Goodbye Forever: Second Chance

Whoever it was that came up with the saying, “Time is on your side” must have had a few screws loose.  From Trixie’s point of view, time, the eternal force that loomed over everypony like a foreboding predator, always seemed to be the enemy.  It always seemed to be doing the exact opposite of whatever you wanted.  For example, if you were having fun at a party then the hourglass would sprout cracks and the grains of sand would fall ever faster.  If you found yourself unfortunate enough to get speared into a tedious conversation with an annoying authority figure, the leak would mysteriously patch over and the sands would slow to a snail’s pace.  It was always one way or the other, fast or slow; never a gray area in-between where the two would intersect.

Two and a half weeks had gone by since Hearths Warming and the majority of that time had been spent cooped up on the couch from sun rise to sun fall; only getting up (with Autumn’s assistance) to use the bathroom.  The time that Trixie spent recovering from her extended exposure to the cold was by far the slowest and least entertaining week of her life.  There was nothing to do except sleep all day.

All of this because Summer had suddenly decided that Trixie was running the risk of further damaging her frostbitten forelimbs each time she took it upon herself to move around in spite of the slight twinges of pain.  Autumn, with her usual overly cautious self, agreed to help make sure that Trixie didn't move a muscle unless it was absolutely necessary.  The bedridden unicorn tore through her bandages without hesitation after had Summer finally announced that it was safe for her to move around on her own again.  The scars on her forelegs, served as a permanent reminder of just how close she had come to turning into an oversized icicle.

The only thing left to fix now was her weight.  Trixie stared at herself in the bathroom-mirror and took note of how clearly she could make out her own ribcage through the thin layers of fur and skin.  She’d gained a pound or two back during her stay, but it had taken months for her to get like this; she didn't expect about four months’ worth of damage to clear up in less than one.  Yeah, she’d definitely be here for a while longer.

xxxxxx

The sun’s light stretched over the horizon the following day, blessing the ponies of Equestria with the gift of a new Saturday morning.  Trixie was the first under the roof to see the new day thanks a new nightmare involving Twilight and her friends.  The dream had taken place during the first round of her match against Twilight.  After it had become clear that Trixie was the victor, instead of forcing Twilight to leave Ponyville for good, as per the conditions of the contest, Trixie grabbed Twilight by the throat in a fierce telekinetic grip.  Using the power from the Alicorn Amulet, she squeezed tighter and tighter until the champion of magic’s neck snapped like a twig. She then laughed while setting the town ablaze and slaughtering Equestria’s other five national heroes, mercilessly ending anypony who tried to stop the killing, but most of the other residents opted to run in fear.  The dream ended after a blood-soaked Trixie turned around and disappeared within the all-consuming inferno.

The unicorn’s only focus at this early hour was purging her mind of that terrible dream.  She lazily rolled off the couch and crept through the apartment until she found her only form of entertainment for the last three days since regaining her ability to walk without pain, Autumn’s bookshelf.

It was a sad little thing, covered in dust and cobwebs.  Many of the books inside were old and worn; stained from age, neglect, and other unknown variables.  The blue unicorn surmised that she was likely the first pony to even give these books a thought in several years.  She half expected to find an animal carcass behind one of the novels.

Days prior, when she finally decided to at least read the titles and back summaries of the shelf’s contents, Trixie slowly realized that not a single one of the books were happy ones; not that it mattered, she wasn't really in the mood to read about something happy with a cliché fairytale ending where the hero saves the day and everypony lives happily ever after.  What she did find surprising was that Autumn had so many darker themed stories in her possession; it just didn't match up with her warm personality.

Under different circumstances, perhaps Trixie would have been able to find some humor behind the irony of some of the novels: Throwing Away My Identity, Broken Dreams, Scream Because the World Hates Me, Misunderstood, Failure, The Voices Told Her to Do It, and Soiled Reputation.  That name of that last book nearly had Trixie fuming.   “Ooh I can’t stand them!  I don’t think that I've ever hated anypony as much as I do those six!  And that’s saying a lot given how many ponies I've had the displeasure of meeting ...  I’m almost tempted to talk Summer into helping me force feed them their own excrement until it comes out of their eyes!  She’d probably be all for it since they’re the reason why she’s stuck with me instead of doing whatever it is that she normally does …” She continued to scan through the bookshelf with a cursory glance.

