Far Cry: The Elements of Insanity

by Viper9172

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Romance, Comedy
Length: 8902

When Jason and his friends are stranded on an unknown continent they find that violence just may be the only answer to most questions.

-Cancelled-

"My name is Jason Brody and…I don't know. I don't know how we got here, the compass told us we were going the right direction! This…continent appeared out of no where and we crashed. Liza is hurt and needs medical attention, I have her bandaged but she'll need surgery! I've been seeing weird things too. Wolves made of wood, and fucking Manticores?! We need help! Please, if anyone is hearing this, send help!" A single message, this message, echoed through the land and found but one listener.

And boy, was he ecstatic to hear it.

(Please note that in this timeline Vaas escaped instead of getting killed)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-02 04:24:08 UTC

Goodbye Rook, Hello...Here.

The boat was silent, the only sound that could be heard was the stutter of the engine as it left the warm shores of Rook for the last time. Riley and Oliver were watching something on Riley's recovered video-phone, Daisy was tinkering with the rattling engine, and Keith and Liza were at the helm. Jason had kept some of the weapons he had earned on the island with the intent to sell them we he got home. He had the Bushman, Shadow, Shredder and his customized Z93 in a trunk at the back of the boat. His Tanto stayed at his hip though, he liked the design and planned to keep it as a souvenir of sorts.

His eyes traced over the Tatau that now covered his entire forearm. He never really questioned it before, but now that there was time, he wondered how the new additions even got there. Every once in a while after doing something big a new mark would just sear itself onto his arm. Magic? Nah, probably some chemicals or something. The times where Citra lead Jason on The Path where just educed by drugs. His absent gaze traveled over his hand and to where his ring-finger used to be.

"Fucking Hoyt..." He murmured. If only Vaas had been so easy. Vaas just stabbed Jason and ran off. Jason closed his eyes briefly and sighed. He wondered if things would ever go back to normal when they got home. Or if that was even possible. Just take a deep breath, get a soda from the kitchen and sit down to some South Park or Family Guy or whatever? He laughed at the thought. He couldn't, no matter how much time would pass, forget this last couple weeks.

He was a monster, a murderer, a beast, and he knew that. He knew, and he had the anger inside of him, always had. It was still there too. Just biding it's time. He was a killer...a legend, a true Rakyat Warrior. This anger fueled him all the way through Rook and he would never, ever let it go. He couldn't. It became him, it was him and he was it. He needed it. Without he was nothing. He sighed and swallowed hard before leaning off of the rail.

He stood, for a moment, just listening to what was around him.

"...And Rainbow Dash...Pinkie..."

"So what did he do?"

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"Hey, Jason, could you grab me a monkey wrench?"

"Jason?"

"Hello? Earth to Jason?"

Jason shook his head before turning to Daisy.

"I'm sorry, what did you need?" He asked the blond women.

"Could you pass me that monkey wrench? I need to tighten the bolts to the belt track." Daisy held her hand out. Jason nodded softly and grasped the metal tool sitting on the table. He handed it to Daisy and she went back to her work. He took a seat at the back of the boat and pulled Shadow, his customized M1911, out of the box and gazed over it. How many men had he killed? How many families had he torn apart? How many lives had he torn from people? It was easy not to think about when he doing it, but now...it was too much. Was it worth it? Of course it was.

He could have just fled the island in the first boat he found, but he didn't, he had to find his friends, and he did. He never gave up and would do the same ten times over again. He tightened the silencer and looked down the sights. How would he explain this to his parents?

'Hi mom, hi dad, sorry we're seven weeks late home and missing Grant? We were only held prisoner by a fucking psychopath and nearly killed on numerous occasions.' No, that wouldn't work. He would probably make some excuse like their flights kept getting delayed or something. No, Vaas and Hoyt both contacted their parents to try for ransom, they knew. But Jason's parents didn't know about what he had to do time and time again. He couldn't hide that from them, he'd have to tell them up front.

But how? 'Hey mom, dad, I sliced, blasted, blew up, and downright murdered hundreds of people. What's for dinner?' He'd have to think about that later. He was tired and desperately needed some sleep. He placed Shadow back into the trunk and locked it before heading inside the boat and plopping down on one of the dingy hammocks that littered the walls.

~The Next Morning~

"Aha, Jason! So good to see you again!" Jason was awoken by a familiar fast-paced accented voice.

"Tell me, did you think you just get rid of me so easily? Because if you did YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN!" Jason shot up and found he was staring down the barrel of a .44 held by none other than Vaas.

"They're all dead now, you know. Your friends, I mean. They even tried to fight back! The trunk at the back with your guns. It was locked and they couldn't get in! Ahaha! I castrated your brother before shooting him. His squeals were just hilarious. Oh and I personally had the two girls, what were their names? Liza and Flower or something fucking stupid like that. I had them raped and burned alive." Vaas explained with that omnipresent sadistic grin of his. Jason noticed him pull the hammer back.

"But I must say, getting my bitch sister killed? Fucking brilliant! I must thank you for that. Now, if you'd please, we've set up a little show for you! Please, to the deck. I said GET THE FUCK UP!" Vaas smacked Jason hard across the face with the barrel of his pistol. Jason clambered out of the hammock and was followed at gunpoint by Vaas to the deck. There, covered in blood, sat Oliver and Keith tied back-to-back.

"Light 'em up, boys!" Vaas cheered. Two pirates poured a large amount of gasoline over the two and another lit and tossed a match in the resulting puddle. Jason watched in shock and horror as their skin flaked and crackled, and their hair and clothes burned away while they kicked and struggled to get away to no avail. They screamed and Jason screamed with them. He couldn't do anything this time. He didn't have anything with him, no guns, no knives, anything.

