slight sober overdrive damn her and her quick recovery with alcohol. She was going to help get rid of the metal menaces wether she liked it or not. Her home was the only thing she had left from her family she wasn't just going to let the robots destroy it.

"What ever yah say. Oh an if yah going to try to kill these here pieces of trash don't just use that there pan yah need yah shield yourself from those explosions as well here have mine." The demo being one raised to always help women no matter how stubborn gave his charging-targ not because he cared for her well being its just he had another more splendid shield the one he got when he went to Persia to go persuade some people. This act of kindness made Berry punch very happy she hasn't received a gift from any one besides her sister and her gifts always sucked it was always a ticket to Ponyvilles alcoholics seminars. Berry punch didn't care how bad the demoman smelled it was alot safer being with him then being with that other pony.

"Mind if I tag along. I don't want to attend my funeral just yet."

"Alright lass but don't get in mah way I don't want to end up killing yah aswell.".

"Where do we go? The metal heads seem to be everywhere." Asked Berry punch she was now fully sober and fully aware of her surroundings no longer is her liquid courage coursing through her vains she was now her old normal slightly worried self.

"Well mah best guess would be uhhh... We could go and...no that would kill us. How about we run... not that involves running, I hate running. Oh I know we can go to the most secure area in this place. Do you know anywhere that looks like it could take a bullet you know someplace solid and sturdy, like a tree." The demoman was not one for quick and successful plans he was more on the line of placing traps and taking out enemy's hiding around corners.

"Well the only place that fits that description is Golden Oaks Library down the street."

"Well then what are you waiting for..." The demoman then smacked Berry punch in the rump to make her start moving and get them out of the danger zone. "take us out of this here hell hole." and with that said both the demoman and Berry punch went to go and hide in the library.
____________________________________________________________

Woo-hee, would'ya look at that.

"Now where did that yankee go?" After going into a tactical retreat the engineer managed to find himself lost in the streets of Ponyville. He began walking around to get a hold of his surroundings it wasn't long till he heard cries for help. The engie then dashed to where the screaming was coming from. When he got to his destination he saw an orange pony trapped under a pile of rubble from a collapsed house she was bleeding profusely from her right hoof.

"Are you ok mam speak to me."

"Yes I'm ok it's just my hoof it's stuck under a support beam and I can't seem to move it please for the love of the Titans please help me."

Not wasting anymore time the engie began picking up pieces of wood, rock, glass away from the hurt mare. It wasn't long till the engie saw why the orange mare couldn't move her hoof. A metal pipe was protruding from her hoof it wasn't just in her hoof it dug itself deep into the ground as well. When the orange mare saw what was causing her hoof pain she wanted to scream but couldn't seem to make any noise. After about a minute past the orange mare began to cry how was she supposed to farm carrots with three legs. The engie not knowing how to comfort the crying mare only looked at her with sad eyes.

"Sorry mam with your circumstance and all but I'm going to have to take this pipe out before your leg gets infected. By the way what's your name?" The orange mare noticing this pony trying to be nice to her looked at him and said Carrot top. The engie only chuckled a bit and asked if she was a comedian, confused with the statement she only said no.

"Now before I take this here pipe out you're going to want to bite down on something.....hard."

"Why do you say tha..." Before Carrot top could finish talking engie began to pull on the metal pipe trying his hardest to pull it out as fast as he can. With every pull the sound of splintered bones moving around could be heard making the engie squirm a bit.

"OW OW STOP! IT HURTS IT FUCKING HURTS!" Carrot top not being able to handle the pain began moving around making the extraction of the pipe that much more difficult.

"Mam please stop moving the more you move the more it's going to hurt." Carrot top tried to listen but the pain was to excruciating the engie gave up on trying to pull it out he had another idea it seemed a bit primitive compared to other ideas but it looked like it was the only way that could work.

"Mam I'm sorry but that pipe ain't going nowhere. Now I have a plan to solve this here problem but I am going to need your permission first."

"Yes yes I give you permission just take this damn pipe out before I end up getting tetanus from the pipe. Now please just do something I'm begging you." Carrot top looked deeply into engie's goggle. She wanted to see his eyes and see if he really was trying to help because with out the truth of the eyes she was blind. The engie seeing the pain in her eyes he then brought up his hoof and before Carrot top could change her mind he brought it down to her face making her unconscious.

