An Unlikely Romance

“Get the hay outta mah sight, RD, and don’t ya dare ever come back.”

Rainbow Dash’s heart pounded in her chest, a cold sweat matting her fur. Those words sent a sharp, icy arrow of agony straight through her heart. Those words, those horrible words, the words she’d been worrying about for months on end. “B-but Applejack,” she pleaded, flapping her wings, “I-I thought we were friends.”

Applejack’s eyes were dark. “Then you were wrong, Rainbow Dash. Ah’d never be friends with a fillyfooler.”

Rainbow Dash whimpered softly, her ears and head drooping. "Applejack, please," she murmured. "Don't do this."

"If you think Ah'm going to listen to a filthy mare like you, you're sadly mistaken, sugarcube." As each word left the farmer's mouth, she grew. Finally she towered far above Dash, glaring down with eyes of flame. The orchard in the background began to melt away, leaving them standing in a plane of pitch black. The only lights were AJ's eyes, flickering and blazing with all the heat of her anger. She leaned down so her face was right above Dash and snarled, "Now, I'll give you three seconds to run. One..." Fangs sprung out from her gums. "Two..." Rainbow Dash tried to move, only to find herself transfixed by the sight before her. "Three!"

And then Applejack lunged.

Rainbow Dash jolted awake, her eyes shooting wide open as her jaws parted in a raspy scream. After several moments she clamped her mouth shut and went limp, flopping onto her soft bed and staring at the colorless cloud ceiling.

“It was a dream,” she told herself, embarrassed that she’d been so terrified. “Nothing but a dumb old dream.”

And yet…

The look in Applejack’s eyes, the venom in her voice as she spat the word “fillyfooler,” brought ice-cold fear to her heart. If her friends found out that she was…that…who was to say they wouldn’t respond like that? Who was to say they’d want to continue being her friend?

“Stupid Rainbow Dash,” she grumbled, rolling off her bed. “They’re your friends. Of course they’ll accept you.”

But…would they really? After all, Applejack’s family was so old-fashioned, it would be more surprising if she did accept Dash. And Twilight had grown up in Canterlot. Rainbow Dash was almost positive that sort of thing didn’t happen there. And Fluttershy…sweet little Fluttershy…well, she’d probably be embarrassed to death by the conversation, no matter how she felt about it. Rarity could go either way. Heck, the only pony Rainbow Dash was almost sure would accept her was Pinkie Pie.

The mare’s ears twitched as she trotted downstairs to grab some breakfast. Why couldn’t she tell Pinkie? The pink party pony would probably be ecstatic for her. She might even want to throw Dash a huge coming out party.

“No!” Rainbow Dash yelped, losing her footing and crashing in a heap at the bottom of the steps. “No, I can’t tell just Pinkie,” she decided finally. “If I’m going to tell any of them, I have to tell all of them. They’re my friends. They’ll support me no matter what.” After a moment of hesitation, she questioned in a shaky voice, “Won’t they?”

The door to Sugarcube Corner flew open, crashing against the wall with a loud bang. Rainbow Dash came stumbling in, her mane frazzled, dark bags gathering beneath her eyes. She swept her gaze around the store before slogging over to the counter and flopping onto one of the chairs.

Immediately Pinkie Pie came racing out of one of the back rooms. She balanced two trays of cupcakes on her hooves, and she was somehow managing to trot on her hind legs. Flour powdered her face. She was wearing a ragged “Kiss the Cook” apron, and in her mouth she held a whisk dripping with more batter.

“Hi, Dashie!” Pinkie exclaimed, tossing the whisk onto the counter. The trays in her hooves wobbled slightly. “What can I do for you?”

Rainbow Dash stared at the ceiling for several long, awkward moments. When she finally turned to Pinkie to answer, her eyes were hollow and blank, as if her thoughts were miles away. “Hi, Pinkie,” she responded, and her voice sounded just as empty as her eyes appeared. “I just thought I’d…thought I’d drop by. To say hi.”

If the pink mare noticed Dash’s absentmindedness, she didn’t say anything. “You already said hi, silly!” She blinked. “Ooh, want a cupcake? They’re fresh, and I made them just for you!”