"What's wrong Jason? Look at me. What's wrong?" Vaas repeatedly asked.

"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG?" Jason was knocked to the ground after taking a gruesome elbow to the temple.

"ANSWER ME! ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION JASON!" Vaas kicked at Jason's face mercilessly, landing hit after hit.

"ARE YOU FUCKING ENJOYING THIS? IF YOU DON'T FUCKING ANSWER ME IN THREE SECONDS I'M GOING TO PUT A FUCKING BULLET IN YOUR DAMN HEAD!" Vaas landed one last vicious kick before pointing the .44 at Jason's beaten and bloodied face.

"ONE!" Vaas pulled back the hammer again.

"TWO!" He placed the barrel to Jason's temple.

"Please no! P-please!" Jason begged, finally catching his breath.

"I'll do anything! Just don't kill me!" He added. Vaas removed the barrel from Jason's temple.

"Good, you answered. It wasn't a relevant answer at all but I'll let it slide. I won't kill you." Vaas clapped.

"Oh thank go-" Jason was kicked again.

"Do NOT interrupt me! I won't kill you, but I'll still shoot you." Vaas laughed before firing once into Jason's knee. Jason screamed as the searing pain washed over him.

"Ah what the hell. Just to make sure you won't come after me again..." Vaas stomped on Jason's injured knee once before placing the barrel on his forehead again.

"Sleep well, hermano." Jason flinched before it all went dark.

And then he woke up.

His eyes shot open with a gasp. He clutched his chest and sat up. It all felt so real, the pain, the smell of gas and blood. The room was empty at the moment, the others were probably already up and about. He changed clothes before heading up to the deck.

"Jason! Could I talk to you for a minute?" Jason turned to see Liza walking up to him.

"Oh..yeah, sure." Jason shrugged. He followed Liza back to the cabin.

"Riley said he would take care of the boat while we slept, like make sure we kept on course. When I asked him what happened he said that he saw lights and steered towards them. After a while he said that the boat started steering itself, like something had it. I think he's going crazy. What should we do?" Liza explained.

"Where are we?" Jason asked.

"That's just it, I checked the GPS and we're near a continent I can't even recognize! It's like that 'Pangaea' we were taught about in science except much bigger." Liza then showed Jason the mobile GPS.

"I'll go talk to him. Just...don't worry about it for now." Jason went back up to the deck after putting the GPS away. He spotted Riley at the helm and went to go speak with him about what happened. He climbed the stairs and tapped his brother on the shoulder.

"Riley, Liza said you went off course?" Jason started.

"I thought we were near a city or something." Riley admitted. He notched up the throttle a little.

"But the lights and the boat thing isn't everything. There was a man on the boat last night. He wore a patched-suit and was talking nonsense. He asked what I was doing and I told him we were trying to get home. After that he just...poofed away. I don't know how we got here. We're in the middle of the ocean heading who-knows-where and-"

"GET DOWN!" Jason tackled Riley to the ground as a green beam passed over-head. Another beam struck the hull and exploded.

"What the fuck was that?!" Riley shouted. Jason watched in confusion as Riley pulled out a plain 6P9 from a small duffel-bag.

"Where did you get a gun?" Jason asked.

"The man in the patched-suit gave it to me!" Riley pulled the slide back.

"Cover me while I get to my trunk. I have my guns in it." Jason ordered.

"I'll try." Riley shook his head violently before popping up and firing multiple times. Jason lunged over a guard rail and slid behind a large rail seconds before a beam hit where he would of been.

"Oh FUCK!" Jason heard Riley shout. He fired again and Jason moved. He could see the trunk.

"Jason! What's going on?!" Daisy screamed.

"We're being attacked, don't ask who, I have no fucking clue." Jason grabbed the trunk and began to drag it behind cover. Once he was clear he smashed the lock off with the butt of his Tanto. The lock shattered and Jason reached inside. He pulled out the Z93 and climbed to the top of the boat. Looking down the scope, he spotted what was shooting the beams. It looked to be some sort of improved stone AA-Cannons. Jason noticed something that seemed like someone's head and fired at it. Blood and...feathers? splattered in all directions.

No time to question it. He fired until he emptied the magazine. He reloaded but was soon frozen in place.

"Jason, the man! The suited man is here!" He heard Riley shout. His struggles were fruitless; it was like someone was holding him in place. He could see the suited-man by Riley wave his hand at the cannons and a large explosion followed it. It was as if the man himself caused it. He could move again after the man disappeared. It was weird, but there was no time to question it. He strapped on all the holsters, bags, and containers he had worn while at Rook, after putting the Privateer uniform back on. It gave marginal resistance to projectiles at least. Next came the Wingsuit. Within seconds he was back in his 'normal' attire. His holsters were now filled by his weapons and his Tanto stuck to his belt.

The cannons had stopped, were they clear? Jason could only hope so.

~30 minutes later~

All was calm once more. They had found, er, crashed, into land a little while back and were assessing damages.

"Fuck...no no no!" Jason pried away some charred metal and found Liza impaled on a thick metal rod. Jason found that the rusted base of the rod was easy to break due to years of being eroded. He hefted Liza's unconscious form from the rubble and set her down inside the makeshift camp they'd improvised. He had some medical experience fixing himself up on Rook and was able to quickly improvise a tourniquet with the left sleeve of his outfit. There seemed to be some form of Arrowroot and Screwpine trees around that he could harvest.