Now the engie's plan was to amputate Carrot tops leg. It wasn't going to be easy but if he did it right he could make her at least survive from this whole ordeal. The engie kicking a piece of scrap metal created a dispenser so that he could see her heart beat. After making the life giving machine he looked in the pile of falling buildings to find a saw. After a long and painful task of finding the toothed blade he found it and began walking to Carrot top. He placed the saw to her hoof and prayed she didn't wake up while he was doing this.

After the engie did a short prayer he began to saw her hoof off. The sickening sound of metal and flesh was heard through out the area they were in. Thankfully her leg was smashed to bits and was in splinters so cutting through it was fairly easy. When the engie was done with his task of amputation he needed to place something on the fresh wound that would stop the bleeding. While he was thinking he realized he had his experimental hand that he and the medic created a long while back. The engie called it the gunslinger and it helped when he had his hand chopped off by the demoknight. He mainly used it when he had to go and attack the enemy's quickly. When the engie was finished applying the robot hand that surprisingly morphed into a hoof like him when he transported in this land filled with ponies. When the new hoof was turned on it sent a jolt of electricity into Carrot tops body waking her up.

"I was walking into the light and then you pulled me back." Carrot top then jumped to the engie and hugged him she knew she wasn't going to die she still has a few more years before she hits the hay forever.

"Wait, wasn't I stuck to the ground a few minutes ago?" Carrot top still hyped up that she's alive hadn't noticed her new hoof which kind of made sense since the point of the gunslinger is to replace limbs and act like the real thing.

"Well mam first, you weren't out for a few minutes you've been unconscious for hours, and second I had to cut of yer trapped limb, I replaced it with a creation of my own design. It's called the gunslinger it makes hands...er hoofs obsolete these puppys make manual labor as easy as one, two, three." Engie being proud of his invention hadn't noticed Carrot top was crushing things with her new body part.

"This is soooooo coool. Now I won't have to work harder then that country hick and I will be the best farmer here. Oh thank you mister thank thank you." With that said Carrot top began to kiss the engie. Time seemed to have passed and both stayed like that position until a arrow went through the engies hat.

"Thanks Beep fer standing still yah wanker Boop."

"We should high tail of of here."

"Yeah your right, but where shall we go the robots could get us any minute now?" Carrot top after finishing her elongated smooch was worried that she and her newly aquired mate might get killed by some stray robots.

After thinking hard the grease monkey had an idea. They should go to the most secure building in the vicinity, and he knows where exactly it would be. It was that one tree house he passed by it looked like it could take a good deal of damage so off they were the engie and Carrot top to the tree fort.

_________________________________________________________________________

Way to go slugger!

The scout kept running and running till he started flying. He wanted to make sure the giant soldier wasn't following. He has been stepped on by them when he was in his own dimension he doesn't want to find out how it would feel like to be squashed by four feet or hooves or whatever these damn mech's have getting trampled by two is painful enough. While looking back the scout wasn't watching where he was flying. The scout growing tired of his flying hid behind a cloud. After hiding for a good 3 minutes the scout grew bored and was contemplating if he should just go down and beat on some robodorks. It wasn't long till the scout overheard the sound of metal smashing and the sound of metal being crushed. the sound grew louder and louder making the scout pop his head through the cloud he was hiding on.

To the scout's surprise there was a light opal colored pony pounding the robots with a sign post. The sign post looked like it was ripped off the floor some pieces of dirt was still hanging from the bottom of it. The opal pony was then punched in the face by a glowing boxing heavy, she just took the hit like it was nothing and proceeded to bash the robots head in. After killing the wave of robots by herself she spat out some blood and a few teeth.

"Is that all you babies got? Come on go maximum on me I can take it. I wanna push my limits you scrap bastards!" yelled the opal pony. Scout just kept watching as the opal pony spread her wings to stretch, the scout noticed the burn marks on the tips of her wings the opal pony tried to touch it but squirmed in pain. the other features that were visible on the opal pony were the scratch and slash marks on her behind were very visible. The scout was leaning way to much from his comfy cloud before he knew it he was falling face first. The scout completely forgetting about his wings he fell next to the opal pony. The fall startled the battle damaged pony making her grab her chest making a gasping sound.

