Human in Equestria (very creative, I know)

by Apple Jaskymilton

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Other, Spike, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human
Length: 1681

The Princess goes through her normal morning routine and then "KABOOM!" Magic happens.

Its a normal morning in Canterlot. Celestia is sipping her morning tea and reading her favorite news paper. Suddenly a gigantic bolt of magic inside the her castle shakes the floor for good! A human has arrived. And it seems like a male one. What will our beloved princess have in mind as she attempts to make her new human guest smile? A banana perhaps?

Published 2013-01-15 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-04 08:52:57 UTC

The morning tea (wait! keep reading, some sick stuff is gonna happen, be patient)

It was sunny morning. The day after summer sun celebration was always like this, beautiful and bright. Princess Celestia was sipping her morning tea while reading "News Flash". Suddenly a loud voice of exploding magic which came fro the main hall shook Celestia's tea, and made it spill all over her magazine. "Oh crud." Cursed the princess. Known as the most mingy ruler of all time, she started gently to suck the tea from the paper. It wasn't long after that, when two royal guards rushed to the breakfast room to see if their princess was injured. "We heard the noise! are you okay your highness?" Said a white maned guard. "I'm fine." She answered with a pinch of amusement on her face. "Lets just hurry up and go to the main hall and see what happened.

Everypony had gathered around the castles hall and were now staring at a naked dude. "What happened!? Where am I?! And most importantly, WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!?!?!" Shouted the terrified man. But Celestia was not afraid. "Back off, you fools!" She shouted with the royal voice. "I will personally take care of the intruder, now give the poor fella some room!"

*****Two hours later*****

Celestia was walking with the human in the hallway. At this point he had had got some clothes on. "So, what might be your name?" Said Celestia tenderly with a motherly tone.

"M- my name is Ethan, but... man, wh- what is going on around here! I was just going to go to sleep when suddenly... I was transported here! I mean, I am a brony and all, and I know who you are but... man this is just too grazy. WHAT HAPPENED!? A-am I dead?"

"Thehehee." Laughed Celestia with closed eyes. "You most certainly are not." You are in Equestria, that I can tell, but how you got here, well I'm afraid I haven't got a clue."

That was enough to Ethan. The man burst into tears. He was panicking "I'm gonna die out here! And my friends and family, I will never see them again!"

"There, there, it's okay" said Celestia. She spread her wing to comfort her quest. Slowly Ethan snuggled against her warm, goddess chest. Eyes closed he started to relax more and more, and Celestia felt how he slowly slacked his muscles and got more limp.

It was quiet. Long fifteen minutes passed by.

Deafening silence was crumbled with a massive sound of fart.

"What... was that...?" thought Celestia in her mind. Warm air made its way up to Celestias nose. The smell was smashing, and made her almost puke. "I think he may have... farted." Concluded the princess.

"Prupruuuuuuuut!"

This time the voice was louder, and smellier. Princess Celestia glanced at her guest, but he seemed calm and happy.

"Hmm... so if it can fart, it has a butt, and if he has butt.. hmm... there must be another way to comfort him.."

To be continued...

In the next chapter there's gonna be some screwing

It was midnight. Everyone was asleep. Everyone, except one. Ethan. He had stood up from his bed and was talking by himself in the guest room balcony. "I'm in a world of talking horses. Talking Horses.... talking... hehe... horses..." He kept repeating those words all over again. This went on like forever, or at least that's what it felt like. He was slowly starting to accept his faith. He was starting to realize the good sides of the case. He was calm and cool as ice. physically too, because It was late fall and the temperature was somewhere near ten. But that didn't have effect on him. He just stood there, watching the dark blue clouds, minding his own business. A tear of joy and relief run down his cheek and hit his cold feet. Then he heard a squeak from behind. Quickly he flipped the other way round to spot the guest rooms door being ajar. He stood there silent for a while, monitoring the door. Then he heard voices.

"shhhh! If we attempt on raping it, you must shut the hell up! The sleep spell wont work on awake subjects."

"yeah, I know but... I'm so exited! I haven't raped a human since the last winter."

"Well you won't be raping in the future either if you don't hold your horses now."

That last line sounded familiar. Celestia? Nah, It was impossible. Why would she want to abuse anyone? Rather than sneak into one's room in the middle of the night. She was the most cherishing possible creature he had ever got to known. She hadn't even resented him when he had farted under her wing. The two voices continued whispering. They were now in front of Ethan's empty bed, observing the bunk hesitatingly.

"He's not here!" Shouted Spaaps outraged.

"Oh darn it." Sighed Celestia looking down diagonally. "All I wanted to do was cheer him up with good old butt rape."