Sure enough, the cupcakes were frosted with a rainbow-colored icing and adorned with the daredevil’s cutie mark. But in her anxiety Rainbow didn’t even stop to question the fact that she hadn’t even told Pinkie Pie she was going to stop by.

“Okay.”

Still completely oblivious to her friend’s distress, Pinkie scooped up one of the cupcakes and shoved it in Rainbow’s mouth, her eyes wide as she waited for her to finish.

Once she was done, Rainbow Dash resumed staring at the ceiling. Worry gnawed at her heart like an infection. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, so why was it so hard to just open her mouth and let it out? Why was this so difficult? All she had to do was just say it, and everything would be so much easier. She could then be more open with her friends about, well, everything. About which mares she had a crush on, which mares she’d dated in the past…

“Pinkie?” she croaked.

The pink mare was turned around, scrubbing the flour off her face. She hadn’t heard Dash.

Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and spoke again. “Pinkie?”

“Yes, Dashie?”

“Well…you’ll always be my friend, right?”

“Of course! You’ll always be my B.P.F.F.N.M.W.H.E.I.T.W.E.C.Y.A.!”

Rainbow blinked, her confusion clear on her face. “Um…what?”

“Best Pony Friend Forever No Matter What Even If The World Ends ‘Cause You’re Awesome, duh!”

“Oh. Good. That’s a relief.”

“Why do you ask?”

“I…I was just wondering.” Why is this so difficult?

“But you have to have a reason, Dashie! Even I have a reason for most of the stuff I do. Except eating cupcakes, ‘cause you don’t have to have a reason for that because they’re just that good.”

Rainbow Dash squeezed her eyes shut. What the hay, Dash? You’re the fastest flyer in all of Equestria, you’ve beat a few practically immortal gods, and yet you can’t work up the courage to tell your best friend you like mares? Some daredevil you are. Suddenly an idea struck her. If she could somehow turn the conversation to fillyfooling, she’d be able to find out Pinkie’s opinion on it. If she was fine with that sort of thing, it’d make it much easier to tell her. “So…um…Pinkie…did you hear Lyra and Bon Bon are going out?”

Pinkie’s face broke out in a huge grin as she turned around. “Yup! They told me last week. I wanted to throw them a huge party for it, but they said they’d rather not and then I got confused because come on, who wouldn’t want one of my parties? But they said that some ponies didn’t really like mares being with other mares and they didn’t want to have to deal with all that stuff even though I don’t get why ponies wouldn’t like that sort of thing because I mean love is love right so if a mare and a stallion can be together why not a mare and a mare and so I said—”

“Okay, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said, the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I’ve heard enough.” Well, it didn’t take much for my nerves to be completely destroyed.

But the party pony wasn’t finished. She leaned forward so her nose was pressed against Dash’s and widened her eyes, saying softly, “Do you like mares, Dashie?”

Well. The nerves are back. “Uh…” She swallowed and rustled her wings, trying to stall. Her eyes flickered around Sugarcube Corner, hoping desperately that the twins would start crying, or another customer would walk in and ask for some really complicated order, or Discord would escape again and a mutant tarantula would start destroying the town…anything to avoid answering that question. “W-why do you ask?” she finally responded.

Pinkie Pie’s face suddenly grew serious, something that happened only once in a blue moon. “’Cause you’re my friend and you always will be, no matter what. So do you?”

“D-d-do I what?”

“Do you like mares, silly!”

Rainbow Dash’s heart rate skyrocketed. Her stomach began to churn, feeling similar to the time she’d accidentally eaten a two-year-old bagel. But she clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes. I’m Rainbow Dash, she reminded herself. I’ve saved the world plenty of times, I’m the fastest flier in all of Equestria, and I’m not afraid of anything. Not even coming out to my friends. I can do this. I just need to open my mouth and tell her yes, that I do like mares. It’s so simple…

Pinkie pressed her hooves into the other mare’s cheeks, forcing her to look at her. “Dashie, please tell me! I won’t tell anypony!”