"What the hell is wrong with you. Are you trying to kill me?"

The scout doesn't answer at first he just tries to get back up and play it off acting like he fell on purpose. The opal pony wasn't buying it and begin to raise the makeshift weapon. The scout quickly put his hooves over his face to protect it.

"HA! Two for flinching." The scout being confused took the punches and looked stupidly at the pony.

"This is a real freaking embarrassment."

"Yeah I know, sucks to be you. Hey what's your name by the way."

"Uh I uh just call me the scout and I am the fastest perso.... I mean pony you will ever meet. Now whats your name bozo?" gloated the scout with a grin plastered on his face beginning to flex his muscle's, this was very common for the scout he was always trying to impress women it always seemed to fail. The opal pony only laughed at the weak display in front of her.

"The names Lightning Dust, and stringbean there ain't nopony faster then me. How about a race you me and all these knuckle heads. First to make it to the ugly carousel looking shop wins. 3.2.1 go" Without the scouts answer she quickly zipped out of sight. The scout still stunned with what happened didn't move until he realized he just got himself into a race. Not wanting to lose to a opal colored pony popped open his emergency can of Bonk Atomic Punch. Feeling the energy course through his veins, his body began to vibrate incredibly fast this was the effect of the radioactive drink. Time began to slow down for the scout when he began to move the ground shook under neath him he then started to sprint then run and then finally fly. When he flew he couldn't feel the wind hit his face. After a few seconds of flying he passed Lightning Dust ironically leaving her in the dust. She then sped up trying to catch up to the blur, scouts drink was wearing off making him slow down a bit letting Lightning Dust catch up. Both were neck a neck they didn't care that there was robots following they were having to much fun when they made it to carousel boutique they completely forgot why they came to this area. Lightning Dust blushed when she looked at scout as did the scout.

"You're pretty fast." Complimented the scout as he took in a deep breath.

"Yeah you ain't that bad either." they both stayed there ogling each other they both in the heat of the moment leaned closer and closer to each other which soon became a kiss. The were then airblasted making them notice that now was not the time for lovey dovey stuff. Thinking of something the scout noticed the engineer and demoman running to a house that oddly looked like a tree. The scout not being the smartest thought it was just decoration. Both the demoman and engie were accompanied by a pony one orange and one magenta. The scout thought they were going to make a battle plan so he grabbed Lightning Dash and Flew to the house.

Author's Note

I am incredibly sorry for a late chapter but I had to write an essay about the meaning of love for my English class so yeah that's my excuse. HAPPY VALENTINES EVERYBODY!

Reuniting thanks to three happy helpers.

The soldier was skipping around shooting his lasers of joy and wonderment to the oh so lucky metal hippies. When the beam of pure happiness made contact with the mechanical hackysackers they exploded with bright and colorful rainbows and candy. All the little fillys and colts jumped with joy as it rained rainbows and candy. The soldier laid his weapon down and stood on the ground smiling at his work. After looking at the rainbows and candy for a long time he frowned and began to curse, yell, and kick the ground under his hooves. He then ripped the infernal goggles he was wearing and threw them to the floor.

"God damn pyro goggles! These things are supposed to make me less stressed out, not make me make hippies smile and crap." The soldier upon wearing his pyro goggles got separated from the engie causing him to be in Ponyvilles only and somewhat burned school. His plan was simple; wear a disguise to confuse the robots and then flank them from the behind. Much to this carefully planned plan the soldier wore his goggles that were given to him by the pyro. Come to think about it this pony place seems exactly like the pyros make believe place. The soldier thinks the pyro would love to be in this place filled with talking ponies he she would feel right at home.

The soldier not wanting to meet anymore metal hippies decided to hide inside the slightly burned school. He kicked down the door causing screams from little pony children to be heard and before the soldier could see what was making the noise a barrage of books and pencils were set to his direction.

"Alright troops we have captured one of them. Dismantle it so we could use it for our barricade." Said a familer voice. It was Dinky the soldier couldn't believe his eyes his little girl was leading her own squad like a true soldier.

"Uh Dinky..." Before the little colt could finish his sentence Dinky gave him a cold stare. The colt then gulped and fixed his mistake.