"And my asshole is itching for big fat cock!! Shouted Spaaps now furiously.

"For crying out loud! He might still be somewhere around this very room, so would you please, please be so kind and consider the possibility of shutting the fuck up and giving me an eventuality of protecting my immaculate reputation!" Snapped Celestia.

Those last words had came out really fast. Spaaps drop the candle and was now standing still like a statue. Mouth wide open, staring the angry alicorn.

"Okay, sorry. I got carried away" Celestia said apologetically.

Celestia knelt down to kill the fire that had started spreading on the carpet. Suddenly a foot stomped with a thud and suppressed the flame. "you were saying?" said Ethan boldly. Spaaps hid behind celestia. "Oh, you're here..." Struggled Celestia. "How much did you hear?"

"Pretty much everything"

"Well? how's it gonna be? you ever fantasied about having sex with ponies?"

"Yes"

"Would you do me? It might cheer up you and release your plight"

"YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!"

Author's Note

Beware of the fact that instead of calling Spike "Spike" I prefer "Spaaps." The reason I do, is this clip on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEA1Zrs_kRg

Okay the first two chapters sucked! I was aiming somewhere between slice of life and chaotic disharmony. In this chapter I wont be thinking anything. Hopefully this turns out to be better. Let's call this chapter... FUCK YEAH CELESTIA I WANNA CUM INS

"Dont forgot to brush your ass!"

"What?"

"that's right, princess hired me to be your personall analist!"

"Analist?"

"Jeez... Take your pants off already!"

There are no words to discribe the following.

Ethan was lying on his belly on the floor. naked. Collgate was shoving tooth brush deep inside his ass. When the stick reached 8 inches Ethan shouted with satisfaction. "And that's the art of the brush!" Said Collgate while she kept doing what ever she was doing Spaaps joined the horny duo. He flicked Ethen on his side and inserted his dragon butt firmly in front of Ethan's long dick which immediately grew even longer. Then Spaaps pushed it inside his dragonhole (asshole) and made sure it was all in.

Celestia felt dumb just standing apart from the others, and she decided to join. She floated Collgate away with her white aura. Then it was Spaaps turn. She took him to her magical force lock, and tried to whip him off, but he was stuck!

"C'mon, Celestia, cant we share?"

"No... Hnnngg... We... Hummmpffhh... Cant!" Groaned Celestia as Spaaps finally parted from Ethan's dick.

"Enough with this fore play, it's time to get real!" Said Tia.

She pulled Ethan in front of her with her fore hooves. Then she started slowly shove her horn inside his ass. Once it was in, she started repeating this path faster and faster. Ethan yelled at the pleasure and masochistic pain. It went something like this: "AAAAHAAHAAH UHAHAHUHAAAAAA!"

...But Celestia didn't stop. her horn was starting to cover in red- brown mix of shit and blood. Smoke was starting to smog from deep inside the happiest man alive. Collgate tried to squirt some toothpaste in Ethan's (now smoking hot) ass as in order to kill the source of heat. Useless. Luckily Celestia herself noticed what she had caused and stopped immediately what ever it that that she was doing. "Phew, a few more pushes and this subject would've been done for good." she said.

*****

Thy went on and on and on with their sacred rituals. Mostly Celestia appropriating all the fun.

The sun was starting to raise and Ethan was starting to feel exhausted. "Unh.. Can we have a little brake?" He murmured. "Not before I've brushed your teeth!" Said Collgate. "Eww. With THAT toothbrush?" hesitated Ethan "Sure, why not?" Said Collgate while squirting herself with the brush that was already brown of poo.

"But I...!"

It was no use. Collgate stared to brush Ethan's teeth as in she was a mad mare trying to kill somepony with ax. "Allright, that's enough. Time to send him back." Said Celestia. "What, wait!! and now you are saying you could've transport me back earlier?" Worried Ethan.

"To be honest, yes. In fact..." Celesia took Ethan under her wing once again. "...I was the one who brought you here. You see, I was doing my ritual morning routine and I noticed an interesting article in the news paper about humans. Then I remembered an old spell I preformed many years ago and decided to carry it out once more. Then you happened."

"You muthafucka! Sent me back you ass!" Yelled Ethan with wet and angry eyes.

BLOOM! He was gone again. Celestia had done her thing once again.

But Eathan did leave a little souvenir to remember him from. The smell. Celestia facehoofed as she sensed the smell of fart Ethan had left just before vanishing back to his own world.

Fin

Author's Note

Well I'll be damned, looks like there ARE words to discribe this story.