After a salve was applied to the wound Jason went to go make sure everyone else was okay. Daisy had, of course, found her tools and began work on the boat again. Oliver and Riley were doing their own thing. But Keith was...Keith. Jason tightened Liza's tourniquet once more before heading over to the jarred man.

"Keith? You okay?" Jason asked, he could have sworn Keith jumped six feet.

"S-sorry, I'm just nervous. I can't calm down." Keith rubbed his arm.

"There's no need to be worried, I'm going to keep you all safe. I promise." Jason put his hand on on Keith's shoulder which caused him to jump again.

"Buck really messed with you, didn't he?" Jason sighed.

"I don't want to talk about Buck. Ever. Just drop it." Keith snarled before quivering. Jason sighed again and left Keith to his business.

"I'll be back in a couple hours, I'm going hunting. Riley, shoot ANYONE that isn't me if you think they'll cause harm." Jason ordered sternly, Riley nodded and checked his pistol. Jason jungle-ran his way through the bushes, the tatau had given him impeccable stealth skills. He mentally marked landmarks near himself and had to stop himself from going to look for relics.

After about twenty minutes he found some deer grazing by a stream that hadn't taken notice of him. Without missing a beat he drew The Bushman and nearly took off each of their heads. He gutted and stripped the good meat off of the carcasses as quickly as ever. A deep breath told him something smelled. Bad. Jason scrunched and covered his nose with a cough.

*Creeeeaaak*

"What the hell was that?" Jason asked himself. It sounded like a wooden joint under pressure. He poked his head up and was meet face-to-mouth by a wolf. Almost instinctively Jason slammed a hard hook into the side of the beast's head and fired a stream of bullets into into it's side. Instead of being splashed by blood he was being hailed by splinters, like shooting a log. He stopped shooting long enough to see what he was shooting and found just that, a wooden wolf. Someone had placed a decoy to distract him!

Nope.

No they didn't. It was easy to tell because about thirty more live wooden wolves were howling after him.

"Oh shit, fuck!" Jason cursed viciously as he swung the Tanto at the massed group of wooden creatures.

"Do I have one?!" Jason patted his waist and found what he was looking for, albeit he only had one. A grenade. He jumped back, pulled the pin, and tossed the metal ball into the snarling timber-pile.

Tick.

Tick.

Boom.

Wood flew in all directions, embers lit the grass and flowers, and it seemed like it was over.

"Oh, you have got to be FUCKING kidding me!" Jason shouted when he noticed all the wood pieces drifting together to form an enormous wolf.

"It's coming from over here!" Jason heard someone call from behind the wolf. He decided to just let this be their problem. When the mega-wolf was distracted he dove into a deep ditch behind him and quietly started making his way back to the camp.

~~~

Jason threw a sheet of metal on some stilts over the fire and threw the deer-meat on. Everyone sat around the fire in silence.

"Guys, I had a run in with something weird." Jason started.

"What was it?" Each of them asked.

"Wooden wolves. Not like hunting decoys, they were alive. I blew them all apart with a grenade but the grew together into some giant fucking wood-wolf!" Jason explained seriously.

"Wooden wolves?" Riley turned to Oliver

"You don't think?" Oliver whispered.

"Timberwolves?" They simultaneously.

"The hell is a Timberwolf?" Jason asked the two men.

"A wooden wolf!" Riley repeated. Jason pushed and flipped the meal around on the improvised grill while he listened.

~Two hours later~

They all ate and Jason fed Liza shredded pieces of the deer. He wasn't an expert at telling time by the sun or the moon or like that, but he was guessing it was around nine at night. Jason looked around once more before ordering lights out. Riley smothered the fire and crawled into the tent the had made in the damaged hull of the boat. They decided, well, Jason insisted, that Jason would take watch-duty while they slept.

"Sleep easy guys, I'll be here." Jason said to himself. Little did he know he would soon find an old enemy that missed him so dearly.

A Statue? How About No.

'That fucking BITCH!' Vaas swore mentally, it was all he could do seeing how his current state was, erm, less than free.

'She thinks some fucking rocks can hold ME? AH! FUCK! DAMMIT! Okay...maybe they can.' Vaas had sight at least, and he could see a group of ponies walking up to him. They look interested, especially the small ones.

"This one doesn't look like a draconequus! What is it?" A small one with a bow asked a bigger one.

"We don't really know actually, Celestia just told us to think of it as a dumb, evolved ape." The bigger, wine-colored one explained.

'I'll show her a fucking dumb ape. Right up her fucking frilly ass.' Vaas mentally glared.

"It looks mean..." A white one with a horn admitted.

'Fuck you.'

"Oh it is. It bursts into the castle drenched in blood and clutching it's evil blade to a pony's neck and demands someone give him all the money in the castle. So Celestia, after moving the pony out of his grasp, turned him to stone then and there! This happened maybe two months ago." The bigger pony explained with a laugh at the end.

"To think something so dumb would make a demand to the PRINCESS?" It laughed again. Harder. Mocking Vaas. If he were free the damn fucking shit-rat would already be dead. And everyone else would too. Vaas was made, pissed, enraged. Mad enough to where if he could, he would tear Satan a new asshole over and over again. He must have mustered enough energy to move some part of his frozen form, causing one of the small things to scream. It was a pink one with a white-pink hair-color.

"It moved! It moved! I swear it moved! It's glaring at you, Ms. Cheerilee!" It screamed. Sure enough, the statue-head was turned to give a furious glare to the purple pony.

'I moved? Fucking great! How?'

"I'm sure it was always like that, such a dumb expression." The pony laughed again.

'FUCK YOU!'

"It moved again! It's trying to grab you!" The small pony screamed again. Cheerliee turned, rolled her eyes, and promptly screamed when she saw the statue's out-stretched arm making a grab at her.

"Sweet Celestia!" The big one screamed.

"Girls, we're leaving NOW!" It grabbed all the small ones in a cartoon-ish manor and bolted away from Vaas.

'RUN FORREST! RUN!' Vaas laughed sinisterly. He loved that line.

'That was amusing. Now how the fuck do I move?' Vaas strained hard against the immobility that plagued him. He pulled, pushed, bashed, and struggled until he could no longer. The way this spell works is that, in the receiver's eyes, they are taken to a blank, dark space with a single large window to look out of. They can move around in the space, albeit if not very far. If the receiver has the ability they have the option to conjure things to keep them company or occupied. That was about it.

'Come on Vaas, you're king! Get mad, you're strong when you're mad!' He cheered himself on.

'Puppies, kittens, cute things, nuns...Citra.' He listed off things that pissed him off to no end to try and make himself furious.

'Those brain-dead fucking Rakyat Warriors, Rodgers, Hoyt...!' He could feel himself starting to move! It was working!

'What else! What the fuck else!' One last, single thought crossed his mind before he reached a wall.

'JASON FUCKING BRODY!' He suddenly could see normally again, the emptiness was gone and it seemed normal again. He was able to drag a free, well, free-er arm over to his other and began pounding on the weakening stone that encased him, it began to crack and crumble away when another tour group turned the corner.

"And here we have the infamous ape that attacked Canterlot some time ago. The thing about it is-" Vaas interrupted the pony.

"I AM NOT A FUCKING MONKEY!" He roared, the remaining stone exploded away. He was free! The tour-group scattered and Vaas retrieved his gruesome machete from the display case beside him.

"It's free! Get reinforcements!" He heard orders, he didn't like orders. Using his spry and agile ability to climb on top of the hedges he waited for the two armored ponies to get directly below him before dropping down and forcing the machete into one's head while goomba-stomping the other's. He yanked the machete free and laughed when the helmet came up with it. He turned and spotted maybe twenty of the ponies.

"What is this shit made of? Fucking Tin?" He swung the machete in the air and sent the ruined helmet shooting towards a pony at what must have been mach-speed. He heard a satisfying crunch and the pony fell limp. He made it crack the things fucking skull open! This caused the ponies to charge instantly, when they were close enough Vaas swung the machete at the mass and must have taken down two or three. In seconds their numbers are halved, so much for top guards, eh? Vaas finishes the last troop with an especially vicious chop, resulting in they poor pony's head being cleaved in two.

He knew it would be too risky to try and get vengeance on that fucking sun bitch right now, she could easily turn him back again. He wiped the blood off of his blade on the hide of one of the massacred beasts and sprinted away, he hated running from a fight, but he liked living. A lot.