"Uhm I mean sergeant Dinky this uh robot thingy is like not a robot."

"Yeah he's like a skin robot do we still take him apart." The two colts who were checking on the grounded soldier were not the brightest of bulbs nor were they the strongest of bulls they were just idiots. Idiots in the purest form how they aren't dead is a mystery.

"Dammit Snips and Snails that's not a robot you idiots. Both of you are the sorriest excuses for soldiers I have ever seen." Dinky jumping off a chair landed next to the downed soldier. She was not expecting to see her dad here she thaught he was already gone albeit he left her home three days ago. Both were silent the soldier stood up and saluted his daughter. Dinky being more emotional jumped to her father who was trying to hide his tears they then hugged until Dinky's teacher had to ruin the moment.

"Dinky as your teacher I demand you to tell me who that stallion you are hugging is........ He might be a robot in disguise like the last one." Said the only other adult that appeared to be in the room. The teacher looked oddly like Berry Punch but cleaner. She pointed to a pile of dead spybots and gulped hoping this soldier fellow wasn't one of them.

"Don't worry Miss Cheerilee he's my dad and he came here to save us with his boom cannon." All the students cheered upon hearing this, and even the teacher was filled with joy she has enough trouble dealing with the fact that some students are well how some would say sleeping six feet under right now.

"I am?" Questioned the soldier, he just thaught he was going to hide in the school with the little children. He then saw the hope in their little eyes and stood straight making a salute "oh yeah I am going to save you all Don't know how though but I will or my name isn't Jane Doe, or until I remember what my real name is." The soldier counted up the amount of children who he was going to try to save there was only about 9 counting the teacher.

"So how are you going to save us Mr.Doe if I may ask." Asked the nervous teacher. She was shaking and every step made her flinch wow apparently some ponies are not use to gun fire and explosion must be a commie an American wouldn't be afraid. Thought the soldier until a sniper bullet bounced off his helmet.

"YOU MISSED BALBO BIBBINS!" The children and teacher began to scream and run around in circles. The little one wearing a tiara appeared to have pissed herself sucks for her. "Calm down that camper might see you now who here knows how to use a gun besides Dinky." Only three little hooves were put up. It was a little orange pegasus pony with magenta hair, a white unicorn with a dumb look on her face, and a regular earth pony wearing a bow.

"We used paintball guns before Mister does that count?" Said the bow wearing pony. The soldier nodded and ran outside as quickly with out getting shot to acquire some weapons that were laying on the road. All he could get were a scattergun, revolver, and a regular shotgun.

"Alright maggots pick a weapon and then we will run outside and shoot every damn hippie we see oh and the robots if you see any." The three little fillies grabbed the weapon they felt more comfortable with. The magenta haired Filly oddly named Scootaloo grabbed the scattergun, the small dimwit looking unicorn grabbed the revolver she told the soldier that her name was Sweetie Belle, the last little filly grabbed the shotgun she looked nervous but was eager to help she introduced herself to the soldier telling her name and what not.

"Whoa whoa whoa you can't possibly think giving children weapons would help." Cheerilee having a little sense scolded the soldier. She was not going to let anymore of her students die. The soldier only stared at her with empty eyes not saying anything Cheerilee tried to keep her composure but couldn't after staring into the soldiers empty eyes it felt like she was staring through an endless void filled with nothing but pain and anguish.

"Well as I was saying you three will need to go outside and destroy as much robots while I wait in here and not get shot at." Without anymore explanation the three ran out yelling "CUTIEMARK CRUSADERS ROBOT KILLERS GO!"

The little fillys ran out guns ablaze. The robot impersonators didn't know what hit them literally. The Cutiemark whatchamacallit were to short for the robots visual sensors. Scootaloo ran past robot to robot blasting them in the face and running away before she could get hurt, she would jump from bot to bot to quick for them to do anything. When she was done with one group she would gloat and taunt the deceased metal heads. Sweety Belle was not as sporadic as her orange comrade she was slower and more precise with her kills she would stick with the shadows and blind spots only attacking when chances were brought. She found that the best way to do all of this was to wear some of the robots faces she would rip a face off and wear it like some demented fashion queen tricking every mechanical beast that would wave at her as if it were in its team. Applebloom was more tactical she analyzed the shapes of the robots and found where their weak spots were and when she blasted some of the mechs she went to its remains and checked for anything useful she found out that it was incredibly easy to rewire the robots to help her and her buddies she thanks her cousin Babs for teaching her how to Hotwire some things. When all the robots in the vicinity were destroyed they came back to tell the soldier that they finished what they were told with smiles and cheerful singing.