“Pinkie Promise,” she whispered without thinking.

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” Pinkie hesitated. “Well, not a strawberry cupcake; those are way too delicious to put in your eye.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Rainbow Dash said in the quietest voice imaginable, “Yes. I do like mares. But please don’t tell anypony…I don’t want to lose any of my friends…”

Without warning, Pinkie threw her arms around her friend, smiling ear to ear. “Your friends wouldn’t leave you just because you like mares, silly! We would never leave you no matter what. But don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul! Wait, but does that mean I can tell it to things without souls? Okay, I won’t tell a living creature! Oh, but what about Madame La Flour and Sir Lintsalot and Rocky and the others? I won’t tell anything in the entire universe and that’s my final offer! Wait…but what about—”

“Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash laughed, wriggling away from the energetic mare. “I get it, don’t worry. But you’re seriously not creeped out or anything? I mean, what about all the times we’ve hugged? And what about all our sleepovers? Don’t all those things seem weird now?”

“You’ve always liked mares, right?”

“Well…yeah, but—”

“Then nothing’s changed about you. If I didn’t think hugging you was weird then, why would I think it’s weird now? And anyway, I’ve hugged Lyra and I’ve hugged Bon Bon even when I knew they liked mares and I didn’t think it was weird. A hug is just a hug!”

“So…you don’t mind that I’m a fillyfooler? Not even the slightest bit?”

“What’s a fillyfooler?”

“Um…a mare that likes mares? Didn’t we just go over this?”

“Ohhh, so that’s what it’s called. Why do you even need to call yourself a fillyfooler? Why can’t you just be Dashie? Just ‘cause I like everypony, do I hafta go around saying, ‘Hi, my name is Pinkie! I’d be fine sleeping with mares or stallions!’ Nope, even though that would be kinda funny. Hey, we should do that for a prank!” Her ear twitched. “Oops, I’m getting off track again. Twilight says I do that a lot, even though I don’t really get what it means. It reminds me of a train. Uh-oh, I just lost my train of thought… Oh, yeah! What I’m saying is, you don’t need to give yourself a label. You’re not a toy, you’re a pony, so why can’t you just be yourself and let the rest take care of itself?”

Rainbow Dash sank back onto her haunches, her eyes huge and her jaw sagging. “Pinkie, but that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said. How do you know all that stuff?”

“Didn’t you just hear me say it? I like mares and stallions. When I was just a little Twinkie Pinkie, I asked my Granny Pie about it, and she told me that stuff I just said. She was really smart about that kind of thing.”

“You…you’re the best friend a pony could ask for,” Rainbow Dash said, her face lighting up with a smile for the first time in what seemed like forever. “Thanks for telling me this, Pinkie Pie.”

“Any time! Are you gonna order something else besides the cupcakes I made you, or can I go help Mr. and Mrs. Cake in the kitchen now? It’s Thunderlane’s birthday today, so we’re making him a huge multi-layer cake!”

Rainbow Dash smiled and shook her head, her wings spreading and flapping a few times. “No, I already ate. Well, thanks for the talk, but I have to go practice some of my moves. See ya, Pinkie!”

“See ya, Dashie!”

It had been three weeks since Dash had told Pinkie Pie her secret, and she felt like she was on top of the world. Since then, the two friends had gone to the park several times, watching the ponies that walked by and picking out the hot ones. Once, without realizing it, Rainbow Dash had commented that a unicorn that was passing was the hottest she’d seen so far. The unicorn had looked around, hearing what she had said, and it was none other than Rarity. Rainbow Dash had never felt so embarrassed in her life. She had no clue why she hadn't seen who it was at first. After all, they saw each other almost every week. And how many unicorns were white with a triple-diamond cutie mark? How many unicorns had a perfectly-styled mane like hers? How could she have missed it? Eventually, after pondering over it for as long as she possibly could without going mad, Dash had just shrugged and dismissed it as just another one of the world's mysteries. Luckily for her, Rarity hadn’t noticed her and Pinkie.