~~~

And that's how he made it to where he is now, the Gryphon Mountains. They've been at war with Equestria for the last couple years now, and Vaas wanted every chance he could get to strike at that fucking sun slut. Currently, he held the title of most vicious, ruthless, and dangerous creature in all of the Mountains. He patched together a radio system for the gryphons using the surprisingly powerful mental ability he had. If he wanted to, he could move the entire planet ahead two hundred years using the knowledge he had.

He sat at his desk and listened to the piece of scrap-metal when he caught it. A stray SOS message.

"My name is Jason Brody and...I don't know. I don't know how we got here, the compass told us we were going the right direction! This...continent appeared out of no where and we crashed. Liza is hurt and needs medical attention, I have her bandaged but she'll need surgery! I've been seeing weird things too. Wolves made of wood, and fucking Manticores?! We need help! Please, if anyone is hearing this, send help!" It played. Oh, this is just great, the very person he wished to watch be disemboweled, tortured, and murdered just happened to be stranded without equipment?

This was going to be fun.

Please God Tell Me This Isn't Real

"What the hay was that?!" Lyra was shaken, as well as the rest of the room, by a very loud, very close explosion. Ever since she'd moved into this new house with her best-friend Bon-Bon they're had been nothing but odd noises and unexplainable events.

Along with an infestation of Timber-wolves, the house had also come with half-priced rent, that should have told her something was up. She had invited her friends for a weekend sleep-over as a house-warming event, it was Vinyl, Ditzy, and Bon-Bon that occupied the room with her. They were playing an intense game of 'Would-You-Rather' and had Ditzy in a fuss over the two choices she was given. The question was 'Would you rather win the lottery or have a life-time's supply of your favorite meal?'.

Lyra heard a rabid pounding at her door and trotted towards it, she opened it and saw Twilight Sparkle, the town's librarian, looking quite shaken.

"Lyra! I think someone is hurt, I may need some help getting them out of the forest, can you come help?" She asked. Lyra, being the kind and thoughtful mare she is, nodded without second thought. Outside of her social-circle, this was the most social time she'd had with someone in a couple months. She had the unfortunate luck of being branded 'Looney Lyra' because she enjoyed mythology about humans and things of that nature, the kind of things mothers would scare their foals into doing their homework or eating their food with.

They left the house galloping, Bon-Bon was at her rear with Vinyl at her side and Octavia trailing behind, she wasn't one for running long distances. Within minutes they neared where they thought the sounds had originated from and were starting to hear odd noises.

"It's coming from over here!" Twilight pointed out. Lyra could see some light movement coming from a scorched clearing ahead. When they neared, they spotted a rather unsettling sight; a twenty three and a half foot tall megaladon of a Timber Wolf!

"By Celestia's golden-plated personal massager!" Vinyl swore. Lyra could be sure Vinyl would be getting a firm tongue lashing from Octavia later for such language. Or at least whatever that crazy mare called a tongue lashing, yeah they're is screaming but it happens in another room and when they leave Lyra has to wash their sheets. Weirdest arguments ever.