“How those six can be considered heroes and role models by multitudes I’ll never know; especially that purple witch.  Her and her little pet!  As far as I can tell, almost everything that she owns was spoon fed to her.  The concept of actually having to work for the things you want would probably boggle her spoiled little mind!  The only message she’s sending is that being buddy buddy with somepony in power is the only way to get things done!  Lazy-ass ...  I bet most of the accomplishments that she’s so proud of were rigged to make her and her criminal friends look better.   I mean really, isn't it a little suspicious that whenever something big happens, they just so happen to ALWAYS be involved somehow?”  The more she thought, the darker her mood became.  “Ho, the next time they go off on another one of their scripted adventures to help save the world, I hope something goes wrong and they all die in the slowest, most agonizing ways possible!  Then it’s back to whatever layer of Tartarus that they spawned from!”

The blue unicorn continued her search until she’d finally spotted the book that she had been looking for, "Friendship Never Dies: by Sundowner".  Trixie had taken an almost instant liking to this book when she’d first started reading it.  The story was about a unicorn and her two best friends.  The three fillies were in the process of scaling a large cliff without adult supervision when something went horribly wrong.  Nearly 3/4ths of the way up, the support cable that kept the three friends connected snapped, sending the trio plummeting towards the ground below.  From where Trixie left off in the story, the only one who survived the fall was the unicorn.

Trixie took hold of the book and hurried back to the couch.  She trudged through the pages as if she was possessed, the world around her fading away as she read and read for hours; her mind focusing only on the pages.

Chapter 29

Although her mind wasn't functioning correctly, Silver Lining knew better than to walk through the center of town hauling a cart of corpses.  She also knew her mother and father would most likely not be supportive of anything regarding dead bodies, no matter how well-crafted an explanation she could give.  Silver, taxed by the heavy cart, hauled the last few steps to her home from the back alleys of Hexville.  She parked the wagon by the tree behind her house.  It was dark by now and her parents were no doubt growing worried for her safety.  She looked up to her bedroom window and removed her rigging.  She frowned and looked back to her friends, moving within whispering distance of them. “How am I going to get you girls into my room?”  She was a little perturbed with the idea of dragging them, one at a time, up the stairs.  She didn't see a way to do that and not attract the attention of her parents. Especially with the gaping wound Scooter bore that still dripped blood and brain matter.  Her mom would probably kill her if Scooter messed up the new carpet.  She let out a frustrated sigh; her friends weren't very helpful but saw some of the leftover rope in the bottom of the wagon and smiled. Scooter still had her vest on and, even though she had tossed Cherry Blossom’s away, she had worn her own. She may be able to pull them up from her bedroom -

“Good morning Trixie!”  The blue unicorn yelped in surprise, accidentally tossing the book into the air, ensuring the loss of her page for the time being.  She looked over and glared at Autumn with great irritancy.  What else would happen today that would help to worsen her mood?

“Oh, sorry!  I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Whatever,” Trixie said while rolling her eyes.  It was now that she realized how much time had gone by, adding more fuel to her belief that time is always against you.

Autumn stared at the old book which had landed a few centimeters away from her hooves and, with rising curiosity, used her magic to levitate the tome into the air.  “Friendship Never Dies?  Wow, I forgot I even had this!  This book’s a classic!”

“And I’m surprised that you ever owned a book like this to begin with.  I figured that you’d be into ‘Happier’ stories.”

“Huh?  You think that …” Autumn’s stare bounced back and forth between Trixie and the book that was being held afloat by magic, like a game of tennis.  “No no no.  This book isn't mine.  Well, technically it is now, but I’m just holding onto it.  I don’t really like Dark stories, not that I even read books anyway; I like movies better.  Oh, and I like comedy and adventure better than everything else.”  Autumn dropped the book back into Trixie’s hooves.

“So none of the stories in that bookshelf are yours then?”

“Not just the books, but the whole shelf too.  You see, that all belongs to Cereus.  He had to leave it all behind when he left for Canterlot.  He was a big Sundowner fan.  Actually, this was one of his favorite stories done by him.  The first time he read that book he complained for weeks about how, ‘Something so wonderfully written could be ignored by so many ponies.’”  Trixie saw some merit to that, considering how much dust was on the book when she’d stumbled upon it.