Other than that one close call, Rainbow Dash felt like she was doing a pretty good job keeping her secret safe. Half of her was glad that her friends didn’t know, but the other half wished she could tell them. Then she would be able to be more open with them, and, whenever she had a crush, she’d actually be able to tell them about the mare instead of just saying, “Romance isn’t really my thing.”

But at least she had Pinkie Pie to talk to. Some of the mares that Dash had liked at one point or another, Pinkie admitted to liking, too.

Now, Rarity had invited everypony to her house for a sleepover. Rainbow Dash had stopped by Sugarcube Corner to pick up some sweets for all of them, and she and Pinkie were headed to the Boutique with their sleeping bags.

“I can’t wait!” Pinkie chirped, bouncing alongside the pegasus. “We’re going to have so much fun and stay up until the morning and tell ghost stories and play Truth or Dare and maybe we’ll have a pillow fight and oh no wait Rarity wouldn’t like that because it’s her house and she probably just has fancy pillows that aren’t good for pillow fights and…” She trailed off, squeeing. “This is going to be so much fun!”

“Yeah,” Rainbow agreed halfheartedly. Truth be told, she’d been avoiding her other friends like the plague for the past few weeks. After spending all that time talking with Pinkie Pie about mares, she didn’t trust herself not to let something slip. And she still wasn’t sure how the others would react if they found out she was a fillyfooler. Now, at the sleepover, there was no way to avoid talking with them.

Pinkie stopped jumping and raced in front of RD, forcing her to look her in the eye. “Don’t be all saddy-waddy, Dashie! There’s plenty of time for sulking later, but not at the sleepover. Sleepovers are a time for fun, not sitting in the corner looking sad!”

“Okay.”

“No, that’s not enough. Pinkie Promise you won’t be saddy-waddy at the party!”

“Pinkie, that’s not necess—”

Her eyes narrowed as she leaned forward. “Pinkie Promise!”

“…Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye…”

“Good! Now we can go have some fun!” She stepped back. After a moment a mischievous smile spread across her face. “Hey, Dashie?”

“Yeah?”

“Race you there!” Before she had even finished talking she was off, her mane bobbing around and her hooves barely touching the ground.

Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped. “No fair,” she grumbled, leaping into the air to fly after her. Her wings pumped faster and faster, yet still Pinkie managed to defy all physics and stay ahead of her. Frustration boiled in the cyan mare’s chest. She ignored it, though, trying to focus only on the race.

If they find out, they will hate you, she thought. They’ll never talk to you again.

A familiar tension formed in the air around her.

Stupid, stupid Dash. Focus on the race, you disgusting fillyfooler! You can’t let Pinkie beat you. You’re the fastest pony alive! Or…are you? After all, if a simple earth pony is way ahead of you, how can you possibly be that fast?

A glimmering cone began to shape around her, and she flew even faster, gritting her teeth in anger.

You’re a fraud. You’re just a slow, out-of-shape, sick fillyfooler. You’ll never amount to anything. Damn it, Dash, FOCUS ON THE RACE! She shook her head furiously as if to shake off the bad thoughts. Why did she have to do this now, of all times, and here, of all places? Why couldn't her mind just leave her alone? Because without me to put you in your place, she told herself, who knows what you'd do? Every other time, she or another pony had ended up wounded. Uh-oh, she thought suddenly, her eyes growing wide.

Rainbow Dash screamed as a polychromatic explosion shook the air. She darted past Pinkie, crashing headfirst into a nearby tree. The tree trembled once and toppled down, breaking into a collection of branches and lumber.

“Dashie! That was amazing!” Pinkie shouted, hurrying over. “You did a Sonic Rainboom! Can you believe it? Oh, wow, there’s a crater where it happened!”

“Oooh,” came the pained response. “My everything hurts…”

Pinkie opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a loud call.

“What in the hay happened here?” Applejack hollered, standing many yards away at the crater. “What was that explosion, an’ why’s RD lookin’ all injured like that?”

“You missed it! Dashie did a Sonic Rainboom, and it was AWESOME, but then she accidentally broke this tree! She says her everything hurts.” Pinkie frowned. “I think she should get that checked.”