"You three deserve a medal." Congratulated the soldier after saying that he had an idea he ran outside grabbed some pieces and came back to them he gave Scootaloo a metal cap with a headpiece she thanked the soldier and put it on the weight was to much and she began to lean to the side. He gave Sweetybelle a piece of scrap metal that looked oddly like a fedora she loved its sleek look and put it on covering most of her head for it being to big. Lastly the soldier gave the bow wearing filly a metal hard hat with red goggles attached to it when he put it on her something wasn't right the soldier thought and thought until it hit him he ran back out and grabbed a scrunched up piece of sheet metal and shaped it to a bow he then came back and attached it to her hat. All three of them hugged the soldier and led all the students to their designated homes.

The soldier then picked up Dinky and placed her on his back waving goodbye at the three fillys who risked their lives just like true AMERICANS but then he realized they were ponies they would have been a great addition to his team back home. He wanted to take Dinky somewhere safer somewhere she wont get hurt. After walking aimlessly for a good while he saw his teammates all heading towards a tree like facility, the soldier believing in safety in numbers soon followed.

"MAGGOTS I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!" yelled out the soldier as he was running full speed dodging rockets and bullets being shot at him he had Dinky wearing his helmet and other pieces of scrap so she wont get hurt. the engie was the first to see the soldier and the large amount of gun fire following he told the the rest of the team to quickly run inside. The scout upon being told made a mad dash to the door trying to open it as quickly as possible he turned the knob to the left it didn't open, he turned it to the right nothing. The scout then began to freak out.

"Uh we have some kind of problem. This door ain't opening were locked out." Before anypony could respond back Lightning Dust charged at the door and kicked it in.

"Sorry babe but you were to slow I don't know about you but I don't want to end up meeting one of those exploding arrows face first...again." she then grabbed the scout by the hair somehow with her hooves and pulls scout in the door. The rest of the group soon followed the soldier caught up being last and jumped in before a glowing rocket could kiss his backside. The blast caused the building to shake. The soldier laid on the floor wondering about if he is inside a tree would it still be a structure or would it a tree. He then gave up on thinking about it and proceeded to close the door well almost......ok there was no door apparently somepony kicked it open. The inside of the tree was completely visible by the robots and the robots seem to know this. A group of mechs then trudged their way to the treehouse...housetree......Treehome.... forget it the base. They trudged to the base at full throttle before they could enter the building they suddenly smashed as if there was a wall blocking it. The soldier walked closer to the open door trying to figure out why the robots aren't entering the building and killing them. The soldier noticed that between the robots and him was a thin purple aura that shifts everytime the robots touched it. Trying to finish his hypothesis on what was keeping the mechs away stuck his hoof through the weird barrier his hoof went straight through the purple haze and was then shot at and burned.

"This is a field or some kind of force." Stated the soldier as he brought his hoof back in not really caring about the damage that was done to him.

"We know." Said everybody I mean everypony. While the soldier was looking at the field Twilight came out of her secret room with her 5 other friends and Ditsy they saw that more ponies came in the house and twilight wanted to know if they were okay. She began to talk to the ponies closest to her which was newly made cyborg Carrot Top. Carrot Top told Twilight that the robots have left the town in ruins, she also told her that the royal guards were easily wiped out by the explosions and gunfire. Twilight only stayed in thought while her friends gasped in horror.

"...........fuck" was all twilight could say. She had nothing to say but that simple word. She fought against a god, a seductress, and a large assortment of animals that could easily tear you a new one but these robots were completely alien to her. Her magic barely worked on them only being able to push them back a bit. Damn that Greymann for knowing where to buy Murasmus's antimagic windex solution.

apology from author

Sorry for not finishing the story I kinda forgot and also I got stuck playing COC. (those who know what that is you're awesome.) Also I usually write the stories on my phone but the whole change of the website was weird and messed it up. Anyways I'm just here to say I'll finish the story.