Lyra conjured up her most powerful magic and sent it at the Colossus, being the small framed mare she is, all that happened was the beast recoiling slightly. Twilight did the very same, albeit her mana is of the purple hues, and sent the beast back several feet. Lyra couldn't help but notice Twilight's stance, it was one of concentration and well-placed footing. Wouldn't want the kick to knock you back instead, would you? As far as she knew, her own stance could be most likely described as lanky and tense.

The better your stance, the more powerful your output is what all unicorns are taught in school; Always stay on the ground, lean in, spread out a bit, and stay calm. Also known as A.L.S.A.

Twilight hit it again and managed to blow off one of it's legs, by now she was drenched in sweat. Her mane clung to her head and her breath left ragged. At this rate she wouldn't last another two minutes. Luckily, the Colossus seemed to show some sign of true thought and hobbled away pleadingly while Twilight was catching her breath.

"That was awesome!" Vinyl cheered, letting Twilight lean on her for support. The sun had largely began to set my now, sending a soft cascade of blues, greens, and a delicate auburn fleeting across the sky to linger.

"Twilight, you know the 'Who-done-it' spell, right? The one that creates a holographic scene of whatever time frame you think something happened in?" Lyra asked, feeling like a dictionary.

"...Yeah, I could use it, why?" Twilight asked, seemingly starting to catch her breath.

"Because I don't think the giant Timber-Wolf was caused naturally, don't they only do that if they're blown apart?" Lyra added to her continuous train of thoughts.

"I think you're right. Just give me a minute and I'll use it, I need to catch my breath." Twilight took a deep breath, she sat down near a tree while Vinyl went to check on Octavia. Lyra went to the center of the scorched area and began a small investigation. She found a small, wide hole (more of a dent really) and a tiny charred pin. She grasped the item in her green aura and set it near Twilight. She then moved to look at some chipped trees, finding tiny bits on metal which she also set near Twilight. After searching for ten more minutes all she came up with was a few more bits of metal.

"Okay, I'm ready." Twilight stood and lit her horn again. "I'm going to go back an hour." Her horn's glow grew in intensity and she clamped her jaw. A large, hazy purple bubble grew and spread rapidly what then happened was almost like rewinding a DVR, trees grew green again, a black puff of smoke appeared and condensed slowly before attaining red and deep-orange streaks, wood flew back into place and formed several holographic Timber-Wolves and something that looked like a large black egg being thrown into the mass. The bubble expanded a bit more before stopping completely, four little digits appeared unknowingly on the edge of the bubble before it stopped.

"C'mon, just a little further!" Lyra lit her horn and leaned into Twilight, letting her green mix with the light purple. Lyra was going to give her some of her own magic, like a reverse-leech. Another thing taught in school. The, now purple-green, bubble grew several more feet and what owned the four little digits, now five actually because of the thumb, nearly made Lyra give out right there on the spot.

A human.

A real human!

Brown hair, tiny nose, little eyes, hands, two legs! It was real! She knew it! She wasn't crazy!

"What is that?" Twilight looked puzzled.

"Is that some sort of funky monkey?" Vinyl asked as she approached the false image.

"It seems to be a biped, perhaps a rare ape? Sophisticated shaved diamond dog?" Octavia added, circling and examining the image. With a strained grunt, Twilight faltered and the bubble popped. Lyra was to giddy to notice, dancing in place and humming excitedly.

"I was right! I was right! Humans are real!" She finally burst and her sweet, warm voice left an awkward echo in the silent woods.

"Humans? I thought you gave up on those things, they aren't real!" Twilight nearly shouted, she had put up with Lyra's obsession for the longest time but had recently started to resent the notion of an undiscovered species, every species has been categorized and named already. She was much less willing to even accept that said species was one from the stories that mothers told their foals, it was absurd and she wouldn't have any of it.

"Well then, miss 'I know everything ever', tell me what that was then! HUH? You don't know? Exactly, I know what a human looks like." Lyra cut sarcastically, she was a bit...reactive...when it came to her humans.

"Well soooooorry if I'm a bit reluctant to suddenly accept a creature from fairytales is real! How about you tell me how you know what humans look like? Because if that was a human than the thing that attacked Canterlot was also a human, and I would have to mark them down as a hostile creature." Twilight explained.

"That's racist." Lyra scoffed

"How is that racist?" Twilight shot back

"You assume that just because one is bad, all of them are." Lyra turned away from the purple mare. Her eyes went slightly wide when she saw some slight indentions that could have been the human's tracks. "You all can leave if you want, I'm going to follow these tracks!" Lyra started on a small trail

"Wait! It's dangerous to alone!" Twilight quickly caught up with her.

"You guys can go ahead, me and Octavia are going back!" Vinyl shouted before leaving with Octavia. Twilight and Lyra trotted down a deep ditch that the tracks lead into. Lyra hoped to find a human, Twilight hoped it wasn't hostile.

~Ten minutes later~

Twilight reeled back slightly as a smell she was reluctant to be familiar with, the smell of cooked meat.

"Lyra, Lyra!" She prodded the absorbed sea-foam colored harpist with a hoof to get her attention.

"What is it?" Lyra turned and asked, taking her attention from a small brass piece momentarily.

"I smell something cooking meat, do you think it's your human?" Twilight asked, turning in place a couple time to try and find a source.

"My research has told me that they are omnivorous, so it's possible." Lyra quickly answered. She grasped the brass piece in her magic and brought it close to her nose. "This smells like some of the stuff you have in your library, what was it called?" Lyra released her magic and the green was quickly replaced with purple.