“Okay, that raises a ton of more questions. Why’d she hafta go an’ do a Sonic Rainboom?”

“We were racing and I was winning and I guess she didn’t like that so she did that and then she got hurt.” Her brow furrowed as she looked down at Dash again. “You won, Dashie,” she added, as if that would help ease the mare's pain.

Rainbow Dash just continued groaning.

Applejack trotted over to her, staring down with her confusion clear on her face. “Y’know, we should probably get some help.”

That got Rainbow Dash’s attention. Her eyes flew open and she stumbled to her hooves, shaking herself off like a dog. “Nah, I-I’m fine,” she lied. Truth be told, her leg ached like crazy. But she wasn't about to tell them that. She'd had too many bad experiences in hospitals to risk going to one again. Sure, that one time she'd broken her wing she'd been shacked up in one, but she hadn't had a choice. She'd passed out the second she hit the ground, and her friends weren't about to just let her go without immediate medical care. “H-honest. S-s-see? I’m n-not hurt.” Suddenly she felt something sticky on her flank and turned to see a bunch of smashed cupcakes smeared all over her cutie mark. “C-can’t say the same for these, though. I guess I was still holding them when I did the Sonic Rainboom. N-nopony else got h-hurt, right?”

“Nope. It did leave a pretty big crater, though. Y’all are probably gonna hafta pay to fix it.”

“Horseapples. Pinkie, y-you have our sleeping bags, right?”

The pink mare pulled the two bags seemingly out of nowhere and held them up with a huge grin.

“Good. Can you b-bring them over to Rarity’s and t-tell her I’ll be right there? I-I might t-take a while.”

Before you could even say “cupcakes” Pinkie was off, the sleeping bags stacked up on her back.

Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a concerned look. “Are you sure you’re all right, sugarcube? That looked like a pretty nasty crash. If you’re hurt, just say so, and we can be on our way to Ponyville Hospital.”

“I-I’m okay, just kinda shaken up,” she said, trying to hide her limp. “I didn’t think I was actually going to do a Sonic Rainboom. It came out of nowhere.” She didn’t tell Applejack the real reason she was shaken up. Why had she been arguing with herself? Why had she said those cruel things about herself? Did she really think she was that worthless? Of course not. She was Rainbow Dash, for crying out loud. She was known for having an ego large enough to put any narcissist to shame. There was no way she thought those things about herself. “A-anyway, Rarity’s probably waiting for us. We should get going.”

The farmer seemed unconvinced. “Sugarcube, you’re way more than shaken up. You’re lookin’ more skittish than a foal that’s just eaten fifty pounds of Pinkie Pie’s double stuffed fudge cookies,” she commented, raising her eyebrows. “If you don’t want to tell me what’s got ya so upset, that’s mighty fine, but Ah’m here for you, no matter what.”

“No matter what?” Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but remember the dream she’d had all those nights ago, when Applejack had practically sworn she’d never speak to her again. What if that dream came true? What would happen then?

“No matter what.”

“You’re just saying that,” she argued. “It’s really easy to say you’ll be here no matter what—trust me, I know—but it’s a lot harder to actually mean it. What if I was a changeling this whole time? You wouldn’t be my friend anymore.”

“Yes, Ah would. If you were a changeling this whole time, obviously you’d still have the same personality. You’d still be Rainbow Dash; you’d just be a different species than we thought before.”

“Okay, but what if I had killed somepony? I know for a fact you’d never talk to me ever again.”

“Sure, Ah’d be disappointed in you, but Ah’d still be your friend. You’d still be the same Rainbow Dash. You’d probably go to jail, and the only way Ah’d ever see you would be during visitin’ hours, but you’d still be mah best friend. Or…well…one of ‘em, anyway.” Applejack jabbed a hoof into Dash's ribs. “Look, Rainbow, the point is, you’ll always be mah friend, no matter what—and Ah mean that. So what’s on your mind? Does it have somethin’ to do with why you’ve been avoidin’ all of us for the past few weeks?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened. “Whoa. How’d you know?”

“Ah don’t know. Logic, Ah suppose. So, are ya gonna tell me, or are ya gonna keep me in the dark about whatever it is?”