Autumn walked into the kitchen and turned the small knob on the stove.  A flame kindled to life as she placed a skillet onto the burner.  “So, how’d you sleep last night?”

Once again, images of Ponyville in turmoil and the mutilated remains of the Bearers of Harmony, of Twilight pleading for mercy, flashed into her mind.  “Like a newborn foal,” Trixie lied while fighting the urge to shudder. She could recall the details from the dream so vividly - from the despair that had been carved onto the faces of her victims after being blasted into pieces - right down to the intensity of the flames.  It almost felt more like a memory than a dream.

“Oh, that’s nice.”  Autumn sprayed the inside of the skillet before cracking a few eggs.  “So Trixie, there’s something that I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What is it?” asked Trixie.

“How would you feel if I talked Summer into helping me show you around Manehattan for today and tomorrow?”

“Huh?” Trixie blinked in confusion.

“Well,” Autumn used her magic to open the refrigerator and levitate a plastic container, which was filled with berries, onto the counter top.  One by one, the berries were placed into a blender, followed by a tray of ice-cubes.  The machine roared to life and Autumn was forced to raise her voice so that she could be audible over the whir of the blender.  “You've been stuck here for more than half a month now!  I know you've been feeling like a bird trapped in a cage!  And now that you can walk around without any problems, I thought that it’d be nice if we took you out to celebrate!”  After the contents inside had been ground into a fine liquidy mixture, silence reigned after the machine was unplugged from the socket.

“Hmm, so you wanna know if I feel like going for a walk through the city?” questioned Trixie.

“Yeah, that’s right.  What do you say?”

Her response was nearly instantaneous.  “Not interested in the slightest.”  She picked the book back up and began searching for the page that she left off on.

“Oh come on, Trixie … you’ll have a great time!  I promise!”

“No,” she answered for the second time without even looking up from the book.

“C’mon, just this once!”

Her voice was mechanical and devoid of emotion. “Same question, same answer.”  Oh goodie, she found the page that she left off on.  Now, which paragraph w- … what in Tartarus?  Why did it feel like somepony was breathing really hard against the side of her face on purpose? “Oh for the love of …”

Trixie slanted her eyebrows and half closed her eyes as she slowly turned to her side.  She was now face to face with Autumn who was making silly faces, no doubt in an attempt to get Trixie to laugh.  She was failing miserably.

“Pleeeaaaassseee ...”

“You know,” Trixie said matter of factly, “A wise stallion once said that the true definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  So should I be telling Summer to bring over a psychiatrist?  And one more thing, you should probably turn off the fire.  I think the eggs are starting to burn.”

With a yelp of alarm, Autumn rushed back into the kitchen only to return moments later.  This time she seemed slightly more serious in her approach.  “Okay, all jokes aside now, what’s up?  What do you want to say inside for?”  When Trixie ignored the question and continued to read, Autumn used her magic to tug the book from Trixie’s hooves.  “I thought you’d jump at the chance for something like this.  Like I said before, a bird in a cage!  And now that the door is sitting wide open for you, you’d rather stay perched instead of fly for freedom?  What gives?”

Trixie’s frustration level was close to its boiling point now.  Being treated like some helpless cripple for weeks on end, the nightmare, the books reigniting some of her fading resentment towards Twilight and her friends, and now this!  Autumn was like the insect from Tartarus!  No matter how many times you swat at it, it keeps coming back to bother you.  Unfortunately for Autumn, Trixie’s patience had finally run out.  She took one look towards the ceiling, up at the book which was still suspended in the air, and then she looked back at the green and yellow maned unicorn.  “You know, I think that it’d be a really great idea if you’d stop being so annoying, stay out of my business, and gave me back that book.”  Her tone was low but harsh at the same time.  “And get this through your walnut sized brain while I’m at it, ‘No’.  Means.  ‘No’.  And that won’t change no matter how many times you ask me the same question.  Now go sell some flowers or something you useless filly.”

Autumn staggered back a few steps as if she’d been hit physically.  The mare had just about been rendered speechless.  After the initial shock had withered down some, she gently lowered the book back into Trixie’s hooves.  “Well … don’t mind me then.  Forget I even asked.”  Autumn, suddenly feeling a lot less tempted to help out her guest, turned around and walked towards the stairs.  “The food’s done.  Help yourself when you get ready.”  Stop being so annoying?  Walnut sized brain?  … Useless little filly?  “Maybe I should have let her freeze,” she mumbled under her breath.