"Some variation on black powder, spent." Twilight recalled. She set the piece back down and looked forwards. It was quiet, really quiet. No grasshoppers or anything.

"Twilight, listen!" Lyra whispered. Twilight stuck an ear up and could hear some faint voices. The two of them followed the voices and ducked into a large cluster of bushes when they spotted a camp-fire. There, sitting around the fire, and one laying on a mat near the fire, were six creatures. "There they are!" Lyra whispered excitedly.

"Keep quiet, they might hear us." Twilight whispered in a barely audible tone. They couldn't make out what the group was talking about at this distance, which was a good thing, it kept them from learning about their roles in a cartoon. They would lay still for hours until the group smothered their fire and entered the broken wall of some large metal water-ship, it was like a very advanced version of a kayak or canoe. Two came back out and gently lifted the one on the mat and brought it into the broken wall.

"Two hours, Lyra, can we leave yet?" Twilight rubbed a sore leg to ease the tense muscles. "You have your proof, I was wrong, let's just go! Who knows what will happen if they see us." Twilight started to plead after noticing a human leave the little tent with a sword on it's side. It whispered something and walked away, probably to get some more meat for later.

"Where do you think it's going?" Lyra asked, moving a little. She cracked a twig by accident and the human shot it's head back. It shook it's head a little before turning back and walking into the woods. Minutes later Twilight's heart stopped momentarily when she heard a large amount of noise coming from behind her and Lyra. Nothing but a squirrel running through the trees. She sighed in relief.

"I thought it got behind us." Twilight laughed briefly.

"I think we would hear it." Lyra yawned, she was getting really tired.

"Who the fuck sent y- What the fuck ARE you?!" The two mares whipped around and spotted the human pointing his sword at Lyra and a piece of metal at Twilight.

"...shit." Twilight swore.

~~Ten Minutes Earlier~~

Jason, with a heavy sigh, left the make-shift tent for watch-duty. "Sleep easy, guys, I'll be here" He said to himself. He tighten the little sheath he had on his hip for the Tanto and slowly walked away from the boat to set up some bells Daisy had devised for a perimeter.

*Snap*

"Shh"

Jason squinted a little and saw a bit of purple movement. 'If they're watching me I can't bolt to them, they'd run. Just play it cool.' He thought quickly. He pretended to shrug it off and walked into the woods as normally as possible. As soon as he was sure no one could possibly see him, he crouched and crept into the large amount of shrubberies.

"NI!" Jason jumped at the sudden sound. When he turned, he found no source of the noise. Shrugging it off, he crept further to where he saw the movement. Within minutes he found the source. One of the...horses? shot it's head back and Jason hid behind a large Red-Wood tree

"I thought it got behind us." The horse laughed briefly.

"I think we would hear it." Another horse yawned. Jason tensed, pulling out his Tanto and Shadow. He got pointed the Tanto at the green horse and Shadow at the other.

"Who the fuck sent y-" Half way through his question, he thought of a better one "What the fuck ARE you?!" He shouted. He sheathed and holstered his weapons before grabbing the pair of horses by their...

MOTHERFUCKING HORNS.

He hefted the squirming creatures up and hopped down into the clearing on the beach where his camp was. He plopped them down and gave them a strict order to stay still while he got everyone up.

"EVERYONE GET UP!" He shouted, using his hands as amplifiers. Oliver, Riley, Keith, and Daisy quickly left the tent and spotted Jason's captives. "These two were spying on our camp for who knows how long." He explained.

"Jason, those are ponies." Daisy laughed.

"They can talk!" Jason shot back. "Talk!" He ordered. Silence.

"Are those unicorns?" Keith asked quietly.

"Um...hello...I'm...I'm Twilight." The purple pony quietly said, the look on Daisy and Keith's face resembled that of the Scream painting, but silent. Riley and Oliver's faces, however, were stoic.

"See!" Jason said loudly.

"Please, we can explain!" Twilight pleaded, it was obvious she was terrified.

"Explain." Jason ordered.

"Lyra here found your tracks after we investigated the area the timber wolf was in and insisted we try and find the human that made them. She has this fascination with humans. We, as in everyone else, were taught that humans were just a myth. But I guess they aren't..." Twilight explained.

"How do I know you weren't sent to see if we were weak or in a non-defensible position?" Jason asked skeptically.

"W...what?" Lyra recoiled.

"Don't mind him, he's a bit...odd as of late. I don't know if I should tell you why without asking him." Daisy told the two ponies quietly.

"Oliver?" Riley turned to his drug-using friend.

"Yeah?" Oliver turned.

"Best day ever?" Riley stuck his hand up

"Best day ever." Oliver slapped Riley's hand.

"Anyways...What are you going to do now? I mean, you've found us, you know we're real, so what now?" Daisy asked. Twilight considered this question briefly, bringing a hoof to her chin.

"Well, you are all an un-categorized species, so I will have to ask for all of you to come back to Ponyville with-" Twilight was interrupted by Jason

"Ponyville? Seriously? God I hate puns." He sighed

"Pun? Anyways, would that be too much trouble? If it is, Lyra and I will just say that this never happened." Twilight stood and shook the dirt out of her fur.

"Is there a hospital there? One of our friends is seriously injured and needs help." Daisy asked the purple unicorn.

"Yes, there is a large hospital on the edge of town, we can bring your friend there. So you'll come with us?" Twilight then asked.

"Sounds like a plan." Daisy stuck her hand out and shook Twilight's hoof.

