A Wonderful Audience
Coal Buck walked on stage, waving to a crowd of thousands, perhaps millions of humans. He pulled a microphone to his mouth and shouted, “Well he-he-hello fans of my second life! Actually, I think you’re all fans of My Second Life, not my second life!” Coal winked to the crowd and they burst into laughter. “You know, it’s great to tell a lame joke and still have an audience laugh. It just warms me up inside. Anyway, it’s been a year and a day since my story first started, and it’s been a few months since the last update, so I’ll fill you in on the situation!”
Coal paced back and forth across the stage, a stage with wood floorboards and a giant white brick wall behind it all. They were located outside in an open plain, and not an ounce of civilization, aside from the stage itself, could be found. It seemed like an odd location, but a perfect one nonetheless. “Alright, last we left off, I had been-”
“Yeah, yeah, cool it, hot shot. A replica of Coal shoved him and took the mic away. The copy looked nearly an exact, were it not for his blue polo shirt, perfect fitting jeans, and the way he moved. He seemed to always have his chin up and chest puffed out. “I can handle it from here. As my strong, kind friend here was saying, in the last installment of My Second Life, Host was fighting Lust in a battle of epic proportions-”
Another Coal slammed the prideful Coal and stole the mic. This next Coal was wearing a pair of loose jeans and a ruffled, brown, half-buttoned dress shirt. “Hehe, Applejack and Host had been fu-”
Once again, the microphone was snatched away by... you guessed it, yet another Coal. “Mine! Hey, you know what would be a great idea? If you all sent Host here a small amount of money to afford a psychologist, and maybe some more to buy-”
The microphone found itself in the hands of a Coal that was munching on... something. “I think... ommm mnn... that we could use... nom mo mmm... a lot more food.” He handed the mic to a Coal that was yelling at all the others so he could shove more food into his mouth.
“And how come you all get the spotlight, huh? Oh hey, the microphone! Ugh, where did you get that food? How come I didn’t get any?” he shouted, barely paying attention to the microphone in his hands.
The Coals all piled around the envious Coal and attempted to take it. One Coal was lying on the floor a few feet away, staring up into the sky. “ENOUGH!”
Every Coal stopped and the mic dropped to the floor. A coal seething and grinding his teeth stomped over to it and picked it up. He forcefully shoved it into Host Coal’s hands and pushed the rest of the Coals off stage. There were yells of pain and cries of mercy before all went silent. The crowd awaited Coal. “Erhem, sorry for the interruption, folks! As stated earlier, last I remember I had got in a fight with myself over conflicting emotions after having a wonderful time with AJ, and Dashie took Applejack to gather something with a cart or something, I don’t recall. I went for a nice, cold walk to ease my pains after that. When I arrived in Ponyville, it seemed everypony was busy with something. I saw the girls off a bit talking, but let ‘em be. Besides, I’m sure Rainbow Dash would have tackled me if I didn't!
“I continued on, waved to a few ponies, and strolled along as though it were normal for a human to live in Ponyville. I ran into Scoots and Cloudy practicing and decided to watch. Now, that might seem a bit odd, but I love my daughter dearly, and to see her having fun like this was quite a joyful delight! After their play and practice, they settled down and... and...” Coal pulled the mic away from himself for a second to breathe. “Sorry. They settled down and cuddled a bit. By then I figured it was high-time I let them be. That’s pretty much where I left off, but I’m not so sure about AJ and RD.”
Coal turned to the wall behind him and called, “Girls! You wanna come out and explain the situation you were at?”
Rainbow Dash zoomed over the wall while Applejack chuckled to herself and trotted around the right side. “Don’t mind if I do!” Dash shouted, swiping up the microphone from Coal with quick speed.
The crowd murmured in awe at her speed and tricks she performed after taking the mic. AJ smiled and shook her head. “Well, AJ told me all about what was going on before I entered the room after we left the house. I got worried that Mr. Smooth Moves here might angry with my intru... intrusi... interruption, and freaked out all over AJ!” RD flailed around to emphasize her point. “And then I started talking about New Years and how I invited everypony to chill out with us and Coal and AJ finally understood why it was so important!” Dash threw the mic into the air, swirled around it, and caught it. “We talked about what we were going to do as we headed over to AJ’s barn to pick up the cart and ask Granny Smith to take care of the little squirts while we did a bit of hard partying!
“And then-”
“Hold on there missy, this is where Ah come in!” Applejack shouts, lassoing the microphone out of RD’s grasp and into her own hooves. “Ah ordered Rainbow here to pull the cart as punishment for her interruptin’ the moment, an’ moved on to the barn ta’ ask Granny if she’d watch over Scootaloo. Ah ran into Applebloom and she confessed the ‘thing’ going on between Scoots an’ Cloudy. Ah was a mite bit worried she may be feelin’ lonely, so Ah told her she could come by anytime she’d like! After that Ah found Granny an’ we worked out a fine deal. We talked a bit about the past, but if ya really want ta’ know what went on, ya'll should check it out fer yourself. That’s pretty much it.”
AJ hoofed off the mic to Coal. “Well, thanks girls, I’m sure our wonderful audience-” Suddenly, the crowd disappeared, as did AJ and RD. Coal fell onto his back and the mic vanished from his hands. No longer was he in a plain on a stage. Everything was black. Dark, cold, black.