I have to tell her. She stopped in her tracks and twisted her head toward the orange mare, her wings quivering with nerves. She’s right. We’re best friends, and we’ll always stay that way, no matter what. It’s not right to keep this from her. “I…” Her voice trembled and shook like a branch during a thunderstorm. “W-well, did y-you know that Lyra and B-Bon Bon are d-dating?”

“Of course Ah did. Everyone in town knows by now.”

“Wh-what do you think of that?” She hoped Applejack couldn’t tell how nervous she was. Whatever AJ said now would change everything.

Applejack pondered this for a moment, straightening her Stetson hat. “To be honest,” she began, and paused. “Well, to be honest, Ah don’t much understand how a mare can like another mare.” Noticing Dash’s crestfallen look, she quickly added, “But that don’t mean Ah won’t support them. They’re mah friends, too, and just ‘cause Ah don’t understand something doesn’t mean it ain’t right. If they’re sweet on each other, that’s great, and Ah hope it works out for them, even if Ah don’t like mares myself. Does that answer your question?”

Rainbow Dash felt a wave of relief wash over her, coursing through her to the ends of her hooves. Her wings relaxed and she sighed, beginning to smile. In her relief she forgot about her injured leg, though, and barely kept herself from stumbling. “That’s good to hear. So…what if one of our friends was a…a fillyfooler?”

It was obvious by now that Applejack understood what Dash was hinting at. She gave a sly smile and nudged the pegasus with her shoulder. “Ah’d love them and support them all the same. As a friend, of course. Like Ah said before, we’ll be best friends, no matter what.” Rainbow Dash would’ve been fine if the farmer stopped talking now, but she just kept on going, a teasing tone forming in her voice. “Why? You talkin’ about anyone in particular?”

“Applejack, please don’t make me say it…”

“Think of it as practice for when you tell the others, sugarcube.”

Her wings began to quiver again. A lump formed in her throat. “I-I’m a…I like…you see, the th-thing is…Applejack, please! You already know, just please don’t make me say it!”

Applejack’s smile dropped and her brow furrowed. “Ah’m sorry, Rainbow, Ah didn’t know it made you this nervous. The only other time Ah’ve seen you act this jittery was at the Best Young Flyer’s Competition. Okay, you don’t hafta say it if you don’t want to. But Ah want you to know Ah don’t think any different of you because of this.”

“That’s great, but…isn’t your family really old-fashioned?”

The faintest hint of annoyance flickered across her face. “Oh, not this again. Why does everypony think that just because mah family’s really old-fashioned, we’re a bunch of narrow-minded, homophobic idiots? Of all the… All Ah’m sayin’ is, it’s a bit annoyin’ when everyone thinks we condemn all coltcuddlers and fillyfoolers. Hay, you wouldn’t guess it, but Big Macintosh swings both ways. Now why on earth would we hate coltcuddlers if one of our kin was one? Besides, there ain’t anything wrong with it. Love is love.” She blinked twice. “Oh. Sorry, Dash, Ah got a bit off track there. What were we saying?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Nothing important,” she said sarcastically. Then she laughed. “Wow. I already told Pinkie, but it’s great to be able to tell somepony else about this whole fillyfooling stuff.”

“Is that why you’ve only been hanging with her for the past three weeks?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Another laugh escaped her lips. “Anyway, I know for a fact that Rarity will be waiting for us. We should probably get going, don’t you think?”

“Yeah. Ah can just imagine her face when we walk in half an hour late.”

“Oh, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, it’s okay to be fashionably late, but honestly, dears, half an hour? Do you know how many things could get done in half an hour?” Rainbow Dash mocked, making her voice as high pitched as their girly friend’s. “On the bright side, though, we probably missed the makeover part of the sleepover.”

Laughing hysterically, the two friends made their way toward Carousel Boutique, not even looking back toward the humongous crater and destroyed tree. Though Rainbow Dash felt much better after revealing her secret to Applejack, there was still a twinge of dread in her heart. She had a bad feeling that this particular sleepover would turn into a disaster, and she was not eager to find out just how it would be done.