Talking

The small group of eight moved quickly through the dense forest with ease, before they knew it they were approaching the dimly-lit town. It could easily have been ten at night. Without raising suspicion, and possibly panic, the group slipped into the large library. Jason was gently carrying the unconscious form of Liza in his arms and soon set her down on the soft, small couch.

"Okay, questions?" Twilight started, getting several stacks of paper and multiple sets of quills.

"Why the hell should we trust you? You just up and invite us into your home? No strings? Bullshit." Jason snarled

"Cool it dude..." Oliver placed a hand on Jason's shoulder, which Jason quickly flicked away.

"No! My girlfriend is almost dead because of some fucking green magic shit and you want me to calm down? No! If I get close enough to whatever was fucking using those cannons I'll rip them in half!" Jason shouted, slamming his fist down hard on the table.

"Please, you'll wake the neighbors." Twilight insisted. Jason rubbed the bridge of his nose and sat on a nearby chair to steam.

"Okay, what do you want to know?" Jason finally found his voice again.

"Well...what is your home like? What is life like back home? Is it as friendly as it is here?" Twilight listed. Before Jason could form answers, Daisy cut him off.

"Well, life in California is pretty normal, with the occasional shootings in the bad parts of town. California is in the United States of America on Earth. It's bright, busy, and on occasion, annoying." Daisy shared a quick laugh. "While life there was really great, our past few months haven't been so good..." Daisy drifted off.

"What makes you say that?" Twilight dipped her quill in a nearby inkwell. "I mean, if you don't mind me asking." Daisy remained quiet and let Jason answer this one.

"Let's just leave it as we're stained with blood for a reason." He explained. Twilight's posture and steady pace faltered momentarily.

"Can you elaborate?" She asked

"No." Jason answered sternly. Twilight sighed before continuing to write down what she was learning.

The time flew quickly and Jason and Lyra found themselves to be the only ones left awake.

"So...you're a human." Lyra stated awkwardly. Jason just glared before sighing.

"Gee, you think so?" He quipped sarcastically. This seemed to sting the green unicorn. "Sorry, I'm just not in a good mood."

"And why is that?" Lyra then asked.

"I'd rather not say, I don't know how long I'd stay free in your 'peaceful land of Equestria'" Jason put emphasis on 'peaceful'.

"Okay, I won't push it. Hey, when the sun goes up we, you, Twilight, and I, will take Liza to the hospital, okay?" Lyra put on a smile.

"That sounds good." Jason droned unemotionally. He glanced at the resting form of Liza, watching as her face changed from various forms of pain to relief and back to pain over and over again. It was torturous just to watch. "I'm going out." He announced, he managed to cut Lyra off before she could object. "It's four in the morning, who is going to be up?" And without another word he slipped out the door like a phantom, leaving no evidence, like he was never there.

He walked, silent and without real direction through the middle of the small town. It was quiet, not like the jungles of Rook where there was always a squeal from a tapir or pig, just...quiet. There was the occasional tweet from a bird here or there, but other than that it could be described as the silence from an abandoned parking garage; quiet, yet ever sound echoes. Soon the sun would crest over the horizon and other...ponies would be up and about in their daily lives, like all was normal.

There was no reason not to be, though. They had raised no alarms upon their arrival. With a sigh, Jason slumped his shoulders. he had to stop thinking like this, like everything was still out to get him. Rook was gone, over. Did he really jump right to assuming the two ponies were hostile? Had Rook changed him that much? He investigated the full tatau that stained his arm, the eloquent and intricate designs sickening him. He heard a door creak open and he slide into a nearby space between two houses.

"Rarity...why do we need to get up so eeeaaaarrrlllly." He heard a young, high voice whine.

"Because dear, if we don't beat the morning rush into market I'll never get the good carrots before they're gone. I don't like having to cut my beauty sleep short either." An older, more experienced voice responded tiredly.

"Well then why did you get me up? I don't even like carrots!" The younger voice cracked.

"If I didn't, who would carry them? I just had my hooves done!" The older voice wailed, earning a giggle from the younger one. The pair left quickly and Jason returned to his aimless exploration, he gripped a small collection of tough rope and hoisted himself onto a high roof for a better look around. He peeked his head out carefully from behind a shop's roof-bound advertisement, seeing a growing number of towns-ponies fill the streets. Morning people, another thing he didn't understand. A noise, close to a struggle, caught his attention. It was quiet enough so that the ponies on the street wouldn't have noticed but loud enough so he could. Peeking over the edge of the roof he spotted a rather portly pony with a sharp metal object held in a turquoise aura. A mugging.

So much for the peaceful land of Equestria. Accepting no nonsense he opted to simply draw his pistol.

"Give me your damn bitpurse!" The portly thug demanded waving the improvised knife.

"No! Help!" The women, or rather, mare refused. The thug raised the shiv to strike but had it shot in two by a force he could not spot. He grabbed the sharper end and ran off quickly. The mare relaxed a bit and steadied herself "Erm, thanks whoever you are!" She called out. Jason refreshed his magazine and put the pistol away before going across the rooftops towards the library. He moved unnoticed for the most part, only jumping between the roofs when he knew no-one was watching and staying behind whatever blocked view. He eventually found a larger gap between him and the most outstretched branch on the library. He took a breath and sprinted across the roof and recklessly leaped towards the thick, wide branch. He landed roughly on the course wood but managed to keep his composure.

He found an unlocked window and dove in. How long had he been gone? He cast a glance at a nearby wall-clock and found that he had been gone for three hours. It certainly didn't feel like three hours. He shrugged, time always went fast. He spotted Twilight moving about in her kitchen and stepped in, seemingly startling her.