Trixie heard this and was shocked backed into reality.  It was now that she realized just how far overboard she'd gone with her words.  “Way to go, dumbass!  Getting snappy with Autumn and then threatening her like that.  And for what?  Because she took some dusty old book away that wasn't even yours?”  Trixie looked at the book with escalating shame.  “She’s just trying to help you.  That’s all she ever tried to do since you got here, which is more than you can say for most ponies.  You’re sure doing a nice job of returning the favor …”

Trixie pressed her hoof against her nose and shook her head in disapproval of what she said before.  “Alright, alright, hold on, Autumn …”

The mare turned back from the stairway and gave Trixie a sharp glare that said, “What do you want now?”

The burning stare alone was almost enough to silence Trixie, but she continued.  “Whatever, I’ll go … it’s just,” Trixie took a moment to get a feel for how much magic she could use.  On the inside, she swore up and down that the benefits from the illusion spell were the only things that kept her from breaking off her own horn.  Not that the spell would give her that much help anyway.  If she had to guess, she only had enough power to safely keep the spell going for no more than 10 minutes, and that was assuming that all she did was lighten her coat a few shades and maybe darken the color of her mane a little.  By her estimate, if things got really bad and she had to go with a more drastic change, such as turning her coat from blue to brown and her mane from silvery-white into a red and black mix, she’d only be able to keep herself hidden for about two minutes.

“It’s just …” she started again.  “It doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure why I don’t want to be seen by other ponies, especially the way I am now.  I've been really careful up to this point, but the way that I've been using won’t work until my strength gets back up.”   Trixie focused in on Autumn’s features and saw that the initial shock from before had grown into low levels of anger.  “I’ll go … it’s just that I don’t have a way to hide from everypony else.”

Autumn came back towards the couch and pointed towards the front door.  “Do you see the closet that’s between the front door and the kitchen?”  She didn't bother to check and see if Trixie nodded in confirmation or not.  “Look in there and you’ll see a few hoodies over on the right.  They all belong to Summer and she usually wears them when she’s on her way to the gym.  Summer wears a size large.  You look like you wear a medium so the hoodies will be a little big on you.  Hopefully it’ll be enough to help keep your face covered.”

“An oversized hoodie?  That’s the best you can come up with?”  Autumn fixed Trixie with another dark glare.  “I mean … thank you.”

“Oh, don’t mention it,” the pink unicorn said without trying to mask her sarcasm.

“Autumn.”

   “What now?”

Trixie set the book aside and cleared her throat.  “I’m sorry.  I didn't mean to snap like that.”

The apology seemed to lift Autumn’s mood, but not by much.  “Don’t worry about it.  You already said that you didn't want to go.  The conversation should have ended there, but I wouldn't let things end.  I don’t mean to be so nosy; it’s just how I am.  Summer’s been calling me out on that since we were fillies.”  Calming down a bit more, she started up again.  “But seriously, and I want you be honest, do you really want us to show you around, or are you just saying that so you don’t hurt my feelings?”

“I've been down for the count for over two and a half weeks.  ‘A bird trapped in a cage’ or something like that, right?”  Autumn seemed to smile a little at hearing her own words recited.  “Besides, I haven’t been able to really enjoy myself since I got here; not that I would have been able to anyway.  There isn't too much that you can do if you don’t have the money; but that should be a given, right?”

“Right … I’ll go wake up Summer.

“Hold on.”  Autumn stopped again and looked back.  “Where are we going?”

“That’s the beauty of it,” Autumn had calmed down even more now.  “I’m not even sure myself!”

“Are you fooling around to keep everything a secret, or are you serious?”

“Do I look like I’m in the mood to act goofy?”  It was Trixie’s turn to flinch back. “Now then, Manehattan’s a big place.  There’re at least a hundred different places that the three of us could go to.  The plan was to go out and, I don’t know, pick a place at random?  Anyway, we’ll have fun, just wait and see.”

Trixie frowned a little again.  “I really am sorry about earlier.”

“So am I Trixie, so am I.”