"Oh, Jason! You were gone for a while so I decided to contact the princess..." She looked crestfallen "I thought you were off being violent like the one in Canterlot so I got scared. I'm sorry, there's a chance you and your friends will be taken into custo-" Jason interrupted Twilight.

"'The one in Canterlot', what 'one'?" He asked.

"There was another human, he had dark skin, a mohawk, a bandana on his arm and a large scar on his head and face." She explained. Jason went blank.

"Talking crazy? Killing people? Ransom?" He continued for her.

"Do you know him?" She then asked, taking interest.

"You bet your goddamn fucking purple ass I do." He snapped. "That bastard...!" He caught himself, he still didn't feel comfortable talking about it. "Er...I mean...Yeah, I do know him."

"Okay...do you know his name?"

"His name is Vaas, and he kills for a living. If you go up against him alone, run." He explained seriously. "Is he still there? In Canterlot? I need to find him." Jason kept a calm demeanor.

"No...sadly, he escaped. He took out a whole platoon of Elite Guards on his way out too..." Twilight solemnly told. Jason sighed. Typical, so close yet so far! Maybe this is how Vaas felt when his attempts to kill Jason only ended up delaying himself? "We speculate he's taken up hold with the Griffons."

"So why not march in and get him? Isn't your Princess the sun-god?...or something?" Jason raised an eyebrow.

"We're at war with the Griffins, so there will be no marching to get anyone." Twilight stated.

"A war for what?"

Twilight looked away "I forget, sometimes. It's for them testing their new technology out on political prisoners." Twilight read from a parchment that looked very formal.

"Where are the Griffins?" Jason asked, looking over the same parchment.

"Their nearest base is in the mountains to the south. The have us surrounded seeing how Equestria is the smallest of the seven nations." Twilight pulled a scroll out of a small, dusty box and tossed it to Jason. It was a map of the world. He read off the names largest to smallest

"Dragon's Wastes, Cavern, Garon, Griffin Mountains, The Hive, Unknown, and Equestria." He read.

"We may be the smallest, but we have the second-best military!" Twilight assured. "We won't go down easily!"

"Who has the best?"

"...The dragons...obviously..." Twilight stated in a 'matter-of-fact' tone. "They're dragons."

"...Okay." Jason's ear poked up at the sound of shuffling in the main-room. "I think everyone is up." He poked his head into the room and quickly pulled back. "There are some ponies in there!" He shouted quietly. Twilight moved out of his line of sight and began talking to someone.

"Hello Princess Celestia, I didn't expect you to come on such short notice!" He heard Twilight exclaim.

"It is very nice to see you again Twilight, but I must get to the point, where is the creature?" He heard a more regal, refined and motherly voice ask.

"He is here now, and he has five friends with him, I'm afraid I jumped the wand on this one. He was just out exploring and familiarizing himself with the town, not being violent like Vaas was." Twilight explained to the owner of the voice.

"Who is Vaas? And there are multiple creatures here?" The voice then asked.

"Vaas is the human that attacked Canterlot. And yes, there are five other humans here."

"Should I get more guards?"

"No! Jason is friendly, and so are his friends. In fact, Jason could you come in here?" Jason sighed as he turned the corner out of the kitchen. He quickly scanned the room and saw fourteen armored ponies and one much larger white one with both wings and a horn; the owner of the voice.

"This is 'Jason'?" The larger pony remarked. "What an odd name..."

"Yes, he told us about humans and I told him about ponies. I have notes, if you would like to see them." Twilight brought out the several stacks of paper she had written on earlier.

"Th-that's fine Twilight." The princess stammered, obviously not wanting to read the notes. "Can this one speak?"

"I can speak just fine. I can assure you I would never harm any creature." How good is she at detecting liars?. "Vaas was...is...just...erm." He glanced at Twilight, clueless as to where to take this.

"Suffering from a massive testosterone problem, he has too much and it causes him to be very violent." She made up.

"Yeah! That!" Jason assured.

"Jason, is it time to take Liza- Holy fuck where did all the ponies come from?!" Jason turned to see Oliver being cuffed by two guards. "Hey! Hands off, I haven't done anything!" He protested.

"Princess this is Oliver, one of Jason's friends, would you mind letting him go?" Twilight asks. The guards remove the cuffs from Oliver's wrists at Celestia's request and apologize.

"Sorry Miss Twilight." The two guards say in-sync.

"I'm sorry Princess, but can this little chat wait? My friend really needs medical attention." Jason's face is begging for the Princess to go ahead and cut this meeting short.

"Better yet, I will have some of my guards take your friend to the hospital while we speak." Celestia goes ahead and orders her guards to do just that. Jason could not protest, as long as Liza got better he had no room to complain. The guards summoned a stretcher and took Liza quickly but carefully out of the library.

"What is it you want to know?" Jason asks the white alicorn.

"I want to know why you are here." She states. Jason was in no mood to beat around the bush.

"We were escaping."

"From where?"

"Rook Island."

"Where is that?"

"Off the coast of east Asia."

"And Asia is where?"

"Not here." Jason was doubting the intelligence of this Princess. "Obviously you're not getting it, princess. Rook, America, Asia, California, they're not here! Shit, is this even Earth?"

"Next question. Why were you escaping?" Celestia isn't listening.

"Because there was shit to run from."

"Specify!" The princess demanded.

"No." Jason stood his ground.

"This is going to take a while, isn't it?"

"Say please and maybe I'll consider the possibility of telling you more." Jason smiled smart-assedly. "Why do you even want to know, anyways? It's not like I'm going to do what Vaas did."

"I like knowing." Celestia answered honestly.

"Well, then yes. This will take a while."